#yesterday was a VERY long day
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#my art#Just Plane Monday#plane#clouds#flight#flying#soar#digital art#digital painting#✈️#everyone adjust to daylight savings? 😵💫#yesterday was a VERY long day#alright have a great Monday guys 💖
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#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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🦩Doffytober 2024 Day 11: (the) HATRED (that consumes him)⛓️🦩
Today's prompt was absurdly difficult for me. Even if hatred is a big part of doffy's character, all my ideas were too complex for a quick drawing. Not sure if the message is clear though 😅
#doffytober2024#doffytober 2024#doffytober#doflamingo#donquixote doflamingo#doflamingo fanart#doflamingo one piece#op doflamingo#fanart#one piece#my art#yesterday was a really long day#but somehow I could take time to doddle something#doffytober is killing me I go late to bed and get up very early to finish the prompts T.T
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#MERRY DECEMBER EVERYONE#haven't giffed this christmas ident in a very long time#and i saw someone post it in their story on instagram and i was like :O!!!#i wore a christmas sweater to work today!!! IT BEGINS#oh and since i didn't give you a tag update yesterday... it was not a snow day yesterday :'(#ANYWAYS when will they bring back the dw christmas specials!!!!
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i think the thing that pisses me off most about the shitty dutch joost fangirls I've had the misfortune of interacting with is
they're bullies
they behave like bullies, they treat other people like shit, they're rude and unfriendly, they make fun of people they don't like
they. are. bullies.
and how are you gonna be a fan of a man who in his music and outside of it has been so vocal about being bullied in his youth for being different, a man who has implied that he's autistic as well, who's obviously not comfortable with this specific type of behavior, whose language you FUCKING SPEAK??? how are you gonna call yourself a fan of someone like him and then turn around and bully fans like me, fans that are autistic, fans that have strange interests (shipping), fans that you consider different, you think are weird?? how are you then doing the EXACT thing he's been so vocal about fucking him up too to other fans
they don't listen to him at all, not his lyrics, not his words, not his writing. they just have their perfect little joost shaped barbie doll in their mind and they have never even taken a second to get to know him at all.
#my anger still hasn't faded fully but also I've just been thinking about it a lot#if joost wasn't their idol. he would be their victim#and in a way he already is#sorry for being vague about what happened yesterday i had a very long day and it was my birthday today hxbdhdsh so i was busy
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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ✍️
Tagged by @diazsdimples @giddyupbuck and @wikiangela. Thank you lovelies mwah 😘
Have a little something from LA Lonely -> this is after the fun and orgasms of Buck and Eddie’s hook up. Still don’t know if I’m going to go full spice 🌶️ or just do a quick little run down of things.
Prev snippet & mood board here
Buck expects him to start pulling his clothes on and to give him the whole “this was fun, but I gotta bounce” speel, but Eddie surprises him by climbing back into bed and nudging Buck to roll onto his side so Eddie can scoot up behind him and hold him.
Buck freezes for a moment because no one does this. They have their fun and then they leave. They don’t stay and they definitely don’t cuddle.
Eddie must feel him go tense because his hold loosens and he moves as if he’s about to pull away. “Is this okay?”
Buck grabs at the arms that are wrapped around him, stopping Eddie’s descent. “Y-yeah. It’s-it’s okay.” He pulls at Eddie’s arms and the man settles back behind him, burrowing his face into the juncture where Buck’s neck meets his shoulder as he shuffles closer.
Soft kisses are pressed into his skin and Buck is helpless but to relax back into Eddie, letting the comfort and warmth of whatever is happening wrap around him.
“Stay?” He whispers, not sure if Eddie can hear him but not being brave enough to say it any louder. He feels like he’s asking too much.
A kiss behind his ear. “Okay.”
No pressure tagging: @hippolotamus @puppyboybuckley @exhuastedpigeon @spotsandsocks @devirnis @wikiangela @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @mellaithwen @nmcggg @lover-of-mine @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @bekkachaos @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @weewootruck @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rewritetheending @rainbow-nerdss @captain-hen @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @glorious-spoon @fortheloveofbuddie @fiona-fififi @disasterbuckdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @theotherbuckley @steadfastsaturnsrings @tizniz @athenagranted @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @spagheddiediaz @sunshinediaz and as always, anyone else who wants to share something -> consider this your tag ☺️
#daffi writes#wip: la lonely#buddie wip#buddie#besides posting yesterday I’ve been a bit quiet with wip tag games.#There’s some heavy shit going on in part of my extended family which has emotionally sucker punched me and my husband#Creative energy is running on exhaust fumes which makes me sad cos I felt like I’d just gotten my rhythm back.#so when this idea hit me and some words flowed … I ran with it#I’m still tip tap tying away Rivals 🚒. It’s just going slower than I want#even this new wip is going slower than I want#but hey I can’t rush things and my brain is doing its best right now#*kisses brain gently*#I’m trying to look after me and I hope you’re trying to look after you as best you can which can look different day to day#you’re doing amazing and ily ❤️#okay I’ve finished my very long speel in the tags xx#ps. please keep tagging me in things .. I love supporting and cheering on my pocket pals 🥰
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I hope the statuesque head empty goddess and her dirt gremlin girlfriend are having a nice day
They are living their best life B*)
(original pose)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#equineswap au#xiao pingguo#lan wunian#I've had this ask sitting in my inbox for so long and I wanted to use it as a way to segue back to round 2 of equineswap...#This pose was my *nemesis* though. This is attempt number *four*.#It is far from perfect but I am content enough to finally post it B'*)#Life got busy and this meme is somewhat dead now - but I am doing necromancy to bring it back because it fits them very well.#I miss lil wang dearly. I will feed myself if I must#Also: I heard it was lesbian visibility day yesterday and who am I if not a warrior for the lesbians?#Lets go lesbians!!!
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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins
#origins smp#i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo#otubbo#oranboo#beeduo fanart#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY#DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM#IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h#ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its#been wayyyyyyy too long#BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise#bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop#yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really#wanted to share ok i love you bge#WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED#RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like#water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT#ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I#VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB#OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be#Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON#SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub#lic had to say.... ok Now bye
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Pet au: How would the brothers react to an owner who wants to help them bath?
Lucifer: No. Absolutely not. Lucifer is usually pretty obedient, but seeing him naked is something he won't allow. He hates being without his clothing, hates showing any skin. He knows that he's not in his prime and wouldn't want you to see him naked. He'll even lock the door when he's taking a bath because he doesn't want you walking in.
If you insist, then Lucifer is extremely uncomfortable. His knees are up, and he's crouching to try and hide as much skin as possible. Looking at you with an expression that tells you that he just wants to get this over with. He might even snap at you to hurry up if he thinks you're dragging this out.
You can try to coo and compliment him, but he'll only give you a scowl in return. Do not do this if you want to build trust with him. If you respect his wishes and let him bathe alone, he might ask you for help preening his wings after his bath.
Mammom: flushes a deep red when you suggest that you're going to help him bath. "Wh-why do ya want to do that?! I can bathe myself, ya know!" He insists, but he doesn't put up too much of a fight if you insist.
He's very embarrassed when he realizes that you're going to see him naked and will try to argue that he should bathe in his clothing. "It's a two for one deal! Now ya don't gotta do laundry!" When that doesn't work, he gets into the tub. At first, he'll try and act all cool and like he's unbothered that you're seeing him at his most vulnerable. He'll try and be self-sufficient, scrubbing his own body and trying to insist that he can wash his own hair.
But the warm water relaxes his muscles, and soon, he's only half protesting as you run your fingers through his hair. Mammon can't help but relax into your touch. No matter how closed off your relationship is, Mammon becomes absolutely boneless in your care. Will whine and pout if you try to move away to grab the conditioner. He does not want to leave the tub, even when he's a raisin and the water has gone cold.
When he finally comes back to his senses after the bath, he's extremely embarrassed and will avoid you for a day or two, but after that, he's asking when his next bath is.
Levi: is immediately blushing the second the word "bath" leaves your mouth. He very obviously doesn't want you to see him naked, but is too skittish to actually say anything. Levi already needs help with cleaning his tail, and you two do that when he's fully clothed. He's already absolutely mortified during that, so he doubts that he'll survive you seeing him naked!
When you two get into the bathroom, he will try to stall for as long as possible. Sometimes, he's standing completely still, not even breathing, in the hopes that you'll get bored and leave. When he's finally naked and in the tub, he's curling up into the tightest ball. When you tell him to close his eyes when you rinse, he doesn't open them until the bath is over.
The only way to get him to relax, after many, many stressful baths, is to bring anime into bathtime. You get anime themed bath toys and even play anime on your laptop that's sitting on the bathroom countertop. The anime helps. He can't keep his eyes closed when there's anime to watch. The bath toys make him more active during bathtime, as he quickly starts to explain the plot of the anime the toys are from. Soon, he's playing out scenes and rambling about characters and their arcs. After a few baths, Levi whines when you try to get him out of the bathtub, pleading for just one more episode.
Satan: You kinda have to help him bathe when you first get him because he's never been in a bathroom before. Whenever he got too dirty at the ring, his handlers would hose him down from outside his cage. So, working a shower nozzle? Using soap? All new concepts to him. He finds that he feels embarrassed when you bathe him. He doesn't understand why - he's been naked in front of handlers countless times before.
Getting his clothes off is easy. What Satan struggles with is the concept of sitting down in water. He doesn't understand how this is an effective way to get clean. Aren't you sitting in your own filth? You have to explain to him that most people aren't actually that dirty when they bathe and that the soap cleans all of the dirt. The first time you bathe him, he's actually dirty enough that you gotta refill the bath a few times.
When he gets settled and the bath water stays clear, Satan finds himself relaxing into the warm water. He expected that water to be freezing cold, as the water was only ever freezing when his handlers used the hose, so he wasn't looking forward to having to sit in freezing cold water. So the warm water is definitely a surprise, but an incredibly pleasant one.
He can't help but relax in the tub, even when he's still unsure about his place in his home, and the relationship you two are fostering, the warm water washes alway all concerns. As the water seeps into his bones and softens him, he can't help but lean into your gentle touch as you scrub through his hair and whine a soft trill whenever you smile at him.
Asmo: he's immediately all for it when you bring it up. He's always looking for a way to show you his best assets, and this will be a perfect opportunity! He doesn't understand that you're not looking for that kind of bath, even when you insist, multiple times, that you're not going to sleep with him.
He still doesn't believe you and is extremely confused when you don't get into the bath with him. Well, no matter, he can still show you what he was made to do as you scrub his hair. Maybe he can convince you to join! Maybe this whole thing is a test! Yet when you pay his flirting no mind, when you look away to grab a bar of soap when he flutters his eyes lash at you, Asmo starts to get a little worried.
The bath can either go two ways: Asmo slowly gets more and more stressed as you don't pay attention to him the way he's expecting. Until he's breaking down and begging you to just get it over with and fuck him. Or he settles down and lets himself get pampered, and relishes in all the products he gets to chose from. The trick to get the former instead of the latter is complimenting Asmo. If you make it seem like you still like him, and that you're just trying to get him to look his prettiest (for you, his mind fills in for him) then he has a must better time letting himself relax and enjoy himself. Even if you refuse to get into the bath Asmo will still try to convince you to wear a face mask.
Beel: He actually prefers that you're there. When he was with his previous owners the only way for him to get clean was when one of them washed him down with the hose. He also never had a reason to go inside his own owner's house, so he's never been inside of a bathroom before. So he's quite nervous about accidently breaking something.
When you get him into the bathroom Beel is quite nervous. He feels too large, no matter the size of your bathroom. Your presence calms him down a bit, at least if you're here he can simply stand off to the side and let you turn the shower nozzle. If he touched that on his own he'll probably break it. When he realizes that he's going to have to get naked to get into the bathtub he gets a little bashful. He never had a reason to get naked in front of his previous owners, so he'll ask if you can turn around when he takes off his clothes. It doesn't matter if you're going to see him naked anyway, for some reason him stripping off his clothes while you stand there watching him is just too embarrassing for the gentle giant.
Beel tries to make himself as small as possible in your bathtub. No matter how big it is. It has less to do with you seeing him naked, and move about him accidentally taking up too much space, or getting in your way. When you get him bathing him he actually gets a little exicted, as everything is so new to him. I hope you're using baby shampoo because Beel doesn't understand the concept of closing his eyes when you rinse. When you get into the rhythm of scrubbing his hair, rinsing, and repeat, Beel actually feels himself relaxing. The warm water is relaxing muscles he didn't even know was sore, and your touch is so gentle. He actually forgets about his rumbling stomach for a while as he leans into your touch.
Belphie: if you two built up a good relationship than he's fine with you bathing you. He'll probably fall asleep the moment he lays down in the warm water. You have to remind him to stay awake, or else he might accidentally drown a bit. It's not his fault! The water is just so warm and soothing, and aren't you his owner? Isn't it your job to make sure he's safe and doesn't drown? Belphie immediately falls back asleep after making this argument. You have to get one of those baby float things for Belphie's neck when he's in the bath. It paints kind of a ridiculous picture, but Belphie doesn't care. The bath is relaxing, but you can't take your eye off of Belphie for too long.
If you two haven't built up a good relationship! Nope. No gonna happen. He's not going to be vulnerable around a human. Hissing at you when you mention the idea, and says that he's not going to go in the bath with you. Unlike Lucifer, who will only verbally deny you, Belphie will actively fight you if you try to force him into the bath. You have to practically drag him kicking and screaming into the bathroom. It's the most energized he's been in a while, but he's not getting into the bathtub without a fight.
Getting his clothes off is basically impossible when he's fighting you, so you have to bath him when he's still wearing most of his clothing. When he's actually in the bath he's scratching you and throwing bottles of soap at you. It's less about him being naked, and more not give you what you want.
Even if you back off after mentioning the bath, Belphie becomes extremely suspicious of you and will start locking the door whenever he's in the bathroom.
#obey me#obey me pet au#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me Belphie#my post#sorry. i know this is a little late. yesterday was just a verrrrry long day and i kinda passed out when i got home lol#very surprised this won the poll! i thought for sure the ABO post would win!#the poll actually motivated me to finally post this lol#im kinda falling back in love with the pet au again. will probably do more of this#so if you have any suggestions or requests i will love to have them!
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I was tagged by @kladivonacarodejnice to post a selfie! Thanks 😊
This is me yesterday like 4am waiting to do a 10k run at Disney.
Im gonna tag @justsomeartgeek @chalice-of-time @chubabub @betweenthefairiesandme @macabremusings @morbidmacabremin @daedradevotee @short-nsweet and anyone else who wants to do this.
#tagged#me#this was yesterday and i was away for almost 20 hours since i had to be up at 2am for this#it was a very long day#it was so much fun tho#and i am not the biggest fan of running
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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#yesterday i had this moment where i cried so much and so hard in a way i haven't cried in so long#it was a moment of pure soul crushing grief. it was like i had lost my dog already. i felt like i was never gonna see her again#(she's still here. tired and sick and currently sleeping. being very loved. still here.)#i was talking to my mom and sister a couple of hours ago and they said they had a moment like that too yesterday#and i think for me that was an extremely difficult but necessary moment of acceptance#in that crying i let go of my fear and denial and fully accepted that there is no getting better this time. she will be gone soon.#and god animals are so very sensitive aren't they? because it's like my other two dogs know too.#it's like thay had that moment of acceptance as well. they were so quiet yesterday. they didn't eat all day.#it's unbearably painful. i'm extremely sad and my heart is shattered. but i'm glad that i'm at peace#no dog has ever been as happy and as loved as she has been her entire life. i'm sure of it. and me and my family are going to be okay.
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tearing up over the bridge of on my way? no. shut up
#feeling very#it's not like what i'd imagined when i was a child#the older i get the less i understand. there's days i hate from the bottom of my heart and there's nights i'm too anxious to sleep#i still can't forget what happened that day#i still can't forgive the me of yesterday#trying my best to#but there's times when you have to hold up the people who've been supporting you all this time#if i can say all that what'm i hesitating for?#how long'm i gonna do this for?#inside my head look at the world around me#i can see that the road ahead is long#when it feels like i'm about to go crazy... step by step let's move forward okay!#man i don't think i can necessarily water/aroma therapy my way outta this one guys#valiant posting
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