#yes i only just now got the book yes ive been reading through it all day

[screamingfrenchfries]

i gotta say i kinda love that the book of bill basically got d1sn3y's "stamp of disapproval" by slapping on that "travels to dimensions meant for older readers" label. real neat stuff in here

[wisteria-cherry]

Sirius and Regulus fighting over reader (or James if you ship that, not picky honestly) please.

love your work ❤️

omg tysm ily <33 ive never written regulus, i hope i do him justice!!

sirius x reader x regulus

oh, now sirius wished he could pull the age card. really, he wished there was any reason at all why regulus shouldn’t be able to like you. but there wasn’t; you were a year younger than sirius and a year older than regulus. sirius was normally quite good with reading people, but you were an abnormality; he had no idea which black brother you fancied more.

regulus, on the other hand, was content. as the more level-headed black brother, he knew that he could try, but, overall, you had the last say in which brother you chose. did regulus hope with all his heart that it would be him and not sirius? yes. would that affect his behavior towards you and sirius? of course not.

or would it?

“ditch reg, let’s go out.” sirius plopped down next to you in the library, where regulus sat next to you.

“i’m right here.” regulus looked up from his book.

“i can’t, sirius, i’ve got to study.” you reply apologetically. “regulus is tutoring me.”

“i’ll tutor you, then.” sirius decided, leaning over to catch a glance at your book.

“you’re hardly in class, how do you expect to be a tutor if you don’t know the content?” regulus frowned.

“i know it.” sirius replied, as though that answered the question.

“go away, sirius. you’re being distracting.” regulus’ frown deepened. regulus liked spending time with you; he didn’t like how sirius was being so intrusive.

“maybe a distraction was necessary, right, love?” sirius grinned his most charming grin, disregarding regulus in favor of you.

“i suppose i could use a break..” you begin, and sirius’ expression brightens. “…but not yet.” sirius sighs dramatically.

“c’mon, don’t you want to have some fun? lemme you out, love, i swear it’ll be the best date of your life.” sirius insisted. you only smile. truth be told, it was flattering to have both regulus and sirius pursuing you, but you felt somewhat guilty; you didn’t want to make a choice like this, not publicly, not when their relationship was so incredibly tense.

“you don’t have to go out to have a fun date.” regulus interrupted. “it can be something just like this, minus the bothersome interruptions by someone.” you look to regulus as he spoke. now that you thought about it, this could easily be considered a date— you and regulus, side by side, studying together. you did recall a few times where his hand went on yours in order to guide your hand to the proper spot on a page.

“are you saying this is a date? this isn’t a date, right?” sirius immediately turned back to you, having finished scowling at regulus.

“i…” you trail off. “i’m not sure. is it?” you look to regulus for support, whose gaze softens upon seeing your confusion. regulus notes that you seemed to be getting a little overwhelmed by the pressure of both boys insisting on your company at the same time.

“i considered it such.” regulus admits.

“dates are a two-way street, reggie, everyone knows that.” sirius rolls his eyes. “which is why i’m actually asking instead of assuming.”

“you act like you never assume things.”

“assume things like what?” sirius grinned.

“assuming that my study partner,” regulus answered, gesturing to you, “would rather go out than actually do something worth doing.”

“going out is worth doing.” sirius retorted. “in fact, it’s necessary if you don’t want to end up a total stick-in-the-mud.”

“forgive me for not skipping every class i’ve got.” regulus replied dryly, returning to the potions book, flipping through the pages to find the one he’d been looking for.

“don’t listen to him, dove, let’s go have fun.” sirius pulled up a chair in between you and regulus and sat down, tossing his arm around your shoulders. “take a break.”

“sirius.” regulus stood up, glaring coldly. sirius’ nonchalant expression changed into a sly smirk and narrowed eyes— gray, like regulus’, but warmer; sirius’ were a stormy sort of gray, and regulus’ had a cool undertone that made them look almost icy blue.

“hm? what’s wrong, reggie?” sirius asked innocently.

“sirius, would you leave? i’m quite done with you interrupting my—“ regulus stopped himself before he could call you his partner. romantic partner. a boy could dream, couldn’t he? “—my study partner. go find some other girl to get drunk with, or maybe smoke with, i don’t care, just— just leave.”

part of you wanted to intervene. you knew that there was a very real chance that things could turn ugly; sirius wasn’t afraid of a duel, and nor was regulus (although he was more quiet about his opinion). at the same time, however, you figured it’d be good for them to get this off their chests.

“your study buddy doesn’t belong to you, reg,” sirius replied casually, pulling you a bit closer via the arm he had around your shoulders. “you can share, i promise.”

“this isn’t a matter of— of ownership.” regulus’ nose scrunched as his expression contorted in disgust at the idea, the idea that you were something to be owned and kept. “it’s a matter of letting us have time alone without being interrupted by you.”

“oh yeah?” sirius finally stood up, his fingers brushing his wand pocket.

“yeah.” regulus pulled his wand out. okay, so it had taken a turn for the worse.

“boys.” you stood up finally, and both boys’ stances relaxed. regulus put his wand down on the table, seemingly just now realizing how ridiculous a duel in the library would’ve been. you frown.

“this is ridiculous. you can’t be arguing in the library, there are people trying to study.” you glance from regulus to sirius.

“like we were before sirius showed up.” regulus grumbled. admittedly, his sulking was something you were surprised to find very cute.

“yes, we were, and sirius had no right to interrupt that.” you give a pointed look towards sirius, who looked away, somewhat embarrassed you hadn’t taken his side (seemingly).

“so this is how it’s going to go: regulus and i will finish our study session,” you decide. “and then this evening, sirius, we can hang out. sound good?”

“sounds good,” the boys reluctantly agreed, still glaring quite fiercely at one another.

“i’m glad we could resolve this together.” you sigh, sitting back down, quite worn out from hearing the two bicker. “now, regulus, about that potion…”

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

[thenightling]

One pet peeve I have about the Interview with the vampire TV show is how obsessed with the vampire's sexuality the show runner and marketing people seem to be. The vampires were physically unable to have sex in the books. Some of you might go "But what about Pandora!" Read it again before trying to use that as proof. We're thoroughly told us they couldn't actually do anything. The Vampire Lestat had Lestat compare vampires to Osiris because of the organ Osiris lost. The idea of making love is part of what tempted Lestat in the novel Tale of the Body thief. The only reason Lestat was able to have a son in Prince Lestat was because he took part in an experiment that temporarily rendered him human via plot device IV drip. In the novels the vampires experienced intimacy through blood exchange but that's besides the point. Everyone who read the book knows that all of Anne Rice's vampires are bisexual (Pansexual as many would call it now) and have been from the start. And yet I feel almost insulted, pandered to where it's like that's all there is to the characters in the marketing for the show. Don't believe me? Check out the official Instagram or Facebook. It's like "Oh, and they're gay. Have we mentioned they're gay." "They're Queer! Did you know they're queer?! Look, they're queer!" And it's like... And? I miss how the books treated it as something nonchalant, natural, and even mundane. By the time you got to the novel Queen of the damned you viewed Armand and Daniel as nonchalantly as you'd view romantic depictions of Dracula with his Mina. (Yes, I know Dracula and Mina were not lovers in the novel but that's not the point.) When you keep having to point it out as an oddity you are "othering" and acting like it's something weird and should be treated as weird. The novels normalized the relationships so that you just accepted that everyone was pan. There's no homophobia, and no constant reminders of "Yes, they're queer!" Even Lestat's "single" that dropped last month had the line "Here come the gays." ...Why? (All the lyrics are terrible, by the way). I was hoping the show would be more like Lost Girl in that the assumption is everyone is potentially attracted to everyone and no one makes a big deal about it. But instead it's like a song lyric from Doctor Horrible. "Next up, 'Whose gay?'"

[givemea-dam-break]

hi my love, can you do anthony lockwood x reader

possibly with prompt 17 or 24 from the angst list?!? ive been craving some lockwood angst recently and i love your fics so who else could i ask to fulfill my needs

a/n: yes yes yes i have been dying for angst it’s my favourite thing to write. i'm so glad you like my fics! feeling honoured rn. this is shorter than some of my other fics, but i hope you like it!

warnings: angst, language prompts: "You're not my friend anymore, remember?" and "You left, you left, and now you have the gall to come back like nothing happened." gn reader

Your day couldn't have gone worse.

Originally, your plans for your first day off in weeks had been to spend your time in the library nearby, listening to the rain on the tall windows as you read in your favourite seat before stopping off to grab a takeaway on your way home.

Of course, things can never go to plan in a world haunted by ghosts.

To preface, the Visitors aren't the problem, not today at least.

You've reached a particularly good chapter of your book when things start to go wrong. You're completely content just reading away, sipping on some tea in your travel mug, when a shadow looms over the pages, making it hard to read.

Looking up, slightly irritated, you say, "Hey, do you mind moving, please?"

Then you see the face, and the irritation melts into something more: fury.

Anthony Lockwood stands before you, soaked with rain and dripping all over the floor. His hair, usually neatly brushed, looks like a wet rat, and his cheeks are flushed from the November chill. From the way he smiles, they remind you a little bit of apples. You like apples considerably more than you like him.

"What do you want?" you ask.

Lockwood points at the free chair next to you. "Can I sit?"

"Absolutely not."

"Right." He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his greatcoat. "Can we talk?"

"Also, no," you say, returning your attention to the book. "Goodbye."

A sigh. "(name), please, it's important."

"Important enough to bug me on my only day off? No, I don't think so."

You hope for a moment that he'll turn and walk away, but this is Anthony bloody Lockwood, and when does he ever listen to you? He moves, sinking into the seat beside you, and crossing his legs. You make a point of ignoring him, continuing to read the last paragraph you were on.

"We need your help."

No response. You keep on reading.

"(name), please. It's a big case, and we could really use your Talent."

Again, you ignore him, silently mouthing the words as you read them. Your focus on him strays, and for a minute it's as if he's no longer there, but the scent of bitter tea and citrusy shampoo lingers, taunting you.

Swiftly, you shut your book and stand, grabbing your bag. The action seems to shock Lockwood, and his daze gives you enough time to slip the book back into its slot on the shelves and storm out of the library.

Alas, Lockwood has long legs and catches up momentarily.

"I don't want to talk to you," you grumble, pulling your hood over your hair as you step out into the rain.

"I know, and that's my fault, but, please, listen this once. We -"

"Need my help. Yeah, I got that." Squeezing through a crowd of kids heading into the library, you continue, "But, thing is, I'm not an agent anymore. And, even if I was, you're not my friend anymore, remember? You gave up that right months ago. I wouldn't help you even if my life depended on it."

That stops him short. You keep on walking, arms crossed tightly over your chest.

"You're not an agent anymore?" he asks, catching up once more.

You scoff. "Haven't been since that last case we went on, and I don't plan on becoming one again."

Judging from his expression, he hasn't taken the news lightly. He almost looks betrayed, and that makes you want to strangle him. He's got no right.

"Why not?"

"Because," you say, stopping at the side of the pavement, out of the way of other people, "you left. You left me there, Lockwood. And now you have the gall to come back like nothing happened! You don't just do that."

His frowns. "I didn't leave you."

You want to scream at him, to pull your hair out. It feels like you're about to explode from the rage you're feeling.

"Yes, you left. I was left in that goddamn maze of a mansion by myself while you and George, what? Went to go have some celebratory doughnuts? Not all of the sources were secured, Lockwood. I almost died trying to get out of there."

"I didn't -" His face blanches, and he looks like he's going to be sick. "We thought we'd secured them all."

"Well, you didn't. Want to know why I didn't go back to Portland Row for a week before getting my stuff? I was in the hospital recovering from ghost touch. Took my a month to regain full use of my right arm, you know. I almost lost my arm, in fact. But you didn't ask, you just stood and watched as I packed my stuff."

That makes him angry. "What was I meant to do? There was no stopping you."

"I wanted you to try," you say, and your voice wavers. His expression softens. "If you'd tried, I might've stayed. I might've forgiven you. But you just watched. You never asked me where I was for that week. No, you were busy revelling in your success and hiring other agents."

"We needed another agent, anyways."

"You should've checked on the one you had!" Your breathing is heavy, and your head hurts from the myriad of emotions swirling around. "I'm not - I'm not doing this right now. Today was meant to be a good day. Goodbye, Lockwood. Don't come see me again."

You start to walk away, but his hand clasps around your wrist. Scowling, you tug it from his grip, looking at him incredulously.

"I'm sorry, (name)," he says. In his defence, he's being genuine, but that doesn't mean that you're having any of it. "I am. About all of it. Please, can we talk it out?"

Thank god for the rain, because it hides the tears in your eyes. "No. I - I'm going home, and you're going to leave me alone. I don't want to see you again."

Lockwood's jaw goes slack. "Please, I'm sorry. I can't lose you."

"The minute you left me alone on that case, you lost me," you say. "I don't care how sorry you are. It does nothing. It doesn't stop me from seeing the moment I almost died every night when I sleep. It doesn't change the fact that I don't trust you anymore."

"(name) -"

"I pray that your new agent, Lucy, 'the Superstar' - that's what you called her on live TV, right? - I pray she doesn't have the same fate. I hope things work out well for you, Lockwood, truly, but that doesn't mean we'll ever be friends again. Now, I'm going home."

"Please don't go." His voice is a little shaky. It's the most emotion you've seen from him other than that fake smile he gives to the press. "Please, I'll do better."

You shake your head. Then, wordlessly, you turn and make your silent, miserable trek home.

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.

[beast-towers]

Final of Clashing Worlds.

From the last post and now we are on part two and final of my comic. Thank you all for the read!

Previous Part of Clashing Worlds

Warning: Some Blood and brighter colors will be shown, I do apologize about that.

Wish to continue? Alrighty then!

Hunter’s Report:

Time: 8:36 AM

Region: England

Area of Sighting: Alton Towers

As I explained before in the beginning of my last report of Uri’s sighting, Uri and her fellow Guardians felt an uneasy sensation in the air, and she has found one of the pieces. It was hard to believe that whatever this was, it has placed a Twisted “Blessing” onto Otsana Risa, Guardian Beast of The Smiler. Uri had done everything in her power to at least weaken Otsana and bring her to be purified… I’m afraid that was proven to be a difficult task.

As I and Alton discuss this situation, we’ve heard an explosion created by Uri. With no hesitation, I ran to the location, as a grandmother, I do worry for my grandchildren… but with this Darkness looming over the land, I didn’t want it to take another victim.

I thankfully reached my granddaughter in time before whatever was watching can make a move… I know it’s not Melanthios… the very demon I defeated so long ago. This is different, but not in the same threat level as him… well, it’s close enough unfortunately. Which it is concerning enough for Alton and the beasts. Whatever or whoever this was, he fears it still has enough power to do the very same to the other beasts… just like the poor Werewolf.

I have sent a band of hunters to track down Otsana’s blood trail and her whereabouts… This was my mistake. This darkness didn’t leave, and since it didn’t get their claws on my granddaughter’s soul, I’m afraid it grabbed them instead… UNFORGIVABLE. I and my family went out to search for them… nothing. Except claw marks and a scent of Otsana’s blood, and… unknown smell of someone and a horrible chemical smell. I’m not sure it was this dark energy or her…. My only prayer now is that the hunters are alive and fighting to escape…

Unfortunately, I will need further proof and an identification to launch a full hunt, capture, and rescue. I will be sending close Allies, my fellow Huntress, and my Grandson: Sycorax, Edric, Calypso, and Zyran to aid Alton with the beasts’ worries, while in the hopes to capture Otsana… if my and my dear friend’s Sight is correct and played right, perhaps one of them can help Otsana see through this polluted darkness, and return her to the light.

End of Report.

-Wolf Van Helsing, Lady of the Abyss Watchers.

—————————————————————

Thank you all so much for reading! This has been very interesting experience for me, and I hope I’ll get better at it in time ^^;

So! What really inspired me to make this? Once a fucking again, Darbi. Mostly Season 3 Ep. 42 Clensing (IV) or #117. (If wrong let me know so I can edit this) I HIGHLY recommend reading it! While it was on hiatus, I decided to read Season 3 and I forgot all about that scene of Dolla fighting Darbi, and it didn’t leave my mind until I finally caved in and created this! Was it fun? Yes. HOWEVER; my only mistake here is this: I should of planned it better. This all came into mind and that alone, so hopefully next time if I ever thought of this again, I’m grabbing my Note Book to write for ideas….

And lastly! And I’m still gonna thank you for this again! @twistedtowers for the incredible redesigning of Otsana! (And I’m sorry she didn’t get a W ;w; but the two got a tie… I know, still not a W ;-;) I wanted to experiment and have of the idea of “Otsana wants and has to prove she can Control the park, but there are those who would step up and forbid her from doing that.” A.K.A, Uri and perhaps now some future characters.

Okay, off to what was going on with the two having glowing lines! Welp, that’s not only a self regeneration, but also a way to charge up their attacks. Example: Otsana’s Flash attack. (Welp, looks like it’s been powered up now… thanks Regan.) with enough energy she can unleash it to an whole group, but pretty sure after this scuffle… she may want some training 😬 but she felt a bit proud for forcing Uri back into human form while stunning her.

As for Uri, why did her eyes changed? Welp, if pushed WAAAY in her limit, a deep Primal Instinct will be awakened. Her grandmother calls it: Primal Spirit. Basically it boosts up the power of the individual, and they are easily set off into a rage. But don’t be fooled, just because the person is mega angry, doesn’t mean they’re fully blinded, this will make them more focused and unleash their rage on the weak spot. Downside however, it will drain the person HEAVILY, causing them to be knocked out for awhile as seen from Uri.

Finally, Wolf Van Helsing herself. What or who is she? Well, for short. She is Uri’s Grandmother, and a Shiftwalker woman who survived a horrific war and carnage from a demon named, Melanthios, The Dark Flower who Blooms in One’s Heart. And that massive star like shape on her chest…. That’s a scar. Girl took in a deadly hit just to seal Melas away for 150 years. While dying, her allies and deceased old friend separated Melas’s life energy, and transferred it to her. Reborn as a being of Light, Creation, and Life. And to make things complicated for Melanthios, she transferred the same Energy to her children, and they passed it on to their children… like Uri. Explains why her transformation looks like a piece of an orange nebula. (Look man, I love space.)

Extras: Who are Sycorax, Edric, Zyran, and Calypso?? Two out of the four are my old ocs that I decided to bring back for fun! That being: Sycorax a battle scarred man and user of Alchemy Magic and a wolf side that might surprise Otsana, and Edric the adopted son of an Ice Queen (she belongs to a close bro of mine) and a man with a secret identity (Hint: he is NOT human.) he also uses Ice and Space magic as well for combat, but it’s the Black Ice that should be concerning IF pushed to his limits.

Zyran is Uri’s big brother (like 4 years older) and pretty sure after this incident… yeah home boi will unleash his thunder. As for Calypso, a fierce huntress well known in the Hunters World, but what role is she gonna play here? ;3

[tonydaddingham]

Fair enough! There's certainly no definite evidence, you can totally read it differently, but I don't think the trauma interpretation, unless you're trying to, wrongly, claim Hard Canon Facts, is this massive, wildly-out-there-impossible stretch either. There's a basis to build a case for it from, it's just that all the evidence is circumstantial and relies on interpreting inner thoughts, so you could build a completely different case from it too. Guess for me, personally, it's like when you look at the angel version of Crowley versus what he's like today, he's Been Through Things and I don't think all of that was only secondhandedly witnessed - doubt he's escaped entirely unscathed from who-knows-how-many thousand years under first one and then another dictatorial state - and of that which was firsthand, I personally don't think that was all only Hell (and whatever Hell does to him, another thing that, to be fair, is mostly implied and read into the between-the-lines, not outright stated or shown, is technically traceable to Heaven for casting him out in the first place) but hey, that's just my interpretation. What we can, I think, sort-of-conclude is that the Fall was in all likelihood painful i.e. physically traumatic (I def trust the pub scene over anything told to Aziraphale) and probably intended at least partially as punishment, seeing it's the undesirable alternative to being a good obedient angel used to keep the angels in line. Book Crowley took the maintenance lift or the back stairs, whereas TV Crowley's being, imo, taken in a more dark, dramatic direction, but I could be totally wrong, because what we've got in the show so far could go either way. However it turns out, it's wrapped in six millenia of hurt and rage and there's waaaaaay more to it then we know so far, so in essence, yes, seconded, we need a Fall scene in the 3rd season.

i definitely don't think it's a stretch, not at all!!! i definitely do not think that crowley emerged unscathed from the whole debacle, whatever happened between the pre-fall scene and eden, but because we don't know exactly what happened, im currently reading it that he's as i described - bitter, angry, upset, resentful - rather than there being any underlying form of trauma. i do also think that the flood, or some point between then and uz, is a triggering point; there's a big difference in crowley's approach to god between these two events:

crowley comes across as very innocent and trusting on the wall and in mesopotamia; the sheer act of the flood, and what aziraphale tells him about the motivation behind it, comes as a shock to crowley - now sure, to me, this could say many things, but for me the biggest among them is that he can't believe that after the fall, god would basically pull the same stunt again, and 500-odd years later in uz, he's fully unsurprised by what he considers to be an atrocious act that he's working independently to subvert and resolve (and notable that we see in uz the first in what appears to possibly be becoming a habit - what appears to be displacement onto the goats. whilst it's certainly a defence mechanism, i don't personally consider it to always be a trauma response... but look im not a psychologist).

again, that's not to say that he can't be experiencing trauma alongside this, not at all, but in line to what ive personally come to expect as a result of trauma, i would have personally expected some degree of... resignation? at the flood - 'yeah of course god would do that, why wouldn't she, she's done it before' etc. so again, whilst i don't dismiss the possibility that crowley is traumatised from the fall, it's currently just not quite ringing 100% true to me, not without (imo) the crucial information to give context to why he acts/speaks/behaves as he does. so at the moment, i feel like a good portion of his behaviour stems from realising that god is repeating history, not necessarily the first instance of it (hope that makes sense). and this, i think, feeds into his direct beseechment to god in his flat - again, that god is doing the same thing over and over again, and hasn't learnt.

i definitely take your point re: what the angel who crowley was (AWCW) was like before the fall, and the stark contrast between that and crowley as we know him now. but there is a lot in between those points; not only the fall itself, but the events leading up to it. all we currently know that is he asked questions, and that he hung out/was somewhat in cahoots with lucifer and his gang - i don't think that necessarily occurred in a short space of time after the pre-fall scene; if anything, i do wonder if crowley's fall (especially if we take the revelation about his wings darkening slightly in the pre-fall scene) was a long, drawn-out, and steady process... again, that doesn't mean he can't have been traumatised from it, but there is a heap of context that we're missing that i think will reveal what crowley's state of mind would have been in, in the lead-up to, during, and directly after, the fall.

im personally undecided about how truthful crowley was in the pub scene; i don't think it's inconceivable that, alongside skewing the details of his fall to aziraphale, crowley is capable of fudging the truth somewhat to himself. that's not to say that he deserved to fall, because i don't think that's going to outright be the case, but i do think that it's a possibility that he did something that he has refused to come to terms with or acknowledge, and has told himself half-truths over and over until he potentially believes that to be the truth.

crowley may not outright lie, but he's very good at speaking in riddles, withholding information (sometimes even subconsciously), and dancing around begrudgingly-admitted truths to make himself come across as, frankly, more impressive than he already is. to my mind, AWCW does it in the pre-fall scene, even, so we know it's not strictly crowley-as-a-demon thing:

and to me, this comes across in the pub scene too; i don't think crowley believes, in his bladdered state, that he's actually talking to anyone, but he's speaking as if he is, and as such what he divulges is once again danced around and played down. the bit where i think it does become truth is the account of the physical act of falling; that i can believe, because it's the face he pulls, and the way he twists the talisker bottle, that make me think he's actually being truthful here... everything else before it feels like he's playing to an audience (and he doesn't know it, but obviously he is - us!), and that makes me take it with a pinch of salt.

so yeah, totally with you that the physical fall itself probably wrecked some damage (i don't talk much about book!omens - i hold it close to my heart but i see it very separately from tv!omens, i have to admit - but i do think there was some element of playing-it-off in the description of his 'sauntering vaguely downwards', no different to how he tells it to aziraphale in 1862), but i still don't know how much i see it as having traumatised crowley.

to my mind (so, for clarification, this is entirely based on my experience of trauma, and may not be the case for everyone!), trauma takes away a good deal of agency, and i guess idk how much i see crowley without agency in this respect? i completely agree that the fall may have painful, upsetting, and rage-inducing, without a doubt, but does it stem from trauma? that for me is not yet clear!✨

[icyberrydoesthat]

reasons why i think my parents pissed off a fairy before i was born (why i think im cursed)

cursed pieces of media always seem to find me

im not exaggerating when i say ive seen more than my fair share of fucked up stuff. it always seems to land on my cellular device or my piece of paper. ill be simply enjoying a show or consuming a book as one does and the most heinous thing will happen and ill be expected to just carry on. and now i do just that, i keep calm and carry on. more specifically theres one topic that seems to pop up a lot (tw!!) incest.....now now you may be thinking "what!? incest....id drop whatever it was and go reconnect with nature...weirdo" now now lets not jump to conclusions, 9/10 that movie/book/manga/whatever is actually really good (the other 1/10 lands you in therapy) and the incest or whatever never progresses the plot at all, but is a big enough plotwist to give me whiplash. and dont you worry, ive got an example. last year, i needed a book so i went to my schools library with a friend. about 10 mins of searching resulted in no book i felt inclined to read....until my friend gasps, a book in her hands..."Shadowhunters"?? i had never heard of it but apparently it was a big part of her childhood, something that soothed the gaping hole Twilight left...okay ill read i said. reading the first few chapters was great, i could practically smell an enemies to lovers and the big mystery of who and where mc's brother is was lingering in the back, my type of book i thought happily. little did i know....mc and ml were infact revealed to be siblings......i dropped my book. i had already thought it was weird that ml's adoptive brother had a crush on him but that gets crushed quick and now this...? now you may be thinking isnt it illegal or sum to promote incest..? and yes u are right, so you can imagine my deep sense of relief i felt when mc and ml were infact not related... because i didnt know how much more i could take of the ml yearning for his literal sister..(he was relentless...). but it doesnt stop there, for all you sickos out there, the author still managed to weasel some incest in. when the ml and mc are still believed to be siblings by them and everyone, another ml enters, this boy is perfect, maybe even a better fit for mc, girl is feeling it too. turns out this second guy is none other than.....her brother !! shocked you didnt it...(hes completely sick and knows the entire time....he wants his sister). but dont worry guys other than that, Shadowhunters is really good, character development? chefs kiss. i luv isabelle.

all my pens perish

im not exaggerating when i say i probably go through 6 pens a week, either they explode in my school blazer, completely new pens dry out in my pencil case, snap or most common cause, i lose them. i try pencil and the lead snaps in the middle so now matter how much i sharpen it, it will never be useful again. this is a cry for help, any stationary reccs??

i lose everything all the time

would you believe me if i said ive lost my keys a total of 5 times this year? well dont. because ive lost them 7 times and only 3 of the times have they been returned. im a regular at the keymaker.... how many of you can you say that??? i hope none, i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i think this 'losing stuff' thing ties in rather nicely into my fish memory too, im pretty convinced ive got a rare amnesia that hasnt been discovered yet. its almost impossible, scratch that, it is impossible for me to remember everything for school the next day, ill always forget at least one thing. my friends will try referencing a supposedly funny/memorable thing that happened and ill just stare. theyll stare back and then do everything in their power to try to make me remember...nothing works.

my friends always have the same crushes as me

you may be thinking, well thats kind of normal for a group of girls that hang around eachother to have the same taste in people and i i thought so too, until it was such a regular thing i just stopped telling them about my crushes. i do have a story, start scene-its the end of a history lesson and im really happy, its been good lesson and i love history. im abit tired because its P5, the end of the day, for that reason, im lagging just a little, i leave my book usually at school because ive got two and my bag doesnt need any added weight . as im packing, a boy, a desk away from mine, walks over and takes my book to the cabinet, some thing he really did not need to do. and i don't know why but i guess im attracted to people being nice, even if it was just a decent human being doing just decent things... the next day, i realise i do want this boy, sadly. i had noticed him before, hes the kind of pretty that doesnt need to exist in a boy but if it does, he unfortunately becomes an object of envy. long lashes, blonde hair, droopy kinda eyes that make him look sleepy all the time. we had just never talked, seeing as we never had reason to. the next day, in a maths lesson, my friend says, "hey don't you think so and so is cute..." as shocked as i was, partly because this friend had been gushing about a different boy an hour ago and partly because it had happened again, i think i played the "really? maybe if i squint really hard he's meh" role really well....long story short, they're dating now....

now youve read my reasoning, there are more...but i just cant remember, i just know you see what i mean. my parents deffo pissed off some magical being and in return it cursed their firstborn daughter.

xoxo

A

ps: this is actually my second time re writing this because i accidentally deleted but the world just needed to know...ty for reading to the end <3

[everydaydg]

That wierd time manga was on the 3DS eshop

Available only in Japan and France

Dokopon Choice

While looking for MH Stories on hshop (not gonna sugarcoat it, that was what I was doing)

I ran into something that caught my eye... a strange name Ive heard of every MH game on the platform so something was off when I saw a name I didnt recognize.

MH Flash... huh?

It coudnt be a game considering it was literarly 75MB and there were like 7 different volumes

looked it up and realised that was a manga... I thought it was going to be some sort of tie in bonus, like a series of 3D videos, because I never heard of anything like the 3DS having actual manga publications but...

No that wasnt the case actually, it was just a whole issue of Monster Hunter Flash

The menu did leave me asking some questions. it didnt look like something capcom themselves made, instead a platform that was made by a third party which lead to the question

"are there more of these?"

yes. there were.

And so I present to you one of the neatest things ive ever ran into while looking into the 3DS's catalogue

The French and Japanese eshop's selection of digital manga!

"どこぽんちょいす" - "Dokopon Choice”

Sadly its french equivalent had no such name holding everything together

No this is not homebrew, no this isnt a joke. This happened.

Where do I begin...

The 3DS has a neat history with ebooks

There were two services that provided ebooks on the system, these being: HONTO for 3DS and Dokodemo Honya-San. both exclusive to japan.

Honto had a more general ebook line up. no manga

Honya-San was kinda like that but you also had a whole lot of manga baby

So where does Dokopon Choises fit into this?

Well Dokopon Choise was the name for standalone releases of things found on Honya-San

Imagine it this way, in Honya-san, releases are treated like DLC

Through Dokopon its treated as its own app.

Purchases of Dokopon apps and Honya-San books are treated as separate so you could end up buying the same thing twice (its actually aknowledged on every dokopon release on the eshop, be careful that you dont buy the same thing twice by accident)

Both were managed by Librika, a digital book distribution company

That leads the question as to why I didnt make this post about Dokodemo Honya in general as that service has alot of things to talk about

Well Honya-San didnt make it out of japan... The only one that got out of japan was Dokopon Choise which is why I want to focus on it.

its an incredibly neat oddity for the system

Some day Ill have to do more propper research on HONTO for 3DS but for now lets focus on the french manga

So Japan makes sense but... France? why france of all places

Well from what ive read, apparently out of most countries in Europe. France had the largest audience for manga, which made something like this profitable.

Even then because of the small selection that made it over, it mostly feels like a small experiment more than anything

The french eshop had the following series:

Nisekoi

Professor Layton

Little Battlers Experience

Rock Lee (Manga spinoff)

Blue Exorcist

Monster Hunter Flash

Inazuma Eleven

Beyblade Metal Fusion

Beyblade Shogun Steel

List of series originally found on GBAtemp by user "Asia81"

I did go ahead and verify this list and indeed. this was everything that came out of this in france.

All of these with various amounts of volumes released. I believe the series with the most volumes on the service was that of beyblade metal fusion at a whopping 11 Volumes

What an odd bunch. France never got Dokodemo Honya san in any shape or form. only these series.

I wonder if the experiement worked out in any way.

Something I find wierd is that some of the ones here never got a Dokopon release in Japan. They most likely were stuck on Honya San

I sadly dont have any pricing information on these, there is alot I havent been able to find about the french releases... I hope some day more about these comes to light

So what about Japan? well to start, the selection was waaayy bigger

98 volumes of multiple series made it into the eshop. Thats quite a substancial increase.

(The following list is comprised (mostly) by the localised names of the series for the sake of making it easier to read. Romaji will be provided for some so they are easier to look up

and so you can see a few familiar names -w-

its also organized in order of release on the service)

The JP selection was:

Attack on Titan

Love's Reach

Magi

Detective Conan

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Screaming Lessons

DRAGON BALL (colored version)

Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha ViVid

Monster Hunter Flash

FAIRY TAIL

Yozakura Quartet

Chihayafuru

HUNTERxHUNTER (colored version)

Sweet Devil Laugh - 甘い悪魔が笑う

Today, Our Love Begins (Kyō, Koi o Hajimemasu)

Grandpa Danger

Kuroko's Basketball

Kitchen Princess

Hiyokoi

My Little Monster (Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun)

Hell Girl

Hell Girl R

Thermae Romae

Stardust Wink

MONSTER HUNTER EPIC

Ro-Kyu-Bu!

Lotte's Toy!

Spice and Wolf

Ayakashi Hiougi - あやかし緋扇

The World God Only Knows

Monster Hunter Orage

1st grade, 5th group, Ikimono-gakari - 1年5組いきも���がかり

Kings of My Love - Oresama Kingdom

Hozuki's Coolheadedness - Hōzuki no Reitetsu

Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple - Shijō Saikyō no Deshi Kenichi

Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches

BLACK BIRD

Space Brothers - Uchū Kyōdai

We Were There - Bokura ga Ita

Tonari No Atashi - 隣のあたし

Shugo Chara!

Kids on the Slope

Inazuma Eleven

Lucky☆Star

Super Mario-kun

Blood Lad

Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya

Sgt. Frog

Gakuen Basara

Nobunaga Concerto

Mushishi

Monster Hunter Play Manga

To Love-Ru (color version)

Prince & Hero - Ouji to Hero

Jimikoi

2.5D Boyfriend - 2.5 Jigen Kareshi

iShoujo - i・ショウジョ (color version)

I”s

Aoha Ride - Ao Haru Ride

Ane Doki

Ichigo 100% (color version)

Tokyo Ghoul Remastered Edition

Hatsukoi Limited.

Nisekoi

MY GOD thats alot more stuff than the french eshop

Something I would like to note is that these were sold as multi packs on the eshop. Tonari no Atashi has a Vol.1-10 pack which retailed at ¥4,400

The prices for the packs with multiple volumes are all over the place but they tend to float arround ¥1,800 to ¥5,125

Price depends on the amount of volumes offered and the series.

Jimikoi and 2.5D boyfriend were the cheapest of the entire lot at ¥400 and ¥880 respectively

And the most expensive release was in fact Tokyo Ghoul Remastered at a whopping ¥7,000 for Volume 1-14

Source

The list here did not include prices because most of these had multiple... multi packs like dragon ball.

Dragon Ball had like 1 pack for every arc and that would have been a pain to keep up with. maybe some other time I will go ahead and organize that info.

Something I found interesting is how the file size for the JP manga are considerably bigger than that of the french releases, most likely due to the french releases not being in multi packs.

The French releases were 75 MB a pop. No multi packs to my knowledge.

While the japanese releases often go over 200 MB. Most likely due to having most of the volumes in one singular download.

Keep in mind that the list here is only for what was on Dokopon Choise. Dokodemo Honya-San had even more things... but sadly due to the nature of it being a digital platform and its downloadable content not being shown on the eshop... I cant find more info on what was on the service...

Most I have is tweets of people talking about the service.

I found a tweet that showed how JOJO was on the service, ive seen tweets mentioning people reading nichijou on the service too

Photo by Twitter user: TOUTO_jojoDR

Original Tweet

I also sadly I cannot check on the application itself due the service shutting down and no clear archive of this stuff being out there. some day ill find a way to look more into this

Dokopon Choise got new releases from 2013 all the way to 2016.

Last release being Nisekoi in Japan.

I sadly dont have data on when they released for french audiences, I just have data on the JP releases.

All of the releases under Dokopon Choises were removed from the eshop in January 31, 2019

Source

and subsequently, Dokodemo Honya-San got removed in 2020

Users could buy manga up to February 28, 2020

And they could redownload their stuff up to July 30, 2020

Source

Luckily for anyone who purchased content on the 3DS, they had a chance to move their 3DS library to their web library.

Honya San wasnt only on 3DS, same as HONTO, it had a web client under the name Dokodemo Bookstore

To my knowledge it seems like users who still have the app, on their 3DS, with downloaded books can enjoy them just fine.

And despite Librika merging with MEDIA DO in 2019, it seems like Librika still operates their digital bookstore to this day on mobile platforms.

What an odd piece of nintendo history isnt it.

I thought I was going to make a short post for once but no I ended up having to do a bunch of research for this. Because if I didnt... who was going to talk about the damm book services on 3DS.

I think making the list of manga on the service was the worst part.

But yeah! I recommend giving these a shot! even if you dont understand japanese, its still really cool being able to show off manga on your 3DS outside of the homebrew manga reader.

Ima leave this off with two silly tweets about boobs being uncensored on the release of Dragon Ball on the platform lmao.

"What the Hell! The 3DS is increasingly becoming a wonderful piece of hardware that creates special fetishes in children!!"

That is going to live in my head rent free for a month LMAO

[artisticbunny]

o.O look I know it’s only been like a week but I’m like, deeply infatuated with a whole new concept that has nothing to do with anything I had previously indulged in. It has nothing to do with fnaf, or utdr, or anime, or even any of my favorite book series

(BUT A COMPLETELY ORIGINAL CONCEPT BY YOU BUN THIS IS CRAZY LIKE HOW WELL OILED IS YOUR BRAIN? WHAT AM I MISSING?)

And today— I come bearing questions for the creator of this ‘new concept’— a true genius from none other than the nefarious hellsite;

Tumblr.

Yep. That’s right. And now, I ask this:

(Hey Bun, don’t mind me I’m just roleplaying myself in your inbox over a silly question. I just wrote an opinionated report for my ELA teacher, so maybe I’m not out of writer mode lol. Anyways, can we know more about Brook? Like y’know, ‘Brook Child’. If that’s treading too close to spoiler territory, then alternatively, can we know about Sam the wizard? He was mentioned earlier and I like wizards and warlocks because magic is such a popular concept based off of something which nobody really knows. Plus it’s something I’m sure everyone ever has fantasized about, even if many believe it doesn’t exist… not nerd ver: magic is cool can we hear about Sam?)

:3 Yep. That’s it. Hope this wasn’t too long or crazy lol. I really do enjoy the course of this and how it’s going. Sounds really cool. Also, I LOVE the artwork that goes along with it. (Plus I saw your Cryptid design and it IS quite friend shaped if I do say so myself lol) You draw very nicely, I like that it’s awesome.

HHHHHH GRABS YOU AND STARTS SHAKING YOU AROUND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME AAAAA

PLEASE ALL THESE COMPLIMENTS ARE GONNA GO TO MY HEAD (///////) IVE BEEN READING YOUR TAGS IN THE REBLOGS TOO DONT THINK I HAVENT!!!! YOU GOT ME SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT!!!!

And so,,, Ask and ye shall receive my beloved moot!!!

Brook’s backstory is one that is completely lost to her. Her “mother” never really told her much other than “I found you and took you in, so now you owe me.” At the moment I don’t really think it’s important to the story, and I don’t think it will ever come up so I’ll spill the tea for you ;3

Brook actually was born into a very loving family. She had parents who adored her and each other, and they lived in a fairly peaceful town. This… didn’t really last. Brook’s family went out one day, planning to go a few towns over to see relatives, and instead of settling down for the night, decided to travel through till the morning. Under the shade of night, they were jumped by bandits. During the scuffle, their horse got spooked, and whisked away the cart, with Brook still inside. The horse ran off-trail into the woods, the cart catching on fallen trees and rocks. The horse’s restraints attaching it to the cart were damaged so much by all the debris that when the cart got caught in the bank of a rocky stream, the horse broke free, and the cart remained. Brook’s “Mother” found her and took her in with the thought that she could help with chores when she was older.

Brook stayed 16 long years with her “Mother” (making her ~17 now), and got the idea to escape about a year and a half prior to the events of the story :)

Under her “mother”’s “care”, it wasn’t uncommon for Brook to have food taken away from her if she acted up or made mistakes, it also wasn’t uncommon for her to be locked in the basement with only thin slits of windows to let in light. The basement is also where she slept, not having a room of her own.

Because of these conditions, she is pretty sickly. She is VERY thin and malnourished, and is also pretty short as a result (she’s almost EXACTLY 5 feet tall, maybe a little shorter if you flatten her hair). Her hair is matted and tangled, and her clothes are old, thin, and covered in various stains and grime. She has lots of scars all over her body but by far the most noticeable is the one straight down over half of her face.

She has anxiety and is baby and I love her :)

She’s tired, and needs a break, but she’s not really gonna get one for a while, sorry hon!

Now, you get Sam too because he is VERY cool and silly and I love him.

Sam is a half elf!!! Idk that I mentioned this before!!! He’s kinda just a silly goofy dude who gets stage fright unless it’s his silly werewolf boyfriend. They LOVE each other your honor!!!

Unfortunately god gives his hardest tests to his silliest clowns.

Yeah he goes through the wringer throughout the story. I can’t say much of that because yay plotpoint!!! But yeah djxndhdh

So basically Sam was born in a nice town, pretty average sized, with parents that wanted the best for him. When they saw that he had innate magical abilities (ie: a higher magic storage ability and they saw him just messing around with it and having fun as a kid), they thought that setting him up for apprenticeships would set him up for a good life. What they DIDNT consider is that Sam didn’t really want that. Yeah, when he first started he thought magic was REALLY cool!!! And fun!!! But… all the studying and reading and practicing form and BLAH BLAH BLAH- it made it almost unbearable. Honestly now that I’m thinking about it I probably infused some of my adhd into him without realizing- whoops! Sitting for hours and hours on end just studying instead of actually doing the cool stuff? No thanks that sounds like actual torture! Lol

But yeah, he would end up going through like 5 apprenticeships before he and Joe end up running off into the woods together to find Joe’s tether or some other alternative that hasn’t been discovered yet. They spent a while just kinda camping in the woods with not really much luck before Brook comes along. They’ve been out on their own for about 3 or 4 years at that point, but they haven’t really been counting.

Sorry Sam probably isn’t as interesting as the others, not too bad of a tragic backstory competitively lol. Gotta have SOME less messed up characters! Trust me tho, he gets some good character time in the story I promise!

Here’s what he looks like:

He has a lot of scruff lol, and I love that for him <3

[kxmikomrade]

oh ho ho

why hello there

I just read through a bunch of the stuff you have about yourself, and now you have to deal with me <3

so first of all: i saw that you really liked blue period, and I was wondering how you'd recommend it? I keep on wanting to watch it but my mind goes "but you have this thing" and "what about the other three animes you're watching" but who cares! It looks really pretty tho. Also me and my partner are going to watch Bungo Stray Dogs together (eventually-) bc it's his favorite anime lol.

ok next point: WATERMELON IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS I LOVE WATERMELON. MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM IS THE BEST. and i agree, winter and autumn are the best seasons. rain. rain is nice :).

third and i think final thing: you're learning japanese, you say? ok, i have a few questions for you. what are you learning it on? (i'm learning it on the demon bird app, aka duolingo). what words have you learned? what do you know about the grammar/word structure? and the scary one: have you started learning the terror that is katakana? (if no, it's just another alphabet with the same order and sounds, except different characters. i hate katakana :,>) because i can't type in japanese on my chromebook, i'll just use the romanji. But expect me to send you random hiragana and have you say what it is!

Kimu-san, yahho! Anata ga kakkoii to karai desu yo! (i promise you it's a compliment <3)

try to tell me what that means, and expect more random japanese in your future :)

anyways have a lovely day byeee <3

when i saw the 'oh ho ho' i heard french venti LMAOOO 💀💀

omg new moot guys NEW MOOT !! u match my vibe so <3

BLUE PERIOD IS SO SHHEHEHEHHE esp if ur an artist like myself, it gives u a different and probably more professional view of art ^^ For wat i like abt it, i'd say da characters and how theyre written. The main character is pretty relatable. Theres another character who has family issues and may be trans (or genderfluid? it isnt confirmed but she was born male, currently dresses feminine and hates it when people uses her dead name). Another one who was born a 'Genius' but doesnt really understand art, hes only doing it bcs its basically wat he can only do. Another character who'm gets compared to her older sister and so on. Even minor characters have well written stories I suggest u watch da anime THEN read da manga from da beginning :>> Sanaol may partner- jkjk ur prob fil but imagien having a partner 😭 my lonely ass could never U SHOULDD WATCH BSD!! I LOVEEE DA ENDINGS ITS SUCH A VIBE AND DA OPS R BANGERS UGH THE CHARACTER DESIGNS AND PLOT I WANNA 👊 ITS INTERESTING BUT I SUGGEST ALSO READING THE MANGA FROM THE BEGINNING SINCE THE ANIME SKIPS ALOT OF THINGS AND IT MIGHT GET U CONFUSED 😭😭 Also, hes so true for that, hes DEF a keeper 💪 unless hes a mori/fukuchi stan then ew no

YESSS WATERMELON AND MINT CHOCO CHIP ICECREAM LOVERSS <333 Honestly, cold weathers >>>>>>

Im currently just memorizing da basics; hiragana and katakana before i continue off where i left off in grammar and vocab (i'll most likely start over since its been arounf half a year and i have goldfish memory 🥲) Ive already memorized hiragana, now im going with katakana but im focusing on art lately since i just got my stylus back so im prob not gonna do it for awhile but i'll try to before may >:DD I currently only use 'Write it Japanese!' app on mobile, its REALLY useful, idk anything to help with grammar but my jp speaking friend recommends da book 'Minna no nihongo'. She used to be my jp study buddy but shes been VERY busy with uni lately so :'''D AND YES BBG (can i call u dat??) LETS PRACTICE TOGETHER <33 tbh it would be better if we use hiragana/katakana/kanji (i literally dont know kanji SOBS) since it helps us learn!! AND DAT WOULD BE FUNN

From just my understanding: 'Kim-san, Yahoo/hello! Youre a cool person [smth smth]'

from google: 'Kimu, Yahoo! It hurts to think you're cool' (pls get ur shit together google 😭😭i couldnt call my friends bitches lovingly bcs of u)

YES I'LL BE EXPECTING THEM <33 I HOPE U HAVE A LOVELY DAY TOO HON

LMAO WAT DO I CALL U?? I WANNA ADD UR MOOT TAG

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello, hottie-cutie!! good morning!! how did your live sound check go? 'wait you read genshin fanfics?' hm well.. these pretty boys.. also idk anything about ekaterina but the fact my name is in genshin?? 'i have met a bunch of hannahs in college' ive just imagined a bunch of yous looking at each other like in that spider-men meme TT 'we all call kitties in the ph mingming or muning' oooh it's cute. you can call me this hfjdjd if you want. we call cats with kiskis (hope you meant it bc idk if i got you right) 'i think it has to do with the sound they make' yeah ig every language has words that imitate animal's sounds but interpret them differently. it's a cute and amusing difference. 'i hate raising my voice' so true. since i only knew how my mom expressed anger through raising her voice, now i do it unintentionally?? so i try to just not talk.. i'm really proud of your good job at calming yourself and all. it's admirable. this world is too angry. 'i hate angriness so much.' so true. 'im so annoyed im making everything so long' it's totally fine. you have life beside tumblr and it like.. takes time. so everything's fine. take your time. it's not a job or some real responsibility to have strict deadlines. dont forget to enjoy it all! it's exciting to know youre writing modern au (ok can we say wfal? anything i'm running out of symbols TT). hope it's not overwhelming or too much. 'also ive been trying not to curse' curse *devil emoji* no but if it's your goal or kind of a challenge for yourself, i respect it and hope you'll do well. but cursing isnt really bad! it's a big part of language's vocabulary so i see it as a real crime to forbid it. 'i was checking to see if you sent me a message and i was like 'oh i didnt get a message today’ ghfjdkdj lol it's funny how i've been only sending you the message when (as i learned later) you had already got up. like it was 7:40 in philippines? 'pls dont forget i will always reply to you' TT arent you cute?? thanks TT love you TT i cant really help my anxiety but im trying to calm myself with your kind words, thanks for you patience TT 'OMG YES I GOT THE NEW CHARACTER LOOK' OMG congratulations!!! so happy for you! hes hot. rip for his weakness. yk men are just never enough, its not your fault. 'i only play it to kill the enemies and to explore AND TO GET CHARACTERS' respectable. ig enjoyment is the aim of playing games? so if you're satisfied with it it's perfect. i'm really lucky my bestie didn't continue to play genshin bc the last time she liked a game, she made me download phasmophobia... and my laptop was hardly even alive... 1) it wasnt hbo it was a fucking COMPLEX SUBSCRIPTION on a russian idk browser? it has its own system with the plenty of services including the one that gives access to hbo. it just was the one they offered me to try fro free TT 2) and they NEVER replied me. no im not crying. suddenly i've read some articles on the wiki of ice and fire and all of the english cursing words are too soft to describe this PIZDETZ. the only thought i had was imsorryimsorry. like i knew about the dance of the dragons and all but later?? i still want to read the books later but it was just... idk i was just a little shocked and A LOT regretful.. i've also just started watching helluva boss bc i've seen a lot of shorts with the dad/daughter moments that made me pour my heart out with tears. daddy issues strike bad. though i've come to hate daddy kink in a way? not screaming it's disgusting why do you want to fuck your dad way but reading a pretty fic, seeing 'tell me whos your daddy' 'oh daddy fuck me harder' and closing the tab silently way. guess my daddy issues conflicted with the insecurities about being too big and these fic's always teeny-tine sweet readers... not my type ig. sugar daddies though? yeah i liked that modern sugar daddy au yk... money sounds attractive af. hope it wasn't too much!! glad to know i bring your mood up. have a nice day!! good luck with the classes (online or offline or whatever)!! love you! take care and get some rest before the homework <з

MEOW HELLOW YOURE SO EARLY TODAY???? DID YOU SLEEP 😡

LOOK AT THIS KITTY IS THIS DREAM OF THE ENDLESS IN CAT FORM? (lol just say yes even tho you dont know him HAHAHHAH)

how did your live sound check go?

T_T it was tiring. i was supposed to work out before i left for school because i work out every other day, but i woke up pretty early and so i didnt feel like working out, and it was a pretty good choice, i think, becAUSE WE DID SO MUCH MANUAL LABOR IN CARRYING EQUIPMENT BACK AND FORTH FROM THE 6th to 12th floor T_T LIKE BIG SPEAKERS AND DRUMS AND BOXES AND H:LAHF:ASF i was sweating T_T but it was pretty enjoyable i felt like i was the main character AHHAAHHAH even though i couldnt even perform like how i secretly wanted to. T_T

'wait you read genshin fanfics?' hm well.. these pretty boys.. also idk anything about ekaterina but the fact my name is in genshin??

HAHAHAHAHA YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT ME WITH MATT SMITH FR HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH my archnemesis. also

apparently this is ekaterina T_T and idk i havent been paying attention to the lore so i think she's an extra and idk anything about her HAHAHHAAH

'i have met a bunch of hannahs in college' ive just imagined a bunch of yous looking at each other like in that spider-men meme TT

T_T LOL NONE OF THE HANNAHS IVE EVER MET LOOK EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO ME but its still a pretty funny thought.

'we all call kitties in the ph mingming or muning' oooh it's cute. you can call me this hfjdjd if you want. we call cats with kiskis (hope you meant it bc idk if i got you right)

yes yes! you got it right. ITS SO FUNNY YOU CALL CATS WITH KISKIS HASHFLHASF SO CUTE KISS KISS MWAH MWAH and sure you can be my muning mingming kitty kitty cat cat <3 <3

'i think it has to do with the sound they make' yeah ig every language has words that imitate animal's sounds but interpret them differently. it's a cute and amusing difference.

HONESTLY ITS SO INTERESTING AND FUNNY TO THINK THAT SOUNDS DIFFER IN COUNTRIES T_T like frog for example is it ribbit in english T_T ???? like ok but in filipino its kokak and i think it's more correct AHHAAHAHAHAH what is it in russian

'i hate raising my voice' so true. since i only knew how my mom expressed anger through raising her voice, now i do it unintentionally?? so i try to just not talk.. i'm really proud of your good job at calming yourself and all. it's admirable. this world is too angry. 'i hate angriness so much.' so true.

omg even are moms are the same T_T generational trauma coming through T_T i made that decision because of her tbh T_T [hug] anger is so ugly bOOOO TOMATO TOMATO 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

'im so annoyed im making everything so long' it's totally fine. you have life beside tumblr and it like.. takes time. so everything's fine. take your time. it's not a job or some real responsibility to have strict deadlines. dont forget to enjoy it all! it's exciting to know youre writing modern au (ok can we say wfal? anything i'm running out of symbols TT). hope it's not overwhelming or too much.

HAHAAH WE CAN CALL IT WFAL waffle 🧇 i lof it HAHAHA

'also ive been trying not to curse' curse *devil emoji* no but if it's your goal or kind of a challenge for yourself, i respect it and hope you'll do well. but cursing isnt really bad! it's a big part of language's vocabulary so i see it as a real crime to forbid it.

😈😈😈😈 HHAHHAHHAHHH. idk cursing is kinda ugly but so fun HAHHAAHAAH i love how passionate you are to vocabulary and language <3

'i was checking to see if you sent me a message and i was like 'oh i didnt get a message today’ ghfjdkdj lol it's funny how i've been only sending you the message when (as i learned later) you had already got up. like it was 7:40 in philippines?

T_T thats so thoughtful of you tbh <3 I HOPE YOURE NOT SENDING ME MESSAGES IN EARLY-LATE HOURS T_T😡😡😡😡

'pls dont forget i will always reply to you' TT arent you cute?? thanks TT love you TT i cant really help my anxiety but im trying to calm myself with your kind words, thanks for you patience TT

<3 ur cute

'OMG YES I GOT THE NEW CHARACTER LOOK' OMG congratulations!!! so happy for you! hes hot. rip for his weakness. yk men are just never enough, its not your fault.

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ur so right men are never enough /: yuck

idk i wanna show you all my pretty boys T_T

this is zhong (li) i love him he keeps me safe with his shield BUT HES SO CHATTY OSMATHUS WINE TASTES THE SAME AS EVER BUT WHERE ARE THOSE THO SHARE THE MEMORY he says that ever 3 seconds so when he dies im like , u deserved it tho T_T but i love him i was so lucky when i got him i got him AND XINGQIU at the SAME TIME

this is him he likes literature i think you'd like him

tHIS IS GOROU MY PUPPY BOY HES SO SOFT AND PUPPY BUT HES SO WEAK FOR ME BUT IDC I LOVE HIM AND I WILL KEEP LEVELING HIM UP BECAUSE I LOVE HIM

yeah and you know this dude im not typing his name because ITS TOO HARD T_T

he almost fell while i was climbing a cliff T_T he ugly for that

this is diluc with his long pony tail and hes so emo i love him

ill end with bennet because i luv him he's so clumsy and canonically, people dont like hanging out with him cos he's 'bad luck' BUT I LOVE HIM T_T

he deserves the world T_T

i wanted to share mah girls too but maybe next time this is getting too long

'i only play it to kill the enemies and to explore AND TO GET CHARACTERS' respectable. ig enjoyment is the aim of playing games? so if you're satisfied with it it's perfect. i'm really lucky my bestie didn't continue to play genshin bc the last time she liked a game, she made me download phasmophobia... and my laptop was hardly even alive...

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHHA i had a freind who played phasmophobia and asked if i wanted to join but horror freaks me out so i said HECK NO. WHAT IF YOU PLAY GENSHIN WITH ME HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAAH <3 <3 <3

1) it wasnt hbo it was a fucking COMPLEX SUBSCRIPTION on a russian idk browser? it has its own system with the plenty of services including the one that gives access to hbo. it just was the one they offered me to try fro free TT

ah SCAMMMMEEEERRRRRSSS T_T /: HAHHAHAH

2) and they NEVER replied me. no im not crying.

it ok u can cry scammers are heartless

suddenly i've read some articles on the wiki of ice and fire and all of the english cursing words are too soft to describe this PIZDETZ. the only thought i had was imsorryimsorry.

HAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHH

like i knew about the dance of the dragons and all but later?? i still want to read the books later but it was just... idk i was just a little shocked and A LOT regretful..

lol you wanna talk about it? HAHAHAH i dont really care but that blood and cheese thing, according to one girl on tiktok, you should either read about or watch and so ive been avoiding it but idc anymore tbh

i've also just started watching helluva boss bc i've seen a lot of shorts with the dad/daughter moments that made me pour my heart out with tears. daddy issues strike bad. though i've come to hate daddy kink in a way? not screaming it's disgusting why do you want to fuck your dad way but reading a pretty fic, seeing 'tell me whos your daddy' 'oh daddy fuck me harder' and closing the tab silently way.

MY JAW ON THE FLOOR HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH. i dont know helluva boss so i looked it up. im glad you enjoy it? do you enjoy it? DADDY ISSUES T_T you like me fr but idk i dont care about what people think about what i read like im reblogging so the writer knows how much i like it you can judge me all you want. idk i dont think i have daddy issues HAHHAAHAH i just really like the idea of a man all rugged and handsome and rich taking care of me. maybe i am mentally ill smh HAHAAHHH

guess my daddy issues conflicted with the insecurities about being too big and these fic's always teeny-tine sweet readers... not my type ig.

T_T i kiss. im luv u. youre not too big. 'too' is not real. its a social construct. you're just you and that's enough <3

sugar daddies though? yeah i liked that modern sugar daddy au yk... money sounds attractive af.

HAHHHAHAHA youre talking about that fic i reblogged right? JAJA I LOVE HTAT TOO HAHAHHAH gimme me all ur cash

hope it wasn't too much!! glad to know i bring your mood up.

not at all <3 you do bring up my mood very much

have a nice day!! good luck with the classes (online or offline or whatever)!! love you! take care and get some rest before the homework <з

<3 you too my love. i love you take care I HOPE YOURE BETTER NOW WITH YOUR FEVER AND ALL

xxx

[novella-november]

Ive written 11k so far, as of the 8th, and im about to go into another writing session! This is more than ive written in the past like, 3 months, deadass. For anyone struggling on how to open a chapter, refer to your favourite book/fanfics/written media and see how they do it, i know it seems like obvious advice but ive just realised it truly is vital.

Awesome, and love to here it!

One of the most memorable opening lines from my childhood is still one I can quote despite not having read the books since I think middleschool?

Torak woke with a start from a sleep he had not meant to have.

I have that opening line memorized from rabidly reading this book over and over again. I can even, maybe, still tell you the rest of the first page 20 years later???

The fire had died down while he slept, and he shivered in the cold, feeling the blood from Da's wound soaked into his clothes. "Torak," His father mumbled in the dark, stirring, and Torak scrambled to his side. "You must leave me, go. The bear will be back."

(The above is, if my 20 year old memory is in any way accurate, one of the opening pages of Wolf Brother, by Michelle Paver, which you can find more info about on her website linked here. As of me googling this, I'm now finding out there's an extra two books in the original series I never got to read, but she also wrote another three books starting in 2020!)

So, yes, if you are struggling with an opening sentence or first scene in a new chapter--grab all your favorite books off the shelf, and examine the opening chapters: which ones are kinda meh, and which ones draw you in immediately?

What do you want to establish, first and foremost, about your story?

Where or when is your opening scene set? What does it say about your setting or characters?

What is happening?

Are you going to open on an interesting dream sequence as your character soars through the sky, weightless and freed from their earthly worries, only to wake up to their life in an apocolyse or school drama?

The middle of a hectic battle, full of the sounds of swords and shields clashing and the cries of dying men?

A prologue from generations before your main conflict setting the stage for an unstoppable force of entropy which has been creeping through millenia to start the conflic with neither intent nor ill will?

An introduction from a fictional autobiography, where the 'author' is your main character and is explaining their motivation for writing down their memoirs of their childhood? (🥺🐉)

Or maybe just the sound of a car door slamming and your main character walking into their first day of high school?

For sentences that open up a new chapter, not a new book, its going to largely depend on what you ended the previous chapter with, how much time has passed, if you're switching perspectives, etc.

And don't forget, this is just your first draft! If you don't like what you wrote, or heck, if you can't even think of how to start the first scene of your story, just skip it for now and start writing the first solid scene you've got, and work your way from there :)

Main editing will come later, for now, just focus on writing -- if you get stuck, you can always [mark the scene with a short description like this], and then come back to fill it in later!

[chogiwow]

dude so i saw ur reply last night but i was in desperate need of sleep but also didn't sleep bc i was just engrossed in a book IVDSNS BUT this morning i opened up my inbox and couldnt find ur reply and was so confused and as i continued to be unable to find it in my inbox i got sadder and then i realised im stupid bc the reply wouldn't be in my inbox 🧍‍♂️anyways semi-long reply sorry hehe (semi-long bc ive defs sent longer ones)

ahh i see i see @ substack. reminds me of medium, which i've come across before... i did debate exploring medium as another writing platform, but never got around to it vsjnvks so its nice that u bring substack to my attention bc now i can compare 🤩 well. maybe not now now but yknow. whenever i decide to/can get around to it NVJDKNSK

100% agree w and have had the same thoughts as you about fics/continuing to write/the pub industry (which i really should give much more thought to, given that one of my degrees is in writing🧍‍♂️) and yeah no it DOES serve as a good incentive to build a portfolio (if anyone asked me for a portfolio, i would simply hand over my uni work bc i have nothing else rn LMAO) but tbh i think even if it is a hobby, it's a good way to kinda explore and set your ??? idk like foundations or whatever so you get an idea of what you wanna write about and if you actually wanna take it seriously (which isn't to say you aren't - we can 100% take hobbies seriously - just that different contexts/intents would call for different. things. wow i love words.)

and also related but unrelated, i think its fun/nice to. uh. idk how to say it but for us (as in literally you and me, but also other mutuals and people in fandom who made friends in the context of fandom) to see eachother write or talk about things outside of the uniting factor or common denominator or whatever? though yeah that does kinda potentially extend the relationship beyond what some people are comfy w. i'm kinda just rambling rn sorry AHHA

OH BUT BUT sorry back to the publishing/career thing. Even if you don't use the substack writings for like. writing/publishing careers, it can still help with other career things? like, you run a blog and hav experience writing about diverse topics, communicating ideas etcetc. so no losses 🤩

do not feel guilty about the chan fic 🙂‍↔️ yes i love/d it and i think about it and yes i would love to read more BUT im so happy to have just been eble to experience it at all. i hope you've never felt pressured by my responses to it KNVDSKJNVDSK sincerest of apologies if you have.

tbh i havent been up to much, i don't think. shits kinda hit the fan tbh but i'm hoping (always hoping) the only other place for the shit to go is down, now. (ie. i hope this is the part where things start getting easier etc). it is what it is, even if it shouldn't be, and we'll somehow get through it because. well, we have so far, right? BUT ANYWAYS

"anything you wanna yap about-" BOY do i have things to yap about. that book^^ i was so engrossed in? jesus CHRIST i sent my friend 10mins worth of voicemsgs JNCDKSNDSK (it may have been 10mins because i simply i can't articulate properly and kept repeating myself and going off on tangents.. but it probably would have been 10mins anyways if i'd planned and scripted it all before hand anyways. it was only 10mins because i got tired and realised i should probably see how much ive spammed 💀) ("kat... 10 whole minutes? 😭" babes thats not even the worst of it-)

i also like to 'yap' about the stuff i learn in class (my other degree/major is in media and cultural studies) and i just 🤩 have so much to say about some things that i find so so interesting but me talking as much as i do/want to is also just. i find it interesting and really wanna share and talk about it KJNVDSKJVNSK so like yeah, to bring this full circle, is why i've vaguely thought about using medium/substack,,, tbh i thought about just making a sideblog here AHAHA but i cant take myself on tumblr seriously LOL + 'fresh' start on new platform sounds neat mhm mhm but also hehehe (evil) maybe instead of spamming my friend about stuff, i can just write blog posts and she can read it whenever hMMMM thinking thinking,,,

anyways 🧍‍♂️sorry, i was expectin this to be long but it ended up longer than i thought it would HAHA wait no im rereading my ask/reply rn and substack just sounds great bc i can do informal reviews about things i've watched/read aswell AHHHH and yeah like just ??? more personal though explorations/'journaling' kinda vibes as well? HMMM AND and even mini writing pieces--- i literally do not have the time to be considering this rn but here i am wHOOPS okay i'll stop now before this gets even longer 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️

hi katttt, i'm so sorry for the late reply :'D apparently i'm in the phase of my life where i can only type out articulated replies on my laptop and not my phone, also week's been sooo hectic i hate being a corporate slave fml <3

lmfao not you tryna find my reply in your inbox sdjskd all's good tho hehe :3ooh medium is ... something, i couldn't really figure it out all that well and also the few times i've tried to read on medium, it's asked me to subsribe or sign up to continue to read? and i just don't ... vibe with that lol

yes yes, tryna write about real life stuff really makes me pause once in a while and just think (?) it through bc writing fiction is gen easier than trying to string together the raw ideas relating irl issues/stuff (for me at least). like it really makes me stop midway and rethink my choice of phrasing stuff or even putting forward an opinion thinking about how its gonna make people percieve me? well, not that its not sumn that doesn't apply to fiction as well bc i kinda think that the way one writes always just brings about some sort of perception of their character and personal views through their words, no matter how subtle ... am i making sense? but fictional writing just lets you cloak it into a 'what-if' situation where any judgement of your story/character(s) is not a direct discernment of your personal opinions whereas talking about irl stuff always comes with that concious load of having your opinions/thoughts being obligated to a verdict (positive/negative/both).

so anywayyy sjhdj, yes it's fun to just write and pursue as a hobby bc its fun communiatingideas and realise that it might not be all that irrelevant as you thought haha :>

and noooo, i absolutely love love LOVE reading yout tags on my fics, like i legit go back to my old writings and read the rb tags and it always makes me so happy :( i do want to continue writing fiction bc its always been a comfort to me to be able to weave stories my way, but i suppose everything has its own time to unfold and settle ... sometimes inspiration hits so bad but the will to write it out is just not there :/ but anyway ! i'm glad that you've enjoyed my writing so far <3

yeah, things don't don't need to work out all the time. i'm realising this the hard way, through adulting. really makes me wanna go back and give my younger self a good whooping on the ass to have ever wanted to grow up fast so desperately. but yeah, hope your shit works out man (✿◡‿◡)

lmaoooo no bc ! its so fun to just simply yap about stuff , that's like writing but ... verbally ,,, you could litch rally make a yap blog and i'd read it alllllll :3 also what book is this, drop the nameeeee :'D no but like i get you not being able to take tumblr seriously bc i was like ! i can't talk about this shit on tumblr ! tumblr's supposed to be for my clownery ! all the grownup stuff needs a different platform altogether sjsdksjd but if you ever consider making a blog, i think i'll read it fo the vibes itself. and the words ofc and opinions and stuff. like that's important too gaaaahhhhh what i'm saying is ,, i think you'd make a really amusing and entertaining blog - in a good way !!

anyway ! i think i needed a medium to unscramble the crap in my brain so the blog served well (even though it was an impulsive decision lol) but yeah ! go for it, you won't regret it. nobody really gaf's in the beginning, like readership is low babes, unless you have friends who will actively read your shit but that's a big comfort to me lololol. not sicouraging you in anyway, but its a point to consider if you're looking for a chill sesh with your own writing haha <3

[pwblogarchive]

November 2003

November 10, 2003

6:51 pm

“paris hilton sex tape”

it's so weird to be homeless. to throw the dirtiest pillow into the corner of rooms just to get by. i never write in here anymore. i don't really feel the need to anymore for some reason. words feel stuck behind my tongue and my hand. i feel ashamed of how words make me feel and sometimes i want to stay asleep forever.

maybe i'll stop by here again soon.

peter

November 13, 2003

“you feel first kiss good”

So. Portland. Thanks for the underground tunnels and sweet words. Couple of kids said they read this thing. Who wants to read about a kid who just complains and plays video games? You ever look in the mirror and say god I am so fucked up and that's okay. Thanks for taking the time to read this though I fear it maybe a waste of your eyesight. I'm doing guest reccomendations with roze harding over at absolutepunk.net this sunday, so go check it out. Then next week it'll be patrick. Then joe. You get the idea. Also I'm playing bass with less than jake during their encore. Maybe you'll see it. Who would have thought me in a ska band.

Portland has this system of underground tunnels called the shanghai tunnels. They go down from the river and port up to the basements of taverns and the local hoods used to sneak up them and kidnap people from bars, drug them and sell them to ships as sailors. They would wake up out at sea forced to work. How insane. Little bit of history. There is a good book on it by chuck palahuick. Read it. Hang out with us after shows.

'You'd think by now I would have died. I'm sorry girls I tried.'

peter

November 14, 2003

“we just played a show in vietnom during the 1970s amongst guerilla warfare tactics

it was sold out.”

things have been good. we're acutally in san frantastic right now. i was pretty upset the past few days, but today i feel a lot better. the shows have been awesome, so no complaining about that. less than jake is sound checking right now and i'm humming along.

oh yea, that baby picture to the right is me, im not sure if that was ever made clear.

November 14, 2003

“i used to compare myself but i don't care anymore”

downstairs at the warfield in SF. getting fed on tours is crazy, today we got fed twice. it means i can spend my per diems on things to fill the home i don't have. a modest mouse song is reminding me of you. ive got the ipod on shuffle but i can't mess with that kind of luck so i keep skipping to it. i think my band hates it. my mom reads this thing. its pretty rad cause i know someone back home cares and i was kind of always the "mom look at this" kinnd of kid. at the same time i figure i might have to censor it a bit, haha. california is gonna be rad, theres something about driving to the coast. i can see patrick and andy talking from here, i can't hear it. its so weird that i am paid to hang out with my friends. for the record it makes me smile when you copy the things i say, its almost cute.

the show was rad- mostly because a few kids were really esxcited to hang out and talk. it made us feel at home. sweet girls and boys. got to play with less than jake, pretty amazing.

kiss me. breathe life into my old failures. i want to feel them at the speed of light.

i got paris hilton's number. what do you got?

peter pumkin eater

November 14, 2003

8:14 pm

“i want my funeral to be a party. play all the hits and dance the night away.”

morrisey.tupac.love,love will tear us apart, yes it will. unbroken. it doesn't go the way you think it does, nothing ever does. mountain drives. scars and middle fingers. club food, club stomachaches. phonecalls that feel first kiss good. northern california nights, southern california hearts. tonight is all about we miss you.

we miss you.

November 17, 2003

“when i was young, your word was the word that always won.”

so i am writing this entry and i am not really sure what to say or whats going through my head. things only go wrong when you are a half a world away. you have to read this whole thing for it to make sense, don't start and then not finish. yesterday when we were driving to las vegas i had this bad dream that my mom had chemo and died from it. i was than woken up by a phone call from my sister who told me to call home because my grandpa had just died. we were expecting it, so this didn't completely shock me.i just feel totally fucked when i think about how sad it is for someone to die completely alone, with noone there. it makes me feel really guilty for some reason- that i am out here and living. and everytime i try to talk to anyone about anything the words get choked in my throat. don't mistake this as me asking to have you say "pete you can talk to me". i know i can, but i can't. because something is messed up inside of me. i feel stupid because this is just some dumb tour journal and i am just airing the dirty laundry and catching the unaccounted for ghosts. i don't need a shoulder, i just need to figure myself out. and the only thing that gets me through anything is my three friends in this band and 30 minutes a night we play. it makes me think about how rad my own dad is and how much trouble i give him all the time. nomatter what he is a safety net. whenever i bend he doesn't let me break and it scares me that there will be a day when might not be around. i am sitting in l.a. at one of the greatest hotels around about to play the house of blues and then go hang out with blink (it doesnt feel real and doesn't feel deserved). i'll write more later tonight. my sidekick broke so i don't know when i'll get on the net again.

tonight is all about we miss you...

i miss you.

p

November 19, 2003

“we write music not soap operas.”

so l.a. was amazing, the kids in anaheim were amazing. anyway, p.s. i got paris hiltons number from some dumb A&R guy at a show of ours and never called it- she doesn't know i exist, i don't care. so dear drama on our webboard, if you don't like what i have to say than you can check out this other thing.... called 'the door'. leave, don't read this. stop focusing on our jeans and haircuts, stop believing gossip on the internet. we write music, not soap operas. my head has gotten so big i can barely hold it up to type this. its such a joke. if you only knew how insecure i felt, so sick in my own skin- if only you knew how nervous you all make me.

thankyouforbeingsupportiveofus.

i may take a break from writing in here for a bit, maybe not. i am pretty obsessed with words. we'll see. i don't want this to feel like i am just going through the motions.

thanks, i can RU(i)N my life myself.

peterrabbit.

you are like fucking cancer.

November 21, 2003

“how does my name taste on your lips?”

yeah so i have given alot of thought on the drive. the shows have been fun. we are getting to hang out with alot of old friends. i have always thought that what i say in here is overdramatic. that is a fault of my own. but i want to give you an honest portrayal of what our/my life is like on tour and going through this process. its not all shitty. its not all fun. it is different from how my life was before. everyone in this band can write on here- i guess some of them are smarter and have better stuff to do- which i should go do now. it's hard to not let people get you down when you put yourself out there. i have to work on that.

go listen to kent "isola" if our new record doesnt sound something like that i will be disappointed.

peter

November 22, 2003

1:35 pm

I.C. you are feeling Drake

you know how it goes. its been awhile. i hate the fucking drama everywhere. yet somehow i feel pretty attached to it. the west coast was rad. we're making our way back. i think i may be spending thanksgiving on a plane. more for me to complain about. my throats hurting pretty badly and i have van neck from sleeping in it last night. on a positive note i got "my life with morrissey" this documentary on hardcore morrissey fans (bring on the freaks). i'm hoping i might see myself hahaha. tommy two tone might jump on this tour for a minute, you know "jenny 8675309" haha how good?

it can't get much better/worse.

call me up on my cellular phone just to see how i'm doing. it would make my day.

November 24, 2003

“who could ever love a kid with eyes this blotchy and red”

joy division

the hills have eyes

vinnie and roger ltj

midwest hearts

breakfast all day

old pictures

van conversation/van sing along

when you smell like baby sweat in your sleep

headphones as medicine

complaining online, new bruises (to the face and the ego)

867-5309 (yeah they're on this tour)

love, love will tear us apart

give up the ghost

photo shoots for dirty looking tired kids

you won't understand so don't try to.

these are the lives the world would lead but they are too against injury.

peter pumpkin eater

November 25, 2003

11:29 pm

“the pity party is officially over.”

i am single if you wanna hang out, bros and stellas.

also, i am moving to another journal at some point so the drama in this stupid one can stop.

November 25, 2003

“over the years i've kept more grudges than i have kept promises and friends…”

i am sorry i have been so out of touch lately. this tour has proved to me that being in this band is the best thing that will ever happen to me.

for the record i know you are going through a hard time-

it's good to know you are doing okay and that someone is there for you.

cause i can't be anymore.

peter

November 28, 2003

“the breaking of the fellowship”

detroit - philadelphia - d.c. three amazing shows in a row. detroit felt good, like at home. philadelphia was one of the biggest rooms we played on this tour. that being said we still felt really connected and the disco dance after party was rad. d.c. we had never played before so we were pretty nervous about it. in the end there was no need for it cause everybody had a good time. it just felt pretty right lately.

after the d.c. show everything felt weird when the band all went our seperate ways for thanksgiving. it felt off. it's like i spend all my time with these guys and it felt strange to be not doing it. it sounds dumb but if this ended i don't know what i would do. everything was so different before and i feel like they are the only people who understand me.

this thing saved my life. blah blah. who cares.

happy thanksgiving.

peter

November 29, 2003

“the act is getting old (so are you).”

its funny with all the things you had to say.

the truth never found its way in.

see you around.

November 30, 2003

“I got you in my headphones.”

Reading: touching from a distance. I.C. I know how it feels to be off. Watching: glengary glen ross. You feel like an old lead.

Drove all night from home to pittsburgh. Thank you for making it worth it. We got the best reaction we have ever gotten there. Saw a ton of old friends and kids from other towns. Left late today for new york city. I am in love with this band. I spent most of my free time answering email though I fear I will never catch up. Why do I always pick the worst times to fall apart?

I've got the remix of sincerity playing in my head. We're all falling apart again. I must confess how much I believe in love. You're who I'm dreaming of.

p