#and im not saying anything novel or interesting anyway
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just once i'd like to complete one (1) bigger project that i can actually be proud of
#hrrrrg met with my advisor for my thesis and it's Not Great!!#idk how i always manage to set myself up for failure#struggled so much with thinking of a specific thing to write about so now i have this super broad paper about everything which essentially#amounts to writing about nothing#cuz that's not how history works you can't just make a huge argument like that (at least not without much more extensive research than ive#done)#and im not saying anything novel or interesting anyway#but i already have a whole semester of work dumped into this thing so neither my advisor nor myself wants me to tear it apart and start fro#scratch#there definitely wouldn't be time to do that anyway#so now it's just gonna be yet another thing where i have no confidence in it while working on it and just eke out an end product thats#decent enough to satisfy others while i know inwardly that its really not good#the professor for the capstone class last semester said the paper was good and i was in a good spot to finish it this semester#but this is the first time my actual advisor has really looked at it and hes confirming all of the doubts i had about it :((((#agh itll ultimately be fine i just wish i could do something to justify the 'oh youre such a good student!' im really not!!!!!!!!#i have no idea what i'm doing!!!!!!#p
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She wails as though a part of her has died.
oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days
there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy
#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION#i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me#i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it#and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag#are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically.#need more stories like this fr#that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything.#theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the#i did that. i do that.#it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is#uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much#ugh. im unwell. anyways.#dewdles#our wonderland#gidget bordelle#iggy maxwell#genzou#genzou ichihara#cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil.#blood#injury#ask to tag
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feeling a little uhh bad rn
#my sister straight up was basically like 'you talk about ghosts all the time and its so annoying'#like hm.#interesting.#ok i'll never say anything about something i like again.#my family will abide me being obsessed with something for as long as its novel#when its new theyre like aw its so cute she cares about something#but when im months deep and it takes over my brain#then its 'god i wish you would talk about anything else'#and like. yeah i get it.#i totally get it. but im not doing it on purpose#and when you shut me down like that it actually uhhh really fucking hurts#anyway.
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i usually dont comment on these kinds of things because they shouldnt be treated with the level of weird parasocial interest they tend to be on social media generally but. claire (lil tay) was so fucking young. it doesnt take knowing her personally to feel just how jarring and genuinely tragic her sudden death is. like shit. she was only 14. she didnt even get to live her own life. sorry if this is pointless and theres no call to action or anything here but. jesus.
#kibumblabs#cw death#havent looked too deep into it because im still conflicted over it feeling voyeuristic and disrespectful to do so or not but#from what i have heard it seems sketchy re: her brother and idk i dont want to accuse anyone of anything without proper basis especially#when that someone also passed away but. considering his history of controlling behavior over her image and how it put her in some#serious danger at worst - situations a child should not be in at best... if he did have any part in this i. well i dont know.#cant exactly say he needs to see justice considering its a bit late for that but. i dont know#depending on the circumstances one of her parents may need to answer to some neglect charges. but anyway it all feels so trivial when its#already too late.#you know what. what i think i can say for sure is that i hope she's properly remembered and honored for who she actually was and not as#'lil tay the worlds youngest flexer'. a persona her brother made up that put her in dangerous situation for the sake of clout. by no means#is the public entitled to anything but if anything more is put out there in memorium i hope its something#letting the world know who she was as a real teenage girl with her own interests and personality and favorite songs and teenage obsessions#she looked like such a sweet girl. i hope her friends and family who actually knew her are haunted as little as possible by her#bastardized image on the internet. i hope they– as well as anyone else really– can separate that character from the innocent young girl#who actually existed and who's life was cut so. so fucking short.#i know i said i didnt want to comment too much about this but idk man. it really got to me. maybe because its such a novel situation thats#never exactly happened before- the way her image was on in the internet and how this case will inevitably be treated on the internet#how young she was and how little say she had in how she'd be portrayed on line– much less now how she'd be REMEMBERED.#its disturbing. and deeply deeply tragic.#2009. she was born in 2009. fuck. thats just. wrong
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i got vol 1 of the webtoon of transmigrators privilege and ive never read the book form of a webtoon so im like really pleasantly surprised by how they formated the pages and panels
#really interesting#everything flows together really nicely and nothing is really awkwardly cut out#and how yhey overlap panels together and place the soeech bubbles#a really good quality book and art style and its just really nice#they fit 14 whole ass chapters in here and its still a standard sized book#which probably says more about the sizes of the chapters than anything#although im pretty sure manga volumes tend to be four ish chapters plus extras anyways#i dont know what in observing here but i sure am looking#i dont know if the novel has been translated but i really hope it does#they translated tcf they can translate this one#i know the english title is perks of veing an s class heroine but thats long as hell and im more familiar with trnasmigrators privilege#they say the same thing tbh i just like the fan translation more bc its shorter and again im more used to it#anyways#ailette my beloved#i really cant get over the art#like its so good?#its really bouncy and has lots of movement and the use of color is really nice#i havent read the tcf manhwa in a while but while its equally as like hm#detailed? its also not the same#probably bc this one is more colorful and tcf is like. more natural tones with of course fantasy colors when appropriate#idk what im saying rip#michi tag
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i don’t have a review for fellow travellers as a whole but with regards to the AIDS depiction there were 3 moments that mirrored ideas i’ve had for lover boy + have been trying to figure out how to write delicately so watching those parts was a bit like woagh….if anyone gets the privilege of reading those parts of lover boy one day sorry in advance for the heartache i think im about to write something beautiful
#i love seeing things in media and being like how can I do that!!! how can I further that!!#i think more than anything it furthered my want to watch so much more AIDS media which has been the goal for the last year#and to diversify it#that’s all i have to say i don’t think i know enough about the other politics as also im curious about how they condensed a novel into#eight episodes??? so many interesting threads that didn’t get the time#frankie!!!! jerome!!!!! LIKE#my favourite episode was the 70s one i wish we got more of it#anyways#im really starting to think I want to draft lover boy specifically by the end of the year but there’s so much more research I want to do!!!
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you dont actually like sweets or mysteries you just want to seem more like ranpo
omg could you imagine
#I DIDNT EVWN SAY ANYTHING >:£ if you think im like him thats a you problem#its true i actualky hate cookies and my teeth rot and fall out in disgust every time i eat one#and i hate the mystery genre and every time i get a new novel or game i play it or read it out of hated bc i am dumb. didnt you know#anons right pack it up fam.... this is so funny tho do people like? actually?#thats so interesting especially when it comes to characters who hide themselves#like omg... ur changing the way ur perceived so you can be like someone YOU perceive as better....#which the characters also do but they dont see themselves as worthy so they change themselves so even tho ur not like them#in a weird way you are#who.knew kinning could have such complexes! oh wait sorry ig ot distracted again. anyways
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she mumbled that i was peculiar
sukuna x reader summary: impressively, sukuna is still trying to find ways to deny his feelings for you. nevertheless, he keeps you safe from harm when a late night trip to the store doesn't go as planned. will seeing his violent nature for yourself change the way you feel about him? he seems to think so. w/c: 4.2k (oops) tags/warnings: angst to fluff. attempted kidnapping. canon typical violence. depictions of blood. reader throws up. reader is in shock for a bit. cursing. aged up!yuuji. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. *please mind the warnings for this chapter* a/n: i'm sorry this took so long! im ngl, i struggled quite a bit to write this chapter. i'm still unsure about the pacing, but here it is anyway. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy! series masterlist // masterlist
it's not often that you go out for the evening, but tonight is one such occasion. you leave around seven, excited to meet nobara and maki for dinner.
when yuuji falls asleep a few hours later, sukuna doesn't take over right away. he spends a while in his domain, engaging in what some people might call sulking.
before long, however, he begins to feel restless and he tells himself it's because he's grown accustomed to his finite hours of freedom. of course, it has nothing to do with your absence.
so he assumes control of his vessel's body and pulls a short novel from your bookshelf. settling on the couch, his fingertips brush over the cover: the stranger by albert camus
it's the first time he's ever been alone in your apartment, a fact he's well aware of, and his eyes wander to the front door. it'd be all too easy to pull it open, to make his way downstairs and out onto the street.
how long would it last before yuuji regained control? are you nearby? would you get caught up in the havoc he'd doubtlessly wreak?
the thought makes him grimace. returning his focus to the book in his hands, time seems to pass by faster as he makes his way through the pages.
even so, he deems the narrative a bit boring. in his (what's the opposite of humble?) opinion, dead mothers and nagging girlfriends don't make for the most captivating story, so his mind begins to wander once he happens upon the quote:
"so why marry me, then?" she said. i explained to her that it didn't really matter and that if she wanted to, we could get married. besides, she was the one who was doing the asking and all i was saying was yes. then she pointed out that marriage was a serious thing. i said, "no." she stopped talking for a minute and looked at me without saying anything. then she spoke. she just wanted to know if i would have accepted the same proposal from another woman, with whom I was involved in the same way. i said, "sure." then she said she wondered if she loved me, and there was no way i could know about that. after another moment's silence, she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
sukuna thinks about you— the woman who forced her way into his solitude.
although, what if it hadn't been you? what if the brat had been involved with another woman? would he have eventually taken an interest in her too?
are you really that special, or is he just going crazy inside the cage that is itadori yuuji? the latter is much more likely, right?
he supposes he prefers the idea of madness over... feelings for some human.
all of a sudden, your apartment door seems much more inviting. would it be so bad if he were to step through it? what did he really have to lose?
yeah, that's right. he'll get up any second now and act on every horrible impulse he's been repressing. any second now... any second...
he can't quite figure out why he's unable to bring his limbs to move, weighed down by some force that's beyond him.
it's at that moment the door clicks open and for a split second, he thinks it must be his sign to go, but then you come waltzing in.
"'kuna!" you greet in an excited manner, disrupting the peaceful quiet.
kicking off your shoes haphazardly, you make your way over to him and promptly drop yourself into his lap. it elicits a bout of unwelcome clarity for the king of curses.
no, he wouldn't have taken an interest in just anyone, that much becomes obvious. it wasn't through a medium as flawed as chance that he came to... tolerate you. you're much too annoying for that to be the case.
"hello???" you wave your hand in front of his face. "i'm home."
"i can see that."
"welcome home, darling," you say in a deep voice, a poor imitation of him. "i missed you so much— that's what you're supposed to say."
yeah, definitely too annoying.
"but i didn't miss you." one of his hands comes to rest on your thigh, a betrayal of his preceding assertion.
"you're sitting alone reading—" you pause to inspect the book lying open beside him. "existential fiction about a nihilistic frenchman. of course you missed me."
he changes the topic rather swiftly. "you're drunk."
"i'm tipsy, at best." you roll your eyes. "can't i just be happy to see you?"
"you'd be the first."
"i don't mind making history."
you place a kiss on his lips, casual and affectionate in way that makes sukuna's body stiffen, and stand up.
"i need to get ready for bed, then we're gonna watch tv together because i missed you— gosh, see how easy that was?"
you run off to the bathroom and his body doesn't fully relax until he hears the shower turn on.
the thought of missing someone is a strange notion to him, because it implies eagerness and desire. for as long as he cares to remember, those emotions have been reserved for proclivities much more sinister.
so he hadn't missed you. he just would have preferred it if you stayed home. that's all.
when you return to the living room around fifteen minutes later, you're wearing one of yuuji's shirts, and as far as sukuna can tell, very little otherwise.
making yourself comfortable on the floor between his legs, you pass a hair tie behind you. "can you braid my hair?"
he's watched you get ready for bed enough times that he's fairly certain he can manage it. taking the tie from you, he still asks "why can't you do it?"
"because i'm sleepy," you frown, reaching for the tv remote.
gathering your hair in his hands and carefully dividing it into sections, he sighs. "you require so much looking after."
"you're not going to die if you can't have cookies tonight." sukuna states dryly, glancing at the clock that reads eleven o'clock.
"please don't trivialize my struggle," you begin, pulling on your jacket. "i want miso butter cookies— my grandma's secret recipe."
most of what you need can be found in the kitchen, but a trip to the store is in order for a few final ingredients.
"my mistake," he huffs, rising to his feet. "how insensitive of me."
"oh, it's alright. just don't let it happen again."
"sure. i'll keep that in mind, princess." sliding the apartment door's chain lock off the track, he does little to hide the vexation in his tone.
just as he reaches for the handle, you stop him and wrap a scarf around his neck, forcing a hoodie into his hands. "put this on. you'll be cold."
he looks at you as if you're crazy. "i don't have to worry about things as insignificant as the weather."
"well, put it on anyway," you insist.
he decides that acquiescing will be easier than arguing for the next five minutes and slips the hoodie over head. when you both step out into the chilly air of night, there are still a decent number of people traveling the streets.
stopping at a crosswalk the next block over, you begin to prattle on about what you need to pick up and the different steps in your recipe. naturally, you completely miss it when the pedestrian sign turns green.
"come on," sukuna commands, his hand wrapping around your wrist and tugging you along with him. "i don't have all night."
you scoff. "to be fair, i didn't say you had to come with me."
"yeah well it's late. you shouldn't be out alone." there's a hint of exasperation in his voice, like he truly had no choice in the matter.
despite that, once you reach the other side of the street, his fingers slide down your palm and thread through yours.
you glance over at him and find he's looking off to the side, so you bite your lip to suppress your pleased smile. is he avoiding your gaze intentionally? you decide that bashfulness suits him better than you would have expected.
offering him a light squeeze of the hand, you hope it conveys your appreciation of his small display of affection.
"so, are you going to help me make the cookies?"
his lips press into a thin line. "as thrilling as that seems, i don't particularly have a penchant for baking."
"you think you'd humor me a little! you know, since i'm your only friend and all."
"if anyone else asked me such a ridiculous question, they wouldn't live to see tomorrow." you ponder whether he's joking and quickly decide that he isn't. "this is me humoring you."
"you're so mean to me."
"hardly."
"fine," you pout. "then you can't have any!"
"now, hold on." the threat does make him hesitate. you've come to learn that if there's one thing he loves as much as reading, it's food. "let's not be hasty."
you're approaching the store, the sliding doors just a few strides away.
"it's only fair! besides, you're not going to die if you can't have cookies," you throw his earlier words in his face.
he exhales deeply. "have i ever told you how irritating you are?"
"woah! now you're definitely not getting any, mister!"
"alright, alright," he groans as you step inside. "i'll help you bake your stupid cookies."
"perfect!" you exclaim as if you knew he'd give in eventually (you did). "then you can start by finding the miso paste while i get everything else!"
you scamper off before he can tell you not to order him around like some common servant. he's never even been grocery shopping, how the hell is he supposed to find anything in here?
wandering the aisles, he stews over how domestic this is. for god's sake— the king of curses, shopping for ingredients and making baked goods. what have you reduced him to?
just as he considers giving up, he spots the item he's looking for and grabs it so aggressively that it knocks a few packets of instant miso soup to the floor. wrinkling his nose in distaste for the entire experience, he sets off looking for you, though his efforts are to no avail.
he wonders where the hell you could have gone off to when a flickering light catches his eye, filling him with a strange sort of unease.
it's emanating from a narrow hallway tucked away in the back corner of the store. at the very edge of the hall, a phone with a familiar case is lying on the floor, the screen shattered.
his blood runs cold, a sensation that is fully unknown to him, and the miso paste slips from his fingers. he appears in the hallway the very next second and the sight that greets him ignites a furious hostility in the center of his being— heavy and consuming.
you're struggling against one man as he drags you out of the backdoor and into an alley. another man is holding the door open, urging his partner to hurry up.
the hand over your mouth keeps you from yelling, but you're unsure you would have been able to make a sound regardless.
one second you're cast into darkness, and the next, the light seems blinding. the flashing is unceasing and it makes your head hurt.
two limbs are wrapped around your torso, keeping you firmly in place, and your arms are trapped at your sides. you might be kicking your legs, but they may just be dragging along too. you really can't be sure.
there's a thrum of a heartbeat at your back. it's pace is unforgiving, the intensity mirroring that of your own. you've a vague concern that your heart may very well beat right out of your chest.
then there's an abrupt shift in the air and a sickening crack echoes through out the night. crumpling onto the concrete, you think it must have started raining before you realize that the droplets on your face are warm.
you wipe at your cheek and your fingers stain crimson, the color matching that of an increasingly large puddle seeping across the pavement beside you.
there's a heap lying a few feet away and you recognize that it's wearing clothes. it's a sight you struggle to make sense of.
needing to focus on something else, your eyes find sukuna and the expression he's wearing is fierce and unreserved. "tell me what you wanted with her."
you've never heard him speak in such a way. his tone is low, his cadence nothing short of threatening.
"s-s'kuna?" your own voice sounds foreign to you and it goes unheard by him.
he has your attacker pressed against the brick wall of the alley, both hands wrapped around his throat. he's too livid to realize the pressure on his windpipe is preventing him from answering.
sukuna throws him to the other side of the alleyway out of frustration, the man rolling onto his back and wheezing to appease his lungs.
"tell me!" sukuna commands again, louder this time. less collected.
the man scrambles away from his looming figure. "th-they sent us, told us they needed her for an important matter."
"who?"
"they'll kill me if i tell you—"
sukuna crouches down, laughing dryly. "and what do you suppose i'm going to do?"
his eyes are almost unrecognizable to you. they're frenzied— a few shades deeper than the scarlet you've grown so fond of.
"you'll k-kill me either way, so at least i'll die with honor—"
"tch. useless." sukuna waves his hand, and you can hardly comprehend what happens right in front of you.
neat red lines appear across the man's body, then it ruptures into nothing at all. the only evidence that he was ever there in the first place is his blood.
the stench of which is perhaps the worst part— intense, coppery, and hot. it makes your eyes water, and before you know it, you're hunched over and emptying the contents of your stomach onto the ground.
sukuna is at your side in an instant, pulling your hair away from your face, but while one of your hands is braced against the concrete, the other endeavors to push him away.
his body doesn't budge at the contact, but he takes a step back anyway in an attempt to respect your wishes.
your mind is a mess filled with racing thoughts— what the fuck? this cannot be happening. what the hell even happened in this first place? that man was there and then he wasn't.
inhaling sharply, you wipe at your mouth and shift to pull your knees to your chest.
"what..." you trail off, surveying the unutterable, incomprehensible scene before you. "what did you do?"
he doesn't respond, though his features noticeably soften. somewhere in the back of your mind, you know very well what he did, but you can't help repeating. "what did you do?"
"we need to leave." it's not that sukuna couldn't handle whoever might show up, but seeing as this is your reaction, he has no desire to. "if you let me touch you, i can take us home."
you take a moment to think about it, then nod wordlessly. as soon as his hand falls on your shoulder, you're met with that same sensation you felt the night gojo teleported you and yuuji home after one too many drinks.
though this time, the sick feeling in your stomach isn't caused by liquor. you don't stand up, you don't so much as move a muscle when you feel the surface beneath you shift from concrete to carpet.
sukuna breathes out your name, his uncertainty evidenced by the way he's shoved his hands into his pockets. meeting his eye, you reiterate the same inquiry once more. "what did you do?"
it's almost as if you want him to tell you that he didn't do anything. that the whole experience was some disturbing nightmare.
"those men would have hurt you."
"that doesn't mean they deserved to die." you choke on the final word.
"yes— it does."
with that, silence hangs in the air like a suffocating miasma.
looking to your hands, you're reminded of the blood you've been spattered with. "i need to wash up."
you still don't move from your spot, too fixated on your flesh and the dreadful hue that it's been painted with. sukuna notices now that you're trembling.
he approaches you hesitantly before extending his hand. "let me help you."
you decline his offer, shying away from him. "i think you've done enough already."
god, the look in your eye is utterly despondent. he struggles to swallow the lump that forms in his throat.
his arm falls limply to his side and he looks across the room, your copy of the stranger earning his attention.
he's overcome with chagrin when he realizes that his concern brought about by camus' quote the other night was wholly misguided. he'd been focused on his own feelings, whether they were genuine or simply wrought by his isolation.
how foolish was he to ever question what you truly mean to him? with the anguish that's settled in his chest at the sight of your current state, the fact he ever doubted it makes him feel like a hopeless idiot.
had he any sense at all, the part that resonated with him would have been—
she mumbled that i was peculiar, that that was probably why she loved me but that one day i might disgust her for the same reason.
disgust. is that what you're feeling now? he's certain it is.
it was just last week that he relayed the story of his past. you're the only person alive to know the truth of how his wickedness came to be, and you met him with unconditional sympathy and understanding.
you pulled him close and embraced him, but now that you've seen him for what he truly is...? you can barely stand to touch him and it's like a knife to his heart.
you're so fucking warm— like the sun against his skin after weeks of endless rain.
and if you're the sun, surely he is the moon— cold and barren on his own, but brilliant when in the presence of your light.
to be without that? to be without you? it's a prospect too terrible for him to bear. it makes his stomach twist miserably.
you're startled (as is he) when his form falls to the floor, his knees meeting the carpet with a dull thud. he calls out your name again, but this time, his voice cracks as he speaks. "please."
he doesn't have a clue what he's even asking for. a chance to explain? forgiveness? a way to turn back time?
you don't say anything, but you do shift your gaze to him. he knows that he needs to fix this, so he wracks his mind for the right words.
"i didn't enjoy killing those men." he's somewhat surprised to find he's telling the truth.
"you didn't?" your voice is so small and timid that he can hardly decipher your words.
"no. my only concern was to keep you safe— to make sure they never put their hands on you ever again. all i felt was rage and... and... guilt. i should have never left you alone and it's my fault—"
"stop," you interrupt him.
there are tears welling in your eyes, making it difficult for sukuna to breathe. he's positive you're going to tell him that his intentions were of little consequence and that you never want to see him ever again.
instead, you push yourself forward and collapse against his body, your own wracked with violent sobs. the reality of the situation is only just now hitting you. it'd been much easier to focus on what sukuna had done, rather than what almost happened to you.
"i was so scared, 'kuna."
and still, despite the way you're clinging to his shirt and burying your face in chest, he's under the impression that it's him you were afraid of.
"i'm sorry," he tells you earnestly. "i never meant to frighten you."
"n-not of you. those men." you're struggling to speak in between desperate gasps. "why did they do that? what did they want with me?"
"i don't know." though, he is going to find out.
sukuna is not a man well versed in comfort, so he's not entirely sure why he begins rocking you back and forth, but he does it anyway.
when you finally start to breathe a little easier, he mumbles into your hair, "come on. let's get you cleaned up."
he doesn't give you a chance to respond before he scoops you up in his arms and carries you to the bathroom. setting you down on the counter gently, he searches the linen closet for a cloth.
it's quiet, save for your intermittent sniffling, as he runs it under warm water and wrings it out. his free hand moves to rest against the side of your neck and he dabs at the blood on your face, rinsing the washcloth every now and then.
he tries his best not to show it, but sukuna is agonizing over what might be going through your mind.
do you still feel safe with him? have your feelings changed? do you still love him, even when you've been so harshly reminded what he's capable of?
when you speak for the first time your words are hoarse, barely above a whisper. "thank you for saving me, sukuna."
he thinks about telling you not to thank him, not when it shouldn't have happened in the first place. he left your side, an error in judgement he'll never forgive himself for.
he considers your mortality— your weakness— in relation to his feelings for you. he's always seen this exceptionally human quality as despicable.
but now? all it does is terrify him.
"in the past, i was only concerned with my own whims and desires." his hand moves to cradle your face, his thumb running over your cheekbone. "though after tonight... you have to know..."
it's clear that he's struggling. his eyebrows draw together and his mouth twitches as he ponders his next words.
"i care about you, angel." his voice is hushed when he adds, "very much."
your eyes widen briefly and you murmur his name, but your mind is still reeling from the events of the past twenty minutes and you can't think of anything more to say. you're emotionally exhausted in a way you would have never thought possible.
it's plain to him too, so he knows his next question is selfish, but he can't go on without knowing. "does what you saw tonight change things between us?"
the silence preceding your answer seems to stretch on forever.
"i thought it would," you confess eventually. it was as if you'd put up a wall in your mind separating sukuna the king of curses from sukuna the man you spend your evenings with.
and it's difficult to reconcile the fact that the hands you saw used to murder two men are the same hands that are caressing your face so delicately.
at some point, however, you realized that the only time you felt fear tonight was when you were without him. his arrival and ensuing actions inspired shock and apprehension, though in some twisted way, you knew it meant you were safe. "but it doesn't."
the next question tumbles from your lips thoughtlessly. "does that make me a bad person?"
he chuckles and some of the tension in the room dissipates. "i think i'm the last one on earth that can pass moral judgement on you."
he tucks your hair behind your ear and scans your face, relief coursing through his body when he sees you smile. in this moment, there isn't anything else in the world he would have asked for.
"i guess you're right."
and now, the hand over your mouth is your own, an attempt to stifle your tired giggles. the light of the bathroom is warm and steady. sukuna's hands rest atop your hips, his touch firm but comforting. while you can't feel your own heartbeat, you're positive it must be beating in time with his.
when you crawl into bed that night sukuna pulls you close, your back pressed to his bare chest. you're thankful for the softness of his demeanor, because you need it tonight more than ever.
he doesn't recede to his domain until yuuji wakes up the following morning. he's determined to keep an eye on you as you sleep, to watch the slow rise and fall of your chest with newfound gratitude.
he knows he needs to speak with the brat about what happened. someone is after you and while he hates to admit it, he knows he can't ensure your safety alone.
and he will keep you safe, no matter the cost.
taglist: @96jnie @ay0nha @sad-darksoul @bbysatoruuu @luciiferian @risuola @lirasmoon @disaster-rose @archivist-ghoul606 @creative1writings @sloppyzengarden @omismicrowave @cecesharktales @tanyeonn @hiqhkey @ruixrei @yellowsubiesdance @thefallofruins @anything-and-everything-here69 @emzalot @elusivemoon @annoyingstrawberryballoon @miabiar @hyeon-yi @iluv-ace @thepup356 @browneyedgirl22 @lantsovheiress // users in bold could not be tagged. if i forgot to tag anyone, my apologies!! just give me a heads up.
#m!writes#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna imagines#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna imagines
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Woo, it’s about time I made one of these… *cracks knuckles*
MORE ABOUT ME!!!!
HIIII!!!! My name is clegfly, or just cleg!!!! I’m an artist/ writer / professional paint drying critic/j. I’m just a silly girl doing silly things, don’t mind me. I use she/her pronouns and I am aroace!!!
LIKES
BULLET POINTS BULLET POINTS BULLET POI
Pancakes. All day. All the time. Everywhere, anywhere. Pancakes
That goes for bacon too
JELLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!1!1!1!
Why are these all foods what else do I like uhhhh
Warm. And cosy bed. And fire. And all that stuff
OLD COMPUTER AESTHETIC!!!!!! N64!!! WINDOWS XP!!!! ALL THAT SHIT
Bugs in theory
PLANTS
MUSICAL THEATRE
Graphic novels
Video games… ough my beloveds
Books
Okay now this is too long
Oops
Sorry
JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH
The ocean full stop actually
In theory
CHINCHILLAS
Uh
Yapping
Analysis
DISLIKES
anything on my DNI >:((((
Bugs in practice
Sport
Exercise
I’m literally hero omori
Commitment
Stress
Internet drama
Anyone who gatekeeps like. Anything.
INTERESTS???
All day every day, baby.
MAINS
OMORI- main interest as apparent by one peek at my blog… The brainrot is immeasurable and everlasting. Send help. It’s been almost four years. I love this game, its characters, story, EVERYTHING so fucking much. I’m like a billion pounds in debt to it also. I will be homeless but at least I will have my big ass heromari collection.
PMMM/ Madoka Magica- my favourite show! Consisting purely of sparkles and sunshine!!!! Why are you crying??? I’m sure not!!!!
DDLC/ Doki Doki Literature Club- another favourite of mine!!! I see a well-written cast of characters I deeply relate to go through extreme horrific horror beyond any of their comprehensions and I’m SOLD!!!
Coraline- the horrors are all consuming, but at least it’s both a visual and extremely well-written treat!!!!
TADC/ the amazing digital circus- won’t lie, watched this show when the pilot dropped and LOVED it, but forgot about it after a while as it didn’t stick with me. Then episode three came out and I’m now reduced to a blubbering mess whose brain is now significantly comprised of two fictional chess pieces. What happened? I don’t know. Send even more help.
LITTLE GUYS THAT HURT MY BRAIN SOMETIMES
Petscop
Fnaf
BATIM/ bendy and the ink machine
BSD
Deltarune
Undertale
Hawaii: Part II
SUBJECT TO CHANGE BECAUSE IM PROBABLY FORGETTING LIKE 20 AND ALSO HAVE LIKE 20 STILL TO DISCOVER
HOBBIES?!2!2!
Ya!!!! :D
Art
The main thing I do on my silly little page!!
…in which the art is mostly unfinished doodles… but that’s okay!!!! We ball anyway
YOU CAN SEND THE CLEG REQUESTS!!!!! ALL DAY ANY DAY UNLESS I SAY OTHERWISE!!!! Do not expect premium quality though lmao. (And also nothing related to DNI. Shouldn’t have to say this but. Uh. Yeah)
You cannot yet commission the cleg :(
Writing
Currently on a writing hiatus and have been for a little while (5 MONRHS WHAT) but… i do!!!! That!!!! Aka I write fan fiction AGH
Mostly. Heromari stuff. Actually all heromari stuff. I think I have one fic that isn’t heromari and it’s one I co-authored I love them your honour…
Yeah
DNI
Bit of a bummer, but I gotta set my boundaries to keep the weirdos out!! That being said, do NOT interact with my blog whatsoever if you:
Are a shotacon, lolicon, proshipper, pedo, etc etc etc. (yucky. Yuck yuck yuck. Fuck off)
Are homophobic
Are transphobic
Are aphobic/ arophobic (why. Why are you even still here)
Queerphobic in general actually get OUT!!!!
Actively shit on any of my main interests. Like ACTIVELY go out of your way to tell me how bad it is (what. What is the point. Just go)
POST ANY NSFW FULL STOP!!!!!!! (I am EXTREMELY sex repulsed and have been especially lately, I will block you on SIGHT)
Are racists/ xenophobes
There is likely LOTS more I’m forgetting so I will update this later… also just saying I reserve the right to block ANYONE no matter if you fit into this criteria or not. If I don’t vibe with you I will politely block you and look the other way!!! No theatrics required
Anyway with all the negative stuff out of the way… I really hope you enjoy my blog!!! I’m just here to have fun honestly and express my ideas and passions and work on a little page of the internet so!!!! Hope you have fun too!!!! :D
#omori#omori au#heromari#intro#introduction#intro post#pmmm#puella magi madoka magica#madoka magica#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tadc#the amazing digital circus#petscop#fnaf#batik#bsd#deltarune#undertale#hawaii part ii#art#writing#fanfiction#omori fanfiction#dni#little heromari shipper box is by omori-archive btw
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hmm im curious. whats olba about :0?
Oh anon you have no idea of what you just asked-- let me get my teacher costume
AHEM
OLBA or Our Life: Beginnings & Always it's a visual novel where you can play the perfect life you never got and cry about how much you wanted it after you finish it :DD (available on Steam for pc and Itch.io for both pc/mac and android!)
You play as-- well, you (or not, you choose)! You can choose your name, last name, pronouns, appearance, personality, hobbies, everything except your family, but you wouldn't like to change them for anything after you meet them.
You start the game as an innocent 8 years old kid that meets a random guy that tells you that he just moved across the street, he also tells you about his son: Cove! who has the same age as you. This guy tries to bribe you with 20 dollars, you can accept or refuse (or run! i like that option), either way you end up in a poppy hill behind your house and find the so famous Cove! He tells (cry) you that his parents just divorced and that he miss his mom ( :c ), you can comfort him or not, but you two still will be found by both of your families and have to go home.
That's the prologue! Gameplay aspect: it consists in 3 Steps of your life: 8, 13 and 18 years old! Each Step comes with 5 Moments, where you can spend time with (mainly) cove, if you're playing the base game. Talking about base game! You can complete it in around 5 hours (that's what took me the first time i think), and it comes with a 4th Step that work as an epilogue!
There are 6 paid DLC's (and a free one that is a name pack), 3 are other 15 moments for the first 3 Steps, 1 is a wedding dlc for our lovely Cove <3 (we'll get to him in no time), and the last 2 are extra content for two characters you'll meet in your very first playthough: Derek in Step 2 and Baxter in Step 3 (you should know this one very well if you follow me lmao), each with 5 moments extra for their assigned Step and their own Step 4 where you can follow and give proper closure to their stories!
I'll try to not ramble a lot because it's something you just need to experience yourself to get it but-- i will introduce you to the love interests! (or friendship interests, you don't need to crush on anyone to have a great time)
Cove Holden! Our lovely neighbor that we see almost everyday for like 10 years! You could also call him the second main character after you, since you learn more about him and his family during all the game. He's an introvert and ocean nerd (in the cutest way possible), depending on your choices you can shape his personality/style and become best buddies, the sweetest couple or just remain neighbours that never really got along. (you'll learn to love him, platonic or not, trust me)
Another perk of the game is that no matter what you do there's not "wrong or right" (unless you feel bad for the characters, like me), your actions does have consequences but there's nothing like a "bad ending/good ending", after all it's just your life, it goes on no matter what! Unless you want to reach a specific scene you found online you'll never have to use a guide for anything.
Derek Suarez! A caring guy! mabye a little too much, he's the oldest brother of 3 and that shaped him in a way that he always feels responsible of everything😔. During his storyline you'll help him to learn how to relax and lean on other people :D!
Baxter Ward! A monochromatic gentleman, mischievous as a cat and emotionally repressed like a pressure cooker <3. Struggles a lot with making deep conections and being emotionally vulnerable, you can imagine about what goes his storyline lol.
He's my favorite, if you haven't noticed. He has that infuriating charm that only someone that unironically says "Hallelujah" has. A very dramatic route, he's a very dramatic guy, you should see how he texts in step 3 aghsdas.
Also! all the side characters are super likeable, from your family to the baker of that bakery that is metioned a few times!
ANYWAYS, in conclusion: this is a very relaxing game! If you like visual novels you should definitely give it a try, the amount of replayability this game has is insane. My recommendations for when you play are:
Try the base game first! If you like it you can buy the moments dlcs (theyre only 3$ each!), mabye the wedding dlc after that (if you want to marry cove that is, this one is 2$ btw), Derek's dlc and Baxter's dlc (5$ each) for last. Those are pretty much the release order but i that's also the order i enjoy the most!
(play this game at least 2 times trying different choices/personality, the differences are ughhhh/pos)
When you're playing for the first time you should play the moments left to right. On later playthroughs you should change the order to find new dialogues! theyre small things but omg theyre so fun
Have fun! do whatever you want, i literally said there's no bad or good ending, take advantage of it and be as foward or shy as you want, be a little shit or a literal angel! That is your life we're talking about.
#rui thinks loudly#just left 2 hours and half of my back's hp in this post#totally worth it#our life: beginnings & always#our life#olba#cove holden#derek suarez#baxter ward#gb patch#gb patch games#visual novel#honestly if there's anything i can do to make more people play olba i'll do it bc this thing literally healing#im full of love for this game bitch
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previous years: 2022, 2021 / list of worst sf/f/horror
the bangers were BANGING this year, I kept mentally readjusting my top 5 list every time I read something good so the honorable mentions are extremely honorable this year. I hope you read anything that sounds good from this list and tell me about it!
top 5:
chain gang all stars by nana kwame adjei-brenyah: when I say that this book is like the hunger games for adults, I’m not making a glib comparison between two books about fighting to the death, I’m saying that I haven’t felt so intensely about a book since I stayed up late to tear through the hunger games and sob about it when I was thirteen. this book is satire as real and devastating as I’ve ever read, with action scenes that feel like they’re being dripped directly into my hindbrain and a unique and believable love story. put it on hold at your library literally RIGHT now.
the actual star by monica byrne: about a post-climate catastrophe utopian society built around a religion started by a teenage girl in 2012 based on mayan traditions, and also about the teenage girl, and also about the maya. this book made me crazy because the future society felt real enough to touch, with its radical openness and collectivity solving problems that exist today but causing new ones that are totally novel and meaty and interesting to dig into. read it if you’re interested in different ways of being.
the spear cuts through water by simon jiménez: really, REALLY good, fresh, original epic fantasy. jimenez picks a few perspectives to stick to but hops fluidly into bystanders’ brains to give you their perspectives, so even background characters feel fleshed-out and no one’s pain is dismissed as a side effect of heroic battles or whatever. highly recommended if you like framing narratives and stories about stories, and like epic fantasy but wish it wasn’t mostly about finding acceptable enemies to slaughter with cool swords
the dispossessed by ursula k. le guin: I love how much this book is about hope as clear-eyed commitment to the boring and difficult work of a brighter and necessary future. sometimes the work of the glorious anarcho-communist revolution is leaving your university post and romantic partner for months at a time to dig irrigation ditches so nobody starves when there’s a drought. read this book for diplomatic conniving, a clash of values between a capitalist planet and its dissident moon, and hope.
imperial radch trilogy and its spinoffs by ann leckie: what if you were built to be a weapon of the empire, a serene sentient battleship with thousands of human bodies all containing your consciousness, and you lost all bodies but one and had to figure out how to be a person, singular and alone? what if you were a 19th century british military officer and you slept for a thousand years into the decline of the empire? what if you were grown in a vat to be a facsimile of human and then told off for eating all your siblings even though eating them was SO interesting? what then. leckie’s prose is incisive and funny, her unreliable narrators are wonderful, and her stories are intimate even though the backdrops are insanely huge. 👍.
honorable mentions:
house of leaves by mark z. danielewski: guys? anyone hearda this one? anyway. Something Is Wrong With This House horror with themes of storytelling and grief. recommending that you slam this book as fast as possible like I did so you can hold all its layers in your head at once.
the lathe of heaven by ursula k le guin: i thought I didn’t like ursula k le guin, and then I read this book, went OH and immediately devoured the hainish cycle. im so sorry miss ursula. this book about a hapless pacific northwesterner whose therapist is making him dream different realities into being is so sharp and sly and funny. themes of choices, ends and means.
he who drowned the world by shelley parker-chan: I liked the prequel to this addition to the radiant emperor duology. I LOVED this book. parker-chan has invented new and exciting modes of fucked-up codependency and im obsessed. historical light-fantasy with themes of ideals vs what it takes to reach them, gender, and regret.
babel by r. f. kuang: found the didacticism of this book annoying, but i really loved the concept of this novel and the way it slowly ratchets up the stakes. this novel is for people who want to smash the fun of the magic school genre against the reality of universities’ complicity in the imperial machine.
piranesi by susannah clarke: im late to this book but it’s such a weird little gem. peaceful yet unsettling. a man takes care of an endless house with an ocean inside it until he realizes the house is stealing his memories. themes of memory and devotion.
hell follows with us by andrew joseph white: I can only read YA these days if it’s a reread or if it’s genuinely good and really really strange. this is that. weird gory fantasy about a trans teen who escapes his militarized post-apocalyptic christian cult and finds himself turning into something Different. my only gripe is that he uses 2023-perfect language to describe transness and I think he should be inventing genders weve never even thought of. such is YA.
some desperate glory by emily tesch: a rolickin’ good space opera time with terrible women <3. a thriller about how the golden child of her isolated human-supremacist space station cult deprograms and the consequences of it. this feels like a grown-up SPOP until the theoretical physics gets involved. big fan
the library of mount char by scott hawkins: this book is harrow the ninth in suburbia until it becomes a more macabre version of the absurdity of the gomens apocalypse. God raises his children, sometimes brutally, to hone their powers in a neighborhood that mysteriously keeps out outsiders. came for the dysfunctional mess of the god-children and now I can never look at a grill the same way
runners up:
bunny by mona awad: books that make you WISH you were in mona awad’s MFA program where she must have been having a terrible time. the weird one out in an MFA program accepts overtures into the unbearable rich-girls’ clique to find out what they’re Up To. themes of aimlessness and the intersection of class with the art world
camp damascus by chuck tingle: have you ever wished that you were simply too autistic to be successfully demonically brainwashed into not having gay thoughts? horror-flavored thriller that was just fun
light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki: this author put a bunch of genres in a blender and came up with something fun and surprisingly cozy. an immortal woman must sell violinists’ souls to the devil in exchange for their fame, or he’ll drag her to damnation instead. there might be aliens and coffeeshop romance involved. definitely a blender.
the fragile threads of power by v. e. schwab: if you haven’t read a darker shade of magic and you like tightly paced high fantasy and historical fantasy elements, political intrigue, and pirates, read that first. if you have, there’s more now! lila bard are you free on thursday when I am free
the library of the dead & our lady of mysterious ailments by t. l. huchu: a teenage girl provides for her family in soft-apocalypse magic edinburgh with a job carrying messages from ghosts to their living relatives. an ongoing mystery series about the intrigues she uncovers among the dead.
severance by ling ma: this books is on the list of media that is the terror to me: it's about an apocalyptic disease that makes people reenact their routines mindlessly until they collapse. intimate apocalypse novel with themes of late capitalist malaise.
ocean’s echo by everina maxwell: i didn't really like winter's orbit because i'm just not a romance guy, but this second novel stands alone and the romance is more insane and less of the entire point of the novel. (also it's between essentially Discworld's Carrot and Moist Von Lipwig, which is. really something.) in the Space Military, a buttoned-up mind controller must pretend to bend a socialite with illegal mind-reading powers to his will. what if fake relationship but the relationship they have to fake is "brain linked master/servant pair."
the murderbot diaries by martha wells: novellas about a misanthropic security android who jailbroke itself in order to watch tv. the name "murderbot" is a joke but it very much did kill people <3 themes of paranoia and outsiderhood, corporate wrongdoing, repentance, and trust
black water sister by zen cho: zen cho is good at any kind of fantasy she writes, including this, her first modern fantasy novel. a closeted lesbian has to move in with her family in malaysia after college in the US, only to discover that her dead grandmother has some unfinished business involving a local goddess and a conniving real estate developer. themes of family, gender, and place.
the way inn by will wiles: a man who’s paid to pretend he’s other people to attend conferences in their place gets trapped in an endless Marriott. has the sharp humor of a colson whitehead corporate satire until it becomes more straightforwardly horror-flavored.
#yearly book roundup#reading tag#my posts#it was a good year for my like. ideological and political development and im so serious that some of these books helped almost as much as#the nonfiction i read#reading about totally different and new ways of structuring society and morality are an antidote against knee-jerk reactionary thinking#like. 'life doesnt work like that' okay but what if we could make life work like that? what would it take? why does life work like THIS now#you know. anyway stream the dispossessed and the actual star especially
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is jgy different in the books than in the untamed? sorry if u haven’t read them im kind of just assuming u have even tho i haven’t lol but i was wondering if his characterization has any major differences like how wwx in novel vs untamed they sort of sanitize him and take away any culpability and honestly some of his edge. just curious if there’s any major differences in his characterization between the two
I'm not the best person to answer because I've only read the first two volumes of MDZS. Short answer: Yes, he is different, and in fact gets the reverse of WWX's treatment: Drama JGY is more overtly villainous than Novel JGY. However, IMO it's a little more complicated than that!
(Novel enjoyers, please chime in if I'm forgetting or misrepresenting anything.)
A lot of JGY fans greatly prefer the novel and feel that The Untamed did him dirty, because a lot of the show's plot changes that make WWX look better make JGY look worse. Jin Zixuan's death is the most glaring one: in the novel, WWX really does lose control of WN because he overestimates his abilities, and it's a tragic accident. JGY and SMS's implied involvement in the Massacre at Nightless City also doesn't happen in the novel; that, too, was a devastated WWX wreaking havoc and/or losing control. The novel also establishes that JGY is subject to abuse within Jinlintai, so there's an element of duress that one can read into his actions under JGS. Novel NMJ behaves more aggressively towards JGY than he does in the show, so his murder doesn't have the same tinge of malice. (The novel timeline also has JGY and LXC meeting before JGY and NMJ, all during Sunshot, so there's that.) Additionally, the novel tells us that JGY is genuinely a very good leader once he's Chief Cultivator and has implemented policies that have improved the lives of regular people and contributed to political stability. We're also told more about his childhood and his love for his mother, and we learn that his relationship with QS is a tragic love story (he doesn't know they're related until after she's pregnant) rather than something he went through with anyway. So in the novel, he's got a lot of positive things going for him that censorship didn't allow to carry over into the show for fear of having too much moral ambiguity.
HOWEVER!!!
The thing about the novel (and why I don't vibe with it as much) is that it's very much WWX's story, whereas The Untamed spends wayyyyy more time with its supporting cast. You might've noticed that I said the word "told" a lot in the above paragraph, because... well, that's what happens. We're told things about JGY, but we don't see him as much, especially since the novel is focused on the post-timeskip era with the stuff in the past coming through non-linear flashbacks. You don't get to see Meng Yao being Just A Little Guy very much before he becomes the Kitten Thinks About Nothing But Murder All Day meme. Now, you also don't hear dramatic music telegraphing HEY!!! HEY!! VILLAINY IS AFOOT!! HEY!!! every time JGY does literally anything, but you do have everything filtered through WWX's unreliable narrator monologue, and he is out there saying some truly wild shit. (You also get less Xiyao. Like, it's there if you want it to be, but The Untamed really went all-in on that.)
For me, the show works better, because I am a sucker for corruption arcs where you see glimpses of the character before they start the atrocities. Seeing him be Just A Little Guy making the saddest meow meow faces when people were mean to him kept me from totally losing sympathy for/interest in him once things start getting squicky, because I had evidence that he wasn't always like that. Meanwhile, JGY's first big scene in the novel is the confrontation with QS (which already makes my skin crawl and is somehow WORSE in novel form), and I was just like "wow, this guy sucks" even though I knew the story and all the extenuating circumstances already. For others, the novel works better, because "first impressions and society's opinion are unreliable" is a major theme, so the reverse reveal combined with the fact that he demonstrably tries to improve people's lives as a leader is less expected and more satisfying.
So yeah! JGY is different, but the ways in which he is different are due to storytelling methods as well as to plot changes!
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my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.
ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.
so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.
a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.
izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...
and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.
one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)
i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀
another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.
he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying
in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい?」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me
i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭
OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.
first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.
???
ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that
(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)
oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.
1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな?」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.
i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.
'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.
this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀
does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day
if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.
this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...
speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.
i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)
when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.
i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much
#my media literacy suddenly skyrockets when it comes to izaya#anything else im like zzzzzzzzzz as soon as its time to talik abt izaya im like I'M UP !!!! 💯💯💯💯#but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing#sorry if i sound stupid in some spots im trying not to just add 20 skull emojis or crying emojis and make fun of him#it's either that or im trying not to sexualize him#it's a battle. it's prety hard.#theres a REALLY easy joke i could make there but im not going to . im gonna be mature .#ok sorry thats all i dont have enough energy to think anymroe#i started new meds today and my heartds feeling a little funny so imight die after posting this</3#mine
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thinking about. yoohankim body swap......
mild novel spoilers ahead but no big story moments or anything just. brief mentions of skills they get later and such
okay so weve got 2 options here, right (well technically theres 6 ways to arrange 3 objects but. if we assume each of them swaps into someone else. theres 2). first one. kdj -> yjh, yjh -> hsy, hsy -> kdj. right off the bat - extremely funny. kdj in yjhs body having the time of his life (i am the protagonist!!), but also adjusts fairly quickly bc like. hes done this before. hsy in kdjs body is a menace. immediately rummaging through his pockets. everyone is unsettled by unreadable normalguy kdj making hsys evil little gremlin expressions. and yjh in hsys body is like. immediately getting bullied because his menacing aura does not work at all in hsys 5 foot frame. kdj-as-yjh is picking him up by the scruff of the neck and all he can do is glare murderously
second arrangement. kdj -> hsy, hsy -> yjh, yjh -> kdj. i think i like this one less but lets see. yjh as kdj is pretty good, i think yjh would be disgruntled no matter who he swaps bodies with but since the 2 of them are on such even footing in the narrative, i think actually spending time in kdjs weak pathetic body would make him lose some respect for him lmfao. like "what have you been doing all this time that your body is in such poor shape. pathetic." hsy as yjh is extremely salty about how op he is. muttering about cliches under her breath. definitely uses her new power to relentlessly bully kdj (omg wait that means hsys body is getting harassed by yjhs body in both scenarios..... what can i say. shes the perfect size to be bothered. the only reason she isnt bothered more in canon is because of her sharp teeth - i stand by this). kdj as hsy is. unremarkable i think. loudly complains about how much shorter he is now just to piss her off. finds an unholy amount of candy in her pockets and publicly shames her about it until she points yjhs sword at him and he shuts up real quick.
honestly i think both of these scenarios have great potential for physical comedy though. they all have such different mannerisms and such different appearances that reshuffling them is always gonna be striking. i need to draw it.....
okay lets talk logistics. do they keep all their skills or do the skills stay with the body? they probably keep them, although it might be more interesting to have like. physical skills like swordfighting and whatnot stay with the body. so if they get stuck like that for a while and end up fighting in each others bodies they kinda have to adapt to the bodies skills and fighting style. could be fun! hmmm that kinda leaves whoevers in kdjs body in the lurch though, since all his skills are mental..... and then kdj has a massive advantage, because surely the bookmark skill gets a boost if hes literally in the body of the person hes copying. so perhaps they keep all their skills - hsys avatar skill in yjhs protagonist body would be pretty op. and yjh has so many skills that he could make anything work - he might end up ripping kdjs body to shreds though lmfao. also im not sure if we get much of kdj using hsy as a bookmark in the novel? i actually dont remember an instance of it, although i can see him wanting to steal predictive plagiarism so it may have happened and i just forgot. but anyway kdj as hsy using bookmark + avatar, and then hsy as yjh also using avatar is an INSANE combo. two man army. and then theres kdjs body there like *struggling to hold up a sword* "i am yoo joonghyuk......" *passes out* LMAO sorry kdj i know youre not that pathetic its just so funny to imagine the protagonists sheer power literally destroying your fragile salaryman body from the inside out.
omg also. if the swap lasts more than a few minutes theyre DEFINITELY getting their weapons and coats back from their bodies. black coat hsy...... wait omg. okay i know kdjs coat is like a high grade magic item that changes size with him. not sure if yjhs is the same but allow me for a moment - yjh-as-hsy trying to look menacing (already failing) but his coat is way too big. its dragging on the floor. the sleeves cover his hands. 😭😭😭😭 its so ridiculous...... other notable combos - white coat hsy (head in hands). hsy-as-yjh gets yjhs coat stolen from her which means the protagonist physique is on full display - she makes a comment about how WoS should have made more use of this kind of fanservice and now she and kdj are arguing. black coat kdj..... i am yoo joonghyuk......
okay i think thats all i got for now. i hope its in character because i really havent read orv in a while..... anyway i think this has a lot of potential so i wanna try drawing it - maybe ill have more thoughts on specific character interactions once i can like,, put personalities to faces lmao
#to be clear im picturing this as a random scenario (as in. scenario in the orv sense) somewhere in the middle of the novel#god i love the orv worldbuilding its so good for fanfiction#literally built-in mechanics for 'hey the fans want to see the characters in this kind of situation'#anyway yeah. im sure theres bodyswap fanfic out there but i wanted to sort out my first thoughts about it before i open ao3 lmfao#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yoohankim#body swap#brb drawing it#biggie tumbles
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tgcf=bad writing (based on that reblog THIS ISNT HATE IM JUST GENUINELY CURIOUS I REALLY LOVE U)
Allow me to elaborate! It's my favorite book so I say this with all the love in my heart for the story and characters, but--
She needed an editor: there are large sections of the book that could have been cut without changing the plot. Like Hua Cheng trying on different outfits during the Brocade Immortal arc... I know fans like this scene, but it's obvious word-padding that doesn't contribute to the story or even contribute anything significant to Hualian's relationship development. See also the endless chapters leading up to Mount Tonglu. Bloated cast and characters not contributing anything significant (why were Banyue and Pei Xiu there except to address the fact that MXTX forgot about them after book 1???) and honestly, there's a lot of boring filler around this point in the novel. Reduce and cut.
Another thing that needed editing: loose ends not being tied up. The Brocade Immortal arc is a disaster, difficult to follow, and has no lasting impact besides Ling Wen being in jail for maybe two pages. It's never explained who created Cuocuo and why and Mu Qing's involvement is handwaved even though his explanation doesn't make sense. Xie Lian puts Banyue in a jar and forgets about her for an entire arc.
The descriptions are severely lacking compared to other danmei novels. I'm not a fan of 2ha but I'm reading it anyway because I love the way the author describes the scenery, the food, the clothes, the architecture... Thousand Autumns also has some of the most beautiful passages describing the cultivation techniques. I'm sure some of this has to do with the translation teams, but TGCF also doesn't really give much to work with? The descriptions of the Ghost City are good, but the rest of the book is just kind of like. "Xie Lian was in a room. He looked around and there was a table." versus other writers who are giving us sentences like "The celadon tea set gave an aroma of jasmine where it sat on top of the mahogany table and when he picked up the teacup, it was cool against his palm." Good descriptive writing engages five senses and I don't feel that TGCF does that successfully. What do we know about heaven except that the palaces are golden?
Anyway, what she does do successfully is making an interesting world with memorable characters, even if most of them don't get the attention they deserve, and she's great with dialogue and humor. Plus the romance is good; it's not rushed and it's believable that Hualian like each other (which you'd think would be a given in romance novels, but some of the ones I've been reading lately don't bother to establish that lmao).
tldr version: too many words that aren't giving us the right info :,I
#anonymous#i love tgcf i really really do but it is a flawed child#my criticisms would decrease by 50% if she gave fx a backstory#jk but like. it's symptomatic of bigger problems yknow?
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may i ask why you hate mapleshade? like is it more of a fandom thing/author thing or do you just not like her character? sorry if thats a weird question lol
i think the idea behind her character is cool but the erins are the erins and they fucked it up imo. also the way the fandom treats any discussion about her and other characters in her book is so annoying i cannot stand going into the mapleshade tag on tumblr
which is a shame cause like i said, i really like the concept of her character and i feel like it had alot of potentional
not a weird question, i get it. i gotta start by saying i have no ill will against people who like mapleshade or even like the points i'm about to say. btw! sorry this is long i got really into it
starting chronologically (according to canon, not publication)(publication order is: all ivypool darkforest books (2011 and prev) crookeds promise (2011), great battle (last hope 2012, she permadies here) and maples vengeance (2015)
i actually really liked mapleshade's vengeance, all things considered. it comes last in the mapleshade storyline according to publication date, and up until then we really didn't know much about her, and i believe this is where she gets a personality other than "random DF lady" and "rude ghost villain". the erins are not good writers by any means, but i felt that mapleshade's internal monologue and the way she saw the world was genuinely pretty decent. they portrayed her as obsessive and manipulative and as an unreliable narrator. it was one of the first books i read upon returning to the fandom in 2018 and it was a thrill to read, because i hadn't been spoiled on it.
the erins have a habit of writing surprise/accidental pregnancies as plot points, which has the implication of like… flings/one night stands. it's best not to think about it. it's pretty obvious upfront that appledusk is not as in to her as she is in to him, but she doesn't see it. she talks about him in her narrations as a sweet and loving man and talks about their family and future together, but when we the readers finally see him, he's calloused and doesn't really care about her. i think she even sees him with reedshine at a gathering and gets mad before she thinks "oh he's just doing that so no one gets suspicious" (not quoting or anything, i havent read the novel since 2018) girl. their relationship was obviously just a fling to him, but to her they were in love. i liked the way this was written as opposed to all the other times in warriors weve seen a man have a hissy fit because a girl rejected him. (ashfur is the glaring example but also crowfeather, brambleclaw) her denial and refusal to accept what she was seeing (that she was the side piece) was the interesting part.
she has her children and then ravenwing spills the beans. why on earth would he do that? why would it benefit the clan or anyone? from a logistical standpoint, thunderclan lost 3 potential new warriors and mapleshade never implied she was going to riverclan. anyway, he didn't even have proof. he just assumed. i think he rightfully got what was coming for him, since if he would have kept his mouth shut, 7 cats including himself wouldn't have died. sorry mini rant i don't like him. anyway we know the rest of the story. kits die, maple kills ravenwing for telling her secret, she kills frecklewish for not helping (no, she couldn't have jumped in to save the kits without probably dying herself but she COULD have stood up for maple in thunderclan, and she was upstream so she could have yelled out and warned maple of the flood but im NOT getting into that and i dont care) and then she goes to kill reedshine but kills appledusk instead. did he deserve it? he was kinda a dick but mapleshade was like stalker-obsessed with him (i think she uses the phrase "my appledusk" in her narration but i might be wrong) after what was ostensibly a one night stand. perchpaw wounds mapleshade to the point where once she flees the scene, she dies of blood loss. cool
the story of a mothers love (and a mother's loss) is an age-old tale. in a franchise where all female characters are doomed to become boring cookie-cutter mothers, this loss and violent rage was awesome.
everyone told me to read crookedstar's promise, because it was the best super edition. i.. do not agree with that. tbh i thought it was long and boring and went nowhere. crookedstar suffered many tragedies in his life, and he lost everyone he loved, and then the book suddenly ends with him going "im ok (:" and dying. (i was reading a pdf and not a physical copy so it was VERY abrupt for me. i legit sat there like.. so that's it? i read 500+ pages for that?) i can't really blame mapleshade for this (since shes not real) but it does factor in. her idea of revenge against appledusk was to torture an injured baby? who then grew up and had no idea who the fuck appledusk was? why not raise him and give him the love he craved so that when the time came, he would be more likely to do her bidding?? her motives here make no sense. not super important. anyway.
and then she's seen occasionally in the dark forest and she tries to drown ivypaw for no reason once. idk she was obviously just a background character in these scenes (since they came first) but the fans saw a female in the dark forest and were like. thank god a woman. can you blame them. then the erins built her up from that.
anyway mapleshade has this generations long story of manipulating younger cats, and a POV book where she's obviously obsessive, controlling, stalkerish and chooses brutally uncommon violence as a way to get back at those who wrong her. (she unburies ravenwing's body so crows can eat it, and she uses adders to kill frecklewish, despite the fact the snakes could easily go for her.) she puts HERSELF in danger to do these things because she's impulsive, she justifies all her actions to herself by saying its revenge for her children and in the end, she pushes the last remnants of the kittens she thinks she's fighting for away. this is a cool story about a woman who's pushed to the edge and takes everyone down with her. for ONCE its not a man with deadwifepain.
and what does the fandom do
they girlbossify her. they fight over if she's in the wrong or not (she is. she killed people.) they take everything about her that made her compelling and turn her into "grr my husband cheated on me and me kids are dead. sad." she gets turned into the most basic, boring, cookie cutter "evil" lady. she kills people for fun and not because she had a reason to or a goal (in her mind). she suffers the most tragic kind of loss that there is and gets no time to grieve before she is run out of her home, and her reaction to this is pure RAGE, and the fandom turns her into this boring, slay QUEEN!!! (not the pregnant cat kind), always been evil, always been hardcore, ~So CrAzY~, "my eyeliner is sharp to stab men" girlboss. where's the nuance. where's the passion!!? she's a miserable, impulsive, manipulating failure. she blames others for her mistakes and bad judgment and punishes others for her shortfallings. she can't be vulnerable and broken, she can only cry because dead kids and then kill evil husband and evil husbands wife. she's even sometimes portrayed as like "boss" of the dark forest, wrangling all the men. barf.
so to answer your question, it's the general fandom* portrayal that i hate, but i honestly wouldn't trust the erins with her at this point. (the erins are influenced by their fans, for example (old person voice) back in my day, firestar and scourge being brothers was just a fan theory.) i'm glad they permakilled her in the great battle so they cant bring her back to ruin anything. actually thinking about her to write this out and reflect on why i don't like her made me sympathize for her. i like text mapleshade with a little bit of fanon sprinkled in for flavor.
and hey. usually when the fandom adopts a character, they're right. the fandom likes to get really in to random bg/side characters and give them lives they would never have in canon. but sadly (or not, depending on your opinion), when those get popular and breach containment, they spread everywhere and suddenly people think this IS canon. look at how many of us thought that brambleclaw killed hawkfrost directly after he killed hollyleaf, because that was the easy way to portray the great battle in MAPs, only to have someone point out, years after this has become the common sequence of events, that brambleclaw actually hunts him down, brings him back to camp, and then murders him POW style!!!
*btw. im in no way saying that all mapleshade-based projects or aus or whatever are bad, even if she is sexy girlboss in them. some of my favorite maps portray her like that.
anyway. TLDR:
everyone say "i'm sorry mapleshade"
#mapleshade#sorry this is long and if i got facts incorrect i dont really care#apologize to mapleshade for what weve done
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