#but would definitely be a career sort of thing. Like if I had the money for a fully stocked sculpture room and and a sewing room

[icewindandboringhorror]

If you became super rich and could design your own house, but could only add THREE unnecessary/random/expensive home additions (like how people will have bowling alleys, movie theatres, closets with museums of shoes, car display rooms, spa rooms, wine cellars, etc. in their mansions) - what three would you choose?

[ravcnism]

HEY uhm.. i've been having this idea.. like imagine kenji sato x m!reader athlete as well? help, i just thought the dynamic would be cute. it could be a rival team on the baseball league or another sports. I just thought it would be cool!

STRIKEOUT. — KEN SATO x Male!Athlete READER

Summary: The Hiroshima Toyo Carp may have a new player in town, but his name is nowhere near unheard of. The prized star pitcher of The States takes the country by storm when he spontaneously shows up against the Yomiuri Giants. Ken Sato’s career is given a run for its money.

# # TAGS: Longform, Enemies to Lovers but like Still Enemies as Lovers, A LOT of Tension, Sports Anime-Level of Ridiculous, Star-Athlete!Male Reader, Author Doesn't Actually Know Anything About Baseball, Sort of a Slow Burn? No Beta We Die Like Onda

# # WARNINGS: Mild Violence, Mature Language, Eventual Smut if I’m Brave Enough, English is not My First Language, Around 2000 Words, Part One of ??

Night fell promptly upon the Sato residence. The sun had tucked itself into the sea and left a trail of gold in its warm, glistening wake. From afar, the ever-lively city of New Tokyo lit up street by street.

Beneath the water, in the basement, a newly-bathed Emi waddled towards her corner of the house; smelling of fresh sakura petals, and cuddling a half-crushed Nissan Skyline GT-R. Full from dinner, and satisfied by her shower, she felt the gentle arms of sleep coaxing her to a nap. With a squeaky yawn, and a stretch of her arm, she succumbed to its calls and laid on her spot on the ground. A very amused Hayao Sato came walking after her. “Silly girl. The bath and snack combo never fails to knock you out, huh?”

Kenji Sato, well-dressed for a night out, entered after. He was preoccupied by his sleeves, fingers fumbling to button them shut. “Remember, Dad. No videos after 10 pm. We can’t ruin her sleep schedule again.”

“Of course, Kenji.” His father waved him off with his cane. “You act as if I don’t know her routine like the back of my hand.”

“I’m just making sure.” He was fixing his hair, then, gelling it into place. His eyes narrowed at his own reflection, trying to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. “And of course you’ve got Mina to help.”

“Definitely, Ken.” As if on cue, the round hovering bot came floating in. “We have everything under control. You needn’t worry about us here.”

Professor Sato chuckled at his son, leaning on his good foot. “You seem to have a lot of nervous energy in you, Kenji.”

The batter sighed, tugging on his collar one last time. “I’m always nervous when I’m not playing.” Deciding he looked alright, Ken left his reflection alone. “No idea why. Might have something to do with my dislike towards things that I can’t control, but I’m not gonna get into that right now–” He shuffled about, searching frantically for his jacket. “Mina, where did I put my–?” An extended robot arm appeared from the floor and handed it to him. “Oh. Thanks.”

“Try to enjoy yourself anyway, Kenji.” Professor Sato had walked over to Emi, who was fast asleep, snoring slightly. He lifted a hand and rubbed her head. “I think it’s good that you go to these games even when you’re not scheduled. I can tell it lifts your team’s spirits.”

“Yeah, well, honestly I’m still trying to get used to it. The whole sportsmanship thing.” Ken sprayed his cologne on. He made a quick jog towards Emi and kissed her cheek. “Sleep tight, Sweetie.” He looked at his dad. With his motorcycle keys now in hand, he walked backwards to their glass elevator. “If anything happens, call me. You know the drill.”

“Yes, Ken,” replied Mina. “We do. Rest assured, there will not be a repeat of last time.”

“Right, right. Last time.” Kenji forced out a laugh. “Look, if she wakes up and I’m not home yet, try to get her to tire herself out. Load up a park. Throw some balls. But no flying outside, please? You know she gets carried away.”

“Understood.”

With a final glance, and a reluctant sigh, he stepped into the lift. “I’ll be back soon.” Leaving her 20-foot Kaiju-of-a-daughter never got any easier — no matter how many times he had gone and done it. He waved his family a quick goodbye, before disappearing from their line of sight.

His dad was right. It was good that he was going. The Giants had a game to win.

"Good evening sports fans! Ladies and gentlefolk, we welcome you to the highly anticipated matchup between the Hiroshima Toyo Carp and your Yomiuri Giants.”

The stadium was bright and buzzing with excitement. Ken was used to the energy, but he never grew tired of it. There was something almost magical about having this many people in a stadium together. Something electrifying about hearing their collective voices. Whether or not he was set to play, the crowd was what grounded him into focus. He adored their cheers, regardless of who it was directed to.

“We’ve got an intense start to the game so far, the home crowd doesn’t look too happy with Tateoka’s second strikeout.”

“How's it looking?” Ken appeared beside his teammate, Yuki, who was watching the game by the barriers.

“Bad. We're dying out there, Sato. Tateoka's our second batter. We're down one strikeout.”

Ken's brows knitted together, intrigued. He had gotten here a little late and missed a good chunk of the first inning. He had missed most of the commentary, too, so he was pretty much left in the dark. All he knew was that the home crowd didn't look too cheerful. And neither did Coach Shimura. ( Though technically, he couldn't remember a time when Shimura looked anything less than disappointed. ) Ken settled into his spot, nursing a canned soda.

The pitcher’s back was against him, his jersey name too far for him to read. He couldn't see who it was. Ken took notice of their form. Their figure. “Wait, who's throwing again?”

His teammate dropped a name so familiar it sent Ken choking on his drink.

“Fucking, who?” He dropped the name of a famous star-athlete. A name he saw on billboards, news reports, articles. A name so expensive it put his vintage cars to shame. A name with a strikeout rate so disgustingly high it had the best teams falling to their knees. A staggering 1.75 ERA. Almost zero walks. Your name, sent a shiver down Ken Sato’s spine. You, the Mets’ notorious Bullet, now a surprise player of the Toyo Carp.

He watched as you turned around. Your face came into view. You were frighteningly calm. The Giants’ batter was one strike away from an out. Kenji swallowed thickly. “When the hell did he get here?”

“Yeah. Apparently they traded him to Carp a week ago. Didn't get much buzz for some reason.” Yuki scoffed. “Think they covered it up? Element of surprise? It was a pretty big move.”

The fact that Kenji had never been put up against you before was sheer dumb luck. That's what he thought, anyway. Despite the fact that the both of you had been celebrities in The States, the seasons just never aligned well enough to get the both of you to play at the same park. But he hadn't dreamed of it. Who in their right mind would? Like a bullet from a gun, your pitches were unstoppable. You had a mutant-like control over the ball. There were studies on the physics of your technique. Even the best batters would miss your throws. And at that moment, as he watched his teammate strike himself out, Kenji wondered if he'd miss, too.

He wouldn't have to keep wondering. Understanding the weight of your presence, the Yomiuri Giants opted to bring in the calvary.

“Sato.” Ken flinched at Shimura’s voice. He looked over his shoulder, facing him. “Locker room. Get dressed — I'm calling you up.”

He laughed, nervously. “You sure that's legal, coach?” He wasn't scheduled to play today, and spontaneously entering a non-player into the field was only allowed upon certain circumstances. Like an injury, for example.

“Of course it is.” Shimura grumbled. “Tokuda just broke his arm.”

The mentioned Tokuda stood behind him, sipping on some soda, with his obviously not-broken arm. “You heard the man, Ken. I just broke my arm.”

Ken grimaced, heading for the door. “The press is going to love this…” Japan's finest batter, versus The States’ fastest pitcher. Oh, this would make the headlines for sure.

Kenji did as he was told. He walked into the locker room, then walked out in full-attire. The speakers crackled to life. There was a steady rise in the crowd’s demeanor. People were slowly piecing the situation together. The announcers were losing their minds. “And It looks like — oh my goodness, folks. I don't believe this. Ken Sato has been called up into the field!”

The stadium went alight. Ken walked into the park and wondered if the lights were a little brighter than usual. He was doing his stretches, rolling his shoulders. His bat was handed to him and he flipped it in his hand. He allowed the cheers to boost his energy, and perhaps a bit of his ego.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we might be witnessing baseball history tonight! Two of the opposing team’s star players have come face to face for the first time ever. And it's happening right here, right now.”

You met his eyes. Ken’s breath hitched. You were so… intense. He couldn't properly describe it. You watched him move into position like a lion stalking its prey.

“Will Sato stop the Toyo Carp’s brand new Bullet? Or will he walk out of this game bleeding?”

The trick was to look them in the eye. A pitcher was no different from a batter when it came to a game. They shared the same weight of responsibility. The only time a stadium is silent is when they're standing face to face. Like a duel. One of Ken’s techniques was staring them down and reminding them that he was a force to be reckoned with. He was Ken Sato, for crying out loud.

Unfortunately for him, you were unshaken. Which he would’ve been offended by, if he were younger and more immature. No matter, he had other things to look for. Like the cues. Each pitcher had their own cue; a sort of tell that told Ken what kind of throw they’d be going for. He didn’t hit those pitches out of pure luck. Contrary to popular belief, he was actually thinking these games through. There were a plethora of things to look at. A pitcher’s stance, their position, which hand they were using. In an easier game, Ken would be able to read these pitchers like an open book.

But if you were a book, then you would've been written in a different language. He could find no such cues. He didn’t really have anything to calculate. You were as unpredictable as you were quick. None of his usual techniques seemed to be working on you.

The last resort: keep your eye on the damn ball, and freakin’ swing.

You held your hand outward, fingers pointed at him. There was a kind of hunger in your eyes, an expression that made Ken’s heart skip a beat. Your focused glare made him feel as if a red dot had appeared on his forehead. Like you had marked him for prey. It felt… personal. Like it wasn’t a part of the game, and you were only pointing at him. A threat. A dare.

You pulled your pitching arm back. He swore he heard a gun cock. The stadium went quiet. The crowd held its breath. So did Ken. He tightened his grip on his bat. He waited, eagerly, for you to make your move. He was counting the milliseconds, watching you, anticipating your throw, waiting for you to shoot.

And you did.

Ken blinked, and the ball was gone from your hands. He released the breath he was holding through a disbelieved scoff. He turned, and the catcher had stumbled slightly, holding your ball. The crowd grew into disarray, a rising cacophony of cheers and boos. They just couldn’t believe it. Ken Sato not only missed your pitch, but wasn’t able to move at all. He couldn’t even swing. You were too fast. Too abrupt.The ball was a white blur, there a moment, then gone the next. It wasn’t an issue of the curve, nor the direction. It was just too fucking fast.

His teammates couldn’t believe their eyes. And neither did his coach. Ken craned his head to look at you. You stared back at him, stone-faced.

He took a breath to regain his composure, resuming his earlier stance. He would never admit it, but he was rattled. He was trying to understand how that throw was humanly possible. How he had somehow forgotten to move. He could do nothing more but stand haunted as he heard the resounding “strike one!” from the umpire. This wasn’t the first time he’d missed, but it was the first time he froze. It was a spectacle to all, and a moment of horror for his fans. Did the Unstoppable Ken Sato finally meet his match? Even if he did, he was determined not to lose a second time.

“Okay,” he whispered. He took a deep, focused breath, slightly shifting his stance. He kept his feet firm on the ground, bat at the ready. “Okay, Hotshot. Bring it on.”

You kept your eyes on him and him alone. You stared at him as if you were the only two people in the stadium. The crowd went silent once again. The Giants fans were desperate to give Sato the focus he so-terribly needed, but the Carp fans were just curious to see how the second pitch would go. The air was thick and heavy with tension.

Like before, you threw your hand out, fingers pointed at Ken. You drew your pitching arm back, like an archer, and there was that sound in his mind again. The cock of a gun. Ken waited. He counted you down. He was a hunter dressed in camo, waiting for a deer to move.

Then, for the first time since he’d seen you, your expression changed. You grinned at him.

Then you winked.

Shit.

You threw the ball. Ken swung.

But he missed.

The crowd erupted into chaos. There was an indistinguishable pandemonium of disdain and celebration. People screamed and jumped and waved their banners as high as they possibly could. A number of them had already entered a state of acceptance — the Giants would lose to a perfect game. No batter would ever get through the wall that was you. But a lot of them kept their faith in the ever-notorious Sato. He could hit the last shot. He could pull this off. He might have been struggling to match your speed, but he would figure it out. They believed in him like he was a god.

And at that moment, as Kenji heard the echoing “strike two!” he certainly felt the anger of one.

Did you just fucking wink? Did you seriously have the audacity to wink at him? Kenji took it personally. Who did you think you were? Though his lips spoke nothing of the foul words he wished so eagerly to shout, it was clear on his face that he wanted you gone. It was one thing to embarrass him with a fastball, but another to rub it in. He wouldn’t let that slide. He wouldn’t allow you to strike him out.

Yoshimura was gripping the barrier so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.“Eyes up, Sato!”

Kenji breathed. Through his nose, this time. He drew a long breath into his entire body and blew it out through his lips. He wouldn’t miss. He couldn’t miss. While he might have already taught himself the humility that came with losing, he hadn’t taught himself jackshit about losing to you.

“If looks could kill,” whispered Ami Wakita, the reporter who watched the game from the press booth. Typing into her laptop, she wrote: “There seems to be obvious tension on the field. Nothing new for Ken Sato, yet, significantly different. Japan’s star player has finally met his match. This game has been a long time coming.”

This was his last chance, and he wasn’t going to waste it. Kenji raised his bat, and narrowed his eyes. You weren’t blind to his added efforts, and smirked at him again. Oh, how it made his blood boil.

Point.

Pull.

Throw.

Swing.

This time, the ball made contact.

The crowd blew up once more, exhausting their lungs as they watched the ball fly across the field. Kenji had hit it. Kenji had managed to catch your bullet-of-a-pitch. He dropped his bat to the ground and ran for his life. Base to base, corner to corner. Kenji leapt across the field and jumped for home.

“Safe!”

The crowd went wild. He had heard stadiums cheer for him before, but he didn't think he had ever heard anything this loud. With a relieved laugh, Kenji got up from the ground, and finally caught his breath. His teammates ran to greet him, though they had only passed the first inning. With a round as intense as that one, they felt it was only right to celebrate a little early.

And then he looked at you. Your eyes met. You were smiling at him again. He didn't like the lack of concern on your face. He didn't like that you didn't seem challenged. And he especially didn't like the fact that he was out there playing for his life, while you seemed to have played for a weekend game at the park.

Kenji was glaring at you, as if he was burning holes into your head. You lifted a hand and threw him a casual salute, flicking two fingers towards his direction. Dammit, he thought. That wink really threw him off. Which it shouldn't have.

Unfortunately for him, the game was nowhere near the last time you'd interact.

And there'd be the after-party to boot.

[deadmandead10845]

Brady - Fat2Fit2Fat

(243lbs) Brady works at an insurance agency in Kansas City. He’s far away from everything, and hates his job. He hates commuting and has two acquaintances and no real friends. He’s let himself go pretty badly, but he doesn’t have the will power to hit the gym or change any part of his life. Thankfully, he’s been at his company for 10 years and earns a 3 month sabbatical with full pay to use.

(243lbs) Brady took the first part of his sabbatical to hike in the mountains solo. He stumbled upon what looked like an abandoned shack with smoke coming out of the chimney. He knew nightfall would be soon so he wanted to ask the local if he could crash at their place for the night. He knocked on the door and it opened itself. He let himself in and called.

BRADY: Hello!!!

(243lbs) A mysterious figure appeared around the corner. The woman introduced herself as Cora.

CORA: I’ve been practicing witchcraft in the mountains since I was little and now I am the only one left. Some witch will reveal too much about herself and then she’s hunted by the locals. I chose to reveal my house and myself to you because I can tell you’re not from here and you have an open mind.

BRADY: I definitely have an open mind. I came here to the mountains to find myself. I am on a sabbatical trying to find some sort of motivation.

CORA: What is one thing you don’t have control over that you wish to have infinite control of?

BRADY: *looks down at his soft out of shape body and looks up*

His body has always been a sense of insecurity that made him feel inadequate and less than because he wishes he was fit.

CORA: Nothing with power, career, money?

BRADY: I just want to like how I look and control what I look like.

CORA: *rummages through the cabinet and throws some leaves into what looks like a brewing potion. Once all the ingredients were stirred in, the liquid began to glow a pale orange color.*

BRADY: Is this legit going to help me?

CORA: You drink and find out. Or you can go beg your doctor for Ozempic and forget you came here. At least this is free!

BRADY: I’m not being drugged right now?

CORA: You are, just not a bad kind.

BRADY: *takes the vial of orange liquid and drinks it*

CORA: How do you wish to look?

BRADY: I just want to lose like 75 pounds.

(165lbs) Brady’s pants fell down immediately and his blue polo shirt wore him like a dress.

BRADY: Holy shit I must be hallucinating.

CORA: You’re not but I figured you’d have this reaction. Sleep it off.

Cora snapped her fingers and Brady’s vision blacked out.

—

Brady woke up in his hotel room down at the base of the mountain. He walked to the bathroom and sure enough he was completely thin. He went to put on an outfit and quickly realized nothing in his suitcase would fit him. Everything he had was a 40” waist and all his shirts were XL. He ran through the closest Walmart holding his shorts bunched up in his hand hoping he wouldn’t drop them and bought a new pair of 30” waist shorts. He was so happy.

After his 3 months concluded, he returned to Missouri and submitted his 2 week notice. He wanted a fresh start where he could show off his new skinny body and get laid for once. He was a gay man living in the Midwest with approximately 5 blank Grindr profiles within a 25 mile radius.

(149lbs) Brady packed up all his belongings and moved to Miami. He looked in the mirror and audibly said “I wish I was a twink.” And in the blink of an eye another 15 pounds disappeared off his body. He met Javi at Twist, the local gay club near his apartment. After almost 2 years, the two fell in love and became inseparable and lived together. Javi told Brady he should start going to the gym and getting big arms and a six pack because he wasn’t super into twinks. Brady quietly looked at himself in the bathroom mirror once or twice a week asking for just 1 pound more trying to subtly get larger for Javi without alerting him to his powers given to him by the witch.

(195lbs) Brady had gotten extremely fit and did no work for it. The potion he took two years ago was unbelievable. Javi loved Brady’s new extremely fit body and Brady loved the attention. Brady however, wasn’t sure he loved how he looked. Javi was going away on business to Houston for a month, so Brady booked himself a trip to Hawaii by himself to hopefully ground himself.

(210lbs) Brady wished another 15 pounds of muscle onto his body before he left for Hawaii. He wanted to look his best for the beach so he could post photos of his body online for attention. He wasn’t the happiest, so the online attention helped. Once he landed in Hawaii he took the private boat to the small isolated island resort he had booked.

(175lbs) Brady hated how he looked so he wished 30 pounds off his body because he thought a leaner look would suit him and he tried to walk around the beach and feel comfortable but he really wasn’t sure why he wasn’t comfortable with himself. Brady had an idea, he went to the surf shop in the lobby and bought himself a pair of 2XL swim trunks and went up to his room. He bought himself a case of beers and drank away. He got in the mirror looked at himself and asked for a dad bod.

(280lbs) Brady, still very much in shape but much larger (100lbs larger to be exact) walked down the beach with his beer gut and massive arms. He was happy. He actually liked how he looked. No one recognized him from earlier and all the other guests just thought he was a new arrival to the resort. Brady went back to the surf shop and bought a 2XL Hawaiian shirt before returning home to Florida.

(305lbs) Brady was a huge guy. He wished himself even bigger and squeezed himself into the premium economy seat he booked on points and flew home to Florida. He spent nearly 12 hours total on the plane and when he walked in the door felt like everything was all wrong. He was skinny Brady in Florida, not big and beefy. Javi was due to arrive at any minute. When Brady heard the lock turning, he ran to the bathroom and wished his body back to his 195lb self.

Javi found the 2XL shirts and asked and Brady told him he was trying oversized fashion and didn’t like it, so he threw the shirt away. Brady couldn’t stop thinking about his little escape he had in Hawaii and after a few months went back to the bathroom and wished to be a bit bigger. Javi hated it so much. Javi kept telling Brady to hit the treadmill and to eat less.

(243lbs) Brady was back at the same weight he was before he met Cora the witch. However, he had so much muscle on his body he was a lot smaller than Javi still hated it. Brady loved his small belly and missed playing with the belly he once had when he was an insurance agent back in Missouri. The two attended couple’s therapy to no avail. Ultimately, it let to Brady and Javi breaking up. Javi kicked Brady out of the apartment. Just to get back at Javi, Brady lost all the weight before coming to the apartment to collect his belongings.

Brady needed a new start so he called one of his buddies in New York who was starting a boutique insurance agency and cofounded it with him.

(327lbs) Brady wanted a fresh start in New York so he bought a 3XL hoodie and sweat at the last Walmart before the Holland tunnel, and sat in traffic looking in the mirror and wished to be fat. He’d never been as big as he was now. He watched his body tighten the dress of a hoodie he had put on and fill it out. Compared to last week in Miami, he was completely unrecognizable. He was truly starting over. Once he showered in his apartment he got a look at his new fat body covered in stretch marks and rolls. Brady was generally happy with his size. The only drawback and he couldn’t find much clothing in the city stores that fit him well so he was barely able to dress well.

(327lbs) Four years went by and Brady’s joint venture had taken off. He was able to buy an apartment and afford more than ever. He seemed very content. He was overworked. One fateful day on the train he dozed off. In his dream he was even fatter than he is now. The dream was so vivid he could feel his body sloshing with every step.. when in reality the jerky subway train was sloshing him around. He missed his stop and rode the train to the end asleep. In the dream, Brady said he wanted to get fatter and…

(415lbs) He woke up. His shirt had ridden up his entire belly and his pants completely ripped. He was huge. Brady embarrassed walked to the next departing train that would get him home attracting the stares of everyone for the lack of clothing he had one, especially for his size. Brady decided to take several months remote from work after that, to give his business partner a believable timeline for his nearly 100lb weight gain.

(415lbs) Brady went to Industry, a New York gay bar and opened up his shirt in hopes he would find a chub chaser. Unfortunately he just got stares.

(451lbs) Brady had to get an entire new suit made for him because of his sheer girth. His seamstress couldn’t believe the size of him. She had made him his suit four years ago when he weighed more than a hundred pounds less. Brady knew it wasn’t going to last long because he planned to put a little more weight on. His business partner couldn’t believe the size of him either. Brady needed to remove the armrests on his desk chair so he could fit.

(485lbs) By the summer, Brady had willed another 35lbs onto his body. He attended a big party on Fire Island having fun with his friends. All of the sudden he saw a familiar face.

Javi.

BRADY: Javi???

JAVI: Hiiii…. Have we met?

BRADY: Javi it’s me

JAVI: Where have we met you look so familiar??

BRADY: It’s me, Brady

JAVI: Brady who?

BRADY: Your ex boyfriend.

JAVI: There is just no way. I thought you lost all the weight you put on.

BRADY: Then I gained it back, and then some

JAVI: Holy shit Brady you look awful, do you need me to get you a nutritionist? I am worried.

BRADY: No not at all. I am super happy the way I look.

JAVI: Weren’t you happy when half of Miami wanted to f*ck you?

BRADY: No, but I am happy now.

JAVI: Can I ask how much…

BRADY: How much I weigh?

JAVI: ….

BRADY: Four Hundred Eighty Five pounds last I checked. I don’t really fluctuate.

JAVI: God, this is just insane to me..

Javi walked away.

About 10 minutes later, Javi’s friend Andres walked by and…

ANDRES: Brady?

BRADY: Andres long time no see

ANDRES: I’m sorry Javi said all that… he’s just insecure and projecting on you.

BRADY: Yeah that’s why we broke up all those years ago.

ANDRES: Well, let me tell you. I like the change

Andres grabbed Brady’s belly from underneath and leaned in and kissed Brady on the cheek. He began to walk away.

BRADY: Wait a second, Andres!

Brady grabbed Andres’s hand and pulled him back for a real kiss. Andres’s hand found its way back to under Brady’s belly jiggling it while the pair made out.

Javi watched from a distance fuming with anger.

BRADY: Does a guy like me get to ask you for your number?

ANDRES: Definitely.

Javi walked over

JAVI: Wow Andres making out with my fat ex in front of me is really classy.

ANDRES: Sorry you’re too superficial to understand what a big guy can give you.

(508lbs) After texting for weeks, Andres invited Brady to go golfing with his friend.

ANDRES: Hey big fella.

BRADY: Hey handsome, ready to play?

ANDRES: Yes it’s been a while.

BRADY: It’s been too long for me too.

ANDRES: Shirt’s a bit small Brady…

Brady, embarrassed tried to pull the shirt down over his belly. He knew it was way too small but wanted to test Andres.

BRADY: Wow, I seem to have grown out of it…

ANDRES: Been a while since you wore it?

BRADY: I think this fit me when we met a few weeks ago.

ANDRES: Are you going to try to tell me it shrunk in the wash then?

BRADY: No, I just have put on about 25 pounds since that pool party and haven’t bothered to go shopping.

ANDRES: Wha— … how?

BRADY: Guess I’ve been hungry

Andres knew that Brady was the man for him in that moment. The two began dating.

(528lbs) Brady had gotten into the bad habit of putting 15lbs on every time he was going to be seen at an event to show that he was a growing man. He attended one of his friend’s backyard weddings and knocked over one of the displays with his huge belly.

Everyone who saw him at this point was asked if he was doing ok or if he needed anything. Some of the attendees even offering to give him a doctor referral for weight loss drugs. He assured them he was perfectly ok.

(600lbs) Brady admittedly took it too far. Brady had weighed in at 551lbs this morning. He had some room in his suit and had a big event for his company. He and his business partner were announcing the sale of their company to a big insurance company. He stood on the scale and watched the number go up until he hit 600lbs on the dot.

He was now basically 75lbs heavier than he was 4 months ago. After the sale of his company, Brady was to retire with enough money for him and his grandchildren (if he ever had any) to live comfortably.

When he got home, he totally forgot he would be facing Andres.

ANDRES: Brady…

BRADY: Hey honey.

ANDRES: Something is different

BRADY: What happened.

ANDRES: You look different. Something is just off.

BRADY: I am not sure what you are talking about.

ANDRES: Wait. Is that the suit you had made last week?

BRADY: Yes

ANDRES: Then why does it look like it’s about to pop.

BRADY: Oh yes something is different.

ANDRES: What.

BRADY: I got fatter.

ANDRES: Since this morning?

BRADY: Babe I think it’s time I tell you something.

Brady explained to Andres the whole story about his past life in Missouri. His sabbatical, meeting Cora the witch. He explained how he lost all the weight for Javi. Went to Hawaii and experimented with his body in different sizes.

ANDRES: What do you expect me to believe you have powers or something?

BRADY: Watch this

Brady walked into the bathroom, and willed himself to be a twink again. He walked out weighing 150lbs adorned with abs.

Andres walked to the kitchen and splashed cold water in his face. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

BRADY: I would never tell anyone about this.

ANDRES: You chose to be fat?

BRADY: If I didn’t I wouldn’t be living with the man of my dreams so let’s not.

ANDRES: Ok you’re scaring me you look emaciated.

BRADY: Oh yeah.

The two started to make out while Brady’s body slowly inflated back to 600lbs. Brady’s face filled out and his abs disappeared. Slowly a belly started to form along with soft supple moobs. His love handles expanded outward and his body started to widen. His thighs began to push against each other as they filled with fat.

Andres was so horny watching his boyfriend blow up to such a massive size and came hands free when he watched the fat pad swallow up Brady’s dick.

ANDRES: So how much do you weigh now?

BRADY: Let’s go see

The scale read 600 pounds.

Brady maintained 600 pounds for a while and about a year and a half into dating Andres, knew it was time. He popped the question getting down on one knee.

He couldn’t get back up after getting down which was very hot to Andres, who eagerly said yes.

(705lbs) Brady returned to the mountains. He bought three aur plane seats and filled them up with his girth. He struggled but he hiked his way all the way up to Cora’s hut wearing a suit to thank her for her potion that changed his life.

Brady knocked on the door which immediately opened. His belly knocked over a beaker off the table which led to Cora running into the room.

CORA: How did you get in here??

BRADY: I opened the door.

CORA: How did you find my house?

BRADY: I’ve been here before.

CORA: Who are you??

BRADY: Do you not remember me?

CORA: No, and I would.

She looked down at Brady’s belly.

BRADY: Oh right would this help?

Brady pulled out his phone and showed her a photo of him from about 10 years before. A photo of him and Javi together where he was less than 200lbs.

CORA: What was your name.. Bradley?

BRADY: Brady, close enough.

CORA: Did I do something wrong with the potion, brew it wrong?? I am so sorry!! Let me help you slim down.

BRADY: No, I am this big by choice. I could get down to this weight again any time.

CORA: Why?

BRADY: I was skinny for a while and I just didn’t like it. I was constantly making adjustments to my body so other men would see me as hot. My boyfriend left me when I decided to try out a *very slight* dad bod.

CORA: So you did this? You could’ve been half the size and still been fat.

BRADY: Well some days it just doesn’t feel like enough.

CORA: I never expected you to look like this. I expected you to have gotten massively jacked and been narcissistic.

BRADY: You were wrong

CORA: Very.

BRADY: I came here to thank you. It took me a long time to get up the mountain, but I knew that before long it would not be possible with my size.

CORA: You could’ve shrunken down to climb up here…

BRADY: But that isn’t me

CORA: Well I am happy.

BRADY: Being confident with my size and my body found me the best fiance ever.

CORA: You mean a chub chaser?

BRADY: —

CORA: Right.

BRADY: Well I mean you would have to be to like me at this size anyways. People stare.

CORA: I am staring.

BRADY: Well thank you for doing this for me.

CORA: Any time. Here, let me get you something.

Cora made a green cocktail of ingredients. She bottled them up.

CORA: You two are getting married?

She said looking at the Lock Screen on Brady’s phone.

BRADY: Yes

CORA: Wait until your wedding night to drink this. You both need to drink it for it to work.

BRADY: What is it?

CORA: You two will never break up or fight.

BRADY: This is perfect.

CORA: You also will never get health issues from your weight because you look like a heart attack waiting to happen.

BRADY: Hey!

CORA: So don’t have one before your wedding!

(750lbs) Brady and Andres had a lovely wedding.

The two got married and after the reception concluded, drank the potions together.

(785lbs) Brady loved going out and seeing the reactions on everyone’s faces seeing his size. He would eat for hours just for show and go home stuffed.

(830lbs) Brady was walking through Central Park. Let’s be real, he was barely moving and barely waddling. Suddenly he saw a familiar face again.

BRADY: Javi!!

JAVI: Holy fuck Brady you are huge.

BRADY: I know. Why are you here?

JAVI: I moved here for work. I got a job at an insurance company.

BRADY: You mean the one named after my last name that I just sold?

JAVI: Oh my god..

BRADY: Yup!

JAVI: What's new with you. I haven't seen you since you hooked up with my best friend at a pool party. I haven't seen him either that was so messy and rude of you.

BRADY: We got married.

JAVI: What…

BRADY: Yes we've been married for just about a year.

JAVI: Bet he didn't expect you to get fatter than you already were.

BRADY: He probably didn't but he loves it. He takes care of me and all the things I can't do anymore.

JAVI: I am so glad I left you before this happened.

BRADY: Me too. Next time you see me, I'm sure I'll be even bigger.

Andres walked up between the two of them.

ANDRES: Javi?

JAVI: This is insane. You married him??

ANDRES: Yes.. of course

JAVI: Why did you let him get this big

BRADY: I’ll answer that. He likes his men big, and I wanted to get big.

JAVI: Is that why you tried to get a dad bod all those years ago?

BRADY: Yes, and now I weigh more than eight hundred pounds.

ANDRES: 830 to be exact.

Javi stormed away.

The end.

[sl-ut]

random college!abby hcs

more!college abby

warnings: mentions of sex, drinking, drugs, and nudity, cursing, mild hint homophobia

first things first: jerry is alive and abby is his pride and joy

i'm serious... her mom died when she was a toddler and jerry hasn't had a long-term relationship since, so he's the only parental figure that she has

he took every precaution while raising her to make sure she always had everything she could ever need while also making sure that she didn't end up being an entitled brat

otherwise, she is very close with both of her father's siblings (her aunt is the only maternal relationship she has and definitely relied on her for all of her personal issues as a teenager), has a good relationship with jerry's mother and step-father

her mother was an only child, but her parents always come over for thanksgiving and even christmas sometimes

she was very supportive of her father taking in yara and lev after she moved out. she knew he was suffering from a severe case of empty nest syndrome. she def makes them feel so welcome right away like those strangers became her siblings in a matter of minutes

i'll only say it once ppl: OLD MONEY

jk i'll say it again. the andersons are a long line of surgeons and doctors so obvi they're gonna be well off

like, not "fund a research facility to get my kid into college" rich, they're more "i casually have a summer home, a ski chalet, and a ridiculously nice house to live in year round" rich.

her only real relationship was in high school (trigger warning: it was owen)

our bby had a bad case of comphet as a teenager

like fr she had not even considered the fact that she might be gay until she was two knuckles deep in some sorority girl during a party in her freshman year

after that she sort of just accepted it, she had no concern of her dad bc obviously he would be so accepting and supportive, but a few of her relatives def had an issue with it right off the bat (old money, old values)

she's been friends with manny, nora, owen, and mel since middle school, and the only one whose view of her seemed to change was owen (and mel too ig bc she stopped seeing abby as such a threat)

he drunkenly questioned her about it once, saying something super gross and along the lines of "you didn't seem gay when we were together"

to which she responded by offering him two choices; he could sit down and shut up or she would knock him tf out

he's cooled it since then but everyone knows that he still has a big fat crush on her so he still wants to believe he has a chance (even tho he was literally already talking to mel before they broke up and announced they were together only a few days after)

she's pre-med, majoring in bio and minoring in something totally different like classical lit or history or something

she's gonna end up being an orthopedic surgeon but later on in her career i can see her turning to teaching at a university or something

like doctor!abby turned prof!abby???? omg

is very health conscious

she's a gym rat, this we already know

she also takes her diet very seriously as well, but always has a secret stash of junk for when she really needs it

also careful with her alcohol/drug intake

she drinks on occasion (birthday, christmas, new years, etc, etc) but usually not very much (will almost always be sober enough to be the sober driver if need be)

she refuses to do any drugs during lacrosse season. she's so strict with her diet during the season that she won't ingest anything other than quality, nutritious food. she also needs to submit a drug test a few times per season so she doesn't wanna risk it.

in the off season, she's more willing to have a puff or two at a party or take an edible before a movie night or something (i don't see her doing any drug other than weed)

she lived with manny during her freshman and sophomore years

they had a shitty little apartment a few minutes away from campus

it was the only one that manny could afford on a student budget, and he refused abby's offer to get a nicer apartment and let her pay a larger portion of the rent than he did

they still had fun either way

manny loved having another person he could talk about girls with (he was initially gonna move in with owen but then he got ditched for mel)

every sunday morning they would get takeout for breakfast so manny could recount his night with the girl that had snuck out only a few hours earlier

she was a little hesitant to join in and share her own stories, but she finally got more comfortable in talking to him about it (RESPECTFULLY!!!!!!! she was so scared that she was gonna end up sounding like a literally disgusting pig but she keeps the details to a minimum and only says nice things unless the girl was a major bitch)

she's a lululemon/gymshark girly. her go-to style is definitely any variation of athlesiure. she wears lots of joggers, dry-fit tops, and the cleanest pair of white sneakers you'll ever see

underneath, i'm picturing her as more of a bralette type of girl. obviously she wears a sports bra to the gym, but on a regular basis, she likes wearing bralettes over bras bc she doesn't need that much support so they offer just enough without the discomfort of a bra

i'm settling the debate rn everyone, college!abby wears boxers AND panties

she finds boxers more comfortable on a day to day basis, but she likes wearing cheekies and thongs especially when she's wearing leggings

so dorky

she was definitely a sci-fi/fantasy kid

she grew up on harry potter, lord of the rings, star wars, etc etc

would love a partner who would watch them with her and actually enjoy it

unironically makes gym thirst traps on tiktok

her followers always comment supportive things like: looking good!, major gainssss, muscle mommy come destroy this pu-

still wears the iconic braid, but usually only when she's on the field. she occasionally wears her hair down, but i hc that she still likes to wear her hair pulled back in a cute little braided ponytail or a messy low bun

when she's older SHE CUTS HER HAIR OMG OMG OMG like literally i'm purring rn

like ik you've all seen that edit of her with super short hair omg she's so hot

in her junior year she decided to live on her own

manny moved in with jordan, who had been begging him for a while since the rent was more than he could handle on his own, though manny's rent would actually be cheaper than it was in his apartment with abby

they still do their traditions tho, still having sunday breakfast, still going to the campus pub on fridays for trivia, still going to the gym together on wednesdays...

they're actually besties i love them

when she's on her period, she craves salty foods

is so frustratingly confident in her emotions

will always try to diffuse the situation and pissing the other person off with her calmness

takes really good care of her skin

her favourite drink is diet cranberry gingerale

she's a dog person, but she would definitely enjoy having a cat around too

adopts a rescue dog a few weeks after finishing her residency

uses old spice fiji body wash and deodorant (SHE SMELLS SO FUCKING GOOD) and a musky vanilla body spray

likes to feel and be clean, but isn't too fussed about her body hair so long as it looks tidy. she isn't anti shaving, and will probably make an effort to shave more regularly in the early stages of a relationship until she's more confident and comfortable around the person

NSFW

down-there hair? duh

like i said, she likes to keep things tidy so she'll trim and maybe shave her bikini line if she's feeling it but that's it. she's not fussed with body hair, whether it's her or her partner's

again, she'll make an effort to keep herself looking neat and tidy for the first bit of a relationship but after a few weeks she's not afraid to go full-bush when she doesn't wanna shave

she doesn't love penetration. fingers are one thing, but she has only had not-so-great experiences with sex that involved a penis-like object. she'd wanna be the one wearing the strap for the most part, but she'd be willing to try it again with the right person

slow and passionate sex >>>>>

considers herself to be very vanilla but she's actually kinda kinkyyyyy (she gets so embarrassed and blushy when anyone calls her out for it)

she prefers scissoring to using her strap (but she LOVES her strap)

she doesn't like to choke her partners, but she will reach her hand up and just hold their throat while they're fucking

she's always so sensitive

came in like thirty seconds during her first time with another girl

she's noiiiiisssyyyyyyyy

she usually starts out with just heavy panting breaths, then they turn into deep grunts, then she begins to whine from low in her throat, and finally she begins to gasp out words of praise or curses

she squirts teehee

like i said she's always so sensitive, so if she's any ways worked up when someone's going down on her they better watch out bc they're in the splash zone

her strap is purple and sparkly

abby anderson eats ass

her nipples are super sensitive too

not really nsfw but she really loves casual nudity with her partners, changing in front of each other, hopping in the shower together, using the bathroom with the other person in the room...

she's a boob girl. doesn't matter if they're big, small, saggy, or perky, she just wants to suck them

when she's on top, she likes to pull her partner's leg over her shoulder and will just start like trailing kisses along the length of their calf

she's a literal munch

will use it to her advantage too

tells her partner she'll go down on them if they finish their assignments

[landinrris]

do you have any carlando fic recs?

Do I have carlando fic recs? always. There's a somewhat recency bias to the individual recs, so if you're wanting a more comprehensive look, I would definitely utilize the resources above this "read more." But also the individual fics are 🥰

First off, I'm gonna humbly present my catalog 😅

I also have some authors (in no particular order) that I would recommend anything Carlando-related they've written: -Phebes (@phebess) -Pitmewithyourbeststop -Magnificentbirb (@magnificentbirb) -Charleslelurk (@charleslelurk) -Madlyiephasetwo -Tiredtiredsharl (@wolfiemcwolferson)

My general fic rec tag is a great place when I come across tumblr links/snippets (also contains other rec lists: x, xx)

My public bookmarks on Ao3 is also a good indication of my fave fics (because some things are between me and god)

I'll shove some individual fics (in no particular order) below the read more so I don't clog people's dashes

Someone Who Can Stand in Your Storm by The_in_between_honey (@the-in-between-honey) (Rating: M)

Like most drivers, Lando has always worn scent blockers - like, always. He’s not ashamed of being an omega, it's just not anyone else's business. Besides, who wants to get into the politics of alphas vs omegas vs betas in F1? He doesn't buy into any of that, just like he doesn't buy into the idea of a "soulmate." No one asks, and he doesn’t tell anyone. Not even Carlos.

I never knew I was looking for all of my tomorrows by Anonymous (Rating: E)

They’d joked about it sometimes, what it would be like if one of them were a girl, if they would cross that line they already tiptoed around. “Would you break up with your girlfriend for me?” Lando teased once, pushing it ever closer to the edge they teetered on. “Lando,” Carlos had said in that warning voice of his, but he hadn’t said no, and now there’s no girlfriend either…

Across The Never by ShankySpork (Rating: M *Rated with MCD but not permanent)

Benny Goodman once wrote a song, ‘Where Or When’. It goes as follows; “It seems we stood and talked like this, before//We looked at each other in the same way then, But I can’t remember where, or when//The cloths you are wearing, are the cloths you wore//The smile you are smiling, you were smiling then//But I can’t remember where, Or when//Some things that happened for the first time//Seem to be happening again//And so it seems//That we’ve met before//And laughed before//And loved before//But who knows//Where or When” And truly, nothing could summarize this story better.

you lit a fire (and left no mark) by slapshot (Rating: E)

Lando doesn’t really drink or do drugs. So when he collects his things and dresses himself and leaves the room, fighting back tears and muffling his sobs behind his hands, Lando remembers everything. ~*~ the carlando accompaniment to salad days.

Count-Back by nottonyharrison (Rating: E)

Lando’s career progression up to the age of nineteen can be summarised by one word: Hustle. Lando learned the fine art early on in her racing career. It’s not always been successful, sometimes it’s blown up in her face, and sometimes her smart mouth gets her in trouble. But, on balance, things have worked out pretty damn well. The one fly in the ointment now though, is her teammate. Carlos Sainz is a whole lot of things Lando’s not. He’s confident in an old-money, sophisticated sort of way. He’s intelligent and well spoken. He’s goddamn gorgeous. Most annoyingly, he’s better than she is.

i’ll race you for pinks by cazio (@chubbydino) (Rating: M)

Heist!AU. Carlos Sainz Jr. is heading a heist operation based out of New York, following his father’s footsteps as a criminal mastermind. Max Verstappen, the most feared mercenary in the business, is his second in command. Daniel Ricciardo is the deadly charmer that gets them whatever they need, from whoever they need it from. Lando Norris is the mystery. Carlos has never met him in person, but he knows Lando will be perfect for the job. But Lando is not exactly what Carlos envisioned a computer nerd to be. In fact, he is very, very hot.

 fall and fixture by heroics (@restacks) (Rating: E)

Lando’s already had a very poor time of it this morning. First there was no real milk in the break room refrigerator, so he had to put almond milk in his tea, disgusting. Then he caused a panic in the explosives lab by knocking over someone’s project. Now he’s faced with Carlos Sainz Jr., Foreign Operative #055.

If the Love is Pure by loveleclerc (@holacarlando) (Rating: E)

After being attacked in the middle of the night by an unknown Alpha, Lando flees to Spain for protection from the Sainz Pack while his fathers search for a way to keep him safe in England. He never asked to be a male Omega, a designation rare beyond belief and sought after by Alphas around the world, but fleeing into the care of Carlos Sainz Jr. may just be the solution to all of his fears… and dreams.

and all of my wildest dreams (they just end up with you and me) by choripan (@7msc) (Rating: E)

“What time did you go to sleep last night, cabrón?” The 7AM light hitting Carlos made his Disney Prince dark hair look like a halo, his features softer in the morning. He was frowning a little bit, but in a way that made him look worried instead of angry. “Uhhhhhhhh…” “Landooooooo…” OR: the one where Lando is slowly girlrotting away and Carlos just wants to help.

i love you forever, not maybe (you’re my one true love) by mtchmrnr (Rated: E) 

Lando is starting to suspect that off-camera, he’s quite the soft and gentle guy. What did he say once in an interview? He protects love? I’d love to be protected, Lando thinks. or: the one where Lando is a student, Carlos is a F1 driver, and they go through a lot before they get their happy ending

[abstractnaturaldisaster]

is it over now? (was it over then?)

part seven

part eight: i think about jumping off of very tall somethings

Eddie was fully convinced he had lost whatever remaining dignity he might have had when his friends had found him sunken into his beanbag chair with random detritus strewn around the room. He really thought he could not feel any lower than when Ronnie made it more obvious than necessary that she was picking her way through Eddie's junk to stick a hand into his nest and pull him out by his collar. He thought that was rock bottom, but being early for coffee with Robin and Nancy and having to wait with a cooling americano he spent way too much money on really gave that whole experience a run for its money.

Ronnie had suggested dming Robin and Nancy and testing the waters to see if they would be willing to broker some sort of reunion with Steve. Eddie stared at her like she had suggested he deliver the one ring to mordor alone; however, she obviously had a point since the newly announced couple suggested meeting up.

"Hey! Eddie! Sorry we're late!" Robin caught Eddie's attention as Nancy went to order.

"Oh, uh, no worries," Eddie fumbled, "I'm just happy you're here at all honest."

"I mean, Nance said it's only fair to hear you out but you were fucking brutal to my best friend, dude, so like the window to give you some grace is pretty fucking small," Robin answered.

"No, yeah totally understood. How do you want to do this?" Eddie asked.

"Why don't you just explain what happened from your side of things. From our angle, you look like kind of a douche but also I feel like maybe Steve didn't handle things great either? I dunno. I mean, you made him really happy, if we have a chance to fix that, I think I owe it to Steve, right?" Robin answered.

"Sure, yeah, no that makes sense," Eddie started as Nancy sat down with her and Robin's drinks.

"Keep going, Eddie, this is mostly Robin's thing anyway," Nancy prompted. She did not look quite as open to fixing things as Robin did and Eddie felt a little more nervous after he let himself relax in Robin's easy presence.

"For sure, so like obviously you know all of the like tabloid bullshit about Steve and whatever and like I kind of got it and understood but then without any warning I show up and Steve's like gorgeous and super successful ex was just on his couch and Steve isn't willing to explain? I mean that was pretty fucking hard to swallow," Eddie finished a little less certain of where he stood with Robin as she narrowed her eyes over her tea.

"So instead of trusting Steve and listening to him when he told you how much the tabloids have lied about him throughout his career you let the fact that I was present in his home be enough to trump years of what you all had built?" Nancy questioned. Eddie could see her journalism chops coming out.

"That's fair. I mean, I definitely acted without a lot of thought but like, why wouldn't you have looped me in? Did you guys not trust me?" Eddie asked still trying to figure out why he was left flat footed all those weeks ago.

"I think that might be on me," Robin piped up, "I was pretty nervous about coming out and I think Steve was being super protective and didn't want to ask me to come out to more people than I was wanting to. It's not that he didn't trust you, Eddie, it's that we had some pretty shitty years with different agents trying to push me in different directions and I think he just was sick of feeling like outside forces were making me move quicker than I was ready to. And it's not like you made it easy on him to reach out to you after. How was he supposed to respond when you blocked him on literally every platform?"

"I guess I didn't think he would want to explain or he'd try to like explain everything away even though it had seemed obvious at the time he was cheating on me," Eddie paused when both Robin and Nancy threw death glares across the table, "Jeez, I know now that was stupid but at the time it was the only rational I could see."

"I guess we should stop interrogating you, you do seem pretty serious, otherwise I don't think you would have agreed to meet both of us," Nancy jumped in.

"I really regret cutting him off like I did. I know I got way too in my head about everything immediately and just didn't give it time or let him respond," Eddie tried to sound as apologetic as he felt.

"We believe you, you two are both dinguses," Robin cut in, "more importantly, what are we going to do about that fucking song and how the hell do you propose apologizing for all the shit you stirred?"

"I thought we were done with the interrogation," Eddie held his hands up.

"Only about whether or not you're genuine, you still have to figure out how you are putting my bestie back together," Robin answered.

"So about that. I have a couple ideas. One, I feel like a song got us into this mess and my label wants more music anyways so I am kind of thinking of an apology song. The rest of my band has actually started workshopping some stuff with me to try to put it together as soon as we can. I'm kind of hoping to release it before Steve gets back so we are a bit under the clock," Eddie began, "And second, that's where I was kind of hoping you guys could help. I don't want to like ambush the guy but I also don't know if Steve will be interested in meeting with me or like ready to start dating again. I was kind of hoping I could crash one of your movie nights? Maybe once Steve gets settled a bit more?"

"Steve is not the best with surprises," Robin thought aloud, "but that's not a no, it's a convince me."

"I just figure he'll be in his space and relaxed and he also fully has an out to have you kick me out if he isn't interested. If he is, I was kind of hoping you too would be willing to make yourselves scarce?" Eddie hoped that was enough.

Surprisingly, Nancy was the one to answer.

"I think we have a deal, Munson," Nancy stuck her hand out for Eddie to shake.

Eddie left the cafe feeling more hopeful than he had in some time.

part nine

@lololol-1234 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @zombiethingy @grtwdsmwhr @dreamercec @anne-bennett-cosplayer @strawberryyyenthusiast

@mensch-anthropos-human @kal-ology @ttyrussss @kristmkris @starman-jpg @wonderland-girl143-blog @child-of-cthulhu @legalmenace87 @adealwithher @practicallybegging @lunaraquaenby @stripey82

@lexyvey @goodolefashionedloverboi @mothmamhasyourlocation @mugloversonly @sherrylyn0628 @steddieinthesun @wonderland-girl143-blog @counting-dollars-counting-stars @bookworm0690

(if you wanna be tagged in future parts feel free to comment! happy to add people)

[panlight]

hi! i love reading the discussions you have about twilight. i was wondering, what do you think Bella’s career would be if she cared enough to have one? ik Stephanie said teacher, but that seems really ooc for Bella tbh. can’t see her wanting to be a housewife for long either, especially when recipe grows up and leaves. i could see her as a writer maybe, though im not sure about the type of books she’d write (vampire romance ?? 😭). also maybe something with book stores or libraries. teaching seems like an extroverted job, and she’s the opposite of that.

You're right that SM said that Bella had planned to become a teacher. She said that her mother's career was the one thing Bella admired about Renee, but that Bella wanted to teach older kids, so like high school. But I agree with you that doesn't really seem like a Bella thing to do. Bella doesn't even like high school students while she IS one herself, I don't see her enjoying that kind of work at all.

Although to be fair I know lots of people who sort of had a vague idea about "becoming a teacher" because they didn't know what else to do with their area of interest (in this case, Bella's love of reading) but then when they took their first education classes in college they were like "yikes, nope, not for me." So this might have happened to Bella eventually.

I definitely feel like the bookstore idea is more her speed. She's actually pretty organized and practical so I think she could run a small business no problem, and she does seem to take some pleasure in keeping things running even though she shouldn't have had to do so on behalf of her parents. It would probably be more fun and rewarding for her when it's a choice. Could totally see her dabbling in writing on the side but feeling like "oh it's not any good" given her self-esteem issues, but eventually a friend (Jacob? Angela? maybe even Mike or Jess but I don't feel like she'd trust them enough to show them her writing) would encourage her to try and publish.

Now if this is all happening in a world where she did marry Edward and become a vampire, then the Cullen money would make this bookstore thing super easy, barely an inconvenience. Edward would just buy the cutest bookstore and have Bella take over, but it would feel kind of hollow, like she's just "playing bookstore" because she didn't have to try. And of course Edward would get her books published under a fake name and . . . you know, maybe that's how Twilight exists in the first place.

Libraries are also a good option! I am myself a librarian so I speak with some authority on this, haha. I think Bella would do great with some of the behind-the-scenes work like cataloging (which was my previous job) or collection development (Selecting and Buying the stuff, which is my current job) or maybe even shelving books, but she'd HATE the more customer-facing stuff like programming, circulation, reference. At my library even those of us with behind-the-scenes jobs do have some time on the service desks helping patrons, and as an introvert it's not my favorite but most library jobs start there. Almost everyone I know got their foot in the door of the library with some part time circulation desk job and then worked up to something better and I don't know if Bella makes it past that hurdle. The library is about being there for the community and meeting THEIR needs; a bookstore she could set up to her own tastes.

[skreebat]

*kicks open your door* I AM HERE FOR THE HUMAN AU!! I have actually been thinking of a human au for like a week now so this is just perfect!! Do you have the OUAW party working at their carnival or are they all kind of doing there own careers? Also ALSO how did Kremy and Gideon meet?? I kind of like going the GTA (grand theft auto video game) route where Kremy is mixed up with Garou in legit crimes just in our world and not Avantris fantasy style setting.

I really haven't thought too much about it yet but it's so hard to let go of all the fantastical and magical aspects for a human AU. I really like those! Maybe it wouldn't be all like DnD world but... I think they'd be working at a Carnival. Likely much like the initial plot of OUAW, that having gone badly and them being all flat broke and two to the four (five with Hootsie) at the beginning, meeting Torbek later and so on.

I have to think about how to adapt someone like Frost into it, but I think the easiest to go with is Gricko travelling about with his daughter and taking odd jobs.

Kremy most definitely got mixed up with someone very powerful and very dangerous when he was younger, trying to get to better places in life, and cheated his way on up and on his own, but used Garou's name for a lot of it, and now owns a lot of money.

Gid...I feel like Gid's story would be Very Dark much like the original one and he's definitely broken out of some sort of prison or hold or captivity of some kind before he met Kremy. Likely on a night Kremy was drowning his sorrows when another business went to shit before he cashed out. Maybe this big fella just ended up in the same quiet, dingy bar, and Kremy threw caution to the wind and paid for his drink. Because, why not, right? Guy looks like he's had a rough, well, life. Screw it, he's feeling generous.

Likely parted ways that night - or well into the morning, drunkenly walking out in the painful sunlight - and maybe just bumped into each other a few more times before actual drink meet ups became a thing. Real conversations became a thing. Exchanging stories. Then it likely really started a proper business partnership when Kremy had some crazy idea and offered to have Gid help, for part of the profit.

And it developed into Kremy helping this poor fucker getting back on his feet. Or huh - on his feet for the first time, really. Before they knew it, scams were abound, and a lot more fun than they used to be.

[lurkingshan]

Goodbye Cooking Crush

Aw man, I am so sad this wonderful little show is over. It delivered everything I needed and held up all the way through its run. Everything came together in this finale for some great final payoffs, and the characters stayed true. When we were watching the finale I said to @neuroticbookworm and @twig-tea that this show is writing porn, because all of the narrative threads build and converge in such a satisfying way. I posted a couple weeks ago that this show is exactly what you want from a good romcom, and I stand by it. Great outing for OffGun and a very rewarding show that I will surely be rewatching many times.

As expected, this week delivered a solid, nuanced ending for Ten's family conflict. I loved the way Ten sat Prem down at the family table, took the chair opposite his father at the other end of the table in a clear power move, and told him in no uncertain terms that Prem was his boyfriend and he had to accept it. And his dad did not have a sudden personality transplant; he pushed back and challenged Prem to prove his integrity. It made sense to me that Prem wanted to pay that money back; the money scam from the beginning of their relationship has been weighing on him the whole time, and he doesn't want any shred of doubt lingering over his relationship with his in-laws. My favorite part of that whole sequence was Prem's grandma finally finding out about the money and getting out her switch; this was never Prem's burden to bear alone and I'm glad he learned his lesson about not asking for help.

So Ten's dad was forced to accept Prem when he came through on his promise, and he even offered a classic Asian parent version of an apology by coming to Prem's restaurant to acknowledge him, which is more than I expected from him. My favorite thing about that final scene at the restaurant is that Ten's dad hasn't really changed and he and Ten are not suddenly getting along; their conversation was still adversarial even as he finally explained a couple things, and in the end he was left to eat at the table alone. No unearned parental 180 here. They are not suddenly a big happy family, but they've settled on a detente everyone can live with. It feels right.

And in another family drama, Fire finally found the courage to tell his mother how much she has hurt him, and after an initial rejection, she realized she didn't want to lose Fire and offered him acceptance. I would have liked a bit more breathing room in this plot because her turn felt a little too easy, but it's a side story so I get that they were time constrained. It was nice to see Fire finally stand up for her, and Dynamite begrudgingly accepted into the family. I liked that Dy's family didn't magically appear; not all families will accept their queer children, and that is the reality he has to live with. But it must have felt somewhat healing to see that happen for Fire and know he was a big part of giving Fire the courage to finally come out.

Meanwhile, the Three Must-Eat-Ers lost the cooking competition but won the hearts of many with the touching story of their final dish, and built careers bolstered by their show fandom. I was so pleased to get the flash forward to show us that Prem did get to open his chef's table restaurant, with Ten's full support (and with rings of some sort on, not sure if they're engaged or married but they are definitely committed). It was the very sweet cherry on top of the ice cream sundae of their romance. Ten and Prem, Communication Kings, are going down as one of my all-time favorite bl couples.

I am agnostic on the final Samsee/Pang reveal, given my hopes for a Samsee/Metha pairing. I'm not mad at the show for not going there--it would definitely have been pairing the spares to put Samsee and Metha together, which I generally do not go in for--and am mostly happy that Samsee found love and Metha is still part of the gang. I would have also loved to see those bullies get some comeuppance, but honestly, bullies often win, and it didn't feel like a true loss for our boys so I'm good with it. This was a solid finale for a feel good show and I will miss it dearly.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Promises To Keep

A/N: Day 4 of valentines week!

Warnings: none

***

“I- umm,” Jo’s voice quivered. “I’m p-pregnant?”

Matty looked down at the 4 pregnancy tests, all clearly indicating, either in “+” or lines, or big bold letters “PREGNANT.” He grabbed one of the opened boxed, scanning over the fine print. “Mhm. Y-you’re definitely pregnant. It would seem.”

He looked up at her from the bathroom floor, as she sat, wide-eyed on the side of the bathtub, staring down at the mess of tests at her feet. Matty was, of course, overjoyed. This was the best news of his entire life. He’s always wanted to be a father. And the fact that it had happened without them planning it or trying? He’s not one for religion but he was certain that’s what he would call a blessing, if ever such a thing existed. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops. until he could determine Jo’s feelings on the matter, though, he was trying to remain calm. And it was killing him. He wanted to hoist her into his arms and hold her tight. He wanted to kiss her from head to toes. He wants to cry. But he had to stay focused and supportive.

“I- am gonna be a mom? Like- a mother?”

“Mhm.”

“L-life is…g-growing? Inside me? I- have a womb and shit?”

Matty frowned. “Pretty sure you’ve always had a womb- that’s not the point,okay.” He corrected himself. “Well, erm….life doesn’t begin at conception, Jo.”

Her eyes met his for the first time since the tests turned positive. “Right.” She mumbled. “It’s not a baby. It’s just cells.”

Matty’s heart sank. But he couldn’t argue with facts. “Just cells.” He echoed.

Jo’s hand absently moved to rest on her nonexistent bump. Matty’s hand itched to rest atop hers, but he held back. He watched her look into the distance as she pictured her future. 9 months from today. A child changes everything. Her life. Her body. Her career. Not to mention, her relationship. She was under no illusions when it came to parenthood. She’d watched enough of her friends go through the process to know about the sleepless nights, and the breastfeeding problems and the ever-present smell of poopy diapers in the house no matter how much cleaning one does. She was young. Her career had just taken off. She has just started to get a sense of who he is as an adult….and yet….

The notion of having a baby, one that is half her and half Matty, felt bigger, better, more right than anything else that she had planned or foreseen for herself in the future. The idea that the two of them could love each other so much to the point of making a whole third person out of this love was the perfect next step for their relationship.

Tears stung the backs of her eyes; a smile danced on her lips. “Well, we’ve both always said we want to be parents…”

Matty’s eyes lit up at her words. “Yes! We have!” He said, half standing up.

“I mean- nobody’s getting any younger- I make good money-“

“I’m rich, Jo. In case you haven’t-“

“And I work in design I can do that from anywhere-“

“I don’t have to work at all!” Matty yelled out, as if announcing the fact to a room full of people.

“You, do, in fact, have to work. You leave for tour tonight.”

Matty got up to sit beside her on the edge of the bathtub. “Right. If this child decides to ignore school and start a band….they’re going to live in our house for a long time. We’ll need a bigger house.”

Jo giggled at the image that his words had painted.

“Speaking of house….i can’t go tonight. You’re pregnant.”

“Don’t be stupid! You can go. You have to go.”

“And leave my pregnant- not wife.” He chuckled. “Funny, I- always thought: rock band, husband, then kids. Guess not everything happens in the order you want it to happen.”

Jo nodded. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I…always thought I’d feel like an adult by the time that I got pregnant. You know, sort of in the way that moms do?”

“Mhm.”

“Moms always….know everything. Like what to wear to things and what to do if a scab won’t heal, and how to make the perfect roast potatoes.”

“Roast potatoes?” Matty frowned. “You make a good roast, Jo-“

“Yeah but I can never get them quite right. You know, crispy and golden on the outside but tender and fluffy on the inside?”

He nodded along, recognizing what she meant, “sure. Yeah.”

“Our child is gonna grow up eating subpar potatoes, Matty.”

Matty held his head in his hands, letting her words fly by. Their child was going to be subjected to a lifetime of imperfect potatoes. A lifetime. With a child. They’re having a child. He’s gonna be a dad! He’s having Jo’s baby!

“Hey, Jo?” He called out, his voice echoing through the porcelain tub.

“Yes, Matty?”

He picked his head up and looked at her, flashing her a huge, shimmering grin. “We’re having a baby!”

The joy that lit up his eyes was impossible to ignore. Jo’s smile softened. “We’re having a baby….”

***

“I don’t know….should we?”

Jo overheard Matty ask as he paced his home studio with the door only halfway closed.

“I reckon we could postpone at least….”

She peered in. He was on FaceTime with George.

“Maybe we discuss this with….everyone, including Jamie, in the room. That way we’ll have a better idea.” George suggested. “Do they all know already?”

“Ross does. Hann didn’t answer so I left him a vague and cryptic message.” Matty paused the back and forth, finally settling in his desk chair. “Fuck! I’ve got to call mom! And dad!”

Those words were Jo’s last straw. She rushed into the room, snatching the phone out of his hand. “You will do no such thing!” She looked down at George through the screen. “Hey, George.”

“Hey, mate. Congrats on the baby!”

She was surprised by the new rush of excitement that hearing his congratulations had brought her. It was the first outside acknowledge of her motherhood. “Thank you!” She squealed, then, glancing at Matty, recalled the reason she’d barreled in here. “We’re not telling your parents. I can’t fuckin believe you’ve told the boys already!” She sighed. “Sorry, George.”

“No worries. I kinda can’t believe it either, if I’m honest.”

Matty frowned, leaning forward “why not?!”

“You’re meant to wait! Until after the first trimester!”

“Yeah, I know that, but why?”

Jo had began to speak, but George unknowingly cut her off

“Well- it’s usually when the risk of miscarriage is lower stuff…” he said matter-of-factly, recovering a weird look from Matty through the camera. “What? We went over this with Adam and Carly. Don’t you remember? You never pay attention to anything….”

Jo smiled, sitting in Matty’s lap so that they’re both in the FaceTime camera frame. “Sorry to interrupt your call but I think Matty and I need to have a little chat before….whatever this is goes any further.”

George nodded. “Understood. Hey, Matty, listen….in terms of the band stuff…whatever you decide to do is fine, honestly. Just let us know what you need. If you don’t wanna tour, we’ll sort it out.” Matty nodded, and waved goodbye, a silent cue that he was hanging up.

“What’s this I hear about you not wanting to tour?” Joe spoke as soon as she was certain that Matty had put his phone away.

“Jo, you’re pregnant!”

“I’m aware.”

Matty rolled his eyes. “I can’t just- get on a plane and fuck off to another country. New city every other day. No idea when I’ll be home again.”

He watched her face scrunch into a puzzled expression.

“Why not?”

His jaw dropped, shaking his head in disbelief. “Im not gonna miss all the doctors appointments and the- morning sickness and the- everything!

Jo was touched by his determination, not that she ever doubted that he would be anything less than all in. Still; seeing it written all over his face was overwhelming. “Matty-“

“No! He stomped his foot as he spoke. “I’m going to be a dad, now. I’ve got to- to rearrange my priorities. I’m not going to just leave you. No way. Alright?”

“Honey, don’t you think it’s a bit too early to be make decisions like this?” Her eyes looked into his, so Matty didn’t notice when she reached for his hand, he flinched, initially, relaxing to her touch slowly.

He took a deep breath, attempting to slow down his racing heart. “I- I would just- like to know what my options are. If…canceling tour is possible, or if, pushing it back a few weeks might be an alternative. I think….the sooner that I have all the information, the better for baby.”

“For- b-baby?” Jo’s lips involuntarily curled into a smile as she repeated his words.

“Mhm. Baby. As in….our child. Sophia if it’s a girl. Aiden if it’s a boy.”

Jo chuckled, heartily. “Sophia? Aiden? What the fuck, Matty?! We’ve only known about… ‘baby’ for like a few hours. You’ve already named it?”

“Jo, I’ve been naming our children since our first date.”

She rolled her eyes. “That kind of talk doesn’t work on me. I know all of your tricks.”

“And I still knocked you up! Ha! I win!”

Jo ran her hand through his hair. “Seriously, though, Matty. We are not naming our child ‘Aiden.’”

He looked at her with big sad eyes, “No Aiden? You don’t like it?”

“I hate it.”

Matty ducked his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “Fine. His name isn’t Aiden. No weird, artsy French names, though, okay?”

“Really?” She pouted, “but I’ve always dreamed of naming my baby boy Jacques.”

“No, you haven’t” Matty saw through her lie instantly.

She laughed, silently, her body shaking with his arms wrapped around her.

“See, Jo? I know all of your tricks, too.”

***

Jo’s arm felt around in the dark attempting to wrap her arms around her sleeping boyfriend. Instead, she was met with the cold bedding where Matty normally slept.

Half asleep, she turned the bedside light on and saw that matty wasn’t in bed.

Instead, she found him downstairs, in the middle of the hallway, standing on top of a ladder, with a screwdriver in his hand.

“Jesus fuckin Christ, Matty, it’s 2 in the morning!” Her eyes squinted, adjusting to the light.

“Oh” he spared her a quick glance, “hey, Jo.”

“‘Hey, Jo’ ? Really? Matty what on earth are you doing up there!”

“Smoke detectors.” He mumbled “first step of baby-proofing is smoke and carbon monoxide detectors.”

Jo exhaled, it was too late into the night for this conversation and she was tired. “And you’re…doing what exactly?”

“Checking to see if we have that.”

“Matty, this house is worth millions of dollars, I’m sure it’s got the right kind of smoke detectors.”

Matty shrugged, screwing the tip of the screwdriver into the nail. “I don’t know that for certain. I never thought about a child living here when I signed the stuff that got installed in here. I’m sure I thought ‘I’m never in here long enough to be poisoned by carbon monoxide anyway.’ So….”

“My love? Listen-“

“Think I’m gonna have to cancel tour.” He announced. “Postponing my flight isn’t enough. There’s no way I’m going to be finished baby-proofing before rehearasals week is over.”

Jo grabbed a hold of Matty’s leg, tugging on his joggers. “Matty- that’s it - that’s enough. Get down here. You’ve gone over to the crazy side. I need you to step down from there and come talk to me. Please.”

***

Jo brought over two mugs of chamomile tea, handling one to Matty before taking a seat next to him. “Drink it. It’ll help.”

“Thanks, darlin.” He kissed her.

She watched him blow on his drink for a moment, and take his first sip. “Matty, what’s going on with you? Why aren’t we both in bed right now?”

He looked down at his reflection in the tea, avoiding her eyes. “Just couldn’t sleep. So I figured I’d get started on some things. It’s a big deal, Jo.”

“Matty, you don’t have to do it all overnight, you get that, right? The baby isn’t even a baby right now. It’s a tiny cluster of cells! It takes 9 months for it to grow.”

“And I’d be gone for 9 months!” Matty raised his voice for the first time since Jo has met him. “Tour is 18 months at a time. So that’s enough time for a while fuckin human being to be made, and to almost turn a year old! If I can’t leave you knowing that you’re safe and prepared, then im not fuckin leaving! It’s not that hard to understand.”

She set her beverage down, placing her hands on his shoulders instead.

“You know I called some accountants today?”

“Oh?”

“To see about….a will.”

“Jesus fuckin- that’s morbid, Matty!”

“What? I’m just….being practical. If anything should happen to me. I- I want my kid — and you— to be all sorted….anyway, they- they said things would be a lot easier if we had a marriage certificate or whatever.”

Jo withdrew her hands, frowning. “I swear to god, Matthew, if this is your way or fuckin proposing-“

Matty giggled. “No, no! Cmon! I’m insane but I’m not THAT insane. I wouldn’t just…do it like that. I’m just saying….i do wish that our child could’ve been born into a marriage. You know?”

“Why does it matter?”

“It- doesn’t. Not really. Just- would feel more certain.”

She smiled, finally understanding. “I forget that you’re actually a tightly wound ball of anxiety sometimes.”

Matty chuckled.

“Very well, then. Let’s do it.”

“Do what?” He turned around to look at her.

“Get married. Right now. Let’s do it.”

“Right now? Jo- it’s the middle of the night, darling.”

“I know.” She rolled her eyes. “But we can still do it. Between us! The paperwork and the marriage liscence and all that is just legal bureaucracy. You’re rich. Your parents are rich. Baby will be fine with that stuff. So, that stuff aside….what is marriage if not a set of promises that we promise to keep together?”

Matty’s lips parted, but he had nothing to say. He remained speechless, eyes glued to her face.

“So, let’s make each other promises right now. You and me….and the baby. Let’s get married.”

“R-really?”

Jo giggled. “Yeah, if…if saying a promise will make it feel more certain, more forever….if it’ll get you to shut up and go to bed, then why not?”

Matty smiled, wide. “Okay, let’s fuckin do it! Baby and wedding in one day. I’m really doing it all, huh?”

***

She held his hands in hers, their fingers intertwined. “Who’s gonna go first?” She asked.

“Oh! I’ve got one!” Matty said, “I- promise….to learn how to check smoke detectors cuz….if I’m being honest I…had no idea what I was doing up there. I was just gonna crack it open and see if there was a YouTube tutorial that would explain it to me.”

Jo laughed, dramatically. Her head landing in Matty’ lap for a moment.

“Okay….umm…I promise to love you, even when you’re doing insane shit like looking up tutorials of essential safety measures at 3 in the morning.”

Matty brought her hand to his lips, kissing it. “I promise to talk to you first. Before I go off cracking open smoke detectors. I know- I know I tend to- go a bit insane without really saying anything. But we can’t have that. I’ll- be better about it. Promise.”

“I promise to give you grace and be more patient when you inevitably lose it again and start acting like a lunatic. I know you do it out of love. And it’s cute. So, I should just…go easier on you”

“It’s cute, you say?” Matty wriggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, stop that. You’ve already got me pregnant. You know I think you’re cute.”

Matty was surprised to feel himself blush. He laughed, softly, his head thrown back. Then, he straightened his back, looking serious all of the sudden. “I promise to teach our child how to love you right by setting an example for them every single day.”

“I promise to love you second most. Right after our child, of course.”

“I….find that a fair arrangement. May I kiss the bride now?”

Jo beamed at him. “Fuck yeah, you may.”

“I love you, Josephine.”

“I love you, too, Matthew.”

[cottagecoreismysaltlick]

Arlecchino’s story quest just revealed how old Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet are. (Spoiler kinda)

Tl;Dr: late 20s

“I wish Genshin would give us solid numbers for character ages!” Sometimes they do. And those numbers give us ages of other characters too, if you pay attention. And yeah, I know the Genshin community doesn’t like to read, but you don’t even have to do much reading for this.

And let me preface this. When you go through this much work to “justify” characters being adults some people will say it’s just “an excuse to sexualize minors”. No. This isn’t even about that.

This is about me being absolutely sick and tired with the teenagers with careers trope.

First of all, what we know:

Childe is the YOUNGEST of the Fatui Harbingers.

Childe woke up the whale when he was 14 years old, and that was 20 years ago. He is 34 years old.

Arlecchino became the Knave at 17 years old.

The Hearth siblings came to the house within a few months of Arlecchino gaining control.

Lyney and Lynette met a magician named Caesar who over 10 days, helped them hone their stage magic skills

Caesar died 10 years ago.

Toddlers can’t do street magic.

Honestly the last couple of points aren’t even needed, but they’re helpful to solidify this number. You’ll see.

Let’s do some basic Arlecchino math first.

Again, she’s canonically older than 34, but if you want her and the siblings to be as young as absolutely possible, we can start there. (Maybe she’s a few months older than Childe. Idk)

34-17=17

Absolute bare minimum, Arlecchino has been the knave, and the siblings have been in the house for 17 years.

And quite frankly, I don’t think the “kids” were embryos when they joined.

But now that we have a minimum, let’s get a maximum to cover our bases. I’m going to use the serial disappearances as a marker here, because given what we know about her she would definitely look into that sort of thing. So she can’t be much older than 37.

So, when did the siblings join the house?

First of all, let’s get a few facts from earlier involved. Cesar died 10 years ago. That means he died while they had already been in the house for 7-10 years (depending on Arlecchino’s age.)

And a widely overlooked fact that personally I think needs to be taken into account more often, is that TODDLERS CANT DO STREET MAGIC.

But I get it, this is an anime game. And for some crazy reason some fans are convinced that characters should be as young as they can possibly be.

So let’s be just, the most generous that I could possibly be here and say those kids right there are 6 years old (anime 6 year olds don’t act like real 6 year olds so I’ll give you that), and it’s been an EVENTFUL couple of months worth of mastering street magic, trauma, and joining the House of the Hearth.

6+7=13 13+10=23

So the absolute bare minimum you are being silly at this point age for the siblings is 23, and depending on how old you think Arlecchino is, up to 26.

Personally, I feel like Freminet can help us out here, but we’ll have to apply just a teensy tiny bit of real world logic if we want to get anywhere. So,

How old was Freminet when he was sent to the house?

Freminet was very close with his mother, he was incredibly skilled at fixing and building things, to the point where he would help bring in money for the family for a few years before he was dropped off at the house with the old Knave where he’d notice other children with depression who he’d seen kill themselves.

Now I ask you, does that sound like a toddler? If you’re going to look me in my eyes and try saying he was sent to the house at 5 or 6, when the earliest of memories are being DEVELOPED, you’re not just silly, you are high. There’s really only so much disbelief I can suspend here.

Let’s be generous and say he was 8 years old. You can still have your over developed anime 6 year old, but at least it gives a few years for him to have been tinkering and making happy little memories before the trauma.

Again, using the youngest possible Arlecchino age,

8+17=25

So baby brother Freminet is bare minimum 25 years old.

In conclusion, let’s use those concrete numbers here to make an age range for the House of Hearth siblings. (I could absolutely give you my personal head canon timeline, yes. Will I? Maybe if you ask nice. But this is about cold hard numbers)

You’re absolutely fucking kidding yourself here ages: 22 for Freminet and 23 for the twins.

Low end: 25 for Freminet and 26 for the twins.

Reasonable maximum (the oldest I think they could be in the flashback is 13) 32 for Freminet and 33 for the twins!!

[abeautifulblog]

Hi! You said you could help talk me through feudal worldbuilding, and I’d love to pick your brain!

Absolutely! Probably easiest to hit me up over discord (I'm _gremble) and then I would be happy to talk your ear off. 🤣 My wheelhouse is very narrowly focused on mid 9th century England (re: what Anglo Saxon society/military/governance looked like when the vikings rolled up), and iirc, some of the features you mentioned being interested in are more the product of later medieval political structures. I cannot help you with those, but I can probably help with some of the overall mental shifts, because a lot of the things we take for granted in the modern era were just............ not the way things worked back then.

In particular, the word "general" in your initial ask jumped out at me, because it brought up one of the exact issues that I'd run into. The character I was working with had been presented in canon as "the king's top general" -- not those words, but definitely those vibes -- that he was The Guy In Charge Of The Army. Except as soon as I started researching military structures in that period, I found out that that's not how armies worked. When the king needed to go to war, he would call on all his top landholding nobles to round up a bunch of their dudes -- which would be a large number of armed peasants, and a smaller number of fulltime warriors -- and bring their portion of the army to bear.

But these various segments of the army remained under the command of their various lords, marching under separate banners. The lords, in essence, were the generals -- there's not one guy commanding the entire army as a single unit (except for the king, sort of), and there's certainly not any non-noble who doesn't own any dudes getting to call the shots and dictate strategy. Talented and successful warriors might well get rewarded for their service, and given land grants that would generate tons of money for them and put a large number of conscriptable peasants under their control -- and might have the ear of the king if they're known to be good at tactics -- but they don't have authority over anyone else's forces.

The politically neutral, career military guy that we think of when we hear the word "general," who has no independent power of his own but receives a paycheck from his higher-ups to command their men for them, didn't exist yet.

It's a bit of a paradigm shift, because we're used to the military as something separate, that's subordinate to civilian leadership and works in service to it, not for those to be one and the same. We're also used to a norm of strong nation-states with one centralized army, which was very much not the case throughout feudalism/manorialism -- at least in the Anglo Saxon period, power was decentralized and delegated, and being king involved a lot of herding cats wrangling your nobles, not exercising direct control. The king was the guy who could get the most other guys to back him up.

(In the same vein, early kingdoms also tended to be a patchwork of other, smaller kingdoms that retained a great deal of their own autonomy and identity. The modern nation-state that we're so used to, with a single national identity, is an astonishingly recent invention.)

Anyway, hands-down the most useful and eye-opening book I've read on the subject is Clifford J. Rogers' Soldiers Lives Throughout History: The Middle Ages. It's like $80 to buy (😭) but the pdf is on Anna's Archive, and it's invaluable. It is, essentially, a social history of medieval warfare -- most military histories focus on the politics of a particular conflict, or the technology and tactics involved, but this book is all about what life on the ground looked like. A+++ resource for anyone writing war and military logistics in a medieval (or medieval-flavored) setting.

[ursulanoodles]

Random Harvey Headcanons Pt.1

He was bullied as a child-- by his family and kids at school

Started his career in emergency medicine, but lost a patient and switched to the mundanity that is family medicine so he could focus on his hobbies and interests

Has autism (war planes, ham radio, and old medical journals are his special interests, though he hides them and tries to contain himself when someone mentions any of these things in public for fear of being judged).

His parents treated him very poorly and he has a lot of childhood trauma and insecurities because of it. He was made to feel like he was never good enough and they pushed him to do well in school. Burnout definitely contributed to him moving away from home.

When the farmer arrives in Pelican Town, it has been quite some time since he’s had any sort of romantic partner. I would say at least two years.

He’s definitely been dumped for being too nice.

He never touched coffee until his residency, but now he can’t get enough. He got very into different styles of coffee brewing and owns several different coffee makers including cold brew, French press, and pour-over. Despite what some might think, he doesn’t drink his coffee black and takes one cream and one sugar.

Loves a charcuterie board with his glass of wine.

Very tall-- we’re talking between 6′4″-6′6″ and he has to duck through just about everyone’s doorway in Pelican Town or he’ll smack his head.

Smells like cinnamon and warm spices (and coffee-- obviously)

His favorite kind of cookie is oatmeal raisin

Is very loving and protective in a relationship and will do anything for his partner, even if that means inconveniencing himself.

Has virtually no friends, though he does sometimes hang out with Elliott and Leah.

Makes his own pickles and likes them very garlicky.

The kind of guy who brings a book to a bar. He is genuinely not there to socialize, he just wants a glass of wine while he reads and he needed to get out of the house.

Comes from a little bit of money, but he has nothing to do with his family and does not take handouts from them. Despite this, he does have some expensive tastes and enjoys dressing well.

His favorite wine is a red zinfandel or he’ll go with a cabernet sauvignon if that’s not available. He does also enjoy white wine, Riesling being his favorite white.

Shaves with a straight razor

Wears a mustache to hide the fact that he has a baby face (though in my fic I gave him a small scar on his upper lip that he hides haha).

Is meticulous about his personal hygiene and appearance

Absolutely treasures his alone time

Has a temper that he hides very well

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

actually now I’m thinking about it, Shadowheart and Lae’zel have definitely never had their own money before in their lives, right?

Lae’zel is a soldier who was raised in a crèche and would have no need for money. do githyanki even have a currency on the astral plane? all equipment would be provided by her crèche, all meals and clothes and gear. she doesn’t need money. she’s at the beginning of her career anyway, anything she could possibly want will be given to her by her queen when she proves herself worthy.

Shadowheart was raised in the cloister since childhood and has no material possessions other than the gear given to her for the mission. the only reason she’d hold any money is so she can complete a task for her goddess and I’m sure that was strictly regulated and used for that purpose alone. she wouldn’t be allowed any money of her own (and if she hid some away her constant mind wipes would probably mean she’d forget where she’d hidden it). and she’s getting a bad grade in Sharran so I doubt she’d be given any reward even if it was allowed.

so imagine both of their reactions when they realise they have gold. and they can use it to buy things. that they get to keep. Lae’zel getting baby’s first paycheck and immediately being drawn to the biggest sword she can afford and justifying it with the fact that she will cut down more enemies in her queen’s name. Shadowheart staring at a pretty new circlet until someone suggests she buy it and her having the sudden realisation that she can. and then the floodgates are open. these girls are about to have a field day buying all sorts of crap because they’ve gone mad with power over having their own money, like six year olds with pocket money walking into in a sweet shop.

[tommycorriander]

Larry x Kabu (AoKabu, Blueturnipshipping) headcanons/rambles who cheered!!

- the name 'blueturnipshipping' is being coined by me!!! If there is another wildly used name I would like to know, but my reason for choosing that ship name is because when combined, Ao and Kabu translates to 'blue turnip' (at least, when using machine translation. If it translates differently I would like to know!!!!)

- Kabu, especially in his youth, was seen as quite attractive due to his physical fitness and general attitude on the battlefield. Paired with being a celebrity he was likely sought after frequently. He mentions it very rarely in passing but isn't something he likes to bring up, both from general politeness/being humble and also because a good chunk of those pursuing him were parasocial due to his status. It happens a lot less now due to his age, since he doesn't use social media he doesn't see how there are some people online who make negative comments about him being past his prime. Even so he still has that latent feeling of having peaked, stemming from his previous stumbling in his career as a gym leader.

- Larry probably hasn't experienced being desired in the same capacity as Kabu. Being a gym leader and elite four member doesn't get you much prestige in Paldea due to having less money within the League and a lack of celebrity culture in Paldea for the league. The only exceptions to this are people who are famous for things outside of their position as a gym leader, like Iono with her streaming career. As this is something Larry doesn't have, he isn't on nearly as wide a stage. He's also not particularly 'handsome' in the sense that he isn't well built or looks like a model, so while he has had experience dating and being sought after it's generally not very common and definitely became rarer as he got older. Thats partially because of him being extremely busy as well, not just from his age/looks.

- Kabu is extremely outwardly passionate about battling, something that Larry admires and partially envies. Larry also has a passion for it- he wouldn't be a double member of the League otherwise- but due to working two positions and having an office job he's worn thin and has lost that 'spark' that made him really enjoy battling in the first place. Kabu reignites that in him.

- Kabu greatly appreciates Larry's ability to ignore how others think about him. Kabu isn't self conscious per se, but you do end up taking on some level of concern about your appearance/attitude/actions/etc when you're a celebrity and scrutinized 24/7.

- Kabu is canonically from Hoenn and I headcanon Larry as being from Johto due to his Dudunsparce + how heavily based on the Japanese salaryman stereotype he is. Because of this they both bond over a shared appreciation for the similarities in their cuisine (I headcanon that hoenn has a heavier focus on seafood due to having a lot of ocean nearby, and the Kanto/Johto areas are more agriculture focused. However they are both based on Japan so there is overlap)

- Kabu is more prone to grand gestures of love. Think impressive dinners, big bouquets, if he's making you a meal it's going to be a full course meal. That sort of thing. His 'always do your best' attitude carries over into his love life, though he does try to tone it down as Larry can sometimes be overwhelmed by it.

- Larry, conversely, shows his love in smaller ways. He sees something at the store while buying groceries he thinks Kabu would like and gets it, and doesn't really say much about it. Sending texts on his break that are just simple reminders that he loves Kabu. They balance each other out.

- both of them are a little surprised to learn they like each other back. Larry because he views Kabu as completely out of his league, and Kabu because he would have thought his more fiery personality wouldn't have meshed very well with Larry's more muted one. Kabu has had experience in the past with having lovers originally fully enjoy how passionate it is before they got tired of it and found it overbearing; Larry is just always a bit surprised people actually like him outside of him being a generally fine coworker since he's constantly hearing from others that he's boring and not very fun.

N e wayz. I like sharing and I like answering questions!!! So if anyone sees this and is curious about other headcanons of mine for these two (even just individually, not just as a pair) then send me asks!!!! I don't bite :)

[vechter]

hi i was wondering what you'd think tim's ideal career would be? i love imagining he retired after bruce came back from time-travel, and decided to go to college and live his best civilian life... <3 and i like imagining all the batkids end up being tied into medicine/healthcare somehow, so maybe tim would be a biomedical engineer or something, but i really wanna know your ideas! pro photographer? archaeologist like his parents?? nudist camp administrator??? i'll hear u out on anything!!!

ur so sweet anon <3 also nudist camp administrator lmaooo asjsjsjkjskkkk i would love to see that

tbh, i do have the semblance of a character arc for tim if n52 hadn't happened. while i love the notion of him going full civilian, the way red robin ends gives me very little hope that that's something he'll be able to do... :(

in my ideal world, bruce finishes setting up batman inc. and everybody can kind of relax a little about saving gotham.

tim ends up moving to san francisco full time after dick basically drags him out by the ear. they have a long and exhausting conversation where dick is the biggest hypocrite in the world and tells tim how important it is to have a life outside of the mask. tim alludes to how wearing red robin during brucequest often felt like some weird kind of self-imposed biblical punishment but it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the world. there's a painful segue into how tim had no back up plan for saving his own life after ra's threw him out of the window and dick tells him that tim can't do that to him because he'll always catch tim but what if one day, he can't? tim needs to have something to live for outside of vigilantism bc neither of them want to end up as obsessive and fucked up as bruce.

also rlly want a conversation between bruce and tim about him buying the monarch theatre apartment. it goes... poorly. but things do settle down between bruce n him when tim says he's considering college.

he ends up taking a few introductory classes at a community college in SF, spends a lot of time skateboarding and trying to reconnect to photography. prolly sets up a west coast HQ for neon knights. some absolutely unmatched pathetic-boy-rizz from him with tam as she helps in sorting some of that out.

he and cassie spend time lazing about in the tower and talking about how kon and bart are back but it can still feel like a dream sometimes. they probably end up getting young justice going again. rlly need some unmatched homoerotic vibes going on with lonnie, who gives tim intel in the weirdest ways possible. also rlly want a long-term plot where he and prudence work together again to deal with some loa bullshit where they both are trying not to betray each other and they end up succeeding because of the power of friendship <3

six months in, tim kinda feels too far away from gotham so he ends up moving to new york bc it's closer to gotham but he's still not as entrenched in the bruce of it all. definitely takes classes at hudson even if he can't commit to college full time (peak little brother behaviour to follow ur brother's footsteps). bruce only sighs in exasperation bc none of his kids are going to finish college— he still has hope for damian, tho.

maybe he hunkers down to finish getting a degree, maybe he doesn't. but i can definitely see him going into outreach work of some sort— he has great people instincts! if he doesn't put his foot in his mouth, he's soooo likeable and endearing. rlly like your idea of him becoming a part-time biomedical engineer... he canonically enjoys fiddling with tech and gear. BRING BACK CLENCH TRAUMA!!!

anyway, this became way tooooo long but tbh, i could see him in a lot of potential careers but they would all be part-time. he's forever answering distress calls from gotham. i would pay serious money for someone to write a fic about him being a nudist camp administrator that's so fucking funny