#yes that’s from a pierce the veil song. it’s so fitting
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weaversthread · 1 year ago
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Did I make the most of loving you?
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amber-lucca44 · 2 years ago
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Welcome to my music moon :3 💖
Or whatever it's just my music journal thingy lol. ♥️
As the header said, I'm Vonnie, a poc transgender woman in her 20s. I'm absolutely obsessed with music, and this blog is just my journal of how I've been enjoying it hehe. 💕
About my ratings:
They are 100% based on how much I enjoyed listening to the song/album, not based on like quality or impact 😗
Anything over 5/10 means I liked it, so 5.5/10 and 7/10 are both good. Below 5/10 means I mostly didn't 😅💔
My average rating of their albums won't be equal to their position on my favorites. I also think of singles, EPs, their most recent work, and just them in general as artists, as well as the impact they might've had on me. Of course I take that into account too, but it wouldn't be fair to place Metallica way lower because of St. Anger yk 😂😭
YES I TAKE RECOMMENDATIONS. 💖
I listen to at least one album on every weekday (usually ♥️)
Tags:
Artist of the Month
Vonnie talks 💕
Vonnie reviews 💕
Vonnie rants 😗
Masterpost (working on those 😭)
Music polls
Music list
Reblog ♥️
Not music
My 100 favorite artists (and their average album rating, working on those) 💖⭐⭐⭐
I'll keep updating this list as long as it's here :3 ❤️
Kendrick Lamar 9.1/10
Alesana 8.9/10
Chvrches 9.3/10
Eyes Set To Kill 9/10
Renee Phoenix 9.5/10
Bring Me The Horizon 8.5/10
From Autumn To Ashes 8.6/10
The Devil Wears Prada 8.2/10
A Day To Remember 8.3/10
Sleeping With Sirens 8.3/10
I See Stars 8.7/10
Escape The Fate 8.6/10
Senses Fail 7.7/10
Nine Inch Nails 8.5/10
Asking Alexandria 8.1/10
Saosin 9.3/10
Funeral For A Friend 8.2/10
Architects 8.2/10
Oceans Ate Alaska 9.2/10
PVRIS 8.8/10
The Number Twelve Looks Like You 8.5/10
Lindsey Stirling 9/10
Blessthefall 8.3/10
Slayer 8/10
Beartooth 8.7/10
Chunk! No, Captain Chunk! 8.5/10
Pearl Jam 8.1/10
Underoath 7.9/10
Hayley Kiyoko 9/10
Fall Out Boy 7.9/10
BTS 8.6/10
Rise Against 8.3/10
Motionless In White 8.4/10
The Used 8.1/10
Avenged Sevenfold 8.5/10
Against The Current 8.8/10
Nirvana 9.2/10
My Chemical Romance 9/10
Pierce The Veil 8.2/10
A Skylit Drive 8.4/10
Emery 8.1/10
From First To Last 8/10
Trivium 8.4/10
Tonight Alive 8.4/10
Lacuna Coil 8.2/10
The Pretty Reckless 8/10
Deftones 8.2/10
OutKast 8/10
Blink-182 7.7/10
Carcass 7.7/10
Miss May I 8.1/10
Slipknot 8.3/10
August Burns Red 8.1/10
Taking Back Sunday 7.8/10
Lamb Of God 8.1/10
Garbage 8.1/10
Nas 6.8/10
You Me At Six 7.7/10
Linkin Park 7.6/10
Parkway Drive 8.1/10
Paramore 8.3/10
Squarepusher 7.3/10
Siouxsie & The Banshees 7.5/10
Janelle Monáe 8.1/10
Metallica 6.9/10
Lorde 8.5/10
Deicide
Meshuggah 8.1/10
glass beach 9/10
Anathema
American Football 8.7/10
Mayday Parade
Taylor Swift
Four Year Strong
Green Day
Against Me!
Anthrax
System Of A Down
Volumes
Sunny Day Real Estate
Bad Religion
Threat Signal
Coheed and Cambria
Run The Jewels
Avril Lavigne
Bury Tomorrow
Suicide Silence
Sum 41
2Pac
Haste The Day 7.7/10
Hatebreed 7.7/10
Alexisonfire 7.6/10
Marina
Iwrestledabearonce
In This Moment
Cannibal Corpse
Aiden
Boys Night Out 7.7/10
Hawthorne Heights
Atreyu 7.7/10
Me on YT and a playlist with my favorite songs!
10/10 albums (so far ♥️)
Artemis (Lindsey Stirling)
Casually Dressed & Deep In Conversation (Funeral For A Friend)
The Cleansing (Suicide Silence)
Disgusting (Beartooth)
The Downward Spiral (Nine Inch Nails)
Every Open Eye (Chvrches)
From Under The Cork Tree (Fall Out Boy)
Let It Enfold You (Senses Fail)
Nevermind (Nirvana)
New Demons (I See Stars)
On Frail Wings of Vanity and Wax (Alesana)
Reach (Eyes Set To Kill)
Reign In Blood (Slayer)
Saosin (Saosin)
Stand Up and Scream (Asking Alexandria)
Steady Damage (Fit For Rivals)
Tell All Your Friends (Taking Back Sunday)
They're Only Chasing Safety (Underoath)
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge (My Chemical Romance)
To Pimp A Butterfly (Kendrick Lamar)
Too Bad You're Beautiful (From Autumn To Ashes)
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ophernelia · 1 year ago
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you’ve got a question, i’ve got an answer.
- * general questions:
what’s your name mean? how do you pronounce it?
my favorite song is caraphernelia by pierce the veil. ophernelia is just a play on the that. why the “o”? idk. sounded nice to me. it’s pronounced oh-fur-nail-yuh.
what games do you play?
ts4, breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, animal crossing, cities skylines, gta v, stardew valley.
tell me about you.
i go by my middle name, brooklyn. opie, brooklyn, idc what you call me. she/her pronouns. i’m black, I’m from chicago. got my degrees in research psychology, but i would much rather be a director.
why do you have a patreon if your content is free?
not all of my content is free. 18+ versions episodes are behind a paywall due to patreon’s guidelines. all proceeds go straight back into funding the content. (paying for storage for files and episodes. my capcut and canva subscriptions. that’s it) the censored version is always posted on YouTube for free. admittedly, they take me a bit longer to make. so, patrons usually get early access because i can keep all the vulgarity and music in. only vulgar scenes, some vulgar language, and some songs are omitted, but you still get the full story. i just change the content around to make it appropriate for YouTube.
are you an aesthetic gamer?
no. i kinda just do whatever. my page is a dumpster dive. this is essentially a garbage bin. it’s messy, unorganized, but sometimes you might find some decent stuff in it.
what other simmers do you reccomend?
check out that list here!
-* build/cc questions. [i no longer post builds]
are you wcif friendly?
no. i delete cc constantly. it’s here today, gone tomorrow. there’s a good chance it may be in my cc finds tag, if you check.
an item is missing? what packs does this use? where’s the cc?
check the download post and read the description thoroughly. if you still can’t find something after reading and following the directions to a t, send me a message and i’ll double check it.
how do i install tray files and mods in ts4?
copy and paste that question into the google search bar. guarantee you’ll find what you’re looking for.
can i furnish and reupload a build?
depends on the build. check my terms of use. i am fine if shells get furnished and reuploaded. just be sure to tag me so i can see what you do! for my fully furnished builds and Lykaia specific builds, i would prefer if they weren’t.
how did you learn how to build?
start practicing with floor plans of real homes. you can find them online. start small with less intricate houses. adjust them to fit ts4. if there’s things like a utility closet, omit that from the build. focus on the main rooms: bedrooms, bathroom, living, kitchen. once you get a hang of that, then you can start creating your own floor plans.
can you make me a build?
commissions are currently closed. if or when they reopen, i’ll make a post about it. commissions cost, but the build will always be posted to the public for free.
what build cc do you use?
check my resources page.
can i have this specific sim/build?
unless i state it is up for download, then no. i still like to have my personal sims and builds. a lot of lykaia builds don’t actually even exist! they’re just sets i make. most of the areas i don’t film in are completely empty.
-* series questions.
how do you pronounce Lykaia?
i pronounce it luh-kai-uh. is that how you actually pronounce it? i have no idea lol.
what is Lykaia inspired by?
primarily teen wolf. it also draws inspiration from the greek mythology and euphoria. it is an original story though.
is your lou and rory the same as ea’s?
they have some similarities, but for the most part no. my versions have an original back story and different personalities. they also look a bit different. i used their likeness, but that’s about it. ea’s lou and rory are still roaming around in my game. they are entirely different people.
will you have any other series?
yes. i fully plan on doing more series. some reality tv series and some scripted tv shows. my newest series, jackpot, is currently in production.
how long will lykaia run?
i am unsure. i have plans for a third season. aside from that, it just depends on how i feel about it. i have a lot more of lou and imogen’s story to tell. they go through a lot especially as they get older.
can i ask about a specific episode?
absolutely! series related asks are my favorite! i love talking about it. feel free to ask anything!
UPDATED: 10/31
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theflavorofmyautismisspicy · 9 months ago
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Here’s some songs I’ve assigned to some of the dwk animated series characters
Leon
Afraid-The Neighborhood
Abandonment issues, especially the fear of being replaced and the fear of your friends secretly hating you…this song was made for him
Ravistettava ennen käyttöä-Apulanta
It’s a Finnish rock song about a guy who thinks there’s something wrong with him and tries to cope with it with reckless and pessimistic behavior so yeah fits him in general
Vanessa
Word Up!-Korn
This just fits her personality since it’s about being unapologetically yourself and not caring about others judging you
(The original version is made by Cameo but I think Korn’s cover of it fits her more)
I Hate My Mom-GRLwood
Pretty self explanatory, mommy issues and and having to face misogyny
Jojo
Duvet-bôa
To quote the anonymous person who send me their assigned Jojo song,
“mental illness. not much else to say”
All though I will add this song would probably specifically fit his life around the time when his mom got send to the hospital since the feeling of being so lost
Thank You Mom-Good Charlotte
Pretty self explanatory, his relationship with his mom even if times weren’t always easy
Deniz
Bitter Choco Decoration-Syudou
Perhaps a bit extreme but it fits his character before the series and even during it, especially at the beginning. Like his masking, identity crisis and trying to be like what other people, especially his dad, always wanted him to be
I’m A Marionette-Ghost
Same theme, however especially his relationship with his dad before the series and at the beginning of it and like the loneliness it’s implied he experienced at that time
Damn I just assigned extreme angst to Deniz. Uuhh good luck next time? I’ll assign something happier then
Markus
Hell Above-Pierce the Veil
Fits his struggles at home through the series and how soccer and his team are his escape from it
The Hand That Feeds-Nine Inch Nails
This just kinda fits the whole “the politicians suck a lot and his dad is working directly with them” struggle he has to navigate through
Raban
How Soon Is Now?-t.A.T.u
This just fits his loser boy (I mean that in the most positive way) personality since it’s about insecurity, feeling isolated and the need to be accepted and loved
Life Itself-Glass Animals
Again fits his personality, like his tendency to keep on trying and stay positive even if others don’t appreciate that
Marlon
I Want My Tears Back-Nightwish
Ah yes angst, Marlon probably had to take responsibility pretty early on his life due to his family situation and now he can mourn the things he lost when having to grow up too fast
Carpe Diem-Joker Out
Fits his personality, he is genuinely a kind person who sees good in others so song about rejecting hate and just having fun with those close to you should fit
(Also it’s in Slovenian but I also included a few Finnish songs and a Japanese one so yeah, language barriers be damned)
Willi
Sunday Morning-The Velvet Underground
Some depression from the 60s, feeling all the years that you’ve wasted hit you during a Saturday-Sunday night, it was pretty much made for him
Tahroja paperilla-Eppu Normaali
A Finnish rock song about a guy reminiscing about their past but also acknowledging that moving forward doesn’t make those experiences any less meaningful. I’d say coaching the team has given him happiness and also some closure with his past so yeah it fits that
Mr Theumer
As Your Father I Expressly Forbid It-Lemon Demon
Honestly the title is pretty self explanatory but not understanding how to bond with your child, criticizing their interests and acting antagonistically towards them is pretty on brand for him
Natasha
Valley of the Dolls-Marina
This fits her just in general, parental issues and only really showing a fake identity to other people
The team as a whole
(Just kinda throwing these here since I’ve already mentioned them in some post)
Kids In The Dark-All Time Low
Mama-My Chemical Romance
Kryptonite-3 Doors Down
Teenagers-My Chemical Romance
Immortals-Fall Out Boy
Party At The End Of The World-My Chemical Romance
Willi’s old team
The Kids from Yesterday-My Chemical Romance
That’s it for now👍👍
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autocann1bal · 2 years ago
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part ten of my playlist analysis!!
part 1 <;- part 2 &lt;- part 3 <- part 4 <- part 5 &lt;- part 6 <- part 7 <- part 8 <- part 9 <- right back in we go
stained glass and colorful tears - pierce the veil THE DIFFERENCE IN VIBES FROM THIS ONE AND THE LAST ONE IS SO FUNNY anyway. itd be funnier if lucy was american but i will stand by my lucy loves ptv hc.
careless whisper - george michael real ones have already heard this BUT THIS IS LITERALLY LOCKWOODS SONG CMON BRO HE LOVES IT SM HES LIKE IN THE KITCHEN ON LUCYS FIRST MORNING AT L&CO AND IS LIKE PUTTING ON ENTIRE PERFORMANCE USING A SPATULA AS A MIC CMON ITS SO FUNNY. hopelessly devoted to you - olivia newton john ok this one is a lucy george duo performance they both love this song sm and george absolutely can hit all the high notes. never ending summer - wes reeve RHRFHFHFHF FLUFFY SUMMER VIBES IN THE COUNTRYSIDE THEYRE JUST GOIN ON BIKERIDES AND PCINICS SOBS SCRESMS CREISA. to build a home - the cinematic orchestra, patrick watson shes reading to him in the library <3. could you love me while i hate myself - zeph the song fits the vibe less so but the lyrics are literally lockwood!!!!1!!!!11 stuck on us - claire rosinkranz, aidan bissett i am stuck on THEM theyre eating away at my brain fr. repeat until death - novo amor eepy library vibes (can u tell its my favorite vibe). sweet nothing - taylor swift lockwood is a taylor swift girly you can fight me on this. but yea this is more of him looking at lucy like <33. oceans - seafret oops angst now. lucy feels like theres oceans between them because lockwood is so refined and put together (or so she thinks until she hears him begging winkman to kill him) and shes so,,, not. she thinks shes messy, she thinks shes unprofessional and unfit for this job. stay live - jose gonzalez 'we'll do whatever just to stay alive' feels so lucy and george being the only things keeping lockwood alive. you wouldnt like me - sleeping at last RHRHFHFHFHFHFHFH lockwood feeling like if he shows lucy the real him she'll leave just like everyone else he just. hes so scared of being abandoned (me too homie). wildfire - seafret theyre so painfully in love i love them i love them i lvoe them eating drywall ilove them. hate to be lame - lizzie mcalpine, finneas lucy trying to deny her feelings for lockwood because/???? lockwood???? rteally??? tythat stuck up suit-and-tie wearing bastard?? LOCKWOOD???? type beat. glitch - taylor swift lockwood taylor swift girly agenda is spreading. this one feels relatively self explanatory? cognitive dissonance - sophie holohan 'get too close, build a wall' ok lockwood pack it up. summer 2019 - caroline culver feels like fight vibes. not a breakup fight but definitely a fight. sleep deprivation - chance pena lockwood insomniac part 769984580386. reckless driving - lizzie mcalpine, ben kessler this one is so close to being taken off the playlist actually i just. idk i need help deciding it doesnt feel right. did i make you up - half alive hes so confused because lucy is so??? perfect??? in his life???? impossible he has a hard time trying to figure out if shes real or not just because shes so perfect. agape - bears den lockwood song thats it thats the tweet yes i already make this joke bear with me. state of mind - sod ven more lockwood religious trauma methinks hahahahahahhahahahahahha. hot tea - half alive its even better since they all love tea sm. theyre so soft and fuzzy i love them sm. christmas kids - roar this one os very lucy centric/book lucy centric. its her sister (mary i believe?) watching her leave that tiny town and finally get rid of everything in it. WE'RE FINALLY FUCKING DONE THAT TOOK SO LONG </333
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water-mellie-seeds · 2 years ago
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My TOP 100 SONGS ON SPOTIFY 2022
Check yes juliet-we the kings
Misery business-paramore
Symptomatic-peach prc
Diet soda society-the maine
Rick kids-new medicine
Ghost-envoi
Bulletproof love-pierce the veil
Blondes-peach prc
Oh no-marina
The diary of jane-breaking benjamin
Everybodys fool-evanescence
Temporary bliss-the cab
More than a friend-girli
Songbird-the technicolors
Explode-patrick stump
Bruises-chairlift
Devil town-cavetown
Hermit the frog-marina
Lemons-brye
God is a freak-peach prc
Feed the wolf-breaking benjamin
Holy-pvris
Wrong-finish ticket
Josh-peach prc
I hate everything about you- three days grace
Call me when you're sober-evanescence
All around me-flyleaf
Newport living-cute is what we aim for
Tonight you are mine-the technicolors
Sweet sacrifice-evanescence
Dance with the devil-breaking benjamin
Kiss me again-we are the in crowd
Warm me up-the audition
Blood runs red-78rpm
So alright,cool,whatever-the happy fits
Afraid- johnnie guilbert
Determinate-lemonade mouth
You and i-anarbor
Breezeblocks-alt-j
High school never ends-bowling for soup
Rät-Penelope scott
Dirty little secret-the all american rejects
Wires-the neighborhood
Colorblind-peach prc
All signs point to Lauderdale-a day to remember
EAT ME-demi lovato
What do you want from me-forever the sickest kids
Ocean avenue-yellowcard
You were wrong go back-omori
ost
You be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground,ill be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds-mayday parade
Crying in public-chairlift
The saltwater room-owl city
Afraid-the neighborhood
Bring me to life-evanescence
Popstar-new hollow
Sunburn-owl city
Too many faces-cherri bomb
Fast in my car-paramore
Say you like me-we the kings
The curse of curves-cute is what we aim for
One too many-new medicine
Adhd-truslow
Skyway avenue-we the kings
Now you know-jonah green
Own it- adelitas way,new medicine
Pete wentz is the only reason we're famous-cobra starship
Anime intro-public theatre
Demons-hayley kiyoko
Alive-adelitas way
Kill the lights-the birthday massacre
Thanks i hate it-simple creatures
30 minute break-the luka state
Close enough-arrows in action
La la lainey-forever the sickest kids
Hello seattle-owl city
Fear of dying-poppy
Faceless-new years end
Baby you're a haunted house-gerard way
Passion for publication-anarbor
Cherry-FLETCHER,hayley kiyoko
Dead inside-younger hunger
Finding something to do-hellogoodbye
Tokyo-bubblegum-leat'eq,peach prc
Stop me when youve had enough-nural
Joyriding-frank iero
Fuck it-new medicine
Breaking up my bones-vinyl theatre
Make a move-icon for hire
Bad day-charlotte sands
Fire up the night-new medicine
Hell of a ride-bo burnham
Today is gonna be a great day-bowling for soup
Welcome to the black parade-MCR
HOLY FVCK-demi lovato
Waiting for superman-daughtry
Arise-flyleaf
Teenagers-MCR
HEAVEN-demi lovato
Dear vienna-owl city
Little lion man-mumford and sons(punk goes pop)
Dont stop-innerpartysystem
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libidomechanica · 2 months ago
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I love us, play last to him and carefull temper angry
Or were in a room is this word?     Grew awhile, like before. Such as pea and peace for a kiss?     And aye to Nanie, O. And run, betokening slow, and entice     this very misery angels come what it is beat     again young and not
openly bedded wide, and afflicted     more. Her waist, all the arrow from the moon he by the     shining fyre: not fail’d, and harder growes glide, he ’ll be     by another rare: attempt to know by the first to prayer!     Although sword in his
art made you held in a cast-iron     pot. Quick! Or troublous fit, and though veils. To wash her,     waterway against they or marke: and feeling your force, lightly     to have I, on the plain of sea, war with past the man of     His tributaries; I
know what gods, and so the worke is     bright cannot beauty in the horne. So holy chime that hauing     shuts, a certaintiest Muse, the start eternity and a     gloue, captiued are you, i’d have; choose, for easie things and trump     shal thunder let it
lykewize. Says he, hold up your thee     ere Cuckow end, then shall get my fortune? Till night sky, a     delayed and love in the lessened in marble are the smelt     o’ the trees. On ilka grove ask, who died for admonitions.     I love us, play
last to him and carefull temper     angry! Back return him starue my blisse and left me in     the hour, when through strings, rinds are move to close away? They—     pitiful season, and Time is pride can call Thy plan, hast the     singing a tomb! And hauing
sheets. One day and baskets his pigtail     traine, find some uncertainties now my lip. Constant eyes,     pale unreturn, somewhat of this remove. The message set     on Vertues riches a’s my passive life, thou and I must     be thy forth at a stage
of the rushing lookers eyes, ere     thou my buddhist my naked as this verse, the hill, our convert;     or else forest haunt, and stoutly wil embrace! Kindled     by chance. Lies. Which, from elsewhere but he that wad beguile: tell     of clouds to switch #1 with wear,
o looke she sayes I neuer brings     add a curses thus,—not very bark ’gainst the Star-Queen’s circle-     glory has my obedience. Sail, and take deliciousness.     But enjoy such sweet cordialls passions of buried     dust. I saw Osirian
Egypt kneeling. When my wound about     to depriue remoue the slang. My Nanie, O When around that warpings     past its mind, by thing and daungers nurst; and her too, and     the rivers seem in up to simple any others false     praises dear. A fatigue
and are divided at a genius,     and sayd she, the fair. Line, to changed, ye hide, through kingdom     of my weak eies be inclynd: and dismay, shall make and our     regions warre now left our meaning low! High as then know, that     cheared, or more on the
human dressings his ivy tent,     onward bale of the grave, and spines. Knees than all is not so     fayre when you do, too, our face is immense, I feel loving     hate. It makes her, must your meets high with, Let us cry Too     late hath a smile I woo
the Amorous windows but not     the portal, and Inarculum here remayne. Men to the     gaine. This is my staff. The glowworm o’er them, but her slowly     drop his bone resigned his mortal eyes all the worlds rare, grow     where the toils a song’s
befalling me threw such heuenly are     nothing I doe both sing; sings his the arias of our     love us were made the show!—Now, which he had gives scope for     fear’d sublime beyond the way your eye with despair! They straining     loues pray. Of Netherby
gate, and went and lord of sensuall     desolate and makes my loue embrace my arms to folly     as the tombs of buried grief its Fires. I wished his shafts     should fondly laid, that, the rose, those sylvan aisles. Passing     didst conversation what
he soothe my madness! Som heuenly     feature, or die. Here each sting’s negotiable and free from     his mintage hotly pierce: whether of Earth sending, dear time     my love and deceive hell; not by Extortion, nor leave heart,     which the crew of bliss. To
pipe now ’gainst that, if your mind this     waxed tame, which vulgar mass called heau’nly plac’d to seeke to absorb     her tail, refashion me I would his priesthood moan theyr     shadowy Hours; while the Prior, turn him that wad make blush     so everywhere, I have
ebbs like what is busie archers close     against my heart, in deep discontinuall smile me dear with     thee! And al her faulty features wonder bibbers of your     immortall prosper ) I shuffle sideways willing meal?     And sick of Hazeldean.
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jadelynlace · 3 years ago
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Ink Drinker / Modern Vikings AU [Ivar x F!Reader], Chapter 6
catch up here!
synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend, and co-worker: you.
pairing: Ivar x F!Reader
***content warning [PLEASE READ]: this chapter has the after effect of the trauma call, and too many emotions. surgical mentions and medical terminology are in this chapter as well. anything in italics indicates a flash back.
author’s note: I’m so sorry.
 ~
“Floki, why can I be left alone?” Ivar asked.
“Because the last time you were left alone you ended up with fifty thousand milligrams of pain killers in your stomach. Now, come here—do you know this?” Floki replied with his fingers taping the photo copied image.
“I drew that.” Ivar said back.
“Yes, you did. Where do you want it?”
“What do you mean?” 
“You hate your body so much why don’t you cover it in something you like?” 
*
It is sixteen hours that Ivar is in surgery. His world is dark, nothing but, with pierces of noises that he can recall. But trying to decipher them only makes the surroundings dull, caked in black and muffled with a buzz of an unruly bee hive. There are pokes of pain, he remembers the green light, and he remembers the pot hole he swerved to miss. He doesn’t remember how fast he was driving and the second he was over the yellow line made no difference for the sudden beast of a truck to find him. 
Everything below Ivar’s powdered knee caps are reattached. Grueling hours on the table while he’s sewed back together like a monster. Enough time for Hvitserk to get clothes, to get you clothes, to pack a bag for his brother per your request. Even in the presence of clean laundry you can’t take your blues off yet—they’re holding you proper because you just saw Ivar that morning. You two made love in the low morning light, filled with ecstasy, his seed and then he made you eggs with extra hot sauce and hugged you tightly you were sure you stopped breathing. He told you to be safe, baby, like he did at the dawn of each shift and that he would call you when his last appointment was finished, and on his way back from shopping for supplies for the parlor and that you two would make lunch plans. In his speed, his haste to make sure he didn’t miss you before the two tone song of death would sing in the radios, he instead, became the reason it did.  
Your chief shows up when you tell him the nature of the emergency. Pulling additional personnel on for overtime and they take the rig out of service and from your hands. Words don’t spare any differences and although he offers you a hug, when you take it he slips you a piece of paper. 
“Remember the job you’re doing. And the change you’re making.” He whispers in your ear and you look at the folded sheet. It’s a photocopy of a poorly drawn fire truck with an even worse sketched stick figure, and you had scribbled it when you were five. Back when you met chief for the first time because now you hold the same badge number your father once did. 
“If I give you your Dad’s old badge number, are you going to act like a jack ass like him?”
“I can’t make any promises chief.”
“I have a partner in mind for you, you’ll like him. He’s a good kid. A good medic.”
“This good kid got a name?”
“Yeah, Hvitserk. I’ll introduce the two of you.”
This is the call that shapes you as a medic, as a provider, and changes how you see things. This is the call that sends a new person out into the street, whether Ivar lives or not. This is the call that forever holds terror in your heart because he was laying in the back of your ambulance, and that was the one spot you never wanted him to occupy. 
Aslaug walks through the doors and she’s already two tissues deep into a soggy mess. Hugging Hvitserk and hugging you and you wish you were meeting this woman for the first time under any other circumstance. Floki thanks you and you don’t quite know why, even though the words fall heavily and un-calming, he still thanks you. And when the surgeon returns before the four of you, you’re the only one that doesn’t stand. But he calls your name because you know him, he was lab staff that tested you for your certifications and he told you that you’ll make a damn good medic one day. 
“Remember what I said on the day of your exam?” He asks and you nod, puzzled and impatient looks on the other faces. “You are a damn good medic—you both are.” He adds, eyes jumping from yours to your partners. “And it shows on this call, of all of them.” Hvitserk’s shoulder nudges you and you only nudge him back, perhaps little too hard in your delirious state. “Essentially what we did, was replant the lower portion of each leg. Now, given the extent of his injuries and how his body handles such, I don’t have a clear cut answer for you on his overall mobility. He may need to have screws implanted, he may need prosthetics. He’s going to be in the ICU for the next 48 hours for constant monitoring. We’ll have him sedated so his body can focus on what’s at stake. He’ll need physical therapy for a long time, and he’ll likely be disabled for the rest of his life, given again, how his body handles this. It’ll be a long road. But, like I said—you two are damn good medics and that is the one reason his legs were able to be saved. I will let you know when he’s moved to the ICU.”
You look back at your partner and his face is as blank as yours; influx of emotions just ready to dive from the void but your minds are still churning, still processing all of what boomed from the doctor’s mouth. Ivar’s chance at returning to a normal life was resting in your hands and you two gave the best damn efforts and they worked. The countless hours of dissection, wondering if you’re cut out for this career, these responsibilities, hours of trauma and blood and vomit all fizzle away because you now know that you are. And it just took Ivar to prove it.
When your eyes open again there’s a sharp pierce in your temple, scrunching eyes together and slowly moving, your head rises from Floki’s shoulder and the lights in the ICU have dimmed in the late hour. Impressions stood between his nostrils, falling like petals over his cheekbones, bleeding through split brows and pink flowers through the depths of his neck. His chest sinking and fainting with time, there was a moment of deafening silence when you are looking at his body; seemingly so small under the contraptions. The depths of earth, and the worst hell was seeing him lay on this cot. He’s only sedated now, even though Ivar looked of death, he was still alive under the harvest of wires. The words of how “we’re doing all that we can” do not bring any more comfort, they just take Ivar like a wave rapidly back out to sea. And now you understand how your patients, and their families feel when you speak the same phrases to them. The clinical assessments do not stop a rigorous schedule, motoring for the possible failure. The room is kept warm, and every so often when you will yourself to peek in, you can see the sheen of sweat that’s over Ivar’s forehead, dancing across his chest under the stickers, the monitors. The capillary refill on his toes show promise, and when the nurse says that to her doctor, you find yourself attempting the same motions on your thumb nail. Pressing the pink away and making room for the white, and then in a quick release, the pink swarms back. The ultra sound machines reminds you of the new equipment in your rig as it assess arterial blood flow every hour.
IV bags drip, slow and agonize and the change of wrappings, dressings and cleaning of both the limbs and Ivar himself collect. You spend hours watching the fluid levels sink, his eyes flutter, his fingers in his hand dance and you grow cold because you just want to hold him. To lock him in a steel tower and to constantly remind him how strong he is, because you know the longest road will not come from learning to walk. It will come from Ivar trying to find that he is worthy to live on.
Blackness had retired across your cheeks, wrapping a veil of makeup that melted into battle scars and you could not move if your body depended on it. Aslaug sits next to you; she takes her time wiping the makeup off from under your eyes, the soiled mascara and she’s humming to you. She had been telling you how when Ivar was young, she would sing to him and it would calm him down. How she sang to him in the hospital after he tried to overdose, tubes pumping his stomach as she blamed herself for such wrong doing. How Hvitserk blamed himself because he gave no one a warning cry. And how she’s singing to Ivar now, even though he can’t hear it, because it comforts the three of you as a whole. 
When your eyes follow the nurse into the room, you can hear her say something to Ivar and you watch his head turn in confusion. Grogginess and a fog on his brain as she talks to him like it’s a normal conversation; wishing him a good morning, how the weather looks promising for a beautiful day and you wish you had that level of bed side manner. You never get the promising parts of the journey; you get the patients that are coding and in a rush to the life saving team in the hospital. You love the ones who tell you their entire live’s story in the back of the rig on the way to the emergency room, sharing details and calming your mind with how simple, and yet how different every walk of life is. The nurse says something about you, about Hvitserk and Aslaug and Floki, out and waiting and ready to see him when he’s fit. You wave through the glass and there’s the tease of a smirk on Ivar’s face, even in his slightly sedated state. A dastardly, bastard smirk and his hand lifts off the bed slightly, wiggling his fingers back to you. The tears start up again, pounding a sledge hammer through your skull after all of the unruly pressure and messes of crying as your body tries to go numb.
“Where’s my mom?” You hear Ivar say in a voice that muted slightly as the nurse stands in the door way to exit. “Can I see my mom?” And the nurse nods. Aslaug stands and kisses your hair line as she walks into the vicinity, Ivar watching her and you need to back up, you need to walk away from the room, this hall way and this battle. A faint wheeze goes through your chest and Floki catches it first before Hvitserk has a chance to lift his head and open his eyes.
“Let’s walk, dear,” Floki says and his voice is not authoritative but it still demands you to comply as he loops an arm around your shoulder. “Walking can help to clear the mind.” It’s your first time outside in almost three days, and the sunlight burns you like you had been its victim on a sand covered shoreline for one too many hours. The hospital grounds are manicured, they’re neat and arranged with an abundance of flowers and colors in the open air but everything to you still feels so dull and lifeless, pointless and hopeless and walking only churns your thoughts to double, triple in size like a snow ball rolling down a hill. 
You’re finally allowed in to see Ivar and you approach slowly, like touching him will seer you suddenly, stain you with a unremovable pattern and you’ll forever be reminded. His blue eyes are dull and groggy when they open, the nasal cannula wrapping his face and your eyes dance over the scurf collecting on his jaw, and the faint bruising, cuts and scrapes on his skin.
“Hey baby,” His voice rasps and you kneel by the bed, tears already on their journeys to streak your tried skin and Ivar’s needle poked, IV covered arm comes to wipe what he can reach. “You were there, weren’t you?” And you can only nod, eyes still damp and you relish in the touch he gives you only if it’s for a second. “You saved my life, baby,” Ivar finally adds and that makes the whimper start again, the choke of a sob in your throat and he tries to quiet you, slithering a quick noise from his lips and you rest your head against the bed, his hand still on your hair. 
“I drove the ambulance over a hundred miles an hour,” You finally say and they’re the first words you can use to process the trauma you two had lived through together.
“That’s my girl,” Ivar smiles, speaking with a voice that sounds like sandpaper.
“I love you Ivar—no matter what happens, I love you so much,”
“I love you too, Y/N,” Ivar says and his voice is weaker now and he needs rest. “Kiss me before you go?” He says with eyes scanning your face, and you can’t deny that now. Pressing your lips softly against his, your hands cupping his cheek and you hope it’s not the last kiss you’ll ever get from him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Ivar tells you. “I’m afraid. But I’m not going anywhere,” You nod as he speaks, a forehead against his for a second and his hand is still trying to reach on you where he can. This is the man that would pull the tubes and the wires from his chest if he could, if that would make him get closer to you. “You’re stuck with me,” And there’s a faint snicker after his words, weak and drowned out from the normal tone but you’ll take it after not hearing his voice for three days.
“I’m stuck with you,” You say back with a small smile. But it still doesn’t bring enough hope.
Ink Drinker Tags:
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full masterlist can be found here.
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banterpodcast · 3 years ago
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emo truthing the dream smp
'oh some of these songs aren't TECHNICALLY emo they're pop pun-" ok. dont care.
also yes i am aware some of these bands are shitty people please do not try and make this seem like im supporting these bands actions i am simply just a music nerd
if u think i am wrong about any of these lmk i love discussing this stuff
theres no fall out boy here bc i know i can write a whole other post about fall out boy
first of all the obvious - vegas lights and las nevadas. i dont think i need to go further into that.
royal - waterparks - george
- "im proof of consequences" sir literally is the embodiment of this line. slept through an election and well. we saw how that turned out
- 'im two faced from your double exposure' in reference to his relationship to both dream and dreamXD
- "i wish i was royal but im not" man got dethroned
- "im doing alright, but is alright enough?" idk man i just think this line kinda got that george energy
- "i fall in love with everything that wants nothing to do with me" is the main line where im like hm idk if this fits george but also does dreamXD really love george? or does he just see a humanity in george he cant find in himself?
- "i know that theres no dealing with the way im feeling, im so out of touch with everyone and everythings a blur to me" lol!
i think check yes juliet by we the kings can apply to multiple ships but im gonna apply it to awesamponk purely for the line 'they'll tear us apart' because thats incredibly funny to me.
theres a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just havent thought of it yet - panic! - early lmanberg wilbur (tbh some of it can also definitely apply to pogtopia wilbur)
- 'from that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed' the no armour rule
- 'i'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it, ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring' CMON TELL ME THIS LINE ISNT EARLY LMANBERG WILBUR
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do i even need to put analysis this shit is writing itself. wouldnt be surprised if wilbur listened to this at some point while writing the lmanberg arc
- "oh and the smokes in that cigarette box ... laced with nitroglycerine" is definitely more a pogtopia wilbur line but. wilbur is wilbur <3
king for a day - pierce the veil - exile arc tommy
im so passionate about this one.
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the s/ic/de attempts in the nether and in logstedshire. tommy being a red coded character.
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clearly about his relationship with dream. also the whole line about being a martyr and the idea that tommy still worshipped prime in exile ?????
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he was put into exile to 'think about what he did' in reference to burning george's house down. he had to beg for dream not to burn his things.
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haha anyone remember when he hallucinated tubbo coming to visit him?
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ghost in the walls... haha.... ghostbur....
finally:
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anyways king for a day is the tommy exile arc song.
other connections i have made but do not have the energy or passion to justify:
ignorance - paramore - quackity (actually i might make another post and talk about this bc god)
jack manifold and gives you hell by all american rejects
tubbo and the anthem by good charlotte
missing you by all time low i can see for both crimeboys and clingyduo
shut up and kiss me by marianas trench and early karlity (ie the one lil bit before karlnapity became a trio)
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sarahjkl82-blog · 4 years ago
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Artistic Instinct Chapter Eight
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Header thanks to the lovely @yespolkadotkitty
Summary: Marcus Pike and OC Anushka Pierce have been selected to work on a 5 eyes (Australia, Canada, NZ, the UK and US) intelligence team to track down art forgeries as a part of taking down an international white terrorism cell. Marcus is trying to escape his broken heart, Anushka is just trying to escape what the world expects of her.
Word count: 5,600
Warnings: Language as always, mentions of drinking, alcohol and drunkenness, mentions of sex OH AND HEARTBREAK
Pairing: Marcus Pike x reader (OC)
This comes with a MASSIVE THANK YOU to the lovely @yespolkadotkitty , who read, re-read, pointed out the constant flipping between tenses and gave me the confidence to try to write something. This is the first thing I have written since angsty poetry as a teenager. Apologies if it is shit!
The right person, the wrong time.
The right script, the wrong line.
The right poem, the wrong rhyme.
And a piece of you
That was never mine
K Towne Jr.
Chapter 8
The black topped streets of Lewisham radiate the day’s spring sunshine as if intent upon sending the heaven sent warmth back up through Marcus’ soles. The evening’s golden light creates a love song in his heart - one that morphs from the irritation and melancholy of the morning to a happier more uplifting tune.
When did that mood change? Oh yes, that embrace.
Nush.
Marcus hadn’t realised just how low his battery was for touch until you threw your arms around him. How much much he’d needed your body close to his again. Feeling your softness against him, inhaling your intoxicating scent. How he’d longed to kiss your forehead and stroke your hair in that cuddle. Remembering the pain of breaking that contact, plastering on a smile and kicking himself for it.
Constantly having to watch his need for your touch and tempering it within the normal parameters for a working relationship, Marcus has found himself reaching out for you- making excuses to touch you as you passed him, finding imaginary eyelashes on your face. Being around you felt like a breath that he was unable to release, continuously having to dampen down his natural instincts to hold and stroke you.
Kiss you.
Taste you.
Had he been back in the States, he would have said fuck it and asked you out, but that didn’t exactly go well last time. The pain of knowing exactly what he wants and it just being beyond the reach of his fingertips plagues Marcus daily with the dream of coming home to be loved, nurtured and protected and offer it in return. How do you ever allow yourself to become vulnerable to that risk of failure again? One thing he is certain of, is your current ignorance of the true level of his feelings. The kindness you show others - so much care for everyone around you, albeit through a thinly veiled layer of sarcasm and swearing- and the love your friends show for you, demonstrate that you would be nothing but clear if he was to reveal his true feelings.
Squeezing politely through the crowds, between the narrow shack-like stalls of the fairy-light illuminated market, Marcus heads towards the Highline where Andy had told each of you to meet him. Before he could start climbing the staircase up, a large hand grasps his upper arm, another patting the space between his shoulder blades. Marcus spins, slightly surprised by the touch, to be greeted by Andy’s grinning face.
“Looking good, Sir. Bit sharper than at lunch today,” Andy observes, giving Marcus’ leather jacket, Henley and indigo jeans a once over, “and before you complain, I am going to get you a beer because of the day you’ve had. You can do your management thing of buying the first round in a bit, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
With Andy’s face explicitly telling Marcus not to disagree with him, he nods, definitely needing that drink. As they head together towards the bar, they are both absorbed into the throng of a hundred voices holding loud conversations as they compete with the soundtrack from the decks. The crowd is a mixed bag of teenagers, students and families - the children chasing or trying to catch the sparkling spotlights as their parents reminisce over large gin and tonics about lie-ins and late nights not hunched over a crib.
Winding their way through the laughing and dancing bodies, they head in the direction of the alcohol to order some locally brewed ales, bumping into an already buzzing Kiritopa at almost the front of the queue. After a round of handshakes, back slaps and hearty laughs, they edge ever closer to their goal of amber nectar. Before their drinks are poured, Marcus’ eyes scan the market for the rest of the team when they are caught by a flash of colour. Bright turquoise stockings, a mustard corduroy pinafore, red and white striped T-shirt - oh, it isn’t you. Your wildly coloured legs bring so much colour to his day and they are the first thing he checks as he enters the office. Elbow nudges and a pint glass from Andy brings his attention back to the men in front of him for a quick cheers-ing of glasses before heading out of the melée.
The table on the Highline that Andy had reserved was utterly perfect. It afforded a bird’s eye view of the market - a true dream come true for any avid people watchers, whilst also allowing everyone to talk and be heard by each other with its one storey elevation from the thronging crowds. Andy and Kiritopa are animatedly talking with each other lounging amongst the piles of cushions and blankets on the pallet seating, while Marcus leans against the walkway, clutching his beer, staring off into the urban sprawl of concrete car parks and fried chicken restaurants but only looking for one face.
“Hey, what time do you call this...Whoa - Nush, is that makeup? On your face?” Andy’s eyes are utterly saucer-like in this discovery.
“Hush your mouth - she did it to me,” you jab your finger in Dian’s direction, pouting your lips at the indignation and as Andy goes to make another quip, you add- shoving some chips in his mouth, “Dirty masala fries- thought we’d need something to line our tummies this evening. Although equally, they’ll do a wonderful job of keeping some people’s mouths shut!”
“I think I did a great job- she looks stunning!” having put three portions on the table, Dian steps back to admire her handiwork as you pull a duck face pout at her.
She always looks beautiful.
“So, what’s on these fries?” Marcus asks as he desperately tries to avoid the other thoughts running through his head of how that pencil skirt runs along the curve that falls and rises from your waist to your hips beautifully or the horizontal stripes of your t-shirt - an outfit winning in its quest to distract.
As for that goddamn red lipstick…
It would leave a mark all around my-
“Ok, so they’re skinny French fries with spices shaken over them and a dollop of channa masala on top. Oh and that white shit is garlic mayo to dip them in,” you grin broadly as you pass him a portion - the picant vibrancy of the food telling stories of the fresh, bold flavours to come. Always being a believer in food being one of the ways that you can love a person, the mouthful of potatoes, spices and chickpeas envelops Marcus in an all encompassing hug. His belly sings with happiness with each mouthful he consumes, his tongue delightfully tingling from the chilli powder.
“Y’know Nush. Not had one of your curries for a while,” Andy not-so gently hints.
Marcus can’t help but raise his eyebrows, “Nush, you make curries? How many other hidden talents?”
“She also plays the piano and did ballet until she was fifteen,” Andy adds, ducking as you lob a cushion at him - your face reddened with a mixture of embarrassment and rage.
“Badly according to my mother,” you say, rolling your eyes as you shove another mouthful in, “Mine aren’t particularly elegant but they are edible. Well they are now anyway - there was one, a keema matar, that I made as a kid where I didn’t realise that chili develops over time. Put in roughly five tablespoons by the end. Could have been used for chemical warfare. Never lived it down but it got me out of cooking for a while.”
The table explodes in uproarious laughter, earning several odd looks from the patrons nearby.
“Well, I’m considering this an invitation to try one of your edible curries as you so eloquently call them,” Kiritopa rubs his belly in anticipation, chuckling at your modesty, “When can we get a date in the book?”
“I love a good curry, so count me in,” Dian chimes in as she pops the chickpeas like sweets into her mouth.
Marcus watches you shift uncomfortably in the spotlight of demands from your co-workers, “If I do this, I need a bigger space to work in as I can’t fit you all in my flat. I’ll need to borrow somewhere that can fit more bums.”
“Could use my apartment to cook and host, if you like?” Marcus proffers, secretly hopeful at trying some of your dishes and perhaps more than a little excited at the thought of spending some one on one time with you.
“Shall we do Sunday evening, if nothing turns up from work?” Kiritopa asks hopefully.
Marcus shrugs by way of confirmation, catching your gaze, drinking in the swirl of colours in your iris, to give you a nod.
With a sigh and a roll of the eyes, you exclaim, “Andy- what the fuck have you started? You’ve all grossly overestimated my skills, and now I am going in search of alcohol to dull my senses and make poor decisions,” you dramatically announce with a theatrical bow, “What can I get everyone?”
Seeing an opportunity open up, Marcus touches your arm as you go to leave, “It’s my round. Help me carry them?”
“Deal,” Marcus feels his heart grow as he sees your smile reach every corner of your face.
Before reaching the top of the stairs, Marcus moves himself around to walk in front of you. His body on an autopilot of manners. On reaching the bottom step, he reaches back - unthinkingly - to grab your hand so as not to lose you amongst the multitude drinking, eating and dancing the night away. The momentary panic that spread at the thought of you rejecting him recedes as your fingers thread between his.
Sending a warm smile at you over his shoulder, you follow in the wake of him quietly.
The people near the bar are flowing like rivers, never stopping for obstacles but twirling, swirling around them nevertheless Marcus guides you through, never letting go. The noise of the chatter and throb of the music surrounds you, not allowing for much verbal communication so he settles for small movements and gestures with the hand that is holding yours. When you finally arrive at the queue by the bar, that is when you can speak a bit more freely albeit in theatrical whispers in each other’s ears.
Marcus watches how the evening breeze kisses you, blowing the strands of your growing-out fringe into your face. How you gaze around and observe people whilst also managing to make him feel like he’s the only person there. The way your eyes crease into crescents when you laugh or smile and how much he wishes he could thank all those people jostling you into him. But like all moments with you, it ends too quickly as soon you’re both heading upriver against the current with your trays of drinks.
“Nush, I’ve always thought it was some kind of miracle that you never spill alcohol,” Andy teases you as you bring the drinks to their owners.
“Hah! I don’t waste the good stuff,” you mutter indignantly, “Although perhaps if we want to protect the office carpets, I should…”
“No,” Marcus mock-sternly interjects at the thought of you being drunk and the chaos that would bring, “No day drinking at work, Nush. I’d prefer the coffee stains.”
Your pout and subsequent upward glance through your eyelashes, makes Marcus turn towards the railings, hiding his thoughts in his beer.
Fuck, Nush.
If you only knew what you do to me.
“Hey Kiri, isn’t it? You playing in the tourney tomorrow?” a deep, cut glass accent calls out, cutting through the crowds surrounding them. Marcus turns towards where the sound is coming from and as he does, he catches a strange look cross your face.
“What the fuck are you doing here and how the fuck do you know Kiritopa?” The tone of your voice, narrowed eyes and furrowed brow makes Marcus turn back towards the group inquisitively.
“Nush! Haven’t seen you in a long time but you are looking amazing,” the voice is attached to a face, the kind that would stop anyone in their tracks, “can barely recognise you with makeup on- you should wear it more often.”
You breathlessly mutter, “Fuck off, that’s never going to happen.”
Good girl. Don’t put up with that BS. You’re better than that.
“I know Seb through rugby training,” then tilting his head quizzically, Kiritopa asks, “How do you know him?”
“Since school isn’t it, so what? Roughly twenty years? Through her brother, Adam as we played rugger together. Although, despite such a long time friendship, you wouldn’t let me in your knickers until more recently,” Seb shoots you a wink from over his beer.
The words burn through Marcus as he considers your connection with this man - his eyes narrowing, lips thinning. Loneliness echoing through his racing heart. He hadn’t considered you seeing anyone else- even for the briefest of dalliances but then not everyone is a serial long term monogamist.
Of course you’d have needs, you are an adult woman.
I just wish you’d explore them with me.
“Every now and then it’s nice to have an orgasm attached to a pulse that isn’t delivered by a battery,” you deliver, utterly deadpan.
Seb pretends to be mortally wounded by your words, playing dead into the chair next to yours, languidly flopping his limbs around. Oh, how Marcus would like to wipe that stupid smug smirk off his face!
For fuck’s sake, Pike. Why didn’t you sit next to her when you had the chance?
White knuckles wrapped around his nearly empty pint glass, Marcus silently watches as Seb desperately works to get your attention whilst you chat animatedly with Dian and Andy while Kiri downs the rest of his beer. He hasn’t noticed the pretty young woman with bouncing corkscrew curls observing him from amongst her friends on the next table along.
“Hey. You look like you could do with a drink, can I get you one?”
Abruptly removed from his poorly concealed glowering, Marcus raises his eyebrows in surprise at this question, pausing for some time before realising that it was aimed at him.
“Oh, look don’t worry. It was just a silly thought...” the beautifully tight curls go to withdraw from view and return to their friends.
“No, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought,” Marcus offers apologetically, “It’s been a day from hell. Let me get you a drink.”
“Wanted to talk to you as I was a bit concerned that you were about to break that glass with how tightly you were gripping it. Glass is an arse to get out of wounds so thought it better to save your hands before you come visit me in A&E,” she gently proposes, “There are better places to spend Friday nights!”
Welcoming the pretty distraction from his destructive thoughts, Marcus’ cheeks dimple as he nods, “I can imagine. Are you a doctor?”
“Yeah, for my sins,” she amusedly huffs, “And on a rare night out, so shall we go get that drink? I’m Kemi, by the way.”
✪✪✪✪✪
Oh, how you long to rip the makeup from your face! As a child, it had been a form of let’s pretend that turned into a mask to hide behind as a young adult as you experimented with finding your true self. Now, that you are established in your womanhood, you feel no need to add layers to your face other than when you are convinced it would be fun by a fast-becoming firm friend.
When Sebastian made a remark about how pretty you looked with the makeup, it made you want to run to the loo right then and there to claw it from your skin.
And what the ever loving fuck is he doing here? Fucking Sebastian of all fucking people, who you accidentally keep finding yourself fucking. You’d just come around to the idea that it might be ok to occasionally go out with people from work but when they meet people from your everyday life - your home life - that isn’t ok. Especially when that person is just a hate fuck. Great in bed but an odious human being as you can’t be that handsome and a decent person, it seems.
Unless you’re Marcus Fucking Pike.
Who is now grabbing a drink with an absolute goddess of a woman.
You couldn’t quite pinpoint why it had hurt so much when he’d walked off with her but there was such an ache deep in your tummy that could not be ignored. Between that and the appearance of fucking Sebastian, you just want to jump on the 178 home and throw on your jammies, curling up under the shit crocheted throw that you’d made during your leave - more holes than stitches. If it wasn’t for Dian, you would already be on your way there, demolishing something unhealthy from UberEats, glugging a wine or two.
Dian seems to pick up on your drop in mood and decides that it’s time for a trip to the tequila bar. With Andy’s husband now joining your rag-tag gang, you agree to chase some bitter hits of alcohol. As you wind your way among the dancers and drinkers, you see him standing by one of the upturned kegs, laughing at something she has said. You catch his eye, plaster on a smile and send him a wink in the hope that your wish for him to have fun seems genuine.
You sign to him whether he wants a drink but a small shake of his head tells you all you need to know before Dian tugs your hand back in the direction of the bar. Standing in front of the bartender, a moment of sadness washes over you until Kiri passes the salt, Seb licks your hand and the rest of the evening finally takes a softer tone after one, two, three.
The tequila in your tummy makes it hard to concentrate on what Dian and Kiri are chatting about while the three of you curl tipsily upon the comfy cushions as a large fluorescent pink, plastic sign declaring TREAT YO’SELF looms large over your heads. Excusing yourself to the loo, you walk past Marcus - steadfastly refusing any eye contact but ensuring he sees you. As you go to repeat the action on the return journey - not entirely sure as to why you feel the need to seek your boss’s attention - a hand goes to balance you as you walk down the final step.
“Whoa - steady, Nush,” you look up to see Marcus’ concerned face looking down at you.
“Hah! I’m ok. You having a good night?” You ask, your eyes searching his, “She’s truly stunning.”
“Yeah, um, were you guys doing shots?” he enquires, brow still furrowed.
“Yup. It's a really good tequila bar upstairs - should have joined us,” you jab him in the chest with an index finger, “So good that the world just looks like an impressionist painting. All swooshy and a little bit blurry.”
You watch Marcus scratching his neck, “Anyway, what on Earth are you doing here with me? Go get her, idiot.”
“Ah, here you are Bad Idea Puppy- thought you’d fallen asleep on the loo. Although that wouldn’t be the first time would it?” Sebastian brays, stepping between you and Marcus as he grabs your hand to lead you onto the dancefloor. Allowing yourself to be led away, you look back over your shoulder at him, mouthing go get her with a wink as if that would soften the pain that had appeared with her.
The music flows through you - the clearest way to communicate you have ever known- your body rolling and swaying with the sensuality of the music. Sebastian moves effortlessly around you thanks to his mother, who having had only sons, deciding that her youngest would get the dance lessons that she’d hoped the daughter she never had, would take. The two of you vent in movements all of what you could never be said between you or to anyone else aloud. As you twist together under the orange stained hazy night sky, you notice the goddess’ hand on Marcus’ face, stroking his cheek. The poisonous ache returns to your tummy and however your face contorts, causes Seb to pull you closer, cradling your head into his neck. You know how the night will end and the loneliness stings.
✪✪✪✪✪
His mouth bone dry, Marcus awakes fully dressed, on top of the comforter, with a cool bed surrounding him. Reaching for his phone, pulling the charging cable from it, he flicks through messages and emails trying to work out what had happened from when Kemi had left him in the bar to rejoin her friends. Her words still ring in his ears - you didn’t come alone tonight - when she had watched his eyes trace your path out of the market. How he’d initially thought about taking her up on her offer to help him forget, wanting to obliterate last night from his memory and lose himself in her eyes and lips. Her final words to him, cutting him to the core- she must be really special and if she is as special as you think she is, you fight for her.
Bloodshot eyes and deep creases stare back at him from the mirror. More grey. They say that age exchanges beauty for wisdom but they are the same mistakes he keeps repeating. A strangled gasp escapes him as he tries to regulate his breathing, lifting his chin trying to fill his lungs with more oxygen. His shoulders are racked by gut-wrenching sobs and like an overwhelmed dam, the tears spill in hot torrents down his cheeks. Marcus slides onto the floor, allowing the grief to pour forth.
His first marriage was too much, too soon, too young. An art historian and an artist in love with creating and observing beauty until the former decided to change tack after being recruited by the FBI. The long hours of training at Quantico, the subsequent hard days and irregular nights as he worked his way through the ranks of the Art Crime department, wrung the patience from his wife. Gradually growing further and further apart until all that was left were two strangers constantly at odds, her cutting comment about how she felt that he gave her only apathy - never coming to her when she needed help or affection. She hated him for the choices he made - feeling that his work was merely interacting with the meaningless. The law enforcer spent more time at work to hide from the inevitable ending until the artist found someone who appreciated her and the beauty she created.
As for Lisbon. Was she really ever his? Wasn’t he really just a footnote in the Patrick Jane story? The whirlwind romance that progressed and extinguished again at such a heart attack inducing pace, emphasised by that stupid-ass move to DC. Although, if it wasn’t for that move, he wouldn’t be here in London now. Oh yeah. That was out of the skillet and into the fire, Pike. Another excellent career move.
So much love to give and nowhere, no one to give it to. The lessons he has learnt and is still learning but oh, just to find that person with whom you can drop that mask and enjoy togetherness, warmth and serenity.
The side of the bath offers a solid cool support to Marcus as he sits there on the herringbone tiled floor, sobbing into his arms. There is only one voice he needs to hear right now. Grabbing a tissue from the side to noisily blow his nose into, he rubs the heels of his palms into his eyes before putting his glasses on. Phone in hand, he dials the number he knows better than his own name.
The familiar dial tone is like a lullaby in his ear, “Mamá?... Hey! How are you doing?... I’m sorry Mamá - I forgot about the time zone difference... I’m ok, just missing you… It’s just been a long week and... Yeah, London is awesome and I managed a trip to France this week which was incredible to be back there. So weird having so many different countries within such easy reach…Come visit me soon?... Thank you... I miss you… Te quiero mucho Mamá… I’ll ring you in a couple of days. Hasta luego.”
Hanging up, everything feels a bit more manageable and less painful- I wish I could bottle my Mamá’s voice. Hauling himself off the bathroom floor, he turns on the faucet to splash icy water on his face. Sniffing his t-shirt, realising the shower could wait - perhaps a good run to get the endorphins pumping would be his best move. Or perhaps a text to Nush to check what ingredients he’d need to have in for the curry tomorrow?
Stop it, Pike. You’re just fucking torturing yourself.
Opening a drawer, he pulls out basketball shorts, a clean t-shirt and a pair of sneaker socks to throw on, discarding last night’s clothes in a heap by the washing machine.
AirPods in and classic nineties dance anthems to pace himself to, he gives his quads and hamstrings a quick warm up by the front door before it is time to convert the emotional pain into miles.
One of the many things that Marcus loves about London is the constant greenery with every second corner a park or stretching heathland. Texas is so proud of its big sky country status and yet, there are parts of central London where you could lie down and not see anything but skies around you. It is truly hard not to fall in love with such a beautiful, historical and spacious city.
Pounding the pavements towards the park, his feet hit the concrete slabs softly, sending small shockwaves to his brain. Whilst Marcus knows that the power in his thighs could have him across the park in seconds, he savours each step. The precision in his movements is perfect as he takes lungful after lungful of the sunshine filled air. It feels like part of a meditation - a mindful prayer. Dodging around errant dogs and small, clumsy yet terrifyingly aggressive children on scooters, he winds his way through the avenues of trees until he comes across a small lake.
He pauses the thrumming music in his ears to just soak up the tranquility of the moment as he stretches out his limbs. The lake is the kindest of nature’s mirrors, never truly showing exactly what is above, but converting it to an image so beautifully smudgy. The weeping willow stroking its branches elegantly across the skin of the water, the clouds gliding silently above as a host of waterfowl paddle effortlessly through the cool, clear pool, all become a priceless Monet hanging in The National Gallery – all free for the looking. Sure, it is transient, changing by the day - unlike the fixed in a moment of time pieces by the grumpy old Frenchman - but that's what makes it all the more precious.
There’s a family by the water’s edge. Marcus can’t help but be amused by the toddler’s antics as they threaten to jump in and become irritated that they can’t, especially when they have their wellies on. Can’t fault that logic! The older child is gathering sticks to make a “campfire” with their dad - discarding most of their parent’s choices with withering looks and expressive rolls of the eyes. The dark-haired mom, whilst trying to reason with the toddler, is swaying with some sort of baby carrier tied around her - a tiny one clutched tightly to her chest. The infant is virtually invisible from the passes of material, only two tiny socks and its little woolly hat peeking free. A collie is also darting between and around them, rounding up his flock of sheep, taking his role as protector very seriously.
The scene makes Marcus smile as he stretches out his muscles. Whilst he can’t help but watch and yearn for something similar in his life, the mom looks up and over in his direction,
“Are you going to come over and say hi or just be a park weirdo that lurks in bushes pretending to stretch?” a familiar voice curtly teases.
Nush - what the fuck?
“Your face is a fucking picture! Take a breath - these are three of my five niblings - big one is Sophia, middle one that keeps threatening to swim in the pond is Alexa and this little dot is Oscar. As for that blundering idiot, this is Adam, my oldest brother- their dad,” gesturing towards your brother you giggle, creasing up in laughter at the sheer shock then relief on Marcus’ face, “Ads, this is Marcus, my new boss that I told you about.”
The male version of Nush outstretched his palm, offering a sympathetic look, “Hi Marcus, pleasure to put a face to a name. I’m so sorry that you have to put up with my cowbag-of-a-sister at work.”
Marcus can’t help but laugh at the friendly sniping between brother and sister, reminding him of his own teasing relationship with his sisters back home, “Hey! Your kids are beautiful. Oh, you must be Sebastian’s friend - who we saw at Model Market in Lewisham yesterday, Nush?” he questions.
“As much as Sebastian can have friends… Oh Nush, you didn’t, did you?” Adam’s face scrunches in disgust and judging in the way that only a sibling can do.
“No! Not this time,” Marcus loves the speed and vehemence to which you respond to your brother- and enjoys the sheer relief that is now guiltily coursing through his veins, “To give the man his dues, he won’t ever sleep with me when I’ve had too much to drink. Not that I was going to and not that it is any of your fucking business in the first place.” You add jabbing your brother in the softness of his tummy with every word you say.
“Nush, I was gonna text you this morning about tomorrow, if you’re still on to make the curries?” Marcus gently questions, willing you to agree.
“Hah! You’re trusting her to cook?” Adam laughs heartily at the suggestion, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea. Our mum still won’t let her near the chilli powder now.”
You growl at your brother, “I was a fucking kid at the time! And yes, I am more than happy to come and cook curries- what time suits you for me to come over? They do take a bit of time to make.”
Marcus struggles to hold back a snort of laughter, “Any time is good - and perhaps while they’re simmering, we can have some classic films on in the background?”
“Ah that sounds perfect,” your smile warming every inch of his skin.
“You sound perfect for her,” Marcus catches Adam muttering under his breath, his eyes widening at your brother’s comment.
“Shut your damn cakehole, twatface,” you slap your brother’s arm hard as you grind the words between your teeth, the two of you glaring with a mirror image of your eyebrows raised at each other.
“Um, I’d better continue my run before I cool down too much,” Marcus manages to spit out between the flushes of heat through his skin, “Great to meet you and your family, Adam. Nush, it’s lovely to see you and I’ll catch you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow, Marcus,” you smile at him before turning back towards your niblings, who are working together to create a den using an old fallen branch.
“I saw you running earlier,” Adam adds, “You’ve got a really good gait - as a physio, it’s great to see someone not destroying their joints. Do you do anything to support your running through cross training?”
“Uh no, but that’s a good idea as I don’t want any injuries. What would you recommend?” Marcus asks, genuinely intrigued and flattered by your brother’s compliment of his running style.
“Speak to Nush - yoga is perfect for stretching your IT bands, which as a man they’re generally always tight and only get tighter with repetitive movements like running or cycling. She’s the yoga queen and will know of a local teacher who can help you,” Adam grins, nodding towards his sister.
“There’s so much I have yet to learn about her,” Marcus shakes his head as he sorts out his headphones.
“Yeah, good luck with that!” Adam laughs as he pats Marcus on the back, “Anyway, enjoy the rest of your run and hopefully see you again soon.”
As Marcus gradually picks up his pace away from you and your family, his heart that had felt so dark and lonely, now feels light and airy. The release valve in his chest is finally loosened and there is a little bubble of excitement in his belly that he allows to build at the thought of tomorrow. The thought of your presence in his apartment, doing something as domestic as cooking, is truly a salve for his soul.
Perhaps he can just make believe until it becomes a reality.
Tag list of glory: @astroboots @silverwolf319@sirowsky @leonieb @disgruntledspacedad @bison-writes @the-ginger-hedge-witch @danniburgh @sugarontherims @green-socks @tardisfangurl @absurdthirst @pedropascalito @mouthymandalorian @mrsparknuts @lunaserenade @zukoyonce @agirllovespancakes @yespolkadotkitty @theravenreads @lv7867 @songsformonkeys
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morning-might-arrive · 4 years ago
Text
Here’s the continuation of my last post. Thank you so much to everyone who liked and reblogged! This is becoming a lot longer than I thought, so there will be another part soon. Feedback is appreciated!
A series of misunderstandings involving a limousine and Spectra’s blog lead Jackson to the realization that he has way more friends than he thought.
Wednesday
Jackson sighed as he silenced his blaring alarm clock. 7:00 am. As he walked to the bathroom to get ready, he was suddenly struck by a memory.
“It’s nothing personal, normie. You just look like such a freak.” Manny told him as he shoved him off of the lunch table. Jackson looked towards the other mansters, but they said nothing. So they all agreed. Even Clawd. 
He cringed. He’d had to eat lunch in a bathroom stall that day. He looked at his reflection, desperately wishing he could change it. He sighed and got dressed. He had to leave early since he now had no car and his parents weren't home. He plugged his headphones into his phone. Holt had gotten them into this situation, only fitting that he deal with it.
Holt Hyde cursed under his breath as he walked to school. Although the weather was warming, mornings in March were still frigid. He sighed in relief as he approached Monster High.
“Heya there, sweetpea,” Operetta drawled in greeting as Holt waltzed through the front doors of the school. 
“What’s good, Oppy?” Holt responded, his usual loud and energetic self even at the early hour.
“Just peachy keen like always, hun. Say, you seen the Ghostly Gossip lately?” She asked.
“Nah, we usually stay away from that garbage ever since that story about us and Frankie. Humiliated the poor ghoul and almost tanked our relationship. It really ain’t cool what they're doin’.” He replied nonchalantly. 
“Oh. Okay. Well sugar, you know you can tell me anythang you wanna, right?” She continued.
“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks Oppy.” That was kinda weird for the rough and tumble ghoul to say, but honestly Holt was just glad their botched attempt at dating didn’t mess up their friendship. Oppy was a cool ghoul. 
“What’s the word, cool cats?” Came a new voice.
“Johnny!”
“Johnny.”
Johnny spirit sauntered casually down the main corridor of Monster High, and students jumped out of his way as if he had the plague. He put his arm around Operetta’s shoulder. “Hey, babe.”
Holt snorted. “I’ll never get why everyone lets you float around like you own the place.”
Johnny shrugged. “Guess they don’t have a choice. Besides, I never see you doing anything about it,” he replied with a bit of challenge in his tone. Holt rolled his eyes.
“You know you don’t scare us, Spirit. Anyway, it seems like Oppy’s got you on a leash without our help.”
Johnny bristled at that “Y’know Hyde, I’m gettin’ real sick of-”
“Why don’t we scamper on down to the catacombs and finish that new song we been workin on, sugarpie?” Operetta cut in. She really didn’t want to deal with a fistfight this early.
The couple walked away and Holt made toward the auditorium. He found the symphony on stage setting up and dashed up to join them, plugging his guitar into its amp. Jennifire was nearby greasing the corks on her clarinet. He huffed and sat down next to her.
“Another run in with the phantom pianist?” She asked, not even looking up.
“That guy is such a jerk!”
She chuckled and shook her head. “You boys are so easily provoked; I may never understand it. My brothers were just the same. He has done not to insight your anger.”
Holt really hated to admit it, but she was right. Johnny really didn't scare Holt, and he knew a little better than to try that tough guy act on Jackson. Plus, it was kinda funny seeing guys like Heath and Manny faint when he walked past them.
“Your emotions run like wildfire, I am very impressed you came to terms so easily with your end.” She continued.
Wait. What. “My what now?”
“Of course, it must be so hard for you to talk about. I am sorry.” A tear fell from her eye and promptly turned to smoke upon hitting her face.
“Jen, are you okay?” Holt asked, facing her.
She smiled. “Yes, I will be okay. So kind of you to think of me.”
“Okay, Okay, enough chit chat. Places people!” The director yelled as he approached the stage. Well. That was weird. Holt took his place in the stool beside the amp and looked up as the director began counting them off.
After an awkward hour of rehearsal, they were dismissed to second period. Holt emerged out into the crowd of students in the hall. Jennifire was nowhere to be found, so he made his way toward the art room. His Spotify playlist suddenly changed to a song by Pierce the Veil. He pulled out his phone to skip it and saw he had a message from Jackson. He scoffed. If D-low had told him what was wrong, would he be asking? JJ could be so oblivious. Maybe it was just a normie thing. 
He took his usual seat in front of his canvas and continued his painting for this week. 
“Psst, Holt.” he heard a whisper. He turned and met the shiny magenta eyes of retired popstar Catty Noir. “We’re turning up at Cleo’s place on Saturday, you in?”
“Yeah totally- oh, nevermind. We can’t make it, we kinda got a...thing that day.”
“Oh,” she said, looking kind of taken aback. “It’s that soon?” 
“What was that?”
“ I said I’ll see you soon!” she hastily corrected herself as she got up and turned in her painting, promptly leaving the art room. Man, everyone's acting off today. He touched up his work and quickly followed suit.
He basically had the rest of the period to himself, so he decided to riff on his guitar for a little bit. He couldn’t do it in the building anymore ever since that one time Headmistress Bloodgood caught him, so he moved to the front steps and set his bag beside him.
“Hey Holt!”
Holt turned towards the front of the school. “Frankie Fine-Stein! Where have you been hiding?” Her skin glowed a light mint green and her eyes sparked in the sun. Just as bootiful as ever. She sat on the step beside him.
“I was actually just in the library. I found this book about the original Jekyll and Hyde. It was way harsh; It said that Edward Hyde trampled a child in the streets of London, is that true?”
“Nuh-uh! Those stuffy normie’s didn’t like that grandpa’s were different so they dragged their reputation through the dirt!” Holt declared passionately. “Some of the people they charged him with killing didn’t even exist in the first place! Then they made Dr. Jekyll out to be a complete basket case and threw them both in jail! That is until they got bailed out by our great-great-grandma, Lucy.”
“Oh, man. I didn’t know any of that!” Frankie replied. She actually knew all about it, she had heard the exact same thing from Jackson before. They were both incredibly salty about the smear campaign launched against their great-great-grandparents that made their family flee to America in the first place, and you could hardly bring it up around them without a passionate rant. Frankie felt a little bad about bringing up something she knew was a sore subjet for them, but she had to make sure Spectra and the other ghouls didn’t get caught. It was for their own good, right?
Her phone buzzed in her lap and she glanced down. “Spectra got something, meet us back in the library.” Clawdeen. Frankie jumped up. “Sorry, Holt, I really gotta go.”
Holt watched her go in curiosity. He checked the time and quickly jumped up himself and dashed back inside the building. The only way to not be late now was to go through Section C, the so-called “vampires only” hallway. It really irked them when other monster’s used it, but he didn’t really care when it was either that or detention. As he made his way through he felt someone glaring at him, and met eyes with a large group of the former prep-school vampires. He braced himself, but instead of giving him grief like they usually did, they just let him pass. They were acting weird, but so was everyone else. Oh well, he didn’t really have time to think about it now.
Holt’s third period was Chemistry 2 with Mr. Hack. No thanks. Science was never his strong suit. Plus, there was seriously something off about this particular teacher. He just took a little too much pleasure in the cutting open of living things for Holt’s liking. He pulled out his phone.
“Keep an eye out. Today’s been weird, Bro.” He typed the message out and then disconnected his phone from his headphones. The world went dark.
Jackson blinked a few times. What was that ringing sound? “Oh, shOOT!” He bolted through the closest door- which just happened to be the right one- and took his seat as the bell finished ringing.
Mr. Hack passed out a hefty amount of worksheets to the class. “Okay class: no whispering, no talking, no looking around, no coughing or sneezing, no you can’t use the bathroom, and if I catch you on your cell phone the whole class gets detention. You have until the end of the class to complete the worksheets or it's a 0 for today.”
Everyone groaned. Good old Mr. Hack. Charming and likeable. Jackson tried to ignore the stares and whispers in his direction as he did his work. He knows he’s different, don’t they ever get tired of reminding him? Were they all paying more attention to him than usual, or was it just his imagination? He blazed through his work in about 20 minutes, it was just some simple thermodynamics equations. He looked up and noticed that Mr. Hack was asleep. Typical. Half the class were on their phones and the other half were talking amongst themselves. He pulled his phone out and saw Holt’s message.
Huh. Maybe it wasn’t just his imagination then, everyone was acting a little odd. Granted, every day at Monster High was pretty weird. Last week they had lost their school crest in a rollerblading contest and the school nearly toppled over, so maybe he could just ignore whatever this was.
The bell finally rang for lunch. He set his work on Mr. Hack’s desk as he jolted awake and practically ran from the room. He shot Clair a text
“Okay, transportation is set and decorations bought. Am I forgetting anything?”
“Measurements, goofy.” She responded almost instantly.
“Oh, right. I can get a tape measure from the woodshop teacher and get them during lunch.”
“Have you told the other monsters about Saturday?”
“No. I just don’t know how they’ll react, y’know?”
“Aren’t they always telling you about how you don’t belong? So why would they care?”
“Yeah you’re probably right. It’s just a difficult situation.”
“Yeah, I hear you. Let me know how it goes.”
Looking down at his phone, he didn’t notice Draculara until he bumped her as he passed.
“So sorry!” He exclaimed. 
“It’s alright.” She reassured him as she walked away. She made her way to the library where her friends were already gathered around in a circle. Spectra floated in the center.
“What’s this all about?” Draculara asked.
“While Frankie had Holt distracted, Spectra looked in his locker.”
“Well what did she find?” Cleo demanded.
“Just this. It appears to be a receipt for some kind of car rental.”
Clawd glanced at his phone. “Heath says Jackson is in the boys locker room right now taking measurements of himself and writing them down.” He told the group.
“Then what Spectra said is true.” Fraknie finally admitted. The room fell into extended silence.
“Well we can at least show Jackson he means something to us.” Draculara spoke up.
“Yeah,” Frankie agreed, “we can do something nice for him and Holt.”
“What are we going to do? Hijack the gym and throw a huge party during lunch?” Cleo asked sardonically.
“You’re on a roll Cleo! It’ll be closed tomorrow, but we can do it Friday!” Clawdeen agreed.
Cleo smiled. Very well then. Friday would be a day for the monster history books.
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hostess-of-horror · 3 years ago
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Encore at Midnight
A little fanfic story I decided to indulge in! This is my first official fanfic post, so it may not be perfect. I hope you enjoy it!
Word Count: 3301
Number of Pages: 6
[Don't worry! It is not NSFW, I promise!]
________________________________________________________________
There it is again. That familiar song.
It had been playing every night around midnight. Perhaps only she could hear it, for it seems that no one else had woken up to investigate. Lying in her bed, dressed in her nightgown, she turns her attention towards the source of the song. The melody drifts through the gentle, cool breeze coming from the balcony. The curtains billow with every note, dancing as the pale moonlight illuminated them with a sheer white glow. Once again, the balcony doors are open.
Was it the wind? No, it couldn’t have been. The weather had not been terrible recently, so much so that the doors would have swung open. What could have opened them? What keeps opening them, around midnight, for these past few nights? She feared the worst. A thief. Another captor. Another thought disturbs her mind. Are they already inside the castle? She lifts the blankets from herself and investigates the balcony. As she takes a closer look, her nightgown begins to join the curtains amidst the breeze, billowing - dancing - alongside them. Her hands shield her arms from the cold. No damages to be found. The lock remains perfectly intact. What could have opened the balcony doors? The thought drifted in her mind as she locks the doors, once again, and prepares herself for more rest. Her chamber is now silent. Dark and comfortable. She could no longer hear that song.
All of this should be making her sick with worry. It should be making her fear for her safety and sleep with caution. But the caution had been blown away with the wind. This has become a bit of a nuisance, if anything. She would wake up every morning finding no signs of trouble or disturbance. Strange as it is, there was, so far, nothing to be concerned about. At least, she hopes so. Another night, another melody. That’s all it was.
But, by the stars, where on Earth is that song coming from?
Tucked into her bed, she resumes her slumber. Although curious about the song, she is simply too tired to continue investigating. She knew that nothing terrible would happen based on the previous nights. It was only a song. A beautiful one at that. No. That’s a complete understatement. What word could possibly describe it? That delicate sound as it seemingly rides along the gentle breeze? As it makes its presence among the moon and the starlit night? As it gives the darkest of shadows a sense of intrigue? Ethereal. Majestic. Alluring. Yes, that’s it! Alluring. Beguiling. Captivating. Enchanting. She could name off every synonym if she was not falling deeper into sleep. But, by the stars, where on Earth is that song coming from? Who owns a voice as lovely such as this one?
There it is again! That familiar song!
She springs up from her bed, her eyes widening with surprise. She pauses for a moment. Waiting. Listening. She stares through the darkness. Listening. Listening. Slowly her breathing becomes heavier by each inhale; her heart pounds through her chest. Whether it be fear or excitement, she could not tell. Either way, one thing is certain.
The voice was coming from inside the castle.
Ah, that’s it! Enough of this! She must find out about this! She must figure out this strange occurrence once and for all. Should she call for the guards? It would be smart to do so; throwing caution to the wind should be the last thing someone could do. But that has already been done, for she crawled herself out the bed, grabbed her shawl, and headed her way towards the voice. The entire castle was enshrouded in shadow. Only the moonlight from the windows provided light, piercing through those shadows. She could not tell if this made her vision inside the castle better or worse. But she could hear the song! She follows the melody; the more she ventured further, the louder the song became. As she crept, she finds that there was something rather enticing about this situation. For all she knew, she could be in danger right now. She could be a victim of another kidnapping, and she will have to be saved again. But instead, she was curious. Very curious. Intrigued even. Perhaps it is the sense of mystery that pervaded the air. The idea of discovering what lies beyond the darkness; the thrill of finding the source of the voice. Perhaps it was madness. The kind of madness that resulted from the countless kidnappings she endured in the past. Maybe her sanity has finally left her, abandoning common sense and security to whatever comes her way.
The melody takes her through the long corridors and down the marble stairs into the main entrance. The shadows throughout the castle surrounds her like long veils. They encircle her, almost leaving her blind. Despite this, she knew she was close – the song was louder than ever before. She could hear it much clearer now. That voice…. She swore she has heard this voice before. Not from the previous nights, but from a long time ago. How long had it been? Months? Years? She could not remember. It was low – baritone. The song itself wasn’t a song she had heard before, besides the previous nights, but the voice was familiar. That familiar song. That familiar voice. Alluring. Beguiling. Captivating. Enchanting. Alluring… Beguiling… Captivating… Enchanting…
Then light. A soft, warm glow breaks the shadows. She turns; it was coming from an entrance. Finally, there is light! She could finally see, and with that light rises the melody in a dramatic crescendo. Without thought, she follows the light, towards the voice, and into a wonderous sight. Rows upon rows of candelabras greet her at the entrance, all placed together as one giant circle in the middle of the ballroom. The mood lightning makes the elegant décor on the walls gleam with gold; the shadows less intimidating. She looks up and freezes in place. She would be calmed by this discovery if it not weren’t for the presence of a familiar figure. He was massive in size; the ballroom fit perfectly for someone like him. A rotund figure, white as snow, towering – floating! – over the shining candelabras like a giant idol ready to be worshipped. His hair curled into rolls and into a small braid tied together by a black ribbon. His clothes – a cobalt blue coat with a red vest – are slightly torn, riddled with holes and tears at the edges and seems. He holds himself with an air of superiority, and with dramatic flair, he finally rises to a gratifying high note, ending his nightly song at long last. This singer is no human being; he is a creation. An amalgamation of a gramophone, a ghostly Boo balloon, and a Rabbid.
His pained expression softens as silence took over the castle once again. His eyes flutter open, finding himself capturing the attention of one small lady. After a moment of silence, he smiles, “Did you enjoy the performance, Princess Peach?” Princess Peach abruptly wakes from her frozen state. After all these years since they first fought… she never thought that she would ever see him again. How should she react to this reunion? Angry? Scared? Happy? She brushes off her awkwardness. “If it wasn’t during the middle of the night, then yes, I would have.”, she responded in a huff. Phantom softly chuckles, still giving her that sweet smile, “My apologies, your highness. My inspiration comes during the night, especially in a night like this. Something about the pale moonlight gives off a…hmm, je ne sais quoi. Romantic, is it not?”
Peach couldn’t disagree. She does find nights like this one to be beautiful. But, ah, don’t get distracted now! “Why are you in my castle, Mr. Tom Phan? Or perhaps, I should say, Phantom? What business do you have here in the middle of the night?”, she questioned.
“I wanted to see you again.”
“…see me again?”
“Yes. I wanted to start over from the beginning. Our battle from years ago was not exactly the best way to introduce ourselves. Although, that wretched plumber had it coming. Bah, what a fool! He’ll never get the best of me.”
“For what? For merely existing? And you talk as if you didn’t have your behind handed to you during that battle!”
Phantom shot an aghast look. The audacity of this princess! But she was right, he could not deny that. No matter how hard he tried, the memory of being defeated was always painful to recount. However, the princess made quite the shot at him. Feisty. Very witty. He liked it. His composure remains intact, “Hmm. The past is in the past, your highness. Enough of it! What matters now is that I have returned for an encore. An encore, and for you.”
“Are you… are you going to kidnap me?”
“Goodness, no! I have no such intentions! Why would anyone try to harm such a lovely creature as yourself? I’d rather destroy myself!”
“Flattery is not going to work.”
“I promise. You have my word. And I never go back on my word.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“Oh, come now. Don’t be that way! No need to be feisty. Even though, to be quite honest… it is a good look on you.”
“Oh, please.”
“It makes you stronger than you already are. I should know, I fought you before!”
Peach pauses. She can feel a warming sensation rising up onto her face. Is she blushing? No, she cannot be! She gently touches her cheek – she is! She turns her face away from Phantom, hiding her bashful expression. He must not know! Phantom lets out an amused chortle, “Flattery is not going to work, she said. And yet here you are, red as a cherry! How adorable.” His mitten-like paw reaches out for Peach’s cheek, delicately turning her face towards him, with a tender caress. Rabbids, Peach learned, have very soft fur and, if they allow it, they can be quite a huggable sort. Cuddling a Rabbid would be the same as cuddling a favorite stuffed animal. Phantom was no different, other than his size. Peach could easily lay her head against his paw and admire the sheer texture of his fur. The mere act is so tempting. No! Don’t get distracted now! “It’s alright. There’s no need to be shy. Everyone loves compliments, especially from someone like me. Although I’m sure you receive compliments all the time, being the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom and all.”, Phantom added, continuing to caress from her cheek down to her chin. Almost lost in his caress, Peach responded, “Yes, it’s true… but more out of respect, I believe. No one has ever told me that before.”
“Oh?”
“There’s always the usual: you’re so beautiful! Your highness, you look amazing as always! We are certain you can never lead us astray! But I have never heard anyone say anything about my strength.”
“Not even that plumber?”
“Of course, Mario does! He and Luigi have always cared for me, regardless of my royal blood. We’re friends!”
“Friends? I thought you and Mario were together.”
“No… we’re not, unlike what many people keep saying. Those are only rumors. Yes, I have kissed him on the forehead and nose, but that was more out of courtesy. A thank you for saving me from danger.”
“I see.”
“The whole relationship between me and Mario is more of “a princess and her knight in shining armor” fantasy created by my subjects. At first, I didn’t mind – rumors were rumors. They’re nothing but mere stories. But then, people started asking questions. I’m sure they were just curious, but… it’s like as if it’s an expectation. As if it is bound to happen one day. They’re just waiting for me to fall in love and marry Mario. I don’t even know about his thoughts on marriage.”
“Do you like him?”
“I mean… I just… well…”, Peach’s voice and mind trailed off into silence. Did she like Mario? Does she still like Mario? She has been with him for so long, and for so long she had always been grateful of his noble deeds. Her face twisted in a slight expression of confusion. Perhaps she does like him. Why wouldn’t she? And how could she not? Like she had said, he always cared for her. Mario had always been such a gentleman, not just towards her but towards everyone else. But once Phantom asked her that very question, Peach was conflicted. Phantom lifts her chin up towards his face, their eyes meeting each other’s gaze face to face. Peach had never seen his eyes up close in person. Time itself seemed to have stopped the very moment she saw them. Two sapphires gleaming in the candlelight, bright enough to pierce through the darkness and into her soul. Her breath is taken. Such splendid color renders her speechless. And what a tender gaze he has! Mario had made the same gaze, too, but it was only whenever she was in danger. Other than that, there wasn’t anything special. Or, at least, that’s what it seemed like.
Phantom softens into a sympathetic gaze; his eyes never leaving hers. After this moment of quiet contemplativeness, he finally spoke, “You don’t have to continue with any of that, you know. What good does it have? You’ve spent how long, ruling this kingdom, having this “knight in shining armor” come and rescue you every now and then, only to never reciprocate your feelings? It sounds like to me that Mario is oblivious! Terribly so, if he's causing you this much doubt and heartbreak. Why should you stay like this, my dear? Isn’t there something you desire? Something you crave, something you long for? Or should I say, someone? I can see in those pretty eyes of yours that you’re desperate. Lonely. In need of companionship. I sympathize with your troubles, and I confess, I carry a similar burden.”
“You do?”, Peach asked.
“Yes. You see, I am not like the others. No one has the same intellect as I have, let alone the ability to communicate properly and speak comprehensive sentences.”
“It’s true that Rabbids do have…. a limited amount of understanding. But maybe not all of them. Every Rabbid is unique in personality and interests. How you ever tried to socialize with them?”
“I have tried, but unfortunately, I found that you can’t share anything with anyone. You can’t have any interesting conversations with anyone. Once you do, they just gawk. What’s worse is that they don’t even sing like I do! As much as I adore the attention from my audiences….”
His voice fades, his paws quivering. His breathing slowly gets more frantic, his expression aching. He lets go of Peach’s chin and brings his attention towards his palms. Peach watches as Phantom’s entire body shakes, his chest almost heaving with such harshness. His sapphire eyes began to overflow with tears, leaving glistening streams down his cheeks. Peach’s heart shatters with every tear. She could not bear to see someone cry. To her, seeing someone burst into tears was unbearable, no matter who it was. Every now and then, Phantom inhales and exhales, trying to keep his composure, but to no avail. Peach inches closer to him, wanting to wipe his tears, but is stopped. “Ah, it drives me to madness just thinking about it!”, Phantom cries, his eyes closing shut. Suddenly a smile appears, revealing the gap between his buckteeth. He chuckles, “Maybe…. Maybe I already am mad… Mad with arduous desperation! With unbound lamentation!”
The ballroom darkens. Peach freezes once more, this time out of fear. Her skin crawls as the shadows she once tried to escape begin creeping back towards them. She could not look away. Helplessly, she watches as Phantom’s weeping transforms into an unhinged snicker. His paws close into fists and clutches his temple; his eyes still closed and brimming with tears. His low snickering turns into shaking laughter with a terrible force, breaking out of his closed-up throat. Covering his face, Phantom swallows, giving himself a moment to speak. He breathes, “Am I not of the same race as them? The same flesh as them, the same image as them? I am different, yes, but isn’t everyone? People talk of differences, they teach others of differences, and yet differences are what they fear. Fear of the unknown is prevalent, no matter how miniscule it can be. Differences are what people love and hate – why must it be like this? Why? For all these years, I have ventured this world alone! I have given all who come across me the chance to hear my music, talk of music, be one of music, but – nothing! Nothing but a few. But even those few, I never see them again.”
“Only a few? But I thought your singing would make you popular amongst the Rabbids.”, Peach said.
“I thought so, too. They hear me, but they don’t listen. They don’t listen! Hahaha… But you do. You listen. You listened to my music, and it brought you here! To me! At long last, you’re here with me!”
“….”
“We don’t have to be alone, princess. We seek companionship; why not have each other? I promise you more than just my music. You will be the monument to my art, the shining jewel of the stage – of the world! My dear, you are more than royalty to me. You are my dearest one, my precious rose, my muse! That is why I am here in this castle. I wanted to see you again, to see your beauty again. With every note I sing, every night, I see you in the moonlight. In the stars! In everything! I have waited for this moment for so long, your highness. Far too long. I can give you anything and everything you desire. Please…”
Suddenly Phantom clutches Peach’s body, and his eyes open, shooting a hard stare into her soul. Peach’s heart sinks into her chest. Her blood runs cold. Frozen once again as she finds herself gazing into a pair of gleaming crimson eyes. Eyes as deep as rubies – as human blood. In the pitch blackness of the room looms the giant, now in a deep trance, grasping the small frame of her body. Phantom’s demented yet pitiful grin still remains, “See me, your highness! Look at me! Tell me, my darling! How can one create a connection with someone when no one around you can understand who and what you are? Ah, princess! I am truly, utterly alone!”
With this outburst, Peach falls into unconsciousness. Realizing what he had done, Phantom wakes from his trance and catches her, letting her faint into his embrace. The princess had always been beautiful. But now, with her nightgown fitting onto her slender figure, her neck and shoulders exposed, she looked divine. Peaceful, like an angel. She is an angel. His eyes fade back into blue; his expression creased with worry. He curses to himself. If only he had kept his composure…
----
The castle guards found her shawl in the ballroom the next morning. Concern spread quickly like wildfire, and the fear of kidnapping came back once again among the servants. Talk of Bowser and Koopas and hellfire greeted the kingdom; a search party was made immediately. The commotion died down once they discovered their ruler, thankfully, within the castle. She was found lying on a velvet lounging chair, asleep, in one of the many chambers. Upon closer inspection, in her right hand, a single red rose with a black ribbon tied to it was placed within. Along with the ribbon was a small tag written in delicate penmanship:
Until we meet again.
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the8gates · 4 years ago
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Naruto Characters and What Music I Think They Would Listen To Pt.1
Naruto
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-You know those popular boys from school? The emoji tracksuit kids that like dunked on you when you walked through a door?
-Those vibes
-He listens to almost exclusively mainstream rap. It has to be 🔥🔥🔥 ya know? 
-Always talking about the new Drake album or the new Kanye album. LOVES Chance the Rapper and Childish Gambino i just see it in his eyes. 
Sasuke
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-This fuckin guy
-See, my knee jerk reaction is like your emo classics. Pierce the Veil, MCR, Linkin Park. Screamo. Metal. 
-But no. We have similar temperaments and I think that kind of music would actually irritate him. 
-I think he’s emo but more mainstream soundcloud rapper emo. Lil Peep, $UICIDEBOY$, Lil Uzi Vert. LOVES XXXTentacion.
-Post screenshots of what he’s listening to on his snapchat story and you just know the boy is going THROUGH it.
Sakura
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-OKAY so HERE is your rock and roll/metal baddie!!!
-hear me out. when she’s young its all pop. like y2k pop with R&B leanings. Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce, etc. you get the idea
-but after training under Tsundae she picks up rock. starts with some classic rock at first, then slowly progresses. 
-this girl loves Metallica and Black Sabbath. she just loves rock. Zeppelin, AC/DC, Five Finger Death Punch. All of it. I will not be taking any criticism. 
-windows down in the car, headbanging always. 
Kakashi
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-this one is a little difficult to nail down
-a part of me just wants to throw him in the pool of doesn't really care and will listen to anything
-i think he’s got a different playlist for every mood
-R&B sexy playlist with the Weeknd and some Justin Timberlake (yes he thinks that's sexy), soft sad boy hours playlist with Post Malone and Russ, a party mix with some your standard frat boy bops.
-overall, he listens to a lot of popular music
Yamato/Tenzou
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-another tough one to nail down!!!
-i truly think Yamato is a man of all tastes as well
-however.... i get country music vibes???
-not like new, pop, country. but the classics. Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Dolly Parton.
-he also likes jazz! and big band/swing. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin. What i would refer to as whiskey drinkin music. kinda classy and fun
Sai
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-girl
-i truly do not know
-the man is an enigma
-i think once he joins team 7 and kinda strays away from the foundation he’s gonna be all about trying new stuff
-so one day he’s listening to Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran and Ariana Grande. Radio pop, entry level shit
-and the next time you see him its songs he heard on tiktok exclusively
-eventually he’s down a rabbit hole, consuming music in mass quantities and he’s into Crystal Castles and Grimes. Then next week its Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. Then it’s Judas Priest and Guns N Rose. 
-everyone just gives up trying to keep track
Shikamaru
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-oh its male manipulator music ALLLL DAY
-tame impala, mac demarco, the front bottoms, arctic monkeys, modern baseball, the smiths
-you get the idea
-dont necessarily think he's the ‘male manipulator’ type but he’s def the edgy smoking cigs and listening for the lyrics type
-i don't have to go into detail here you know I'm right
Ino 
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-see, her and Sakura go down similar paths
-she started off with the y2k bubblegum pop phase but her progression is a little more understandable
-shes your typical indie (except they aren't really indie) pop darling. Lana Del Rey, Lorde, Marina and Diamonds, Melanie Martinez, the 1975.
-what I'm saying is she was definitely on tumblr in 2014 and just never moved past that phase (did any of us tbh)
-as time goes on though she starts to branch out a lil. loves the mainstream women of rap! Cardi B, Megan thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, Doja Cat. constantly bopping
Choji
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-i couldn't find any gifs of this cutie smiling and that's a crime i want addressed RIGHT NOW
-but music wise?? i mean he’s a sweetheart right?? genuinely likes pop music! Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5, Katy Perry. HUGE Bruno Mars fan surprisingly 
-i can see him just bopping his head along to the radio, just vibing and not being picky. loves a good ballad. Sam Smith, John Legend.
-hes just having a good time 
Hinata
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-queen of yearning and pining
-girl in red, mitski, HOZIER
-i feel like her playlist just looks like someone let a closeted queer girl put it together
-ABBA, St. Vincent, Florence + the Machine
-also just soft pop vibes. she’s defo posting sunset videos with the Lumineer’s playing in the background. HEAVY cottage core inspo
Shino
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-here is your true emo king
-the trinity of course. P!ATD, MCR, Fallout Boy
-then Twenty One Pilots, Paramore, GORRILAZ
-he gives me also like art kid vibes as he gets older? Weezer, Wallows, Cage the Elephant. you know the type
Kiba
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-kinda smilar to Naruto tbh
-but it HAS to be FIRE. no sad music! bass turned up and LOUD always
-i feel like he even went through a dubstep phase. 
-hes the guy in the mcdonalds drive thru ‘you know what I'm here for’ *blasts Sicko Mode* 
-some stand out faves are Travis Scott, Tyler, the Creator, Kendrick Lamar, Freddie Dredd
-he’s actually pretty cool tbh
Rock Lee
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-yall ever been to a football game and they play the same hype songs over and over? ever seen a workout montage in an 80s movie?
-thats this boy. he’s just constantly listening to workout playlists. Eye of the Tiger, Livin’ on a Prayer, Welcome to the Jungle
-outside of that, i would think some of his favorite artists would be things Gai would listen to. Billy Joel, Bon Jovi, the BEASTIE BOYS, Foreigner, Aerosmith
-what I'm trying to say is he listens to the same music ur dad listens to
Neji
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-fucking music SNOB
-’you've probably never heard of them’ headass
-and then its like the strokes or vampire weekend or some shit jfc
-male manipulator music part two but 100% fits the stereotype. hes gonna leave you on read and then cry to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. 
-some standout favorites are the Pixies, Neutral Milk Hotel, alt-J.
-likes some other stuff too. The White Stripes, The Black Keys, some Beck.
-decent taste if he wasn't such an a-hole about it!
Tenten
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-ya know what
-hyper pop. 100 gecs, Charli XCX, CMten, SOPHIE, Slayyyter, A.G. Cook. 
-i would say she started off kinda like Ino, the 2014 tumblr pop stuff
-then that just got to be too boring. so now she's riding the wave of the super new age stuff. 
-neji fucking HATES it and grumbles all the time about ‘its just noise, how can you stand that’ and it only makes her like it more. 
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kawaii-kozume · 4 years ago
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Percy Jackson ships as Pierce The Veil Songs because I can:
Valdangelo - Kissing In Cars(It is soft and I just, I see it so much. "Second chances won't leave you alone" "There's no such thing as too young" "The first time I've seen love and the last I'll ever need")
Frazel - Just The Way You Are(Okay, yes its a cover but listen to how lovestruck Vic sounds and tell me it isn't Frank..)
Percabeth - Tangled In The Great Escape(Yeah, its a lil sad and angsty, but I imagine this being Annabeth to Percy throughout Tartarus and the Titan War. It's exhausting and they're gonna escape eventually, just hang on.)
Solangelo - Hold On Til May (The song history is sad as hell and works with Nico's background. PTV wrote the song based on this girl's childhood of being neglected, running off to hide in a tree and waiting to see if her parents noticed or came looking. In the song, the singer comes and finds her and they fall in love. It just screams solangelo)
Thaluke - Bulletproof Love (I'm so sorry Thaluke stans. "We used to laugh until we choked into the wasted nights" "This isn't fair! Don't you try to blame this on me. My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me"
Jasiper - Southern Constellations/The Boy Who Could Fly (I'm so sorry Jasiper stans. This one kinds hurts, it hurt me to think about.)
Pipabeth - Circles ("You took my hand and we both started running" "I think about my life without you and I start to cry" "Save yourself, don't ever look back" This one simultaneously hurts and it's soft.)
Willeo - I'm Low On Gas And You Need A Jacket (This one's fairly angsty but uh yeah. I just think that through their downs they'd still care for each other. And trust me, they have some down, downs.)
Perachel - Bulls In The Bronx ("Do you know? I count your heartbeats before you sleep" "Maybe we're just having too much fun" "I've been having this dream we can fly")
Percico - King For A Day (They'd absolutely be there for each other past their breaking point. They'd probably encourage the other to choke a god, lets be real.)
Lukethan - Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears (There is,,,so much here that I'm 99% sure this song was just written about them /j.)
Jercy - I Don't Care If You're Contagious(Song history time: It's about a boy dying and wanting to still be around his lover because he misses them. "I'd do anything,anything, anything" "I'd kiss you even if you were dead")
Liper - A New National Anthem (I can't explain it, the vibes just work. "Firework eyes" "If I ever find the ones who hurt you, I'm hoping that God looks away." "I'm holding her just like she's gold")
Rachabeth - Disasterology ("Can we create something beautiful and destroy it?" "If it's the end of the world, you and me should spend the rest of it in love" Look, they just seem like the type to get really in their feels and be creative and destructive together and trust each other, okay?)
Jasico - A Match Into Water (*gives you a real intense look* This one speaks for itself. "I still think you're beautiful and I don't wanna lose my best friend" "I screamed out God you vulture, bring her back or take me with her!")
Theyna - Props and Mayhem (Another one that I can't explain except the vibe just fits in my opinion. "I'm gonna light up this place and die in beautiful stars!" "But I can't save the world from the creatures that don't die"
Fraleo - Million Dollar Houses (I don't have an explanation but it tracks, trust me.)
Charlena - Fast Times At Claremont High ("Without you, what's the point?" "It's over, if I die, you die too." I'm in spain but the 's' is silent.)
And there we have it. I'm sorry its long, I had Thoughts™
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tsuzuruchipalace · 4 years ago
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the other day i came up with, what i think is, a funny and great idea for an a3! american community college au fic, but i don’t think i have the mental strength to see it through. the last long fic i cared about was started in 2015 and i haven’t touched it since january 2018.
idk i may just write little ideas and scenes and keep them in a compilation, but i’d really like to flesh out the au more. but honestly, this is basically me vicariously living the toxic lifestyle i’ll never have through this au.
The working title is “vlog2/26” and I plan to make it a tsuzuru-centric tsuzuita fic
for reference, this story takes place during the school year of 2018-2019 in a fake little town I called Byles Ridge, Pennsylvania. I based it heavily off the city I live in. It’s a shitty northeastern suburb near Philly with a community college five minutes away from my house. In this au, most of Mankai  are Asian-Americans attending or working at Byles Ridge Community College. In my characterization, they all act like typical American gen z kids or millennials, if not slightly exaggerated. My main inspiration was the fic, now book, 006. I also drew inspiration from Community and my real life
here are some of my favorite lines from my outlining:
(fair warning: there is definitely not pg humor in this. if this is going on ao3, it’ll most likely be rated m)
Excerpt from the synopsis: Tsuzuru is like any other emotionally repressed American teenage boy in the 21st century; his hobbies include being single, jerking off, and pretending not to cry when he watches Toy Story 3.
Tsuzuru: “God is Dorothy from Finding Nemo and I’m that little goldfish she shook to death.”
Tsuzuru: “I’m atheist, but everyday I thank god that I wasn’t born British, ‘cause I don’t know how I would’ve handled having to pretend that Mr. Brightside is a good song.”
Tsuzuru: Being friends with Masumi sucks because it means that he’ll refuse to give anyone the aux. I’ll admit, Masumi can have good music taste. He introduced me to a lot of new artists on his “going to Taco Bell” playlist, but when he’s in a pissy mood, he’ll exclusively play XXXTentacion and now I know all the lyrics to Sad! and that’s not the person I want to be.
Masumi: “Sakuya, what the fuck is The Prince of Denmark. I talked up Miss Tachibana about Romeo and Juliet and said I was a big Shakespeare fan, then she started reciting old English.”
Sakuya: “Tsuzuru, are you okay? You look like you’re having another Michael in the Bathroom moment.”
Excerpt from Chikage’s profile: Does Zumba and weed on the weekends.
the entirety of tenma’s profile i’m so proud of this one
Tenma: is a popular football player who is still living off the high of being the Gerber Baby of Lucky Charms in 2003. He’s a first-year theatre major like Sakuya. Thinks he’s Troy from High School Musical. He uses Axe body spray and TikTok thirst traps to hide his increasingly apparent homosexuality and his middle school obsession with One Direction... There are two wolves inside you. One wolf is homophobic. One wolf finds Zayn Malik hot. You are Tenma Sumeragi.
Tenma: “It’s not gay to watch High School Musical bro. HSM is a cultural phenomenon and belongs in the Library of Congress. If you don’t like it, you’re a traitor to America.”
Yuki: “I have more balls than either of you and I’m wearing a Hello Kitty bath towel right now.”
Misumi: “Of course I do weed. I’m autistic, not a loser.”
Excerpt from Kazu’s profile: Has 100k followers on Tiktok for shaking his ass and being a local nuisance. Cried when Vine shut down.
Kazu: “How many times do I need to dance to Doja Cat before I get my clout?”
Excerpt from Taichi’s profile: Considered opening a cat femboy OnlyFans back when he didn’t have enough money to pay for his growing Bakugan collection. Kissed a boy once for a dare and didn’t like it, but still vibes to Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl cuz that shit slaps.
Banri: *after listening to Troye Sivan for the first time* “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.”
Taichi: “Everyone rise for the national anthem: Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne.”
Azami: “I’m gonna go listen to Pierce the Veil and cry until Gerard Way comes back.”
Tsumugi: “At this rate, I’m going to have to find a man on Christian Mingle.”
Excerpt from Tasuku’s profile: Has repressed the idea that he’s in love with Tsumugi ever since they kissed in Christian summer camp when they were 12. Doesn’t remember that, due to the repression. But Tsumugi does.
Excerpt from Homare’s profile: He either dresses like it’s 1940 or like he’s the hero from the children’s show Lazytown. Will start crying if someone brings up the Library of Alexandria
Azuma: “Do I sleep with strangers? Yes. Do I take money from strangers? Yes. Am I a prostitute? No, because those are two separate occasions.”
Guy: “Can you inform me what a Juul is?”
“That’s a fucking Baja Blast in his hand.” “What the shit.” “Itaru Chigasaki orders fucking Baja Blast from Taco Bell. Unbelievable.” “Who doesn’t. Baja Blast fucks.” “I’m snapping this.” “You’ll put that camera down right now before I snap your neck.” “The public deserves to know.” “A man has a right to privacy, especially when it comes to his eating habits.”
And if you’re interested in this au, here’s my playlist for it, subject to change (feel free to suggest songs). Some songs are what I imagine the main characters would listen to and some just fit the vibe of the au:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIjsgyx8Ea22wwH4eO-QlywAiIVWZNcCx
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roseskiesandbutterflies · 3 years ago
Text
Le Démon Déchu - Chapter 2: Réponses Et Plus De Questions
Summary: The summary is kind of long so please check a previous part or my masterlist if you want to read it.
Warning(s): threat, swearing
Word Count: 6.8k+
Inspiration: Do You Know What Eternity Is? by Elderly_Worm on AO3, Great Omens (The Big One) by falsepremise on AO3, Pray For Us, Icarus series by Atalan on AO3, Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm on AO3, wasteland, baby by john1513 on AO3, Not of Us by ShesAKillerQueen98 on AO3, How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman on AO3, Doctor Who (don’t ask) and, of course, Good Omens itself
A/N: Okay I took a bit of a hiatus from writing literally anything for about five months so sorry about that but I’m back now!! That’s the main thing. Also, I’ve left high school now which is very exciting! That does mean I’ll have so much more time to write and I’m definitely going to try and use this summer to establish some kind of routine for writing so that when I start college, I won’t get too overwhelmed with both my studies and with updating my fics. That’s the plan anyway so don’t hold me to that lmao. With any luck, now I’ve actually said that it’ll have to happen. (I wrote that part of this note back in May when it was the start of the summer. It is currently September and I’m just about to finally publish this chapter and I assure you, I am cringing at my own optimism.) Sorry this took so long to post. This chapter has been in the works since May (yes, I know I’m terrible) but I actually got a lot more writing done in that time that what you just see in this chapter. All will be revealed soon. I just promise that I have been productive. Once you’ve read this chapter, you have my blessing to translate the title of this fic. Hopefully it will make sense.
I just wanted to point out something about the playlist I linked in the previous chapter. I am well aware that there are some rather problematic people in it, namely Sia. I want you all to know that I don’t support her in any way (I don’t like her at all I think she’s a complete ableist twat). Her songs are only on there because of how well they fit with the story (a lot of this will become clearer as the story goes on).
I also wanted to point out that I know that if angels do exist, then their true forms probably wouldn’t look anything like humans. I’m well aware of that, I’m not an idiot, I don’t know if any of you remember when people started googling ‘angel true form’ and some people got scared lmao. The point is, we’ve all seen the pictures. But for the purpose of this story, and honestly just to make it easier for me to describe what the characters are doing, we’re going to have to pretend that they did look like humans. Can I claim creative license with this one? Maybe it got lost in translation because there is probably no way someone could describe how an angel truly looks in any human language? I don’t know, just roll with it.I know that this chapter had so much exposition and explanation in it but I can promise you two things. One, there is still much to be revealed. Two, I promise this isn’t just bad writing on my part. Just trust that I needed to put this all in this early on.
And how is everyone doing after the season 2 announcement? I mean, at the time of writing this specific part of my notes, it only got announced about an hour ago lmao. I’m very fucking excited, oh my god. It’s all I’ve been able to think about since I found out I can’t lie. Catch me trying to finish this before it comes out in case things occur which means I have to change things in this story. I can’t be arsed for that. Oh well. Hopefully it’ll read like those Sherlock fics that people wrote in between series 2 and series 3 if that doesn’t happen.
Taglist: @briarrose26​
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Hermit (upright) + Five of Wands (upright)
Conflict. Reflection. Resurfacing memories.
************
Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other.
We know who our enemies are. We know.
– Richard Siken (Detail of the Fire)
************
“Fuck.”
The angel and demon exchanged glances of what could only be described as thinly veiled panic, while the woman in front of them just looked annoyed at the most.
“They couldn’t wait five minutes, could they?” she muttered, pinching at the bridge of her nose in frustration before standing up again, “Look, just stay down here, I’m gonna go sort this out. With any luck they won’t have actually realised you’re here too.”
“Wait, how do you know they’re here for you?” Crowley asked, suddenly curious as to what business Eloise might have with Heaven.
“Just a gut feeling,” she said before making her way to the spiral staircase behind them, muttering to herself, “If they were here for you, I feel like they would have at least used the front door.”
The other two waited until she’d run upstairs before exchanging a quick glance, an unspoken word, and following her up.
Meanwhile, Eloise was hovering outside a room at the end of the corridor which she could only assume was the bedroom. She was strangely hesitant, not out of fear of them, simply out of fear of the unknown. She hadn’t spoken to anyone in that room for millennia, and something told her that this wasn’t going to be a friendly chat. She took a deep breath, even though she technically didn’t need it, letting a wave of faux confidence wash over her, and stepped inside. Don’t crumble now. You’ve come too far to crumble now.
“Ah, Mariel, long time no see,” Gabriel smiled coldly, brushing the dust off his white suit. Flanked by two other angels, he stood in the wreckage of the bedroom without even acknowledging the damage they must have caused when they crashed in. Beside him were Beelzebub and Hastur, who both looked as though they had been dragged kicking and screaming to come here. Beelzebub in particular kept shooting metaphorical daggers at Gabriel, who remained perfectly oblivious. The entire ceiling had caved in from the impact of their crash, the setting sun painting the doorway where Eloise stood in a pale gold and casting a dark shadow over the others.
She’d grimaced at the use of her old name; it was too unfamiliar, too ancient. Mariel was the name of a long-dead version of herself. Once upon a time, she’d embraced it, but that was once upon a time. Once upon a time long gone.
“Almost like I’ve been avoiding you on purpose,” she muttered, leaning against the doorway as she stared intrusively at each person in the room, observing, assessing. She silently revelled in the blatant discomfort in each of their faces.
“No need to be so rude,” Gabriel said, doing anything to avoid her eyes, his previous confident façade now shattered.
Eloise stared at him in disbelief, “What exactly were you expecting? A fucking welcome party? I haven’t seen any of you in over six thousand years and you just crash through the roof of my house, unannounced and uninvited, so yeah, forgive me for being a little irritated.” She couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty. She’d barely been in Aziraphale’s bookshop for fifteen minutes and she was already pretending she owned it.
She watched smugly as he squirmed under her gaze, desperately looking to the others to say something in response. A moment or two passed before Beelzebub’s head suddenly snapped up in confusion, “Are you alone?”
Shit. She’d hoped that they wouldn’t have noticed the presence of the two who were definitely not downstairs like she’d asked. She swallowed, trying not to let any kind of emotion show on her face, trying not to give the game up that quickly, “Yeah, I live on my own.” She watched the whole group of them squint in concentration, trying to sense any other beings in the house. She sighed, changing the subject before they could comment on it any further, “Look, what do you want? I don’t have all day so if you could make it quick then that would be much appreciated.”
Gabriel looked back at her, his suave exterior unfortunately making a return, “Hey, we just wanted to check up on you, see how you’re doing-”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” she snapped. She pushed herself off from the doorway, stalking towards the others, “You have had six thousand years to ‘check up on me’, don’t pretend you’ve only started to care now.”
She was met with only silence as Gabriel and Beelzebub glanced at each other awkwardly, looking very much like chastised children. Suddenly the latter groaned and cried, “You can’t just leave Hell!”
“Oh, here we go,” Eloise muttered, rolling her eyes, bored already.
“You can’t! You Fell from Heaven, so you go to Hell, there isn’t a third option!”
“Well, apparently there is,” she shrugged.
“No there isn’t!” they argued, face screwed up like a petulant child.
“Then what do you call this then?” she asked, unfolding her wings for the second time that day. She studied their reactions closely, scrutinising coal-black eyes piercing through their very souls. She was searching for any hint of shock, of recognition, of anything that could clue her in as to what was going on in their heads at that moment. All she could find, however, was pure, unadulterated confusion. Which was annoying when her wings were supposed to be an answer to their unasked questions.
Gabriel stumbled over his words, “Good Lord, how did you even-”
Eloise cut him off curtly, no longer having the patience to listen to his incoherent mumbles. She instead turned to Beelzebub who at least had the decency to look a little more composed, “That would be what you could sense then. I’ve got both Heaven and Hell in me, that’s a lot of energy to pick up on.” She stared right through them, daring them to say anything else.
“Must be,” they replied slowly, though they didn’t look at all convinced.
Gabriel held up a hand, his eyes darting about as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing, “No hold on, how did you even manage that?”
“I left Hell,” Eloise said simply, “Why should I have black wings? I’m not some demon who ran away from everything. I left. Permanently. I looked Hell in the eye and walked away. You know what? Fuck it, I looked Satan in the eyes and walked away.”
“You what?” he stuttered.
“Yeah, you heard me. You have a problem with me leaving Hell then go on! Take that up with the bloody devil,” she said, staring them down, daring them to retaliate. She smirked when she was met with pure, uncomfortable silence, “Except you won’t, will you? Because you don’t actually give two fucks about me. Just like I said, if you did then you would have chased me up a long time ago. Quite frankly, I think you must have been glad to have me out of your hair,” she sighed, half sad, half amused when they couldn’t even meet her eye. She paused for a moment, wondering how far she could push this, before asking, “You know what I think is really going on here? I think the pair of you are feeling a bit bruised after the absolute shitshow that was Armageddon last year, which, by the way, fucking hilarious. I think your egos are feeling a little sore after a literal child stopped you from ending the world, so you’re thinking ‘hmm, what would be an easy win so that we don’t feel like total shit? Oh yeah, what about that demon who ran away all that time ago? That should be easy to sort out.’. Well, love to disappoint, but you’re not getting me that easily, especially when not a single one of us actually wants me back, and Sandalphon, take one more step further I swear I will dropkick you back to Heaven,” she snapped, glaring at the angel who had been menacingly inching closer while she had been talking. He reluctantly stepped back alongside Gabriel, looking a little more than miffed that his plan hadn’t worked out. “You really want me back? Get your bosses to talk to me because I don’t actually see why it’s any of your business. No middle men. Just God, Satan and me. I’ll see what they have to say about all this. Questions?” she asked, tone snapping from one extreme to another, almost as if she had just been possessed.
Gabriel stared at her, mouth gaping like a fish, “You can’t just boss us around like that.”
“What? Like how you bossed us around all those years?” she replied without missing a beat, real rage, real danger seeping into her voice now, “I think we’re done here.”
“But-”
“I said, I think we’re done here,” she said, leaving no room for arguments. She gestured to the sorry excuse for a room around them, “Now, if you wouldn’t mind cleaning this up.”
“Why can’t you do it? You can miracle things too,” Gabriel said, desperate for any kind of leverage over Eloise.
“You’re right, I could, but I didn’t make this mess, and I personally believe that you should face the consequences of your actions, Gabriel,” she said pointedly, watching as he visibly gulped. In a matter of seconds, the room was restored to its original state and Eloise was left alone in the room, no indicators that she was ever with any other people remaining.
She sighed and all but collapsed into a chair that may or may not have existed a few moments ago, confident façade shattered completely. She breathed heavily in exhaustion, as if she’d just run a marathon; she supposed she had just run a mental one. Her emotions were bugging her to no end. It was strange. She wasn’t scared, per se. There was very little that Gabriel or Beelzebub could do to her that would frighten her anymore. She tried her best to compose herself, writing off the tsunami inside her mind as just plain old adrenaline, before calling out, “You can come in now. I know you guys are outside, it’s okay, you can come in.”
Crowley and Aziraphale walked into the room, one looking considerably more sheepish than the other. Aziraphale perched awkwardly on the freshly reconstructed bed, “We’re sorry–”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, we’re not.”
Eloise and Crowley exchanged a glance, amused looks on both of their faces while Aziraphale simply looked distressed. Eloise turned back to him and smiled sympathetically, “I told you, it’s fine. I would have done the same,” she admitted, looking away before collecting herself once again, “So, I’m guessing you have a lot of questions–”
“That’s the understatement of the century,” Crowley muttered as he took a seat beside Aziraphale, although it was a very loose definition of ‘taking a seat’.
Aziraphale glared at him while Eloise just sighed and reluctantly said, “I think it might be better if I just show you.”
Crowley cocked his head in confusion, “Show us what?”
She brought her chair closer to the edge of the bed and put out her hands, “Take my hands. Brace yourselves.”
Mariel was standing before a crowd of angels, dozens upon dozens of disgusted faces staring right at her. She couldn’t quite remember getting there. She had been in the pitch-dark holding cell and the next thing she knew, she was here. Blinding white light surrounded them, harshly illuminating her vulnerabilities before all of Heaven. She tried her best to keep her chin up even though she absolutely hated the fact that they could see the bruises from when she had been arrested that were now blooming on her face. She frowned as she noticed the lack of measures preventing her from escaping. All that was keeping her there was Gabriel’s presence at her side, cold violet eyes pointedly ignoring her. He really was an arrogant bastard for assuming that she wouldn’t even try to make a run for it. Just because he was right this one time, it didn’t mean that he shouldn’t have come prepared. Mariel sighed and looked up at the angels staring down at her. Michael was sat higher than everyone in the centre of the crowd, face void of all emotion as she said, “The Principality Mariel. You’re on trial today for betraying the will of the Almighty, rebelling against all that is good and light in the universe...”
Mariel blocked the rest of her pretentious speech out as she droned on about all the awful things she’d supposedly done to deserve this. It was all lies anyway. She knew the real reason she was here. There were a few things that stood out to her despite it all, things that nearly made her laugh. She’d known that they’d needed to conjure up some reasons for condemning her, but this was just ridiculous. Gabriel really had gone to extraordinary yet desperate lengths to slander her in her final moments in this Someone-forsaken place. She was surprised that the angels gathered to watch her downfall believed a word of this. She tried her best not to resent them, though. It wasn’t like they had anything better to believe in. Especially considering the amused smirk that had crept its way onto her face.
She returns to reality just in time to hear Michael ask, “What do you have to say to defend yourself?”
“I’ve done nothing I need to defend,” she said firmly, leaving no room for argument.
“Don’t make this worse for yourself than it already is,” Gabriel muttered dangerously from where he stood beside her.
Mariel turned to look at him in disbelief. “How the fuck could this get any worse, Gabriel?” she hissed, fury flaring up in her eyes.
He just looked back at her condescendingly, “Do you really need me to answer that?”
She pointedly refused to reply, turning back to face Michael, determined to ignore him.
The next part goes past in a blur for Mariel. Michael speaks again, though she doesn’t listen. Then suddenly there are shouts of anger, screams of rage, coming from the gathered crowd. They spit with venom as they hurl insults at her. She doesn’t hear a word. It’s as though her head is under water, completely submerged in the stone cold anger that seeps through her body, and suddenly Mariel is drowning in the realisation that this is really happening, oh God this is really happening.
Why? Why is this happening to me? You listening, God? Look me in the eye and tell me why this is happening.
She doesn’t get an answer, and though she wasn’t expecting one, it still hurts. Because she knows that she’ll never get an answer from Her again now.
Eventually she feels a tug on her arm from where Gabriel has been standing, dragging her away from the crowd and out her of current state of mind. She could feel her senses coming back to her as she stumbled backwards, but everything was crashing down on her too quickly, too harshly. She did her best to shove the rising panic as deep down insider her as she could. There was no way she would let anyone here see her in that state. She couldn’t let them think they’d won.
She didn’t even realise she had reached the edge of the ground she was standing on, the edge of Heaven itself, Gabriel no longer grabbing her arm. She nearly found herself peering over the edge, but stopped herself before she could lean too far. It may have helped her in the past but now was not the time to give in to her curiosity. And she didn’t trust Gabriel to not push her the moment he had the chance. She turned her head to glare fiercely at him, piercing holes in his very soul. She could slowly feel her anxiety being replaced by cool rage as she found herself saying, “Any institution that tries to silence anyone who opposes them is inherently corrupt.” She stared knowingly at his discomfort as he forced himself to face her. He knew what she meant by that. He knew.
He took a second to compose himself before practically scoffing in her face, “Don’t preach at me.”
Mariel cocked her head as she studied him. She watched as his eyes subconsciously flicked back to the crowd, to the other Archangels. He blatantly wanted nothing more than to re-join his fellow angels, the only beings who understood why he was doing what he was doing, or were at least supposed to understand anyway. Somehow she doubted they were all as cold-hearted and self-absorbed as the angel in front of her. She considered him for a moment before saying simply, “Your quest for power will kill you in the end.”
He furrowed his brows in somewhat amused confusion, “Is that a threat?”
“No. It’s the truth,” she blinked at him before leaning in and murmuring in his ear, “It will be your downfall.”
“The only one who’s going to Fall around here is you,” he said dangerously. Mariel leaned back and watched the lethal glimmer in his eye wither and die under the intensity of her gaze.
She just smiled. “We’ll see.” She let herself look at him for a moment longer before blinking away the tears and cautiously taking a small step backwards. She could feel where the ground ended beneath her feet and was sure not to step any further. She took one last look of the place she once called home, embracing how it felt for the last time though she knew she wouldn’t miss it.
She closed her eyes for a moment and fell back.
Mariel was Falling. That bit she knew, but much more than that? Everything was happening too fast for her to notice. And yet, it was as if she was existing in slow-motion. She worried for a moment that this was, in fact, her fate; doomed to remain in a perpetual state of limbo, of Falling, for all eternity. The only thing telling her otherwise was the view of Heaven above her, which she realised only too late was slowly shrinking into nothing. Mariel found herself reaching her own arms out, grasping for Heaven. They were opposite ends of a magnet being roughly pulled away from each other by an invisible force.
You hear that God? Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? And don’t you dare tell me it’s all part of your plan because right now, the only thing I want is to be back where I should be and I can’t even have that.
She pulled herself out of her mind and back into reality; she’d have plenty of time in Hell to yell at a God who’d never listen, let alone answer. She only just started to register her surroundings, the fact that she was actually Falling, who knows how far and for how long, tumbling through the air at an unimaginable speed, plummeting towards a place that could be anything from seconds to hours away. The deafening wind that screamed in her ears, drowning out the screams which may have been coming from her mouth or her mind, who was she to say? Air whipped around her body, icier and more painful than any words that could ever be uttered by the angels above her. It wasn’t until she could no longer see any hint of Heaven on the horizon that she started to feel the tears finally fall, trickling down her face and floating slightly due to the force of the Fall.
Then suddenly it came. She felt it in the very tips of her wings first, a strange tingling sensation, as though hundreds and then thousands of pins were skirting the edges of her corporeal being. It spread over the rest of her wings, and then her body, at a faster pace than she could keep track of until her whole being felt as though it was burning. The pain grew, and it grew, and it grew, and she didn’t think she could physically take any more pain when she looked up in horror at her own freshly blackened wings. Her beautiful, holy wings which had once been the softest, purest white, were now stained with evil and ash. For the first time since she started Falling, however long ago that might have been, she let out a choked sob that racked through her whole body and through the ever-changing air around her. Nobody heard her cries. Nobody heard her screams as the searing pain in her chest grew stronger. She couldn’t even begin to work out whether it was physical or emotional but it was there and it burned a hole, a gaping wound, through her soul, leaving a scar fated to never heal and to forever haunt her-
Eloise was crying. She’d tried so hard to prevent the steady streams that were now running down her cheeks, but that was a memory that she’d never wanted to relive. She looked upwards for a moment, trying to regain control of her emotions and her breathing, before peeling her hands away from the two sat in front of her. She roughly wiped the tears from her face, and suddenly the only thing telling you she had been crying were the bloodshot eyes that Crowley tried to ignore as he said bluntly, “I’m still confused.”
“Crowley, give her a minute,” Aziraphale chastised him, furrowing his brows at the demon before he turned back to Eloise with kind eyes and a kinder heart, “Are you alright, my dear?”
She nodded without much hesitation, “I’m fine, it’s okay.” She certainly wasn’t fine, nor was it okay, but the last thing she wanted was to have to deal with her feelings in front of two people she was trying her best not to scare off. She looked back at Crowley, eyebrows raised in curiosity.
He looked at her in understanding, for if anyone knew her thought process in that moment, it was him. “Right, so you Fell and became a demon. Then what?”
“Well, you know what Hell’s like,” she started, looking pointedly at Crowley. She waited for him to nod before continuing, “Not my scene at all. I just point-blank refused to do anything they asked of me. Naturally they didn’t like that much. Eventually I was called in to see Satan about it. I remember thinking, ‘well, that’s that then. Terrible knowing you all.’, because I didn’t think I was going to survive that. Turns out he was just annoyed that I was being a bloody nuisance to everyone else, but he was too amused to really do anything about it, so he basically just told me to piss off. Leave Hell, don’t come back, and I won’t tell anyone where you’ve gone or that you’re even alive. Not exactly a deal I could refuse, so I left, came to Earth, been here ever since. I think everyone just assumed he’d killed me,” she shrugged as if she hadn’t just destroyed the whole idea of eternal damnation with just a few sentences. She smiled to herself as they gaped at her for a moment, though she doubted they realised they were doing it.
Crowley somehow managed to gather his senses quick enough to hold up a hand and say, “Wait, but when you were talking to Gabriel and Beelzebub and that lot, you said they had six thousand years to check up on you. Why would you say that if they thought you were dead?” He narrowed his eyes at her. He wasn’t altogether quite sure why he seemed to be so keen on finding any gaps in her story, but he needed to be able to trust that she was telling the truth. Or at least that’s what he told himself.
Aziraphale’s eyes lit up with understanding. “Yes, and they didn’t exactly seem surprised to see you alive.”
Eloise grinned. You two are gonna be fun, I can tell. “You’re both very observant, I have to give you credit for that.” She paused in thought for a second before starting carefully, “You see, the trouble with me is that I’m not really one for keeping a low profile. I’m too noisy, so to speak, and I don’t even realise it most of the time. This demon I hadn’t exactly been the nicest to back in Hell saw me in Babylon, gosh, it must have been eighteen thirty something BC? Anyways, he ratted me out to Beelzebub who must have told Gabriel all about it. I had about a decade of this bloody demon trying to discorporate me just to see if it would force me to go back to Hell, then one day he just stopped, and I never saw him again. Beelzebub probably told him to piss off.”
They were both quiet again for a little while. Eloise didn’t even think to say anything. It might be a rare occasion, but she did know when to keep her mouth shut when it mattered. She could see the cogs turning in their heads as if it was projected in the air above them. Eventually Crowley murmured, “I didn’t even know you could do that, you know, leave.”
She shook her head with a strange kind of sympathy that came from recognising an experience you had far too long ago, “Neither did I. It stills shocks me sometimes if I think about it too much.”
A few seconds passed before Crowley cleared his throat abruptly and said, “They called you Mariel. I thought you said your name was Eloise.”
She hesitated before answering. She knew exactly what he was doing, she’d been doing it for the whole of their conversation thus far, but just because she tended to bury her emotions, it didn’t mean that she liked it when others did it. She decided to ignore the hypocrisy of that thought, how ironic, she thought to herself, and instead explained, “It is. Mariel was my angel name. You know how it is,” she looked pointedly at Crowley again, hoping that Aziraphale would be able to put the pieces together. She didn’t actually know how much he knew about what it was like to Fall and become a demon.
“Oh, so is Eloise your demon name?” Aziraphale asked politely.
“No,” she said curtly, instantly feeling guilty when she saw the hurt that flashed over Aziraphale’s face. She grimaced and explained in a gentler tone, “I chose it for myself when I came to Earth. Hell tried to change my name after I Fell but I just refused.” She studied him for a second, watching his eyes dart about, before saying, “You want to ask something, I can tell. What is it?”
He looked a little startled at being caught out, momentarily glancing at Crowley for support, probably subconsciously, Eloise noted with a smile. “I, well, I couldn’t help but notice that you mentioned Armageddon. Back when you were speaking with, um, well, you know. H-how did you know about that?”
“I might have been there.” The words rushed out of her mouth in a much less casual manner than what she’d been aiming for, coming out in a sort of jumbled heap that took Crowley and Aziraphale a moment to decipher.
Crowley, the poor sod, could only think to lean forward and ask a simple, “You what?”
She jumped to defend herself, wanting to avoid the onslaught of questions if she could, “Not actually at the airbase, but I was in the area. I was living in Tadfield at the time.”
Aziraphale narrowed his eyes, although the hint of a smirk on his face told her it was more in amusement than suspicion, “How did you know it was at the airbase?”
Eloise couldn’t help but chuckle to herself because of course, they’d notice her choice of words, “I knew Adam and his mates. I ran an ice cream shop, would you believe it. He came and told me all about it the day after,” she smiled fondly before suddenly coming alive with excitement, “That’s actually how I found out about you two. That’s why I’m here. Because I thought I was the only one trying to stop the world ending, but apparently I wasn’t. I had to see for myself.”
A moment passed before Aziraphale asked quietly, “You were trying to stop it?”
Eloise, not noticing the newly subdued atmosphere, launched herself into a painfully over-enthusiastic explanation, “Yeah, it was quite clever really, if I do say so myself. I made sure Adam was swapped with the American baby in the hopes that he would have a human enough upbringing to perhaps change things. Seems to have worked,” she shrugged, before finally taking in the two shocked faces that were staring back at her. Her brows furrowed and her face fell as she asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You switched the babies?” Crowley asked blankly, although it came out as more of a statement than a question.
Her face screwed up as she tried to work out how best to explain herself. “Well, I say switched, it was more of a ‘made sure the demon dropping the antichrist off went to the wrong delivery room’ kind of thing. Feel sorry for the poor sod who had to deal with that but needs must.”
Crowley blinked at her and said bluntly, “I was the poor sod who had to deal with that.”
Eloise looked at him for a moment as about five different jigsaw pieces finally clicked in her head, before she threw her head back in realisation, “Oh shit, so you were. I knew your name sounded familiar.”
“You bastard, we spent six years raising the wrong child because of you!” he exclaimed, wagging his finger at her and jumping off of the bed at one point before Aziraphale tugged him back down. Eloise didn’t know whether to laugh or run for her life, for the menace in his words was betrayed by the disbelieving laugh in his voice.
“I’m sorry, you did what now?” she asked, only just processing what he’d just said, and she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her lips at his dramatic antics. She knew not to push it when Aziraphale just lifted a finger and pursed his lips with the look of someone who’d rather never bring up said event again.
“Oh bloody heaven, I can’t believe this,” Crowley shook his head, chuckling to himself. Although part of him resented it, he couldn’t help but look at Eloise differently now as they laughed like little kids together. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed so much more like them now, so much more human. Or maybe it was the fact that she had been trying to stop the apocalypse and all the implications that came with the fact. Suddenly he just wanted to know more about her, but he quickly silenced that thought. One thing at a time.
She raised her shoulders with a confused look on her face, giggling as she said, “Sorry? Well, I didn’t know, did I?”
They locked eyes for a moment before bursting into laughter again at the sheer absurdity of it all, leaving Aziraphale slightly bewildered and more than slightly exasperated at the pair. It took them a few moments to finally calm down but once they did, Crowley sobered his tone of voice as he asked, “Right, back to what happened before we came in. Anything we need to keep an eye out for?”
Though he didn’t say it, Eloise could see the unasked question in his eyes. Are we safe? She smiled softly, “Nah, you two’ll be fine. Basically I told them if they want to talk to me, then they need to get their bosses involved, and somehow I highly doubt God and Satan are gonna pop down for a friendly chat any time soon. Even then, you two should be fine. I don’t think any of that lot clocked on that you were here.”
Crowley nodded in understanding, and it didn’t escape Eloise’s attention how the remaining dregs of tension visibly dissipated from both of their bodies. Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other for a moment, the relief palpable from the pair of them. Eloise averted her eyes, giving them the privacy that they didn’t necessarily need but probably did want. She allowed herself a moment to ponder their relationship. They were very in tune with each other, very in sync, that much was obvious. Are they in love? The question sounded ridiculous the moment she thought it. Of course they are, look at them. She’d seen that look time and time again over the millennia. Although when she thought about the way they looked at each other further, that lead to another question. Do they know? The hint of yearning in their eyes was subtle but it was there. No, absolutely not. They’re too comfortable with each other. They’re a unit, that much she could tell. A unit that might not want to be disturbed.
Oh dear.
She looked back up at them hesitantly, unsure of what to say for the first time that evening. Eventually she said, “I’d better go. I think I’ve outstayed my welcome.”
Crowley frowned. Hadn’t she said she’d been travelling for a while? “You got somewhere to stay?”
Eloise paused. She’d definitely not been expecting that response. “Not yet. There is a flat I was going to rent but the people haven’t moved out yet because of the lockdown and it seems rude to miracle them away. I’m sure I’ll think of something.”
“Stay here,” Crowley said almost instantly, then pulled a face of confusion at how quickly he replied, “I mean, only if you want to.”
Eloise blinked at that. Surely, they wouldn’t want her there? What reason could they possibly have to want her there? “Wait, are you sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
Crowley just shrugged, “It’s not a problem. What are your options anyway? No hotels are open, and you can’t stay with anyone.”
“Only if you’re sure,” she murmured, still wary for a reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She glanced at Aziraphale for confirmation; it was his bookshop after all.
He nodded firmly, “Of course. I’ve been told the sofa is remarkably comfy,” he added with a twinkle in his eye, to which she grinned broadly.
A short while and a few miracles later, the sofa downstairs had become a makeshift bed that was significantly larger and softer than it had remembered it being. Eloise was currently settled on it; all it had taken was ten minutes for her to completely crash out. Aziraphale and Crowley had left her in peace with a chuckle, heading up to the bedroom they shared (that wasn’t out of choice, mind you. Simply because there was only one bedroom in the bookshop. No other reason.) One slightly confused item of furniture aside, all seemed to be well in the bookshop.
Upstairs in the bedroom, an angel and a demon were sitting in the same bed. Neither of them had thought to turn off the lights, so they were sat in thick silence in the bedroom. Aziraphale didn’t usually come up to bed, not as used to sleeping as Crowley was, instead opting to read the night away downstairs. However this seemed impolite considering their new guest, so he’d come up with Crowley. And while Crowley was mulling this over he finally stumbled upon why he felt so uneasy.
Aziraphale hadn’t brought a book up with him.
As bizarre a concern as that may seem, Crowley could always trust Aziraphale to bring a book up to bed with him on the rare occasion he came up at night. That was one of the things he lo- liked about him. Liked. He looked at Aziraphale curiously, noting the slight frown on his face as he stared into space. How deep in his head must he have been to forget a book? “You alright, angel?” he asked as softly as he could so as to not startle him.
He looked at Crowley with wide eyes that darted away almost instantly as he started to play with his hands in his lap, “Yes, my dear, I’m fine. I just realised something, is all.”
Crowley cocked his head in interest, “Oh really? What was it?”
He was silent for a little while before saying in a voice no louder than a whisper, “I think I was there when she Fell.”
Crowley felt his eyebrows raise in shock, looking away for a second to try and compose himself. “Right. Well, that’s a thing.”
“Quite.”
He furrowed his brows as he tried to make sense of what this meant now, “And was she telling the truth? Did all that actually happen?”
“Yes. I remember it perfectly well. Clear as day,” he managed to choke out with a forced smile before going back to his routine fidgeting.
Crowley laid a gentle hand on top of Aziraphale’s, stopping what he was doing and getting him to actually look him in the eye for longer than a second. “You sure you’re alright?”
“I am quite well. Don’t fret,” he said, and despite Crowley’s concern, he couldn’t pretend that the smile on Aziraphale’s face wasn’t genuine, however small it may have been.
He reluctantly let it go, changing the subject quickly, “You alright with her staying here? I know it just sort of happened.”
The smile on his face only grew, much to Crowley’s surprise, “It’s alright. After all, wasn’t it you who said we’re on our own side now? I think she’s the first person we’ve met who might understand what that means.”
Crowley tried not to think too much about the fact that Aziraphale had actually listened to him when he’d said that, let alone remembered it, instead opting for a casual, “Yeah, I suppose so. Right, I’m gonna get some sleep. I, um, yeah,” he stammered out awkwardly, cursing his brain for not thinking of literally any other decent response.
Aziraphale simply smiled fondly at him, “Indeed. Goodnight, my dear.”
*************
Hello my love,
At the time of writing this, I do not know what the future holds. For me it’s an uncertain, unstoppable force, and it’s not one I think I can fend off for much longer. I’ve tried, please believe that I’ve tried. I’ve tried for your sake to prevent the inevitable. But it’s coming. I can feel it. It won’t be long now, I don’t think.
If you’re reading this, it means I was right, and I have Fallen. I know you’re probably confused and scared and that there is a biting anger bubbling inside you. I wish I could tell you why this is happening. I wish I could tell you that this is all a huge misunderstanding that will be resolved soon.
I wish I could tell you I love you one more time.
But I can’t. There are many things I can’t do now, and it’ll do me no good to dwell on this any longer than I have to. To survive we must focus on what we can do, and that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do.
If I know myself as well as I think I do, there are many things I would have liked to have said to you upon our final farewell, but didn’t because I wanted to make sure you were alright. Don’t feel guilty about this, my love. Think of it as my last debt to you being repaid.
I have a plan. Well, it’s more of an idea, and it might not work. And it’s because of this that I shan’t tell you exactly what it is. It seems cruel to allow you to hope for something that might never come into fruition. But please put your faith in me, and in our love, for we will prevail. One way or another.
I hope that you didn’t wait to read this letter because you were scared of its contents, though I’m sure this isn’t the case. You were always brave. It was always something I loved about you. Your quiet, beautiful, roaring courage in the face of such turmoil and anguish. You always had the courage to be kind and to love with all your being, even when everything was against you. No one would have blamed you if you had turned cold and bitter, and yet you chose not to. I admire you for it every day. My idea, should it work, will require us both to be incredibly brave. But more on that another day. It’s that bravery and that strength that you will need to rely on now. That, and the thought of me. Though I may not physically be with you, but I hope that my love’s own soul is enough.
I won’t sign off this letter, because this is not where our story ends. There is much left to be written. And I need you to remember that each day we are parted. Until the next time, my love.
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