#yes i use 'stuff' a lot
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow
Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.
I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.
This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods
And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.
Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?
Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.
Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.
Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it
...this went on longer than intended.
TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.
EDIT: Part 2
#I swear to god if any one of you in the notes calls me terminally online or pretends I'm saying you can just dump bags in the ocean#Yes definitely do your best to live sustainably#But also#You personally are not killing pandas#Unless you are in which case please stop#We put too much money into pandas but let them go in peace#Go do some yoga#Sorry if this is a lot but I have a friend with OCD who has legit panic attacks over stuff like this#Like they have to throw out a ripped plastic grocery bag they've had for six years instead of using it to weave yard furniture or smthn#And they'd go into a spiral about killing the planet#So like#I have strong feelings now
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maybe it’s because it’s “too obvious” but im surprised how few readings I’ve seen of the Substance (2024) that discuss the themes of addiction and substance (ha) use & abuse.
in moderation you can use the substance to become a better, more fun, easier, happier version of yourself. then you realize you no longer want to be who you are when you’re not on the substance. then taking the same dose that used to be enough before isn’t enough anymore, so you want to take more, and just a little bit more couldn’t hurt, right? so you start to take even more. but this is only taking away from sober you, which is painful and difficult and even scarier than what compelled you to take it in the first place, so of course you can’t stop now. now you want to take even more, you NEED to take even more. sober life becomes harder and harder to bear, especially compared to how much easier everything is on the substance. now you’re not only using it to enjoy that feeling anymore, you’re using it to hide from what you’re turning into without it, from what you’ve already turned into.
every minute that you’re sober is spent counting down the days until you can use again, and the ends of being high are spent dreading going back. the sober self is upset and jealous at how irresponsible the high self is. the high self is upset at how much of a buzzkill the sober self is, and wishes they could exist on their own, without requiring their sober tether to existence. but the sober and high selves are the same person, you are one, and you become jealous and angry at yourself for ruining your own life in a vain attempt to become an impossible version of yourself that you most desire to be.
you want so badly to have all—and only all—of the best parts that you milk yourself dry, until you end up with all—and nothing but all—of the bad parts. by the time you truly feel that you have indeed lost everything and know you need to stop, the damage is already done, and there is no going back. you wish you had stopped at the first chance, you wish you had never started to begin with. and even then for many people the only way to deal with this terrifying, painful reality is to use even more, because you have made this terrifying, painful life without your substance feel unliveable, even scarier yet than what had made you use in the first place. there is nothing left to do but to hide from your own life, and the only ways to do this are to stop, to love yourself and take care of the person that you are now… or to keep taking more and more, using until there is truly nothing left, not even yourself.
#the substance#the substance 2024#addiction#also obviously there’s lots of other stuff going on#with the movie in general it had many themes and none of them were subtle but still#I couldn’t stop thinking about this until I got it down#until I could get somebody else to be like yes I see you too#please this is very dark. take care of yourself#if you are struggling with addiction I see you. I care about you. I understand#and I understand how impossible it is to get off because of how scary it is to be without it#you aren’t alone#substance use#tw#shut up riley
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my bougie dwarf LoF rook Tyarva and her sugar baby silly charming professor who she adores so very much <333
#dragon age#da:tv#dragon age veilguard#rook#emmrich volkarin#my art#spoilers in these tags sorry I need to ramble#HE!!!! UGH!! <3 I feel like emmy is the kind of romance candidate a lot of us always wished for but they were stuck in unromancable npc hel#him being so popular is extremely vindicating!!!!!! like yes gilf nation is only getting stronger#my only big gripe with his romance is everyone just assumes your Rook is a youngster#people with Rook's intentionally made to be in their 40's/50's with visible wrinkles/signs of aging being infantilized 🤝#anyway I'm happy to be drawing again... lets see how long that lasts :')#mayhaps some lich!emmrich stuff... I'm happy with the path I went with but let me tell you I MOURN what we could have had
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Really weird how many people will be like “oh hey me too” when non-labels are actually explained. Told my friend what it means to me to be genderqueer and unlabled and they immediately agreed with me, so did a collegue of ours. Strange how that is innit.
#what i’m saying is that sometimes yes labels can be bad#or unfitting. sometimes someone doesn’t need to search deeper they are okay with no specific microlable at all#comfort in labels is not inherent for some of us.#if i could use none i would use none but it feels like a lot of people demand it esp on the internet#so genderqueer and unlabled it is.#genderqueer#unlabled#unlabled sexuality#queer ppl stuff
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I'm listening to a lot of Maintenance Phase (bc I love it) and this comes up sometimes, so I'll just be sat here thinking about how common it is for little kids to grow up watching their moms and other women in their life jump from diet to diet. Just as ambient background noise in your childhood, the adults around you obsess over calories aloud, express guilt over eating enjoyable food, frame exercise as a form of punishment for eating, and so on.
#how crazy is that...#and no your mom or your aunt or sisters or whoever surely aren't thinking about this as modeling a type of behavior#but that's what happens#also particularly crazy for people I talk to where you're in the age group that also had The Biggest Loser airing on tv at the time LMAO#lots of stuff happening at once there huh. crazy#sergle.txt#also yes I am gendering this SPECIFICALLY not because EDs/weight stigma/eating disorders DON'T stretch across all genders#but because it WAS specifically almost always women doing this because the diet and weight loss industries specifically target women#and because we can all think of examples in our families or in those of our friends and ppl close to us#where one or all of the women will be taking part in this behavior and IN THE BACKGROUND. the men in the house usually aren't.#and that a lot of the time this isn't enforced on them either. or the mom will be cutting calories and the dad will be visibly making fun.#sometimes families with one or two people doing this diet shit will cause it to be The Whole House Goes On A Diet#but more often than not it's a splintered effort or just one person.
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Everyone loves to accuse Gale of mainsplaining when he's literally just infodumping. He's not sexist he's just neurodivergent!
#Bg3#gale dekarios#(I mean it's not entirely infodumping. He's interested about the subject but also he likes to show off how much he knows so that#He seems smart and useful because a core pillar of his identity is that he's Smart and he has a lot of complex issues about his worth.#But that's not as funny.)#(On a personal level I love lore (even though I know a decent amount of forgotten realms stuff) so whenever he starts rambling im like#Haha yes loredump!!!)
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assorted whiteboard slop from yestereve
#- 2’s transfers#fallout new vegas#yes man fnv#yes man#courier oc#fnv oc#yes man x courier#selfship#📟🔋#this is pretty much the only thing i’ve been able to draw lately. i don’t know why but#eh. it’s something! at least i’m creating more often :]#i think i’ve come down with a virus sadly. flu i think. which has been sapping a lot of energy that i could be using to make more polished-#-stuff. shrug. my thoughts are really disjointed right now please enjoy all’a this stuff
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The way Dungeon Meshi does gender makes me insane. It’s stated over and over that Falin and Laios really are more similar than anyone is looking for- Laios directly states as much at one point, Marcille mentions it when Falin wakes up the first time and starts bemoaning not eating any monsters, the magic mirror story even has fem!Toshiro crushing on Laios- but Laios is so protective of his little sister. Laios leaves home to start making a life he can one day share with her. And she leaves magic school because he has failed, and failed so hard that she’s worried that she might never see him again if she lets him leave without her. He wants to protect her from the way the world treats him, but he does not or does not want to understand the terrible truth- the world will never treat her as harshly as it does him, because she is a pretty ‘quirky’ girl and he is a big autistic man. Falin is happy, doing well in her own sphere, making a single friend (because she is still autistic, and has struggles of her own, even if they’re a different kind), but Laios still feels a need to protect her because his experience of this world has been nothing but cold shoulders and distrust all the way down. This story makes me want to sprint into the river. Laios and Falin are the best characters of all time.
Ouhhhhh I dont have time to reread dungeon meshi to give you good sources but based on my doodoo memory and vibes therein: I have to disagree that Falin was necessarily doing "well," and I especially disagree that the tragedy here is that Laios was doing something unnecessary by trying to make a place in the world for him and Falin.
Falin gets along seemingly ok in the world but it's because she's agreeable to a fault .
What's so interesting to me about the Touden siblings is the different ways they've learned to deal with being The Odd Man Out. Laios set out to try and forcefully carve out a PLACE for him and Falin in the world, where they could both openly and unabashedly be themselves.....Falin stayed behind, and learned how to hide the things that made her stick out too much, and how to appease people on the verge of rejecting her and Laios.
That can be functional, but it isn't good. It isn't happiness. It hurts in a million tiny ways every single day, to hide yourself out of fear of rejection like that.
At school, Falin must have spent a lot of time alone before she befriended Marcille, since Falin was familiar enough with the surrounding wilderness that she knew where that small Dungeon opening was. She sought out what happiness she could by following her unusual passions in more private ways, where no one would judge her for it. Falin didn't expect anyone NOT to judge her for her "weirdness" before she met Marcille, so Falin didn't even try to connect with anyone before Marcille at a level more personal than "classmate." That's not doing well. That's not living.
This kind of self-isolation is a coping mechanism for neurodivergence that functions for a while, but it eats away at you. Falin considered marrying Toshiro despite not loving him, essentially because it seemed like the normal thing to do and she didn't think she'd get another chance to be married at all. What if she had gone through with that, or something similar by the same reasoning? Laios lived in a state of being rejected over and over, which obviously hurts like hell. In contrast, Falin was willing to live a life she never wanted just to avoid total rejection. That can be incredibly painful too, in its own way.
Falin and Laios were BOTH tragically fighting doomed battles to find a place for themselves in the world during the time they were separated. Working together, supporting each other, they're able to do a lot more. Cries.
#asks#dunmeshi#dunmeshi discussion#FUCK AND I FORGOT YOU SAID THIS WAS ABOUT GENDER SO I DIDNT EVEN GET INTO THE FEMINIST LENS FUCK FUCK FUCK.#LAIOS THINKS IS ROUTE TO FREEDOM IS THE MILITARY BECAUSE OF THE GENDERED EXPECTATIONS PUT UPON HIM#FALIN THINKS THAT SHE WILL NEVER BE FREE AND MUST ADAPT TO HER ENVIRONMENT BC WOMEN HAVE LESS RIGHTS IN DUNMESH WORLD#BASICALLY. YES DUNMESH HAS A LOT OF COOL STUFF TO SAY ABOUT GENDER IN SOCIETY AND USES THE TOUDEN SIBLINGS TO SAY IT LOUDLY
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so i saw this old-ish post about an au centering around a villain lewis and a hero arthur,,, and i. may have gotten attached to it,, dkdndkdjs. so i decided to make some edits + doodles based on it!! i also really wanna make a lil oneshot about it as well,, but uh... whether or not i actually follow through on that, we'll see,, skdjsojdks.
edit: good news, gang,, i wrote the fic!!
#my art#mystery skulls animated#lewis pepper#msa lewis#arthur kingsmen#msa arthur#really happy with how their designs came out !!!#it was a bit of a struggle to make lewis not just look like how he is in canon but with a cape;;#but i think the patterns + sugar skull makeup help a lot!#imagining lewis has the power to just turn into a ghost form;; which he uses for villain stuff. think danny phantom#(<- has never watched danny phantom)#and arthur's just kinda like batman; makes his own gadgets and stuff! i imagine his metal arm also has some fun doodads in it#still debating on why exactly arthur is so beat up in the potential fic; so far i'm thinking maybeeee reverb?#or maybe just some unknown new villain guy#and yes i know there's additions in the post i linked where everyone agrees it was actually mystery#not even murder mystery just. mystery.#i am politely ignoring that. bc i don't like that.#mystery is just vivi's not-dog in my version of this au.#'vivi please don't try and break into a dangerous supervillain's lair to try and rescue some hero' he says to her#meanwhile vivi's already halfway there#being vivi's dog is a full-time job
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current fallen london fandom experience feels like im standing at the corner of a party holding a sippy cup going. i thought firmament has been pretty fun and intriguing so far
#it wasn't THAT hard to understand what was going on#obtuse and chaotic and full of weird backwards imagery? yes but honestly at this point it's a feature#pretty much the only chapter so far where i didnt have at least a vague mental outline of the ongoing plot is chapter 1#and honestly that's probably owed to the fact it hits you with lots of shit right off the bat that doesnt really. like#Become Clearer until i'd say just now when chapter 3 has released#but like. there's a clear plotted course from A to B here? LOTS of bewildering stuff sandwiched between it all#but the core plot has been pretty concrete. there's a weird fire dream. we're following it. fanfiction writers are fucking with us.#there's a divorced angel now.#not like it's any more or less batshit than usual FL lore offerings#yin-thoughts#fallen london#idk maybe im just delusional#fallen london spoilers#firmament spoilers
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refusing to be undone.
Atia Balba, niece to Julius Caesar, died only a year after his assassination, and was survived by her two children, Octavia the Younger and Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus, who she had named Gaius Octavius at birth. Both her son and daughter would outlive her by several years.
#historyedit#perioddramaedit#history#ancient history#roman history#ancient rome#octavia the younger#octavian#augustus#my edits#my stuff#yes i hate domina yes i will use gifs of it for my rome stuff#if only because there's no other option and tgc could have played an amazing augustus if he had a better script#and yes i am using olivia for octavia cuz she and tom look a lot alike#so they should play these aristocratic orphans someone give me money for it#anyway the fact that they spent far longer without their parents than with them will always be fascinating to me#especially octavian cuz caesar died just before atia#and he and caesar had a connection that octavia wasn't a part of#(also imagine being octavia man)#(your little brother becomes head of the family during a lot of familial turmoil and starts killing just so many people)#(how did she feel about that as his older sister? as the only immediate family he had? when he's also the only immediate family SHE had)
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On souls and love
#hinamatsuri au#WOO SOME LORE EXPLAINED#hopefylly it makes sense#if something isnt understandsble or u wanna know more!! askbox is open id love to talk abt it!!#this took. wayy too long. im sorry if its not as good. ik theres a lot of text in this one bc. lore stuff shhfh#YAY TOYA SHIZUKU AND MIZUKI#im so sorry mizuki fans i had to draw them with short hair for now... yes it was hard and painful to do... i hope they look goos still ffhhd#prsk#prsk fa#prsk art#prsk au#toya aoyagi#mizuki akiyama#shizuku hinomori#tenma siblings#saki tenma#tenma tsukasa#guest appearance of nene. also sakurako and asahi. and half of kigurumi-san. lmao#kerizart#theyre using -san for tsks since -senpai doesnt rly? make sense in this au? at least to me
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(x)
(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)
#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz#no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird#like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE#showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops#to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like#also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer#but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon#like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol#but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this#HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS#juliette lewis#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets
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I can't believe people give advice that's basically "be less stressed". How can I explain to you that I've been scared of walking down the stairs since I learned to walk and I get an intrusive thought every time I cross a road. And then I have a lot more, actually real and important stuff to be anxious about!!
#like 90% of my intrusive thoughts are about me being harmed instead of the other way around#which i guess can be better than the alternative cause i question my morality less and stuff#like i went through the harmful yo others intrusive thoughts most of my childhood and it's kind of switched at some point#but now i am. unimaginably stressed by. everything#like sometimes i feel like im actually going crazy because how many times can you#live out your own death or have thoughts of great harm being donw to you. its just an insane feeling#whatever i was just thinking about a talk i had with one doctor#who asked me if i have a lot of stress in my life and when i said yes#she said “well you should become less stressed”#thanks girlie#ok sorry for using this post to vent about my intrusive thoughts but they suck ass and i can#never talk to anyone about them#god if i ever said more than a sentence about them I would feel so crazy
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*shuffles onto the stage quietly*
*clears my throat*
Hello to the five OUaW fans out there in the tumblr void I come bearing art
*shuffles off of the stage and fucking trips on my gay little feet and dies*
#my Kremy plush I bought comes in like 50 days I’m so hyped#anyway ummm tags! yes!#once upon a witchlight#ouaw#ouaw fanart#kremy ouaw#kremy lecroux#gideon ouaw#gideon coal#coalecroux#digital art#my art#technically unfinished but icba to shade it n stuff.#also I drew their full bodies but it kinda looks bad but if you wanna see that lmk#ummm I’m down terribly for gideon (I am a simple little faggot. I see a big man and I fall madly in love)#this is my first time ever drawing anything remotely like Kremy lmao#I used to draw a lot of furry art butttt it was always cats and wolves I never ventured into scalies (?) before#idk if that’s how you spell it whatever#anyway I think I did okay#aaanyway enough of my rambling in the tags I hope you like my art fire emoji fire emoji#I love them both so bad
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