#you don't like something - stop watching and don't make it other peoples problem
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jazeswhbhaven ¡ 2 days ago
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Hi!! Could I ask for a headcanon with the Kings and maybe some nobles of your preference with a MC that is a little bit feral (like when they get angry they growl or bark like a dog and bite people hard) idk, in my head it's funny to imagine MC biting hard without let them go when gets angry or barking like a chihuahua XD
Sorry for the bad English btw
No worries anon, your English is fine! Thank you so much for waiting on this. Lol chihuahua MC sounds like something cute for the kings and nobles to deal with~
Nobles first!
Sitri: He's so used to Satan biting him that it didn't even register when a pissed off MC tackled him and bit into his arm after being told "no" to something. Naturally, Sitri just stares, processes and then ends up blushing because it reminds him of when his Majesty takes a huge bite out of him for his blood. The bite doesn't hurt obviously and MC barely broke the skin, but now it appears that Sitri's got a biting kink...
Glasyalabolas: It's quite comical to see MC attempt to bark and bite this huge devil on his shins after he said something to intentionally piss them off. It seems that he does it on purpose because he finds it cute that they even try. In the end, all he does is pick them up by their shirt and smile while offering a "treat". This may or may not piss off MC even more though.
Naberius: What could go wrong with MC being feral and biting Nabe? What do you mean he growls back and barks and it becomes serious like watching a dogfight take place? What do you mean that Nabe ends up winning and it turns into something....spicy. Well at least MC tried it and got the results they possibly wanted. Neither party remembers why they were mad in the first place.
Kings time!
Satan: Growling? Biting? Don't you mean that MC is flirting with him at this point...those aren't even fighting words for Satan when it comes to MC. Each bite mark, each growl and scratch is nothing but a love language.
Mammon: This king finds it absolutely adorable that MC is barking and growling, even hissing when trying to make a point that they're angry. All he does is pat them on the head and there's even a point where he considers buying them a collar if they insist on behaving like a bad pet.
Beelzebub: Again, another king that doesn't find any issue with MC being feral when upset. His cute human just expresses themselves best that way and it's up to him to "train" them to bite the correct places if they want a reaction. Yeah, he means it in that way. No he doesn't intend on fixing MC, just making them worse.
Leviathan: Now, when it comes to him? There will be no behavior like that at all around him. If MC wants to get upset properly, then they should do it like he those and throw insults and give idle threats. But he doesn't want MC to do that either. If they're upset, they are expected to just deal with it. He's raised a feral demon before...he has no problem dealing with MC.
Lucifer: Yeah uh, this got shut down quickly. MC only growled once at him and never did it again. Lucifer didn't have to do much except stare at them with a disapproving look. MC was pretty much like a puppy with their tail tucked between their legs.
Belphegor: He likes cats more than he does any other animal, so MC's barking and biting annoys him. He can't handle their attitude when upset so he just sits on them until they stop. Problem with this is he falls asleep on MC, so they're stuck there for a while until Beleth can come and remove the heavy assed king off of them.
Asmodeus: MC being upset didn't even last two seconds. Once they started barking and growling, he took that as a challenge to do some roleplay and bring MC into submission. Sometimes he'll really get into it and have some pet play in there as well. MC forgot why they were upset.
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gallusgalluss ¡ 1 day ago
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please unleash your inspekta thoughts
your art is amazing i cant stop looking at it
i hope you have a happy new year!!
happy new year anon n thank you :]!!!!
also ur so evil ur letting me unleash my Inspekta thoughts,,,,how cruel how cruel
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im going full yapper mode + there's spoilers so Watch Out
I like Inspekta, he's a little freak and a really interesting character to think about. While, for me, the twist with him wasn't totally a surprise (I did Not trust his cuteness the second i saw him lmao), I REALLY liked the way his character progressed throughout the game. He's your buddy! He's your pal! Don't worry about all these posters and weird plushies and standees and propaganda of him everywhere and how he keeps being called “the one and only god”, it's Fine it's Fine! He's sillay :D!!!
I'm generally just obsessed with characters who are put into leadership positions who absolutely Should Not have that amount of power over people, and I think Inspekta's a perfect example of that type of thing for me.
He had his own fears, loneliness, and jealousy cloud his judgment and that resulted in some Really Fucked Up Stuff. As a mortal he wanted to be special in the eyes of the public, so he gained enough popularity to get elected to be a god! Yay! But now he's scared of being forgotten and there's a new possible god being elected, wuh oh! Time to ruin Literally Everything because what's the easiest way to be remembered, worshiped, and loved by all if there's no more competition for your rule? Empty heavens, baby!!! Let's bring in an apocalypse!!! Yay!!!!!
Bro's fucked up and I like that.
I love how despite it all he still tries this whole Cute Buddy Friend act, even at the end with this Worm Form. Cause he KNOWS the other gods would trust and believe him and the lies he's spread about King's shocking letters, cause why wouldn't they? He's just a silly lil cutie pie! They all trust him! He's the God of Leadership! How could a Leader lead others astray? And he knows the Bizzyboys will follow him as well since he's been leading them pre-godhood for several years. He's a role model to them all, starting from nothing and now he's a god! He's just so trustworthy and sweet and will totally save the day!
Also I just wanted to include this somewhere. I really like this section (after Chapter 3, I think???)
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He has this brief moment of vulnerability/sincerity/something that made him drop his “Cutesy Voice”. Like aside from this scene, near the end of chapter 5, and i Think a few parts i'm 100% forgetting, I don't think we actually see this more contemplative n genuine side of Inspekta.
He does instantly goes into gloating about himself and how he's Clearly the MOST IMPORTANT GOD OF ALL (before correcting himself to include the other gods, of course, of course).
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Like if he didn't have that Ego-the-size-of-the-galaxy + Saddest Scaredest Loneliest Most Jealous Withdrawn Loser combo, all he had to do was to just Talk To People. He could've Talked to people about his Fears and Insecurities. Even the other gods; after all he's done, were still there for him! Like “Hey dude this is fucked up, we all already love you dummy, you can talk to us ya know you're allowed to feel scared!”
He's just the cutest most moe creature with soooo many issues and problems he needed to figure out.
NOW WITH HECTOR
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Most of my Inspekta Thoughts can just be applied to him but slightly modified. I think it's interesting how he chose to go back to being a regular person, it makes sense cause he's like Aware of the amount of damage he's done/could've done. While he certainly won't be forgotten after Everything he's done, he isn't going to be as Grand and Powerful as he wished to be.
He's just a guy in his 50s who's trying to get over his God Complex of 33 years and also attempt to gain back the trust and respect of the Grove’s people. He's definitely going to be bearing the weight of what he's done for the rest of his life probably, but it IS interesting thinking about what he'd do to actually improve himself now, learn how to be a person again n such.
He’s also a sad miserable booboo beast of a man and i think him suffering in anguish is awesome!!!!!!! yay!!!!
This turned into more a character analysis of some sorts instead of solely my own personal thoughts, whoops. Anyways i think his designs, all 3 of em are really fun to draw. He's cute n stretchy and marketable, as all gods should be.
so ya basically inspekta/hector sucks, i hate him, and we should kill him with hammers. now. thank you 💖💖💖
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lexosaurus ¡ 2 days ago
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Everything Was White: Part 25
[see all chapters]
read on: [ao3] [ffn] (please read tags)
Summary: After being accidentally revealed to the public and taken away by the government, Danny deals with the aftermath of his time with the GIW.
****
"You can't stay inside forever, Danny," his mother told him that morning as he tried to eat his sad, soggy cereal.
"I know, Mom," he snapped. Because he did know, Captain Obvious. But it still didn't make today any less nerve-racking.
"You'll be fine. Your friends will be there with you, and Sam has her car, right? So the only walking you'll be doing is from her car to inside the restaurant."
Danny scowled at his spoon. "It's not the walking I have a problem with, and it’s not like I’m using my crutches anyway."
There was no saying how long they would be out, and using his crutches for longer than a few minutes was still exhausting. So no, that wasn’t the reason he was so on edge about this.
The truth was, this was officially the first time Daniel Fenton Phantom was going to be out and about in public. 
"People will leave you alone. And worst case, just leave!" Maddie offered a smile as she plucked his now-empty bowl from the table. "This is a big step, but your therapists have been telling you for some time now that you need to do this. It'll be fine, you'll see."
It was just lunch at the Nasty Burger. He'd done it hundreds of times before. And this time, because his parents were just so proud of him for taking this big step, sweetie, Jack had even left him a crisp twenty-dollar bill on the table that morning.
Apparently, Jack had chalked his last wad of missing cash up to ghosts. Assuming that Danny would ever do something like stealing was simply unthinkable. 
Danny went about his morning, showering, putting fresh clothes on, and combing his hair no fewer than three times because what if he couldn't convince the public that he was normal? What if they all saw him as a grotesque, dead monster in a human skin suit? Or worse, a traumatized, skinny, weak kid that the Guys in White had trained into their pet plaything?
No, he wasn't a dog, and he could cover up all his fears under shampoo, washed clothes, and a friendly smile that he tried to practice in the mirror but felt silly enough to stop.
And then the doorbell rang.
His core sizzled, and he was almost too slow to stamp it out, to remind himself that it was just Sam and Tucker, that there were no government agents at the door, Danny.
His therapist had said this adrenaline response was natural. Still, it infuriated him the way his heart pounded and fingers tingled pins and needles whenever someone approached the other side of a closed door.
"Danny!" Sam bounded through the entrance.
He barely remembered to put on that smile he'd practiced in front of the mirror that morning. "Hey, Sam! Tucker!"
"Dude!" Tucker pranced inside like he owned the place. "This has been such a long time coming!"
"Yeah, it was kind of—kind of hard for me to get out before."
"No worries, man!" Tucker offered him a high five, and though Danny rolled his eyes, he met his friend halfway.
"Eating alone with Tucker has been torture," Sam lamented, her dark purple lips setting in a pout. "There's only so many times I can take him drooling over his beef environmental disasters by myself before I lose my sanity."
"Well, don't worry, Sammykins, because now you'll have to witness the power of two of us drooling over our beef environmental disasters!"
Sam slugged Tucker in the arm, and although Danny could see there was little power behind it, Tucker still made a big show about gripping his shoulder and wailing, "You wound me, woman!”
"Shut up!" Sam cackled.
Danny watched the dramatic performance as if he were standing on the other side of a glass wall. Every time the three of them hung out, he noticed these little moments more and more. Moments where Sam and Tucker seemed like they were from another planet.
Or maybe Danny was the one from another planet. The hopeless alien trying to blend in with the humans.
"Alright, let's go?" Danny asked, not wanting to delve further into his depressed psychology.
Tucker snapped out of his performance. "Let's go!"
"My car's in your driveway. You good to get in on your own? I mean—uh—" Sam stammered, glancing at Danny's wheelchair.
Right. He hadn't driven with his friends before.
"I'm good. You just—um, throw it in the—you know what? I'll show you." Danny transferred from the couch and headed for the door.
It was warm for a typical January day in Amity Park. There was no paparazzi outside their house either—thank god. Danny was last year's sensational hit, and his overnight fame seemed to be beginning to die down.
Not that he was becoming obscure by any means. He was still on the front page of Reddit nearly every day, and his tag on TikTok had thousands of videos and millions of interactions. But the constant bombardment of people stalking him outside his house was finally dispelling.
Of course, this only added fuel to the fire that was his parents’ recent insistence on him going outside. The paparazzi would find him eventually as they always did, and there was nothing he could do about people recording videos of him to post on social media, but Danny would at least get a semblance of normalcy.
He followed them out of the house and into the driveway where Sam’s car—a hybrid, she’d been very proud to show off—was waiting for them. He climbed into the car. The passenger seat, because although Danny was fully expecting Tucker to call shotgun, he hadn't.
"So I just put it in the back?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. The brakes are on, so just put it in as is. It won't move or anything."
"Alright." Sam picked up his wheelchair as if she were picking up a baby for the first time. Nervous, hesitant, as if afraid it would break under the lightest touch.
He remembered when he was like that too. Scared he would break it by shifting his weight even slightly incorrectly. But those days had long since passed. 
Sam slipped into the driver's seat just in time for Tucker to lean over the center console. "Alright, Team Phantom! Nasty Burger time!"
"Ugh, don't remind me," Sam groaned, but Danny could see her smiling.
With little more fanfare than a nervous glance Danny's way, she turned the car on and backed out of his driveway.
"Should we get milkshakes, too?" Tucker asked. "I mean, what am I even saying? Of course we're going to get milkshakes! Duh! It's Danny's first time out since...since..."
"July," Danny finished all too quickly.
An awkward silence settled over the car. Tucker tried to save it. "Wow, that long? That's..."
He wasn't successful.
"It's okay! Uh, we're really happy that—that you…" Sam's voice also stammered.
God, the awkwardness between him and his friends was painful. Okay, it was Danny's turn to step in. Maybe a joke to ease the tension?
"Yeah. Well, you know, I was—I was too busy being kidnapped."
The dead silence grew, and Danny's heartbeat stuttered. He mentally kicked himself for bringing that up when he absolutely was not ready to talk about it with his friends.
If only they could see that he was Phantom again. That he had his core back and he was fine, he was okay. He wasn't some weak kid anymore, this helpless, fragile child. 
"Yeah..." Tucker said, looking at Danny like he had spinach in his teeth and he was too nervous to tell him.
"Listen, I'm good, guys, seriously. I'm just looking forward to—to eating my body weight in Nasty Burger fries," he lied. 
He’d wanted to take extra measures that morning to ensure the looming red bag wouldn’t be a problem, but he needed to be careful. Sam and Tucker knew him better than anyone else. He couldn’t take too much medication or they’d know something was up. But if Danny had a freak-out in the middle of the Nasty Burger, what would they do? How would they react? Would they agree with his parents and say that Phantom should never come out again?
Well, they already thought that, actually. That's why they didn't help him get Frostbite to take his chip out. That's why Danny had to turn to Vlad of all people.
Danny tried to shove that particular strain of bitterness away and tune back into their conversation. Sam and Tucker were chatting about…something that happened in their science class. Danny didn't know what because he wasn't in their science class. He was in the Learning Center because he couldn't handle being in a normal classroom. At least, not yet. 
“Yeah, but you’ll be back soon,” Sam said.
Oops, had he said something out loud?
"We wouldn't be in the same class anyway. You're in—in honors," Danny said. He turned to her, incredulous. "Do I look like an honors kid to you?"
"Well, you never know!" Sam said. “I’m not in honors everything, you know.”
"Yeah, we could be in the same English class!" Tucker said. “I’d rather die than join Sam in honors English hell, after all.”
“Maybe. But knowing me, they’ll invent a new—a new class below all the other ones.”
"Nah, no way you're leaving me alone with Valerie. You know she's been trying to talk to me, right? She knows we know she's the Red Huntress. She keeps asking about you."
He did not, in fact, know that Tucker and Valerie had spoken.
"What'd she say?" Danny asked, trying to seem casual as their car passed by a group of joggers who didn't so much as bat an eye at their normal car passing by. He was too used to people staring at the GAV.
"Uh…you know…" Tucker began, waving his hand around. "She said she was sorry for being rude or whatever—you know, back before she noticed my stunning good looks and charm!"
Sam snorted. "You're so full of it."
Danny found it difficult to find the humor. "Seriously, what?"
"Just the normal stuff you'd expect. You know, the same sorts of questions everyone else has. Was wanting to know how long we'd known you were Phantom, and how we'd helped out with the ghost fights and stuff. Nothing really special."
Danny had forgotten that Sam and Tucker had become somewhat public figures when he had been both thrust into the spotlight and taken from them. It was short-sighted of him to believe that they would have been left alone in Casper High
Sam pulled into the Nasty Burger parking lot. "She's been trying to talk to me, too. Same as Tucker. Have you talked to her at all?"
“No,” Danny lied, glancing at the red-and-white building. "You know if she still works here?"
"Nah," Tucker said. "She quit last fall. I think Vlad gave her a raise."
That was good. It meant there was little chance Danny would run into her again.
The car came to a stop. The drive had seemed much too short. Though, Danny suspected that even if the drive had lasted three hours, he would still think it was too short. Inside the car, he was safe, he was anonymous. But outside?
Outside, he was none of those things.
Danny took a breath in. Held. Then, on the exhale, said, "Okay." He looked at the gray ceiling of the car if only to avoid his friends' eyes. He didn't want to know if they were looking at him with pity or concern.
He opened his eyes and went to open the door when he noticed the large black SUV parked directly next to them. "Wait, Sam, uh—sorry. Sorry, I can't...you need to..." His cheeks heated up, and he felt the weight of the disabled parking placard in his hoodie pocket. He pulled it out and flipped it over in his fingers.
Sam's eyebrows knit in confusion, but then her eyes met the distinct blue and white stick figure, and her eyes lit up. "Oh shit! Sorry—totally forgot. Force of habit."
She turned the car back on, and Danny's cheeks only heated more. "Not—not a big deal. It's…it's not the distance. It's the space."
"No, no, I get it," Sam said.
Tucker leaned over the center console, not bothering to buckle his seatbelt again for the ten-second drive. "Listen, Danny, all I'm saying is that I can totally piggyback you over to the curb."
"I'd rather take my chances crawling, thanks."
"You're no fun!"
"Tucker, you can barely lift a wet paper bag," Sam quipped.
"You too? Come on, I've put on muscle this year!" He flexed his arm, though nothing bulged out from the sleeve of his baggy hoodie.
Sam snorted. "Doing what? Lifting your pencil from your desk every day?"
"No! I've totally been going to the gym, Sam!"
If he had, that was news to Danny.
But apparently, Sam knew exactly what he was talking about. She parked the car again and turned it off, saying, "Your New Year's resolution doesn't count! You've gone what, like three times so far? That's not exactly going to get you gains."
Tucker mimicked her lead, throwing open the car door and sliding out of his seat. "I told you, I'm easing into it! They say people fail because they go too hard too fast. Hell, you were the one that told me that!"
"Yeah, but I also told you it was important to establish a routine. Have you done any of that?"
"I'm working up to it, woman!"
Danny was about to yell out to his friends, "Hey! I'm still in here! Don't forget about me!" but thankfully, just as the awkwardness was beginning to get to him, Sam opened the trunk of the car and gently pulled his wheelchair out.
"Do I undo the breaks or…?" she called over.
"No, just leave them. I have to, um, transfer."
"Right! Duh!" Sam set the wheelchair next to his door.
Danny tried to make this transfer seem as fluid as possible. He tried to descend out of the car with the practice of someone who had had a spinal cord injury for a decade and was confident in their own body, thank you very much, but he couldn't help but notice the way Tucker awkwardly shuffled nearby, or the child with its eyes glued on Danny as his mother yanked him through the Nasty Burger doors, admonishing him because it's rude to stare.
He was fine. He was fine. It was only the Nasty Burger. He had come here a million times before.
He undid the brakes and gripped the rims of his wheels, his palms clammy against the sleek metal. He felt so small between Sam and Tucker. He was usually half the height of everyone else, but the gap felt so much greater out in public. He wondered how long it would take before someone posted a video of him on social media. This would almost certainly make the fame worse again.
Maybe people would see that he was just trying to return to his old life and would leave him alone. But as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he stamped it out. No way would that ever happen.
"Okay, let’s go! I'm fucking starving!" Tucker said, ushering the pace along. He ran ahead and held open the door nice and wide. "Come on, you guys are so slow! Make way, make way, the world's slowest people might come through!"
In times like these, Danny was almost grateful for Tucker's dorky obnoxiousness, if only to help quell some of his seemingly never-ending anxiety.
He opened his mouth to say something about Tucker being a little shit and maybe a threat about sleeping with one eye open that night when his voice died in his throat.
Friend groups and families of all ages packed the Nasty Burger as the weekend lunch rush commenced. And Danny could see them, the people whose eyes lazily glanced over to the loud teen at the door, spotted Danny, and froze. Then they nudged their friends, who also turned to stare at Danny.
The whispers started, and the cell phones rose.
"That's really him?"
"No way!"
"Do you think that means Phantom's back?"
Phantom was back, but Danny couldn't say that much. He could only sit here and grind his teeth into silence.
Meanwhile, Sam and Tucker seemed to be faring far better with the whispers and blatant videoing of their trio. Maybe they were used to it. Or maybe they were trying to pretend everything was normal for Danny because he was fragile now, he couldn't handle the pressure last time that's what landed him in inpatient.
"I keep telling you to come to the gym with me," Sam chatted animatedly. "I'll show you how to build a solid routine!"
"Oh yeah, because sticking to a rigid routine is exactly what I'd call having fun at the gym," Tucker snarked. "Seriously, do I look like the kind of person who'd be into that?"
"You're impossible sometimes, you know that?"
Tucker only offered his signature shit-eating grin in return. "And you still love me anyway!"
Once again, Danny was not a participant in their banter.
"Okay, I seriously wasn't joking before that I'm starving! I didn't eat breakfast."
"That's what you get for waking up late."
"Yeah, yeah. What are you, my mom?"
Danny forced himself to join the conversation as they got in line. Primarily, to distract himself from the blatant onlookers. And, perhaps also, to show that he was a normal kid with normal friends. "What are you gonna get?"
"Triple Nasty combo," Tucker answered automatically. "And probably a milkshake on the side. Duh!"
"That's so much food. The poor animals," Sam said.
"Yeah, and I'll eat it all too. You watch!"
"I'd rather not."
"Well, I already know you're getting a tofu melt because you hate fun. So what about you, Danny?" Tucker asked.
Danny shrugged. He wasn't sure he could eat with his stomach practicing gymnastics inside his torso. The smell wasn't horrible in the Nasty Burger, but it still had that slight processed scent that made Danny's eyes think that every red booth they spotted in passing was a vestige of the red bag.
Shit, now his brain was thinking about it. He wanted to stop thinking about it. Just stop, Danny, it's not that hard.
People got behind him in line. He could hear their whispers.
"…so small in person…"
"…feds messed him up…"
Inhale. Hold. Exhale.
Normal kid. He was a normal kid.
"Danny?" Sam's tone was too gentle.
He looked up to see that they were now standing in front of the register, and a nervous-looking teenager was staring openly at him. People around gave him a wide berth, most openly gawking at this point. The rims of his wheelchair felt cold, and then he realized shit, that was just the ecto-frost on his palms threatening to freeze him to the floor.
"Um…" Danny pretended to look at the menu, but his eyes couldn't really focus on anything. "I guess a…uh…just—just a regular Nasty Burger. And, um, fries."
That was a normal teenager thing to order, right?
"What, no milkshake?" Tucker asked.
"Not—not that hungry," Danny admitted. He tried to remember if he would have ordered a milkshake in the past. He probably did, right? His shrunken stomach was supposed to be back to normal now, according to his doctors, but he still didn't feel like it was.
"Aw, for real?" Tucker said, but he snapped himself out of it quickly, clasping a hand on Danny's shoulder and flashing a grin. "Don't worry, because I'm such an amazing friend, I'll let you share mine!"
"Oh, yeah, thanks."
The cashier rang him up—only slightly stuttering when she pressed a wrong button and apologized five times for making him wait an extra few seconds—and then the trio headed for a table.
"Needs to be off to the side," Danny said, realizing there was no way he could fit through the narrow aisles in the middle of the packed joint. "Not near the front windows, though."
Like hell was his face going to be the first that everyone saw when they entered the restaurant.
Sam was way ahead of him, though, already beelining for a table along the side. Danny followed with Tucker in tow yapping about some glitch he'd discovered in whatever video game he was playing. Danny appreciated the effort, truly. Video games used to be the primary thing that they bonded over. But now, Danny didn't even recognize the title, and he realized that he wasn't too interested in trying it for himself.
As they passed by the crowd, people practically leaped out of the way. When a middle schooler with her back turned was partially blocking Danny's path, her friends yanked her aside so hard that Danny thought the poor kid was going to fly headfirst into a table. But then she turned, saw him, and her eyes grew comically wide as she yelled, "Oh shit!"
Her friends, of course, giggled uncontrollably at that, chiding their friend for being "so oblivious, oh my god!"
Yeah, this was fine. He was just a normal teen at a Nasty Burger. There was nothing to yell about.
In another universe, they would have sat at a booth along the outer perimeter of the fast food joint. After all, booths were always superior. But not now, not when sitting in a booth meant abandoning his wheelchair to the aisle where the general public could trip and spill their drinks on it.
Danny didn't have to ask Sam to move one of the chairs off to another table. He scooted himself in as if this were rehearsed and they'd done this before, as if this were a normal Saturday routine for them and Danny wasn't so anxious he thought he might actually sink through the floor.
"This is why you never get any better at games, though," Sam snapped at Tucker.
It took Danny a few seconds to realize that they were still in the middle of a conversation.
"But it's fun! Come on, Danny, back me up!"
Danny blinked owlishly at him. "What is?"
There was the barest hint of a flicker in Tucker's face. A brief moment where his eyebrows began pulling together, where his lips dropped, where his eyes flashed, before he pulled his cheeky smile back on and answered in the same bright, whiny tone, "Exploiting the system, of course!"
If Danny hadn't known any better, he would have excused that as a trick of the light.
"But if you spend the entire time cheating, then you'll never actually develop any skill! See, this is why I always crush you one-on-one," Sam argued.
"Yeah but it's fun," Tucker reiterated.
Danny attempted to put on his best bro-code as he backed Tucker up with what was probably an extremely convincing, "Right."
Sam pressed her lips together, and Danny's fingers twitched for his pocket where a little plastic baggy awaited him.
He was not doing well at this whole pretending-to-be-normal thing. Maybe at home it was less obvious, but here, surrounded by dozens of other normal people, his little quirks were too glaring. Too freakish.
If he could take up the offerings of the small plastic bag in his pocket, he could pass as normal. But then Sam and Tucker would know something was up, and oh god, everyone was watching him, right? There were whispers everywhere. Why was being normal so easy for Sam and Tucker? Why couldn’t he be like them?
Maybe the pills were like his wheelchair or crutches. He couldn't be normal without them. He was a freak, a zoo animal in an exhibit, and everyone knew it. Maybe he belonged in a little cage where everyone could watch him, point and whisper, one with white walls and white floors and—
A kid stumbled forward, knocking into his wheelchair. Danny turned, and the child hid his face behind his stubby fingers and backed away. He bumped into his parents, who gently said, "Go on," and pushed him forward again.
The child, who couldn't have been older than six, approached him again, now peeking rather obviously out of his fingers. A tuft of dirty blond hair sat on a head almost too large for his body. But Danny immediately zeroed in on the child’s black shirt with a familiar white logo on his chest.
Why was this kid wearing his shirt when Phantom hadn't made an appearance in months?
"Hi." The kid stood beside Danny and dropped his fingers from his face. He rocked back and forth on his heels, barely able to hide his nervous excitement as he asked, "Can I take a picture with you?"
Danny's mouth dried instantly. He glanced at Sam’s and Tucker's reassuring expressions before turning back to this bouncing child.
Phantom had taken lots of pictures with kids before. But Fenton? Well, before the reveal, Fenton was a nobody. And after the reveal, he'd turned government-plaything-to-crazy-kid. The fact that not only did this random child want a picture with him but his parents were standing a few steps away encouraging it?
Was he dreaming?
Thankfully, his voice returned to Danny quickly enough for him to say, "Uh—yeah. Yeah! Of course!"
The child squealed and closed the gap between himself and Danny, who leaned to the side with his arm out. The kid went right for it, clasping his hands in delight when Danny's hand wrapped around his shoulder.
The kid's parents were quick with their phones, snapping their photos before Danny's brain could finish processing the bizarre nature of whatever the fuck was happening.
When the parents gave their thumbs-up, the kid whipped back around to face Danny, his nerves now fully given way to excitement. "Thank you, Phantom! You're my favorite superhero. Look, I have your shirt!"
For the first time in his life, Danny felt completely out of his depth. Thankfully, Tucker was to the rescue, leaning over with a "Wow! Look, Danny, it matches your suit perfectly!"
The kid clapped. "It does! I got it because then we match!"
"Thank you." Danny hoped he didn't sound too dumbfounded. "Um, what's your name?"
"Theo! Santa got me this for Christmas. I wear it all the time and my friends wanted the shirt from Santa! Bryce has a shirt already, and sometimes we match too!"
"Well, thank you, Theo!" Danny said, having no idea how to respond.
"Come now, let's let Mr. Phantom get back to his friends," his father said.
"Okay!" Theo said, then hesitated, glancing between the wheelchair and Danny before something in his little brain computed and he reached over and tried his best to hug Danny.
And if Danny's brainpower was flickering before, now it officially short-circuited. Because this kid, this kid, was really...hugging him? He took a picture with Danny and now he was trying to hug him?
And his parents weren't screaming and cursing at him for being a danger to their son?
No. Wait, his parents were taking a picture of this? They were smiling?
Danny felt a kick to the side of his wheelchair, and he snapped back to Earth to realize that oh, duh, he was supposed to hug Theo back.
Even though he was afraid that touching the kid might set someone off enough to call the police on him, nothing of the sort happened. He gently wrapped his hands around Theo's back, and then the kid broke free, beaming up at him with a smile so wide, Danny was afraid it might fly off his face.
"Thank you, Mr. Phantom! I hope you feel better soon!" Theo said, skipping back to his parents.
His father high-fived him, praising him for being such a good boy and asking Mr. Phantom first before leading them back to their table across the restaurant. The mother hovered for a moment, hesitating, before walking over to Danny and saying, "Thank you for taking a photo with him. You're Theo's idol. He was so worried about you when everything happened, so seeing you here today meant a lot to him."
"It's no problem," Danny said, and he meant it. He was still reeling that this happened at all.
Not that it was bad. It wasn't. It was actually…kind of nice. Warm in a way he couldn’t explain.
He pushed through his jittering nerves because, for some reason, he really felt like he needed to say one more thing. "Tell—tell your son that—that Phantom is working hard to be back soon."
The woman's eyes almost looked watery as she said, "I will. Thank you."
And then she left to join her family.
The whispers followed, but Danny suddenly didn't care. He felt light. Like he was almost flying. His core hummed happily, sending waves of exhilaration dancing along his limbs.
"Wow, that's so cool, Danny!" Sam said.
"Yeah, I guess it is,” Danny replied, blinking more stars from his eyes. "I didn't think anyone—anyone would…"
"It's like I said, dude!" Tucker grinned. "You're kind of a big deal. Both you, and Phantom."
"Well, yeah, I noticed." Danny's eyes flickered to that group of middle school girls who were very obviously sending Snapchat videos of him to all of their friends. "I just—I didn't think it would be—be like…that. I don't know."
Sam's lips pulled into a frown. "Danny, you realize that most people are on your side, right? That it's just the angry people who are the loudest?"
"On my—on my side and letting their kid take photos with me are two different things, Sam."
Sam and Tucker exchanged a look. A long look. One that soured Danny's mood instantly because shit, his friends thought he was unstable, didn't they? Were they going to tattle on him to his parents? Or Jazz? Tell them that Danny thought of himself as little more than a freakshow exhibit at the circus and that they should get him more therapy?
"It's—forget it," Danny said. He opened his mouth to elaborate, to make an excuse that the kid just caught him off guard and that he was aware that most people were on his side, thanks, and maybe spill that he'd seen their post pinned to his subreddit, when the girl at the counter called their order number.
He waited at the table while Sam and Tucker got their food. He could feel everyone's eyes on him. He was alone, vulnerable. Everyone was looking at him. Whispering. Wondering.
He heard a snicker behind him. Were people laughing at him?
No, it was just a group of friends, they were talking, they probably were laughing at something else entirely. Not everything revolves around you, Danny. Stop being so egotistical.
Thankfully, Sam and Tucker didn't abandon him for too long. They returned, trays of food in hand.
Sam placed his plate in front of him, and he held his breath. He could feel his fingers start to shake, and he hid them within the sleeves of his hoodie. He couldn't crack, not now, not while he was in public.
Don't think about it. It doesn't smell the same. This is totally different.
Eventually, he had to let out a breath, but not until the world had drowned out of his ears and his head was spinning. Was it from the lack of oxygen or the anxiety biting holes in his skin? 
"You're not going to eat?" 
He jolted up to see Tucker already halfway through his burger. Sam, too, was looking at him with a lost expression.
Panic swirled in him. Had his friends been talking casually to each other the entire time? Had they noticed his silence?
Did they care?
Was he even really their friend anymore? Or was he just the third they let tag along because they felt bad leaving him behind?
"Oh, what?" Danny tried to let out the breath he'd been holding as quietly as he could. His lungs burned. "Sorry. Yeah, just spaced out."
They stared at him a moment longer, and Danny could feel his face heating up. He could smell the processed food in front of him.
It's not the same thing.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Sam asked gently. “We can take this to go if you need.”
God, he hated how she looked at him like he could break at any moment.
"I'm fine," he snapped. He wasn't going to let her see him weak.
His pulse quickened. He needed another pill.
This was the issue with the hydrocodone. It wasn’t as potent as the oxycodone. It didn't last as long either. The mental relief wore off too soon.
He should have taken the extra one in his pocket.
Tucker and Sam were having a silent conversation. But this one was so loud, Danny could almost hear it.
"Should we bring him home?"
"I don't know."
"What if he has a meltdown?"
"He can't have one right now. We're in public."
He wanted them to shut up, to leave him alone, to stop looking at him like he was something to pity, like some starving dog begging on the street corner. And so, he raised his burger to his mouth and took a bite.
It was fine. He was in the Nasty Burger. He was fine.
The burger was juicy, and regardless of the smell, it really did taste like a burger. Nothing at all like what he’d eaten before. Which seemed to work for whatever set of stringent rules his brain had decided on, and he could feel the panic begin to trickle out of his skin.
"It's good," Danny commented when his gaze flickered up to see the strained looks on his friends’ faces. "Really good."
Sam's face melted in relief. "I'm glad!"
"That's why we brought you out here!” said Tucker. “Figured a taste of the best fast food ever would bring you right back to the good old days!"
Danny wished that was all it took.
"Yeah. I guess the reminder is nice."
Their eyes weighed a thousand pounds on his skull as he bent down and took another bite.
It did taste pretty okay. Nothing at all like the red bag, though it smelled a little like the red bag and ugh no don’t think about it, don’t think about it.
Their chatter started up again, and this time, Danny tried his best to follow along.
Or, maybe not. Because while they were talking about school, a topic Danny should have at least been familiar with, he was already lost.
“Dash and Paulina haven’t broken up yet, idiot,” Sam said.
“‘Yet’ being the key word there,” Tucker said. “That means you think they’re a bad matchup too!”
“Yeah, they have basically nothing in common other than popularity.” Sam swiped a fry off Tucker’s plate with a level of ease that made Danny’s gut squirm, though he didn’t understand why. “That doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to become her knight in shining armor. You have even less in common with Paulina than Dash does!”
“Wait, Dash and Paulina are dating?” Danny asked.
Sam rolled her eyes. “Barely. Tucker’s convinced he has a chance to ask her to prom. No one thinks they’re going to last.”
“Prom?” Danny’s voice squeaked.
“Yeah, we’re juniors!” Tucker nudged him playfully. “We get to go to prom in the spring! It’s still a few months away before promposals start, but a man’s gotta plan early, right?”
Danny took a slow bite of his burger and chewed, not making eye contact with either of his friends. He’d forgotten that he was an upperclassman, technically. Though, given his current academic situation, he barely felt like a student at all.
But it didn’t really matter, because there was no way a damaged, fucked-up hybrid like him was ever going to get a date to prom.
“Hey,” a voice behind him said.
He turned just in time for a camera to flash.
The paparazzi instinct was burned deep into his reflexes at this point, and he ducked his face behind his hands.
“Can you still turn into Phantom?” the pap asked.
Sam shot her a glare. “Um, do you mind? We’re eating.”
The girl ignored Sam. “Can you speak to the rumors about why you haven’t transformed since your arrest? Is it true that the government took away your ghost form?”
“He’s literally still injured. He can turn into Phantom just fine. Let him heal first,” Sam said.
Danny felt his core pulse and winced, pushing it back down. His ghostly half didn't take kindly to the implication that it was weak and needed to stay hidden. It didn't like to lose.
It wanted to appear, to show the world that he was here again, he was back. 
But no. No.
"Does this mean that you're done acting as the town's protector?"
Danny ducked his head to hide the green glow of his eyes under his bangs, and he heard Tucker suck in a breath beside him.
Click!
The camera flashed.
Conversations at other tables hushed around him. Other people were picking up on what was happening.
Calm down. 
The door opened, and another set of footsteps began stalking over to his booth. 
Click!
"Phantom! Hey, Phantom, look over here!" 
Another paparazzo.
"Hey, hey!" a gruff voice behind the register called out. "What the hell are you guys doing on my property?"
"Phantom!" the paparazzo said, closer this time, ignoring the Nasty Burger manager.
"Okay, it's time for us to go," Tucker said quietly, stuffing both his and Danny's food back into its paper bag and tugging Danny's hoodie sleeve. "Come on, we're leaving."
If he got up, then that would be another shining example of him running away from his problems. It would be proof that he was weak, that he couldn’t handle a few simple questions. It would show the public that he couldn’t do normal human things like go to the Nasty Burger with his friends. 
But he didn’t have enough of the medication in him. His fingers wouldn’t stop trembling. He couldn’t make a stand without the fog.
"Let's go." Tucker's uncharacteristically serious tone offered no argument, and his eyes were hardened like a soldier going into battle. 
In all their years of friendship, Danny had never seen this side of Tucker before. Sam had always been the leader of their group, but in this moment, it wasn't Sam taking charge. It was Tucker not just asking but commanding Danny to follow his orders.
So Danny did. He pushed himself away from the table and followed Tucker to the door, passing by nameless faces and eyes all tracking his every muscle twitch. 
He felt like an alien. 
He should have just taken the extra hydrocodone that he couldn’t afford, suspicions from Sam and Tucker be damned. 
It was sickening how instantly he’d caved to the pressure from the paparazzi. He just wanted to look them in the eye and tell them to fuck off. 
But he couldn’t do that. Not without help.
"Phantom! Look over here!"
"Phantom!"
Had they multiplied?
"Get the fuck out of my store before I call the fucking cops, you vultures!" 
Those girls were whispering again. As were the other group of teens next to them. And the group of families behind them. And every group around the store. They were all staring at him, whispering, talking about him because they couldn't believe that Phantom was actually here in the flesh after months of only seeing his name in the news.
He felt hands on the back of his wheelchair, and then he had the stunning realization that Tucker was pushing him out of the restaurant. Had he stopped moving? He hadn't even noticed.
DĂŠjĂ  vu rushed over him, and for a moment, he felt like this was last fall all over again. With him spacey and confused, and Sam and Tucker doing their best to maintain a normal friendship out of some deluded sense of obligation, even though they were acting more like Danny was a toddler they were responsible for looking after rather than their friend. And worse, he couldn't even blame them.
Danny had rarely heard Tucker sound so serious. So confident. Gone was his squeaky, puberty-ridden voice, and now here was the blooming baritone of a nearly seventeen-year-old who had matured far more in the last six months than Danny had even realized.
Both of them had matured, he amended as he looked over to Sam's straight back and squared shoulders. Her toned arms swung and her chin stuck out with a set jaw and purple lips pressed in a line.
They had both grown so much. And he hadn't.
A toddler. He was just a toddler to them.
"I got it," he muttered, trying not to sound too bitter as he regained control of his wheelchair. 
The paparazzi followed them out of the restaurant, of course, yelling questions that sounded more like the buzzing of a mosquito than actual words.
Sam's car was right in front of the building where they'd left it, which meant that it was in the prime location for the paparazzi to get a nice show of Danny transferring to the car.
"Sorry that your faces are gonna end up on TMZ tomorrow," Danny said, trying to keep the tone light. 
Tucker waved him off with a grin that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't sweat it, dude."
"Wouldn't be the first time, anyway," Sam added.
Yeah, he supposed it wouldn't.
He tried to look more energetic than he felt as he got into the car, turning his head away as Sam and Tucker stowed the wheelchair in the trunk, even as he heard the flurry of camera clicks capturing every moment of it.
He also didn't miss Sam's overly aggressive door slam, or the tensely lighthearted tone Tucker's voice held as he called out to the paps, "Enjoy the rent money!"
Sam snorted, then opened the driver's door and began sliding into the seat. "Yeah, hope your parents are proud of you right now! Harassing a bunch of teens like this!"
"Just a word!" one of the paparazzi yelled back.
"Why haven't you turned into Phantom?" the second asked.
"Is it true that the Ghost Investigation Ward destroyed your ghost half?"
"Why didn't you answer me before? Are you finished working as Amity Park's protector?"
Danny's core twinged, and not for the first time today, he cursed his ghostly Obsession for making things like this utterly impossible to ignore. "I'm not done!"
Beside him, Sam stiffened, her hand poised on her open door, a second too late to close it. 
"I'm not done working as Phantom!" His core hummed. "I—I'll be back! Soon!"
"Danny, stop," Sam hissed.
Danny was done listening to what other people thought he should do with Phantom. He was done hiding.
"How soon?"
His core throbbed, and it took everything in him to not transform right then and there. Though judging by the breath Tucker sucked in, Danny could guess that he hadn't managed to keep his eyes from glowing green.
The first ghostly display he'd shown the public since his release from the hospital, and…he wasn’t concerned in the slightest at the potential backlash.
In fact, his core was preening like a peacock at the mere thought that the paparazzi had caught a video of his eyes glowing.
Recklessly, he pushed his aura out harder.
"How soon, Phantom?" 
Danny grinned. "Soon!"
****
previous / next
****
Thanks to @imekitty for betaing!
[read more of my works here]
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bitchthefuck1 ¡ 6 months ago
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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angelsdean ¡ 8 months ago
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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stagefoureddiediaz ¡ 2 years ago
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To all the anons currently harshing my mellow by clogging up my inbox shouting angrily at me for theorising that Eddie and Lucy are going to go on at least one date and telling me you'll stop watching the show if they do.
I suggest you stop watching now and save yourself some time - perhaps use it to gain some critical thinking skills, or maybe use it learning how to not go around making your misery everyone else’s problem!
Don’t forget to close the door on your way out!!
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ourceliumnetwork ¡ 16 days ago
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i really am just going to have to lean into the fact that i just really like cheese board foods and deal with that, aren't I?
#tw: eating disorder#this post brought to you by#the can of olives i put on the list last grocery run that i am having to stop myself from devouring in one go#and how well black olives pair with cream cheese on any vehicle#(it's very well btw in case you were wondering)#get some hard salamies some good cheese options some more olive varieties some pickles maybe some nuts and dried fruits#mmm#...it is not lost on me that the heavy presence of salty foods on here is probably my body's attempt to fix itself from the POTS lol#i struggle with eating around people so you'd THINK this would actually not help#but i might try and hold back some of the olives so i can have them on my plate for Upcoming Holiday Meals so i can eat with everyone...#i think it might work#cause i have zero problem with these foods to the point that i will annihilate a snack table if i don't monitor myself#and remember there are usually other people involved when the snack table layout happens#....learning this is a thing i have has not been my most fun revelation i'll be so honest with you right now#i have panic attacks if i know it's possible other people know i am even making my own plate to eat in my room alone#because then they know i'm consuming food#and it hits randomly - i'm blaming it on the holiday season right now#i don't remember if it's seasonal or not but it feels like this is something i've been struggling with all year and probably for longer#and like... it's fucked up i can't eat with people#i want to hang out i want to enjoy the meal in front of whoever made it so they see i loved it#i want to hang out and chat and have fun and watch stuff with other people#and sometimes i can figure out how to do that#but i... i got startled earlier this year with someone who was Greeting Me while i ate and i reacted poorly and i feel terrible every time#because like... i love this person i want them to feel comfortable enough to come give me a hug as soon as they're at me#i want them to know i want their presence i just...#i was eating and i... i can't let people know i eat - i'm messy i'm too fast i'm too slow i talk too much i'm not talking at all i'm eating#something weird i'm eating something normal and boring and someone is going to say something about how much is on my plate and#...and i really do in fact have an eating disorder like#i don't need a doctor to tell me that i have something wrong with my relationship to food and the consumption thereof and i'm fighting it#i'm fighting it EVERY DAMN DAY because i *know* i need to eat and i *know* i dont NEED to earn my food
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ulmus-spellook ¡ 3 months ago
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Just me venting about printer stuff
I'm out here creating notes on articles and collecting ones I want to use for notes, all on my computer (my book collection is a whole other thing) and so I have long ass word doccuments (I can never spell that word correctly -_-) that I need to organize and tabs open with articles that let you print them and the need to figure out how to turn ones you can't into a doc you can print (easy with wikipedia, so text dense, but when it's something with a lot of pictures that creates it's own problem) and I just have so much stuff I plan to print out and put in my binder-grimoire (as opposed to my notebook ones. The binder is nice because I can stick all sorts of stuff in it and keep re-organizing it afterwards), but I have a problem. I bought a new, relatively cheap, printer because the one I had been using broke and I had limited access to it (It was not my own) and setting it up keeps feeling overwhelming, but I have so much stuff that I'm like
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^me going through articles online and trying to keep track of everything I need to print.
#emma posts#i'm rambling#why tf do they want me to use an app to set this up?#If I want to set up a phone app it should be secondary to setting a printer up with my FUCKING LAPTOP#and then I've heard people saying that they've had problems with this printer when trying to connect to something other than the main devic#but this seemed like the most affordable option and I tend to stick to one piece of tech until something gives and I'm forced#to get something new#which you might be surprised by. how long I can hold out I mean.#I've been using a 2015 laptop for eight years and only god can stop me#or it not connecting to any new stuff I need. I've made it work so far though#that's nothing compared to how stubborn I was about my previous phone though#I used that thing until the screen literally fell off. I'm not exagerating. the bottom half of the screen got disconnected from the actual#phone itself. I will probably have to replace this new one sooner though#and I WILL once again look for the closest phone to my old one being sold. You will pry the home button from my cold dead hands#even though I somehow broke my current one and have to use touch assist#I still haven't switched to wireless headphones even though I use a bluetooth speaker#Do I know how to use them? Yes. Do I like them? no.#I am also tired of my phone trying to connect to my neighbor's smart tv when I watch youtube. THAT'S NOT OURS!#It does this even when I don't have bluetooth on. Which is most of the time#I am dealing with period hormones rn though so that is probably making this worse#I am too tired to get really angry though. Just frustrated and sad#I wonder how much of my stubborness about my tech is the autism and how much is the money#the cat facing the wrong direction in this picture is key to the vibes
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inkskinned ¡ 8 months ago
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how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.
a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."
you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"
you stop reading. it has 567 likes.
where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.
like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.
in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.
and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.
what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.
it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.
someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.
you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?
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pomegranatesarchive ¡ 8 days ago
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not so secret santa
pairing: max verstappen x teammate!reader
summary: secret santa has never been your favorite holiday tradition; in fact, you’ve always found it more stressful than fun. but this year, it’s somehow even worse—because out of all the people you could have drawn, you ended up with your teammate, max. [3.4k]
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"Can't I skip it this year?" you grumbled, watching as the F1 social media admin walked up to you, a phone in one hand, and a Christmas hat in the other.
The woman frowned behind the camera, shaking the hat slightly, "You love Christmas." she pointed out.
You nodded, pocketing your phone in your back pocket, you were on your way to the garage before you were stopped by the last person you wanted to see.
You had no problem with the admin, on the contrary, you found her delightful, but she was making the round of secret santa, and that's why you were hoping to avoid her.
"Christmas and Secret Santa are not the same." you quipped, reaching your hand into the hat and swirling around the tiny slips of paper. You took a deep breath, grasping one before pulling it out, the camera following your every movement.
You leaned by, opening the slip away from prying eyes, "Shit." you cursed, quickly trying to put the paper back into the hat.
The admin laughed, leaning back, "No switching!"
You groaned, "C'mon please!"
She laughed, shaking your head, "Nope! Show the camera."
You grumbled, slowly turning the paper, Max Verstappen.
The woman laughed, delighted by the odds, "Okay. You remember the rules?"
"Don't tell anyone." you grumbled, pocketing the slip of paper, "I never know what to get!" you whined, as much as you loved Christmas the gift-giving part was something you despised, you always second-guessed yourself, and could never pick out what you deemed a 'good gift.’
"You have until two weeks from now." she beamed, before walking away, no doubt on her way to find her next victim.
.
Later that day you had a list of those who could help you on the hunt for the perfect gift. The first person on your list for help was, unfortunately, out of all people, Jos Verstappen.
Truly he was the last person you would ever want to talk to, but you thought that if anyone could be able to help you with picking out a gift, it would be Max's dad.
You would've gone to his mother, or even sister first. But they rarely visited the garage, much less when Jos was around, which you entirely understood.
"Get him something for racing," he spoke simply, you stood near him awkwardly, this was only your second one-on-one conversation in all the years you've been racing with his child, and moments like these reminded you why you avoided him, "Gloves."
You blinked, "You don't think I should get him something more personal? I mean I've known him for a while now."
"You've known him for a while and still don't know what to get him?" he sent you a look, and you resisted the urge to snap back, taking a deep breath.
"I'm bad a gifts."
"Then don't get him anything," the man shrugged like it was the most reasonable thing, "He hasn't been doing good enough to deserve a good Christmas." he scoffed.
"He's leading the championship." you laughed in amazement, truly not understanding how a father could say such things about his own child.
Jos' eyes snapped over to you, "Norris is catching up, he's not doing good enough."
"Not good enough?" you gaped, taking a step back, deciding to let it go and not start an argument in the middle of the garage, "Nevermind. Nevermind. Thank you for your…help.” you didn’t bother giving him a fake smile, turning on your heel quickly and walking out of the garage.
“Asshole,” you whispered to yourself, walking quickly with eyes on the ground.
“My dad?” you stopped abruptly, looking up to see Max in all his glory standing in front of you.
“Hm?” you blinked, staring up at him.
He pursed his lips, hands on his hips, “You were talking to my dad.”
You nodded slowly, debating whether to lie or not, “…I was.”
He hummed, left eye slightly twitching, “Okay. Why?”
Your mind went blank, thinking of any excuse you could use, “Um…”
Max eyes you, nodding along with you, “Um…”
"I just wanted to catch up."
In hindsight, you definitely should've come up with something more believable.
Max shot you a very telling look, letting you know that he didnt believe an ounce of what you were saying, "Catching up? With Jos?"
"Yes?" you squinted up at him, tone not as believable as you wanted it to be.
"You don't catch up with Jos. You don't like Jos."
You tried to look offended, "I can catch up with Jos."
Max let out a short laugh, eyes glancing behind you, no doubt to his father, "No. You don't like him." he repeated, "Most people don't like him."
You stared up at him with a blank look before letting out a deep breath, "You're right, I don't like him."
Max nodded once more, an amused look on his face, "So why were you talking to him?"
You balled your hands into a fist wanting nothing more but to tell him that you were on a search for the perfect gift, but you resisted, "I wanted to catch up with Jos but then he opened his mouth and reminded me why I stay away."
Max said nothing, simply staring down at you, a certain look in his eyes, you sighed, "I promise."
Finally, Max let up, giving you a smile, and patting your shoulder before walking towards his father.
With a grimace you quickly spun on your heel, catching Jos's eyes, you pressed a finger to your lips, hoping you would get the hint—it appeared like he didnt by the way he looked at you in a mixture of disgust and confusion.
You watched them anxiously for a moment, before scurrying away, choosing to not see the moment Max realized you had lied to him.
Back with the Verstappens, Max was eyeing his father oddly. He knew you had just lied to him, your anxious tone and the way you balled your hands into fists told him you were lying, he just didnt know about what.
"You two were catching up?" Max voiced his disbelief, the last thing he expected was for his father to continue you lie.
"Yes, Max." his father sighed, already annoyed by the talk you and him just had, and now he had his son asking him the same question over and over again.
"About what?" the exasperation in the racer's voice pulled a smile to Jos's face.
He turned to his son with his arms crossed, "Win this race, and I'll tell you."
Max blinked, truly that was the last thing he expected to come from his father...and it made him mad. Years of winning and winning, and the man couldn't tell him this one thing? When had he ever asked for anything from him?
Max scoffed, rolling his eyes before walking away, ignoring his father's calls behind him.
.
There was something so intimating about Oscar Piastri and his blank face. Maybe it was because of how calm cool and collected he was, while at the moment you were the exact opposite. Either way, you were cursing Secret Santa for putting you in this position.
It was the day after your pick when you ran into him in the hotel reception center, he was sitting on a couch, eyes and face blank.
You contemplated walking away multiple times, but you knew you needed all the imput you could get to get Max the perfect gift.
"Hey Oscar..." you sang awkwardly slowly sliding down to the spot next to him.
He blinked slowly, turning to you slowly, "Hey." he mumbled, before turning back and facing straight, no doubt creeping out some of the people walking by.
You argued with yourself mentally, trying to build up the courage to talk with the man next to you, "So uh.. who'd you get for Secret Santa?" you tried, cringing into yourself.
"I'm not supposed to tell you."
"I'm won’t tell anyone."
"You'll tell Max." you didnt bother trying to defend yourself, knowing he was right, you would've definitely blurted it out to Max.
"Yeah.." you mumbled slowly, prusing your lips.
"You got him right—Max?" he asked simply.
You snapped your head over to him before looking around the hotel reception room crazily, "Shh!" you whispered and shouted, "He could hear you."
Yesterday after Max's conversation with his father, you were sure he was going to come back and let you know that his father had spilled the beans, teasing you over not being able to keep 'secret' Santa a 'secret' for longer than 24 hours.
But he never did. Instead, he complained about Jos for almost a full hour, not once did he bring up the gift situation.
"Yes. Because I'm sure he can hear me from the track...from here."
You shrunk slightly in embarrassment, you were not aware he had left the hotel, "You never know." you scoffed, rolling your eyes, "So uh.. you're good at gift-giving, right?"
Oscar tilted his head in thought, "I mean, I don't think it's something I'm known for."
"But like, you're good at it right?" you tried leaning towards him.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Happily, you slightly bounced on your spot, "Great!" you paused, "So like, hypothetically, if you got Max for Secret Santa," you saw a small smile spread on Oscar's face, "Hypothetically, what would you get him?"
Oscar hummed, "Hypothetically..." he dragged the word out, he paused before seeming stumped, "I don't know.."
"Oscar!" you groaned, slumping in disappointment.
"I seriously don't know," he whispered to himself, seemingly distraught, "Wow...I don't know."
The room's tone shifted as Oscar kept mumbling to himself.
"It's okay Oscar," you smiled awkwardly, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know..." he muttered to himself, avoiding eye contact.
"It's okay.." you patted his arm, noticing more and more people were glancing your way, yet he didnt stop mumbling to himself.
You laughed awkwardly, slowly getting up, "Yeah okay." you mumbled, looking around before walking away, leaving him with his mumbles.
You circled around the hotel lobby for what felt like hours (it was three minutes) continuously taking peeks at Oscar, who continued to look in horror at a revelation that he, did not know.
After a few more circles, you thankfully spotted the next person on your ‘help with gift’ list, Lando. He was exiting the elevator, a concerned look on his face as he started heading towards Oscar.
You took off in a quick jog, cutting him off mid-walk, he stumbled on his feet trying to not bump into you, “Hey!” you greeted gleefully, blocking his eyesight as they trailed back to Oscar.
"Hey." he blinked, shooting you a quick smile before his eyes inevitability trailed back to Oscar, who had a deep frown on his face.
"I need your help," you pursed your lips, Lando looked down at you in confusion before looking back to Oscar, contemplation clear on his face. You decided to clear the air, "Oscars fine. He just's...thinking, about what I'm going to ask you actually!"
It took a second before Lando nodded in acceptance, "Okay? What’s up?"
"I got Max for Secret Santa, and I want to get him something super good, but you know I'm bad at gifts right? Yeah, I got you for Secret Santa last year and it sucked," you rambled as Lando nodded with a frown, recalling when you got him a replica of his helmet, like his own helmet, it would've been thoughtful if it wasn't, his helmet, "And I asked Jos and he was no help, so then I asked Oscar but I think.. I think I broke him."
Lando looked down at you blankly, opening his mouth and closing it a couple times, before finally, he took a deep breath, "Okay.." he dragged out, "Why don't you try anything racing-related?"
"That's what Jos suggested."
Lando jumped back in disgusted, "So let's not get him anything racing-related."
You nodded in agreement, "I was going to get him a new cat but that seems like a big commitment."
Lando hummed in agreement, "Especially because he just got one, what's its name? Donatello?"
"Mhmm."
"What if you don't get him a cat, but get him something for his cats." He rose up a brow.
Your face lit up before it slowly dimmed, "But isn't that like getting his cats something and not him something."
Lando shrugged, a small frown appearing on his face, "That's all I got."
You groaned throwing your head back, "No! Lando no!"
Lando laughed, his eyes crinkling in amusement, "I'm sorry!"
You moved to his side, putting your head on his shoulder, "What'd you get Zhou?"
Lano beamed, "A pillow of his cat, Sweetcorn."
You gasped, an open-mouth smile on your face, Lando quickly cut in, "No you cannot use that idea!"
You faltered, looking up with a glare, "Have I told you how much I hate you?"
Lando looked down at you with a cheeky smile, "Many times, yes."
You grumble to yourself, slight smaking him on the shoulder before turning and walking away, onto the next and final person on your list.
.
You had lost Daniel Ricciardo's phone number. That was a big problem seeing as he was the last person on your 'quest to find Max the perfect gift' list.
You had gotten a phone two months prior, actually, Max got you a new phone, claiming that your old phone was 'deteriorating.'
During the process of switching phones, all of your contacts were deleted, a problem that was solved as you went around the track asking for all the phone numbers you could get, the problem was that Daniel was no longer at the track. You told yourself that you would get to it eventually, but you never did.
And now you were in this horrible situation, you had to somehow get Daniel's phone number from Max, without explaining why you needed it.
You could've gone to literally any of the other drivers, but they all seemed to be strangely avoiding you. (Little did you know Max had figured out the next part of your plan and told everyone to ‘hide’ from you so you had no choice but to go to him.)
He was sitting next to GP, pointing at something on the screen his mouth moving widely. You snuck up behind him, giving GP a look, hoping he would take the hint. Thankfully he did. He only took a couple seconds patting Max on his back and walking away.
Quickly you slid into his seat, shooting Max a smile.
His eyebrows shot up instantly, "You're done avoiding me?"
You laughed fakely, looking around the garage, "Me? Ignore you? What? Outrageous Max, just—outrageous."
The driver shot you a look, making you clear your throat awkwardly, "Do you have Daniel Riccarido's number?" Stupid question, of course, he had his number.
"I do." Max nodded simply, you winced you had hoped that he would just offer it on the spot, but of course is it really Max if he isn't difficult?
"Great!" you nodded enthusiastically, "..Can I have it?" you added quickly.
Max smiled to himself, turning his body toward you entirely, his head leaning on his palm, "Why do you want it?"
You faltered, swallowing thickly, "Why?" you stuttered, trying to think of a great excuse.
"Mhm. Why?"
You stared at him, "Because he's my friend. And—and I miss talking to him."
Max's smile got wider, "I got you a new phone two months ago, you haven't said anything about talking to Daniel?"
Shit. He was catching on. "I want to ask him out!" What?
You blinked, shocked at what had just come out of your mouth, Max on the other hand looked more amused than ever, "Oh?" he tilted his head, "Really? You and Daniel?"
You nodded painfully, "Yeah—yeah, um I've been thinking about it for a long time?...and this just seems like the right moment, ya know?"
Max was beaming ear to ear, "No, I don't know."
"Okay well, you don't need to get it. I just—I need his phone number please."
Wordless, Max handed you his phone, watching as you opened it and sent yourself Daniel's number, you hopped off the chair, giving him one last awkward smile, "See you later!"
Max watched you go with a fond smile, shaking his head. God he couldn't wait to see what you would get him for Secret Santa.
.
"I'm surprised to hear from you!" was one of the first things Daniel said when he picked up the phone. You were currently in the bathroom with five minutes to spare before ths race started.
"I lost your number!" you defended yourself, peeking under the stall to see if anyone had entered the bathroom, thankful nobody had, "I need your help."
"How may the wise Daniel Ricciardo help thee?"
You pulled a face, shaking your head, "What should I get Max for secret santa?"
"Easy. Get him something family-related."
You got a hear a pin drop. Easy. Something family-related, of course! Max loves his family!
"You are a fucking genius, Daniel."
"So I've been told." you could hear his smirk through the phone. Unfortunately, you didnt have time to hear him continue, "While I have you, how has your season been—“
"Sorry Daniel, can't talk, thanks for the insight! Oh and by the way, if Max or anyone asked I declared my love for you on this call and you very kindly rejected me? Okay? Okay!" before he could splutter out anything, you had already hung up.
.
Max stood in front of the camera crew, a smile on his face as he shook the small envelope, "So it's not a new cat?" he quipped.
The people behidn the camera laughed, the social media admin shrugged with a grin, "It still could be."
Max shook his head as he started to slowly and carefully open the envelope, "I don't think she could manage to fit a cat in here." nobody picked up on the 'she'
Max hummed as he peeked inside the envelope, "I see a note, should I read that first?" he looked at the admin, who shrugged.
"Okay.." he dragged out, pulling out the note, he cleared his throat as he started to read, "Happy Holidays Max! I hope you're reading this after you've opened the actual present..." Max paused, slowly turning up to the crew who were shaking in laughter, he shook his head deciding that it was too late to stop, "Getting you a present was very very, very difficult, but after some help, I was able to make my choice, I really do hope you enjoy the vacation with your mom and sister," he paused before continuing, "And don't worry about booking hotels or babysitters, I got it all done, Merry (early) Christmas Maxie, with love—your secret santa."
With a huge smile, Max placed the letter onto the table, before excitedly reaching into the envelopes, and pulling out three plane ticks, "Wow." he gasped, turning the tickets and showing them off to the camera, "It's three tickets to Greece for me, my mom and sister," he beamed, examining them further, "I've always wanted to go." he whispered to himself.
The camera crew smiled to themselves while the social media admin leaned in with her eyebrow raised, "Any idea who your secret santa was?"
Max nodded almost instantly, laughing slightly, "It's (name) I recognize her writing."
The admin laughed, shaking her head, "That's cheating Max!"
Max shook his head, pointing at the woman, "It's not my fault I'm good at this!"
The admin waved him off, "Okay! Okay, you were right, it was her."
Max smirked, "I knew it," his eyes unfocused, wandering over to behind the group of people in front of them, curious they all trailed their eyes over to where he was staring, "I guessed right! You can come out now!" Max yelled out, the camera crew gasped as you peeked out of a thick pillar, hopping over to them with a smile.
"She was there the whole time?" the mic man whispered to the cameraman, who shrugged, mouth open in surprise.
"I don't know...but that's slightly scary."
You walked over to Max with a smile, letting out a small squeak as he pulled you into a tight hug unexpectedly, "You guessed so quickly" you groaned, feeling him press a kiss on your head.
"I found your list," Max whispered in your ear, laughing as he felt you tense up.
"Like the list?" you groaned, feeling embarrassment flood your system.
"The list," Max confirmed as you two pulled away.
You winced avoiding eye contact.
Max laughed, reaching over to squeeze your hand, "Thank you. Really. I love the gift."
You smiled proudly, before turning to the admin who was watching the scene with a small smile, "I'm warning you right now that I am never doing secret santa gain."
The woman giggled, a cerstain gleam in her eye, "We'll see about that."
.
a/n: truly impressed with the writers who write 4k words and UP fics, this one is 3.4k and it took me well over two weeks to write (which is why its being uploaded after christmas) anywhoo i hope you guys enjoyed!!!
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vanteguccir ¡ 2 months ago
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── ୨୧ ! TOO MUCH
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻��༺ ༻✦༺
The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
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sehnsuchts-trunken ¡ 5 months ago
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(Don't You) Steal My Thunder
my tyler owens playlist 🤝 inspiring fic titles
Tyler Owens x fem!reader  7k words
summary: Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. But he's set on getting you on his good side. And the more you get to know him, the less you can resist.
a/n: i had to research sm car stuff for this it's not funny. i now know exactly how to describe a truck bed though, so. that's fun.
again, my inbox is wide open <33 i don't guarantee anything, but you can always come talk to me or request smth
masterlist | twisters masterlist
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Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met.
He prints his face on t-shirts, writes his autograph on mugs, comes up with ridiculous sayings ("Not My First Tornadeo" and "If you feel it, chase it" are really just the tip of the ice berg) and most importantly, he costs you the best shots of tornadoes every goddamn time.
Tyler Owens is a problem.
And Tyler Owens seems to have actively decided to make himself a problem too.
Which would be fine, if he flipped you the bird or told you to fuck off or threw his paper towels at you. Unluckily, those are rather examples of what you have done to him. Because it's not fine, not at all - no, Tyler Owens has decided that it's not enough to be in your way all the time, he has to seek you out and rub your nose in it.
Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. He's cocky and he's arrogant and he's entirely too full of himself. He brags too much and calls you "weather girl" too often. He gets under your skin more than you would ever admit.
And, as if all of that isn't enough - Tyler Owens is the very epitome of handsomeness.
It's like god didn't just have a good day when he created Tyler Owens, no, god must have still been in the post-haze of the best head he'd gotten in his whole immortal life when he'd created Tyler Owens.
Because Tyler Owens has the body of a greek god and the face of a Hollywood actor. He's not a pornstar, he's who pornstars worship. He's the Prince Charming little girls dream of and the Christian Grey grown women lust for.
Tyler Owens looks like everything you've ever wanted.
But he's just such a fucking asshole.
You wish you could say you didn't care. You'd love to be the kind of woman who didn't even acknowledge him. But you're not. You're not. You watch his videos when you can't sleep, you chuckle when you happen to overhear his jokes, you ogle his back when he's turned away from you. Sometimes, you get so lost in staring at him that you realise too late when he turns back around, and then you have to act unbothered when he grins his fucking grin at you. That's mostly when you flip him off, desperately fighting to ignore the heat in your cheeks.
Not like it stops him. You honestly feel like it only spurs him on.
Something has to seriously be wrong with him. It's not his face. But something is seriously wrong with him, you're sure of that.
Something has to be wrong with him. No sane person would ever go tornado wrangling. No hate to the rest of his crew - they're nice, you've managed to hold a few pretty normal conversations with them here and there - but none of them are sane either.
Storm chasing is different. You keep your distance. All you need are a few well-placed photographs - and those you can get from a rather safe number of miles away. The weather channel doesn't care about close-ups (not really, anyway). They want something to show the people on their comfortable couches, up in New Hampshire or Maine, so that all of them can say to each other "What poor folks, wouldn't wanna live there" and nod in pity as they switch the channel to watch another blockbuster.
You're just doing your job.
The only problem is that it's hard to do your job properly when there's always that fucking red truck in the way, driving down empty roads right into the heart of the tornado. And because no one on the news wants people to see that and go "Well, can't be too bad if there's still cars on the streets!", in the last few months - ever since you'd volunteered to move back to Oklahoma 'So that we've got someone right in Tornado Alley and don't have to fly people out there every time' - the weather channel has only shown the first few minutes of tornadoes forming. The rest of your pictures and videos lie abandoned in the trash file on your laptop. Except for a few - a very, very few, very, very good pictures of Tyler Owens and his Tornado Wranglers. But those won't ever see the light of day either.
You'd be damned if you let anyone know that while Tyler Owens is busy disturbing your actual work, you're busy taking pictures of him shooting fireworks into tornadoes. Pictures that would make for some damn good headers (if you hadn't buried them far, far down your gallery).
This time is no different. You get a few amazing shots of the tornado forming – surely an EF2, maybe even an EF3 - before you settle in the driver's seat again, your window rolled down and your camera hung around your neck as you push down on the gas. Then, a few miles further, you get even better shots of the full tornado, of the first few minutes of destruction, right there, in the middle of an empty field.
And as always, of course, just as the tornado takes on full form, you spot that familiar red truck through the lens of your camera. It speeds down the pavement right in front of where you’ve swerved onto the side of the road and you snap a few pictures, just because you’ve got the trigger right underneath your finger. Honestly, something about that dirty red paint against the grey skies just looks too good not to capture. But then the truck comes closer and closer and starts to slow down and you let your camera sink.
Tyler has his window rolled down already when he stops the car. There’s that annoyingly handsome grin on his lips, the one that makes you want to slap him across the face.
“You’re too far away, weather girl”, he calls out above the rumble of distant wind and thunder. “The good pictures are down that way.”
“The good pictures are right here.” You lift your camera at him. “Maybe you just need to update your equipment.”
Tyler’s grin widens, but before he can throw another of those obnoxious retorts your way, Lilly’s voice rings out through the car.
“Hey, T, looks like it’s changing course. You should hurry.”
His eyes are still glued to yours, still glued so firmly to yours that it makes your skin crawl. You can’t look away, couldn’t possibly look away. Tyler Owens might just be a cocky asshole, but you’re only human. And the weight of his gaze on yours is enough to keep you stuck in place, clutching at your camera.
“We’re on our way, Lilly”, he drawls without looking away from you. “See you around, weather girl.”
The rest of the pictures you take land in your trash file with all the other pictures of the last few weeks. You’re laying in bed, your laptop propped up against a pillow, the empty plate from dinner on the mattress next to you as you sort through today’s work. That’s the good thing about the time difference – you’ve got until seven to send the channel the day's results.
By nine, you’ve showered, put on a dress you feel confident in and settled on one of the chairs at the local bar. You’ve been telling yourself you need to get out a little bit more – you’ve been living here three months now and you haven’t really made any friends so far. To be fair, your job has kept you out and about most of the time. You’ve spent more hours at gas stations to fill up your tank than you have in your own home. But now you’ve decided to put an end to that. You're a young woman in a new town, you can meet more people than just the cashier at the local supermarket.
So for the past twenty minutes, you’ve been nursing a mojito at the counter and talking to the bartender. She’s nice, she’s your age, she’s extroverted enough to keep sidling up to you after every time she has to excuse herself to do her job. That, and she tells you she’s grown up here, so she knows most of the people around. She’s just serving another customer – a long-haired, brown-eyed, hat-wearing country guy who’s already shared a smile or two with you – when someone rests their arm on the countertop next to you.
“Didn’t expect to see you here”, he drawls, all low, deep Southern accent and you recognise his voice before you’ve even tilted your head up and looked at him. His grin drips down onto his words and wraps itself around your mind.
Tyler Owens isn’t just annoying – he’s unbelievable. He's unbelievable and he’s here.
“So you’re stalking me now”, you say, as drily as you can possibly manage. You've been doing that a lot around him. Dead-panning everything. Schooling your expression into fake neutrality.
"I'm here all the time, weather girl", he grins. "If anything, you're stalking me."
You snort, but it's rather unfunny when you think of all the videos you've watched, hours after they'd been livestreamed, cuddled up in your bed until midnight just to stare at his face. He's not that far from the truth.
"In your dreams, Owens", you say anyway, dragging your eyes back towards your almost empty cocktail glass. You wrap your lips around your straw and drain your drink entirely. What you say and what you do, none of that matters in the end. All of this is just show. Every conversation you've had with Tyler Owens in the last three months has been nothing but a performance. Other than your name, you don't think a single sentence out of your mouth has been honest. Not when it comes to him.
"Let me buy you a beer" is the only answer you get.
His grin widens when you look back up again - so cocky, so unbelievably cocky.
"I don't drink."
You push your glass an inch further down the bar top. Tyler raises his eyebrows. Fuck, someone really needs to kick him in the face. You can't keep having all these little heart attacks whenever he's close enough that you could touch him if you wanted.
Not that you want to.
"You're drinking right now", he says. You rest your palms against the bar top and blink at him.
"I don't drink with you."
He lets out a chuckle, one of those deep ones that settle right in your chest and make it hard to swallow.
"Just this once?", he asks and in all honesty, for just a second there, you actually consider giving in. He's too handsome for his own good. You really need to get it together. He's an ass (what an ass, goddamn). And he's insane. He's an insane ass. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that - those times like now, when his piercing eyes and his kissable lips and his rugged stubble and his broad, broad shoulders and his drawled voice overshadow everything else.
"Don't you have some livestreaming to do?", you ask, hoping it still comes across just as sarcastic when you're the slightest bit distracted by how gloriously tight the sleeves of his flannel are. "Go chasing tornadoes, not me."
His grin widens inexplicably further. You're sure that if you were in a comic, there'd be a lightbulb flashing above his head right about now.
"Well", he drawls, "if you feel it..."
"Don't you do that shit to me, Owens."
He's raising his eyebrows again, raising his eyebrows as you clasp your hand around your empty glass so hard your knuckles turn white. But you're serious. Just as you'd lost yourself in the view of him, that angelic, sinful view of him, he'd gone and reminded you why you were so adamant to keep your distance. If you feel it, chase it. Ridiculous. Obnoxious. He's an arrogant, know-it-all, suicidal job-wrecker. He's the guy with cameras pointed at him everywhere he goes. He signs mugs and selfies and hats and shirts and bras. He's the reason you haven't gotten a single un-edited shot of a fully formed tornado in the last three months.
"You're not a fan of my catchphrase, weather girl?"
He can't even pretend to look wounded (even though he tries) with how big the grin on his lips still is. You stare right at him, dead-eyed and unflinching.
"I'm not a fan of you."
Lies slip off your tongue so easily by now that you wonder when you'd become morally compromised enough to not even care anymore. It must've happened somewhere along the way, sometime between the first conversation you'd had with him and the one you're having with him right now.
"You wound me", he grins, his palm pressed to his chest.
For the first time tonight, you allow yourself to grin back at him.
"I try."
With that, you slip off your chair and wave the bartender goodbye. You're already two steps away when Tyler calls after you.
"I'd still buy you a beer."
"I'm still not drinking with you", you call back. You don't turn around again. You just make your way back to your car and mark the evening as a half-successful night of socialising on your to-do list.
...
You see him again first thing the next day. Of course. Because there's no tornadoes without the Tornado Wranglers on their tail. By now, you're used to it. You wave at Dani as they come back out of the store at the gas station you're waiting at. They've got both arms full of coffees and for a second, you consider offering your help, but then you hear Tyler shout something out of his car and you suddenly don't feel any desire whatsoever to get up. You've sat yourself down in your truck bed, your camera slung around your neck and the radar on your lap. If all goes right, you're hoping for a tornado to form a little to the east from here. And as much as you dislike Tyler Owens, the fact that he's here soothes your nerves. Where he goes, there's sure to be tornadoes close by.
The few times you hadn't seen him had never ended well for you. You'd missed an EF3 your second week here just because you'd followed the wrong hunch. Meanwhile Tyler, of course, had been in the middle of it.
This might just be the one singular situation that you welcome seeing his red truck around. As long as you can manage to overtake him on the road after.
It's not that you need to be faster. You don't need to reach the tornado first. You don't even take the same way as him most of the time. He wants in there, you just want a sensible picture. Still, you can't help but feel a pang of disappointment every time you hit the brakes and jump out of your car, miles away from the actual cell as Tyler speeds down towards it. You've been telling yourself that it's because he ruins your pictures. It kind of is.
"Hey, weather girl!"
You let out a resigned breath as you tilt your head up and squint against the sun. He's still in his truck, his window rolled down, his elbow propped up against the car door.
"What do you want, Owens?"
Your fingers itch to reach for your camera. It's a visual, him in that fucking car, leaning out of his window with the sun peaking out behind him. But you can't, you can't take a picture of him this openly. Even if you were to argue that it's just the light you'd wanted to capture.
"To give you some advice", he calls out, his lips pulling into a grin. You raise your eyebrows at him. "East isn't gonna work out. Wind's changing. Go south."
He throws you a mock salute and hits the gas before you can say anything else.
Not that you'd been about to.
Instead you just curse to yourself, jump off the truck bed and throw your treacherous technology into the passenger seat with a little too much vigor. Fuck this. You sit at the steering wheel and stare out at the sky for exactly two seconds before you make your decision. Then you start your car and drive south.
You may not be a fan of Tyler Owens, but you've long since admitted to yourself that this man has got a gift. He has an unbeatable instinct when it comes to storms. And sure, you have your fair share of knowledge, but in the end, you're a photographer, not a meteorologist. You won't miss a day's work just because you're too proud to listen to Tyler.
You're a little further behind, but you can spot his truck and guess that he's driving straight on into the cell today, so you take a right and decide to try your luck with the side of the tornado. Not being right in its path doesn't sound too bad anyway.
You actually manage to snap a few well-placed pictures. You don't know what Tyler's doing, but it seems like he's not shooting random shit up the cell today. You'll watch the stream later - you're just the slightest bit curious now what's happening with them. Maybe they're doing some old-school chasing? Or maybe they're doing a challenge. Maybe Tyler is driving blindfolded. At this point, who knows.
It's good for you though. It's a considerable tornado today, an EF2 at least, and you only spot Tyler's red truck again when the cell moves further down the fields, away from him. It doesn't look like it's gonna disappear anytime soon. Maybe today's your lucky day.
Half an hour later, you're sure you've got at least a dozen pictures of the fully formed tornado, long touched down and without the red truck in the way.
You're just packing up your things, already sifting through the photos on your camera, squinting against the sunlight, trying to both tug the zipper of your bag closed and hit the right buttons at the same time when Tyler pulls up next to you.
"You look busy, weather girl", he says, already grinning that damn grin again.
"I am", you say - truthfully, for once. You let go of your bag and lower your camera. You're hesitant, but... "Thanks for the tip."
"Anytime", he grins. "Just do me one favour."
You already know this can't be good. Not with that cheeky look on his face. But he'd just saved you from chasing hot air (quite literally), so he deserves a little treat. And you don't want unsettled scores with Tyler Owens.
"I want to know what favour that's supposed to be before I agree", you say anyway, because with him, you can never be too careful. And in the end, you're only willing to do so much. (Though for him, you'd already do a lot more than you'd admit. A lot more than you hope he's aware of.)
"Let me buy you a beer", he says, and for once, he sounds serious.
The memory of yesterday night flashes before your eyes, of those same words at the bar. With him so close, way too close - with that grin and that stubble and that voice and those shoulders. You cross your arms and stare at him.
"If you're livestreaming this, I'm gonna sue your ass so hard."
He just lets out a chuckle and raises his hands in surrender.
"Cameras are off, I swear."
You stare at him for another silent ten or so seconds. At him in that fucking truck that looks just a little too good in your pictures. At him and his fucking face. That fucking face that you certainly wouldn't mind sitting on, if just to shut him up.
God, he's asking you to drink something with him. He's asking to buy you something to drink with him. You're stupid.
You're so, so stupid.
"Alright, cowboy", you say, uncrossing your arms and reaching for the handle of your car door. "I'll humour you."
...
You're in the bar again by nine that night, the same way you had been the day before. You're wearing a different dress and there's a different bartender, but you've ordered the same mojito and chosen the same place to sit.
Only this time, you're actively watching the door. And when Tyler strolls in, you've got to shift around in your seat and cross your legs. You don't even pretend you're not staring. You just ogle him openly. Not for the first time ever - you'd checked him out very obviously when he'd strutted towards you to introduce himself three months ago - but definitely for the first time in a while. And god yeah, he's a hunk of a man, alright. If you had your camera here right now...
But you don't. So instead, you drop your eyes to his feet (brown leather boots), drag them up his legs (blue jeans), over his chest (red checkered flannel), over his face (god, what you wouldn't give-) and finally rest them on the cowboy hat on top of his head.
When he's close enough to hear you, already grinning, of course, probably at how you're actually sitting there in the same spot as yesterday and hadn't just lied to his face about coming here, you raise your eyebrows at him.
"A cowboy hat?", you ask, your voice as unbothered as you can possibly manage (even though you're very, very, very much bothered right now). His grin only widens.
"Ladies love country boys", he drawls with a shrug.
"Now that's straight out of a song", you say. "You're getting lazy, Owens."
"A song?", he asks. "No, that's an Owens Original."
You pull your eyebrows even further up.
"Ladies love country boys? Trace Adkins?"
"Nope. Not familiar."
But his grin tells you that he's lying. He's a liar. He knows very well where he got that line from. And he knows just how easily he got under your skin with his simple trick. As if his face isn't enough already.
You just shake your head and turn away from him.
"Put your money where your mouth is, Owens. Buy me a beer."
...
Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. But he's also a great conversationalist.
The hours fly by as you're talking. One beer turns into two, then into an uncountable number of soft drinks. You both agree that you need to drive home, neither of you is willing to risk a run-in with the police. You need your drivers license for your jobs.
Tyler talks to you about the pictures you've taken today, then about the pictures from last week. He laughs when you blame him for ruining half of them and almost spits out his coke when you slap his arm for laughing at you. He tells you about his crew, about the people they've helped with the money from their dumb t-shirt sales. You think you hate him less by the minute. You're not sure if you're okay with that. But he gets you talking about your childhood and your parents, about school and college and about how you've wound back up here in Oklahoma. That effectively distracts you.
That, and how his cocky grin morphs into a genuine smile the more you open up.
Not that you didn't love the cocky grin. You did, just a bit. As obnoxious as it was. But the way he smiles at you all sweet has you melting right in your spot.
It's not the first time you realise that beneath all that rough exterior, there beats a heart of gold. You've known what those t-shirt sales are for, that he offers food and water after a tornado hits a town, that he carries the injured out of the ruins of their houses and helps find lost dogs. The more you've been around him in the past weeks, the more you've seen of his soft side. Of the way he cares and supports. But in the end, it always is easier to go back to the status quo - to fall back onto mindless snark and fleeting first impressions.
You'd clung so desperately to the image of him as this arrogant, smug, holier-than-thou influencer god for the sole purpose of keeping your own sanity. Because you'd known that without despising him, you would fall head over heels for Tyler Owens, and you just couldn't have that.
But now, with his arm brushing against yours and his hat discarded on the bar top and his smile, that beautiful, beautiful smile on his lips...
"Five bucks", he drawls, already reaching for his wallet.
"What?"
"Five bucks says there won't be a tornado tomorrow."
You raise your eyebrows at him, your glass hovering in mid-air between the two of you. You'd meant to take a sip, but now you're setting it right back down on the bar top.
"You're shitting me."
Tyler just shakes his head. He's grinning again, but it's much softer this time around.
"The winds are looking great. The forecast says it's gonna be the best conditions for tornadoes we've seen in the last six weeks. I've heard Dexter talk about how we're probably gonna see an EF4 tomorrow", you tell him, even though you're sure he's well aware of all of it. This is Tyler Owens, for god's sake. He knows about the winds and the forecasts. He knows that his crew is making preparations already.
His grin only grows. And it's smug now. It's cocky now. It's everything you thought you'd left behind during this conversation. He looks like the Tornado Wrangler again, like the guy who fucks up your pictures and makes your job harder than it already is.
It takes you a second too long to realise why.
"Dexter said that on our live", he grins, as if he can't quite believe what he's hearing. You physically recoil from him. "Do you watch our streams, weather girl?"
"No", you breathe, rigid and frozen, shocked to your very core. No, no, no, no, this cannot be happening. This cannot be happening. You'd... You hadn't made that mistake. He hadn't got you to make that mistake.
"Dexter talked about tomorrow on our live", Tyler says again, straightening his back and grinning down at you like he's just uncovered the lost grave of Cleopatra. "Only on the live. You watched our stream."
"No", you mutter, your eyes wide and your mouth dry, so dry. You need to drink. You need to drink so badly. "No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did. You watched our stream, honey."
The petname runs down your spine and clogs your senses. Honey. Oh, he's an ass, he's an asshole! But you're on the spot, you're on the spot and he's calling you honey, honey, honey. You can't do anything but watch as he leans closer to you, grinning down at you like it's his one true purpose on this earth, like he wants to eat you alive.
"I'd say you watch our streams pretty regularly, weather girl."
You swallow hard and clasp your hand around your glass.
"Yeah?", you breathe, hoping against all hope that your voice sounds somewhat innocent. You're sure it doesn't. You know it doesn't. You probably sound as guilty as you are, but... Hope dies last. Hope always dies last. "Why would you say that?"
"Just a hunch." He shows off those pearly fucking whites for you. "Call it an instinct. I'm usually right."
He is.
He's right now. He's right usually.
Him and his fucking instinct. His goddamn gut feeling about tornadoes, always right all the fucking time. He's like an Oklahoma Jesus. The first coming of Tornado Christ.
Fuck him.
Fuck him.
"I'll take your bet." You drain your glass at once. "Give me your five bucks, Owens."
You don't think it'll work. You don't think he'll let you distract him. You don't think it'll be this easy to stop his vile teasing. He's not the type of guy to let something go. He's not the type of guy to let anything go ever. But he looks at you and he grins at you and he trails his eyes over your face and then he opens up his wallet and pulls out five dollars without another word.
He puts the bill flat on the bar top.
But when you go to reach for it, he pushes his fingers down.
"The price just went up", he says.
You raise your eyebrows and let your hand sink again. Tyler is absolutely unpredictable. You should've known.
"The price just went up?", you repeat. He nods. "What more do you want to bet?"
He's closer now, closer all of a sudden. He's too close, close enough to make your breath hitch. He's looking down at you with that cocky, cheeky grin, with his weirdly green eyes, with his three day stubble and his generally much too symmetrical face. You can't do anything but look back up at him.
"A kiss", he says. Simple as that.
A kiss.
Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. He is. Truly. He's annoying and way too full of himself and much too presumptuous. Tyler Owens is the only man who would ever do something like this. The only man who'd bet a kiss on whether or not there will be tornadoes tomorrow.
Especially with that forecast.
The one that says a tornado is basically inevitable.
"Alright", you say. He may be Tyler Owens, the guy with an infallible instinct - but he is also Tyler Owens, the guy who's been doing his hardest to get under your skin. This time might not be any different. For all you know, he's bluffing to rile you up. "I'm in."
...
At eleven the next day, you're standing next to Dexter in resigned silence.
"I really thought today was gonna pan out", you mutter.
"It should have", Dexter frowns, tapping against the screen in his hands. "It should have worked out. The conditions should have been perfect. Everything's been building the last few days."
"But it collapsed this morning."
You turn your head and watch as Tyler comes to a stand next to you, arms crossed, eyes locked on the clear sky up above. He tilts his head to you and grins. Fuck, he's wearing his goddamn hat again. It's like he doesn't even try to be normal.
"Hey, weather girl", he greets. "Ready to cash out your bet?"
You shake your head at him. No, you're not giving up this easily. You never give up this easily.
"The day's not over yet, Owens. You haven't won 'til midnight."
...
You spend most of the next hours sitting in your truck bed, reading a book you'd thrown into your backseat weeks ago and had so far neglected. Lilly hands you lunch around two, Dani offers you a coffee around five and Boone pipes up here and there to joke about the wasted day. Around six, Dexter comes by to let you know they're calling it.
You still have another hour to go. By seven, it'll be too late to send your pictures anyway. But you want the hour. You need the hour.
You still haven't decided what to do about Tyler. About Tyler and his fucking bet.
He's been loitering the whole day, walking by, joking around with his crew, livestreaming a spontaneous q&a just because.
And the more minutes tick by, the harder it is to keep ignoring that you've most definitely lost the bet. Even though you do your best. You read, you check your phone. You stare at your radar. You stare at the weather forecast. You talk to Dexter and Dani and Lilly and Boone. You take a few pictures of the sky. Then you take a few pictures of Tyler, standing some feet away from his truck and looking out at the clouds.
It's only when two of three Tornado Wranglers cars are disappearing down the road, when Tyler Owens suddenly stands in front of your truck bed, that you put down your book and face reality.
"No tornadoes in sight", he says, instead of 'Hello' or 'How are you' like any other person would.
"There's still six hours left", you reason. Even if only one of those is relevant for your job today.
"You really want to wait out six hours to prove I'm right?"
"You're not right", you argue. It's fruitless, it's stupid, it's unreasonable. But... "Not yet, anyway."
Tyler raises his eyebrows at you, lets out an amused chuckle and leans against the side of your truck bed.
"Alright, so we wait."
You eye him from the side. He's fucking leaning against your truck, staring out at the sky, talking about six hours. Goddamn. He can't be serious, can he? His crew is already gone. They've disappeared into the descending sun and he's talking about waiting another six hours. Leaned against your car.
"Fuck's sake, Owens", you sigh, scooching over to the right. "At least sit down then."
You don't talk much at first. You just open your book back up again and try your hardest to ignore that he's even here at all, barely two feet away from you on the other side of your truck bed. If you stretched your leg, you'd hit him right in the hip.
It makes reading close to impossible.
Even though he's not doing anything at all. He's just sitting there, one arm propped up on the side board, that goddamn cowboy hat on his head and his feet hanging off the opened tailgate. It's almost worse that he's not doing anything.
That he's just sitting there and watching the sky change.
You give up on reading entirely when you realise that you've finished exactly five pages in half an hour. Instead, you put your book back in the car, pull out your bluetooth speaker and two water bottles and offer Tyler one of them.
You don't even ask him what music he wants to listen to. You just put on your country playlist and roll with it. By the twitch of his lips, you know he certainly doesn't mind.
Another half hour later, it's starting to get chilly and you're beginning to grow bored of the music. Tyler sitting next to you makes you fidgety, somehow, and you can't really enjoy the songs you usually love so much. So you switch to a podcast. You don't ask Tyler if he minds. He's free to go anytime.
Around eight, the sun starts to set, and the chill turns into an unpleasant cool. You hadn't really expected to be sitting out here so long. You're not prepared for the temperature to drop. You're wearing shorts, for god's sake, shorts and a top. It's summer in Oklahoma - you don't know how Tyler even manages to survive in his long jeans. You certainly wouldn't.
But now you're a little jealous, to be honest. He doesn't look cold in the slightest while you're fighting off shivers. You can feel your hands trembling already.
You really should've brought a jacket. But who brings jackets in 30 degree summer weather?
So instead, you just resign yourself to your fate and rub your hands along your arms. Anything to get some warmth into your body.
For the first time since you've sat back down, Tyler turns his head and looks at you.
"You're cold", he says, eyes raking over your arms and the goosebumps you'd gotten.
"Great observational skills, Sherlock Holmes", you deadpan, even though he doesn't really deserve that. He had so far left you pretty much alone. "A+ on that assignment."
Well, it's hard to break bad habits.
Tyler just chuckles, shakes his head and pushes off of the truck bed. You watch, eyes narrowed, as he walks back to his own car, opens up the trunk and- pulls out a blanket?
Your hands have sunken down to your lap all by themselves by the time he's standing in front of you again, holding out the blanket.
"For you, Watson", he grins as you slowly, carefully take the blanket from him. You mutter something along the lines of a soft 'Thank you' before you wrap the blanket around your arms.
Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. But he's also the very definition of "Tough on the outside, soft on the inside". Sometimes, you think the word 'angelic' works for more than just his divine looks.
Your eyes are glued to him as he sits back down next to you and looks out at the darkening sky with that signature grin on his lips, like he knows that you're watching him and enjoys it more than he should. That doesn't deter you though. For the very first time. You don't even stop staring when he turns his head back to you. You don't even stop staring then.
You just look at him until his grin crumbles. Until he's smiling that smile from yesterday night, the one that has your heart squeezing together and then exploding in your chest. You think you could stare at that smile for the rest of eternity and never feel sated.
"What?", he asks, his voice so soft it makes you swallow. Your lips part, but there's no words on your tongue, none in your throat. They're stuck in your chest somewhere, wrapped around your heart so tightly that you can't let them go even now. So you just press your lips together, wrap your blanket tighter around yourself and say:
"So I'm Watson, yeah?"
Your podcast is long forgotten by the time the sky turns dark. So dark that you make Tyler climb into your car and turn on the lights. You're comfortable in your blanket, you don't feel the need to move.
It's around ten when the blanket isn't enough anymore.
You tuck your hands underneath your top, but that only helps for so long. A few minutes later, you're trembling again, trembling even though you're pulling the blanket as tightly around you as you possibly can. Tyler raises his eyebrows when a particularly heavy shiver runs down your spine, one of those that come and go within three seconds.
"Come here", he says, shuffling in his spot and motioning for you to move over to him. You don't really think about it. It's more of a reflex as you fumble the blanket off of your body, scooch over to him, settle yourself against his side and sneak your feet under his thigh. He tugs the blanket back up to your chin, tucks it in behind your back and wraps his arms around you.
Tyler Owens wraps his arms around you.
And he's so fucking warm you literally almost moan. God, you hadn't actually realised just how cold you'd been.
"Damn, you're freezing", he notes as well, just as you nestle further into him and hum in agreement. He's like a living heater right now. You'd like to just crawl inside of him and suck up all his warmth. "You should've told me sooner."
"I didn't tell you at all", you mutter, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. He smells good. He smells so good. Earthy, musky somehow. You're tempted to turn your head and bury your nose in his shoulder.
Instead, you just satisfy yourself with what you can get. Fuck, he smells so good. He smells just like you'd thought he would, like country and rodeo and thunderstorms. He smells like falling into bed at the end of a successful chase. He smells like more. You want more.
You want more of Tyler Owens.
"Are you sniffing me?", he asks suddenly, but he sounds so amused you can't even bring yourself to feel embarrassed. You just open your eyes and grin at him, tilting your head so you can look up at him.
"What if I am?", you ask, if only to hear that breathless chuckle fall from his lips. Oh, those lips. You're in trouble. "Are you gonna call the cops on me?"
"I could never."
"Yeah, you better not, cowboy", you mutter, eyes dropping to his lips when he grins. He's so close. He's way too close. "There's like thirty things I could call the cops about on your channel."
His grin grows until he's showing off his teeth, glinting against the low light of the leds in your car. He's closer now.
"So you do watch our streams, weather girl."
His voice is so low and he's so close, so close. Your lips part all on their own. You haven't looked back up at his eyes in too long. Far too long. But he's so close, and he's so warm, and he smells so good.
"Alright", you whisper. His mouth is barely an inch from yours. You can feel every breath he takes. "I watch your streams."
And then your lips are on his.
Tyler Owens is the most annoying man you've ever met. He's cocky and he's smug. He makes your job harder than it has to be. He does everything and anything to get under your skin. But Tyler Ownes is the best goddamn kisser this side of the globe.
He trails his hands, his big, big hands, down your sides, pushes the blanket out of the way and grabs at your waist with just enough firmness. He pulls you onto his lap and rests his thumbs over the hem of your top. He breathes into your mouth and takes it slow. He doesn't care that you almost knock his hat out of the way when you try to wrap your arms around his neck. He just holds you tightly to him and lets you tug on his lip.
You honestly don't know how much time has passed when he pulls back, grinning an entirely new grin at you, hazy and euphoric.
"It's not midnight yet", he mutters, the slightest bit out of breath.
"I don't care", you mumble, drawing him right back in for another kiss. You think you might be addicted. You simply can't get enough of him. You can't get enough of Tyler Owens.
But then a thought strikes you, and you pull away with a grin that makes him raise his eyebrows.
You chuckle against his lips.
"If you feel it, chase it, right?"
2K notes ¡ View notes
weakformingyu ¡ 2 months ago
Text
Everything has changed | H.J.
Pairing: Han Jisung x fem!reader
Summary: in a game party you find out that your friend, Jisung, might have a crush on you and after that night you might have developed a crush on him too.
Warnings: Han is a loser, awkwardness, jealousy, pool sex 💅🏻, pussy eating, unprotected piv(don't do this at home), a bit of handjob.
Words count: Âą3,400
THIS CONTENT IS FOR +18 PEOPLE ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!!!!!!
A/N: I have some weird ass writers block right now(have been like this for months 😭) but I'm not dead, I'm still alive and thinking about a hundred fics a day, I just don't seem to manage to write them 🤓☝🏻 anyways, this fic was inspired in this post because Han Jisung got some crazy biceps going on here and I'm on my biceps biting era soooo 💅🏻(don't come for me if it's trashy, I haven't written in a hundred years)
If you like my writing don't forget to reblog, comment and like too. xoxo love yall
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“What do you think about Jisung?” Was the question Changbin asked when you chose truth in the game of truth or dare you were playing.
You smile sheepishly as all the boys stare at you excitedly and the girls have a little smirk on their lips, as if everyone knows something you don't.
“Hm, he's nice”, you shrug.
“You know that's not what he meant”, Ryujin says, raising a brow.
“Well, then be more specific”, you roll your eyes.
“Would you fuck him?” Karina asks, making the whole group gasp with her bluntness. Your eyes dart to Jisung, who's as red as a tomato, his bottom lips are stuck between his teeth while he stares at you anxiously.
“That's- I never thought about that, so I'm not sure”, you answer nervously. Seeing Jisung’s shoulders go down and a pout form in his lips.
“Then, there's your answer”, Karina shrugs, turning the bottle so someone else can go.
You were being truthful, you never thought about your friend in that way. You know he's handsome but you always avoid having second intentions with someone so close to you because you don't want to lose a friendship.
However, after that day and after seeing Jisung's reaction to your answer, you can't shake the feeling that maybe he's into you. You constantly catch his gaze lingering on you, when you guys are alone he keeps stuttering and even when your other friends are around, he treats you differently from them.
A few weekends after that night, Chan invites everyone to a get together in his house so everyone's going to sleep there after. Karina, Ryujin and Lia stop by your house in the early afternoon to get you so you can all go to Chan's together. When you get there, the guys are in the pool playing some sort of game, Felix and Changbin are on top of two floats, fighting while Minho is attacking Changbin with his water gun and Jisung is in the middle of both.
You stop in your tracks, watching as Jisung holds Changbins thighs, his biceps are deliciously showing and flexing as the older man falls out of the float and the younger one catches him, grabbing his bottom slightly but you can't help but wish you could be the one being grabbed by him like that.
Yes, you weren't lying that night when you said you had never thought about Jisung in that way. The problem is, that after you did, you couldn't stop. Everything he did from that night onwards caught your attention. His eyes on you, his lips, the way he smirks when someone says something dirty and he thinks no one's paying attention. The way every piece of fabric he wears hugs his body like it was made just for him. Your girlfriends are already onto you, they know something is off and they have the feeling that you finally opened your eyes to the puppy in love in your group of friends, but they decided not to say anything for now, afraid that they are going to scare you off and make you bury your new found attraction for Jisung deep in your heart, afraid to ruin your friendship.
You shake your head, listening to what the others are talking while you go inside to put your things in the guestroom Chan has prepared for you.
You spend the afternoon mostly just sunbathing while observing the guys joking around and other people arrive little by little taking your attention away from the pool.
While you eat, you can't help but notice a blonde laughing too loudly, catching your attention. She pushes Jisung playfully, throwing her head back, making you huff annoyed, you're sure what he said isn't even that funny.
“I'm gonna get some more beer, does anyone want something from the kitchen?” Jisung gets up, asking around.
“I'll help”, the blonde smiles, following him after some people ask for their beverage of choice and your eyes linger on his figure, as he walks away with the beautiful girl.
“Oh, y/n, can you get some more napkins for us?” Ryujin asks. You frown, you're sure you just saw a mountain of napkins somewhere but you have no idea where it went as you look around and can't find it.
“Sure”, you nod, getting up to go to the kitchen.
As soon as you enter the house you can hear the giggles coming from the kitchen. You take a deep breath trying to gather the courage to go inside and see something you're not sure you want to.
The girl is close to Jisung, too close for her own good, attached to his arm, practically hanging on to him. You scowl, feeling the blood in your body boiling, if you weren't sure about your feelings for your friend, you are damn sure now seeing as you're basically foaming at the mouth with the view right in front of you.
Jisungs gaze lands on you immediately when you enter the kitchen, his eyes grow wide and he takes a step back, detaching himself from the girl.
“Am I interrupting?” You ask, knowing well that you are and ignoring the glare the blonde gives you.
“Ye-” she tries to say, but is cut off by the man whose gaze hasn't left your figure since the moment you arrived.
“No”, he gulps, “what are you looking for?” Jisung asks.
“Napkins”, you say, tilting your head and leaning over the counter. Your elbows rest on the surface, purposely bringing attention to your chest.
“Just a minute”, Jisung gulps, turning around and opening the fridge. He takes out four cans of beer and gives it to the blonde. “You can go back first, I'll bring the rest in a minute”
She looks at him for a whole 10 seconds, stunned and then huffs, marching out of there.
“Your girlfriend is lovely”, you tease him, walking around the counter to get closer to him.
“She's not my girlfriend”, he laughs sheepishly, “we were just talking”
“I'm sure you were”, you say sarcastically and stare at him for a moment. “So? The napkins?” You ask.
“Oh, yeah! Yeah! Here”, he says, turning around to open the door to the cabinet on top of the sink.
Jisung’s arms look especially strong when he's flexing like that to pull the packages, it's something so mundane but it makes you blush the same way. He closes the door after and hands the products to you. “I'm going to get the beer for the others and follow you in a moment”
You nod, realizing that everything is different now that you know that you like your friend. You like Han Jisung.
You wake up the next morning feeling like shit, you tossed and turned in your bed until you finally fell asleep. You thought about all the things that could go wrong now that you liked one of your friends. What if things didn't work out between you two, you're sure it would cause a rift on your friend group.
Most people went home after midnight, Chan lets only his close friends crash in his house so you know everyone that stayed the night. Lia is by your side, yapping about what you're planning to do in the afternoon while you bite into your bread and try to not freak out when Jisung shows up in the living room. You keep avoiding his eyes, like you're guilty of something, and you definitely are, guilty of liking one of your friends.
In the afternoon you go out with Ryujin, Felix and Hyunjin, you all wanna walk around in the city and buy some clothes you definitely don't need. In the car you stare outside, your friends notice you're dozing around but prefer to wait for you to tell them if something is wrong.
After buying a new bikini, you just accompany your friends in their shopping spree. When you have no more room in the car for any more bags, you finally sit to get something to eat and while you wait for your order, you seize the opportunity to ask what's been on your mind in the last hour.
“Does Jisung like me?” You ask, you want to be sure that he doesn't want to just sleep with you.
“Where did that come from?” Felix frowns.
“That night I was asked if I would sleep with him”, you blush, “I was just wondering if he likes me or just finds me attractive”
Below the table, your fingers are pressing and scratching one another, you're nervous.
“I thought it was pretty obvious”, Hyunjin says, shrugging and getting elbowed by Felix.
“I don't think we are supposed to talk about that”, the younger one smiles awkwardly.
“Oh, please. It's not like the guy has made any effort to keep it a secret”, Ryujin rolls her eyes. “Clearly y/n likes him, that's why she wants to know”, your friend completes, laughing as your eyes grow wide. “It's not like you are making any effort to hide it either”
“Yes, he likes you”, Hyunjin says, ignoring Felix’s worries, “but he was very disheartened after that night when you said you never thought about him in that way”
‘It's a lie, but you don't need to know that’, he thinks to himself. Hyunjin is much more experienced in the love field, opposite to you and Jisung, so he knows you just need a little push for things to start working out and he doesn't mind being the one shoving you to each other.
“Oh”, that's all you can say.
That means maybe he doesn't like you anymore, right? That girl from the other night was very pretty, maybe she's his new type. She looked very girly and soft, you don't know if you would be considered any of that. Most importantly, she was clearly interested in him, maybe he wants to go after someone who doesn't reject him in front of everyone he knows.
You toss and turn once more in bed, Ryujin is sleeping right next to you and you're afraid of waking her up because you can't sleep. Your mind is so full of thoughts, a million per hour and you just can't stop thinking about how you ruined everything with the guy you like.
Even with the AC turned on, you're still hot and since you don't want to wake up anyone, you silently grab your bikini, putting it on before going to the pool.
You didn't expect to find Jisung there, he's just floating in the water with a pout on his lips and eyes closed, maybe he fell asleep?
You sit comfortably on the edge of the pool, putting only your feet in the water and watching Jisung. After a few minutes of complete stillness, the man opens his eyes, taking a deep breath and sinking into the water.
He comes back a few seconds later, back turned to you and you can't help but watch him. His back is muscular, broad shoulders with a tiny waist. When he turns around, he flinches, seeing you there, staring at him.
“I didn't mean to scare you”, you chuckle.
“It's fine”, he scratches the back of his head, “I thought I was the only one still awake”
“It's really hot, I couldn't sleep”, you say, it's not the whole truth but you're not sure if you want him to know that he's the reason you're still wide awake.
He nods, awkwardly looking around while his hands play with the water. Since that game, you both have been feeling weird near each other, you for discovering these new emotions towards your friend and him for being embarrassed that you knew about his one sided crush.
‘Maybe it's worth it’, you think to yourself. He already risked it all when he let you know about his crush, it's not the end of the world if he doesn't like you anymore, you just have to ask.
“About that night…”, you ask out of nowhere with a courage you have no idea where it came from. “Do you still like me?”
Jisung opens his mouth a few times, closing it right after, not knowing what to say. He takes a deep breath before answering.
“I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or anything”, he sighs.
“Do you still like me?” You frown, repeating your question.
“Yeah, I do”, he shrugs, embarrassed.
“I never thought about you that way before”, you say, seeing the pout growing in his lips, “but after that night I kinda did”
Jisung stares at you for a minute before speaking again.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I like you back”, you feel your whole face heating while you wait for him to react. You both are still far from each other, Jisung in the middle of the pool while you're at the edge. His eyes grow wide and his lips open like he has something to say but doesn't know how.
He starts coming close to you, your heart beating faster as the distance between you both lessens, until the man stops in front of you, his hands landing on each side of your thighs but still not touching.
“Can you repeat that?” He blushes, “I don't want you to say you like me back just because you pity me”, he bites on his bottom lip and you smile. You cup his face with your hands, bending down so you can kiss him. His lips are soft and he tastes good, sweet, like something you would never get tired of. His hands finally touch your skin, sliding to your thighs and squeezing the plushy flesh.
“If you knew me at all, you'd know I would never lie about liking someone”, you let go of him, smiling and giving him a peck before growing the distance between your faces.
“I just really like you”, he blushes, biting his bottom lip, finally letting his gaze travel down your body, going through your tits pushed up by the bikini top and going down your stomach, until it reaches your bikini bottom, his hands squeezing your thighs even more to the view of your body in front of him.
“Is that so?” You smirk, “show me then”, you smile, bending down to whisper in his ear. “Show me how much you like me”
Jisung doesn't waste any time, grabbing your face with only one hand and squeezing your cheeks, kissing you harshly. His other hand slides up, pulling the strings of your bikini bottom so he can untie the bow. He pulls away from you, leaving kisses down your neck, he has his hand down on your pussy, putting on a finger and watching your reaction to it.
You moan, grinding your hips against his hand so you can feel him deeper. Jisung has his mouth slightly opened, dazed with the little whimpers you let out when he adds another finger inside you. Your hands go instantly to his shoulders, nails burying in his skin while his other hand unties the top of your bikini, freeing your tits. Jisung watches them bounce with his bottom lip stuck between his teeth. He can't help himself, coming closer, his mouth closing on your left breast, his tongue playing with your nipple, making you moan.
His thumb slides to your clit and you bite on your bottom lip, trying not to make too much noise — at least not more than you're already making.
The man smiles, kissing down your stomach, getting closer to your pussy and you can feel his breath hitting the skin, making you tremble.
He licks a stripe between your folds, your hands fly to his hair pulling the locks. Jisung's hands slide to your thighs, pulling you more to the edge of the pool. Putting your legs over his shoulders and grabbing your ass so he can eat you out more intensely.
He looks like a man starved, the way he groans and moans just by feeling your taste. Jisung is so turned on he could come just by feeling your tight pussy in his mouth. The sounds you make are divine, he can't believe he gets to hear you like this, because of him, just for him.
“I- I'm gonna-”, you can't even finish your sentence, moaning the moment you try to say more than three words.
“Come for me, baby”, he stops eating you out just to say it, going back to work as soon as the words leave his mouth, he stares at you intensely from down there, working even harder and making you come undone in his mouth.
You take a few deep breaths, eyes closed. You can't believe how good he's at this and it also makes you a bit jealous, how did he get so good?
You watch as the man cleans around his mouth with his thumb, immediately taking the finger to his mouth to lick it clean and you hold the moan that wants to escape your mouth.
“Do you want to keep going?” He asks, not expecting you to but hoping that you do.
You nod, untying the other side of your bikini bottom, throwing the piece of fabric behind you.
You take Jisung's hands in yours, guiding them to your waist as you push yourself into the water. The man holds you, kissing your lips as soon as you are close enough to him. You can feel his hard cock pressing against your thighs when he pulls you towards him, wanting to feel your body on his and you can feel the heat growing all over your body again.
You slide your hand inside his shorts, grabbing his dick and making him whimper in your mouth. You bite on his bottom lip, your hand makes movements of back and forth, making Jisung bend down and bite your shoulder, trying to suppress his moan. You groan, it feels good having him so close to you, marking you as his.
You pull his shorts down all the way down, pushing yourself up and wrapping your legs around his hips. Jisung grabs his cock, rubbing his tip on your entrance, slightly teasing your clit.
“Are you sure about this?” He groans, trying to control himself, “after this I won't let you go”
You nod, closing your eyes in anticipation.
“Words”, he whispers, barely being able to hold himself back.
“Fuck.me.now”, you say with gritted teeth, opening your eyes to stare at him, holding onto his shoulders when he finally enters you.
You feel like heaven when he's inside you, your velvet walls tightening around him make him groan.
“Shit”, he cusses, biting on his bottom lip. “You're so hot”, he gets closer, kissing you deeply. His lips are so soft, you could never get over it.
Jisung starts thrusting, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you closer, fucking you deeper.
Your hands slide to his hair, pulling the locks while his lips go down your neck. He bites on your skin, sucking the area until it's red and you're sure it's gonna leave a mark. One of his hands goes to your clit, rubbing the bud, making you get closer to your climax.
“I'm close”, he says, his thrusts faster and his fingers working diligently.
“I'm close too”, you say, kissing him, feeling his thrusts getting sloppier. You feel the hot liquid being spilled inside you, but he doesn't stop. Jisung keeps going, putting more pressure into your clit until you're trembling around him. He whimpers in your mouth, his hips faltering and both of your breaths growing tired.
He rests his head on your shoulder for a few seconds, before moving away from you, staring at you like you're going to fight him and run off.
“I guess you like me a lot”, you smirk, watching him blush and smile.
“Do you wanna go out with me?” He asks, biting on his bottom lip.
“I thought you'd never ask”, you smile, giving him a peck on the lips. “I even already have the reason for our first fight”, you raise one brow, laughing as his eyes grow wide.
“What?”
“You are going to have to explain to me how you got so good at eating pussy”, you tease and he smiles.
“I guess I'm just a natural”, he shrugs, making you shake your head in amusement and kiss him.
You could get used to this, you definitely can.
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lyrefromthesea ¡ 6 months ago
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(Ignore this if this if u don’t want to do this) May I request something? I would love to see some masturbation headcanons about the pillars, while away on a mission for too long or just needy in general and their S/O is either ignoring/teasing them on purpose or just not available.
Take care and good night/day!
🌙
Male pillars x Reader - masturbating when you're away
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author's note: i think i messed up Rengoku's part, the reader is sitting right in front of him. i sadly don't have time to change it, but i hope you'll still find pleasure reading his part.
pairing: Tengen x reader, Obanai x reader, Rengoku x reader, Sanemi x reader, Giyuu x reader, Gyomei x reader
content warning: nsfw, smut
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Tengen:
• honestly, really doesn't masturbate often, he's together with four gorgeous people after all
• will only do it when he's on a long mission
• or after you teased him relentlessly, not because he's that desperate (he is), but to punish you.
the door was locked, your ear pressed against the wood separating Tengen and you. he had locked himself inside, not going to accept your teasing any longer.
"your fault, darling." he moaned, refusing to let you in. you could hear the slick sound of his hand moving up and down his cock.
truthfully, he would've almost felt embarrassed showing it to you, your teasing touches and words now made his irritated cock oversensitive.
"maybe next time you wanted to fuck, you could've just told me.." he groaned, the sound making warmth spread to your lower body.
yes, this was his way of punishing you, he just didn't expect to hear you moan on the other side of the door, deciding to make him taste his own medicine.
he squeezed the base of his cock tightly, trying to prevent himself from cumming. shit, he didn't know you would pull this kind of stunt on him.
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Obanai:
• not the kind of person to masturbate because he feels the need to
• probably started when he fell in love with you and wanted to feel your body against his
• would never tell you what happened behind closed doors
"s- shit.." he gasped, hand steadily stroking his dick. he didn't think his day would end like this, but his body reacted involuntarely when you two interacted.
it wasn't much, you just needed to get past him and squeezed your body past his. however, feeling your chest press against his own send his mind reeling.
he had immediately hurried home, locking himself up to take care of his problem. however, he couldn't stop thinking of you - your touch.
"i just want you.." he moaned, trying to let his frustration out. naturally, his movements got more rough, making his poor cock twitch from the overstimulation.
"damn it..!" he cursed, pulling his hand away with a whimper. he felt pathetic, but couldn't stop either.
was it so hard to just talk to you already?
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Rengoku:
• this man doesn't masturbate at all. (not really, but y'know what i mean.)
• weirdly enough, would probably do it if you ask him
• mutual masturbation? he'll do it
"i didn't.. i didn't think it would feel this good.." he panted, hand trying to match the rhythm you were using on yourself. his eyebrows were furrowed, sweat making hair stick to his head.
"do you feel g- good too?" he asked, lips parted - he felt like hyperventilating otherwise.
his eyes were trained on your hands, watching the way you were playing with yourself. something about seeing you like this - needy and desperate - managed to get him so much harder.
however, your hands faltered, watching him stroke his dick, making you slowly forget about moving. you were entranced by his moans, often harmonizing with yours.
"h- hey! you need to keep going t- too.." he moaned, snapping you out of your trance. you started moving your hands again, moaning at the familiar feeling of pleasure.
who knew masturbating like this could be this erotic? perhaps you should introduce him to other ideas in bed too.
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Sanemi:
• does jack off every now and then, it was like that before he met you already
• will always prefer sex with you if he has the chance, masturbating is his last resort
• mostly on missions, somehow always turns it rough
the message he received from you - delivered from a small crow - was meant to be innocent.
when you wrote about how you missed his touch, you refered to the times the two of you would sit together and cuddle or lay in bed. it's not your fault he interpreted it differently.
for him your message felt like an endless tease, clouding his mind with the thoughts of your shared intimacy. naturally, being the man he was, he was pissed.
"y- you little.." he groaned, burying his head in the pillow right next o him. he didn't need the people next door hearing him jack off.
"when i get back and your needy little ass won't be there- fuck!" his groans turned louder, the movement of his hand turning even rougher.
life was unfair, he was fucking horny because of you and you weren't even there to take responsibility for it. he could only thrust into his hand, pretending it was you.
"i'll fuck you, j- just you wait.." he spoke, already having forgotten that he had wanted to be silent. his thoughts were completely on you, imagining the way he would take you when he came back home.
and truthfully, you knew this was going to happen, didn't you?
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Giyuu:
• nearly never touched himself before meeting you, it skyrocketed with your relationship
• will not touch himself while he's away
• turns into a whining mess when you're the one going away
"[name], [name], [name]..!" he chanted, eagerly bucking into his hand. it's only been four days, but he was desperate to be in your arms again - to hold you in his arms.
he had tried to stay civil at first, going on about his day, but after the second night of being alone, he found himself sleeping on your side of the bed, breathing in the remains of your sweet scent.
he didn't want to get hard from it, he really didn't, it just happened. it was too late to stop when he realized what he was doing, already grinding against the mattress.
"i want to cum, i want to cum so bad.." he gasped, whines leaving his lips with every thrust of his cock. his knees were pushing his lower body up, left arm holding his upper body up.
he knew it was lewd, that others would probably laugh at him for behaving like this, but he was in need of your presence.
"gonna cum for you, gonna cum for you.. s- so hard.." he whimpered, not noticing how the front door opened.
you would return today, but blinded by his feelings, he had completely forgotten.
well, at least the sight of his shaking body would be a nice surprise for you.
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Gyomei:
• truthfully, nearly doesn't masturbate at all
• will probably do it while being away for a mission for a long time
• would probably feel guilty after thinking of you during such a lewd act
"ah, [name].." he muttered, strong hand wrapped around his shaft. his head was dipped down, eyes closed in concentration.
he had been masturbating for a while now, his cock twitching in hand. he was close, the sound of your voice lingering in his mind. the melodic sound of your laugh always managed to bring him closer to ecstacy.
"i hope you can forgive me for this, darling.." he groaned, trying to keep his voice down. he climaxed silently, knowing that people were staying in the room next door.
he felt his cum ooze out silently, his other hand covering his mouth. he had to stay in an inn for this mission, but other people had rented rooms in this place.
he opened his eyes slowly, his lips parted to take deep breaths. he knew you probably wouldn't mind, but he still felt guilt bubble up in him.
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nightingale-prompts ¡ 4 months ago
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Ghostlight -DCxDP prompt
Tim only had one mission tonight.
Investigate the abandoned Monarch Theater.
There had been reports of noises inside and lights turning on. The obvious answer is that a rogue is using it as a base and will eventually use it as a stage for an overly complex scheme. Perhaps it was Riddler, two-face, or most likely Joker, but they were all still in Arkham.
The problem was that Monarch Theater was on Red Hood's turf, and he didn't want anyone in the family there. It would have to be someone really stubborn and not afraid to make Jason mad to go there anyway. Fortunately, that was Tum favorite thing to do. As his little brother, that's basically his job.
Tim snuck into the back of the dilapidated theater to a crowded backstage with people scurrying around and preparing for a show.
None of them seemed to notice him as they focused on their tasks. Tim tried to get someone's attention when his hand phased through their shoulder.
Then the woman turned to Tim her eyes narrowed.
"What are you doing back here? Audience members are not allowed before the show. Are you here to drop off flowers or gifts? Please, hand them to an attendant and they will be delivered to the actor you want. You are not allowed to see the prince before the show. We don't want you disrupting his concentration. Please go back to your seat now." She rattled off as she shoved Tim off the stage and into the audience chamber.
There Tim saw a packed room full of....well ghosts. All of them waiting excitedly for the play to begin. But right in the middle was Jason eating popcorn like this was completely normal.
Jason looked up and saw Tim, they both froze.
Then the curtain rose and a silver-haired prince dressed in royal regalia stepped forward with his arms raised. The audience cheered and applauded at the sight of him.
"Welcome, my friends and followers to this week's show of "Walking on Stars". We hope you enjoy our heartwrenching drama tonight. We have two special guests in the box tonight. Martha and Thomas Wayne our dear patrons have joined us this evening. Let me be the first to welcome them tonight." The prince bowed.
Danny knew there was no stopping ghosts from invading the moral realm and a comprise needed to be made. Appeasing them is the easiest way to do it. They needed purpose and entertainment just like they did in life. After asking a few of his people what they wished for and adding some expansions to the realm Danny stared this project.
This abandoned theater in one of the most haunted spaces in Gotham was perfect to keep the spirits happy. Many people don't know this but ghosts loved theater. It is why theaters would sometimes keep two empty seats in the back just for the ghosts to watch and close on sundays and keep a stage light on just for the ghosts to perform for each other. This consideration goes a long way for the spirits and they have a deep appreciation for the arts.
Since then Danny has put on weekly shows of plays, concerts, and talent shows. It even drew the attention of the revenant that uses the area as his haunt. Out of respect, Danny invited him to come and he has his own reserved seat.
Tim ended up sitting next to a miffed Jason as they watched the show.
"Can't I just have something to myself?" Jason grumbled offering Tim his ghost nachos.
Jason didn't know why the food was so good but these ghost nachos were the best he ever had. Tim on the other hand couldn't taste them.
(I made this prompt just to use the phrase ghost nachos.)
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tellafairy ¡ 4 months ago
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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