#but i go on social media and it makes me angry and sad to see how much everyone hates each other

[hauntingofhouses]

i love being southeast asian.

despite whatever unhappy history, despite the rise of ethnonationalism and racism in our countries; despite the fact that most of us remain in the global south under the invisible thumb of western empires and conglomerates, exploited by rich expats and beg-packers; despite the conservatism, the bigotry, the pain and prejudice and the corruption.

despite all that, i love where i am from. this is my home.

my hands tenderly trace the lines of our history and find within it a colourful collection of influences that continue to shape us until today:

the native malays, javanese, sundanese, minangkabau, bugis, visayan, tagalog, and other dominant peoples.

alongside indigenous tribes like the iban, kadazan, sama-bajau, temuan, penan, jakun, and hundreds upon hundreds more ethnic groups.

all of us holding onto our ancestors' mysticism and spirituality and animism, the watchful gaze of legacy fixed on us as we move through an ever-changing and modernising world (and what is modernity anyway? isn't civilisation overrated?).

and then the chinese peoples. the hainanese, hokkien and cantonese and more, many of whom came here due to trade in the pre-colonial era, but then most arrived as the imported labour for the colonial powers.

but this is their home too. we live here together, and through them we all celebrate lunar new year and the mid-autumn festival. all of us give red envelopes during our many festivals. we give oranges that symbolise prosperity and ring in the year of the rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat. we hold lion dance performances in our malls and marks. we eat and exchange mooncakes.

and then the indian peoples, though mostly tamil indians from south india, but also sikhs, malayalis, and punjabis, who arrived and assimilated and spread their culture and beliefs much earlier before the pre-colonial era, causing the indianisation of southeast asia. then more indian peoples came during the colonial era, again, as imported labour, working our fields or donning the uniform of our common oppressors, kept walled away from us despite how alike we look and sound.

because truly we do sound the same. sanskrit remains an abundant source for a large chunk of our languages. i hear the vedic mantras and can pick apart words that sound familiar. hinduism and buddhism still leaves its traces in our cultures even for those of us who've shifted to islam.

and yes, islam. we're not what the west thinks of when they talk about the muslim world, but southeast asia has some of the largest muslim populations in the world. because through trade, since the medieval times, islam came here and with it brought so many arabic influences that has come to shape our languages and customs, with plenty of our cultures having since been morphed around islamic beliefs and ideas. in malaysia and indonesia and brunei (and perhaps even certain parts of the philippines) you'll find a mosque or a prayer room everywhere you go. and every ramadan millions of us fast, every eid all of us dress up and visit each other's houses for feasts and festivities.

then of course came european colonisation at the hands of the portugese, dutch, british (in malaysia and indonesia's case we got all three), spanish, and french their reigns lasting over 400 years. and from them we came european culture and more new languages, english quickly becoming a second language (or even a first language) for so many of us, missionaries building churches and spreading the word of jesus christ as the son of god; with their fair features they draw a line between us and them, between the civilised and the barbarians, between the light-haired light-eyed and the unruly dark-haired dark-eyed.

and then comes world war 2 and the japanese invasion, and for most it was so brutal and violent, and for the rest it was miserable, with famine and inflation but we were forced to sing songs in japanese anyway, to watch their planes fly in the sky towards their enemies, to swallow their ideas in our parched throats.

and then the war ended and wounds began to heal, and then came the 1980s until now with all its shiny technology: nintendo, panasonic, television and anime, and now we have leagues of people learning japanese language and culture anyway, except now it is done wholeheartedly, and as it turns out japanese isn't even that different from our own cultures anyway. houses on stilts made of wood with thatch roofs, making our living from the sea and coast, eating rice for every meal, our phonetics and theirs so alike.

and today we have waves of their expats migrating here because of course they do, we're the Global South™ and for them it's cheap and affordable, so we have little japans sprouting here and there and sometimes i go to a random street and find signs written in japanese and read bits of broken hiragana.

and it's beautiful, being able to move through this world and find the handprints we've all left upon it. it's a wonderful amalgam of so many traditions and colours and beliefs and language all mixing around in this huge bubbling melting pot.

and i'm not chinese or indian or arab or british but when i see them on tv, i'm also seeing a part of me, i hear the words in their tongue and i recognise them as mine, i eat their food and know them as intimately as my own.

but of course our politicians, our kings and our prime ministers (and the divide-and-conquer rule of colonisers now gone) continue to divide us and make us hate each other, fanning flames of distrust and fear of that-which-is-different.

it's such a shame too, because it's so special. it's what makes us us, our dozens of creoles, the way we can speak a sentence comprising vernacular from at least four languages and we all understand each other anyway.

we have a word in malay, "rojak", which is also the name of a dish that mixes a bunch of different ingredients, and is found in malaysian, indonesian and singaporean cuisine. but where i'm from, we also say "rojak" to mean anything that's an eclectic mixture of things, things that seemingly don't go together and aren't necessarily pleasing to the eye but still, somehow, it works, in fact it tastes good, spicy and flavourful and hearty.

and that's us: southeast asia, all of it, a beautiful rojak culture. and it's ours.

[mywritersmind]

hey girl! are you writing for franco atm??? if so I wanted to see if you could write smth like fluff or reader and franco get in a fight maybe bcs of the time zones and races and he surprises her one night before race weekend like he catches a flight to see her but she still won’t budge on talking to him xxx

YELL AND FLY - FC43

listen up : just arguing but ending in comfort. thanks for the request this lowk almost made me cry

word count : 877

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I can hear him pacing, the sounds of drilling and tires in the background, “I’m just tired, Franco.” We’ve been like this for an hour, I keep hearing him swear in spanish and making sure everyone leaves him alone.

“You don’t think I am?” he groans as someone tries to speak to him again, “Fuck, obviously I’m tired! You’re not the one working every weekend.”

I scoff and sit up in my bed, the sun not even up yet, “That's unfair and you know it, Franco! I work! I work even more when you’re away!” I say sarcastically, “But I'm sorry that you have to do the job you chose and you love!”

I shake my head as he responds, “I didn’t mean that, love.”

“Yes you did. And that’s fine but don’t push your anger onto me. You always do shit like this.”

“Like what?” His voice raises.

I run my hand into my hair, “You don’t think I support you.”

“Well it’s hard to think that when you’re not here supporting me.” I want to hit him, then myself. How could he think that? After I said I wanted to be there but couldn’t because I was fucking working. He takes it back quickly, “I’m sorry i’m just overwhelmed-”

“Franco. I’m tired.” Tired of this. Tired of waking up so early and staying up late for a ten minute call where we just fight, “we should talk about this later.”

He still sounds angry, “I’m busy all day.”

I stay silent. What am I supposed to say? Cry and tell him to not be? I have no choice but to nod.

“Good luck.”

He sighs, I hear the ruffling of his hair, “I’m sorry. I wish you were here.”

“Me too.” He’s mad at me and I’m mad at him. I’ve been with Franco long before his F1 debut, but us yelling over the phone every weekend isn’t something I expected with the job.

⋆｡‧˚⋆

I watched his race, texted him, and logged off social media for the day. He’s off to Mexico but I just can’t leave right now. I’m sitting in the kitchen, eating my cereal and leaning over the counter while listening to Taylor Swift.

There’s a knock at the door, I groan. I’m in the same pajamas as two days ago and my hair is in the messiest bun I've seen in a while.

When I open the door, my jaw actually drops.

“Franco?” I poke him as if I think he’s some figment of my imagination. Have I really gone that crazy that I'm imagining my boyfriend at my door?

“Hi, love.” He’s real. He walks in, shutting the door softly. I want to cry as he slips his arms around me, “I’m so sorry.”

His voice washes over me and I hug him tighter, breathing him in and realizing how much I missed how he smells.

“I’m mad at you.” It comes out as a whisper, my voice broken and sad.

“You can be.” I pull back a bit, his hands in my hair, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Why are you here?” I cross my arms, stepping back.

Franco looks nervous, a bag by his side, “I wanted to see you. I thought you wanted that too…”

“Of course I did!” I sigh dramatically.

He smiles at my anger, “So, I'm here for you.”

I shake my head, going to the kitchen and cleaning up my breakfast. I don’t know how to feel. I’m so happy he’s here. But then what? He’ll just leave again and I’ll watch two second clips of him on the TV?

He follows me into the kitchen, “Love… Let me do it.” I let him because I hate the dishes.

I sit on the counter, watching him gently washing the bowl with his sleeves rolled up. He drys his hands, then looks up at me.

“I’m sorry for being mad.” I look at the floor but he steps in between my legs so I look at him, “It’s just hard.”

“It’s hard for me too. I want you there all the time but I'm so proud of you!” he puts his hands on my outer thighs, “Time Zones suck.”

I laugh, wiping my eyes from the tears that spill down my face, “I’m proud of you too. Shit, you’re so amazing. I hate working.”

“Quit.” He says it so fast.

“Franco!” I swat at his arm, letting out a sort of sob laugh.

“Okay, you can quit when I get a full time seat.” I laugh as he smiles softly up at me, “I know it’s rough right now.”

“We can work through it. We’re us.” His thumbs smooth over my cheeks.

He nods, “We’re us.”

“How long are you here for?”

He frowns, “I leave tomorrow night.” I frown with him, “But I'm here now.”

I sigh, knowing he’s right. I look up at my boyfriend, his hands on me. I know I need to live in the moment now.

I kiss him softly and he pulls me into another hug, his arms around my waist, “I love you.”

I run my hands through his hair, “I love you too. We can do this.”

[asunsetgrace16]

Johnny Gaudreau: A Tribute

Johnny Gaudreau was born in Salem, New Jersey.

He was drafted by the Calgary Flames 104th overall in the 4th round of the 2011 NHL Entry Draft. He played hockey for Boston College for 3 seasons, from 2011-2014. He won the National Chapionship title in 2011, and the Hobey Baker Memorial Award as college hockey's best player in 2014.

Johnny spent 9 seasons with the Calgary Flames and 2 with the Columbus Blue Jackets. During his first full season with Calgary, he was selected to go to the 2015 All Star Game and was a Calder Memorial Trophy, and won the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy as the NHL's most gentlemanly player in 2017. He was a 7-time NHL All Star through his career. Johnny was known as "Johnny Hockey" and had incredible skill and success on the ice, despite his size. He played for the Columbus Blue Jackets for the past two seasons and quickly became a favourite.

This is a tribute to our beloved player, may Johnny and Matthew forever rest in peace.

For Johnny...

from me

I am forever going to be sad over losing Johnny, but I am also angry. Two amazing people would still be here if that driver simply decided not to get behind the wheel yesterday night. I wasn't a hockey fan when he was still playing for the Flames, but he was one of four players I knew. He always made me smile when he was shown on camera, and his memory will live on forever in Calgary. His positivity and kindness, his electric game. Johnny was so much more than a hockey player. He was a husband, a father. A son, a brother, a friend, a teammate. My heart and prayers go to his wife and children, parents, sisters, and family. And please, please, take time to grieve. Take time to remember Johnny and what he meant to you, and to the game. Rest in peace, Johnny Hockey, fly high.

I believe that it is a testament to a person's character that when tragedy strikes, there are hundreds or thousands of people mourning for them, regardless of whether they knew each other or not. That is what Johnny has done for the hockey community. His infectious excitement and passion has moved people in ways he probably never imagined. We may never hear Johnny Hockey echo through an arena in celebration of a goal, but we will hear it in celebration of his life, of his game. We will keep his legacy alive. Forever.

Here's to #13

from @chukys-mouthguard

Johnny was never mentioned on my blog prior to this news. And while I know I don’t need to explain or justify my sudden sadness, I’d just like to reiterate this point above. We don’t have to post about someone or obsess over them online to love them. Johnny was never a player I would’ve written fanfiction about or shared unhinged thoughts. I’d loved him and admired him from my time playing hockey, and he was unlike anyone else. I frequently explained that compared to all the other players I love or “obsess” over, Johnny is in a league of his own. The sheer love and admiration I had for what an amazing hockey player, but an even more amazing person he was is something I can’t put into words. Rarely do athletes or celebrities have an impact on me, but Johnny did. The idea that I won’t get to see him take the ice again in Nationwide Arena, I don’t get to hear commentators call him Johnny Hockey anymore, and most importantly the fact that this heartbreaking tragedy is undoubtedly sending shockwaves through a family that was looking forward to a weekend of celebration of love and togetherness at their sister’s wedding. It all hurts. And there are no words right now. I want to blink my eyes and have someone tell me I’m dreaming. My own mother called me on my way to work to tell me the news because she didn’t want me to find out through social media, that’s the impact this man had on me and I’m sure so many fans across the hockey community. My sister even reached out to make sure I was okay. So yeah, people can say “they are just an athlete” or “why are you so upset over someone you don’t know?” And I respect people having those opinions, but when players truly make a mark on the sport and the fans, it resonates with you. Because you feel like you know them, like they invite you into their world and give you a chance to look at them in new ways. My thoughts are with the entire hockey community that knew johnny, and most importantly his family as they endure this terrible loss of Johnny and Matthew 💔

johnny gaudreau has been my favorite nhl player since his college days, and I have no words right now. I have multiple jerseys of his, signed memorabilia, but I sadly never got to meet him and tell him how much i loved him as a person and a player. My love for him, if you know me offline, s was unmatched compared to any other player I obsess over online. This world is so cruel and I’m heartbroken. I’m so thankful to have seen him play on multiple occasions, but blue jackets games will not be the same without his #13 on the ice 💔😞

from @perfectlysaltycat32

I just want to say the passing of Johnny and Matty Gaudreau is such a sad and unfortunate moment. Every time I looked through social media and saw more snippets of what happened and how he is remembered it just gets so much more sadder. It's really tragic how this happened *the day before* their sisters wedding. A time where the whole family is sharing one of their happiest moments, and now it's going to be a time of grief. I think it is absolutely gorgeous how all the Calgary fans came together in memory of them with their memorial. They are truly loved everywhere in the hockey community. I hope that every player has access to good therapy and counseling because this is such a rough way to start the season, but I am glad with how positive all of their friends, family, and teammates are. It really just once again shows how loved both of them are. They had a great life, were amazing people, and it deserved to be longer. But now they can watch over their families, teammates, and friends. I'm sending my condolences to everyone affected. Johnny was an amazing father, husband, son, brother, friend, captain, and teammate. He is and always will be Johnny Hockey. Matty was also an amazing husband, son, brother, teammate, and friend. It is deeply saddening that his wife has to raise her expecting baby without him. I hope everything goes smoothly as they can for her, and she and the baby can be healthy. Everyone loves you both, Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. You will be loved and missed. 🕊️❤️

from @wehaveagathering

When I first got into hockey I heard about a guy named "johnny hockey" and I thought that this was like, a legend — someone like Gretzky or Lemieux, who had been so good that he'd had the game incorporated into his name forever. Imagine my surprise when I learned that this dude was just Johnny Gaudreau, not just a legend but an active one too, one still playing. I thought that was really cool. I figured he must have done something really special to earn that nickname. Turns out it wasn't just what he did — it was who he was. Rest easy, Johnny Hockey. You built a legacy that will live for a long time.

from @traiteursroe

I want to take a moment to talk about Johnny and Matty Gaudreau today. Absolute icons. “Johnny Hockey” has been a name that has been recognizable in sport since 2014. He was a gentleman and a fast fucking skater. His brother Matty was smart and talented. The fact that they’ve been taken away from their families by a drunk driver is heartbreaking and inexcusable. Spare a thought and a prayer for them today.

from @crow-the-unknown

just saw the news about johnny gaudreau and his brother's death and i'm honestly at a loss for words. my heart aches for his family and all the friends he's made throughout his career. i can't even put into words how horrible and devastating this is for everyone in the hockey community. sending my prayers their way. i'm fucking wrecked about this. if i could say more i would but. i don't even know. it doesn't even feel real.

from @callsign-denmark

Rest in Peace Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. This was a horrible and tragic loss to the hockey community but more importantly a tragedy to your families. My prayers go out to them all. The hockey community has woken up today to the tragic knew of the passing of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau who were killed last night while riding their bikes in their hometown by a drunk driver who was speeding while trying to pass other vehicles who were going slow to pass the brothers safely. Both brothers were hit from behind, and died due to their injuries. They were in their home town for their sister Katie's wedding which was set to take place today. Johnny and Matthew were not just hockey players, but brothers, sons, husbands, fathers, uncles and friends to many people who are now without their loved ones on a day that was supposed to be filled with joy and love. Please let all of us in the hockey community, as fans, to take a moment of silence no matter what team you cheer for, and send out a silent prayer to the family who will no longer get to hold Johnny and Matthew in their arms, who will no longer get to watch them grow old playing the game they loved, and to the children growing up without a father and uncle to guide them throughout life and love them. While we feel sorrow and sadness over this lose, it's nothing compared to their families who will have to live this life without them.

from @19mercer

all of the insta story posts from many hockey players, teams, and other sport leagues for johnny and matthew gaudreau make me cry. all of the support for their families is genuinely so sweet. i wish nothing but the best for their families during this hard time. i will forever be grateful that i was able to watch him play in the nationwide arena. i am forever grateful for johnny and his time as a blue jacket. and his time with us. thank you for everything 13. rest easy johnny and matthew.

from @bibliomoth

I adored Johnny because he was a such a small streak of lightning in a game full of huge dudes who were regularly a whole foot taller than him. His skills were just fucking phenomenal and he was so exciting to watch. I screamed with joy and cheered him on so loudly I lost my voice on many occasions. He represented his country for International Competitions and is the highest US point scorer. I could get technical and talk about my favourite goals of his, his stickhandling, dangles, on ice spatial awareness etc but it is all on film for anyone to see, just too much to choose from. Nobody moved like Johnny Hockey. As a person he was a sweet, kind guy who was universally liked in the sport and beyond. I do not follow celebrities on social media, but on hockey forums there are endless stories of his voracious love of mac and cheese (so much so Kraft put him in a TV ad) and skittles candies that he had a hockey stick covered in them and auctioned for charity. In interviews he always talked hockey and his family. Whenever asked about new contracts and paycheques he would just shrug and say ‘yeah I bought my dad a boat so we can go fishing’ or ‘I just got a cool new wheelchair lift installed in my holiday home so my cousin can come and spend time with me’, or change the subject and talk about his dog, his wife and kids or The Birds. He was a real gem of a gentleman, modest and always ready to give credit to his team and dad (legendary NJ coach Guy Gaudreau) who motivated Johnny to skate as a toddler by placing skittles candies on the ice for him to fetch. I’m am so sad for him, his family. This is just a blurb of feels about someone I counted down the days for until I could see them make magic on ice. I wish I could write a good tribute, dammit. Thank you Johnny Hockey.

from @blusical

Johnny was more than a hockey player. He was a friend, father, son, brother, whatever you say. And please, don't forget about Matthew too. In fact, don't forget about any of the Gaudreau family, they're struggling too.

from @slavet0thegrind

Man, the news about Johnny Gaudreau's passing has shaken this entire city. I've never cried over the death of an athlete before. Until today. He may have been traded, but everyone in Calgary loved that man so much. The fact that right now the steps of our arena are covered in purple Gatorade and flowers on honor of him says so much. I have also heard that people are flocking to what we refer to as "the Red Mile" tonight to honor him, which is a street downtown that turns into one big party whenever the Flames play a game during playoffs. Everyone pours out of the arena and heads down there to celebrate, or watches the game at bars on that street if they're not at the game. Johnny reignited the Flames when they were starting to burn out, he led that team for so long. We didn't call him Johnny Hockey for no reason. And for him and his brother to be tragically killed the day before their sister's wedding by a fucking drunk driver... It's unbelievably heartbreaking. Rest in Peace Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau 💔😭

from @areyoutherelarry

There are not any words to express how deeply sad and awful it is to hear about the killing of the Gaudreau brothers. They seemed like wonderful humans who positively impacted those around them. They had families who were clearly ripped through by this horrific tragedy. There are wives who will have to raise kiddos without their partners, and kiddos who won't have their dads around. Parents who outlived their kids. A sister who didn't get married. It's bleak shit. There's also a team that has faced so much tragedy. Boone Jenner has had to support the team through two tragic deaths (and faced his own personal loss this year), anyone who was around when Matiss Kivlenieks died, and Sean Monahan who was so excited to be reunited with Gaudreau. This is just heavy shit.

from @brb-counting-stars

today is such a hard day, but take inspiration from johnny to live life by being the kindest and generous person you can. take inspiration from the way he didn’t know if he would be able to make it into the show and pushed on anyways. take inspiration from the kind of brother he was. take inspiration from all the stories of what he would do for fans he spent mere moments with but those memories stayed with them for years, the philanthropic work he would do all throughout his career. take inspiration from the guy that grinned as brad marchand yapped at him from the opposite penalty box and then went on to score a hat trick, the teammate that was so beloved he inspired his buddy to sign with a team so that they could play together again. take inspiration from the nine-year-old kid that earned the nickname “love machine”, the twenty-seven-year-old man who finished his bachelor’s degree nine years later because he made a promise to his mom. and of course, you can’t forget the stories of him taping pucks to himself for weighing in at the combine, or writing a paper in college on how to make a ham and cheese sandwich, or how he would wipe red sauce off his meatballs, or how he got sick from mainlining nutella to gain weight for the season, or how he tried to cash his first paycheck at a random bar atm, or how he wore yeezys to ride a horse at the calgary stampede. live life to the fullest and remember johnny’s kindheartedness, humility, and positivity. his presence and spirit will really be missed throughout the hockey community.

from @hufflepuffhabs

Ever since seeing the devastating news yesterday afternoon while at work, I've been thinking of what the right words are in a situation as hopeless as this. There is no return button, no undo. In Memory of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau Ever since seeing the devastating news yesterday afternoon while at work, I've been thinking of what the right words are in a situation as hopeless as this. There is no return button, no undo. A family, a community left with empty spots. All the circumstances make it only sadder and more tragic. There are no right words, but there are tokens of hope, showing up and lighting a candle in memory and remembrance for not only two incredible hockey players but humans. When I was a little tween hockey fan, I really liked the Calgary Flames. Mostly because they drafted a Swiss guy 1st round, but they had many other young prospects, Johnny being probably the brightest. But as for many, it was his character that impressed me most, a Skittle loving child-at-heart guy that left it all on the ice. I will always remember how disappointed he was when they did not all him to do a stunt with a burning stick at the All-Star Game. May Johnny and Matthew rest in peace. And may we think of their family and of all families that have lost loved ones in this tragic way.

from @tattoed-and-toothless

Fly high and rest easy Johnny and Matthew 🕊 You left behind a lot of amazing memories to be remembered by. The hockey world is rallying around your family, they'll be well taken care of ♥️

from @sportspuckball

I've driven that road. Fuck that driver for literally ever. May Matthew and Johnny's memories forever be a blessing to all who loved them, knew them, and were impacted by them. So many of us knew Johnny, but I'm also thinking a lot about the high school kiddos that Matthew coached. Every aching moment of this fucking sucks. Don't let anyone tell you that grieving someone you don't know personally is stupid -- grief is grief and it is yours. Do what you need to process it as you see fit. The only thing any of us *need* to do is respect the family's privacy as they grieve, too.

from the Columbus Blue Jackets

The Columbus Blue Jackets are shocked and devastated by this unimaginable tragedy. Johnny was not only a great hockey player, but more significantly a loving husband, father, son, brother and friend. We extend our heartfelt sympathies to his wife, Meredith, his children, Noa and Johnny, his parents, their family and friends on the sudden loss of Johnny and Matthew. Johnny played the game with great joy which was felt by everyone that saw him on the ice. He brought a genuine love for hockey with him everywhere he played from Boston College to the Calgary Flames to Team USA to the Blue Jackets. He thrilled fans in a way only Johnny Hockey could. The impact he had on our organization and our sport was profound, but pales in comparison to the indelible impression he made on everyone who knew him. Johnny embraced our community when he arrived two years ago, and Columbus welcomed him with open arms. We will miss him terribly and do everything that we can to support his family and each other through this tragedy. At this time, we ask for prayers for the Gaudreau family and that their privacy be respected as they grieve.

from the Calgary Flames

It is with great sadness, we mourn the tragic deaths of our friend Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew Gaudreau. Our hearts are broken by this devastating loss. Johnny was and always will be a member of the Flames family and loved by all of Calgary. It was our privilege to call Johnny our teammate for nine amazing years in Calgary. He came to Calgary as a young man and grew up here, not only as a superstar on the ice, but also a beloved member of our community. The pain we feel for Johnny's wife Meredith, children No and Johnny, parents Jane and Guy, sisters Kristen and Katie, and the entire Gaudreau family is immense. Ownership, management, players, and staff of the Calgary Flames express our heartfelt spates during their time of sorrow. You are in our thoughts and prayers ❤️

from Brad Treliving

I am absolutely devastated by the news of Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew's passing. John was truly a special player, dazzling on the ice with his incredible talent, but what made him truly special was the person he was off the ice. His thousand-watt smiles and infectious personality were matched only by his love for his family, friends, and those close to him. He brought joy to everyone around him and to the many who never knew him but marvelled at his excellence on the ice. John was a beloved teammate and a friend to so many in the hockey community, and he will be deeply missed by all of us who had the privilege of knowing him. My heart goes out to the entire Gaudreau family - to his mom and dad, Jane and Guy; his sisters, Kristen and Kate; his loving wife, Meredith; his precious children, Noa and Johnny; and everyone affected by his unimaginable loss. Family was everything to John, and in his memory, please hug those close to you tighter and longer today and every day.

from Gary Bettman

(paraphrased)...While Johnny's infections spirit for the game and show-stopping skills on the ice earned him the nickname "Johnny Hockey", he was more than just a dazzling hockey player; he was a doting father and beloved husband, son, brother, and teammate who endears himself to every person fortunate enough to have crossed his path... ...He will be remembered fondly in Calgary, where he played his first nine seasons with the Flames form 2013-14 to 2021-22, emerging as one of our League's brightest young stars while compiling the franchise's fits-highest career points total. His loss also will be felt profoundly in Columbus, the city in which he chose to settle his family and where he was one of the respected, veteran leaders of a club building toward the playoffs. And both Johnny and Matthew will be mourned at Boston College, where they were teammates the year Johnny won the Honey Baker Award in 2013-14, and at Gloucester Catholic High School in New Jersey, where both played and where Matthew was the head coach following his own five-year pro playing career. We send our most heartfelt condolences to his wife Meredith; their children, Noa and Johnny; his parents, Guy and Jane; and sisters Kristen and Katie. And we grieve alongside his teammates, members of the Columbus and Calgary organizations, his many friends hockey and countless fans around the world for whom he created incredible memories on and off the ice.

from Pascal Vincent

I want to extend my deepest condolences to the family of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. This tragedy has left me speechless and in shock. Over the years, I had the privilege of getting to know the real Johnny Gaudreau - the person behind the hockey player. He was a humble and unassuming young man with extraordinary talent, who never sought to be in the spotlight. Instead, he enjoyed life's simple pleasures and possessed a quiet strength of character. His passion for the game and exceptional hockey sense allowed him to achieve greatness, yet he remained grounded and true to himself. I had the pleasure of meeting his wonderful family, including his wife, children, and parents. My thoughts are with them today. It's an honor to have known not only the incredible hockey player but also the kind and beloved person Johnny was to everyone he met. Wherever we went, people admired him on and off the ice. Despite his success, he remained humble and genuine. Johnny, you toughed so many lives with your kindness and contagious smile. I feel fortunate to have known you so closely. Your memory will stay with me forever. Rest in peace Johnny.

from @love-youu-softly

When I first got into hockey, I was feeling really lost. The flames were one of the first teams I became a fan of, and so many nights were spent alone in my room at 20 years old watching the flames and Johnny hockey. Will forever be important to me.

from @primakira

johnny gaudreau was the first player i ever learned about when i was trying to get into hockey. he was a spitfire on the ice and an even greater person off of it. i'll probably write something longer later since i can't even type this through my tears, but for now, thank you so much for everything, johnny. 💙 rest in peace to his brother matthew as well. such an unimaginable tragedy. my heart goes out to the entire gaudreau family and to everyone that loved them.

out of all the players i like in the nhl, johnny has a special place in my heart because he was the first player i ever knew. he's the reason i got into the sport during the pandemic. even before connor mcdavid or sidney crosby, there was johnny hockey. as soon as i saw his small stature and big smile, i was hooked. his smile was infectious, his hands were amazing, his skating was mesmerizing (his lil strides were so cute too), and his heart was all-encompassing. every night, you couldn't believe the things he could do. he was a spitfire on the ice - constantly underestimated but tenacious as hell. furthermore, he was kind, humble, funny, and down to earth. there's a reason everyone loved him. hell, his team would wage a war for him (matty tkachuk i'm looking at your penalties during that stars series). off the ice, he was a family man through and through. he loved his family so fucking much and he loved his community so much. all he wanted was the perfect place to call home for his kids and he found it. johnny encapsulated the joy of hockey, and he took that joy with him today. my heart goes out to everyone who loved him and matthew, especially their family and friends. the world lost two bright stars in a heartbreaking and senseless tragedy. thanks for everything, johnny. may you and matthew rest in peace. 🕊

from @bedsyandco

so shocked and saddened by the news of johnny and matthew gaudreau’s passing. this is such horrible news and I can’t even fathom the grief and loss that everyone who knew them is feeling right now. I truly hope that their family and friends have the utmost support and love right now. sending love and prayers to everyone affected by this loss 🩷

from @soffsh

Truthfully what is there to say, I knew getting on here would be so utterly painful. Seeing all these black and white pictures of Johnny and Matthew doesn’t seem real. The world has lost an incredible hockey player, father, husband and person in Johnny Gaudreau. I was hoping and praying last night that we wouldn’t be making these posts today, but we weren’t that fortunate. My deepest and sincerest condolences to the family and friends of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau. As well as the whole fan base of not only the Columbus Blue Jackets but the Calgary Flames who have lost a friend and a family member. Johnny and Matthew you will be missed so dearly amongst the hockey community, but not nearly as much as by your family. Rest in Peace, boys.

from @alexandretexiers

Only a few days ago, Kivi would have been 28. Just for another unimaginable tragedy happening only days later, took the lives of Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew. Both brothers were taken from their mother and father, sisters, wives and children. Children who are all under two, with one not even born yet. I’ve been crying most of today, and I can’t even imagine the pain their families are in. One of their sisters was supposed to get married today, with her brothers by her side as groomsmen. And the bastard that killed them doesn’t even feel any remorse. Rest easy, Johnny and Matthew. You both will be dearly missed

from @rumandwhine

Had to take a day before I could even try to articulate any of this; I've never been this genuinely devastated by the loss of a public figure before. I can't express enough of my heartbreak and condolences for the entire Gaudreau family, I can't even imagine their loss and I won't insult their grief by trying. All I can do is thank them for letting us, the fans, get to know their amazing son, brother, husband, father for a while - it was truly a joy to watch and root for him. And to everyone else - the other fans in mourning or shock or whatever indescribable emotion you're feeling right now - all I can do is remind you that time is precious. Hug your parents, call your siblings, tell your partner you love them. I've already gotten years more than Johnny and Matthew will ever have; I intend to try and make the rest of the ones I'm allowed to mean more then the ones before them. I think that's the only way any of us can really honor their lives. Stay safe. And take care of yourselves.

from @wannabehockeygf

I wish I had all the words, but I don’t. They were so incredibly loved, and so young. My heart goes out to their family and friends. RIP Johnny Hockey & Matthew Gaudreau. Life is so fucking precious.

from @sweetestdesire

The Columbus Blue Jackets have unfortunately lost a few too many, and my heart is aching so bad for Johnny Gaudreau and his family. I can’t even begin to imagine how the team, his wife and children, and his family must be feeling right now. It’s times like this when we realize just how precious life really is. A life that touches others goes on forever. May Johnny and his brother, Matthew rest in peace.

from anonymous

this whole situation is so incredibly devastating. i’ll always remember johnny being afraid of both the CBJ cannon and the penguins at the calgary zoo 😔. while everyone should mourn and grieve as they do, please take the time to remember the happy moments and wonderful memories! seeing the outpour of love from brings me comfort and i can only wish the same for the gaudreau family.

from @bitchinbarzal

Dogs loved him, penguins startled him He was an amazing guy! I met him in Ohio, nicest guy - he deserves to be remembered that way 💙

from @mikkomacko

The first hockey jersey I ever bought was a #13 flames jersey I didn’t grow up in a hockey state, don’t have any friends or family that watch or follow the sport. Every time I asked for a jersey on a holiday or birthday I never got one. No one here knew what to get, where to look for one. I found the jersey for resale and used scholarship money my freshman year of college to buy it. I’m an Avs fan. I went to school in Colorado. But Johnny was one of the first players I ever saw on the tv and I liked his name and number. And I loved how he carried himself on and off the ice. I loved his love for the game and the way he played it. No matter the team, the number, the jersey, whatever I always wanted him to win. Today has been tough for so many and while it’s heartbreaking it’s so heartwarming to see how many players, fans, athletes, and people in general loved and cheered for not just Johnny but his brother too. Sending healing thoughts to his friends, family, and teammates. And to everyone else that was a fan of him like me.

from @strangelymint

I didn't watch much hockey growing up, I've only really started to consistently watch it and keep up with it since the playoffs of the 2021-2022 nhl season. However, the few times I did watch it growing up and starting to keep up with hockey, I remember watching Johnny Gaudreau so well. He was one of the players that made hockey and the Flames so fun, and he had such a huge positive impact on Calgary that I felt even before I watched those playoffs. I wish I got to watch him play more. Rest in peace to Matthew and Johnny Gaudreau and my heart goes out to their family and friends.

from @richards-mike

30/08 - dear johnny hockey, everyone knew your name. i knew it as well. it's difficult to put everything that i'm feeling into words & you kept being in my mind since i opened instagram at work today and that the first post that i saw was the devastating news that you passed away in some deeply disturbing and disgusting circumstances. you were the kind of player that was unique. you had a great talent on the ice, there is no doubt about it, but most importantly a you had the biggest and greatest heart of gold out there. you were the kind of player that everyone could cheer for and that we could admire in silent. you were our ✨special little guy✨ hockey was part of it. but the human part was the most important as well. we never know how much we can lose before we do. your remind us all today that life is fragile. but you reminded me that the world is still a good place. that people still can come together to remember the impact that a simple human can have when they choose kindness. you may be gone today, johnny but you will never be forgotten <13

from @annieqattheperipheral

(paraphrased) I keep getting waves of omg he's really gone. Like really really. We know there are going to be a lot of pregame tributes but like how you gonna do that and then expect anyone to do their jobs after without the entire arena from fans to teams to staff erupting in tears, times 32 rinks across the continent and probably flames and cbj's ahl teams and other teams too. agh. Grieving is so much. I'm glad we have our supports here with each other. Whenever i need to let something out i might post here (always tagging so you can step away, filter if you ever need to knowing what you can or can't handle that day). And so when johnny and matty's spouses each posted about their husbands this weekend.. i was amazed. And happy. I mean as i could be. Because it meant that they were being taken care of, they were supported so well they had no inclination of going inward and isolating. (I mean i withdrew so hard after i hit so many blocks with my family. I didn't post until a month later, informing so many ppl in my life.) Instead the gaudreaus were so open and sharing and that filled me with so much awe of the love and care within their family. Johnny and matty were so . well . loved. Matthew Tkachuk is one of the few players i keep notif on for and he was the one i learned the news from and every time he posts he proves yet again how incredible his family is, that he is being taken care of as well. That's a guy who has let us into his grief and i can't thank him and other players posting enough, that it's not radio silence. That we're sharing in this pain. Incredibly grateful.

from Matthew Tkachuck

Absolutely devastated. I will miss seeing that smile! RIP Hockey! love you bro 💔

from Rasmus Andersson

Trying to find the right words today is not easy. You were a hell of a hockey player but it's the person Johnny that was always is going to be with me, one of my closest friends, it didn't matter if we hadn't spoken in a day or a week we always knew where we had each other! There hasn't been a dry eye in the Andersson house today we all love you Johnny. Looking back at this picture with a smile and a tear, we were very hungover laughing about this the next morning... To Meredith Noa and Johnny Jr we're always here for you and we love you ❤️ Rest in peace uncle Johnny and Matty 🕊️

from Mikael Backlund

I can't believe it's true... I'm gutted. I'm going to miss you buddy. My thoughts are with the entire Gaudreau family. 💔

from Blake Coleman

It's hard to find the words so I'll keep it short. One of the best guys to be around, always had that big smile on your face and never passed up a good time. A great dad and husband to that beautiful family of yours. You will be missed by so many. Praying for your entire family in this incredibly difficult time. Thanks for the memories Johnny, you won't be forgotten. Rest easy #13

from Elias Lindholm

Completely heartbroken. Gonna miss you my friend. Sending all our love to the Gaudreau family. Rest in peace Johnny and Matthew 🕊️❤️

from Cole Caufield

We all lost an amazing person, both on and off the ice, in last week’s tragedy. My deepest condolences go to the entire Gaudreau family, especially Johnny’s wife and two kids, who I had the pleasure of meeting. Nothing will be able to fill the void in their families and loved ones hearts, but I hope it provides some comfort to know how these two positively impacted the lives of so many. They will truly be missed.  Getting to play with your hero is something that most people only dream of. I was lucky enough to be Johnny’s teammate this past summer and it didn’t take long to realize how great of a person he was. He was the most welcoming, genuine, and funniest guy I have ever met. He was someone everyone gravitated towards and I took every chance I could to be around him. Not only was he an amazing hockey player and teammate, but he was down to earth and truly cared about every person he encountered. The last few years playing as #22 have been some of the best years of my life. It truly has been a dream come true and I will forever hold those memories and that number close to me. I wore #13 at a point in my career because of Johnny and now I will be wearing it again to honor him. He paved the way for smaller players and proved we had a future in this game at the highest level. I will forever be grateful to him for inspiring me and others.  Rest in Peace, Johnny hockey.

from Boone Jenner

I'm absolutely heartbroken to be posting this but John deserves to be honoured, today and always. Take the hockey out of Johnny. You have one of the best friends, teammates, sons, brothers, husbands, and above all, fathers out there. It's impossible to put into words how much we will miss you man. I'll miss the backdoor tap ins, our battles at the card table, our gold matches, but most of all I'll miss you wearing black dress shoes with shorts on every Florida trip. Our thoughts and prayers are with eh Gaudreau and Morris family and everyone affected by this unimaginable tragedy and loss. I love you buddy. May Johnny and Matthew rest in peace.

from Jarome Iginla

While I never had the privilege to play with Johnny, the times we met or played together, I could feel how special he was. Johnny hockey made our sport better in many special ways. My family and I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have spent time with Wim, and we will always be his fans. With broken hearts, we pray for the Gaudreau family and friends during this devastating time.

from Lanny MacDonald

You were magic, Johnny Hockey

I was in the 'Dome the night he scored in overtime to send the Flames to the second round of the playoffs in 2022. I swear the foundation of that old building was shaking, the eruption from the crowd was so violently joyous. It was the outpouring of love, awe, and gratitude for our fiery hero...watching the passion and fervour Johnny Hockey played with felt electric. There are no words that can match the tragedy of what has happened. Waking up to the news of Johnny and Matthew's passing hit my family like a ton of bricks, not only for their senseless deaths, but the gripping heartbreak for their loved ones who face the unimaginable. Let the hockey world rally around the Gaudreaus, their families and friends, and although we can't even start to understand the depth of their shock and pain, I hope they are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support. Go easy on those legends up there in heaven's hockey rink, boys. You're getting there earlier than expected, but they'll take good care of you. Godspeed Johnny and Matthew, Godspeed ❤️

from Jaromir Jagr

I honestly never thought I'd write a text like this to a post. Yea that goal was my last NHL goal. Yes, that's a pretty nice goal. Yes, it was a beautiful pass above all. Unfortunately, life can sometimes be incredibly cruel. Thank you Johnny for being there and giving hope to all the guys with your incredible performances, that though they are not the biggest and toughest, they can succeed at the NHL world class just like you did. My condolences to the whole family. R.I.P to you and your brother

from Wayne Gretzky

Janet, myself and our entire family are devastated as this senseless tragedy. We are sending our love, thoughts, and prayers to the Gaudreau family. We lost two young men who were loved and a huge presence both on and off the ice. Johnny and Matthew, you will always be remembered and missed.

[chris-prank]

Can I ask for headcanons for atlas? Preferably how he would ask if his s/o or darling had someone trying to date them/hook up with them. Please I really need some possessive stuff it's what feeds me

This is the first ask I received about Atlas! I'm so happyyyyyyy 😆😆

And if you like possessive stuff, I can already tell you that Atlas will be even more unhinged and possessive in the second part of his main story.

(This is a work of fiction for entertainment purposes only, I do not support yandere behaviors in real life)

Despite being a yandere, Atlas doesn’t completely understand that what he is doing is wrong, but he is aware that certain actions could be perceived as bad on your part. All he wants is for you to value him just as much as he values you. That’s why he wouldn’t be violently possessive in front of you, he’ll be more calculated and subtle about it. 

First thing first, he will try to find any dirt he can on that person. Atlas will use his face recognition program to identify them. That way he can know if they have any criminal records, check their social media to see if they already have a partner, etc. He will inform you of any of his findings on the pretense of caring for your security, which is true in his mind.  

If that person has a clean record, as far as he can see, he still has all their personal information at his disposal. Consequently he can threaten them with their work address, home address or their family members name. 

While you’re in front of the flirt, Atlas would try to get your attention back by butting into the conversation non stop or by acting like a timid puppy. He knows that giving you big sad eyes is the best way to have you all over him.

In addition, the android would stare at them without blinking to make them uncomfortable enough to leave you alone. 

 Altas would also try to make the stranger angry in ways that you wouldn’t notice. His goal is to make them yell or be rude to him for no apparent reason so they would look bad. 

If none of that works he will temper with your phone so that you don’t receive calls and texts from these people, in the hopes that you’ll forget about them. He can even delete their number from your contacts before you have the chance to call them back, because he knows that most humans can’t remember a phone number by heart. 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

Atlas was proud with the little assortment of dishes he had chosen for you. He had never been to a Chinese buffet before, not that he didn’t know what it was, it’s just that his last owners were too much of rich pricks to go to places like these. You were the one who had the idea of making each other's plate for the first round. Despite him not needing to eat, you had insisted that he at least tasted the food, since all androids did have the capacity for cooking purposes. He knows that his last masters would have never considered making him eat, let alone sharing their food with him. After giving it more thought, he was glad he got to have his first time in a restaurant like this with you. 

As he was making his way back to you, he saw that you were chatting with a random guy. He noticed that his body language was atypical, he was leaning in on you and his shoulder was scarily close to yours. All the alarms went off in his system as he quickly realized what was happening. This man was flirting with you. His hands unconsciously tightened around the plate and cup he was holding, threatening to break them. In a millisecond, he had successfully composed himself though and had planned his next move. He continued to make his way towards you and the nuisance, calculating his trajectory with precision. He just needed to synchronize his last step with these guys' movements to… Splash! The drink and the meal, he had meticulously picked out for you, were spilled all over him and the man’s clothes. 

“What the—“ The stranger turned around to face Atlas, gritting his teeth. 

“I am sorry sir.” 

He looked at him up and down, noticing that he was an android. 

“Check where you’re going next time you fucking dysfunctional piece of junk!”

“Hey don’t talk to him like that!” You protested immediately.  

“Don’t tell me you brought that thing here?!” 

“I did and I think it’s time for you to go.” 

The guy rolled his eyes and proceeded to hit Atlas’s arm as he left, making the android take a step back. Not to mention how he grumbled about how you were not even that good looking anyway. Atlas, on the other hand, didn’t move. He was only staring at you. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” You whispered, trying to comfort him, even though you knew he surely wasn’t affected that much. 

“I’m sorry about your food.” 

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh of disbelief. “You’re worried about that?”

His green eyes went to the floor as he stayed silent, so you didn’t tease him further. You guided him to your table and sat him down. You asked an employee if you could borrow a wet towel and notify them of the mess Atlas had accidentally made in the buffet area. Luckily not a lot of food had ended up on him and his jacket was the easiest part to clean up. As you tried to rub the sauce off the jacket, you felt a slight tug on your right arm, you looked down and saw Atlas’s hand was holding on to your sleeve. His head was hanging low just like earlier. 

“Am I still enough for you?” 

“What do you— Oh!” Your eyes widened, “of course you’re enough! Me meeting other people doesn’t change how I feel about you, ok? You’re irreplaceable.” You winked all the while playfully nudging him. 

The android nodded in response, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

***

Atlas was waiting outside the restaurant for you to finish with private business. The sun had already set for a while, making him stand out from the crowd with his piercing green eyes. The android was not only waiting for you to come out but also for him. Atlas had in fact paid close attention to the number of persons remaining in the restaurant before leaving. He at least hoped that the nuisance would appear before you did. 

Like on cue, the long awaited man walked out the Chinese buffet. The android didn't waste a single second and grabbed the guy’s arm. He was so imposing that his fingers couldn't reach the other, but it didn’t matter. Before he could complain, Atlas looked him straight in the eyes and said in his usual flat tone.

“Your name is Emile Hugues, you work as a mechanic at the garage Extra Miles, which is ten minutes by car from your apartment—” 

“H-how do you know all that?!” The words seemed to crawl out of his throat, his face contorting in pure terror. 

Emile tried to pull away and was horrified when Atlas didn’t budge one bit. Not even one hour ago, he made the android stumble back with a simple knock on his shoulder. If the android heard him now he didn’t show any sign of it and continued on. 

“Don’t ever try to contact them again, I can assure you I’ll know if you do.” Only then, did Atlas release the man from his deadly grip, letting him scramble away in fear. 

･*:.｡..｡.:*･*:.｡..｡.:*･

Sorry if it took a bit of time for me to answer, I do this in my free time after all and sometimes I just don’t feel the spark of inspiration. BUT I really appreciate every ask you guys send me and I always want to craft the best answer possible. 

[evagaetinosgirl]

all this lauren james discourse is making me not only angry, but also very much sad. imagine being a young black girl who looks up to lauren james, going on social media to obsess over her because young fans do that, and seeing all this racism in comment sections about her. not only a young black girl but imagine being a black girl in soccer seeing a black player who's making such a impact receive so much hate online that's just pure racism. how do you think she's going to feel? women's soccer is becoming bigger, more and more young girls are able to see women soccer players be respected and held in high regard. do all these great things... but only if they're white little girls. for black little girls they see their favorite black players being harassed and racially abused online over something that happens in a game.

y'all love to use black bodies as entertainment and for profit. y'all love black athletes when they win games for you, but when they make a mistake or slightly out act suddenly all the racism in this fandom pops out. i don't even think some of y'all see black players as human with the way a lot of woso fans talk about them. yes, lauren james sometimes act out of frustration and step on someone's foot, obviously that isn't right but she doesn't deserve racism 😐 in the most recent situation with lauren where it LOOKS like she had millie in a headlock was so bothersome to see and then for millie to turn around & like a comment & reply to that comment about the headlock is insane. THEN for some other engwnt players to comment or like that post? if i was lauren, i would be angry. they probably liked that post not even thinking about it but that's what so frustrating. these white players can go through this space not worrying racism. it's a privilege to just casually do something like that and not realize what could happen after. the fact jess carter who is black liked that post too / commented on it is ridiculous.

there are so many players who are more aggressive than lauren by far or act out way more than lauren. not just katie mccabe but there's players like lindsey horan who i have literally watch videos of her acting out on the pitch after an opponent does something to her.

some of you woso fans just want black players for entertainment but forget the person behind it. you want them to win you games and take your teams to great heights but treat them like shit. black women are dominating women's soccer right now. be thankful to lauren james because half of those chelsea/engwnt goals wouldn't exist without her. be thankful to trinity rodman for being a force on the field. be thankful to jaedyn shaw who's been scoring in nearly every game she starts for the uswnt. be thankful to khiara keating who is a brick wall at just nineteen. be thankful to bunny shaw who is a top scorer for man city. there are so many other black players i can list which just shows much impact they have on this sport. stop treating black players like shit because these teams y'all love so much wouldn't be anything without them.

[unreliablesnake]

I want you, but… [Ghost x reader (platonic)]

Summary: Ghost doesn’t like to see you date someone else. But when he has the chance to get what he wants, his common sense wins.

Note: We’re all sad bitches in this house (that’s me, I’m the sad bitch) so no happy ending. Ghost, I love you, but you’re an idiot. / If you want to know when I post new stuff, follow @unreliablesnakefics and hit the get notifications button.

Part 2

Ghost usually isn’t the jealous type, but with you it takes very little to lose his cool. You’ve never been together, he knew he had no right to be mad at guys who flirted with you, he had no right to be angry with you for letting them, but it still happened sometimes.

One of the new doctors at base who treated your wound was really nice to you. Ghost was there, he volunteered to escort you to sick bay, making sure you didn’t collapse on the way, and when he saw the way the doc was looking at you, the kind, humorous way he was talking to you, he immediately knew what this was all about.

You didn’t seem to mind the attention, in fact you encouraged him by keeping up the playful conversation despite being in pain. Ghost took a hesitant step forward, planning to ask how you were, if he could bring you something, anything that could break the spell you were under, but he changed his mind last minute. He should keep his distance, he had no right to stand in the way.

He had been more irritated lately as he had been before. Johnny’s usual jokes simply went over his head, he didn’t even feel like being around others. You and that doctor got pretty close, pretty fast, and there was nothing he could do to stop this relationship from blooming.

Ghost picked up women for one night only, trying to forget you at least until he was fucking someone else, but all he could think about was you. Your smile, your laugh, your stupid sense of humor. He missed you, especially when you were both back home and there was no way for him to reach you.

All he could do was stalk you on social media. You barely posted photos of yourself, but when he saw a picture of you and–based on the size of the hand–a man clinking glasses at a bar probably, his heart sank. You were happy with someone else, feeling so confident about the relationship that you were ready to share it with your family and friends.

But then he checked the caption. “Sometimes ‘let’s stay friends’ isn’t an empty promise.”

He sat up in bed and reread the sentence. Did this mean you broke up? Hope filled his heart at the thought, even though he wasn’t sure how this could help him. He was your superior, the two of you getting together would cause a scandal for sure. Price wouldn’t be happy, the others might begin to believe he would play favorites with you, so everything pointed in the direction that you could never be together.

A few weeks later you were back on a mission together, and Ghost didn’t really know what to do. He was nervous around you, always carefully thinking about what to say before opening his mouth.

One evening Soap pulled out a bottle of booze from his bag, inviting the core team for a drink to relax a little. That one bottle turned into two, then three, the number growing because you were having fun together and apparently everyone brought something to drink just in case.

“So what’s with you and that doctor?” Gaz asked out of nowhere, almost causing the lieutenant to choke on his drink.

His eyes were glued to you, and your eyes traveled from one person to another until they locked with his amber ones. “It didn’t work out,” you admitted before turning to Gaz again. “Also, he’s going back to a civilian hospital. Less stress, he said. But I’m not sad or anything.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” Soap noted casually as he raised his glass.

Around one in the morning Price told everyone to go to sleep, saying they all needed some rest to sober up. While Price, Soap and Gaz left, you stayed behind with Ghost, your hands folded behind your back as you watched him with an anxious smile. The lieutenant didn’t really know what to say to you, so he decided to remain silent.

Even though he turned his back to you, he could still feel your gaze on him. “What is it?” he asked when he turned around to face you.

You inhaled then exhaled slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. But then you took a hesitant step towards him and said, “Are you happy that I broke up with him?”

“Why would I be happy?”

“You liked the photo I posted weeks ago. You know, the one about let’s stay friends. Also, there’s another thing,” you began, but you stopped talking. Ghost raised an eyebrow, waiting for you to continue. “Peter told me something that made me think. He said you were giving him death glares ever since he first talked to me in your presence after I got hurt on the field.”

Fuck, he had noticed. It’s not like he tried to hide it, but he sure wasn’t expecting the doctor to pay so much attention to him. What was he supposed to say? That yeah, well, I’m sorry, but he wasn’t good enough for you? In the end he let out a long sigh and put a hand on the back of his neck.

“I hope he didn’t break up with you because of that,” he noted quietly.

You raised an eyebrow at this in question. “What makes you think he was the one who broke up with me? Maybe it was me who let him go.”

“Did you?” You nodded. “Why?”

“Maybe there’s a big, scary guy I would rather spend my time with,” you replied with a playful smile.

Ghost wanted to kiss you so badly it hurt, but he kept his urges under control. When he stepped a little closer to you, you did the same, and eventually you closed the gap between you. He reached out to push a stray strand of hair behind your ear, watching as your breath caught in your throat from surprise.

After gulping loudly, you reached out to take his hand. “Was he right? Do you like me, lieutenant?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m your higher-up, it wouldn’t work anyway. Go to sleep,” he told you, even though this was killing him.

He could see the signs. He could pinpoint the exact moment your heart shattered into pieces because of his response. Biting on your lower lip to stop yourself from crying, you nodded and left him standing there, making him hate himself more than ever before.

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter ten:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: mentions of gaining weight, body shaming, mentions of drug use, toxic mom, body issues.

➴ word count: 2.9k

💌 from me to you: i CANNOT stress this enough: please read the story’s warnings before reading this chapter — or any of them, really. this is heavy, i did not hold back. if any of the topics in the warnings make you feel uncomfortable do NOT read! i wrote this chapter with my heart in my hands but unfortunately this is what maddie needs to grow. thank u for reading and be careful ♡

౨ৎ

2024, MAY.

SIGHTING, YOU stared at the clock on your wall, reading the time: three thirty-three in the morning.

Bella snored happily beside you, sleeping like the dead, while you have been awake for more than fifteen hours straight.

It wasn’t like you aren’t tired, no, you are. You had spent a long day on set, taking pictures in crazy locations like in the middle of one of Vancouver’s busiest avenues, and recording enough social media content for the rest of your career— only ideally, because in reality you knew that you’d have to record more the next week.

You kept recalling the things Luke told you two days ago, at Jack’s birthday dinner, and you hated every second of it. For the rest of the weekend you tried to keep the mood light and happy, but you knew Quinn wasn’t dumb and he knew something was up. He asked you a million times if there was anything he could do or if he should go after Luke and tell him to apologize for yelling at you the way he did, but you just smiled and shook your head no.

Quinn couldn’t go after Luke because you knew that if he did, Luke would tell him what really happened, and even if Quinn does like you, there was no way he wouldn’t agree with his little brother’s words.

Because you didn’t need to be a genius to realize that Luke’s right, and you do have issues with accepting love in your life. At the time Luke said it to your face, you were so angry you didn’t realize that it was the sad, unwanted truth.

All these years, you’ve been trying to feel normal, accept what people gave you and move on with it. But it had never crossed your mind that people could tell it was hard for you to accept feelings, good feelings.

You were used to people getting mad at you, you were used to mean comments on Instagram, used to harsh words coming from your parents and used to your brother’s lack of interest in you, because it was easy to understand. You weren’t someone easy to deal with, therefore this was their only way of reaching you.

But good, loving words? How could you explain someone giving you love and asking for nothing back? How could you explain the way Quinn and his parents and brothers treated you, a complete stranger that happened to be their neighbor, but they opened their doors for you nonetheless?

How could you explain the way Quinn took care of you (and Bella), making sure you had a healthy routine, eating healthy meals and sleeping enough? How could you explain the way he helped you shower after a make out session, scrubbing your body with gentle hands, drying your hair and giving you his clothes because he knew you liked them?

You couldn’t explain any of his actions and it scared you to death. How could someone be so kind to a person like you?

Hours later, you stood in your kitchen, looking at another text coming from Quinn.

After he drove you home after you both arrived from Newark, two days ago, you hadn’t seen him. You were thankful for his away games and for your busy schedule, because then he wouldn’t see you like this.

You had thought about giving it a try, and telling Quinn that you wanted to be his, you wanted to be able to call him yours. But after Luke’s words, you realized that you weren't ready for it. And you didn’t want to hurt any of them, like you have been doing unconsciously all this time.

The doorbell rang, making you snap out of it and flinch. You looked around your kitchen, listening to Bella’s loud barks and sighing. You walked to the door, ready to tell whoever it was to go to hell and close the door on their face. But—

“Mom?” the disbelief in your voice could almost be comical, if it wasn’t sad.

Your mom stood in front of your door in all her glory, high heels and slick bun making her look so elegant. She had a frown on her face, as she always did whenever she looked at you. But this time, she wasn’t frowning at you; it was at Bella.

Oh, right, you think, calling Bella’s name, Mom doesn’t like dogs.

Bella promptly listened to you, probably sensing that your mom wasn’t a fan of animals. It was their first time meeting each other and it was already bad.

“Madison,” your mom greets you, getting inside your apartment, holding a giant Givenchy shopping bag. She places it on your coffee table, analyzing your apartment with judgy eyes. “I’m here to see you, since you never invited me over, not even once, since you moved back home.”

Her tone was anything but hurt. She wasn’t aching because you had never invited her over, no. She probably just wanted to make you feel bad, and, well. She succeeded.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, patting Bella’s fluffy head, looking for some kind of support. “It must have slipped my mind.”

She scoffs, sitting on your couch with the mannerisms of a royal. “You were probably too busy with that boyfriend of yours, no?”

“Boyfriend?” you ask, confusion taking over your face. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, please, Madison, we’ve been here before,” she rolls her eyes. “I knew that getting you back in touch with that little family was a bad thing, but your father wanted to invite them that night for dinner, so what could I possibly have done to prevent it?”

“Don’t— don’t talk like that about them,” you plead, trying to sound brave. “And I’m not… I’m not dating Quinn.”

“Madison, people talk. Your name has been mentioned in websites, magazines, social media more times this month than in your entire career. Lord, even more than when you were the cover of Vogue.”

You bite your lip, not sure of what you could say. It wasn’t like you and Quinn hadn’t seen some of the comments talking about you two being a couple, but you could only think of the way he laughed at some of them.

“Okay, okay, listen to this one,” you eagerly say, adjusting your body on top of his lap, his hands holding your waist in place. “‘Quinn, can you fight?’”

Quinn frowns, making you laugh. “They really think they’d win in a fight with me?”

“Well, a girl said this, so I guess you’re in hot waters,” you smile, scrolling down the comment section, looking for more funny comments. “Oh, this one’s pure gold: ‘I had never found Quinn attractive until Madison started fucking him’.”

“Am I supposed to feel flattered?” he smiles, and you shrug.

“I think I’m supposed to feel threatened by this,” you chuckle. “The amount of women calling you hot on my Instagram comment section is alarming.”

“It’s not worse than the men in my comments talking about you,” he kisses your cheek, sounding annoyed. “It’s crazy how we haven’t even posted anything together yet people are quick to assume we’re dating.”

You smile, giving him a peck on the tip of his nose. “Welcome to my world, baby.”

“Madison!”

Your mom’s loud voice brings you back to the present, something you immediately disliked. The memories you kept of your time with Quinn were your happiest ones.

“I’m sorry,” you move around the room, sitting on one of your chairs. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying that I brought you something I want you to wear at the Fashion’s gala next month,” she nods at the bag sitting on your table, making you cringe. “I’m giving a speech, and you have to be there.”

“Will Peter be there as well? Dad?” You ask, opening the bag in front of you.

“Of course they’ll be there, they’re not like you.”

You choose to ignore what she said, not wanting to get mad at her for nothing. If she wanted to compare you to them, like she’d done your entire life, then so be it.

You opened the bag, finding a beautiful black dress inside. It looked expensive, and knowing your mother, you already knew it was. But you had to confess, it was gorgeous.

“It’s beautiful, mom,” you whisper, carefully touching the fabric. “Thank you.”

“I want you to try it on.” She says, crossing her legs.

You chuckle. “Now? It’s only for next month, mom.”

“Now, Madison.” She leaves no room for complaints, and Bella growls softly beside you.

You nod once, looking at Bella and debating whether you should let her alone with your mom or not. In the end, your dog mom instincts spoke louder and you called her to come to the bedroom with you, leaving your mom alone in the living room.

Putting the dress on had been a nightmare, even for you, who were used to wearing all types of clothes. It squeezed your boobs in a hurtful way, and it made it almost impossible for you to breathe.

“What’s taking you so long, Madison?” Your mom yells from the living room, making you sigh, trying to zip the back of the dress by yourself. “Come here!”

You rolled your eyes, tired, and walked out of your bedroom, Bella behind you like a loyal guard. Your mom immediately put her eyes on you, gasping theatrically when she saw how the dress hadn’t zipped all the way in.

“Madison. Why…” she stops herself for a second before speaking again. “Why didn’t you zip it all the way up?”

You shrug, not giving much thought to it. “It doesn’t zip up. You probably got the wrong size or something.”

“Wrong size? Madison, that is your size. You…” she gets up, slowly making her way to you. You instinctively step back, not sure of what to expect of her. “You gained weight.” She says, like you had just confessed to her about murdering several people.

You look down at your own body, her words slowly making their way to your head.

Before you started seeing Quinn, you were obsessed with your weight, and it wasn’t exactly news to anyone. But you always blamed it on your job, because you had to look good twenty-four seven, so worrying about your appearance and eating just the right amount wasn’t anything crazy.

But then, Quinn re entered your life, and suddenly calories weren’t your biggest concern. That voice that lived in your head, annotating everything you ate, was gone for most part of the day.

And you probably got sloppy. Eating pizza for dinner, fast food whenever you or Quinn were too lazy to cook, chocolate bars everyday. And you never thought about it twice, because Quinn made you think about good things, things that weren’t related to your body.

He worshiped your body, even. Every time he got intimate with you, he’d always talk about how pretty, how gorgeous and sweet and beautiful you were. He kissed every inch of your body like he had a job to complete, and it made you feel loved. Cared. Good.

But now, as your mom stared at you and your dress with pure disgust in her face, it was like being woken up from a good dream. It was like going back to the days where she controlled everything you ate and everything you drank, weighing you everyday so she could make sure you weren’t being sloppy behind her back.

“I… I guess I did,” you mumble, wanting to get out of your own house as soon as possible. You wanted to be in Quinn’s warm, safe arms, away from all of these horrible thoughts.

“You guess you did?” Your mom scoffs. “Madison, look at yourself! You are fat!”

“I’m not fat, I’m just healthy,” You try to argue back, fighting the urge to shout. “I’ve been eating three meals a day and snacks, so that was probably it—”

“Three meals a day— are you insane?!” She raises her voice, her eyes staring down at you. “Have you weighed yourself lately?”

“No,” you whisper, feeling embarrassed by something that didn’t even make sense to you anymore.

“That’s why you look the way you look,” she starts walking around the room, hands in her head, looking more distressed than usual. “I can’t believe it. I spent your entire life trying to make sure you’d look good, you’d be perfect, you’d be just like me and look at you! Look at what you did with my work!”

“I’m not some kind of experiment, mom, I’m your daughter!” You shout back, already feeling the tears streaming down your face. “I’m your daughter. And yet you look at me and only see some distorted version of yourself, and I cannot—”

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to me, Madison,” she hisses again, pointing at you. “You’ll never be like me. I take care of myself and of what I love—”

“You don’t love anything, mom!” You yell, letting your tears fall down your face, tired of being in this family. Tired of being you. “I wish I could say you love yourself but you don’t, mom, and you made me just like you. You made me hate myself and hate everything I do, and you’re not even sorry for it!”

“Sorry for it? Madison, I made who you are today. You’re only famous because of me. Stop being ungrateful and start acting like the woman I raised you to be.”

You didn’t raise me, you wanted to tell her, you and dad were never home. You left me alone with thousands of sitters and Peter, who didn’t give a fuck about me.

“I never asked for any of this,” you run your fingers through your hair, fisting it between your fingers, harshly. “I never asked for you to plan my life for me, I never asked to be a model, or famous. All I wanted was you and dad and Peter to love me.”

She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest, the fabric of her expensive dress stretching. “Oh, stop it, Madison, you’re not the little girl you think you are. You’ll not gaslight me and make me think I’m a bad mom.”

You wipe your eyes with your hands. “What’s that even supposed to mean?”

“I’ll do what you want,” she straightens her head again, staring at you like you meant close to nothing to her. “If you want to be free of us so badly, then I’ll do what you want.”

“I never said—”

“You don’t need to talk to me or to your dad again, God, you don’t even have to talk to Peter if you don’t want to,” she grabs her purse from the couch, opening and looking for something. Once she found it, she placed it on the table, giving it a little push until it got closer to you. You eyed the package, not believing what you were seeing. “This is for you. Your dad talked to some people and... I don’t care if you want to be hideous and overweight, that’s on you for bringing shame to our name. But next month’s dinner is my last gala at Fashion before I retire. So I…” she closed her mouth, staring at you for a few seconds. “You need to be there. And this is me giving you a last chance of proving that you can accept my love for you.”

You lifted your head fast, staring at her with wet eyes and red nose.

“Accept… your love?” The word felt weird on your mouth, especially when you were using it in a conversation with your mom.

“Yes, Madison,” she sighs, like this whole encounter is making her exhausted. “My love for you. You think I do all of this just because I have nothing better to do?” She laughs, but you can tell it’s fake. “No, Madison. I do this because I love you, and I don’t want to see you alone and unwanted.”

This was the first time in years that you hear your mom telling you she loves you. Actually, you don’t even remember the last time she had said it, or even if she had said it before.

You didn’t know what to think. All this time, you wondered why you still did what your mom asked you to, even if you’re grown and responsible for yourself. But it all made sense now.

All this time, the only thing you’d wanted was for her to tell you that she loved you.

“No, you— you can’t just say shit like that, Luke. I know what love is.”

“I’m not saying you don’t, M, I’m just saying you don’t know how to accept it!”

“Will you…” you start, grabbing the bottle she left for you on the counter, reading the label, Phentermine. “Will it make you happy if I take these?”

She smiles, reaching out for your trembling hands for the first time in a while, her cold hands making you flinch. “Of course, Madison. And it’s only for a month. When I was your age, your grandma gave me something similar, and look at me! I’m just fine.”

You look at her hands on top of yours, holding the bottle too. Then, you look at her eyes, finally seeing what you had always wanted, something other than disgust and disappointment.

You nod, once and then twice, before taking the bottle with you, and trying to smile.

“Okay,” you whisper. “It’s only for a month, right?”

“It sure is,” she nods. “You’ll make me so proud.”

You smile through your tears, fighting back the need— want— of hugging her, knowing it was off limits.

It’s only for a month, you repeat in your head, countless times.

It’s only for a month.

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎

[sophie-frm-mars]

If you're fairly young and online it can really help you to learn to spot who is dealing with their feelings well and who isn't. Now, obviously a lot of people in marginalized classes experience a lot of negative feelings when talking about how the world is, and that's okay, so I'm not saying just ignore anyone online who's having a rough time. On the other hand, people who make an identity out of being angry, or sad or "being a bitch"/"being a dick"/not caring about the feelings of others really aren't processing their feelings well. You'll often see these same people claim to be completely unaffected by things that are quite clearly massively dysregulating to them, and if they were having a more normal time being online they would probably say "yeah, this making me feel [feeling]" and either log off to go process that or move through it more honestly

I think you can save yourself a lot of time that you might spend arguing with someone who cannot hear you and doesn't see your inner reality because they're too upset if you can recognize when what someone is saying comes from failing to deal with their own feelings

There will also be times when people who are like this decide to make it your problem. Unfortunately social media sometimes rewards unhealthy coping mechanisms. People find themselves with big audiences or communities of similarly dysregulated people who aren't very well and then they just want to find someone it's okay to bully, because it makes them feel better, and it won't make them feel better if their bullying has no effect, so they pick on people they feel like they can reach instead of people truly deserving of ire, fascists and finance perverts and so on

The best thing you can do is make sure that your life offline is as fulfilling as possible, or if you are still in a place in life where online is a really important support system for you, then make sure it's separate from these people. Hang out in a discord call with your friends, play some games, swap movie recommendations, tell them about a blog you found recently, listen to their problems for a bit. Or go for a walk, listen to the birds, learn to tell apart the bird songs, find a place where you like being alone that isn't in your house

Negative emotions are united by the fact that we don't want to be seen when we're experiencing them. We want others to think of us as happy, excited, passionate, curious, and not as sad, angry, ashamed, scared. This makes us sometimes lie to ourselves when we're experiencing those feelings, dissociating from our emotional reality and seeking a release while making up justifications for why what we're doing is normal and rational and achieves some greater goal. If you see someone who is clearly very upset but claiming to be cool as a cucumber, they're simply not your problem, go to a different page

[ladypiscesmoon]

Update Armie Hammer/Timothée Chalamet

I had a lot of asks about Armie unfollowing Timmy on social media. I came back from visiting friends and felt really restless, so I took my cards as soon as I got home. The reading is done on 9 December (circa 18.00, my local time)

To get a general feeling for where they stood when I was doing the reading I pulled cards from the angel number oracle deck:

Armie: 999: Release

balance

finances

success wealth

cycles

what goes around comes around

Both: 0505: Unexpected shift

divine intervention

sudden challenges

love

pleasant surprises

gut feeling

Timmy: 2222: Feminine Forces

relationships

balance

prosperity

efficiency

patience

humility

It's clear to me that by doing something like this Armie wanted to force Timmy to take a stand. To choose Armie, to not being a coward and hiding behind work or other bullshit. In other aspects of Armie's life but love, he feels in control. He wants a new start with Timmy too, but if Timmy is leaving him hanging he wants to let him go.

Timmy has to listen to what Armie tells him with this message, because Armie means it. Together they would be really strong and it would learn Timmy to find a better balance between (personal) relationships and work. He tends to emerge himself in his work, trying to forget things he find difficult to deal with. He feels humiliated and very, very hurt at the moment.

This is the universe trying again to nudge them together, because that's what should happen, but Timmy is the one delaying it. This is like a wake-up call for Tim.

Why did Armie unfollow Tim?

The wellness oracle:

the runner

ascending

healthy choices

the sword and rose

(this card fell out) not today

This was a sign Armie is done waiting, because he thinks he has given Timmy enough time to get rid of the pr and Kylie. He thinks that Timmy doesn't prioritize him, that he chooses a lot of other things instead of focusing on the relationship they try to build. He's sad and still angry. Probably seeing Timmy everywhere is also too much for him at the moment. he wants to make healthy choices for himself and thinks this could be one

How does Timmy feel about Armie unfollowing him?

abundance

casette

heartbroken

addiction

love call

love

Timmy thought that Armie understood that he didn't have time at the moment to do much about the Karjenners, he has done as much as he could to resist (like not giving in with Thanksgiving and refusing her at the Gotham awards), he thought Armie saw that as a good thing. So he didn't pick up it wasn't enough. Besides he did what he always does: work way too hard and doing it back to back, like filming and doing promo for ACU. So I guess Armie feels like Tim is not giving the attention he wants to have.

Timmy feels really anxious, he's scared he has lost Armie for real this time. he's sad and feeling alone. I heard a few times Why now? What have I done this time? What did I do wrong? So I think Armie's action has taken him completely by surprise. He has to take action, not moping around or overindulge himself. He's also feeling really tired, so he's too much in his head, dwelling in the past, where he should jump up and go get his man...

Light and shadow Tarot:

Armie: 4 of cups/king of cups/ the emperor

Armie feels it will be easier for him to let Timmy go, but it's not easy at all for him, because at the same time his heart wants to reach out to Timmy and begin their life together

Timmy: the magician/the world/8 of swords

It's not the first time Timmy is manifesting Armie in his life, and I think he just had to have this wake-up call.

Blocks to love:

Armie:

feeling incomplete

low self esteem

control issues

I think that Armie is insecure and feeling as if Timmy thinks he's not worth it. Armie likes to have control over things, probably because it took him a long time to get there, because other people took over many aspects in his life. He's impatient, he doesn't want to wait anymore. He wants love and be loved.

Timmy:

insecurities

dwelling in the past

codependency

Timmy is trying to please everyone, he feels insecure about what to do in relationships, doesn't listen to his heart. If he would, and if he did communicate better, this issue of the unfollowing wouldn't have come up.

Hermit tarot:

Armie:

I am addicted to you

i am absolute in love with you

i am obsessed with your body

i am terrified

This sums up how complicated Armie's feelings are. He wants to build something with Timmy, he's absolute in love with him, but he draws a line in the sand. Actually it's one big message to Tim: Please, choose me.

Timmy:

you make my heart full

let me hold you

you know already

yes

I hope you'll wait for me

Again, it's not the love/ being in love part that is the issue here. He just didn't think about the effect the waiting part had on Armie.

That concludes this reading. They were heading in the right direction and Tim should really take this seriously. But, yeah these two have a hard time staying away from each other. I don't think we will see together this year, though.

*As ever: this reading is alleged/for entertainment purposes only. *

[ozzy-boy]

Hii! Volks, Scale and Cole's reaction (separately) if someone calls their s/o ugly?

Volks:

-Volks doesn't do social media. He doesn't have any and he doesn't look at it either.

-He finds the whole thing kind of ridiculous anyway- why would you care what strangers online have to say? You show him cute videos of dogs sometimes though, so he figures it can't all be bad.

-When Volks notices that you're a little downtrodden, he doesn't suspect that social media would be the cause.

-You brush him off and say that it's stupid when he asks what's wrong, which immediately rubs him the wrong way.

-He's your boyfriend- he doesn't care if it's stupid, if something is bothering you, he wants to know.

-If you keep trying to avoid it he'll end up putting his forehead against yours and staring into your eyes until you say it.

-You eventually give in and admit that someone called you ugly under one of the new pictures you posted.

-Normally Volks would probably agree that it's stupid to be upset over a stranger's opinion, but that kind of thing doesn't bother him. You're more sensitive than he is though. (unbothered king)

-He assures you it isn't true and is extra sweet for a while to make you feel better. He also goes on your phone later and deletes any comments that aren't compliments (even if it takes him a while to figure out how bc he's an old man with technology 💀)

Scale:

-Scale isn't huge on social media either, but he makes accounts so he can like your posts and so you can send him things.

-Honestly if he didn't have the whole 'assassin secret identity' thing going on, he'd probably post stuff about his workout routine. He's fine just sending those videos to you, though ;)

-He likes to go to your insta and look at your pictures when he's having a rough day with training, just as a little pick-me-up.

-Though, today he notices a comment under your most recent post.

-Immediately confused. ("Huh?")

-Refreshing the page constantly, as if expecting it to be a mistake. ("Who?")

-You? Ugly??? ("What?????")

-Genuinely dumbfounded. He's never heard something so ridiculous in his life.

-You're equally confused a few hours later when you log on and see your boyfriend getting in an online slapfight with a random person under your post.

-It's very endearing that Scale is so willing to go to bat and defend you but you're gonna have to give him a lesson in online safety and teach him how to block people that make him angry and move on -_-

Cole:

-Cole is your number 1 fan he has all your accounts on notification. He is your first like on every post.

-He kind of hates that your pictures are online for anyone to see but he deals with it. He has his own collection of pictures to admire but he often refreshes your pages to see what you're up to.

-While you're out together one day you decide to take a quick photo and post it since you're feeling cute.

-It's not until a while later that Cole watches you check your phone, only for a sad look to pass over your features. He quickly investigates, and finds a bubbling anger rising in his chest when he finds that someone's insulted you.

-'I have to kill this guy right fucking now-'

-'No, no, calm down Cole. You need to keep your cool in front of Marshmallow.'

-'Wait a second, they look sad. I'm going to kill-'

-Cole does a few deep breathing exercises, gets his head on straight and repeatedly tells himself that he can't run off to track down an internet stranger while you're sad.

-"My darling, have I told you how wonderful you look today...?"

-He spends the next several hours spoiling and complimenting as much as you'll allow.

-After all, you need no one else but him.

[drewsbuzzcut]

I Can See You

nico hischier x hughes!reader

warnings: slight slight angst, alcohol consumption, and I think that’s all

Coming to New Jersey to visit Luke and Jack is starting to feel like a big mistake that’s about to blow up in your face.

Nico just has to be with them when you arrived at their apartment.

Nico just has to join the three of you for dinner.

Nico just has to join the three of you at a small bar that Jack likes.

Throughout the entire day you can feel his eyes on you, the goosebumps on your skin is proof. There was one point he tried to get you alone to talk, but you escaped into Luke’s room.

You’re angry. Plain and simple.

He made it seem like he had feelings for you. It’s not like he doesn’t have your number or your social media profiles. He just decided to leave you high and dry. You’d like at least an explanation or an apology.

You down your third drink of the night when you feel his body sidle next to yours. His cologne makes you dizzy in the best way possible, but it makes you angrier.

“Can I get a beer?” He asks the bartender, slowly turning towards you on the barstool.

“Y/n?” You can hear the caution laced in his words.

He reaches for your hand that’s resting on the bar top, you pull it away before he can grasp it.

“Leave me alone, Nico,” you say his name, no “cap” or “captain” that he loves so much.

“Please talk to me, y/n,” he begs. Desperation washing over his face. You think you see sadness in his eyes.

“Oh, so now you want to talk. You’ve had months to talk to me. A call or even a simple text would’ve sufficed,” you spit out, removing yourself from the barstool.

Nico follows you, reaching out to grab your hand to turn you towards him.

“Tell my brothers I have to leave,” you say, ripping your hand away.

“Let me take you home,” he suggests.

“No. I don’t want anything from you anymore. Leave me alone, Nico,” you finish, walking away and out the door.

You’re sitting on a curb outside when you hear the door opening, with everything in your body you know it’s Nico.

“Please let me explain myself. You can hate me all you want, but please let me explain,” he sits next to you, feeling hopeful when you don’t move away.

“We should talk somewhere private,” you whisper, berating yourself for giving in so easily, but you’d do almost anything for Nico.

Nico agrees and you and him take an Uber to his apartment. The ride is tense and quiet, but you can still feel his eyes watching you. The ride in the elevator is even more tense, the space tight and suffocating. You can feel a gravitational pull working overtime to pull you into each other’s arms. When you catch his eyes, you send him a glare in return. He can’t know that you’re starting to let your walls come down.

As soon as he lets you in through the door, he’s talking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you at all for so long.”

“I just want to know why.”

“You’re younger than me,” he says but you scoff at his lie.

“3 years is nothing,” you retort.

“It’s a lot when things get complicated. I’m not always around as you know, and the age gap will just further complicate things. We’re at different places in our lives.”

“That’s such bullshit. I know what it’s like with all the travel! Three! Three of my brothers are hockey players in case you forgot,” you point out.

He huffs and stays quiet which frustrates you to no end.

“You know what? Why’d you even want to talk to me if you’re not even going to bother being honest?” Your anger starts to boil.

“You’re Jack’s little sister. You’re also Luke’s sister, and I’m their captain. It’s like mixing business with pleasure. At the end of the day, you’re younger than me and my teammates’ sister,” he finally explains.

“Okay? Is there some written rule stating that you can’t date a teammate’s sister?” You’re livid.

“Well, no, but it’s implied,” he mutters, fidgeting with his fingers, something you noticed he does when he’s nervous.

“So screw me and my feelings, right? You just kissed me for the hell of it, then? I’m just someone’s sister and you’re just untouchable. I hate you,” you blurt out, your tears surfacing and heart dying little by little.

“No, please! You don’t understand,” he reaches out for you, holding your hands in his.

“I understand you loud and clear.”

“I want you, more than you know. I just don’t want things to become weird between me and your brothers. I also really happen to enjoy our friendship. I don’t want to somehow ruin things even though I already have,” he admits.

You have to stop yourself from leaping into his arms and attacking him with kisses. You need to be in his arms.

“Why not tell me that earlier?” You ask, trying to mask your tone with annoyance, but you can deny that you have the biggest soft spot for him.

“I didn’t want to pull you away from your life. You deserve someone who’s always there. I won’t always be there for you,” he says sadly and you can feel your heart crack at his admittance. You want so badly to reassure that he’d be the perfect boyfriend, but in reality you don’t know him as a boyfriend. Maybe he’s trying to shield you from himself when intimacy starts to take over.

At this time you realize your hands are still connected, so you pull them away and watch his face fall.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” he adds.

You card your fingers through your hair and take a deep breath. You look down and around, anywhere except his eyes. You know he’s sincere. You can tell by his watery eyes and the crease in his eyebrows. You feel the lump in your throat just thinking about him being sad. You also think about why he thinks of himself so poorly. Maybe this is happening for a reason. Maybe you should be nothing more than a kiss, but when you think about Nico, you know in your heart that you want to feel everything with him.

“I accept your apology, but it’s too late Nico. I would’ve loved to hear you say what you just did months ago. Now, I have a boyfriend back in New York,” it kills you to say, but you want him to feel that empty feeling that you felt for the past 7 months. It may be a bit immature of you, but you needed to see what his reaction would be.

“Oh… that’s… yeah, that’s stupid of me to think everything would be just fine after all this time. Good for you, though. You deserve happiness and I hope he treats you better,” he says through voice cracks.

“Um… I’ll take you back to your brother’s,” he finishes, walking past you towards the front door.

“Cap,” you whisper, reaching out for his bicep to stop him from walking out the door. Any thought you have in your head gets washed away by the one thought that resides in your heart. You want him and you are willing to take your chances.

He turns back to you, about to ask what’s wrong when you place your lips on his. You bring him into your body with your arms wrapped around his neck. He can’t help but let his hands fall to your hips.

“What about your boyfriend?”

You snicker, hiding your face in his neck.

“I may have lied about having a boyfriend. I just wanted to keep you on your toes,” you admit shyly.

Nico sighs in relief, leaning back in for another kiss. You giggle into the kiss, very pleased with his reaction. You card your fingers through his hair, making his hands fist the material of your blouse.

“How are we going to do this?” He breaks away, finally taking a breath.

“We’ll figure it out.”

“We can’t tell them, not right now at least,” he hesitantly whispers, afraid to break the moment.

You falter for a second, thinking about how telling your brothers can possibly ruin things, so you agree with him.

“Okay, captain. It’s our little secret,” you say simply, but it’s anything but simple.

He caresses your cheek and you know he is starting to figure out his way through the cracks of your tough exterior.

“I should probably get back to the apartment. Take me home?” You ask, kissing his lips chastely.

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

Take me to your heart.

a/n: So, I forgot that I was supposed to post this piece before the one I recently posted, but here it is! Enjoy!

[gay-wh0re-slut]

Thank you so much for doing my angst request! It was so good!Can I request a new one? I’m in a mood for angst lately, but with smutty ending lol

Reader and Rhea have broke up a while ago, but Rhea is taking it harder than she thought she would. She hears that reader is going on dates (which is actually just to kill time and as an effort to move on, but Rhea doesn’t know that). She feels angry and jealous that she’s replaced so fast and confronts reader about it. During the argument things are getting heated and “somehow” they resolve the misunderstanding horizontally 😅

i’m so glad you liked it! I’m hoping it was the one with the prompt bc that one was fun to write. thank you for making another request!

after writing: it’s a bit more sad than angry bc i lowkey went thru this a while ago lmaooo so sorry bout that but i hope you like it hahahahahaoops and they’re not really horizontal but it’s still hot lmaoo

Over

rhea x fem reader

content: angst-ish with sad rhea, smutttttt, oral sexxxx, fingeringggg, hot buff goth woman kissing youuu ooooooo

It’s been two months since you and Rhea have broken up. The first month was hard on you but the second month you wanted to get your mind off of it so you decided to download all the dating apps you could think of. You’ve been on a few first dates and a few second dates but none have lived up to your expectations.

It has been really hard on the wrestler though. She claimed that she did it because she was getting so busy that she felt it wasn’t fair to you that she wasn’t able to be around as much as she wanted. So she decided to end things, unfortunately for her, she didn’t realize how much she relied on you to get away from all the buzz.

You haven’t spoken or texted Rhea for three weeks and it was hurting you, but she was the one to end things so why should I try? you thought. You and her had mutual friends that you would hang out with sometimes and they would try to tell you updates on her but you didn’t want to hear them.

“She really misses you,” they would say.

“Then she shouldn’t have left me,” said the anger stage of grief.

Part of you knew that the friends were telling her that you were going on dates and how you were doing but you didn’t care. You wanted to seem like the ‘bigger person’ and make it seem like you moved on.

One night, you had been chatting with a girl on one of the many dating apps and things were going suspiciously well so you set up a date for the next day, just to see. It was at a local coffee shop because you wanted it to be in public in case something went wrong.

You wore a long maroon, but sort of tight dress that showed off your curves just right, some light makeup, and your hair natural; you didn’t want to try too hard. The time came and you headed to the shop, ordered coffee and sat down at a small table in the corner.

People came and went and you were there for about twenty minutes, checking your phone and scrolling through social media. Because you were waiting for quite a while, you didn’t want to come off as someone who got stood up, so you decided to text her.

“You still coming?”

“Sorry, something came up, maybe another day?”

Of course. This wasn’t the first time this happened and it sure wouldn’t be the last.

“All good,” was the only thing you said. You didn’t like putting effort into something that wasn’t going to go anywhere. If they wasted your time, then they don’t care about you, your friend would say, but something seemed off.

You brushed it off, drank your coffee and enjoyed your time alone, it was nice. You rarely went out by yourself, so it was good for a change.

You finally finished your latte, so you head back home. To your surprise, there was a familiar black truck in your driveway.

“No fucking way,” you growl as you park the car. You sit for a few minutes contemplating going somewhere else in town, maybe a movie or something long enough to where she would leave on her own, but you decided against it. “If she wants to talk then let’s talk.”

You slammed the car door and stomped inside to her helping herself to a glass of water.

“Sorry to show up out of the blue,” the australian admitted.

“No you’re not,” you threw your keys down on the counter.

“Excuse me?”

“Obviously you have something to say that you couldn’t call or text about so…” you crossed your arms keeping your distance.

She was silent but you could tell she was trying not to go off.

“So?” you push.

“You’ve been going on dates,” she finally said.

“Yeah and? Why does it matter? You broke up with me,” the lump in your throat began to form, you were never good with confrontation but you swallowed it down.

“It’s only been two months!” she barked as she threw her hands up.

“People grieve differently!”

“You’re not grieving, you’re trying to get back at me.”

“I’m not. I’m trying to move on,” you glare.

“Moving on means seeing other people after two months?” She walked to the kitchen table and leaned on the back of one of the chairs, gripping it tightly.

“Yes, it does because I’m tired of throwing myself a pity party every night.”

“As if I haven’t done that?” she gestured to herself.

“You broke up with me,” you reiterate.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t miss you!” She walked to the bar area of the kitchen counter.

You let the words hang in the air, you genuinely didn’t have a response to that.

“It’s like you didn’t even care to reach out,” she sighed under her breath.

“The phone works both ways,” you rebutted.

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to!”

“Of course I did! I wanted to remain friends,” her cheeks were flush.

You try to calm your breathing and think hard about what you’re going to say because you didn’t want to get her feelings anymore than you did, apparently. “It’s hard to remain friends with someone you had fallen in love with and been with for a year.”

“As if I don’t know that?!” She crossed her arm and held her forehead with the other, “I had hope that we could work our way back.”

“Well…”

She took a long deep breath, before looking back up at you, “so you don’t want to try?”

“Literally when did I say that?”

“You didn’t have to say anything! I can tell with the way this is going that you don’t want to,” she was trying to calm herself down but you could tell she was struggling.

“No, no, no, back to the main question, why do you care that I’ve been seeing other people? We broke up!” you uncrossed your arms and got yourself some water too, your hands needed to do something.

“Because!” she huffed, “Because I still care for you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” she sighed once more, “and I miss you.”

You stop in your tracks and set the glass down gently before your impulse took over to throw it. You glare at her, “then why did you leave?”

“Because it wasn’t fair to you! We barely saw each other and when we did we would fight! I loved you too much to do that to you,” tears began to form in her eyes but she didn’t dare let them fall.

“I was perfectly fine letting you do what you love and was willing to work it out, you never talked to me about how you felt! You just up and left!” you threw back.

“Are you serious?! I had a flight that morning I had to leave, it was nothing to do with you.”

“You could’ve waited,” you growled.

“And make you feel more miserable?”

“I wasn’t!! That’s what I’m saying! I loved you, hell I still do, but that was bad the way you did it and you know it,” you pointed at her, hoping that she didn’t catch that one part.

“You what?”

Damn it, “you heard me.”

She sat at the bar and hung her head in her hands, sniffling.

“Rhea…” you start, and the lump in your throat was getting bigger, “I was distracting myself so that I could stop thinking about you. You consume my life, I think about you all the time,” a tear fell and you wiped it away before she could see. “I couldn’t do anything that first month, I was miserable, I had to do something.”

She lifted her head, her face was red and covered in tears. “I never stopped loving you,” she admitted.

“That makes two of us,” you said under your breath. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you again,” she wiped her nose with a paper towel.

You couldn’t think of anything to say. You sat there staring at her, thinking of everything you’ve ever done together and where it went wrong, but it never came up. “What do you want me to say?” you sigh.

“I don’t know,” she caught your eyes. Those icy blue perfect eyes staring back into you.

“Then what do you want from me?”

She sat for a minute racking her brain, trying to think of an answer that was different from what she wanted to say, but what’s the use, she thought and decided to shoot her shot anyway, “Another chance?”

You contemplate for a few short seconds, “You have to promise me-”

“I’ll do anything please, baby,” she didn’t mean to call you that, but you let it slide.

“You have to promise me that you’ll keep me informed on your schedule no matter what. We will make it work. Take me with you, I’ll pay for the extra bed, I’ll pay for the tickets, just…” you take a deep breath, “don’t give up again.” You didn’t think you would fold so quickly, but here you were.

“I promise, I’ll send it right now, the whole month. And when the next one comes I’ll send you that too,” as she took out her phone and sent it, “we can download a shared calendar app.”

“Thank you,” you took a sip of your water and set it back down. “Now are you going to admit that you were supposed to meet me at the coffee shop or what?”

“I had to get to you somehow,” she smiled nervously.

“You didn’t think that Leah Shipley wouldn’t raise an eyebrow?”

“Hey, what can you do?” she shrugged.

The two of you sat in silence for a good minute smiling at the thought of her trying to trick you.

“So are you going to kiss me or what?” you said a little too confidentally.

She basically ran around the counter and slammed her mouth against yours, holding your jaw. Your hands grabbed her waist and pulled her in tightly.

“God, I missed you,” she breathed.

“Shut up,” as you kiss her again.

She carefully walked you backwards towards the counter as your lips danced against hers. Your hands found themselves roaming her body naturally, like it was never gone.

She picked you up onto the counter, carefully moving things away. Her hips shoved their way in between your thighs pushing your dress up as she went, as you wrapped your legs around her, pulling her in as close as possible.

A hand found its way into your hair and yanked it to the side letting a whimper spill out of you. She kissed down your neck, biting delicately sending shockwaves down to your core. She kissed her way down your chest until she couldn’t find anymore bare skin. Suddenly, her arms pulled you forward to where you almost fell off the counter, yanking your dress farther up. She planted soft kisses on your inner thighs which made you crazy.

“Can I-” she whispered before you cut her off.

“Do it. I don’t care just fuck me, please baby,” you had missed her touch so badly. No one had ever made you feel the way she did, it was insane. She knew how to work you out just right.

With a devilish smirk she bit harder on your thighs spreading them as far as they would go. Your hand tangled itself in her hair as you used the other one to lean back. She grabbed at the waistband of your underwear and slid them off of you. A shiver hit your body as the cool air hit your hot center.

Her eyes widened at the sight of you basically dripping onto the counter, “Damn, baby, you missed me that much?”

“Shut up,” you said once more and shoved her head into you.

She immediately began lapping at your juices. You moan loudly with your head slamming on the cabinets behind you. A small “fuck,” fell from your lips followed by another moan. Her hand grazed up your thigh, lightly scratching its way up. It reached around to the small of your back and pushed you more forward into her. Riding her face, your hand gripped hair tighter. The hand sneaked its way back around and prodded at your entrance.

“Please, yes,” you whine.

And so she did, gently plunging her two fingers into you. “God,” you groan as your eyes rolled back.

She kissed the inside of your thighs before returning to your neck and kissing her way up to your lips. You grab her face, kissing her intensely, as she’s now pounding into you. Her other hand returns to your now swollen clit and adds to the knot growing inside of you.

“You missed me, baby?” she coos.

“So… fucking… bad,” you breathe.

“Then show me,” she growled.

Only a few seconds pass and you released all over her hand with a loud moan, squeezing your legs closed but was stopped by her hips blocking your way. Your back arching into the woman in front of you, “ffffffucccckk,” you whine as she kisses your neck. Your nails are digging into her shoulder blades as she continues to pump in and out of you letting you enjoy the high.

As you came down, catching your breath, you release your grip on her shoulders. Your head lolled forward leaning onto the wrestlers forehead for a few breaths before leaning back onto the cabinet. She gently pulled her fingers out of you and brought them to her mouth, cleaning them off.

“I forgot how good you taste, princess,” her accent was so thick you almost came undone again.

“It’s been too long,” you sigh.

“I guess we have some catching up to do, then huh?” she smirked. She picked you up with a giggle coming from both of you and began to carry you to your bedroom.

[sebaztianlovesgeek]

Why I don't like the trans woman Vil headcanon

You probably saw my repost of another person talking about this but I wanted to rant about it by myself so here we go.

Before you start calling me transphobic, I'm not angry BECAUSE he's being headcanoned as trans (I actually headcanon him as trans myself, but as a trans man) and at the end of the day he's just a fictional character and it doesn't really matter so do whatever the hell you want.

That being said, a huge part of Vil's characters is not liking gender roles/stereotypes

This scene with him and Epel speaks for itself:

Why is this a problem? Well the main reason I'm seeing a lot of people headcanon him as a trans woman is because he is feminine-

My reaction:

Ah yes because feminine men totally cannot exist! They HAVE to be a trans woman! Same with tomboys they have to be trans men! Oh my god-

I want to clarify I'm not blaming trans people for this, in fact I've seen mainly trans people in the twst wonderland fandom call this out and mainly non trans people headcanon Vil as a trans woman.

To be fair, a lot of trans people started out as masculine "women" or feminine "men" before they realised they were trans, but that doesn't mean ALL feminine and masculine men and women are trans (or at least not transitioning to be the opposite gender I have met plenty of masculine trans women and feminine trans men)

Like the post I reposted said, if Vil truly WERE a trans woman, s/he'd probably be a tomboy, because a huge part of Vil's character IS 👏🏻BREAKING 👏🏻GENDER 👏🏻ROLES!

A lot of the trans male friends I have who also like Twisted Wonderland look up to Vil, because they want to break male gender roles and pass enough to be seen as a feminine guy and not a woman (what I mean by that is when trans men are feminine and like wearing dresses and stuff they are often a bit too afraid to do it due to social dysphoria and being misgendered so they usually wait until they begin passing more to wear/do more feminine things, its sad)

So when said trans male friends see the other twisted wonderland say Vil HAS TO BE A WOMAN just because he's feminine it makes them upset, they think they aren't "trans enough" and that to be a "true man" they must conform to male gender roles so they can be "trans enough"

The same goes with female characters who are masculine, trans women who are tomboys could be happy that a woman in media they watch is more masculine like them, but when people start headcanoning said woman as a trans man, it could make the trans women upset

I'm not saying headcanoning certain characters as trans is a bad thing, do whatever the hell you want, I'm not the type to get angry over fictional fun, I scoff at people wishing death upon proshippers because yeah its gross but at the end of the day its just fiction and the person behind it are often just a weird pre teen, I barely even make "call out posts" about these types of fandom stuff but subjects like being transgender often hit home for me because I have many trans friends and a few trans relatives whom I worry about because I know dysphoria can often make people think unhealthy and suicidal thoughts, so I'm just concerned about the harm certain headcanons could cause

[chocolatepot]

Pisses me off that Tumblr is crying about Dead White Boy Detectives getting cancelled without addressing Gaiman's crimes

Well, first off, you're entitled to your emotional reaction to something. I completely understand being angry at posts you see on social media.

However, you may be expecting a lot more sympathy than you're actually going to get from me, because I also think people are allowed to express sadness about what all of this means for the fictional projects that are important to them without saying in the same post that Neil Gaiman is a sexual predator. If the individuals that you're mad at (because let's be honest with each other here, anon, the entirety of Tumblr does not have one unified response to this - I don't even give a shit about DBD and haven't this whole time) are genuinely not at all fussed about the revelations regarding Neil Gaiman, then yes, they're bad people and we should all be pissed at them.

But I've seen way too many people assume that because someone didn't say X in the one post they happened to see, that someone doesn't care about X and probably has an actively terrible opinion on X, and that just isn't how it works. (This is the "so you hate waffles?" phenomenon.) It would be so lovely if we could intuit everything about other people from a passing remark, but we can't.

I know it's cringe to acknowledge this, but fiction means a lot to people. Fiction keeps people alive - I've seen so many fans say that they literally avoided suicide because they told themselves they needed to see the next installment/season of a series they love. This isn't me saying "you have to cheer for renewal of everything or else you're trying to make people kill themselves," because that would be stupid, but it's always worth considering when people seem to care about something you don't think they should care about that much that ... they have a life that has nothing to do with you, they're three-dimensional humans who are capable of thinking about multiple issues, and the tiny snapshot impression you get from a single post is not their whole personality. It costs nothing to be charitable.

[luvrsux]

i absolutely LOVEEE your mafia Shanks babe not to mention i adore any and eerryyyy thing you do!!! Was wondering if you could write honestly anything for Shanks who is just absolutely obssesed with reader. Live action Shanks did a NUMBER in my well-being that man’s SOOO FINE (literally has me in a chokehold) Have a GREAT day loverrr 🤭😩🤍

thank you for the request \(◦´-`◦)/♡

“I Can Be a Better Boyfriend”

word count: 9k

summary: shanks is obsessed with you but unfortunately youre spoken for. what you don’t know is that your boyfriend isn’t very loyal and shakes wants you all to himself

cw: NSFW, obsessive behavior, mentions of weaponry, choking, oral (receiving and giving), fucking while on the phone

a/n: my longest fic⁉️

There was a slight tension in the room you sat innocently in, surrounded by chatter and laughter. You had a cold cup of an alcoholic beverage in hand while you sat close to your chatterbox boyfriend, where the tension lingered. You sensed the tension coming from him and who it was toward. You’d flicker your eyes between your close friend, Shanks, and your boyfriend, seeing how transparent the jealousy was—but it was a party, you thought. No need to cause a scene, right?

“Let’s play truth or dare!” The drunken cowboy said waving an empty bottle in the air before letting it roll in the center. His scruffy brother Luffy yelled in agreement.

Your eyes trailed towards the redhead who now had a smug grin directed straight toward the man that held you close beside you. You gulped.

Your boyfriend and Shanks never had the best relationship. The oddly overprotective guy would always tell you how he was bad news, and shower you with flirtatious comments like how you were too good for the likes of him. The way Shanks would go on and on about you was the very thing that made your partner want to rip him into shreds. You loved Shanks, though. He was there for you since day one and was always your ride or die. You didn’t want to throw him out for a guy, and your partner respected that.

In reality, Shanks was infatuated with you. Since the day he laid eyes upon you, he wanted you all to himself. He dreamed of wrapping you in his own arms any given chance he wanted, even in public. During the years you two shared a friendship, he remembered each and everything that made you smile, laugh, sad, or angry. Shanks knew you better than you even knew yourself. He was obsessed with you—and boy was he upset when he found out you were spoken for.

Shanks made it an ultimate goal to make you his sooner or later. It’s something he craved, itched for. He made it painfully obvious that he loved you far more than just a friend. Those flirtatious gestures were just the beginning. He’d sometimes stalk you on social media when you didn’t talk to him, and even go out of his way to “accidentally” bump into you when you were out. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could get in between you and him. Not even you’re good for nothing boyfriend that has been cheating on you for months right under your nose.

Shanks knew, from the beginning. You weren’t the only person he’d keep tabs on, necessarily. He found out your liar of a partner had been betraying your trust with random women for some time. Shanks could never tell you because the thought of him being the reason you were upset over someone who wasn’t worth it broke his heart, despite the fact he didn’t even do the unfaithful act. Believe it when Shanks found out, he was furious. Luckily for the man himself, he had a few tricks up his sleeves already…

Back to reality, you happily agreed to play truth or dare with the little gathering of Shanks’ friends and your own. You all sat on the carpeted floor while Shanks kept slouching on the love chair. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

“I’ll go first! Me, me!” Luffy pushed his brother aside and received an angry ‘Hey!’ in the process. He did his iconic giggle while he spun the bottle in the middle. It landed straight at Roux, who had a beaming smile.

Roux picked a dare that was asked by Luffy and it was simple enough. Luffy dared Roux to finish Beckmann’s plate of food and he ever so happily obliged. You giggled at Benn’s furious remarks now that his plate of food was nothing but thin air.

“Who’s next?” Shanks asks. Ace pushes Luffy aside, who is ready to steal a turn, and raises his hand. Ace leaned over to the glass bottle.

“I’ll spin” With that, the bottle spun in circles before landing directly at you. You went wide-eyed, not expecting to go so soon. You noticed Ace forming a devilish smile.

“Truth or dare?” He asked.

Maybe the alcohol was getting to you, or maybe it was the amount of adrenaline circuiting through your veins since you were the second pick but you immediately said dare. Ace chuckled under his breath quite deviously.

“I dare you to sit on… Shanks’ lap for the rest of the game” Ace clapped his hands together and laughed. Shanks looked at Ace with a pleased smile before resting his head on his knuckles to look dead straight at you.

Your jealous partner grabbed your hand in objection when he realized you were getting ready to oblige. He stared at you with sinister eyes, not wanting you to go near the redhead, who now was more than amused by your jealous boyfriend's reaction.

“Babe, don’t… You already know how I feel about him…” He ironically says. You smile and leave a peck on his cheek as comfort, to which he didn’t deserve.

“Trust me, it’s fine. Me and Shanks aren’t like that. I’ll chicken out of the dare after a few rounds, okay?” You whisper.

The group stared at you two, anticipating if you’d chicken out or not, which had a punishment. You weren’t too excited to receive a possible hardcore punishment from the reckless boys, so you decided to go with the dare. Your boyfriend just scoffed and let you be, not even caring about your words.

Shanks had eyes trailing along your body like he had just seen a goddess blind him as you walked yourself over to him. He had beaming eyes as well as a devious smile. He didn’t hesitate to sit up straight for you to use him as a newfound seat. Since he felt your body press against his crotch, he was ready to show everyone in this room, including your scumbag partner, who he truly loved. You felt your cheeks flare up once your back grazed against his partially exposed chest. Your body was stiff and you wondered why you became so flustered around the redhead. Shanks avoided touching you, for now.

A round or two went on and your partner looked aggravated. He barely participated in games and just chose truth for every round. Shanks enjoyed the angry view of your partner meanwhile you started to feel a bit bad. Shanks caught a glimpse of your empathetic attitude and quickly wanted to make a stop to it. ‘You shouldn’t waste a single breath out of your pretty face for him, (F/N)’

Your partner got chosen again and, lo and behold, he chose truth. He had daggers in his eyes towards Shanks and you, who sat on his lap so innocently with doe eyes. He saw Shanks whisper something in your sweet ear and you sprout up in giggles. As soon as you covered your face with your palms from your silly laughter, Shanks made absolutely sure he made eye contact with the boy across from you.

“Are you jealous of Shanks and (F/N) right now?” Someone asks your partner. Your laughter dies down upon hearing the question, your expression growing more serious. You watch your partner exhale deeply and form a fake smile.

“No, of course not! I trust my girl, she’s the best” He bullshitted. In reality, he wanted to rage at the redhead and yell at you for condoning the behavior. Shanks saw right through his fake facade and gave him a glare.

“Bullshit…”

He murmured. You heard a rumble from his chest and you turned your head around. The scent of your shampoo slithered into Shanks's nose and he formed a smile.

“Said something?” You ask innocently. He looked you up and down with a relaxed smile and half-lidded eyes.

“No, don’t worry, doll” He cooed. His tone of voice made your body shiver. You didn’t know how to process the new nickname he gave you, but chose not to say anything.

“Aww, how cute”

“Goals!”

“I’m surprised”

Unlike Shanks, everyone bought into your partner's fake lies. Shanks hated that no one knew who he actually was. Your fraud of a boyfriend gathered the praise to only fuel his fragile ego even more, and the redhead you sat comfortably on didn’t like it. Soon, you felt a tender arm wrap around your waist and a half-bare chest press against your back. You slightly inhaled sharply at the sudden feeling.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Needed to get comfortable, y’know?” Shanks chuckled right beside your ear. You could feel his breath slightly tickle your neck.

He displayed quite the show in front of your now-boiling partner. You could’ve sworn you saw a vein come out of his forehead. Steam might as well be coming out of his ears at this point. He cleared his throat and slammed his drink on the floor, causing a loud thump.

“Wow, it’s late. I have work in the morning, I’ll see you guys” He, yet again, created a fake mask to prevent any scene from happening. You heard in his tone was quite on edge and jolted. The firm arm around your body restricts you from easily getting up.

When you saw your partner approach the door with his coat, you finally broke free of Shanks to chase after him. The scene made Shanks want to hurt him, but he could only curse under his breath.

“Babe, babe…” You say, grabbing his hand. He whips at you with daggered eyes. You felt your heart sink a few feet into the Earth's core.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me… He was all over you” He hissed. You opened your mouth agape to rebuttal but were interrupted by him facing the illuminated screen of his phone rather than you. He seemed as if he had a message he needed to read.

“Who’s that?” You abruptly ask. He angrily tucked his phone away and finally faced you. His arms slithered through his jacket and slipped it on.

“Just a coworker. Look, I gotta go. I’ll text you tomorrow” He gave a quick peck on your cheek as well as a quick glare at the staring redhead, to which you had not noticed. You stared at the door in defeat.

“Love you…”

You said to yourself.

In actuality, lately, you’ve grown skeptical of your partner. You’d notice that he couldn’t go a second without his phone and have a heart attack if it went missing like it was his own kin. The moment he got defensive about you snatching his phone from him, you started to overthink and rethink your trust in him. Your trust and overthinking would fluctuate as days passed. One day, he’d be absent-minded and forget your plans no matter how much effort you’d put into it. Another day, he’d shower you with gifts and compliments. On days like those, it’d make you quite delusional and forget the rather questionable behavior he’d project. You also began to sense a bit more animosity from him towards you. He’d blame it on work, but he couldn’t seem to not stop pouring out his anger onto you. The only person who could comfort you on those heartbreaking days was none other than Red-Haired Shanks.

While you stared at the blank door in front while chatter, laughter and music played behind you, you sighed in complete defeat. Now that your mood completely plummeted by your fraud partner, you had no reason to keep the party going. You wished you hadn’t hosted the get together at your own home but here you were. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Everything alright?” A voice spoke to you. You quickly averted your menacing stare from the door to a more oblivious gaze at the redhead.

“Oh, erm…” You stammer. You couldn’t help but shrug in defeat. “Guess I’m just tired… Can you tell-“

“Don’t worry your little pretty head”

Shanks winked and patted your head. Shanks immediately caught onto the situation as if he didn’t eavesdrop on the entire quarrel. You made eye contact with his back while he stood tall in front of the partying group.

“Alright guys, (F/N) needs rest. Party’s over”

You heard Shanks try to escort everyone out of the comfort of your house so you can decompress your stress from your failing relationship. Everyone groggily objected to leaving before being dragged out by their more sober friends. You watched Shanks push everyone out of the front door from the sidelines, admiring his charm and kind gesture. He immediately knew you needed space and quiet. The way he could sense everything about you made your heart skip a few beats.

・❥・

“That should be everyone” Shanks chuckled, clicking the door shut. You rubbed your arm nervously and hummed, gazing at your close friend. He approached you with loving eyes. You felt his finger tuck a lingering strand of hair behind your ear.

“You sure you’re alright?” He asked, rather close to your face. With one single push, you were bound to crash your lips against his own. You gulped.

“Yeah… Promise” You murmur. Shanks gazed at the features on your face as if he couldn’t get enough of it. He’s seen your face a million times and stared at your pictures on social media for ages but he still couldn’t get enough. He chuckled.

“I’ll stick around and clean up. You get rest, doll” He repeated the nickname once again. You still didn’t know how to feel about it and why he called you that, but for some odd reason, it made you gush.

“Are you sure?” You asked, watching him already get to work on tidying your messy living room. He hummed.

“Promise. Now go sleep”

You gave him one tight squeeze of his chest. You could faintly hear his heartbeat for a moment before you pulled away. Shanks resisted every urge to keep you there.

“Thank you, Shanks. You’re the best” You beamed.

Those words made Shanks fall in love with you all over again. He saw you skip away to the hallway that led to your very own room. Shanks let out a small chuckle before continuing to pick up the lingering cups and cigarette buds.

Shanks made sure you went to bed alright before he could leave. He escorted you to your room and saw you tuck yourself in bed. He felt like slithering his body next to yours, but that’d have to wait a little bit longer. As soon as you saw him make his merry way to your door, you sat up.

“Wait… Do you maybe wanna… Sleepover? The couch is right there” You offered with a sweet smile. Shanks was more than on board to take the offer, but there was something he had to do.

“I’d love to, doll. But I have to do something at home” Shanks painfully declined. The sight of your small frown made his chest tighten.

“Alright…” You say softly. Shanks gave you a comforting smile in hopes of making that frown turn into that smile he loved dearly.

“I’ll come in the morning to check on you, don’t worry. I’ll bring some breakfast on the way” Shanks smiled. Your disappointed demeanor shifted like whiplash by Shanks’ mere words.

“Really? Oh, thank you!” You beamed. Shanks was happy that you were now pleased. He hummed and gave you one last sweet smile.

“Anything for you” He murmured before leaving the room.

He exhaled out of pure euphoria by simply talking to you and seeing you as sweet as ever. For a moment, he forgot why he even had to leave in the first place. Before he could consider slumping on the couch, the buzzing of his phone snapped him back to reality.

Yassop - 11:56 PM

target is at the scene just as planned, cap

His memory traced back to him as soon as his eyes trailed along the message sent by his trusty partner-in-crime. Shanks carved a menacing smile and strutted his body to leave the comfort of your home.

Shanks - 11:58 PM

on the way

・❥・

Shanks sat in his car as casually as ever. Completely brushing off the fact he was about to do something completely against the law. The orange street lights slightly illuminated against the dewed window beside him and he stared up at the building before him. He kept his eyes locked on a specific window which showed a silhouette of his newfound target. Shanks could feel himself getting antsy as he’d been meaning to do this for a while, and the time as finally come. With glossed photo captures in his raven trench coat and a steel, sharp dagger tucked away on the other side, he exited his car when the moment was right.

The redhead had his head ducked down until he stepped inside the apartment complex. The stairwell is rugged but fortunately empty. At this hour, people were sound asleep in their own peaceful dreams. Shanks, having done this a couple times before, knew exactly which door was the gateway to his target's demise. As soon as he landed his sinister eyes on the locked door, he never felt so much adrenaline in his system when he gave it a single knock.

“Yeah, yeah babe I know- Hello?”

There he was. Your partner, on the phone with someone who most definitely wasn’t you, swung the door open to a smiling Shanks. He pulled his device away from his ear to eye the tall, blood-haired man up and down.

“What the fuck are you- Mmmph!”

Shanks made himself feel welcome and shoved a hand against his mouth. His hand gripped his jaw so tightly, that he thought he could’ve shattered it right there and then. Your boyfriend stared up at Shanks with widened eyes that had his whole life flashing before him. The unfamiliar feminine voice on the other line could be faintly heard, frequently saying “Hello?” “Are you there?” “What’s going on?”. To avoid suspicion and the police locking Shanks in handcuffs, he had to put an end to that conversation.

“Hang up the phone”

His voice rumbled against his trembling ear. He could’ve killed someone with a single sinister tone with the way he spoke into your partner's ear. He nodded frantically, already obeying Shanks like a dog and he hadn’t even pulled out his dagger yet. He let go of his bound-to-be bruised jaw and let him speak.

“I’ll- Call you back” He stammered. Shanks could faintly hear the voice continue to bombard him with questions but to no avail. He had already cut the line before explaining. Seeing as how he had a tight grip around his jaw, he wondered what else Shanks was capable of if he didn’t oblige.

“What do you want…?” He gulped. Shanks chuckled. He just looked and paced around the comfort of your boyfriend’s home as if it were his own. He trailed his eyes on an opened can of beer and an opened pizza box.

“Takeout? You must’ve known I was coming, I’m starving” Shanks ignores his shaken question. He picked up a slice, which was rather cold to his liking but it sufficed. He nonchalantly took a happy bite and washed it down with the freshly cracked open beverage.

“You have pretty good taste, I’ll give you that much,” Shanks said with a mouthful. Your boyfriend watched the scene with horrified eyes. He was completely distraught and it might as well give him whiplash with the way he behaved. Just a moment ago he had a hand around his face that was ready to snap it, and now he’s acting like a house guest.

“What the hell do you want, Shanks?” He says more confidently. Shanks notices his bolder tone rather than his more scared one like before. He gives him a bit of a menacing side eye before rummaging in his pocket.

Suddenly, 4k resolution glossed images spread on the table Shanks was feasting on. Each image presented a quality image of your liar of a boyfriend going behind your back with several different women. Some contained regular romantic dates while others were more explicit. Each one captured a clear view of his face to make sure it was undoubtedly your unfaithful partner. Upon glancing at each and every one of them, he felt his heart drop miles into the pits of the Earth. He thought he was being discreet and slick about his actions, but the truth always unveils itself, doesn’t it? Especially by someone as obsessive as Shanks.

“How did you-…” He began. He furrowed his eyebrows to a Shanks that continued eating at his pizza slice innocently. He clenched his fists into balls.

“Don’t you dare go and tell (F/N) about this-!” He begins but is cut off by a devious chuckle. His face dropped upon hearing it from the redhead. He watched him drop the half-eaten piece of food on the floor carelessly and rummage around in his pocket. Before your partner knew it, another hand clenched his jaw. What made this time entirely different and a lot more petrifying was now he felt a cold, steel item lightly pierce into the flesh of his neck. He watched the blade with bloodshot, scared eyes while Shanks did as well with a smile.

“I won’t tell that pretty girl, I don’t want to break her precious heart” He cooed. Shanks leans into his ear to yet again use that sinister voice to his advantage.

“You’re going to tell her about each and every time you were an unfaithful dick to her before sunset tomorrow” Shanks could hear his frantic, horrified, shaken breaths. “And, trust me, I’ll know. You’d consider this interaction a lot nicer than the one I’ll give you if you don’t do as I say. That a deal?” He asks. No response due to the sheer shell shock Shanks provided.

“I said is that a fucking deal?”

Shanks's devious smile dropped to a stone-cold, serious look. After repeating himself once, your “boyfriend” was afraid of what would happen if it happened a second time. He frantically nodded as his life depended on it. Shanks could feel a wet, warm sensation on his hand. He pulled his head away from his ear to reveal the once bold guy grew tears on his face.

“What a pussy…” He pushed him aside for him to collapse on the floor. Shanks wiped his dewed off to dry. He exhaled, his job finally done for the night and now completely satisfied. Although, he was a little disappointed that he couldn’t draw blood.

“Thanks for the meal, greatly appreciate it. See ya!” He says rather cheerfully before exiting the room.

Shanks never had such a big beaming, evil grin on his face before.

・❥・

You sat on your cushioned couch, minding your business. You had your eyes locked on the screen mindlessly, not a single thought behind those eyes. That is, besides the thought of your “partner”. He hadn’t messaged you at all since the gathering. You’ve been sending him several messages but they all met the same fate; left on delivered.

The only thing that made your day better was that Shanks kept his word. He was invited into your home with open arms with fresh breakfast in hand. You remember sharing the meal together. One thing, in particular, was the moment Shanks had a finger wipe off the lingering sauce on the side of your mouth only to lick it off of his own finger. Something about the interaction made your stomach flip. After Shanks's unfortunate departure, you were left alone worrying about your relationship. You didn’t want to bother the redhead about it considering he’s heard it a million times, but he’d hear it a million times more in a heartbeat.

You were just about to finally call him to ask him what he was doing. Those skeptical feelings came flooding back as usual. The thought of there being someone made your stomach turn, but it’s been such a recurring thought for a while that the feeling of heartbreak became more bearable. Your thumb hovered the call button until it was quickly pulled away by your own body from the sound of your door knocking. You presumed it would be Shanks since he liked to surprise you often.

You trotted your feet towards the door that, for some reason, grew more frantic knocks—like the person needed to get ahold of you. You sighed and adjusted your clothing to seem more presentable and less lazy-like.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” You annoyingly say before twisting the metal knob to the side. You swung the door open, hearing the mass impact of the raining water meeting the ground. You stare up at your drenched boyfriend with sad eyes.

“Babe…? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You frantically ask, your once annoyed demeanor completely vanishing. Without a word, he pushed passed you like you didn’t say a single thing. He created small footprint puddles on your hardwood floors as he walked. You quickly shut the door.

“I-… I need to talk to you, (F/N)” He used your actual name, which he started resulting in a lot more than before. He spoke in a horse tone as if he’d been running a marathon. You quickly trailed him to the couch to get him comfortable.

“What’s up? C’mon, talk to me” You placed a hand on his forehead to check his temperature, knowing the probable chance of him getting sick from the pouring rain.

“Listen,” He began. His eyes were filled with absolutely nothing but guilt. He wrapped his soaked hands around your warm and dry ones. “You have to get rid of Shanks” He blurted.

You blinked, staring at him completely dumbfounded. You two have slightly argued about Shanks but you’ve done everything in your ability to prove to your insecure partner that you were loyal and not into Shanks, so you thought. You nervously tucked your hair behind your ear.

“What? Why, what are you talking about-?”

“He- He- He came to my fucking house” He cut off and started speaking frantically. You watched in disbelief. “He showed me pictures and told me to tell you-“ He realized he’d been speaking too much, not intending on doing what Shanks told him to initially do. He thought Shanks’ little threats were a bluff, but the weird feeling of him being watched said otherwise.

“…Tell me what?” You ask. You noticed that he realized he spoke too much, and you internally began piecing everything together. He felt your hands slip from his grasp.

“That-… Doesn’t matter. The point is that he’s fucking crazy-“

“What were pictures, (NAME)? What do you need to tell me?” You asked more sternly, hoping and praying you weren’t about to be right about your speculations.

“C’mon, babe… He tried to threaten me” He formed a smile to woo you onto him but to no avail. You just raised an eyebrow. He scoffed.

“They were pictures… Of me” He tried to end it there but you weren’t satisfied. Shanks wouldn’t go that far for simple selfies.

“Of me and some… women” He finally admitted, attempting to say the last word in a lower tone in hopes you didn’t hear—but you did. You abruptly got up from your seat. As soon as he saw you were about to shout, he quickly tried to cover it up.

“But babe I love you, I promise! Those-… Those were just-“

“Shut the hell up!”

You held all that pent-up anger and finally released it with that one scream. He jolted and kept his mouth completely sealed. You began to swell with tears but blinked them away to refuse to show any sense of vulnerability.

“You come to my house after ignoring me all day to shit talk my best friend when you’ve been cheating on me?” You stepped forward to him only for him to laugh nervously and step back.

“I’ve actually known for a while but refused to believe it! And there’s photo evidence?” You didn’t stop yourself from getting up in his face with a seething glare.

“You’re a gaslighting piece of shit! I never want to see your face again”

With those words coming out of your mouth, he glared right back at you. He huffed, running his fingers through his locks to finally speak.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you were cheating on me with that redhead, anyway” He turned his body to snatch his jacket. Unsatisfied with the fact he couldn't manipulate you into believing him, he decided to just flee.

“I sure as hell should’ve so you can understand how the hell it feels, asshole” You chased him to the door so you can continue embarrassing him now that his little plan of him manipulating you didn’t work.

“Have fun sucking Shanks’ dick, (F/N)” He cursed at the doorway. His remark made you grin sinisterly.

“Oh, I will and maybe I’ll send pictures to your mailbox to prove it”

You slammed the door with all the remaining might you have left thanks to adrenaline. You breathed heavily while your body was shaken from shock. You let out one last frustrated groan before stomping to your couch. After a few seconds, you finally snapped back to the harsh reality of the fact your trust got betrayed. You finally let out those tears you held captive while you were shouting. You palmed your eyes and sniffled for minutes on end, not knowing what to do for the future. You finally grab your phone to call the only person who could make you feel better.

“Hello? Everything okay, doll?”

“He-… He cheated on me…”

Shanks had been lingering in his car, not far from your location. Your sobbing words made Shanks grin menacingly. He internally celebrated that his plan worked out thoroughly. Once he realized you were sobbing over the phone, he hit the pedal on his car to speed his way to your home.

“That’s awful… He’s such an idiot” Shanks tried to hide his excitement from the sole fact you were not available. But, of course, your vulnerable state was far more important.

“Come over, please…” You beg, murmuring over the phone. Shanks hummed, feeling his heart slightly tear at your low and saddened voice.

“Of course, sweetheart”

His soothing, sweet, charming voice made your tears suddenly halt. You hum and hang up the phone to wait for your new knight in shining armor to make all your sorrows disappear.

・❥・

“Oh, doll, you look horrible,” Shanks said with a sympathetic frown. He cupped your face, wiping down your drenched cheeks until they were dry. You let it happen and stared into his caring eyes that trailed along your features.

He pulled you into the same couch you rotted in previously. He sat you down and quickly poured you a glass of water, fully knowing you hadn’t kept yourself hydrated.

“What happened? Did he tell you personally?” Shanks innocently asked as if he wasn’t the sole reason this whole ordeal occurred in the first place.

“He came and began accusing you… He told me you showed him pictures of him with some women?” You turned to him, who had stopped his sudden movements. He decided to play along, not expecting the guy to snitch on him.

“That son of a bitch- Yeah… I did. I told him to tell you a few days ago” Shanks said, approaching you with a cold glass of fresh water. You watched with doe, red eyes.

“I didn’t want to tell you because you mean a lot to me. You deserve to hear it from him” Shanks smiled, handing you the glass. You believed every word and wrapped your hands around the glass, brushing your fingers against his own which sent slight shockwaves.

“I’m surprised you believed him. Sometimes people in your shoes believe his shitty lies” Shanks wrapped an arm around your shoulder to physically comfort you.

“I was suspicious for a while, I was just… Too delusional to do anything” You say lowly, entirely out of embarrassment. You felt a finger pull your chin up his face.

“You did the right thing, sweetheart. He was a terrible partner” Shanks formed a small smile to help one carve from your lips. It was contagious and you couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I suppose so…” You say. You stare into his eyes and slightly blush from the sudden position you are in. If anyone were to catch a glimpse of your current state, they’d assume you and Shanks were a couple.

“Why do you call me those things, Shanks?” You abruptly ask. Shanks hummed and tilted his head, ever so slightly inching it forward.

“You want my honest answer?” He says with a grin. You paused for a moment before you could muster up a response. All you could do was nod submissively.

“I love you, (F/N)” He says proudly. Those words shot through your heart and everything made perfect sense. Your now ex-boyfriend’s suspensions were correct, to which you’d always deny.

“I have been since I laid eyes on you. You’re absolutely perfect, and I can’t get enough of you” You felt his fingers brush through your hair and slither from your chin down to your palm.

“I should’ve told you sooner if it meant you wouldn’t be crying over that scumbag” He planted a chaste kiss on your hand. He looked up at you with lovesick pupils and you didn’t know what came over you.

You didn’t know if it was your vulnerable emotions or the fact Shanks was being hot as hell but you slammed your lips against his as soon as he lifted them off of your hand. Shanks didn’t object, rather more shocked than anything. He placed an arm around the hook of your back when you began towering over his body. You let out a small noise once Shanks slipped his tongue into your mouth and he already began breaking through his pants.

You hungrily ran your palms on his half-exposed chest only to fuel your lust more. You felt his toned chest at your fingertips but you didn’t separate your lips. You felt Shanks’ eager hands grope the fats of your ass tenderly, only to birth a moan from your voice. With a single grind against his crotch, Shanks immediately pulled away.

“Wait, wait… Doll, do you want to do this?” He breathes. You eye his face up and down, now expecting the sudden change of direction. You bit your lip and collected your emotions. Your sex was already ready for him to tear you apart, but the way he’s been so caring and tender to you proved everything Shanks said to be true. If you were going to have sex, Shanks would be the perfect partner.

“Yes, I do…” “Are you sure?”

You nodded confidently, greatly appreciating his gesture to make sure you were comfortable and on board. With that single nod, Shanks wrapped his hand around your neck to pin you down. You hitched, not expecting his sudden course of action. It’s like as soon as you agreed, you unlocked a whole new person.

Shanks removed his hand and curiously traveled his hungry hands along your body. He groaned, leaning against your ear. You felt his strands of hair tickle the crook of your neck.

“I promise I’ll fuck you better than he ever has”

His words sent a wave of lust down your body. You couldn’t help but let a whimper escape. Shanks immediately tugged off your comfortable pants to leave you in your own lace. You inhaled.

He pressed two digits against your slit to feel the dampness from it. He bit his lower lip, immediately turned on even more by the fact you were already soaked from his touch.

“Such a good girl, already wet for me” He cooed. You felt his teeth clamp on your thin lace to slowly pull them off. He stared into your eyes each second until they were off.

Shanks gently spread your legs further apart to get a beautiful view of your cunt. He swore he was caught in a trance now that he was finally able to cherish this moment with you. He gave you one last glance before lowering his lips.

He trailed his wet tongue along your slit slowly, getting a small wave of moans from your mouth. He was only testing the waters, seeing how you taste and how much he loved each drop. Pressed his mouth against your slit and let out a hungry groan which sent vibrating sensations through your core.

He made sure to focus his mouth on your clit to give you waves of pleasure. It wasn’t long before you filled the entire living room with your, what he would call ‘pathetic’, moans, completely overshadowing the chatter of your TV.

Shanks pulled away from your throbbing clit to slip in two digits. He curved his fingers just the right way to hit your sweet spot with ease. The way you bucked your hips into his fingers was a sign he was making you feel euphoric.

“Like that? You like that?” He asked with a smile despite him already knowing the answer. You frantically nod.

“Yes~! Oh mmmph yes~!”

Your vocalization made Shanks groan and immediately show love to your begging clit. The rapidly rammed his fingers inside of you while he sucked and swirled his tongue around your bud. You never felt so much stimulation before. You immediately clamped your hand to tug Shanks’ bright locks, shoving his face into your cunt. You could feel his stumble rub just a bit against you.

“Mmm…”

Shanks rumbled once you shoved him further. He went at a rapid pace, forcing a faster pace inside of you. You felt that knot begin to snap and breathe heavily. Shanks’ remaining hand clenched your thigh out of anticipation.

“Shanks! I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum~!” You cry out. Shanks formed a slight smile while he devoured you whole.

“Mhm, mhm…” Shanks encouraged your climax. With a tight wrap of your thighs around your head and an arch of your back, you spurted on Shanks’ mouth with your entire might.

You heaved your chest once you rode your high on Shanks’ now drenched face. You unclamped your hand and thighs to set him free. He exhaled with a pleased smile and wiped his mouth dry. He gave your count a small slap.

“Such a good little girl, hm?” He hummed. You giggled and pulled him into another hot make-out session, tasting a bit of yourself on his lips. After a few moments, you pulled away.

“Your turn” You sang. Shanks paused for a moment, baffled you still had the endurance to keep going. He happily agreed and pulled his body off of yours.

You plopped your half-dressed body on the floor on your knees. Shanks man spread his legs before you with a smile and half-lidded eyes. You used your hands to lift your body on his crotch, pressing your breasts on his groin for him to feel. He bit his lip.

You unbuckled his belt that locked his rock-hard member in his pants. Once it was opened, you eagerly unzipped his pants. You felt Shanks lift his waist up to pull down his pants and boxers. The length of his member springing straight into your face caught you by surprise. You wondered if you’d be able to even get halfway down the shaft. Shanks exhaled, feeling relieved now that his hard member was set free from restriction.

“You sure you can handle it?” He asked, that same smug smile on his face. You gulped, wondering if you’d be able to. You eyed it up and down, replying with a nod.

“Then be a good girl for me and suck me dry”

You looked up at him with submissive eyes that he loved so much. The sight of it could make him cum in an instant. You kissed the tip of it, tasting the sleek pre cum. You wrapped your lips around the first part to slowly lower your head. You heard Shanks hiss.

“Mhmm~..” He hummed.

You were barely halfway there before you believed your mouth couldn’t take more. You moved slowly, drenching the first top of his member. Shanks bucked his hips ever so slightly into your mouth which would cause a gag to form.

“Lemme help you, princess” He smiled. You felt a hand grab each strand of hair into his own makeshift ponytail to lower you down. You whimpered, starting to feel it go past your actual mouth. Shanks finally lowered you down to the base and you were already tearing up.

“Theeeere you go. Take it alllll in your- mmm~ Mouth” Shanks groaned. You bobbed your head up and down to suck all of him off. You couldn’t stop gagging and choking despite your slow pace.

Shanks would huff at the warm and wet feeling of your mouth. He’d cock his head back a few times before he needed something more. He clenched your hair tighter to control your pace for you. He moved your head faster and faster until you had no more control over your own movement.

“Fuck, your mouth is so perfect f’me” You heard him growl. He had his mouth agape to let his pleasurable sounds escape his mouth. You looked up at him with dumb eyes that were swelled with tears. Shanks growled at the sight, wanting to paint your mouth white.

He loved the sound of slurping, gagging, and whimpers you let out on his member. He couldn’t get enough of it. His moans began to get more reckless the more he crept up to his climax.

“Good girl~ S-Such a good fucking girl” He seethed through his teeth while he skull fucked you with no remorse. Despite your waterfall eyes, you enjoyed Shanks demolishing your throat. Once you felt his cock twitch in your mouth, you pulled your mouth right off his shaft, making a popping sound. Thanks to your slippery mouth and saliva, the member was lubed enough to stroke it just as fast as your mouth was. You heard Shanks grunt and jolt his hips to thrust into your palm.

“Fuck~!”

He spurted his seed all over your face. You stuck out your tongue with a smile to catch some of it into your mouth to taste. You loved it. Shanks coated your face with all of his love juice which seemed to go on forever. He loved the sight of your dirtied-up face.

You swallowed the excess cum that entered your mouth and Shanks smiled in delight. He sat up straight to tilt his body closer to you.

“Cmere”

He grabs you, gently, by the neck to lead you back on the couch on your back. Much like before, Shanks planted his lips on your own as an intermission. He was far from exhausted and so were you. You never experienced this much pleasure and euphoria from sexual activities with your ex-partner. Shanks showed you a whole new world of pleasure.

He parted his lips from yours and huffed. He ripped off his shirt that sluggishly covered his body to expose his toned body. You admired it like it was a museum exhibit. Shanks ran his fingers through his locks before leaning into your ear.

“I’m gonna need a condom because I’m about to fuck the shit out of you, princess” He grinned, biting the lobe of your ear. You giggled in pleasure and kissed the side of his cheek.

“In the second drawer on my nightstand, baby” You cooed. Shanks chuckled and ripped his body off yours after leaving a kiss on your forehead.

He tucked his member back into his loose pants temporarily to grab the contraceptive. You sat up and huffed, a dope smile on your face from the sheer amount of pleasure Shanks brought you. You remembered to finish cleaning your sin filled face until suddenly, your phone began buzzing rhythmically on the coffee table beside you. Considering Shanks was busy at the moment, you thought it wouldn’t hurt to answer.

You saw the caller ID and frowned. Of course, he was calling you to beg for forgiveness. For some odd reason, something told you to answer only to tell him off more.

“What do you want?” You say coldly.

“Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything” He pleaded. By the congestion of his voice and how shaken it was, it seemed like he had been crying for quite some time. The thought made you grin when you realized you’ve been getting pleased by Shanks while he’s been pathetically crying.

“Uhuh, right… And I’m guessing you didn’t mean to cheat on me either?” You say, laying on your stomach while the phone is on your ear. You heard footsteps.

“No! I swear I was stupid and I regret every second, Trust me (F/N)! I…” He went on and on about excuses but you listened blankly when you felt hands grab your hips, forcing you into an arched back position.

You whipped your head back to Shanks to rip open the bag with his teeth. He effortlessly slipped on the condom along his shaft and rubbed it against your entrance. While your ex cried over the other line, Shanks leaned against your ear.

“Don’t hang up that damn phone yet, sweetheart. I want him to hear me fuck you a little and cry even more…” He sadistically spoke into your ear. You replied with a grin and turned your head around straight ahead.

“Why are even you calling me?” You cut off.

You felt Shanks slip in his length inside of your entrance. You bit your lip to hold back a moan while Shanks just lowly groaned when he felt your walls wrap around his member like he longed for. It felt better than Shanks expected.

“Because I want you back, (F/N)! You- you mean so much to me and I swear I didn’t mean it”

Shanks had a hand on your lower back when he began thrusting. The sounds of skin making contact couldn’t travel to the other line of the phone, yet. Shanks moved at a decent pace and it became harder to hold back a moan the more time passed.

“Y-Yeah… You do- haah..~” You say, barely paying attention to his cries over the phone. He could hear your heavy breathing and stopped his frantic attempts to get you back.

“Are you-… Alright? Why are you breathing so hard?”

Shanks heard his question and it was his queue to recklessly slam into you at a rapid pace. Now, the sinful sounds from both bodies made their way to the phone. Your ex could now hear it clearly.

“Ah~! G-Gotta go, cya!” You frantically say. You pull your phone away from your ear to hang up. You could faintly hear him shout and scream once he caught on the fact you were getting the brains fucked out of you. You threw your phone aside once the line was cut and filled the room with the moans you held back.

“Ah~! Fuck, Shanks~! Mmmmph~!” “You feel fucking amazing, baby~.. Fuck~”

Shanks would throw a mixture of praise and degradation which you loved more than anything. Shanks threw his head back and grabbed your love handles to pound into your body like his life depended on it.

“Augh~! Fuck, princess~!”

You repeatedly and messily moaned left and right, your brain going completely blank. The way Shanks mercilessly pounded into your core made your brain go white and all you could do was mewl and scream from Shanks cock. You felt a sudden rise of pleasure burn up, on your way to your second orgasm. Shanks felt your thighs shake.

“Gonna cum? Gonna cum f’me?” He let out a heavy pant and grunt. He didn’t stop his pace, he didn’t slow down a second. You nodded submissively.

“Yes, yes, yes~! Mmmh~!” You let out a sweet little cry and left your mouth agape to let out shaken, rocky moans.

As soon as you felt your juices begin to spurt out of you, you moaned rapidly. Shanks chuckled from the pure excitement from your second climax. He felt beads of sweat from on his forehead and his breathing grew hoarse.

“Shanks~! Oh, fuck Shanks~!” You shrieked once you released your juices on his still rapid-pacing cock. He enjoyed the view, not taking his eyes off of it for a second when you let your high rise out of you. The way he didn’t slow down even then made your brain flatline. Your moans got raspy and hoarse from the never-ending thrusts.

“Just a bit- mmmh~! Longer, baby. I’m about to cum” He caressed your skin to comfort you just a bit after your intense orgasm. You hummed in agreement at Shanks’ words. “You’re so fucking beautiful, you slut”

With a few more pounds, you felt his member twitch inside of you. Shanks impulsively yanked on your now tangled hair to yank your head upward. He wanted to hear you shout with that last slam before he’d release every warm drop of semen “inside” of you.

“Fuck~!!” With that last shout, he filled the condom damn there to the brim. He wished he could cover your walls with his sticky seed until it poured out of you, but this would suffice for now. He slowly kept going for a few more strokes. “God, I fucking love you, (F/N)”

You felt Shanks let go of your hair which left you to collapse on the couch when he pulled out. Shanks huffed as he pulled the used condom off his shaft to throw it away. While he did his thing, there you laid on the couch with your legs shaking and feeling like you ran a marathon. You began to regain consciousness after getting your brains fucked into the next week. You felt Shanks pick you up into his chest and walk you to your dark bedroom.

The sun already set and it was the nightly hour. Shanks laid you down on your bed and pulled the sheets over your worn-out body. He removed the remaining strands of hair stuck on your face with a finger as well as a satisfied smile. Sure, he was a menace while fucking you but he didn’t lie about loving you. Even if you were half asleep, you deserved aftercare, he thought.

“Cuddle me…” You murmur.

You heard Shanks chuckle before walking to the other side of the bed to slip his body close to yours like he imagined yesterday. You immediately latched your body onto his, feeling his arms around your own. All your sorrow and sadness vanished just by being in trustworthy arms.

“Do you really… love me?” You groggily ask. Shanks hummed, looking up from the ceiling to you. All he could do was smile.

“More than anything. You’re perfect for me, (F/N)” He caressed the back of your head to reassure you.

Knowing Shanks for quite some time, you knew he wasn’t lying. You just found it baffling how he showed you his undying love for you right after you found out the truth about your previous relationship. You giggled.

“So you wanted me to break up with him, huh?” You call out.

“Guilty as charged”

You heard him chuckle. You then remembered the phone call you had while Shanks was fucking your guts out. You let out yet another amused giggle.

“Do you think he actually heard us?” You ask. Shanks let out a hearty chuckle at your question, remembering about the whole ordeal. It seemed like his orgasm made him forget about everything that wasn’t your moans.

“Oh, definitely. Must suck for him” He said sadistically, but it only caused you to continue giggling. Now, you have zero remorse for him compared to just yesterday.

“How about I take you on an actual date sometime?” Shanks offered.

The thought of having a more romantic moment with the man you trusted sounded just as good as the way he fucked you. He smiled on his chest and shut your eyes closed to end the night at this perfect moment.

“I’d love that, Shanks”

all licensing and ownership belong to Eiichiro Oda

[bangtanficsforyou]

They Reject You (maknae line)- part two

Pairing: Bts maknae line x Reader

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: swear words here and there

A/N: here's my patreon just in case you enjoy reading my stuff!

Park Jimin

Jimin's eyes light up when he spots you in the cafeteria. You're sitting alone with a cup of coffee and typing away something on your laptop and he can't help but feel like the chair next to you is practically calling for him. 

He makes a quick beeline towards your table and occupies the seat. "Hey, sweetheart."

You don't bother looking up at him as your eyes remain fixed on the screen.

"You shouldn't be sitting alone, if you needed company you could have just texted me," he suggests taking hold of your coffee cup. His plump lips wrap around the straw and he draws up the liquid extra loudly, knowing very well that the noise annoys you.

However, you pay no attention to his lack of table manners.

"Do you know we were supposed to have an exam today but it got cancelled?" He speaks in a tone of disappointment, knowing you'd agree with him. It's one of your icks when you've worked hard for something and have shown up for it, but ultimately do not get the chance to prove yourself.

But you still remain focused on your work and give no reaction or response.

At this point, Jimin finds himself feeling curious as to what might be so important in your laptop that it has all your attention. He leans forward to take a peek and realises that you're working on an assignment.

"Assignments are now more important than me, I see," sighing dramatically he looks down as if upset by your lack of acknowledgement. Not even a moment later he looks up subtly to check if you're looking at him.

When he realises that you aren't, the slightest bit of annoyance sparks inside him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, I should just leave," he keeps his tone casual, not intending to let the fact that he's feeling grumpy, be known.

You tilt your head cutely and mumble something along the lines of vertices having a degree two to yourself. 

Jimin's jaw drops in complete shock. The last time you two had a proper chat was three days back and now that he's trying to talk to you, this is how you treat him?! If that's what you want, fine. He isn't going to sit here and beg you to pay attention to him.

"Fine, I'll leave. I have better stuff to do anyway," he grumbles and takes his leave.

If anyone were to take notice of Jimin's expressions, they'd probably end up laughing. He looks angry but that little pout on his lips and the sad look in his eyes makes him look like a little child throwing tantrums. 

It's a good thing your eyes are not on him. Not even when he makes his leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two classes later, Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram when he comes across a reel of a cute puppy doing the usual puppy antics. His first instinct is to send it to you. However, when he clicks on the share button, he doesn't find your account on the list of people to send. His brows furrow in confusion and he types your account id on the search bar only for the screen to read a message saying no matches found. 

Have you....have you blocked him?

He exits the application and opens WhatsApp. When his eyes land on your contact he notices how your profile picture is appearing to be blank and it only makes him desperately type out a message to you. 

Throughout the class, he keeps hoping that he'd notice a double tick to assure him that you haven't blocked him but unfortunately, no such thing occurs.

At the end of the day, he goes to sleep with a displeased frown. How could you do this? How could you just ignore him during recess and then block him on social media out of nowhere? He didn't even do anything wrong. 

Did he?

He tries to recall the last time the both of you had a proper conversation and his mind goes to the events that occurred on the night of the frat party. 

It's true that you had snapped at him and that the conversation you had, would not fall under the category of 'friendly'. But he didn't think it was serious, either. Both of you had silly arguments here and there, but it never seemed to matter in the long run. Somehow or the other, Jimin always managed to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Sooner or later, the two of you would fall back to the rhythm of him annoying the shit out of you and you talking back to him. 

The more Jimin recalls the little fiery banters you two have engaged in, in the past, the more his confidence grows. He tells himself this time would be no different. It may take a little more time but Jimin is sure you'll be talking to him again. 

It's true that you have never blocked him before. Or never have downright ignored him like this. Even when you would appear to be mad, there was always that little twitch of your eyes or you poking the inside of your cheeks with your tongue, which let him know that he was being successful.

But it doesn't matter. 

Maybe you're really really mad at him this time. But he's sure he will melt that anger away with his smile and charm.

It works on everyone, no doubt it will work on you as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------

With a wide confident smirk plastered on his face, he walks into your classroom and looks for you. 

His smirk softens into a small smile when he spots you with your head buried in books. 

He ignores the hushed whispers and the dreamy stares and walks to your seat before sliding next to you. 

"Hey sweetheart," he says, putting the effort to make his voice extra sultry and smooth. That always works on the girls. 

And for a moment, Jimin thinks he has won when he notices the look of complete surprise on your face. However, his victory is short-lived as your surprise fades quickly and once it does you're back to your work without paying him any mind.

"I got you a gift," he places the said gift on top of your notebook. A rose. "I looked at it and it reminded me of you."

Your hands falter for a brief moment as the nib of your pen is met by the flower. You use your other hand to move the flower out of your way.

Jimin huffs. He is starting to get annoyed and there's this sense of unsettlement in his veins but he tries to look amused. If there's one thing that bothered you to no end, it was when he found your anger as a source of his amusement. 

"Awww," he coos with an underlying tone of mockery. "Are you angry at me?" 

You don't react. Jimin is neither surprised nor flattered. 

"It's so cute though," he comments, and only if you were looking at him would you have known it's only his voice that gives the faux impression of him being amused. His eyes, his frown even the curve of his lips don't hide the fact that he is anything but not amused. 

Jimin feels a mix of frustration and desperation, which makes him snatch the pen away from your hand.

You seem startled by his actions but instead of arguing with him for being such a pain in the ass, your hand makes its way to your pencil pouch. However, before you can take another pen out, Jimin is taking that away from you as well. 

"You aren't getting these back until you talk to me," he declares, as he hugs the pouch and your pen close to his chest as if shielding them away from you.

You sigh, not out of agitation or anger. You seem bored. Something that scares and hurts Jimin, at the same time.

"What do you want?" You query, finally talking to him directly. After four days.

"What do you mean by what do you want?" He scoffs, making air quotes to mock your question. "You aren't talking to me and have blocked me on socials. What do you think I want?"

You sigh, once again and once again you look bored. As if you'd prefer to be anywhere but here. "I thought you had a reputation for being a fuckboy or something."

Jimin's brow furrow in confusion. "What does that have anything to do with this?"

"As a fuckboy whose commitment lasts for only one night, you must have faced many instances where you just wanted the girl to just take the hint," you state, speaking in a tone that's so calm that it makes Jimin squirm in discomfort. "Wonder why then, do you not know when to take the hint yourself."

His eyes fall and suddenly all traces of anger and frustration is gone and is replaced by sadness. Jimin looks a like sad kid who has just been told Santa isn't real. 

The look in Jimin's eyes catches you by surprise. He is an expert at making sad eyes to lure someone in. You know that because you have been a victim of it. But Jimin's eyes always had that little spark in them. Something that gave away his act and highlighted the mischief brewing within them. Something that let you on the fact that he's only pretending to be sad. 

However, now that you look into his eyes, they just seem dull. Making it seem like Jimin is sad, maybe for real this time.

You ignore the urge you feel to comfort him and maintain a blank face. Why should you even feel bad for choosing yourself? How many times has he thought or cared about his words and how they have made you feel? How many times was he there to wipe the tears that he made you cry?

Not even once. 

You may be someone who's tough and headstrong but you're also just as soft and loving on the inside. If you give in now and comfort him just to see him happy, you know you will be repeating the same cycle with yourself. And it would be so damn toxic.  

"Are you really not going to talk to me?" He whispers, in a soft voice. 

"I don't want to, trust me." This time your voice is not cold. This time you sound like you. The you, Jimin is familiar with. You don't even seem mad. And that's exactly how Jimin knows that you mean what you're saying.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has had a tough week. 

Nothing out of the ordinary, perse. He has been going to parties, has been getting drunk and has been the same him. But maybe that's exactly why he is having a tough time. Because despite doing regular 'Jimin' things, he hasn't been feeling like himself. 

He doesn't even know what's wrong. Or maybe he does, he just wants to ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. That he's fine. 

He does his classes and tries his best to focus on the material that's being taught but somehow or the other, he zones out. 

But it's not like it's a big deal. It's normal and all cool. He's fine. 

During football practice, he misses the opportunities that present themselves to him as if he's a blind man. 

But again, that's normal, right? Even the best of players make mistakes. Who's Jimin to not make one? It's fine. He's fine. 

During lunch, he accidentally puts pepper instead of salt in his food. But that's also normal! Nothing out of the ordinary. 

He's fine. 

He repeats these two words in his mind as he makes his way to the next class. However, he is met by a sight that has his steps halting.

It's you. 

You have your head thrown back and you're laughing at something your friend said.

The scene causes a stir of emotions inside him. 

One of the first things he feels is longing. Any other time he would deny it with everything in his being but now that you're in front of him like this, he simply can't. He misses you. He misses talking to you. He misses teasing you. He misses how your nose would scrunch up in annoyance. He misses the way you would chew on your lower lip to hold back from smiling. 

He misses everything about you.

The next emotion that hits him is anger. Here he is, feeling like he can't act and function normally without you, and there you are totally unbothered. 

The thought also scares him. What if, what if you just don't care about him anymore?

If that so happens to be the case, Jimin at least needs to know for sure. He can't be going around like this with a hole in his chest and having unanswered questions in his mind regarding what exactly happened for you to suddenly cut him off like this.

So, the next thing he knows, he's walking towards you. Ignoring the surprised look on your face, he grabs the courage to speak. 

"Can I talk to you for two minutes?"

You look at your watch simply because you need to make an excuse as to why you can't give him the two minutes. "Sorry, I have to head for my class."

Jimin nods, having expected something like that. "We can talk while walking. I'll drop you to your class."

"You don't need to–"

"I want to," he cuts you off with a determined look on his face, not willing to take no for an answer.

Truth be told, you have no intention of talking to him. But somewhere, at the back of your mind, you're curious as to what he might have to say. After all, after one whole week of Jimin not trying to bug you, you had honestly assumed that that was the end of whatever friendship (if you can even call it that) you two had. 

Jimin takes note of the indecisive look on your face and before you can come to a negative decision, he takes hold of your hand and gently tugs you to a side. 

"What–"

"I am sorry but I had to," he says with a tone that conveys nothing but sincerity. 

You're half pissed at Jimin's behaviour but you ignore it nevertheless, thinking that whatever it is that he has to say, it must be serious. Because you have never seen Jimin being like this before. 

"Whatever you want to say, make it quick," you say with a sigh. 

"Why are you cutting me off like this?" Jimin's words are out of his mouth the moment he knows that you're ready to listen to him. It's like he has been waiting for ages to ask you this particular question. 

Your brows furrow for a split second before you scoff. "Is that what this is all about?"

He is confused as to why you're looking at him as if he has asked a really stupid question.

"Yes?" He responds hesitantly. 

You sigh once again, this time much louder and in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this," you mutter to yourself before looking at Jimin and he does not miss the gleam in your eyes. 

"Let me spell it out for you, you were an asshole to me," you state, your voice having a certain hint of anger to them. 

"A-Asshole? How?" He stutters, looking even more confused than before. 

"You knew I had feelings for you, but you couldn't give two shits about it. I had no issues with you not liking me back, but rubbing all your sexual escapades on my face, and flirting with me is a total disregard and disrespect to how I feel."

"I didn't–"

"It doesn't take much for someone to realise that. Anyone with the minimum common sense can figure that out for themselves. But just because your feelings have always been shallow does not mean that the people around you are shallow as well."

There are a lot of responses that come to Jimin's mind but he knows none of those are good enough.

"Do you know how much of a fool I felt when you were being ignorant of the fact that I am a person who feels? I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn't even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve."

Each word of yours hits him like a bullet but he thinks this has been a long time coming. He is willing to take as many hits as it requires, but he just hopes this is not the end. That somehow he gets to redeem himself. No matter how difficult it is. 

"But at some point, you realise that you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you. I know how I deserve to be treated and it's obvious that you don't know how to treat a woman with respect. Hence, I'm afraid we can't be….friends anymore." 

You paused briefly before using the word friends as if you were not even sure if that's what you two were. And it sure as hell, makes Jimin feel shittier than he did moments ago. 

Oh my goodness, he really has messed this up, hasn't he? 

When you turn around to leave, Jimin doesn't stop you, knowing very well there's nothing much he can say to prove that you mean much more to him than what he has made you believe. 

So he lets you go. 

But only with the intention of earning your forgiveness.

Kim Taehyung

February

Tae 🐻:  did you reach home?

You: yes, just did!

Tae 🐻: i see

Tae 🐻: take rest and sleep well

Tae 🐻: also, i got a little something for you 

Tae 🐻: *image attached*

On clicking the picture, you're greeted with a small little teddy bear that looks adorable in every way possible.

It brings a smile to your face and there's a part of you that knows that it's his way of apologising for the dimmed smile you had throughout the day. His words may have been upsetting but at least he knows the effect they have had on you. And you know he's sorry for it. Mayhaps, that makes it a bit easier for you.

You: it's cute 

Tae 🐻: i know 

Tae 🐻: that's exactly why it reminded me of you 

You chuckle and shake your head softly.

He never leaves a chance to flirt.

--------------------------------------------------------------

April

You: you won't believe what happened

Tae 🐻: what

Tae 🐻: What

Tae 🐻: WHAAATTTT

You: a cat just snuggled against me.

You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

You: like i used to be so scared of them 

You: but now i think they are just soft little balls of fur

You: now i want a cat for myself

Tae 🐻: this is so cute for some reason

Tae 🐻: i can just imagine your bright excited smile *sighs*

Tae 🐻: I'm glad you are not scared of cats anymore 👍😌

Tae 🐻: but but but 

Tae 🐻: idk how to feel about you getting a cat

Tae 🐻: what if you get one and then your whole attention is on them and then you forget about me 👉👈

You: 🙄

You: is this supposed to be a joke?

You: can i not have a bear and a cat at the same time???? 😒

You: also, don't worry i doubt the cat can ever get as annoying as you're 

You: so in a way, you'll always be special 😌

Tae 🐻: uhh thank you

Tae 🐻: that's very reassuring 🤗💖

You: well why, you're welcome 🤗

-------------------------------------------------------------------

July

Your phone rings making you alert of an incoming call. Checking the screen you realise that it's Tae. 

"Hello?" You greet in a sing-song voice, your mood suddenly turning bright.

"Hello, my lady," he greets back in a British accent. "How have you been?"

"Same old, mate, same old," you sigh, mimicking his accent. "Work has been hectic."

"It's even worse that I haven't seen you for so many days" he huffs, his accent gone and voice sounding whiny and complaining. Something that makes you think he has a cute adorable pout on his face.

"I know, work decided to be the biggest bitch ever," which is why you and Taehyung have not been able to find free time to spend with each other. 

The lunchtime for his department changed, making it impossible to have lunch together. Your department has way more workload than his does and as a result of which, you always have to stay back at least an hour to complete your share of work.

Taehyung doesn't wait for you or for your work to get done. And in a way, you're glad. You can't imagine how tiring it can be to wait a whole hour after a full day of work when you know you have the option to just go home and lay in bed and do nothing. 

Everyone deserves good rest and sleep after spending a whole day in front of a computer and that includes Taehyung. You'd never expect him to wait for you or do anything that would be at the cost of his discomfort.

Anyways, it's not like you and him have been out of touch. You text him about every silly little thing that would occur throughout your day. It could be a lizard staring at you intensely as if judging the way you're brushing your teeth, and Taehyung will be the first person to know about it. Hence, yes you do miss his presence physically but your days have been filled with him. 

You both have chatted for hours on end, sometimes via text, other times on a call.

This time is no different. You two end up talking for a whole hour before, he says something that ends with your heart skipping a few too many beats.

"Hey man, I won't say I love you on the phone," he jokes, but there's just something in those words that tells you he knows this isn't just a joke. "That's not fair to the both of us."

It is said out of nowhere, yet it fits the context of the conversation as well as of the situation you both are in. 

"Umm, w-well, say it in person I guess." Your cheeks warm up, a bashful smile that is so incredibly shy at the same time, adorning your lips.

"So I will," he whispers as if even though you two are only connected via call, he knows how gentle this moment is and what it means to you.

And then, the conversation is loud again. You with your silliness and him playing along with it and laughing loudly at your antiques.

----------------------------------------------------------------

September

"Why do you look down?" You query as you munch on popcorn.

Taehyung shakes his head, denying anything's wrong. "Nothing, I just feel tired, I guess."

Bullshit. You know Taehyung well enough to know when he's lying. His eyes just twinkle in a certain way as if on alert about being caught. 

"Do you want to leave?" You whisper, paying mind to the people around you. The last thing you want is the people in the movie hall shushing you or glaring at you.

He shakes his head, again. This time more vehemently. "No, I want to watch this movie with you."

You sigh but then speak in a gentle tone. "You know you can tell me right? Anything that's bothering you, you can tell me."

Taehyung looks at you and there's that certain look of vulnerability as if he's scared and worried. But whatever it was that he was looking for, he finds it in your eyes. It makes him decide that yes, he can be honest with you.

"Remember Kira? I saw her today and I guess it just triggered something within me."

Kira. 

How can you forget that name? 

Two months in your friendship and the both of you had discussed your lists of shitty exes and Kira was a topic discussed in detail.

Kira was his first and only girlfriend whom he loved a lot. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs but he never let it come in the way. He was there for her in ways you only see in movies and shows. But alas, things did come to an end. 

What hurt Taehyung more than the relationship coming to an end were the comments made by Kira. She didn't stutter while saying that he's just not the kind of guy she's into. He isn't bulky or muscular. He laughs too much and smiles easily. He isn't intimidating and is very gullible and naive. 

That...that was what broke him.

You remember the day he told you about Kira. It had made you so angry. How could anyone ever say something like that about a person? If you're not interested you're most welcome to leave but why go an extra step to be an asshole and scar someone? 

What was worse was the fact that you could tell Taehyung believed in those words. He thought they were a down point to his character and that it made him unlovable. 

It's also since that day, that you have developed this protectiveness over him. He may not see it but he deserves the absolute best. He deserves to know that it isn't difficult to love him at all, in fact, it might just be the easiest thing in the world. 

But right now, you know that her words from the past are probably being repeated in his mind over and over again. Hence, it becomes your goal to make him see that those words are not true. 

"I understand why it may have been triggering for you," you comment taking hold of his hands and playing with his fingers. "But I assure you, she was only being a bitch because she knew she losing a gem."

Taehyung smiles a smile that does not reach his ears. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm not done yet."

For the first time this evening, the briefest spark of amusement enters his gaze. 

"I know she hurt you, but if you need a reminder that what she said to you was total bullshit, I'll serve as one."

Your voice comes out firm but there's that tone of love and affection to it, that is simply unmissable.

"People say and do mean things and they hurt us. But their choice of actions and words define them, not us. At some point, you have got to stop and realise that you can't keep hurting yourself because of what someone has said. It's difficult to do that, I know but that difficulty is worth it. You are worth it."

A small, tiny smile appears on Taehyung's lips at your words. Before he can get the words out to express his gratitude, you're speaking again.

"Also, all those things that she made you feel were unlovable about you, make you just that much more lovable. Because that's what makes you, you."

Once you're done, you feel the insecurity hit you that you may have been a little too passionate or that you went overboard. But Taehyung resting his head on your shoulder and muttering the softest of thank you's makes you relax. 

And that's how you watch the rest of the movie. With his head on your shoulders and him constantly wanting some part of his body to be in touch with yours.

---------------------------------------------------------------

December

You were promoted. 

You won't say it was out of the blue, you had seen it coming. Despite that, being recognised and awarded for your hard work, felt nice. 

But your promotion also meant you were now working in a different branch of your office. Same city, a different building. This also meant the chances of you and Taehyung meeting in between work had slimmed down to zero.

But again, it didn't seem to affect the bond you two shared. You two chatted with each other about your day almost regularly. It just didn't feel right, without telling him about the itsy bitsy details of your day-to-day life. 

It was your second week in the new building and by now you had become comfortable enough with the group of fellow employees you were mingling with, for them to ask the very important question. "Do you have someone special in your life?"

The question was asked in good spirits, with raised eyebrows, teasing smiles and mayhaps with an underlying hope that the answer to the question would be 'no' so that they can set you up with the company sweetheart Jeon Jungkook, who you have a hunch, has a crush on you.

Nevertheless, the question makes you stutter. 

It's not a difficult question to answer if the answer is a simple yes or no. But in your case, it's not so simple. It's complicated. 

But how do you explain it to them? 

You don't even know where you and Taehyung lie. You both have never directly addressed the feelings except once or twice. But what does that mean now? Do you two fall under the category of "more than friends, less than lovers"? 

You don't know.

You don't know if he still has feelings for you. What if it was just a phase and now all that you two are is just good friends? What if you're the only one who keeps thinking of the time you had confessed and what if you're the only one to whom the moments spent with the other, mean something special? 

But what if the opposite is true? What if he still has feelings for you, what if it wasn't just a phase? What if the moments spent with you, mean something to him as well?

Gosh, this indeed is complicated.

You take a deep breath and conclude that irrespective of whatever his feelings for you may be. You're someone who cares for him. A lot. 

You don't want to be someone who hurts him, ever. Knowing of the few instances that he has been hurt and the way he has been hurt, you never want to make him feel like he failed at love again. Or that, he isn't worthy of love. 

You don't want to assume that Taehyung has feelings for you. At the same time, you don't want to assume that he doesn't. Because you know, if you assume that he doesn't have feelings for you and act accordingly, and then it turns out that he still did, he will feel crushed.

"Let's just say, I do have a certain someone," you answer with a shy smile.

Your new coworkers look disappointed for a brief second, most likely because now they won't be able to play matchmakers but the disappointment is soon replaced by excitement. 

Multiple questions are thrown your way to know about this special person and you spend the rest of lunch trying to answer them as swiftly as possible.

--------------------------------------------------------------

February

You: why the 🙄 next to her name?

You ask in reference to him re-posting a status update of a co-worker on Whatsapp. Something about company lunch.

Tae 🐻: cause she's annoying! 

You: lmao why so 😂

Tae 🐻: oh boy she has no respect for boundaries 

Tae 🐻: her jokes are in such poor taste and inappropriate

Tae 🐻: it's just annoying and hence would explain the emoji choice

You: damn 

You: that's harsh 

You: but I'll trust your judgement

Tae 🐻: as you should, yes 😒

You: but this has me curious, if you were to put an emoji next to my name, what would it be? 👀

Tae 🐻: damn that's a good question

Tae 🐻: let me think

Tae 🐻: How about this one? ✨

You: huh? 

You: that's kind of unique 

You: why that one though?

Tae 🐻: because you shine, duh

Tae 🐻: and you light up every room you walk into 

Tae 🐻: and this ✨ just suits you 

Yet again, you feel the familiar warmth in your chest that at this point is just very common every time you talk to him.

But that doesn't make these little moments any less special for you.

------------------------------------------------------------

March.

Work was extra tiring today. You couldn't catch a breather. Couldn't even go to lunch. Stayed back after work till eleven.

And now here you're, finally home.

While having your ramen, you decide to respond to texts that you haven't and so open WhatsApp. 

Once done, you check through the status updates of people. It's always nice to know what fun people have been up to while you were being drained of all energy.

However, you frown when Taehyung's status appears on your screen. There are a few paragraphs written about love and how it can change the way you view life. When the next slide appears, it's a picture of him with a girl. He has his arm casually on the girl's shoulder as they smile at the camera. That added with the heart emoji as the caption causes a weird nervous sensation in your stomach. 

You type out a question as a reply to his status.

You: what is all this about? 😂

You add a laughing emoji next to it just to make sure you sound casual and curious.

Taehyung so happens to be online and his response comes quickly.

Tae 🐻: did you not see my status updates? 😂

Tae 🐻: I'm in a relationship ☺️

And just like that, your hands start shaking and the food in front of you gets forgotten.

Jeon Jungkook

It's been almost a month since you confessed to Jungkook. 

During the first week, you tried to reach out to him because you were so angsty to just get some sort of response. You didn't care if it was in the negative or was harsh. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than him just straight out ignoring your presence as if you never existed. 

You just couldn't understand. Did the friendship you two had mean nothing to him? Did you ever mean anything to him? If you did, how could he possibly treat you this way? Did you not deserve at least a proper explanation as to why he was doing what he was doing?

But after a week, you gave up. Your hurt turned into anger. You didn't care what his possible explanation could be. You did deserve better than this. So you ultimately stopped trying to reach out to him.

It's not like it doesn't bother you. Sometimes, it still does. But the difference is, you have stopped expecting anything from him. And that admittedly, makes it a little easier for you.

"What are we doing today?" Namjoon asks with a bright dimpled smile as he took his seat on the chair. 

"Four short interviews and then a late-night show," you reply, quickly opening your pouches to get out the brushes. 

He sighs. "Another round of answering what our love life looks like."

You snicker, finding it hilarious how done he looks. "Another round of you answering on behalf of the team that you all are a little too busy to find time for dating."

Namjoon shakes his head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know English." 

The thought makes you laugh with your head thrown back.

"Well I can't imagine anyone else being the spokesperson, it would be damn funny."

You really do think that would be the case. Each of the members has a very distinct personality and just imagining what they would be like, is nothing short of amusing to you. 

Your amusement, however, dwindles when your mind comes up with the question about what Jungkook would be like if he were the one translating other members' words into English. But then your mind leads you to imagine how cute his English is, despite being broken. And then your heart ultimately shrank and you had to remind yourself to not think of him.

Namjoon seems to notice your distress and quickly changea the conversation to something else. 

Thankfully, it works. There are no other sad moments where your mind goes to Jungkook and you find yourself enjoying your conversation with Namjoon and that was more than enough. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It's three in the afternoon, you conclude after checking your watch. Which means another interview left and after that the boys can rest, until the late-night show of course. This also, means that there's another hour for you to just relax in the AC room. After that, you will have to get to work to remove Namjoon's makeup.

You lay down on the sofa and scroll through Instagram. What's better entertainment than this? 

Your fingers get to work and start scrolling, one meme after the other. Some you find hilarious, some you need to read twice to get and some you simply roll your eyes at. But you guess, that's just how memes are.

However, it's after a few more posts that you find one which simply makes you blink in disbelief. 

It's a picture from the news outlet dispatch. The picture in question is of Jungkook's with his arms around a woman. On reading the caption you realise that the said woman is, Niki from the girl group JION. And to no one's surprise, the photo has caused a stir on the internet and apparently, everyone's talking about it. 

You exit Instagram and open Google. You search for Jungkook and Niki are immediately met with a bunch of articles. Each of them discusses their possible relationship and whether or not they are dating. 

When you feel like you have had enough of the sick churning of your stomach, you close all apps and just shut your phone. 

Wow. 

This is something.

It leaves you perplexed and with a bunch of emotions, you have no idea how to deal with. 

Was he already seeing the woman when you left that note? Gosh, if that's the case, it would be so embarrassing. 

Is that why he thought it would be best to just get rid of you? Was that why he made that sudden move out of nowhere? Couldn't he just tell you that he is dating someone else? Learning this from a news outlet, for every reason, feels painful.

It's not even the fact that he is dating someone. It's just the fact that you both have become such strangers that he feels like a distant person you once used to know. All because you decided to trust him with your feelings.

But most likely it didn't matter. Your feelings didn't matter. You're someone who's always behind the scenes, someone who no one knows. But him? He is the world-renowned artist. He is the one who earns in millions and has an army of fangirls, quite literally. Why should he waste his time caring about how you feel? More importantly, why did you expect him to? 

It was undoubtedly a mistake on your part to have trusted him. As they say, expectations lead to heartbreaks and maybe you had to learn it the hard way. 

But that doesn't mean the pain is anywhere near acceptable. You needed a way to vent your anger, so you do the only thing that comes to your mind.

You block him on all social media sites.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks since the rumour about Jungkook and Niki dating begun and it's still all over the net. Why, you ask? Because the two people involved in the matter aren't helping their case at all. 

They have been spotted several times together and thus have been fuelling the rumours further. 

It angered you. Weren't idols supposed to be very careful about their relationships? Why were then, these two, flaunting their relationship for the world to see?

You're aware you sound bitter and ridiculous because no one should have to hide if they are dating someone but you just can't help yourself. No matter how hard you try, news about Jungkook and Niki would somehow or the other appear on your feed, be it on insta or Google. It just became unavoidable as these two were everywhere.

The comments didn't help either. People adored them. 

Apparently, these two were the perfect match for each other. Both maknaes of their individual groups and both fan favourites. 

It made it suck all the more for you. 

Argh. 

"Have you seen my chapstick?" Namjoon asks as soon as he enters the room. "Hobi just lectured me about how I should always keep my lips moisturised." 

"It should be in the drawer," you reply and get up to look for the chapstick. "Let me check once."

As it turns out, it indeed was in the drawer. You hand the small tube to him and as soon as you take a seat again, the door swings open to reveal someone you would have never imagined seeing. 

Niki.

"Namjoon oppa," she smiled, putting her dimples on display. "I was looking for you."

Namjoon turned around at the sound of his name. His expression too turns into that of surprise when he realises who it is. "Niki! I didn't know you'd be coming."

Huh, makes the two of us. 

The two idols chit chat and you ignore all of it. Simply, because they seem to get along really well and if there's one thing you know about Namjoon it's how protective he is of all the members. But if he likes and approves of Niki, well you guess she and Jungkook might just be the perfect match. 

It's not like Niki totally ignores your presence. She shoots you a smile that's sweet and warm, and you smile at her right back. Your's looking a tad bit less sincere.

Thankfully, whatever conversation the two of them were having soon comes to an end and Niki leaves the room. 

As soon as it is just you and Namjoon, you blurt out the question you have been wanting to ask for a long time. 

"Are they really dating?" 

Namjoon doesn't seem too surprised by your question, if anything he looks like he expected it. However, he does look hesitant to answer. "Umm, yes they are."

Shit. 

You don't know why you had to ask the question but you did, and now you got your pretty little confirmation and now you're hurting again. 

Well, shit, indeed.

But but but, why was Namjoon hesitant to answer? Was he perhaps aware you had feelings for Jungkook? Had Jungkook told him the reason of requesting a change? 

Fuck, you should really have kept your curiosity to yourself because now your mind is running wild and it's not helping you at all. 

"But, I don't think it's anything serious," Namjoon adds after a beat of silence then nods as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to say.

It makes you even more paranoid that Namjoon knows about your little more than crush on Jungkook and it makes you want to flee from the spot. 

"Uhmmm, I need to pee," you squeak out and immediately shut your eyes because gosh that was stupid. 

"Uhh, okay." Thankfully, Namjoon isn't weirded out by your silly choice of words. Instead, he looks amused and there might have been something else in his gaze but you are too embarrassed to take notice.

You quickly leave the room and rush your way to the washroom. As soon as you're in, you splash your face with water.

What the fuck? Does Namjoon know? Does it mean that the other members know too? How are you ever going to face them again? 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is no good. You should have never confessed. You should never have listened to those excited beats of your heart and to those fluttering butterflies. Look where it got you.

"Don't worry about it, babe. It's all cool, it's all under control now." A voice reaches your ears from one of the stalls in the washroom. 

You assume the woman must be talking on the phone and you ignore it.

"Yes, I know how you feel about it but trust me this whole thing with Jungkook should be over in like a few weeks."

Now, that has your ears all perked up in attention. 

"You know, I don't even like him like that."

What. The. Fuck. 

"I'm not mad at you for it, relax babe, I love you."

And just like that, you hear the toilet flush and the doorknob jiggling followed by Niki stepping out. 

You pour the liquid soap on your hand and wash your hands with them just to look like you weren't eavesdropping on her conversation with her babe. 

Although, could it really be called eavesdropping when she was speaking so loudly? 

Thankfully, Niki doesn't find your behaviour suspicious and leaves the washroom with a small smile lingering on her lips. 

Uhh okay then. 

This is something. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the shock dials down and you could think, you knew you had to tell someone. 

You don't know what and how to say, though. You can't just claim that Niki is cheating on Jungkook, despite your initial assumption being that. Because people call their siblings babe too right? Or their best friends? Yes, you can't just assume that she's having an affair behind everyone's back. 

But what you're plenty sure of and have heard Niki admitting is that she does not have feelings for Jungkook. What the heck is going on then? 

Before your mind can start running in circles, the door swings open announcing someone's arrival. Much to your relief, it's Namjoon, someone you can be honest with, without worrying about the technicalities. 

"Listen, I need to talk to you about something," you say, your voice coming out nervous yet firm.

Namjoon takes notice of your nervousness and smiles at you warmly, hoping to put you at ease. "Sure, go ahead."

"I went to the washroom and uhm, I heard Niki talking on the phone about something and I think you should know about it."

A small frown appears on Namjoon's face because of all things, he did not expect that what you had to say was anything related to Niki. He, however, keeps quiet and gives you an encouraging hum to go on. 

"I–She told someone over the phone that she doesn't really have feelings for Jungkook."

Namjoon looks as shocked as you had been but his shock wears off much much quicker than yours did. 

For the first time, he looks a little awkward having this conversation. Scratching the back of his neck, he gives you a small awkward chuckle. "I see what you're saying."

Your first thought to this reaction is that he does not believe you. It would make sense for that to be the case if Jungkook really had told Namjoon about the note. But that does not mean you don't feel incredibly offended and hurt right now. Just because you liked Jungkook does not mean you'd be lying. Is that how much faith Namjoon had in you?

"I'm not lying!" Your voice doesn't hide the emotions you're feeling, not that you were trying to hide them anyway. 

Namjoon's eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant."

You cross your arms and look at him with a scowl, refusing to believe his words. "What did you mean then?" 

He yet, again looks a little sheepish as he answers, "It's just that I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything to me," you reply without missing a beat. "This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Jungkook. Tell him that this girl probably has some ulterior motives or something. Save him from the heartbreak he will inevitably go through when he comes to that realisation himself."

"You're right, that's exactly what I should do." Something in Namjoon seems to click and he nods. "Wait, I'll be right back."

Just like that, he's walking out in a hurry leaving you all alone in the room. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's been fifteen minutes since Namjoon left. 

At first, you were walking with hurried steps from one end of the room to the other but then your anxiety got too much for you and you decided to sort out the skincare items and put them in place. 

Productivity is better than burning calories by walking in circles in a room. Right?

You were only putting the new moisturizer in the drawer when someone clears their throat to announce their presence. 

It rightfully startles you and you let out a small yelp. 

However, when you realise who the person standing in front of you is, it makes your stomach sink. 

Jungkook. 

The same Jungkook you have been avoiding for weeks. Not that it was difficult though, he had never really made any effort to reach out to you. But whatever. 

You swiftly look away from him and get back to work, not wanting to pay him any attention. Why should you? You're not his makeup artist anymore, he does not have any business to be here. 

"Umm, I need to talk to you about Niki." 

You don't respond.

Your silence is met with a sigh from Jungkook. 

"Hyung told me what you heard Niki say. Ummm can you please not share it with anyone else?" 

Maybe it was something about the way the words were phrased but they did not sit well with you.

Your hands pause and a scoff of disbelief makes its way past your lips. Is...is that what he wanted to talk to you about? 

That too, of all things to ask you to not tell others about it? As if you had told Namjoon about it to spread some sort of gossip. The only reason you bothered with it was because....well, you were worried for Jungkook. 

But imagine caring about someone despite being treated the way Jungkook treated you and then that person coming to talk to you for the first time in weeks only to tell you not to get involved. As if it was by choice. 

One thing was for sure, you were this close to letting out the words you have been holding in for a long long time. Your position as a makeup artist be damned. 

"It's just that if word gets out she will be framed as the wrong guy."

She....she will be the one framed as the wrong guy? And you being the one who could potentially do it, doesn't make you sound like the villain? What he's saying is you could do something that could end up making Niki the victim.

That's it. You have had enough. 

"Do you even know what you're saying?"  You speak the words out with your tone laced with every bit of anger you have been keeping in for weeks. 

Jungkook winces. "I do–"

"Let me finish. I have no business telling people what I heard Niki speak on the phone with lord knows who. Heck, if I was selfish I would have just stayed out of it because who's gonna believe my words against those millions of articles and fans shipping you two? But the only reason I thought you should know about it is because what if you really loved her or something? Knowing it later when you're much more invested would be way more painful and crushing." 

Something enters in his gaze but you're too furious to notice or to even pause to give him the time to form a response.

"Not to mention that you treated me like trash. Didn't bother talking to me. Changed your staff without giving a proper reason. Heck, I might just be a make-up artist and you might be a world-renowned artist but I thought we were more than that," for the first time since you started speaking, your voice goes quiet. "To me, you were more than the idol everyone sees. Maybe that's why I assumed I was also someone more than just a make-up artist to you."

"But I guess I was wrong," your voice cracks and as soon as the sound of your wavering voice reaches your ears, you know it's time to shut up. Because no way in hell are you going to cry in front of Jungkook. 

But somehow that single voice crack says a lot.

You have seen Jungkook cry in pain and frustration. You have seen him laugh until his stomach started to hurt. You have seen him drink until he's all giggles and smiles. Those moments had led you to believe that you two were friends, at least. But then if you two ever were friends, he has disrespected that friendship way too much for you to be calm about it.

Jungkook looks at the ground as if it would magically give him the answer to the question of what he should do now. When it doesn't, Jungkook battles himself and ultimately decides that it's best for him to simply say the truth.

He has complicated things enough.

"Niki and I aren't dating." 

------------------------------------------------------

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