#you can see the weakness and potential for evil in a people and still want them to trend towards good and thrive as a result
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kawareo · 5 months ago
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Thank you lovely people for giving me a chance to ramble more about something (this is genuine, i mean no shade)
I find it really cool how every character has a parallel with Durge! In general every single romance pairing has reasons for why i think "yeah i could see them being good together", but I love those for Durge especially since I think about Durges way too much
Gale. Prodigy, Chosen of a God(ess) with a relationship that went far past god/Chosen, with him and Mystra being 'lovers' and Durge and Bhaal being 'family'. They were also both groomed to a degree to fulfill a role and have since fallen from grace of their gods.
Lae'zel. Raised in what is essentially a cult, having her entire world fall apart when she learns the truth about Vlaakith and Orpheus (while Durge's world falls apart when they learn about who they are in act 3). Cult has harsh and merciless punishments for those that disappoint, with death and beatings for githyanki and... Well. You know what, for Durge (looking at you, deleted bad ending).
Shadowheart. Having an equivalent of an electric collar on you that her God(ess) can punish her with (for Durge, that punishment isnt so immediate but Bhaal can literally stop their heart if he wants to). Amnesia. Having to choose between leading your cult or leaving everything you thought you knew and being an outcast. Depending on what you do with Shart, they also both kill their parents.
Karlach. Having your body changed without your consent, in drastic ways that you have no control over; the engine for Karlach, lobotomy + Slayer form for Durge (slayer in a more minor way but i will say that even in evil route you dont get a say whether or not you transform the first time). They both hurt people that get close to then without meaning to. They both have someone more powerful who sees them as property. Also, ties to Gortash.
Wyll. Daddy issues! And being rejected and outcast by your Father, wanting to prove yourself that you're still worthy. They were also both given shitty fucking names by their dads. They both at some point chose between power at the cost of freedom and freedom at the cost of literally everything; Wyll when he made a deal with Mizora, Durge at multiple points through the game when it comes to Bhaal. They both struggle with being tied to an evil, manipulative being that wants them isolated and weak and alone. Similar with Karlach, unwilling body modification, but specifically one that turns you into a 'monster'.
Astarion. 'Father'. 'Siblings' that you are in constant and brutal competition with, for momentary approval of your Creator who will never have enough of anything short but the world. Creator who's end goal very much includes you dying for him. Having no bodily autonomy as your Creator can literally violate your mind whenever. Sexual abuse. Struggling with bloodthirst! Your existence itself is violent, you can't live without hurting someone! (Bloodthirst for Ass, Urges for Durge)
Halsin. (Potential) guilt for something you have done, being pushed in a leadership position (Halsin at the grove, Durge with companions) that you may or may not be unsuited for. Being so, so alone, without anyone to care for your feelings. They both also have sides of them that they sometimes can't control, with the Bear and Urges, or more literally, the Slayer.
Minthara. A proud and efficent warrior that got one upped by a person they underestimated. Ties to Orin. Living as someone with the highest social status in a brutal, cruel society. Fanatic worship of an objectively evil god(ess) and then the betrayal that follows, waking up from quite literal brainwashing, seeing how your God(ess) turns against you.
And I could go on! Theyre all so good and interesting and depending on what path you decide to take, there is always something that Durge can relate to on with any companion! I tried to avoid repeating points or talking about my Durge specifically by just talking about what is set in canon for them, and there is still! So! Much!
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aspoonofsugar · 9 months ago
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Hi! Where do you think Alastor's arc is going? Redemption or villainy?
Hi!
Thank you for the ask, I loved watching Hazbin Hotel and I am happy I can write for the series :)
As for now, I think Alastor will spiral and hurt Charlie very badly, but he will eventually redeem himself (probably in a key moment). That is because Alastor is framed as Charlie's Jungian shadow.
What is the Jungian Shadow?
According to Jung, the shadow is what a person represses, both positive and negative. So, it can be one's violent tendencies, but also one's potential and energy. It really depends on the person.
So, why does Alastor fit the Shadow Archetype? Well, first of all:
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Alastor's powers make use of shadows. Not only that, but Alastor's own shadow is very expressive and shows the demon's repressed feelings. In other words:
On the one hand Alastor embodies the shadow, in the sense he represents what Charlie refuses to face
On the other hand Alastor himself represses his emotions behind a smiling face:
Alastor: Just because you see a smile, don't think you know what is going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing and ensures tha no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.
This is a good characterization for a jungian shadow because the shadow grows stronger and more dangerous, when it's ignored. So, the most one refuses to face their feelings, the most these feelings fester and grow powerful and dangerous. This fits Alastor both when it comes to others and to his own character:
He takes advantage of an emotional unstable and vulnerable Charlie to strike an abimguous deal with her. Similarly, he uses Husk's gambling addiction to steal his soul. He uses people's weaknesses an unsolved problems to take over.
He suffocates his feelings, which symbolically manifest in his powerful shadow-tentacles. His design and abilities are representative of his psychological coping mechanism, which is nothing, but repression.
As written above, though, the Jungian Shadow can be both negative and positive depending on what one hides. This duality is shown in Alastor's two roles in Charlie's arc:
He is a demonic archetype (even moreso than Lucifer, the titular devil), as he waits in the shadows for a chance to manipulate Charlie
He is an evil mentor, as he genuinelly likes Charlie, sees her potential and wants to guide her towards greatness:
She's filled with potential that I could guide
This isn't a contradiction, but complexity. Alastor is chaotic and mixes negative traits and intentions with positive ones. Just like what people repress can be both bad and good, usually at the same time.
This is clear when it comes to the Princess of Hell:
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Charlie to Alastor: What's that you said about smiles?
Charlie is similar to Alastor in how she represses herself behind her pollyanna persona and her smile. This doesn't mean she is faking her altruism and generosity, but that she is using these traits to hide something else:
Lute: The only reason you're still here is that Daddy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist's blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.
Deep down, Charlie invests herself in the Hazbin Hotel project because she wants to matter. She feels powerless and unimportant, as a result of her parents' neglects and of Hell's difficult situation.
So, our protagonist has strong self-issues that she refuses to face:
Husk: Princess is a bleedy heart who wants to solve everybod else's problems, 'cept her own.
That said, this isn't the only thing Charlie represses. The Princess of Hell hides:
Every negative emotions she feels, like her self-hate or her anger at Vaggie for hiding her true identity:
Rosie: How does that make you feel? Charlie: Just... angry? Because we share everything! Because she always supported me, and my ideas, and now I don't know whether or not that was just more of the lies... Oh no, that's a horrible thing to think! Do I think that? Yes! No? Kinda?
Her most violent and aggressive side, which makes so she is unable to make full use of her powers:
Vaggie: Well, I mean... You're the princess of Hell, but you don't really use the power that comes with that. Mybe you can, I don't know? Command a little more... authority. Charlie: But that's so mean.
In short, by repressing her negative feelings, she also represses her potential. It is only by facing herself as a whole, that she can fully grow and bloom into her most powerful and complete self:
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This is made clear in Charlie's quest in Cannibal Town. There, our girl is at her lowest, but she is pushing herself forward for the sake of her loved ones. She is trying to imitate Alastor by smiling, even if she is sour inside. However, things do not go well and it is only through her heart to heart chat with Rosie, that Charlie is able to pull herself together and inspire her people. Symbolically, she gets through them not with a 100% optimistic song like "Inside of every demon is a rainbow". Rather she opens her speech, by showing vulnerability and honesty:
It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut That you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces I guess what I mean to say is For the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne Gotta take charge and defend my only home And although I kinda feel unsteady Now I need to be ready for this
She affirms who she is and her willingness to grow into herself:
For the first time in my life Maybe I can be ready for this I can be the marshal leading the parade I can come into my own And I think I've always known My destiny could never be postponed When Adam brings the battle here I must appear like I'm ready for this
So, it is only by tapping into her own shadow that Charlie can be successfull. It is through expression and not repression that she can reach her goals.
What about Alastor?
He is the same, but so far he has been refusing to open up to others:
Angel: He's been here a while and he's still a big, creepy mystery.
That said, his time at the Hazbin Hotel has had an impact on him. He is forced to deal with others without killing them:
Vaggie: Pentious's eggs are all over the place. I need you to get rid of them. (...) Humanely!
He is shown cutting ties with a poisonous friend:
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He openly admits he likes the people of the hotel:
Alastor: Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed.
However, he still refuses to openly show vulnerability and ends up like this:
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Let's highlight that Charlie and Alastor are foiled in The Show Must Go On song.
Both stand in the ruins of their homes/dreams.
The Hotel:
I took a hotel, and I destroyed it I know I could have done better Better, instead of letting you down
The Radio Station:
This place reeks of death There's a chill in the air And I barely escaped being killed by a hair
And both decide not to give up and to keep pursuing their objectives. However, Charlie is framed positively, while Alastor negatively. Why?
Charlie sings about her feelings openly and is supported by her father and found family:
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Alastor sings about his pain privately and even then he barely shows his desperation before going back to his villanious mask:
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Symbolically the moment Alastor reunites with the Hotel Crew, he sings:
And we're doing it with a smile!
He is back in control of himself, ready to hide everything behind his neverchanging smile.
So, Alastor is both Charlie's negative foil and Jungian Shadow. As her negative foil, he is bound to spiral. As her Jungian Shadow he is bound to be saved. Why is that so? Two reasons.
The Jungian Shadow can't be killed, but needs to be integrated with.
The main themes of the series are redemption and love, so it is improbable that Charlie won't help the person, who co-founded the hotel with her.
If anything, it seems that our princess is progressively asked to forgive, inspire and see the good in more and more complex cases.
It starts with Angel, who willingly stays at the Hotel. It goes on with Pentious, who infiltrates the Hotel, but makes no real damage. Then Lucifer, whom Charlie loves, but that has been absent from the majority of her life. Finally, Vaggie, who breaks Charlie's trust.
Each conflict Charlie has challenges her in a different way and helps her discover herself and grow. She is bound to meet new struggles when Lilith becomes a broken pedestal and finally when Alastor betrays or hurts her. Still, she is going to forgive and to understand them.
Charlie is going to see the good in Alastor and to better understand herself as a result. As a matter of fact Charlie's journey is one where she is slowly discovering a world, which isn't black and white:
If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again
Just like people aren't black and white. Just like she herself isn't black and white. By saving Alastor, she is gonna save herself too. Together with the whole universe.
And what about Alastor? Well, he needs to work on himself, as well. He too must integrate with his shadow, who is embodied by a certain character:
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Husk is a powerful overlord, who lost his soul to a demon. Just like Alastor:
Husk: Big talk for someone, who's also on a leash.
Alastor and Husk are both on a leash. Still, Husk admits it and starts working on his shortcoming:
Husk: You're a loser, just like me
Alastor instead affirms his willingness to be in control and to pull the strings:
Once I figure out how to unclip my wings Guess who will be pulling all the strings?
Alastor is a loser, just like Husk. Just like all the characters in hell. Sinners vs Winners. And yet, he refuses to admit it. This is why he makes no progress. Similarly, he wants freedom, but enslaves others. This isn't going to work out, which is why I am fairly certain he will eventually set Husk free. Probably by doing so, Alastor will make the first real step towards his own freedom. He will start integrating his own shadow.
Thank you for the ask!
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mcflymemes · 6 months ago
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EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary
in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
the universe is so much bigger than you realize.
maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married.
why are you dressed all stupid?
you're just very bad at explaining.
how did i die?
he who loves the most regrets the most.
why would anybody want to kill me?
it's the way you look at me.
how do you think i feel?
you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences.
do you still want to do your party?
you are not unlovable. there is always something to love.
you think i'm weak, don't you?
can we just stop fighting?
you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything.
i'm tired. i don't want to hurt anymore.
i still want to be here with you. i will always, always want to be here with you.
if nothing matters, then all the pain and guilt you feel for making nothing of your life goes away.
we're all small and stupid.
i wasn't looking for you so i could kill you.
so what? you're just gonna ignore everything else?
i will cherish these few specks of time.
i've been on this earth just as many days as you.
i know better than to ask to help you.
so we'll talk later... like this afternoon?
you look really pretty right now.
you took everything away from me.
we're all useless alone.
i don't know what i'd do without you.
i only made enough food for three people. i'll have to cook more.
i always learn something when i hang out with the elderly. old people are very wise.
everything i do, i try to make things simpler, easier.
maybe you can audition, too.
i don't know how to be any fucking clearer.
i didn't mean that. it was a joke.
the only thing i do know... is that we have to be kind.
i know you see yourself as a fighter.
that's not a very funny joke.
actors are very poor.
it's nice to feel needed.
i was thinking, maybe after this is all done, we can go on a trip.
if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode.
you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain. hold this.
can't you see how wonderful it'll be? we can make our own way.
i'm here because we need your help.
sorry, very busy today. no time to help you.
i have spent years searching for the one who might be able to match this great evil with an even greater good and bring back balance.
i know it's a lot to take in right now.
i can see where this story's going, and it doesn't look good.
you're always trying to confuse us with these words.
i know you. with every passing moment, you fear that you might have missed your chance to make something of your life.
don't let anything distract you from it.
our time here is up. they are going to kill us.
i may be old, but i still know how to negotiate.
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lilislegacy · 8 months ago
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Ok guys this is somewhat of a controversial take on Jason Grace’s powers. You can tell I was nervous writing this out because I used capitalization lol. Please read till the end
I want to start by saying I love Jason Grace. He is such a cutie. I adore him. And he is a very, very powerful demigod. And he is totally capable of very evil things, just like Percy. This take concerns a certain ability that a lot of people seem to think he has, but I don’t think people realize how unrealistic is. (I mean people can still hc whatever they want, it just doesn’t mean it’s canon.) Okay, here goes
There is absolutely no evidence or reason that Jason Grace would be able to control the electricity in our bodies. And here’s why…
I know so many of you really love that idea, and justify it by using the logic that percy can control people’s bodily fluids, so since jason can control lightning, he could control neurons and action potentials. But here’s the thing: The reason percy can control bodily fluids is because bodily fluids, like saliva, blood, and tears are largely made up of water, so he can manipulate the content of those substances that is water. And water is water. H2O is H2O. Percy directly controls all water. That’s his power.
Jason, however, controls weather. Which means he controls clouds, thunder, wind, rain, and yes, lightning. But just because lightning involves electricity does not mean he controls ALL electricity. He controls rain, right? Rain is water. But jason does not control all water. Just rain. Because it’s weather. And before you completely ignore what I just said about rain, and argue “but if he can control the electricity that causes lightning, he could control the electrical signals in people’s brains and muscles,” I see where you’re coming from, but the electricity in lightning is NOT the same electricity in our bodies. Unlike water, not all electricity is the same. Water is a basic chemical compound, in all its forms. Electricity, however, is the flow of electric charge through conductive materials, which produces energy. And those materials and types of energy vary. There are different types. The two we are discussing here are static electricity and bioelectricity.
Static electricity is the accumulation of electric charge on the surface of an object. Did you ever do that experiment where you rubbed a balloon on your head and your hair stuck up? Static electricity causes lightning when there is a buildup of electrical charge in the atmosphere during a storm. When the charge difference between clouds, or between a cloud and the ground, becomes too much, it creates a sudden discharge of electricity, which we see as lightning.
Bioelectricity involves chemicals. It refers to the electrical signals and currents produced within living organisms. It works through the movement of charged particles, called ions, across cell membranes, which allows for communication between cells, nerve impulses, muscle contractions, and various physiological processes.
So here’s the thing. Even if Jason could control ALL static electricity, which likely is NOT the case, it’s not even the same type as the electricity that makes neurons fire. And like I stated, Jason/Zeus has control over weather and storm elements, which may involve electricity, but does not mean he controls all electricity.
Okay besties, now before you show up in my comment section aggressively defending jason and assuming I think he’s weak, let me clarify: I am not saying Jason is not powerful as hell, or that he could not do some creepy ass evil things. He definitely could. For instance, he’s shown through his control over wind that he can manipulate air currents in various ways. MEANING he could create a vacuum effect, and suck all the air out of a person’s body. Like… HELLO? He could collapse their lungs. Deprive their brain of oxygen. He could repeatedly suck the de-oxygenated air, aka CO2, out of their lungs, and then force it back in. Which would be torture. Death by slow suffocation. So using his control of wind and air currents, Jason could be terrifying as hell if he wanted to be, and could do unspeakable things to human beings. I’m simply saying that his ability to summon lightning has absolutely zero connection to the hypothetical ability of being able to control people’s neurons. They’re not even somewhat related processes.
Please don’t yell at me. I love Jason. I think he could be very very scary and evil if he wanted to. Him as a villain would be catastrophic, and I’m not doubting that in any way.
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disgruntledseagull · 1 year ago
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Oh I see I can't block people who ignore what I actually said and make personal attacks against me eh?
I am required to suffer fools?
How the hell were they speaking in honest good faith?
I mean for crying out loud if you are going to have some standards please apply them to people you agree with as well as those you don't.
I mean lets review these wonderful comments you're defending shall we?
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Let's see we have two incidents of putting words in my mouth, an attack on my intellect, and a weird homophobic flavored wish of personal harm.
This is honest good faith discussion to you? Really??
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Really?
New rule anyone with fighter jets and a nuclear arsenal is not allowed to be painted as the poor little waifish victim in any conflict.
No more bleeding hearts for a people with the capacity and will to turn the globe into a nuclear firestorm if they don't win.
It's just not a reasonable mindset to have about the holders of the Sampson Option, "oh poor them we must help"??
They literally threaten to nuke their neighbors in every fucking war.
It's how they bully the US and UK govts into materially supporting them.
This isn't even a matter of controversy, this is their established strat.
Israel is a nuclear bully state.
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windbelle · 1 month ago
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Perhaps Astarion looks like Cazador's friend
I have seen a lot of people headcanon Astarion looks like Cazador's former master Vellioth, which does make a lot of sense. However, I've always had another headcanon:
Perhaps Astarion looks like that friend of Cazador who was drained and killed by Vellioth.
Here are my thoughts:
In the 5e DnD Monster Manual, vampires have the nature of Dark Desire, and it says "Whether or not a vampire retains any memories from its former life, its emotional attachments wither as once-pure feelings become twisted by undeath. Love turns into hungry obsession, while friendship becomes bitter jealousy. In place of emotion, vampires pursue physical symbols of what they crave, so that a vampire seeking love might fixate on a young beauty. A child might become an object of fascination for a vampire obsessed with youth and potential. Others surround themselves with art, books, or sinister items such as torture devices or trophies from creatures they have killed."
And it seems evil aligned creatures in lore always see friendship as vulnerability and weakness. Vellioth punished Cazador for his connection to his friend by draining this friend to death, and taught Cazador to never let anyone be his equal. This friend must be really special to Cazador to lead to Vellioth doing this.
We know that Cazador is a pretty good student for Vellioth's lessons. He learned the lesson and killed Vellioth. And he's begun to see the friendship he once possessed as his vulnerability and weakness. He probably hated being punished by Vellioth for his vulnerability and he wanted to vanquish his weakness by torturing someone who could serve as a symbol of his vulnerability, someone who looks like his friend.
He might still have some special emotion, even some kind of love, towards his dead friend but his dark desire has turned his emotion into hungry obsession. So, when he saw Astarion, who looked a lot like his friend, Cazador couldn't help being attracted to Astarion but also he wanted just to possess him, belittle him, and torture him.
That explains why Cazador has this special favoritism towards Astarion in terms of torture and punishment. In fact, I somehow believe that Cazador chose all his spawns because he had some affection towards them all. But his feelings are totally twisted so that he would torture them and use them, while insisting they are a family.
I don't know whether it's true that Cazador sent the Gur to attack Astarion, but I think he did savor the moment when he turned Astarion because he now had the power to "save" him from death, and to turn him into his own possession.
His torture is not merely some sadistic hobby but quite calculated and cold according to his journal. It's only when Astarion got away that he showed emotion. It seems like he was subconsciously training Astarion as a potential successor, just like Vellioth taught him and trained him to be the vampire master of the Szarr family.
This reminds me of the 5e DND module "Curse of Strahd". In "Curse of Strahd" if you role play as Strahd, he has an objective to find a successor, because he thinks if he can find a successor to replace him then he can get rid of the eternal curse and get his freedom.
After you defeat Cazador without Astarion you can detect his thoughts, and you will find that he also thinks he is forever trapped in this immortal curse. He cannot rest and he's in grief. He wants to break the curse, and that's why he sought the profane ritual so that he could gain the ability to finally "live" like a mortal.
But apart from becoming the vampire ascendant, there's another way of terminating his grief to finally put him to rest, that is, to be destroyed and replaced by a successor.
In some way, he was subconsciously expecting Astarion to succeed him and replace him. I think his former master, Vellioth, knew it even more clearly that he would be replaced by Cazador somehow, and Vellioth was training him to do that by intention. Cazador was doing this similarly but more unconsciously. In his subconsciousness, either he would consume Astarion at last, or Astarion would end him and replace him.
Finally, and this is purely headcanon: according to Astarion's age, he was probably born after Cazador's friend was killed. If this friend was also an elf, then when Cazador saw Astarion, for a moment he might think Astarion could be his friend's reincarnation.
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bloop-bl00p · 3 months ago
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Re-imagining the Extermination
TW: There’s like one image I could consider disturbing and such
Remember when back in the day before the series aired how the Exorcists were so hyped? They were this unavoidable threat looming over the heads of the characters, a reminder that if Charlie doesn't succeed in redemption, all of these characters will have to go years and years preparing themselves for a massacre and inevitably die a second time.
Then when we get to see them in the show a bit earlier than expected here how they act…
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Maybe I hyped them too much.. I expected them to be fierce soldiers led by Michael or something.
The thing is, we don’t know what are the Exorcists yet, Adam said he named Vaggie (and probably the rest of the girls) but she’s still Salvadoran, which is really confusing. Hopefully, we’ll get more answers, my personal guess is that Viv is going to go with fan theories that they are humans. That can be interesting but if they are that doesn't explain why they thought themselves invincible.
I created something completely different, basing myself on multiple religious texts as always, I intend to make more posts about my rewrite of characters I drastically changed, and possibly one about Heaven. It’s gonna be long because I crammed a lot of information.
I. Why kill sinners?
Souls are powers, the more it sins, the stronger the 7 Deadly Sins get.
Hell started traditionally as a pit of fire and desolation, when The Seven Sins discovered they could get stronger through the humans, they completely reshaped Hell’s society and influenced Earth with the help of Hellborns.
Mammon is pretty much the reason why we live in a capitalistic society, as Greed is at the center of almost everything (The love for money is described as be Root of All Evil in the Bible.) So his influence on Earth was mirrored to create the Hellaverse we all know.
In Hell, Hellborns, rather than physically torture the Sinners, tempt and trap them in toxic lifestyles. Back in the day, Sinners could have access to the other Rings and indulge in a wide range of vices. Heaven noticed it and reacted immediately to prevent Lucifer’s rise in power and avoid a potential war. They came up with the Extermination and wisely decided to set this up at a very specific time.
You see, around the 16th century Lilith was expecting and she reached her 5 months of pregnancy for the first time in 6000 years. She was cursed by God after fleeing Eden, and all of her pregnancies usually end in miscarriage. Furthermore, she suffered ten times harder than any other woman.
So that's when they forced Lucifer to comply with their deals. He didn't want his wife to be in the middle of a war so he accepted. The deal essentially was that Angels could come to his kingdom once a year to kill as many people as possible, but if they dared to attack a Blue Blood he would bite back.
To diminish the amount of destruction that would be caused by the Exorcists all Sinners are confined to the Pride Ring as they are the main targets. But between us, if you’re a Hellborn and find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time you’re dead.
Royalties are the only ones spared from the massacre, they picked a relatively weak type of angel to do the dirty work so the Exorcists aren’t even remotely strong enough to kill one of the 72 Lesser Keys, only lower ranks demons and sinners.
II. The Exorcists
The Watchers:
Over the few angels sent to observe humans' expansion, a considerably large amount of them have been exposed to Lucifer’s deviant ideologies and were inspired to follow The Traitor’s ideal and defy God’s plan. 200 of them put these doctrines into motion and their Heavenly Light got tainted by one sin, Lust.
They fell in love with the women on Earth and shapeshifted to marry those they lusted after, causing the birth of wicked creatures between Celestial beings and humankind, the Nephilim. Their second sin was to reveal forbidden knowledge to be viewed as deities unleashing Chaos and wars between humans (you know when we fight to know which God is stronger/real).
God put an end to this and sent Archangels who banished these 200 Watchers to Hell. To ensure that the rest of humanity wouldn’t be corrupted by their children, God flooded the Earth-saving few humans deemed as virtuous (Noah and his family weren't the only ones.)
The Watchers that remained were ripped off a considerable amount of their powers. They got disfigured to ensure the failure of any tentative seduction, and each of them is kept on a tight leash in Heaven unable to access most parts of Heaven without authorization and supervision.
The Birth of Exorcists:
Misael grew disdain for those of their kind who rebelled against the Lord as their trust and love for the Almighty was endless.
This loyalty permitted them to become the next leader of the Watcher after the betrayal of the former chief. The Watchers, alongside them, grew all bitter toward demons and their sinful siblings, a bitterness that turned into hatred for their peers.
When Misael heard the words of a possible uprising, they proposed an annual extermination as a last resort and a way for the Watchers to pay for the sins of their siblings. Which got accepted.
Few details about Misael:
→ Miseal means normally ‘As God is’ but my thought process was that Misia in Greek means ‘hate’ and they hate demons. I just added the ‘El’ syllabus of God.
→ Their voices are surprisingly soft, a bit like Blue Diamond, it almost make you forget that they are about to slice your throat open. They have this habit of reassuring sinners saying that their suffering is coming to an end.
III. Appearance:
Exorcists are lepers and constantly in pain, they were removed from their ability to shapeshift.
Today Leprosy is curable but before modern medicine, it was considered a divine punishment since they had no treatment. There are instances in the Bible where God punishes people by turning them into a leper.
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They usually wear bandages to cover their face and this isn't even near how horrible their condition can get. The entirety of their body is sick and they wear large loose clothes to cover them, below the fabric they are still covered with bandages. The halo is in reference to the Crown of Thorns of Jesus, the Romans put it on his head as a form of humiliation. The Watchers used to have normal haloes but they aren't worthy of it anymore.
They are very much recognizable in Heaven as they are the only ones wearing black, to signify their loss of purity and kinda to represent their mourning for their Fallen siblings and the souls they are taking in Hell.
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During the Exterminations, they wear silver masks, and Misael wears a golden one since they are the leader. They withhold close-range weapons as a reminder that they are taking lives.
The sun in the center of their armor is a reference to God (a symbol I created for my story) it’s in reference to the Morningstar trying to overcome the Sun.
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I got lazy, I haven’t drawn anything in months, so I’m probably gonna re-draw this. I forgot a few details.
IV. Details
→ Each beginning of Extermination is announced by the sounds of Seven Trumpets playing at the same time.
→ They have to make the death as quick and painless as possible.
→ A list of names and ways of identification such as pictures is given to each of the Exorcists so they know who they should approach with caution. They can die, it may not be common but it’s still a possibility. Usually, they target Overlords as their activities in Hell make people sin more and more.
→ They have no right to kill anyone belonging to the Royalty, they don't have enough powers to. Any demons they encounter on the street however must be killed regardless of their status as hellborn or sinners.
→ They can affect technology, Hell has no natural light source as it’s the only place Gods do not pay attention. During the Exterminations, the electricity is completely shut down, the only source of light is the Heaven portals which disorient the sinners because it’s blinding.
→ Exorcists are killable, but usually when faced with 12-foot soldiers you back away. While they do wear armor that completely covers them if they get hurt somehow, they’ll regenerate unless it’s an angelic steel.
The only part that isn't protected is the base of their wings so with the right weapons you could cut it. Guns are also a possibility but their wings are big enough to be used as a shield (76 feet, I did the math.)
→ It’s rare but some Exorcists lose their weapons when facing sinners who fight back.
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bri-the-nautilus · 5 months ago
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Come To the Dark Side, We Have Hot Guys: A Star Wars Story
Spoilers below for S1 of Ahsoka and the first six episodes of The Acolyte.
I'm writing this with The Acolyte most of the way through airing its first season, with episode 6 having released earlier today. Say what you will about the show, but it's really brought out a lot of the uglier sides of the Star Wars fandom. Everyone and their mother has seen videos or Reddit threads dunking on the Critical Drinker or SWT and their mouth-breathing misogynist audiences at this point, so I don't feel particularly compelled to retread that ground. Instead, I want to talk about the... other side of the fandom, the hypocrisy therein, and how we're all being played for absolute fools by the creative team at Disney Lucasfilm.
Yes, this post is about Qimir.
Now I want to say that I have no problem with villain simping/shipping. Far from it. Most of my posts on this account are me simping for Shin Hati (we'll talk more about her later) or various Soulsborne bosses. Hell, my mutuals and I have a running joke about me having a weakness for evil blonde women. While I personally am too gay for my own good and couldn't care less about men as a concept, I absolutely see the appeal of characters like Qimir and Kylo Ren. I absolutely get why people thirst over them and love making fandom content for them. I think Qimir/Osha has the potential to be a really fun ship, actually. The point I'm making here is not "simping for these characters is wrong and bad," and I want to make that crystal clear before we continue.
That said, let's talk about Qimir, and how the landscape of the show and its surrounding discourse has changed since his reveal. Again, I'm ignoring the chud sphere here, partly because their little corner of the Internet has remained remarkably stagnant since then. The podcast bros still think it's woke, fucking Shadiversity is still whining about fight choreography (which as someone who actually has done HEMA/stage combat, Shad annoys me to no end, but that's an entirely separate can of worms), and it all seems to be business as usual over there. No, the most marked changes have been on the Acolyte-positive end of the fandom space. Here's what the top posts in "hashtag TheAcolyte" on Twitter look like tonight:
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You get the idea.
Again, no hate to any of these people. This is tumblr ffs, we've all engaged in a little simping for a morally dubious hot person. I love seeing fans having fun engaging with something, and again I kinda dig the Osha/Qimir ship.
Anyways, if you were around for the Acolyte-positive discourse before the Qimir reveal, and especially the show's marketing and the reponse to that, you'll have noticed a marked difference.
Fans quickly began to see The Acolyte as " the gayest Star Wars ever." Showrunner Leslye Headland is an out lesbian, and her wife was cast as Master Vernestra Rwoh. Archetypical girlboss Carrie-Anne Moss was cast as Master Indara, immediately drawing comparisons to her role in the Matrix movies. Leads Osha and Mae Aniseya are played by the nonbinary Amandla Stenberg. The lesbian witches of Brendok were talked about in press releases before the show aired. Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon) stated in an interview that she portrayed the short-haired, serious Theelin as having a crush on Osha, something that fans were picking up on in their first interactions in the premiere before Keen even gave that interview. While Headland said in a post-premiere interview that she didn't set out specifically to make "a capital Q Queer show," it's an objective fact that no Star Wars movie/show has had as much potential in that area, and fans (especially the queer community) took notice. (For what it's worth, in the same interview Headland commented that she was proud of creating something that so many queer fans identified with.)
The show came out, and Master Indara was killed off in the first sequence, which I'm honestly fine with. It was a good scene and works on a lot of levels. Headland's aforementioned interview came and went. Episode three aired. The lesbian witches turned out to be even gayer than was previously thought possible, and people ate that shit up while the Critical Drinker's brain suffered a major cascade failure. Jecki became a runaway favorite in the premiere and episode four, as did lovable himbo Yord Fandar and the wise, paternalistic Master Sol. In Acolyte-positive circles, this was basically how it went. People thought Brendok was cool, the Yord Horde became the show's biggest social media sensation, Jecki and Sol cultivated devoted followings alongside Osha and Mae, there were a wealth of different ships involving various combinations of Jecki, Yord, and the twins... you get the idea.
Then episode 5 happened.
The writing was really on the wall when the Brendok coven was abruptly wiped out. Introducting such an interesting (and queer) Force-wielding culture only to exterminate them in the same episode was certainly a choice that somebody made. But episode 5 was a shock to the system for many fans, as the show's resident Sith revealed himself and killed Jecki and Yord in some of the most brutal recent onscreen deaths in Star Wars. To be clear, I think this was a great sequence. Two beloved main characters being suddenly and gruesomely killed off was a masterfully executed shock to the system, especially after viewers were lulled into a false sense of security by all the redshirt deaths in the previous scene.
This, understandably, completely changed the landscape of the Acolyte fandom. Virtually overnight, much of the simping and shipping involving Jecki and Yord dried up, and once the dust had settled as far as the "rip blorbo, gone too soon" posts went, what remained were the usual Sol/twins offerings and a wave of Qimir hype. Which is understandable. He's a badass emo Sith boy with a cool helmet who brutally murdered fan favorite characters in front of us and has palpable tension with the female lead. Who wouldn't love... wait a minute.
This feels familiar somehow.
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But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?
And just like that, "the gayest Star Wars" is all about the (straight) sexual tension between an edgy, murderous Sith boy and a light-side girl plagued by dark thoughts whose friends said boy just killed. This is all eerily similar to how the Sequel Trilogy focused on Rey and Kylo while abruptly dropping Finn and Poe's character arcs. Even the fandom discourse is the same. I mean Reylo was so ubiquitous back in the day that it became a derogatory catch-all for good girl/evil boy shipping. Multiple authors now have either gotten their initial start/fame writing Reylo fics, or straight up published legally distinct Reylo fiction after the fashion of Netflix's After. You had the occasional person piping up to say "hey they kind of just left Finn and Poe hanging after TFA, it would've been cool if they got together but at the very least don't relegate them to being side characters/comic relief in separate story threads," and that was it. The same thing is going on with The Acolyte now, only the sequel trilogy wasn't marketed on the strength of being a queer story by a queer creative team. The Acolyte is, which makes it all the more baffling that by the midway point of the first season, all the gays have been buried and the show seems to be heading straight for Reylo 2: High Republic Boogaloo. And the fans are eating it up.
As an interesting aside, I think it's an interesting exercise to contrast the Kylo/Qimir pattern with the broader fandom's treatment of Shin Hati (told you we'd circle back to that), and the ship between her and Sabine Wren. On paper, Shin is very similar to Kylo and Qimir. Villain? Check. Edgy-looking armor? Totes. Emotionally damaged/stunted in some way? Sure looks like it. Tension with the heroine? You betcha. If anything, the only major difference is that Shin isn't as evil as the others. Compare her actions in Ahsoka (clearing out part of a light cruiser with Baylan and making repeated attempts on Sabine's life) to Kylo (oversees multiple war crimes, kills his fan-favorite dad) or Qimir (orchestrates the murders of several Jedi before brutally executing two fan-favorite characters). She's definitely bad, but I struggle to see her as on par with Qimir, let alone fucking Kylo, in terms of evilness.
Which makes it all the more interesting to me that the Shin/Sabine ship has received so much more mainstream skepticism/criticism than the Osha/Qimir or Rey/Kylo ships. "They have no chemistry!" "She's an evil murderer!" "She's a blank slate!" "Sabine is taken!" I may be a touch biased, but from where I sit a large part of the fandom, even the ostensibly progressive side, seems to look down upon Shin/Sabine shippers while swooning for heterosexual variants with far more evil villains.
This isn't a monolith, and I can't stress that enough. I'm not trying to start shit here. Villain shipping is awesome. We support women's wrongs in this house. You do see the occasional person decrying Reylo or Osha/Qimir as toxic, which I think is fairly unnecessary. Like yeah, maybe it's a toxic dynamic, but these are fictional characters. For these specific characters, part of the crowd appeal is the toxic badboy side of things. I don't think we should really spend much energy attacking any fictional ship (between adults, mind you) as toxic, which is why it puzzles me that an as-yet-unconfirmed lesbian ship in a niche show receives such a large proportion of this sort of criticism compared to the canon relationship between two main characters of a blockbuster trilogy.
At the end of the day, this whole affair has been rather sobering for me on both Disney Lucasfilm and the Star Wars fandom. For all the support the Shin/Sabine ship has received from Ahsoka cast members Ivanna Sakhno (Shin), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger, the other character people like to ship with Sabine), and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka), I'm rather sour on the prospects of it becoming canon. The sequel trilogy dropped the ball on what many saw as a promising chance for an MLM romance between Finn and Poe in favor of trotting out the "why do good girls like bad boys" dynamic, and The Acolyte, "the gay show" overseen by a lesbian, has seemingly shifted to center a similar dynamic after killing off most of its prospects for a queer relationship among the main cast. Simply put, I think that Disney as an international company based in the frighteningly divided United States is reluctant to commit to anything beyond lipservice in terms of LGBT representation in their movies/shows, which again doesn't leave me feeling optimistic about WolfWren's canon potential. And the fandom takes the bait. People love the damaged evil badboy/good girl dynamic, and when the queer fandom suggests the possibility of a queer ship taking center stage in a show with no other extant relationships, even the more progressive side of the fandom tends to either ignore it or actively push back on its basis in reality until Disney Lucasfilm inevitably puts the kibosh on it. The amount of times I've heard people dismiss WolfWren for the same reasons they now like Osha/Qimir and liked Reylo (before that ship was fleshed out/canonicalized, anyway) is ridiculous, but at the end of the day you kinda feel stupid for expecting anything else. Again, I think Qimir is a cool character and I'm as much of a sucker for villain romances as the next girlie, but seeing how easily the fandom lets dangling heterosexual carrots lead it away from Disney Lucasfilm's broken promises of queer rep is a sobering ordeal.
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genshinluvr · 1 year ago
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The Soul Puppet 2
Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader
Summary: After the incident with the two ancient gods possessing your body and using you as a vessel, you were left to battle for your life as you're hanging by a thread. The Adeptis soon infuse you with Adeptal energy to save your life, only for it to go downhill from there.
Note: I didn't plan on making a part two of The Soul Puppet because it ended perfectly where it did, but some people wanted a part two. The reader was supposed to die in the first part, but because of the miraculous Adeptial energy, they're alive but are still suffering. This fic is shorter than the first part because there's not much happening in the story other than the aftermath, sort of. There isn't much angst in this fic. It's almost nonexistent. Anyway, I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of vomiting, mentions of possession
Word Count: 7.2k
Read Part 1 of the Soul Puppet: [HERE].
Ever since two ancient gods took over your body, you have been in the worst conditions the men have ever seen. You were barely conscious, you barely ate, and all you would do was sleep, sleep, sleep. You were so fatigued that you couldn’t take care of yourself, nor could you get yourself to speak. You received twenty-four-hour care from the men and were under constant surveillance. 
Scaramouche stands beside Tighnari, watching the man scribble something on the paper. Scaramouche frowns, seeing your pale, almost lifeless body tucked beneath the blankets. At the same time, Kaveh sits beside your bed, wiping away the thin layer of sweat from your forehead with a handkerchief. You’re shivering and letting out occasional weak coughs.
“Do you think they could survive this?” Scaramouche mutters to Tighnari.
The scratching of the pen ceases as Tighnari looks at Scaramouche. Tighnari hums, lightly tapping the pen on the clipboard. That is something Tighnari can’t be sure of due to your conditions. You’ve been suffering for so long, and the longer the men care for you, the more it feels like they’re torturing you by keeping you alive. 
Tighnari sighs, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know. Their body has taken such a beating that I’m not sure if I want them to be alive or not,” Tighnari says.
Kaveh gasps, dropping the handkerchief on your pillow from shock. Tighnari and Scaramouche look at Kaveh, who’s staring at Tighnari in disbelief. Kaveh stands and walks to where the two men are standing, glaring at the dendro user. 
Kaveh’s face pinches with anger before poking Tighnari in the chest. “How could you utter something like that!? Do you want [Y/N] to be dead?!” Kaveh demands, clenching his fists so tightly that his knuckles turn white.
“He’s not implying that, Kaveh. Calm down,” Al Haitham interjects.
Al Haitham enters your bedroom with Dottore and Dainsleif following behind. Dottore begins checking on your condition while Dainsleif and Al Haitham stop before Kaveh. Kaveh runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head. Kaveh huffs and returns to his spot beside your bed, picking up the handkerchief on your pillow and continuing to wipe the sweat from your forehead.
“They look even worse than before. Do you really think the sigils will keep the evil at bay?” Dainsleif murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest.
Dottore chuckles bitterly. “Evil at bay? The last time I checked, the two ancient gods are no longer using [Y/N] as their vessel.”
Dottore grabs your arm and begins feeling around your arm for a vein. Dottore wraps a tourniquet around your arm, pulls a syringe out, and draws your blood. Since the incident, Dottore was tasked to draw your blood once a week to examine it under a microscope. He has to make sure there’s nothing toxic in your blood that could potentially kill you. Even though you’re kind of on the brink of death.
“How much longer do you think [Y/N] can hold on? Every day, when time passes, they’re slipping from our fingers,” Diluc says, leaning back on his seat from the corner of your room.
No one replies to Diluc's question. Everyone is afraid that Diluc's correct— how you're slipping from their fingers. It's hard to determine how your fate will play out. You're either going to live or ultimately die in the end. You're so weak you could barely feed yourself and would go in and out of sleep. They didn't want you to suffer any longer, so they put you in a medically induced coma for your body to heal from the damages caused by the two ancient gods.
At first, everyone was against you being placed in a medically induced coma. Doctor Baizhu recommended it, and almost everyone shot down that idea. After hearing the green-haired doctor's explanation of why it'd be a good idea, everyone reluctantly gave in and agreed to put you in a medically induced coma. While your body is trying its best to heal, putting you in a coma will reduce your suffering, and it's all the men could ever want— for you not to suffer. 
A knock coming from the door pulls everyone out of their thoughts. Childe and Doctor Baizhu step into the room, nodding at each person in your room. Zhongli soon enters the room with other Adeptis following behind. Today's the day when the Adeptis survey your situation. While the Adeptis didn't want to interfere with the path where your life was heading, the sheer desperation from Xiao and Zhongli made them give in. 
"How bad is it? [Y/N]'s condition," Xiao mutters, watching the other Adeptis surround your bed while gazing at your unconscious body.
Cloud Retainer hums, turning to look at the men in the room. "Their condition is very grim. I don't understand how a mere mortal like them can survive this long," Cloud Retainers says.
Moon Carver huffs, shaking his head. "It is better to put this mortal out of their misery. Keeping them alive is already torture as it is," Moon Carver states.
Childe frowns, crossing his arms over his chest, and narrows his eyes at the Adeptis. "We're not giving up on them. With all due respect, if you would rather let [Y/N] die, just say you're lazy and don't want to save someone precious to Morax and the Conquerer of Demons," Childe retorts, gesturing over to the Yaksha and former Geo Archon.
The Adeptis stare at Childe, not saying a word. Zhongli and Xiao give Childe a subtle glare as if they're telling him to keep quiet or else he'll make it worse for you and everyone else. Mountain Shaper sighs while Ganyu gives the men a sad smile. There's nothing they can do about your condition. While Adepti magic can resurrect the dead, it's dangerous for humans such as yourself. Your soul— or any human soul— isn't as strong, and the Adeptal energy can overwhelm the soul. It wasn't because they didn't want to save you. Suppose you're exposed to Adeptal magic for a prolonged period. In that case, it will not only kill you but drive you to the brink of insanity and make you go berserk.
The Adeptis want to prevent that from happening because they do not want to see you, the former Geo Archon and Conquerer of Demons' significant other, suffer and die a painful death. They have never seen Zhongli or Xiao care about someone on a much deeper level. While they held their close (deceased) friends to their hearts, none of them can come close to the level Zhongli and Xiao held you. 
Ganyu clears her throat. "We can infuse [Y/N] with Adeptal energy, but we have to be very careful about how much is infused into [Y/N]'s system," says Ganyu, placing her hand over your cold, clammy hands.
"Please step out of the room while we treat [Y/N]. It can take some time, and we need a minimal distraction," says Madame Ping.
The men look at one another, hesitant about leaving you. While you're in safe hands, the men don't want to take their eyes off you in case anything happens. Seeing you get hurt and be away from you is the last thing they want to deal with. But because Cloud Retainer is starting to lose patience, the men reluctantly agree and begin leaving one by one.
Ganyu smiles at them reassuringly before closing the door once the last person steps out of your room. Once the doors have closed, everyone stands in silence, trying to listen to the slightest sound coming from your room. Disappointingly enough, there was no sound, and even if there were sounds coming from the inside of your room, they were advised not to listen in—gold lights spill from the gaps of your bedroom door. Gorou fiddles with his thumb, gazing at the lights anxiously. The Adeptis have started their process, and all they can do is wait.
"Should we really be doing this? You heard what Cloud Retainer said about [Y/N]'s condition, right? It's very grim, and Cloud Retainer doesn't understand how [Y/N] manages to survive this long," Gorou whispers, his ears flattening on his head.
"We can only hope for the best. We can't let [Y/N] slip from our fingers, Gorou. Do you know how hard it is to lose someone that means the world to you? Whether it's a dear friend, a family member, or a past lover?" Aether asks, frowning at the General. 
Heizou laughs bitterly, shaking his head after hearing Aether's question. Of course, everyone knows how it feels to lose someone they hold close to their hearts. Heizou was unfortunate enough to be one of those people who lost someone near and dear to him. Losing someone like you, his significant other, is something he doesn't want to deal with. Death has no mercy, and death doesn't spare anyone. Not even immortals and Archons are safe from experiencing death and losing their life. Everyone dies, and as for your situation, the men don't want you to die.
You're not from their world, and if you were to die in their universe, what would happen to your existence in your world? Would you be erased from your loved one's memory? So many questions circulate in their minds as they sit and wait for the procedure to be completed. 
After what felt like hours of waiting for the Adeptis to be finished treating you, the doors to your bedroom opened. Madame Ping smiles at the men and moves to the side, letting the men into your bedroom. The men file into your room, and there you are, sitting while clutching your head. Ganyu passes you a cup of water. You smile at Ganyu weakly and take small sips. Itto sighs in relief, rushing over to you and standing beside you, waiting for you to put the cup on the nightstand to hug you. The glass cup makes a small clinking noise. Itto plops on the edge of your bed and wraps his arms around your shoulders, burying his face into your hair.
You smile and rub his back, still weak from being used as a vessel for two ancient deceased gods. Itto sniffles and rocks you side to side in his arms. He wants to squeeze you tightly, but you're still weak, and he's unsure of what your current condition is like. While you're awake and no longer in the medically induced coma, there's a high chance you're still physically weak despite having Adeptal energy infused into you.
"I'm so glad to see you awake. You worry me so much, onikabuto booboo bear," Itto murmurs, pulling away from the hug and caressing your face.
You smile at Itto weakly. "I'm sorry for worrying all of you. It was stupid of me to accept the necklace from the merchant, and I wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't touched the sword at the Stormterror's Lair," you reply, placing your hands over his.
Ayato sighs from a distance, pinching the bridge of his nose. "How many times do we have to tell you not to blame yourself? None of it is your fault, and we are currently tracking down that merchant," Ayato says, now standing at the foot of your bed.
They're tracking down the merchant that forced you to take the necklace? How were they going to do that when there were so many merchants and vendors at the festival? You pull away from Itto, coughing into your elbow. Right, you forgot your body is still weak from what happened not long ago. Baizhu approaches your bed and gently pushes you to lay on your bed, tucking you in. You look at Baizhu, who's analyzing you closely. A dull pain on your arm grabs your attention. You look at your arm to see a bandage wrapped around the nook of your elbow. 
"Before we check your current condition, do you want to eat something? You've been in a medically induced coma for a while," Baizhu murmurs, brushing the strands of hair away from your face before pressing the back of his hand against your forehead.
You chew on the inside of your cheek and nod. It has been a while since you've eaten something, and your stomach is starting to feel a little uncomfortable. After seeing you nod, Thoma gets up from his seat to make something for you to eat. But of course, before he leaves your room, Thoma walks to your bed and kisses your cheek.
"I'm glad to see you awake now. I was so worried about you," Thoma whispers and gives your hand a light squeeze.
You smile at Thoma, squeezing his hands in return. Thoma quickly bows to the Adeptis before leaving your bedroom to get you something to eat. Albedo and Venti walk up to your bed, catching you up to speed on what happened while you were unconscious for the last few days. While Venti and Albedo were catching you up, Zhongli and Xiao were standing to the side, talking to the Adeptis.
Zhongli sighs, looking at you from over his shoulders before gazing at the Adeptis. It's great to see that you're awake and no longer in a medically induced coma. Despite being conscious and aware of your surroundings, you still look weak. The state of your condition reminds him of fragile glass that can break under minimal pressure.
"I know you worry about the mortal and their well-being, but rest assured. Ganyu made sure there is enough Adeptal energy infused into your mortal lover's system," Cloud Retainer says.
Zhongli chuckles, shaking his head. "Can you blame me for worrying? Two ancient gods possessed [Y/N]'s body and used their life source for selfish needs," Zhongli sighs. "It was negligent on my end for not watching them closely at the festival. They wouldn't be in this situation if I kept my eyes on them."
A small cough grabs Zhongli and the Adeptis' attention. They all turn to see Doctor Baizhu handing you a cup of water to sip on while Dottore and Tighnari check on your condition. You rub your chest and wince, letting your hands fall on your lap. 
Albedo furrows his eyebrows, eyeing your shirt collar. Albedo points at the collar of your shirt. "Is it okay if I check something?" Albedo asks, his gloved finger brushing against the fabric.
You look at Albedo questionably, nodding slowly. Albedo smiles and gingerly grabs the collar of your shirt, pulling it down enough for everyone in the room to see strange scars on your chest. Kaeya and Kazuha look at one another, their eyebrows furrowing with concern. Albedo sits beside you, blocking the view from the others before asking for permission to pull the collar of your shirt down further. You nod, and Albedo pulls the collar of your shirt down to the middle of your chest, his eyes scanning the scars on your chest.
"What's going on?" Heizou asks, jogging up to your bed to get a look at what Albedo is examining on your chest.
Albedo brushes his fingers against the scars, making you hiss and wince. Albedo pulls his hands away, looking at you worriedly. You place your fingers over the scars, tracing them. You look down at your chest to see lines that resemble lighting scars. The center of your chest was a deep color compared to the jagged lines crawling up to your collarbones and shoulders.
Venti smiles at you reassuringly from over Albedo's shoulders. "Don't worry, [Y/N]! I'm sure there's a way to treat the scars, right?" Vneti turns to look at Dottore, Doctor Baizhu, and Tighnari with a nervous smile,
Doctor Baizhu clears his throat and pushes his glasses up his nose. "Lightning scars fade after a few hours of being struck. However, the scars on [Y/N]'s chest aren't from a lightning strike," says Doctor Baizhu, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Then how do we treat the scars on [Y/N]'s chest? Will the scars heal?" Cyno murmurs, leaning in to get a closer look at the scar across your chest.
"The same way you would treat lightning scars. Put antibiotic ointment or vaseline on the affected area serval times a day until the scars completely heal," Dottore replies nonchalantly.
You sigh as Albedo pulls your shirt collar up, covering the scar. Xiao and Zhongli escort the Adeptis out of your bedroom and to the entrance of the abode. Your eyelids begin to get heavy as you slowly lie down on your bed. Before you can fall asleep, Thoma enters your bedroom with a tray of food in his hands. Kaeya and Kazuha help you sit, fluffing the pillows behind your back while Thoma places the food tray on your lap.
Kaeya points at the food. "Would you like for us to feed you?" Kaeya asks, sitting on the edge of your bed.
You shake your head. "No, thank you! I think I should be able to feed myself," you say, reaching for the spoon. "But thank you for the offer, Kaeya. I really appreciate it."
You manage to feed yourself three spoonfuls of soup, and after the fourth scoop, your arm is beginning to feel tired and sore. You put the spoon into the bowl and tap your fingers on the plastic food tray. You have been put in a medically induced coma for who knows how long, and you're starving. While you're able to feed yourself a minimal amount of soup, your arm feels weak, and you don't think you'll be able to finish your soup with sore, weak arms.
You laugh breathlessly, shaking your head. "On second thought, I think I do need assistance," you say, looking at Kaeya.
Kaeya chuckles and grabs the spoon from the bowl, grabbing the bowl and begin spoon-feeding you. While you're being fed by Kaeya, Kazuha would wipe the corner of your lips if any soup were to drip from the corner of your lips. There are many times when you would almost doze off to sleep, but Kaeya and Kazuha would tap on your cheek to wake you up.
Kazuha strokes your hair while you shut your eyes tightly. "I know you want to sleep, but you need to eat first before going back to sleep," Kazuha murmurs.
"We also need to apply ointment on their scars," Tighnari interjects, waving a tube of ointment in the air to grab your attention.
You curse silently under your breath. You forgot about the ointment. You just want to go to sleep and not have to deal with what's going on around you. You're relieved that you no longer have two entities taking over your body. Having more than one voice in your mind was strange, and these two deceased gods trying to take over your body was a strange experience. You wouldn't wish it upon your enemies. Well, on second thought... it depends on who your enemies are.
You look around in a daze after noticing some people are absent. "Wait. Where's Pierro, Pantalone, and Capitano?" You ask, turning to look at the men quizzically.
"They'll be here in a moment. In the meantime, after you finish eating your food, do you want someone to apply the ointment on you, or do you want to wait a little bit?" Albedo asks, extending his arm out behind him, waiting for Tighnari to place the tube of ointment in his hands.
You don't know how much pain the ointment is going to cause, but you don't think it's best to hold off on it. You don't care who applies the ointment on the strange scars on your chest. You're starting to feel your consciousness beginning to slip away as time continues to pass by. You yawn, slowly lying down and closing your eyes without answering Albedo's question. Albedo sighs and turns to look at the others.
Kaveh shrugs. "I don't think it'll matter when we apply the ointment. We can apply it on them now while they're sleeping," Kaveh suggests, sitting at the foot of your bed while examining the scars peeking from your shirt collar. 
The scars on your chest are a dark shade of red, almost painful and pulsating. The scar is most likely caused by the pendant the merchant forced you to wear and buy. Everyone hopes Pierro, Capitano, and Pantalone can track the merchant down and bring him to justice.
Itto pokes your cheek, trying to keep you awake. You groan softly, swatting Itto's hands away from your face. You open your eyes to see the Oni gazing at you worriedly. Your eyelids flutter while you try your hardest not to fall asleep, but clearly, you're struggling to stay awake. Itto kneels beside your bed and grabs your frail hands, and kisses your knuckles.
"I know you're sleepy, onikabuto booboo bear, but please try to stay awake while we apply ointment on your scars," Itto pleads, kissing your knuckles a second time.
You nod weakly, fighting the urge to doze off. Ayato pulls your shirt collar down while Doctor Baizhu applies the ointment on your scars, carefully trying not to hurt you. But alas, the scars are sensitive and new, causing you to hiss from the stinging sensation. The green-haired doctor mutters a soft apology each time you hiss from the burning sensation. Itto continues to hold onto your hand, feeling you squeeze his hands weakly every time the scars burn due to the ointment. 
"You're doing well, my sweet violetgrass. I'm almost finished applying the ointment; I just need to get this one area, and we'll be done," Doctor Baizhu murmurs.
Tighnari turns to look at Dottore, his arms crossing over his chest. "Are you going to continue to put [Y/N]'s blood through a series of tests?" Tighnari asks, gazing at the Harbinger curiously.
Dottore nods, adjusting the mask over his face. "Of course I am! Just because there's Adeptal energy infused into [Y/N]'s system doesn't mean I have to put the blood test to a halt," Dottore says, propping his hands on his hips.
After a few minutes, Doctor Baizhu is finished applying the ointment, and Ayato pulls your shirt collar back up. Itto releases your hand and tucks you into your bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin. He leans down, kisses your head, and takes a step back. Scaramouche walks to your desk and lights up the small candle on your desk, letting the fragrance waft into the air.
Without turning to look at the men, Scaramouche says, "When we catch this merchant, I'll make sure he suffers."
Childe lets out an amused laugh. "And what are you going to do? Electrocute him? I would rather have him rot in prison for what he has done to [Y/N]," Childe sneers, shaking his head.
Ever since the men (and the Adeptis) were able to get rid of the two ancient gods from your body, the men have been working tirelessly searching for the merchant that started it all. Of course, they weren't able to track the merchant down within those days. 
Growing frustrated with hitting a dead end, Pierro, Pantalone, and Capitano volunteered to hunt the merchant down themselves. Little did you and the other men know, Pantalone snuck off to Fontaine after Arlecchino hinted there were people that might know where the merchant was rather than giving the black-haired Harbinger the exact location of the merchant.
You suddenly lurch forward, startling the men. You slap your hand to your mouth, toss the blanket off your body before running to your bathroom to empty your stomach. Dottore, Tighnari, Doctor Baizhu, and Albedo run after you to make sure you're okay. The men crowd at the doorway, watching you vomit into the toilet bowl while Albedo is holding your hair up. You collapse in front of the toilet, flush it, and wipe your mouth with the back of your hands, sniffling.
Doctor Baizhu presses his hand against your forehead and sighs. "You're running a fever. Let's get you back in bed, alright? I'll get you medication," Doctor Baizhu murmurs.
Dottore scoops you in his arms and carries you out of your bathroom, pushing past the men standing at the doorway. You lean against Dottore's chest, and a wave of exhaustion washes over you like a tsunami. You close your eyes, feeling yourself drifting to sleep once more in the Harbinger's arms. Dottore places you on your bed and tucks you in while Albedo emerges from your bathroom with a bucket just in case you need to empty your stomach for the second time.
"Is there anything we can do to help? We don't want to sit around and watch all of you do the work while we just stand there helplessly," Aether says, approaching your bed.
Before the four men can reply, the door to your room opens, revealing Pantalone. The black-haired Harbinger enters your room with two guests following behind. The two guests are tall and look to be high profile— especially the man with silver hair and blue streaks in his hair. The men look at Pantalone quizzically, pointing at the guests.
"Who are they? Pantalone, you can't bring guests over when we have something going on right now," Aether says, gesturing over to where you lay.
Pantalone ignores Aether, pushing through the men crowding around your bed. Pantalone sighs, shaking his head. You crack your eyes open to see the black-haired man gazing at you worriedly. You smile at him weakly before coughing weakly into your elbow, wincing when your throat starts hurting. Pantalone turns to look at the two guests, nodding to them. The two men step forward and stand beside Pantalone, their arms over their chests. 
Pantalone clears his throat. "While Pierro and Capitano were tracking the merchant down, I snuck off to Fontaine, searching for the merchant. Arlecchino mentioned how there are certain people that might know about the merchant's whereabouts, and I took the initiative and stopped by the City of Justice," Pantalone says.
Al Haitham motions to the two men. "And who are they exactly, and how will they help us with this investigation?" Al Haitham asks, gazing at the men with scrutiny. 
The man with black hair and white streaks in his hair smirks, brushing his hair back from his forehead. "We're here to help you with the situation. Pantalone informed us of what happened, and we're willing to help you all find that merchant," says the black-haired man.
The silver-haired man with blue streaks over in your direction to see Xiao and Gorou holding you up. It's clear you don't have any energy left in you as you slump in their arms, eyes threatening to close. The silver-haired man clears his throat, gesturing if he could step closer. Gorou and Xiao stare at the man warily before nodding reluctantly. The silver-haired man walks to the side of your bed, standing beside Xiao.
"Pantalone has informed us there's a merchant who forced you to take a pendant leading up to your near-death experience. Do you remember what this merchant looks like by any chance?" asks the silver-haired man. "We will do everything we can to bring that man to justice for the damages he has caused to you and your.... partners."
You're going in and out of sleep; your eyelids feel so heavy you can barely keep them open. You swallow the lump in your throat, shuddering when a rush of cool air takes over your body. You close your eyes, trying to remember what the Liyuen merchant looks like. All you can remember is that he was an older man, and his stall consisted of expensive jewelry. 
You gaze at the silver-haired man through heavy eyelids, shaking your head. "I'm sorry, but the only thing I can remember about this merchant was that he was an older man, and he was selling expensive jewelry during the festival," you whisper.
You cough into your elbows, wincing when you feel a sharp pain in your chest. You grab at your shirt, squeezing your hands into a tight fist. The silver-haired man nods and turns to the black-haired man with silver streaks in his hair, nodding. The silver-haired man steps away and walks over to where Pantalone and the black-haired man with silver streaks are standing. Thoma clears his throat, rubbing his neck with a sheepish smile.
"If we're going to be working together to find the merchant that caused all of this, can we at least know the names of the people we're working with?" Thoma asks, gazing at the two guests beside Pantalone.
The silver-haired man nods, gesturing to himself. "My name is Neuvillette. It's a pleasure to meet all of you. There is no need to introduce yourselves. We know who you all are," says the silver-haired man.
"And I am Wriothesley. A pleasure to be working with all of you," The black-haired man with silver streaks in his hair bows, giving the men a charming smile.
Gorou's anxious "uhs" interrupted the moment of peace as he searched for the green-haired doctor. Baizhu weaves through the crowd of men to get to you, Gorou, and Xiao. Xiao and Gorou lay you on your bed while Doctor Baizhu checks your condition with Tighnari at his side. Your heartbeat is regular, and so is your breathing. Aside from the thin layer of sweat on your forehead and your body temperature skyrocketing, you're okay. Baizhu quickly excuses himself to go to the infirmary a few doors down the hallway to get medication for you.
Venti appears beside you with a wet cloth, brushing your hair away from your forehead and placing the cool, damp cloth on your burning forehead. You shiver in your unconscious state, coughing weakly. Your skin is abnormally hot to the touch, so hot that when Gorou touches your arm, he quickly retracts his hands from your arm.
"If [Y/N] is running a fever, shouldn't we have them dress in light clothing? It'll be hard to reduce the fever if they wear layers," Kazuha murmurs.
"I don't think we should disturb their sleep. They've been in and out of sleep often. It worries me that if they were to wake up, they'd collapse," Diluc murmurs, running his hands through his fiery red hair.
Kaeya taps on your bed lightly, reaching for your blanket and feeling the many layers of blanket covering your scorching body. He looks at the others, crossing his arms over his chest. "We might as well remove the mountains of blankets from their body. As Kazuha said, they need to dress in light clothing or have a light blanket over them, or else it'll be harder to reduce the fever," Kaeya says.
Kaeya begins peeling layers of blankets off your body, questioning why you need to sleep with so many blankets. Kaeya counted seven blankets in total that were laid over your burning body. Kaeya places the seven blankets on the small sofa in the corner of your room before grabbing a thin, fuzzy throw blanket from the stool in front of your vanity. Kaeya covers your shivering yet heated body with the throw blanket, wiping the layer of sweat off your face and neck with the rag that was discarded beside your pillow. 
Venti sighs. "I think we should wake [Y/N] up so they can wear something lighter. Plus, they're sweating so much they're starting to sweat through their clothes," Venti says.
Venti wasn't wrong. You are starting to sweat through your clothes, and it's a miracle you didn't sweat through it in the beginning before the Adeptis arrived at the abode. Heizou hesitantly wakes you from your slumber, telling you to change into something lighter and breathable. While you change into shorts and a thinner shirt, Gorou walks to the corner of your room and turns on the fan, letting the fan blow cool air into your stuffy bedroom.
You walk out of the bathroom with Heizou and Cyno guiding you to your bed. Your arms are draped over Cyno and Heizou's shoulders. Your legs can barely keep you up due to them feeling like gelatin. You smile at Cyno and Heizou, plopping down on the bed, and you are out like a light the minute your head touches your pillow.
"Are you guys sure it's just a fever? They're delirious," Cyno murmurs, placing the blanket over your lap and adjusting the pillow under your head.
Heizou rubs his temples, sighing. "I agree. It can't just be any fever. [Y/N] can barely focus on what's going on in front of them. Not only that, but their eyes are glazed over, and their responses are also delayed," Heizou interjects, sitting beside your bed.
"Well, two ancient gods did use [Y/N]'s body as a vessel and life source to do as they pleased. Not only that but Adeptal energy was infused into their system to help them survive the aftermath. It's normal for their body to react this way as they are not used to being put through many obstacles," Dainsleif says, closing his eyes.
A set of footsteps approach your bedroom, and there enters Capitano and Pierro, looking tense and grim. The men in the room look at one another, wondering why the two Harbingers were gone for so long and why they had that look on their faces. Pierro and Capitano stop at the entrance, eyes scanning the room.
"We managed to track down the merchant," says Pierro.
Ayato raises his eyebrows at the Harbingers, leaning against the wall beside your bed. "Is that so? And where was the merchant? I thought Pantalone, Wriothesley, and Neuvillette were going to start searching for this merchant after [Y/N] gave them the descriptions," says Ayato.
Capitano huffs. "Insolent fool. The two men from Fontaine asked [Y/N] for descriptions of the merchant because we managed to narrow down a few men [Y/N] described. If we were to line them up in one room and have [Y/N] identify them by their appearance, then we have found the merchant," Capitano says.
Xiao huffs, glaring at the Harbinger. "That's very unlikely going to happen now. I suggest you all let [Y/N] rest, and we can continue the search some other time, alright?" Xiao hisses.
Gorou nervously interjects. "Plus, [Y/N] is currently sleeping right now. I know you all want to get down to business and bring the merchant to justice, but please put [Y/N]'s health first," Gorou pleads.
The men reluctantly agreed and left your room one by one. Xiao and Gorou stayed behind to make sure every person left before following the other twenty-five men out of your bedroom. The next few days were grueling for you and the others. You would throw up everything you ate and could barely swallow your medication to the point where it had to be injected into you through your veins. Seeing you suffer was painful, and the others didn't know what else to do to ease your pain. The Adeptis would stop by every now and then throughout the day to check up on your condition and if the Adeptal energy was negatively impacting you in any way.
"How long is this torture going to last for [Y/N]? They barely ate and are a bag of bones at this point. Their eyes are sunken in, and they're losing color to their skin. How is this not concerning for any of you!?" Scaramouche demands, slamming his hands down on the table and glaring at the other men in the room. 
Scaramouche was right. You barely ate anything because you can barely keep it down if you ate something. No matter how little you eat, you will throw it back up. You can hardly keep your eyes open for ten minutes without wanting to pass out asleep. You're always tired, you barely leave your bed, and you can barely care for yourself. It wasn't the Adeptal energy that was causing this, apparently. Everyone was skeptical and worried but refused to show their concerns. It wasn't because they were afraid of showing how worried they were for you. They didn't want to stress the other person out if they did.
Childe runs his hands through his ginger hair. "What else are we supposed to do? We're doing our best to take care of [Y/N], and you're over here blabbering your mouth like an annoying pest," Childe hisses.
Scaramouche opens his mouth to retort, but Pierro holds his hand up. "Both of you, silence. Bickering isn't going to get us anywhere, nor will it make the situation any better," Pierro hisses, glaring at Scaramouche and Childe. 
Albedo walks down the stairs, fixing his hair with a sigh. Kazuha stands and walks over to Albedo, worriedly gazing at the Chief Alchemist.
"So? How's [Y/N]?" asks Kazuha.
Albedo rubs his face, his shoulders slumping. "They could've been worse. The good update I have is they're able to eat their food without it coming back up. I believe they ate a few hours ago, and it seems like they haven't vomited back up," replies Albedo, smiling at Kazuha.
"And what about their consciousness? Any updates on that?" Thoma asks.
Albedo shakes his head before explaining the situation. You were able to eat and digest your food after days of not being able to. However, even though you can eat and digest your food without any issues, your consciousness is another problem everyone has to figure out how to solve. 
"Are you sure it's not the Adeptal energy that's causing this whole mess? I understand [Y/N] was possessed by two dead gods simultaneously, but that can't be the only reason why [Y/N] is in this condition," Dainsleif comments, turning to look at Zhongli and Xiao.
The two men stare at the blond man, not saying a single thing. It can't be the Adeptal energy infused into your system. Zhongli and Xiao were informed by Ganyu that she made sure just a tiny amount of Adeptal energy was infused into your body. While it may cause some complications in the beginning, the problem should be brief. It should be temporary after a few days, but your case is worse than mild.
"Can we go and visit them, or is it bad timing?" Al Haitham asks.
Kaeya shrugs. "I don't see why not. It has been a few days since we've all seen [Y/N]. As Albedo said, they're able to eat without vomiting it back up. I would call it progress," Kaeya nods.
The way to your room is silent. No one said a single thing, and the only noise filling the silence was footsteps going up the wooden staircase. Diluc grabs the door handle, cracks the door open, and peeks into your room to see you sitting on your bed while Baizhu and Dottore check up on you. The men enter your room, quietly greeting you as they don't want to overwhelm you. 
"How have you been?" Diluc asks, leaning against the door.
You scrunch your face and sigh. "I'm feeling a little bit better now. Although being bedridden isn't as fun as it sounds," you murmur, rubbing the bandaged area on your arm. "On the bright side, I can eat just fine. The downside is I can barely stay awake without the urge of wanting to go back to bed after five minutes of opening my eyes," you add.
You do look better than a few days prior. Before, your hair was lackluster, you looked sickly, and you (according to Scaramouche) looked like a bag of bones. Now, you look a little bit wide awake. You don't look like a bag of bones due to not being able to keep your food down. You almost look like your normal self before the whole ancient gods possessed your body and used your life source for their selfish needs. You look alive than almost lifeless, and everyone is glad you’re gradually doing better than before.
"[Y/N], there are people here from Fontaine, and they want to help you--- help us with what occurred not long ago at the festival and the events that led to you being bedridden," says Pierro, sitting at the foot of your bed. "Do you think you can do that? By giving them any information you can recall that night?"
You nod, watching Pierro gesture for the two men from Fontaine to step forward. The two men, who later introduced themselves as Neuvillette and Wriothesley, jot down the information you provided the night the festival happened. You tried your best to tell them every detail you could remember. From the jewelry stands to the older gentleman of the stall, how the older man was very persistent in getting you to accept the pendant. 
The older man did not take no for an answer and forced you to take the necklace despite you politely rejecting the offer. The man sold the necklace at an insane price. The necklace has a tragic background, and it felt wrong to parade around wearing the necklace that was once given to the woman by her deceased lover. The pendant is beautiful and has a tragic story behind it, and you didn't want to wear something that used to mean so much to the deceased woman. Yes, she possessed and nearly killed you, but you hold no ill will toward the deceased woman. 
"Thank you for providing us with the information we needed," Neuvillette says, giving you a brief smile.
Wriothesley clears his throat, closing his notepad. "Now that we got that out of the way, do you want to identify the man now?" Wriothesley asks.
You blink at the black-haired man with silver streaks. What does he mean by that exactly? Did you not identify the merchant already? Everyone in the room looks almost as confused as you, except for Pantalone, Pierro, Capitano, Neuvillette, and Wriothesley. You subconsciously rub the fading scars on your chest, feeling your heart race against your chest. 
Zhongli narrows his eyes at the four men. "What does he mean by that?" Zhongli questions, crossing his arms over his chest.
Pantalone chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "It seems like we left out one key piece of information," Pantalone says. "Ah, how silly of me to forget to inform you all about this."
Dainsleif glares at the black-haired Harbinger. "What are you talking about?" Dainsleif asks, clenching his jaws.
"The merchant and many other men that fit the description are currently held hostage under the Harbingers' Estate. We can now start identifying the culprit and bring him to justice," says Capitano.
You swallow the lump in your throat, suddenly feeling ill again. This entire time, the Harbingers (well, Pierro, Pantalone, and Capitano) have been keeping the merchant and many other men who fit the description as prisoners in the basement of the Harbingers' Estate. You weren't sure if it was the Adeptal energy that was making you feel ill, or if it was because you were possessed not long ago by two ancient gods, or if it was because the merchants had been in the abode while you were bedridden.
"Are you ready to identify the man?" Capitano asks, holding his hand out for you to take.
You stare at Capitano's hands, looking at him hesitantly. Are you ready to meet the man that caused all of this?
Note: Two out of three stories have been published! I'm still not done with the other fic (the HSR one), but hopefully, I can get it finished and posted before 6 AM PST. As my vacation is getting near, I will be posting much shorter fics before and while I'm on vacation. Hopefully, it'll give me time to think about what I want to write for the next fic. I think I'm going to be posting part 7 of Crave for next week since I don't want to write smut the week I go on vacation or while I'm on vacation 💀 Last week's link has now expired, so for those who want to pop into my discord and lurk or chat with other server members, here is a new (and temporary) server link to [Zhongli's Abode]. To my new and/or returning readers, please keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
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dreamingofthewild · 2 months ago
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I feel like people often misunderstand why Gale chooses to stay behind after you side with the goblins. And to an extent, why he also stands by a romanced character in their evil ending.
Gale choosing to stay doesn’t imply that he is easily corruptible, secretly evil, or weak-willed. Given the limited time he has to find a secluded spot to avoid collateral damage from the orb when ceremorphosis hits, he doesn't really have much of a choice but to think about survival.
Gale has been living with a death sentence due to the orb, one he has been trying to mitigate, so he has had a long time to think about his mortality and he doesn't want to die—especially not while he still hasn't been forgiven by Mystra. His decision to stay with the party, even under morally dubious circumstances, underscores his pragmatic approach to survival rather than an inherent inclination towards evil.
Gale is undeniably drawn to powerful individuals. However, beneath this attraction lies his tendency to see the good in people and rationalise things.
Gale’s capacity for love is profound and intense. His love isn't just affection; it's worship. His romantic devotion is incredibly passionate yet self-destructive. It places Gale in a position where he might find himself in an unequal power dynamic again without him realising it.
His tendency for romantic idealism can prevent him from recognizing toxic patterns. Ultimately, Gale’s decision to stay with such powerful and potentially evil figures is not about compromising his morals but rather about being blinded by love, not wanting to give it up easily and a deep understanding of the complexities of human nature.
In the events of the game he still doesn't fully recognise that his relationship with Mystra is problematic. It stands that he might not realise that he is getting himself into a relationship with another unequal power dynamic.
It might also be that he doesn't want to abandon his loved one, just like Mystra abandoned him. This doesn’t mean that he is going to compromise his own morals, however. He chooses to support and stand by the person he loves, as long as they stand by him. He will challenge them, but he will act with the empathy and consideration that Mystra never afforded him. Once again, his own experience and desire for agency are most likely guiding his choices.
His devotion and hope are beautiful yet tragic, making him a deeply romantic character prone to repeating past mistakes in his quest for love and acceptance.
He does have a darker side which is attracted to knowledge and power. But it's easy to forgot that his intentions are never immoral or malicious.
When it comes to love, knowledge, and power, Gale has a significant blind spot (moral blindness maybe?). Ultimately, he just wants to love, live, and be accepted for who he is, rather than what he can do for others. His desire for happiness and to see his loved ones happy often drives his decisions. As well as a confidence in his own abilities and ability to handle situations.
So, yes, Gale might stay with his romanced partner even in an evil ending. But this doesn't mean he is evil himself. It simply reflects his humanity and the depths of his devotion. Strong emotional bonds can lead someone to remain involved with a deeply flawed and morally ambiguous partner.
It will be a toxic romance, but Gale's willingness to stay with a morally ambiguous love interest reflects not in his morality but in his approach to love. If he'd had a normal relationship and didn't have the orb then his reactions might have been different.
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graceshouldwrite · 3 months ago
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Writing Villains (Underrated Tips)
1. Variety
Not all villains have to be the next Darth Vader, Luke Castellan, John Wick, etc. Your villain’s arc doesn’t have to originate from the Big Traumatic Thing that happened when they were X Years Old. Here are some characterization ideas that still keep them interesting (no tragic backstory required):
misguided villain. They don’t think what they do is that evil/they think they are benefiting others (e.g. Thanos from the MCU)
IDGAF villain. They just don’t care about the disaster they leave behind them (e.g. Ozai from ATLA)
past bystander villain. Nothing bad happened to THEM particularly-- they just saw bad things happen to other people, and decided that they need to correct society (e.g. Light Yagami from Death Note)
I was bored villain. They were bored. And millions died for it. They’re probably also an ENTP. Oh, well (e.g. Ryuk from Death Note)
zealous villain. They do it for their cause--god, cult, organization, whatever--there’s a greater power that is their greater purpose (e.g. Cthulu cultists from Call of Cthulu)
staunch traditionalist (often allegorically racist) villain. They want to act according to, and preserve the statusquo (tends to be heritage, race, class, personality, etc.), and believe that any change is bad (e.g. Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter)
These are just some examples of interesting villain characterizations that absolutely do NOT need a tragic backstory to function.
2. Spill the tea
Show how they treat the people closest to them.
Instead of just focusing on their actions, create moments where readers can see them interacting with their family, friends, etc. This is a powerful tool with the potential to humanize them in a softer way, or make them seem even more scary, merciless, corrupt, secretive, etc.
For example, the audience doesn’t just see Azula from ATLA fight people and conquer cities with a crazy amount of skill and power. The writers show how she interacts with her two best friends; the way she shamelessly belittles them to their faces, manipulates them as pawns, and has no problem putting them in incredible danger reveals a LOT more about her character in a way that only showing her actions cannot.
3. Polarize
Consistency isn’t always key. Sure, the cold and calculating overlord should generally make cold and calculating decisions, but to spice things up, find the thing that will make them snap. Change. Show weakness. Become their opposite, if only for a moment.
(SPOILER WARNING for Arcane)
Silco is a drug kingpin in an underbelly city that is full of gangs, criminals, murderers, thieves, and the sort (you get it).
He not only survives--he THRIVES in that kind of environment as one of the scariest authorial figures. He himself had to experience crazy backstabbing, and grew to be nothing but calculated, manipulative, and ruthless...until he unofficially adopted a daughter! He realized that she had “undone” him to the point where he refused to give her up for a dream he would have been willing to die for.
It DOES sound pretty inconsistent for the ruthless drug kingpin to sacrifice EVERYTHING he’d worked for to clean up after an insane daughter who runs around making murderous messes that attract flocks of authorities. And, it is. Like he says himself, he loses “nothing but problems.”
But, real humans are almost never 100% consistent, and this sort of polarity will humanize your villains without necessarily requiring a tragic backstory or a noble motivation.
∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘
instagram: @ grace_should_write
Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)
Happy writing, and have a great day!
- grace <3
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sapphirestones09 · 3 months ago
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AAAAAAA FINALLY! I'm done playing @oneknightstand-if. As part of the celebration, here is Rosie's colored sketch (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ Lol, this looks like an anime title card And thus! The Stats!
Blobbed: Yep (We are what now?)
Bold : 205 (Is this high lol?) Sweet : 46 Sassy : 159 Optimist : 76
Health : 85 Mark Status : Healed Merlin Healing : 2 Merlin Forced Healing : 0
Caution : 9 Will : 7 Cloudcuckoolanderness : 42 (Not enough, we gotta go full cray cray) Silent : 7 Curse Level : 4 Fear Level : 6 Corruption : -5 (Is this low enough?) Mute : false Mindcontrol : false
Downtime : Had Breakfast | Snarfed Sweets | Shower Accident |
Route : Went into Store & Fought | (What I gotta use the hunting knives as soon as possible in some way right?)
New Inventory : Hairdryer | Sweets | Shower Mat | Everclear Alcohol (Molotov! Molotov! Molotov!) They Know : false | It Sees : Masked | You Replied False Some stats are missing when I scroll from the past posts in the forum. Such as Crazy Theory, Crazy Theory Level, Pottymouth, Serenades, Interpretative Dance, and a deep dive into the Adrian and Merlin's relationship stats (I WANT TO SEE HOW MANY TIMES I FLIRTED GODAMMIT!). I wonder if I can access it (╥ω╥) About Rosie!
You are currently known as Rosaline (Rosie) Bane a seemingly normal female wildlife biologist. You have red eyes, very long flowing icy blond hair, and a short and petite figure clad in a red cape with an amaranth face mask. People tend to take particular notice of your hair. At first glance, people tend to find you not very intimidating.
You excel at sword fighting, gardening, and having a magnetic personality. Meanwhile, you've got a weakness for prescription medications and enclosed spaces, as well as having anger management issues.
You have an ear piercing. You also have a couple of scars along your neck and wrist.
A tragic accident that claimed your whole family lies in your past and the fate of your future remains murky with the apocalypse ever looming in the background. At least no one has suspected that you are actually a serial killer.
Your final words were "And now for a final word from our sponsor—"
Note! I didnt know I could play something as chaotic and as fun as this game provided me. Its super fun and enjoyable and yet amidst the chaos I loved the characters that was shown and grown to get attached to them to a degree. Both Merlin and Adrian are mysterious and enigmatic in their own ways that makes me look forward to the story and how it progresses towards their character. Also seeing Adrian being exasperated over Cloudcuckolander MC's antics tickles my funny bones more than I can admit. I admit I was reluctant to get into the game seeing as its such a huge one, but after playing all I can say is MOAR! I NEED MOAARRRR! AND PLEASE AUTHOR TELL ME HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY PASS THE STAT CHECK FOR MOONWALKING ON THE FENCING ROUTE! I NEED TO MOONWALK! I NEED THESE PEOPLE TO CLAP FOR ME! And please can we apologize to Adrian for punching him? (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ I know in the grand scheme of things, Adrian forgives us already but we still wanna apologize (ಡ‸ಡ) And oh boy, I think Im gonna draw lots and lots of fanarts now... Skill Stats!
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Personality Stats!
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Can we still claim to be a newbie after Merlin's extensive lore dump on us? Relationship Stats!
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Inventory!
Your ultimate weapon is unknown.
You are currently armed with... nothing, at least as far as you know.
Cold Steel SRK survival knife
You also have on hand...
E-phone 7XL
several small bottles of prescription medications
photo of your family
Killer McKiller Face's favorite stuffed animal (Rip our micro pig (ಥ﹏ಥ))
well-worn Bible (To ward off evil of course!)
mystical Magic 8-Ball (Another holy item! I sure hope it does not contain anything otherworldly that will potentially endanger us and others ha.ha.ha (→_→)
small herb garden of eclectic plants including a mutant Venus Flytrap (The only queen Rosie will ever potentially bow to!)
collection of various survival & hunting knives
small bag of iridescent pearls
bottle of 95% alcohol Everclear (Molotov! Molotov! Molotov ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝)
slightly squished pastry (I KNOW MY PRIORITIES! AND ITS SWEETS!)
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arcane-vagabond · 8 months ago
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Okay, but what if it was Victorian Era!Jake's mother or mother-in-law who laced up his wifey too tight? Just to "teach her a lesson", because she doesn't like wifey being married to Jake or something... And wifey is too stubborn to let the woman know she is in any discomfort, so she doesn't say a word to anyone about it until the event is over and she is all alone with Jake in their own bedroom, far away from the evil woman. And throughout the event she would sometimes grip onto Jake's arm tighter for support, or lean on him more, or ask to stop dancing before the song ends, and she doesn't eat much if at all of the food, even though it's her favourite, so Jake knows something is wrong, but he knows better than to verbally ask her, so he just looks at her with a look only she knows to be concerned (because Jake knows that his wife is a very proud woman, and she would hate for everyone else around her to know/think she is weak, especially her mother/mother-in-law, when the whole point is to prove a point against the woman) and she just squeezes his hand, and gives him a small shake of her head, to let him know she needs his support, but not make it too obvious (it helps that Jake never was one to leave her alone for too long at these events). And so when they are alone in their own room, far, far from everyone else, she finally lets the facade go and she gasps for air, and Jake knows immediately what to do, and he hurriedly takes the corset off, and his wifey is crying from relief when she can finally breathe normally. Jake sees red at the thought of someone doing this to her, but he is still the most gentle ever with his wife as he touches her and holds her and asks her who laced her up, although wifey can hearthe barely restrained rage. And at first she is hesitant to tell him, because she doesn't want to hurt him by revealing that either of their mothers doesn't approve, so it takes Jake listing off the potential suspects for her to burst out "no, it was my/your mother!". And she is crying and he is shocked, but only for a second, because then it makes perfect sense, and finally he understands why the woman looked so displeased the whole evening - because wifey held herself together and her plan didn't work. Needless to say, Jake pampers wifey the whole night and morning , and will never let anyone else lace her up, other than himself.
First of all, I love that we're writing novel length asks for this concept lmaooooooo
So, one thing that's very interesting about the corsets that a lot of people don't realize is that they were not meant to be tight. Corsets were meant to be support items like bras. You had to be able to move around in them and do things, so it wouldn't make sense for them to be suffocating or restrictive. I know we all want the Pirate's of the Caribbean scene where she feints, but my loves, that's just not realistic, and if you've been following me for a while, you'll know that I try to be as realistic with my historical AUs as possible.
Now, with that being said, I could see someone tying reader's corset waaaayyyyy too tight just to be vindictive!
And you're right. Jake would be absolutely livid once he finds out. He'd be so gentle with reader, stroking his hands up down your sides in a bid to soothe you as you catch your breath. He'd kiss the frustrated tears away, urging you to lay back as he strokes your hair and whispers those sweet nothings. He'd gather you up in his arms and just let you cry out the frustrations.
Now, I imagine that it would actually be Reader's mother who did this. I picture her as very controlling, wanting everything to be just so in the name of the family's honor. I'm not sure if she approves of Jake, but does know that he's from a very well-to-do and respected family, so maybe she's upset because Reader told her no about something. Mother knows best, after all, so how dare her daughter tell her no!
I think the next time Reader's mother is over, he'd do something very subtle to embarrass her publicly for the stunt she pulled with his wife. She won't soon try something like THAT again.
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flxfthm · 1 month ago
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like, so, felix is the holder of the miraculous of emotion and his plan was flawed from the start because he created red moon out of anger. there wasn't a logical error ladybug could exploit because he had that covered, if he was THAT evil that all he wanted was killing people then he won. but this is the show where the monsters of the week are people in vulnerable Emotional states who use their powers to lash out at the world. & felix is ESSENTIALLY an akuma, but the metaphor changes from a person who's momentarily upset to an individual whose anger is the result of several years of pain, which matches the SCALE of the damage done.
and so the confrontation with ladybug is huge because this is her first enemy where the solution is not so simple because there's no butterfly or feather to purify or whatever, it's felix's own shortcoming to realize. and it had people stumped because it wasn't a conventional downfall, ladybug didn't do anything by herself with a heroic speech or sudden power-up that lets her defeat felix with innate moral superiority, since it would miss the point. felix is an extremist that genuinely sees himself as an underdog fighting for a group that can't defend ifself, and he's not completely wrong but whatever his intentions are, cannot be justified by the approach he takes. and since the flaw doesn't lie in his beliefs, or arguably even the reason why he's lashing out, he has to be faced with the consequences of his recklessness and realize that "freedom" is not just whatever he feels is right. and it's genius because ladybug EXPECTS him to do the right thing, so it still leaves felix with the autonomy of making his own choices, and trusting that there IS good in him, and that his worldview is horrifyingly twisted by years of trauma. and in the end felix is betrayed by his own emotions when he once again realizes how alone he is, when he's confused by adrigami's fear in contrast to his happiness, when he's once again excluded after they choose marinette over him, and finally when he realizes he let the worst of himself take over to the point of cruelty, indistinguishable from his father, and only adding more salt to the wound when he has to pity-kill his own sister because to the end he still hangs onto his values and refuses to strip one of their own free will. he doesn't get a linear and explicit "redemption" (term LOOSELY used here) because felix's arc is more thematical and EMOTION-based rather than a series of actions which are meant to "prove" the change of heart that you can already see in his following episodes anyway. emotion will be hard to dethrone as the best episode of the show in how it's simultaneously straight to the point but also cleverly subtle in how much you can take from it in every single scene, & the way it takes full advantage of felix's potential as an antagonistic figure while taking him down using the one weakness that was there from the start
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linkspooky · 10 months ago
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How do you feel about higuruma in the last couple chapters + how he died(assuming hes dead he seems pretty dead), normally characters with death wishes like choso for example are denied that wish, but it was granted for higuruma. just in a meta sense how do u think that served the story
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The reason why Choso wasn't allowed to die, meanwhile Higuruma dies is less Gege being inconsistent and more they are two different characters with two different arcs. Choso's atonement arc is pretty clear, his arc is probably the most complete arc in the manga. Higuruma doesn't have an arc, he doesn't grow or adapt or change in time even though he has the potential to, and even though he's challenged head on by Sukuna and that's why he dies.
I don't mean to say that Higuruma is a bad character when I say that he doesn't have an arc, but rather his character remains static even though he is a well-rounded character. We can dive deeper into Higuruma's character though, to show what I mean when I say that his arc is static and that's the reason he died.
The Ugliness of the Weak
Everyone jumps to Nanami right away when looking for a character to compare Higuruma too, but while there are superficial similarities the best comparison is actually Geto.
Nanami is probably the prime example of a first grade sorcerer, he and Yuji are probably the only sorcerers who do their jobs for non-selfish reasons. Nanami could have had an escape from sorcery to make more money in a safer job, but he goes back to sorcery because he believes that work is more useful to society and worthwhile.
Admittedly, Higuruma starts in the same place as Nanami, wanting to do his work as a defense attorney even though the odds are stacked against him, instead of being a prosecutor or a judge because he doesn't want to turn his eyes away from others.
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However, herein lies the rub, while they share the desire to do a job that's useful for others, especially people who can't really fight for themselves, and they both work hard thankless jobs Nanami never develops a superiority complex about it.
Nanami never thinks of the people he helps as weak and inferior. In fact, he criticizes for only fighting for his ego. He doesn't separate the strong and the weak as different categories, he just does his job out of a sense of duty.
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Higuruma is compared to Gojo in terms of his raw talent as a Jujutsu Sorcerer, a modern sorcerer who learned domain expansion, and domain amplification in less than a month and then reverse cursed technique in a few minutes when pressed by Sukuna. He was also considered a genius at lawschool as well who could have easily climbed the ranks further if he didn't stay a defense attorney.
Higuruma does his job out of a perceived duty to keep his eyes open to justice, but he still looks down on those same people he's defending. He sees them as a category separate to himself, they are the weak defendants and he is the savior.
Now, who has a talent similiar to Gojo, started in a place of wanting to help the weak out of a sense of duty, while also harboring a superiority complex against them because he was considered such a genius? Ding, ding, ding you get no points for that one, it's Geto.
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"The weakness of the victim. The weakness of the accused. Ugly that's what I thought every time I tried to help anyone." "What I saw was nothing out of the ordinary. A hideous evil, known to everyone."
They're both characters who had impossibly hard jobs who still put their noses down to the grindstone and did their jobs out of a sense of justice, or obligation, or because they upheld themselves to a higher moral standard, only to get sick of it from the sense that none of their actions were making a difference and also the ingratitude of people they were trying to save.
They're also, despite being geniuses incredibly fragile ego-wise. Geto has a hero complex, and when Toji easily defeats him, nearly kills Gojo, and kills Rika in front of him he's shown he's a normal person like the rest of the world and can't deal, even saying spiteful words to Gojo that if he had all of Gojo's strength anything he wanted would be possible. This is coming from Geto who had always treated Gojo like an equal and never envied him up until this point.
Then there's Higuruma who calls the victims of an unfair justice system ugly and weak because they ummm... stare at him.
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LIke, wow! They're going to go to jail for a long time for a crime they didn't even do, and they're just a little bit upset about it?
How dare they.
They're looking for someone to blame because they're in a bad situation and they're freaking out?
This perfectly human reaction is called "ugly" because Higuruma sees himself in a superior category to these people. He calls empathy looking at someone's weaknesses, and he felt the people he tried to sympathize with and understand were ugly.
I mean yeah I guess freaking out when they were going to prison for a crime they didn't commit and blaming Higuruma who was overworking himself trying to help them wasn't very cash money of them, but you know what else isn't very chill?
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Flipping out and murdering a bunch of people the exact moment you're granted a power like Jujutsu by the culling games. Geto and Higuruma see themselves in a category superior to the weak people who sometimes aren't perfect victims and sometimes aren't grateful for their sacrifices, but when given power how exactly do they use it?
Geto after snapping quickly takes over the same cult that killed Riko Amanai an innocent girl, and uses it for much more nefarious purposes. Higuruma quickly becomes a much worse person than the supposed ugly crimminals he was defending the second, the literal second he's granted power.
Geto and Higuruma are just as capable of being bad victims as the same kind of bad victims they looked down on. They're just as affected by trauma, and just as willing to do bad things when put into bad situations because guess what... they're still human. The strong are equally as human as the weak. They see themselves as better than others, and their altruism isn't 100% altruistic (but to be honest no altruism is completely unselfish) because it comes from a place of perceived charity work. When they are hit with the realization that they are just as human, and therefore just as capable of erroring they can't cope.
Which is where we finally get to my point, if Choso is not allowed to die for atonement then why does the story kill off Higuruma and grant him his death wish?
Here's where I tie him to Geto again. (A lot of characters parallel with Geto really including Yuji several times but that's a different post, like Higuruma doesn't have nearly the same bodycount as Geto and he doesn't have any genocidal ambition but that's why he's a character foil and not the exact same character.)
Arguably, Geto also had a death wish that was granted by Gojo himself at the tragic end of Jujutsu Kaisen Zero. While he never directly says so like Choso and Higuruma do there are plenty of lines that indicate it.
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He says that he can't be happy from the bottom of his heart in this world, that's the same as basically saying he can't continue living in the world. Years earlier in Hidden Inventory in a panel that parallels this scene he also says that he'd willingly let Gojo kill him and there'd be meaning in that death. At the end of Zero, Geto is crawling away from Yuta ready to continue the fight again and when Gojo suddenly appears he basically makes no attempts to resist.
You could even say that Geto was throwing his life away in pursuit of an impossible dream to begin with. In the light novel adaptation of this scene, the narrator even speculates that the world was simply too cruel a place for Geto to live in.
'...no matter what, I hate non-sorcerers. But it's not like I hate everyone at Jujutsu Tech. It's just...' It's just that it was what Geto had to do. In some ways, Geto and Yuuta were the same. Geto was too sincere. To someone like him, the reality that the world of sorcerers presented to him was just too cruel. '...that in a world like this, I couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of my heart.'
So arguably Geto had a death wish too, and that wish was granted by Gojo in the end, while Choso's was denied.
To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in the curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality. This was the final confession of a man who could only choose to warp himself, who had erased himself in pursuit of his goals. The only person who could bear such a curse was Gojo Satoru.
The prose even further compares Geto to Yuta in how they're too sincere, and how Geto can't change himself in the face of a cruel world. Geto dies not because of his death wish though that's part of it, but because of his inability to adapt and grow.
Then we reach Higuruma, who is literally a DEFENSE ATTORNEY, who is supposed to sympathize with accused murderers, and even actual murderers that he has to defend at court. Yet, this DEFENSE ATTORNEY, can't see a single reason to live and atone and redeem himself for the murders he's committed.
Higuruma's a defense attorney, but his cursed technique is a prosecutor and a judge that hands out death sentences. Despite his stated goal of being a defense attorney and wanting to sympathize with human weakness, in the end he cannot forgive crimminals and he also cannot forgive himself.
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If anything, the difference between Choso and Higuruma is that Choso still has things to live for. He has a death wish and a wish to atone, but what keeps him going is his desire to protect Yuji. Higuruma the DEFENSE ATTORNEY has given up his role as a protector and is only dealing out punishments.
A character who is still capable of growing and changing in a narrative usually lives, unless they're a mentor to be sacrificed like Nanami. A character who does not grow either doesn't get screentime or they die. Higuruma couldn't see forgiveness or atonement for crimminals, he could only see punishment and because of that when he became a crimminal too he accepted his punishment and died.
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officialpenisenvy · 5 days ago
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Since it seems down your alley and idk if youve talked about it before to my knowledge im really curious about your thoughts on trans exclusionary radical feminist fixation on pederasty (see: germaine greer’s the boy) + lesbian desire in relation to the like, archetype of the ganymede + the relation between that and sexual objectification of transfems and the utilization of said ganymede archetype in art as a sort of “agencyless transfeminine” 
okay so i want to say first of all that this is just me talking out of my ass and basically reflecting out loud (most of my blog is, but especially right now), so i don't know how coherent this will be, and i apologize preemptively if any wording on this is questionable or offensive, that is never my intent. i haven't looked into or researched this subject, so if you have any recommendations i would love to hear them! ramble answer under the cut
im very familiar with germaine greer's the boy, i have read it (as much as anyone can be said to have read what amounts to a pederasty-themed photo album) and reflected on it for some time: while the purported effort of the book is to "reclaim" pederasty from gay men towards women, i feel like the very desire to enable women to be pederasts is entrenched in greer's radical feminist background. trans-exclusionary radical feminism is built around bioessentialism, the assumption that men are ontologically different from women, and specifically that men are essentially evil, strong and predatory whereas women are essentially good, weak and preyed-upon: the young boy, however, somewhat disrupts this paradigm, being as he has been historically and culturally objectified and preyed upon and victimized in the same way women have. though he will inevitably grow up to become the evil strong man who harms women, therefore, the young boy can still be enjoyed by the woman while he is weak and essentially harmless, a more even relationship than that between a woman and a man that still allows a potentially heterosexual woman to satisfy her desire for a man; i don't need to specify that in real life we know any relationship between an adult and a child cannot be even and is more often than not deeply harmful to the child, and that the vast majority of adults who do sexual harm to children do so not necessarily because of physical attraction but because of attraction to their helplessness.
all this above is my attempt at finding a terf-ist rationale for female pederasty, but it does also somewhat mirror societal attitudes to the young boy, especially in a gay male context — starting from ancient pederasty up to basically the present day, the young boy is consistently the feminine or feminised party, at least in part due to his fragility and weakness in comparison to the (necessarily) stronger adult lover. the young boy, who i will now start calling the ephebe in this more archetypal context, therefore becomes a very powerful cultural figure of androgyny: ganymede's gender is important insofar as zeus chooses to bring him up to olympus and train him up as a cupbearer (a social role unthinkable for a girl), but his vulnerability and sort of waifishness are properties both of the ephebe and the girl/woman, and the same goes for all other popular depictions of ephebes, they are young boys noted for their beauty and androgyny who are functionally interchangeable with girls. as many queer people are, i find androgyny to be very attractive in all its variations and potential combinations, and i think that's why im so drawn to the ephebe as an archetype (needless to say i don't want to fuck actual young boys): the fascination with this concept of a beautiful boy who's devoid of most stereotypical characteristics of masculinity and who's somewhat forcibly put in the social role of a girl is to me a similar drive to the one that makes me attracted to very masculine women, i really enjoy the deliberate blurring of gender lines (and it would be pointless to hide that i also enjoy the element of coercion, though that is a recurring theme in my sexuality which is not limited to the ephebe).
obviously, all this discussion is separate from attraction to actual trans women: my attraction to trans women is motivated by them being women, so my enjoyment of a fem trans woman is paramount to that of a fem cis woman, my enjoyment of a masc trans woman is paramount to that of a masc cis woman (so coming from that place of liking androgyny), and so forth. of course, whether or not one is attracted to trans women is secondary to whether or not they actually treat trans women as women and respect their identity — plenty of people are attracted to trans women and behave like absolute monsters towards them.
like you said, trans women are horribly objectified and sexualised: to my understanding there's two broad categories of sexual objectification trans women face, being forcibly put in a submissive position (so basically recycling the ephebe archetype, especially coming from people who see trans women as particularly feminine boys), and being forcibly put in a dominant/active position (especially from people who see trans women as men and thus inherently sexually domineering, and who potentially fetishize their genitals as well). the forced submission, while obviously horrible and transmisogynistic and often meant as punishment for the transgression of manhood, isn't in practice terribly different from the forced submission cis women tend to experience to a lesser degree, so it can be in some measure rationalized as assimilable to the sexual treatment one would receive if she were as a cis woman (intersectional parenthesis demands i point out that cis and trans black women sexually interacting with non-black men are more likely to be put in a place of forced domination than forced submission). the forced domination, however, is pointedly and manifestly transmisogynistic in a way that specifically portrays the trans woman in question as "really a man" and "really secretly dominant", often with a very phallic emphasis, and this can be an obvious source of discomfort and dysphoria for trans women, some of whom will try to counteract that by making themselves deliberately more submissive and pliable and non-dominant, basically embodying the feminine and ephebic archetype of passive sexuality, or the "agencyless transfeminine" like you said.
i am not sure any of this makes sense, i hope i was able to be at least somewhat coherent for you anon! i would really love any input or criticism my transfem followers might have on this, since im obviously only speaking from what i have seen and am not a trans woman myself but just a tme yapper on the internet — again im very sorry if any of this comes off as offensive or insensitive, please let me know so i can correct myself if needed.
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