#you can get the fuck out of my house

[sweaterkittensahoy]

When I started crocheting regularly as an adult, it was in 2004 when "Not Your Grandma's" was supposed to be the height of coolness, and it pissed me off so much and still does because I learned from my grandma. Every stitch I make is my grandma's. Why is it so fucking important to disconnect my grandmother from my art? And why are we trying so fucking hard to instill the idea that our grandmother's way of stitching was less cool or interesting or engaging as how we do it?

Sean's grandma passed this year, and I am now the very proud owner of some really lovely embroidery and crochet pieces for the house. They're not uncool or silly or stupid. They're useful items that were made beautiful by the patience, care, skill, and talent of a woman. Who was younger than I am now when she made at least some of them (there's a whole set of table runners that just scream hope chest).

And these items are USEFUL to boot. That blanket? Keeps you warm. Those doilies? Keep grime from building up under the lamp and sticking to the table.

I'm not immune to the "Huh, silly thing people used to do" take, for the record. I've only recently realized that maybe our grandmothers' (and parents' in my case bathrooms) have fuzzy toilet covers and fuzzy floor mats because it catches all the goddamn toilet paper fuzz in the air, and it's faster to vacuum the fuzzy toilet lid cover and rugs than it is to dust all that goddamn paper fluff off surfaces and then sweep it up and hope half of it didn't end up back on the shelf.

But also, all of the crafts mentioned in the article were about making a home more beautiful. The home was the woman's sphere, and it was her job amongst many to make it an attractive and nice place to be. And in treating fiber arts like you must get away from your grandmother's influence, you are treating the home she built for herself and her family as dismissible and not worth respect.

In the end, it comes down to the dismissal of skilled labor because it was a woman doing it at home. Even if that work kept the family fed (lacework has saved a lot of lives in particular). Even if it kept the family warm (slippers, blankets, jackets, sweaters, mittens, scarves, hats), even if it kept the family house neater (how much dust did those doilies soak up so it was easier and faster to clean the whole house?), even if it kept the family looking respectable (my grandmother once darned my mother's canvas band shoe than buy her a new pair; favorite story). Even if it kept the family safe (potholders and hot pads).

Because this skill was used to help a family and done up in popular styles of the time, it's devalued and ignored. When, in fact, all it takes for any of those items to be of the moment again is usually just a color update.

This all day long … Elena Kanagy-Loux's article is right-on. I myself have made it a point in recent years not to share any content that glibly uses the phrase, "not your grandma's " because it's a) lazy and b) dismisses the real fact that grandmothers and older textile artists have worked hard to keep craft traditions alive and evolving, not to mention their immense skills. We should be thanking them and looking to them for inspiration, not mocking them. via @hyperallergic ❤️

[puppppppppy]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

[cecoeur]

How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad

[demadogs]

some of you need to hate ai way more than you currently do

[heavenlyascent]

You can tell what the ship war/Tifa vs Aerith/Whose the “True” Heroine/Love of FF7 is about because it never includes Barret, despite him being a romance candidate (even IF the OG boiled it down to one big antiblack gay joke), or Yuffie (thankfully because of her age though I shutter to think how she would have been treated if she was an older, viable candidate), or Zack despite his bond with Cloud, or Jessie for that matter. All these are background elements to the ongoing fight over who is the default love interest and thus true love of Cloud.

Which is boiled down to, which one of these women are meant for this man.

It doesn't care that Final Fantasy 7 is a world-spanning story about humanity, genocide, imperialism, and trauma. It ignores that while Cloud is ultimately our main character, it's a story of an entire cast of main characters who are just as important to the ever moving plot as Cloud.

And really, as it insults Tifa and Aerith by trying to suggest one's story is more "important" than the other, it also insults Barret by completely ignoring that his efforts are the instigating factors OF the story and that the running theme of saving the planet? Is because Barret was the first one to scream it in the narrative. It ignores Yuffie's and Red XIII's fight to preserve their dying cultures in a world that actively wants to destroy them for the sake of capitalism. It ignores Cid as someone whose dreams were crushed by capitalism and become so consumed by his pain, he hurt everyone around him. It ignores how Vincent played an active role in Sephiroth's birth and the core corruption of Shinra.

And I think it absolutely misses the theme of FF7 and Cloud in general. Cloud loves everyone. He loves all his friends. If the Remakes and Rebirth did anything, it put on display that there's not one single person that Cloud loves--but all those he has met. Yes, he loves Tifa and loves Aerith and maybe in one or both, he has romantic feelings for them but he clearly loves Barret, Red XIII, Yuffie, Zack, Jessie, Bigs, Wedge, Reeve/Cait, and--as we'll see later--Cid and Vincent.

If any of them died, Cloud would have been devastated. Aerith is special and he mourns her in a specific way because she's AERITH. Not because she's the ONE. SHE'S AERITH. Irreplaceable just like Tifa, just like Barret, just like Yuffie, just like Red XIII, just like Zack, and Cait/Reeve, Cid, and Vincent.

For the last near 30 years, the ship wars have rewrote Cloud's intense love for the people around him as just a heteronormative love story and it's gross.

None of the characters deserve that, but specifically Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith who are so much more than players in a stupid love triangle.

[introspectivememories]

[jajanvm-imbi]

Hey remember when I said that this was the most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer?

Yeah I was wrong.

The most frustrating thing about being a Helluva Boss enjoyer is explicitly stating multiple times that I like show and then get called an anti and homophobic and media illiterate when I complain about the direction it has taken.

I LIKE the comedy

I LIKE the animation and artstyle

I LIKE the more serious plotlines like the government agents plot and the Cherubs plot

I LIKE the themes of friendship and found family

I even like most of the songs!

And ofc the voice cast slays every time

But just because your show has angst and tears and drama and sad music doesn't automatically make it "good".

Just because your characters are queer doesn't automatically make them good or well written characters

This fandom is so frustrating to deal with when you want to express your more nuanced takes of it

This is probably gonna be the last post I make about this subject and about Helluva Boss in general, this shit is too stupid to deal with

[bluebellhairpin]

I'm not even joking when I tell you that a clip of this scene from the last episode of house of the dragon season 1 is what got me to watch ALL of house of the dragon AND game of thrones. it was chilling, and epic, and frightening, and the first time I saw it made me feel a little sick.

[beargregor]

Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪

gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting

[hawnks]

Everyone thinks they can write a romance novel. Scratch that. They think they can write a romance novel better than all the other romance novels. Because of course they can. Romance is trite. It’s trashy. It’s simple.

Everyone thinks they can write a romance novel until they actually sit down to write one.

Because the people who disparage the genre are too embarrassed to engage deeply with the ideas that build the work, to make any meaningful commentary on anything, to add to any on-going conversations. They’re hovering above it all, too precious to land. Instead of writing a romance novel, they’re writing a novel that insists they’re beyond all of this, that says romance is beneath them, it’s not worthy of them.

So they end up with a parody of what they think romance is. I.e. they have written a bad romance novel.

I think it’s true that anyone can write romance. Anyone can do any of the cringey, heart-on-your-sleeve art. In fact, the hardest part is beginning.

Step one: You have to love the thing you’re making.

[alongtidesoflight]

i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts

[fried-manto]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[xxplastic-cubexx]

oh im sorry can i help you im trying Not to think of my wife thanks

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[thetrinitytest]

if ianto jones (NOT gareth david-lloyd. actual ianto jones) walked through your door and said he wasnt dead and he needed a kidney and you were the only match what would you do

i am holding his face in my hands, kissing that man on the forehead, and asking him if he wants the left or right one