#you are not your past

[thepeacefulgarden]

[starryvomit]

i was taught from a very young age that the world is not safe.

[ivebeensetonfire]

[oncamelliastreet]

ik literally no one cares about advice from a random teenage girl on tumblr but it’s three am and im thinking about the worst things that i’ve ever done, and i wanted to share this quote i read once:

one of the problems with gen z is the mindset created by the internet that you have to wear your mistakes like a brand

it’s stuck with me since i read it, because i have made mistakes and done stupid things, and it still keeps me up to this day! it’s keeping me up right now! but it really helps me to thought-block by repeating this to myself. “you don’t have to wear your mistakes like a brand”. you can make mistakes but you shouldn’t let them plague you for the rest of your life. learn from them and grow, rather than letting yourself become sick with guilt over something stupid you did as a teenager.

probably no one is gonna read this, but on the off chance one of my mutuals sees this and is going through something similar, please remember that you are not your mistakes, you’re allowed to grow, and i’m here to talk if you ever need to rant about shit. 🫶🏻 i love you my little flower friends

[dearjewels22]

my favorite movie.

Anastasia.

[astrogirlythings]

My PCOS journey:

Vulnerabilities and all.

The biggest problem with new age women's health issues is that even many women fail to empathize with them. How can we expect men to empathize with women's health?

When I talk about women's health I don't mean "PERIODS" or "PTSD Post pregnancy" or "MENOPAUSE".. There are so many health issues that are not being talked about enough (at least from where I'm from 😒). Starting with a few - PCOS, PCOD, Thyroid, Hormonal imbalance and other lifestyle diseases. Not to mention that they have no cure and the only solution we have is to manage it and its symptoms.

While fighting with its symptoms.. one of the biggest things that helped me overcome my PCOS and Hormonal imbalance is some much needed moral support. Of course strength training, diet, 8 hours of sleep, managing stress and having a positive mind too.. but being surrounded by those who make an effort to understand ur health is a blessing.

I suffered excessive hair loss and weight gain and as a woman I've been constantly reminded that those "Assets" (Head full of hair and a slim figure) are the only things that add value to me and my existence.. and it's messed up how even the most educated are unaware about women's health.

Truth be told, I've spent years of my life picking up my pieces and reconstructing myself emotionally, mentally and physically. The sleepless nights I had were consumed by me obsessing about my body, its image and how it was perceived by everyone around me. The world has successfully convinced me that I am nothing without this so called "Perfect body". I lost many opportunities because of my negative body image. Deep down I knew that I am smart, creative, funny, kind and I am also known to be a good friend. But people succeeded in making me feel less than what I am.

As I write this, I want to convey that you are not alone. I believe that I am not the only one feeling this way.

Being surrounded by people who truly make an effort to understand ur health and ur erratic mood swings (because of ur health) is a huge blessing.. God knows that I want that in my life. Everyone wants to feel empathised and if u don't have someone that empathises with ur health.. I hope my empathy towards women's health helped u.

I am now 27 years old and I have finally succeeded in managing my PCOS symptoms (Physical and mental symptoms) after struggling with them for the past 9 years. Yup.. I lost most of my 20s to PCOS and I am cautiously optimistic that the struggle is over now. And even if it comes back.. at least I know how to deal with it.

[ae-cha08]

Don't let people label you.

They cant stop what God has ordained for your life. The only person who can stop you is you. You may have failed, but ur not a failure. That was a moment in your life, that was one season, and it doesnt determine your future.

You cant stop others from putting a negative label on you, but you can take it right off.

"I'm not defined by my mistakes. I'm defined by what God says about me. I am forgiven. I am redeemed. My failures are in my yesterday".

[contentment-of-cats]

You can't go home again

A therapist told me that the desire to accumulate items from your childhood, or even buy your childhood home, represent a kind of grief and loss. In my mother's case, she insisted that I leave my childhood items at home to 'keep them safe' - and then she used them against me. She ultimately threw them all out, especially the ones from my grandmothers, or the ones I bought myself with kid-labor money. I grieved the loss for a long time. She and my aunts made sure I had nothing of my grandmother's except photos, and I held onto those despite being asked to 'share' - give them to my extended family.

I looked and found my childhood home is on the market. It's been changed into a colorless trendy box for storing people. Everything is grey, white, or beige. There is nothing left of the place it was when Gran lived there, filled with color and art, lively and graceful - built by an impoverished WW1 refugee girl from Scotland who came up struggling, and was robbed and railroaded by her own kids.

It's to be expected. The safety was illusory, the comfort tenuous, and the bad memories - now that I am an adult and Mom is dead - outweigh the good memories. I miss objects associated with good memories, but they are dispersed and will never find them. The memories, good and bad, go with me still.

I did correct some of the information. The home was built in 1969, not 1972. We moved in that August - the deed is still in Mom's things. There were no numbers on the homes pre-911. It was the green house on the south side of the street between the vacant lot and the Colonial era stone bridge. Gran's gardening efforts are still there in the hedges, the flowering dogwood, the array of tulips and daffodils, hydrangea and apple trees.

Maybe that's the memory I want to take with me the most.

[qualifiedaquarian]

[thepeacefulgarden]

[lazylittledragon]

let's hear it for women's wrongs

[thepeacefulgarden]

[egophiliac]

I'm still processing 7-13, in the meantime have this super quick thing! of all the things that happened that I didn't expect, one of 'em certainly was a not insignificant subplot revolving around Silver unintentionally committing international mail fraud.

[embraceyourdestiny]

to any americans who feel "paralyzed" and "dont know what to do" to help with gaza:

reading a fucking book. i beg of you.

in a time of knowledge suppression is it your duty to arm yourself with knowledge.

read about americas occupations in the middle east.

read about 9/11 from outside of america and see how they inflicted senseless harm and violence to countless amounts of people and have been suppressing your rights for the past 2 fucking decades.

read about any of the countless wars from the past 30 years. especially from a civilian's. and the victims and survivors' perspective. listen to the horror stories and do not plug your fucking ears as to what your country is doing.

and read about fucking gaza and palestine and keep up with what is happening no matter how "sad" or "uncountable" you might get.

dont look away from this.

you dont have the right to be comfortable during countless active genocides.

if you're knowledgeable, you're powerful, and our current state doesnt fucking want that.

you have the power to change things if you open your eyes and scream to the world.

wake the fuck up.

Edit: please check the reblogs there are readings and ways to help

[evilmafuyu666]