#you should be at MY mercy

[dykesynthezoid]

The thing about being a full adult w PDA is that 50 times a day I end up going “you cannot make me do that I’m Literally An Adult”

[vanhelsingapologist]

Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.

They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.

They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.

Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.

On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.

[sysig]

“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)

Bonus:

Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Crazy issues that come up when a character is written a little too well

[harocat]

I have so many feelings about the way these two episodes outlined Tushan Jing’s strength of character by the way.

Xiyan Grandpa explaining the sheer amount of strength and will it takes to be kind, to choose goodness over and over. Saying that this is admirable! It’s a CHOICE to be kind. And it is also a choice, a difficult one, to show restraint. I love seeing characters take bloody revenge as well, but it’s not always the best fit for a character.

Cang Xuan trying to say that Tushan Jing choosing kindness will get him killed in the end, but… he’s wrong.

Because Cang Xuan forgets that Tushan Jing is also smart. He let Tushan Hou live, but only after making it impossible for him to strike back; by declawing and defanging him. Even then, when TSJ and Xiaoyao go to check on little Tian, they take major precautions.

And the only reason this didn’t work was because someone even more powerful than the Tushan family got involved; Cang Xuan himself. And that’s someone who would have found a way to get rid of TSJ whether he’d chosen to kill Tushan Hou and FFYY or not.

Kindness didn’t kill Tushan Jing; in fact it gave him his greatest happiness. There is value in a soft heart.

[mionkings]

Vlad did not expect this shit at all what the fuck???

You know those twin/sibling aus with Danny and Damian? That but in Vlad's POV

CMON I feel like it's underutilized, given how Vlad has an obsession with wanting Danny to be his son when he ISNT greedy for power and control.

Like Vlad Masters takes pride in thinking that he knows everything about Danny like the creepy bastard he is.

So imagine when shit hits the fan as always with these AUs; Vlad expects Danny to come crawling to him or at least last a few days until he gives up and finally goes to Vlad for help.

But then Danny disappears, and Vlad doesn't know where the brat is. Time passes by, and no matter what, Daniel hasn't come out of whatever hidey hole he is. That is until PLOT HAPPENS AGAIN- Vlad gets a hint that Daniel is in GOTHAM of all places- so he goes!

And most of the time when Vlad finally shows up in these aus, it's of course at the Gotham Gala–time to start shit up!

There he finds Daniel with Bruce Wayne of all people, hanging out with that Wayne's youngest child. Where Vlad sees the eerie similarities with Daniel and the Wayne Boy, minus the eyes and what-not. He sees Daniel staying close to Brucie and his son, that will not do.

This would give Vlad the opportunity to finally mold the brat into his perfect son, and even get Maddie in the process!

But of course, with these aus, Vlad doesn't get Daniel, so Vlad is pissed because how dare the brat choose Wayne over Vlad Masters???

Why would the boy choose Brucie Wayne over coming with Vlad?! Over coming home?! Over his parents?! Vlad would understand, even be elated since usually in these types of aus, Danny has a falling out with the Fentons or it just isn't safe at home anymore.

But after all, this is Vlad's POV: he'd be pissed and confused on WHY Daniel would dare choose Wayne over him, he could support Daniel just fine, he knows what the boy needs.

But the way that angry brat glared murderously at Vlad; and Daniel doesn't do anything to get the Wayne boy to stop, in fact he seems concerned for the other boy who's glare would kill. Bruce Wayne even seemed smart enough to get Daniel and his son away with a smile, and Daniel is letting them.

These people shouldn't be this protective of the boy, given that somehow Daniel ended up in their care. But the way, Danny Fenton seems to trust them enough to know that he could travel with them willingly...

But WHY would he???

[solarfalling]

Hedwyn made everyone hot chocolate

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[clairedaring]

So, it's your bath time, right? Eh? Let's bathe! Hey! I can walk! Khun Yai, stop! Khun Yai!

I Feel You Linger In The Air (2023) | 1.08

[aggressionbread]

do you know what we all take for granted most?

the little pause the backspace button does when you hold it down after deleting the first letter, before it starts rapidly erasing everything else.

[sleepy-bear-tm]

God I am so happy we could recruit him in Azure Gleam.

[anawrites3]

When men say "I love her" but Odysseus said "She's my everything, my Penelope, and she's all my power"

[louroth]

last name reveal for IDREN//IDA + their moodboard character sheet

[warmhappycat]

I just saw someone say it was in poor taste for OFMD season 2 to have “Izzy apologize for letting Ed mutilate him” and I took 10,000 psychic damage. Just say you don’t think emotional abuse counts and go.

[lulu2992]

While I’m at it, in 2015, I also made a video compiling the different endings of BioShock 2, and I’ve decided to finally upload it!

So there are 8 endings in total. I call them:

1.1 – A

2.1 – A

1.2 – B.1

1.2 – B.2

2.2 – B.1

2.2 – B.2

1.2 – C

2.2 – C

I also made two visual representations, a table and a diagram, of how to get them:

The text version of this and what Eleanor says in each ending is under the cut :)

Part 1

1.1: Eleanor forgives and saves Sofia Lamb.

Condition: Delta rescues all the Little Sisters; Delta spares at least one person among Grace Holloway, Stanley Poole, and Gilbert Alexander.

"And then, Father, the Rapture dream was over. You taught me that evil is just a word. Under the skin, it’s simple pain. For you, mercy was victory. You sacrificed, you endured, and when given the chance, you forgave. Always. Mother believed this world was irredeemable, but she was wrong, Father. We are Utopia, you and I, and in forgiving, we left the door open for her."

1.2: Eleanor hates but saves Sofia Lamb.

Condition: Delta harvests at least one Little Sister; Delta spares Grace Holloway, Stanley Poole, and Gilbert Alexander.

"And then, Father, the Rapture dream was over. You taught me that right and wrong are tidal forces, ever-shifting. To survive in Rapture, Father, you took what you needed from the innocent. But, when the guilty posed no further threat, you simply walked away. I wanted Mother dead. But, broken as she was, how could she hurt me? Now, she will grow old and die, knowing that I rejected her."

2.1: Eleanor loves but drowns Sofia Lamb.

Condition: Delta rescues all the Little Sisters; Delta kills Grace Holloway, Stanley Poole, and Gilbert Alexander.

"You taught me that justice is a contract: once broken, it can never be mended. You sacrificed so much to preserve the innocent. But, to the guilty, you offered no mercy. I loved my mother, and I never wanted to hurt her. But with what she did to us, she gave up the right to exist. My hands were shaking when I did it… But you were there to steady them."

2.2: Eleanor hates and drowns Sofia Lamb.

Condition: Delta harvests at least one Little Sister; Delta kills at least one person among Grace Holloway, Stanley Poole, and Gilbert Alexander.

"And then, Father, the Rapture dream was over. You taught me that innocence is chrysalis, a phase designed to end. Only when we are free from it do we know ourselves. You showed me that my survival, my joy, are all that matter. I indulge, nothing else exists."

Part 2

A: Eleanor is at peace and hopeful. Delta dies but willingly lives on in Eleanor.

Condition: Delta rescues all the Little Sisters.

"The Rapture dream is over. But in waking, I am reborn. This world isn’t ready for me, yet here I am. It would be so easy to misjudge them. You are my conscience, Father, and I need you to guide me. You will always be with me now, Father: your memories, your drives… And when I need you, you’ll be there on my shoulder, whispering. If Utopia is not a place, but a people, then we must choose carefully, for the world is about to change. And in our story, Rapture was just the beginning."

B: Eleanor is in doubt...

Condition: Delta rescues at least one and harvests at least one Little Sister.

"You made a monster of me, Father, but I wondered why you saved the others. You left me in doubt. Didn’t you want me to be like you? I knew I could save you, but if you felt regret, if you wanted me to choose for myself, I would have to let you go. To let you die."

Delta chooses to sacrifice himself and not live on in Eleanor. Eleanor is alone and unsure about her future. "The Rapture dream is over. And in waking, I am alone. Mother, I left behind, and you chose to die rather than to have me follow you. But you gave me the greatest gift of all, something I have never had: my freedom. There is no name for what I am, but the world is about to change. I thought we would seize it together. Yet, as I sat there with you, I wondered if even I could be redeemed. Your sacrifice gave me hope. But, Father, wherever you are… I miss you."

Delta chooses to save himself and live on in Eleanor. Eleanor is evil. "You may not have wanted me, Father, but you defined me. You chose to survive, no matter the cost, and I will not let your instincts go to waste. The Rapture dream is over. And in waking, I am reborn. You’ll always be with me, Father: your memories, your drives... When I need you, you’ll be there, whispering from my shoulder. There is no name for what I am, but the world is about to change, and with your help, they’ll never see me coming."

C: Eleanor is a monster. Delta dies but unwillingly lives on in Eleanor.

Condition: Delta harvests all the Little Sisters.

"The Rapture dream is over, and in waking, I am reborn. You may not have wanted me, Father, but you defined me. You chose to survive, no matter the cost, and I will not let your instincts go to waste. You’ll always be with me, Father: your memories, your drives... When I need you, you’ll be there, whispering from my shoulder. There is no name for what I am, but the world is about to change, and with your help, they’ll never see me coming."