#!!! venting

[emsleyanbluejay]

do trans men and mascs categorically internalize and enact the patriarchal role of cis men, or have you just met the assholes that exist in every group and are theorizing about experiences that aren’t yours again?

[d3vdgvrrll]

i wanna cut myself i want to smoke i want destroy everything and it’s not because im sad its because i can’t handle the fact tht my body is so disgusting im so fat im so ugly i have an awful face an awful body i wanna be a man i wanna be pretty i cant even believe this shit why did i get triggered by seeing someone trans acc pass i hate everything. i can never transition i can never do anything ill be a girl for the rest of my life and i am okay with that im not a boy im a girl im a girl im a woman im cisgender im a girl im a girl.

[nofuckingideawho]

I hope you forgive me for ruining everything

[softness-and-shattering]

And if a site or app or service doesnt need your phone number, it needs your email address. Remember when you made a site account on the site? You gave it a USERNAME and a password and you could log in from anywhere. Now if I want to do anything at all I have to give them my email address so they can communicate with each other and see what else I use the email for so they can make a profile on me. I go to do rabdom shit and get jumpscared by a popup asking if Id prefer to sign in with facebook, or with google? I shouldnt need to hand over my details to use eg map my run. There is NO reason they NEED my information.

And half the time youre worn down you look at the app, it wants access to absolutely everything on your phone including location data.

I had a game I used to play, it was basically pay to win but enjoyable enough without microtransactions. One thing I prized aboit thid game is that it didnt have ads. I could play while listening to whatever I wanted. Then they added ads and now I was interrupted every 3 minutes, cant chill out playing it to my music anymore. Recently I was downloading something and the app store said try this game. It looks like a peaceful calming game. I look at the reviews. "This was my favourite for years it was my quiet ppace now you have added ads and made it unplayable it is now obnoxious rather than chill".

And before I worked out ad blocking, youtube ads were enraging and breaking of focus and a genuine accessibility issue for me.

Why *dont* we do forums anymore? Are they harder to set up or maintain? Forums were great. And searchable. And you didnt lose a conversation in the scroll. What stopped forums?

I don't know I'm not done talking about it. It's insane that I can't just uninstall Edge or Copilot. That websites require my phone number to sign up. That people share their contacts to find their friends on social media.

I wouldn't use an adblocker if ads were just banners on the side funding a website I enjoy using and want to support. Ads pop up invasively and fill my whole screen, I misclick and get warped away to another page just for trying to read an article or get a recipe.

Every app shouldn't be like every other app. Instagram didn't need reels and a shop. TikTok doesn't need a store. Instagram doesn't need to be connected to Facebook. I don't want my apps to do everything, I want a hub for a specific thing, and I'll go to that place accordingly.

I love discord, but so much information gets lost to it. I don't want to join to view things. I want to lurk on forums. I want to be a user who can log in and join a conversation by replying to a thread, even if that conversation was two days ago. I know discord has threads, it's not the same. I don't want to have to verify my account with a phone number. I understand safety and digital concerns, but I'm concerned about information like that with leaks everywhere, even with password managers.

I shouldn't have to pay subscriptions to use services and get locked out of old versions. My old disk copy of photoshop should work. I should want to upgrade eventually because I like photoshop and supporting the business. Adobe is a whole other can of worms here.

Streaming is so splintered across everything. Shows release so fast. Things don't get physical releases. I can't stream a movie I own digitally to friends because the share-screen blocks it, even though I own two digital copies, even though I own a physical copy.

I have an iPod, and I had to install a third party OS to easily put my music on it without having to tangle with iTunes. Spotify bricked hardware I purchased because they were unwillingly to upkeep it. They don't pay their artists. iTunes isn't even iTunes anymore and Apple struggles to upkeep it.

My TV shows me ads on the home screen. My dad lost access to eBook he purchased because they were digital and got revoked by the company distributing them. Hitman 1-3 only runs online most of the time. Flash died and is staying alive because people love it and made efforts to keep it up.

I have to click "not now" and can't click "no". I don't just get emails, they want to text me to purchase things online too. My windows start search bar searches online, not just my computer. Everything is blindly called an app now. Everything wants me to upload to the cloud. These are good tools! But why am I forced to use them! Why am I not allowed to own or control them?

No more!!!!! I love my iPod with so much storage and FLAC files. I love having all my fics on my harddrive. I love having USBs and backups. I love running scripts to gut suck stuff out of my Windows computer I don't want that spies on me. I love having forums. I love sending letters. I love neocities and webpages and webrings. I will not be scanning QR codes. Please hand me a physical menu. If I didn't need a smartphone for work I'd get a "dumb" phone so fast. I want things to have buttons. I want to use a mouse. I want replaceable batteries. I want the right to repair. I grew up online and I won't forget how it was!

[borderlesbian]

me fighting the urge to be such a bitch to someone bc i'm overstimulated and anxious

[jewishvitya]

"Those people believe x. We know they're wrong because y, but here's how they got to this point."

"So you think x!"

"No, I'm explaining what they think."

"You're making excuses for it and arguments that support it!"

"I'm laying out the arguments they give. I'm not making them, I'm showing them. I broke down why it's wrong and how it became a prevalent view."

"You're an x-apologist!"

Right, sorry, my mistake. Those people don't have a distorted worldview that leads them to cruelty, they're just evil by nature, their essence is darkness and violence, there's no humanity in them, go ahead and fantasize about wiping out whatever population you marked as bad. Didn't mean to interrupt your fantasy. I can see you're quite attached to it. Go on, advocate for whatever useless violence you think should happen in retaliation. I thought violence should be a horrible but sometimes-necessary tool, but it can be a goal, that's fine too. Everyone needs a dream I guess.

[hel7l7]

Sorry, I didn't text back. Everything has been a lot lately.

[emerald-jade-tears]

i just want texts again…

Sometimes I forget that I have no real friends and go on my phone expecting something; I don’t even know what, maybe them texting me first for once? Someone actually caring? Someone being interested in me or my life at least a little?

[iknityounot]

Listen I am not going to name anyone specifically, but pattern makers need to talk to one (1) fat person before they can post their patterns online.

I am so sick of finding a cute pattern, getting all the supplies, checking my gage, and starting to knit, only to find that my sleeves are a foot longer than a normal human because the pattern maker just multiplied all their numbers by 10 when they sized it up. I can't believe I have to say this but, just because my ass is fat does not mean my arms go down to my knees???

[k3t4min5]

i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest

[emerald-jade-tears]

i’ve told my mom “i need help”

so

many

times.

but nothing happened.

then i get bad grades

a bunch of friends drop me

and i take naps

and suddenly i have “changed beyond recognition”

and she wants me to “go back to who you were”

Mentally ill person: I need help, I’m getting violent thoughts

People who are (sadly) in positions of power: No you aren’t lol

Mentally ill person: I need HELP!! I’m scared I’ll act on them!!

People who are (sadly) in positions of power:

Mentally ill person: *becomes violent and acts on violent thoughts*

People who are (sadly) in positions of power: Mentally ill people are so violent oh my god they’re all horrific monsters what the hell why or how would anyone do this??

[emerald-jade-tears]

i’m copying someone else because i can.

if this gets 1,000 notes (it won’t happen i am doing this to prove my point to myself) i will possibly talk to my mom or someone about getting help/push harder to get therapy

i just saw someone else do this and i am curious what will happen if i do this

[stvrlightbpd]

bpd is not knowing if you’re a good person or if you’re a bad person and you’re just gaslighting yourself to believe you’re a good person.

[isaiditspossible]

Joss deserves a bit of verbal ass-whoopin even though some twitteroni's screenshots you shared are either blatantly lying or being misleading on purpose, but what's the point of sharing those infuriating tiktokers takes on Gawin? Why give clout to people who are obviously either very stupid or very malicious? Now Gawin is getting hate for being a professional actor who earned this role by winning audition. What's Gawin supposed to do according to these people? Refuse the main role in MGB and Only Friends and stay jobless forever? Leave GMM? Change Joss' politics? Real talk, have any of you ever tried and succeeded at changing political leaning of your coworker? Well, try that irl and see what happens! Now, I can't help but notice your seemingly neutral, but low-key strange jab at Gawin for him not being vocal about issues online. Are we talking about the same Gawin who is known to be chronically OFFline since... forever? Gawin who disappears from the world for months, sometimes a whole year, and his fans wonder if he's alive? Gawin who only remembers his password when P'Tha puts a gun on his head? Seriously? Why can't one of the most inoffensive guys in GMM just be left alone? And funniest (actually saddest) part, people are now sussing him because he spent a few years in high-school in Pennsylvania?? And because apparently (according to you) he's hanging out with GMM gym bros?? The "bros" I've seen Gawin hang out in gym with: Dunk, Book, Arm, Off, First. Are we even serious here?? Maybe I'm too sensitive, but it's honestly hurtful when someone like Gawin, who's never said or done anything wrong or offensive, gets dragged for no reason whatsoever. Just leave him out of this sh*t and let him be his awkward introverted self in peace. Thanks and goodbye

Hi Key, your post is the second I've seen that hinted at Joss but without further explanation. He generally has a positive public perception and I only know him from 3WBF (which I liked), so I'm curious where this shift in perception is coming from recently.

Would you mind making a post or directing me to where I can learn more about his general...situation.

I apologize if this is intrusive since I know you don't like to engage in Fandom Drama and like to keep your space positive, but I don't have XTwitter and his Tumblr tag is usually quite dead.

Thank you in advance!

Why I Don't Fuck with Joss: An Extremely Academic Essay of Words and Screenshots

Hi Anon!

I normally would have DM'd you an answer to this, but since you sent the ask anonymously and you were very kind in how you asked, I didn't want to ignore you.

However, two things:

I do generally make it a policy to keep my negative personal thoughts about certain actors to private conversations or, y'know, Discord servers, just to keep it off public platforms where toxicity is already rampant. In this case, though, I think the situation is interesting enough to comment on. (Plus, y'know, I'm amazed he was even managing a comeback when he's been known to Be Like This for years.)

I didn't get a lot of primary sources for this post because quite frankly I don't like Joss and I don't want to look at his face any more than I already have. However, friends who've been following this more closely than I have were able to verify that there are sources out there for everything I'm going to mention. Just, y'know, don't use me or this post as a source. This isn't one of my Citations Included Posts, this is just a Why I Don't Fuck with This Guy Post.

So, for context, I made this post last month, and someone made a more explicitly worded reblog here that's honestly better if you're going in without any context.

Essentially, Joss has had a dodgy reputation for years, but I think because fan turnover is high in interfandom and he's never been in a BL series before, most interfans just know Joss as A Tall Man Who Likes Sportsball.

But when I got into Thai BL back in 2020, Joss was one of the first actors I heard of as ~Problematique~ so I looked into him, and what I learned made me go, "Ew," so I just keenly ignored him from then on. (General gross stuff like the Domundi boob-grabbing prank and some assorted Dudebro comments about women. I don't remember specifics anymore because he was barely on my radar, but a friend at the time who'd been in fandom longer basically told me, "Yeah, that's Joss, lol.")

Interestingly, before JossGawin became a thing, most interfans were rooting for JossLuke, but I think given how vocally left-leaning Luke has proven to be, I wouldn't be surprised if Luke saw the prospect of tying his public reputation to Joss and went, "lol no goddamn thank you."

Gawin, on the other hand, seems to be down for whatever GMMTV wants him to do, so he probably just sees Joss as a colleague he makes out with (acting is a weird job). He went to high school in western Pennsylvania, he has white relatives on his dad's side, and he hangs out with the Gym Dudes of GMMTV, so I'm sure he's completely desensitized and is one of those guys who thinks, "Nah," but doesn't go so far as to say, "Not cool, dude." The Gawin Caskey Method seems to be: throw a basketball, make out with a dude on camera, go home and eat an edible. Dismount.

Unfortunately, even though Gawin's never really made any political statements or taken any major stand for the queer community, he's gained goodwill that some people are now calling into question because of Joss.

Anyway, apparently Joss used to follow Andrew Tate on Twitter until Tate was suspended, so it seems a lot of people assumed Joss unfollowed Tate, but yeah, between the sexist comments, Boobgate, and admiring Joe Rogan, that was enough for me to physically recoil from the screen when I saw the teaser for MGB.

Okay NOW, everything from this point onward is new stuff I've learned over the past month that made me go, "Oh. So he's worse now."

Joss has apparently had that Joe Rogan quote pinned to his Twitter account since 2020, but people just shrugged it off because they like his man stomach or something? (I don't find him attractive, but even if I did, I truly don't understand how he made it this far. It feels like he's been pretty firmly canceled every year since I got here, honestly.)

I also didn't like him weight-shaming Gawin. There's some older clip of him calling Gawin fat, and I know in Asia it's more common to comment on other people's bodies and weight, but I also recently found out that he got Gawin a meat cake for his birthday because idk actual cake is for pussies? (Sorry, Anon, I was trying to aim for an objective tone but I abandoned it because I reeeally don't like this man.) And apparently a lot of JG fanservice is just Joss and Gawin at the gym so Joss can teach Gawin self-control or something? I've had their tag blocked from the beginning, so you'll have to look into that if you're curious.

Ah, and at some point in the last few months, Joss was apparently asked what his "type" is and he said something like "white, skinny English-speaking Europeans/Americans"(?) Which apparently made Asian women go, "Hey, c'mere real quick: good. Bye."

I also thought it was a huge red flag that Joss has been in the industry for years, and his domestic fanbase is still quite small. Others have pointed out that very few fan interactions with him are in Thai, and he's clearly courting a western audience both in his individual engagement and by partnering with a mixed American actor. When he did the LGBTQ+ panel last summer, apparently the reaction from Thai commenters was, "lmao why Joss?" not, "Oh yes, of course, Joss!"

So it seems like GMMTV has been trying to do a rebrand for Joss using Gawin and interfans more generally since Joss speaks English and interfans don't generally seek out the resources to do research. Remember last year when GMMTV announced that Y-MIND script competition? It was originally domestic only, but after Thai fans overwhelmingly went, "The contract terms here are wildly exploitative, so fuck off," GMMTV rereleased the promotional material in English and went, "HEY INTERFANS WANNA SEND US STUFF :D?"

That told me they really don't think especially highly of us.

On December 15th, someone pointed out that Joss didn't just follow Trump on Twitter, he also followed a ton of extreme alt-right accounts on Instagram. Not normal political figures, either. Obscure figures like Pearl, Candace Owens, that guy who was saying Your Body My Choice, and Andrew Tate's right-hand man, and more! Some of his fans tried to point out that he follows progressive Thai politicians, but as far as the American side, he only followed alt-right conservative accounts with zero liberal accounts.

Though, in fairness, someone did point out that Joss also follows famous progressive Democratic figures [checks notes] comedian Chris Rock and basketball player Stephen Curry.

So. Whoohoo for that, amirite?

Since Joss's fans weren't having much success defending him on their own, they threw some @'s at his account to get him to make some kind of statement that would somehow explain away why he was following a deep, deep alt-right fanatic like Pearl. (Spoiler: He didn't.)

The JossGawin International fan club even released the above statement to address the issue, then received such alarmingly vitriolic backlash from the JossGawin fandom for "betraying" Joss that the fanclub decided to deactivate entirely. (I have no idea if they reactivated or not, since I stopped keeping up with this whole debacle shortly afterward.)

One Thai(?) JossGawin fan actually seems to have used ChatGPT to create an English comment to chastise the fanclub for their lack of support in Joss's dire times:

Amusingly, rather than address his fans' concerns or unfollow any of the accounts causing the chaos, Joss instead just started deleting any comment on his Instagram that called on him to comment.

Five days later, he unfollowed 137 accounts. No idea how many of those were alt-right extremists and how many were just extra padding to make it look like a general cleanse, but it was at least fifty last I heard, and the fact that 1) it took him nearly a week to do anything but delete the comments calling him out, and 2) his first tweet after this whole mess was a quote-retweet of GMMTV's message welcoming Barcode into the company saying, "lol this kid looks like if me and Gawin had a baby" just goes to show how unthreatened he feels.

After all, Joss has been this way for years, and his upcoming series with Gawin is probably going to do numbers regardless. He's successfully rebuilt his stagnant career off the support of interfans, and he knows he'll be fine.

Even Foei has a show with Tay! We're all good here. \:D/

So yeah! That's why I don't fuck with Joss. \:D/

This'll be the last I say on Joss publicly.

I just figured I'd make one all-encompassing post so I can link back to this in case anyone asks why I'm not supporting any of Gawin's projects with Joss. It's a shame because I do really like Gawin, but this isn't even a hard choice for me to make.

Oh, and while we're on the subject: the director of MGB, Ark, is also Not a Good Dude by all accounts I've heard from multiple people who've interacted with him privately. I mean, he sure is queer, but he's also said to be a misogynist with some white-people-worshipping tendencies. He doesn't have the highest opinion of BL fandom in general, either, especially when you look back on his whole direction of IT'S NOT A BL Shadow. Just, y'know, another reminder that queer people aren't Virtuous or Evil by nature. We're a big ole clusterfuck of nuance, so you don't have to support MGB for Ark just because he's a queer man. I have zero proof that I can share publicly, so you don't have to take my word for it. Just, y'know, in case you were on the fence, I've heard he's a dick.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go write absolutely filthy gay porn to purify myself from writing Joss's name so many times.

[nofuckingideawho]

no no no no no no why did I do that fuck