#your fault. i am not responsible.
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hello hello my dear! My prompt for you is: Wilde bedhead. Do with it as you will <3 -shofics <3
sho honey i wrote this days ago and have been waiting for jerry so we could post together and treat you real good. but has jerry finished yet? nooooooo. no she has not. and i am impatient. so here's your ficlet without art
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Zolf wakes first. The bed is softer than he’s used to, warmer too with Wilde’s penchant for excessive blankets and thick quilts trapping the heat from both of their bodies. Wilde’s snoring gently, drooling from the side of his mouth that used to be rough with scar tissue from years ago, from another life. It really feels like that, the time between last Zolf saw him this vulnerable stretching back like a chasm, a deep pit he doesn’t want to focus on.
No point dwelling, though. Zolf rolls over and gets up, wheeling his way through to Wilde’s kitchen.
Wilde’s a clever man, thoroughly deliberate with his plans and intentions. It doesn’t slip Zolf’s notice that Wilde’s bought himself a flat with wide hallways and low benches, something he doesn’t need for himself. Zolf coughs to himself as if the action would be enough to dislodge that fact from his heart, unstick it from where it’s landed.
The coffee’s exactly where Zolf’d expect Wilde to keep it, a small unlabeled tin near the back of the hob, and Zolf can just reach it if he pulls himself in close, leans right over the bench. Wilde used to live off the damn stuff, back when they were travelling, back when they were posted in the inn. Used to have five or six a day when he was working on something that really sucked him in. A memory comes to Zolf, and he puts the tin of coffee back, reaches instead for the loose leaf tea.
Sometimes they’d have downtime. Never for long, never very often, but sometimes there was no rush, no need for black coffees and sleepless nights. Those days Wilde would sit with the rest of them for breakfast, hands around a cup of milky tea.
Today’s a Saturday, and while Zolf hasn’t exactly figured out what it is Wilde does for a living these days, he doubts it would be as important as saving the world, doubts he can’t afford him this little break here and now.
He busies himself with the process of brewing a pot of tea, the familiar method a sure thing to focus on. Leaves, strainer, hot water, wait. Wilde’s usual mug is nowhere to be found, left behind at the inn in Japan, so Zolf chooses two at random, one for each of them.
The tea’s ready to be poured when Wilde gets up, that impeccable timing he’s mastered the art of only coming into effect for the most trivial things. Zolf can hear his footsteps in the hallway, and then he’s there in the door, smiling at Zolf like he never left him, like it hasn’t been five years and three letters, too long to really pass off as just a break.
Wilde’s in his robe, his favoured bright purple with slippers to match, and he leans into the doorframe, watching Zolf as he pours their tea. His hair is a mess, flat on one side from being slept on, the other half tangled haphazardly from where he’s shoved it off his face, behind his ear, over his shoulder. He’s been growing it out ever since they shaved it back in Damascus, but it’s never regrown with colour. Neither has Zolf’s, mind, but Zolf’s never cared much for his looks. Wilde, however- this is new. He’s certainly giving off the impression that he doesn’t care for his looks, or at least doesn’t mind. His eyes are bleary and his cheeks are flushed, and that damn hair is all over the place in a way Zolf’s never seen before, and he doesn’t know why it’s this that gets him, but his heart catches in his chest and he has to look away.
“Tea’s ready,” he says, and Wilde crosses the room to join him at the small kitchen table. He yawns as he sits down, back of his hand to his mouth to hide it, and he’s still smiling that damn soft smile.
“Welcome home, Zolf,” Wilde says, and for the first time in his life, Zolf knows it to be true.
#rqg#ask#shofics#zolf smith#rqg wilde#i actually made them this soft just for you. i wouldn't usually write something so sickly sweet. nope not me. not ever#this wasn't incredibly indulgent and a pleasure to write ha ha what#shhhh.#your fault. i am not responsible.
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The "pulling a Bharv" scene honestly demonstrates so much that is wrong with the character-writing in this game, but I want to focus on the very end of it.
Narratively, after teaching the audience something like "pulling a Bharv" AKA doing pushups to show you mean your apology, you want to have one of the audience stand-ins then participate in the ritual. It makes the scene more satisfying and feel less like a random lecture. (Though...)
However, "pulling a Bharv" requires a character apologizing for committing a wrong, and one thing Veilguard cannot tolerate is any of the companion characters doing anything hurtful, ignorant, prejudiced, or otherwise incorrect.
So what do they do? They have Bellara apologize for eating food that was meant to be shared at a gathering of friends.
Unless you are from Minnesota*, which I'm fairly certain Bellara is not if only based on her accent and not the fact that Thedas doesn't have a Minnesota, eating food at a party is not something you are ever expected to apologize for. She didn't eat all of Taash's favorite food. She didn't sneak the food before the party or cut a piece of birthday cake before the candles have even been lit. She didn't go into someone else's pantry and take some random item of food that wasn't meant for the party.
The food had been served. Presumably it had been out there for a while, because we join the scene as things seem to be winding down. The food is available, it is for Bellara to eat, and she eats some. It is a completely non-objectionable action, the only kinds of actions Veilguard companions are allowed to take.
She still has to apologize for the scene to work, however, so she does. Bizarrely, this has the outcome of making Taash come off as a bully, because what kind of immature jackass gets upset that someone ate the provided food at a party? How domineering is Taash that Bellara immediately resorts to apologizing and placating them in order to avoid their anger?
It also makes the scene nonsensical and makes the gathering seem like a complete drag. Feel free not to invite Rook to these ever again, thanks.
*If you are from Minnesota, eating the last piece of food off a shared plate is punishable by being immediately ejected from Minnesota, but most people do not consider this much of a hardship.
#coming up with things for bellara to actually apologize for and the first thing that comes to mind is a 'your mom' joke#veilguard critical#veilguard negative#bioware critical#dragon age critical#datv critical#veilguard spoilers#moreover rook has been therapizing bellara to not take responsibility for things that aren't her fault the entire game#so for rook to encourage her to apologize for EATING AT A PARTY#is fucking bizarre#datv negative#I told myself I was done being a hater and I am I swear I am
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Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that small moment in “Air Turtle” where immediately after the Daves lose yet another game, Leo says how sorry he is and how he’s doing his best as the mascot. This moment is so short but it’s honestly jam-packed with a whole heap of characterization.
His need to apologize for things clearly not his fault - especially when it feels like he messes up the job he was given despite doing the best he can (the phrase “it’s not about you” takes a new meaning when this is one of the lessons to be learned from that - that he is not always solely responsible for things going wrong), his need to save face and make a connection with an older adult man in his life (something he consistently does throughout the series - he’s got a few daddy issues, always collecting potential father figures, it’s no wonder he jumps at the bit to keep rapport), and the way he sounds and looks and the words he chooses really pushes how he is just a kid (“Mr. the Dunk, I’m so sorry”).
Like I know it’s a one off moment that doesn’t truly mean much, but when put against the rest of the series it works really well with the rest of Leo’s established character and helps in solidifying later concepts as well.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#am I looking too much into things? almost assuredly yes#I actually appreciate how tim immediately goes ‘it’s not your fault’ as well? like he could’ve just blamed this 15/16 year old but he didn’t#but yeah this moment got to me a little mainly because it made me realize that Leo…DOES take responsibility for things a lot#he messes up a ton yeah but he says sorry at a pretty consistent rate#and y’know thinking about it#THIS IS TINFOIL HAT TERRITORY BE WARNED#he’s mentioned being betrayed by his brothers before - I wonder if it was something as simple as taking the fall for like#breaking something of Splinters or whatever#point is it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to get the full blame for something only partially his fault#or not his fault at all in some cases#like in bug busters where Raph gets mad at Leo for not getting captured with them#(I understand Raph’s mindset here a ton - Raph’s the leader and he’s likely lashing out so I don’t blame the poor kid)#but this plus the moment at the beginning of the movie#where only Leo is reprimanded despite Mikey and Donnie having full autonomy to join the fun pizza stacking#make no mistake this is not at all a diss on everyone else!!! it’s just something I noticed#I think that “it’s not about you” doesn’t just pertain to being arrogant and wanting the spotlight#I think it’s also about how responsibility is meant to be shared#and like#Leo DOES mess up a lot! so he’s honestly probably used to having the blame because it is often at least somewhat warranted#he’s specifically described as being good at apologizing after all#tldr: Leo messes up a lot of the time so he is very used to blame and attention both good and bad#even when the full blame should not be solely on his shoulders
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ppl like "i have to use ay-eye bc i can't drawwwww :(" ok whose fault is that. i can't draw either u know who's fault that is?? mine!!!! it isn't a bad thing but if i am unwilling to learn to draw that is Exclusively My Fault buddy!!!! if u refuse to practice that is, in fact, a you problem!!!! that's fine!!!! but u dont get to pretend u HAVE to use ay-eye bc an Uncontrollable Force prevents u from learning to draw!!!! u could just Go Learn!!!!
#it's also your fault if you can't kill the perfectionist in ur head. ALSO fine; there's nothing wrong with never overcoming that issue#but like. it IS a you problem. you are the only one who can fix it and acting like it's uncontrollable is frankly crybaby behavior#sorry!!!!! no one else has any power whatsoever to make you a good artist! it's ALL you!!!#yoshi talks#sry this was about ay-eye at first but now it's about everyone who whines about wishing they could draw like. who do u think is#responsible for that. whining about a thing you refuse to do and can only be done BY you is! frustrating and annoying!#i am sorry if this is the first ur hearing about it but nobody wants to hear u disparrage smth you refuse to make better when u are#in fact the only one who CAN make it better. whining will not fix it and it will not make you feel any better#if u want to learn to draw u have to learn to draw. that's it!!! it's fine if you don't want to put in that effort!!!#it's NOT fine if you then whine about the choice U made!!!!#and it IS a choice to not work on it bc it's hard/frustrating/confusing#it's that for everyone. the only difference between u and artists is artists chose to do it anyway.
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bruh seeing posts like "this is time to organize" like man sorry to tell you but online leftists arent gonna do shit they couldnt even vote and now everything is gonna be so much worse like. Everyone who didnt vote is far too self-absorbed or lazy to do any activism that isnt reblogging inflammatory post
#im so mad its unreal#if you chose not to vote for 'moral' reasons eat shit this is your fault you knew this would happen#'dont blame ppl who didnt vote they are marginalized too' unless their vote was suppressed im blaming them because they should know better#and they still decided to abandon everyone because it made them feel better as an individual#i might delete this but i am so mad and so fed up with useless leftists doing worse than nothing. you are responsible. feel bad.
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crazyyyy that rook doesn’t blame themselves doesn’t even get the OPTION to blame themselves for freeing the gods
#i am NOT a everything is rooks fault solas did nothing wrong reuther#willfully ignorant way to interpret the text#*truther#BUT it’s crazy that in a game ostensibly about. doing the lengths u go to to fix your mistakes ohhhh ur just like solas oooooo regrets#you can’t. actually. regret#regret prison is just your companions and varric?? u don’t regret anything else my guy??#crazy to not feel any responsibility for releasing the gods#datv critical#sorry at this point i’m just complaining#nothing comprehensible to be seen here
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when is the next update you said you split the chapter in half??? this is the best story i have read in the atla fandom. i love it so much!!
I did split the chapter in half! & then I added another 10k of words during editing and now it’s ummmm… 24k. But I’m in the process of posting it now just gotta key smash those lovely authors notes and it’ll be up in about an hour lol.
thanks for the compliment I am GIDDY <3
#I love when people say they love liab#But I would argue it’s far from the best in the fandom#BUT I AM GLAD ITS THE BEST IN YOUR HEART ANON <3333#I’m going to rub my face on the keyboard and the authors note should be done#Essentially how I do it lol#Now I’m saying it right now#I am not responsible for the cliff hanger#It’s not MY FAULT#hehehe#liab#itf#leaving it all behind#Ask
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Something something the spot’s goofy antics distract from how dangerous his own entitlement and resentment is
#I don’t want to be that guy but I feel a little bit like spot gets sanded down a tad into just the fact he’s funny#and he IS funny I get it. but what makes him scary is the power to lash out with his entitlement and resentment towards miles#it’s you did this TO ME (miles didn’t#he was busy getting pummeled by kingpin and then venom shocking him back and the building was being EVACUATED it’s literally no one’s fault#but spot’s that he was there AND miles didn’t even know he was there when the collider exploded)#so I’m owed the role that you made me into <- miles literally didn’t do this#I’m OWED being your nemesis because I created you <- when all of itsv is about its miles own choices that make him heroic and not the bite#spot can’t even take ownership of his own actions. he’s like oh IM not robbing you that’s the bank. well buddy I don’t see you robbing the#bank I see you harassing some guy owning a corner store#like I get it. ur a cosmic horror and it sucks capitalism is pushing u down and u can’t get a job but like OWN UP TO WHAT THE HELL YOU DO#LMAO#and even miles trying to genuinely reach out and say look I’m sorry I made u feel bad (even though this isn’t an owed apology) and spot#STILL is hellbent on breaking miles back for an imagined slight#I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR LITERAL FATHER BECAUSE I BLAME YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDNT DO#like god lmao. he’s a fun silly villain but there’s legitimate anger and spite and RESENTMENT motivating him purely to try hurt miles back a#as* badly as he imagines miles hurt him. when it’s like dude. own tf up to who’s responsible here#I’m not angry at the spot btw I actually think he’s a fun villain but I think recognising that resentment is what makes him effective as a#*frightening* villain and one that poses legitimate danger#tunes talks spiderverse#apologies xinakwans ik u said you didn’t want to read any spot posts hopefully this snags on ur filtered content block shdjfjfk
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Alright, this is my last comment on the issue, for real this time.
@nerdykeppie is staffed by unprofessional, rude, cruel people who double down on their entitlement to be unprofessional, rude and cruel in public to their former customers.
You should know the sorts of people you're giving money to if you patronize them. The founder is liable to misread your words, lash out at you in anger over something he misunderstood, and generally behave like a tantruming child even if you go out of your way to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt when he lashes out at you over his own poor reading comprehension.
I'm done getting into this. No, Spider is not ~required~ to be professional on his (public) personal blog which is closely tied to his business. I just think it's extremely stupid to double down on his "right" to be unprofessional on his public blog when he owns a business that is clearly tied to said public blog, because it reflects very poorly on both his personal character and his business. I think it is hilariously foolish and an extremely poor decision to openly advertise and defend your founder's unprofessionalism, which speaks of general lack of professionalism and poor judgment throughout the whole business, not just from Spider (though his lack of good judgment and public unprofessionalism is the most obvious).
So. Best of luck in the people involved resolving whatever problem in their lives that they're taking out on me, and beware interacting with them in any way because they will absolutely be rude as shit to you and then smear you in public and private for (/checks hand) apologizing for a miscommunication because you didn't mean what they incorrectly interpreted you to mean.
I can't fucking believe they still think they're in the right here and *I* am the one who needs to be ~asked not to contact them again~. You answered me THREE TIMES *after* I had blocked you because you cannot let go of the fact that you were wrong about a stupid fucking plastic pumpkin and the fact that I went OUT OF MY WAY to give you the benefit of the doubt.
(two of those three asks were frantic apologies because I genuinely felt terrible, and they were both met with meanness and scorn and snide insults about my communication failures.
Lol. Me. I'm the one who is failing to communicate and has poor reading comprehension because you misunderstood me and started lashing out like I personally strangled all of your pets for having the filthy nerve to apologize and try to clear it up.
Yeah. I'm the villain here. Sure, Jan.)
I'm done now, but enjoy having your unprofessional, cruel, immature nonsense publicly exposed. I stand by my actions (the ones I actually took in real life, not the fake pretend ones you made up because you misunderstood what I wrote) and I look forward to you experiencing the natural consequences of your own.
Don't give money to childish jerks.
#how fucking dare you lmao#the gall is just mind boggling#nerdykeppie#this is the last time I'm addressing this period.#tagging it only so other people looking at the tag can make informed decisions about whether to give their money elsewhere#you would think a business would give a shit about its founder being an ass in public on the social media site where you get large amounts#of your publicity and advertising but hey#not my funeral!#they can shoot themselves in the foot as many times as they please#but their potential customers should know this is what they do and how they behave!#also loving the incel response of “you turned me down?? well I never wanted to fuck you anyway!!!”#yeah uh huh sure you totally had no plans to use my photos#that's why you asked for my permission to use my photos#but whatever makes you feel soothed from your hissy fit I guess#don't buy from nerdykeppie#keep digging that hole babe you're just making yourself look worse and worse and worse#side note#there is little funnier#than someone throwing an extremely public tantrum#because you (gasp) reported on the words they said and actions they took of their own volition#HOW DARE I SHARE THE THINGS YOU SAY#what a monster I am for making you look so bad by publishing the things you said that are bad!#keep digging that hole I'll keep saving all the screenshots#if I have to involve a lawyer fine#not my fault not my doing not my job to shield a grownass adult business owner from the consequences#of throwing a massive shitfit tantrum in public over being exposed for throwing a massive shitfit tantrum because#and I cannot stress this enough#HE#misunderstood ME#and doubled down when I apologized
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion. Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave. While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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I can tell you live in the U.S because only an american child would lack this much common sense.
And no you aren't in the clear. You are allowed to write yes. You can write in private and no one will ever know, but this is a public platform. Posting explicit content to the internet as a minor is against the law. Not to fucking mention the legal liability you put others at risk for interacting with you.
You arent creating a safe space to cope. Youve only gone and put a target on your back as a potential child to groom. Aswell as given many quick access to other such blogs. Youve created a space that hids child groomers the best out of all of them. Any one of the people who interact with you could be a child groomer masquerading as a "safe adult", or even another minor.
The safest way for a child to be on the internet is to be invisible. But all you kids do in your quest to have a voice or say in matters you are too young to have a say in, in your need to be on a moral high horse and enact your online rebel vigilante justice, Is make it easier for minors to be found and targeted.
Let me rephrase.
You are a child. It is not your job nor responsibility to create a "safe space" for such a sensitive and dangerous topic for your age. It is not your job nor responsibility to fight back against stigma over teens having sexual desires or using fiction to cope with trauma. It is not your job nor responsibility to carry the burden of reassuring others that they are normal or okay.
All you are doing right now is putting yourself and others in danger. You and every other minor on here openly claiming to be a minor. It is "safe spaces" like this that get targeted. Especially on an anonymous heavy site like tumblr.
You do not understand or care about the consequences of your actions because you do not believe any except that which you choose to imagine exist. You think its not that deep but it is and ive seen it happen far too many times before.
You aren't being smart, or brave.
You're being stupid and selfish plain and simple.
baby i have no clue what you’re talking about
#⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ angel’s dreams⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎#⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ angel’s enemies >:( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎#i feel like i should give you your own tag atp#it is not my fault if adults choose to knowingly interact with a minor who writes smut#your little rants reek of victim blaming and i’m getting a little sick of it#i am not asking to be groomed because i write smut#and if you think i am you’re no better than the people who defend groomers.#it is not my responsibility to make sure no one is creepy towards me#it is the responsibility of the adult that would groom me to be a decent fucking person and not groom a minor.
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"not pro-ana just using the tags" "pro-ana only for myself" Ok but you see how you're still hurting people right. you see how you're perpetuating this mindset for other people by posting about it right.
#i went through the proana tag a few weeks back when i was in a very vulnerable state#and ofc i am not trying to imply its their fault for my mental state; i am responsible for my own actions; i chose to go through the tag#BUT.#even then#the amount of times i saw the sentiment “im not pro-ana im just using it to get more notes on the picture of me being really skinny”#or a vent post with the tags “proana but just for myself” really irritated me#i know what its like to be in that position. I do. i understand that you feel like whst youre doing to yourself is right and that you want-#to find like-minded people because you feel so alone#i understand wanting to talk to people that you feel like “get it” and not people that will try to help you recover because-#you feel like youre making “progress” and that deep down you feel ashamed#But if youre 'proana just for yourself“ or ”just using thr tags“? dont fucking use the tag#if you know that its wrong (shich it sounds like you do based on the clarification that youre not ACTUALLY pro-ana-#in some attempt to win the moral olympics) then dont post under the tag because its going to make things worse for people who ARE#and i KNOW. ive had the same thought before. “but i dont think you should have an ED bc its bad for u; im just doing it for a little bit”#or “just for me & i can stop whenever” and we all know how that ends#but if you ARENT proana then dont use the tags to send proana sentiments to other people who are obviously struggling#youre making it worse for people. stop it#beverly says stuff#tw ed discussion#tw ana#tw eating issues
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sent scary email brain is now stewing with every single possible worst outcome that could possibly come of this im going to have a stroke
#don't kick me off the team don't kick me off the team don't kick me off the team junior year is hard#pls bro collegeboard is absolutely whack you have to sign up HELLA early for good SAT seats its not#my fault that they test like 6 times a year with limited fucking testing centers#i do have to volunteer too. and idk if its worth it but holy shit bro i need those hours and ffs its relevant to what im pursuing#or planning on pursuing#listen listen listen guard??? cannot be my whole life???????#mr guard director if you have a tumblr and see this somehow i swear im going to watch all the full ensemble videos#and memorise everything to the point of insanity#jeezos#moots what do u want im writing my final will and testament#do you want every orv post ive ever made ITS YOURS#ill buy a djungleskog and raffle it out specifically for the day i die which is soon atp#i am so cooked i am so cooked you guys its over it is krimpover#im going to forget anything ever happened im going to travel to the moon kiana kaslana style and stay there#theres no sports credit on the moon. theres no collegeboard on the moon. no. no responsibility. just moon#pls#PLSSS
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Proposal for Re-working the Kholins’ Character Arcs - a semi-coherent “essay” by me (feat. @akpaley, thank you for your contributions and for your attempts at editing.)
Hey guys. Different kind of post this time around, compared to my usual brand. It’s time for some fix-it fanfiction masquerading as literary critique. I won’t be using a readmore, I dunno, probably to punish anyone still following this blog or something. So! In this post I’m going to solve the all the issues of racial theming associated with the Kholin family.
I’m often very harsh on the Kholins for benefitting so much from exploitative power structures while doing little to help those below them. But then I’ve also criticized them for actually addressing these very problems in-universe. How can I be upset at them for their inaction and then also be annoyed when Jasnah ends slavery? The short answer to all of this is just that the ways these topics are addressed all feel very inauthentic. For example, in real life history it took over a century of protests, slave revolts, political campaigning, and civil wars to legally end slavery in Europe and America, and abolitionists were met with fierce opposition at every turn. A fictional world need not follow our same historical trajectory, but it still seems a little disingenuous for a monarch to just decide to end it within her first year of power because it doesn’t mesh with her philosophical framework. It’s more like trying to wrap up a subplot than actually address the topic.
Ultimately however, there’s only so far this line of criticism can ever take me because the Kholins are the protagonists and you can’t get rid of them without turning the whole story into something else entirely. And Sanderson shouldn’t have to, these are characters that he created and he’s allowed to tell a story about them. And I actually like a lot of their personalities and arcs and outlooks quite a lot. I do think it’s...unfortunate...to have used slavery and racism as disposable props in a story that ultimately turned out to be about a bunch of royals learning to be better people and saving the world along the way. So I guess what I’m interested in is if there’s a way to keep the premise, keep the characters, keep the general story beats, keep the themes of honor and personal growth, keep the basic structure of everything, and still handle those themes with grace. You know, could this be a compassionate story about addressing racism told from the point of view of nobility? Is such a thing possible?
Well, I’m going to try my best. And I’m going to be imperfect about it, obviously, so if you actually care enough to read all this shit, I welcome discussion and disagreement.
Jasnah is the most obvious example to point to as being indicative of the problem, but I also think she has the easiest character fixes. She’s already been established as an outspoken dissident on many of her society’s deeply ingrained values. Just add to her atheism and feminism that she’s also always been an outspoken abolitionist. Give her ties to an ongoing reformist movement. Have her lecture Shallan about it in Way of Kings. Make that a reason she’s butted heads with her family so much. I do think it’s poor writing to have a ruler end slavery on a whim, but I won’t deny that having the right person in power can make a huge difference. It’s not as cathartic as having Kaladin lead a slave revolt (or as having Moash destroy society <3) but that doesn’t make it inherently bad so long as the topic itself is still treated with weight. Have her moralistic ideology be firmly pre-established so that when she has to explain why she’s abolishing slavery, her reasoning can be purely pragmatic. The reason she’s moving so fast is because this is a historical point of heightened change, and so her reforms are more likely to work, but if she waits too long and things settle back into a new status quo, she may have missed her window. Not to mention, when her nephew comes of age, her own legitimacy as a ruler might be challenged, so she needs to do as much as she can in what may be end up being a short reign. As a character, Jasnah has always been able to girlboss her way past political realities through sheer force of personality, and that’s great and all, but I think it heightens her character’s competence if she does have to deal with real backlash, not just to her but to her policies as well. The narrative doesn’t even need to linger on her opposition, but acknowledging it and acknowledging that she’s simply a member of a preexisting and ongoing movement would have done wonders to portray slavery as a real and prescient issue. Then again, this is a topic which people have fought and continue to fight wars over, so it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to have receive major backlash either; perhaps when the Kholins hear in Words of Radiance that she was assassinated, the news could come as tragic but not entirely unexpected so as to imply that her opposition has attempted such in the past. All this is to say, I don’t think it’s at all wrong for Jasnah to do what she did. I also don’t think her entire stance on abolitionism should have come down to a comment where she tells her uncle she’s trying to rule according to ethically consistent values. The fact that slavery was insultingly easy to end not only delegitimizes is as a topic worthy of discussion, but also is a really scathing indictment of literally everyone else in the ruling class who didn’t even think to try.
Jasnah done, easy, Dalinar next.
Dalinar is probably the most complicated character for me to discuss and form coherent statements on. He’s just so rife with contradictions down to his core. That’s probably why I continue to like him so much, why he’s still my favorite, even though I still consider him to be a Bad Person over all. I think deep down I’ll always lean a bit too pacifistic ideologically to ever consider a warlord/general to be a good person, no matter how honorable he may be or how much growth he may undergo. Don’t get me wrong, I still do love his growth. Dalinar is characterized by his constant change and forward momentum, even moreso than the rest of the cast. So for discussing him, at what point can I point to him and say “this is Dalinar, this is who he is, this is what he believes and what he cares about”? Of course, during any point in his arc, you’re going to have to grapple with the fact that all of his lofty rhetoric about honor and striving for personal betterment is ultimately going to be pretty useless to all the people whose lives he’s meaninglessly thrown away across his military career. For me personally, when I talk about his character I like to take the end-of-oathbringer approach, where I acknowledge everything he did in the past as Blackthorn, I agree that it was pretty fucked up, and I forgive him and grant him a clean slate. All this to say that even if I’m judging him purely by his behavior as the current Dalinar within the present day continuity of the books, he’s still a massive hypocrite with horrific amounts of blood on his hands which he’s never even bothered to consider. I dunno, when I first read Way of Kings and I first got to meet this general who’s leading an army in a literal genocide campaign, I sort of figured he’d get some kind of “wait am I the bad guy” moment at some point in the future. And he did get a moment in Oathbringer where he has to fully confront his guilt over past actions, it was great, I really really loved it! But it was also all about actions he took before the series even started, so I guess wiping out the listeners wasn’t a sin he thought needed any atonement. I’m not going to get into the narrative’s treatment of singers and listeners on this post (for no other reason than because I have waaaaaaay too much to say there) but the point I’m getting at is that however good Dalinar’s growth is and whatever direction it takes, it’s always going to have poisonous roots to me. And his treatment of class/racial issues is no different.
Fixing Dalinar is going to take a lot of what Dalinar does best: introspection. In Way of Kings, Dalinar dislikes how Sadeas treats his bridgemen because he believes it to be dishonorable, because he believes Sadeas is forcing others into a situation that he himself would never put himself into. He also has various sympathetic reflections here and there about how sad it is when soldiers die, and about how without the benefit of the Thrill, violence is actually kind of bad. You know how it goes. But I don’t think he ever put himself at risk to actually help or protect any of the people who are dying. Whether he wants to end the war or not, he still continues to participate in it. And he’s still willing to set aside the lives of literally everyone beneath him so he can pursue his dream of unity. The book ends with Kaladin and the rest of bridge four saving him and Adolin, and in gratitude, he purchases their freedom and gives them honored positions in his household. You know, because he’s so honorable. Everyone loves this scene, so I’m going to make it the catalyst for Dalinar’s new and improved character development. The problem with saying Kaladin helped Dalinar so Dalinar helped Kaladin is that when I’m being reductive and uncharitable (like I’m being right now), I can argue that their relationship basically started as a quid pro quo. This scene is meant to prove that Dalinar really is the most honorable person in Alethkar, just as Syl thought, only it doesn’t actually do that. See I don’t actually want Dalinar to start treating Kaladin as an equal. I want Dalinar to, in that moment, realize that Kaladin is better than him. That for all of his pontificating about honor, he would have never even considered risking his own life and the lives of his own family to rescue a bunch of bridgemen. I want him to see Kaladin’s honor, and rather than be validated in his beliefs, I want him to be thoroughly humbled. Let him spend all next book reflecting on all the lives of darkeyes he’s destroyed. Let it shame him, as Evi’s death shamed him. He already flirts with these lines of thought, and he already has an arc about confronting his past actions. Let the racial injustices he’s participated in be a part of that. Let him abandon his books and traditions instead look to Kaladin to learn what honor truly means. I don’t know how any of this would translate to his actions, because if we’re being honest his ideals are already quite incongruous with his actions, but the fact that he manages to have such strong theming regardless makes me think maybe that’s okay. I guess ultimately it would be enough for me if his character, as someone who symbolizes the ideals of a nation, was able to look at a darkeyes publicly be a follower rather than always trying to lead by his own personal example.
That’s Dalinar. Elhokar next?
I actually don’t think there’s too much wrong with Elhokar’s writing, especially in the first two books where a much greater emphasis on these themes were placed. He’s not a protagonist and we the audience aren’t supposed to endorse his actions. Most of what I’d change about his story is more about Kaladin and Moash than it is about him. I definitely don’t love that he can throw away the lives of his own people by the thousands in the genocide campaign that was the vengeance war, and then have the narrative just ignore all that in favor of him being sad about his own incompetence. If Elhokar is meant to be a sympathetic character, then when he calls himself a bad king, that’s what he should be thinking about, the number of lives he’s wasted over these years. I actually like him a lot more as a less sympathetic character, and I think I would have preferred if in oathbringer the narrative and the other characters would have stopped making so many excuses for him. Back to Kaladin and Moash, those are the two characters defined by their experiences as members of the downtrodden caste, so I personally sort of judge the problematic-ness of the whole story by how they get treated. Everyone loves to talk about how those two are foils. So. In order to strengthen Kaladin and Moash’s characters, either Elhokar needs to be as much of a monster as Amaram, or Amaram needs to be just as sympathetic and conflicted and having-of-a-toddler as Elhokar. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely love the trope of finding at the end of a revenge quest that the person you hated has changed and grown. But I hate how this means that Moash’s hatred is wrong and unjustified, whereas Kaladin’s is validated at every turn. I don’t actually dislike Elhokar. I mean I think he’s a bad person, but I like a lot of characters who are bad people. I just think that if this story really wants to grapple with class and race (because it sure brings them up a lot for a story that doesn't want to talk about them), then Moash is a much more important character than him, with a lot more to add to that kind of discussion, which is why I think Elhokar’s characterization would have to come second to Moash’s development. (Obviously if this series were being reworked to be better on this topic, Moash would have to be written with a lot more compassion in general, but this post isn’t about him.)
Intermission time. Gavilar.
Gavilar is already perfect, 10/10, great character all around, what a guy, no notes, no wonder he’s so universally beloved among all of the fans, social justice icon.
Okay onto Navani.
I may not be the best person to talk about Navani. She has never been a favorite character of mine, and so compared to the others I haven’t thought as much about her values or the way she thinks or the narrative impacts of her actions. Someone who has more love for her would probably write better criticisms of her. (I’m going to reject any premise that falls along the lines of “Navani isn’t racist because she feels X,” but I’m not wholly confident in my analysis here, and I welcome any good faith critiques both of my own thinking and of her character when come at from other angles.) It’s hard to say where she should have grown from how she starts out viewing darkeyes because I don’t actually know how she starts out viewing darkeyes. I know I’m probably meant to assume she just treats everyone equally because she’s a Good Person on Team Good Guys, but it’s hard to just accept that she had all around good values when she married a warlord and was in love with his more violent brother. I dunno, was her “good guy” status meant to have always been an element of her character, or did she get it secondhand from her association with the new and improved Dalinar? With someone like Adolin, we got to see what shitty values he held at the start of Way of Kings (I’m talking about the Alethi warmongering, not his interest in fashion) but we also got to see how his father gradually won him over throughout the course of the book, and then later on we get to see him develop further on his own. For someone like Navani, I find it strange how she’s always so proactively supportive of Dalinar in everything, even when his own goals and values are in flux. I assume her character is just meant to be super ride or die when it comes to her family, and I do like that in a character, but that also means that she’s been wholly willing to support or at the very least excuse her family’s oppression and exploitation of darkeyes without comment. (See, Lirin is a much better parent than Navani, he would never have let his son start a whole genocidal vengeance war for fun and profit (I say this as if I’m joking but I’m kinda not.)) Some people have reminded me that she was pretty much shut out of the political process by Gavilar and Elhokar, and I agree with that, but I don’t really have any evidence that she would have cared much about darkeyes even if she had been more involved. In general it just seems like the whole topic doesn’t matter much to her. So what I would wish for the narrative would be to lean further into this. Draw attention to her cognitive dissonance and try and make the readers feel conflicted about her as a person. Highlight the fact that she’s willing to overlook the suffering that befalls other families if it means success for her own. I think one of my issues with her is that to me, this is a major (and interesting!) character flaw, but the books never seem to treat it as such. Honestly I think if this were intentional, I’d probably find her character really interesting, but from my reading of the text, I feel that I’m supposed to think of Navani as a generally decent person who’s by and large on the right side of things. The thing is, with the caste system playing such an integral role in their culture, I think she needs to have some sort of feelings about it, or else the fact that she doesn’t should be an issue to overcome. Otherwise she becomes another factor delegitimizing racial oppression as a real and important problem. If she’s a good guy and she doesn’t care about racism, then that’s saying you don’t have to be antiracist to be a good person in this world.
Probably could have done that one better. I dunno. Leave me angry and hateful comments if I’m totally misrepresenting your favorite character. Moving on.
Adolin already has some great character development across the books. And he already has kind of engaged with this stuff in his story. Unfortunately, that’s less used in the “this person was racist but is becoming better sense” and more used in the sense of “Kaladin learns that #NotAllLighteyes are bad” which is pretty unfortunate for a number of reasons. Especially since, if he actually was going to prove he’s different from other lighteyes, out of all the Kholins I think Adolin is the best candidate for being a full on class traitor. I’m serious, looking back over the events of his plotlines, it would suit him shockingly well while disturbing the overall narrative shockingly little.
Adolin’s current plot is loosely as follows: in Way of Kings he likes all the things someone of his station is supposed to like, clothes, violence, dueling, warfare, swords, hangtime with the guys, all the good stuff. At the beginning of the book he doesn’t understand why old, stuck-up Dalinar can’t just let loose and be a relelntless war-monger like everyone else, but by the end of the book he’s come to understand a certain value to honor and thus has begun to become a better person himself. Words of Radiance has him lose his popularity, fall out of favor with all of his friends, grow disillusioned with his society, perform a prison sit-in in solidarity with Kaladin, and murder Sadeas. Most of this is done again, because of his father, and how Adolin now wants to help and support him and his ideals. In Oathbringer he mostly isn’t involved in courtly politics, being away on a mission for much of it, but he does make a pretty big move by rejecting the throne. In Rhythm of War we see the schism that’s formed between him and his father until he leaves on another long-distance mission. Summary over. In general I reject the idea that making the Kholins be individually less racist makes for a better, or more nuanced and compassionate discussion of the topic, but if anyone is primed for a “lighteyes learns racism is wrong” character arc, I think it’s Adolin. Imagine him following a bit less in Dalinar’s footsteps and a bit more in Jasnah’s. You almost don’t even have to change any story beats: in getting to know Kaladin, something clicks in Adolin where he realizes that if he wants to treat Kaladin as his equal, he has to treat all darkeyes as equals, and so he realizes to his horror that he and his entire caste of friends and family are all monsters for treating them the way they do. (Actually, there is one plotline in WoR I’d probably scrap, and that’s his slowburn bromance with Kaladin. I mean I get what Sanderson was going for with the ribbing and then eventual friendship, but Kaladin was an absolute stranger who risked his own life to save Adolin and his father from certain death, and so I feel there should probably have been a bit more overt respect upfront there.) In pushing for his newfound belief in equality, he ends up burning through all of his intracaste goodwill and political capital, causing all of his friends to drop him. When he kills Sadeas, it doesn’t have to be about protecting Dalinar or about personal revenge, it could also be that he’s gotten to know Bridge 4 and learned firsthand about the atrocities they’d gone through, and so there’s no way he’d allow such a pioneer of human rights violations to stay in power. In the following books, maybe he’s become so politically toxic due to challenging the very foundations of his own power, his own family has to send him away on missions so he can’t rock the boat too much at home. Maybe refusing the throne was more of a political statement than a personal one, because he’s come to understand that being a ruler means oppressing thousands of others. Maybe this is another form of hypocrisy he criticizes Dalinar for, how Dalinar might claim to value darkeyes but how he still retains power bought with thousands of their corpses. None of this has to modify actual events very much, it just affects the reasons for them. And it would also meaningfully show why he gets to be a “good lighteyes” if he actually engaged with his status and rejected it, knowing it comes at the expense of others.
Okay, enough about that. Renarin maybe?
I won’t say too much about Renarin here, because I’d probably just end up repeating a lot of the same criticisms of how he’s used as a “good lighteyes.” From a narrative standpoint, all those criticisms hold for him as well. You know, he wants to join Bridge Four, and future-villain Moash doesn’t like the idea because he doesn’t trust lighteyes, but Kaladin reassures him that Renarin is a good boy, so don’t worry about it, and everything works out fine in the end, proving that lighteyes are good people just like you and me. This isn’t a problem with him as a person or character, it’s just more of that general theme of “the caste system is fine so long as nice people are at the top” which I clearly think should be interrogated. Thus far, in contrast to the rest of his family, Renarin is very young and has had much less of a political presence, not to mention fewer POV chapters anyway, so I think delving too much deeper here will feel a bit hollow to me.
Does Shallan count as a Kholin? I’d like to talk about her super briefly.
Unpopular opinion, but I actually think Shallan is one of the better characters on the topic of race insofar as how she’s written, especially compared to the other Kholins. But wait, I hear you say, what about all of her dozens of instances of casual racism? Yes, that’s what I’m referring to. I like how Shallan demonstrates how ingrained these harmful ideologies are in their society. I like how every time she has a distasteful thought, we the audience are reminded that racism still exists and even good people will continue to promote it if they don’t view it critically. I like that Shallan is problematic, because their society has problems! At least with her it doesn’t feel like the story’s trying to sweep the fact under the rug. There are plenty of issues with her writing, plenty of jabs at Kaladin that probably shouldn’t have been treated as cute. She’s actually the main character whose racism and classism I see criticized the most. And I think that’s a good thing! My issue with the Kholins isn’t that I think they should all be less racist, my issue is that their positions are inherently oppressive, and it seems as though the narrative doesn’t think that matters so long as deep down they’re good people. When people critique Shallan in specific instances, I tend to see a fair amount of consensus and agreement there, but when I critique the Kholins people will argue with me by pointing out that Dalinar/Adolin/Navani/whoever actually treats darkeyes as equals, so my arguments are invalid. Purely my own anecdotal experience of course, but it tends to make me think that there’s something in Shallan’s writing that’s working right, something that isn’t working for the other lighteyed characters.
Now obviously with all of this, I’m not saying I want these books to have more racism in them. What I’m arguing is that if the books are going to explore the topic (which they do) then they should treat the topic with an appropriate amount of gravity rather than acting as if it can be solved by having aristocrats become nicer people.
If you’re still here with me, thank you for reading, I love you, I hope you enjoyed yourself through my descent further and further into rambly nonsense. If you just scrolled to the bottom, that’s fair enough, there won't be a tl;dr but you’re welcome for filling your dash with massive text blocks.
#i'm going to be super nice and not put this post in any of the respective character tags#you're so welcome#i don't even know what to tag this as no one actually blocks ''long post''#i could tag it as discourse but my discourse tag is usually reserved for moash posting#also i genuinely am happy to read discussion about any of these points#i can't guarantee i'll reply to all of it but i welcome good faith disagreements (or agreements i suppose.)#except for my points about gavilar#try to argue with me there and i will make fun of you sorry#i should fully reactivate this blog but JUST for gavilar posting#preemptive faq response - q: why is this so long please put this under a cut. a: it's literally your fault for following me.
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i am actually really, really glad to see Ed setting himself some boundaries and then sticking to them. he said he wanted to go slow, to take it easy, and when Stede ended up not respecting that, he took the initiative to set some distance between them.
i don't think running away to become a fisherman is the answer, but i do think its important that Ed is removing himself from that situation at the moment. if Stede didn't respect his boundaries once, who's to say he wont do it again? Ed's got enough on his plate, and as they've said before, they're both impulsive! in the moment Ed's gonna keep agreeing with Stede, and then realising later that it wasn't the best thing for him to do. removing himself from that situation, taking away the temptation is a good thing!
#i got a lotta issues with parts of eds arc#but i liked this#i am in no way implying ed didnt consent to sex but that stede shouldnt have pushed#and that it does get a little into consent issues territory. we often see ed trying to please people; that he doesnt like to say no#and having set that boundary; having made himself clear; he shouldnt have to keep restating it!#its stedes responsibility to not suggest sex; not eds to keep saying he wants to take it slow#maybe when eds had done time; gained some distance and some perspective they can try again but i am actually glad for the split right now#ed was obviously thinking about how not ok with it he was all day and sometimes you have to do things you dont want to for your own good#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ed teach#edward teach#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#ready to get dragged over the coals for this take tbh. im sorry i have negative opinions about your innocent precious babies#its not 'gay speed slow' its crossing his boundaries#(also cant wait (sarcasm) to see all the posts about how izzy did this to them and its all his fault for suggesting ed does what hes#been thinking about all day or whatever#idk
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dont you just love when creators on tumblr are like "actually, you, dear viewer, have a MORAL OBLIGATION to reblog my stuff if you like it!" like girl can i have a break
#can i enjoy anything without being moralized at#and being guilt tripped into acknowledging some sort of ethical responsibility#it really is not that deep#why are you manipulating me#why is it not “i wish people would reblog artists more” but “not reblogging artists is a moral failing”#ill tell you why its because if something makes you feel bad it's obviously other people's fault#same goes for like fanfic where i guess theres comment vs kudos discourse#miss me with that shit#i yap therefore i am#if you wanna support artists commission them and buy their stuff or donate#like god can you imagine anything that will take the fun out of fandom faster#oh shit lemme reblog this real quick i owe it to op#????#is that what you want your audience to be fucking thinking about#talk about entitled
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