#I told myself I was done being a hater and I am I swear I am

[baejax-the-great]

The "pulling a Bharv" scene honestly demonstrates so much that is wrong with the character-writing in this game, but I want to focus on the very end of it.

Narratively, after teaching the audience something like "pulling a Bharv" AKA doing pushups to show you mean your apology, you want to have one of the audience stand-ins then participate in the ritual. It makes the scene more satisfying and feel less like a random lecture. (Though...)

However, "pulling a Bharv" requires a character apologizing for committing a wrong, and one thing Veilguard cannot tolerate is any of the companion characters doing anything hurtful, ignorant, prejudiced, or otherwise incorrect.

So what do they do? They have Bellara apologize for eating food that was meant to be shared at a gathering of friends.

Unless you are from Minnesota*, which I'm fairly certain Bellara is not if only based on her accent and not the fact that Thedas doesn't have a Minnesota, eating food at a party is not something you are ever expected to apologize for. She didn't eat all of Taash's favorite food. She didn't sneak the food before the party or cut a piece of birthday cake before the candles have even been lit. She didn't go into someone else's pantry and take some random item of food that wasn't meant for the party.

The food had been served. Presumably it had been out there for a while, because we join the scene as things seem to be winding down. The food is available, it is for Bellara to eat, and she eats some. It is a completely non-objectionable action, the only kinds of actions Veilguard companions are allowed to take.

She still has to apologize for the scene to work, however, so she does. Bizarrely, this has the outcome of making Taash come off as a bully, because what kind of immature jackass gets upset that someone ate the provided food at a party? How domineering is Taash that Bellara immediately resorts to apologizing and placating them in order to avoid their anger?

It also makes the scene nonsensical and makes the gathering seem like a complete drag. Feel free not to invite Rook to these ever again, thanks.

*If you are from Minnesota, eating the last piece of food off a shared plate is punishable by being immediately ejected from Minnesota, but most people do not consider this much of a hardship.

[cottoncandy-jester]

✨lie down darling Its time for a dream✨

Faking it (dad squad)

So basically this is what happens if the dad squad found out reader faked an orgasm before

This is of course 18+ and the reader is female

Daichi suwamura

Okay so daichi honestly was never worried about y'all sex life

Like you moan his name everytime why is he worried

It's when you and the rest of the karasuno group get drunk and play truth of dare

When it's your turn.. you're drunk off six shots of tequila and tanaka asks you to reveal your deepest secret

"okay okay! Sooo during me and daichi's fourth anniversary, we fucked and I may have totally faked it"

Wait what.

WHAT?!

Everyone else is laughing but daichi is over here having a mental breakdown

You did what?!

How many more have you faked?! Were they all fake?! Did he ever really make you cum?

It did not take long for daichi to drag you away to the nearest bathroom

You gasp when daichi pinned you against the wall his mouth attacking your neck while his hands roamed your body now gripping your hips as he ripped your panties off.

"faked an orgasm?! Damn it how many did you fake? Doesn't matter don't tell me. I'm going to fuck you against this wall and you are going to cum over and over til I know for sure you like having sex with me"

He fucked you until you couldn't think anymore, he also made sure EVERYONE heard it.

Tooru oikawa

You were having girl talk with the other managers and the topic of sex came up

They all assume he's some sex god which makes you laugh

Oikawa is honestly such a dork during sex that you couldn't help but spills beans

"honestly he was so nervous during our first time, It was so cute..though he didn't really make me.. y'know"

Oh BOY

News travelled fast and before you know it at 4am you had a pissed oikawa at your door

The loud harsh banging interrupted your sleep and you went to the door only to see oikawa standing there, your sleepy eyes trailed his body up and down and you noticed he was gripping his phone so tight his knuckles turned white, you didn't even get to speak when the male stormed inside and let's out a frustrated sigh.

"why are rumors about me being bad in bed spreading around?!"

"I dunno...maybe you have a hater, babe it's like 4am..why are you here?"

Oikawa snapped his head towards you before walking towards you anger fuming towards you before he gripped your arm tightly.

"everyone is saying you started the rumor, so tell me little cutie what the fuck have you been saying?"

Your eyes got wide as the conversation with the girls resurfaced in your head and you softly reached out to put your hands on his cheeks which made him relax but he was still clearly annoyed.

"sorry, tooru it was just one little story. Girl talk y'know and it's fine lots of people can't make their partner cum their first time you just ha-"

You were cut off by the male roughly pulling you towards your room, everytime you tried to speak oikawa would glare at you before demanding that you shut up. Once in your room he pushed you on the bed his ego clearing having dropped now that you admitted the truth.

"I am good at sex! I am Great! I just have to prove to you that you are with the best man ever"

As he spoke he started to strip before his cold glare landed on you before he crawled ontop and wrapped a hand around your throat.

"you are going to be begging me to stop making you cum once I'm done with you"

He made you tell everyone that you cummed extra hard that night, even if it was super embarrassing to say.

Tetsuro kuroo

You two were arguing

It started with him being jealous of a person at work flirting with you and it just blew up

Screams and swears shooting back at the other

Low blows were dealt

You both don't even remember what the fight was about

Then..you said it

"God you are so cocky! It's shit like that, that make me fake orgasms during sex"

He shut up after that one for sure

All he can think about was how many did you fake and how he failed as your lover

Why didn't you tell him you weren't feeling good during sex?

Kuroo remained quiet as he let his brain think, after saying it you quickly walked over and hugged him hoping he wasn't angry at you

"baby! I'm sorry I didn't mean it, I was just upset and you were just upset you forgive me yeah?"

"how many times?"

"that doe-"

"how many damn times?!"

You flinched when he forced you to look at him showing pain in his eyes and you couldn't help but be honest with him.

"only a few, during those times where I was just really sleepy that's it"

Kuroo let's out a shaky sigh before he peppered soft kisses along your neck. He was pretty hurt at the moment but he did want to make it up to you, plus make up sex was always good

"come, let's talk this out yeah?"

His tone was soft as he guided you to the bedroom thought talking wasn't the plan he had, he wanted to make you see stars and make sure he could actually make you cum.

Koutaro bokuto

Okay so maybe it wasn't a good idea to pump up bokuto's ego every time you guys have sex

All your praise makes him think he's the best in the world

But when it came time for a girls night at you and bokuto's place stuff starts to spill

You told bokuto to spend the night at akaashi or something but you didnt think he would come home

"sooo [y/n]! How is bokuto in bed?! We gotta know"

The question made you embarrassed while bokuto stood outside you guys' bedroom listening in

Yes dear wife tell them how my sex is the best in the world

"koutaro, tries his best. Sometimes he gets a little too excited and cums early so he gets too tired to finish and we end up cuddling before I can climax so I just fake it"

WHAT?!

Bokuto automatically swings the door open scaring both you and the girls

He is legit tearing up and about to sob

After, very quickly telling the girls to leave he cries into your stomach while you pet his head

"why didn't you tell me?! I would have made it all better"

"oh..kou..it's no big deal"

Your soothing which would usually work just wasn't working right now, bokuto sniffled as he looked up at you with tearful eyes, you were his baby owl and he couldnt even make you feel good?!

He couldn't believe that! No he won't accept that! Before you can respond bokuto pushed you down on the bed before starting to pull your pants and underwear off your body

"kou! W-what the hell?!"

"just let me do this please! I need to know that I can do this, I just want you to be happy with me..so..let me worship you"

You were shocked but shuddered at the feeling of soft kisses against your inner thigh, with one final sniffle bokuto was now focused on something else.

He proceeded to eat you out that night until you cummed so much that you was sobbing but by the end of it he was so happy to know that he can make you cum and of course he was more mindful about your needs.

Wakatoshi ushijima

Oh jeez

Okay so he makes it very clear that bedroom talk is off limits

What you two do in bed is your business hell you guys don't really talk about sex and spend more time just doing it

You are very tight lipped about your sex life but tendou Is a very stubborn guy

He is constantly asking you what's it like..mostly cause he wants to tease wakatoshi

After finally bothering you to the point where you wanna hit him you confess

"toshi is great okay?! I mean sure he has his moments of not really getting me there but it's good so stop asking!"

OHOHOHO HE HAS TO KNOW MORE

after explaining that wakatoshi tends to be boringly vanilla you expect him to let it go

No bitch this is tendou 'i give no fucks' satori

Proceeds to tease wakatoshi about it every chance he gets

"wow who knew you could be boring in all departments"

"sooooo, you really like it vanilla huh?"

Of course oblivious wakatoshi doesn't pay him any mind until a drunk tendou spills the beans

"guess who told me that you're boring in bedddd~ pfft she said you are so slow that it is like fucking a box"

You of course didn't say that but you were shocked to see wakatoshi at your door the next day

"did you tell tendou about our sex life?"

Well fuck.

you honestly should have expected this. You let out a shaky sigh as you merely avoided eye contact you felt pretty embarrassed and ashamed

"yeah, sorry toshi he kept bugging me about it"

"you telling him is not why I'm upset"

You were honestly shocked and looked up only to see wakatoshi's face close to yours, his eyes were intense and honestly gave you chills.

"did you say I was boring during sex? Is this true?"

"um..yeah but it's okay I mean it's still good it's just very..typical I mean we do the same stuff all the time and you just tend to be, slow"

Wakatoshi was a little shocked by your words but he calmly sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to think of what exactly he needed to do.

"then my future wife, allow me to spend the night making you feel good instead of myself, you can tell me exactly what I need to do in order to bring you to climax again and again."

And you did exactly that, he was quite obedient and even did things he never done before just so he can make you feel good.

[calypsoff]

Ninety Five.

My smile grew, just being back in Barbados really just makes me happy. My home, my country. I feel so much at peace too when I’m home, I am just glad to be back and to be with my family so I can heal from the bullshit. I am not happy with how things have been, how I have been, and I’ve not been good. Just catching up with calls, texts and emails let’s just say Tina and Jen have done their best. Nobody knew mentally I was going through some shit, besides Chris, that is because I rather be with him than anyone else. I knew in my heart that Chris would have protected me at all costs; so yes I made sure that if I am having this breakdown that it was with the man I love. I would be lying to myself if I wasn’t nervous when I said what I said to chris, I wasn’t sure if chris was going to decide to stick by me or go his own way, I would have let him go but I would be extra hurt by all of it. I am just so glad to be in Barbados, our first night here and my mother should be arriving today, I am so nervous for her arrival because she is going to be doing the most, I know my mother. She’s going to be telling me how bad I am, but she isn’t wrong either, I was being selfish, or I wasn’t thinking but I was going through a breakdown, she needs to understand that part of it but we are here, I am here with my family. Rajad is here, so is Mel, but the rest of the family will be coming today, soon actually. I think the best thing I can do is clean the house for my mother, I am awake early anyways. I am awake reflecting on life, reflecting on things I have done wrong. I just need to see my dad, get that already dealt with but it’s been the most painful experience for me, to mourn a father I’ve always wanted. I wanted that, I wanted a dad that loves me, but I am over it, I will be better than ever. Walking back into the bedroom, I have been on the balcony taking in Barbados, my home but I need to start cleaning. I’m home now so I need too, looking over at Chris asleep in bed, I swear that husband of mine knows when I have left the bed he’s on his stomach laid out in bed, all comfy too. He looks happier anyways, looking over into the crib and my daughter is asleep still, both of my babies are at peace anyways.

I feel much happier, content I would say since I have mourned what I didn’t really have, it’s a hard pill to swallow and nobody will really understand what I went through because it’s my issue, it’s my pain. I hate that people think that I should accept and get over it, that doesn’t make sense to me at all. Why should I accept, why should I just not mourn something I have wanted all my life, it’s my right and I hate that my mother is going to say I taught you better than that, she’s gonna say it and I know it but I am cleaning the home, I hope the cleaning makes up for it, I appreciate my mother so much so what she has to say I will need to accept and let her say it, she will say things to upset me but she does it because she cares, I know she does care about me and I appreciate that so much. I just need to close that chapter in my life, I want to move forward with my husband and child, I want to know that I did try with him. My dad did this to me, but we will see what happens “kind of turns me on when you’re cleaning” looking up from the floor, Chris is awake holding Rylee “so you like me on my hands and knees?” He’s an ass “a little, why are you scrubbing? Since when does a millionaire do this?” Chris crouched down to me “since I have a mother that is backwards and would still beat my ass” I laughed “that is kind of funny to hear but you need help?” Shaking my head “I don’t, I mean I could have got cleaners to come but I want my mother to feel sorry for me” I laughed hoping it worked “you’re so sly, what is she like Rylee. We are hungry by the way” side eying Chris “you know where the kitchen is, I’ll feed you. Just wait” men are annoying, staring at my face for food. He’s literally stood in the kitchen he could make the food himself, but I know that his excuse will be he’s taking care of Rylee, of course so I will leave it.

I made Chris his breakfast, like the good housewife I am. I mean it’s just pancakes but it’s something for him, he is really eating all of it up. I must have made them nice, looking down at Rylee on my lap, she keeps slapping the dining table to get Chris’ attention and it is working, Chris is giving her all the attention she wants “you want daddy attention?” Chris looked at Rylee, she got all happy smiling at him the goofy girl she is “are you nervous for your mom coming? I see you a lot lighter, like you are happy. I know Barbados is your happy place” nodding my head smiling “this is my home; I just love it. I get away from all the drama which is California and New York, it’s away from work. I am also feeling ashamed of how I was, me as a person I wasn’t good. I was being selfish of me, yes I was going through something, but I was neglecting her, you. It was wrong of me” Chris shook his head “Robyn, if you aren’t feeling yourself. If you aren’t happy and you are depressed you ain’t going to be the person you want to be, I mean yes you could have dealt with this in a better manner, you could have said I want to go away for a while, but you didn’t. It happened, but I don’t want you to be ashamed of yourself or anything ok?” Chris is too good “thank you poppa” I said in a whisper “I think it’s something we both needed, we needed to learn. I got you, I see a brighter future for us, I feel we are going to be stronger then ever. We are all human so yeah, let’s just move on. Let’s do this together, we are just going to grow as a family anyways so yeah, be strong with maniac Monica” I gasped “Chris” he isn’t shit, but my mother can be like that.

I thought I would continue my cleaning; Chris is spending time with Rylee so here I am doing this kitchen still. I am honestly trying to get on my mothers’ best side, it’s not even the point that I am scared of her, I just respect her. She has been the best mother she can be to us all; she has tried to protect me from Ronald, but I never listened, that is just me. Stupid me I guess “I love Barbados Chris, of course I was going to come. I love it here” my ears perked up; they are here. I am nervous “yeah, well the maid is here. Don’t mind her mother, she is not in a good mood so please don’t look her way” Chris is an ass “oh the maid, she was lovely the last lady we met” I swear Chris can be so annoying “I know, she is cute though. Like honestly, she is so sexy, don’t tell Robyn that” they are taking their time to come in “son, what did I say. Don’t say these things” Joyce gasped “Chris, you are so stupid. Clinton he is being stupid” rolling my eyes “that husband of mine” walking around the counter “awww you’re cleaning, it’s so good to see you” Joyce came to me and gave me the biggest hug, I love her hugs “same, I am glad you both could come” moving back from the hug “you didn’t need to clean for us, come here” Clinton hugged me, I always get all giddy inside when Clinton shows me his caring side, a father figure to me “how are you feeling?” he asked, nodding my head “I am getting by, I am happy you are all here” I mean that too.

I am wondering where my mother is, everyone has come to the kitchen now to see me. I am here looking a mess for sympathy “why do you look a mess?” Mel asked staring me up and down “oh don’t pay her any mind, I mean we know what she can be like” Chris will not drop that, I think for me that is a good idea and it worked, he is a hater “what is the joke?” Joyce asked, I chuckled looking at Chris “nothing” I giggled and then busted out laughing “you!” feeling Chris’ arm snake around me “you are a pain in the butt” I am not going to lie but I find it funny “awww well I am glad you are laughing, whatever is funny to you both” Joyce is confused clearly, lifting my head up “home sweet home, I am glad to be back” oh my mother is here “Robyn was cleaning” Mel side eyed me and walked off “I love your home so much” Joyce complimented “you ok the both of you” my mom looked at me and then Chris, she is checking her kitchen out. This is her baby right here “Robbie can we talk” those dreaded words “oh goodie” I said under my breath “oh but you’re not dressed, you haven’t even washed your wash because you have been cleaning” looking behind me at Chris trying to make out I have been that hard at work “the dining table isn’t clean” my mother pointed out, looking back at Chris again, I told him to bring the plates “you!” I pointed at him, he laughed pointing back at me, looking ahead at my mom feeling like a naughty school child right now.

I am going to be not weak; I need to just take it and accept what she will say or not say. She may just be sad for me or be very angry and say how useless I am, but we shall see “I have missed Barbados” closing the door behind me “I have been wanting you to come home too, I am glad to have my daughter home” smiling lightly “yeah” I dragged out, this is so awkward because I just want it over with “I am not going to be angry at you, I am just not happy with how you left Rylee. I have been through the worst of the worst Robbie, but I never left any of you kids, I never turned my back on my kids because that is a Mother Robyn. Rylee needed you, she needed you so much no matter what the circumstances, your father should never ever stop you being a mother because he didn’t stop me Robyn, I taught you to be a better person, a stronger person. I have said and said again that man will bring you down, so what happened Robyn. What was your mindset then? Ronald is no good unless he is gaining and you know that” sitting down on the couch “I do but it wasn’t just that mom, I had so much more going on. You know I did; he just broke me, and I needed space that was it” I said defending myself “that’s it huh? You were acting crazy, and I did not raise that. Ronald doesn’t deserve this from you” now I am getting sad, putting my head down “he has always hurt me, I just wanted a dad” placing my hand over my mouth, trying to supress my cry “I know that I know what you want but he is no good to you. I am not going to shout at you, but I want you to be stronger than that, you don’t need to act that way, you’re a married woman and a mother. I just want you to be the woman you are, I am so glad you have a husband that is supportive of you. He was straight there on social media supporting you, I don’t want you to be drinking either, none of that” nodding my head, I know that this could have been worse “I am going to confront dad, I need to close the book” my mother looked at me in sadness as I looked at her “I am sorry baby” that was it, I am crying now “I just wanted better mom” she came over to hug me.

My mother pressed a kiss to my cheek “now you don’t worry about that man, let’s spend some time as a family” nodding my head “I will, thanks for not going full throttle on me” I know she could have been worse, my mother chuckled “get yourself out of those clothes, you not no cleaner now” I think it worked, she did feel sorry for me. Walking to the living room, I can hear everyone talking here “hey” looking at Chris, he is checking me out “I am alive” I laughed it off, my daughter is the most excited thing. Since she has been not well I feel like my daughter has lost her weight, I hate that for her, but she is still my little chunky “you good?” Chris asked, taking Rylee from Chris “yeah I am good, you happy to be home” pressing a kiss to her cheek “I was thinking we should try for a boy, what you think?” I huffed out side eyeing Chris “boy please, talking about a boy” walking off with Rylee “I am being deadass” sitting next to Mel “I think someone is asking for sex more then anything” I know what he is asking, I am not that stupid “I don’t think so, tell him Rylee. Say no more siblings, leave mommy alone” turning her to me “oh my gosh, you look so damn cute” standing her up facing me “you think she has lost weight; she has hasn’t she? It’s when she was unwell” she was my little fatty “she really has, but I won’t front. You both do make beautiful babies, so you need to reproduce again” rolling my eyes, I don’t need Mel agreeing to him.

Now we are in Barbados Chris is pestering me about sex “you want me to put you to sleep?” glaring at him, Chris just stared at me, and I tried to supress my smile “anything, I don’t mind” he wants to impregnant me, I don’t think so “rape me, I don’t mind” I gasped “what is wrong with you” Chris moved back from me looking behind me “dad” he said, oh no wonder he is quiet “I am glad you’re here, he is quiet” shuts him up about it anyways “yeah, I was thinking if you want to take me around Barbados” staring at Chris, I know his ass won’t want to do anything but be under me “you’re so rude, my dad is speaking to you” Chris said, pointing at myself in shock looking behind me “oh me?” I said in shock “yeah, not my stupid son. I was thinking if you want to show me Barbados and I can pay for a meal for us? Be nice to spend time with you, like old times. Minus Chris of course” I am shook “really?” I am shocked “yes, whenever you want. Just me and you” my face softened, I am shocked that Clinton wants to take me out “awww how boring” shushing Chris, he is so rude “aww yes, oh my god. I will get my clothes on, get Rylee changed” getting up from the chair “oh no, just us two” I thought he would want Rylee “oh ok, that’s fine” I am excited about this.

[sweetkyu]

blue | sunwoo

genre: angst, fluff.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol.

word count: 3.7k

n/a: i was inspired by some of jaden's songs to write this fic, this is the first time i post something so be kind hehe

i lost the count of how long i was standing in the middle of my living room, watching the rain fall down through the balcony door, holding onto my cup of chamomile tea with both hands. my mind had already given all the laps around the world as i just stood there. eyes locked to the world outside. empty head, no thoughts. nothing but kim sunwoo breaking into tears when i decided to end our relationship, three months ago. every day has been painful and sorrowful like this, since then. of course sometimes i can manage to just take a deep breath and try to live a day without thinking too much about it. today is the worst day until now because it's the day we would complete five years of dating, that is if we were together. to celebrate it, we had plans of traveling to norway to see the northern lights, a dream we dreamed together since we were kids.

i met kim sunwoo way before he became the boyz' main rapper sunwoo. i could never think that i would be this crazy in love with him when we met, but we don't know nothing about fate, i guess. and me and sunwoo, we were destined to be together, made for each other just like adam and eve. we have so much in common, we share the same dreams, we want to achieve the same things. our moms were university best friends, we didn't have much contact as kids, until the day our mothers decided to put us on the same school to study together... but why would they do that? nobody ever thought we were going to fall in love with each other, but when it happened, to our families it was just perfect. however, ten years after the first day in school together and here we are, here i am completely devastated and drowned in regret, chasing for sunwoo in every place. i thought i would be strong after all these years of relationship, after all the silly fights and misunderstandings i thought i would be able to ignore everything and stay by him, for him. and still i didn't.

his fans knew everything about us, since we started dating before he debuted. i was always there, at all concerts, fanmeetings, music shows. whenever i had the time, i was there in the backstage. deobis were mostly okay with us being together, some of them had social media accounts dedicated for us, i would see everything... and by everything, i mean literally. especially the fans who would hate me and send me messages saying that they wanted me dead, that sunwoo would be better off without me and so much more. that was when i became weak and started to believe in them. that was when my life became a mess in all areas, i was going through a major crisis in my job, my father was sick, some close friends stopped talking to me for no reason at all and sunwoo was on a one-month tour in japan. i was feeling lost, lonely, and i had to do something.

it was raining just like today on that night. i was preparing another cup of tea for me, my third round that day, when he got into the apartment. sunwoo was happy that he was finally home, he would tell stories about the tour and i would just pretend i was listening to them. he could notice something was off and asked me about it. in a whisper i replied him, "i wanna break up". it got silent for long and hard seconds, until i collected courage enough to look at him. the most painful thing i've ever seen, little did i know that scene would be tattoed in my mind for months. beautiful round eyes that i adore so much locking the tears so they wouldn't fall down, he nibbled at his bottom lip before asking "are you serious?" and i took a deep breath before nodding my head as a yes. sunwoo, then, began with the questions, demanding to know where all of that came from considering that we were so happy together. i was rude in my answers, saying that i was tired of the relationship and that i needed some time for myself. moments later and sunwoo went out, slamming the door behind him after i claimed that was the end. 

i've been living under this nightmare ever since, hating myself more every second because i was the one who put myself under this situation, who put sunwoo under this situation. for the past six months i had to just watch sunwoo through his work and social media, and sometimes i would know two or three things about him through chanhee, his fellow groupmate and best friend. chanhee was the only one who knew the truth about the break up and i made him swear he wouldn't tell no one, especially sunwoo, and so he did. in exchange, three months after, chanhee let me know about a mixtape sunwoo would release, mixtape which came out earlier today at midnight. i was kinda excited about this, it is his first solo work and i know how much he wanted to create something with his own touch, his own feeling. the mixtape is called 'blue' and it has only four songs, each named with every letter of the word blue. the songs tell a story on their own, so they make better sense if listened in order and all at once. in the lyrics, he talks about everything he had won as an artist and all that he lost because of that, all in a confused mix of feelings, sometimes full of anger and other times he would sound calm, and it's pretty clear that he is talking about me when he mentions a girl. since his group is now one of the most popular boy groups in korea, it didn't take long for his so waited mixtape to reach #1 in all digital platforms. i was so happy for him and so proud of his work, i even typed a text to send him but i just couldn't press the send button. instead, i expressed my happiness to chanhee, who was extremely comprehensive like always. 

as expected, i spent the entire day of today listening to this goddamn mixtape. every time i would hear his painful words it was like someone was putting a knife into my heart and, oh god, why did i brought so much suffering into this boy's life? this question kept on hammering my head the entire day until i decided i wouldn't listen to it anymore. i finished my shift at work without listening to any music, the background sound would be enough to make me company. i got into the subway with my coworkers just like any other day, they would say something about going out since it was friday and i would pretend i had some other important thing to do. and now, looking at all this rain that is falling outside, i think it was the best i could have done. i look at the clock ticking on the wall and although it's not even 10pm i decide to call it a day. i turn off the tv, let the empty mug by the kitchen sink and drag myself to the bedroom, laying down on my bed, getting comfortable around my pillows and under my fluffy blanket, letting the sleep take full control of my body.

it's still dark outside when i finally managed to free myself from the dream i was having. a dream where everything was fine and i could be found inside sunwoo's loving arms again, feeling his heart beat against mine, smelling his scent, hearing his sweet nothings being whispered at me. but then, so sudden, i looked deep into his eyes and recalled that it was only a dream. i would cry so hard while he would just look at me with a smile on his face. it's been a while since i had dreams like this one. i woke up with tears falling from my eyes, body shaking from head to toes. it took me a while to calm down, when i finally did i decide to have a glass of cold water. after going to the kitchen to drink it, i find my forgotten cellphone onto the dinner table. once i unlock it, i find some unread messages from chanhee.

[00:14] choi chanhee: y/n, i'm sorry but i think it's better for me to tell you

[00:14] choi chanhee: we were at a bar, sunwoo was drunk and started talking about you, saying he had to see you and he left

[00:15] choi chanhee: anyways he is going to your place, we couldn't stop him i'm sorry

[00:15] choi chanhee: call any of us if he acts weird okay? he seems to be out of himself this days... 

i let out a heavy sigh after seeing the messages were sent forty minutes ago, he will be here any time soon. to see sunwoo right now is what i want the most, surely, without any doubts. i miss him with everything that i have. but at the same time i don't feel ready enough for this, i'm not in my best moment, i don't know how i will react when i look at him; once it will be our first encounter after everything that happened between us. without noticing, i start pacing back and forth in my living room, feeling confused and nervous, anxiety growing inside me one more time that night and i feel my legs losing their strength, i sit by the couch as i try to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down again. this can't be happening, this can't be happening, this-- my thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell, followed by knocks on the door. i don't know how but i manage to get up and walk to the door with my jelly-like legs. i don't need to check before opening it. just like i had dreamed moments ago, sunwoo is right in front of me. dark circles around his beautiful eyes, the tip of the nose a bit red and he smells like he has been drinking and smoking for the past few hours. he is wearing black hoodies, black pants and black converse. all black, just the way he likes. i'm still giving no reactions, blinking at the sight of him, hoping for this to be another dream.

"hi" it’s all i can say.

"c-chanhee told me, y/n" he hiccups, taking a deep breath after "he told me everything" i look at him, trying to come up with a sentence but i just can't talk "a-about the haters and how that made you break up with me"

"sunwoo, i--" i stop in the middle of the sentence, couldn't finish because he literally jumped into my arms. a couple minutes later, i close the door behind us before readjusting his arms around me. with the head against his chest i can feel his heart bumping fast and his chin hovering above my head, and somehow it is recomforting. we stay like this for a couple moments, i stop feeling nervous and anxious as i feel his arms around me, calming me down, until his sobbing come into my ears "are you okay?" he nods, kissing the top of my head.

"i just..." i lift my head to look at him, red teary eyes looking deep into my eyes "why didn't you tell me, y/n? huh?" he holds my face with both hands "you can't do this, my love. how can you believe in what other people say when you know i'll love you forever?" he puts his forehead against mine and mumbles "please come back to me, i miss you so much" 

"sunwoo..." i take a deep breath and whisper "i don't know..."

"please, my love, please... i do anything!" his breath smells like alcohol "if you want me to leave the group, i'll do that right now!"

"stop saying nonsense, you know you can't do that!" i shake off his hands away slightly and he seems pretty offended, getting some steps away and looking back at me with angry but still sad eyes, tears now running down his cheeks without permission. a muscle in his jaw twitches making him look scary, yet i'm not afraid.

"it isn't nonsense! it's the truth!" he shouts "how could you believe those words when i am madly in love with you?--" sunwoo paces around the living room, hands messing his hair as if he was having an attack.

"sunwoo, you're screaming--"

"i can't eat, i can't sleep! all i can think about is you!" he takes a deep breath “i have my own pride! you can’t do this to me--”

"it's late, please lower your voice--"

“you can’t just leave me sick like this!” i scratch my forehead at his screamed words “you can’t throw away what we had, not this way!”

“sunwoo, please--”

"why did you have to do this?” he goes on “we've been together for so long, how could you let us just fall all apart?"

"sunwoo..."

"i can't breathe when you're not with me, y/n! fuck!" he slaps the flower pot that once was on top of the table, making it fall into the ground and break into pieces.

"oh my god, kim sunwoo! stop acting like crazy! look what you did!" he stares at me, gasping. i feel my cheeks getting red at the sudden wave of mixed feelings.

"i'm s-sorry" sunwoo looks to the ground and sighs before dropping on his knees, hysterically sobbing "it hurts so much, y/n. you're my everything! i can't stay away from you anymore" he lets out while crying "now why... why would you?" i don't know what to do, but i still keep watching him while holding back some tears.

it doesn't take too much until i can't take this agonizing scene anymore. i know he is tired and confused and i'm definitely not on the mood to fight, that's why i kneel down in front of him and let my hands cup his cheeks. i lift his head, taking a good look at his face as i start to wipe his teardrops away, still fighting back my tears, feeling my heart break into tiny little pieces "why don't you take a shower so you can calm down and then if you're not too tired we talk this through, huh? what do you say?" he opens a sad smile and nods, softly leaning his head against my hand as he searches for more of my touches.

with a certain difficulty, i manage to get him back on his feet but somehow he lost his balance, hardly being able to stand on his feet, so i help him walk to the bathroom while he keeps on muttering that he is sorry for everything and that he wants me back, making this even harder. once we are in the bathroom, i help him with his clothes before pushing him under the shower, i open the faucet, letting the water fall on his head.

"ah! it's cold!" he complains in a hiss, hugging his now naked body.

"i know, but you need it" i close the bathroom shower door, hearing as he mumbles something about not having extra clothes, making me sigh at the fact that he had forgotten that he owns at least three drawers in my dresser.

i walk back to the living room and clean up the mess sunwoo made. when finished, i decide to have a couple more glasses of water to calm down. i still can't believe this is happening. i draw in a long breath as i walk to the bedroom, i open one of sunwoo's drawers, which is exactly the same way it was the day he left. i pick up some clothes for him and soon when i stop hearing the sound of the water falling, i get back into the bathroom to hand sunwoo his clothes. he shyly thanks me before i walk out the room to give him some privacy. few minutes go by until sunwoo shows up in the room, wearing the navy blue pajamas i picked for him, dragging his body to the bed, where i am sitting on.

"i'm sorry, my love. sorry i'm a mess up" he mumbles, stopping in front of me, just by the look on his eyes i can feel that he is completely exhausted, like he would sleep for an entire day if he could. i don't say much, sighing only before getting up to take his hand and sit him down on the bed. i take the towel away from his hands and start to dry off his hair. i feel his hand touch my waist lightly, his thumbs caressing my skin over the material of my shirt, touches ever so soft just like his voice when he whispered "don't be mad at me"

"i'm not" i quickly answer back.

"yes, you are. you're not even looking at me, y/n" he puts his hands on my hands, making any movement of mine stop and then i finally look into his now swollen eyes, all i can see is sadness and sorrow.

"i'm not mad, sunwoo. i just don't like seeing you like that," i try not to cry but it's barely impossible "it makes me sad and it's even worse to know that you're suffering because of me" he wraps his arms around my waist when i drop the towel to the bed, covering my face as i sob uncontrollably.

i find shelter in sunwoo's arms moments later, when he makes me sit on his lap. i curl myself up inside his embrace, snuggling my nose on his neck and feeling his fingers going back and forth on my skin, sometimes he would kiss my temper and whisper some words, reminding me that he was there with me, calming me down.

"i'm so, so sorry for all of this" i hear myself saying after long minutes went by, he holds my  face on his hands, looking deep into my crying eyes "i was weak and made us suffer this badly" he nods at my words "i was in a bad place back then, i thought you wouldn't understand and got us all stuck in this even worse nightmare" he runs his thumb across my cheeks, wiping away some teardrops "i should've talked to you but i was afraid..."

"there was nothing for you to be afraid of, my love... we would have talked this through and find a solution together" i bob my head in comprehension as i feel his fingers put a lock of my hair behind my ear, tears falling silently this time "just like we will find one now, you are not alone. i’m with you, y/n"

"i'm so happy that you are here, sunwoo..." i let out in a whisper and i can watch his lips curve into a smile "i tried to text you before but i just couldn't" he nods.

"i understand, y/n. and it's totally fine" we grin at each other “and i’m sorry i didn’t call all this time and--” he is interrupted by a sudden yawn that makes us laugh, he apologizes right after "sorry, my love, i'm just feeling tired" he blinks lazily as i cross my hand through his hair.

"no, babe, i'm sorry for putting you up to this at this time, we should've talked in the morning" sunwoo shakes his head in denial, mumbling that it's okay "let's call it a day, shall we?" he nods once again that night.

"perfect idea, my love" i smile at him.

my hand fall from his hair to his chin as i put the other one on his shoulder. i lean myself and only closed my eyes after i saw sunwoo closing his, i get closer and closer until our lips locked. our kiss is small at first, slow and soft as if we were afraid of hurting each other but soon it grew bigger and full of desire. it was like my kiss had woken him up, his hands are now everywhere; first holding my cheeks then running down my arms until he got them on my waist, pulling me closer as if it is even possible. my own hands flew to the back of his head without me even notice and i feel his ones running up and down my spine, then holding me close. 

"i love you, y/n" he mumbles in between our making out session, lowering his kisses down my neck and shoulder.

"i love you too, love you  so much" i let out in a whine, panting under his caresses and this makes him smile. sunwoo stops all the kissing and leans his body backwards for a moment, taking his time to look on my face. good thing is that i can take a good look at his as well. he is gasping through his big and swollen red lips, black hair still a bit humid because i didn't make a good job at drying them, beautiful and swollen eyes that had stopped crying now stare at me with passion, making me feel like i am the prettiest woman on the planet, shirt all messy on his body and i swear this is the most beautiful scene i have seen, the dim lights from the bedside lamp only helping him to look even better.

"please don't you ever leave me again, my love" sunwoo prays in a whisper, one hand going up my cheek and i put mine above it "i don't know what i'll do without you" i lean my head to give his caressing hand a kiss.

"i'm not going anywhere" a smile dances on his lips and then he pulls me closer, making us fall on the bed and laugh together at it, before sunwoo kisses me again.

three months ago when he left, i could feel an emptiness growing inside of me, as if sunwoo had taken a piece of me along with him. but now i can assure that the hollow space i was feeling before sunwoo entered my apartment earlier today, that feeling is gone. kim sunwoo had always been that one source of happiness in my life and i don't know how i had the courage to doubt that nor how i managed to live all this time without him. again, we are like adam and eve. we are not perfect, we make mistakes, we are simply soulmates, born to be together. and i know that from now on i'm going to be fine, we are going to be happy.

[shuahoonie]

you [tom holland] - seven.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! alcohol consumption! a whole lotta fluff on this one yall. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish! also, their relationship is improving yall 🤧

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

SONG INSPO: harry styles - to be so lonely 

A/N: hiya babes, again, its day n of quarantine. i feel awful that i’ve gone this long without an update. would totally understand that you had to reread this whole series to find out what the hell is going on lmao. also, quarantine life really ruined my general schedule like now, i start my days at 3 pm and it ends at 7 am. obviously, i’m not doing well. 

also, everytime i try to write it’s always like 4 am so there’s prob a lot of errors on this. i also had the initial plan to cut this chapter in two parts but figured you guys deserve this bc i’ve been gone for way too long.  [it was way past 6 am when i finished this]

hope you guys are safe. spam my inbox, tell me what you’ve been up to this quarantine! stay at home and wash those hands!!!!! sending all my love ♡

UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY 11 PM CST WHENEVER I CAN  [I MEAN WE’RE IN LOCKDOWN. PLS PESTER ME TO UPDATE SO I CAN BE PRODUCTIVE]

gif credits: @tomhollandcouk

vanessa’s masterlist | preview | one | two | three | four | five | six | eight | eight.5 [interview excerpt] 

You took a look at the girls and sure enough, they were watching the two of you and were whispering amongst themselves. You didn’t know who they were so you were assuming they were on Josh’s guests.

You weren’t one to start fights however, you were extremely petty though. It’s a habit you’re trying to get rid of. “Hey, Tom?”

He hummed in response. “Do you want to finally get them off your back?” You asked him. He stared at you for a moment before nodding.

“I’m going to do something but promise me you’ll forget it as soon as it’s done.” You disclosed, not even knowing why you’re actually going to do it.

“Okay...” You knew he was getting curious. “What-”

You grabbed the side of his face and kissed the corner of his lips. To say that both of you were surprised was an understatement.

Your lips lingered on the corner of his. As soon as you saw the girls with their backs turned against you two, you pulled away.

You could easily see Tom’s ears turn red. You weren’t sure why, but you were too distracted by the fact that you actually did that.

You also felt yourself getting hot. You were sure that your face is burning, however, you were unsure of the fact that maybe it’s burning because of the stunt you just pulled or because of the alcohol in your system.

“It’s definitely the alcohol,” you murmured.

“Sorry, you were saying something?”

Seemingly lost for words and embarrassed, you told Tom “I need another drink.”

If anyone asked you what just happened, you probably won’t have an answer as you were confused as well. That’s why you were practically running to the open bar, leaving Tom on the dance floor, with the look of bewilderment painted on his face.

“Tom!”

He turned his head around, looking for who could have possibly called his name. Upon seeing who it was, he greeted her with a huge smile on his face. “Liv, congratulations! It was a wonderful ceremony.” He said genuinely.

“Aw,” Olivia cooed in delight. “Thanks, Tom! We’re happy you could make it.” She beamed.

“Would’ve never missed it,” Tom smiled.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have you seen Y/N?” Olivia asked, looking around.

He felt himself turn red, which Olivia noticed but chose not to point it out. “She told me she was getting herself a drink...”

“That bitch never learns,” Olivia murmured to herself. “Tom, can you do me a favour? Can you please keep an eye out for her? She tends to drink a lot at weddings and-”

All of Veronica’s words came flooding back to Tom, knowing that he was supposed to stop Y/N from grabbing another glass. “Right, of course.”

“She doesn’t have a problem!” Olivia quickly disclosed. “It’s just- She tends to do a lot of weird shit while drunk.” She chuckled. “I mean look at where you two are now. None of this would’ a happened if- Oh, I’m sorry.”

“S’okay, Liv. I know.” Tom shook his head, politely dismissing Olivia. “Uh, Liv, if you don’t mind, I’m going to look for-”

“Oh, no, you’re all good.” Olivia smiled. “I have to meet with Josh in just a few minutes anyway.”

Tom congratulated Olivia again for the beautiful ceremony before he left. As Tom was looking for Y/N, he found you leaned against the bar with a drink in one hand and a phone on her other.

“Y/N.” Tom called, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Holy fuck-” You almost spat your drink. “Jesus Christ, Tom, you fucking scared me.”

Tom chuckled. “’m sorry, darling.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick you up,” Tom said as he saw the drink on your hand and grabbed it “and to stop you from drinking.”

You furrowed your brows at him, “Why?”

For a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw Tom shift his eyes over at your lips. That’s when you realized that you were pouting and quickly pressed your lips together.

“’cause you’ve had enough drinks for tonight,” Tom simply stated. “Why don’t I take you back to your hotel?” He offered.

“I’m good, Tom.” You said “People aren’t looking, you can quit acting like you care now.”

Tom chose to ignore the last part and pulled out his phone. “I’m texting Veronica that we’re leaving.”

“Seriously, Tom, just let me be.”

“Y/N, I’m just looking out for you. You’ve had a couple of drinks already and apparently, Zoë needs you to be up and well tomorrow morning.” Tom said, the frustration was getting through him.

“Tom-”

“I’m serious, Y/N. I will carry you to my car if I have to.”

All you could do was glare at him.

“You’ve been frowning for 10 minutes now, your face is going to get tired, darling.” Tom commented as he stole a quick look at you, only to find you with the look of annoyance plastered all over your face and your arms crossed.

“I can’t believe you actually carried me! It was so embarrassing, you dickhead.” You grumbled, feeling shy since quite a few people did see his stunt and found it absolutely adorable.

“I did say that I was serious,” He pointed out as he did a shoulder-check before making a turn.

“Don’t even know why you’re driving me back to the hotel. I could’ve called someone, ‘ya know?” You were coming up with ways as to how you can avoid spending time with Tom, which was undeniably impossible since he is your boyfriend after all.

“Nonsense,” Tom pulled over at the front of the hotel, stepped out of the vehicle to give his keys to the valet and opened your door. “I would rather drive you back and know that you’re safe.” He said as he offered his hand for you to take.

You were reluctant at first, however, you still took his hand. He was being nice and you had to respect that.

Actually, you did notice that Tom was being nice within the past few weeks that you’ve started to date. Him becoming genuinely nice was starting to become a problem, especially when you’re involved with a lot of fake dating stunts.

It pulled your heartstrings in all kinds of different directions and you know it’s wrong, which is why you’re trying your best to put those feelings aside.

“Thanks Tom, I think I can handle myself from here.” You said as you carefully pulled your hand from Tom’s.

He frowned, “I have to take you up to your room, darling. Don’t you know that there are endless possibilities of what can happen to you just from the walk from the lobby to your room? Especially the lifts.”

You stared at him for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m that paranoid but knowing you would never budge, then I guess you can walk me up to my room.” You said, not really going to fight him off. You already fought that battle earlier and you were left embarrassingly defeated.

The walk to the room was quiet, which was exactly what you needed. You were exhausted from today’s events, not to mention that you also had to wake up extremely early to get ready for your hair and makeup.

God, I can’t wait to take all of these off, You thought to yourself.

After what seemed like forever of looking for your keycard, you finally got to open your door. You turned to Tom who was leaning against the doorframe. He had the sleeves of his white button-ups rolled up to his elbows and he had a small smile plastered on his face, even though his eyes were nearly hooded from what seemed to be an exhausting day as well for him.

“Thanks again, Tommy,” you said softly. “Today must’ve been extremely exhausting for you.” You were starting to feel guilty as you felt like you made him jump through hoops just to take care of you when he had no obligation to do so.

“S’alright, darling.” He said before letting out a yawn. “Well, I best be off then. Good night, my darling.”

Tom had a couple of steps in before you shouted for his name, causing him to halt in the middle of the hallway. He turned to look at you, wondering why you called him.

“Do you wanna stay for a while? You must be exhausted and I don’t think I can live with myself if I let you drive whilst so.” You asked shyly. You weren’t heartless. You knew how to appreciate people’s efforts and right now, you had to swallow that pride of yours to show that you were thankful for Tom and his efforts.

Tom had to make sure that he heard you correctly. After all, you were the same girl who was reluctant to spend time with him for most of the time.

He had a loopy grin painted on his face. You weren’t sure whether it was meant to tease you or it’s because he’s getting sleepy, either way, it was enough to make you roll your eyes at him.

“Why are you smiling like that? Just-” You pinched the bridge of your nose, not knowing that it was possible to feel both annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. “Just stay with me for a bit so you can rest.” You mumbled the last part.

“Are you sure?” He asked for clarification. “Think I can drive for at least 30 minutes more-”

“Tom, just get in here with me.” You said as you took a hold of his hand and pulled him inside your hotel room. “If you think I’ll let you drive for half an hour when you’re nearly about to pass out then you’re dead wrong.” You pointed out as you closed the door.

“Are you getting soft on me now, Y/N?” He teased with a playful smirk on his face.

“No,” You denied, drawling out the ‘o’ as you kicked off your heels and pushed them to a side. “It’s called showing gratitude for being there for me.” You said, trying to sound casual as possible.

“Well,” Tom propped off his shoes and made his way to the bed “I like this side of you, darling.” He grinned.

You gave him a sarcastic smile before you turned your back and grabbed some change of clothes from your suitcase.

As you were in the bathroom to get yourself changed and try to get out of the bridesmaid dress, you’ve come across a tiny problem.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You hissed at yourself as you tried to unzip the back of your dress, failing miserably. “I have already prepped myself for the idea that I would be in the comfort of my sweatshirt.” You said to the mirror, not knowing where to pour the frustration running through you.

You opened the door slightly and found Tom who was sitting on the bed comfortably, his feet propped over the tower of pillows and his back rested on the bed frame.

“Tom?” He looked up from his phone to find where you called him from and when he saw you peering from the bathroom, he had his eyebrow raised. “Can you help me unzip my dress please?” You asked in a quiet voice.

“Sorry, what was that darling?” He asked and when you tried to repeat it again, not changing the volume of your voice. “Y/N, you have to speak up. Can’t hear you from here, darling.”

You sighed and opened the door wider, “Tom, can you unzip my dress?” You practically yelled. “-please.” you added awkwardly.

Tom blinked a couple of times before scrambling his way to the bathroom, muttering soft “yeah”s along the way.

As soon as he reached the bathroom frame, you quickly turned around so you could get this thing over with. Tom moved your hair to the side before finding the zipper of your dress. As he carefully unzipped your dress, you could feel the slightest touch of his fingertips grazing on your skin.

The trails of his touch sent you into shivers. God, am I that touch-starved? You thought. For you, the process was excruciatingly long. In reality? It probably only took like 30 seconds or less.

Shaking it all off, you quickly said your thanks and practically slammed the door on his face.

God, if you’re listening, I know I’m a handful but dying from embarrassment isn’t how I saw myself passing, You practically yelled to your thoughts.

After giving yourself a couple of minutes to change into your oversized sweatshirt and some sleeping shorts and also giving yourself to calm down, you grabbed your makeup wipes and made your way to the bed.

You tried your best to keep your cool and act as if nothing had happened. Act like you didn’t want the ground to swallow you whole.

You and Tom were sitting in silence: him scrolling on his phone and you trying to remove your makeup. The keyword was trying as you barely had any energy left to do anything and removing your makeup and fixing your hair felt like absolute chores.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, turning to Tom as you continued wiping your makeup off.

“Sure, whatcha got in mind?” He asked, putting his phone down and passing you the remote.

You hummed, waiting for the TV to finish loading the selections that they have on demand. “Ooh, they have Hereditary. I’ve been wanting to see the film for a while and I heard good things about the film.”

“Isn’t that a horror film?” He asked and you nodded. You could see that he was trying his hardest to assess whether he agrees with the film or not.

Of course, being the annoying person that you are, you teased Tom. “Aw, are you scared Tommy?” You cooed.

He rolled his eyes and denied your accusation. “’m not scared.”

“It’s settled then,” You grinned. “We’re watching Hereditary.”

As you were at least twenty minutes into the film, you took a quick look at Tom who was evidently engrossed with the film. You scooted a bit closer to him which he failed to notice, bringing a devilish smirk on your face. You slowly leaned in, just enough for your breath to hit his skin, and whispered “Tom” in an attempt to scare the poor guy.

Your tiny prank worked considering he practically jumped, almost making him fall off the bed. You, on the other hand, couldn’t stop laughing. “That was not funny, Y/N.” He said as he returned back to his spot, only this time, he had his head resting on the bed frame while his back was supported with the pillows.

“I beg to differ,” You said teasingly “Do you want to get room service? I’m kind of hungry.”

He just shrugged, saying that it doesn’t matter whether you want to or not. However, you were hungry and you’re not about to carry on watching the film with an empty stomach.

You quietly ordered room service as Tom was busy watching the film. He looked adorable, if you were being honest. He was hugging one of the pillows and used the same pillow to rest his chin on.

You were debating whether to wait for the food to arrive or fix your hair. Your hair was styled in a half-up braid, tiny flowers delicately placed within the braid, while the ends of your hair were curled. The hairstylist took a significantly huge amount of time to style everyone’s hair which is why you had to wake up at the crack of dawn. No wonder you were exhausted.

You chose to wait for the food instead and settled next to Tom. You two were clearly immersed with the film and you both flinched at the sound of the knock on the door as the scene of Charlie’s head rolls and turns into a ball pops up on the screen.

“Jesus christ,” You swore under your breath as you left the bed to go answer the door.

“Aw, are you scared, Y/N?” He mocked, which you rolled your eyes in response.

“Shut up, Holland. I’m not the only one who’s scared here.” You retorted.

You opened the door and thanked the staff that brought your room service, not forgetting to hand them a tip.

“I ordered strawberry and banana pancakes,” You told Tom with a childish smile.

“It’s midnight and you ordered pancakes?” He asked with an amused smile.

“I was craving pancakes,” You pouted. “We can share, you know? You didn’t tell me what you wanted so I just ordered food for myself.”

“S’alright, darling.” He answered “Don’t worry about it.”

“We can totally share, Tommy. I didn’t expect they’d give me this much so I won’t be able to finish this by myself.” You said as you showed him the huge stack of pancakes.

He just laughed and nodded, giving in because you weren’t going to let him just watch while you ate.

“Oooh, I also ordered tea because I remember that you like tea.”

He hummed as he approached you by the table. You were setting up the pancakes and tea that you ordered. “You remember, huh,” Tom mumbled softly as he watched you carefully set the teapot down.

“’course, I do.” You answered without hesitation. “You practically shunned me for drinking coffee that one time when you visited me on set.”

“Darling, you were on your third cup.”

“So? I needed caffeine.”

“If you needed caffeine, you could’ve easily had tea instead of your third cup.” Tom pointed out as he poured tea on his cup.

“Tea is for the weak,” You mumbled which earned a dramatic gasp from Tom.

“Take it back,” He said in disbelief.

“Tea is for the weak,” You repeated firmly just so you could annoy him even more, a smirk plastered on your face.

Tom pulled you in closer to him and started to tickle your waist, “I won’t stop till you take back what you said, Y/N”

You were squirming away from him, “Tom, stop,” you yelled in between giggles. “I might drop my pancakes, please.” You were trying your best not to tilt the plate and drop your food.

“Not hearing the magic words, Y/N” Tom teased in a sing-song voice.

“Okay, fine!” You gave in, laughing. “I take it back. Tea is great.”

“It is, innit?” He sighed in agreement, making you shake your head in amusement. “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll make you a great cup of tea.”

You started taking a few bites of your pancake before you sat on the edge of the bed, bringing your plate with you and had your complete focus on the screen. You and Tom were still watching Hereditary and you intend to finish the  film, even if the film is starting to creep up on you.

Tom sat beside you, “How can you eat and watch this?” He asked.

You just shrugged. “I’m hungry, nothing can stop that.” You took another bite before you offered Tom the pancakes. “Do you want some?”

“Give me a bite,” He opened his mouth in response, leaning closer to you.

“Do it yourself, you big baby.” You laughed, almost handing him the plate before you realized, “Oh, I don’t think they gave us spare utensils though.”

“I can use yours, I don’t mind.”

You offered him your plate but Tom, instead of grabbing the plate, insisted on opening his mouth, insistently asking you to feed him. “Tommy, why are you acting like an actual child?!” You were joking of course, however, you can’t deny that this whole new dynamic that you two were having was refreshing to the eyes.

“C’mon, darling. Just give it” He replied and had his mouth open once again. “I’ll take the flowers and pins off your hair while you eat-”

“Alright, fair enough.” You agreed since you were getting the higher end of the deal. With the amount of hair pins on your hair? You were hitting the jackpot.

“I’ll do it if you also feed me.” Tom added.

“Eh, whatever,” You shrugged and took another bite of your pancake.

Tom stood on top of the bed so he could sit behind you, definitely on board with helping you with your hair. He sat behind you with his legs crossed, setting a comfortable position for him.

You felt the slight touch of his fingers graze on your neck, as he brought all of the hair to your back. As he ran his fingers softly through the ends of your hair, it was enough to make you yawn. You love it when someone plays with your hair, which perfectly explains why you like going to the hairdressers.

Trying to fight off the drowsiness that was slowly taking over you, you figured you’d cut a piece off of your pancake and feed it to Tom. You sliced a piece off with your fork and hovered it over your shoulder.

Soon enough, Tom generously took the bite and carried on with removing the pins and flowers that were carefully placed on your hair.

The process was going on for a couple of minutes now: you watching and feeding Tom with your shared pancakes, and Tom willingly taking out the pins out of your hair.

It also wasn’t long when another jumpscare appeared on screen, making you jump subtly. Maybe it wasn’t subtle as you thought, since Tom was snickering behind you.

“What are you laughing at? Maybe you insisted on helping me with my hair so you can hide behind me because you’re scared too.” You pointed out, being petty and all.

“Am not,” He grumbled, slightly offended. “Maybe I do wanna help.” He then outstretched his legs, saying that he can feel his leg getting numb.

You started to feel bad, since he didn’t have any obligation to do any of it. “Tommy, it’s okay. You can stop now.” You said, twisting your body so you can take a look at him.

“What? No, you’re fine, my darling.” He said turning your body upright, making you face the television again. “S’alright, you’re alright.” He muttered softly and went back to your hair.

You mumbled a soft ‘okay,’ too shy to say something else. You kept taking turns with feeding Tom the pancakes and taking a few bites yourself. You weren’t gonna lie and tell people that this, this, time with Tom was suffocating because it’s not.

This was the first time you ever felt truly comfortable with him. It truly felt like you were spending time with someone you loved. However, that idea itself terrifies you. The idea made you feel like you were walking on thin ice and you know you’re bound to sink anytime soon.

“Tom, here, take the last bite.”

Tom gratefully took the last bite and said, “Thanks, darling. Now put that plate on the table so we can prop ourselves properly on the bed.”

You obliged and as you did, you heard Tom dusting off the bed. Walking back, you saw him look so restricted with his slacks and button ups made you feel bad. He also looked so exhausted which, obviously, made you feel even more bad.  “Tom, why don’t you just spend the night here?”

“I beg your pardon,” Tom cleared his throat. “Did you just suggest that I should spend the night here?”

“Y-yeah, I mean...” You trailed off. “You look exhausted and it would probably make me worry less if you did stay.”

“If it’s alright with you, then I wouldn’t mind.” He said softly, smiling.

You felt your cheeks burning and you really had to act fast. You remembered you wore your sweatpants earlier, as you were getting your hair and makeup done, and figured maybe Tom could fit in it.

“I’ve already worn this earlier but only while I was getting my makeup and hair done.” You pulled your black sweats out of your suitcase and offered it to Tom. “I’m not sure if it fits but it’s better than sleeping with slacks on right?”

“Are you trying to see me naked?” Tom smirked.

“W-what? No, you shithead.” You stammered. “I’m trying to make you feel comfortable. Also, if you are wearing nothing underneath then maybe keep the pants on and reevaluate why you went to a wedding without underwear?!” You popped off.

“Relax, Y/N, I was kidding.” He laughed, visibly amused at the look of distress on your face. “I’ll try it on. Thank you.”

Tom stood up and began unbuckling his belt. He was about to take his pants off when he gave you a teasing smile, in which you realized that you were staring. You turned around, absolutely embarrassed, and head soft chuckles from Tom.

“Okay, I’m decent.” Tom yelled, which you took as a proper signal and turned around, only to find your sweatpants fit snugly on Tom. “It’s a bit snug, but I think I’ll manage.” He commented as he also began unbuttoning his shirt.

You weren’t going to lie and tell people that you think that Tom isn’t fit. Because he is. He is very fit. His fans know that, you know that, everyone knows that. So, would they blame you if you stared at his fit body, absolutely flustered? Of course not, because they know.

However, what they don’t know is how hard you’re trying your hardest not to stare because, you of all people, know how you don’t like when people stare at your body.

“So, whaddaya think?” He turned around and lifted his bum, asking jokingly: “Too much?”

“Eh, it could be better.” You said, playing along.

“Oh c’mon,” He groaned in exaggeration, “People think I have a great arse.” Tom pouted while he returned to his position. This time he climbed up the bed, resting his back against the headboard, and had his legs spread.

“You know what? They’re right,” You said as you climbed up the bed as well and sat between his legs again. “You do have a fabulous ass.”

“Now, you’re just saying that to flatter me so I can continue removing pins from your hair.” He mumbled softly, feeling the return of his fingers back on your hair.

“Yeah,” you sighed in content. “I’m not letting you go until every hairpin is gone, babe.” You replied, not even thinking about what you were saying. Your eyes widened. Babe? You called him babe? Bitch, you’re losing it.

You heard Tom chuckle, “Oh, so I’m “babe” now, huh?” He teased.

“That wasn’t me, that was the exhaustion talking.” You mumbled shyly, a poor attempt to mask up an excuse.

“Right,” He drawled, obviously aware that you were just making up an excuse for this dubious slip up. “S’okay though, I liked it.” He whispered on your right ear, making you squirm as you found it ticklish.

“Why-” You whipped your head back to face him, “Why would you do that, I’m ticklish, Tom”

“’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Tom laughed, “Can you please call me “babe” again?”

“No.” You replied and just heard him let out an exaggerated sigh.

You two were busy bickering and being distracted by each other, that you didn’t know that the scene you two were watching was the last scene of the film.

“Huh,” You huffed. “Wasn’t expecting that ending.”

“What’s with all the butts?” He pondered out loud.

“I don’t know but I want that image out of my head. Do you have any movie suggestions because I know you don’t like horror.” You asked Tom as you scrolled through the movie selections once again.

Tom peered from behind you and rested his chin on your shoulder, “Oh, have you seen Coco?” He asked in suggestion, seeing the movie from the list.

“The Pixar movie?” You asked and he nodded. “Nope, I haven’t yet.”

“We should watch it then,” Tom said “It’s a great movie. I was in bits when I saw it and I was on the plane then.”

“Is it that sad?” You gasped as you clicked on the movie, waiting for the screen to finish loading.

“Oh, I was full on sobbing, darling.” He confessed, his chin still resting on your shoulder.

As soon as the screen finished loading, you hit ‘play’ and said, “Well, I’m about to let a movie ruin me then.”

You were right. The movie already ruined you and you two were only half-way through. Tom had finished removing all the pins and flowers from your hair five minutes after the movie started, so he had the chance to watch the film properly.

Tom is now lying down comfortably, though he was elevated enough to watch the movie properly. You, on the other hand, are cuddling Tom. You had your head rested on his chest while he had his arm around you, his chin merely touching the top of your head.

How he managed to trick you into this you ask?

“Darling, I think you should cuddle me.” Tom requested as he ran his fingers through your hair one last time. He just finished removing all of the hairpins that managed to cause you pain and suffering all day.

“Why?” You asked appalled, not meaning to ask it with such tone.

“Because I’m shirtless and I’m cold.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have removed your shirt?”

“But it’s uncomfortable.”

“I don’t care”

“Okay, then I’ll just drive back to my hotel then, even though I’m pretty exhausted. I’m sure nothing bad will happen.” Tom sighed dramatically.

“God, you really are an actor, huh.” You snorted. “Fine, I’ll do it. I used to cuddle my friends anyway.”

“Are you friend zoning me?” He gasped, as he laid down.

“You are despicable, Holland.”

As you were half-way through the film, you can’t even remember how much you’ve cried already. You could hear the soft sniffles from the two of you as the movie progressed.

Your sniffles turned into full-on sobs when Héctor’s scene came on screen. He was singing to Chicharrón as a final ode before he passed on with no one from his family that were able to remember him.

“What the fuck is this film,” You commented in between sobs. “Why are they trying to ruin me like this?”

Tom rubbed your arm back and forth on, trying to comfort you. You were going through your packets of kleenex at rapid speed, as did Tom. You weren’t expecting to cry this much but here you are.

Tom wasn’t kidding when he said he was in bits when he saw this film.

“Tom, do you think they’ll room service us some Kleenex if we asked?” You asked him honestly, tears still spilling from your eyes. You knew your nose was red too because it started to hurt as you were continuously wiping it.

Tom laughed softly, crying too “’m not sure, darling.”

You lifted your head to take a good look at Tom, finding his eyes bloodshot red from crying and tear marks still visible from his face.

You used your thumb to wipe the tears from his face, making him laugh. “Why are you crying this much? I thought you’ve already seen the film?”

He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, “’m not too sure. I didn’t expect I’d cry this much too.” He managed to chuckle.

“We really need to call room service for some Kleenex, Tommy.” You sniffled.

quick side note: i actually saw coco for the first time [as i wanted to stay true to what i was writing] and i was a mess. i wasn’t lying when i wrote whatever the reader went thru bc same. 

TAGLIST: 

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter​ @jackiehollanderr​ @sltwins​ @herondalescecilys​ @notjustpenandpaper​ @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife​ @gothicwidowsworld​ @heartofholland​ @stxfxniexreads @peruvian-bae​ @hollands-osterfield​ @thenoddingbunny-blog​ @galacticstxrdust​ @sweartomendes​ @itsjstz​ @muade-mua-de​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @snowxbarryxendgame​ @cxlpxrnia​ @notasofti​

CAN’T TAG:

@sectusempried

[shadowfire1393]

The Fight

*This was originally in 3 parts but I decided to post all 3 parts together into one long one here

It had been a really long day out with El and Dani shopping and getting her nails and hair done for the vacation they were all about to take together. Angela had finally gotten home, and as she pulled into the driveway; she saw that Harry was already home from the studio. She excitedly to jump out of her car and ran towards the door as fast as she could because she had missed Harry all day. Before she opened the front door though Angela noticed a car that she didn’t recognize out front. She figured Harry had brought some guest home from work to talk business or something. She unlocked the door and walked in setting her purse and scarf on the table in the entry way. She took off her jacket and placed it on the coat rack right by the door

           “Harry I’m home.” Angela called into the house. She walked into the living room trying to find Harry because he wasn’t in the office or the kitchen. That was when she saw Harry kissing another girl, and she stopped in her tracks. She could feel tears start to fill her eyes. Never in their entire relationship had Harry ever been unfaithful. It is wasn’t like he couldn’t have hid what he was doing, she had literally called from the door that she was home. “What the hell?” Angela voiced her shock and anger.

           Harry quickly pulled away from the kiss and looked surprised to see her standing in the entryway of the living room, “Hey baby.” Angela looked from Harry to the girl and back again. Tears finally starting to fall from her eyes and roll down her cheeks.

           “DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME BABY! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” She yelled.

           Harry stood up and ran to her side trying to pull her into his arms, “No no no, it’s not what you think I swear.”

           She stepped out of Harry’s reach, “How can it not be what I think? I JUST SAW YOU KISSING HER! THERE ISN’T ANYTHING ELSE IT COULD BE” Angela screamed at him and then started for the door. She just wanted to leave that place. She grabbed her jacket and started to put it back on.

           “No wait please,” Harry ran after her. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me!”

“It isn’t that easy Harry,” she put on her scarf “you can’t just make out with some random girl in our flat and expect me to just forgive you after I catch you.” Angela grabbed her purse “Or wait, you weren’t expecting me to catch you because you weren’t expecting me home this early. So, what were you going to do Harry? Just keep screwing that slut hoping I would never find out?! You are Harry freaking Styles for God sakes the paparazzi would have eventually caught you in the act.”

Angela grabbed her keys. “Then I would have found out way later from one of your fans, or as some of them are, my haters on twitter. I guess it is a good thing I found out now though before we got married or something.” she finished while walking out the door. Tears streaming down her face, she slammed the door behind her. She could hear the door open behind her and she knew Harry was following her, but she didn’t care.

           “She kissed me first I swear” Harry grabbed her arm stopping her from getting in her car. He spun her around to look at him. She pulled out of his grip with anger and sadness written all over her face.

           “And you expect me to believe that you weren’t kissing her back? Huh? Is that what you are doing here? I saw your arms around her waist, Harry! I may be blonde, but I am not stupid!” Angela yelled at him getting even more mad with each passing sentence.

           “I am so so sorry, Angel. Please forgive me. I love you, so much.” He fell to his knees in front of her.

           “Tell me, why did you kiss her back? WHY HARRY? AM I NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU ANYMORE?” She asked her sadness overshadowing her anger.

           “She thought that I didn’t have girlfriend, and she was being so nice to me every time she saw me. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying that I did have a girlfriend,” he stared off a little like he was trying to figure out how it all ended up happening. “because I am tired of the sad look in every girl’s eyes when she finds out I am no longer single. I didn’t even know she was going to come over. I never thought that one little kiss would matter, and then I was going to tell her about our relationship.” He ended his explanation.

           “Unless she is living under a rock somewhere, Harry, she knew you had a girlfriend. It is constantly mentioned not just online but in interviews. I am constantly photographed with you or the girls. How could she not know you had a girlfriend? Also, Harry, one little kiss really? That doesn’t matter to you! Do you know how horrible that sounds? Whether it is just one little kiss, so you don’t hurt some slut’s feelings or not it is still considered cheating Harry!” She stared at him in disbelief of his ignorance. “If you truly loved me you wouldn’t have kissed her at all, and you would have told her that you had a girlfriend immediately, that you loved very much the moment you noticed that she was flirting with you.” Angela’s tears were still streaming down her face. Her anger was beginning to rise again.

           Harry slumped down on to the ground, “So are we over now?? Please, I don’t want to lose you, I am terribly sorry.” She could tell Harry was close to crying.

          “Harry, I don’t know that I can trust you anymore! How do I know that one day some fan won’t just kiss you and you won’t kiss her back because you don’t want her to feel rejected?” Angela started to cry harder just thinking about him doing it all over again, “Or that some girl on a video shoot won’t start to like you and this won’t happen again? Or even something worse where it is more than just a kiss, since after all kissing leads to making out, which eventually leads to sex!” She couldn’t stop her anger from rising till she was yelling at him in the middle of the driveway. She was so upset she didn’t even care if their neighbors heard her. “Harry how do I know that I can trust that none of this is ever going happen! Just seeing that ‘one little kiss’ as you call it has already shattered my heart into a million pieces that I don’t think that I can ever reassemble. I love you Harry and I thought you loved me too, but I guess I was wrong about that”

           Harry got incredibly angry that she would suspect he would ever sleep with another woman, “REALLY? YOU THINK I DON’T LOVE YOU? HAVE I EVER DOUBTED YOU BEFORE??? NO, I HAVE TRUSTED AND BELIEVED EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER TOLD ME,” Harry got to his feet and started yelling back at her. “EVEN WHEN YOU HAD TO ACT OUT THE KISSING SCENES IN YOUR STUPID T.V SHOW! I STAYED CALM BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD NEVER GO OFF WITH HIM!!!… YOU NEVER EVEN TRUSTED ME ONCE!!!” Angela could see the hurt and anger in Harry’s tear-filled eyes. He calmed down a little bit not wanting the neighbors to call the police on him, “And recently you have been so wrapped up in your T.V show, that I feel like I don’t even exist in your life anymore.” Tears finally start to stream down his face. Angela hasn’t stopped crying this whole time. She had never felt like this before in her entire life. It was as if the whole world was crashing down around them.

           “That is completely different, Harry. That is something called acting, where what you were doing was in real life. I have always trusted you because I know how your fans can get and I know how every girl on this God for Saken Earth looks at you wishing they could kiss you, be your girlfriend, and other things I don’t even want to think about right now. So you can’t even say I have never trusted you!” She told him in a calmer voice, trying to bring the argument from a screaming match to a civilized level, “I have never believed anything the tabloids have said about you cheating on me, I never believed any edited photo posted on twitter to get me away from you. I have always believed you this whole time, till I seen it with my own eyes!”

Angela covered her face not wanting to let him see how hurt she actually was. “The funny thing is El, Dani, and I had planned a vacation for all of us. So, we could have some alone time. I needed to finally get away from my T.V show because I feel like it is killing me. Now on the night I was going to surprise you with it, I walk in on you kissing some little trashy slut.” Harry looked at her with surprise in his eyes. Since he didn’t say anything she continued, “Do you honestly think I want to be on that stupid set all day away from you, not seeing you till we both get off work? No, but acting is something I love to do, and I never complain to you about never seeing you while you are recording or out on tour because I know you love singing so much! It is your life just like acting is mine.”

           Harry finally found the words that were caught in the back of his throat while Angela spoke, “Really you planned a vacation for us? Why would you waste your money like that???” She couldn’t believe he would call wanting to spend time with him and their friends a waste of money.

           “Because I want time away from the city. Where we could both get away from work, away from paparazzi, away from fans, and just curl up in each other’s arms Harry! I love you and you are the only thing in this world that makes all the work and all the hate I get worth it. So, to me it wasn’t a waste of money, it was a present to myself as well as you.” She responded turning away from his face. She finally gave up and fell to a sitting position on the ground, “Because without you I would die, and I felt like you were starting to question whether I loved you still or not. So, I knew I needed to get us away so I could show you that I have not and could never ever stop loving you,” Angela covered her face with her hands and just cried her heart out. Her arms were propped up on her knees supporting her head as she sobbed.

           “It’s not like you aren’t questioning me, too.” He said just staring at her as she sat there and cried.

           She looked up at him, “Harry, I only questioned your love for me because I will never understand why you would fall in love with a girl like me. A girl who in real life, not on the screen and not in the interviews I have to do, is crazy. I know I am not that pretty, plenty of casting directors have told me that. I have absolutely no sense of fashion and half the time when we are at home I look like a lazy mess in sweats and a baggy jumper. Yet everyday somehow this” She gestured to herself, “this is in your arms kissing you goodnight. I didn’t question your love for me because of lack of seeing you and the girls around you. I questioned your love for me because I have always known that you deserved better and when I saw you kissing that girl, I guess I just felt that all my previous thoughts were right…that I have and never could be worthy of your love” Angela cried harder covering her face back up with her hands to hide in shame.

           “Why would you ever think that?” Harry knelt down in front of her grabbing her hands and pulling them away from her face, “At signings a lot of girls give me their twitter names and phone numbers, and do I ever proceed to get into contact with them?? No, I don’t baby, because I love you for everything you are, and exactly for who and how you are.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks, “and all that stuff you said about what kissing leads to….” he leaned in closer to her, “I already have you to do all that with and I would not want to do any of that with anyone else in the world. You are my love, my life and my soul. You are everything I need and more and I love you. Please forgive me and don’t ever think that I would ever need anything else in the world other than you because you are my world.”

           Angela looked up at him, “Harry I don’t want to fight anymore it hurts me too much to fight with you.” He wiped the rest of her tears away. He then started to tickle her.

           “You started it,” he smiled at her at she squirmed at his touch.

           She couldn’t help but to giggle, “No, I couldn’t have. Ahhh stop tickling me Haz.” She squealed still trying to get away from him.

           “Not till you admit that I am the best kisser in the universe,” he continued to tickle her. To make sure she couldn’t squirm out of his grasp he moved around to behind her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

           “I…. I am not sure…...ahhh, if I can say that without a sample…. of said kisses,” Angela joked through her giggles.

           Harry stopped tickling her and turned her head so he could look her in eyes. With that knowing look in his eyes and a cocky smile on his face. “Oh, really now well I might just have to fix that for you.” He grabbed her hands and got up pulling her off the ground with him. He wrapped his arms around her waist.

He leaned into Angela and whispers in her ear, “I love you so much, Angel, that if you were no longer here with me, I would die. My precious love please never leave me.” His breath on her neck sent shivers down her spin. He raised one of his hands to her cheek and pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him deeper into the kiss moving her lips along with his. He put his hands on her thighs and lifted her up. Angela wrapped her legs around his waist without breaking the kiss. He started carrying her back to their flat. He broke the kiss so he can climb the stairs to the front door without dropping her.

           She smiled, “Okay you are the best kisser in the entire universe, but now my question for you is who is a better kisser me or that slut?” Angela cocked her head towards the blonde driving away that she had caught Harry kissing with and arched eyebrow.

           Harry looked away and acted like he had to consider it. The pissed look that appeared on her face made him laugh, “Ahaha, you should have just seen the look on your face. Do you really think that I would ever have to consider that? It is you of course because no kiss could ever be as amazing as the way I feel when I kiss you.” Angela gave him a dirty look and stuck her tongue out at him.

           “You are always teasing me, but I still love you.” She smiled as Harry pushed her against the flat’s front door after they got inside.

           “That is because you are so gullible you make it very easy.” He smiled starts to kiss on her neck. “When exactly are we going on this vacation?”

           “Next week on Tuesday.” Angela bit her lip to keep from shivering at his kisses.

           “I love you so much, Angel.” Harry whispered against her collar bone.

           She looked down at him, “I love you too, more than you could ever imagine.” He straightened up and gave her a deep passionate kiss. “Mm, it’s going to be a long night.” Angela moaned as Harry’s lips left her own and started to trail down her jaw.

[gelo-p]

Blooming in ZERO: Memories

I’ve decided to T100 the Re:ZERO collaboration! Let’s review how it went. XD

WARNING! A rather image-heavy post

Step 1: Roll for Rinko! (She’ll make my team stronger) Strictly speaking, I didn’t need her (means more work though), but I thought maybe I’ll get lucky? ^o^

I only had enough stars for 3 10-pulls though, and I have to say, this paid gacha was really tempting... (my Twitter friends all got Rinko WTF)

I’m broke though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We would quickly learn that we were overloading the servers, LOL. The game was very unplayable during the first two hours. During my first roll, the connection actually timed out D:

When I logged back in, I saw my stars got deducted, but thankfully I had new members in the waiting room. ^^

I actually got the limited Ako during that very first roll!

And so I tried again.

Fuck my luck. I’ve done 3 10-pulls, and all of them sucked.

Time to start playing I guess...

Oh right. The connection was bad.

Really bad. >_<

It’s been a while since I met coldgaze (P3), a fellow T10 from the Cycling Seasons event! That guy rarely shows up in the public rooms, LOL.

Also, we got a login campaign for 2500 stars! Which means another 10-pull! ^o^

...Why did I even think my luck would improve. >_>

Know what?

I SUMMON THEE! BLACK FRIDAY SALES!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA RIP wallet-kun, RIP being an F2P player 2020-2020

I swear to Babanbo-sama, if I don’t get Rinko using the paid gacha-

OMG D:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

YESSSSSSSSSS

I am now a believer in the Babanbo religion.

WHAT? Had I known I would be rolling both Rinko and Ako in this single paid gacha I would have started with this and avoided wasting 10k stars!!!

>_<

(Of course, I couldn’t have known. Although in hindsight, I definitely should have tried rolling the paid gacha first... but then we only got the Black Friday sale news after I already spent 10k free stars, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Fuck yes, Rinrin. Fuck yes.

I already had a good 4* Yukina, so I didn’t really need to roll for her anymore. Not to say I didn’t want her ^^

Anyway let the tiering continue!

First checkpoint: Almost at T100!

Let’s talk about Unite! A to Z for a bit.

I’ve been tiering since forever and one of the many gripes casual players like me (yes. I’m casual) is that a lot of the more serious players go into the public rooms and just spam the hell out of this song. I understand why they do it (tl;dr - short length, high score, aka “meta song”), and I can’t really stop them from doing it.

There are other meta songs, like Jumpin’, that give a little less score for a little longer duration, but players really, and I mean really, like to spam A to Z. I could argue that you can’t really get the full benefit of A to Z 100% of the time (players take time picking songs and difficulty anyway, and you’re not always going to be consistent with your score), so in the long run, there’s no significant harm in picking other meta songs (maybe I should do the math..?), but no.

For those players, 100% AtoZ.

And it’s gotten really annoying, to the point that players like the one in the screenshot just straight-up disconnects when AtoZ is picked.

Anyway, back to the story. ^o^

WTF? Why is Gigguk (the #77 guy) tiering? XD Is that really Gigguk?

Who knows? XD

99 ILLUSION IS MY LIFE

I feel bad for P4, LOL. Surrounded by Yukina cards. XD

WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE

Progress report: T35!

I took this screenshot just as I finished a game of AtoZ...

...and the game disconnects WTF GIVE ME MY FLAMES AND EFFORT BACK

(the score’s a bit higher since it wasn’t completely tallied yet when I took the 1st screenshot)

I’ve seen Bad Wifi Pam a couple of times during my entire Bandori career and when I saw this, all I could think was-

“Is it finally gonna happen?? IS IT!?”

“YESSSS!” XD

I’m sorry Bad Wifi Pam, but that moment really felt like I saw the DVD logo diving into the corner XD

I hope they didn’t lose too many flames though.

I told you, people just hate AtoZ XD

We didn’t sign up for a rhythm that only has one song, come on!

My connection got bad a couple of times and I was punished for it. >_<

There are 2 impostors among us.

P3, when has that ever stopped them LOL

UGH tell me about it, P4.

FINALLY A RANDOM ROO-

WHAT-

WHY, P1 WHY!?

I changed my name to encourage Random songs ^^

..not that it would work, but whatever.

We more than managed to...

Stay Alive. ;D

I’ll see myself out.

WTF is this, a Mexican Standoff???

More AtoZ haters (also known as Etuze, well, coz that’s how Aya pronounces it... We love you Aya! :”> )

Finally ran out of drinks.

It was time to burn stars for flames.

:|

:|

:|

:|

(That Orion guy ended up as T9, BTW. There’s more incentive to AtoZ spam when going for T10, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying for me.)

MY PC DIED WTF

It got fixed after a restart though, so thank fuck.

Now that I think about it, I need to really get down to the bottom of my GPU issues.

LOL, one time I picked Happy Synthesizer for the lulz, and one of the AtoZ spammers disconnected :)))

TBF, nobody likes to see Happy Synthesizer in Multi.

I’ve decided to be an asshole and just delay AtoZ. Oh? What’s that? AtoZ again? here, let me take 30 seconds to pick a difficulty.

Please note that this is an asshole move, since the other players are gonna get dragged into it. But I was really sick of it.

Hey! A friend that also hates AtoZ!

Anybody wants Miracle Crystals? -_-

Someone actually copied my name WTF XD

Woke up on the 2nd-to-the-last morning to see myself almost out of T100 contention.

Check out my challenge points tho. 8-)

It was time to burn them!

STOP THE COUNT! STOP THE COU-

Yeah nah fuck you. Count them all.

Aaaaaand we’re done! I parked at... this score, and I was fairly confident I’d still be in T100. ^^

...Unfortunately, I woke up the following morning to see that Bestdori projected the cutoff to be at 10.6M. That is waaay too close to 11M for comfort. So I panicked and played some more, even got to Level 230 in the process XD

Eventually the cutoff never really reached 11M, so I guess I didn’t have to? :3

I’d rather regret the extra effort though, than potentially lose T100 standing.

Now we’re done. 8-)

Just waiting for the event to end!

AAAND EVENT OVER! *victory fanfare*

LOL one of the T10′s got banned. Don’t cheat, kids.

IT’S HEEEEREEEEE

YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa-

[polygamyff]

47. Part 2

Watching Adam fuss over Maurice, it’s nice to see this. I know in the morning I was very mean to him, I feel bad about it because I just didn’t want to wake up. I didn’t want to come because I wanted the weekend to myself, I have Reign not sleeping and she is awake in the nights, I wanted to clean the home up a little also so I was not happy, I was pretty much angry about it but I feel bad now. I am such a bitch about it, but to see everything that happens, I am happy I came. I get to see Maurice in action, and I am just a bitch I guess. Maurice spoils me so much and he just needed some support, but I am here for him. I am not sure how to feel about the whole people loving us, I don’t want people too close to my family but it just seems like Maurice is making such a name for himself that people want to know but then again Maurice has made a name for himself before I came but I guess people have seen him change, I did that and I am proud of it but it was surely not fun. There is a few bumps to go yet but it’s not all that bad. I am super proud of him, he has really changed himself and his attitude and he is so happy and I do see it, I mean ok I have my mood swings but he takes it well, he knows to leave me alone but I am so proud of him, like he does not understand how much I love him, how much I adore the way he is. I was scared to come here, it was one of those moments thinking has he really changed but he needed me close, this distance thing was not working. He needed me and I didn’t see it, I just was wanting to be blind to the situation because I mean I don’t want to be in New York but I have been happy with him, I would like to hope we one day get to move, well I would like to go back to California, I miss it there “look at you staring at Maurice in awe” my mom said, she has been poking fun at me all day “mhmm sometimes” I smiled sitting back in the seat “it’s just interesting to see, I’ve picked up on things I didn’t know before. He has OCD, and I didn’t pick up on that because his hotel cleaners came, I didn’t really live with him like that, so I am just getting to know the real Maurice, it’s not all that bad. He knows to run away when he’s annoyed me so there is that” my mom laughed “I am happy, you have both found your feet. Time for mommy to go back now Robbie” pulling a face “but mom you always there for me with Reign, what about when I need to rant?” I don’t want my mom to go “then you call me Robbie, Maurice is so good with Reign, I am really not needed at all. Stop holding onto me, I am fine” I don’t want my mom to go back “what do you think? Nice ain’t it?” looking over at Maurice “it looks like every other suit” I grinned saying “wow, I sense the hate. It’s different, the feel of it, the look of it. You’re just a hater” Adam really fusses over Maurice behind him “Robyn, up next” Adam said to me.

I have never dressed in front of a random man in my life “you have seen me naked now” I said to Adam “there is always a first time, it’s the norm for me Robyn. And I will say this, you have the sexiest body ever, like I am in love with it. For a gay guy, I would” I laughed out so loudly “stop!” I spat “that nipple piercing, I know Maurice has a good time. No wonder he is like this” I swear to god he needs to stop “stop it” taking in a deep breath and breathing out “like I was saying, this is a first for me. I mean ok Maurice I slept with the first time but that is different but I have not got naked in front of a random man, not like this anyways. I at least know them for an hour at least anyways” Adam laughed shaking his head “and we will get more of this, trust me. This is not the first time I have had to dress people on the jet” that makes me curious “what about his ex-wife?” I had to ask “oh that is a good question and I can say honestly. No, I have never dressed her. Nor have I dressed any female Maurice has been with, you are the first I have had to fuss over. Now he is wanting me to dress Reign but, no. He is really into you, I am blaming that nipple piercing” I laughed at Adam while hitting his shoulder “go away, leave it alone” turning around to look at the mirror “you think it’s too much? Do I look like a whore? I am not a whore right?” I am doubting “you are making a damn statement, you go girl. Right from the ball gown too, stop it. You have the body for it, flaunt it!” Adam spat, staring at myself “I don’t look big in this do I? You know cameras will add on pounds?” I am worried now “girl, please be quiet. You have such a nice body” I am wearing a sleek black dress, with a plunging top half to show a small glimpse of my boobs but not too much, sleeveless arms but the dress is figure hugging “if you say so, Adam. If this makes me look terrible, I am going to murder you” I really will, I feel I have gained. My nails weren’t done so I had to them done last night, last minute.

I have my Rolex on, I have my hair in a tall ponytail and my black print handbag with my open toed heels, I think I am ready now “you should get a makeup artist to come along with you” Adam suggested, popping my lips in the mirror “I am ok, I think I do my things ok. What you think?” turning to him “perfect, come on now. Let’s take a picture, and also what you think? This is something Maurice has installed in the back so he can get changed, it’s cute” Adam got up from the pull out seat “it is, he is a clever man. When he wants to be” Adam snatched my phone from me “stood there all reluctant, what for? You are going to steal the show, Maurice and you are going to look so good together” Adam aimed my phone at me “give us a smile, come on” Adam said, looking down at myself before looking up at Adam and smiled “stop” I laughed shaking my head “stop, I have just started. Look at her body, I mean who wouldn’t?” what on earth is he doing, he put my phone down and started typing “wait! What are you doing?” walking over to him “just wait!” he moved back away from me “it’s not bad, please” I am concerned right now, he could be typing anything “I put, My girl Robyn ready for the opening of the new Hilton-Davenport hotel, styled by yours truly Adam and now” he said “that is sent” he passed me my phone finally “erm, I didn’t see!?” I spat, is he crazy, refreshing my page to see the post “oh god, look at my fat face just smiling. Come on” Adam scoffed “you are such a liar, get out now” Adam opened the door “y’all took ages!” Maurice complained, I wasn’t even ready to leave yet. I sighed out heavily making my way out of the room “well it takes time, wanted to make sure Robyn’ boobs stayed in place, I also had a little stare at them” Adam is funny “I am done, and I heard Reign is awake. She was giggling” Maurice’ face softened “oh wow, oh wow. Robyn” Maurice got up from his seat nearly dropping Reign “calm down” I said trying to catch my daughter “holy shit, Robyn. Wow” taking Reign from Maurice “look at this, oh my god. You look so beautiful” I blushed “I told you, no need to think anything else” moving my head away form Reign, she is trying to touch my face.

Maurice annoys my daughter too much “I preferred you bald” Maurice said to Reign, she was about to grab his face, but he moved back “ha! You can’t catch me stink” Reign whined out “stop it, I am trying to do her hair” he is so annoying at times “I am trying to do you Robyn, like think of this. Me and you are going to be the first people to have sex in my new hotel, mind blowing right?” I smirked trying to not laugh at him “nobody said that was happening, you are deluded” finishing off “aww look at your puffy little pigtails, aww my baby. You look so pretty! Oh my god, mommy has done so well. Now if daddy can pass me your bib so you can drool on there” snatching Reign’ bib from him “you lucky she didn’t drool on her dress; she is in a good mood. You are going to upset her”  Maurice is like a naughty school kid, he is a feign, he wants me so bad “mhmm they are both in a good mood, mhmmm I want to upset them” eye-balling Maurice as he stared at my boobs “my mother is here!” I spat “I know, she knows. She raised a very beautiful daughter, I respect that” he is so full of shit “Terry I am sorry, I don’t mean it. I just get excited” he apologised “I have heard enough of you two now” my mom has had enough now; she is ready to go. Shaking my head staring at Maurice, Reign placed her bubzy in my face “what is it baby?” she looks so pretty, Maurice got up from his seat from across me “where are you going?” grabbing his arm, he laughed “nothing, toilet” he said with a smirk “yeah?” raising an eyebrow “mhmm” he is not shit at all, I don’t even want to know. Letting him walk off “sorry mom” I feel bad, he is so bad “don’t be, he is like a teenage boy on heat. Men” my mother shook her head laughing.

Maurice took way longer then he should have in that toilet, watching Maurice sit down across from me. He let out a very deep sigh “relieved?” I said in a whisper “very” Maurice mumbled laughing, he is so nasty “please tell me you didn’t” I don’t want my mother to hear, Maurice smirked sitting back “whatever you say, you can think what you like my love” leaning over on the table, Maurice’ eyes fell down onto my breasts “those are what got me going” he pointed, shaking my head laughing “don’t you think Adam has done well? He has hid them well, it’s just you” Maurice bit his bottom lip, he clenched his fist and blew out air “I think me and you need to erm, you know” he is very horny, he is such a mess “I love you pootie, my mom is leaving us by the way. She is done with us, I am sad actually” I can feel Maurice undressing me with his eyes, he is so very horny “stop it” I said to him “ok, I am done. Anyways I am sad Terry is leaving but she is being too kind with the behaviour Robyn’ exhibits, I mean Terry do you agree with the dress she is wearing?” I gasped, is he doing this right now “excuse me” I said “my daughter is taken now, I have no say unless you don’t like it?” my mom said “I like it in other places” he is not shit “mom, stop speaking to him” placing my hand up “he is just a teenage boy, he can’t help himself” Maurice grabbed my hand dragging it down “you know damn well I ain’t, you love me really” he is making me so happy, I do love how playful he is with me more recently than ever.

My mom held Reign to get off the jet as I made my way down the steps slowly, I don’t want to trip and fall now. Maurice held his hand out to me, placing my hand in his “thank you baby” held my hand down the rest of the steps “you honestly, hand on my heart. You look so beautiful and I am so lucky to have you, you blown my mind seeing you like this. Got me so speechless” I cooed out “Maurice that is so sweet, I love you so much” placing my hands on his chest, smoothing down his suit “I don’t want to mess your makeup so I will refrain from attacking you” I grinned wide “I love you, I am so glad I came. I could get used to this” I can’t wait to have sex with him, that will be happening “Robyn, Maurice. Come here now, we have a photographer” looking behind me at Lorraine “for what?” I said “promo shoots for the company, come on now. Rich, this is Maurice and Robyn Davenport. Say hi to Rich” Maurice was the first to get his hand out to him “nice to meet you, this will be on the promo so do good pictures of us” Maurice said “already have, and you are looking beautiful. I am Rich” shaking his hand “thank you so much” how sweet of him “in general!” Lorraine shouted “he is your photographer now” letting out an oh “for what?” I don’t get it “everything! He will be taking pictures and he is the only guy to publish them too, learn to have him around. Come on” looking over at Maurice, this is so wild to me.

[cait-with-luv]

J.JK Soul Ink - Playlist

Previous | Next

¬ Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha

Oh, it's just me, myself and I Solo ride until I die Cause I, got me for life,yeah Oh I don't need a hand to hold Even when the night is cold I got that fire in my soul

¬ Him & I - G-Eazy ft Halsey

Cross my heart, hope to die To my lover, I'd never lie He said "be true", I swear I'll try In the end, it's him and I He's out his head, I'm out my mind We got that love, the crazy kind I am his and he is mine In the end, it's him and I, him and I

¬  You Don't Own Me - Grace ft G-Eazy

You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys

Don't tell me what to do And don't tell me what to say Please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display

¬Control - Halsey

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

¬ Gasoline - Halsey

And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline

I think there's a flaw in my code These voices won't leave me alone Well my heart is gold and my hands are cold

¬Hold me down - Halsey

My demons are begging me to open up my mouth I need them, mechanically make the words come out They fight me, vigorous and angry, watch them pounce Ignite me, licking up the flames they bring about

¬ Without Me - Halsey

Gave love 'bout a hundred tries Just running from the demons in your mind Then I took yours and made 'em mine I didn't notice 'cause my love was blind

¬ Nightmare - Halsey

I've tasted blood and it is sweet I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet I've trusted lies and trusted men Broke down and put myself back together again Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters Collected the pieces and picked out a dagger I've pinched my skin in between my two fingers And wished I could cut some parts off with some scissors

¬ Now or Never - Halsey

Never pick up, never call me You know we're runnin' out of time Never pick up when you want me Now I gotta draw a line Baby I done, done enough talking Need to know that you're mine Baby we done, done enough talking Gotta be right now, right now

¬ I Walk The Line - Halsey

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine I keep my eyes wide open all the time I keep the ends out for the tie that binds Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true I find myself alone when each day is through Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you

¬  Desperado - Rihanna

Gotta get up out of here and You ain't leaving me behind I know you won't, 'cause we share common interests you Need me, there ain't no leaving me behind Never know, no, just want out of here yeah Once I'm gone, ain't no going back

¬Needed Me - Rihanna

I was good on my own, that's the way it was That's the way it was You was good on the low for a faded fuck On some faded love Shit, what the fuck you complaining for? Feeling jaded huh? Used to trip off that shit I was kickin' to you Had some fun on the run though I give it to you

¬I'm Gonna Show You Crazy -  Bebe Rexha

I'm tired of trying to be normal I'm always over-thinking I'm driving myself crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy?

And I don't need your quick fix I don't want your prescriptions Just 'cause you say I'm crazy So what if I'm fucking crazy? Yeah, I'm gonna show you

¬ Bad Bitch - Bebe Rexha ft Ty Dolla $ign

You're sayin' that your tired of all your empty habits You want something that's deeper 'cause you're over the generics You're fuckin' with them basics when you really want the baddest So come on, baby, get it, 'cause to miss it, it would be tragic

¬ Straight Shooter - Skylar Grey

Married into this family and I'm datin' a bunch of outlaws Even the children drawing guns out of little crayon box Playing with scissors, cuttin' straight to the point Don't need to beat around the bush, we takin' shots to the groin

¬ Yonce/Partition - Beyoncé

Driver roll up the partition please I don't need you seeing 'Yonce on her knees Took forty-five minutes to get all dressed up We ain't even gonna make it to this club Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged

¬ Or Nah - SoMo (Rendition)

I'm a freaky-deeky lover wanna hit you from the back and other ways That you have never experimented under the covers Roll around the bed with me is something you don't just discover If you wanna get with me you gotta keep it on one hundred I'mma make you scream my name

¬ The Hills - The Weeknd

I only love it when you touch me, not feel me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah

¬ Gangsta - Kehlani

I'm fucked up, I'm black and blue I'm built for it, all the abuse I got secrets, that nobody, nobody knows I'm good on, that pussy shit I don't want, what I can get I want someone, with secrets That nobody, nobody, nobody knows

¬ CRZY - Kehlani

Everything I do, I do it with a passion If I gotta be a bitch, I'ma be a bad one I'm AI with the designs, du-ragging Bounce back game good, why we talkin' practice? Yeah, yeah, yeah Pull up score when I want to Best thing next to Heaven They be tryna count me out though I'm just countin', countin' blessings A real woman 'bout her paper

¬ Good Life - Kehlani & G-Eazy

Raise up a cup up for all my day ones Two middle fingers for the haters Life's only getting greater Straight up from nothing we go Higher than the highest skyscraper No Little League, we major The proof is in the paper

¬ Sucker For Pain - Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Lil Wayne, Logic, Wiz Kalifa, Ty Dolla $ign

I torture you Take my hand through the flames I torture you I'm a slave to your games I'm just a sucker for pain I wanna chain you up I wanna tie you down I'm just a sucker for pain

¬ Do Re Mi - blackbear

If I could go back to the day we met I probably would just stay in bed You run your mouth all over town And this one goes out to the sound Of breaking glass on my Range Rover

¬ Zipper - Jason Derulo

I'ma mark my territory Shawty I'm an animal, slowly digging in to you Spread you like a bad story Turn you to a criminal, let me see you cock it back

¬ Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding

Fading in, fading out On the edge of paradise Every inch of your skin is a holy grail I've gotta find Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire Yeah, I'll let you set the pace 'Cause I'm not thinking straight My head spinning around, I can't see clear no more What are you waiting for?

¬ Beating Heart - Ellie Goulding

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight Before the bleeding sun comes alive I want to make the best of what is left hold tight And hear my beating heart one last time.

¬ Pillowtalk - Zayn

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure Nobody but you, 'body but me 'Body but us, bodies together I love to hold you close, tonight and always I love to wake up next to you

¬ Dusk Til' Dawn - Zayn ft Sia

'Cause I wanna touch you, baby And I wanna feel you, too I wanna see the sunrise and your sins Just me and you Light it up, on the run Let's make love, tonight Make it up, fall in love, try

¬ I Don't Wanna Live Forever - Zayn ft Taylor Swift

Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all

Baby, baby, I feel crazy, up all night, all night and every day Give me something, oh, but you say nothing What is happening to me?

¬ Wrong - MAX Ft Lil Uzi Vert

Wanted to take her back to my place Driving 90, let the cops chase Making that "Damn it feels so good" face Cause she don't wanna wait, no, wait 'til we get home

¬ Youngblood - 5SOS

Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name Takes one to know one, yeah You beat me at my own damn game

¬ Champions - Fall Out Boy ft RM

Have you ever felt how hard it is to be an anybody To be living, to be breathing, not choosing a dead body Remember, the man told me that this life is a party Yeah, all the glory's so short you should put away the garbages Normal ain't normal, ordinary is a luxury

¬ Crossfire - Stephen

He'd trade his guns for love But he's caught in the crossfire And he keeps wakin' up But it's not to the sound of birds The tyranny, the violent streets Deprived of all that we're blessed with And we can't get enough, no

¬ Revolution - Diplo

Can you see it? The worst is over The monsters in my head are scared of love Fallen people listen up! It's never too late to change our luck

¬ Bad Guy - Billie Eilish

White shirt now red, my bloody nose Sleeping, you're on your tippy toes Creeping around like no one knows Think you're so criminal Bruises, on both my knees for you Don't say thank you or please I do what I want when I'm wanting to My soul? So cynical

¬ Bad Moon Rising- Mourning Ritual ft Peter Dreimanis

I see a bad moon rising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.

Don't go around tonight, Well, it's bound to take your life, There's a bad moon on the rise.

¬ Give It To Me- Agust D

(Same Lyrics, just in Hangul and in English)

아직은 성공의 비법은 몰라도 망하는 비법 잘 알 것 같어 딱 너처럼 놀고 나불대는 게 비법 죽어도 그렇겐 안 살 것 같어

I'm still not sure about the secret to success But I think I know the secret to failure The secret is to play the fool just like you And keep blabbing your mouth But I wouldn't live like that even if I had to die

¬ Jopping - SuperM

You think ya big boi, throwing three stacks I'mma a show you how to ball, you a mismatch Opinionated but I'm always spitting straight facts Throwback, I might throw this on an 8 track Believe me, I'm sight to see Exciting go and drop the beat We get it jopping the party, it don't stop The festival is now starting

¬  Tove Lo - Vibes

Skin to skin Seepin' in Flickering, our eyes go wide You giving me studded sight Painting stars In our hearts Yeah, you know I'm down for you I want you to lick my wounds

¬ Bad Things- Machine Gun Kelly ft Camila Cabello

Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind? If you only knew the bad things I like Don't think that I can explain it What can I say, it's complicated Don't matter what you say Don't matter what you do I only wanna do bad things to you So good, that you can't explain it What can I say, it's complicated

¬ Home - Machine Gun Kelly ft Bebe Rexha ft X Ambassadors

I been through so much pain And it's hard to maintain, any smile on my face 'Cause there's madness on my brain So I gotta make it back, but my home ain't on the map Gotta follow what I'm feeling to discover where it's at I need the (memory) In case this fate is forever, just to be sure these last days are better And if I have any (enemies) To give me the strength to look the devil in the face and make it home safe

¬ Way Down We Go (Stripped) - Kaleo

They will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

¬ 7 Rings - Ariana Grande

Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage? Rather be tied up with calls and not strings Write my own checks like I write what I sing

¬ Don't Call Me Angel - Ariana Grande,  Miley Cyrus & Lana Del Ray

See you here with somebody Dude sizin' up my body Don't you know that I bite when the sun set, yeah? So don't you track 'em around me Might work on them, but not me Don't you know that I bite when the sun set?

¬ Into You - Ariana Grande

I'm so into you, I can barely breathe And all I wanna do is to fall in deep But close ain't close enough 'til we cross the line So name a game to play, and I'll roll the dice, hey

¬ Dangerous Woman - Ariana Grande

Somethin' 'bout you makes me feel like a dangerous woman Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout

¬ Seven Nation Army ( Glitch Mob Remix)

I'm gonna fight 'em all A seven nation army couldn't hold me back They're gonna rip it off Taking their time right behind my back

¬  Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

No one never listens, this wallpaper glistens Don't let them see what goes down in the kitchenPlaces, places, get in your places Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces Everyone thinks that we're perfect Please don't let them look through the curtains

¬ Carousel - Melanie Martinez

Round and round like a horse on a carousel, we go, Will I catch up to love? I could never tell, I know, Chasing after you is like a fairytale, but I, Feel like I'm glued on tight to this carousel

[mrs-hollandstan]

I’m Sorry || Tom Holland

Warnings: there might be some language, plus size reader x Tommy man, tis cuteness

Word Count: 2,122

Author’s Note: So this is the fic I cried over the other day haha. I really really really loved writing this request because I myself am plus size so this was personal and like I said, I really loved it, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. :)

Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists

Here's the thing. Dating Tom Holland is a dream. Being practically a nobody who just graduated high school and meeting Tom Holland in the middle of England while on vacation was the best thing ever. I'd seen him with other girls so nothing prepared me for the absolute tongue tied boy, drooling over me. Especially because the girls he could get were skinnier and way prettier. He loved the slight tummy and thighs I had though. 

"Y-you're into me?" He nodded, taking my hands in his own over the table he had snuck me away to in a bar after he'd pursued me. I just smiled, his dark brown eyes staring into mine,

"You're so perfect." I just scoffed,

"You know I'm only eighteen right? And I'm not skinny or famous or anything?"

"That's not what I want anyways. I'm not much older than eighteen. Just a couple years. I don't want some skinny twig model girlfriend. Those are like the stereotypical girlfriends. I like you. H-how do you feel about me?" For him to be nervous when he was completely irresistible was the cutest thing ever. His chocolate brown eyes softened as if he was afraid of some sort of rejection. I just giggled.

"I like you too Tom." He let out a breath like that was the last thing he expected, giving my hand a gentle and reassuring squeeze. The first few months he was so deep in love, it was hard for him not to tell anyone but close friends and family. I was afraid of what the public would think of us. Despite all of the hyping up of heavy girls on social media, there were still those haters that would have ripped me apart and as much as Tom wanted to share his girlfriend with everyone, he wanted to protect me as much as he could.

"Why don't you wear my tees babe?" Tom asked one day, cocking his head and looking up from his phone. He stroked over my calves resting in his lap when laughed,

"Where's this comin from?"

"I just see all these girls wearing their boyfriend's t-shirts and you don't. I'm just curious why." He replied with a shrug. When I was quiet for a moment, Tom looked up again, his brow furrowing,

"What's the matter?" I shook my head, feeling the lump in my throat. Not because of  him. Not because he did anything wrong. More because of the disappointment with myself,

"Nothing. I uhh... I don't wear your shirts because they don't... they don't fit." If he could've been more dramatic in his surprise he would have, dragging me down into his arms with the loudest gasp ever.

"Oh baby, I'm so so sorry. It's okay. Don't say anything. You're not fat, I'm just lean and... I'll buy bigger ones if you'd like. You're perfect darling. I love you so much." He rushed out, kissing all over my face and squishing me into his body. Truth be told, Tom did seriously love me and it was a bit of a surprise. He could have whoever he wanted. He could have a brave and confident girl who had a perfect body and a stunning face, practically Instagram model material. I was none of those things. He disagreed, but I had my flaws and just like most girls, I didn't enjoy much about me.

The day Tom accidentally let it slip that we were together was the best and the worst day of my life. I didn't even realize what had happened until my phone was blown up with notifications of people tagging me in the reveal and commenting on my photos some of the nicest things I'd ever seen. But for one would comment, was ten bad ones. Just as I'd suspected, most of Tom's fans weren't happy he was with me.

"Babe? Y/N? Honey?"

"Tom stop." I choked out, staring down at the same page in my math book as I had an hour ago, trying to study for my exam, but to no avail. I wanted so badly to slap his hands away when he started rubbing my shoulders. He sighed as tears flooded my eyes as if he knew,

"Maybe you should leave me. I'll never be good enough for you and now that I've done this..." I closed my eyes, trying not to break down in a fit of sobs,

"Did you see what they said? How can the same people that argue heavy girls are just as beautiful as skinny girls be so cruel?" When my voice cracked, he bent down, kissing the exposed skin of my neck,

"I don't know baby. I really don't know, but did you see some of the good comments? You got some really amazing supporters. I think they overpower the bad. You're beautiful and those people that think you're not, can't see past their noses. You are absolutely stunning and anyone that can't see that and can't see how in love with you I am has no right to call themselves a fan of mine." Turning my face he could see the toll it'd taken on me. He knew I'd seen every comment and that each one was a new slap in the face. People called me fat. People called me a whore because I was eighteen rather than twenty one or twenty two. People called me ugly. People had called me a money grubbing bitch, just with Tom for the fame. He knew how it had affected me and he knew I was hurt. But he had been called things too. I'd seen the comments made about him being a "pedophile." And yes, they didn't affect me because as much as people denied it, I was a consenting adult. I was fully capable of making my own decisions and as Tom had said to me, he isn't that much older.

"People are stupid. I mean seriously, they act like this is all statutory rape. You're an adult and so am I and I find you irresistible. You're gorgeous." A small smile spread across my lips. He smiled back, running his hands up my sides,

"I'm in love with all of you. You're my everything and I am not gonna stop because these people think I can be with someone 'better'. You're my better and they don't know me. They don't know how happy you make me and they don't know what we have." Sitting on the bed just beside me, he makes me look at him,

"I promise you that no matter what happens, you are my girl and I will marry you one day. I swear on my life okay?" Holding his hand out, he waits for me to take it before pulling me towards him. I squealed, practically falling into his lap,

"Tom!" He chuckled, laying back on the bed,

"I'm more in love with you than I've ever been with anyone. I've never seen a prettier girl than you. I don't care what anyone says, you are MY girl, not theirs." I can't help the smile that crosses my face,

"I love you." He reaches up to caress my cheek, holding his arm out as I lay just beside them,

"I love you more. We've been in this relationship for almost a year and you know what? I'm not letting you go because some stupid people that call themselves fans don't find you attractive. I find you attractive and that's less people I have to fight for you." I giggled again, leaning in to kiss his soft lips,

"Thank you. While I'm not glad you let it slip, I am glad that you were willing to stand up for me. I've never loved you more than I do now. I think this brought us impossibly closer." He nodded, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and bringing my thigh up over his waist, his hand resting on my knee,

"Me too. And as far as the age thing goes, I'm only four years older than you and neither of us have cared. Age is just a number. It's not like I'm dating a girl way older than me or like a fourteen year old."

"The age thing wasn't a worry Tom. I really could care less. I've just always struggled with my weight and seeing all those people curious about the same thing I was all those months ago, but in a much ruder way was kinda devastating. I've always wanted you to be happy and I was scared that you'd realize something and leave me. I just don't want you to be miserable when you could have something better."

"Nothing is better than this." He crawled over me, kissing my collarbone. Creeping down my body, he lifted my shirt to kiss my stomach,

"There's so much more of you to love baby girl." Creeping further down, he nipped at the skin of my thigh, a smile creeping to his lips when I squealed and then giggled. Running his large hands over my thighs, he sat up straight, resting back on his shins,

"You're soft. Do you know why I love you? I love you because you are the sweetest. My family fell in love with you the same as I did. You're the prettiest. You don't have to wear makeup to be absolutely stunning. And a messy bun... oh lord girl. AND you know what you're doing. You and I both know you're great in bed. And you're an amazing make out partner. I don't plan on giving that up any time soon." When he leaned in, I flicked a curl from his eyes,

"I love you Tommy. I know its dumb of me to doubt myself. I know how in love with me you are. I just don't want you to be missing out on something."

"There's nothing else sweet thing. I love you with everything in me. I love all of you and no matter what is said you will always be my girl. You're way more comfortable than any other girl I've been with and that's what I want. I don't want some girl that's gonna be so uncomfortable to eat, or be without a bra or makeup in front of me. I want a confident woman. Someone who gets along with my family and treats them like her own. And that's exactly what you are. You're my baby." I giggled and squirmed as he tickled me, his lips falling over mine. He held my hands in his own, kissing down my neck,

"Tom?"

"Hmm?" Waiting until his eyes were on me again, I searched the dark brown irises,

"Thank you... seriously. You've never treated me bad and I seriously don't think I could do any of this without you. You're my rock and you're the most down to earth and sweetest person ever. I don't think I could've picked a better man if I tried." He smiled, stroking his thumb over my cheek,

"Of course baby. You mean the world to me and I intend to show you as much as I can." Kissing me again, he let his lips linger for a moment before gasping into my mouth,

"Babe! Now you can go to GALA's and premieres with me. Oh babe, we're gonna have paparazzi picture and we can... oh my god there's so much we can do. We can hold hands in public now!" I giggled again as he bounced on his knees, standing and grabbing his phone,

"Now that we're freaking in the press I know what I wanna do."

"Yeah, what's that?" Turning with a wide smile, he flashed me the folder of our couple photos to me,

"Wanna let me introduce you to the fans? Hey, if it's any constellation, if there's a negative comment, the fans'll just rip-"

"Yes Tom," he found my eyes again, his lashes fluttering, "yes you can post a few photos. Maybe it'll be a nice, fresh change up from you and Harrison with the dumb shit you post." He tsked,

"Ahh, now that's just rude. Now I don't know if I wanna share anything about you you meanie." I giggled as he sat back on the edge of the bed. Throwing my legs around him, I laid my chin on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his middle and watching him type away and post his photos. With a skip of my heart, and a little blue loading bar, Tom straightened up and sighed through his nose, our photos appearing before us amongst his friends' and family's photos and instantly blowing up,

"Alright world... meet my girl."

[sporadic-writer]

Mrs. All American pt. 3

Harrison x Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol and partying, but that’s about it

Also this may be considered long.. Idk I just wanted to write and kept going.

Summary: the three of you prep for the party.

Yeah that’s a boring summary but it’s all I got ok?

Part 1 here! Part 2 here!

°••°••°••°••°••°••°

It was around 11:45 in the morning. Tom and Harrison were hanging out in Tom's kitchen while he made some lunch. Both men had been up for a couple of hours. You however, had yet to emerge from your room.

"Should we wake her up? It's almost 12." Harrison looked to the direction of your room then back to Tom who simply shook his head no.

"Nah she usually wakes up between 10 and 1. Broad range but it's how she is. I will guess though that she will be up soon." He wiped his hands off of crumbs and looked at his sandwich. "Man I could be a chef. This looks amazing."

"Mate, last time you made soup you burnt the fucking pot so badly you had to throw it out."

Rolling his eyes he replied. "Yeah but no heat involved this time so all is good." He turned to clean up and get a drink and failed to see you come up to the island.

You smirked and made a shush motion to Harrison. Quietly, you grabbed the plate and moved to sit next to Harrison. Then you grabbed half of the sandwich and took a bite. It was around then that Tom turned around and noticed you.

"Hey sleeping beauty made it up before 12. Proud of you!" He seemed to take no notice of the theft that took place. Grabbing his cup he took a sip and turned back around. You suppressed a laugh along with Harrison. Then he turned back around and went to grab where his plate was. He stopped as you were on your second bite. Confused, he looked around and then his eyes met yours. While chewing you maintained eye contact. "You bitch! Give that back!" He leaned over and snatched the plate. At this point everyone was laughing.

"Dude that didn't even click right away for you. I got 2 bites deep. Tasty by the way."

"I made that myself. You don't deserve it!" You noticed the purpose and guard he had while eating. You simply laughed more. While sitting you felt Harrison's hand on your back and heard him speak up.

"Let him have it love. It apparently is a major accomplishment in his life that he performed a basic life skill." Tom flipped his friend off and you slipped off the chair. Moving around the island you brushed your hand on Harrison's arm, mentally noting how strong he felt. You were a sucker for nice arms and good abs and Harrison was the jackpot for both in your eyes. The abs were yet to be seen, but you knew. Call it female intuition.

"Tom, not being able to cook just confirms the privileged actor stereotype. Don't let the haters be right. Now where do you keep your pans. I'm makin’ eggs." He told you were they were and you began preparing your breakfast.

With your back turned you didn't see a set of blue eyes look at you fondly. However, your ears heard him speak to you. "You know how to cook?" He saw you nod yes. "Lovely! Now teach Tom here. You really are just light years ahead of him."

"Oh I am. Speaking of being better than you! When do you want to do that rematch boy?" You looked at him, away from your pan of scrambling eggs. Although, Harrison was in the dark.

Tom scoffed. "We can do it whenever you want. You won on because of lag and I still call bullshit."

"Anyone want to fill me in?" Harrison felt the slightest ping of jealousy that you and Tom had inside jokes and stories. He knew that you knew him longer and all that. But he pushed it down. After all, you weren't kissing Tom on the couch last night.

Your voice brought him back to reality. "He and I played a series of Call of Duty: World War 2 games and I won overall and he got pissy. He also claims I only won because of lag on his end. I say he's a sore loser." As you finished your sentence you plated your eggs and stuck your tongue out. Then you sat back down next to Harrison.

"When you're done I'm kicking your ass." In a condescending manner, you nodded your head to play along. You sat and ate your eggs while he finished his sandwich.

Eventually both of you finished your food and Tom dragged you to the couch and turned on the TV.

"Can we use the Xbox? I'm trash on Playstation."

He groaned. "Fine. Either way I'll win. But we play a few public rounds to warm up and then I pick the first style of game we play."

"Whatever. Neither of us has played in a hot minute so let's see how this goes." You cracked your knuckles and the 3rd person in the room simply watched in amusement. Plus, he thought it was kind of attractive you knew how to play video games. You were cool as hell, played video games, and could cook. He found the most well rounded girl in the world. He watched both of you play some team deathmatch and he had to admit, you weren't horrible. You knew what you were doing and held your own.

Tom left the lobby and you looked at him. "Ok I've gone positive the whole time. So I am either set or it's all downhill from here. How about instead of 1v1 we just see who does better each round of a public game? 1v1 is boring."

"Fine but I'm picking the first game." His voice got sly and he smirked. You watched in fear as he selected your worst game mode. "Get fucked Y/N."

"Noo can't we just play regular team deathmatch or like kill confirmed? People kick my ass in any hardcore mode."

The non-player spoke up to settle everything. "Just play free for all and whoever is higher is better. Duh."

You and Tom looked at each other and agreed. Then you made your classes and played for a while. Harrison tried to make a joke about you only using SMGs and like 1 assault rifle. All you did was respond with a “careful Harrison” in a warning tone and he backed down while laughing. In the end, Tom came out better than you by 2 games. Once Tom got his moment of being a sore winner out of his system you asked the boys how the party was going to happen. Harrison spoke first.

“I say we go to the liquor store first. I want to see the guys face of us buying so much shit before 2 pm.” He came up behind you on the couch. You leaned your head back and smiled up at the blue eyes above you. He winked at you in a flirty manner.

Picking your head back up you looked to Tom. “Now Tom, not to be a smart ass,” he scoffed, “shut it. But will people say something about you running into a liquor store then buying a ton?” You looked at him and he went into thought.

“I guess it wouldn’t look great for someone through Disney to clean them out. But take my card when you go. I will get food and some stuff. That way it looks fine. Plus, we can still get trashed.” Everyone agreed with that plan. “Ok so Haz you and Y/N go get the booze, enough to make all our livers cry, and I will get other stuff. Meet back here.”

So you and Harrison went off to the store after you changed into some shorts. Luckily, booze was a generally understood and universal concept. Everything was sorted out as usual, but this time there was a few different European selections, and an American section.

“So what do you want? Tom made the mistake of leaving us his card, so we can get top shelf stuff.” Harrison looked to you with mischief in his eyes. You liked it, but the good friend in you told him no need to go crazy.

Walking towards the vodka, grabbing some schnapps, you turned to scold him. “I am not taking advantage of my rich friend. I will get some stuff on my own. But I don’t see the harm in the bulk coming from him. Nothing crazy though, we get a lot and get make sure we get drunker than a French skunk. Put down the Everclear! I did that my freshman year and don’t remember a thing past the second shot.”

“That’s impressive! But fine at least grab the Ciroc and that kind of nice stuff. If we are going all out for this then we are doing it right. No protests! You only party in London once love.” He grabbed some various vodka bottles and you got a couple other varieties of rum, whisky, and some silver tequila. Between you both you looked like you could restock the busiest pub in town.

As you were walking out of the store you asked him, “Hey wait. Who all is coming to this tonight anyway? I only know you, Tom, and his family.”

“Uh I think the twins, some of his Marvel friends, and some of our friends along with co-stars.” He spoke as if it was a normal thing to casual get trashed with celebrities. However, you stopped right at the car.

“I’m sorry did you say Marvel people and co-stars?! Like it’s nothing? I can’t meet famous people! And I for sure can’t get trashed in front of them.” You looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

The bafflement on his face was clear. “Why not? You know Tom. They are normal people. It’ll be fine. We don’t hate your presence, neither will they. And they don’t care if you get drunk. I have seen plenty of Tom’s Marvel co-stars get very drunk. The co-stars are around our age it’s fine.” His words made you feel a little better, but the nerves were there regardless. Both of you drove back and carried everything into Tom’s apartment. He turned to you both as you came in.

“Awesome you’re back. The food, pizza mainly, is ordered and will be here on time. People will start showing up around 7 I think.” You nodded. That gave you plenty of time to get ready. Since celebs were going to be there, you wanted to look your best. Tom spoke again and snapped you out of your planning. “I say we be ready by 6 or half past and pregame just us."

"Works for me. I am going to make a drink myself to sip on while I get ready."

"Y/N you literally have like 3 hours." The boys looked at you like you were crazy.

"True. But I like getting ready early so it can settle and I am not rushed. I like to take my time. Don't worry I'll be ready before 6." You made a vodka cranberry and walked off to start your process. Admitting it to no one, you were excited to get ready. This kind of stuff was fun, you got in the zone and did your thing. Eventually, you found yourself in a towel trying to work the shower. Every time you use a new shower, it’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube. You sighed and gave up hope.

From the main room the boys heard you yell that you can’t work the shower. Both looked at each other after. Tom smirked and looked back to his phone. “You go. I know you want to.” When Harrison didn’t move he spoke again. “What are you waiting for?! A hot girl is waiting in a towel. Have you ever seen American Pie?”

“Shut it mate. You’re an idiot.” He got up and started walking towards where you called from.

From the couch the actor mumbled, “At least I didn’t freeze when a girl called needing help with the shower.”

You heard the knock at the door and said come in. Expecting Tom, you smiled when Harrison walked in instead. “Sorry.. I just don’t know how to get the water started.”

“It’s fine love.” You thought it was cute how he was trying, trying, to look anywhere but you. What a gentleman you thought. The smile on your face and the blush on his was adorable.

“Harrison, you’re allowed to look at me. It’s a towel, not the direct blaze of the sun.” His blue eyes met your e/c ones and he smiled faintly at you.

Turning the water on then scratching the back on his neck he smiled again and said, “Sorry, I just didn’t want to be rude.”

He started walking out and you said it’s totally fine and that you didn’t mind. As he shut the door you thanked him and slipped in. Music playing and you singing along put you in a good mood. Taking your time, you enjoyed the hot water with your nice travel products. Plus,Tom had a nice shower.

Soon your shower was done and you slipped out to your room. Keeping the towel on you put on some lotion, brushed your hair, put in some product, and sat down to begin your makeup. This didn’t take long, it was just that you took your time to get it right. You kept YouTube music and videos playing. Hair drying, drink being drank, and makeup looking on point made you feel damn good. It’s like Iiza Shlesinger said, ‘You know when you look hot.’ Your clothes weren’t even on and you felt great. The nerves of famous people being around lessened. You were relaxed. Next thing you did was drop the towel and put your outfit on. Luckily, you asked Tom what kind of a party this was going to be. He told you to dress like you were going to a casual club with your friends; so a simple but sexy outfit. No need to dress for a popular club in LA or New York, but not jeans or basic stuff. This was more than your college parties so you put your simple black dress. It was the kind that could be worn at a party, a cocktail dinner, or even a funeral (not to be morbid, but to note that it is still formal and not too slutty) it just mattered how you worked it. Zipping it up, you grabbed your black platforms and stood up. Unlike most girls, you liked wearing heels. Yes, they hurt by the end of the night but it was fine. Not to mention, at school you didn’t wear them out too much since you would walk back around outside more. That and you were typically lit when you did. Friends leaning on each other were no held if they were just as gone. But not tonight! For the finishing touches you swapped out a couple rings, put on your leather and Alex and Ani bracelets, and your earrings and necklace. Doing one final look over in the mirror, you were satisfied. The time read 5:38. Perfect. Spraying some perfume on, you went to see what the boys were doing.

Walking out you heard the microwave go off and smelled popcorn. You noticed Tom was in a nicer shirt and shoes. Harrison changed as well into some more appropriate clothes. His jeans were darker and his red shirt looked good in contrast to his light hair, which was brushed and styled a little. As Tom turned with the popcorn, he heard the clack of your heels as you approached and leaned on the island. He whistled lightly, you blushed and smiled, and Harrison looked up and his jaw dropped. Never before had you made a man’s jaw drop and it simply added to your confidence. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I am ready to party.” Your eyes lingered on Harrison and the corner of your lips turned up. You finished your drink and took a grab at the popcorn. Tom made you a new one while Harrison kept his eyes on you. He took in how you looked more dressed up compared to your cute and casual looks from before. In his mind, you looked sexy. No doubt about it.

Despite his mind being rattled, “Y/N you look great,” is all he managed to get out.

Tom nodded and set out three shot glasses. “I gotta agree. On vacation you never dressed like this.”

“Well that was me in high school. An awkward dork who didn’t do this stuff that often. Let alone know how to do it well. But I have a few years of college under my belt. You haven’t seen me in action Tom.” The shot glasses were filled with Ciroc. You all cheered and downed the shots. When you didn’t wince, both became impressed. Even they coughed or cringed a bit. You grabbed another. You could hold you liquor quite well and knew a couple shots to start would be fine until later tonight. After downing the second easily you walked over to Harrison and put your hand on his shoulder. His arm went to your waist.

From the other side of the island Tom just looked at your shot glass, back to you, smiled and said, “Shit. This is gonna be a great night.”

°••°••°••°••°••°••°

Next chapter will be the party. Sorry if this wasn’t enough Harrison and stuff, you don’t like the swearing, or the booze was something you didn’t like.. Also, this may be boring to you. Idk I like the “domestic” and simple writing sometimes. Nice filler and fun is always good.

As always, I hope those who read liked it. Feel free to comment, like, and reblog!

[calypsoff]

Sixty Nine.

I think it’s taken me at least two days to recover from such an event, I have been such a mess. I can personally say that I felt terrible but also it was a good night, I am just catching up on everything. Like I can Google search my name and I have headlines about my birthday, I mean some are clowning at me crying, but jealous niggas do that, and it is annoying me. I am just looking at Dennis’ page, he posted a few pictures of the event, it’s nice what he put about me, but I think I am going to just snap on jealous niggas because I can’t be dealing thinking they can clown me, jealous motherfuckers like her ex’s like why are you checking for me, I ain’t checking for you but you there writing lines about me on social media, it’s weak. I really haven’t had the chance to actually speak to Robyn properly and actually say to her what she has done for me, I am just recovering. I know for a fact I haven’t ever drank like that in my life, I am missing hours of my life that I don’t remember. Pressing record as I stared at myself in the in the camera “I look rough, I need a shave” clearing my throat looking up at Rajad walking into the kitchen “I just want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, as you know I had a very good night. It’s late but I just want to say thank you to everyone, I seen the birthday wishes just now because I am of course just catching up, feel rough still” I sighed out “I just thought I would do a video instead of just typing it out, I don’t do social media beef. You got an issue we can deal with it personally, just like I did before. I seen niggas clowning me, but I don’t care, I cried because I appreciate what my wife did and y’all can call me a bitch nigga, but she went above and beyond and I love her, she is my other half. Niggas don’t know what love is and it shows but a certain nigga, I see you and I ain’t scared to beat ya ass again” stopping the video just before Robyn walked in, I pressed send to put it onto my IG story.

Robyn sniggered at me “are you with us now? I can’t believe how long you been in bed for, baby two whole days?!” locking my phone and placing it on the counter, moving away from the counter “wow, I was a mess Robyn. I don’t drink like that, I don’t. Weed and booze, it was just. It took me out but man, I am just catching up with everything” shuffling towards Robyn, pecking her lips before hugging her close “oh my god, I just feel like I have missed out so much for those days. Thank you for taking care of me too” squeezing Robyn close “love you” Robyn cooed out “it’s ok, I know you was unwell but I am glad you’re with us” moving back from the hug “I have so much to thank you for, after you left everything was a blur, I do remember when I was dancing with Drake actually but then I was out” sitting on top of the counter “I am glad you’re ok, to see you in such a happy place Chris, I love to see it. I am so glad that the party was great, people keep talking about it” nodding my head “you got me so good Robyn, just thinking about it now I am emotional again. All of your family too, like Mel and Noella buying me a personal plate, like what? That is crazy, I feel like I am celebrating my twenty first again, it’s wild. It’s made up for every birthday I missed, I can’t thank you enough. I appreciate you Robyn and I got a little something, I may have been dying in bed, but I been planning, my family are coming to the home” Robyn’ eyes widened “erm, the home is a mess Chris. You didn’t say the in laws are coming” shaking my head “don’t worry about it, just that I called, and I said for them to wait another day and to come here. I appreciate you so much” Robyn stood between my legs, wrapping my arms around her “I love you so much, man. I can’t even” placing my hands over her bump “you and my daughter” Robyn gasped “you! Actually, you been talking too much when drunk, Rajad knows now. Everyone actually knows” I cringed “I am sorry, I didn’t know” she is unhappy, let me quickly start massaging her shoulders.

I am here massaging Robyn’ shoulders trying to calm her ass down, just because I know for a fact Robyn is very mad with me, I didn’t do this shit on purpose, so she needs to understand this “I just want to spend time with you, my family are leaving tomorrow too. I just think we haven’t had us time so take me away somewhere” nodding my head “I got you” kissing the back of her head “I am glad we are not having a boy, Camron kept trying to touch his dick and I was like no sir. This boy just wanted to keep touching it so honestly I am glad it isn’t” I snorted laughing “that shit don’t stop, you know how much I play with mine” I really want a son now, I need one in my life to be just like me “I think they are here” the buzzer went off “I swear I feel a mess Chris, you could have told me” Robyn moved away from me, jumping off the counter and making my way to the door. Majesty is a pest, she is always running out of the living room, these crawling babies is not it “hey, little brat” jogging over to her, picking her up and making my way to the front door Unlocking the door, oh I didn’t open the gate. Going back inside, pushing the button to open the gate. Placing my feet in the slides “hey, hey. Young lady, stop the slapping” I chuckled, shuffling outside “we were waiting for so long” my mother poked her head around and walking over to me “aww my baby boy” walking over to them “hey mom, welcome to my home” hugging my mom “son, this is amazing. Oh wow, this is very Hollywood” my dad has his glasses on, so he is really going to check every part of the home, he is in-expecting the home.

My family are so amazed by the home, this is just outside “come in, come” Majesty wrapped her arms around my neck, she is so precious “I am shocked, like this home is amazing Chris. Now I know why you love it here so much” walking back inside, Robyn side eyed me “why are you annoyed with me? You’re so annoying” I laughed at her “shut up, hey my beautiful mother in law. Look at you! The tan, you been out in the sun” I am glad I caught Robyn off guard “the family is here” Rorrey came out of the office, he has been using it, I told him to try and make his own little something for himself for my clothing line, I am open to ideas “hi boss” Rorrey shook my dad’ hand “the family is here, you never said” everyone seems annoyed I never said, maybe they wanted to make a good entrance “sis, the only person that annoys me is Chris” Robyn said to Tootie “he didn’t say anything, I have not cooked a thing. I feel so bad, your first time here and I have done nothing” I grinned “Robyn, I know your pain. He is an ass” rolling my eyes, they all mad now.

These ladies are mad “like I know y’all are mad but come on, I come in peace and honestly when you hear why, you will all love me” Robyn mean mugged me “what it is, this is the first time my mother in law has come to the home so I wanted to make an good impression but instead she has come and I look a mess, the home is a mess, I have made no food for them. It’s their first time here Chris do you not get that” I laughed a little “I do but baby my mom doesn’t mind, you’re beautiful anyways but hear me out. It’s Mother’s Day coming up so I did something nice for you all, I have the SUV coming and he taking you to a spa, all of you. I hired it out for you ladies, I will take care of Majesty and Desean, this is y’all time to have just some peace and quiet and after I am paying for the meal at Robyn’ favourite place, this is on me. Mom, Tootie, Monica, Noella and Robyn. My beautiful mother to be, Happy Mother’s Day, now can we stop the hate train” they all look pleased “really baby, oh my god. That sounds so much fun” my mom said “yeah, y’all can bitch about me there but I hired the whole place, Robyn can get the wax she needs” I snorted laughing “shut up!” she spat, her coochie need it cause she ain’t doing it “Happy Mother’s Day ladies” I grinned, Monica cooed out “he is a good man, thank you Chris” I grinned feeling so proud of myself.

I am super proud of myself “I love you” feeling a pair of arms around my torso “oh now you saying it” turning around in Robyn’ arms “you know I do, I just like to impress my guests Chris that is all. But baby that is so sweet, so you did all of that while you was in bed and I was slaving away” nodding my head “I sorted it all out for you, I want you to relax ok?” pecking Robyn’ lips “thank you and you ass, talking about wax. I want you to do it for me, how about that?” I snorted laughing “I will, if you want me too? Not in a bad way, I thought you may want to, you know. Feel fresh” wrapping my arms around Robyn “mhmm I will let you off mister thoughtful, that is the sweetest. I get to spend time with both of the momma’s too, I think I need it after the stress of someone” I chuckled “I wonder who that is” I sniggered “also I may just tell them about the gender, it’s just silly now because you ruined that part. And then Rajad will end up letting it slip so yeah, I will just tell them, or we both can later?” nodding my head “yeah for sure we can, I am so sorry about that” I feel bad that I did it “I am so excited about it, I am really you know, I didn’t mean it in a bad way” Robyn sighed out “I know, this is why I am not that mad” she is the cutest.

Placing my arm around my nephew, he is loving it being at the house “how has school been anyways? You are being good there, you know my sister will tell me if you ain’t” the home is actually so much calmer without the women here, they are always causing some type of drama over nothing “I am being good, people want to be my friend now. I told mom because they didn’t want to talk to me, but they are now, mom said they are fake. Everyone is asking me to get an autograph form Rihanna and I said no and then the boy called me a fake nigga for it, and I can’t be your nephew” frowning “Desean don’t let nobody tell you different, fuck them. They are jealous because us as a family are ok, they are haters, and you remember that. Those people that want to be friends you now and didn’t before are fake, don’t let that shit happen to you. You know I got you when you want to talk” kids are nasty as hell “I know I am just concentrating on Football and keeping myself lowkey, it doesn’t really upset me because I am winning. Rihanna is amazing” I breathed out laughing “she is” I agreed with my nephew.

The ladies came back looking refreshed, we just finished eating, I bought the boys pizza. Robyn is glowing even more “you good?” Robyn placed her hand on my shoulder and leaned down “I want a word with you” I frowned instantly, what did I do “come, we will be back” Robyn walked off, what the hell even happen “Chris, thank you so much for that. I feel so refreshed” getting up from the chair nodding my head “it’s ok” following Robyn, I am raking my brain just thinking what have I done. We just went into the corner “I seen your little video on IG, why react Chris that is what he wants, and they want” I shrugged not caring “you just want me to accept it, I will knock his ass out again. I don’t care, laughing that I cried. I am just saying that what is wrong with me crying? Because I appreciate what you have done for me, he is a pussy ass nigga!” I spat “and I just think, I am not saying what you said is wrong but don’t let him or anyone get to you, ok? So what if you cried, you appreciate me” I sighed out “I do, but if he wants to start then we can you know” I shrugged, I don’t even care who says what but it’s him that I hate.

Seeing as I ruined the secret between her family, Robyn feels like she has to say it because it’s pretty much only her mother that doesn’t know in her side so we might as well say it “we have a little announcement, well I do anyways because Chris has a big mouth” placing my arm around Robyn laughing, I can’t even front it is my fault “you already married so what next? Twins?” My dad jokes “how you know?” I said “really!?” my dad spat “see, I got you there but yeah. Robyn got this because I been just ruining her little thing” I am going to let Robyn say her thing “yeah, I am not angry at him but I feel it is unfair, but can we just keep it in this room for now, if we can try. We all are a gossips aren’t we but yeah, so we. Chris and I, we found out the gender together” Robyn lied, I put my head down because I know I didn’t, I wasn’t there “and it’s very exciting because honestly I am over the moon, so is Chris with his big mouth. We are having a baby girl!” Robyn yelped out “granddaughter!?” my dad shouted, all my dad is doing is shouting shit “yes dad” I laughed, my dad shot up smiling “I am so happy for you, oh my god!” my dad is excited as hell “awww mom don’t cry” Robyn said, the family is so emotional.

[margoism]

"No Nubs Land" Sometime in March 2018, a good friend of mine finally got me to download and play the game. Imagine, he kept pestering me eversince it was available in the apps store. My sorry excuse was that I have retired from online gaming (the original Ragnarok Ph, Iris Server, MacWorld Clan guild) and I am done with playing among kiddie trashtalkers plus my introvert self is quite content with self-paced playing on the PS4 - no human interaction needed: just me, my tv, the PS4, and well...because I am quite "senti" and perhaps "kuripot", reruns of Skyrim, Fallout 4, and Persona 5. Anyway! As soon as the Mobile Legends icon appeared on my phone, he and his sister (we were together the night) gave me a quick run down of how things work and I kid you not...it was so fast that I don't even remember taking the tutorial, hahaha! This was then followed by tons of brawling (dayum, click everything! swear like a sailor in real life! Run away!) until they decided we can play Classic. I don't remember much about my first game but since I used to play a priest, I had my first noob experience: Rafaela (for some stupid reason, I keep calling her Angela...must be the wings, dammit) was my thing. Stupidly. Yes, good thing there is healing for everyone. I'd eventually graduate loving Estes but that is another story. ...even before 24 hours that I had been introduced, I forgot I own a PS4. So it has been almost 2 months now since I started and so far, depending on how a game goes, I am a noob/nub or just that ordinary player who randomly joined a game of brawl or classic...and occassionally rank. From my experience, people are so critical of new players during the game itself but when you have a friend who also plays, they tell you that it is fine to play even if you know nothing (then go berserk when they have a noob/nub on their team in a non-rank game) and even recommend not to read the chat. Just play, they said. But the again, the chat drama can sometimes be entertaining though I don't get the point of trashtalking your own team mate/s. For me, it's a sign that that asshole doesn't have any leadership skills or is having a bad day and decided to pour it out on some poor soul having a bad play day (it could be lag, a newbie, a new hero, etc). Oh, one time, a tank dude tried to tell me I was being a noob for staying in the mid lane because I wasn't helping out at a heavily ganked area (I was Lesley). Politely, he told me (towards the end) that he wasn't just saying it to sound like a dick. Hey, happy to learn mehn, I actually thanked him and experienced my other noob/nub thing: chatting while playing. It kills. On the other hand, sometimes some things can just be annoying regardless of gamer status. I once played a classic game and our Estes would not actually heal anyone...if he ever did, it was as if he accidently clicked on the first skill. I jokingly asked if he has no heal but he just stood there silent and casted his 2nd skill for the nth time. Healing for everyone mehn! I played Estes in my first rank season and the problem of being him or Rafaela is, players tend to depend on you heavily, forgetting that they have great heroes who can actually survive/hack/slash/kill/magic their way to the enemy base/throne. I mean, people...support characters have cool down time too. Don't trashtalk them if you died because of your own miscalculation or if the support chose to preserve him/herself. They aren't exactly tanks (though let's not count Minotaur or Angela here). Speaking of ill manners ingame, while jesting and jeering may be part of the game, sometimes it is just too much but the report button does not have an option to choose "person is a being jerk" or "harassment/bullying" or "unruly behavior" - the nearest choice would be "using profanity" which they aren't really doing. It is easy to say it can be ignored but I guess, being old and all, it just kills the mood and group dynamics. Which brings me to the last thingy on my first Mobile Legends post in this really old and neglected acct (I was on Tumlr when tumblarity was a thing) - so just last night I learned I can buy heroes using the BP card. I have 3k of it and a friend helped me buy heroes as he showed me how to use them, hahaha. Before that, I was telling him how fascinating Alucard was because it was the recurring hero that loves to kill me (not sure if he is just commonly used) to the point I used his trial card in AI play. Poor noob/nub me, thinking life was that simple played one classic game using him. It was my shortest classic game ever; my team mates called me names and conceded defeat before 5 minutes. I would learn some hours later that he was actually pretty tricky to play, much to my embarassment. Oh well, I told my friend, I would have to content myself with using him only on AI play and trial cards. In jest, he converted some of my BP points to buy Alucard then accidentally shared it on my FB on "friends only" post. So now the image above is the horrifying truth that I have a hero I am afraid to use (I don't like frontline heroes) and omg, an image visible among my fb friends. ..on the other hand, they say that he ranks as #1 on a list of 10 handsome heroes in the game. Whoopie. For me, the most handsome hero is Guisson (?) and Alucard would probably come 3rd but then again, I can't think of a 2nd. Lancelot has lotsa haters but then being an Odette player, I actually ship them...for as long as I don't hear "Experience the handsome" (I pray he gets an image makeover or a really normal, long haired man skin), he can probably be the 3rd...but summer skin Clint is handsome so dammit, rank down. I am noob/nub is realz.

[paniccord-ff]

51.

Closing the dishwasher door “Roro, I hope you haven’t made a mess with toys” grabbing the towel from the side “it is so weird to see my daughter pregnant” my dad said, rolling my eyes at him “you keep saying this, do I look really big?” my parents have come here with Kyrie because I kept crying down the phone, I am so scared to give birth. I know I have like ten weeks left but I am just scared. My mom said she wants to be here for me so she came to support me “Kyrie, what I tell you about letting those dogs out? I told you and Royalty no and what you do? She is going day care and guess who is left here?” I have become so grumpy recently, I hate mess because then I am left cleaning “me?” he pointed at himself “yes, go and clean now and you” pointing at Royalty “come here” she smiled at me like I would let her get away with anything “dad can you take Roro to get her things? Just her backpack and shoes” I need to check if Chris is awake “sure, come on little lady” Royalty clapped running inside “Kyrie seriously, if you don’t clean I will tell Chris you hit the basketball on his car” Kyrie’ face dropped and soon ran to clean his things.

I know I mentioned to Chris about birthing classes, I mean if he doesn’t want to come then it’s fine but I will be so upset. My mom suggested it to help me, I am just so scared to push a whole baby out of me. I didn’t think I would be like this, I didn’t think I would have had a baby so this is a surprise. Either way Chris needs to wake up and take Royalty to day care while I go to the class on my own, I am even more upset with Chris that he is creating an album which means a tour and that means me alone, I am so not happy. The baby room is kind of done, it’s just in boxes in his room “Chris, wake up” picking his boxers from the floor “come on!” I spat, making my way to the bathroom “you better be awake when I get out of the bathroom!” I spat, I don’t know what he was doing last night but the bathroom was a mess of water. I think he had a bath I guess, I am not sure. Throwing his boxers in the hamper “Chris!” I shouted, “I’m awake!” he yelped back, I am glad he is.

Making my way to the bed “why was there a mess of water in the bathroom? I got my feet wet” I don’t want to grill him about it but I need to know “what you mean?” he moved onto his back “the bathroom, water was on the floor” I repeated myself “mhmmmm” he closed his eyes “I got a drink thrown at me” he slurred out “what? Why?” frowning down at Chris “haters, I don’t know. People hate me for being good, I had a bath and” his eyes fluttered open “I just got mad, I couldn’t lash out and some bitch threw it. My bodyguard was too late, I punched the wall behind the bathroom door. I was going to clean the mess but I came bed instead because I think I woke your dad up, I was pretty loud with the bang. My hand hurt and I couldn’t do it” feeling a hint of hurt for him “niggas are angry at me, I have my life together. I don’t fuck with Lo, Hood, restraining order on Nia, I don’t fuck with hood niggas” he counted on his fingers and then I noticed his hand “why didn’t you wake me? I told you that I don’t want you out late anymore. People are trying to trigger you by doing this, they hate that you are not being this bad guy. I am glad you lashed out here, you should have woken me up though. You’re learning not to show anybody how you feel, come on. Let’s look at your hand” I swear I am so stupid, I just don’t even think nothing of it.

Why didn’t I notice the wall, what is wrong with me. I feel so stupid, honestly “I can’t believe at times” I jumped at the fact Chris is right behind me, I thought he was in bed still “you know, that I have a woman like you Rylee. If that was any other woman they would have popped off on me, you never really do. I am just blessed babe” I cooed out “stop it, I will only beat yo ass if you cheat. You’re just misunderstood, you have built a persona that people love to see, that gangbanger that doesn’t see his daughter and pays for people to party. To drink lean, to be so high that you can’t think. They wanted to see you fail” why is my baby looking emotional “what’s wrong Chris? Did something else happen?” he placed his head on my shoulder “I am just hurting” he sobbed out “talk to me” placing my arm around his neck “people want to see me fail and they would have loved to see me on the floor dead” either he is not telling me the full story or it’s his time of the month “you want to tell me the full story? Don’t use my shoulder to cry on if you about to straight lie to me” Chris moved his head back.

We have gone weeks without trouble, honestly. Chris and I keep ourselves distant. I don’t like him out late because it’s like people want him to be bad “I told you someone threw a drink at me, it was one of Nia’ friends I think. Her pops is out of jail, seems like I have the Latin mafia after me. I don’t care but I get angry, people make me look stupid. It’s like I couldn’t do anything, I knew if I lashed out then I would be the bad guy. I had to think, it’s hard but I did it. I am still angry as shit, I be stressed as shit. I can’t even go out anymore, my mind be everywhere” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes “not at you, come here. Let me see your hand, I am just annoyed. People see you as a target all the time” walking to the bathroom sink, Chris lifted his hand. Lightly holding his hand “your knuckle looks very sore but does it hurt?” Chris shook his head “ok, you know I am going birthing class now?” looking up at him “yeah I know, I am coming” he remembered “but I thought you wouldn’t have?” Chris grinned at me “I know I said no but that don’t mean I wouldn’t have come, I know you scared. Shit, I am scared too but I will come” I feel so much better now.

Royalty is late for day care but I just wanted Chris ok “what do we do if we leave the house?” my dad questioned “then you don’t, just please stay indoors” my dad out here wanting to explore “did you wake up last night?” asking my dad “I did, I heard some walking around and banging doors. I just checked in the hallway and I could only assume it was Chris because the light looked on in your room” how can I be that asleep, I must have been tired “ok” I am annoyed I didn’t wake up “shall we go now?” Chris announced “good morning son” here my dad goes “calling Chris son don’t mean you can talk yourself into going out late again, tell him mom” walking off “Rylee, if your dad wants to come out and hang with me he can” pulling a face grabbing my handbag “mom, would you like to speak up” I know she has some words for him “I would baby but I love to see your dad looking all young” is my mom serious “thanks mom, the support was great” let me leave “come on trouble” holding my hand out to Royalty.

I am driving us because Chris’ hand hurts, I don’t know how he drove back last night. He wanted me to drive the Bentley but I am more comfortable with the Range even though I struggled to get my ass up on the seat, grabbing my phone sitting back in my seat. I didn’t even notice the missed calls from Maria, let me call her back. I just left my phone in my bag without checking, I should check because I know she is ready to give birth. Pressing my phone to my ear, smiling at Chris as he walked back to the car after dropping Royalty off “hello” oh this is not Maria “hi?” I am so confused, who is this “I am Maria mom, she said to answer your call. My daughter is having the baby, any minute now he will be here” I gasped “oh my god, can you text me the room please? I will come after a couple of hours, oh my god I am so excited for her. Thank you” Maria is having her baby.

Placing my phone down “who is it?” Chris asked “Maria is having the baby, we need to go and get her things” Chris pulled a face “I don’t need to go do I?” nodding my head “you are so right Chris, you do need to go” he groaned out “today we are spending lots of time together, just me and you” smiling wide at Chris, he sighed out smiling “see, look at that smile. You’re happy that you are” pressing my finger into his cheek as he moved over to me “and Peanut” Chris placed his hand on my stomach “Peanut is here too, he knows when you forget him” Chris is so dramatic “I don’t forget him Chris, he kicks me every night and makes sure I know he is there” no wonder I be tired “good boy, let your mom know who’s boss” pushing Chris’ hand away “I am the boss of you and him! You better stop before I call him Rodger” Chris thinks I am joking I will call him Rodger “I rather call him Peanut, why you playing for?” side eyeing Chris, I am the boss so he better accept that.

I wish there wasn’t any traffic, this is so annoying “why would you want to call it Rodger? That is so stupid” Chris won’t drop it now “uhmmm because it’s a lovely name, it’s like. Why did your mom call you Christopher? That is so stupid” giggling aloud looking over at Chris “you right, I should have been called big dick, big dick brown. You know that I should have been, my dick has been long from birth” rolling my eyes “long and thin, reminds me of a pencil” I wish this traffic would move “oh wow, but you’re the same person telling me to be slow. Oh Chris, oh daddy please calm down” licking my lips trying to supress my laugh “shut up, annoying ass. We do need to think of names though” I have no idea what to call him “we will, you know though Rylee. You’re like my best friend, besides Mijo. I have you and honestly, I couldn’t have asked for a better person in my life, I enjoy your company. Can I ask though? Like don’t take me real, but I am just asking” driving the car slowly in this traffic “proceed” stopping behind the car, might as well get comfortable.

“If I cheated on you what would your reaction be like?” my head snapped in his direction “you trying to tell me something Christopher?” Chris shook his head smiling “hand on heart, I would be so heartbroken. I would probably beat you with something and just leave, I wouldn’t want to know you ever again. I would for my child’ sake, I would stay in LA and I wouldn’t make a drama out of it if you can see him, you can see him still but me and you are done with. Seriously Chris I will go crazy on you, I would look such a fool and I would hate myself because I couldn’t keep you or make you happy” I think I would end up hurting him “wow, really? Bitches be plotting to make my life hell” I shrugged “for what? What do I gain? I gain nothing, I would gain my child’ sadness and that he wants his father but you and I would be so done, I wouldn’t ever go near you, for my son I would bite the bullet and stay in LA. I see it with Royalty and it is so wrong, the child just wants love, not a broken home and I just don’t get it” feeling Chris’ arms around my shoulders “I would never cheat, I am so blessed with you. I love you” I cooed out smiling, I know he wouldn’t cheat just on how close he is with me.

I am not feeling this at all, the fuck do I do here. Birthing classes for what, I feel so lost right now. Banging the car door shut, I am spending some quality time with Rylee today. I am just going to stay away from people after that drink got thrown at me, I just need to keep clean and stay with my baby “is this place full of hormonal women?” pulling my hoodie down “uhhh I think so, I am not sure Chris. This is the first time, thank you for coming. I thought you wouldn’t have come with me, I just need the support, I need you more than ever with this. I am so damn scared” placing my arm around Rylee “I got you babe, trust me. I will do what I can for you” I know she is scared but I am scared also “thank you Chris, hold my water for me” she held out her bottle to me, moving my arm from around her and taking the bottle “be good you, don’t be stupid either” Rylee knows me, I am about to be laughing at this whole thing.

Licking my top lip seeing a room full of women cradling swollen stomach’s, I am so glad I came because these women have their men with them besides two. The class became ever so quiet, this is awkward “come” Rylee grabbed my hand and pulled me along to the single mat free towards the front of the class, we would be in the front. It is right next to a black couple, but these look like those posh black couples that think they white, we got another snobbish looking red-head resting on her husband, who was sitting behind her patiently supporting her back. I have no idea what to do with myself, I groaned out as I saw how close the mat was to the instructor, a middle-aged white woman. “come on in, come in! Have a seat, don't be shy!” the instructor gestured.

I smiled weakly, sitting down on the mat with my legs spread, I patted the mat in between me. I am just imitating what these are doing, I am so ready to be stupid. Rylee slowly sat down between my legs and gave me a look, resting her back against me. Placing my arms around Rylee “wear leggings more” I said into her ear, she nudged me away with a smile playing on her face. Pressing a kiss to her cheek “ok lovebirds, let’s get this class started” I didn’t know they was waiting for us “Welcome, parents to be! To the amazing miracle that is childbirth” the instructor announced, I wouldn’t say childbirth is amazing. Placing my hand on Rylee’ arm “my name is Molly, and I'm going to be guiding you through the next five classes in giving birth to your baby in a perfectly natural style” The instructor moved to stand directly in front of us, looking up at her “In these classes I am going to guide you through building confidence in yourself as an expectant mother to give birth to your little miracle, and how to cope with the pain in order to ensure you are comfortable while promoting your labour!” furrowing my eyebrows leaning forward to Rylee’ ear “why she acting like this shit is so calm?” I hissed “stop it” Rylee said in a whisper.

“First, let us begin with some breathing exercises. Ladies, prop yourselves up against your husbands or husbands to be! Make yourselves comfortable. Ensure that your back is straight, and give your diaphragm room to expand” licking my lips, Rylee can just twerk her ass on my crotch. There were loud shuffling sounds echoing around the room as numerous couple’s maneuverer themselves to get comfortable. I think I will get hard if Rylee keeps moving like this “Take a long deep breath through your nose” the instructor said while walking up and down between the couples. Looking around me, I feel like I am in the twilight zone “why do men need to breathe too? We ain’t giving birth” I don’t care, I will say it “it’s called support, your partner needs you. What she feels, you will feel too, when you created a baby together you created a bond” that is true, she sure shut my mouth up.

I still feel stupid, I am not breathing because I can breathe. These niggas in this room are dumb as fuck, shaking my head. Looking to the side of me seeing the snobbish-looking white woman scowling at us, a look that I definitely did not like “can you not be so negative?” the woman demanded “It's hard for me to concentrate on my breathing” is she real, I know she ain’t like us from the start “You're worried about breathing?” I chuckled loudly, turning towards the woman “Chris!” Rylee glared at me, I was so close to telling her to fuck off but I will stop “Be realistic. Once you're in the labour room bearing down to push a watermelon out of a hole the size of a pea no amount of breathing will help. And next time you want to call my man negative you come to me, thanks!” smiling at the back of Rylee’ head, she is really always there for me “can we remove these people?” is this bitch real “too ghetto for you huh?” I said “you ain’t say shit to the black dude at the side of me but you ain’t like us? We ain’t going anywhere” I spat “the only thing negative was how her man was looking at me” Rylee blurted out “huh?” did I hear right “nothing, be quiet now, just stop” glaring at the dude, the white dude just swallowed mad hard “please for me, just don’t say and do anything. For me” Let me just be good.

[mollyshaj]

35.

Mariah

Walking out of the courtroom Tristan and I were all smiles, happy all of this bullshit was finally over. Today we were granted full custody of Damien, his mother couldn’t come near him unless she had Tristan’s permission. Her visitation was two Saturdays of every month and that was only if he wanted to go.

“We’re celebrating tonight.” Tristan told me as we walked down the hall.

We were about to make our way outside when Carmen outside yelling like a damn banshee. I wanted to turn around and cuss her ass out but I just left it alone. Plus Tristan damn near started dragging me when she started that shit. He already knew what it was and what was going to go down if she got anywhere near me and that can’t happen in a courthouse especially when I’m pregnant.

When we got in the car he looked at me while shaking his head. “Don’t shake your head at me like that. I didn’t do anything.”

“I’m not shaking my head at you, I was doing it because of that bitch. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with her ass.”

“I’m with you on that one. Oh well, what you wanna do tonight since you wanna celebrate this shit.” I chuckled. Tristan is the only asshole that would celebrate some shit like this.

“I wanna barbecue; we’re going to do that. You had me buy that expensive ass grill and shit. We’re using that shit tonight.”

“Cool with me, I hope you don’t plan on telling Damien you’re having a damn cookout because he’s not with his mother anymore.”

“No, I mean I am happy I don’t have to deal with her like that but this is about a new beginning baby. We have custody of him; we’re married, got my little nigga on the way. We’re good, I’m trying to celebrate that shit.”

“Mhm yeah okay just two things.”

“What?”

“I need to go food shopping and I need to go by my store so I can do the deposit and everything tonight. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and I don’t feel like waiting.”

“So you want me to drive you around to do it?’

“Nah I can handle it by myself. Just get us home so I can change clothes. What do you want at this damn barbecue of yours?”

“I’ll write you a list.” He smirked at me. I already knew that meant he was about to be a complete fat ass but it’s cool. He can have that, he’s just lucky I’m in a good mood.

When he got us to the house he got Jayce and Damien up so they could clean up. They weren’t doing anything but sleeping damn near all day since they were officially out for the summer. Shit if it was up to me both of them would have summer jobs.

While Tristan handled Chase I went and changed out of the uncomfortable ass pencil skirt and blouse I wore to court, into a t-shirt, a pair of leggings and sneakers. After brushing my hair up into a bun I grabbed my stuff and left the house so I could handle everything I needed to.

The first stop I made was at my store just to check on things. My store was definitely doing great business, so well I was thinking about opening up another store in a new location. Even though I had a lot of designer things in my store I made sure to have affordable clothes too. I’ve been through too much in my life and struggled too hard for me to turn my back on off brand clothing. I wanted to make sure any and everybody could shop here and it was making me a lot of money.

I got the money for the deposit then went to the bank before making my way to the grocery store. That’s when I called Tristan and told him to text me everything he wanted to eat and this nigga had a laundry list of things.

He wanted steaks, chicken, pork chops, ribs, shrimp, and some more stuff. The only reason I didn’t have a problem getting everything is because I want all of that stuff too. I was about to hit 12 weeks and this little boy has me eating everything in sight.

Ebony and Nicole swear I’m going to have another girl but I already know I have a boy. With Jayce and Chase I barely had any cravings, I really didn’t even feel pregnant until way after I found out. This time I’m hungry every five minutes, even when I’m not hungry I’m eating and all of the symptoms of pregnancy are on full blast this time.

Tristan is ecstatic about this pregnancy and that makes this whole situation better for me. We were about to have four kids in the house and from the way Tristan talks we won’t be done any time soon. This nigga actually wants to have three more after this one. Talking about seven is God’s lucky number. He’s lucky I don’t mind having all the babies he wants to. I actually love being a mother. We could go up to ten if he wanted to and I wouldn’t mind.

When I got home I went straight to the kitchen and cleaned then seasoned the meat so Tristan could start putting everything on the grill. After the meat was out of the way I got started on the sides.

“Ma,” Jayce came in the kitchen looking like she went on a shopping spree in my closet. “Can I use your charger?”

“Where is yours and why the hell do you have my clothes on? Stay out of my closet and you might as well change because I know for a fact Tristan is going to bitch about those shorts.”

“He bitches about everything I want.”

“Watch your mouth; we’re close but we’re not friends. Don’t curse when you’re talking to me. Go change into your own clothes and no little ass shorts either.”

“Can I invite somebody?”

“Who? Erica?”

“She’s coming but I was talking about Lucas, and his friend Derrick. I don’t want Erica feeling like a 3rd wheel.”

“Oh boy,” I shook my head. I personally didn’t have a problem with the boy, I think he’s a good but Tristan is a different story. He’s very protective over Jayce so seeing a boy here with her will not be easy for him to swallow. Then on top of that Kaylin and Rashad are going to be over here too and they’re no better.

“Are you sure you want him to come over? I don’t have a problem with it but you know how Tristan is.”

“Yes, and it’s not going to change anytime soon so why not get it out the way today. Besides, Lucas has been fully warned about him and his friends. Can he come please?”

“Fine Jayce, he can come. Don’t get mad when Tristan is damn near jumping down that boy’s throat. I already warned you.”

“I’m good mama trust me.” She came over and kissed my cheek. “What should I wear?”

“Something appropriate for a 15 year old that’s what. Stay out of my stuff while you’re doing that. Oh and let Erica know I don’t expect her to come over here with her ass all out either. If I don’t like what she has on I’m sending her ass straight home.”

“I know that and I already told her. She’s on her way right now but thank you ma.” She ran out of the kitchen with a huge smile on her face while I went to the backyard just to give this nigga some warning about them boys coming over here.

“Tristan, Jayce invited her friends over.” I went over to where he was working behind the grill.

“That’s fine with me, we got enough food. How many?”

“Three. It’s Erica and two boys.”

“Hold the fuck up,” he looked at me like I had two heads. “Boys? Who told her she could bring boys over here?”

“She asked if they could come and I told her they could.”

“Why would you do that? I’m trying to celebrate and have a good time tonight Mariah and now you about to have me out here watching some little nigga smiling all up in my daughter’s face.”

“She likes the boy, it’s not like they’re going on a date. They’re going to have their asses right up in this backyard where everybody can see them. Don’t sweat it, she’s the one who asked if they can come. She wants you to meet the boy, keep that in mind.”

“Yeah aight, that little nigga got one time to do or say some bullshit and I’m kicking his ass like I’m his daddy around this bitch.”

“Just chill out, keep your eye on her but give her some space too. She’s a smart girl alright, she knows what to do and what not to do.”

“I know that, you raised her right but I don’t know that little nigga and I’m not really feelin’ this idea but I’ll let it go.”

“Thank you, just relax yourself. She knows how to act and she knows what type of company to keep.” I kissed him on the lips then went back in the house.

Jayce was a brave one for even wanting her little friend to come over here because if I was in her position I would’ve been hiding him from Tristan’s mean ass…Then again hiding shit and sneaking around is how I got pregnant with her so young anyway.

Jayce

“Help me find something to wear.” I told my best friend Erica while we were in my room. I’ve been looking for the perfect outfit for what seems like forever but I kept coming up with nothing.

“What’s wrong with the shorts you have on? You look cute.”

“My mother told me to change, which I don’t mind doing because if I bring my ass down the steps with these shorts on and Lucas comes he’ll be right back out the door before niggas even eat.

“Yeah your parents don’t play. Well, it’s not that hot outside so you can just wear some jeans.”

“True, I’ll figure it out…You know he’s bringing Derrick right?”

“Yeah I know, that nigga text me telling me he was coming. He is so fine but he is so annoying.”

“I know what you mean. I just hope Lucas doesn’t clam up in front of my dad. Plus his friends are going to be here too and they’re just as bad.”

“And sexy, I’m sorry I know you hate when I say it but your pops is so damn fine. Oh my God…It should be a sin to be that damn fine.”

“That’s my daddy you’re over there lusting over. Eww.”

“Sorry,” she laughed. Erica is my girl. I met her as soon as we moved over here.

Our high school was majority white kids, it had to be about ten black kids in that school in total. The only girl that didn’t hate my ass was Erica, maybe it’s because she couldn’t really give a fuck about Lucas liking me. The rest of those broads were thirsty as hell for him so they turned into supreme haters when he started chasing me, the new girl.

“Yo you saw Naomi talking shit on twitter again? I swear to God I wanna punch that bitch in the throat so bad.”

“I don’t know what she said because she blocked me. It was about me again?”

“Yup, hating on the picture Lucas put up of y’all on the last day of school.”

“She acts like it’s my fault he doesn’t like her.” My biggest hater was this girl Naomi. Before I moved here Lucas was her boo, or so she says but he ended up dropping her ass like a bad habit after he met me. Now she pretty much hates me and talks shit every chance she gets.

“Haters are always going to be haters. It’s our jobs to embrace them and be proud of the fact that they hate. You think I give a fuck about Ashley’s boney ass liking Derrick? Nope. I don’t.”

“They can do whatever they want. As long as they don’t come at my neck stupid we’re fine.” I went through my closet until I figured out what I was going to wear. After I got dressed Erica and I went downstairs. Before I could go to the backyard Lucas was calling my phone telling me he and Derrick were outside so we headed out there to meet them.

“What’s up?” He hugged me before kissing me on the cheek causing me to blush.

Lucas was so damn fine it actually makes no sense. He was light skin, nice full lips, plus tall with a body like a basketball player. He kept his hair curly but he always made sure to get a good line up every other week. He was definitely a pretty boy but I liked it.

“Nothing, you ready to get grilled by my dad?”

“Not really but I gotta get ready I guess.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him around to the backyard where everybody already was.

Before heading over to where Tristan was standing by the grill talking to his friends I wanted to make him feel comfortable with people that wouldn’t jump down his throat.

“Ooh look at this one bringing a boy over here.” Nicole smiled at me. “Who is this Jayce?”

“My friend Lucas, and the other one is his friend Derrick. Lucas these are my mother’s friends, Nicole and that’s-“

“Ebony Martin, I follow you on instagram.” He smiled at her making her laugh.

“Thanks. How old are you and what grade are you in?”

“17, I’ll be a senior next year.”

“Alright, are you going to college?”

“Damn Ebony, why are you interviewing the boy?” My mother asked. “He’s already going to go through hell with Tristan.”

“You know what you’re right. I’m going to fall back but Jayce baby, you might want to go handle that. Your step daddy over there looking like he’s ready to kill somebody.”

I looked over at Tristan and he was glaring in our direction. If looks could kill Lucas would be six feet under already. “Alright come on.” I started to pull him over there but he put his hand up and went over by himself with Derrick right behind him.

“Ooh shit, little nigga got some balls. That’s a good sign, good job Jayce.” Nicole winked at me.

I watched Lucas and Tristan talk and Tristan looked pretty much bored and unimpressed the whole time. I for sure thought we were doomed until he held his hand out for Lucas to shake. When they shook hands Tristan smiled. “Is that nigga smiling?” I heard Ebony ask.

Confused I walked over to see what happened because Tristan went from looking like he was ready to murder this boy, to smiling. I know he’s crazy but I need an explanation. “So, what’s going on over here?”

“I like these little niggas. They got their shit together, he knows what he wants to do and he’s going for it. I respect it and I respect y’all little situation or whatever but we got some rules.”

“Rules?”

“Yes Rules Jay. First off, you’re not allowed at his house until your mother and I meet his parents. He can come over here but if you’re up in your room the door will be open at all times. No cuffin’ in this bitch, and as long as you keep your head in the books, keep your grades up and don’t fuck up on curfew or whatever else we’re good.”

“Thank you.” I gave Tristan a hug then pulled Lucas and Derrick away. We got our food then sat down around the pool. “So what did you tell him?”

“He asked me what was going on with school and stuff.”

“That’s why he likes you.” Lucas was a straight A student, captain of the basketball team plus he’s already pretty much a scholarship to go anywhere he wants to go. The boy has a bright future in front of him as long as he does what he needs to do. “That’s all he asked you?”

“Nah he asked if we were fuckin’.” Lucas laughed like it was funny. I couldn’t do anything but shake my head, I wish I could say I was shocked but I wasn’t. Tristan has no filter and doesn’t bite his tongue for anybody.

“He got the answer he wanted if you’re still here. That man is too much.”

“Yeah but he cares about you, so just deal with it.”

“I know he threatened you.”

“Yeah, and if I don’t want my head blown off I need to do right by you.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t even worry about it, that’s how fathers operate. So what’s up? Your mom likes me, I got pops seal of approval. You have no more excuses.”

“Talking about the whole girlfriend thing?”

“Yeah,”

“You know what I feel about that.”

“What? Are you scared of Naomi or something?”

“Hell no, I just don’t like drama. As soon as she finds out about us being together for real, she’s going to be running her mouth.”

“It’s the summer time, I’m not encouraging you to fight here. I would rather you didn’t but it aint shit stopping you from beating her ass if she tries you is all I’m saying. Fuck her, she’s salty I don’t want her.”

“You were fucking with her though.”

“Yeah because she was throwing that pussy at me, but that bitch is foul. She fucked Derrick and a couple of other niggas from my team.”

“That’s some hoe shit honestly.”

“Exactly, plus she just wants me because she thinks I’m making it to the NBA. I know you’re not impressed by that shit.”

“I have no reason to be, I mean congratulations if it happens but whatever.”

“That’s why I like you. You don’t care about the extra stuff. Shit, you played me for three months straight.”

“Man,” I laughed. “You were annoying when I first got to that school. You grew on me though.”

“So what’s up? I got a girl or not?

“Yes you have a girl.” He leaned in like he was going to kiss me but I turned my face so he only got my cheek. “Don’t kiss me out here, he doesn’t like you that much.”

“My bad. I got you later though.”

The rest of the day went without a hitch. Tristan wasn’t all down my back like I thought he would be. I guess Lucas talking to him right off the bat really impressed him.

After everybody left I helped my mother and Tristan clean up and put everything away. Before I could go to my room so I could block everybody out for the rest of the night I went to the kitchen so I could bring snacks upstairs with me.

When I got in the kitchen Tristan was sitting at the table eating a big ass plate of ribs like he wasn’t eating meat all day.

“Keep eating like that you’re going to get fat.” I told him.

“Nah I work it off.” He chuckled. “I’m glad you came down here, I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Your little boyfriend.”

“I thought you liked him.”

“I do but I love you so I need to make sure your head is in the right space. I’m going to assume and pray that you’re still a virgin.”

“Yes I’m a virgin,” I laughed at him. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“This is your first time with a boyfriend, and I want to make sure you know certain things.”

“Tristan my mama already had the sex talk with me. I think we’re good.”

“Your mother is not a man so she can’t tell you everything. Jayce niggas will tell you any and everything you wanna hear if it means getting what they want aight. You’re a beautiful girl so you’re going to have boys chasing behind you like crazy and I don’t want you out here getting played left and right.”

“Alright so what’s your advice for me?”

“My advice to you is to always put your self-respect first. If you don’t want to do something, say no. Don’t let these knuckle head boys talk you into doing some shit you know is not right. I’ll put it like this…Don’t be out here busting it open for every little nigga smiling in your direction. Don’t fall for that I love you and if you really loved me bullshit.”

“Anything else?” I laughed again.

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious.”

“I know you’re serious and I appreciate you telling me this because I know you care. I know all of this already. I didn’t see my mother every single day for a couple of years but we talked every day. We still talk about everything, all the time. There isn’t really much she doesn’t know about me and the same goes for you. I see how you are with my mom, and even though I do think you have a slight temper problem.” I chuckled before continuing, “You’re a good man and you make her super happy. She’s walking around here with a smile on her face just about every day. Y’all are like real like relationship goals.”

“Relationship goals? What type of shit is that?”

“Something some of us young people say,” I teased him. “You wouldn’t know anything about that of course but I’m just saying.”

“Well I just want what’s best for you. You already know that though.”

“Yeah I know.” I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, grabbed some oreo’s from the pantry then started to make my way out the kitchen.

“Good night Jayce, damn you and your mother rude as shit.”

“My bad,” I laughed. “Good night Tristan.”

[theknowing-ff-blog]

Hell Date (Writing challenge 1)

“Shit, Tori get it together. Just act natural and all will go well.”

“Why are you so nervous? It’s only a date, girl.” Ashley said as she was standing in the mirror reapplying her lipstick. She was the only one ecstatic about this.

“I don’t like blind dates, Ashley.”

“You don’t like dates, Tori. You haven’t dated in a year. I’m surprised Samir was able to get you on one.” She’s right, but I try to avoid men as much as possible. With sweat trying to trickle down my forehead, my nerves got the best of me. Blind dates were freaking horrible. The problem was, I agreed to three of them and I don’t think I can make it to the end of this one.

A little background on this date, our best friend think he’s the love connection and decided he would set us up with us with his co-workers. Now here I am pacing back and forth in this bathroom, trying to calm myself down. What if the guy isn’t my type? What if he’s some psycho killer? Better yet, what if I’m not his type? So many things were running through my mind and I just wanted to run the hell up out of this restaurant. I glanced over in the mirror and realized that I wasn’t going to waste this look I had going on. I had a new curly wig, my makeup was popping and my black sequin chain dress was hugging my curves so nicely.

“Well, Tori, you didn’t get fine for nothing.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I sighed deeply and fixed my dress before we headed back out there.

It had been fifteen minutes and our mystery men were already late. I was sitting at the bar and I was already on my second shot of this unsatisfying Jameson whiskey. I was becoming annoyed and wanted to leave right that second. I know this is not a marriage arrangement or anything, but I was so damn nervous. I’m not good with dates at all and I think it’s because I’m scared. It took everything in me to stay there and that’s when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and noticed it was Samir and some girl hey met a few weeks ago. Why must this date be a group date?

“Wassup Tori and Ashley. Y'all look decent.” He said chuckling.

“Hey, Samir.” I looked up at him and took another shot.

“Samir, you’re a hater. We look the fuck good, okay? what are you doing here?”

“Well we wanted to do the whole buddy system, just in case yall dates starts tripping.” He smirked, but I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. I just wanted this date to be over.

“Well, where are they Samir? Did they turn around and leave? That would fade all of my worries.” I said as I waved at the bartender to bring me another shot.

“Tori, can try to be interested in a date for once? You’re not marrying the guy, you’re here to have fun. Here they are now.” That’s when I saw them. One was tall, dark and just fine. The other one was fine too. He was a caramel complexion, tall as well and I don’t know which one it was, but I could smell Viktor & Rolf Spice Bomb Cologne as they made their way over to us.

As soon as they walked over, Samir and his date went to their table and left me and Ashley at the bar. I gulped down my shot and the first thing I noticed from the caramel one, was that his smile turned into a frown. I was confused because was that frown for me or Ashley? I should hope not considering I thought we both looked so fine tonight. Maybe I’m overthinking everything because I’m so damn nervous. Shit, I hope this date goes well.

“Are you Victoria?” The caramel one approached me. His sexy, deep voice had chills running up my spine.

“Yes, but you call me Tori. You’re Ricardo, right?”

“Yes and I rather call you Victoria.” He said it in a nonchalant manner. What the hell was up with that? Strike one.

“Oh okay, um our table is ready.” He rolled his eyes and that’s when I gave Ashley a cold stare as she and her date were all smiles and giggles. Little did she know this date was starting off wrong already. I’m just trying to figure what did I do wrong.

Sitting down, our waiter finally came over and asked us if wanted anything to drink. To be honest I wanted to leave. My date seemed so uninterested and it was just plain rude. I’m no fan of blind dates and I know I didn’t want to do this date either, but I’m trying. I swear if he says anything out of the way I’m leaving and throwing a glass of wine on him. I don’t have time for men and their shitty ass behaviors.

“So I hear you work with Samir. You guys are both into graphic designing, that seems so cool. How do you like it?”

“I mean it’s cool, as you put it. I always had a passion for graphic designing and illustration. Working on my own company as we speak. What do you do for a living? Post pics on Instagram?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you one of those uneducated Instagram models? You just seem like the type. I can tell by your dress, Yeezy season 2 shoes and that hair.” What the hell? I was two seconds from slapping this guy with the menu. How dare he downplay “Instagram” models as he so put it? Strike two.

“Well, first off I’m a hairstylist. Second, I do make money from social media, but I’m no model. I also have a masters in engineering. So who’s uneducated here?” The look on his face was priceless. Ashley and her date both looked over at us and frowned.

“How long did it take you to come up with that?” He smirked and folded his arms together.

“Not that long. Cosmetology at Paul Mitchell didn’t take long. Then getting my degree from the University of Michigan didn’t take long either. Nice try, because you’re really trying it.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I just get tired of going on dates with women who have nothing going on. You give off the vibe that you’re only here for free food and that’s it. You give off the vibe that you don’t do anything but take selfies.”

“Well, you know what they say when you assume. You make an ass of yourself. Would you like it if I judged your ass off the rip? No, you wouldn’t.” His ass shut up then. He knew he was wrong. He had no reason to be that ignorant.

Our waiter came back, sitting our drinks down and that’s when I decided to order an appetizer. I was so close to ending this, but of course, I’m trying to appease Ashley and Samir. They both want me to date so bad, but the guy Samir set me up with is an asshole. I know Samir was trying to do a good deed, but I wish he would’ve have known this son of a bitch was rude.

“So, what made you go to school for hair and engineering?”

“Those are two things I have a passion for and of course I never want to rely on a man for everything. I need my own money, but I don’t have a problem with my man taking care of things.”

“This is why I date white women. They know how to sit back and let a man be a man. You come off aggressive and also demanding. I honestly don’t see what man would want to date you or any woman like you. Black women always want too much. Plus, you continued a back and forth session with me when all you had to do was be quiet. Typical black women shit.” He had a smug look and that’s when the waiter came right on time. I noticed Ashley cocked her head back and was appalled. I don’t know who this guy thought he was playing with, but he had the wrong one. How the hell did I come off aggressive when he started it? And where does he get off with these black women comments? Strike three.

As the waiter came back, he asked if were ready to order anything else and that’s when I told him no because we needed more time. That’s what had; time. I was about to go off on this man since he wanted to be an asshole and put down black women. He really fucked up and now I have to ruin his night and everyone else’s.

“What the fuck is wrong with him. What do you mean typical black women shit? Lawrence, check your boy.” Ashley sat her drink down hard as hell, but I could handle this situation very well.

“Ricardo, chill man. Just leave, don’t be disrespectful towards her.” Lawrence was annoyed and I could tell he wasn’t feeling Ricardo at all.

“That’s why you date white women? Basically, you believe they’re easier to control, huh?”

“Absolutely. They know their place, unlike your kind.”

“My kind? Oh, I’m sorry is your mother of another race or is that underlying racism really fucking with your head? How dare you put down your own women just to say you like white women? Are really this ignorant or you just want a way out of this date? ” we had an audience and honestly I was getting louder on purpose.

“My mother is black but she doesn’t ac-”

“She doesn’t what? Just shut the fuck up, please. Black men like you make it bad for the rest that actually respects us. The fact that you can sit up with a straight face and disrespect me is disgusting. A white woman can you have your sorry ass and we’ll see who has your back when you face racial issues from racist ass people. I’m out of here.” I got up and grabbed my purse.

“Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not.” I picked my wine glass up and took a sip. I gave him a dirty look and that’s when I threw the rest in his face. “Now I’m done. Oh Samir, thank you for this blind date, but never again.” I shouted across the room. “Ashley, I will talk to you later. Enjoy your date with this gentleman.”  and that’s when I made my way out of the restaurant. I didn’t have time for the bullshit.

Waiting for my uber, I was heated. I was tired and I was ready to go off on every man that looked my way. I know there are men who disrespect women on a daily, but I never had a man disrespect me personally. Truth be told, I felt embarrassed. When all eyes were on us I felt like I was the one being judged and not him. That’s usually how it is right?

“Excuse me mi-”

“Wha- uh, oh….hi. Yes, can I help you.” I turned around quickly and just when I was getting ready to curse someone out, this fine ass man stopped all of that.

“Hi, I heard what happened in there. Are you alright?”

“Not really. I don’t like when men disrespect  me or any woman for that matter.”

“Yeah, that was pretty messed up. I don’t like seeing shit like that either. I just don’t understand how he could disrespect someone as beautiful as you.” He said as his tongue ran across his bottom lip. I don’t know what it was, but he was so sexy.

“Are you trying to flirt me?”

“I don’t know, is it working?”

“Kind of.” I giggled and fixed my dress. He was so damn beautiful and I don’t know why I was turning red in the face. He was making me nervous.

“I’m Brandon by the way? You are?”

“I’m Tori.”

“Well Tori, are you willing to go on date with me since that one didn’t work?” I wanted to say no, but the vibe was telling me to say yes.

“Hmm, I guess. As long as you’re not disrespectful or crazy.”

“I promise you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Hmm, okay. Now I’m going to hold you to that.” He handed me his phone and that’s when I put my number in it. This was another risk I was willing to take. He was fine and seemed nice. “Here you go.” I handed his phone back and that’s when my uber pulled up.

“When I call you, don’t act like you don’t remember me.”

“Oh, believe me, I won’t. Bye” I waved him bye and got inside of the car. Let’s just hope this works out better than what I just had with that jerk in there. I don’t need any more hell dates, Lord knows.