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Hi guys, so I won't be as active anymore. I'm in a terrible place right now (which is pretty obvious since I'm on edtumblr in the first place). I don't have anything to really say on here anymore, so I guess I just won't be active

If I do post it's probably going to be a vent or some rant since I literally have no one to talk to in real life. If you're not here to listen to someone vent/rant I recommend just unfollwoing me lol, since that is one of the main reason I even made this account

Oh also, my sister found out I was on ed twt so I definitely won't be active when I'm around my family (which is a lot)

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oh my God real

my biggest mistake with this ed is that I lose some kg and feel skinny and pretty so I stop caring about not eating and start living my life mindlessly and gain back the kg that I lost and go back to where I started

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I just binged. I hate myself so much right now, I don't know why I do this to myself over and over again. I don't even know why I'm still living, I'm fucking ugly and fat, there's no reason I should even be here anymore. I don't know how many calories I had, but I'm not letting myself sleep tonight, maybe I can try and burn off the calories

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After three days of eating because I was sick and now my collarbone isn't as visble. Why do I keep on doing this to myself? I hate it. I hate it so much and I regret it. I'm sorry I ruined my progress

I'm not excited for my trip anymore, it's in 8 days now and I'll have to be eating during the days that I'm there. I'm starting to wish I was never going even though my family is doing it just for me

I'm going to skip Halloween and Thanksgiving(Oct14) this year, just to pay for what I've done now, because at this point I don't deserve anything

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I'm so sick right now and I still have 10 days left of my fast right now (im 10days in). I can barley stand up/move, I feel like vomiting, I can't sleep at all and my throat hurts like hell. All I can do right now is lay down, but I can't even lay down in my favorite positions since they make me feel like vomiting, oh I've also been sleeping on my floor since I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in my bed that doesn't make me wanna vomit

My mom won't let me skip school or my art class, makes it 10% worser

Edit: I did end up breaking my fast because I really need to get better before my trip to Vancouver

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Pants getting loose is so fun but also unsettling like wdym I used to be fat enough to fit into those?

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I would look so much skinnier if I didn't have boobs

I just wanna cut them off so badd

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7 days in, 13 more days until I can break my fast...

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I gained weight in a my lower legs. I feel so sad, but I guess I should've expected this. I've struggled with binging/overeating ever since I did my very first 20 day fast. I haven't done a long fast like that in a couple of months (I'm doing one now though). I'm praying that with the workouts and my fasting that I'm doing I'll get skinnier legs again. I just feel so disappointed in myself that I let myself go like this

Also sorry I haven't been posting lately, I am in a terrible place right now, plus I have school work to do

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I always think about the time I did my first ever 20 day Fast. I was so sick and weak, but I miss it so bad

Luckily I am doing a long term Fast right now ^_^

unfortunately i do infact miss when i felt like i was gonna collapse from malnutrition

i’ll be back soon though, trust

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I always make my Ocs my gw/ugw, like it's oddly motivating for me

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If you guys have a air fryer I recommend making roasted vegetables in them! Its low cal and it tastes really good ( you can even put spices on them if you want )

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My mom forced me to break my fast again. I'm actually about to kms, like I'm so close to just ending it all, I feel like such a disappointment to myself

I might not post for a while

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No joke but, I think I'd rather be ugly and skinny then ugly and fat, like at least I'll be treated a little better..

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Me, my mom and my sister are going to the movies tomorrow and I'm scared that my mom is gonna make me break my fast while we're there. I'm praying that she won't though (ノωヽ)

Also I get the break my fast a day right before I go to a weezer concert LOL (concert is on Oct 5)

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Since I'm fasting right now I thought I might as well give some tips out!

Something I do is write down what I'm craving!

If I'm really feeling hungry I brush my teeth since it temporarily stops hunger

I always find tons movies/shows to watch during long term fasting to keep myself busy, or I even play new games

Make a inspo bored on pintrest of thinspos, or make a bored of the clothes you wanna wear at your gw!

Try putting on a show/podcast/music while working out to make it more fun

Sorry I didn't put a lot of tips! And sorry if some/none of these work for you, these are just things that personally work for me! (ᵔ⩊ᵔ)