#writing for myself is so nice. I write this because I want to read it.
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Yeah, I agree with this. As far as legacy names go, I'm at least slightly more forgiving of Maes, because it's someone that was close to both Ed and Winry (even if not close enough to name a kid after like you said), and took kind of a familial role. The one I really can't get behind even a little bit is Nina. Like, to Ed that'd be super traumatizing. Would he really want to relive that every time he calls his daughter for dinner? If he did because of a guilt complex or something, would it be fair to the kid? And would the people close to him not see that and try to talk him out of it? Someone like, say, Winry, to whom the name would also have no signifficance because she's never even met the girl? But I'm not a big fan of legacy names - for Ed and Winry specifically it doesn't seem fitting - but also in general. Just seems a bit unoriginal from an out-of-universe perspective, especially when all of the previous characters' children have reused names. Also is it me, or does this pop up in fiction pretty much only for previous characters' children, and even then mostly in fanfics? (No offense to fanfics, I read and even write them myself, but this feels very specifically fanficcy to me). Like, has there ever been a time that an established character, whose parents aren't important characters, just happened to be named after a dead friend of theirs, and that whole backstory is entirely off-screen to the audience? (Actually that sounds very funny to me, someone should write that) THAT SAID - I have a weird soft spot for Sara. I don't know, it's just a pretty name, and the Rockbells feel a bit overshadowed by the Elrics as far as dead parents go, so the idea of honoring them feels nice to me. Also subverts the whole protagonist-centrality trope, like how people sometimes name all the kids only after people important to Ed, or make all of them a copy of only him in personality and interests. Like, they're not just the children of Ed -the protagonist - guys, they're Winry's too - she's important! Would still prefer an original name, but I do kinda like this one.
I'm gonna say it y'all... I don't think Edward Elric was close enough with Maes Hughes to name his own kid after the guy. Like, yeah, for sure, he liked Maes and was horrified when he died and promised to keep such things from happening in the future, but i really don't think he is close enough to the guy to name his kid after him.
And if they were close enough... how fucked up would it be to call your kid by the name of someone you once loved but lost? What a burden to put onto a child.
#fma#fma meta#got a bit rambly#but to ramble just a bit more#can kinda see roy using maes as a name#assuming he has the a)opportunity and b)desire to have a kid#and he might feel that the whole “reliving the guilt and trauma” thing is something he deserves#and I'm not sure riza would stop him like winry would for ed#as she probably has a similar guilt complex#not married to the idea but I can see it#but that's a whole other can of worms#I'll leave it to the people more focused on roy and riza's potential future (and presence or lack of children) to ponder#also realize I come off kinda angry#promise I'm not this is not that serious lol#not angry just thought-having and rambly
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Being silly.
SIKE! THIS WAS AN AD FOR MY NEW FIC THE WHOLE TIME. Boy I had you fooled. Anywho, here’s the summary along with the tags.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: SMG3 & SMG4 (SuperMarioGlitchy4)
Characters: SMG4 (SuperMarioGlitchy4), SMG3 (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Mr. Puzzles (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Bob Bobowski (SMG4), Fishy Boopkins (SMG4), Meggy Spletzer (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Tari (SuperMarioGlitchy4), Luigi (Nintendo)
Additional Tags: Little Mr. Puzzles is very important to me, Cannon typical shenanigans, SMG34 if you squint, Relationships aren't the focus tho, Takes place in the middle of the Puzzlevision movie, Little Puzzles is like 11 to me and will be written as such, May have projected my adhd onto him a tad, No beta we die like Axol did, Angst, Relatively new to the fandom, Anon is on because I'm a nervous person, The SMGs and Mini Puzzles are the main focus
Summary:
SMG4 and 3 escape one channel, just to be hit completely off track and fall into a seemingly endless void.
After meeting the floor, they find themselves in a room with a shadow like memory of a child, who is ecstatic to have finally made some friends.
If you’ve been wanting to see more Mini Puzzles centered fics like me, then consider reading.
And as much as I like thinking of interactions between Mini Puzzles and Mr. Puzzles, they won’t be seeing each other in the fic for a while 😔
#smg4#smg4 puzzlevision#puzzlevision arc#puzzlevision#mr puzzles#mr. puzzles#smg3#smg4 fanart#smg4 fanfic#fanfiction#nonsensical art#Nonsensical writing#yey#Thinking of how Mr. Puzzles said ‘My head. My rules’ like Bet#You’re just letting people scurry around in YOUR head. that’s a disaster waiting to happen#(Not me writing the disaster 👀)#We’re unburying repressed memories with this one#Anon is on cus I was nervous to post. may turn it off later.#I mean. you guys know who posted it now though#shhh 🤫 keep it a secret#writing for myself is so nice. I write this because I want to read it.#I’m sorry Kinit0Pet fics that I need to finish#I promise I’ll work on you in a little#the hyperfixation for this is strong rn#why did I make myself draw a hand as a center point#wanted to wait till I posted chapter 3 because it’s my fav chapter. but every chapter I’m currently writing is my fav.
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me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH
#i am so fucking tired of being ill#is it not enough that i have a chronic illness and chronic pain condition all the time anyway???#ughhh#i'm grateful because i at least managed to get to (most) of the gigs i wanted to this month#but other than that i've literally just been stuck in bed unable to do anything and my brain is starting to melt with boredom#idk how i can still not be well enough to write or absorb myself in reading a good book or fanfic or even be on here properly#but my brain feels like MUSH and it's so frustrating#i miss my little four walls men so much 😩#i miss being able to see the sky and see my friends and taste the food i eat#sorry i know i'm complaining#i just needed to vent for a moment#it's been such a shit few months anyway and i was already in a really rough spot with my mental/physical health for a number of reasons#so this just feels like the last straw#universe please let me feel a little better soon#i have things i want to do and people i want to talk to and fics i want to write#oh how nice it must be to live in a body that isn't constantly impaired in some way 🤦♀️#lulu posts
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I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.
#megs is reading#I would've linked it as a full link but it didn't parse right. which probably means it has some settings against AI which. good for them!#hilariously I was complaining immediately before reading it that SO MUCH of the discussion around burnout and overwork are like#'well you should train yourself to enjoy things and live in the moment and say fuck work and not worry about it making you more productive!#and like. as a writer. as a person whose brain will eat itself alive if I do not write. NOT because augh productivity#but cuz [that one post about how if you don't draw the images will clog up inside you and make you sick]#this does not ever spark joy. I want to do the work I enjoy and find fulfilling! I want that work to be valued enough to let me do it!#where is my discussion around burnout for people who like. can in fact sit down and enjoy a nice cup of tea or cooking a pot of soup#that's not the goddamn problem here. the problem is that not all labor is valued and in fact very little labor if any is valued.#the products are labor are valued. the labor itself is an inconvenient stepping stone that it would be nice to not have to take.#ANYWAY I'm just going to go try to finish my fucking book draft now. and convince myself that it matters.
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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kinda went mia for a bit there but it's just cuz the boy has been visiting this last week (he goes back tomorrow morning 🥺 💔)
I do want to catch up on ffxivwrite prompts, at my own pace, but I'm very happy overall because this is the most I've done for any challenge like this since uh
Maybe middle school? lol so yeah
Just been super happy to write out the little vignettes that have been stuck in my brain for literal years
And been absolutely chuffed reading up on the blorbos-in-law :> thank for the food, I still need to catch up but aaa I love what I have read
#skele ramblings#also if i immediately jump into writing again ill hopefully distract myself from the fact i wont see my bf until christmas#maybe lol#probably not :'D i want to be living w him already cuz this mini heartbreak every time has been aaaaa#i love him a lot y'all#he's my favorite ever#i work today and his sleepy 'drive safe' and 'love you too' when i left for work were so fucking precious i want that every morning forever#also lol i def slept thru my alarm but his gentle bapping of my face woke me up ezpz and being on time for work more would be nice#your honor i need him because im eepy and he is the best alarm clock#hanging out w him and my friends has been so natural too like#aaaaa#ok i will stop being a sap because im making myself cry at work#i hope he misses this post cuz he might wind up p embarrassed reading these tags#but also hi bb ilu a lot a lot a lot <3
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something i haven't seen a lot of people talk about before is that commenting actually INCREASES my appreciation for a fic. i'm the kind of person who reads constantly and tag browses and is subscribed to a billion authors so i often find myself in a sort of consumption fugue state where i'm theoretically enjoying my time but really am just kind of scrolling transiently through walls of words. but commenting is taking a mental step back from that state to actually consider a fic and give myself space to feel things about it and appreciate what i love about it, picking up on small details i might have otherwise missed, sort of like a gratitude journal or mindfulness practice and we all know what the science says about that 💕
#i'm not interested in those posts that make out commenting to be some kind of moral requirement or necessary writer fuel or whatever because#in the end people should put out what they put out because they want to and work on having a healthy relationship#with whatever naturally comes out of that (this is a reminder to myself as well)#but i'm coming to realize commenting is a genuinely fun and rewarding practice for everyone involved#the reader first and foremost! it's like being back in book club#and bonus you might even get a really nice reply from the author hehe asukiess if you see this your replies made me very happy today 💘💘#i would LOVE to hear your fic ideas or read more of your writing or send more love letters anytime!!!#ah these tags are so long. hit post#🌃
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I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.
Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.
We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.
#fanfic#Writing#I just had to throw out 5k words of a one shot over something I can't change/control but I never delete old WIPs#I do just put them in a folder and still backup that folder with my other files#Yes some of my earlier ideas were horrendous but also there's a part of me still there in each of them#Sometimes it's less about the writing and more about who I was I want to sometimes revisit#Who was the teen girl writing gore at 15 and what would she think of today's writing#Who was the insecure fearful loveless boy who over expressed his masculinity online and wrote tough lonely guy characters#I don't want to be them anymore but when I hate myself sometimes it's nice to read what I've written#You hear the problems you never thought youd overcome in the author notes or in the subject and those fears and pain#You also see the first time you wrote a subject#I wish I hadn't deleted lots of my writing from when I was very young#Some I did because it legitimately could cause or encourage harm if left online#But I think I always smile when I see the old “this year is 8th grade” because by golly#Still think it's hilarious I got really into writing in middle school because I was jealous of someone else's writing ability in 6th grade#I can remember the exact moment I looked at my 2 page story and was filled with jealousy because they wrote 12 pages and my story felt so..#I remember going home and going 'i know I can write something good!' and people will like it!#And then like while looking for some place to upload writing I found fanfic
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Vent post. Because i feel like kicking a hornets' nest.
Honestly im just tired of how people will call someone ignorant/uneducated and will go for the throat for every little thing, while they themselves say shit like pierogis all the time. If you're going to point fingers at others, you yourself should be without fault.
The question is... can you?
#im just so tired of all the shit that i constantly see on the internet#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY DIDNT DRAW SOMETHING PERFECTLY#or ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEY USED A DIFFERENT COLOUR PALETTE#ARTIST CANCELLED BECAUSE THEIR IDEA OF A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ISN'T UP TO FANDOM'S STANDARDS#i bet other people also get shit like that all the time#for example my friend is a writer and he just happens to be a cisguy and whenever i mentioned it to people#they would instantly start saying that they are sure he writes shit like she breasted boobily down the stairs#or i remember how i got told off for making trahearne lives au because apparently#messing with canon is just as bad as falsifying information in history books#just stop for the love of whatever's devine#this has been boiling in me for so long i cant even express it#sorry for going off in the tags in case you decided to read them#peace out imma go and read a book and touch grass#finally its green and soft again after so many rains and storms so it will be a nice chilling time outside#oh btw proper plural is pierogi without the s. singular is pieróg. you want to add s - say pierógs#ngl that pierogi-pierogis is one of my biggest pet peeves#like i wont be stabbing you over it or throw a tantrum and i will just move on with my day i have better things to do in general than#than throwing fits and also im not omniscient myself#like i dont know all the words in english and my german knowledge is very scarce#so i in no way demand others know about pierogis#just give people some room to breathe for gods sake#ok ok ok i think im overwriting this and i cant edit tags on phone so now fr im gonna go and enjoy outside and watch the squirrels
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Could you describe your gender using words that are not typically used to describe one's gender?
The wave of exhilaration I got when I finally thought of a story I want to write after being burnt out for over five years, or maybe novels from the romantic movement or the decadent movement, for the latter it would primarily be the manner in which people spoke with each other in The Picture of Dorian Gray
#ask#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#actually y'all feel free to share your obscure gender descriptions#i still need to finish picture of dorian gray though..#i just adore the stiffness of the character's speech and the overly formal address they have for each other#i find myself really wanting to imitate the style of the romantic/decadent movements because it's so nice to read#and the things they write that would be considered purple prose today maybe is just... i like it#like yes!!! describe to me in three pages what that grandfather clock looks like i am dying to know <3#i do find myself writing more... horror i guess so it'd be me describing in three pages just the most grotesque things lol#my hot take is that you should use purple prose and flowery language. doing it well is a different matter though#and horror absolutely needs some level of purple prose i think. the things that horrify me most are the things left to rot in my heart..#...and that'swhat makes it GOOD! i don't want to be hit again and again i want to SIT with it and let it grow and manifest and be UNBEARABLE#if i read/watch something horror-based or with horror elements and it doesn't do that then i tune it out frankly#that is my hot literature/film(ish) take#(part of the reason i barely watch horror movies anymore is the fact that so many of them tend to be 'hit them again and again' style)#(and filtering those movies out from the movies i'd be horrified by isn't fun or engaging lol)
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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Feeling homicidal at work today ♡
#there's been major issues with wordpress for Weeks now and my beloved colleague told IT about it and added me#to the 'task' explicitly writing 'please talk to [my name] if you have any further questions or want to discuss things as i am on vacation'#today i come back to this task reading a lovely comment by that dude who's responsible for solving the problem going#'i think it's best if we make an appointment to discuss this when you're back :)' bitch ill kill you#my boy doesn't even Use wordpress it's not even his fucking problem. he just was nice enough to summarize my complaints#so i added a comment too because i honestly can't work like this and want this to be Fixed asap#and if he wants to talk to [beloved colleague] first it's gonna take another 2 fucking weeks until anyone even considers the problem again#and i have no patience for this left at this point. so of course that bitch calls me when i was marked as 'absent' on teams#(did he fucking do that on purpose?? so he wouldn't actually have to talk to me? also. just Text me you fucking bitch)#and when i come back to it HE was absent so i couldn't call him back and also i won't wait for him to come back online so i can talk to him#because my work hours are Over for this week and he could very well just send me a message or add another comment if he has anything to say#but alas he didn't#i honestly am usually quite patient and understanding when it comes to fixing issues but this has been going on forever#and i wouldn't even say anything if it hadn't been for that stupid ass comment on how he wants to talk to [colleague] first. bitch!#(i just mentioned what the main issue was in my own comment btw. i didn't say anything about hurrying or any of the million#passive aggressive things i WANTED to say. very proud of myself for that ♡#had i been with that dude in person i would have killed him on sight)#god things are gonna be so insufferable when my beloved colleague is gone forever ㅠㅠ#he's the only good thing about this fucking company and I'm sure everything's gonna go down in flames#once he's gone#void screams#work stuff
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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hyperspecific agony of the day: Want to Write About The Character, do not actually have anything coherent to say. Want To Read About The Character, but keep getting sidetracked wanting to write more. There is so much in my brain and yet I feel like it’s locked in a room somewhere I cannot find or, perchance, an imaginary rock in my shoe. I should PROBABLY just go to sleep but have you considered: The Character
#also I have a working wip with The Character in it but i’m STUCK ON THAT WIP#because I am having a crisis of writing style wanting to be super poetic like this one ao3 author#but that’s just. not how i write#and forcing it will probably make me worse#god i wish studying a writing style made sense in the way studying an artstyle does#i sent them an ask about how they put together words and metaphors and they actually responded it was super nice and helpful#very appreciated#unfortunately#myself.#so here we are in Inspiration Paralysis#augh. AUGH.#also reading fics about The Character is actually so hard n scary bc fandoms are mean#and seeing people talk in comments about “oh when the character is actually written CORRECTLY#makes me scared i’m one of the people being accused of Doing It Wrong#RSD is terrible and evil and poisons your brain actually#can fandoms just stop talking about ‘people doing things wrong’ as if it’s possible to be wrong about sth imaginary please#i will sleep much better at night thank you
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#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#it’s not clout and it’s not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg#*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice#especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that#ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
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