#literally started making a mind map of my thoughts in class

[velvet-games]

the latest 666 update has been haunting me all morning lmao

[slutt4ellie]

Fated Hearts Start With Fire

PT2 - Unforeseen Harmony

masterslist

PART 1 // PART 3 // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7

Moving to a new city is tough, but it’s even harder when your roommate is a dick.

Summery - After moving in you find yourself distracted on why your roommate has this very prominent dislike when it comes to you?

Warnings -> Same mean Ellie / Reader is also rude / Alcohol usage / Mentions of previous relationships / Girl flirts with reader 🫣 / Jealousy (if u squint idk) / Slow burn!! / Toxic relationship /kissing / Smut in future chapters! / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC : 4.4k

(Not proofread)

DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸 - (takes a few seconds!)

Fuck.

To say living with Ellie is “Hell”, that would be an understatement!

The whole interaction with her the day after she came home completely plastered, the one where she said you looked “shitty”, that was about 3 and a half weeks ago.

You didn’t even understand what the actual fuck was wrong with her! And sure that seems mean, you knew how it sounded! But she’s probably the most unreasonable person you’ve ever met.

She’d get pissed if you got up to early for your classes because the moving of you just simply walking “Woke her up!”

She constantly takes your food, drinks, snacks, whatever. Basically everything that was in the fridge, and purchased by you, also now happened to be hers!

And every time you brought up how it was rude or disrespectful she’d shut it down! Saying something along the lines of “Well I lived here first!”

Living in a place that was completely foreign to you, and having the worst possible fucking roommate unsurprisingly didn’t mix well!

It also didn’t help you had a grand total of 0 friends. You were shit at small talk and conversations, that was nothing new.

But then again you also knew staying in your shared apartment with Ellie. That wasn’t something you could deal with much longer, you just had to suck it up and talk to literally anyone except for fucking her.

So that’s what you did.

Walking to class was alright, the cold air hitting the back of your neck was extremely apparent but you sucked it up.

The sun was still struggling to make it past the clouds but to be fair it was the least of your concerns, because as of now you were making some genius plan to make some friends..!

You had Jess and Alex who are great. You wouldn’t trade them for the world. But even they knew you had to get out there more.

At least that’s what they’ve been texting you all morning. Stuff along the lines of “You got this!” and “Just try not to panic”

So you kept that plastered in the front of your mind as you continued to walk down the campus trail, there was music blasting in your ears, trying to come up with conversation starters till there was a slight tap on your shoulder.

A girl, she was taller then you, had brunette hair, blue eyes, and a tiny smile on her face.

Her hand slightly moves signalling you to basically take out your headphones which you complied. You assumed it was already weird that you were staring at her for at least 5 seconds.

She spoke softly. “Hi..!” You just give her a smile back, thinking something along the lines of “Who the fuck is this??”.

“H-Hi?” You stuttered out a confused tone leaking which she clearly picked up on because she followed by saying. “I’m super fucking lost right now and you seemed approachable!” She chuckles letting out a quick “I’m a transfer student, and my class is 182..? Do you mind?” She holds out her map which shows the campus.

This leads you to quickly smile back. “Shit, I’m 182 as well. I can just walk you if you want?”

This has her immediately nod and you see the relief all over her face. “Fuck, thank you. I have no clue how to read paper maps”

“No?” You smile at her words and she follows up by shaking her head.

“Never thought I’d be in this situation, so no!” She smiles at you, causing you go stumble over your words.

“I-I uh didn’t get your name?“ You choke out.

“Fuck right! Mia, sorry!“ Mia smiles holding out her hand to shake.

You hold out your hand and shake it back. Quickly telling her your name.

༻♡︎༺

You learned that apparently during Mia’s transfer, the papers got all mixed up, which is now leading her 3 weeks after the term had started.

You and her quickly found yourselves sat beside each other during the whole lecture. (Which you hardly followed since you guys were talking a shit ton.)

And by the time it finished she didn’t hesitate to get your number, she was definitely way more bold then you..

You couldn’t tell if Mia was being simply platonic or if maybe she was trying to flirt?

You were sorta bad at signals and so when she asked you to do homework today, specifically together, quickly calling it a “Date!” you decided to deem it as non-platonic.

So here you are now walking back to your apartment shoulder to shoulder, talking about school, friends, where you both grew up, shit like that. Really just getting to know each other during the walk

It didn’t take long till you reached your apartment fumbling over the key hole as you unlocked it giving Mia a clear view of the auburn sat on your couch.

When Mia sees Ellie sat on the couch she quickly talks “Oh is she your?-“

You assumed Mia was going to finish off the sentence with “girlfriend” which had you almost shout out a quick no, because Ellie. Gross.

But! You decided as a calmer approach “No!- No we’re roommates! I- It was like an ad and shit so..”

Mia then smiles and nods looking straight at your. “Okay cool!”

Did Mia care if you had girlfriend??

But before you could even fucking talk, Ellie turns around, this makes you assume she was probably going to the kitchen, but as soon as her green eyes hit Mia’s then yours she just sorta stops. Spitting out a harsh.

“People are desperate now!” Ellie chuckles continuing to pick up where she left off and walking to the kitchen. Grabbing a few snacks.

Your eyes land on the side profile of Mia’s, her eyebrows are furrowed, she knew the comment was directed towards you. Because Ellie’s eyes stayed on you when she said it.

Mia was about to say something but you quickly grab her hand intertwining your fingers with hers.

You’ve never had a girlfriend. You didn’t know if this was normal to even do considering you and Mia were probably the furthest from dating, but you just wanted to draw her attention off of someone like Ellie.

You got the impression Ellie wouldn’t turn down a fight, which see showed with you, and those just all happened to be verbal.

You didn’t exactly want to see what the fuck would happen if Ellie got into a physical fight. Especially not with a girl which is showing at least some interest in you?

Mia’s eyebrows drop, no longer furrowed, and you see a pink rise to her cheeks.

You clear your throat, because now you’re nervous having you hand intertwined with Mia’s. So you quickly disconnect the both of your hands before talking to her..

“We can uh-my room is just over her” You point and quickly lead Mia to your room avoiding Ellie’s gaze purposefully.

You open your bedroom door, you and Mia instantly stepping into your now properly decorated bedroom.

Having a bed which you lacked just 3 weeks ago.

Mia finds herself on your bed dropping her bag on the side of the frame. She scoots back pushing her back against the headboard.

She quickly started up conversations which you grazed over considering you now have a fucking person in your room. On your bed!

“Your room’s pretty” Mia smiles

“T-thank you!” You smile looking at her finally being able to bare proper eye contact “If you came her 3 weeks ago we would have been on the floor”

Mia laughs and let’s out a “Why??”

“I had no fucking bed! Since I travelled so far, they were losers and didn’t want me bringing my queen bed on the plane?” You chuckle obviously joking which prompts a laugh from Mia.

“Seems lame” Mia smiles and you finally sit beside her on the bed.

“Super lameeee” You drag out your “e” which now left you feeling super fucking lame, it made you cringe at yourself which you tried to laugh off.

Mia smiles and chuckles, grabbing her laptop which she conveniently already took out of her bag. “I don’t wanna do all this fucking work” Mia looks at you having the blood rush straight up to your cheeks.

“Y-yeah no me neither, I already have like 3 things I gotta work on.” You chuckle looking back at her.

Mia had almost 0 problem having her eyes glance down to your lips. Yet you fucking did.

I mean sure you obviously wanted her to kiss you but you had no fucking knowledge on what to do? But before you could even think about it, Mia’s lips find themselves right on yours holding your cheek softly.

You immediately respond kissing her back having your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You were really just hoping your doing it right, but considering she’s not pulling back, you sorta come to the consensus it’s good enough!

You felt Mia’s tongue invite itself inside your mouth, her kisses now leaving and moving to your jaw and neck.

To say you were now just a bit nervous would be an understatement!

You obviously fucking liked Mia? You’d be dumb to not? But to be fair you didn’t even fucking know her middle name? Or really to much shit about her.

You didn’t know what this was? Like what if she just wants to hook up or something..! You obviously didn’t want that??

And she had to feel something was off because she pulls back her eyes now falling onto your face studying your face trying to read it. Quickly noticing how your eyes are planted on the ceiling.

“You okay..?” Mia ask having her hands drop from the back of your neck to your arms.

You didn’t even notice her lips where off your neck and jaw since you were doing your best to just disassociate.

“Hey..” Mia sits more up now her eyes meeting yours.

“W-what?” You stutter quickly swallowing the lump in your throat.

“You okay?” Mia says her eyes not leaving your face making sure she didn’t make you uncomfortable and accidentally do something wrong.

“Fuck- was I reading it wrong??” Mia ask, now starting to panic thinking she just kissed a straight girl or something?

“N-no! No! Fuck- no i’m sorry I just, I- I haven’t done this.??” You say spitting out not wanting Mia to leave or something.

“Like what? Shit with a girl” Mia says.

“At all.” You say really trying to have this justify and explain to her why the fuck you were practically tweaking out just from getting kissed.

“O-oh?” Mia says it surprised, now slowly fixing your shirt feeling bad. “Fuck i’m sorry”

Mia looks at you “I-if I knew I wouldn’t have like gone so fucking” Mia try’s to explain with her hands which failed causing you both to laugh.

“I-no your good. I just like- maybe slower.” you say looking at Mia thinking she’s gonna laugh. Not a lot of people go “slow” now, and you knew that.

“Slowwww” Mia smiles dragging out her words before softly kissing you again now not doing anything crazy like tongue, literally just kissing you.

༻♡︎༺

That was a crazy as it got. Literally just kissing which you appreciated. It also didn’t take long before the sky turned dark and Mia had to leave, you walked her out, kissed before she left and everything felt insanely intimate.

But just like in Ellie fashion she always had a whole lot to say. You hardly noticed her before she talked.

“I meant what I said by the way! Didn’t realize people were so fucking desperate” Ellie slightly laughs her hair falling over her face which she promptly moves.

You just look at her. “The fuck is your issue Ellie.” You say trying to shrug off her comments but it just doesn’t work.

“I don’t have a fucking issue, just think anyone would have to be insanely fucking desperate to go out with you, that’s all?” Her stupid fucking laugh echos your shared apartment.

“You always have a lot to say.” And you don’t even know what made you say the next sentence considering you knew hardly nothing about the situation. You had a lead, an idea of what it was so you took it.

“What happened with Cat Ellie? Dina and Jesse brought it up, fuck did she leave because of how fucking annoying you are or?”

It didn’t take long till her face dropped the smug smirk no longer planted on her face.

Guilt stuck you hard. Sure you didn’t like Ellie but the fact her eyes are glazing over, just from one fucking sentence means you probably crossed a line.

I mean was it fair she could say all this shit about you with nothing in return. Obviously no?

But then again you didn’t know what actually happened with this Cat? You knew it was some sorta “situation” at least that’s how Jesse worded it a few weeks ago. But then again it wasn’t your place to bring it up.

“Fuck you.” Ellie’s voice chokes up for the first time in god knows how long. She turns around. So clearly the Cat thing is personal! You quickly thought to yourself!

“Ellie..” You follow and she turns around and pushes you, which almost has you fall straight back.

“Fuck off!” Ellie says her voice now stern, fist clenching at her sides.

There was no doubt she was probably going to punch you, but luckily there was a knock on your guys door.

“Ellie let us innnnn!” Dina’s cheerful voice comes through the door.

Almost immediately Ellie walks over shoving you, in the process her shoulder comes slamming against yours which almost causes you to fall back.

You hear the door open and a pair of footsteps enter. Ellie doesn’t even bother to great them.

“Okayy? Rude” Dina chuckles thinking it’s just Ellie being Ellie.

But when Ellie also glances past her and sits on the couch. Dina starts to get a weird vibe.

Dina slowly turns her body towards you “Hey!”

You don’t even know what to reply with. You just let out a slight “Hi.”

Dina tilts her head, her eyes glancing from you back to Ellie. Both of your eyes seem heavy. Jesse quickly puts down alcohol and snacks on the kitchen counter.

Quickly Finding himself beside Ellie on the couch which she quickly shoves over to the furthest cushion, being the possible furthest away from him. Hardly matters though because she stands up. “The fuck?”

He mutters looking at Ellie’s body slowly leaving, trailing to her room.

“What happened” Dina says both her eyes flat on you.

“I-I brought up Cat.” You mutter out.

Just by the fact Dina’s eyes trail straight to Jesse and Jesse immediately stands up walking down the hall “Imma check on her”

Dina nods and looks back at you once again. “What’d you say…?” Dina’s tone is stern, her cheerful tone now lacking. She’s literally just trying to figure out what happened.

“I-I just, she was being m-mean to mi-mia and me-“ You try and spit out but Dina cuts you off clearly not trying to hear about someone she literally doesn’t know.

“Just what did you say!” Dina says fully over the rambling, she knows whatever the fuck you said must be bad because Jesse is still trying to get into Ellie’s room.

“I-I just said something like ‘did Cat leave you because you’re annoying’! I didn’t- I didn’t except shit. Like I didn’t except it to actually strike a nerve??” You quickly say looking down embarrassed of your words. “I brought yours and Jesses name up accidentally, I swear!” You quickly add.

“Shit..” Dina sighs rubbing her hand down her face letting out a groan. You don’t know the story and Dina’s trying to remember that.

Dina was about to talk more but you quickly cut her off. “I swear I didn’t- I didn’t except her to freak?”

Dina shakes her head. “You don’t know the story. Okay.”

You don’t even know why you care. I mean Ellie’s a dick, she’s been for the past 3 weeks. But you never wanted to actually hurt her? You wouldn’t consider yourself “mean”. But as much as you convince yourself you no longer seems if you care you just spit out.

“I- then tell me..the story?” You say.

2 months earlier.

(Ellie)

“Ellie” Dina says laying on Ellie’s bed looking at her.

Ellie’s spacing out looking at her celling.

“El!” Dina says a bit louder sitting up waving her hand over Ellie’s face having Ellie quickly snap out of it.

“Fuck yeah” Ellie says her voice cracking trying to form a smile which feels all to fucking forced..

“We should go out tonight. You know get out of the apartment that has Cat in it.” Dina says looking at Ellie’s facial expression. The idea seems uncomfortable. Going out without Cat at this point felt foreign...just weird…

“I don’t know.” Ellie fiddles with her hands instead of facing Dina’s brown eyes which feel like they’re piercing into her thoughts right now.

“It’s a break. I mean I could invite her?” Ellie suggest looking at Dina almost like she wants approval.

Dina knows the idea probably isn’t smart but she sorta shrugs. After all it’s just a break. Not a breakup.

“Yeah! I can bring Jesse too” Dina smiles suggesting looking at Ellie.

Ellie’s eyes finally light up like they used to.

“I’ll ask then!” Ellie quickly stands up smiling at Dina before leaving her bedroom which just a few nights ago, had Cat still sleeping in it.

—————————

The argument between Cat and Ellie was stupid. Ellie and Cat wanted to go do something special for their 1st year anniversary. They had an idea to go somewhere special, like a foreign country or something. Just to get out, spend quality time. Shit like that.

Then the first problem came. Ellie and Cat had two very fucking different budgets. Ellie has lived in New York for a bit and had a stable job.

A type of job she could live off of.

Then Cat. Cat definitely had a better job, she wasn’t shy to bring it up either, quickly pointing out all the places Ellie could realistically afford were “shitty” and “gross” instantly forming a fight.

“Why do you act like i’m not trying?” Ellie says looking at Cat tears already brewing on her lower eyelid..

“I’m not acting like anything Ellie?” Cat says scoffing sarcastically. Almost like she’s blaming Ellie. “I just think your job clearly isn’t paying enough.”

“Doesn’t it matter we’re going together?” Ellie says looking at back at Cat now standing up.

Cat follows up by standing in front of Ellie. “Ellie don’t pull that shit!” Cats tone is getting louder and she shakes her head fast.

“I’m not pulling anything! You’re acting like me not being able to afford places that are 700+ dollars is like i’m purposefully doing this!” Ellie’s tone is also getting but it has more cracks rather then Cats.

“Okay Ellie.” Cat says sarcastically just rolling her eyes, grabbing her bag.

Ellies eyes are shifting from Cats hands, to the clothes she’s grabbing, and back to the bag. “W-where are you going?”

Cat sighs and shakes her head. “I just want space. I’m gonna stay at a friends tonight.”

Ellies almost baffled. Confusion is flowing all throughout her brain. “Why?” Ellies eyes again are glossy. ‘this isn’t a breakup, this isn’t a breakup, this isn’t a breakup.’

“We clearly fucking need a break Ellie!” Cats words echo throughout Ellies brain..

“W-“ But before Ellie could even finish her sentence a slam of the front door rings Ellie’s ears and she’s now left alone in their shared bedroom.

—————————

Even though Dina thought it was stupid Ellie was shoulder to shoulder with Cat as they stand outside in the alley, which the club is left of.

Ellie’s eyes are the brightest they’ve been since that day. So even if Dina thinks Ellie even talking to Cat after the fight was dumb, if Ellie’s happy. That’s what matters.

The reason they were all outside the alleyway of the club is because Jesse is the only 21 year old in their whole group so he had let them all in through the back.

And as soon as the door opened and the music poured out Dina, Ellie, and Cat all entered.

It really didn’t take long till they were all drunk, they easily got served so they got loaded up fast with shots, the whole group downing them in mere minutes.

Ellie was enjoying her night, at the end of the day she was with Cat?

The girl she loved no matter what..

“I’m gonna go get us drinks!” Cat says talking into Ellie’s ear so she can hear over the loud music.

Ellie quickly gives Cat and thumbs up and a slight smile. “Okay!”

10 minutes go by, still no cat.

it’s been 10 minutes since Cats been gone, Ellie now just wants to make sure Cats okay? It shouldn’t take that long yet it was?

Ellie quickly taps Dina’s shoulder as she dances with Jesse. And leans into her ear “I’m gonna go find Cat! She’s been gone a bit!” Ellie says and Dina nods responding with a quick.

“Want me to come?” Dina smiles looking at Ellie.

Ellie shakes her head and smiles point at Jesse. “Nah! Enjoy dancing!”

Dina chuckle and nods watching as Ellie disappears in the crowd.

Ellie is pushing through a few bodies not seeing anyone who represents Cat getting drinks. Her eyes are scanning all over debating whether or not she should check inside the washrooms?

Until she sees Cats head in the middle of the dance floor. “Cat!” Ellie yells smiling until she sees it. Her voice falls short and her smile fades.

Cats kissing another girl.

Ellie’s whole face turns pale and she gets hit with a wave a nausea that hits her like a brick.

Everything goes in a fucking blur. Ellie’s shoving through a shit ton of bodies. Tears streaming.

The scene is..ugly..

But she’s been dating Cat for almost a year. All of it, it’s down the drain in the matter of seconds. Ellie’s hands are shaking as she pushes the alleyway door open quickly trying to calm the fuck down.

Ellie sits down on the ground her chest falling up and down as her vision blurs. Black spots are appearing in her eyes and she feels like she can hardly breath.

It doesn’t take long till she can hear Dina’s muffled voice. “Jesse! She’s out here!” Dina says crouching down rubbing Ellie’s back.

Ellie assumes she hit Dina on the way out since she was so fast to find her. Ellie’s having a full blown panic attack and it’s not going away.

Jesse also crouches down beside Dina, reaching his arm on Ellie’s shoulder asking Dina if she saw what even happened.

Dina continues telling Ellie to breath. She softly rest Ellie’s hand above her chest to follow her own breathing pattern. “Ellie in…and out”

Dina looks at Jesse. “Wanna get her some water.”

Jesse quickly nods running over to the convenience store which is across the street.

As soon as Jesses leaves, Dina looks at Ellie. “Ellie what happened.”

The sparkle which was in Ellie’s eyes during the beginning of the night is now gone. And she just shakes her head. “Cat kissed some girl. I saw her while-while it was happening.”

Ellie try’s to clear her throat, a cover to stop the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes again.

After that night Ellie didn’t want to feel.

So she made the decision she was done with trying to feel.

Present

(You)

“Fuck.” You sigh now realizing how much you fucked up. You brought up a situation you knew literally nothing about and probably just gave Ellie new fresh wounds which were probably just healing. “I thought the girl who moved out went back to her hometown or something, It was Cat though..?”

“She probably didn’t feel like explaining it” Dina let’s out a dry chuckle which is to cover how fucked the whole situation is.

“Listen it’s not your fault.” Dina sighs shaking her head.

“You didn’t know?” Dina tilts her head her eyes finally meeting yours.. “Trust me I know Ellie can be a dick.” Dina says rubbing your shoulder, she doesn’t want you to feel guilty.

“Give her time to ease up” Dina nods trying to reassure you her behaviour will be better.

“I’ve gave her 3 fucking weeks?” You say. Almost all your sympathy leaving your body once again. Sure you wanted to feel bad for Ellie? But she’s mean all the fucking time.

What happened to her unfortunately doesn’t excuse that.

“I feel bad, a-and I get what happened to her isn’t fair. I know it wasn’t right for me to say what I did, but it’s also not fair for her to take it out on me Dina.” You say looking at Dina and Dina’s head drops.

“I’ve been friends with Ellie since freshman year. I swear to you she’s only ever fucking been like this these last 2 months.” Dina says, it’s like she’s trying to convince you that Ellie’s not a complete dick. Which you’re finding hard to believe.

Just as you were about to speak. Ellie walks out of her bedroom with Jesse. She looks straight at Dina then you, for the first time in fucking weeks Ellie doesn’t go straight to insulting you.

You can tell by the fact her eyes are now red she’s obviously been crying. You’ve never seen vulnerable before. Never with red eyes, her nose still sniffling, the outer area of her eyes still wet, you haven’t ever seen Ellie like this..

You didn’t say anything considering you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt since you were 100% the cause to her crying.

Your eyes follow Dina as you see her step forward and just hug Ellie. Ellie doesn’t push back or refuse. She just wraps her arms back around Dina.

Ellie’s face goes in Dina’s neck and it’s like a different version of Ellie.

Not like the version you’ve constantly been seeing.

You’ve seen Ellie like this before, it was when she was sleeping on the couch after coming home drunk with Dina and Jesse..

A version of her which was calm and real. Not someone behind a dark, mad, rude, persona. Probably the Ellie before Cat decided to fuck her up.

The Ellie which felt.

A/N -> Part 2 is here!!

I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, because I did actually enjoy writing this! I already have a full plot lay out for the 3 part so expect that maybe next week. (don’t hold me to that 😭)

I’m gonna shift from a bit of the angst because I feel like i’m sorta shit at writing it, idkkkk!

I’m still super busy with school but so far my work load has been going down a bit, so I plan to work on obviously my other fics while still prioritizing this one! (Because I plan 5-6 parts)

That’s all! Ty again for reading likes and reblogs are really appreciated! 🫶🏽

Taglist - @a-little-bit-of-everybody @bready101 @shiimer @boobdrug @amberputh

[bittersweetbonbon]

rushed thesis on a sburbian reading of on guard 43/admonition

okay. so. my theorem is that each of the seven "main characters" of on guard 43 can be mapped to a homestuck aspect, and ill describe (messily) the reasons why below. im not gonna go over all of them, since i only have a decent grasp on a few on them, so if anyone wants to chime in with their thoughts, PLEASE feel free!

placeholder mcdoctorate? time player. 100%. he is doing time player shit all fucking day. its weird and abstracted time player shit, but that's because the foundation isn't playing by sburb rules. anyways, the REISNO cannon is literally a time travel device, just like dave's turntables and aradia's quartz music boxes. he has to kill alternate versions of his friends, and time players are heavily associated with death. the REISNO cannon created a doomed timeline that was brought to end by outside forces. he's even in contact with versions of himself from the future. he's a goddamn sburb time player, i swear to fucking fuck. if it wasn't intentional on the author's part, then hussian brain programming must be installed very, very deep indeed.

lillian lillihammer? mind player. shes very concerned with her self, and meddles with other people's states of mind (thats what memetics are for, after all) as well as her own. her eidetic memory? memories are how the brain creates the mind. hers can't be tampered with that easily, even with timeline shifts. mind player trait. also, she ran off while transitioning so nobody she knew would perceive her transition, which feels very mind player to me for reasons i can't articulate since i'm very tired while writing this.

doctor william wallace wettle? light player. either fully inverted light player, or just a class that starts with an absolute fuckton of negative aspect relation. light isn't just about information, it's about luck, and wettle is incredibly lacking in both departments, to an absolute comical degree. he even degrades the luck of those around him! and while some people would argue "oh thats just void aspect-" i have to disagree. void is about concealment of information, not just a lacking of it, and also void has nothing to do with luckiness whatsoever? and also....

harold blank? void player. i think. this one im not too sure on, actually, but for one, i couldnt resist the pun of blank void, but also, it seems to me that wettle and blank are both inverted of their aspects. wettle is incredibly unlucky, and blank's informational exposition is scattered throughout various tales - always just enough information to provide context, but nothing more. honestly, it might be that they're absorbing each other's aspects, in some fucked up way, or something. anyways, his whole deal of pouring over the past to find things that might happen in the future reads as void to me, and also as seer class. determining what isn't yet from what already is or isn't and then using that to prevent (or void out) an event entirely.

karen elstrom? heart player. an inversion of the mind aspect, karen is both incredibly gullible and difficult to influence. she can't see the trees for the forest, so to speak. honestly she seems concerned with how people view her, but in the opposite way to lillian. she wants people to dislike her, to hate her, as it makes her job of managing the relationships of others easier. and the heart aspect is all about relationships. better to take herself out of the equation, or keep herself as a static variable, right?

anyways, yeah, that's my rushed and honestly incomplete thesis on what aspects the on guard 43 characters would be. hope you enjoyed!!

[delphinus-dancer]

A deep dive into a swan lake and flipping the (metaphorical, sadly) bird:

A Mihaly-centric view of JD 2024 story mode

(because they’re my favorite and I’ve thought about this way too much over the past few days weeks) Spoilers for JD 24 in the almost-essay under the cut, including some images!

Starting off with Mihaly’s first appearance in the story mode in Canned Heat, it seems like not too much time has passed since the end of jd23- Sara seems to be at the same party, Jack still at the tower, etc. (how Brezziana got to the beach that fast and had a workout class is something I’m going to guess was preplanned before everything went down).

We can assume this would be the first time Mihaly’s come back to their room since then (which makes the idea of Wanderlust FaceTiming everyone like 5 minutes after they left even funnier). Of course there’s the shot of Mihaly ripping the poster off the wall, which probably puts their feelings into words better than anything else within an E10 rating. <Side note: I don’t know much on lore but does the setting mean there’s a chance they’re from Eternyx? Both maps started in dark crowd/nighttime so wasn’t sure if confirmed or not>

While Sara has the spot pretty much clinched for a Night Swan’s foil, Mihaly is a really close second. This shot literally puts it into perspective- Mihaly’s color scheme has as many color elements of Master Panda’s (shirt/jacket/foot wraps) as it does Night Swan’s (hair-that-perfectly-matches-the-poster/ gold of headphones and glasses/pants). Their dance style also overlaps moreso with hers than the other dancers, with the precision and technique of their moves, from the footwork and leaps of Rather Be to the dramatic powerful motions of their Swan Lake part. It’s pretty obvious who the song is directed to, and what makes the song so interesting compared to their last story mode one is how loose it feels. This is unlike their usual technical style because of the connection to Night Swan with the control demanded of certain moves that they’ve presumably mastered- maybe they were fueled by a desire to achieve her success. Regardless, the song and emotion fueled, less ‘perfect’ dance lets Mihaly basically flip the bird at Night Swan’s corrupted idea of perfection. Either way, it culminates in them achieving a new high in their training with channeling their ‘true’ inspiration of the (master) panda. Although they retain most of their same costume after sort of becoming a furry?, a noticeable change is that the black leggings are understandably switched to something looser- but to the navy color of master panda instead of Mihaly’s black.

What’s also interesting is that the specific point Night Swan interrupts Mihaly’s song isn’t at the beginning like Brezziana/Sara/Jack’s or the very end like Wanderlust, but at the climax of their journey for the song. Not only does this imply that she may have been watching the entire time but choose to interfere later, but she is also the only character to see the Panda form before Swan Lake.

As Night Swan basically invades Mihaly’s //mind/headspace/flowspace?/no idea on the lore// they initially try to fight her off, but unlike Brezziana in her map, don’t fight until the end. Although Mihaly themselves wasn’t being corrupted like the background coaches in Brezziana’s map, they still let themselves, in a sense, lose a more internal battle to Night Swan as they leave the metaphorical and literal height of their understanding and power in the Flow and come back to the real world.

This then takes us straight into Swan Lake, which is really interesting for the Night Swan/Mihaly interactions and how they compare to the other dancers. Although from a format standpoint it makes sense for the movements in the bridge to be different, there are more differences too.

A big one that I only realized once I watched Majesty again is how the other swan soldiers/minions were turned back- and that was mainly by doing the same moves to ultimately come together and bring the dancers back. Here it’s the opposite for effectiveness- what causes Wanderlust and Brezziana to fail is that they think that’s how to stop Sara. Sara matches the moves in a way that <well> matches, if not surpasses the power that they put in. As a result of meeting them head on and assuming control, Sarah actively corrupts the two of them. She makes motions to bring in the smoke, and both of them also are stationary/surrendering as their color drains.

When it gets to Mihaly, the dynamic with Sara changes completely. While Sara starts off watching with the same expression as when the others challenged her, it shifts as she realizes she can’t emulate what Mihaly does, with the movements almost like Night Swan’s-dramatic and slower. It comes to a head when Mihaly channels the panda again and visibly knocks Sara back, so she’s unable to push any of the smoke towards them.

Sara’s expression also becomes noticeably softer for the rest of Mihaly’s part, and she doesn’t reassert that dominance/control she had earlier- with dancing or the smoke. See how she looks almost pensive in the photos above/below, especially compared to the earlier parts.

Speaking of the smoke, this is the key part about Night Swan seeing the panda earlier. She knows it exists and how to force it off after the earlier song, and as Sara is incapacitated/distracted, she presumably sends down the smoke that starts attacking Mihaly in Panda form.

This attack is why despite having a chance to get through to Sara, Mihaly still ends up failing as they return to normal. However, they are the only character to be so dynamic in their active corruption. Not only does Mihaly manage to send a signal out to Jack, which was a display of power never seen from them previously, but they also do it as they are actively losing their color and control. Unlike the other dances, Mihaly still moves as they lose control, possibly having the strength to continue to fight had they not realized that Night Swan was attacking alongside Sara.

Although the signal is in the shape of a pawprint, its underlying meaning is more than just a plot device to send Jack on a wild goose chase (pun intended that I couldn’t pass up). With the way it opens to form a window into the location from such a distance, it almost seems to be a step away from a full fledged portal. With the sudden appearance of a new power, it’s also an interesting parallel to Night Swan, who here uses powers to create a unique form of control that wasn’t seen in the previous game and who regularly uses portals with her magic.

Another note is the lights that appear for each of the dancers in the upper left corner during the song as they take on Sara. While Brezziana and Wanderlust’s fade out a few moves before they fall, Mihaly’s still goes strong even as they completely turn grey, as seen the the photos above. This could be a possible indication to them having a more stable power than the other dancers, or a form of magic more comparable/competitive with Night Swan’s. Also to note about the lights: looking on the floor during the song, the diamonds flash 3 colors: hot pink (Night Swan), a deep green (Sara, especially while corrupted- her original outfit but darker), and a teal (the exact same color as Mihaly’s flow energy). Like everything else, this is a stretch, but it could possibly mean that Night Swan’s control and magic background could have stemmed from a pure form of flow like Mihaly practices.

This could also be a factor in why they retain the most of their original outfit in the corrupted design- possibly a form of resistance like they displayed during swan lake or general flow magic? Notice that while they have significant changes to their robe/face/accessories, their feather motifs are much less pronounced than the others, simply appearing as marks on the robe that can be mistaken for stripes, rather than overt feathers like Wanderlust/Sara or Sara/Brezziana’s feather tights. Unlike the others, Mihaly keeps their leggings exactly the same (which were notably lost in the panda form, as mentioned earlier), and interestingly enough, their wraps. I initially thought that Night Swan would have changed that to something like ballet slippers with ribbons, so I think it’s really interesting that they are the only dancer who had any details remain exactly the same, especially one that had unique opportunities to be changed.

Going off of that, since they were the last to turn and have (some?) control over their outfit and (some?) magic that may be similar to Night Swan, I could see them being the first/easiest coach for Jack or someone else to turn back when he (hopefully) takes on the coaches.

One last note is the number of maps per story mode coach at this point. Counting Stronger /Survivor, and Treasure/Lose Yourself (hopefully coming soon after that ending!), that seems to be setting a trend for the other coaches to potentially have an additional map as well. If so, maybe that would be one where Mihaly could individually be freed, or a chance for them to further explore their rapidly developing powers (maybe in a confrontation with Night Swan?? a girl can dream).

And there y’all have it! Thank you for somehow reading to the end!! Happy dancing!!

this took forever oh my god

[niuniente]

I’m going to tell you a past life related little thingy because why not :3

Since I was very little, I had this obsessive thought of “What would I do if I was locked in a room with no escape, and men storm in with guns and start to shoot randomly?” (mind you this is Finland, gun laws are extremely tight and controlled, and I literally grew up in a rural forest as far away from civilization as one possibly can with a family). I always came into the same conclusion; I would throw myself on the floor and pretend I’m dead and just hope for the best.

When I was 9, we started geography studies. As teacher was showing us a map of East Asia and mentioned Laos, my mind was blown. I literally yelled during the class “Laos! Oh wow, I must go there! Look, it’s Laos!”

Even as a 9yo I understood that I knew nothing of Laos - I didn’t even know such a country existed a second ago - but I had a burning desire to go there. Like, RIGHT NOW. On this second! I found it odd myself but on the other hand, I was just really excited about this discovery of Laos.

Around my teens, I was obsessed with English military words, American military, and Vietnam war movies. I wrote down from an English-Finnish dictionary all military related words I could find - while at the same time thinking that this is absurd, I don’t know why I’m doing this but I MUST do it. I watched all Vietnam war related movies I could find. I also loved guns, I still kind of do but not as much as when I was a younger.

From my childhood to my late teens, I had a white round dot on my stomach. It always confused me because it looked exactly like the scar my father has got when he fell on a motorcycle at age 19. Mine was just smaller. I wondered where I had got it as it clearly wasn’t a birth mark and if I had hurt myself, my gossip loving mother would have told me that story billions of times.

I’ve always disliked Finnish summer, especially in the country side. There’s too much foliage for my taste. I love monoculture forests the best and places where you can see really far.

In my early twenties, when I started to get more into doing readings and meditating, I once decided to see if I could pick up any past lives for myself. What I got was that I was a man during Vietnam war and I died in 1964. That’s all. Over the many years as I mulled this and tried to remember more, I started to have a feeling that I wasn’t hiding from Americans only but from my own people, too. And that there were a group of men, like me, and we needed to hide. Anyone could kill us at any time.

In my early 30′s, I had a vivid dream. I was in a room with other people. American soldiers kicked the door in (3 men) and started to aimlessly shoot at us. I threw myself on the floor on my stomach, pretending to be dead. 3 pullets hit me. I felt them. It stung. I managed to think, horrified “Oh God, I’m hit!” and the next second I was dead. I separated from my body and started to slowly float upwards, feeling really happy, peaceful and serene. Dying was really easy and simple. The dying process - getting shot - that was scary.

I counted 1+1 and concluded that my childhood obsessions were related to this past life in the 1960′s but Laos didn’t make any sense. I knew I wasn’t in Vietnam and the Vietnam war wasn’t the exact thing but I didn’t know what else it could be - nor I bothered to find out.

Recently, I was listening to a podcast of an American man. He said “Everyone knows Vietnam war but how many of you have heard of The Secret War of CIA, which happened at the same time  - except it was in Laos?”

Turns out that while Vietnam War was on, there was the Laotian Civil War in Laos! It lasted almost 20 years, from 1950′s to 1970′s - matching my death decade. Americans weren’t supposed to be there and publicly they weren’t, but in secrecy CIA and American military were involved. I didn’t know!

Suddenly, it made all sense that in the past life, I had to hide from American and my own people, and that the war wasn’t Vietnam War. It was a civil war. Why I don’t still like forests where I can’t see far as the enemy can hide anywhere in there. Sometimes I wonder if my stomach issues are due two of the bullets hitting my stomach. It’s a  very common phenomena that old injuries, especially if the cause of death, carry over as health issues, scars, birthmarks etc. to next lives.

I rarely get official solid proves from past lives as majority of our lives in the past are just ordinary and common ones. Just like you and me today. So, I’m happy about this!

I don’t think I need to visit Laos. Whatever was there has been handled in that life-time. But if I get a chance to go there as “Well, why not!” then definitely well, why not! 

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

hi hello how are you? i have a genuine question, hope it’s appreciated but like im literally curious on how your mind works, ANYWAY SO.

first of all, have you already thought about the general lines of the whole plot of your stories or are you freestyling your way through them?😭 like do the ideas pop up from time to time, even tho you have the story “mapped out” OR you don’t have a clue and just go with the flow (and somehow it turns absolutely perfect)

staying on that, do you think/already know if you’ll be adding Wanda in Love and Liabilities too? would be an interesting turn of events, LIKE SHES IN HER CLASS AND THEY BECAME FRIENDS AND AGATHA GETS JEALOUS (sorry my mind wanders, im mixing up the stories😭) but yeah maybe it wouldn’t make sense you’re right…wait you haven’t even replied yet OKAY IM CHAOTIC goodbye

(THOUGH even if it’s “nothing new” im sure that if u did add her, you would do it in such an inventive way that it would be perfect, cause your ideas are golden and sorry i’m a sucker for your writing i can’t get over it. I WILL STOP…eventually…or even if u tell me to stop cause i don’t wanna weird u out idk)

Hi!

I always have the main plot mapped out in my head for my fics. Usually I get ideas based off of songs, I listen to way too much music lol. So for example, with Lark there were two pieces of music that inspired it, and I had the whole fic from start to end planned out while listening. I will typically not be quite as set with subplots, secondary characters, and things of that nature, as within editing I almost always change a lot. Not sure if that's the best way to go about it, but that's how my brain has always worked lmao. Everything is music based, you see.

Sooooooo with Wanda in Love & Liabilities, she is the defendant in the case, and is Agatha's client. I haven't introduced her directly for a reason, just brief mentions in the present day chapters, but she will be popping up more as the story progresses and we get to the trial. How Wanda got to know Agatha, why Agatha's representing her, that sort of thing. I do loveee your idea though, haha. Wanda is one of my favorite characters to write- I find her to be very very intriguing, especially in the MCU and her connection to Agatha, and I'm praying for her inevitable return.

Also thank you so much for sending this in!! I mainly just talk about my writing process with my girlfriend since she reads over all my stories and edits for me :) But it's nice to type it out as well, haha. I hope my thoughts make sense! Thank you again <3

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[damonfuckingalbarn]

Can you do the second part of thehistory of a cheating heart ? ( When you can or have time )

Oh my gosh, I actually!!! Wrote something!!!

Part one is here, if you want to refresh your memory before you read this.

“The History of a Cheating Heart” 2014 Damon x Reader (Part 2)

Pairing - 2014 Damon x Reader

Words- 1196

Warnings- No warnings, it’s all a bit sappy

My requests are open but I am SUPER slow at writing them at the minute, but still do send them over as I’m answering them on a bit of an adhoc basis at the minute.

You weren’t sure if you’d ever felt this worried about knocking on a door in your life. You couldn’t even stall and pretend you couldn’t find his house, ever since he had given you his address you’d looked it up on Google maps so many times you almost felt embarrassed.

You weren’t surprised he’d ended up living in Notting Hill, it was always one of your favourite places to visit when you were together. Though, you were surprised he still lived there after all these years, you would have thought it was starting to grow too gentrified for his liking nowadays.

You walked up the short path before inhaling deeply and knocking on the door, you knew that if you’d waited any longer you’d talk yourself out of it.

It didn’t take him long to answer the door and as soon as you saw his smile the worry that had built up inside of you, quite literally, melted away.

“Hi darling” He grinned, opening the door further to let you in before gently brushing his lips against your cheek as he greeted you “How are you?”

“I’m good thank you, how are you?” You responded as you placed your coat into his outreached hands, watching as he disappeared into a small cupboard with it.

“I’m all the better now you’re here” He called out to you, making your already red cheeks grow warmer.

You knew this was unbelievably tame flirting for Damon, in fact you were pretty sure he wouldn’t even class it as flirting, but it had been such a long time since anyone had spoken to you like that, let alone it being the man you used to be so madly in love with.

“I wasn’t completely sure what to cook, if I’m honest” He told you as he started walking through to, you presumed, the kitchen “I was going to order something but I thought that was cheating”

You laughed at his words, appreciating being behind him so you could quickly glance at the decor as best as you could. There were certain African paintings, wooden sculptures and little trinkets that just screamed Damon to you, but there were also aspects that you could have never imagined him choosing himself and you couldn’t help but wonder if they had been chosen by his last girlfriend.

“Sorry everything’s so mismatched” He laughed softly, you felt a pang of nausea when you realised you hadn’t been that discreet and he had been watching you take in your surroundings “My daughter chose a lot of the stuff and I want here to feel as homely as possible for her, even though she doesn’t always stay here”

You took a seat at the kitchen island, nodding your head as he gestured towards a bottle of wine before thinking about your next words carefully.

“Tell me about your daughter” You prompted, not being able to miss the smile that came across his face just at the thought of her.

“She’s amazing, you would love her” He gushed, sitting down next to you before taking a sip from his wine “She keeps me on my toes, I miss her when she’s not here”

Before you could comprehend what you were doing you reached across and have his hand a reassuring squeeze. You didn’t want to pressure him into saying anything but you felt like you had to know what he’d been doing all these years.

“If you don’t mind me asking Dames” you paused slightly, letting your hand rest on top of his “what happened with-“

“-Missy-“

“- sorry, what happened with Missy’s mum?”

“She erm, well she’s amazing but we just sort of realised that we were really meant to just be friends” He shared, taking a sip from his glass before glancing over at you “No matter what happened between us she gave me Missy and for that, I’ll forever be grateful to her”

“When did you break up?” You probed gently, a big part of you couldn’t help but wonder if Damon’s unfaithful habits had travelled into that relationship too.

“Officially, about 6 months after Missy was born, but we lived together for almost five years to try and make raising Missy a little bit easier” He pulled a slight face before shaking his head “But enough about that, tell me everything I’ve missed since I last saw you”

The conversation between you flowed as easily as it ever did and a part of you felt like you didn’t have almost twenty years to fill each other in on.

You couldn’t help but notice all of the small details he had clearly deliberately put around the house. You were a creature of habit and luckily for him, none of your favourites had really changed in the past years, as there was a bunch of your favourite flowers on the table, your favourite wine pouring freely and your favourite dinner being served up.

All throughout the dinner, the same question kept on spinning around in your head ‘What did he want to get out of this?’

For you there were two easy answers, a shag and a relationship. You laughed at how fickle your morals were, ready to drop to your knees the second time you’d seen him, but then he had always had that effect on you.

You shook your head to almost try and dispel all of those thoughts, you had to remind yourself that you were in his company, he was sitting right there.

“Still a day dreamer” He grinned, his hand reaching out to squeeze yours, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry Dames, I just, I just honestly can’t believe I’m sitting here” You laughed lightly before taking a sip of your wine “With you”

“That makes two of us” He dropped his eyes from yours, shaking his head slightly before making eye contact with you again “I feel so lucky that you’re here after everything I did, it almost feels like it’s too good to be true”

“Damon, it’s in the past, I’m over it and clearly you’re not the same person you used to be” You tried to reassure him, though you knew your words weren’t reaching him.

“I’m not the same person, I’ve changed for sure” You noticed how he caught his breath, almost as though he was hesitating on his next words “Though one thing that’s never changed is how I feel about you”

You suddenly felt very aware of his hand that was still resting on top of yours.

“Leaving you and treating you the way I did has been my biggest regret” He sighed, you subconsciously held onto his hand tighter “Not a day goes by where I don’t think about you and wish I could go back in time and change everything so that we would still be together now”

“Damon” You responded quietly, a part of you wondering if he could hear your heart pounding “I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t need to say anything darling” He mused, a smile growing on his lips as your eyes met “Just know that I love you, I always have done and I always will do”

[magpies4nights]

Do you guys think Dummy from GASA4AM:SNACKCORE knows how to use a microwave (Dev log #9)

Hiiiii everyone, I am back again. I'm starting to get used to my new classes, which may be considered a while for some people. I would have updated y'all last week, but I had NOTHING but music. and honestly, that's just boring. Literally last week I thought I was being nice to myself by not doing my homework for a very important class.... It was due the next day. I cried myself to sleep at 3 am because of how terrible I was with managing myself. I mean my brain was melting since I took a quiz before that and the teacher was relatively very demanding with the questions.... sooo yeah. I put this on myself......haha......... I lived though. Miraculously.

(sorry)

I’ve still been working on more locations! Whoopee! The player's room is done. there iiiiiis another location that was not originally on the GASA4 map like ever but was on Todd's Breakfast Adventure, but I decided since it was associated with spooky shit, you know damn well I'm gonna use it. I started working on the upstairs section of it. I also reworked the GASA4 house because I didn't like the way it was handled before, and yeah it's a bit glitchy but it works for how I want it to be.

I'm almost done with making the music. I just have to make music for outside the house and the Diner, and then after the 10th dev log you guys will be spared from any of my music.

Aaaaanyways, here is some of the music I made recently. They're pretty short compared to the usual because they're gonna be looped a lot (one of the songs has me singing in it (and is the only song with vocals, because I hated the vocals for Semicolon, so I had to rip 'em out), and I can't sing. You have been warned):

🔥🔥🔥🔥Mimimiii mimimiii mimimimimimiii 🔥🔥🔥🔥

(don't mind the fact I didn't screen record it like a normal person, this was a video I sent to someone before I turned it into a gif)

[animal-lover-forever]

Guys!

I just went on a long ass walk with my dog, Amicus.

I hurt now.

My original plan was to just walk around the block.

But clearly, that was not what ended up happening.

I ended up having to carry Amicus for a bit because he was slowing down and getting tired.

Keep in mind that Amicus is a 12-year-old Chiweenie.

And that I am overweight, commonly have pain in my ankles, knees, back, neck, and shoulders, I might have scoliosis (Dr. suspects but hasn't been confirmed.) and I usually only walk 3,000 - 5,000 steps a day when at school.

I only pick up a few 100 steps at most when staying home.

And at school, I walk from one class to another, then take an hour break for class time.

I just took 8,309 steps in one stretch!

I'm not as tired or hurting as bad as I thought I would after this.

But I did get a headache while doing this and almost thew up twice while walking.

My God.

I'm really not sure how I did it.

But I know one thing for sure.

I will never do this again.

From here on out, I'll be sticking to the block walks.

Oh yeah, Life 360 isn't completely accurate.

I didn't walk in the grass. (Unless there was no sidewalk.) I kept to the streets.

And I didn't have any water on me while walking.

So this was a straight-through walk, with no water, and in new territory.

Wait.

I didn't mention that?

Oh.

Yeah, I went further than I have ever walked, and into areas that me and my mom drive through rarely if at all.

I ended up pulling up Google Maps at some point so I could make my way home.

Only to realize that I wasn't very far from a Walmart that's literally half a mile away from our house.

My mom has so much trust in me.

I love her.

I was gone for over an hour and went decently far away from the house.

She didn't call me once to check in, (which I was a little surprised about. But when getting back home, she didn't even realize it had been that long. So that does make sense.) and she wasn't at all mad about how far I had gone.

My dad on the other hand?

He would have called me every 5 minutes asking where I was, and if I would have gotten half as far as I did today I would have gotten in trouble.

It makes me sad that my dad has no faith in me.

When I decided to go back to my mom, he told me that I would fail school, start doing drugs, and get pregnant.

And here I am, a year and a half later, not doing drugs (That aren't prescribed to me by a Dr.) and not pregnant. (I'm still virgin, in fact.)

I might have failed school this year because I completely lost all motivation near the end.

But even if I did, I plan to make up for it next year.

Because I won't allow myself to be a high school dropout.

So even though my dad has absolutely no trust or faith in me, at least my mom does.

Dear God.

Sorry guys.

I didn't mean for my little walk story to turn into drama, or for it to become this long.

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Entry 002 - Dragon's Dogma 2 <<Prev: 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

Synopsis

A prolonged camping adventure with the loyalest boys and a mage prodigy who gives me sass only often enough to make me paranoid she has the evil guy disease that kills everybody (might just be puberty)

Special Shoutout to whoever I stole Zoe the Beastren Healer Girl from (Your character name is/was Melina), she was a regular fixture of my party and is mine now.

How much did I know before playing?

I didn't play the first one, but I kept up with the marketing somewhat, and I was hyped to finally play it.

Did I like it more than I expected?

I fully expected to like it and I did. From what I've seen from the game before I bought it I knew its approach to an Open World would be my kind of game - and it was.

But seeing the discourse (and we will get to the discourse) this feels like a daring statement to make lol

Since I liked it, here's what I hated about it

Okay, this is the weirdest criticism to have about a game I completed in 113 hours, but it wasn't big enough. When I unknowingly made my way to Battahl and realized it wasn't as big as the other biome my reaction was a sad o: face and that feeling stuck around until the end, everything was just "I wouldn't mind if this was bigger :/" and it did impact my enjoyment of Battahl as a whole (Agamen not as much).

The game as a whole is really cool - I really loved it, I'm having to stop myself from starting a NG+ right now, and I think given an endless stream of new content I could literally play this game forever - and to some degree I feel like its size was calculated pretty well by the devs and shouldn't be bigger (if it was a lot of other minor details would suddenly become much bigger problems) but I guess it feels unexhausted.

I disagree when people say the open world is empty and one note - I personally had a great time exploring the entire map and I think the variety inside of the biomes is realistic and nuanced, I think if they just rethemed what's there into more different, but smaller biomes that wouldn't have done it for me either. The world might not be "new and exciting" everywhere you go, but every space in a given biome has some nuance in its topology and context that makes it stand out from the rest and it really feels like this world could be a real place exactly the way it is.

And since being grounded and 'realistic' is kind of this game's entire deal, having beef with that is to me kind of pointless, that just means you should have researched better what you're buying into (and we'll get to that!)

But I guess it feels like they could have done more, that all of these systems slotting in with each other would have benefitted from more stuff. Take the pawn specializations and classes for example, I think all of them are pretty neat but there aren't that many so running into 'one of that type' doesn't really change anything, especially since situational ones like the Elvish Speakers are coded to appear where you need them and you only "need" them in one specific place so you don't ever really have to think who you take with you. Same with environmental hazards like those water dams.

I guess that's the good thing of being able to expect Capcom to overdo it on DLC - I think adding more stuff like that in for example an expansion would really benefit this game, even though I will say that I think for the game that we have right now, the stuff that is there is enough.

Because in a fit of madness I don't even mean stuff like the enemy variety with that? I thought for the size of the game world the enemy variety was fine, not great but fine, even if it was on the smaller side at least the variety of their placement was really well thought through so I didn't really fight two of the same enemy groups in a row (the only problem i had with the enemies was that the enemy groups spawn way too densely and too frequently, you can't move an inch without aggroing another hassle of a fight and it also happens with paths you just cleared half an hour ago so map movement starts to become a chore at some point)

Finally: Men. But we'll talk about that.

What did this game make me think about?

We can only change the world by wanting to change it :) I love that as a theme, I'm really glad this is becoming a contemporary staple

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

THE TITLE SCREEN BEING DRAGONS DOGMA (NOT 2!) UNTIL THE THING HAPPENS i noticed that and it made me fall in love with the game so much more, it being a stealth remake and how it plays with that is so fcking cool i love that (again, I haven't even played the first one)

The coastal path to Bakbattahl. As I was randomly exploring I was wondering what the red waymarkers along this cave path were, so of course I followed them until at the end of this seemingly endless pilgrimage I finally realised what they were leading to. The entire experience of travelling along the cliffs and having to watch out for the harpies and the griffon was just really beautifully crafted. That whole journey will defo stick with me for a long time.

CHARACTER CREATOR OPEN WORLD RPGS ARE THE BEST Character Creators are my VisualNovel where the general audience seems to think they're cheesy but no, you don't get it, it's just that devs don't use them right because barely anyone has thought about their artistic merit yet. i can add so much visceral character development to my journey by changing hairstyles, adding scars, making my pc more muscular after training a new class, etc.

the day one of these games shaves a pc's head when they're imprisoned or adds scars when losing to a monster instead of a Game Over (all optional ofc people would scream if they forced that on their waifu) without me having to do that on my own is the day i will die happy

Outstanding Audio

The boss themes were cool? I did like the music and didn't just feel ambivalent about it but I couldn't tell you any specific piece :(

Favorite Character

Well, my character and my sweet pawns of course.

Aside from that I really liked Nadinia, even if she didn't get to do all that much, I just really love characters like her.

Also I guess the Smith Girl in Battahl, I liked her :)

Favorite Arc/Story Line

I liked Sven and Ser Menella's quests, but more than anything I loved seeing how doing quests impacted evacuating the cities after being baffled that the quests just ended without a conclusion. So I guess the entire final arc? (btw get good guys, i did the colossus quick kill without the arrow and seeing that pay off afterwards was amazing)

Favorite Set Piece

Travelling to Battahl along the coast

Watching my Pawn fight as the colossus

Everything that had to do with the capital-D Dragon

also having a healer with a child-like voice around and being paranoid about the dragon plague any time she gave me sass (she has like two or three lines out of nowhere that felt very pointed and i was so scared)

Favorite Scene

The ending scene with your pawn turning into the plague dragon. something about that did it for me.

Best Performance (I played with JP voices)

Kakuma Ai of Edelgard fame gave Nadinia such an edge that I really appreciate, she really made that character for me. For some reason I thought she was going to be a well-meaning but helpless pacifist priestess type character and thankfully she was not just that, she knew full well what she was doing while still also kind of being that pacifist priestess.

German Localization Notes

I thought the Localization was great! It fit the setting (I think Vasall is a better term than Pawn, fight me) and there were barely any blatant mistakes (I remember one spelling error and one time I was referred to as female, but that might be a programming error instead)

From what I did understand from the JP Pawn Dialogue I think they changed a bunch from the "original Japanese" though (might be an EN issue though, we don't have our own DE Voice Over so it would make more sense to keep with the 'default' language's text instead of JP) but also I don't really care since 90% of the dialogue is just Pawn Chatter where the phrasing of the content isn't particularly narratively important

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this game gives me Hope for the future of gaming?

This game is so fucking cool. I love this game for how weird it is. The stuff people complain about? Glorious. I love every single thing.

I loved having to have a physical fist fight with the save feature every time I was scared of making the wrong narrative choice. Yeah, it's kind of dumb and annoying, but from the devs' perspective, from the game they wanted to make and the overall vibe they were clearly going for it just makes sense. You're suppossed to roll with your wins and your failings - and if you can just always win then what's the point. You're not supposed to save scum as "un-quality of life" that may be and this is one way to kind of limit it to preserve the vibe they were going for.

Only having one save state and limiting character makeovers (they already fixed this one) makes sense because you're not supposed to play this game 'in parallel', you're supposed to play this game in succession - in a cycle, even. Your character isn't supposed to suddenly be an entirely different character, you're supposed to connect with the story through this character that is yours and to that goal, continually letting you change them completely would hinder that.

And since clearly this is actually a stealth remake of the first one I also really respect them not changing the shitty Beloved system? For some reason it's much more interesting to me that they kept it exactly the way it was, despite being stupid.

I guess I love stuff like this because it forces you to interact with the game as a piece of software engineering to make your own goals in this game come true. And yes, to me that's a good thing, because Video Games are pieces of software engineering - They're pretty much the only type of media that can do this.

Let me, the person who needs to make Self-Inserts for Maximum Escapism, be the one to tell you that I'm with Brecht when I say that in all sincerity, Immersion is a skill issue. Fuck Immersion as an aspirational trait of a piece of art. Especially capital-G Gamers have no clue what they're talking about when they use the word Immersion - and I get to say that, because I know that Presence exists beside the two popular buzzwords Immersion and Suspension of Disbelief - and this shit gives me so much Presence, I can't even begin to tell you.

I had to read the phrase "This game not maintaining 30FPS is breaking my immersion" about a game that made me pick up a child that had developed a crush on me, run in circles until my stamina ran out in order to drop it in a way that makes it crash into the stone floor, spraying blood everywhere because it was the only way I could make the child like me less - and I had to do that multiple times all so I could ensure I wouldn't end up kissing a child in the ending.

And while doing that, I did think "It's stupid the game works like this", I did feel fucking bad for the child I was abusing all so I could romance... well I romanced a random guy off the street because the men in this game were kind of boring - and yet in hindsight I was completely immersed into what I was doing because I was unironically engaging, grasping for agency in the systems put in place by the game's developers. I am rummaging through the rules of this universe all to spite god by making a child hate me a little bit more - and if that's not in the spirit of Dragon's Dogma II then I don't know what is. (this is only like 20% sarcasm btw)

To say it like this: Video Games aren't just to immerse you into a story better. Arguments about Immersion also always make me wonder what people think books are doing. But Dragon's Dogma 2 certainly is first and foremost a video game.

It feels like the people working on this game thought about what they were doing and during my journey through this world I got the feeling of understanding what exactly the devs went for in all aspects of this piece of software engineering - It's not trying to be a movie, it's not trying to be a book. It's trying and succeeding to be what it is and I really appreciate that.

I just wish there was EVEN MORE of it!!!

What about this game makes me scared for the future of gaming?

It grinds my gears that this keeps coming up so here it is, another round of idiot Gamers making me defend capitalism for something it didn't cause:

It's great that you all have awakened to corporations squeezing you out of your money, that's very anti-capitalist of you and I applaud that communist thinking (i'm not a communist but a lot of angry Gamers aren't either so let's make them mad by calling them that)

And yet I'm so sorry to inform you that even in Utopia people would still try to scam you.

It's not a Video Game Company's fault that you believed what they told you. I'm empathetic that it's hard, annoying and most of all stupid that we have to interact with a media landscape that is constantly trying to scam us for our money and attention, but even a genuine and well-intended artist is going to sugarcoat their product - so why would you ever believe what CAPCOM of all people is telling you without seeing physical proof first?

And even if they're point blank lying - which, straight up, for the most part Itsuno wasn't - if someone tells you they will sell you a green mug and the mug they hand you is red and you ask "but this is red" and they say "no it's green" and then you still buy it and at home you're upset that it is indeed red then you're the idiot!!! Yes, why did that person tell you that? Did they think you`re stupid? Why is Capitalism uniquely rewarding scamming people like this? All valid questions to seek answers for! But you can fall to the ground crying capitalism all you want, it's still your own foolishness that caused this!!! Don't buy shit if you're not adequately sure that you will enjoy the product!!

You have to - and will always have to - make your own informed decisions about what you invest both your money and your time into. 95% of problems that not only this but pretty much any video game discourse these days is critizising could be solved by simply researching what kind of game you would be buying into before buying it. And in this case, you have luck, this game existed before and you can try that game out for literally 5€! You know how I knew that? Because I fucking googled it.

And you can too! Thanks to YouTube, Twitch, some shitty wikis and some good ones it has never been easier to identify if a game is up to your standards before buying it - you just can't do that before the game is even out, which is why Pre-Orders are such a big problem to some people (I personally don't care, because I have to think about what I'm doing with my money anyways)

So just. Think about what you're spending money on before spending money on it! Maybe try being poor and having just enough money to buy one game every three months - that taught me to do that!

But with that out of my system let me get to the other problem this game has, one I think is really fucking annoying and stupid and really the core of my grievances with the game and not just the audience....

The Ramble Section where I get to actually talk about what I thought about

To introduce the second? third? Ramble topic of the day, here are a few moments from my playthrough that we will use to illustrate my main "problem" with this game:

I, a gay man, was forced to kiss the Sexy BrothelLady for literally no reason.

When daring to have a full male party, my main pawn mentioned that he hoped I wouldn't make not having women in the party a habit. (paraphrased)

You can buy a very revealling Mage Armor in Battahl. Naturally, after reaching Battahl around 75% of Pawns I encountered were barely dressed women.

I guess to add to that, the only black skinned Pawn I ever saw was one that Capcom made. Isn't that heart-warming.

I don't even know if there are romanceable men on the level of BrothelLady (I'm too lazy to look her name up, that's what she gets for sexual assault) or Ulrika

The Yeti Monkey Ogre gets horny for female pawns which felt very weird. I don't think there's an equivalent mechanic for male characters.

The Beloved Animations are all expressedly feminine. And I love me femininity, but it says a lot about who the devs thought would more likely be beloved and who would do the loving.

There's a summoning stone that only shows you petite women (which isn't necesarily bad, but it did raise my eyebrows)

imagine FPS being the only thing between you and that oh so hallowed immersion.

I guess to put it this way: For most of its runtime, the game gets away with pretending to be Gender Agnostic. Your Beloved can be Everyone even children! There's almost no mechanical difference between genders! You could argue that there is no intended demographic in mind for this game - that everybody can play it and therefore it's made for everyone.

Until, of course, one of those things I mentioned above pops up and serves as a harsh reminder that No! At some point in development, the devs came down hard on "This game was made for heterosexual men and everyone else can just also play it."

And with some of this shit I felt gross about having to witness it and that's really the gist of it.

I remember vividly when my main pawn no homo-ed me about my All Male Party and how just utterly ugly that felt. And I know it was phrased weirdly (at least in german) so maybe it's just me, but it was vague enough that I could interpret it as him saying he needs women in the party so he had something to look at and that's an extremely wild and frankly inappropriate thing to have your blank canvas NPC Follower say out of fucking nowhere. Like, Imagine being a woman liking men and hearing that.

It's in moments like Wilhelmina's forced kiss (i remembered her name are you proud) where the only reason it happened was that the presumed player would find that shit hot. It's in Ulrika being clearly just romance option Nr.1 and I couldn't just tell her no and continue to do her quests, I had to throw her into a wall every time I saw her to the point I completely avoided her instead of talking to her. I'm pretty sure I missed quests because of that. Like, Imagine being a woman liking men trying to do these quests.

Related, there's also something in them trying to circumvent Depicting Real Racism by transposing it onto the Beastren - which I guess didn't not work, I don't have any big feelings either way, especially since the devs at least tried to keep the cast somewhat diverse; I certainly didn't find it as appalling as whatever FF16 did. But it also makes stuff like Nadinia not being an equivalent Romance option despite being on the cover of the game questionable, because now it's like... Yeah, that was a decision you made for a reason. You didn't think your presumed audience would find the cat lady hot, right? (I certainly did and I'm gay)

I also mentioned before having strong feelings about Character Creators - because I do feel they are a very, very strong tool to make your own story telling part of the game in a tangible way. And sure, I use them mainly for self-inserts, sue me, but what I'm trying to say is:

It feels crazy to have 75% of Pawns I run into be someone's waifu and they all look one certain way. Other than that people either make some joke pawn or a bad version of a popular character - but from what I've seen the waifu they can presumably goon over was certainly the biggest pawn demographic by far.

And I know that gets into "Let people have fun!" territory, but it definitely lessened mine and I'm not even one of the people this is about. It was less fun for me not just meeting somebody's unique pawn, but - well. An Army of Women Objects. Not even objectified women - these are Women born as Objects. (and yes while these women aren't real, the treatment of fictional women is still indicative of and impactful on real women - so yeah, you can objectify women even if they're fictional) A world supposed to be filled with myriad unique pawns is uniquely filled with Women Objects - and given what the Pawns are in universe, that's kind of massively fucked up and every time the Game acknowledges that - by including very revealing armor, making it easier to filter certain types of women and by telling me to recruit more women because why would you ever have an all male party??? - it just feels gross.

Again. Try imagining being a woman that dares to like men. I keep repeating it because it feels like nobody thought about this niche group of people that's just about 50% of the entire population on earth.

And I guess I can't fault the devs too much about it, for the most part I actually really like the female characters in this game (nadiniaaaaaa) and the Pawns they themselves made are pretty diverse so clearly they cared at least a little about it; I certainly didn't find what they did as appalling as whatever FF16 did. I can only side eye them for knowing that all of this would happen and kind of enabling their players to do that.

It's just sad. It's sad and it's gross and an active reminder that despite it all a majority of people still treats women, 50% of humanity, like property, deliberately or not. It stains a really enjoyable video game with interesting mechanics to think about that I really connected with - and all because capital-G Gamers and "standard" masculinity is fucking gross and yet the devs either didn't think that far or think that's fine and good and dandy.

[beelzebuddy-catan]

The Not Entirely Human-Human Exchange Student pt. 2

Summary: Cass manages to shock the student body at RAD when she makes her first pact with Mammon. She doesn't have time to think about it as she begins uncovering the dark secrets haunting the House of Lamentation. Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, heavily implied sexual content Spoilers: Lesson two and Lilith's status Characters: Cass (OC), Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Lilith, Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, Luke, Simeon, Preta (OC), and Vassago (OC). Notes: (1) Lilith is absolutely a little shit (affectionate) who just likes pulling pranks and messing with people she loves. (2) I love the idea of MC finding Mammon's credit card without Lucifer's hint. Part One • Next Part

“Call me by my name,” she demanded.

“Fuck,” Mammon hissed, eyes wide. “Is this all ‘cause of the pact?! Listen to me hum-” he stopped, as if he physically couldn’t finish the word. “Hu-hum-FINE, Cass!” They stared at each other, Mammon catching his breath. Cass wondered how much energy it took to fight off whatever control the pact had over him. “Look, just because may be in control of my body doesn’t mean you own my mind.”

“I don’t want to own you,” Cass said, surprising him. “I literally only asked you to call me by my name. I’d expect even demons to have that level of decorum.”

He didn’t say anything at first, but his frustration seemed to fade. “Where is it?” Cass tilted her head in confusion. She already gave him his credit card, what else did he want. “The mark?” Silence. “You really don’t know anything about pacts do ya? When you make a pact, you have a mark to show it.”

His eyes fell to her hand, as if he already knew it would be there. She followed his gaze to her left hand. Oh. Wrapping around her pointer finger was an intricate golden design. It faded towards the top, the design tightening at the base. It almost looked like a ring, a sigil resting in the middle like a stone. Cass gasped, taken aback at how beautiful it was.

Cass glanced down at the map Lucifer had given her and back up at the hallway. At this point she’d be lucky if she found her classes, let alone found them on time. Apparently giving the new student a tour was too kind for demons.

Her morning hadn’t gone great. Besides having no idea where she was going and Mammon being missing, she’d been assigned to wake him up earlier. She’d ended up just poking him in the face, only to be thrown to the floor. Now, she was lost in a giant school, no idea where to go. She shoved the map in her bag, deciding to go in what she thought was the right direction and hope she got lucky enough to run into someone she knew.

“Hey, that’s the human everyone’s talking about.” She heard someone whisper but opted to stay still. “Can’t believe Mammon got assigned to watch over her.”

“Doncha think that’s pretty lucky for us? We can devour this human before even Beel does, and they won’t know it was us.”

The first demon snickered in response. Before she could take a step, they started to jeer and catcall. Cass swung her backpack over her other shoulder, walking up to the demons with a cheery smile. Their cocky demeanors only grew.

“If you so much as even try to touch me, I will rip off whatever appendage of yours I can find, be it your arm, leg, horn, tail, whatever, and shove it so far up your ass I can pull it back out your throat. Then, I’ll pour holy oil into any open orifice and light it on fire while you’re still alive. And, as you burn and the light leave your eyes, the last thing you’ll see is me enjoying a glass of ice water.” Cass blinked her eyes innocently, her smile never faltering. “Do you happen to know what the cafeteria serving today?” Her smile finally fell as she stared into the second demon’s eyes, not blinking as she finished. “I’m caving barbecue.”

Neither of them moved, shock rooting them in their place. A third demon, standing off to the side stifled a laugh. Their black horns and eyes stood out against their pale skin and white hair.  Whoever they talking to looked equal parts impressed and disinterested. Cass flashed them a smile before walking towards where she hoped her class was. She only took a few steps before someone fell into step next to her.

“Hey, you’re Cass, right?” She cast him a look but didn’t respond. He laughed before continuing. “You don’t have to be suspicious of me.  I’m Solomon, the other exchange student. When I heard Mammon was looking after you, I thought Lucifer was just messing with you. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Cass stopped and crossed her arms. Something felt too convenient about the only other human showing up next to her right when she needed help. “I can handle myself with demons. Mind telling me where 2122b is?”

“You’re asking for my help? But you’ve got the great Mammon!” Cass didn’t miss the sarcasm lacing his tone. “Why should I just give you that information?”

“Help another human out? You are human still, aren’t you?”

“Hmm,” he smiled. “There are times even I’m not so sure. After obtaining the ring of wisdom from someone in a very high position and forming 72 pacts,” he paused glancing at her, “I became a wicked sorcerer. Or, that’s what they say about me. I am fairly sure I am still human. I’m happy to prove it to you if needed.”

Cass twirled a piece of her hair and giggled, taking a wild guess he was the same Solomon written about in theology. “It’s no wonder you got 700 women to marry you, you’re so charming.” She rolled her eyes and walked away without giving him another glance. She was stopped again after a few steps by Lucifer. “Morning?”

“It seems you’ve already become something of a celebrity. Is your plan to simply threaten any demon who talks about you?” Cass hummed, not really caring to have a conversation when she still didn’t know where her fucking class was. Honestly, if threatening demons who treated her like dirt or a meal was how she survived, that’s how she survived. “While I understand it is inevitable you associated with Solomon, you should know he can’t be trusted. Unlike you, he can wield powerful magic and will try to subjugate even a powerful demon given the chance.”

“Got it, I can’t trust the only human here, but demons are good.” Cass went to step around him before pausing, remembering her conversation with Levi yesterday. Lucifer had hidden Mammon’s credit card, the credit card needed to make a pact with Mammon. Maybe she should just come out and ask him where it was.

“Is there something you want to ask me?” Lucifer smirked, as if knowing she needed something from him.

“Where is room 2122b?” She asked. Maybe she could get Lilith to tell her.

“Is that all? I would have thought you had question about Mammon.” Cass didn’t answer, not giving him the satisfaction. “If you go down this hall and take the first right and it’ll be the second door on the left.”

“Great, thank you,” Cass said, going to her first class of the day.

As much as she wanted to focus, she couldn’t. While the material was interesting, it was too much being thrown into a new world. Especially considering she’d been told she’d be living with seven brothers but had only met six.

At this point, all she knew about the final brother was he had long, greyish indigo hair with white tips and was comfortable enough to fall asleep leaning against Beel. Given his brothers were avatars of the six of the seven deadly sins, she assumed he was the avatar of sloth. It probably wasn’t abnormal for him to fall asleep against anyone.

The rest of the day was a cycle of thinking about each of the brothers and how to find Mammon’s credit card. She should have just asked Lucifer. She had to look up what a credit card was. How was she supposed to find one hidden in a strange, unknown house by a strange, unknown demon? The only seemingly valuable thing she’d come across was freezing credit, which seemed like a good option if Lucifer didn’t want Mammon to spend money.

“If I was going to hide a credit card to freeze someone’s spending, where would I put it?” Cass said out loud. She was lying upside down on her couch, head hanging off the edge. “It’s not literally frozen. He’s been around for centuries. It has to mean something else.”

“Does it though?” A voice interrupted her thoughts. Cass opened her eyes to see Lilith floating upside down, staring at her. “Look, I love Lucifer, but he finds dad jokes a bit too funny.” Cass didn’t answer, unsure what dad jokes were. “Predictable jokes, puns?”

Cass spun around. “Are you saying he literally froze Mammon’s credit card? Wouldn’t someone have found it by now?”

Lilith didn’t answer, simply giving Cass a look before disappearing. Was everyone in the Devildom cryptic as hell? It was past midnight. If she went to the kitchen now, there was a chance she wouldn’t run into anyone. It was probably safter to go now than in the middle of the day.

Cass tried to be as quiet as possible going to the kitchen. Luckily, she didn’t run into anyone. Part of her had debated texting Levi but decided against it. If Lilith was messing with her or her hunch was wrong, she’d rather he not know about it. She managed not to scream when she ran into Beel as she walked into the kitchen.

“Why you going to the kitchen so late?”

 She was drawn to Beel. Despite the fact that he expressed less emotions than the other brothers and was harder to read, something about him felt safe. She could tell he was a caring person, or demon, he just had a harder time of showing it.

“I was just getting a glass of water,” Cass lied. She wasn’t sure why. Something told her Beel wouldn’t care why she was in the kitchen. He huffed in response, going to leave. Suddenly she remembered the picture, the indigo haired demon slumped against Beel in the picture. “Hey, Beel, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Diavolo said I’d be living here with you and your brothers. He said there were seven of you, but I haven’t met your youngest brother. I was wondering–”

“Don’t ever mention him in front of Lucifer” Beel cut her off “ and don’t bother asking the rest of us. We don’t talk about him. Even though he’s our brother, we have to treat him like he doesn’t exist, it’s not fair,” Beel trailed off. Another crack. “But since no one can defy Lucifer, that’s that. Besides, it’s not any of your business.”

Cass reached out, grabbing Beel’s arm as he went to leave. “I know it doesn’t mean anything, and I’m just this random human forced to live with you, but if you need someone to talk to,” Cass paused, looking up at Beel. He didn’t say anything, but for a moment, it looked like he wanted to. “Have a nice night, Beel.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded before walking out of the room. She should ask Lilith next time she appeared. Despite not talking about the seventh brother, it clearly weighed on Beel. The longer she was in the Devildom, the more she started to think she might be an empath. She was trapped in a house with six broken demons who needed help and was beginning to feel like her purpose was to help them.

“That’s not important right now,” she whispered. One thing at a time Cass, damn. Start with the credit card and pact and move on to whatever the fuck was haunting these demons after.

She checked to make sure Beel had actually left before opening the freezer. She was certain Lilith was messing with her when she looked into the nearly empty freezer. Beel must have eaten everything possible, because it looked like the only thing left was ice. Well, ice and what looked like freezer burnt ice cream from God knows how long ago. She shoved it out of the way in frustration.

As she went to slam the door shut, a glint of light caught her eye. Buried in ice, underneath the ice cream was a golden credit card. She pulled it out, but was unable to read the name. It had to be Mammon’s. Why else would there be a credit card in the freezer. She threw the frozen card in the sink, running hot water over it.

As the ice melted, she sighed. Step one, complete. Now she just needed to get Mammon to agree to a pact. When Levi first suggested it, she hadn’t really cared much either way. Pact or not, she was still stuck here with no memory. As she thought about it at school, though, she realized it would be nice to have some level of control over her situation, as well as someone on her side in the Devildom, willingly or not.

Cass sat on the edge of the counter, waiting for the ice to melt. When the ice was almost gone, she picked the card up. Sure enough, in silver lettering was Mammon’s name. Cass stared at the card, wondering what her next move was. It wasn’t until she heard his gasp that she realized Mammon had walked into the kitchen.

“IS THAT GOLDIE? DIDJA FIND MY CARD HUMAN?” Mammon yelled, rushing towards her. He went to grab the card, but Cass shoved it into her back pocket before he could. “Whadda think you’re doin’?”

“Leveraging your card for my benefit?” Mammon looked at her in disbelief. “Make a pact with me, and I’ll give you your precious card.”

“NO WAY!” Mammon snapped. “What makes you think The Great Mammon, one of the rulers of the Devildom would ever make a pact? Let some human be the boss of me?”

”Oh Luuuuccccifffeeeer,” Cass called.

Mammon’s eyes widened in fear, hand going to cover her mouth. He stepped between her legs, eyes pleading with her to be quiet. He didn’t move for a while, maybe waiting for his fear to subside or until he felt he could trust Cass not to say anything.

“You’re serious right now?” He asked, pulling his hand away. Cass nodded, though she wasn’t. “Fuck, fine.”

He stepped back, hand going to his belt. It took a second for Cass to register what he was doing. “Um, what the fuck are you doing?”

He glanced at her in disbelief. “What do you think?” Cass stared at him, eyes wide in confusion. “I thought ya wanted to make a pact.”

“Yeah?”

Mammon threw his hands up in frustration. “Are ya aware of a different way to make a pact?”

“I guess I don’t know how to make one.” Mammon stared at her. “I literally don’t even know my last name, what makes you think I’d know how to make a pact with a demon?!”

“I’d expect ya to look it up at the very least.” When Cass didn’t answer, Mammon rolled his eyes and continued, “pacts gotta be consummated.”

“Oh,” Cass answered, “OH!”

“Havin’ second thoughts?” Mammon asked, hand going to grab his credit card from her back pocket. “We don’t have to do anything ya know? You can give me my card and we can forget this ever happened.”

Cass smacked his hand away. “It’s not a second thought. It’s just,” she paused, not sure how to phrase it. “I just, I don’t have my memories.” Mammon didn’t answer, waiting for her to continue. “I don’t know if I’ve done, if I’ve ever, you know.” She gestured in the space between them.

Before she knew what was happening, Mammon’s hands flew to the counter beside her. His grasp was so tight that the butcher block split in his grip. “Don’t, don’t say things like that to a demon.” His voice was quiet, like he was trying his hardest to restrain himself. Cass didn’t answer, not sure what he meant. He continued, not meeting her eyes. “I’m a demon.”

“Oh really?”

Mammon scoffed, the counter cracking more under his grip. “Ya can’t say things like that to a demon. Our whole thing is corruptin’ humans. Do ya realize what your doing to me right now?”

“Oh,” she repeated, “OH!” Mammon didn’t answer, almost as if he was trying to calm his erratic breathing. “Fuck it,” she breathed. Mammon’s head snapped up, finally meeting her gaze. “Let’s make a pact.

His hands left the counter at the speed of light, grabbing her hips pulling her closer. Their lips met in a bruising kiss. Before Cass had time to process what was happening, he had lifted her off the counter and was moving towards the door. Her arms tightened around his neck, clutching to him as if he was going to drop her.

“Wh-what, what are you doing?”

“You think I want any of my brothers comin’ in and seein’ ya this,” he scoffed, “fuck I’m surprised Asmo didn’t smell you and come down here already.”

“SMELL?” She gasped, but Mammon didn’t answer. Before she knew it, they were in his room and she was being thrown on his bed. Levi wasn’t kidding when he said he was fast. She barely had time to catch her breath, let alone stop her head from spinning before Mammon was kissing her again. And so, her first pact was made.

---

Cass stared at the ceiling of Mammon’s room. She’d expected there to be something more to making a pact besides saying something in Latin and sleeping with the demon. Cass glanced at Mammon, who was lying next to her, also avoiding her gaze.

“That was,” he started.

“Unexpected?”

“Sure,” he answered, but something in his voice told her that wasn’t what he was thinking.

He got up and started getting dressed. Cass sat up, holding the sheet up against her, not really sure what to say that could break the tension. She didn’t know how pacts work, much less what it meant to make one. Was this Mammon’s first pact with human? She almost asked but stopped herself. Why did it matter? 

“Um,” Cass said, breaking the silence. Mammon looked over his shoulder but didn’t say anything. “Is it, can demons, can I get pregnant?”

Mammon’s movement froze, eyes widening. After a moment, he started dressing, moving faster than before. Cass didn’t move, terror rushing through her. Something in his response told her it wasn’t the risk of pregnancy that had him moving like that.

“Mammon?” He didn’t respond. “MAMMON!” Finally, he looked at her. Her voice fell quiet under his gaze, “what happens to humans who are pregnant with demons?” Again, he didn’t answer, her question only making him move faster. Panic rushed through her. For the first time since arriving in the Devildom she honestly felt afraid. “MAMMON!” She said, summing as much energy as he could. “Am I going to die?”

He kneeled next to her, hands cupping her face. He looked at her with genuine emotions, and it scared the hell out of her. “No, do you think the Great Mammon would let that happen?”

Cass fought back tears. He looked as unsure as she felt. Fuck. Why hadn’t she thought of that earlier? It hadn’t even crossed her mind. Why would it have? She didn’t know anything about demons and humans. It was the uncertainty in Mammon’s answer that scared her. Had he acted like he didn’t care about her, that would have been better, more comforting.

“Stop.” Mammon’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. He held her eye contact, concern laced in his gaze. “You’re gonna be fine, okay? I’ll talk to Lucifer, and he’ll know what to do. It’ll be fine.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than her. “I’ll go now, okay?”

Mammon made a move towards the door and Cass stood, grabbing the closest shirt she could find. Mammon opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when he saw her dressing. She didn’t notice his staring at first, flinching under his gaze when she finally looked up.

“Sorry, I just grabbed something. I figured it’d be faster than trying to find mine,” she said, pulling at the edge of his button up nervously. It was large enough that it was falling off one shoulder, the hem landing midthigh.

She tried taking a step towards Mammon but lost her footing. He was by her side in an instant, catching her. “Ya really think your going to be able to walk to Lucifer’s room?”

“Well, I’m not just going to sit around here waiting.” Mammon and Cass held a silent starting contest before he finally resigned, scooping her up bridal style. “Wha–?”

“I’ll just carry you.”

Cass didn’t bother arguing, knowing already how much faster it would be. She closed her eyes, turning her head into Mammon’s chest feeling a wave of motion sickness at his movement. It wasn’t until she heard a knock that she opened her eyes. A moment later, the door swung open revealing a disappointed Lucifer. It looked like he was about to start scolding whoever had knocked on the door when he must have realized why they were there.

---

Cass stared at the fire behind Lucifer. He’d been lecturing Mammon for the last hour, occasionally passing a condescending comment her way. She was having a hard time concentrating on anything he said, though. She couldn’t shake Mammon’s reaction to her earlier from her thoughts.

“Can’t ya do this later?” Mammon hissed. “There are more pressing issues.”

“If you had any semblance of self-control, there wouldn’t be.”

“I had self-control, considerin’ she was going on about being a virgin. Don’t act like you wouldn’t have done the same–”

“I wasn’t going on about being a virgin. I literally said I have no memories–”

“I don’t care what the circumstances were.” Cass looked away from Mammon, trying not to roll her eyes. Lucifer handed her a small vial. “This potion will prevent pregnancy. I had some made on the off chance you surprised us and made a pact. Though, I didn’t expect it to be so quick.”

As she drank the potion, Lucifer muttered something in what sounded like Latin. “Well, the potion is most effective before being intimate, it won’t hurt to take it after.” He handed her a piece of paper with something written in a foreign language. “This is a spell to help strengthen the effects. Any demon will be able to perform it with ease. Well, any demon worth making a pact with. I’ll work with Barbatos to make more potion, should you end up needing more. Please try to refrain yourself until then, no matter how hard you find it.”

“EXCUSE ME? Thanks for the potion, though I could do without the haughty tone.” She stood up, glaring at Lucifer. “Ass,” she said under her breath as she stormed towards the door, letting it slam behind her.  

Cass groaned, falling into her bed. Of all the things she expected to happen that evening, that wasn’t one of them. She rolled over to look at the time when she saw Lilith sitting on the edge of her table. She was grinning, feet swinging beneath her.

“He likes you,” she laughed. “Lucifer.”

“He has a funny way of showing it.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, Lilith, you’ve been here for a while, right?” The ghost nodded. “Can you tell me about their seventh brother?”

Lilith’s feet stopped moving. She sighed, jumping off the table to start pacing. “No.”

“Seriously?” Cass demanded.

“shhhh.” Lilith glared at her. “They can’t know I’m here.”

“I thought you wanted me to help them! I can’t help them if I don’t know anything. Why is everything a secret?”

Lilith looked at her with understanding, but it only made Cass angrier. Why did it feel like she was playing a game where everyone knew the rules except her. It was frustrating enough talking to the brothers, but at least she could understand their perspective.

They didn’t ask her to be here, Diavolo did. Lilith, on the other hand, asked her to help. Cass’s only goal was to survive for the year and try to get her memories back. Despite wanting to help the brothers, if they didn’t let her, she couldn’t force them to accept her help.

“I want to tell you, I do, really.” Against her better judgement, Cass believed her. “If you know too much about them though, they won’t trust you. You have to earn their trust, or they’ll just shut you out more. They’ve been burned in the past, which is why they act that way.”

“Can you tell me anything? How do you know them? Why can’t they know you’re here? You told me you’ve tried contacting them before. What changed?”

She didn’t say anything for a minute. “Fine, but you can’t tell them. At least not yet.”

---

Asmo had been laughing for the last ten minutes, despite Satan telling him to quiet down. Apparently, Cass making a pact with Mammon was one of the funniest things he’d heard in a while. She was too busy replaying her conversation with Lilith to care about the little insults he was making towards her.

So, Lilith was their sister from the Celestial Realm. Well, that explained her ethereal nature and why she cared so much about them. Honestly, Cass should have seen it sooner given how many similar features she had to the brothers.

“If they know you knew about me, they won’t trust you. They’ll be angry and resent you.” It made sense. While Lilith wouldn’t tell her what happened that led to her being a ghost in the Devildom that her brothers couldn’t see nor what made their dynamics so bizarre, Cass understood why she couldn’t tell them. She knew they all had their defenses built so strong it would take a miracle to break through them.

“I don’t know what’s more surprising, an average human like you making a pact with Mammon so fast or you teaming up with Levi to make it happen.”

“All that matters is I got my money back from Mammon AND my figurine. I’ll finally be able to buy the Blu-ray box set of Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and her Reluctant Companio! The initial rounds even have tickets to a live event,” Levi said.

“I never thought I’d see a human win over Levi, but here we are,” Satan mused, speaking over Levi.

Levi stopped mid rant. “Excuse me?! Nobody won me over. Especially not some non-otaku normie human. We had a purely business relationship due to our aligned interests.”

Levi huffed, crossing his arms and glaring at the center of the table, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. Cass didn’t miss the blush appearing at Satan’s words though. She also didn’t miss the way Beel was trying to sneak food off her plate, though she used sneak lightly. She pushed her plate towards him, not having much of an appetite.

“You know, we should be careful or we might find ourselves in a pact with Cass as well. If you had to choose one of us to forge a pact with next, who would it be, Cass?”

She glanced at Asmo before her eyes flashed to the other demons at the table. She didn’t care to have the pact she had, let alone more of them. Besides, the question seemed like a trap. She’s certain no matter how she answered it would end with one of them insulting her.

“None of you, I’m not interested.”

“WHAT?! Do you know how offensive that is? It’s as if you think we’re not worth making a pact with. Yet you made one with that stupid, poor excuse of a dem-” Asmo was interrupted by Mammon smacking the back of his head. “OW! I can’t believe you STRUCK my beautiful, beautiful head! Not even Lucifer has done something like that!”

“Stop callin’ me a poor excuse for a demon, you pea brain. Y’all think you’re so great. None of this would’ve happened if Lucifer hadn’t taken my precious Goldie away from me and hidden her against her will.”

The brothers responded in disgust to Mammon personifying his credit card. Cass wasn’t sure Levi was one to talk considering his unnerving infatuation with an animation or Asmo given his self-obsession. She was just grateful the conversation was no longer focused on her. She wasn’t in much of a mood to talk. Besides, Mammon seemed to have more of knack of sticking his foot in his mouth than her. His mocking of Lucifer continuing despite him standing behind Mammon.

“You know, he’s so stupid it’s almost sad,” Asmo noted as Mammon rubbed his head where Lucifer had hit him.

“It’s almost like we’re being punished by having him as our brother.”

Lucifer sat down, speaking directly to her, ignoring his brothers’ continued squabbling. “Cass, I didn’t say it last night, but it’s quite the accomplishment managing a pact in such a short time.”

“Well, I supposed if you hadn’t been too busy implying I was a whore, you would have gotten around to it.”

Lucifer chuckled, shaking his head. “Perhaps, but Diavolo will be pleased regardless.”

“Oi, human!” Cass rolled her eyes at Mammon’s voice. “Don’t sit there with your heads in the clouds, we gotta go.”

Cass pushed her chair out, knowing her three options were to walk with Mammon, with the other brothers, or alone. Surprisingly, Mammon was the safest or quietest option. She followed him out of the dining room towards the door, not bothering to tune into his complaints.

“Hey, don’t go thinkin’ you can ignore the Great Mammon just ‘cause you managed to make some pact, human!”

Cass stopped in her tracks glaring at him. “Seriously?” He huffed, sticking his arms out. “You still won’t call me by my name?”

“No, I won’t. You’re just a lowly human, come back in a million years and maybe I’ll consider calling ya by your name. Learn your place, ‘cause if you don’t, I swear I’ll make you my next meal. Let’s go, human.”

“Call me by my name or I’m not going,” Cass said, crossing her arms.

“What makes you think I care if you go?”

“Call me by my name,” she demanded.

“Fuck,” Mammon hissed, eyes wide. “Is this all ‘cause of the pact?! Listen to me hum-” he stopped, as if he physically couldn’t finish the word. “Hu-hum-FINE, Cass!” They stared at each other, Mammon catching his breath. Cass wondered how much energy it took to fight off whatever control the pact had over him. “Look, just because may be in control of my body doesn’t mean you own my mind.”

“I don’t want to own you,” Cass said, surprising him. “I literally only asked you to call me by my name. I’d expect even demons to have that level of decorum.”

He didn’t say anything at first, but his frustration seemed to fade. “Where is it?” Cass tilted her head in confusion. She already gave him his credit card, what else did he want. “The mark?” Silence. “You really don’t know anything about pacts do ya? When you make a pact, you have a mark to show it.”

His eyes fell to her hand, as if he already knew it would be there. She followed his gaze to her left hand. Oh. Wrapping around her pointer finger was an intricate golden design. It faded towards the top, the design tightening at the base. It almost looked like a ring, a sigil resting in the middle like a stone. Cass gasped, taken aback at how beautiful it was.

“How did–”

“When you woke me up yesterday,” Mammon answered, not looking away from her hand. “The mark appears where you first touch a demon.”

---

Mammon didn’t say much after they left. He did keep looking at her hand, taking in the mark. Cass didn’t blame him. It almost seemed to catch the light like real gold. She traced over it, but it didn’t feel like anything. She had been starting at it since she’d gotten to her first class.

“Whenever an important announcement is made, the demons around here couldn’t care less. Yet, rumors spread like wildfire. The uproar about the new exchange student hadn’t even subsided, and now this.”

“Don’t say that Barbatos! This gossip ensures everyone is watching this human, making it harder for any demon to go after Cass’s soul.”

“Which is especially important given Mammon’s not doing a very good job as a guardian.”

Diavolo sat across from Cass. “I must say, I can’t believe you managed to forge a pact with Mammon. That’s no small feat.”

“I suppose it stands as proof that you chose well bringing this human here, Lord Diavolo,” Barbatos praised.

“Sometimes I wish I could trade a certain idiot brother of mine for Barbatos,” Lucifer said.

“It is sometimes said that a truly wise man does not flaunt his talents, he keeps them secret.”

Barbatos smiled at Lucifer, but it had a mocking aura to it. Lucifer scoffed, as if the very thought of Mammon having any talents was laughable. Cass tried not to smile at the reaction. He really did act like the protective older brother.

“I’ve heard it said that the most thick-headed child is always the cutest.”

“I don’t even want to think of Mammon as my child.”

“See how he doesn’t deny the part of Mammon being cute.” Cass looked up at the unknown voice. His laugh sounded almost like music. “Out of all seven of you brothers, you are, without a doubt, the most troublesome.”  

“That almost sounds like a compliment, Simeon.”

“Well, it’s not,” another unknown voice interjected. Cass was surprised to see what looked like a ten-year child in front of her.

“Allow me to introduce you, Cass,” Diavolo said, noticing her surprise. “This is Simeon and Luke. They are our exchange students from the Celestial Realm. As you can probably guess, they are angels.”

“Well, Simeon is an angel. Luke is more of a chihuahua.”

“I am NOT a chihuahua,” Luke yelled. “I may be a low-ranking angel, but I’ll have you know that I report directly to Michael the Archangel!”

“Luke, calm down, there’s no need to make such a fuss.” Simeon turned to Cass, flashing a dazzling smile. Unlike the demons, there was genuine warmth behind the action. “It is a pleasure to meet you Cass, we’ve heard a lot of rumors!” The warning bell rang through the room. “I apologize for any trouble we’ve caused, Cass, but I look forward to getting to know you better.”

Diavolo and Barbatos followed Simeon out of the room. Lucifer looked like he was about to say something to Cass, but decided against it. Luke stayed behind, glaring at the door Lucifer had just exited through.

“Are you okay?”

“Never trust a demon, Cass, especially if that demon is Lucifer. I was against this exchange program from the beginning, especially bringing humans to the Devildom. You need to be safe, and Mammon certainly isn’t going to help.”

Luke’s hand landed on hers and he looked at her with so much concern it warmed her heart. For the first time since arriving, she felt there was someone that genuinely cared about her, not just cared about her surviving because Diavolo wanted the exchange program to succeed. Luke left without another word, leaving her to wonder how much him and Simeon and him knew about the brothers.

---

Solomon laughed, laughing down his cards. “Read ‘em and reap. It’s a straight flush.” Asmo groaned, throwing his loosing hand on the table. “That’s 183 wins for me!”

“Are you using magic?”

“I am but a simple human, an innocent lamb. I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t accuse me of behaving like you demons.”

“How can you say that with a straight face, Solomon? I think you may be the least innocent of all of us.”

“Is that truly what you think of me, Satan?” Solomon joked, shuffling the cards. “I must say, it’s lucky Mammon isn’t here, he likely would have broken my record-breaking winning streak by now.”

Satan nodded in agreement. “You’re right, considering he’s usually such dolt, he is surprisingly good at making money.”

“Shouldn’t you be a bit more respectful towards Mammon? You’re always putting him down, despite him being your older brother.”

A third demon sat down next to Solomon at his question. “Have you met Mammon?”

“See, even Vas knows how impossible that is, and he’s not even Mammon’s brother!” The warning bell rang. “You’re running a bit late today, Vas, Preta make you late again?”

“Actually, we ran into Beel and he was telling us about the pact the new exchange student managed to make with Mammon.” At his words, Satan and Asmo started laughing. “How did she manage that?”

“I honestly don’t know. She found Mammon’s hidden credit card on her own. Lucifer was quite impressed. He kept mentioning his surprise at breakfast,” Satan answered. “I think the rest of are just as surprised that Mammon actually agreed to make a pact.”

“It seems like everyone is acting like making a pact is a huge thing. Sure, it’s funny Cass tricked Mammon, but the pact itself isn’t that big of a deal. Take Solomon and me, we’re in a pact. You also have one with Barabtos and Vasago!” Vas scoffed at Asmo. “What? You must have had a reason to make a pact.”

“I lost a bet with Preta, I didn’t exactly want to make one.” Solomon smiled at Vas, knowing despite the reason behind the pact, they were actually quite close.

“I have to agree with Vas. Generally, demons are too proud to make pacts.”

“I’ve been very fortunate but can’t afford to be complacent. Otherwise, Cass might make a pact with Lucifer before I can.”  

Asmo giggled at Solomon’s words, his demeanor showing a lack of concern. Both him and Vas were well aware of how Solomon was at this point. Satan shot Solomon a curious glance, but let it go. Solomon likely wasn’t concerned given he didn’t need to rush in making Lucifer like him. Though Satan doubted he’d ever win Lucifer over enough to agree to that.

“Judging from how Beel was talking, Lucifer is already growing fond of the human. Preta took a liking to her yesterday too. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to befriend her.”

“We may need to give Cass a bit of a warning. We were already joking about Beel eating her, but Preta is a whole different story. Given Lucifer’s added a new favorite person to his list along with Mammon, he wouldn’t take to kindly to her being eaten.”

Solomon pocketed the pack of cards as Satan took his seat and the final bell rung. They were in for a much more interesting semester than any of them had expected when Cass was first chosen. Hopefully it continued to be positive surprises.

---

“Never trust a demon.”

Cass kept thinking about Luke’s warning. When Luke had left the classroom, the calming aura he and Simeon had lingered. She wanted to hold them at arm’s length. Being angels didn’t make her immediately trust them. Both of them had a sincerity about them that made it hard not to though.

It reminded her of Lilith. Just like Lilith, Luke’s warning held some hidden knowledge that he wasn’t willing to share. She didn’t need his warning though. She didn’t need to know his reasoning behind it. She already distrusted Lucifer. Unlike his brothers, it always felt like he was playing a game, never revealing his hand even though everyone else’s cards were showing. Lucifer had a hidden card up his sleeve that he wasn’t sharing with his family.

A soft voice echoed through the room, startling her. Lilith was nowhere to be seen. Though Cass wouldn’t put it past the ghost to pull a prank, the voice was unfamiliar. She stood on her bed, trying to get closer to the vent.

“Someone, please, help me.”

The voice was just as faint. She could barely make on the words. Why was there someone calling for help? Was it another ghost that nobody could hear? Or was it something all the brothers were aware of and just learned to ignore? Well, she couldn’t sleep anyways.

Cass walked through the halls on her toes, praying to whatever higher power might be listening that she didn’t wake any of the brothers. She paused every so often to check that she could still hear the voice, letting it guide her towards the source.

When the voice was at its loudest, she realized the path was a dead end. She wasn’t even sure what part of the house she was in. She stood in a short hall that ended with a window. There was a large family portrait hanging on one wall, opposite was the only door. It wasn’t unlocked but it was only a closet for storage.

“Help! Please!”

“I’m trying,” Cass whispered, not sure if they could even hear her. “Maybe there’s another hall I missed?” She closed the closet door, ready to backtrack when Lilith appeared beside the family portrait. “About time you showed up. Want to give me a hint to how to find the person in the vents?”

Lilith laughed, tapping the edge of the painting. Cass gave her a skeptical look before inspecting the frame. No fucking way. She pushed the painting to the side revealing an indent from a hidden door. Of course, this creepy house would have hidden doors and secret passageways.

Luckily the picture was light despite the size. Cass pressed on the door, not sure how it opened. There was a click and the door swung backwards, revealing a small room with a stone, spiral staircase with an iron railing. Cass’s jaw dropped staring up into the darkness.

Before she could even take a step, a gloved hand wrapped around her wrist, and pulled her back. She suppressed a surprise scream. Lucifer’s ruby eyes glistened in the dark. A smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It seemed he was just as surprised as Cass to find someone in the room.

“This is no place for humans, you need to go back to your room.” He stepped around her, blocking the way to the stairs. Lilith lounged on the stairs behind him, rolling her eyes at his warning.

“Okay,” Cass said.

Lucifer took a step towards her, expecting to follow her out. Before she second guessed herself, she rushed under his outstretched arm, towards the stairs. Within a second, Lucifer had pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her, constricting her movement. His breath ghosting over her ear as he chuckled softly.

“You are quite brazen. You do know that don’t you?”

“I figured at least saying the answer you wanted would help you save face,” Cass answered, failing to escape his grasp.

“I’m not giving you a choice, Cass. Go back to your room if you value your life. This is the Devildom after all, you need to follow certain rules to ensure your safety.” He let Cass go without warning, causing her to stumble out of the room. She turned around in time to see the door close behind her.

“What are you hiding, Lucifer?” She whispered, staring at the door.  

[mangoposts]

i just have to tell someone bc i literally can’t tell anyone irl abt this(rant)

Back in july my friends and i went to dollar general for slime supplies(lol) and as i’m looking for the glue i run into this really cute boy. I thought he looked familiar and mistook him for someone else from the neighboring town and never really thought about him again.. until fast forward the 1st day of school and i notice there’s a new kid (i live in a small town 😭) i’m like wait i’ve seen this kid before. it’s the boy from the store!! I tell my friends that i think he’s cute and the next day i find his snap, i add him and notice something new on snap map

He’s my new fucking next door neighbor

I’m in denial so i look out my window and the first thing i see is him playing basketball.. I’m like no shot.

He asked if i was his neighbor at a football game and i was like well yeah. He was like cool and kept talking about wanting to egg my house

???

but then over the weekened my (now ex bff) was going through a “terrible” break up and basically ditched me to go hang out w him and group of friends and i was like wtf!!! i told u i thought he was cute!!! and she was like i’m sorry just going through something and wanted to get my mind if things ☹️(she didn’t do anything w him but i fucking hate her fake ass)

idk my friends always catch him staring at me in lunch but i’m such a pussy i can’t turn around and say something. We got seated next to eachother in a class not too long ago and we talk here and there. But what rlly did it for me was when he started hanging out with my fucking brother. like really. my brother.

His reposts r wild, shit like “i wanna tell her idk how she would react though” “i would drop everyone for this relationship” but i don’t see him hanging around any girls likes he’s been home this ENTIRE break so i’m like who tf u talking abt???!!! (pls be me) and then he changed his pfp to i❤️latinas (i am latina!!!)

In conclusion i am borderline stalking him through my window and idk what to do bc i think he’s crazy cute but i’m so shy and can’t do anything abt it!!!!help💗💗(i get to see him tmmr at school bc winter break ended😍)

BITCHHHHH GO TALK TO HIM WTF ARE U DOINGGGGGG THATS UR MAN like stop you can’t just be next to him all day and say nothing. Ur making me insane

I also think my neighbor is hot and i literally go outside to talk with him whenever he lets his dog out like don’t be shy talk to ur hot neighbor

[lyxthen]

MESOAMERICAN FANTASY YIPPEE

I wish I could draw cool backgrounds. Man. I literally have so many ideas... I want to draw home. I want to make a version of latinoamerica that isn't ridden with corrupt politicians and crime syndicates funding the government and american intervention. I want to enjoy the forests and the lakes and the animals and the stories. I want peace and love on planet earth and a pet jaguar. I want sustainable agriculture and rainbow corn and slavery-free chocolate. I want native bees to thrive and I want monarch butterflies to thrive and I want axolotls to thrive and I want quetzales to thrive. I want clean water and public baths.

I know the aztecs were imperialists. They were, plain and simple. But if I were to daydream a better version of my home, I'd make it so there are no empires. I'd make it so there was no war. Ritual war, perhaps, war reenactment, sports and the like. Not war over resources. This is a fertile land, there is enough for everyone. And I'd like to believe humans would choose to be good.

I love the colonial and early Mexican industrial revution aesthetics, but I am saving that for my more grim-dark fantasy world. The one with wars an oppression and discrimination. Because that time period is marked by that. And I'd like to explore those themes.

I am rambling I know but listen I am just happy I am making progress with this project. I have ideas. I have the basics of a conlang laid down, I have a map, I have some short stories written down.

Something I did do is that I gave this civilization sheep. I have a middle east-like/mediterranean region, so I said sure, they can have sheep, whatever. They can have oranges and lemons (you know how much Mexicans love lime. Favorite fruit flavour tbh) and they can have linen and papyrus as well (those as imported products). Maybe pomegranates, dill and other herbs.

They don't have horses. In my mind, I always relate horses to war. I'm not giving them that. I don't want empires, I made that clear. They will be mostly small countries and city-states, then, small towns around them, and nomadic tribes further north. I have worldbuilt for the colder climate, and the tribe from there has a more centralised mode of goverment with a monarchy.

But I'm starting all wrong. The city I thought of first was Túle. It has a monarchy as well. There's a scholarly class and a peasant class and a religious class and a merchant class. I'm not creative enough to imagine a world without class differences, sorry. But I don't want people to be poor, outright. Everyone has stuff to eat. People are kind and share what they have. There's public education (this one is something the aztecs actually had, believe it or not). It is, like tenochtitlan, on top of a lake and next to a volcano, so agriculture is boomin'. Unlike the aztecs they are not a militaristic society. Warriors are well respected, but war is a ritual matter. Battles are schedule, and there's arbiters and set rules. Taking prisoners is encouraged, while killing outright is discouraged, for the most part. But people make sure the war is fair. Its a diplomatic affair. Raiding cities or killing civilians is forbidden.

This is true for most civilizations living in the plains, and the forests.

The tribes of the cold far north do not engage in war. They say their people were destroyed by war, once, and it is forbidden. They think of the people south as rather uncivilised, but they are in good terms, over all. The people down south see the northern people a similar way. There is trade between them. They have the darkest skin and curly hair, as opposed to the people on the mainland, who have straight hair and brown skin. But of course, these are not hard lines. There is no racial segregation. Báliliwa, a princess of the North, had famously long, cloud-like hair.

At the western side there is a chain of islands with a Mediterranean-like climate. Trade and sailing are important for the people there. People in the mainland tend to be scared of the sea. The sea people are not scared, and they know how to read the stars. They have linen and citrus fruit and paper. They don't have anything similar to a centralized goverment. They are composed of mostly prosperous small towns.

The people living in the desert are nomadic as well, but more similar to the city people in values. They get along very well. They maintain trade routes alive.

In the very south, in the warmer forests, there is a bigger emphasis on academia. Astronomy, magic, architecture and such. They have city states as well. They plant cacao and zapote, papaya and mamey, and vanilla.

In terms of domesticated animals, we have turkey, bulls, sheep, alpacas, dogs, cats, rabbits, bees, silkworms, capibaras and ñandús. There have been failed attempts ar domesticating deer, but it remains an important source of meat, all things considered. While I didn't plan including an analogue to incan societies, since I am not familiar with them, I just think Alpacas and Capibaras Ñandús are adorable. They are so cute... How could I not have them?? The bees and the silk worms are native species (the bees are Melipona bees, and the silkworms are some saturnidae moth, similar to their Asian counterparts).

The staple crops are of course corn, beans and pumpkins/zucchini/squash. Yes they have tortillas. If medieval high fantasy worlds can have bread I can have tortillas. There's also potatoes, amaranth, peanuts, avocado, tomatoes, tomatillo, and pepper. Of course there's pepper! Many varieties. Nopal is also important in people's diets. There's milk, which means there's cheese, which means you can make Enchiladas Suizas!!

For fibers, there's linen (expensive export) silk (time and labor intensive) cotton and ceiba fibers. There's also leather, and fur/pelts. Producing these fibers, and spinning and weaving and embroidery are ocupations held in very high regard.

The magic system of my world is animistic, and therefore the religion is as well. Everything is alive and sentient, therefore, everything can be *befriended*. Since this is my little escapist world, I wanted to have a magic system based on friendship. So you can befriend the wind or the sea or the earth, or fire or snow, and light and shadow, and they will help you when you if you are in need. But most people befriend the things that are around them, because the souls of the earth or the wind are too big. They might befriend the land which they plant, or a specific kind of plant, or the shore of a single river. Everything has a soul and a personality, even a rock on the side of the road can become a friend. Or an enemy. People are very respectful of nature, because you don't want to anger it. You want to be in good terms with it.

These souls can take physical form as well. They don't do this often, however. They also speak their own language, different from that of humans. But a lot of them have learned to speak with us, when there's the need. The form they take is accord to their temperament, so a river might take a fish-like form, for example.

There's six great wills that rule over the world, and that together encompass the concience of the world itself. There's the Sun, the Moon, the Sky, the Earth, the Stars, and the New Moon. These are like, the big ones. The legends. The oldest ones, and therefore the most aware. The older a thing gets, the more aware, the more powerful and wise. And this includes man-made things.

Spirits can marry and have children with humans, in their physical form. Nwibahen, for example, is daughter of the Early Snowfall. Nitahen was the daughter of the Light of Dawn. Just like you can befriend a spirit, you can also make them fall in love with you, you can make them resent you, you can be in diplomatic terms with them, etc.

I realize this post got out of hand. Uh. Sorry. This is very unorgsnized, and will be subject to changes. Aaa

Ss

No one will read this lmao. He accidentally wrote a fucking. A fucking. Idk how many words this is. But anyway.

[songs-about-girls-like-me]

chapter 9: an unidentified bug

(Author's note: le puse "Mr. G" a nuestro maestro. I was giggling so much when I came up with that. Also, I will call people "random girl/boy" when they are irrelevant. Ok, cool)

I was highlighting something in my geography textbook to make a "bright sun" (which was a graphic organiser thing) in my notebook during class. Our teacher, Mr. G, the one who had sang and danced at the disco, was obsessed with making us do "original significative sentences" or "bears" by its initials in spanish. It was a friday and the school day was almost over. I was bored and I just wanted it to be 1:30 already. We were told to use our glue stick to make a circle for the center of the sun with red ink pen. I always thought these graphic organizers were ugly as sin, and I wished we could just do mind maps or a normal summary instead. We couldn't even color it in or use different colors and my sunbeams always looked wonky.

The girls sitting with me in my team were: a girl called Queenie who was in jazz with us, Poppy, wearing a side pony with white ribbon in her hair, and another random girl classmate. Random girl and Queenie were part of the girls who teased Poppy about her bra during camp, and all three were friends and were now talking about their friday outing over Mr. G who was still talking about how to do a "Bear". I yawned and got my ruler out to make the sunbeams when Random girl and Queenie started looking secretively at each other, and I noticed they were side eyeing Poppy. I took a glance and I instantly knew. There was something walking on Poppy's perfectly gelled hair. A little insect of some sort, colored in black and some green or yellow. It was a bug I'd never seen before, at least half a centimeter big or even larger. I knew they were probably thinking it was lice, and I supposed it was a fair guess, adding up the fact that we had had "lice season" in school just before the summer holidays. But I wasn't sure, it seemed way too big. And the color made no sense and it was walking over the gelled rock hard hair, not her side bangs or the rest of her fluffy hair. I had had lice when I was in 3rd grade. Well, not lice, just nits or whatever baby lice are called. I knew they sucked but I also knew some hair washes with alcohol would terminate them in a weekend. I thought we should say something to Poppy and even to Mr. G so that she could go to the school nurse, who was the one to check on lice always. The school nurse and I shared first name and was never mean.

"OMG, IT MOVED!" Random girl screamed and I rolled my eyes. "OMG, OMG" Went Queenie. "What?" Poppy was looking nervous. "You have-" I started.

"You have lice!!" Said Random girl. "What??!" Poppy was terrified. She looked like she couldn't even move. The two girls moved back a meter, pushing their chairs away with their feet while still sitting down. "You- there's an insect on your hair, you should-" I really tried, but my classmates screamed and Poppy was stiff as a board and she looked like crying with her eyes closed, gripping her chair tightly as if that would help. I got a bit pissed at her friends cause I knew this could be handled better and they literally were still screaming !!?

So I stood up with all my Hermione-Granger-personality-complex that made me think I was really more capable than my classmates at times and went looking for our teacher. But Random girl stood up too and we both went to look for Mr. G and she talked loudly over me so she got to tell him about the bug however she wanted to. Then Poppy was sent to the school nurse and that was that. But it almost felt like she got “evacuated” from our classroom because of these girls’ behavior. I was annoyed at them because it would’ve been nicer to keep people's lice a bit quiet, specially if they are your friend! And we weren’t even sure if it was actual lice or a random bug! I shook my head in disapproval and rolled my eyes, going back to take a seat to finish my school work.

Then, 20 minutes later, the school day finally finished and we were lining up in the hallway with our schoolbags to head out to the yard. The tiny hallway was always chaos with all the kids from our class (we were around 80 kids), and we all would push each other making the line so messy some people would even fall to the floor. It could be kinda fun. I wasn't Hermione all the Time. Except for when you actually hurt yourself, like, someone stepping on you, or falling with an elbow all the way to the slippery cream-colored tiles, etc. Everyone was chatting really loud, and Ella, Liv and I were no exception. They asked me a bit about Poppy’s bug incident which was the hot topic of the afternoon. I said I thought it could’ve been just an insect and I wasn't sure it was lice. She still wasn't back from the nurse when I looked around, though. My friends agreed that her friends had been quite sucky.

Ella somehow knew today it was Poppy's birthday party and I had to open my eyes big for how much of a pity that was. I felt bad for her.

"Damn" said Liv making a face. We all agreed to that "damn" and then kept talking about a Disney Channel show or started playing fight or something.

"I think I won't go" in the hallway it was easy to overhear people's conversations cause we all were really close.

"Well, obviously! She's got lice. Like-- I wish I could go, Queenie, we just can't. Even if it's her birthday party! No one should go." It also wasn't as if they were trying to keep it quiet.

Queenie was lowkey dumb so I never minded her much, but Random girl seemed a bit too decided on the matter. She didn't necessarily looked happy, but she was too serious. It definitely seemed like she was taking on the opportunity to throw Poppy under the bus and shit-talk her. And she was just always finding ways to try to walk over her.

When my mom picked me and my sisters up later and asked about our days, I started talking about it, speaking about Poppy as "Poppy [Last Name]" cause I had never talked about her before. When I had a full story to tell in the car, I would sit on the edge of the car seat (I always got the middle seat) and would rest my elbows on the back of the front seats to be closer to the driver. Sometimes I even rested my chin on my hands. I don't know why I did that, maybe so I could get everyone's reaction from that point of view. My sisters and my mom thought Random girl was obviously a terrible friend, more like, she even probably hated Poppy [Last Name] and was actively being mean to her. My older sister thought Random girl was jealous cause Poppy [Last Name] was really pretty and boys liked her, unlike her who was not, and was also a bitter envious bitch. She didn't actually say "bitch" though, cause we would never curse in front of my mom. My younger sister would always provide very good reactions like "no! really?" and "omg, she didn't" or even a small gasp or a shake of the head which was always good to have as support while explaining things.

"Yeah! and now... like- She's probably not going to have a birthday party!" I said, my eyebrows raised in a worried look. I think about this and I am reminded of how young I was lol.

"Yes, probably not. Poor Poppy." Said my mom, driving us. "But you can be nice to her, Rees."

I sat back and rested my back on the seat, pulling my schoolbag close to my chest. "Yea" I nodded. The september sun was still very warm and the car air always felt horribly stale with the carpeted surfaces of the car and the day-long-worn school uniforms. I had taken off my brown ballet flats with a flick of my feet. For a second I kept thinking about that party and if anyone would show up, or who had she invited. Or whether Poppy would be sad or angry at the moment. I would try to show up, if I had been invited.

[lastoneout]

GREAT!

I want to preface this by saying I was not one of those kids who never learned about other countries. I only had PBS which exclusively played educational shows, I was obsessed with segments about travel that came up in those shows, and my ADHD ass used to spend hours in class staring at the world map on the wall instead of paying attention.

Anyway! Back when I was a little kid watching my first few Studio Ghibli movies on VHS tapes rented from god knows where I remember really liking Sheeta's voice in Castle in the Sky. I had no idea why she sounded the way she did, but I knew it wasn't an American accent because that's what all the other English VAs had and also I lived in America, but it wasn't a British accent either, but I was also like eleven and had no idea how to figure out what type of accent someone had, so I simply assumed she either Just Talked Like That(I was in speech therapy and had strong opinions about being forced to Speak "Correctly" for no reason so this was based in my mind) or had some weird niche European accent I'd never heard before. It didn't really matter, I thought her voice was beautiful and mysterious and I legit used to focus on her lines because they sounded that lovely to me.

Side note, it's incredible I didn't realize I was bisexual sooner.

So I filed that away as just something that was going on with that actress and didn't think about it again for the next *checks calendar* like fifteen years despite rewatching the movie DOZENS of times within that time period.

A few months ago I decided to rewatch Castle in the Sky again because I hadn't watched it in a while and I knew it was one of my favorites, and lo and behold!! Sheeta starts talking and I go "wow man I love her voice I really wonder what's going on with the way she talks....WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!!"

Her english VA is from New Zeland. She has a New Zeland accent. I know what that accent sounds like, I have for years, I've MET people who live there, I've also read Anna Paquin's wikipedia page and seen OTHER MOVIES SHE'S IN, but somehow I never fucking put the pieces together. Literally the most American shit I've ever done my ass is here like "what an ethereal voice I wonder why she sounds like that it really makes her feel like a princess from another world I guess she just has a special voice-" GIRL SHE'S FROM FUCKING NEW ZELAND.

I do stand by her voice being beautiful tho, I absolutely love it and her accent and I do think having her have an accent no one else in the cast does adds to the air of mystery about her. I just feel SO fucking stupid for never actually realizing what the fuck was going on. Anyway feel free to mock me for this, I deserve it.

y'all wanna hear the most American(tm) shit I've ever done