#you cant fool me!

[aline-the-cat]

Is Wei Ying gay or european?

Dumb idea brought to you courtesy of this amazing video

Jin Zixuan was fidgeting, he looked once more at the Yunmeng Jiang table, then followed his eyes to the Gusu Lan contigent, taking notice of the two suspicously missing figures. Dammit! this was all Nie Huaisang fault! If he hadn’t pointed out earlier, Zixuan could’ve ended the discussion conference in peace, now, as it was, his too curious for his own good brain was torturing itself with the same damn question. It was stupid!! It was soo stupid! ... and yet

“Now those are the new positions for the eligible bachelors list, before we move on to trade, anyone has anything else to add?” A-Yao smiled to the ones presents. Jin Zixuan looked once more to the Jiang group, then to the Lan and finally he saw Huaisang, who only opened his fan and arched an eyebrow, as to say ‘You see what I was talking about?’. And just... he couldn’t. Stand. It 

“Is Wei Wuxian gay?!” he blurted out to the Jiang contigent. There was a horrifying moment full of silence when he realized what he had done... but one look at Huaisang confimed it... there was no going back now 

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just that....” Jin Zixuan was babbling, he could see Yanli laughing at him, he swallows and looks at the window, where he can see the cause of all this sitting comfortably with the other cause of this disaster “There! Right there!” he points, the other sect leaders turn to look at the sweet scene “Is Wei Wuxian a cut sleeve?” he wonders again 

“Young Master Jin, I hardly think this is the time to-”

“Of course he is not!” Jiang Wanyin almost jumped out of his seat, interrumpting whatever nonsense sect leader Yao was about to say “How can you think that?!”

“How can you not?!” the good think about Jiang Cheng being the one that first answered, Huaisang thinks, is that Jin Zixuan gets on his competitive mood and forgets everything else as he launches himself in the most ridiculous debate they’ve ever entertained “Have you seen his skin? have you seen the killer shape he is in?! Oh please he’s gay, totally gay!” Zixuan almost looked offended for some reason 

“Young masters, please-”

“Young master Jin could not be wrong however...” Nie Huaisang had to do a double take at Lan Qiren interrupting someone over this random argument “Those traits does not make someone a cut-sleeve, and considering his reputation, Wei Wuxian couldn’t be one, I say not gay” 

“But look at his coiffed and crispy locks!” one disciple of Yunmeng Jiang pipes up, and Jiang Wanying’s betrayed expression is hilarious 

“He does have silk translucent socks” Nie Huaisang says behind his fan, adding to the chaos 

“There’s the eternal paradox, look what we’re seeing...”

“What are we seeing, Lan Laoshi?” the younger Nie ignores his brother’s grunt to shut him up  

“Is he gay...”

“Of course he is gay!” Jin Zixuan insists 

“Or a rogue?” at Lan Qiren’s question the rest awes, Jiang Wanyin facepalms and the smaller sects want nothing to do with this, yet...

“Is he gay or a rogue?” for some reason almost the entire room turns to look at Nie Huaisang, and he gets it, if there’s someone who would know whether Wei Wuxian  would go rogue, it would’ve been him, in this case though

“Well don’t look at me” he shakes his head 

“Well the rogues cultivators are different from the sects, they take different sports than us and use shorter robes” one cultivator adds

“Depending on the context... young master Wei could go either way” Lan Xichen says quietly taking a sip of his tea, totally knowing about his brother’s infatuation with the boy 

As the discussion conference gets out of control, everyone starts asking the same question ‘Is Wei Wuxian gay or going rogue?’

“Hold it!” the matriarch of Yunmeng Jiang takes the attention of everyone, and while some are relieved thinking they are going to stop this idiotic nonsense, Yu Ziyuan says another unexpected thing “Have you all seen the brat’s condenscending smirk? Is not one that everyone can see on every cultivator present? Wei Wuxian is a metro-hetro jerk, he is not gay, I say no way!”

Next to her Fengmian is sighing and Yanli is barely containing her laughter  

“Look, we all saw Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji interact during the classes” Jin Zixuan takes his point back “With all that evidence I just say is safe to presume that he is a cutsleeve”

For the next minutes the room descends into chaos, especially with Lan Qiren screaming against the mere notion of Wei Wuxian being into his nephew. But as a conclusion is about to be reach and the rest of the espectators start a betting pool, one young cultivator attracts the attention 

“Hold it, hold it! If I remember correctly, Wei Wuxian flirted with Mianmian once!”

the mob turns to look at the girl 

“Is that true?”

“I mean... yes, he did”

“Dammit!” Nie Huaisang arches an eyebrow, surprised that sect leader Oouyang and his own brother would vote for the cut sleeves 

“Is this only about his style? A-Xian has a magnetic personallity, but his shoes are pointy toed” Jiang Yanli smiles innocently 

“Huh” Nie Huaisang hadn’t thought about that “So many shades of gray” 

“If he turns out straight though, I could be free after this” one female cultivator giggles in the back 

“So is he gay or going rogue?!” 

“Stop!” Jiang Cheng is official done with this bullshit about his shixiong “give a chance to crack the menance, I have an idea I’d like to try”

“Go on, young master Jiang, the floor is yours” Lan Xichen smiles, he hopes for a happy resolution for his own brother’s sake

“Wei Wuxian!” at Jiang Cheng’s call, the disciple runs to the room, Lan Wangji trailing behind “Help us understand something quick, you first ate a-Jie’s soup when you were..?”

“Nine years old!” he answers, a little bit confused but also happy to see his beloved shijie’s smile 

“Okay, and your first name is...?”

“Wei Ying!”

“And your boyfriend’s name is...?”

“Lan Zhan!” he says without thinking, a bright, happy smile on his face; when he hears the gasps around him he realizes what he said, turning to look at a furious Lan Qiren he tries to backtrack “I’m sorry Jiang Cheng, I misunderstood the question, you say boyfriend, I thought you say best friend, and Lan Zhan is my best friend” he says trying not to be kill by his former teacher 

“Wei Ying” Lan Wangji takes his hand softly “There’s no need to keep lying anymore” he turns to his brother in particular, but his voice carries “Wei Ying is a cut sleeve and we are thinking to go on as rogue cultivators”

“Didi!”

“Wangji!”

“Wei Wuxian!”

“Lan Zhan!” among the multiple voices claming for an explanation, Lan Wangji turns to the whining voice of his boyfriend 

“Wei Ying must stop lying himself as well, this is not a disgrace nor something you should be ashamed of”

“But... I’m straight?” he tries, nervously looking at both Lan Qiren and Madam Yu fumming on their seats

“You really aren’t, you weren’t yesterday at least” Lan Wangji shows him an almost imperceptible smirk that makes Xichen gasp and Wei Wuxian swoon “So, if I may, Xiongzhang, honourable leaders, I would like to have Wei Ying as my cultivation partner” 

“Lan Zhan!!” Wei Wuxian tackles the taller man in a hug as the room descends into chaos once more

He groans, but Jin Zixuan knows there’s no one else to blame but himself, he brought it upon himself. Except, not. Scratch that, it was all Nie Huaisang’s fault!!

[randyortonofficial]

“he has cat like instincts!” is wrestling commentator speak for “he is a very experienced bottom”

[kusuokisser]

saikis the kinda guy to get pissed off and live on venus for a week. like his dad makes him teleport to work one too many times and suddenly hes unreachable and the only hint is a note that says "on venus. be back soon"

[mic-check-stims]

Boop!

X-X-X X-X X-X-X

[pieflavoredartz]

(CLICK FOR THAT SWEEEET QUAILTY WOO HOO)

oooh cowboys yee harrr ⭐️

(og under cut ^^)

hii there ur lookin at the og! no catus tho sorry 😔😔

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it's polite to maintain eye contact!!!!

[lorebird]

In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[silvia-chorlette]

i just realized i didnt get to big boop or evil boop someone NOOOOOOOOOy

[spheredotorb]

some marx practice bc i cant seem to get him right

[chiquilines]

Its been ages,,, i missed them

[the-owl-tree]

those jokey not jokey posts of people using real cat images to represent controversial characters and being like "would you still punt him?" like yes nice try but bramblestar and crowfeather aren't real theyre a collection of words written by authors who piss me off so badly sometimes that i made a whole sideblog to complain about it. #haterlife

[akashis-waifu]

Akademiya scholar, Focalors

[p4nishers]

jinna told fitz his true love was one that he hadn't seen in years but loved all the same and would see again. very soon. and who fucking turns up in the very next chapter!??!THE FOOL. oh you got to be fucking kidding me

[gojuo]

there is not a single person on earth who can convince me that there wasn't a retcon happening concerning miquella's character (and his relationship with malenia) mid-development. no way.

[randomminty]

Not to be heretical in a Miku house, but any chance for some love for vocaloid Luka?

Shes my favourite so yes of course. heres luka <3