#‘make another research paper’
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state of affairs
#mochats#my faculty orientation and major orientation gives me assignment#ft class assignments on the side#fuck it all#‘make a cv’#‘make a research paper’#‘make another research paper’#‘print these things’#(i have no printer so i need to go to a printing place)#‘write an 800 word essay’#‘make a presentation and present it tomorrow’#my past self thought uni will be more lax#WRONG
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a great way to combat genAI in the future would be educating kids (and teens and college students and all ppl) on art way more.
#i had art classes growing up but i know a lot of ppl didn't and even less kids get art classes nowadays#we need all kinds of art classes too! music and history and painting and woodshop and drawing and life drawing#i think art history is especially important bc it connects us to our past and shows why art is so important#and all kinds of art classes help kids develop different important skills#like fine motor skills and critical thinking and making choices and noticing details and how to really SEE things rather than just looking#and a lot of art skills like woodworking and ceramics and sewing are all very practical basic adult skills that we should all get to learn#there's reasons arts and crafts and other skill based electives are the first to go and its not just bc they're undervalued#its cause a population that feels capable and confident and skilled and knows how to think critically#is harder to make work shitty jobs for shitty pay#harder to control!#same reason they're banning so many books and trying to make education worse#damn maybe i should learn how to teach better#im already planning to at least try doing a workshop for adults but maybe if i end up liking that#i could work towards being able to teach kids#i feel like teaching kids would be harder cause idk what concepts they do or dont know at whatever age they are#id have to do research and maybe talk to someone who has experience teaching art to kids#but even a simple art class would be beneficial i think#like going outside to draw things in nature maybe#or portrait drawing#or a class on how to make comics or animate on paper to impress their friends lol#i would've loved that!#id have to do that with the help of another teacher maybe#idk#vague future plans#anyway the reason education would help combat ai is cause ppl would learn abt what goes onto making art#all the choices and skills and thought#and they'd be able to more easily see the difference btwn real art and ai images and understand why making art is important
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Friend and I came up with black market academia which is just dark academia but imagined by two people who don’t know what it is, don’t have access to any academic institution archives and need to find some guys on the inside to smuggle out copies of primary sources for us to pass back and forth as needed
#‘hey my dealer can probably hit you up with that WWI journal’ ‘I can see if mine’ll send you a pdf of the letters you need’#I guess it makes research more fun? I guess?#anyways it’s come to what I’ve been dreading#absolutely no public archive or museum has anything I need#frankly an insane number of hoops to jump through to read like 7 (if that) pieces of paper from a son to his mum#thiiiiiiis close to just asking living descendants#sorry this is my white whale#if my next thing doesn’t come up with anything I’m gonna leave it be#I have another passion project that thankfully has basically everything I need in one place. for free. all it costs is an email to set up#an appointment at the archives#sigh#‘ if you are using this material for research please submit your final report/explain in detail what the project is’#girl just. just let me have 30 minutes to speed read#I know it’s about people making copies and selling them etc but. BUT. please?
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also tbh i miss the days of high school when i wouldn't really have to do homework at home bc i was able to just do it at school during the day
#between getting it done just in class and having study hall built into the schedule#and also while the volume of work was smaller it was generally more it was also more like. compartmental if that makes sense#like 'read this one part of the chapter and fill out this worksheet' or 'do problems 1-20 even'#as opposed to like. 'keep working on your research paper all semester between reading 100 pages of articles each week for one class'#idk. i was ridiculously busy in high school. in times of actual work hours it's probably comparable to now#but i had 7 hours of school 2 hours of sport and like 2 or 3 more hours of rehearsal#and then i got to just go home eat shower and sleep#now i gotta like. do laundry. and vacuum. and meal prep#and also read another article for class or write a paper or something#idk i still think grad school is in the long term the right move for me but lord i can't wait to be done#i want to go home at night and be done til the next day again yknow#i wanna talk about me
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mission failed, Thriftbooks got me
but I got The Book of Charlatans AND Mercury Mining and Empire with double point rewards, so who's actually the winner here?
#ISLAMIC GOLDEN AGE CHEMISTRY BOOKKKK#THRILLED. SO READY TO READ THIS.#I really just wanted MME on my shelf and also to support the author. Holy shit they did so much effort for that book and they#deserve my money + the library's money. ahhhhhhh I'm so excited for The Book of Charlatansss.#/giddy jig. I really just want this cool anthropology chemistry library built up over time. <3 It makes me so happy~#I'm unironically considering just adding another thesis to the mix like I don't have enough to do because it just makes me so happy.#Like- doing the chemistry/geology makes me happy. But discussing the chemistry/geology makes me even happier.#Just had the thought that I want to add a bookshelf and it be all non-fiction chemistry/history/geology/anthropology but that's kinda weird#And then remembered I can do whatever I want forever until I die if it's not hurting anybody. I have to make more money to fund my#historic tech addiction. Also I should learn to bind books!!!! if I do that maybe I can do 'reprints' quote on quote of Levey's books#that aren't in print and still put them on my shelf. That would ALSO make me very happy.#I think those are technically in public domain now tbh. Fuck it make my own publishing company for non-fiction#AH I HAVE SO MANY GOALS AND SO LITTLE TIMEEEE#class starts tomorrow and I have a paper I'm supposed to write by the 1st and two presentations by next month and SOMEHOW#I was STILL supposed to EMAIL that PROFESSOR about COCOA.#I don't know him and I'm not scared but I'm weirdly nervous someone is going to steal my research even though that's stupid.#My mother is paranoid about... everything really. But especially 'intellectual thievery' which is an infuriating brainworm.#But this tag rant is not about that!! It's about The Book of Charlatans!! Which I'm going to hold in my hands in 3-6 days!!#ptxt#Al Razi AND book of charlatans!!!
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Was so excited for today’s Orb episode that I hallucinated a whole new one in my dreams last night…
#Badeni also signed Oczy and Jolenta under the research paper and there was a whole sequence of him drawing the illustration on the cover#that was +- inspired by another book cover that I will be digging up#but anyways it was so sweet and after finishing it Jolenta hugged him (they all hugged) and they went drinking??? you know the scene#just. I must be deep into this if my mind is making up such detailed dreams#also it was some mishmash of eraz AU and Jolenta was coming up with so many office equipment improvements and innovations#d0 stuff
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Sat politely ankles crossed hands folded please say you have more thoughts about the DC deweys. Lazarus pit cold-eyed stare pristine and bloodthirsty anyway I would love to hear any further thoughts if you have the time + energy + motivation
how i imagine you waiting for me to re-read the resurrection of ra’s al-ghul and hush vol. 1+2:
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ALRIGHT. in no particular order, thoughts about the dc deweys
connor fits very well into the mold of a talia al-ghul for me; chip on his shoulder, femme fatale, deadly and precise. he’s not the loudest but he’s got a dry wit that’ll cut you!
“why is connor an al-ghul at all and not batman” well first of all he’s already got the water connection, i’m gonna go dip him into the lake a couple hours north of the pas to make him incredibly long-lived, rejuvenated and beautiful
second of all i want him to be a questionable villain/antihero because he looks evil in those pictures but like beautiful evil. you see him at a multi-million dollar soirée and he’s bored of being there wearing his “heritage” beads and jewels he originally had from a thousand years ago. he and his assassins are only here to murder the head of state who’s planning to lay a pipeline through ancestral grounds
rip brandon duhaime i simply cannot imagine you as any kind of batman. lacks the gravitas, too much of a yapper, loves his wife too much. i curse thee to be green arrow if you’re in this narrative at all
assuming connor stays with toronto, would LOVE to think about toronto as one of the sites of the lazarus pit for many reasons
(a brief aside here to say that for me personally this is interesting if connor goes to winnipeg because i think they suit him better, he’s a manitoba boy, but re: the chip on his shoulder, he’s NOT a manitoba boy. he’s from the pas and very proud of it)
a) the amount of ‘toronto is the center of the universe’ hockey creation myths i can play with & birth/rebirth/reincarnation. if you WANT to feel unhinged trying to blend hockey and comics is an ice rink not just a pool of water?
b) mr. cathal kelly i love your works!!! toronto eats its young!!! thinking about this very literally in the sense of the resurrection arc where players come to toronto and are sacrificed, give up their body, their skill, in service of the demon’s head, and lose themselves.
c) we see echos of the same narratives and styles over and over again—if i can hop over to the flyers for a second, there is of course the curse of the *8s (18 richards, 28 claude, 48 danny b, 68 nolan, 88 lindros) but ALSO the danny brière -> tk -> morgan frost celly chain. every generation a resurrection, emerging clean and new from the pit
can you just briefly hold my hand and imagine wayne gretzky as an evil ra’s al-ghul wanting to possess a new body. gretzky i’m sorry to malign you and i know you never played in toronto but you are the best player in my head to fit the idea, i’m open to other suggestions
coming BACK to green arrow dewey (i did not re-watch arrow or re-read those comics sorry) connor could also be black canary, who takes a brief dip into the lazarus pit (toronto) before getting married to oliver. i do like that narrative but because we were talking about pristine and cold-blooded i figured connor dewar head of the league of assassins was more what you were after
now that i’ve gotten through world building… choose your own adventure narratives?
hockey-ish au: connor chosen as a host for the Next One. i think the lineage of the great one -> next one -> next next one -> next one up of gretzky -> crosby -> mcdavid -> bedard is taken, BUT i can imagine that the league of old boys all have the same intentions. connor gets sent to toronto unknowingly being prepped to get body-snatched by ???? and brandon duhaime of course accidentally stumbles on the plot and they have to fight to stop it
connor assassinating people :) snapshot of the head of the league of assassins delegating which major world events they’re going to change today. would love his shark face from the gifset to have blood spattered across it, ideally.
version 1 as head of the league of assassins: brandon is one of his assassins, big strong bodyguard type. devoted to him, would lay down his life, perfectly designed for connor (lady shiva/cassandra cain-ish). connor orders for something to be done and brandon does it there for him then gently wipes the blood off his face and apologizes for being careless and getting him messy.
version 2 as head of the league of assassins: an actual plot where connor aims to assassinate SOMEONE but brandon gets in the way. they meet at odds as their respective roles (hero, leader of a crime syndicate) but are magnetically drawn together as their alter egos. eventually brandon puts together the pieces of the Big Evil and manages to (legally!-ish as much as vigilante-ism can be legal) take it down and the ending panels show a tentative friendship and recognition of potential shared goals
also, jaromir jágr is immortal. don’t know if this is relevant OR related but he is. personal hot spring lazarus pit?
um. thanks for coming to my 1.5k ted talk (including tags). what a way to moritz seider lore drop that i DID grow up a comic book nerd, lmao. thank you so much for enabling me <3 i'll be here all week thinking about which teams would get what rings in a blackest night au
#contrary to popular belief (guy whose brain is like ‘but we already wrote the fic!’ any time they try to write with an actual outline)#[also i know what i said but i CAN write with an outline it just tends to be for y'know. not fic. (research and thesis papers lol)]#i DO actually know how to write up storyboards for comics & could in theory do a story if someone wanted to draw. or do a ‘zine dewey first#meeting comic because i’ve become enamored with the soirée scene i made up. also i want connor emerging dripping wet out of the slime#like it’s a nice wet bath the way they draw comic book girls framed ever-so-carefully to not show anything too provocative#both of those things can exist simultaneously if you want it bad enough. simultaneous mirrored panels of dewey1 fighting crime hours before#the soiree and getting consistent updates that he's going to be late so and so is arriving so and so will be there (OH I HAVE JUST DECIDED#THAT IT WILL BE HOSTED AT HIS ESTATE/CORPORATION DUH) and he's in the process of breaking up a drug deal chasing guys down & then sprinting#back brief shower with the pool of dirt and blood under his feet &slipping into his cufflinks his loosely buttoned shirt tucking his chains#under the collar gel on his hands cologne on his neck & swanning in late but he's precisely on time because he gets there RIGHT when connor#does too because this whole time we see the parallel panels of brandon stepping out of the darkness to reveal the green arrow mask & connor#stepping down iNTO darkness already done covered in blood & scratches the not-sexy but sexy drop of all his clothes where you see the#silhouette of his back (can't tell if i want this to be a direct parallel of brandon getting into the shower OR because what i haven't said#yet is that this is both of them in opposite -> they are simultaneously stripping & re-making themselves somewhat literally for connor but#it's taking OFF the green arrow for brandon to be his “true” self / connor stripping off his title as the demon's head (his “true” self) to#be connor dewar the act of polite high society &the implications in both that we see them taking off one skin and putting another on. which#one is real. brandon thinking duhaime the billionaire playboy is real vs connor thinking the dewar heir is the act&do they switch/challenge#each other throughout the course of their interactions of course) &then lmao the fighting parallel with fighting demons not going insane in#the lazarus pit to the puddle of blood at brandon's feet mirrored in a puddle of soaps/beautiful scented oils in connor's post-pit bath#& flower petals. have i this entire time been imagining connor in a slinky selena kyle-esque backless dress yes BUT we can for the sake of#being normal put him in a crisp beautiful expensive black suit with beaded accents. both of them spritzing cologne brandon & his bracelets#connor and his league of assassins ring ohhhh it would be so good to parallel brandon putting his cufflinks and accessories on with connor#getting dressed & fitted with spy gear. brandon stripping his weapons in the beginning -> connor thigh sheath knifes in garters in the end#&they both meet in one big panel/the title page cover at the top of the stairs & there's some kind of dialogue about being fashionably late#& at all times yes i am inspired by that one photo of brandon in his ridiculous coat with no shirt staring at connor who doesn't know he's#looking. that with this. and in the next set of panels connor wipes off a bit of dirt or blood brandon missed in his quick shower & brandon#in his playboy billionaire persona flirts incessantly with connor but truly is obsessed & wants to know more about what he's the heir to.#WHEN THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT HAPPENS BRANDON GOES TO PROTECT CONNOR BUT CONNOR'S ALREADY GONE/ALREADY SECURED HIM SOMEWHERE SO HE DIDN'T#GET HURT both of them simultaneously trying to protect the other in their “civilian” act. &brandon as green arrow thwarts the assassination#liv in the replies
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I don't know if I'm in the minority on this, but I love writing essays. The feeling of choosing something that seems fun, getting to research it, organizing what you've learned in a neat and tidy way, and now having a random pocket of knowledge that stays with you for the rest of your life is something that I can hardly ever replicate elsewise. Some of my favorite hyperfixations have come from essays and other research projects that I had to do for school (like when I learned about LSD for a biology project on cell communication, or when I wrote a speech on neopronouns for a public speaking class)! And I miss so much having a class where I can just... do what I love, for credit! I haven't had a research class since my first semester and I'm feeling it 😔 One of my friends asked me for advice about choosing a topic and I got so excited at just the mention of a research paper that I started happy stimming hard, lol. I really should just write a paper on my own time, but then I'd need some executives to function for once, *sigh*.
#Atlas on here can verify lol but when I get a project on something I love? I get freakin annoying about it#I have classes that are fun and classes that aren't and I try to balance my semester schedules between them#but because all my Spanish classes are fun I'm not taking another research class until almost when I graduate#I'm *suffering* over here#This is why I wanna do research as a job so I can just make papers all the time#also if literally anyone is interested in my neopronoun speech I formatted the history section into a research paper form#and am ABSOLUTELY willing to share pictures of it (minus my name and stuff of course)#(pleeeeease someone ask I am searching for an excuse to infodump even if my knowledge is a bit rusty)#actually audhd#actually autistic#actually adhd#adhd#autism#college things
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Trying to fix my resume ☝️🤓 Small problem: I sound like a loser no matter what
#not really lol. I have a lot of experience in this field#for someone my age anyway#but like. idk 😭 I wanna get out of journalism I HATE journalism#I’m applying for publishing internships and idk I just wish I had more publishing experience….#a lot of my extracurriculars are music related and idk if I should include them or not#just to fill space ig#bc I have only ever had one singular job#and one other piece of experience as editor in chief#idk maybe I just feel this way bc I’m using Harvard resume templates#and so I’m seeing everything that’s on a Harvard student’s resume 😭 like damn. I hope they’re not applying for this internship..#it’s based in NYC so I doubt I’ll get it? but like? idk how many applicants they get??? hm#there are also lots of different internships with the same company all listed rn so idk#I have until the end of the month to fix this shit hehahah#hopefully my cover letter will better demonstrate my relevance to this position#bc all of my journalism experience feels kinda irrelevant on paper. editing news is VERY different from editing communications research lol#ellyposting#🤓posting#<- kinda. it’s about work not school but I did start doing this (researching internships) for a class#and now I’m kinda invested bc I need an internship in the next year anyway… I could get it over with over the summer#idk. if I get a job this summer I will make a job tag like. jobposting. workposting. perhaps hellposting if it sucks really bad (again 🥲)#that’s why I’m scared of another internship. even though the last one was paid and so is this one… people are straight up abusive to interns#😅😅😅😅😅 AUGH. SCREAMS PUNCHES WALL etc#okay goodnight :3c
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just once i'd like to complete one (1) bigger project that i can actually be proud of
#hrrrrg met with my advisor for my thesis and it's Not Great!!#idk how i always manage to set myself up for failure#struggled so much with thinking of a specific thing to write about so now i have this super broad paper about everything which essentially#amounts to writing about nothing#cuz that's not how history works you can't just make a huge argument like that (at least not without much more extensive research than ive#done)#and im not saying anything novel or interesting anyway#but i already have a whole semester of work dumped into this thing so neither my advisor nor myself wants me to tear it apart and start fro#scratch#there definitely wouldn't be time to do that anyway#so now it's just gonna be yet another thing where i have no confidence in it while working on it and just eke out an end product thats#decent enough to satisfy others while i know inwardly that its really not good#the professor for the capstone class last semester said the paper was good and i was in a good spot to finish it this semester#but this is the first time my actual advisor has really looked at it and hes confirming all of the doubts i had about it :((((#agh itll ultimately be fine i just wish i could do something to justify the 'oh youre such a good student!' im really not!!!!!!!!#i have no idea what i'm doing!!!!!!#p
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Wait! Wait! No! I get it. Okay so. Toe WERE married. They divorced. Because remember she has a song about divorce? Then they got back together. And then he realized she's famous. And she dumped him. Sure. Makes sense.
😌
#the poetic license people are suddenly taking is wild#this is the kind of discussion i would hope would make the research papers#none of this oh look we found that gaylors and anti gaylors use similar tactics as other fandoms to harass one another conclusions#like come on#there are so many more interesting things going on rn
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#I’m a stupid stupid stupid person#last week when I went to Southampton (all curses be upon that place and its horrid uni) I saw in the papers of the amateur historian I was#looking at that he had the exact dates for the opening and closing of one my merchant figure’s account at the Bank of England#the BofE Archives have a really primitive search mechanism#so you have to contact one of the archivists to actually see if they have the material#and because I’m an antisocial nocturnal cave creature (ie a historian) I’d rather die than have to interact with another human#thus I put off emailing them until today when I was in the BL waiting for a request to be fulfilled#and they got back to me a few hours later to say that they do have what I want#and that there are open spots to work there from the 18th of July#which would be great#if I weren’t in Taiwan from the 13th#so I wrote back and explained that I’m traveling/researching/working for the rest of the summer and going back to my PhD program in Sept#the absolute angel of an archivist who I will love for all time told me that there was a cancellation for the 3rd-4th he would give me#and that he would ‘flex’ the 15 documents per day rule so I could look at everything#the 3rd is going to be a mess because I’m coming back from Bulgaria late that morning#but I will somehow get myself from Gatwick to Central London and make it work#(just praying they allow photography)#I guess the life lesson of this extremely long and boring story is that procrastination pays ???#me stuff#not the stones
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whats ur hw let us do it
ajksdfh 😽🤎
#this is so funny to me ty for this#its an essay on analyzing a street artist with the lense of marxism#but im so deeply baked into another paper already- the thought of researching for a completely different subject makes me wanna poke my#eyesssss out
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this presentation isn’t hard I just don’t want to do it 😤 I didn’t get to choose the topic and it’s a thirty minute lecture
#it’s actually a topic I’ve researched before so that helps but#I didn’t get to choose the sources for it my prof did#and I absolutely detest the second paper bc it’s thirty pages of the same damn thing rewritten over and over and over again#I’m lowkey thinking to make the first 20 ish minutes cover the first paper because I have more to say#and then bring the second one in at the end because I hate it and don’t wish to discuss it#grad adventures#I have five ish hours to finish it. should be enough time but I’m still gonna be at work for another 2
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bro i am straight up not having a good time
#sasha speaks#i wanna talk about me#too many emails. can't bring myself to answer any of them#rehearsal and class back to back tonight until 9:15. the only food i can bring w me is some matzo (gross) and pb#we have another debate in class tonight too. i hate them. i'm so bad at talking against a timer. i have too much to say girl#i still have to make my fucking invites for my recital and i still don't even know who my second is for the trio#i have to write still a full draft of my research paper for friday#and my french teacher won't email me back abt our homework#i'm so burntout. i'm so tired. i feel like i can barely get anything done#and the stupid rental co for my new appartment keeps being like 'give me the contact info for your last landlord'#and i've already told them like three times i don't HAVE a previous landlord. i can give you the phone number for the student housing office#but that's it. but they're still emailing me back like 'okay well what is the contact info for your landlord' M8 I DON'T HAVE ONE
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academia is so fucking stupid and i hate working in it. It's so normal to cut folks off from opportunities or deny them the final portion of work so they don't get actual writing/publishing credits...
anyways looking up trades I guess if anyone has recommendations
#this is the same ai rant but y'all I could have two published papers with my name on them and I don't because they replaced me#took the research I did but didn't let me type up the final report so there's no actual credit for the papers being produced#but general credit for the grant (visible only on... the grant)#which is annoying because I feel like new opportunities don't care about the research grant if it doesn't net publishing opportunities#so now I just look like I've wasted years doing other people's research with nothing to show for it#which in fact just looks like I've spent years doing bad research for other people#in reality I've done so much work and literally been fundamental on several projects and papers .... for what?#i'd like to become a hermit tbh and never speak to another academic for my entire life#academic ethics in my institution?! never#the institution will lead you to dead end you and then seal up the hallway behind you#also actively becoming way to disabled for retail work re: standing and a 9-5 schedule so.. things are feeling very bleak!!!!#fox says#fox rant#should I make a fox rant tag? that would be more accurate
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