#write my research paper for me

[onlineasignmentservice]

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[carter-is-a-disaster]

meme redraw cause Dan is thasmin shipper no.1

[crabsnpersimmons]

Sun! Sun! MaKe mE SpRiNg RoLlS PlEaSE

‐hungry anon-

oooh springs rolls sound yum! what kind of spring rolls are your favourite?

[fudgecake-charlie]

shh i'm posting no one tell my professors or the projects im involved in

[gwalch-mei]

gay divorce </3

[mushroomslovesyou]

that's certainly one way to describe him

[pucksandpower]

So … your girl is officially a published researcher!

[raspberryusagi]

Me, rambling to my wife about this crackpot theory I came up with in the shower about how Les Miserables may have been an answer to The Count of Monte Cristo, or at least could be read as such: ... But then Valjean didn't personally screw Javert over like Dantes' enemies did-

My wife: Are you sure Valjean didn't screw Javert? I thought I read that on AO3 once.

[revvethasmythh]

I think something we're sleeping on in the Gale epilogue is that he says he wants to try writing books about our adventures, which directly puts him in competition with Volo, who is also writing about the same adventures

This would--inevitably--devolve into a writer/academic feud for the ages, spreading copious misinformation to the masses as both writers can accurately claim to be primary sources, with wildly different tellings between them. There will be synthesis commentary papers written about both of their works by historians for centuries, and even though Volo's is full of blatant lies it must be considered because he is....well, Volo. and, like, he was verifiably there and involved with everything. there is no world where that is not infuriating to an academic like Gale. Gale will be blowing a gasket for the rest of his life about being in competition with Volo's Tome of Lies. There will be sniping in the footnotes of all his papers at the bard for the rest of his life. Bitter bard vs academic warfare, that's what we're looking at here

[sawtrappedirl]

Do you guys know how embarrassing it was telling my English professor about Re-Animator. This is why I should never get asked what I like unless you are prepared for a conversation as long as the Fitness Gram Pacer Test Audio. I was literally jumping up and down and waving my arms. This is fr why no one takes me seriously. Bro acting like a kid who just got ice cream. I was giggling so much too. Embarrassing. At least she’s a fan now!!

[damallarky]

When you want to write the fluff for the sequel to your AU/Personal Headcanon fic retelling of Veilguard but first you gotta write the AU/Personal Headcanon fic.

[outfoxt]

Another Käärijä Research Project

aka: käärijä style-shifting project

as a preface, here are my (non) qualifications for this project and the circumstances under which it happened:

I am a linguistics student, and this past semester I took a course on sociolinguistics. the goal of this project was to become familiar with the concept of and analyze style-shifting (it's more commonly known as code-switching online but theres a difference and this is style-shifting), specifically by analyzing the speech of one person. We had the option to study oprah or to have someone else approved by my prof, so you know I had to ask my prof if I could study jere. This project is solely my intellectual property; even though I had a tutor help me a lot, everything written in this paper and on this post was my work alone.

now, on to the actual findings! the full paper and transcripts will be linked at the end :D

the actual variables (words or sounds) that I studied were the pronunciation of r, and use of the word "the".

to make things a lot easier from the get-go, i'm going to introduce you all to one of my favorite websites, ipachart.com (the international phonetic alphabet [ipa] chart is a big chart with an entry for every sound that exists in a language. this handy dandy website has an audio recording for each one of those sounds).

go to this website, and then scroll down to the table. go to the column labeled "post alveolar" and then click on ɾ and ɹ. those are the sounds i studied in this paper! ɾ is the finnish r and ɹ is the american r :)

so basically what i did to find instances of my variable was i just looked up a bunch of esc interviews and listened out for use of the different r sounds. i also transcribed the entire dinner date live because i love torture apparently :) the specific interviews and lives/stories are in the bibliography of the paper :p

after i transcribed all the interviews and lives/stories i went through and highlighted every instance of the r sound. then i calculated the ratios of ɾ to ɹ based on the context they were spoken in. the two contexts i looked for were formal contexts (sit-down interviews) and informal contexts (literally anything else).

i found that jere uses ɹ WAY more often in formal contexts than he does in informal contexts, and the same in reverse with ɾ.

i then went back to the transcripts and looked for all instances of the word "the". i also looked for instances where i thought it should be present, but was omitted. i calculated the ratio of present vs omitted "the"s in formal vs informal contexts and made some charts.

the graph with the smaller black section is "use of 'the' in formal settings" and the one with the smaller green section is "use of 'the' in informal settings" (the images are transparent, sorry)

i found that jere uses "the" WAY more often when in formal settings! there were also some instances where he added a "the" where it was unnecessary, which is studied at length in this wonderful paper by @alien-girl-21

something i also noticed that i elected not to study because this paper took enough energy on its own was that in formal contexts, whenever the "or" sound came in the middle or at the end of a word, jere wouldn't pronounce the r. it stuck out to me mostly because i heard words like "performance" turning into "perfomance", which i thought was an interesting quirk.

unfortunately i was somewhat limited by both my brainpower and capacity to do more work on this paper in the relatively short timeframe i was given (2 weeks) and the fact that i was given a 5 page MAX for this paper (not including a bibliography). i had a lot of fun doing this though and am definitely planning on studying jere for for academic credit again in the future if given the chance!

also i would like it to be known that i spent an hour searching for that 5 second clip of the urheilucast where jere said that he used to sell kitchens and understands english better than he can speak it.

link to a google drive folder with the actual paper i wrote and the transcripts of the interviews with notation:

please feel free to send me asks and dms with questions or comments about this paper! i absolutely love rambling about linguistics :3!!

[front-facing-pokemon]

[askmarcille]

Hmm, I should sell potions, But I'll need materials, You'll be my first T st subject, Give me ingredients And I'll Make something for you for free

(Sorry if this sounds creepy or anything)

Wait, a t-test subject?! There better be some consent forms or something to fill out...and you'll need the proper licenses before you just start selling potions!!

*It seems she's understandably nervous about being used as a test subject. She'll want to see some paperwork or something so she knows exactly what she's getting into.*

(ooc: the vibes this ask is giving off is like in Zelda games where the potion sellers are like: "bring me a bottle or this mushroom and I'll make you a potion for free!")

[anonymocha]

state of affairs

[chiropteracupola]

as part of the delightful wonderful @sailorpants' birthday boy king taskmaster extravaganza, I present to you the Most Dramatic Letter Written Home from a Polar Boat Journey Which Is Going Horribly.

Dear Mother, If this letter reaches you well I am not sure how that happened given that all who remain to post this home are penguins & leopard seals & the horrible dr Fred Cook. I am some where near the South pole but I know not where on acct. of the Captain has thrown all our navigational equipment into a crevasse to prevent us turning back. Alas by then we were Three days since our last sight of the ship so we are about lost. After this occurrence the Bosun was set up on [sic] by two of the Meteorologists as [illeg.] the steel legs he had received after the war might be used for compasses. They were disciplined by being thrown into a crevasse by the Captain. The remaining men who had not been drowned frostbitten taken by consumption [illeg.] trampled by ponies got food poisoning ect. mutinied against Capt. & threw him into the crevasse. We regretted this for we found that he had hidden all of the food in his coat. In the next days the horrible dr Fred Cook & I drew lots among the men — we killed and ate the master's mate the cabin boy two ABs & my good friend [illeg.] Thomas who I once fucked in our berth for lack of any otter [sic] companionship. Very much afraid that the horrible dr Fred Cook will eat me next in order to survive as he has been eyeing me in a creepy way of late. Giving this letter to a penguin — shall now walk out into the ice to die — I lay this is a better fate for me than being stabbed with a marlinespike & being eaten raw and warm by the horrible dr Fred Cook. I am yr loving son always, Thomas Thomas Williamson, AB