#you literally organized my thoughts
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I literally avoid TikTok because of their opinions on Shane. They have such this warped sense of depression that’s kinda terrifying; gives me tumblr 2013 vibes where a lot of people were just saying shit like ‘uwu such a depressed wil baby bean uwu’ (I mean it’s still like that now but I feel like it was worse before), that when they see the ‘grosser’ side of depression they don’t know how to comprehend it.
Depression isn’t just ‘feeling a bit down’, it’s a serious mental illness that can and has killed people before. Shane himself literally shows suicidal ideation during his cutscenes.
If he barely finds reason to want to stay alive, where the hell would he be able to find the motivation to clean his floor, or fix the holes in his jacket.
Shane cannot be fixed, he can only heal, but like a broken vase glued back together, the cracks will always remain - and that’s not a bad thing.
He will still drink, he never claimed he was stopping, but he cuts back and it shows - that alone is a good step. He has dialogue explaining his mood will get ‘weird’ and he’ll seem cranky because depression can and does fluctuate between good and bad.
You cannot just fix him with a hug and a pat on the head. Depression doesn’t work like that. It’s not an ‘uwu soft bean’ illness, it’s serious. And I hope many of the people that do hold this mentality towards Shane are simply young, and therefore don’t fully grasp the situation because it means they can learn.
You can’t fix people, and you should never form any form of relationship under the guise of ‘fixing someone’. You care people for who they are, including flaws, and you act as the rock they need to ground and support them when they hit their lows.
I hope these people that talk about Shane this way never interact with someone depression, because I honestly think they will cause so much harm than good.
I guess that’s a lot of rambling to say: depression is awful and manifests in many ways, including symptoms that may come across as ‘gross’, but that doesn’t take away from the seriousness of it. Shane is one of the best depictions of depression in media I have seen, and while I’m not saying you have to like this character, the lack of empathy is concerning - even more when concerned to Hayley who is a completely different character to Shane. And if you do have this TikTok mentality, please learn more about depression and how awful it gets. It kills, and your comments and understanding of it, projected onto Shane, are the sort of things that will make people suffering with depression feel far worse - I know from experience as a depressed person who is very similar to Shane in many aspects (just not the alcohol part, just an unhealthy relationship with food, TMI), and has had people say this shit to me because I didn’t want to leave my room cause I was too busy using whatever energy I had to not end my life.
Sorry for the ending I know this got sad fast.
But yeah, hate TikTok, please learn how depression works, and leave Shane alone.
- mistresskezzie (sideblog hence on anon)
you said it all
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I think a thing that people get wrong about Jason's anger is that it's not explosive.
It's cold. Jason isn't the type of person who storms off at every little thing or goes throwing tantrums and setting things on fire blindfully.
He's the type of person who's very practical. He keeps to himself, always. You rarely see issues where Jason's anger is reactive at the moment where the trigger happens to him. If you see his character up close, most of the time when he's triggered his reaction is calm. Even cold.
He gets triggered -> He keeps to himself → He makes a plan → And then he reacts.
Jason's anger being something explosive and out of character and out of place is actually how other people (characters) see it, because they have no idea on how it's playing out on Jason's head.
And that's a thing you can see operating since he was a child.
Where the only exceptions about this effect is either when someone he believes needs his help is involved.
See Nightwing Annual (2021)
But In Batman #411 when Jason learns the fact that Two-Face was responsible for his father's death and Bruce was keeping that from him as a secret his first reaction isn't to blow up on him.
Was to seethe.
Bruce goes up home after dealing with a Two-Face case (in my field we call that poetic irony) and asks Alfred where Jason is, Alfred's answer is that he's been sleeping all day (which is a conclusion that Alfred drew probably after going to check on Jason and seeing him in fact on his bed all day).
But when you see the next panel, even though he is on the bed, He's fully awake and both his expression and his body language shows that he's in fact angry.
This is the first time he appears again in the comics after learning that Two Face killed his dad.
Jason doesn't go towards Bruce immediately to demand an explanation or ask why he did this, or even to throw the truth on his face.
(Which could be debatable that that's something the Dick would usually do, but I'm not that literate on Dick's comics)
His reaction wasn't immediate.
His reaction was to go to his bed and stay quiet. Jason stayed calm and collected the whole trip until meeting Two Face again.
But the moment Jason as Robin has the opportunity to get his hands on Two-Face he does this
From Bruce, and maybe Alfred's perspective it could be interpreted as out of place or him storming off.
But it isn't. Jason was able to keep his cool (even though he shut off), until he was face a face to Two Face.
Does that mean he planned that to happen?
That's debatable, in any moment of this issue it is shown that Jason was actually planning to get to Two Face and do this. I my personal opinion, other and much more plausible explanation is: That he was in fact trying to keep to himself but couldn't hold back the moment that he saw his dad's murder.
You can see the same thing happening as Jason learns that Batman got another Robin in Red Hood: Lost Days.
Talia asks "You all right?" and Jason's first answer is "Sure Why Wouldn't I Be Alright?"
When he's alone he finally has the moment to break down.
(Actually both Red Hood: The lost days and Batman: Under the Red Hood are great case studies on how that usually play out on Jason's head.)
Jason is way more in control of his emotions than people ever give him credit for. The thing is that Jason holds it back until he either blows off or is capable to throw it back in someone's face.
#I didn't finish not even half of my thoughts in here but I'm going to publish it before it gets drag in my 182828383 drafts#if you disagree lets fist fight at six am#jason todd#q rambles#character study#writing Jason Todd#← this is not a guide this is literally the tag I use to organize things#q screams at the void#q rants
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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HELP you are so funny for this 🤣💀
I just laughed for 5 minutes straight. I feel like people who don’t pay attention to your random rare lore that you drop in your tags are missing out cause girl you funny as fuck
honestly i forget that some people actually look at my tags LOL. i usually just say random things that come to my mind 😂
#i’m glad you find my tragic taste in men amusing#he trauma dumped and then talked about our future together#it was literally our first date#but what am i supposed to do they either want to marry me or they’re a frat boy#college life is so embarrassing#anyway#bonus lore for those still here: i’m an ordained minister via the internet LOL#simply because i thought it would be funny#also fuck organic chemistry#it’s ruining my life
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actually, no, back to this again. sam should have zero concept of heat post-cage/lucifer possession. he can put as many layers on as he wants, go out in the middle of a summer day, wrap himself in a blanket, stand next to a fire, stand in the fire, and he's still cold. he's always cold.
which leads to problems when he keeps accidentally grabbing things that are hot enough to burn him and not noticing until the damage is already done. he learns to always hesitate before touching anything just in case, eventually. before that, he spends a lot of time with his palms bandaged around re-aggravated burns, nearly healed but for how he tried to cook something the other day and couldn't feel the heat from the stove, didn't pull his hand away until dean shouted at him.
he's cold. he's cold. his body temperature is several degrees lower than it should be, but the one time it gets to 97.6°, outcome of an experiment with castiel to see if they could fix it, he felt like he was having a fever so bad it might kill him. dean never gets used to feeling the chill under his skin whenever he hugs sam. sometimes his breath fogs in front of him. he shies away from spending the night with anyone because they might feel like they're caressing a ghost. he's walking hypothermia, but that's the way his body likes it now.
the thing is, the cold's not a leftover of lucifer's grace. not really. that's not how cold works. it's an absence. (so the cage freezes, so lucifer freezes, because it, because he, is cut off from God.)
one day, sam is finally standing across from lucifer again. and he feels warm.
#spn#lucifer spn#sam winchester#samifer#just you know. some thoughts.#temperature nonsense? in my samifer? its more likely than youd think#also extremely funny to me if sam's body temp is something that should Literally Be Killing Him its so low#and he's just like :/ well i guess its kinda chilly but i feel fine#sir your organs should be failing#caterposter
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I’ve made a billion fucking drafts and can’t find the words to talk about cellbit and bagi from today. how the fuck do you explain the intricacies between a brother who has lived a life that has sharpened him to cut what he touches, and a sister who had to live with his absence? a man who has to see the childhood he never got to have whenever he looks at the woman he now knows is his twin? said twin who cannot understand why her brother would be anything but glad they are reunited? how do you get across that tangled mess of emotions cellbit had to get him to burn his old pet worm? the paradox of longing for what could have been while desperate to get rid of any reminder, with a healthy dose of paranoia that anything could be a federation bug. or the pure devotion bagi has to decide to stick with her brother even though he is not close to the same as he was when he went missing? the unfairness of it all, of cellbit being taken and made into a killer before he turned 14, of bagi looking for him at the detriment of her own safety and self, of ripped up childhoods and everything that could have been? the fact that the first thing cellbit asks is what he could have done to deserve it? the disgust he holds for himself for what he’s done, and the anger he has for the federation that’s taken everything from him, and the resentment he has towards bagi no matter how unfair it is because she never had to go through what he did? how after bagi swore to help him burn the federation down, cellbit went to bad instead, because bad was there and fought alongside him, and he trusts bad because he’s seen him at his worst, and all he feels like doing is his worst right now? the two of them so similar still because they’re consumed by their need for revenge, while bagi just wants to leave the island? how the fuck can you summarize all this and the emotions that accompany it?
#adding this here a lil too late but bagi’s own resentment because she’s been looking for years and he’s been doing nothing even though he#doesn’t remember#like great! you put more childhood trauma and the feeling you get coming home to a place that isn’t home anymore in my minecraft rp :/#like. fuck what do we do with all this???#there’s such a specific visceral anguish around ruined childhood and knowing that things will never be like the good old days again yknow?#especially when said childhood ruiner is ‘I was taken from my home and made to fight in a literal war’ like wtaf#or when it’s losing a sibling and missing them like a lost fucking organ#sorry if this is too train of conciousness I’m tired and word vomiting and emotional at all this pfkdjfjs#idk I have thoughts I cannot verbalize about this. tv static in my chest#all this lead up to tomorrow where Cellbit will finally meet hatsune miku#mcyt#qsmp#cellbit#q!cellbit#bagi#q!bagi#q!bbh#z speaks
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LAY ME DOWN. chapter seven excerpt. unedited. featuring: agnes’s attempt to understand a new and troubling situation through understanding a new and troubling person. light body horror. self-harm adjacent behaviour. general freaky magic stuff.
[transcript under the cut]
oh brother. these guys again.
TAGLIST (ask to be +/-). @vellichor-virgo @transmasc-wizard @houndmouthed @muddshadow @just-wublrful @corkywantstowrite @shrunkupthejams @andromedaexists @caninemotiff @lungs-and-gills @lychniscitrus @phantomnations @onomatopiya @deer-in-headlights-stare @arctic-oceans @redbloodprose @definitelynotclayface @cannivalisms @atthenian
“Show me then,” the words are out of her mouth before she has time to think. Animal instinct. Too distracted to remember to bite her tongue.
Pallas blinks at her once, slowly. “What?”
She can walk it back, that would be safest, the nothing already crouched expectantly in the back of her throat. Instead she uncrosses her legs and swings them over the edge of the bed to better face them. Having feet on the ground makes her feel more solid, more certain.
“I want you to show me. Vita. I want to see it.”
Pallas raises an eyebrow. “Show you?”
She scoots forward slightly and nods, made a bit braver by the fact that they don’t seem to be angry or condescending, just confused. Probably really confused because Agnes is awful at telling what people feel by their faces and even she can see it clear as day.
“You’ve already seen it,” Pallas says, setting down the pen and shrugging back into their jacket. “You know what it does.”
And that’s true isn’t it? In the Haithwood and in the library. Pallas winding every bit of her body around their fingers and holding her frozen to the ground, Pallas making Calliopes nose break and bleed in a burst of icy rage, Judge reaching under her skin to pull her injured flesh back into shape. Vita. Blood and flesh and living bone. Honestly she’s seen enough for a lifetime. There’s still that sick feeling in her gut whenever she thinks about any of it.
So maybe it has less to do with the magic and more to do with Pallas, who’s spent every hour of every day since she got here pushing her to reach for the dead in a way she never has before. Pallas has had everything to do with her ghosts and her gravespeaking but every time they’ve used their power she’s had absolutely nothing to do with it, a bystander at best and a victim at worst. It's not that she’s upset, or ungrateful, just that she wants to see them the same way they’ve seen her. That isn’t so much to ask? Right?
“Yeah.” Agnes moves to rest her chin in her hands. “But I haven’t seen you use it when you’re not…”
Scaring me? Attacking people?
“...y’know,” she finishes lamely.
Pallas has gone still in the chair and she can’t help but feel the same hot embarrassment as before at the expression on their face, nakedly baffled in a way that feels too intimate for her to be seeing. It’s like something about what she’s asking has managed to fully shock the danger out of them, leaving just a person who doesn’t understand what’s happening. Agnes hadn’t thought that was even possible to do, and the revelation that it is fills her with a kind of mad, giddy joy. You’re just like me. You don’t know what’s going on right now.
All this time she’s been tiptoeing around Pallas, but now she’s knocked them off balance and hasn’t been reduced to a pile of blood and guts. So there are some things she can do. She is not totally helpless and they are human after all and they are being awkward! Being awkward in front of her!
“I don’t exactly have a broad scope,” Pallas says dryly. “I doubt you’ll like anything I have to share.”
Agnes doubts it as well, but that’s not really the point. And nothing they said just now was no.
“Maybe it’ll be nice. Maybe I’ll think it’s nice.”
Pallas stares at her like a chicken confronted with a bicycle. Then they look away. Then they let out a long, quiet breath and close their eyes before shifting to face her properly, both feet on the ground as well.
“Sit back,” it’s closer to their normal voice but with a faintness to it. Not quite trembling, but definitely not steady either. Agnes straightens up and tilts back onto her palms as Pallas shifts forward. It feels like too long before they open their eyes, which are just as grey and bad as ever.
“I won’t do anything to you,” Pallas says, as if that’s an option they were considering. Agnes can’t help but feel a twist of relief, the memories of that first meeting in the woods are never far from her mind and no matter how much she wants this, any chance to avoid something like that happening again is a welcome one.
“Right.” She nods.
“If you start screaming, or vomit, or pass out, I will cease interacting with you alltogether. That is a promise.”
“I’ll be okay.”
Pallas’s brows furrow with what could be concentration or could be concern. Their mouth opens, floundering for half a second, like they were about to say something else before closing back into a tightly pressed line. They hold their left hand out in front of them, like they’re waiting for a high five, and somehow Agnes knows that, whatever it is, it’s about to start and her anxiety feels like victory in the face of that.
At first it is nothing much, just a thin red line slicing down their middle finger. So straight and clean it could’ve been made with a scalpel. Not even that much blood. Then, simultaneously, the line begins to creep down their palm and out to each of their other fingers, dripping beads of crimson down the clammy pale of their skin. Somehow it doesn’t seem real, like Agnes is looking at a diagram in a book that’s mysteriously been animated in front of her. If Pallas feels any pain at all they don’t show it, face unchanged as the skin starts to peel back from their hand.
That does make Agnes draw in a sharp breath, even though she’s been very good at staying quiet and still up until now, fearful like she was in the classroom with Judge that any sudden action will throw the magic off-balance. But she doesn’t look away, because she asked for this, and Pallas doesn’t pause in their unfurling even if their brows furrow slightly at the sound. It happens in one smooth motion, practiced, effortless, performed with all the ceremony of taking off a glove. Agnes does not start screaming, or vomit, or pass out. She’s dressed animals before and, apart from how Pallas is not dead and the effect is contained to just the one hand, this isn’t really different. There's the careful separation of skin from muscle, the delicate definition that separates the parts underneath, the red and pinkness of it all.
Of course it’s not really the same either, because the parts of Pallas being stripped away are not set aside for later use; instead they stay floating in the air around the hand, held frozen in the same way her body had been back in the forest when they first met. Warm, wet flaps of skin, fresh as the blackgreen bark stripped from trees back home, hover drowsily like something pickled in a jar. It is also not separated, not really, everything still intertwined and beating with red and alive, muscle and artery and nerve working together, just lifted up and away. Agnes never paid her own hands much mind beyond the work they could do and how cold they got in the winter, but now she imagines her skin split apart and away the way Pallas’s is, wonders if all of that really exists inside her too. It feels wrong somehow, what’s in front of her now is just meat. A person should be made up of more than that. There are so many small parts to a hand, parts she cannot name but Pallas probably can or else they would not be able to do any of this. They don’t stop until the muddy white of their fingerbones begin to show, then the entire thing spasms with an uneven spurt of blood, a pulse that Agnes feels in her own chest, and goes totally still.
In the silence she can’t help but lean forward, marvelling at the web of flesh in front of her, and even as her scalp prickles and her stomach turns over and the air around her seems to hum with the urge to run a part of her itches to reach out a finger and touch. That really would just be the same as fiddling around with the guts of an animal, but also it would be different. Somehow she knows it would be different. Different in a way she’ll never be able to understand unless she does it. Which she won’t. Because Pallas is terrifying and this has only proved that a hundred times over.
Though maybe not as terrifying as she thought before. They did listen to her, or humour her, or whatever this is. It’s something for sure. Agnes can always make do with something. It’s how she stays alive.
Her breath ghosts across the bloody strand of a muscle, and that is what breaks the spell, that or Pallas is just done or some other condition she doesn’t know has been met. The coming back together seems to take a good deal longer than the taking apart, sweat glueing dark strands of hair to Pallas’s cheeks and the grinding of their teeth made audible despite the damp, slithering sounds of their hand seaming itself back together until the only trace of what just happened is a rusty crusting of blood packed around their nails and in their palm lines.
They pull the hand away while Agnes can’t help but keep watching, transfixed as they flex it in and out of a fist with a disinterested glare, impatient while a few stray cracks and pops fill the newfound silence. Once that’s done they hold it out one more time, as if proving to Agnes just how inconsequential vivisecting a part of them in front of her really was.
“There. Happy?” Pallas slumps slightly, tipping their head back enough that she can see their pulse fluttering frantically just beneath the skin of their neck. Again she resists the urge to touch it. She likes all of her flesh right where it is. Thank you very much.
Palla shifts to look at her and Agnes remembers that she’s been staring, not answering them, and internally kicks herself for being such an idiot.
“I am,” She breathes out, makes the monumental effort to meet their eyes. “I actually really am.”
#agnes: haha how you only ever seem to killmurder things with your powers that’s sooooo silly#pallas: i cannot express enough how that is literally all i know how to do#anyways! they’re bonding! yippee!#me writing agnes wishing she could mess around with pallass internal organs like. hold that thought for about#five more chapters girl. i’ve got you don’t worry.#she is NEVER beating the ‘obsessed with that freak’ allegations#this was one that was hard to write the little description bit for but i wanted to share pallas doing magic#because it’s one of my favourite things to write lol#wip: ghost story#pallas and agnes#creme does a writing#tw gore#tw body horror#tw sh related
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being a huge fan of tlou but also like. thinking that certain stories are built for certain mediums. like the entire theme of tlou2 is grounded and fresh because it’s a railroad/story video game that still affords you mechanical choices in how you navigate the world. i just don’t have a lot of confidence that presenting that story in a tv show with the minimal adjustments that they did in s1 will be fulfilling or compelling in any comparable way. because with tlou1 some of the like. beauty of that story was simply that it was such an emotive story contained in the medium of video games. and some of that was retained just by hitting similar or expanded emotional beats in the show, like the episodes that expanded on the life of the characters and the realities of that world. but truly so much of tlou2 emotional depth and ‘why does this story matter’ rests in the fact that’s it’s your hands on the controller, continually choosing to go forward in the story and have hope that it will work out in your-as-ellie-or-abby-or-somehow-booth’s favour. and you simply cannot get that in a non-interactive medium like television. like i do think tlou2 is a good story but it’s a good story because of the investment required by the player to keep pressing buttons and keep returning and to feel the adrenaline like responses of high intensity moments and be jarringly shifted into backstories that only increase the frustration. in general i’ve been thinking a lot about cross-medium adaptation and on the one hand i am glad that season 1 makes the story of the last of us more accessible to people who wouldn’t pick up a video game but it’s also like. maybe instead we can destigmatize video games as this inaccessible and dangerous medium a bit more instead of just . implicitly agreeing . like no maybe your mom won’t pick up a video game controller and play the last of us . but maybe you can play the game in the living room. sometimes the mediums that stories are told in aren’t just important but are actually foundational parts of how the information of a story is conveyed and that’s not only okay but is fucking fantastic. we should be happy actually that there are so many ways to collect a bunch of themes and ideas and put them together and hold them out to someone else and say “won’t you consider this with me. won’t you feel these emotions and care about these characters with me.”
#i’ve been thinking about this both for academic and personal reasons#where like. my thesis literally includes discussion of tlou2 and it’s profundity because of the players position as in control but without#real decision making power in the story#and it’s like. you’re the person animating these two ptsd ridden women who subject themselves to be puppets to their#own grief . and there’s something particularly resonant about the fact that you can’t change the Story. you can only play it.#and like . i’ve talked with my mom a lot about the last of us#since i played it the first time and it really just rocked my shit. and i remember walking out my bedroom after i’d finished tlou2#feeling that odd mixture of empty and completely fulfilled by a good story with tears in my eyes#and a few years later when i visited home and had happened to bring my ps4 along with me and i was having a rough time#my mom asked if i’d want to show her tlou. because she knew i loved it and because i’ve told her it has tropes she’d enjoy#but the only games she’ll ever play are point and click because she’s stubborn and some physicality stuff#but like i remember sitting on the couch just. playing this game and it wasn’t the exact same as her playing it herself . but sometimes her#commentary was like it was.#i just. idk man. tlou lover wants to be hyped but seeing the exact same visuals from the game just in tv show format is like#. what’s the point. why are you distilling the themes by removing the active (non)agency of the player and#replacing it with the passive role of ‘watcher’ in a story so emphatically about having an active role in the action#anyway#tagging this#tlou#for blog organization but this isn’t discourse or whatever just me thinkin my thoughts on my blog
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Just got home after a really nice night that had me laughing a lot. Had 3 pints of beer and brain shut off after the first one. Throat is already fucked up from having 3 cigarettes for the first time in weeks. Already regretting the hangover that will be present all day tomorrow. Oh and put an alarm at 8 to catch PR so at least there is that.
#had one glass of cold water which is so not enough#neighbor downstairs is making noises which I’m hating#almost cried some more in the afternoon but didn’t#thought I was going to cry when it was time to gigue out where we were gonna lunch and I couldn’t think#didn’t#genuinely can’t remember my last cigarette before tonight which I guess is mostly a good thing#the 4pm meeting with guy very annoying to work with will be unsufferable#colleague leaving is a colleague I adore and have known for 5 years I will miss him#he literally mentionned the drink we had together together with one other colleague 10 days after we stared in his goodbye speech#anyway this is fine#do need to leave before everyone I adore leave before me I think#who will organize my goodbye day and goodbye gifts otherwise#also thank you for the words on my post from this morning they did help a little I think
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the latest 666 update has been haunting me all morning lmao
#literally started making a mind map of my thoughts in class#eurgh I’m so busy today but I will try to organize my ideas at some point#prince you never fail to make me realize things I didn’t even know were there to be realized lmao#this specific angst is so disturbing and delicious to me and I can’t tell if I feel sick or excited#it also changed my perspective on this alastor and vox a lot?#idk I read it in the middle of the night so maybe I’m grossly misinterpreting#but alastor seemingly knowing that he wants to make vox happy#but not having the typical instincts for how to get there (and thus doing things that range anywhere from slightly strange to#absolutely horrific)#is kind of everything to me#ough and the fear of being disgusting to your partner from vox#digging his nails into the wound by testing whether alastor was okay with what they did#AUGH they’re both just so perfectly broken#hazbin hotel#velvetrambles
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This just in, local bisexual disaster finds his taste in women in need of a rain check- is the imagined kabedon suggestive enough to need a tag?
Hey what if Tranformers Prime really emphasised that Airachnid was very much a poacher and that her schtic as an (albeit temporary on her part) interrogator of the Decepticons were skills she had taken from poaching endangered game and mounting them on her walls?
#airachnid#tfp airachnid#breakdown#tfp breakdown#transformers#tfp#humanformers#maccadam#fanart#do i ship these two together? no. but do i stare intently as breakdown is 'intrigued' by airachnid? yeah sure#breakdown is married to his husband but he is not immune to m/f thoughts#as a breakdown fan you may think that i am far too fond of airachnid to make that statement true but like problematic women 😌#gave airachnid that full safari hunter look because i'm not the best at sci-fi clothes outside of like- cloaks but like my girl poaches ya?#gaston behaving ass- uses antlers in all of her decorating ass#takes photos of her standing over rhinos she's shot- doesn't even do it for the money does it for the fun and trophy of it#literally villainous and probably something that could have been more compelling than 'oh i have a torture rivalry for arcee'#let's just say that arcee knows after her experience with airachnid that apparently human skin is too thin to taxidermy#a fact (among her personal experience under airachnid's tools) that haunts her very much#besides in a more human-based setting it's not as if airachnid can come equipped with organic webbing#she loves her nets and probably drop any form of humanisation at the tip of a hat#a safari hat#we stan a problematic queen#or maybe i do- she is imagining pinning breakdown like one would a butterfly (at the least graphic)#ask to tag#for the kabedon part of the whole bi breakdown section#who's brain just immediately shortcutted and went 'kabedon' instead of probably a more literal butterfly pinning#because 'hot lady'
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🏨 gimme those blorbo rooms fdsfdsfsfsd, since it’s Pinterest can I ask for more than one? XD if so ima ask to Karimas and Shaheens OH and also Gideons (low key I know what valens/yazans looks like but its a good excuse for u to get to share) so if u want to Valens and Yazans wild be fun 😌
K BYEEE <3 😘
LOLL im glad you asked and yes i will give you all of them 😌😂😂
Karima: she’s obsessed with collecting room decor and she has a crochet corner, half of her decor is crocheted too honestly 😂 I think she also has a thing for animal print stuff esp curtains and pillow cases, she’d keep small ceramics stuff she made with daemon everywhere
Shaheen: idk why it was funny to imagine his college dorm lol he uses space very efficiently also his desk is very important 🧠
Gideon: his room is so big and so empty but he’s barely home so who cares, the only notable thing about it besides the diabolical toys collection on display is the display cabinet he keeps all his medals, plane models, pictures, uniforms etc in
Yazan: yazan’s room as you know is a Dumpster 😂 it’s impossible to find anything in there and it’s never tidy, also so many posters and records + ofc drum corner
Valen: very pretty but his room is an entire house in itself you need directions to where everything is 💀 Texas king bed with a canopy, mirror above bed/on ceiling, maximalist unique decor and very beautifully coordinated color wise. Also huge portraits of himself obviously lol
[OC headcanons: Picture Edition!]
#thank u for the ask bestie I had a blast heh 💗💗💗#rip I just thought about the amount of STUFF karima would have to move to her and daemon’s place FJSKAJSKSK#she’s also the type to keep a lot of crap just because they have some sentimental value to her but it’s literally just crap from#an outside perspective#I don’t think shaheen’s dorm room is that aesthetic but he does have a lot of hangers and organization stuff that sure keeps it tidy lol#yazan I think gets tidier when he gets with kiara#she’s seen the mess at its worst but yk KDJSKSJS he wouldn’t let her live like that is what I’m saying 😂#but it’s so funny that even tho she has seen the mess and sat in it that he cleans up a bit when she comes over after they started dating#he’s like shy I guess can’t invite your gf over and have your room in this state lol what if they want to kiss on the bed or something#sorry crush not gf* 😂 he’s better when he’s older fjsksjdkdj he has a vacuum cleaner obsession now#also ig when you’re gideon and you’re room is that empty you put everything you can on display to fill it#but I think he only puts up the stuff he’s proud to have on display#even if that includes your whips and ropes collection which is insane 💀#half of gideon’s stuff is at valen’s place too FRKEJAKSJ#such a waste of money on a penthouse’s rent and for what#you don’t even have a toothbrush in your own house#it’s so funny to me that he probably keeps using his travel size stuff bc he keeps forgetting to buy like#regular size toothpaste or something 😭😂#valen has been actively trying to get him to fully move in actually lol#he succeeded eventually lol#anyways I will not think about valen moving all of gideon’s clothes and things#to a closet in his dressing room and sitting with them and going through his stuff when he misses him#he’s usually hesitant about wearing them too besides a designated sweater or two so they don’t lose his scent#I will also not think about valen spraying those shirts with what’s left of gideon’s cologne or that he keeps buying it or the fact that he#gets mad when someone from the staff goes in to clean the closet or ppl he’s dated esp asking what’s in there#ok it’s 2:30 am so I’ll put myself on phone timeout now 😔#again! Ty for the ask bestie! djskskdkfj 💗💗💗#ocs#my ocs#ask
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Okay so I just finished the all of us villains duology (after postponing and then forgetting about it midway lmaooo) and it was definitely a favorite of mine! I'm going feral about it ngl. ANYWAY I think one of my favorite things is the character development of all parties. Apologies for not being able to spell
Isobel who was basically manipulated under the guise of family to participate in the tournament. Like think about it, even though she was part of the main family she really wasn't because of her parents divorce (I think my brain is fuzzy) and then once her BFF just yeets her as champion she forced into the limelight and then loses everything except the people who only care about her stays as champion aka her dad and his side of the family so she loses the ability to trust. And then the shit that happened with Alistair who she had to trust because of losing her ability to see magic and then he basically dropped her for his brother (same tho) and then having to relearn to trust and be trusted? Reid being the person to basically help her relearn to trust??? To help her figure who and what she really wants for herself and not based on what other people tell her???????
Briony who was raised to think that being a champion was an honor and not a death sentence who really thought that she could do good and then realized well fuck being a champion ain't it and tried to remedy that who sacrificed herself and who tried to be better her entire arc was genuinely one of my faves like and then the fact that she died in that room in the castle and no one will know exactly how it went down????? The what if will haunt them forever, she really was in a sense the first brick thrown ksbsjheisjkejejd
Finley mr.perfect I think him really branching himself off from those expectations was absolutely stunning and subtle. Like hold on he really gave me hs quarterback with cheerleader gf vibes who just went with his cookie cutter life??? But then discovers actually there's to life than that and I think that's great. Honestly my brain is blank with him rn but YEET I kinda wanted more interactions with him and the others
Gavin in particular is also a fave mostly because I love characters who pull themselves from the pit like he genuinely would have done whatever it takes to win and prevail simply because his family just immediately gave up on him and everyone else refused to help and I respect that something about a character refusing to let the odds win like the strength that takes is amazing and also his relationship with al was so good ngl like he genuinely hyperfixated on him and was like nah imma be the only one to kill him that's peak romance right there that slow burn enemies to lovers was PERFECT but also his relationship with hendery? I think they were really similar narrative wise, two people destined to die and didn't or in henderys case came back
Alistair WHOOOOOO BOY WHEN I SAY HE WAS FAVE BRUH I absolutely love his character, the angst! The trauma!!!! He is wrapped in grief and I am here for it. I love how when he was introduced it was basically as the big bad wolf and he was! The monster everyone feared and then Hendry dies and it's like ACTUALLY he is simply traumatized and it's beautiful. When Hendry dies it's basically revealed that it was just them against the world and when he looses that he just sinks into his grief and despair and then with isobel he kinda learns that he doesn't have to just bury himself like that and then it's revealed that the tournament can be broken and he finds some type of reprieve but when he realizes that he would loose hendery right after he immediately throws that idea away because he just lost then gained the one thing in the world that mattered and he isn't gonna lose it again and then the curse??? Be for real without it he would have impossible to defeat. He was determined to be the monster everyone said he was to keep the one thing he cared about and I fuck with shit. I also really liked how his relationship with Gavin essentially like lead to him? Processing his grief? The loss? Of hendery? And then if course hendery being the final nail in the coffin to tell him let go it's okay you will be ok. He was so important to me because he was sculpted as a monster then became a monster and then realized no I don't have to be, I'm not. Idk kshsisjksjs
Hendery my bbboooyyyyyyyy he deserved better but okay the set up for his play in Alistair being the champion like looking back at it it was foreshadowed so hard. I'm glad we got to see moments where yeah he's still a lowe like he grew up in that environment where he was expected to be a monster even if he was the 'softer' brother and getting revenge on what they did to him was expected and deserved but I also love how he was just as fierce. He was the light to Alistairs dark lol i think the focus of their sibling bond was my fave part because they grew up separated from society they didn't interact with other people their age and they knew that everyone hated them it was literally them against the world and then the family took that from them idk man I have thoughts. His fear of dying again and leaving. Like kshskjdjdjd he was definitely one of my favorite characters
Reids story being controlled by grief is PEAK he went through so much shit and decided actually imma fuck shit up and take yall down with me and that's so valid of him but I also really love how when he became a champion he realized that huh there's actually a chance. His character development in particular was one of my favorites I wish I could put my thoughts into words.
And don't even get me started on the tournament like I NEED TO KNOW THINGS like we have the vague stories of how the relics came to be but I wanna know the full details. What really started the tournament why it started WHO started it. It's implied that others tried to stop it I wanna know THEIR STORIES kskshiwhsiejsjs
#i literally just noticed my phone autocorrected hendry to hendery so sorry yall#this ended up being more about the caharcters than the plot but its already long af#you can tell what order i did these in by the length of the paragraphs lol#i would like to hear the thoughts yall have pls someone talk to me about thisssssssssss#i tried to save my thoughts and organize them but i barely made it#my memory is kinda fuzzy on the books since its been awhile off and on so sorry if smth is wrong :/#all of us villains#smileyoureinthevoid
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If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?
#I think I would have: an indoor pool (but like heavily customized with a faux weather system so I could get the feeling of swimming in#rain or fog or snow etc.). a very small arcade consisting only of skee-ball and DDR machines. and an old Library Room with authentic#historical furniture/interior design to store old books/tapestries/study room equipment/whatever other antiques I'd collect. It'd be#like some fully intricate movie set or something that would feel completely like stepping into another world/time.#Though I might would trade out the arcade for a roller skating rink.. i DO love skating....#And I wouldve put rock climbing gym because I love indoor rock climbing but.. as I understand it they have to change out the rock things#on the walls every once in a while so that you can have new routes and it doesnt get boring. and I'd rather have an activty room thats like#self sustaining and doesnt require me to hire some person to come switch things around once every month. Otherwise I would#totally do that instead.#I'm also personally not counting ''craft'' type stuff like having a pottery room kiln sort of thing because#that doesn't count as 'unnessecary' to me. since stuff like that would not at all be just a hobby I 'happen to#do sometimes for fun'#but would definitely be a career sort of thing. Like if I had the money for a fully stocked sculpture room and and a sewing room#with a good machine and etc. then I would literally be professionally selling pottery and designing clothing and etc.#so I wouldn't count it as 'just a random side room I dont need' etc.#The same way that if I played tennis professionally or as a very intense hobby that takes up most of my life/time#then I wouldn't count having a tennis court in your house to practice in as 'unncesscarry' etc.#wow that is the worst I have ever spelt that word ghbjh#Un Cess Carry#ALSO would obviously have an underground bunker of some sort with food and emergency supplies which also does not count as unnecessary to m#since it's literally like... survival.. And I thought most health organizations literally reccomend that even#the common person has a small 'go bag' prepared in their house. and like an evacuation plan in case of fire or other things#It WOULD be an unnecessary rich person thing to have a full on undergRound village or something stocked with 9000 guns and#whaetever. but I think just a basic emergency room with basic supplies could still be counted under the 'not unnecessary' requirement.#Like I would say that a sprawling courtyard of flower gardens and fountains and hedge mazes that takes up like a hundred thousand#dollars a year in maintenance would count as one of the three 'unnecessary and expensive' things. But having a small garden in the#back yard with a few planters in a little greenhouse or whatever would not. The 'excessiveness' of the thing matters lol#ANYWAY!!!#Just curious what other peoples Three Main things would be... hrrmm
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#. Some of the anti-voting posts on here are starting to sound really weird#Why are we mad at people who are scared about an upcoming election and how it could affect them#Like okay. I'm not even talking abt the national elections here#im worried about my local elections#I know Tumblr is literally not the place to do any sort of actual political organizing so I'm not coming on here to do voter outreach lmao#But guys . I don't get what making fun of people does genuinely besides making you feel superior#Ella talks#I'm open to hearing my mutuals thoughts on this bc I've seen quite a few different viewpoints from different people
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I’ve been rewatching Person of Interest and I’ve finally reached that episode in season 3. I can’t believe they fucking kill her 😭😭😭😭😭 It’s been haunting my mind since halfway through season 2 and now I’m gonna have to see it all over again.
#her death was so fucking foul#I can’t believe they killed my girl#she Did Not deserve that 😭😭😭#like I know that’s kinda the point but still#so fucking cruel#literally gobsmacked every time I think of it#absolutely incredible cinema and story telling though#I mean 10/10#gotta respect it#it was kinda perfect#there are two wolves inside of me#one is raging against her death and the injustice#and the other is admiring the brilliance of the storyline and writing#brilliance may be a strong word but I thought it was very good#good cop who refuses to be corrupted or silenced no matter how hard she is attacked#after losing friends and status and having her life relentlessly threatened and her morals tested and bent#finally completes her mission of bringing down the horrible evil shadow organization#and then almost immediately gets murdered in the street by the one last member of the organization still out there#never getting to enjoy and see her success and all the people she helped#really invokes that sense of overwhelming hopelessness#but also that you Can stop bad people#person of interest#poi#joss carter#john reese#harold finch#sameen shaw#lionel fusco#taraji p. henson#jim caviezel
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