#zack snyder did everything right

[hcfiles]

"Agree. Evidence she showed none. But, maybe there was no time. After the statement that impressed and called attention to the page, someone else could have assumed her place before shutting the page down."

How can someone else have assumed her place? I'm sorry girl but that's a big reach. The Account is gone but if the Woman was real why didnt she make a new account and post EVIDENCE as soon as possible? Was she ever "seen" again on any platform? No she wasn't and there was never a picture or any evidence. I'm trying to stay calm and be nice to you because you have a right to your thoughts but dont you think these thoughts go a bit too far? How many celebrities have to deal with made up accusations? Justin Bieber, Ricky Martin, Johnny Depp, Nick Carter and his brother, Michael Fassbender, Armie Hammer (partly), Drake Bell, Jonathan Majors, Chris Evans and his Wife and so many more, there are "expose accounts" for almost all celebrities....When Warhammer was announced I remember a tweet from a female Journalist, she said "many Journalists will dig deep into Henry's Life now to find something controversial, something they can "expose" him with". Because Warhammer doesn't fit Hollywood's agenda and new woke politics. Nothing was found so far!

Toby Emmerich wanted to get rid of Snyder and the Snyderverse ( including Henry as Superman) since 2017. After the Justice League failure. But Henry had a movie left on his contract...Emmerich offered him a small cameo in Shazam. Dany Garcia declined the offer because she, and that is my personal opinion its not a fact, wanted Henry in Black Adam for years. There was a rumor Emmerich was furious about it, he apparently said " as long as I'm running WB, Henry will never be Superman again". Emmerich is a pos, btw like all Studio Bosses. Warner Brothers used some news outlets to do hit pieces on Zack Snyder, Ezra Miller and Ray Fisher ( after Ray accused them of racism). The Superman recast was always a problem for WB because the fans are very passionate about Henrys Superman and the Snyderverse and yet WB, Emmerich, Journalists never found anything on Henry. There was never a hit peace against him from Warner Brothers. After he left the witcher someone (nobody knows who) tried to smear him but why was it done anonym? On a shady platform like demoux? It is proven they post stuff all the time without checking for facts first. If there is something on Henry why has nobody been able to expose it yet? And Im talking about the official way with an actual person behind the accusation not some "anonymous sources". Henry's Team and Management isnt that powerful to prevent something from coming out trust me. Henry may work in Hollywood but Hollywood never liked him because he never fit in. Most of the time he stays in England not in the US. He doesn't attend much Hollywood Events, After show parties, red carpet events and so on. He's getting work in Hollywood but look what kind of work it is, with directors he already worked before. Directors who like him and want to work with him again but he doesnt get a role in a Martin Scorsese movie for example. Henry doesnt belong to the inner circle of Hollywood. He left a "popular" show on Netflix, wants to do Warhammer that is full of everything Hollywood hates, he stood up for fans.....! Do you know Stephen Baldwin follows and likes Henrys posts on IG? He's exposing Hollywood for quite some time now but he seems to like Henry. Long Story short, there are definitely people ( certain WB Executives, Witcher Producers (Lauren)) who would love to see Henry getting cancelled. I think Lauren would do anything to save her show but coming out with an accusation means you need to have evidence of your claim and so far...nobody seem to have anything on him. If the Witcher smear would have been true why was it not stated by Lauren herself or her producers or the writers or even Netflix? Why was cast and crew coming out speaking well of Henry as they did for all these years? He even got a goodbye ceremony with Netflix flying in Henry's Superfan, Rory. Anonymous sources can not be trusted and not be taken as facts thats for sure. Nobody knows if in the near future someone with a face and name will accuse him of something BUT that didnt happen yet and it's more than wrong to hope for it like you do. And please dont deny it, all your posts are clearly hoping he did something wrong and thats why he needs this pr relationship, you desperately want to be right about him. That there is a dirty secret but you dont see that you literally hope hes a bad person, maybe even an abuser just because you can't stand his relationship. Im just a fan, i dont know him personally either but at least I dont hope hes a horrible dude. I want to believe in the good in people and as long as there is no serious accusation with evidence against him I and many other Fans have a right to believe he's a good Person, a right to believe he didnt do anything wrong.

Wow! I have a lot to answer:

a) "How can someone else have assumed her place?" - Simple. Once his team got to her (or him - we naturally assume it's a woman, but it could be a man), they could have bought her silence, assumed her page for a while to discredit it until it was taken down.

b) " Why didn't she make a new account" posting evidence? - If her silence was bought, she probably signed a non-disclosure deal. But, evidence...? Of what? The "accusations" she made were related to his Character and attitudes mostly and talked about a supposed freaky sexual taste. There's nothing criminal about it nor to be turned "evidence". Unless, other real lovers come public.

c) "I'm trying to stay calm and be nice to you." - What does that mean? Is that a threat or you just have a short temper? Losing your mind for a celeb you say you don't know? Careful! If you are so convinced of your favourite celeb's perfection as you say you are, why lose your temper with "nonsense" from a stranger in T? I am really surprised how people go so far to defend a celeb they say they don't know based only and exclusively on his public life. Honey, it's Hollywood! Nothing is what it seems. If you don't know the guy there's no way to know anything about him, only what he wants you to know. And these people have a different mindsetting. They don't care for bad publicity as long as they are in the spotlight.

d) "Don't you think these thoughts go a bit too far?" - Not really. Henry Cavill opened the Pandora box when he agreed to be put in this situation. He was always dubious motivating doubts in his fandom and gave us quite a show to entertain. We are just giving him the feedback. Of course, it wasn't the one he expected. You can manipulate the crowds, but there's no guarantee it will react the way you expect.

e) You name a few celebs here saying they had to face "made up accusations". Well some of the ones you named aren't saints and not all the "made up accusations" are actually "made up". Celebs are not God's above good and evil. We have been having many examples of that, lately. And "expose accounts" are part of the deal of being a celeb.

f) You say journalists (I say just curious) said they were going to dig Henry's life to find dirt and that nothing was found. I disagree. To work in this Entertainment Industry you need to be aligned with its mindsetting. If you are not a freak, you, at least, see what goes on, you deal with the freaks, you know who is who and you know who does what, remaining silent, for you don't want to lose your celeb status nor the fame and money that come with it. And being a Hollywood escort promoting promiscuous to boost an image is not exactly an example of dignified professionalism.

g) But, yes! I do believe there are abusers, CEOs in this Industry pissed with Henry, because he doesn't bend easily to them. I know he's a different kind of celeb and that's why he is restricted to action movies and directors he knows and has worked with. That's why he's fighting to become a producer (or, at least, have the title). But, that doesn't mean he's a perfect saint, a God above it all, because it's clear he accepts being subjected to a few ... How to say,... Not very decent stuff in this Industry, for real roles.

h) And, Yes! Agree with your observations on the Superman x BA cameo deal, the resistance of some in production of Supes.

i) Again, I also agree with you about his behavior on the TW set. I really don't believe the rumours about him being offensive to colleagues somehow. He might have flirted with someone, though. He's a man, human. I also think that leaving the series was a decision involving a lot, such as the possibility of making another Superman movie (promise Garcia made him, allowed him to believe and announce without a signed deal).

j) And, yes! There are a lot of absurd rumours about him. But, that doesn't mean every single rumour is a lie. Again, celebs are not above the good and evil, they are not God's. They are humans with flaws, fighting desperately to create and keep a FAKE image to the public. A fake image they come up with to be adored, to gain a fandom that will make them relevant and boost their career. They only show fans what THEY want them to see and know. Their private life can be very different.

k) And the cast and crew will always say good things about colleagues. That's part of the job to promote the production positively and the environment they work in as healthy and cool. That's part of the job. If there's a suspicion of a problem among cast and crew, the production is fated to fail.

l) "Anonymous sources cannot be trusted and taken as facts." I agree. But they can be questioned and discussed. And that's what we're doing here.

m) " Nobody knows if (...) someone will accuse him of something, BUT it's more than wrong to hope for it like you do." - Apparently, you are hoping that doesn't happen, what indicates you are insecure in your beliefs. Don't suppose you know my intentions. You say I hope someone accuses him of something. No! I don't! First, 'cause I doubt there is something that terrible, like a big deal there. But, I do believe he's not the guy he sells. Behind cameras he, by free will, accepts ... Let's say, dubious deals performed as dignified in front of cameras to sell the image of the model Character. What I do believe is that he's a hypocrite, a pretender who used immoral PR strategies against his fans trying to manipulate the media, motivating hate on the internet by exposing a woman to public execration, to avoid accountability and negative exposure, only to protect and keep his fake image. I don't see such behavior as dignified.

n) I don't need to hope for anything. Reality speaks for itself. What's been happening for four years screams what I put here. I don't need to prove anything nor convince anyone. The situation speaks for itself: The woman chosen for the PR, her rep and exposure on the internet versus his rep and the image he sold for years, the immoral strategies used by his PR team, the desperate attempts of damage control, the intentional teasing posts they adopted, their insistence in motivating fans' negative reactions to, later, point fingers accusing fans of their stupidity, his lack of attitude towards it, his participation in this circus (true or false) that HE COULD HAVE KEPT out of social media, out of the tabloids and out of the spotlight to avoid all this, BUT DIDN'T.

o) "You hope there's a dirty secret, that he's a bad person, an abuser just because you can't stand his relationship". You couldn't be more wrong! And, I see you are here as a minion criticizing a page you actually don't follow. If you have read all the posts with an open mind and attention, you would know that's not right. The dirty secret can be a deal he accepted behind cameras that reflects his real Character, the way he thinks and really is, not necessarily a terrible misconduct. And, I don't believe he's a bad person, just a vain dude who put his vanity before his moral standards making bad decisions; that he was corrupted by the Industry he works for, because he was weak. Concerning this relationship, I really believe it wasn't a relationship, just a PR and I couldn't care less. He had gone through PR stunts/dates before and you have never seen me react to them, have you? He is free to date whoever he wants. And I even believe they got sexually involved during these years of shenanigans. After all, he needs to fulfill the escorting contract and it was necessary to be convincing. And, the baby belly was the cherry of the cake. They made so much effort to prove the relationship was real (and they are still trying unsuccessfully, with the help of stans like you, who can't stand the idea it is fake). Why? Don't they believe their own love affair? Why care for what we believe? Yes, because it was quite a show they prepared for us.

p) You are a believer. I'm happy for you. I hope you continue believing and fighting for him as I once did. But, unfortunately, events that were obvious to me, made me change my mind about him. There isn't any serious fact that makes him a bad person or a criminal. But, there's enough to have his Character and image questioned. Henry is not a brave, self-confident man. He's insecure and that makes him avoid being involved in criminal or very bad acts. But, if there's a chance to slip a little to boost his image and sell it as a man he's not for vanity, he will. Such as lying and pretending to be a promiscuous' boyfriend and her baby father, just to avoid exposing the biggest PR mistake in history.

[sassylittlecanary]

Ranking the Major Live-Action Superman Suits Since 1978

Because I have a lot of thoughts.

8. Superman & Lois (Tyler Hoechlin)

I adore this show, and I think Hoechlin does a fantastic job as both Superman and Clark Kent. However, I HATE this suit. SO MUCH. It just looks like a regular dude in a Halloween costume, and it keeps getting worse and worse with each season. I hate the muscle highlighting (it looks cheap and forced), the neckline needs to be lower and more square, the boots could be taller, the S shield is too small and way too dark, and the colors are too dark and faded. I genuinely cannot understand who thought this suit was ready for filming in any way. It is absolutely hideous, and I will die on that hill.

7. Superman Returns (Brandon Routh)

I like that this suit stays so close to the source material, but it’s just … off. It would be completely fine if it weren’t for several little things that combine to make it underwhelming. Firstly, the colors are off: On screen, the blue looks almost turquoise, and the red often looks brownish (just a few shades lighter and brighter would’ve been a huge improvement). The S shield is too small, and I personally don’t like how raised it is. The thing I hate the most is the neckline — it needs to be lower and more square. Show some collarbone and shoulders, you cowards.

6. Zack Snyder’s Justice League (Henry Cavill)

I know a lot of people really like this suit and its symbolism, but I have mixed feelings about Cavill’s suits in general. Personally, I prefer bright colors, and the fact that Cavill never got bright colors at all made the black suit just another dark outfit (and therefore less special, which harmed the intended symbolism). I appreciate the comic reference, but if the filmmakers really wanted to go for it, they should’ve traded the cape for a mullet (mostly kidding).

5. Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (Dean Cain)

I don’t really have feelings about this one. It’s the classic Superman look, and there’s nothing really special about it, but I don’t mind that. It’s cheesy, but I don’t mind that either. The show doesn’t take itself too seriously, and neither does the suit.

4. DCEU (Henry Cavill)

I was VERY torn about how to rank this one. The love-hate relationship is strong. Cavill looks good in it, but I honestly don’t like it that much. Even at the best of times, the blue is WAY too dark (I mean, sometimes it’s more black than blue). I resent Zack Snyder’s aversion to color. I understand they wanted to modernize the suit and get rid of the trunks, but it needs something red to break up the blue. Unpopular opinion, but I also don’t like the way all of Cavill’s muscles are highlighted. However, this is my all-time favorite Superman cape. It’s floor length and billowing and amazing, and for that reason this suit is ranked this high.

3. Supergirl (Tyler Hoechlin)

Now, if you want to ditch the red trunks, this is the right way to do it. The red belt breaks up the blue similar to how the old trunks did, the colors are just right, the cape looks good (although the material isn’t my favorite), and the size and design of the S shield are perfect. If the trunks have to go, this is my favorite suit.

2. Crisis on Infinite Earths Crossover (Brandon Routh)

This is perhaps the best modern Superman suit. It’s a lovely blend of tradition and modernity, and of course the Kingdom Come reference is awesome. Everything about it is perfect. I love it. It looks great on Routh, and the style and colors suit the character and context. I desperately want Routh to have his own Superman show and wear this in it.

1. Superman I-IV (Christopher Reeve)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for nostalgia. This one is definitely dated, but despite that, it remains quintessentially Superman. When I picture Superman, this is the suit I see. It’s iconic, it’s a near-perfect recreation of the comics, and Reeve wears it in a way that makes it real and authentic.

[earth-1218designate]

Deadpool & Wolverine #CVReview

At least the Can'nuck's did not kiss ... Is the perfect selling point of this movie. Other than that, for those of us 2000's kids who aren't mindless Disney shills (an odd amount of those in Knoxville,TN , yet they supposedly hate everything else liberals have to offer) that will laugh at every anti-FOX joke Ryan Reynolds had up his sleeve there is a great comic book film here that gives viewers a substantial amount of time with some memorable figures in their toy chest before laying them to rest for the horrors of adulthood that await them outside the theater.

I'm not into the nepotism that got Blake Lively the role as Lady Deadpool, or the gender swapping of Dogpool or Kidpook from the early 2010's "Deadpool Corps" comics, but it's easy to overlook that when the rest of the cast boasts the return of Wesley Snipes ("Blade") , (*childhood crush over that bousteir) Jennifer Garner ("Elektra") having a one-one with Callisto ("X-Men The Last Stand"), and Channing Tatum finally getting screen-time as Gambit for a film of his that never made it out of development hell.

I like the bow this film puts on that era that was dear to my formative years and made for an excellent companion piece to the books I still read today as I cross the threshold into my 30's. Marvel Comics and films have been synonymous since I was in diapers, and for a large part I have FOX to thank for that, and Disney to thumb my nose at - not the other way around like backwards normie euro-audiences are led to believe.

The nods to Wolverine's legacy in this film were superb : "Deadpool & Wolverine" is essentially built around the premise that Wolverine carried the FOX universe (aka Earth -10005) and he gets cameo appearances of his comic book counterparts such as Patch, AOA-Wolverine, Hulk No.181, Uncanny No.251, and even Fang.

All this homage while riffing on Wolverine's height and Hugh Jackman's singing chops as well as questionable morality when Disney money is brought to the table, it's a wonder why a film with Deadpool as the lead on the header isn't more about Deadpool, but it is and it delivers by making Deadpool one of the most annoying characters in a Marvel feature - which he is SUPPOSED to be.

While Wolverine is taking on Sabretooth and pulling out "Drill Claw's" straight from "Marvel vs. Capcom" (Earth-30847), Deadpool is making tone deaf homoerotic jokes that get less of a laugh than on Eminem's latest album and praising socialism in a few barbs that will zip right over capitalist consumerist audiences heads like the Rob Liefeld and Stan Lee easter eggs hidden in the battle against the Deadpool Corps featuring the worst excuse for a Deadpool ever ... Deadpool 2099 !

When "The Marvels" teased this film with Beasts' appearance, I really was nervous and expected very little. But I am happy that this film turned out to be a funeral for the best Marvel films purely off nostalgia - set to corny Euro-pop music (Madonna, Nickleback, and NSYNC get prominent placement all on the soundtrack of this action flick) while providing a gorefest with glory kills and brand new utilizations of slow motion that Zack Snyder is no doubt jealous of.

I've seen alot of clips loaded in action films as a movie buff, but I've never seen a clip loaded the way Deadpool did to face off against Wolverine in 2024 - and that's what the MCU was aiming for and delivered.

Cassandra Nova was a pleasant and surprising toy to pull out the Marvel toybox, I'd be remiss if I didnt say that. Cheering for her, the TVA, and the more baser and nihlistic stances of all the characters was a testament that Marvel raised me right - even though many people might think those of us who read comics keep our heads in the clouds.

No, "Deadpool and Wolverine" shows the world that even people who cosplay in a yellow and blue Wolverine suits can get pissed off at people who think it's okay to make decisions off of "educated wishes".

Yes, the film is still Disney-related and with it's ending featuring Deadpool still simping for Vanessa, amongst other things that make Deadpool unlikeable in this film, "Deadpool & Wolverine" is the worst Deadpool movie. But, with the nostalgia-fest added in thanks to Wolverine and the rest of the MCU rejects, "Deadpool & Wolverine" stumbles it's way into the MCU, but still falters behind far superior films like "Black Widow" or even "The Marvels" directly before it.

All that self-deprecation and self-referencing can get as old as Blake Lively before she decided to settle down with Ryan Reynolds.

Greed was a big factor in making "Deadpool vs. Wolverine" and seeing Reynolds' name all over the credits with Shawn Levy, made we wonder where did Tim Miller go? Because I know if he would have been along for the ride "Deadpool vs. Wolverine" would have been a worthy cap-end to the Deadpool franchise, than just used as a segue to eventually ret-con the X-Men into Earth-19999.

Which all the nostalgia from being a 2000's kid in the world cannot hide "Deadpool vs. Wolverine" from being that cheap. Even "Madame Web" had more tact than that.

-

C.V.R. The Bard

25th Jul. 2k24

[socratically]

Gatekeepers and Snobs: A discussion about Fandoms and their protectors

Or, How To Ruin Enthusiasm For A Community

Gatekeepers ruin everything; they will always be there, waiting in the shadows to tell you how you aren’t really that into something—or letting you know that what you like isn’t respectable enough to be a fan.

We have all experienced it, no matter what community it is, no matter what kind of fandom. You will always have someone trying to gatekeep what it means to be a fan—telling you the barrier you have to meet in order to “really” appreciate something.

“Oh, you’re a fan of Nirvana? name 3 songs right now.”

“You aren’t a gamer if you just play Animal Crossing and The Sims.”

If you follow me on @Threads, you may have seen one of my posts get a bit more attention than normal. In it, I discussed an interaction I had a few years ago with a coworker at an old job.

This seems to have resonated with a few people, and it’s easy to see why. Well, actually, it’s not because I don’t understand why people pay attention to me, but still—people have experienced this in a variety of situations. Hell, there is even a Simpsons character based specifically on this type of person:

“I’m not going to correct you, you should just read more comics and find out for yourself”

That sentence in particular is really what has allowed the interaction to remain in my mind for so long. The idea that I was either so wrong it would be too much work to correct me, or that I was such a “fake fan” I wasn’t worth correcting. In either scenario, it’s the wrong way this situation could have been handled, regardless of your vitriol for my admittedly bad opinion.

Geez Did They Miss the Point

Something that struck me quite odd, though, was how much of my comments section for that post was stuck debating whether or not Watchmen was a good movie or faithful. Perhaps it wasn't clear enough, but the point wasn’t about Watchmen at all; it was about the behavior.

I don’t care if you liked the movie or not. If you took my post about gatekeeping based on opinion and decided to be condescending about the opinion that was being gatekept? Guess what? you are a gatekeeper! Congrats!

It truly can’t be stressed enough that you are telling on yourself if you couldn’t move past the offhanded take. It was bait, and you fell for it. Just like Zack Snyder supposedly couldn’t understand the social commentary being told in the Comic Book when he made his adaptation, you too couldn’t pick up on the overall theme of the post. Stuck on the proverbial artwork in the background rather than the story on display.

The point of the post, and thankfully what was picked up on by plenty of folks, was the behavior on display. I was conveying an experience that ultimately hurt my enthusiasm for the medium while simultaneously discussing gatekeeping in general.

Enthusiasm, Not Disdain

When someone reveals to you that they are either not as well versed or just starting their journey into a specific fandom or piece of media, the correct course of action, if you think they are missing some crucial piece, is to respond enthusiastically.

Someone in the comments of my Threads post, who has since deleted their comment, so I am heavily paraphrasing based on bad memory, said something along the lines of “the barrier for fandom is too low. Too many people who have no idea about the material claiming to be fans. I’ve met Star Trek “fans” who didn’t even recognize the Original Series theme song.”

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[ordinaryschmuck]

The Mess of the DCEU-Chapter One: Rough Beginnings

Salutations. I’m an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories, reviews, and all that other yada-yada.

*Sighs* You know, say what you want about the MCU, but it at least started with an innovative idea. They wanted to make an interconnected universe of movies and TV shows that brought Marvel’s characters to life and tell an ongoing story that would lead to all these characters working together to stop a great evil. It wasn’t good ALL the time, but MOST of the time, it was. It told great stories, had cool action scenes, and introduced general audiences to superheroes they never heard of before. It might be a shadow of its former self NOWADAYS, but within those first ten years, the MCU accomplished something other studios could only DREAM to do. Unfortunately, innovation often breeds IMITATION, with the MCU’s success leading to people thinking “Oh, in order to make bank, we need to make cinematic universes too!” This led to several attempts to make interconnected universes and franchises, with studios desperately trying to copy the MCU’s homework without understanding how it did everything right. And there was no mess that tried way too hard and failed even harder than the DC Extended Universe. DCEU, for short.

Where the MCU succeeded in its ten years, the DCEU fumbled and grasped at any straw they could because they wanted to make something not out of innovation but competition…Well, for the most part. You COULD argue there were creators that wanted to make something that will help the DCEU stand out from the MCU, telling stories with a different tone and style that made the universe more unique. But the STUDIO wanted the MCU killer, which led to constant interference with creators and their visions, dozens of reshoots and rewrites, and so many bad decisions that killed the DCEU as soon as it started. How? Well, let’s go over it through phases, starting with the rough beginnings of this mess of a universe. 

In this period, Warner Bros wanted the DCEU to be a BIG hit with general audiences so they can catch up with Disney/Marvel. The problem is that they weren’t patient enough to lay out the groundwork of a cinematic universe and allow a clear, concrete story to be SLOWLY told over time. It’s like they bought this LEGO set and wanted to make it look exactly as it did on the box, but decided to toss the instruction guide away and start building at random. The results, as you’d imagine, weren’t pretty. And, to  be fair, it wasn’t HORRIBLE right away…depending on who you ask.

Spoilers down below

Man of Steel

DC’s first movie in this cinematic catastrophe was divisive among fans, general audiences, and critics. Some LOVED it, stating that it’s the best Superman movie, to this day. Others say they hated it, saying it ruined Superman as a character and it should be TOSSED into the sun. And while I wouldn’t say it’s THAT bad, it’s not…AMAZING either.

It should be worth noting that I’m not a particular fan of Zack Snyder’s style. He has his fans (Who act more like a fucking CULT), but it’s clear that his style doesn’t reach out for everyone and it doesn’t for me. Not…ALL of the time, anyways. For one, I don’t like the colors he uses. The rusty oranges, the stormy blues, the DARK BLACKS. It all just makes his movies look ugly to me, with people justifying it by saying these colors set the tone for a dark, edgy universe. And I don’t care what justification there is, if I don’t want to look at your movie, you’ve already failed the visual medium.

Then there’s his glorification of death and violence. Like, yeah, the neanderthal in the back of my brain can’t help but think of how cool it looks when Superman is throwing Zod and his goons into buildings and making shockwaves as they trade blows, but I can’t help but think of the people in those buildings and how wrong it feels watching our HERO drag the villain’s face across a skyscraper that collapses. You can say that it’s realistic for a Superman starting out to cause this much destruction, but it doesn’t stop how weird it feels watching him actively cause more of it instead of trying harder to steer Zod AWAY from the city they’re destroying. Just keep throwing him into space! You did it once, just keep doing it!

And this leads me to my last, BIGGEST problem with Zack’s style: He’s motivated more by what looks COOL. Why does the camera constantly zoom into one shot? Because it looks cool. Why does Superman destroy a city he’s trying to save? Because it looks cool. Why does Krypton look like an amalgamation of other sci-fi stuff, including birds from Avatar, genesis pods from The Matrix, and probably some secret third thing? Because those movies looked cool and they would make HIS movie look cool. And yeah. It IS cool. But after a while, when you catch onto it and THINK on it, it makes you wonder if any of it is really necessary.

Now, to be fair to Zack, there ARE some good stuff. I think Jor-El is handled well as an anti-thesis for Zod. The action, while unnecessarily violent, DOES look awesome and I do like the detail that Superman leaves soundwaves when he hits something that can take as much as he gives. It helps show the POWER of this character, and I think Zack understands well just how powerful Superman is. As for how Superman’s portrayed, I think he’s…mostly good. I love that our introduction to Clark Kent is him saving lives. That’s the best possible way to introduce us to him, and Henry Cavil does well enough sometimes in portraying the character. He looks the part, his voice matches how I hear Superman’s when reading comics, and there’s the occasional twinkle in his eye when speaking…Occasional. Not all the time. 

This brings me to the main issue with this movie: This is not the best portrayal of Superman. Zack Snyder went about  making a more realistic version of the character. One that’s more messy, is less of a boy scout, and can’t find an easy solution because it’s how Superman would exist in real life. And I am sick to DEATH of superheroes movies that try to go the realistic route. SOMETIMES it works, and you get something amazing like the Daredevil TV Series or The Dark Knight. Heck, you could argue that the first Iron Man movie is realistic, having Tony slowly build a suit and testing out each function while negating the suit’s more comic accurate craziness. I mean, the thing doesn’t even have roller blades, for crying out loud…Yeah, that’s a thing. Look it up.

But while a realistic superhero story works for SOME characters, it shouldn’t work for ALL of them, with Superman being the one you want to steer clear from being realistic.The guy shaves his face with his own heat vision because normal razors can’t even cut his beard. That’s a character that works best at being the most fantastical as possible. But if you WANT to make the character more realistic, then fine. Do it. Just as long as the character’s spirit is intact. Because superheroes change a lot, going through different phases and personalities due to the current writer at the helm. The best changes are the ones that offer different perspectives to the character, breathing new life into them, while still keeping their spirit alive. For example, the MCU may have made changes to Tony Stark’s origins and made him famous as the hero who revealed his identity to the world in an INSTANT, but the spirit of the tortured, cocky genius is alive in every appearance. Making Superman act more direct, having him actively break stuff for justice, and wearing a suit that lacks all forms of color is just…not Superman. He’s this bright, happy guy who you can go up and strike up a conversation with. A beacon of hope that shows the best side of humanity even if he’s not exactly human. Yes, there are days when he’s angry and destructive, but that’s only when he’s pushed past his limits and has no other choice but to go against how Ma and Pa Kent raised him to be. To go against that in his FIRST appearance feels like Zack’s shooting his shot too soon. We don’t get that much of an insight into the joyful boy scout Superman has been for decades, so by starting out with him being…not that leaves the impression that this is just how this version of Superman acts. There was never a chance for this character to be hopeful, which would be tragic if that was intentional. But for all I know, Zack did it because he thought it’d be cooler.

For all it’s worth, Man of Steel isn’t the WORST Superman movie, but it fails to grasp just what makes Superman the greatest superhero ever conceived. Zack still made a cool looking action movie that was entertaining if you don’t think about how many people died when Superman saved the day. Anything other than that? Let’s just say I hope James Gunn understands the character better.

However, as bad as this movie got, it had an audience. People loved it and were willing to see more. So, in a way, it’s not the worst start to a franchise.

No…That would be the NEXT movie.

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

…We all have that one movie that makes us angry. A movie that we could all rip apart because of how much it does wrong and personally pisses us off. A movie that clearly wasn’t made for us in mind, but doesn’t change the fact that, no matter what people will say, we’ll NEVER like it. THIS? This is MY movie…

POSITIVES FIRST: I like Wonder Woman’s entrance. The badass guitar riff never fails to get me pumped up and it instantly sold me on this version of the character. I like Batman’s suit. The small pointy ears, the beefy bat symbol, and the bulkiness of it all makes for a suit that screams BATMAN. And I really like that warehouse fight. You know, if I pretend that Batman ISN’T killing people in that, it’s a pretty awesome fight scene that shows how badass Batman is…And that’s it. Yeah, I can count on ONE HAND the things that I like about this movie. As for the things I don’t like? Let’s just say I’m genuinely trying to hold myself back from ripping this film a new one for the sake of time.

Remember how I said that Henry Cavil showed moments of that glimmer in Superman’s eye and the nice guy that he is? Yeah, that’s completely erased in this one. This Superman is damn near detached from any sense of joy and optimism, where if he isn’t feeling anger, he’s as emotionless as a plank of wood. The man will stand in the middle of a room that was blown to hell, and his reaction looked like he farted in church. There’s no shock, fear, or even sadness over the lives that died around him. He’s just standing there with an expression of “Oh, that sucks.” And when he DOES feel  sad AFTER THE FACT, it feels like he’s holding back what he should be feeling. Superman, as a character, is one who wears his emotions on his sleeve, yet he can’t even cry in front of his girlfriend, his true love, the woman he shares everything with. Don’t just show me a Superman that’s all powerful and can’t be broken easily. Show me a Superman that’s HUMAN!

As for the rest of his cast of supporting characters, let’s just say that Zack Snyder doesn’t seem to care much about Superman’s mythos other than Superman being the most powerful being in DC’s universe. Jimmy Olson, Superman’s best pal that’s his confidant and as important to him as Robin is to Batman? He gets a bullet in his brain upon being introduced. Martha Kent, Clark’s mother who made him the man he is? She’s relegated to a plot device that’s used to make Clark feel better and bring peace to Batman and Superman (Oh, we’ll get to THAT later…). At least Lois Lane has some plot importance. Yeah, she gets a whole subplot where she discovers that–LE GASP–Lex Luthor is the bad guy! Good job, Lois! You did something the other two meatheads could have done if they weren’t too busy planning on how to kill each other! But at least it’s something semi-important. Goodness knows you couldn’t do anything else like give this information to Clark to help investigate instead of focussing on Batman or getting a fucking STICK out of some water! But, hey, at least you figured out Lex Luthor was the bad guy…just in time for him to throw you off the roof so Superman can save you and learn that information for himself. Not from you. Because YOU’VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING! You are as useless as a semicolon! Any purpose you bring doesn’t mean shit when there are two more important things to use, you worthless–I’m getting mad…I’m getting mad…Let’s just move on…

Lex Luthor. He sucks too. It goes without saying that Jesse Eisenberg doesn’t really nail the cold, captivating, and easily threatening villain that is modern Lex Luthor. Even the campiness of early Golden Age Lex Luthor felt like more of a threat than this skinny little man-child who likes sticking Jolly Ranchers into the mouth of one government official and sending a jar full of piss to another. I have no idea how ANYONE could be threatened by this “villain,” who acts more pathetic than intimidating. As for his intelligence? Pfft. I used to think that his plans were stupidly complicated, now I realize that they’re complicatedly stupid. He wants to either frame Superman for murder or kill him. Except that when it comes to framing Superman, Lex Luthor leaves behind so much evidence that someone as pointless as Lois Lane could have picked up on it. As for killing him? He plans to bring out Doomsday, a creature too powerful and stupid to control that even IF it killed Superman…what happens next? What could stop this monster from going on a rampage and causing more destruction than Superman ever could? And the crazy part is that Doomsday is Plan B! Plan A was having Superman and Batman fight, something that Lex considers a win-win situation. Because if Superman wins, he’s framed as murdering a man in cold blood. And if Batman wins, then Superman is dead. It SOUNDS smart…until you realize that Batman is a crazed vigilante who branded criminals so they could die in jail. There should have been NO CHANCE for Batman to successfully kill Superman. Even if he had Kryptonite handy, there was no guarantee that Batman would win. And if and when Superman won, he would have killed a crazed maniac that some people would have been happy to see gotten rid of. I mean, if they already hate Superman killing innocent people, why would they hate him for killing someone insane? To quote a hero from the RIVAL COMPANY, Lex, “Not a great plan.”

And SPEAKING OF Batman…Zack Snyder screwed up. This isn’t the great detective who values life because of the ones he lost, to the point he would NEVER kill the Joker, not even on a bad day. No, no, no, this is a meathead who would sooner punch first, think later, and kill anybody who gets in his way. “But those people aren’t innocent–” Doesn’t matter! Okay?! It doesn’t matter what screwed up shit these people have done, Batman’s not the one to pull the trigger. He’s not even one to use a GUN! Guns killed his parents and it is a weapon he is so venomously against, large in part that he doesn’t trust himself to use one nonlethally! To have a Batman that kills goes against the core of the character. So why does Zack have Batman kill people in his movie? Because it looks cool. Wasn’t it cool seeing Batman blow up that car? Wasn’t it cool seeing Batman whip another car like a yo-yo? Wasn’t it cool to see Batman ready to stab Superman with a fucking STICK?! And yes, this is meant to be a Batman that was pushed to his limits due to a long life of fighting crime and the lives lost from it. The tribute to a dead Robin hints at that. But if you START OUT with that Batman, without showing us what he was like BEFORE reaching this point, it tells me that he was ALWAYS like this because there’s barely any evidence to the contrary. And the thing is that I would have actually liked this Batman more if we actually DID spend time getting to know him and seeing what broke him, but we don’t. Why? Because we needed to rush out a cinematic universe and start out with two of DC’s iconic superheroes fighting each other.

This movie came out around the same time as Captain America: Civil War. And to this day, I will forever say that movie did the superhero vs superhero movie better. Say what you want about its quality, but we at least got to KNOW Captain America and Iron Man. We got to KNOW why they’d pick one side and the other, with Iron Man motivated by guilt and Captain America motivated by a selfish desire to save the last connection to his past. And when they fight, it’s heartbreaking because it’s watching two characters you love going against each other. I feel none of that with this Batman and Superman. I barely know either of them, and their reasons for hating each other are vague and hypocritical. They’re not men with opposing viewpoints and morals. They’re both brooding, violent idiots who kill people, and hate the other for being the exact same person.

Plus, most of this movie isn’t focussed on that final showdown! Too much of it is setting up the Justice League and Darksied and all this other stuff that would have worked better if the studio took time to introduce these story threads! Civil War may have introduced Black Panther and Spider-Man into the MCU, but Black Panther went on such a powerful emotional journey that made his character a worthy addition to the story, Spider-Man has a long enough presence to feel like a character even if he’s an over glorified cameo, AND neither of them distract too much from the main conflict. The story is still about Iron Man and Captain America going against each other, showing so many scenes of them at each other’s throats before that final battle. Batman and Superman share ONE scene together, and it’s all we get before their big fight.

And when they DO fight each other, I can’t even appreciate how cool it is because of all these distracting questions in my mind. Like, why doesn’t Superman just hold Batman down and explain the situation? He clearly wants to try and convince him to help Martha and can easily hold him down. There’s even this moment when Superman holds up Batman and has the perfect opportunity to tell him what’s going on…but instead throws him through a building because it looks cool. And if Batman has this kryptonite, why did he waste it on stinkbombs and a FUCKING STICK when he could have used it to make bullets into the turret? There’s this argument that because the Waynes started out as hunters, Batman makes a hunting weapon to better prove himself. Fair argument, but you would think a hunter would have laid out better traps than sonic canons and bullets that do NOTHING!

But oh…we’re not at the worst part yet. All that other stuff…is frustrating, but it’s nowhere near as bad as what happens next. The worst part of this movie is something that’s been made fun of by everyone and their grandma. And that is the fact that the whole reason Batman stops wanting to kill Superman…is that their moms have the same names.

“IT’S NOT–” SHUT UP…Shut up…YES, it is. That IS the exact reason why he stops. People have argued that it’s because this finally proves to Batman that there’s humanity in Superman. It’s proof that he HAS a mom that he cares deeply for, just like Batman does…Except that doesn’t mean shit. Batman already assumed Superman had a mom–EVERYONE had a mom, literally speaking. YOU would not exist if not for some woman giving birth to you. And Batman knows this. He even says that Superman’s parents must have told him that he was meant for great things while swinging him around like a yo-yo! He KNOWS Superman has a mom…It’s just the fact that Superman’s mom is named MARTHA, reminding Batman of HIS mother who died that causes him to stop. The man who says that if there’s even a small percent chance that Superman’s his enemy, he has the moral responsibility to PUT HIM DOWN, gives up the second Superman says “Martha.” A name that 1 out of 4,575 girls, to this day, has. So, guess what, Snyder fans. The reason why Batman doesn’t kill Superman really is because their moms have the same name…GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ugh…This movie sucks. IT SUCKS! I’m sorry, it does! It’s not the WORST movie ever made–Fucking Freddy Got Fingered exists. THIS is not the worst movie in existence. But so  much of it makes me so angry due to plotholes, disservice to the characters and their mythos, and so much of it oozes with self-importance that it makes me sick. And just me ignoring the little things that tick me off (Why does Jonathon Kent have a different accent from the first movie). It’s a mess of a film that frustrates me to no end, and I really don’t want to see it again. You can’t make me.

But, regardless of how I felt, this movie made BANK. How? Well, either because superhero movies were REALLY big at the time this one came out, some wanted to see if it was as bad as their friend said it was, others wanted to see a bad movie to make fun of it, or were part of the select few who actually liked the movie. Regardless, it WAS a financial hit, so it still sort of justified that the DCEU needed to exist. And they already shoved in that weird Knightmare stuff and introduced the Justice League into a film that already had too much going on, so there was no backing down now. DC was desperate to catch up to Marvel, and they hoped that a movie containing DC’s two biggest characters to help advertise their big, cinematic universe would help. Unfortunately, critics' responses left DC a little scared, and they needed both critics AND general audiences to like their films to keep their money consistent. After all, audiences can eventually get bored rooting for a universe that’s too dark and grim. So, they needed to make some changes…But instead of improving on their mistakes made to set them apart from Marvel…

Suicide Squad

They tried to make a “Soulful Drama” funny so it could be like Guardians of the Galaxy. “Because people loved Guardians of the Galaxy! The talking tree and raccoon were funny! Surely making our movie funny would work too, right?” And trust me when I say that the end result was NOT worth it.

The crazy thing is that I can see BITS AND PIECES of what David Ayer intended. There are moments that seem like they could have worked and were ALMOST good if this movie held onto the same vision that Ayer wanted. There was this nice moment in the staircase between Deadshot and Harley Quinn that makes you think it’s meant to go SOMEWHERE or the backstory with Diablo that makes me think, “Man. If this movie took itself seriously, it might have been good.” Unfortunately, the studio didn’t want a serious movie. They tried that twice, and because Zack Snyder ruined the second try, it led to DC thinking they needed to be funny and exciting, just like Marvel. The end result is taking David Ayer’s movie and trying to make it mimic James Gunn’s style.

Did you know James Gunn likes to use licensed songs in his superhero blockbusters? Because he does. Except when he does it, it’s done with the intent of already having a song in mind and writing the scene around it. He doesn’t just pick a song from an iPod shuffle and insert it into the scene for no reason. Because that’s what I feel like the executives did here. They’re just a bunch of out of touch losers who still had an iPod shuffle in 2016 for some reason, picked random songs, and thought, “Yeah, that makes this scene cool.” It’s the only excuse I can think of for why the movie plays “Fortunate Son,” a song about Vietnam, to introduce Killer Croc. Yeah, the song SOUNDS cool, but it doesn’t match. And that’s the worst case. The best case is that you get “Super Freak” playing for Harley Quinn’s second introduction, taking a song that works surface level but isn’t strong enough to make it feel necessary to the scene. If anything, it makes it feel like a joke.

Speaking of, James Gunn LOVES making jokes in his movies. Part of what made Guardians of the Galaxy a hit was how hilarious it was with general audiences. Except he has a very specific sense of humor that works best through his vision and style of direction. Just look at the scene where Peter is trying to rally the Guardians to work together before fighting Ronan. It starts off with a ton of jokes, jokes that shouldn’t be funny but work because of the actors’ deliveries and the comedic timing of when they should say or do certain things. In Suicide Squad, all the jokes feel like they were jammed in with actors struggling to make them work because David Ayer wasn’t sure how to make them funny either. That’s because he wanted to make this a DRAMA, so when forcing jokes, there’s this fight to make it work without hurting the dramatic aspect of the film. Except that they do, every time. Going back to that scene with the Guardians, James Gunn at least knew to slow down when Peter Quill was getting exasperated and allowed a serious moment to build up as each Guardian decides they’re willing to fight…and ending on a joke about Rocket saying they’re all jackasses standing in a circle. It doesn’t sound balanced, but seeing it in action gives this sense that Gunn wanted to make a scene equal parts funny and dramatic, something that remains consistent throughout the whole film. David wanted a stronger lean towards drama, so when forcing in comedy it makes a lot of scenes feel awkward. Honestly, the only time I laughed was when Captain Boomerang cut and ran the second he was told he was free. That’s because he’s clearly meant to be the comedy relief character out of all of them and his action is consistent with his personality.

Then there’s the way this movie is cut. Scenes will just end shortly, randomly jump to characters doing something or NOTHING, and move on making the whole story feel incoherent. There’s this line about how something happened THREE DAYS AGO, but as I was watching the movie it all felt like everything was happening on the same day. And with how cut down this movie is, a lot of the characters don’t feel like real characters. The worst offender of this is Katana, who has this interesting backstory and could have worked well as the straight man to the insane criminals, but falls short because she barely has presence in the movie and her backstory is brought up in the last thirty minutes…and they do NOTHING with it, making you wonder why she was here. I’m sure David Ayer had SOME idea with her, but the studio’s interference caused Katana and others to fall to the wayside and cause the film to be a mess. And that’s just the stuff that’s the studio’s fault.

There’s other stuff that bothers me about this movie, and it’s hard to tell if David Ayer’s the problem or the studio. But some things feel like they were problems from the beginning, such as the premise. The whole reason behind this Suicide Squad is that the government wanted a team to take down the next evil Superman…So they got in people like Slipknot, a guy who’s special skill is climbing things really well. I’m sorry, I can NOT take this idea behind this team seriously, because nothing about it makes sense. What’s Slipknot going to do against evil Superman? Better question, what’s Harley Quinn and Captain Boomerang, the people who quickly lost to both Batman and The Flash, going to do against evil Superman? If the idea was that they were to fight “threats” to US territory and take care of things in a lethal manner because they’re SUPERVILLAINS and the government can always wipe their hands clean of them, it would have worked better. Having them fight The Enchantress, a cosmic witch who can turn people into silly putty with one kiss? It feels like too much for people whose main gimmicks are guns, boomerangs, and bat. A fucking BAT!

While we’re on the topic of Enchantress, she might be the most boring villain in the DCEU. Probably the most boring villain in any superhero movie. Her goal is world domination…like every other supervillain. Except that there’s no unique personality or interesting motivation behind it. Just…weird belly dancing and kissing soldiers into submission. But you know what? I’ll take her over Jared Leto’s Joker. You could not have a WORSE version of the character. His acting is awkward, his charisma is nonexistent, and his laugh–HIS FUCKING LAUGH! The Joker’s laugh is the most important thing to get right no matter what version of the character. It needs to feel haunting and maniac. Here, he sounds like one of those cow in a tin things having a stroke. The Enchantress is too OP and boring to be a Suicide Squad villain, but at least she’s serviceable compared to Leto’s Joker. And don’t even get me STARTED on what that fucker did behind the scenes to “get into the mind of a mad man!” Fuck Jared Leto and any other superhero movie he’s in! I don’t care if he’s better in the Ayer Cut, nothing justified the gross shit he did to the cast and crew!

Suicide Squad is an incredibly flawed film that I would HOPE is better in Ayer’s original version, but I have no way of proving that because it doesn’t exist. It’s a sad thing too, because there ARE parts of this film that could have been improved with time. The characters could have been stronger, the story could have been coherent, and the tone would have been consistent. The premise is weird and the villains are weak, but you don't know what kind of improvements can be made to a film if it meets the director’s expectations. It’s all unfortunately hypotheticals for now, but it doesn’t change how Suicide Squad is the third film in a row within the DCEU’s lineup that fails to genuinely be good. It got fans hoping, PRAYING that DC could finally have a good movie again. A movie that proves what makes these characters and their universe interesting while distinct from Marvel’s.

And in 2017, they…ALMOST got it.

Wonder Woman

According to general audiences, Wonder Woman was truly the first GOOD DCEU movie. It was inspirational, powerful, hopeful, and showed what makes DC and its characters amazing…and I fucking fall asleep almost everytime I watch it…*HITS DESK*

Although, what I just described is how people felt in 2017. I have NO idea what the reception towards this movie is like now in 2024 due to Gal Gadot’s current political beliefs. But to be fair to the film, no one could have expected that in 2017. This isn’t an Ezra Miller situation where they still released a movie despite it starring a literal maniac. So, let’s give the film the benefit of the doubt and judge it without the current political climate of the present day. And in that regard…I think this movie is boring…but not in the way you think.

I have this belief that a movie could be so good that it is dull. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, the story and characters are all fine and serviceable, to the point where you can absolutely see how someone could like it. The issue is that it doesn't offer an energy that grabs you. I feel this way with a handful of movies that, yeah, have nothing truly wrong with them, but don’t keep my interest as well as other films. And it’s the same with Wonder Woman. For the most part, I do say it’s a nearly perfect film that’s exactly as people described it…For the most part. We’ll get to that.

Positives first, the characters are all well-done. Professor Poison and that German General aren’t the best supervillains in media, but they offer some campy fun that makes them work. The group of men that teams up with Diana and Trevor are a tad bit underdeveloped, but have great chemistry and identifiable personalities that makes them a joy to watch. Then there’s my personal favorite, Steve Trevor, who acts as a great straight man to the wackiness around Diana, trying his best to be understanding and patient but constantly getting frustrated in a way that’s alway funny. And finally you’ve got Diana, whose fish out of water nonsense hits that right spot where it’s charming without overstaying its welcome, making you appreciate the naivety of a character who’s seeing the world for the first time and is filled with WONDER (Haha). As for her moments with Steve Trevor, I like it. Things get a little rom-commy at times, but it’s the right amount of cheese that makes these two adorable together. I genuinely love seeing their love.

But by far, the best thing about this movie is the No Man’s Land scene. This is the scene most people talk about when bringing up how great this movie is, and for good reason. Diana is seeing death and destruction everywhere she turns, with people telling her there’s nothing she can do and that she can’t save anyone. Only for Diana to go, “No,” and goes out to save everyone. This scene is everything that makes superheroes amazing. When a situation feels hopeless and there’s nothing a normal human can do, a hero is there to rise and be a beacon of hope to those who felt hopeless. It’s everything we as people wish we could be, to make a stand and save lives that need help the most. The No Man’s Land scene captures all of it, being inspirational, beautiful, and one of my favorite superhero scenes from any movie, not just DC…It’s also a bit muddled by Gal Gadot’s current political beliefs, but again, 2017. No one could have expected that.

One thing that people should have expected, though, is what REALLY ruined the movie: It’s ending. You see, the movie tricks you. It makes you think it’s building up to this message about how there’s no one bad person to beat to fix everything. There’s no divine intervention that leads humans to who they are, they’re just…like that, and to stop them means doing more than killing the big bad guy. It takes years of dedication and working hard to make the change you believe is right…Only for the movie to go, “Nope. There’s the REAL bad guy. Kill him and everything’s fine.” AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS! Ares shows up, going on and on, spouting nonsense like, “I don’t make people evil…I just give them the things they need to do bad things and further kill people. It’s HUMANITY that’s the death of everything, not ME!” Except that when Wonder Woman kills him, everything is fine. The war ends and people stop killing each other…But then what happened in WWII? And the Vietnam War? And every single war that happened after WWI?! The film tries to give this message across that love is the true end to all wars with Diana staying in Man’s world to help end corruption. But if that were true, then I would like to point out that Diana didn’t really beat Ares with a hug, she killed him with a fucking lightning bolt through the CHEST! And again, EVERYTHING WENT FINE! You could make the argument that things still took time to end peacefully, but the movie doesn’t present it as such. Diana’s friends and German soldiers were hugging one another after Ares died, as if it really was his influence that drove them to want to kill each other. Almost as if the real problem was Ares all along and every war humanity experienced afterwards…must not have happened in this universe, I guess–It’s stupid.

Everything up to those last forty minutes is great. I can see why people would love this movie, even if it’s something that doesn’t reach me specifically. It’s not bad, it’s perfectly serviceable. But the second Ares shows up, it all goes to hell in a SPECTACULAR fashion, taking what could have been a solid A movie and making it a B-. Now, as for whether or not I’d recommend watching it despite Gal Gadot’s current opinions…let me put it this way: Mark Hammil is in the exact same boat as her, and if you were to tell Star Wars fans to stop watching the original trilogy because of it, you’d have better luck telling the moon to stop rotating. There are a ton of movies, shows, and even books that are made by or feature bad people with pisspoor political standings that leaves an icky feeling in one’s tummy when they consume their favorite media. If you want me to tell you that you're the best person in the world for avoiding that media or a piece of shit for still consuming it…I’m not doing either. My advice is do whatever YOU think is the right thing to do.

But that’s enough controversy. We’re almost done with this fucking thing, so let’s keep going with the movie that ruined the DCEU. A movie that, after its release, things would never be the same for this cinematic universe.

Justice League

And I don’t mean Zack Snyder’s version of the movie. No, no, no. That’s the GOOD version.

*Gasps in Snyder Cult*

Yeah, yeah, I know. I clowned on his other two DC movies, but the truth is that I not only find his version of Justice League to be superior, it’s genuinely of the best superhero movies out there. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an hour too long, everything’s too dark to barely make out the characters in dark and gray costumes, and Stephenwolf still sucks…but there’s this sort of epicness to it. It’s one of the few movies where Zack Snyder’s style and interpretation of these characters work, making a movie where even if the good guys lose at first they still win through hope and perseverance. It shows what makes DC characters work, where despite the darkness in their lives and the darkness in their future, they’ll always be there to save the world and all the little people in it. If THIS was the movie DC put out, then I genuinely believe it would have been enough to save the DCEU…But it isn’t. Because due to a tragic event in Zack’s life that I couldn’t begin to comprehend, he stepped away from the movie and put DC in a position: They could have shelved the project and allowed Zack to return after he processed his grief…or they could have done what they did and got in a different director to finish the movie.

And did they get someone similar to Zack’s style? Someone Zack trusted to finish the movie he wanted to make? Nope…Because DC and WB wanted to be like Marvel, so they got in the guy who made the MCU big.

This? This right here? This is the face that killed the DCEU.

Yes, Joss Whedon made the box office SMASH that is The Avengers. But the reason why THAT movie works goes beyond the man who directed it. HIs style and vision for what makes superheroes cool works for the MCU because it mixes well with the tone set in Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger. Those were movies that had their serious moments and epic action, but still featured jokes and quips that made them fun movies to go out and see. By the time we got to The Avengers, it was all that but brought to a grander scale and having the joy of seeing all these characters you got to know join up and save the world as a team. It worked because it fits with the rest of the MCU. Joss Whedon’s Justice League, on the other hand, fails because his style INSANELY clashes with Snyder’s. Snyder has this sort of poetic self-importance to each project he makes. It’s what we got in Man of Steel and Batman V Superman and…yeah, those movies sucked, especially the latter, but Snyder at least had a strong sense of faith in his projects and saw the grandness of these characters, even if it was in a way that I particularly didn’t like. Whedon saw superheroes as silly and made jokes. He’s not entirely WRONG, there is this goofiness to every superhero, all in their costume, powers, and names. Just think of your favorite superhero for more than ten seconds, and you’ll see all the ways that they’re silly. But while that works for The Avengers, it fails here because it goes against everything Snyder set up with this world and its characters. To go from having these big, super serious films to this goofy two-hour long popcorn flick feels like a step backwards. These are the biggest heroes in DC’s library, coming together to stop the generic evil bad guy. And instead of feeling like this epic grand adventure, it’s a mediocre film that almost put me to sleep due to a cast of characters with dull personalities and bad jokes about brunch.

That last bit is another problem with Whedon’s version of this movie: He adds too many jokes. Now, I’m not against superhero movies having jokes and quips in them. Far from it, in fact. Comedy and quips have been a part of superhero bread and butter since the very first Superman comic. Lose that, and you lose the charm of superheroes. The issue is that Whedon seems to forget the most important rule when telling a story: Everything depends on the characters. Whether it’s a fight scene, an emotional moment, or a JOKE, you need to keep in mind the character who says and does everything you write. For example, when Batman’s asked what his power was and he goes, “I’m rich,” that’s perfect. It’s quick, it’s dry, it’s BATMAN. Him going, “Yup, something is definitely bleeding” after Superman threw him like a sack of potatoes doesn’t work. It’s slow, it’s awkward, and it undercuts this big tense scene about Superman losing his sense of self after being brought back to life. And keep in mind that this isn’t just an issue with this movie. It’s an issue that Joss has with all of his superhero movies, both Avengers and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Just look at how Joss Whedon directs Captain America and how the Russo Brothers direct the character. Under Whedon’s direction, Cap noticeably makes a lot more jokes, acting as a sort of sassy grandpa to the team.  With the Russos, Captain America feels more like a straight man, making jokes on occasion but has more of a dignity to his personality. All sense of dignity is lost under Whedon’s direction and you feel that in Justice League. None of the actors feel like they’re having fun in this movie. For example, Ben Affleck. The poor man looks like he’s dying inside with every quip he’s forced to spit out or for every interview he had to do for the film. You can tell he was waiting for it all to be over so he could finally wash his hands from the whole thing. And then you hear stories about how Joss Whedon threatened to end Gal Gadot’s career because she didn’t want Ezra Miller’s face on her boobs for the sake of a joke. Regardless of how you feel about that actress, that’s a pretty scummy move and it was all for a lame gag that makes the audience feel more uncomfortable than entertained. But that’s just the stuff that Joss added. It’s the stuff he takes away that really kills the film.

Zack’s original vision for the film was for it to be four hours long and, to be honest, you can cut it down to at least three. After three bad films in a row plus one decent intermission, I don’t think general audiences would be willing to see a four hour long DC movie. Still, by cutting things down to be HALF of what Zack planned, Whedon takes away too much. Four hours was too long, but it allowed every character to breathe and come out onto their own. Take Cyborg as an example. In Whedon’s cut, Cyborg feels like a non-character whose personality is non-existent as he goes through no arc. But in Snyder’s cut? Victor is the heart of the film, going through a powerful journey of accepting his new self and the father who loved him. Even Victor’s father is a fully fleshed out character with an emotional end to his arc. That’s all cut out of Whedon’s version, and it’s a little suspicious that he felt as though the story arcs and personalities of the BLACK characters were deemed as unimportant. And the same treatment happens to Superman, DC’s greatest superhero, who’s inclusion to the story feels so unimportant that you could almost cut him out of the film entirely. SUPERMAN is POINTLESS in a JUSTICE LEAGUE movie. Read that out loud and tell me that it doesn’t feel right. You can’t. But in the Snyder Cut? We spend a lot more time with him learning to be alive again and coming to grips as a Superman reborn. You can remove him from Whedon’s cut, but you’ll be missing too much in Snyder’s.

As for the stuff that Whedon kept in, not only can you see that in the Snyder Cut, but every GOOD moment in this movie is BETTER in Snyder’s. Action scenes aren’t cut to pieces, intense dialogues aren’t put on fast forward, and dramatic moments aren’t ruined by dumb jokes. Honestly, I can count TWO improvements that this movie has compared to Snyder. For one, I actually like that the color grading is turned up. I don’t give a fuck how serious your story is, if Invincible can tell one of the darkest origin stories I’ve ever seen all for a character in bright PINK…you can make Superman’s suit more blue and Flash’s suit more red. Tone is not a good enough justification to make a film look ugly. Another improvement…is a single scene. A post credit scene that you could miss if you leave the movie the second the credits come on. And that scene is Flash and Superman having their race. It’s the one thing that Whedon’s style does best, and that’s making superheroes entertaining even when doing something dull. Just look at the hammer scene in Avengers: Age of Ultron. It’s fun watching characters you love have a friendly competition and joke around with each other. To the point where people would watch entire movies of just that if they could. But one good scene that happens when the movie’s over is NOT enough to save this mess.

Joss Whedon’s Justice League is what finally killed the DCEU. Oh, they still made more movies after this, but the franchise would NEVER recover from the damage that this movie did to its reputation. In trying to compete with Marvel, DC put out what feels like a C-Tier MCU movie in the same year general audiences got a Guardians of the Galaxy sequel, Spider-Man in the MCU, and Thor finally having a FUN movie. Why would people waste time with a franchise offering C-Tier superhero schlock when they can save their money for stuff they actually love.

As for me? I have this rule when it comes to watching TV (This is related, trust me). I call it the “Five Episode Rule.” A TV show has five episodes to win me over, five chances to tell me that the rest of the series is worth watching. If it fails, then I drop the show unless someone I trust tells me it’s worth sticking out or I hear good things about it online. Now, let’s picture the DCEU as a TV show and each movie an episode. If that were the case, we’d get a mediocre beginning, an infuriating second entry, an incoherent third, a decent fourth with a bad ending, and a dull finale. If we follow my rule, then it goes without saying that the DCEU definitely didn’t win me over. It didn’t win ANYONE over. The DCEU became a bigger punching bag on the internet than Marvel currently is. It took the MCU ten years before it began to lose general audience appeal, but with the DCEU? It failed almost immediately, leaving DC and Warner Bros with this dying franchise. General audiences lost faith in it, Zack Snyder didn’t want to return due to how the studio treated his vision, and even the actors for Batman AND Superman refused to work for DC for the longest time. By the time Justice League came out, the DCEU was at rock bottom. The question is, could they climb their way back out?

Well…They ALMOST did. And we’ll get to that next time as we see what happens when a dead franchise decides to do whatever the hell they want.

[popculturebuffet]

Watchemen Retrospective Finale: Zack Snyder's Watchmen (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy capes.. and welcome to my final review of 2022 and my grand finale to my look at Watchmen. I've looked at all 12 issues with a brief April Fools detour to look at the unmade Sam Hamm version, but there's still one last piece of Watchmen media I want to look at as the Clock strikes 12. Yes folks we're talking about the divisive, loyal as it could possibly be, greatly soundtracked, 2009 film Watchmen.

Filming the Unfimable

As the fact I had a full script to review should show, attempts had been made to adapt the Watchmen for decades. The Hamm script was pitched with Terry Gilliam of all people who considered the project unfilmable as a movie, and better as a mini series.

The biggest attempt was made with David Hayter, voice actor and writer, aka Metal Gear's Solid Snake, Zangetsu in Blodostained, and Captain America in Spider-Man TAS. He also was a writer on the first two x-men films, the scorpian king, and an executive producer on of all the things i've reviewed, A Christmas Horror Story> I knew NONE of this when looking him up and i'm incredibly impressed. This is one hell of a career the man's gotten. His draft really impressed executives, but attempts at paramount, rogue pictures and others stalled until eventually Warner Bros scooped up the rights.

Hayter's script had a few diffrences from the final product as Alex Tse, who'd go on to make wu tang an american story, would do some touch ups. His was set in modern day, at one point Nite Owl straight up killed Adrian, and at one point Adrian's plan ivnolved a MASSIVE SOLAR DEATH RAY

Yeah I mean I get why Christ Almighty it's the goddman watchmen gets mentioned more, it's objectively funny.. but the fact Adrian used a solar death beam at one point still should come up more. Don't get me wrong, the idea of using the power of the sun is awesome: Jonathan Hickman's run had Iron Man build a dyson sphere to potentially smash planets. But there's a difference between taking a real world floated concept and making it high concept sci fi.. and having your morally complex if ultimately evil despite his claims villain have a fucking death ray powered by the sun. The other ideas.. are also not my forte. The 80s setting and the 50s start to mystery men are integral to things, as the films eventually director agreed, and having Dan kill adrian just feels a step too far. What the film goes with is still cathartic and we'll get to it, but Adrian should live not to reap the benefits of his actions.. but to live with both the guilt of what he's done and any consequences should the truth come out.

As for who would direct this, with the recent success of 300… Warner Bros tapped Zack Snyder to direct. We'll get into Zack Snyder himself in a second, but to his credit, he was a huge fan of the graphic novel and most tweaks to Hayter's script were out of reverence to it, though he did keep that ending which again we'll get to.

The resulting film was.. divisive. Some critics loved it, some hated it and fans were split on everything from the performacnes to.. that ending. It's part of why I wanted to dive into it. See when the Younger Me saw it over a decade ago.. he dug it. He liked it a lot and thought it was a great adaptation. So I wanted to see if it held up: if it was still good a decade, a through yearlong re-read of the source material, and Zack Snyders lesser adaptations after it later. So let's answer that question shall we as I watch the Watchmen one final time.. at least for this year.

Watchmenmaker So yeah.. before we can even get into the film we have to unpack it's director. And I'm not one to take the side door, I'll come right up front and knock: Zack Snyder is a kind generous man who uses his massive fanbase to help charities, seems to really love his fans and his work, and who generally seems to be an upright guy. He's hard to hate on his own. That said while as a person I have nothing but respect for the guy, his other superhero works i've seen Man of Steel and Batman V Superman are not great films, especially the latter. If you like them great, your allowed to disagree with me but their just not the best superhero films and I for the life of me can't understand why some people are so ride or die on them.

Man of Steel is.. fine. It's a flawed film with a palette that can best be described as "Hope you like grey!", and easily the worst Jonathan Kent in the characters history, a selfish dumbass who has the sheer gall to berate his son for saving lives and who stupidly throws himself into a tornado for reasons that make entirely no sense and who clearly fucked his son up to the point he's traveling the world and the seven seas instead of living a normal life because SOMEBODY felt he never could. It's not a film I really fondly remember, but it's one I felt okay about coming out of the theater. It's alright. It's not the best take on superman, but I can see why some may like it.

Batman V Superman on the other hand.. is giant mess. I liked it a bit out of the theater, but the more i've thought abotu it the less it's become. Part of it isn't entirely his fault: it's clear DC wanted to FastTrack the justice league and shoved as many heroes in as they could. Wonder Woman, while a great part of the film, feels just kinda there, and while Ben Affleck gives it his best, his version of batman just doesn't work. It's clear Zack Snyder has the same reverence for the Dark Knight Returns as Watchmen.. but fails to get that that's not necessarily how to approach batman, nor that even THAT batman does not kill and will not.

His lex luthor is also just baffling, with it being hard for me to figure out just what he was going for. The idea of a younger luthor whose a tech bro was brilliant.. but the resulting writing has a luthor who sounds and acts like he did a literal, not figurative, mountain of cocaine before every scene, whose plans are needlessly convoluted , and who thanks to said cocaine thinks a jar of piss is a good statement. Seriously I did not realize he pissed in a jar the first time around, probably because Lex Luthor pissing in a jar and leaving that jar wired with explosives is not the kind of thing that usually makes it past first draft. There's a reason we never got Superman fighting a giant spider-man while Braniac wrestled a polar bear after all. Trying to jam Death of Superman in there without having properly built up to it doesn't remotely hep and the film that results is just an overly long, overly dour mess that is more concerned about tlaking about superman being a god for 40 minutes than actually telling a good story. It's overly long, overly self indulgent and ultimately just.. just bad. It's bad.

And look I don't begrudge Snyder himself for wanting his cut of Justice League. He only left the film due to the worst tragedy that could befall a parent, and had it cut to shit behind his back. What I begrude is the cultlike beahvior that's formed out of it. While there are likely fans of Zack Snyder's dc work who are nice, kind, and don't mind if someone has a difference of opinion and if your reading this, I value your existence, there has been a foaming, loud, asshollish horde of fans that has not shut the fuck up since getting said cut. Wanting more of something you love is fine. Right now as an Owl House Fan we're hoping desperately Disney gives us more of the series in some form and actually listens. Sometimes you have to scream to be heard.

The problem is instead of accepting the snyder cut as the cool what could've bene it is and being happy with what they got.. they gnash their teeth at ANYTHING they percive outside it. They've taken the screws to Shazam for not being as edgelord as the films they like, and lately have been just outright insufferable. They have gotten RABID since James Gunn was made one of the heads of DC and made the decision to get rid of Henry Cavill… a decision I udnerstand as the snyder verison of superman has a LOT of baggage and while Cavill did his best, I can understand James wanting to start fresh and using a new actor as a way to do that. It's an understandable decision from a guy who was given the hard task of coming in and steering a ship that has no direction in a company that's on fire thanks to David Zaslav's escalating selfish, terrible and downright baffling decisions. He did not come in guns a-blazin to gut everything: Gal Godot and The Rock are still on board, with his black adam announcment merely being that their going to hold off on using him again at first, rather than "your fired get out" as many are intepreting. And while I get it's weird to fire cavill after the stinger to black adam, it was included more because Dwayne Johnson wants to fight superman than being a coherent plan for a sequel, and I say that with all the love I can to the rock whose an awesome dude. I just don't care about seeing Black Adam fight superman. That's not who he has a connection to.

It's just been so draining. I get liking a film but I doubt Snyder wants .. any of this. He's fine. He's moved on from his superhero work. You are NEVER going to get what you wanted back> Let someone genuinely talented who will likely pull out some weird, wonderful cuts do what he wants and give him some room to do it. Zack Snyder is not a bad filmmaker but like superman. .he's not a fucking god. He doesn't want a fucking cult in his name. He just wants you to enjoy his films and support them. Just.. do that. Love his dceu work if you like but accept it's over, move on and for god's sake stop harassing people for it. I shouldn't' have to say this but it's gotten bad, and I felt it couldn't' be ignored. When Snyder fans are, no joke, going up to a tweet Gunn made trying to get support for charities and saying "DON'T CARE WANT CAVILL", I have to say.. SOMETHING, when I have the chance to speak to said fanbase. To those of you not doing this shit.. thank you. Thank you for being good people like Zack likely actually wants. Your awesome.

Now you may be asking yourself "Well how did I get here?"… or more likely "Okay nice speech and all Jake but what does this have to do with the film your actually reviewing" or

If your a tad deranged. My reason is that while I can see bit sof the DCEU in here, particularly Zack Snyder preferring to deconstruct superheroes than actually play it straight, Watchmen.. zigs a lot of places he'd later Zag. It's shockingly colorful while still being grounded, still having the gaudy outfits, but keeping them because he knows their important. The only change he made to them was to make them more like something you'd see in a superhero film of the past, to help evoke these costumes come from the past: Nite Owl and Ozymandis in particular have outfits that come out of a Burton Batman and Schumacher Batman film respectively. Laurie's is more shiny latex, and the Comedian thankfully keeps his domino mask during his full career and either wears your standard Sterling Archer spy turtleneck on missions or his costume rather than bringing out the gimp. I do think it clashes a LITTLE with the 60's and 70's these costumes are supposed to come from but I get that putting them in say, a 60's batman style outfit would be a bridge too far given the tone of the work, and that the original outfits, while neat, were also intentionally goofy in a way that just dosen't work on flim. It's why you only saw The Scarlet Witch, Vision and Quicksilvers full silver age costumes as halloween costume easter eggs in wandavision or Steve Roger's classic cap outfit as his uso outfit. These are iconic looks.. but they just don't work on screen. You can still hav ecolor and flair as the MCU has shown us, but you have to rework it to fit the present.

This way Snyder gets to both have pops of color.. while also having the costumes still get the slightly dated look in a way people who haven't read the comic will get. It's honestly a stroke of brillance and while his works aren't my forte and he slapped a palette of grey over them, his later works do have neat costumes.

His watchmen shows a respect for these characters and world his DCEU work dosen't quite have. He replicates panels, only didn't replicate the costumes beyond rorshachs for the reasons mentioned, and really tries to get as much of the story in as he can. Which brings us to

The Times they Are A Changing

The film is for the most part a fairly straight adaptation of the Graphic Novel. There's a big change to the ending I keep ominously hinting at and we're almost there just hold on, but there are changes either stylistically or just for compressions sake. It's why I tilt my head at reviews that said he was overly reverent to the graphic novel. I agree he could've used a touch more of his own take.. but Snyder still put his own spin on it and his own style. There's some bits of his trademark slowmo and some quick pans and he does brilliantly find ways to incorporate scenes into motion. The opening scene of the comic is a great example of this, as he somehow manage to pan up in the exact same way David Gibbons does while accounting for having to show EVERY frame going from the street to the Comedian's penthouse.

There are some goofy touches, for some reason he thought adding whipcrack sound effects to some fight scenes was neat, likely to parody it being used in 80's and 90's superhero films, which Watchmen takes some style cues from, but it jus tdosen't mesh when said scenes are played dead serious. This is a deconstruction, not a parody and there's a fine line between the two.

Out of his personal style touches my faviorite is easily his use of music. While there are only a handful of sequences, Snyder picked his soundtrack masterfully. It's nothing but the hits but often used in ways that help play off the scene beautifully or create just the right dissonance.

The first and best example of this is the Times They are a Changin scene. Even people who don't like the film admit this scene slaps and for good reason. It's easily one of the best openings in any superhero film ever if not THE best. In just a few minutes of montage, nicely set to one of the iconic songs of the 60's (not a huge Dylan fan myself but I can't deny this song rocks), it takes you through both ages of superheroes easily, gives you all the exposition the film couldn't thanks to Under the Hood being something they couldn't fit in easily (Maybe a tv movie or something but it would've come off obvious to me), and just looks gorgeous: it breaks down the triumphant rise and tragic fall of the minutemen, the hope of the new era of supermen and it's sad fall beautifully. The imagery just does not leave your brain and it's easily a beautiful little mini movie in it's own right. While the film is still good after this, it's easily the best part of it, kind of like how Up's intro is easily it's best part too for similar reasons but the rest is still fantastic.

That said, the next sequence with this.. is no slouch. The Vietnam flashback with ride of the valyrkyes, as Dr. Manhattan looms over the Vietcong and explodes anyone in his path, is masterful, taking an already great one panel image from the comic and IMPROVING on it. Seeing him in motion really sets in the dread of this giant, looming all powerful godlike figure coming towards you and you can do nothing to stop him and really helps set in the scope of manhattan. I also noticed when writing this section that Manhattan has a nice motif of classical music, to establish a timeless feel, using Phillip Glass' music to really set things in motion.

Dan's sequence is no slouch though, as it amazingly uses the funk classic "i'm your boogie man", and is part of why I love that song so much. It both nicely contrasts with the protest going on.. and nicely matches to Comedian horribly responding to it by violently beating up the protestors. Granted said protestors are pro police, which is especially odd given some are POC.. but I write this off as Snyder, like many of us white dumbasses, not fully grasping the history of police violence on people of color at the time. It's not great in hindsight but I can't say many knew much better and he still shows off that someone with undue power and no checks and balances, i.e. the Comedian, going into a crowd and wailing on them is as horrible as it should be seen.

Then we get a long break, just one sequence with Manhattan i'll talk a bit more about later, before we get the next one.. which stuck out in my mind for the wrong reasons and I was ready to give Zack Snyder all the shit for.. till I learned out why he did it. If you've seen the film you know and if not.. the film takes Dan and Laurie's sex scene.. and make sit into… an over the top, in tense and gratuitous as fuck sex scene.

It's just so ludicrious, so unecessary, so out of nowhere it's parody.. and that… was ex-zactly the point. Yeah turns out Zack Snyder did not ask for this scene, the crew did not ask for this scene and i'm pretty sure Dan Steven and Malin Akerman did not ask for this scene. No one wanted to do this except the executives, who demanded

So Zack pulled a Sean Micheals and decided to give it to them in the goofiest, dumbest, most over the top way possible. It's likely why EVERY movement dan makes seems to make laurie orgasm. Akerman was likely in on the joke, and I salute her for it. Like if your forced to do a gross fanservice sex scene, you might as well make it hilarious and honestly the sequence is: you've got Hallujeah blaring over it, Malin going 80 times over the top, dan stevens just .. rolling with it and the gloriously stupid finish when Laurie climaxes as she hits the flamethrower button. The Silk Spectre has a FLAMING orgasm that is seen by ongoers in the night sky. I.. I can't even add to that. I didn't know Zack Snyder could make a funny but here we are. Good on him.

The last music sequence is a classic and a pretty obvious drop… like while all the songs are pretty well known in a song called the watchmen that pulls heavily from the 70's and 60's to evoke a sense of nostalgia a lot of the characters clearly have… All Along The Watchtower was a perfect pick. It's how I first heard the song and it is fucking dynamite and setting it to Dan and Rorschach's descent into the artic.. fucking perfect.

We get two more songs in the credits. The first is an awesome cover of Desolation Row by My Chemical Romance. I loved them since hearing Danger Day and love Gerard Way's awesome comics work after MCR, so I do like the song.. but it's also a touch too modern to really fit with the film. It was clearly made because the studio wanted a soundtrack tie in.. but it's also very hard to hate because it's so awesome and the first issue's title directly references this song.

The other is We'll Take Manhattan, which I feel was likely Snyder's first choice and is a nice cheeky nod to the horrors that just happened.

Okay so now we've cued the music , let's talk about another change.. one i've been omniously hinting at all film and one where I can't help quoting a certain critic I admire's theme song

They Made Watchmen Without the Slimy Squid

Yeah out of all the changes, one bit of casting, and other various things… this is the single most divisive part of the film. See most of the plot and even the ending is the same: Nite Owl and Rorshach find out Adrian was behind it, confront him at his arctic fortress, and while him kicking their asses is mostly omitted, it's for a good reason we'll get to, and while they plan to not let him do it but..

And thus his plan goes off and while Dr. Manhattan also confronts him, ultimately our heroes are forced to back down for the sake of the world. The big diffrence is WHAT the plan was. See when the Hayter script was made .. it was intended for 2003, complete with a screen test. This was two years after 9/11 so showing what was likely minutes of bloody bodies lying in the streets of new york after an attack.. was something they really coudln't do. They coudln't drop NYC either as it's grimy 80's exterior is as much a character as our heroes. So he came up with something else that made it all the way here.

So instead of Dr. Manhattan having harnessed his power to change the world, he's just getting to it as the film is in progress and is working with Adrian, who goes from a psychic alien attack.. the much simpler plan of using his energy to simulate Dr. Manhattan attacking the world, still giving humanity a common enemy.

Now while I like the squid sequence.. I get why a change had to happen. Even in 2009 9/11 was still fresh in minds. It was likely hard enough getting just dr. manhattan exploding people through. And besides just being sensitive to a reall life tragedy by making things more fantastical… the Squid thing is convoluted as fuck. Like Adrian does lay it out… but it requires a psychic's brain, kidnapping scientists and artists, and genetically cloning it into a squid. It's a BRILLIANT scheme, as it was made to be as believable as possible, and I love it dearly.. but when your trying to streamline an already beefy narrative to fit three hours, it's a LOT to unpack and something not everyone might get and understandably so. I even missed the whole psychic part till adrian brought it up. It has that many moving pieces.

You also have to remember this was pre-guardians of the galaxy. Studios were very gunshy about weird shit and they'd already let the naked blue man hanging dong pass inspection. Zack and Hayter likely didn't want to push it too far. So changing it from the slimy squid while sad.. was necessary.

That said the replacement.. just dosen't work for me. I get using Dr. Manhattan.. but how he pulled it off just raises a LOT of questions and leaves a hell of a lot more holes that could be traced back to him than in the original verison. For one thing the project wasn't some secret project on a remote island and then the arctic but a HIGHLY public clean energy project. I'm not sure they knew manhattan was powering it, but a bunch of scinetests going mising from that suddenly.. isn't going to go away forever. I mean sure Adrian can probbaly bury it with his money, but iwth the journal, there's every chance someone might look into it. Now i'm sure Nixon and later Regan after him would likely gladly shoot anyone who questioned this for world peace.. but i'm also sure someone could leak it eventually.

In the comic.. part of why Adrian won besides assuring world peace.. is he covered his tracks emacuatley: Everyone went missing long before he killed them, he could always fake bodies if needed given his genetic engineering and the squid was so convincingly alien, no one would really THINK to investigate something else. I do get Dr. Manhattan is so throughly. .not human it's supposed to be the same principal, but i'm also not convinced someone wouldn't buy the continence of it.

Not only that is trips away the ambigiutiy of Adrian getting caught as if he does.. Jon could just show up, go ooga booga and confirm the plan. It wipes away any chance of him blowing this away. Unless Jon intentionally lets Vedit hang out to dry, which dosen't seem likely, he gets away completely. It just.. dosen't work for me. I get what they were trying to do but it just dosen't add up.

There's one other adjustment to the ending, but this one I like: LIke the comic everyone but Rorshach agrees to keep quiet but for one thing it's even clearer Dan and Laurie aren't on board with this. We also get a nice adjustment to Rorshach's death as Dan follows.. and sees it happen… crying for his death. Even if Rorshach wasn't a great perosn.. he was still his friend and didn't deserve to die like this. While I like dhis lonely death in the comics.. this still works.

The part I like the most though.. is Dan storming in afterword's and beating the shit out of Adrian. Adrian dosen't fight back and it's left ambiguous: Does he feel guilty or is he just patronizing him like a father whose child is having a tantrum. It's what Dan says though that I really love

"You haven't idealized mankind, but you've deformed it, mutilated it.. that's your legacy.. that's the real practical joke".

Just Dan, tears down his face, knowing he can't get the justice that's required.. but not being content to just.. let Adrian smugly step away. He's given humanity utopia but before marred it with it's cost and will forever carry that burden as he damn well should. It's not QUITE as satisfying as "nothing ever ends".. but it still works with Vedit left just as stunned wondering if he really won. Which nicely brings us to

Under the Hood:

While snyder brought the core of the story well enough to screen, his character work was a bit more.. mixed. Some actors soared, others fell, and some were just let down by the script

We'll start with the character both most prominently used in marketing and whose often see as the franchises mascot, Rorshach. Jackie Earle Haley's performance.. is stunning, it's absolutely perfect to screen, having a nice gruff batman-esque tone that still sounds coarser more tired, and perfectly growly. It fits his uncomoromising mindset, blunt nature and perfectly captures that Rorshach needs help more than he needs to be murdering people. Haley PERFECTLY captures the character, and while he spends most of the film under a mask, he emotes greatly. He also BEAUTIFULLY excutes one of the best scenes of a comic, Rorshach's death. His response is growly.. but when taking off the mask.. he looks utterly destroyed at first, nicely replicating the crying and the fact that despite being so resolute.. even rorshach is sad not only is he passing.. but that a horrible man has gotten away with everything and his scream of "Do it!" is just.. perfect.

Writing wise however.. it's a mixed bag. Hayley does a lot of the heavy lifting.. but a lot of Rorshach's character and backstory was cut. We see flecks of it in his psychological examination but the darkness of mere being itself.. is largely cut out of the film. Malcom Long gets nothing of an arc, a huge shame given he was the only POC character of note in the piece (something Snyder could've rectified and didn't), while the context for Rorshach's fall is mostly gone. The change to what he does to the villain works, having been switched from the saw like handcuffs for understandable reasons ot him savagely meat cleaving the guy, but the slow slide from a man with a tragic past being a vigilante to a man who badly needs a therapist but is so far gone he can't accept the help he needs. .is gone and it takes weight for the character. A lot of what makes Rorshach so neat is gone.

Also gone.. are his right wing leanings. While his opening monologue his kept his homophobia, sexism and general other unpleasantness. This is a double edge sword.. on one hand it makes him more likeable.. but on the other hand it robs the ending of some of it's punch as even if Rorschach sucks.. the fact he's throughly RIGHT hit hit harder coming from someone so often wrong and his right wing fanaticism makes it less obvious if his words will carry weight givfen his various prejudices. The character only still works so well.. because Haley does such a phenomenal job in the roll that the various sanded off edges don't come off as bad as they should. He's just so good and so perfectly cast it helps. It's still not the strongest version of Rorschach, but damn if it isn't memorable.

Less well translated is Dr. Manhattan, who I feel gets the shaft despite his sticking out. I mean at least he probablyg ot some nice resduals form his condoms

Yeah while I feel bad people often overly focus on the character hanging dong, as the whole poitn of that is that he is so far beyond human concerns he dosen't evne care he's hanging dong anymore, I can't knock dc for having a perfect tie in with that.

Look dick jokes aside Dr. Manhattan's representation is really spotty. Some moments are translated perfectly: the aforementioned ride of the valyrkye scene, his spotlight with Watchmaker which shockingly shows off his sense of time despite being portrayed in a fraction of it, and his ending return as a giant blue man.

But a good chunk of his scenes are muted. Part of this is on Billy Crudup. He tries his best.. but ultimately just HOW good he is at portraying a detached godlike being.. varies on the scene. Sometimes he sounds perfectly alien and emotionless.. and other times he sounds like he's just.. bored. The latter just dosen't really work.. I mean sure he's lived through all of this but part of the characters mistique is he's often very hard to read. He also stumbles on the time he is, still coming off emotionless during his ephinany about Laurie or , most damingly when shouting for everyone to leave. Crudup just coudln't figure out the righ totne to match the scnee sand the character dosen't come off well.

Writing wise he's mostly fine.. but the Mars bit is completely botched. Like out of all the stuff the film adapts it's easily the issue that is done the absolute worst. See in the comics it looks like this

Nice crystaline but still pink and otherworldly. Easy enough toa dapt for some reason…. Zack Snyder went with..t his

yeah not only does mars look crappier as while ti's more realistic it's also all brown and muted, taking away a lot of the planets haunting majesty from the comic, but the palace for some reason is entirely made of glass, and cgi.. and as a result it looks REALLY bad. LIke I get using CG, I do, and Manhattan himself is an amazing effect. They got him to screen beauituflly, hanging dong and all. But this is just.. I can't tell if it was just the tightly stretched budget or terrible design choices but it just looks ugly and the scene is so cut down in the theatrical cut it just drains the whole phislocpiacal argument between Manhattan and Laurie. It's just..awful and when you cut a characters best scene down to ribbons he's bound to not come off great. Manhattan looks great but just.. feels souless

So speaking of laurie, stop me if you've heard this one: They cut out most of her backstory. Yeah that's a problem with the film as a whole: I get having to streamline things but not finding some way to intergrate the backstories as well damaged most of the cast. With Laurie it's especially bad as the pressure form her mother, the strained relationship and her painful history are all either underplayed or in the latter case gone entirely. Most of what character she did have is gone.

There is a TINY bit of good as she no longer breaks out into hysterics over most thing, an unfortunate trait I noticed that I don't think Moore or Gibbons thought through for you know, one of only two major female characters in the piece, and the other.. is defined ENTIRELY by nearly being raped then having sex with her rapist so not too good on either account.

That said they replace it with

Malin Ackerman tries her best, but even she admitted that she regretted taking the role, citing it was out of her comfort zone and being the only none shakesphere experinced one in the group and the work's importance, got a bad case of imposter syndrome. I just feel bad for her and her feeling out of her depth shows in her performace. it feels stilted like she dosen't know what to do.. and it's one of the times I blame the acting on Snyder himself. Sometimes acting can be bad direction but not helping an actor whose clearly struggling and not having the good sense to give her way more to work with and an actual character.. that's on him. He had no probelm adjusting the script when needed, so laurie coming out this underbaked is inexcusable. The fact she comes off more as a sex object thanks to her outfit and sex scene without having any AGENCY in said sexuality does not help.

WE then have Dan.. and he may be the only one tha'ts a full on improvement. Patcik Wilson is perfect in the part, not only looking exactly like dan but playing him well: he comes off just a touch more confident.. but not so much he isn't still the insecure, withdrawn nerd the story needs him to be. HE's still a painfully shy man, but he not only has a closer friendship with adrian that helps give him more to do in the plot, and more reason why he's more doubtful he's behind it at first, it also makes Adrian's actions hit harder. IN the comic it wasnt' clear if Adrian was all that close to any of his collegeues. Here the betryal feels personal. He also has great chemistry with ackerman. Wilson is the mvp of the film. And like I said he dosen't just sorta.. collapse and go along with the plan at the end, but is actively spiteful about having to and leaves Adrian devistated. This is easily the better version of dan, and it's likely because unlike the others we didn't get a ton of his backstory, so we only gain more of him instead of loosing a lot.

We then have our mastermind Ozymandis and he's done.. fine. Goode dosen't look the most like him, but did put a lot of effort into the roll. Granted he also infamously told people against his casting "Suck my dick because I don't give a fuck"

But he still did his best and I support his casting: he dosen't look like the superman of the books but more gaunt.. yet he does in the past, giving the feeling the weight of his actions and what has happened has worn on him. While he puts on the cold vener of detachment he dosen't have the smug ego. It makes the character diffrent.. but not in ab ad way, coming off as someone who is doing the grim work necesary to save the world instead of a smug egotist who thinks he's the only one who can. Neither is a good person, but both versions ar eintresting. Admitely Goode slips in an out of an accent but it came from the good idea of having Adrian be german and hide his accent in public to blend in more, as well as distance himself from his nazi parents. I wish this was more texual than just something he thought of but poitns for effort

Finally for the main cast we have our boogie man himself, The COmedian. Along with Stevens and Haley, Dean Morgan not only perfectly matches the role in apperance.. but just ooze sinto it. And since we get his full backstory bit, he's one of the few not as badly marred. The only issue I have is changing his attempted rape to have him be older: him being young and still trying to do something his awful signified that he'd ALWAYS been this cynical, selfish asshat and age only made him worse. The roll was a departure for Morgan who was best known for Grey's Anatomy at the time, but nicely blended into the roll and I wouldn't be shocked if, while not having seen him in wlaking dead, this roll landed him negan as I have read the comic version and the two characters are just similar enough for it to be perfect casting. Ther'es not a lot to say about the comedian I havne't in the comics reviews, Morgan is just perfec tin the roll and desreves more love as an actor.

Finally we have the only two minute men of consequences. Stephen McHattie does a great job as hollis mason though sadly his best scene was cut out of the film, as his death was done BETTER in the extended cut, which I almost reviewed but decided for KEv's wallet and times skae not to. It shows Hollis going down swining, imagining the top knot's as his foes. IT's a great death and I wish it'd been kept in.

Carl Gugino does great as Sally and while she dosen't get many scenes, she is great and I like adding a line about Sally having not regretted her one night stand with Eddie because of wha tit gave her, making her reconcilation with her daughter feel way more plausable.

So with that we just have a few odds and end to

The Cutting Room Floor

As you can probably guess the film exercised a lot. in addition to the various backstories, under the hood and tons of other stuff, pretty much every subplot is excised; The Newspaper Man, the kid with him, Malcom Long, the Lesbians, everyone is gone. The newspaperman and malcom long are unfortunate and it's asd to see them go.. the lesbians not so much as their subplot came off untiotnally homophobic. They also removed mustache cop and you can just imagine my reactoin

Most cuts are understandable. And with that

The Clock Strikes one

So overall Watchmen is a decent film: It has visual flair, some decent aditions, and cast that mostly tries their best even when some aren't given a lot. Is it a GREAT superhero film? Honestly.. no. The cut portions mute the story a bit and Gilliam was likely right that a mini series was a better fit, not to mention there's some tarnish of the time with the executive mandated sex scene and general poor writing for laurie as well as that freaking mars cgi. It's far from a perfect film.. but I still maintain it's pretty good and I still enjoyed it. It's not the best adaptation of the work.. but it's the best it could be within the time, budget and paramenters given and it's a clear labor of love. It's clear Snyder loved watchmen and while he amde some changes, he did his best to get the spirit of it down on film. THe result is a real treat if your a fan of the graphic novel or just a superhero fan in general and if your a fan of snyders, you'll likely enjoy this even more than his justice league works. Doubly if your not a fan. So check it out, it's on HBO max and.. thanks for reading all this way. This has been a decent retrospective and one of th ebiggest and most ambitious project si've done.. But it's time to put away the doomsday clock, let it chime to one in storage.. and stop watching the watchmen. It's been a long road but now.. I rest. See you in the new year.

[biblioflyer]

Housekeeping & Mandalorian

It was never my intent that this blog would talk exclusively about Star Trek, indeed my one mildly viral essay is actually about Captain Marvel, but wow I am having a really tough time with The Mandalorian. I see some stuff in it worth talking about, those with an eye for the symbolic would note a lot of heavy religious and messianic symbolism in the early episodes: sacraments, baptism etc.

Which is really neat. It always thrills me to see a very thoughtful approach to cinematography in pulp. Its why I have a weird soft spot for Zack Snyder. His movies are very silly in terms of plot, but they're visually interesting from an art history point of view. I needed a little bit of emotional distance from the high water mark of the Global War on Terror, but even the aggressive patriotism and military fetishism of Michael Bay's Transformers has its moments.

But in most other respects, I'm just not feeling The Mandalorian. The metaplot and the implications of what I think is going to turn into a trinitarian power struggle between Bo, Din, and the Armorer is kind of neat. The world building that is happening on the New Republic side is....something. I'm highly supportive of trying to "do a Clone Wars" on the sequel trilogy. That is to say, remodel the trilogy by creating meaningful links to other pieces of the franchise and reframe a lot of the story and emotional beats by virtue of these connections. Its what Lucasarts did with the prequels.

Yet, I recognize that there was some intentional cognitive dissonance intended in the way that Tim Meadows' scene was filmed. The way it has all of the beats of an office comedy without the laugh track. We are probably supposed to be horrified at how callous this bureaucrat is. Intellectually that's the case, but emotionally? I just didn't feel anything. I figured out that it was going to come down to a beleaguered New Republic lacking the resources or will to help Navarro.

I wasn't quite prepared for there to not be any whiff of sentimentality on the part of the requisitions officer. I'm not really a fan of this "meet the new boss, same as the old boss" kind of approach to the New Republic. I know in both continuities, this is more or less how it turned out, but I'd still rather see some sentimentality, some despair that the New Republic has too many fires and not enough fire trucks. As it is, it just seems to be reaffirming the overall gloomy mood of the sequels that everything the heroes did had turned to ashes long before the First Order opened fire with Starkiller Base.

Then there's the set piece action sequence in "The Pirate." The liberation of Navarro should feel triumphant. But it didn't. From the moment the Mandalorians embarked on Bo's transport, I had a sense that this was going to be a turkey shoot. The Mandos were going to waltz in there and be about as menaced as Chuck Norris assaulting a preschool at nap time. And I was right. Paz Vizla aka the Heavy, even tanks a direct hit from an E-Web, goes down, but gets back to his feet again in no time. After the battle he's walking and talking without even a limp to suggest cracked ribs or anything of the sort.

This isn't even Star Wars action movie logic at this point, Luke, Leia, Han were always on the backfoot and experiencing one or more reversals per fight which is what made their triumphs more interesting. They avoid major injury for the most part, but they also are frequently stymied from achieving their goals and have to find clever ways to persevere.

I get it, these are Mandalorians. The most feared warriors in the galaxy this side of the Jedi, and they were up against a bunch of drunk and disorderly pirates. Narratively speaking, of course it should be incredibly one sided. And that's a boring narrative! If you really wanted to establish how badass these guys are when they're working together in large numbers, sure, an establishing scene would be great for that. But this was kind of silly. Every last one of them is a Captain America right down to the bad guys pouring on a hail of gunfire that never hits anywhere but his shield.

Beskar is plot armor, okay sure. But like Captain America's shield, it shouldn't be abused. It should be used to permit the heroes to do things that nobody else could, up to a point. Yet, like Captain America's shield, there has to be limits. Those limits are clearly visible on every Mandalorian's body. Its the seams in their armor, the places where they don't even wear armor.

Also the capital ship nerd in me is so despondent. This series is leaning into the same beats as Rogue One and The Last Jedi where capital ships are functionally helpless against fighters to a degree that just makes it all the more questionable why anyone would arm them and send them directly into harm's way, let alone build some that are the size of major metropolitan areas.

Am I missing something here? I can see the mold of the emotions that I think I'm supposed to be feeling, but the liquid beskar just hasn't been poured in.

Do I just need to finish Clone Wars or at least watch that Mandalorian saga playlist on Disney+?

Anyway, more Star Trek content is coming. I'm going to watch the latest episode of Picard after I post this. I'm working on some essays pertaining to S1E4 but its getting down into the weeds on some of my thinking on how the show explores different ethical perspectives and uses challenging subject matter to do so and why I think its uncomfortable for OG TNG fans, but I'm trying to exercise the right amount of care and precision when exploring tricky territory while not getting too verbose, and its not going well. What I have isn't lending itself well to chopping it up into smaller, more topical essays. I probably need to be my own harsh editor and make some tough choices about where to cut and just link out to essays that are already saying a lot of the same stuff, just a little differently.

[ryotaiku]

Somehow it slipped past me but I gave Watchmen Chapter 1 a watch(men).

This is the third (yes, third) adaptation of Watchmen the graphic novel. First was the Watchmen Motion Comic, which is the most faithful you can get without just reading it. It was pretty good, a lot more animated than you think it'd be, though it could've really benefited from hiring a woman to voice the female characters. The voices are all done by one dude and his attempt at voicing women wasn't great.

One year later came Zack Snyder's Watchmen, which seems to have had a bell curve in critical reception. First people hated it, then people loved it, now people hate it again. I haven't seen it in a while, but if I were to watch it again I'd probably say it was fine. Not the most faithful, and if it was the only adaptation I'd say it was okay. In fact for a long time I thought this was the only adaptation until I discovered the motion comic, and even then I thought this one came first.

Now we have Watchmen Chapter 1, the first part of an all new adaptation.

Gonna talk spoilers. Be sure to read the comic or be familiar with the story before reading onward. Seriously go read the comic if you haven't it's really good.

Watchmen Chapter 1 covers everything up to Rorschach getting arrested. This implies to me it'll be a two-parter, but I could've seen it ending earlier & making it a three-parter. Watchmen has a lot going on, and it's hard to fit it all into two movies. The motion comic is almost six hours long, and that covered everything page-by-page. Almost.

Something that makes Watchmen hard to adapt is it's literally half-graphic and half novel. Every chapter ends with a few pages of pure literature with no illustration at all, ranging from journal excerpts to newspaper clippings to police reports. Zack Snyder's adaptation weaved Rorschach's journal into scenes with no narration in the comic, and Watchmen Chapter 1 does the same; though it's cut down a lot more.

My favorite thing this adaptation does is it includes the pirate comic (notably absent in the initial Snyder adaptation), but it makes the decision to not animate it. The pages are shown and the narration is read, but none of it moves like the characters. It's a comic within the comic, and the adaptation keeps it a comic. Not only that, but the the pirate comic is narrated directly in line with how it parallels the story; something I never even put together the first time I read it. I like that a lot.

My only complaint is I think it's a little too obvious that Rorschach is the doomsday activist. I remember him being kind of a background character, not someone you'd immediately notice, and Snyder did the same thing. It's a detail you're meant to notice on a second or third reading. But this adaptation almost makes it a point to focus on him, like they don't want you to forget he's there, so you'll recognize him when the police tear his mask off. I dunno how I feel about that, and I'm not even sure if I remember the comic right. I'll have to read it again to reconfirm my memory.

Overall though Watchmen Chapter 1 is pretty solid. I dunno if Watchmen really needed another adaptation, but if you're gonna watch & criticize a remake, you have to accept the fact that the remake exists. And as it exists, I liked it.

[knigaworm-dot-com]

Rambling Review: Batman v Superman (2016)

OMFG I already hate this movie! How many times do  we have to see Bruce Wayne’s parents being killed?! We  get it, he’s a sad little billionaire orphan - move  the fuck on already! I understand more and more why  Deadpool is such a big deal and how superior it is to  these terrible comic book movies. Enough whining!! And  of course this being Zack freakin’ Snyder everything  has to be in suuuuper sloooooow moooootion. Ugh. I bet  if you sped up his movies they’d be at least an hour  shorter and that much more bearable. But it’s okay,  this will give me a chance to catch up on the  celebrity pics.

WTF Batman levitates now?! Get the fuck out of  here!

Um, excuse me, what? The entire building of  Wayne’s company is populated by idiots, right? There’s  no other way to explain why none of them even thought  about evacuating when the giant alien spaceship was  blowing shit up right next door. I mean how fucking  stupid do you have to be?! And may I remind you, Zack,  that Batman is an ordinary dude with not an ounce of  superpower so how the fuck is he running into a  collapsing skyscraper unscathed? And lifting heavy  metal structures? And what the fuck is a horse doing  there?

And I should probably stop asking questions right  now cause no one’s gonna give me an explanation of  this monstrosity, right? Right, so I should stop.

Wow, these titles are so helpful. Somewhere in  the Indian Ocean - could you be a tiny bit more  specific?

How are they still allowing Snyder to make  Justice League?! Is it not enough that he so famously  ruined the ultimate battle of these fan favorites?

Oh hi, Holly Hunter. I somehow didn’t miss you  and your terrible diction.

This is why I hate comic book movies: they go by  the canon and ignore how fucking idiotic it is. Like,  how the fuck is Superman masquerading as a commoner  with the help of some glasses? Oh shit, I’m still  asking questions, I really should stop.

Amy Adams is way too good for this movie.

Batman crawls on walls and ceiling now? And  brands people? What the fuck am I watching?! I mean it  makes sense with Ben Affleck’s face and Jeremy Irons  as his butler - these two old pervs are capable of  more atrocious things. Now I see what people meant by  Affleck being the best Batman when essentially we  thought he would be the worst, even worse than  Clooney. But they were right - Batfleck is the best  thing to come out of this smelly pile of dog shit.

Jeremy Irons should be the voice of Batman, and  they wouldn’t even have to change his voice at all.

Who the fuck cooks eggs topless? Whatever gets  Henry topless, I guess.

Ugh, here’s the Intolerable Douche Iceberger, or whatever his name is.

I’m so sick of this whole thing looking like it  was filmed through all the Instagram filters. Ugh.

The ultimate fight was actually pretty cool. And  then Martha had to ruin everything. Damn you, Martha.  And no way did Louise hear the whole Martha thing from  way over there - this whole excuse makes absolutely no  sense.

This is one of the most infuriatingly stupid  movies I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying a lot…

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #574

Top Ten Casting Suggestions for the New DCU

They're rebooting the DC Universe. Perhaps you’ve heard? What used to be known as the “DC Extended Universe” has had rather a rocky time of it in the cinema; this came as a bit of a surprise, really, as for decades it was DC who had the really successful, critically-adored comic book movies. Beginning – as we must – with Superman, and then Batman, and subsequent sequels and reboots – most notably the seismic Dark Knight trilogy – it was the older, classical comic book company that held sway at the global box office and in the hearts and minds of fans of the spectacular across the globe.

Things started to change, a bit slowly, from around the Millennium, after the success of first Blade and then X-Men – hits, for sure, popular films; but not quite the blow-the-doors-off cultural zeitgeist moments that exploded, like a distant planet, in the wake of Richard Donner and Tim Burton’s movies. But then Sam Raimi made Spider-Man, changing the tone, and shortly after came first X2 – the best movie about the X-Men that didn’t just feature Logan looking sad in the desert – and then the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And, yes, in between Christopher Nolan redefined what a superhero movie could look and feel like with the gritty, down-to-earth Dark Knight trilogy, the second of which becoming the first comic book adaptation to clear a billion dollars at the box office; but really that’s an aberration, because the story of the 21st century is all about Marvel.

It's weird, really, that it took DC so long to get its act together on the shared universe front, as all of the characters were right there under the umbrella of Warner Bros. Sure, there were hints - “this is why Superman works alone”, the multiple attempts to get first a World’s Finest and then a proper Justice League movie off the ground – but it was Marvel, the company that saved itself from bankruptcy by selling off its biggest characters to a bunch of different movie studios, who first managed to get crossover superhero movies working properly. The slow build-up of films released from 2008 to 2011 set the stage for 2012’s The Avengers, which just knocked everything and everyone over with the scale of its success. The future belonged to Marvel and the future was now.

Of course both DC and their parent company WB wanted some of that action. It just made total sense to create the Justice League cinematically; fans wanted to see Bruce and Clark and Diana all in one frame. And Warner Bros wanted a billion dollars three times a year.

What happened next is sad, really, because it involved a bunch of really talented people with the best intentions coming together and, well, making a few mistakes but also suffering from tragedy, rotten luck, and bad timing. Zack Snyder’s vision for a united DC universe has fans, of course – enough to persuade Warners to fork out millions of dollars for him to “finish” his Justice League years after he had to walk away – but it’s probably fair to say that most people didn’t really gibe with his view of these beloved characters. Man of Steel presented a grounded, grumpy Superman, which was kinda cool in some respects, but the scale of its destruction and its climactic scenes of death turned off a lot of people. Snyder doubled-down on the misery with the bombastic tragedy of Dawn of Justice, before everything just went horrible both behind and in front of the camera in Justice League. Spin-off movies ranged from the bad to the mediocre – apart from Wonder Woman, which everyone liked – and really only succeeded when they stepped away from notions of a shared continuity and just did their own bonkers thing (Aquaman, Birds of Prey, The Suicide Squad). And all the while there was this dreadful din of backroom shenanigans and bad blood that – outside of claims of racism and mistreatment – probably reached its creative nadir with the decision to burn entire films as tax write-offs.

So yes, of course the universe needed a bit of a spring clean. And now James Gunn and Peter Safran – steady, capable hands who really know what they’re doing and have made some of the best superhero films of the last decade – are in charge. And it’s sad that we’ve lost Henry Cavill, an actor who could have been a great Superman if he’d ever really been given a chance – and possibly even sadder that Ezra Miller might still get to be the Flash despite, well, everything. But the view of this new universe looks like hewing a lot closer to the optimistic, moralistic fable of the DC Universe that I grew up reading. James Gunn keeps referencing Grant Morrison. That is a very good thing. At least one of the newly-announced films seems to be actively adapting a Morrison comic. He thinks Superman should be kind! The fact that that’s a sigh of relief is ridiculous, because that’s literally the first thing Superman should always be, but that’s where we were. Yeesh.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. I was gonna do Gunn’s job for him by suggesting actors to cast in the new DCU. I've done this before! Back when we knew we were, finally, getting a shared DC movie universe in the first place, I made some suggestions. That list wasn’t very interesting, but hopefully this one will be.

And that’s it! Here are ten actors to play characters in the newly-minted DCU. Do please enjoy!

Boyd Holbrook as Batman: I think people are making some assumptions regarding the new DCU Batman that won’t really pan out. What do we know about the character? We know he’s old enough to have fathered a child who’s now – presumably – 10-12 years old. We know, according to James Gunn, that he’s likely to be “a few years older” than a Superman who has “been around a couple of years” and “is not in his forties”. This all, to me, suggests they’re not looking to cast a guy in his fifties. After all, Bruce is usually depicted as having started his costumed career in his early twenties, so even a 40-year-old Batman could have been jumping off rooftops for a good fifteen years. And so, after much deliberation, I present to you Boyd Holbrook, a good-looking and more than capable actor who can easily put across a brooding sense of menace, who looks tough but scrappy in a Daniel Craig mould; a broadsword with a brain, a henchman with a heart. Assuming The Brave and the Bold is released in 2026, he’ll be 44, the same age Ben Affleck was when Dawn of Justice came out (so, if anything, he might be a touch on the old side!). But, hey, maybe Holbrook can persuade regular collaborator James Mangold to direct the movie, because holy perfect helmsman, a James Mangold Batman movie would be a sight to see, I mean a sight to see.

Austin Butler as Superman: okay, I'll confess straight up: I've still not seen Elvis. But Butler is good in his small role in Hollywood, and the fact that he’s just won a BAFTA and is up for an Oscar suggests that he’s got the chops. And he really does look the part. He's pretty tall, he looks good with dark hair, and technically Clark Kent is from the South so he’s got the accent. I’d wager he needs to build his frame up a bit, but what you’ve got here is a good actor, the right age, the right look, with experience already of playing one of the 20th Century’s biggest pop culture icons. And maybe we can get Perry White to say “Great shades of Elvis”.

Cush Jumbo as Lois Lane: my idealised version of Lois Lane is essentially Jennifer Jason Leigh in The Hudsucker Proxy; a really tough, incredibly fast-talking woman who’s whip-smart and fearless and stands up to men in power. I always imagine scenes in the Daily Planet newsroom as playing out as a screwball comedy written by Aaron Sorkin. So we need someone with experience delivering dense dialogue at a fast pace in a confident fashion, someone used to wrestling knotty topics with a sense of humour. Jumbo excels at that in The Good Wife/Fight. I think she’d be good stood next to/arguing with Austin Butler. And I’d love to see her leading a massive blockbuster, quite frankly. And whilst we’re filling out the Daily Planet offices, let’s have Tom Hanks channelling Ben Bradlee as Perry, and Stranger Things’ Gaten Matarazzo as Jimmy.

Jamie Foxx as Lex Luthor: I'm sticking with Superman Legacy again just to recommend a new Lex. Foxx has a really strong, solid sense of charisma that he could bring to Luthor; enough to make him seem like what he often is, the anti-Clark Kent. You need someone who can do something different to the pantomime villainy of Gene Hackman and the techbro arseholery of Jesse Eisenberg. Foxx would be likeable and funny, but also intense and genuinely threatening. Think of how he played Electro in No Way Home – basically a different, sexier, more confident character than the sadsack of Amazing Spider-Man 2. Not sure if he’d be happy being bald, though; he even had hair as Daddy Warbucks.

Jonathan Groff as Apollo: Groff is a tall, built, good-looking dude who is absolutely superhero material. He can sing and dance, and Mindhunter shows how not only his range but also how he can handle incredibly dark, disturbing material. All this combines to make him a terrific fit for a character who is, in many ways, an analogy for Superman himself, but in a team and a story that hews much darker. And I’ll be completely frank: it’d be nice what’s arguably the first gay lead character of a huge superhero movie actually played by a gay actor. But who to be his gruff, cynical, Batman-esque boyfriend Midnighter? Personally I’d quite fancy Gerard Butler.

Stephanie Beatriz as Catwoman: this might be a bit of a cheat as – technically – we don’t know if Catwoman is actually going to crop up in one of the first lot of films or shows (if it’s not apparent, these characters are otherwise all from the announced productions). But let’s face it, if there’s a Batman there has to be a Catwoman too. And whilst she’s most recently been a beaming Disney Princess, making categorically sure we did not talk about Bruno, Beatriz also has a penchant for steely-faced badassery with her role on Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I think Selina Kyle would split the difference; she needs to be funnier and chattier than Rosa Diaz, but I think a good twist for the character – something we’ve not really seen in other film portrayals – would be to emphasise the street-smart, rough and tumble aspects of her character, a woman who grew up poor in the slums of Gotham. I think the edge she gave Diaz would be a cool trait to apply to Catwoman. And whilst she looks about ten years younger, she is basically the same age as Boyd Holbrook.

William Jackson Harper as John Stewart: in another universe Harper would be the perfect Clark Kent. He’s got very, very strong Clark vibes in The Good Place. Whilst he’s probably more famous for playing slightly more nebbish and introverted characters – including in his small role in Quantumania – he’s got the frame to handle a bit of action, too. And John Stewart would be a great fit, because whilst he often seems to be portrayed more as a military man in this day and age, when he was introduced in the comics he was actually an architect. I think Harper would thread that needle expertly, and I think his demeanour would be great when put up against a brash, bombastic, Maverick-esque Hal Jordan in the Lanterns series. Speaking of Jordan, who could play him? Chris Pratt would have been good, but maybe that’s too similar to Peter Quill. I dunno. Bradley Cooper?

Elizabeth Debicki as one of the Amazons: this might be a bit of a cheat as I’ve not listed an actual character, and if I’m honest it’s actually bleeding through from one of my tiny peeves about The Rings of Power on Amazon; that Morfydd Clark – great as she is – is too short to play Galadriel, whereas Debicki is about six-three. Anyway, I’d quite like to see her take on a really cool, strong action role, and the presumed political intrigue in this series would be a good fit too, allowing her to stretch her acting muscles as well as her, er, muscle-muscles. I’ve no idea what this show will end up being like or about, but as, say, a more junior Amazon investigating some conspiracy or the other on Themiscyra, she’d be terrific. And she’s already got the James Gunn connection in Guardians. And then she could wind up somewhere in the present-day timeline. Oh, I dunno, call her “Troia” and make her Donna Troy’s mum or something; she ends the series fleeing Themiscyra, coming to “Man’s World”, and centuries later having a child who inherits some of her powers and, Bob’s your aunt, there’s Wonder Girl. Look, that’s legitimately 2000% more sensible than her actual comic book origin, okay?

Daniel Radcliffe as Swamp Thing: there are three main things going for Radcliffe here in my opinion. Number one, he’s instantly convincing as a frazzled genius scientist; no one would doubt his ability to carry off the Alec Holland part of the character. He can even do an American accent if that’s what they want. But then we all know from his theatre work and his performances in films like Swiss Army Man that he’s incredibly versatile; I can picture him now, channelling his inner plant in a mocap suit to play Swamp Thing. And finally there’s the fact that, huge star as he obviously is, he’s mostly shunned mainstream blockbusters, certainly never having anchored one since Potter. I think he’s one of the few A-List actors who’d gladly spend the majority of a film unrecognisable as a giant talking heap of moss and leaves. And he’d probably be up for the weird sex scene in that one issue too.

Leslie Grace as Batgirl: to be honest I’m torn about this one but I wanted to get her in there. See, I think Grace was really, really done dirty by what happened with the cancellation of Batgirl. I want to see her given her dues and have a shot at that role. But if I’m honest, the way The Brave and the Bold is panning out, I’d actually like it to have something approaching what I consider the platonic ideal of the Bat-Family: that is to say, Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Oracle, and Batgirl. Which means Barbera Gordon has to be in a wheelchair, and in that case I think I’d rather go with someone slightly older and maybe with an identifiable edge or flintiness to them (although to be fair, I’ve not really seen Grace in anything, so maybe she could totally pull that off). How about we split the difference, and introduce Grace as a more “realistic” version of Batgirl, playing Jeffrey Wright’s daughter on The Batman 2? As for the rest of the Bat-Fam, I’d go for Joe Keery as Nightwing, Richard E. Grant as Alfred, and let’s say Russell Crowe for Gordon. If Grace was Oracle not Batgirl, I’d recommend having Cassandra Cain, but I’m not sure the girl from Birds of Prey could play this version of Cassandra, so you’d probably have to recast. And I’ve no Earthly idea who could play Damian Wayne.

Phew! That was hard. I spent a long time whittling this list down and sadly a few people fell off the bottom end (including Zac Efron and Justice Smith as Booster Gold and Ted Kord). I could probably have done separate Top Tens on possible Batman and Superman actors. And then there were tons of characters not included in the announced films and shows – Jason Blood, Zatanna, Poison Ivy, Raven, Professor Pyg, Clayface, Animal Man, Knight and Squire – that I diligently fan-cast. And I’m still annoyed at myself about not being sufficiently well-versed in Central Asian cinema, or knowing enough Asian actresses, because I’d have loved to suggest someone to play Talia al Ghul – almost certain to crop up in The Brave and the Bold – but just as I feel the new Bane actor should be Hispanic, I think whoever plays Ra’s and his daughter should probably be of Middle Eastern descent, as that’s where the character is supposed to be living and – arguably, as his origin is a bit vague – from in the first place. Having a Japanese guy playing a Tibetan guy as a stooge for an Irish guy with a daughter who’s a French woman probably won’t cut it anymore.

Anyway, James, Peter, if you’re listening – you could do worse than this lot.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Despite I really should stop thinking about Spider-Man. There's this idea of making this Spider-Man as honorable to the earlier Spider-Man comics. More so the idea he's been Spider-Man for a few years. But he's still has that "Chip on his shoulder" and kind of a dick. But he gets better as he grows up. Including making new friends.

And then there's the idea of the "Coffee Bean Gang" despite I...dislike 616 Gwen. But truly understand Spider-Man's supporting cast is so much important than his villains...we're talking about MJ, Harry, Gwen and Flash. Like...a part of me wants to do that.

Yet I'm so caught up in the idea of Spider-Man at the age of 21 or so being so messed up by the idea that he "Inspired" a serial killer. That being Sin Eater and IF I go with that insane idea of Spider-Man killing him in pure anger. And after that story, even being comforted by Mary Jane. The next story is legit him going through the symbiote story arc where he's at his darkest place in his life.

The symbiote isn't corrupting him, it's not making him evil. It's "Uncensoring" him, it's unfiltering him. The symbiote genuinely wants to help him, it thinks it's doing the right thing by being Peter's "Serotonin" by removing the "Locks" in his brain. But it's making things SO MUCH WORSE. Especially to make matters worse, Peter has unresolved trauma from everything happening. And he's corrupting the symbiote itself. He is so close to becoming the worse version of himself. And he's in control of his actions. He's pretty much becoming his "Ditko" himself but this time, it's going to be so much worse because he has no restrictions.

He is close to becoming the Peter in "The Spider's Shadow".

And the one person or the major person that saves him...is Moon Girl/Lunella Lafayette.

Like, fucking insanity. Because adding the "Peter as a schoolteacher" idea possibly because in this case, he graduates earlier, takes a substitute job at Lunella's school. It's almost like Marvel's Spider-Man 2 story, but with some changes. Where you have Eddie as Venom too. And the story is more personal and you have Lunella replacing the Fantastic Four's role when they reveal to Peter that the symbiote is an alien.

Yeah, sure. Let's have a 13-year-old exist in a universe where it's Peter Parker MAYBE KILLED A VILLAIN and becomes her 22-year-old science teacher WHILE HE'S IN HIS DARKEST TIME!

In the words of Zack Snyder, "We're fucking nuts." And before that too, "That's.....scary."

I'm so Hellbent on this idea despite it doesn't seem compatible. But the best course of option is to make two Spider-Man stories where the first one is its own thing. Maybe I should do the "Coffee Bean Gang" instead of just some characters. But then you gotta add Jean DeWolff in there in you want the Sin Eater story in there.

Then you have the Sin Eater story I really wanna make a story/plotline of With Eddie in there. And then you have the Spider-Man/MGADD crossover that has the symbiote story line.

I really gotta rewatch some of these Spider-Man films. I strangely wish somehow the first two Raimi films were combined with the first The Amazing Spider-Man. I genuinely wish that somehow happened or...something. It's late at night in my area. I'm sounding crazy.

But hey, Thanos is known in the show. So, maybe the "Snap" did happen in MGADD. Keep that in mind, but man, I'm so Hellbent on this.

You know...earlier or like...I shouldn't say almost an hour ago...I was wondering of a what if scenario if I did do this story. The idea of what if Spider-Man did kill Sin Eater. What if Peter did beat him to death. And the idea of Peter learning to overcome he actually killed a person. Even though it was a person who rightfully deserved to die.

After that, or well, that entire time. I was pacing around, and I really thought to myself I shouldn't write Spider-Man. If any Spider-Man adaptation decided to do that. You might be looking at the most hated version of Spider-Man...

Granted, 616 Spider-Man accidently killed someone by punching them in the face. This is essentially combining that idea but with the fact of him killing a genuine disturbed man due to him not controlling himself...

This idea is playing with the idea of Peter really rethinking his entire life as Spider-Man. And this all happened because Spider-Man Twitter feels like such a bothersome place that I want a Snyderverse Spider-Man to exist and see how they react to it...and it's amusing that's how I keep imagining my take similarly.

[miss-nerd-alert]

“Batman Doesn’t Kill.”

That’s the point. That’s Bruce’s entire character arc in BvS. The events of MoS-coupled with Luthor’s carefully calculated pushing-sets Bruce on a downward spiral that’s partly a consequence of everything he’s gone through in the two decades he’s been Batman. It isn’t until he gets to that edge, that moment just before he’d be committing first degree murder, that Bruce is snapped out of that spiral and realizes what he’s doing, and how far he’s gone from the Batman he used to be—the one we all know and Zack Snyder supposedly doesn’t understand.

Bruce has been Batman for twenty years by the time of BvS. He’s raised Dick, lost Jason, seen the formerly justice-seeking Harvey Dent become a scarred and violent monster, seen Barbara crippled by the Joker, and seen his childhood home burned down. He’s given his blood, sweat, strength, and two decades of his life to avenging his parents’ murder and fighting crime. And in the twenty years he’s been operating, all that sacrifice he’s endured has done little more than scratch the paint of Gotham’s criminal element.

And then he sees innocent people killed, orphaned, and/or crippled by aliens with the power of gods. He sees it, is completely powerless to stop it, and it makes him angry.

Bruce is angry, and Luthor capitalizes on that anger to orchestrate the events of BvS. He cultivates that anger and makes sure it’s directed at the only kryptonian left: Superman. He makes moves to import kryptonite, making sure it catches Batman’s attention, subtly encouraging him to take it as a possible deterrent against Superman. He plays up doubts about Superman in the media and orchestrates tragedies to pin the blame on him. Luthor hyped up the potential danger of someone with Superman’s powers to make Bruce even angrier, angry enough to lash out.

When Batman chases the truck carrying the kryptonite, he’s lashing out because he��s angry, but he can’t lash out at the person he thinks is the source of his anger, not yet. He’s not ready, and Luthor’s men are an obstacle in his way, so he doesn’t care that he’s being too brutal, going too far. His standoff with Superman ends with a promise: I can’t fight you yet, but I want to, and I’m going to.

When that fight finally happens, Bruce has been driven into a frenzy. Luthor has pushed him right up to the edge and told him to jump. It isn’t until Superman uses what is nearly his last breath to plead for the life of another that Bruce finally snaps out of it. A single moment of clarity that hits him like a freight train: when Clark and Lois unknowingly draw a comparison between him and Bruce by saying a mother named Martha will be lost if this murder happens, only then does Bruce realize what he’s doing. Only then does he realize that he is on the brink of becoming the very thing he’s spent two decades trying to overcome. It’s only then that Bruce is reminded that Batman is not meant to be a killer, and realizes that is exactly what he will become if he goes through with this action. And it wouldn’t stop with Superman.

“It’d be too damned easy. All I’ve ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he’s dealt out to others, and then end him. But if I do that, if I allow myself to go down into that place, I’ll never come back.” -Bruce, to Jason Todd about the Joker Batman: Under the Red Hood

At his core, Bruce knows he is a broken man who’s one mistake away from becoming the next Joker. He imposed his no-killing rule on himself in large part because he knows the moment he starts killing, he’ll never be able to make himself stop. That is what is at stake in BvS; not just Superman’s life, but Batman’s soul as well.

Bruce’s character arc in BvS is that of a hero who’s falling prey to their worst impulses and darkest self, only to be called out by a younger, more optimistic hero similar to who they used to be, and turning back to the light just before the darkness swallows them forever. From Doomsday onwards, Bruce’s character arc would be one of a previously fallen hero clawing their way out of the dark, unlearning the bad habits they’d developed as they fell. Batman doesn’t kill, and that’s the whole point.

[powerfultenderness]

An idea for a Halloween drabble with Adrian:

A lot of the staff at Fennel Fields dresses up for Halloween and so do you, but everyone mistakes your costume for something else. It really starts to annoy you and you’re actually on your way to the restroom to change when Adrian arrives for his shift and sees you look aggravated.

Babydoll

Rated: T+

Word Count: 1858  

A/N: ty for the request, hope you enjoy! 🎃

[#Vigilante Halloween Masterlist] 

[Masterlist]

[Dividers]

It wasn't that you hated the Fennel Fields uniform, but you were a little bored of it. So when your manager said those working on Halloween were allowed to wear costumes, you instantly started thinking about what kind of costume you wanted to wear. 

There were a few restrictions, of course. Nothing that would get in the way, such as wire wings or tails that could potentially hit someone or knock something over. Similarly, nothing that dragged on the floor as that also presented a tripping hazard. Not that you had planned on anything with any of the restrictions, but now that you’d been told what you couldn’t wear, every idea you did come up with was restricted in some way!

By the time you figured something out, and collected everything you would need, there were just three weeks left until Halloween. It was somehow so close yet so far at the same time! 

Initially you were quite excited about your costume. Despite having to leave the prop weapons at home, you thought it was a pretty spot on portrayal of an awesome movie character!

Come Halloween you’d taken extra time to get the blonde pigtails and sailor girl outfit just right. Maybe that’s where you went wrong…

The first person to greet you after you clocked in was a fellow server, Blake. She wasn’t in full costume, but had cute little devil horns peeking out from her curls.

“Don’t you look cute and hot!” 

You grinned, “thanks!” 

“Who are you supposed to be, though? Some cute little anime school girl?”

You expected that from her. You’d made countless movie and comic and video game references to her before and she never understood them.

“No. Babydoll from Sucker Punch.” 

“Sucker Punch?”

“Yea. It was a movie that came out a while back.” 

“Ooh! Gotcha! Well you look good!” 

You thanked her again and the two of you started your shift.

Your first table pretty much said the same thing. “What anime are you from?” 

You gave a generic answer and hurried onto their orders. 

Taylor, one of the dishwashers, walked past you and smiled. “Sailor Moon?” 

You wanted to sigh, he wasn’t the first person to make that call. But since he wasn’t a customer, for some reason you thought it was ok to correct him. “Eh, not quite. Sucker Punch.” He raised an eyebrow as if asking you to elaborate. “Came out in like 2011.” Still a blank look. “Zack Snyder?” He shook his head. “Babydoll,” you gestured to your costume, “was played by Emily Browning…Vanessa Hudgens? Oscar Isaac!”  You listed off the more famous actors in the movie.

After a few seconds he nodded, “Oooh! Wow! I think I remember that one!” 

You smiled with a strained chuckle before returning to your job. 

Really! It wasn’t like Sucker Punch was some obscure indie! 

-

Over the next few hours you put up with being called Sailor Moon. For the most part you just smiled and quickly moved onto doing your job and people forgot the costume. But, it was getting increasingly annoying.

By the time your break rolled around you practically ran straight to the parking lot. You had the foresight to bring your uniform and leave it in your car, just in case the boss thought your costume was inappropriate. You were not going to spend the rest of the night feeling moderately embarrassed about your costume! 

You were too busy rummaging through your back seat and muttering a few annoyed phrases to notice someone walking by the car, until you heard a familiar voice call your name.

You turned, maroon uniform in hand, to see Adrian dressed in a black and red jumpsuit with a matching baseball cap that he wore backwards. The random, and mostly fake, sponsors on the suit and the big NASCAR printed on the cap made his costume clear. You had to admit, for a costume that covered him even more than the usual Fennel Fields uniform, he looked hot.

For a moment all of your earlier frustrations disappeared. “Wow! Looking good, Driver!” 

Adrian stared at you for a beat too long and you worried that he too would not get your costume. Considering how everyone else mistook your costume, the fact that he hadn’t said anything sent another embarrassed rush of blood prickling at your face. 

He was quiet, a little wide eyed, until you nervously wrung the uniform in your hands. He shook his head, blinking rapidly, as if he’d dazed off in the middle of talking to you.

“Me? You look fucking amazing, Babydoll!” 

Even though he was just calling you by the name of the character, hearing him calling you Babydoll sent your heart racing and the blush on your face burned hotter. You let out a sheepish and nervous chuckle, "oh, thanks…wait! You know who I am?" 

Adrian grinned, cute little dimples framing his cute little smile, "are you kidding? Sucker Punch is one of my favorite movies!" 

"Really?" You excitedly asked, while internally you were doing back flips. Finally someone got it! 

"Yea! It's so cool!" He started but blinked and tilted his head. "Did you just get here too?" He then pointed at the uniform in your hand. 

"Oh. Uh. No. My shift started a couple hours ago. I was actually gonna change out of this, because people keep calling me Sailor Moon." 

“What? That’s stupid!” He took a few steps so that he was close to you, and you winced slightly as you thought he was talking about your reaction. He just wanted to make a point though, because he brushed one of your blonde pigtails over your shoulder. “Sailor Moon’s hair is way longer!” 

You blushed even more, if it were possible, as he continued. “And she doesn’t use guns, so she doesn’t have a holster!” He plucked at the brown faux leather straps at your shoulders. You stumbled forward a bit from the gentle force of the tug, your chest close to his now. 

He slowly moved his hand from the leather strap to the rather flimsy material of your top, the back of his fingers softly tracing down your arm to the edge of your sleeve. “And she wears a totally different color.” He paused, his hand leaving you for a moment as he glanced up to his left, “unless you were wearing Babydoll’s white costume.” His eyes flicked back down to yours, “but you’re not.” 

His hand returned to your shirt, his knuckles gently dragging across your exposed midriff as he lightly pinched the hem of your shirt. “And I’m pretty sure Sailor Moon wears a one piece.” He let go of the shirt and his hand slid across your bare skin to rest just above your hips. His hands were so large that thumb still played with the hem of your shirt, while his pinky slipped under the band of your skirt. 

You shivered under his touch, but you were far from cold. Not even the low fall temperatures could cool your blood at this point, especially with the way he was leaning down slightly, his face so close to yours. 

“Adrian,” you whispered, your eyes flitting back up to his eyes from his luscious pink lips. 

“Yea?” His voice was low, gravely almost, and his breath tantalizingly danced across your lips. 

As much as you wanted to shove him in the back seat of your car and climb on top of him, now was not the time. You licked your lips, he mirrored the action, “my break is almost over…” 

“Oh!” He practically jumped back and away from you, and you already missed his warmth. “Y-yea! I need to clock in too!” He scratched the back of his neck and looked away from you. 

You tossed your uniform into your car and slammed the door shut, locking it as the two of you awkwardly made your way into the restaurant. 

You quickly got back to work, and tried not to think too much about Adrian, but every time someone called you Sailor Moon, you wanted to run to him and tell him. You weren’t sure why, or what he could even do, maybe he could say you looked “fucking amazing” again. That’d be nice. 

-

“Hey, Babydoll.” Adrian caught your attention as your last table for the night left. 

You smiled at him and tried not to be too obvious as you stared at his bare arms. Pretty early on in his shift he took off the top half of his suit and tied it around his waist, leaving his incredibly well defined muscular arms on display, as he’d only been wearing a muscle shirt underneath the suit.

It also didn’t help that throughout the night he called you “Babydoll” a few times and it sent an excited rush through you every time. 

“Are you doing anything later?” He asked as he stacked the dishes in the gray tub.

You shook your head, “not really. Probably gonna eat a buncha candy and maybe see if there’s any good scary movies on.” 

“Sweet!” He grinned, though it immediately faltered as he noticed your raised brow. “Uh, I mean, it’s great that you’re not doing anything!” 

You tilted your head and pursed your lips together, even more confused.

“Not that I’m happy that you don’t have any plans! I mean, if you did have plans I’d understand!” 

“Adrian?”

“Yea?”

“Are you trying to ask me something?”

“Yea.” He took a breath and spoke quickly. “My friend is throwing a Halloween party at his place, do you want to come with me?” 

“Sure!” You smiled, “sounds fun. Much better than what I had planned.” 

He smiled too, and he relaxed so visibly that you couldn’t help but act on the little mischievous thought that popped into your mind. You stepped in front of him, maybe a little closer than socially acceptable, but he either didn’t notice or mind. “Can I ask you a question, now?”

“Huh? Sure..?”

You had your hands behind your back, acting like you were hiding something from him, “trick-or-treat?” 

He grinned and rocked back and forth on his feet. What an easy choice, a trick or a piece of candy from someone so pretty? “Treat!” 

You pushed yourself up on your toes and kissed him. It was supposed to be a quick little peck, but once Adrian felt your lips on his, he acted quickly and grabbed your hips, pulling you flush against him, and deepened the kiss. Before things got too heated though, someone cleared their throat and the two of you pulled away from each other. 

“We should finish cleaning up.” 

He nodded and grabbed the tub of dishes, “yea.” He only got one table away before he turned back to you, “hey, Babydoll?”

It was official, this costume was your best idea ever. “Yea?”

“What would you have done if I picked ‘trick’?”

Honestly, your plan was to kiss him either way. But you just grinned at him, “I'll tell you later.” 

Adrian pouted for a moment before smiling to himself and getting back to work. He liked the treat you had given him anyway.

Tag list:

@lululandd

[felassan]

Some DA trivia and dev commentary from Twitter

There’s a lot of different tweets, so I’m just pasting and linking to the source rather than screencapping them all or making several different posts or something. Post under cut for length.

User: Was dragon age 2 your favourite in the franchise?

David Gaider: DA2 was the project where my writing team was firing on all cylinders, and they wrote like the wind- because they had to! Second draft? Pfft. Plot reviews? Pfft. I was so proud of what we all accomplished in such a brief time. I didn't think it was possible. [source] DA2 is, however, also where the goal posts kept moving. Things kept getting cut, even while we worked. I had to write that dialogue where Orsino turned even if you sided with him, because his boss battle had been cut and there was no time to fix the plot. A real WTF moment. >:( [source]

Mike Rousseau: I remember bugging that! And then being told it wasn't a bug, and being so confused. Doing QA for DA2 was an experience. Trial by fire. [source]

DG: So I think it's safe to say DA2 is my favorite entry in the DA franchise and also the sort of thing I never want to live through ever again. Mixed feelings galore. [source]

User: (I personally blame whoever it was for ruining most romance arcs in other games for me; they don't live up to Fenris's romance storyline)

DG: I wrote Fenris, so uh - me, I guess? Or maybe his cinematic designer, who put in the puppy dog eyes. [source]

User: If DA2 had just been an expansion, do you think it would have been better received? There was a lot of great stuff in there, and I think my initial dislike of it was because of the zone reuse. If it hadn't needed to be a full game, would that issue not have arisen?

DG: Hard to say. It was either going to be an over-scoped expansion or an under-scoped sequel. If it had stayed an expansion, it might never have received the resources/push it DID get. [source]

User: I'd love to visit the universe where you had an extra year or so to work on it. You did a very good job as it stands, but it definitely had rough edges. Not just the writing team either. The whole game had hit and miss moments, that just a little more dev time could have fixed.

DG: On one hand, DA2 existed to fill a hole in the release schedule. More time was never in the cards. DA2 was originally planned as an expansion! On the other, if we had more time, would we have started doing that thing where we second guess/iterate ourselves into mediocrity? [shrug emoji] [source] 

Jennifer Hepler: This is what I love about DA2. Personally, I greatly prefer something that's rough and raw and sincere to something that's had all the soul polished out of it. Extra time would have helped for art and levels, but it would have lost something too. [source]

DG: Right? I think we could have used some time for peer reviews (and fewer cuts), but I think the rawness of the writing lent a certain spark that we usually polished out. [source]

JH: Definitely. I think the structure (more character-driven) and the tightness of the timeframe let each individual writer's voice really come through. Polish can be very homogenizing. [source]

DG: I should add I'm not, by any means, against iteration. Some iteration is good and necessary. The problem that BioWare often had is that we never knew when to stop. Like a goldfish, we would fill the space given to us by constantly re-iterating on things that were "good enough". [source]

Patrick Weekes: I appreciate your incredibly diplomatic use of the past tense on "had". :D [source]

User: DA2 was my gateway into the series and I’m so happy it is. I love the game the way that it is. It’s one of my favorites of all time. But I am also aware of everything that was said here. If it were remastered, do you think it would change?

DG: I'd be surprised if it was ever remastered. If it was, do you really think they'd change things? Do remasters do that? No idea. [source]

User: Both sides got undercut as I recall. Didn't that whole sequence also end with the mage leader embracing blood magic? It was very much "a plague on both your houses" moment, at least for me.

DG: Yep. Orsino was supposed to have his own version of Meredith's end battle, which only happened if you sided with the templars. That got cut, but the team still wanted to use the model we'd made for him. So... that happened. [source]

DG: I would personally say that DA2 is a fantastic game hidden under a mountain of compromises, cut corners, and tight deadlines. If you can see past all that, you'll see a fantastic game. I don't doubt, however, that it's very difficult for most to do that. [source]

PW: I love DAI with all my selfish "I worked on this" heart, but DA2's follower arcs and relationships are probably my favorite in the series. [source]

User: As I've expressed many times, I love the game, especially it's writing and characters but, for me, the most impressive aspect of it, in consideration of it's lack of time for drafts and revisions, is the 2nd act with Arishok.  What amazingly complex character and fantastic duel

User: Just played it again and I have to agree. Though he is bound by the harsher tenants of the Qun, he makes valid points about free marcher society. Though it is obvious that he and Hawke will come to blows eventually, the tension builds gradually and understandably

DG: Luke did such a fantastic job with the Arishok I found myself sometimes wishing the Qunari plot had just been THE plot. [source]

User: What do you think would have changed, story wise, if you had more time for DA2?

DG: I would have taken out that thing where Meredith gets the idol. It was forced on me because she needed to be "super-powered" with red lyrium for her final battle. Being "crazy", however, robbed her side of the mage/templar argument of any legitimacy. I hated hated hated that. [source]

User: I deeply lament that there wasn't/couldn't be some sort of DA2 equivalent of Throne of Bhaal's Ascension mod.

DG: I'd have done it, if DA2 had allowed for anything but the most rudimentary of modding. ;) [source]

User: I mean, and I think I understand where you were trying, but how much legitimacy did the Templars and her as top Templar have after they're keeping the mages locked up against their will in the old slave quarters? Feel free to not reply.

DG: I think it's the kind of discussion which requires nuance, and which discussions on the Internet are not prone to. [source]

User: Was a compromise that the quest lines don’t branch? It felt like it was supposed to be that way but then you end up in the same place later regardless of what you pick. Like I hoodwinked the templars so good to help the apostates escape but in Act II they were caught anyway.

DG: I remember us having a lot more branching in the initial planning yes. Most of this got trimmed out in the first or second wave of cuts, in an effort to not cut the plots altogether. [source]

DG: "If you could Zack Snyder DA2, what would you change?" Wow. I'm willing to bet Mark or Mike (or anyone else on the team) would give very different answers than me, but it's enough to give a sober man pause, because that was THE Project of Multiple Regrets. [source] I mean, it's the most hypothetical of hypotheticals. It's never gonna happen. I wouldn't be surprised if EA considered DA2 its embarrassing red-headed stepchild. We'd also need to ignore that in many ways DA2 was as good as it was bad BECAUSE of how it was made. But that aside? [source] First, either restore the progressive changes to Kirkwall we'd planned over the passing of in-game years or reduce the time between acts to months instead of years... which, in hindsight, probably should have been done as soon as the progressive stuff was cut. [source] I'm sure you're like "get rid of repeated levels!" ...but I don't care about that. All I wanted was for Kirkwall to feel like a bigger city. Way more crowded. More alive! Fewer blood mages. [source] I'd want to restore the plot where a mage Hawke came THIS close to becoming an abomination. An entire story spent trapped in one's own head while trapped on the edge of possession. Why? Because Hawke is the only mage who apparently never struggles with this. It was a hard cut. [source]

User: I would LOVE to hear more details about this! I don’t suppose there’s any chance of a short story?

DG: I don't even remember the details of the story, sorry. There was a fight, and you caught the bad guy and then realized none of it was real and woke up idk [source]

DG: I'd want to restore all those alternate lines we cut, meaning people forget they'd met you. Or that they knew you were a mage. Or, oh god, that maybe they'd romanced you in DAO. So much carnage. [source] I'd want to restore the Act 3 plots we cut only because they were worked on too late, but which would have made the buildup to the mage/templar clash less sudden. Though I don't remember what they were, now. Some never got beyond being index cards posted on the wall. [grimace emoji] [source] As I mentioned elsewhere, I'd want to restore Orsino's end battle so he wouldn't need to turn on you even if you sided with him. And I'd want an end fight with the templars that didn't require Meredith to have red lyrium and go full Tetsuo. [source] Heck, maybe an end decision where you sided with neither the mages nor the templars. Because it certainly ended up feeling like you could brand both sides as batshit pretty legitimately, no? That was never planned, tho. No idea how to make that feel like an actual path atm. [source] Maybe an option to go "umm, Anders... what are you DOING?" 👀 [source] And, of course, a Varric romance, because Mary took that "slimy car salesman" character we'd planned and did the impossible with him. I can feel Mary glaring at me for even suggesting this, tho. [source] Lastly, the original expanded opening to the game which allowed you to spend time with Bethany and Carver BEFORE the darkspawn attacked. And, um, that's about it off the top of my head. Zack Snyder, WHAT PANDORA'S BOX HAVE YOU OPENED. [source] Shit, I remembered two more things: 1) Restore the "Varric exaggerates the heck out of the story" at the beginning of every Act, until Cassandra calls him on it. Yes, that was a thing. 2) Make DA: Exodus. Yes, I am still bitter. [source] God damn it, I meant "Make DA: Exalted March". The DA2 expansion, NOT Exodus since that was DA2's original name and makes no sense. Because the expansion ended with Varric dying, and that will always be on my "things left undone" list. [source]

User: Whaaaat?

DG: Well, you know that scene in Wrath of Khan where Spock goes into the dilithium chamber because he's a Vulcan? Well, imagine that but with Varric and red lyrium and because he's a dwarf. ;) [source]

John Epler: I distinctly remember referencing the bit from MGS4 where you crawl through the microwave corridor in the split screen, while cinematic battle rages on the other half. [source]

DG: It would have been glorious, John. Glorious. [source]

JE: I don't think I've ever been so certain what a shot should look like as I did Hawke coming in and finding Varric in the broken throne, just like when he was telling Cassandra his story. [source]

DG: It would have come full circle! Auggghh, it still kills me. [source]

User: Lord, you folks are a little too good at this.

JE: The true secret behind videogame narrative is knowing how to make yourself seem a lot more clever than you actually are. [source] 'Oh, we TOTALLY planned that.' [source]

User: Ok, this thread [the DA2 regrets thread, which is the big chunks above] but Inquisition.

DG: My regrets about Inquisition are, more or less, the normal kind. Nothing so dramatic, I'm afraid. [source]

User: You can keep your Varric romance, I want a Flemeth romance goddamnit!

DG: I would allow for one flirt option, and then a recording of Kate Mulgrew laughing for three minutes straight. [source]

User: I had a hypothesis about the repetitive caves in DA2. They're repetitive because it's Varric telling the story and he didn't consider them important.  They're like sets in a play.  (Okay, I really suspect it was a time/money/resources thing but I like my fake explanation better.)

DG: Hang a lampshade on it, maybe? Cassandra: "But that's the exact cave you were in last time?" Varric: "Whatever. They all look the same, I'm not THAT kind of dwarf. Can we move on?" [source]

User: that makes sense, hypothetically to make Varric romanceable and keep his arc—that had to happen for the main plot—I imagine you would have to make double the content (or more)? which would've been a tall order given the time/budget constraints the game was under

DG: Right. When it comes to "romance arc" vs. "follower story arc", we generally only had time to do one or the other. Never both. Romancing Varric would have meant not getting the story of his that you did. [source]

Mary Kirby: The one exaggeration I really, REALLY wanted, that we never got to do was Varric narrating his own death scene with Hawke weeping over him, then cutting to Cassandra's pissed off glaring at him. [source]

DG: Haha! The one I wanted was Varric's plot where he takes on the baddies single-handedly, sliding across the floor like Jet Lee, action movie-style, until finally Cassandra gets irritated and he has to admit Hawke & the rest of the party showed up to help. [source]

MK: We did that one! (He didn't do any Jet Lee moves, though.) Jepler gave him letterboxing to get The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly showdown vibes while he shot a ton of mooks single-handed. [source]

DG: Wow. Shows how much I remember. [source]

JE: I found it! I remember seeing this sequence as my treat for doing a bunch of much more challenging work. It was fun to see how far I could push our limited library of animations. [link] [source]

DG: Heh awesome. I could have sworn it was cut, honestly. I think I was even in that meeting. [source]

User: no disrespect but that’s surprising and rich of Mary “Hard in Hightown” Kirby to think DA2 shouldn’t have had a Varric romance when she wrote an entire book of Varric’s self-insert character pining over his Hawke insert character… HIH is the reason we had VHawke Summer 2018

DG: I can't *really* speak for Mary, or how she feels about it now compared to back then. I only know how she felt about it back then, and I'm not sure it was as much the concept of the romance but that Varric's entire story would be bent to "romance arc" ...a very different thing. [source]

JH: I remember pushing to have the first DLC start with Hawke having an option to ask Varric, "Did you tell Cassandra about us?" and if you picked it, Varric would answer, "Of course not, baby. I told her you were sleeping with X..." and then proceed as if you had had a full romance. [source]

DG: I still wonder how that would have gone over. x) [source]

JE: Okay, one more DA2 thing. Putting together the cinematics for this scene was a blast. [link] [source]

MK: These lines are my greatest legacy. I want "Make sure the world knows I died... at Chateau Haine!" inscribed on my tombstone. [source]

JE: I was so glad no one said 'no' to the crane shot. [source]

MK: It needs that crane shot. It's the perfect icing on that cake made from solid cheese. [source]

DG: The designers were all "we need more combat" and I think we were all "I think you underestimate just HOW interesting we can make this dinner party". [source]

JE: And finally. I think @SherylChee wrote the one-liner. I think we had a collection of like, 20. [link] [source]

Sheryl Chee: Yeah! Something like that! I remember submitted a whole bunch and Frank said you only needed one. Wish I'd kept the other fifteen. [source]

JE: A random chooser where, each time through the scene, you get a different one-liner. [source]

JE: DA2 is the project I'm the proudest of. I also absolutely get that it didn't land for a lot of people. But I don't think it's inaccurate to say that, in a lot of ways, DA2 defined my career. [source]  Everyone spent a year working at their maximum ability. I was a fresh cinematic designer and was given all of Varric's content, as well as the Act 1 Finale mission. It was a lot for someone who had been doing the Cinematics thing for literally 6 months. [source]  There's some stuff in there I can't look at without wincing. And there's some stuff I'm genuinely proud of. Not to mention, it was my introduction to most of the writing team. Several of whom I'm still working with today! Albeit in a different capacity [source] Also, weirdly, one of my most enduring memories of Dragon Age 2 is how much Bad Company 2 we'd play at lunch. It was a LOT. [source] Every game I've worked on has a game I played attached to it. ME2 is Borderlands. DA2 is Bad Company 2. DAI is DayZ. I, hmm. There's a progression there. I don't know how I feel about it. [source]

User: Is DA4 going to be tarkov then?

JE: I've kind of churned out of Tarkov for now. Probably Hunt Showdown, at least right now. [source]

User: I think people also don't take nuance into consideration -- like I FULLY acknowledge the flaws in my favorite games and will openly criticize them, but that doesn't mean they're not my favorite games anymore??? You can like and thing and still be critical of it.

JE: A lot of my favourite shit is deeply flawed! I acknowledge it and I think it's interesting to dissect the flaws. [source]

User: I still wish Justice was an actual character in DA2 rather than a plot point.

DG: There was a moment during DAI where we *almost* put in you running into Justice with the Grey Wardens, and he's all "Kirkwall? I never went to Kirkwall" [source]

User: Does that imply that Justice was shoehorned in to DA2?

DG: Nah, it was an in-joke where we thought it'd be fun to suggest that "Justice" was simply some demon that tricked Anders in DA2. Wooo those tricky demons! We didn't do it, though. [source]

User: [about templars]  except, I don't think it had very much legitimacy to begin with. keep in mind, we interact with other characters with the same argument. The one that comes to mind is Cullen, a sane templar in power. The templar's side of the argument is inherently flawed.

DG: I don't doubt that many people agree with you, and yet people can and do argue on behalf of the templars as well. My place isn't to pick a side, but to provide evidence that players can interpret for themselves [source]

User: Can you shed some light for us on how DA was able to do multiple same-sex romance options for different genders but the Mass Effect team treated them like the plague? What process existed for your team that just wasn't their for the other tentpole franchise?

DG: Different people making the decisions, almost different cultures. I don't know what it's like now, but for many years the Mass Effect team and the Dragon Age team were almost like two different studios working within the same building. [source]

User: It truly boggles the mind. Kudos for doing demonstrably better on consistent queer representation than the ME teams. Y'all never needed us to make petitions to try to get the studio's attention and ask them to do better by us. That's the fight we're once again embroiled in now.

DG: Honestly, I don't feel like tut-tutting the Mass Effect team. They did their part, and if they were a bit later to the show than the DA team they certainly did more than almost every other game out there -- and willingly. [source]

Updates begin here

User: So what was the reason for naming Dragon age 2 "Dragon age II" and not using a subtitle?

DG: As I recall, that was purely a publisher decision. I think they wanted to avoid the impression it was an expansion. [source]

User: Is there no chance of ever remaking DA2 under better circumstances? -Somehow remove the repetitiveness of gameplay by making changes and updating the tech and adding much more to the storyline. It could almost be a new very exciting game.

DG: I'd say there's zero chance of that. Let's keep our hopes up for the next DA title instead. [source]

User: I am a little confused here, help me out here please! How exactly was the cut boss battle with Orsino supposed to work out? How it would've kept him from turning against the player?

DG: It means that, if you sided with the templars, the entire boss bottle at the end would have been against Orsino and the mages. No fight against Meredith. The end decision would have been more divergent. [source]

User: I do remember that one of the reasons going around for that, was that resources were going to the transition to Frostbite. I'm still not fully sold on that having been a good choice. I felt that more time should have been given for that transition considering it was made for FPSs

DG: We didn't transition to Frostbite until DAI. Given our time frame for DA2, I don't think we *could* have transitioned to a new engine. [source]

User: Since your talking about the what could have been for DA2. Could you say what your script was for Anthem? Cause I remember reading that you wrote the plot on that game.

DG: I created a setting for Anthem and scripted out a plot - but, as I understand it, almost none of that ended up being used. So it's a bit pointless to talk about what I'd planned, as that'd be for some completely different type of game. [source]

User: [in reference to the exchange above where DG said “Being "crazy", however, robbed her side of the mage/templar argument of any legitimacy. I hated hated hated that.” re: Meredith] except, I don't think it had very much legitimacy to begin with. keep in mind, we interact with other characters with the same argument. The one that comes to mind is Cullen, a sane templar in power. The templar's side of the argument is inherently flawed.

DG: I don't doubt that many people agree with you, and yet people can and do argue on behalf of the templars as well. My place isn't to pick a side, but to provide evidence that players can interpret for themselves. [source]

If I missed a tweet, got the wrong source link or included a tweet twice, feel free to let me know and I’ll correct.

Edit / Update: Post update 22nd April

[smokeybrandreviews]

The Rock Bottom of Eternity

I’m going to come clean at the very beginning of the essay: I did not see Black Adam. I do not have a desire to see Black Adam. I was curious, for a while, because it’s taken fifteen years for The Rock to become Black Adam but my good will toward anything DC cinematic not from the Bat-Franchise, has been exhausted. It’s no secret that i thought everything about the DCEU was a misfire, with the exception of the first Wonder Woman. I didn’t like the casting, the aesthetic, the narrative choices, the projected plot, or the fact Zack Snyder was chosen to be “the guy.” Everything about the DCEU was trash and i don’t think The Rock, as much as he is Franchise Viagra, can save something so broken. The Snyderverse should have ever been and trying to cater to those fans has left the principal DC IPs in shambles. Minus Batman. It’s hard to f*ck over Batman. Everyone else? Yeah, they got the shaft.

Black Adam has been absolutely savaged by critics. Again, no plans to actually see this thing in theaters but from what i heard, it feels like a film out of time. It feels like a Phase One MCU outing, which is exactly what it should feel like. Black Adam i supposed to be the entry point to a brand new DC cinematic universe, one that divorces itself from whatever the f*ck Snyder was trying to do. Kind of. I think Flashpoint is about to remedy all of that, even the Ezra Miller problem, by the time credits roll. There seems to be a ton of re-shoots happening over there, most of which coincided wit the re-shoots Black Adam went through this year, so i think there will be continuity between the two films. Out with the old, in with the new. If Black Adam is to be the new DC’s Iron Man, then the vitriol from the critics is worrisome. Or so you would think. Apparently, audiences came out in droves to this thing. So far, it’s tracking for a one hundred, forty million opening weekend and that’s just peachy, especially for DC films going forward.

If that weekend haul wasn’t enough to convince you, the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is sitting at ninety f*cking percent. That’s an absurd number for a film that stars a character no one outside of the comic fandom knows anything about. No, this thing is making bread because of a soft theater slate and the fact The Rock is starring. Franchise Viagra, remember? People are saying that is is a victory for the anti-woke mob and that the fans are being heard but i don’t give ash*t about any of that. It’s all just noise to me at this point. She-Hulk turned out to be just as fun as Black Adam from what i heard, so all the “politics” and “wokeness” are just dog whistles from toxic dudes getting their feelings hurt for being called out on their bullsh*t. What’s more interesting to me is where DC goes from here. You have a hit on your hands right now. It might not be great but Marvel is still reeling from the loss of their Trinity on film. How do you capitalize on this opening if you’re WB and DC? The Rock wants a Superman, Justice League, Suicide Squad, Black Adam battle royale but that’s dumb. Teth-Adam is not that guy, he’s not that level of a threat. Instead, they should just build upon this goodwill and try to construct something that can stand the test of time. The MCU didn’t get “good” until half way through Phase Two with The Winter Solder. That film set the tone for what followed. The DCEU never got to that point. They never had a Winter Soldier or found their Russo Brothers to shepard this franchise.

There are rumors that The Rock has a guy in mind for the job, that if Black Adam did well (which it apparently has) his team would have a shot at leading the direction of the DCEU 2.0. Is this a good idea? I don’t know but, going by The Rock’s history, I'd be inclined to think otherwise. Dude’s ego will always force himself into the forefront. This will immediately stop being a DC franchise effort and become a Dwayne Johnson star vehicle, which is absurd to me. Like, get your money, my guy, for sure, but not at the expense of the DCEU. This is the exact same folly that set Snyder up to ruin these characters for, what? Almost a decade? Ultimately, i am glad Back Adam did well. The Rock was tapped to play this character fifteen years ago so finally having it come to fruition is dope. I’m glad that there is another path to potential success for DC on film. I’m glad that people are supporting a film with so much diversity front and center. I’m glad for a lot of things but that doesn’t mean the future isn’t still murky as f*ck or that Black Adam is good. When there is a laundry list of critical issues with your film but the only positive i can find is that “I was entertained”, i am concerned about your ability to execute in the future.

[teenageaspie]

I remember watching “Man of Steel” for the first time, and while it was a awful film that misunderstood Superman at a fundamental level it did get one thing right .

As an Autsic girl who hears too much, I always thought his powers were a blessing and a curse. On one hand he could do real cool things. On another hand he had to constantly control everything (like how hard he held something) and that must have been exhausting. So it would make sense for sensory overloads.

And we got one in the “Man of Steel”. It was when he first got his x-ray vision. It was the first representation I saw for a sensory overload. It made me  teary-eyed. I felt seen. Because he got the terror and the pain just right to what I experienced. It was amazing especially since I got into superheroes because I saw my autism in them. Wonder Woman had my social awkwardness, Superman had the hearing, and eventually I saw Batman in me. He was the underdog that had to work twice as hard to get the same thing.

Zack Snyder if you see this thank you from the bottom of my heart for the representation.