#(just praying they allow photography)

[waugh-bao]

*

[neofelis----nebulosa]

Somehow managed to get good hummingbird photos today so that’s a win

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

I really love your romantic yan posts!! I was wondering if you could do a romantic comic Peter Parker?? I’m really curious from the snippets you’ve written!

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒…

!!! GN reader, clinginess, obsessive behavior, mentions of loss, Peter’s photography being used in a not so cute way, stalking, pushover yandere, and if I say submissive— (gets shot), brief mention of self-harm, quick mention of cutting off fingers, masochistic Peter, man child behaviors, breaking and entering, he likes to watch you sleep.

MY SWEET BABY BOY PETER, LET’S GO.

So, first off, bro is very clingy. And not just in the physical sense; he’s the type of guy who needs to know where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, the whole nine yards. Expect thousands of calls and texts throughout the day, each one sounding more and more desperate depending on how long he’s left unanswered. He’s not above pulling up your location on Life360 and swinging across the city to check on you. Yes, he’s absolutely in tears when he sees you. Yes, he’ll accidentally cause a scene. If you don’t want everyone around you to stare at you weirdly as you try to comfort a sobbing, overgrown man-child, I suggest you constantly check your phone.

I think it’s safe to say that his clingy behaviors spawn from his severe anxiety. After losing his parents and Uncle Ben, he’s always felt like the people in his life aren’t permanent. Couple that with who all he’s lost as Spider-Man (such as Gwen, depending on what run you fuck with), and he’s basically on the verge of a nuclear melt down 24/7. He’s already lost so much… he can’t lose you, too. He just can’t. He can’t lose you, and he doesn’t want to think about what it would be like to lose you, but— god, his brain just torments him with the what-if’s, and there he goes thinking about it again. Poor guy is stuck in this mental cycle and seriously needs to talk to a professional (among other things).

Anyways. Second thing on the list is how obsessive he is. Kind of a natural progression off of his clinginess and anxiety, ya know? He’s already thinking about you all of the time, so let’s get his obsessive behaviors out of the way. We’ve already briefly discussed his Polaroid photos in the red flags ask, but let’s expand upon it a bit! I think this developed from his desperation to always look at you. Depending on how developed your relationship is (or if you even know him to begin with), he unfortunately can’t afford to always be around you. While he’ll definitely try his damn hardest, stalking you from afar can only do so much. So! What’s the best alternative? Photos, of course!

(Bro has these photos everywhere around his apartment. On his walls, over his bed, in his nightstand, taped to his mirror… I think he’d even go as far as to have a framed picture on his table so he can feel like he’s eating with you!! Romantic, amiright? Of course, this makes having guests over hella dangerous, as it’s kind of hard to explain why even his kitchen cabinets have Polaroids of this random person taped inside of them.)

He cannot go anywhere without feeling like you’re with him somehow. I’ve mentioned before that every jacket he owns has at least one photo of you stuffed in the pockets, but did I mention his Spider suit also has a Polaroid or two? Yeah… he’s got a little pocket in his glove so he can lovingly stare at your face while he’s on patrol. Should any criminal get their hands on this photo during a scuffle… y’all better pray for them. No one’s allowed to touch you, even if it’s just a still photo.

I’ve also mentioned how he’s definitely a pushover yandere, so let’s get into that a bit! To put it bluntly, Peter basically worships the ground you walk on. You’re just so perfect to him, to the point where you could do no wrong in his eyes. This could be a major benefit, as he’s willing to do anything for you. Bystanders will think it’s kind of cute — he’s just a lovesick puppy, after all — but if you’re aware of even a fraction of how fucked he is, then it’s actually flat-out concerning. Want him to harm himself? Done. Beat up your next door neighbor? He’ll do it during patrol. Cut off his fingers and put them in his fridge? Sure thing, babe! He is absolutely whipped for you, and finding out just how far he’ll go is… interesting.

This also means he lets you treat him like absolute shit. You could yell at him, punch him, push him down the stairs, and he’d still stare at you with that same obsessive grin. However, the only caveat to this is that he wants at least some kind of affection afterwards. Oh, you broke his arm in two places and shattered his elbow? That’s okay. He’ll heal eventually. Now it’s time for cuddles and kisses!

… And if I say he’s lowkey kinda into being pushed around— (loud gun shot SFX; I am now profusely bleeding from my shoulder because the CIA is trying to silence me on my masochist Peter headcanons.)

Say, speaking of getting shot, here’s something some of y’all are gonna hate: Peter would love his darling to take on some parental attributes. Probably something that manifested due to childhood trauma. He just wants someone to take care of him like his mom or dad would’ve, you know? Comb his hair, make him lunch, hold him close and hum to him after a particular bad day… just moments of sweetness that make him feel safe. This would be especially jarring if you like to abuse him, but hey, we’re all about weird dynamics on this blog.

Actually, you know what? Let’s circle back to the stalking thing again. I just thought of something. Whenever Peter has the time, he 100% sneaks into your home and watches you go about your day. Does it sound like there’s heavy breathing coming from above you? That wasn’t your imagination; that was your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man stuck to the ceiling, practically drooling at how close he is to you. He loves to hang over your bed at night, and if he gets tired? He can either sleep under your bed or make a tiny nest in your closet. Or, if he’s feeling particularly bold, slip under your sheets so he can sleep right next to you, aww!!

All of the yandere stuff aside, Peter actually makes an okay lover. He likes to get you flowers, take you on romantic picnic dates, and make you breakfast in bed. He’s very sweet and endearing in his own way, and may even charm you into a relationship naturally (no need for any more para-social interaction, yay). It’s just that he’s really bad at respecting boundaries. And has a habit of stalking you. And has no sense of self-respect. And is kind of a man child. Honestly, a lot of this might be treatable with enough therapy, but I don’t know, y’all. I think that train has long left the station.

[no-idea-where-i-am-lost]

NAHHH I DON'T WANNA GO HOMEEEEEE TvT

Basically I have been travelling since Tuesday, and today is finally the day I'm returning back to Mumbai. So, me and my family had come for a short trip to Delhi and one day to Agra, and it was so mesmerizing!! My mom was so elated when she could finally catch a glimpse of her childhood place, i.e, East of Kailash in Delhi! :D

These days were so fun, istg. I went inside Qutb Minar (and yeah, ofc Chand Sifarish was going on in my mind), Red Fort (Diwan-i-aam had the place where the Emperor sat and addressed his people, yk, an elevated area like we can see in the movie Jodhaa Akbar, his aasan was kept down so that we could have a glimpse of it, it was made out of marble. Entry wasn't allowed inside Diwan-i-khaas, but the intricate designs and carvings of marble there would just keep anyone wondering how the people of that time had such amazing skills when technology wasn't available, and yes, the most amazing part is, EVERYTHING WAS FREAKING HAND-MADE!!!!), Lotus temple (it's beautiful from the outside, but there wasn't really anything to explore inside since it's just a huge prayer room where people came to meditate and pray). We caught glimpses of the India Gate, Rajpath, Rashtrapati Bhawan, Supreme Court, and ofc, a posche area like Connaught Place couldn't be missed!! We explored well-known market places like Karol Bagh, Lajpat Nagar and Sarojini Market.

Now coming to Agra. Our travelling time from Delhi to Agra was around 3.5 hours as we travelled through the expressway. Visited the grand Taj Mahal that day itself, and that sight took over my heart! It looks even more beautiful in reality than it does in pictures! Got to know a lot about the place, the designs which were made of gemstones, visited Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal's tombs inside (photography inside wasn't allowed), and so much more which I can't really explain in detail via this post. The next day, we went to Agra Fort, which covered about 3 km in area (yes it's that huge). Only 25% of the Fort is open for public, the rest of 75% has been occupied by the Indian Army, but just the 25% of the Fort really told us about the history of the Mughals. Mehtaab Bagh, where Shah Jahan wanted to build a black Taj Mahal for him, was visible from the Agra Fort. Building Taj Mahal required 60% of their wealth, and the leftover could not have been used to build another Taj Mahal, hence it could not be completed, and today, we can only see the platform which could be built only.

Fact - their security measures were insane. The front side of the Fort had huge gorges where crocodiles and Gharials were kept. There was also a small area of dense trees having wild animals ahead the gorge. So that means, any intruder who came inside would be instantly killed by these animals. Wild! These animals were kept hungry the whole night and given food in the morning intentionally so that they remain vigilant, hungry and ferocious the whole night in case anyone tries to enter and attack.

Yep, the days went like this!!

😄😄😁😁

[landhoe-norris]

here are all twelve fics and one art that the wonderful participants of the winter break fic exchange in the carlando server made and posted.

i want to thank @boohowdy and @ruffboisebvettel for helping me with the planning and execution of this, for the cheerleading and for always being available for anyone who had any questions.

huge thanks to everyone who participated. thank you for putting your hearts and souls into your work; thank you for always being there for each other, and thank you for allowing us to share in your multitude of talents and creativity. you are all amazing people, and the carlando server is lucky to have you all.

*

watch this space, I'm open to falling from grace by tiredtiredsharl (@wolfiemcwolferson)

Summary: Lando is used to not seeing the people who live in the building. He comes and goes at odd hours and he uses the laundry room on his days off in the middle of the day and he checks his mail at 3:30 in the morning, so it’s more weird to him that he runs into Carlos twice in a five day period. He had started to think that he maybe made it up - got dosed at the bar or had a vivid dream about a man who was every single fantasy he’s ever had - tall and broad and hair and hands and lips.

Someone new moves into 4B and nothing is as it seems.

*

are you a future or a fairytale – am i naive or is this real by Missha (Mishtique) (@mish-tique)

Summary: It takes Lando a few semesters before he finally settles for studying photography at an international university. He hopes that this is the time when he finally settles and turns out to be happy studying – his parents just pray that he won’t change his mind again. They want him to settle down, find a nice person and become stable.

He just wants to be happy and live his own life without having people trying to micromanage it.

His sudden decision to also rent a room on campus comes with a surprise in the form of a Spanish, older, and-blessed-with-visuals-shaped-by-the-gods Alpha.

Carlos Sainz Jr is both the best and the worst thing that could happen to him during his first year in uni. Especially when the alpha keeps walking in on him wearing his, his – pretty clothes.

Or: 5 times Carlos catches Lando with something special + 1 time Lando wears something special for Carlos.

*

i love you forever, not maybe (you’re my one true love) by csjr (@boohowdy)

Summary: Lando is starting to suspect that off-camera, he’s quite the soft and gentle guy. What did he say once in an interview? He protects love? I’d love to be protected, Lando thinks.

or: the one where Lando is a student, Carlos is a F1 driver, and they go through a lot before they get their happy ending

*

Twin Flame by Phebes (@phebess)

Summary: 98% of people know exactly when they've met their soulmate. 2% do not.

or: the soulmate slow burn that nobody asked for

*

All The World Wondered 🔒 by biscuitydenim

Summary: Crimean War AU

*

Pull Everything to Pieces by kolyarostov (@landinrris)

Summary: Daniel’s here because he left classified documents on a train for someone to find (and find them they did). Max is here because he was in charge of tailing a suspect who was dealing illegal firearms and lost track of them (and thus the guns that were eventually found at the scenes of various crimes). Pierre’s here because he royally fucked up a diplomatic meeting with the French ambassador (Carlos thinks it was probably accidental nudes). Carlos is pretty sure Nico’s here because no one actually likes him. What he doesn’t truly know is why Lando’s here— but it can’t be good.

Or: Carlos gets sent to the bottom of the MI5 ladder after a training fiasco, and he'll do anything to make up for it.

*

That’s what happens in the movies, anyways 🔒 by Belzebubcat (@waddlingpenguin)

Summary: Lando isn’t sure what he expects. Maybe he thought Carlos would kiss him or- or say it back. That’s what happens in the movies, anyways. He leans in, eyes on Carlos and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Carlos doesn't respond.

There are no fireworks.

No string quartet playing in the background.

It’s nothing like what happens in the movies.

*

Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer (With You) 🔒 by Toasted_Teacake (@the-toasted-teacake)

Summary: Carlos invites Lando to spend a few days at the Sainz villa under the guise of golf. Lando thinks he might finally be ready to fall.

*

it's the heart that really matters in the end 🔒 by LucysFault (@ruffboisebvettel)

Summary: So here Lando is, completing one step of the journey alongside his son, and a family somewhere out there are on the same path but just starting out. It’s like Candyland in his mind. They’re moving over the finish line while the other family have just had their piece placed on the board.

Or, Lando and Carlos meet in a hospital cafe, Daniel and Charles are their kids, and some springs are worth waiting for.

*

Impractical Magic by goldenboygate (@goldenboygate)

Summary: Charles and Lando were born into a family where falling in love means you end up dead. They take different paths in life, Charles wanting nothing more in life than to feel the exhilaration love brings, and Lando too afraid to ever put himself out there.

When Charles gets into trouble with one of his boyfriends, Lando must figure out how to help him while trying his best not to fall in love with the one man who can take his life apart, Detective Carlos Sainz.

*

Take My Breath Away by kabutocat (@foo1ishheart554)

Summary: Art. Lando and Carlos as Maverick and Iceman from the original Top Gun.

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take my sweater with the loose threads by sadcornyfuck (@enjoythebutterflies)

Summary: Carlos is a patient man, waiting his entire life for a moment like this.

*

Te amo - I love you 🔒 by NamarieCarlando (@jolandax13)

Summary: Carlos and Lando are roommates. And in love. They just don’t know the other feels the same. But when Landos suppressants run out and he goes into heat, their feelings are finally revealed.

[wanderingmind867]

I really didn't like dealing with the food photography in class today, so I think i'm going to have to shamefully admit to something: i'm kind of praying for school to be cancelled tomorrow. I don't want to have to take photos at school with food. I don't care if it is stale food, it's still food. And me and food at school... it's not something i ever want to deal with. So i just really hated this assignment, and now i'm praying for school to be cancelled tomorrow. If it isn't cancelled, I'll still go. But i'm allowed my dreams when i'm uncomfortable.

[waitmyturtles]

I've been trying to hold on as much as possible during today's busy work schedule and managing this HELLA cold I have, but I can't help but YELP a few words about the Cherry Magic Thailand trailer that released earlier today!

(If you're a longtime reader of this space, you will know that, besides being a Bad Buddy girlie, I am VERY MUCH A CHERRY MAGIC GIRLIE, here, go read some stuff I wrote!)

As opposed to my wibbles about GMMTV's Kieta Hatsukoi/My Love Mix-Up adaptation -- I am onboard with TayNew as KaranAchi/KurosawaAdachi. I think, I think?! -- that they can level up to the camp that Machida Keita and Akaso Eiji delivered in the Japanese version.

Will it be fair to compare?! This is going to become an ongoing question as GMMTV adapts more material from Japan. For myself: I don't think I can help but to compare these properties to their original Japanese versions. I admit that I have nostalgia, and I'll do my best to be critically objective to the show itself -- while remaining aware of where the material comes from. (I didn't watch Enchanté, but I know of its reputation, and I will admit that I have some jibbles about Film Pawis being an AD on CMT.)

But all that being said: I still have not seen GeminiFourth in My School President yet. And I have spent a LOT of time with TayNew as I watched Dark Blue Kiss, and their preceding Kiss/Kiss Me Again/Our Skyy x Kiss work for my Old GMMTV Challenge project. I saw how they improved drastically with a different kind of script in DBK, and I think, and have hope, that they can rise to the challenge of adapting a beloved work in Cherry Magic. And: New did show off comedic chops in The Warp Effect.

I loved their yelpy inner monologues in the trailer. And I happen to really appreciate that the show actually has a couple of Japanese elements! I did a head-turn when I heard "san juu" at the start of the trailer, HA, and I love that the guys are shown in a sento:

So I feel like there's something interesting going on here, more than just a straight-from-the-page adaptation. If there's some cultural experimentation and mixing between Thailand and Japan? I'll be all over it.

AND: Yu Toyota, the mangaka behind the original Cherry Magic manga, is fully onboard with the adaptation.

(It's so cute how TayNew rendered in photography what Yu Toyota drew to make the original announcement of the show last year 😭)

ANYWAY! Again, I'm just yelping in the cuteness. I hope the show's good! I PRAY THE SHOW WILL BE GOOD. My nostalgia for the original Cherry Magic, which I watched right around this time last year as I was beginning my journey into more Asian BLs, will live on with me for a long time. I like that GMMTV put its vets into this experiment. For their sake, and for the girlies, I hope it works. (And I'm not watching Cooking Crush, to allow me room to fit this into a busy December of shows. The payoff better be worth it!)

[jenyifer]

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul— ah fuck I’m thinking about Daddy Dan and not in a sexy way. Allow me to be unhinged about this. First short rant about HR. Second my absolute off the rails theory about this man. Is he really a goodie two shoes about Boston? Has Daddy Dan been stalking our stalker?

It is wild to me Dan is making Nick work these crazy hours in what appears to be an open office. NO ONE ELSE SAID SHIT ABOUT WORKING THE INTERN LIKE THIS? How legit is this company? Dan coming to Nick’s work unannounced I’m assuming since Nick’s dad is there to pressure him into working more. Seriously? Dan is the fucking worst I don’t care if you think he’s sweet no excuse to treat your intern this way. Nick isn’t completely blind to this though. He responds with “you’ve allowed me to fulfill my dream” ALSO DONT FUCK SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN SITTING IN AN OFFICE CHAIR ALL DAY ON A TABLE NICK NEEDS A MASSAGE AND THERAPY.

Okay moving on… let’s… go… unhinged… has dan been stalking Nick? Call back to episode 3 there is a user named Studd_Star that I think is Dan. Maybe he follows nick cause he was his friend or more likely Dan used his own computer sleuthing skills to follow nick and he uses a false name and icon to be anonymous online because that’s what we techie peeps do. The posts are oddly… pointed.

Now we know dan has liked nick for awhile. We also know Dan was Nick’s senior at uni. So 3 to 4 year age gap. Is it possible Dan knows about the Notorious Boston from either stalking Nick or in Nick’s second year he took a photography elective. Dan is in animation so arts adjacent. He could have been in that class as well and saw Boston being his slutty self. Dan is creepily possessive over Nick and it is possible Dan saw Boston got confirmation of who he is here and after that increased nicks work load even more to keep him under his thumb. Powerless.

I also really feel icky about the manipulation and wording in the pre sex scene. It feels very rehearsed. Not saying Papang did a bad job I just think Dan had pre planned how to manipulate Nick into sleeping with him.

He acts like he knows Nick has someone else in mind. Nick is colder than he once was but overall I think he hides his pain very well. So what the fuck is this

Just really makes me feel like maybe the “hunter has become the prey” Im probably wrong. I’ve been wrong about Dan before but… episode 11 is coming people.

Slightly less unhinged prediction time. I think Dan is going to confront Boston about his relationship with Nick. “Nick needs to be working he needs someone good for him etc” I think this would upset Boston but hopefully he’ll be secure that Nick loves him no matter what and Nick shouldn’t be treated like shit. I won’t mind if Boston punched him but I would be happy with just one of his shit eating smiles to scare the demons away.

[theretirementstory]

26/05/2024. Oh my goodness, I am inside my own four walls, waking in my own bed and relaxing in my own chair and it is just wonderful! Okay, so I only got home on Wednesday evening and have to visit the hospitals in Paris and Troyes over the next few months but who gives a fig, I will say it once again, I AM HOME 😁.

The beautiful card, pictured, was made for me by a friend in the UK, she had hoped it would arrive before I went into hospital, however it was a wonderful surprise to receive it when I returned.

My garden, which I had been longing to see, is still waiting for the gardener to arrive with his mower. He now assures me it will be Monday or Tuesday, it really needs to be otherwise I may need a goat to clear “the pasture”.

The irises are all dead now, I did a little dead heading yesterday. There was a weed (it wasn’t there before I left) which, if left, could have grown into a tree. However the root system was not deep and I removed that very easily. I noticed that one of the hellebores was flowering and am praying that when the gardener does arrive that he doesn’t mow over the top of it too. The œillets (pinks/carnations) are starting to flower and I really would like to try and reclaim my borders which are full of weeds and grass. The cherry tree has the most cherries on that I have ever seen, my neighbour tells me they are not ripe yet, I think by the time they are the birds will have eaten the majority. Noticed a blackbird in the tree gorging itself on them. I need to take things slowly and so I will need to, eventually, do a little bit at a time.

My peonies have not flowered again this year (well they are only young). On Thursday I took a telephone call which was from one of the florists in town. She said she had a delivery for me 🤔 I thought, who would be sending me flowers? The bouquet arrived, six beautiful pinky/white peonies oh my goodness who had sent them? I read the card that was with them and promptly burst into tears. The bouquet was from “The Trainee Solicitor” and “The Reconnect Navigator”. What a wonderful surprise 🥲.

Anie had been shopping for me on Wednesday and kindly brought the shopping down around 8pm. She also brought me a bunch of œillet from her garden. She hugged me (we both had masks on so I guess that was alright). Monique had volunteered her help, I just have to ask. Lots of people want to come and see me but until I get a programme of where I am and when, it’s a little difficult to organise. Well it is early days too I suppose.

The dietician had a laminated sheet on the back of the door in my room, it showed things that I was allowed to eat, on there were Mars bar, Twix and Kitkat. I have dreamt of Mars bars and Kitkats, still not had one but think I may treat myself next week.

Yesterday was the BBQ for the association, of which my knitting group is part. I received a photo and was totally surprised to see that numbers have dwindled so much that everyone attending seemed to be just around one table. it looked as if there were only 14 people in total. it really is quite sad as before Covid the groups seemed to have such a large number of members.

It was a full five days work last week for “The Trainee Solicitor” and “The Reconnect Navigator” so this long weekend (Bank Holiday Monday) is going to be a nice break again. There were plans afoot to sort out the garden hedge etc but not sure if that got started yesterday although grass seed (?) had been purchased so it may have found it’s way from the box to the ground by now 😉. “The Reconnect Navigator” had been and had her nails “done” and very nice they looked too.

“The Photographer” has been to London for a few days. He went to meet up with a guy he had worked with. He had a good time but didn’t appear to do as much as had been mooted. He visited his Aunt and Uncle too which was another nice visitor for them. He has got a few irons in the fire with his photography so that is interesting. His children are away on holiday with their Mum and Grandad who is visiting from Vancouver!

“The Jetsetter” back from her adventures in Vancouver, has been back at work. It won’t be for much longer though as another holiday is beckoning.

Onto the music slot this week, I am reminiscing over holidays long gone but memories are wonderful things. Numerous visits to Sousse in Tunisia, nights spent in “La Grotte” disco, taking over the dance floor to tracks like “I Surrender” by Rainbow, released in 1981 or the song I loved so much from 1976, “If You Leave Me Now” by Chicago.

It’s Fetes des Meres here today (as it is in a number of countries) so I am happy with my Mother’s Day present of the beautiful peonies. Well they were really to wish me well on the road to recovery but have been given a dual purpose now.

Bon Dimanche

[falseandrealultravival]

Haiku poet specializing in plants (Essay)

Geometry

I wonder if you master it

Spurge

It has been over 30 years since I started writing haiku. Initially, the subjects were wide-ranging, but plants have been the main focus for the past three years. The biggest reason for this is his style of presenting haiku poems with photographs.

When I was working on Japanese SNS, I belonged to one of the communities called ``Photo Gogyoka'' and created poems with tanka divided into 5 lines and a relaxed character limit. I learned that. When I applied this idea to haiku, I adopted this format because it allows me to express details that are difficult to imagine with just 17 characters.

However, I don't dislike animals, but they move so much that my photography skills can't capture them. No wonder there are so few haiku about birds. It is also difficult to express the contact between people's hearts and the depth of people's psychology. However, I can photograph plants and project my heart into them. I have much knowledge about plants.

Combining photography and haiku is a double-edged sword, favoring one direction while abandoning the other. ``People can only do what they are capable of doing.'' This is probably true. Today I will walk with my camera and hunt for plants.

Praying mantis

appearance of death

fighting pose

(A haiku about animals)

Rei Morishita

植物専門の俳人（エッセイ）

私が俳句を始めてから３０年を超える。当初題材は多岐に渡ったが、ここ３年ほどは植物がメインになっている。その最大の理由は、写真と組み合わせて俳句を発表するスタイルを取っていることである。

私が日本のＳＮＳをやっていた時、コミュニティの一つ「Ｐｈｏｔｏ五行歌」に所属し、短歌を５行に分けて、字数制限を緩くした詩を作ったが、そこで詩と写真を組み合わせる面白さを学んだのだ。その発想を俳句に適用すると、１７文字では中々イメージしにくいディテールが表現出来るので、この形式を採用した。

ただし、私は動物も嫌いではないのだが、よく動くので、私の写真技術では捉え切れない。鳥を扱った俳句が少ないのも当然だ。また人の心の触れ合いとか人の心理の襞とかも表現しにくい。ただ植物は写真に収め、私の心を投影することはできる。私は植物の知識が豊富だ。

写真と俳句を組み合わせることは、諸刃の剣であり、一つの方向性には有利だが、他の方向性は捨てることになる。「人は、自分の出来るようにしか出来ない」――これは真理であろう。今日も私はカメラを持って散歩し、植物ハントする。

蟷螂の

フ���イティングポーズが

死に姿

[cookinguptales]

yamagata (part three)

or The Final Part.

A continuation of this post and this post.

After a night at an onsen town and a night at a shukubo pilgrim lodging, we were finally going to the Dewa Sanzan.

I'd planned two days for this, but well. Hail happened. lmao. So we ended up going to Hagurosan, the Dewa Sanzan museum, the Shugendō museum, and Dainichibou and then just driving around Gassan and Yudonosan. ;; Tragedy. I guess I just wasn't pure enough yet, lmao. Maybe one day.

Anyway, time for Hagurosan.

(Note: please keep in mind that most temples and shrines in Japan allow exterior photography but no interior photography. So that's been respected in this post.)

So the Dewa Sanzan are three sacred mountains that the yamabushi climb regularly. Other pilgrims (particularly Buddhists) also climb these mountains, but typically don't take the same rugged trails that the yamabushi do. The idea is that you climb Hagurosan, then Gassan, then Yudonosan. You're kind of embarking on a metaphorical journey through the present, past, and future, or birth, death, and rebirth. By the time you've gotten to Yudonosan, you need to go barefoot and you're not even allowed to speak of what the object of worship is.

(I know what it is, but... no, I shan't say it.)

These days, though, mostly only hikers and serious pilgrims do the whole climb. Gassan in particular is a pretty hazardous climb, and it's closed off for most of the year unless you're a yamabushi.

You can climb parts of it (like I did) or just drive to the shrines on Hagurosan and Yudonosan. Some parts you can only see by hiking, which is why I chose to hike a little bit of it. Not even almost all of it, though. lmao. Just a couple hours' worth.

I started with Hagurosan. It's the first of the three mountains and was right near our shukubo. (That's why there's basically a whole city of shukubo and former shukubo there. Pilgrims who climbed the three mountains.) Now, a lot of people will only climb Hagurosan. It's the only one of the three mountains that's open year-round, so there's actually a shrine there that enshrines all three mountains. In other words, you can just go to the main shrine office on Hagurosan and skip the other two if you're not really looking for enlightenment through nature.

(That wasn't my goal, but I guess that's how it shook out. lmao. At least I got my goshuin for all three.)

At Hagurosan, you start down at the bottom at the main gate.

There are two statues in each side as guardians, but it was almost impossible to photograph them because of the chicken wire they put over the sides.

(This is common to prevent animals and stuff from getting inside at temples, but the mesh was finer than usual here so my camera kept focusing on that instead of what was behind it.)

There was also a small shrine to Susano-o next to the gate, before you enter Hagurosan.

There was also a small shrine to Jizo, but... God. I don't know. It was crammed to the gills full of toys, balloons, etc. and I was just too sad to take a picture. For those who don't know, Jizo is often prayed to on behalf of dead children, including miscarriages, stillbirths, and abortions. So that's why you often see him dressed in baby clothes with toys on his altar. It's people praying for the souls of their dead children.

Which... I don't know, I've seen a lot of mizuko shrines (the ones about lost children) but this one just got to me. So I don't have photos.

Anyway. Time to pass through the gate, say hi to Fuujin and Raijin, and get started.

The walk itself, though difficult, was very beautiful in the misty morning.

The main thing to see on this stretch of the hike is a Five-Story Pagoda that's about 650 years old. It's very beautiful... I hear.

I discovered after climbing down about 500 steps that it was under construction and entirely covered in opaque scaffolding. ;o;

That said, a small window is open in the scaffolding so offerings can still be made, so I got a little glimpse of it.

That said, I really enjoyed Haraigawa Shrine, which was a small shrine under a waterfall that you see shortly after you descend the first staircase.

It just looked so beautiful from the bridge. I really liked going to see that.

And look, a little Fudō Myō-ō. (He's an important deity in Shugendō.)

The Grandpa Cedar, or 1000yo cedar tree.

After this, I moseyed back to were Dad was waiting in the car (and... almost passed out lmao) and we drove to the top of the mountain to where the main shrine is.

Right before I walked into the shrine, though, I stopped at the little museum they had there about the Dewa Sanzan.

Giant tengu masks! (Note, these were HUGE, much larger than they look here.)

And I guess I at least got to see a model of the pagoda lmao.

Truthfully, this museum wasn't that huge. Most of it was swords, which... I'm sorry, all look identical to me. It did have some yamabushi outfits, regalia, ritual objects, etc., but the Shugendō museum had better examples, imo. I'll have some better photos from the Shugendō museum later on.

Anyway, on to Ideha Shrine.

The cedars were really beautiful out here, and you can see some of the subshrines behind them.

It was interesting, because people had lodged coins in the bark of a lot of these trees. I had just read some research on wishing trees in Scotland, so I annoyed everyone by taking lots of photos here.

Ah, more Jizos... and more toys...

There was a really neat little building here, but I couldn't get pictures because there was a service going on. It was wild, though. There was the most beautiful painting on the ceiling of the hall and lots of people walked in but no one looked up. And I tried to point up (didn't want to talk during the service) but no one paid attention.

Oh well. Their loss.

Anyway, finally went and visited the main hall and got my goshuinchō taken care of.

(Would anyone be interested in a post about goshuinchō? They're basically books that you get signed/stamped at shrines and temples, and some are quite beautiful.)

There was still hail all over the ground here and it was super crowded, so it was hard to get photos of a lot of the buildings. Still, I managed to get one from a bit further away.

It actually has an old-fashioned thatched roof, which was really neat to see up close. Also, it's freaking HUGE. It's just hard to tell from across the lake. That's part of why it was so hard to take a good photo from closer. It's SO BIG. One of the bigger halls I've ever seen at a Shinto shrine. There were like multiple big halls in there having services.

Why multiple halls? Well, like I said, this shrine stands in for all three mountains for people who can't get to all three. So there were different halls for each mountain/shrine.

All in all, really lovely. I was surprised to see all the tour buses, though! That would go away quickly as we approached the other mountains.

Before I get to that, though, have some photos from the Shugendō museum down at the base of the mountain!

This is the clothing that a yamabushi would wear on the mountain (with a tengu mask over the face of the dummy, haha)

And here's Fudō Myō-ō again.

There are tons of photos I could show off of this little museum, but I'm not sure if others will find them all as interesting as I do...? So here's one fairly spectacular one of a life-size diorama of a ritual.

So then we were out of there, driving out towards Gassan and Yudonosan. A couple photos of Gassan from the road... (Just peeking out in the background if you zoom in on the second.)

You can probably see why it's closed. It was super snowy already in October, so it's just not safe for most hikers.

Now... you may be wondering why we drove towards Yudonosan but I did not actually get to go to the shrine there.

Frankly, part of it is just that I was going pretty slow that day. I hadn't slept much the night before (my dad...... snores a lot lmao) and I wasn't feeling great so I was kind of white-knuckling it through these climbs. A lot of walking isn't easy for me on a good day, and this wasn't a great day. So it took me a lot longer to get through Hagurosan and the museums than I'd anticipated.

(And... again, I had actually scheduled us another day that we kind of lost to the weather. ;; The museums had been closed, too.)

But what really put it over the edge to "we will miss our train if we go to Yudonosan" was how dang long it took at Dainichibou.

Now, I've talked a bit about sokushinbutsu, living Buddha, and self-mummifying monks before a couple times, so I'll just point you to that.

(Extreme trigger warning for discussions of death, religious suicide, self-starvation, self-poisoning, etc., though there are no photos. That said, if you do wish to google photos of Shinnyokai, I do think there's something kind of beautiful about him.)

Anyway, I was really, really lucky to have the experience that I did at Dainichibou. And... obviously, I do not have photos.

But it did take uhhh a couple hours longer than expected. I wasn't expecting an entire history lesson from a monk when we walked in. I was lucky to get it!!! And to get to spend so much time with Shinnyokai. But it did prevent us from going to Yudonosan.

All that said... a few more photos.

First, this photo that had me in fucking hysterics. It's pointing the way to Dainichibou with a super cutesy graphic that does not at all prepare you for what's actually inside that temple.

Second, some exterior photos of the temple grounds.

(These were taken by Dad while I was getting my goshuin, my phone died RIP.)

And finally, my pride and joy, the one thing I really, really wanted to get for myself if at all possible in Japan this trip... The omamori of Dainichibou Temple.

Like... I won't lie, it's a bit of a morbid "souvenir". But there also feels like there's something deeply meaningful to it. It makes me feel like I'm participating in a ritual that a person literally gave their life to complete, you know?

If you didn't read that explanation post of what's in Dainichibou, then you may not know why this is special.

(again, content warning for death)

The object of veneration at Dainichibou is a sokushinbutsu, or a monk who mummified himself while he was still alive so he could become a living Buddha/bodhisattva and bring salvation, good health, and enlightenment to humans still on earth.

It's said that he pulled out his own eye during his lifetime to help end a plague, and... well, idk about that. Stories are perhaps more powerful than most humans are. But I did feel some kind of way seeing the statue of Kannon that the monks had "defaced" there, pulling out one of her eyes so she would match the mummified corpse they have in their back room.

Shinnyokai sits up in eternal repose, and you can meditate with him. And, when you leave, you can buy an omamori. Now, omamori are charms that you can buy at pretty much any shrine or temple. They are small charms, often cloth bags with something inside them. You don't open them; seeing what's in there isn't the important part. It's usually a sutra written by one of the monks or something similar.

But the omamori at Dainichibou is something much more materially significant, I suppose. Every six years, Shinnyokai's brightly colored robes are changed. When that happens, the old robes are cut up, and scraps of them are placed into the omamori that will protect pilgrims that come to visit him, pray with him, and listen to his story.

I feel like there's a fine, fine line between dark tourism (which I'm usually not a fan of) and joining in a ritual like this. But... I can't help but respect this man's sacrifice, you know? The act of sokushinbutsu takes ten years, and those ten years are agonizing. I don't think I've ever wanted anything that much. And while I may not ever know his entire life story or why he chose to do it for sure, I do know that he did it.

So... it feels like if I'm going to visit him, I need to respect that choice and allow the monks there to try and protect me in the best way they know how -- which is teaching me the history of the temple, (being shocked that I already knew what honji suijaku is, lmao), stamping my goshuinchō, introducing me to Shinnyokai, and letting me take a piece of him home with me.

So while I have many omamori, that's the one that I really treasure most. There's really no other like it, and I know that a man literally died to give it to me.

That's heavy, y'know?

And while I didn't actually get to visit all three shrines, I did actually visit places associated with all three. Hagurosan, obviously, I actually visited. Gassan is attached, actually, to Hijiori Onsen. There's a trail from that onsen to the mountain that yamabushi have used for centuries, and I bathed in the sacred water that flow from that mountain's base. And Dainichibou, obsessed with death and rebirth and attaining immortality, in a way, is at the food of Yudonosan.

So while I haven't given up on doing a true Dewa Sanzan pilgrimage one day, I do actually feel pretty satisfied with what I managed to do while I was there this time. I had some really incredible experiences. Drinking the same healing waters pilgrims have for centuries and communing with nature and praying with yamabushi and visiting a sokushinbutsu and eating some -- god, truly vile pickled mushrooms. lmao

I had a good time and I learned a lot, even a few lessons that I wasn't expecting. So I think it was a really, really valuable trip for me.

I grew!

(...........and then I took a train to Disneyland. lmao)

[hoonvrs]

Hey saint watchu doin 😊

Honestly had a really bad day today and Ur the only person I can talk to rn. Idk what's up with ppl forcing me to do things I don't like and telling me to stop doing things I love doing. As if whatever I wanna do is always wrong. My school has restricted me to do any crochet in the campus EVEN THOUGH I don't interrupt nor am I distracted during the classes. My mum has told me to solely focus on studies and do crochet in the holidays. BUT now they want me to do extracurriculars. Maybe I'm in the wrong but I have no interest in the acts of singing, dancing, art and other cultural activities. But I have to do them because I do nothing at home. Like I don't take extra classes for playing instruments, or go to other places for tutoring, nor do I learn anything involving self defense, dancing, singing, reciting. I don't even like sports. I just don't like these activities. But I have to do them and I'm being forced because they're 'good for me' and 'good for my future'. Which I get it's completely fine. But is crochet not? Infact I wanted to do a specific activity and my friend wanted to do photography. But since I chose that activity, she has to too because she won't do photography alone. And then she said it's my fault but when I said that I could switch for the sake of her not blaming it on me for the rest of the semester, she said no. I can't deny anything anymore. When they ask me if I want to do something and I say no, they ask why and I just say that I don't want to. But apparently that isn't a valid reason to say no. I would say all of this to my mum but she's friends with my friends mums and would try taking to them about it but I don't want the others knowing. Ill be honest saint you were the first person I could think of because no one else would just listen to me and not go tell someone else or start asking questions. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I just wish things were like before when in was like five and I wasn't allowed to meet my friends outside of school. When our parents weren't friends to the point they would steal away the only day my mum had a holiday I could spend time with her on. I wish I had someone to talk to. Now all I can do is look in the mirror, cry, and talk to myself. Saint you don't understand how much talking to u like this is helping me. We don't even know eachother personally but at least I can talk to you freely without any judgement. I just wanna live my life. I've never had a moment in life where I felt free since I was 5. I miss freedom.

-🌜(rant again 😭)

i can’t understand personally but i can definitely feel for you cause i have a friend in the exact same situation and honestly fuck them for not letting you do what you want in your own life, esp ur school cause in what world do they completely nan you from crocheting in school likes it’s really none of their business. honestly the advice i can give ( if you even want any ) is to not do it. nothing teaches a parent a lesson unless their kids rebel cause it honestly so much easier to ask for forgiveness then for permission, and they’ll see in the future all of that was so useless.

with your friend pls try and stand up for yourself, coming from someone who’s literally ignored her own cousins cause they were being bitchy it’ll be better to avoid and ignore her then to have to put up with her attitude. tell her no one told her to ditch photography and that she should learn some independence or she won’t get too far in life, and she might get offended but that’s her problem not yours.

i’m happy that you feel safe enough with me to share this but i’m so upset that you have to go through this, praying it’ll be js an emotional memory when you’re a little bit older with more independence cause parents will learn to give their kids freedom once they’ve hit an age where they can’t control them ( usually uni )

don’t let anyone try to talk you out of what you love or talk you down into staying in a toxic friendship just because you’re ‘parents are close’ or ‘you’ve known each other for so long’ they’re js manipulating you into wasting your energy and effort on stupid friendships and ik it’s easier said then done but you’ll feel so much better without that burden

[shikokunature]

English Version:

⛩️ Ishiteji Temple — A Masterpiece in the Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage ⛩️

Captured by none other than the aerial photography deity himself, @shikoku_4k! 🌟 Allow me to take you on a visual journey through the heart of Ehime Prefecture with this awe-inspiring drone shot.

📍 Location:

Nestled in Matsuyama City, Ehime Prefecture, Ishiteji Temple is the 51st temple in the iconic Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage (四国八十八ヶ所霊場). With over 1,200 years of history, this temple is a sacred treasure of Japan, blending serene forests, a hillside cemetery, and traditional Buddhist architecture.

🛤️ A Pilgrim’s Haven:

Pilgrims clad in white often stop here to pray for peace and enlightenment. Known for its intricate carvings, mysterious tunnels, and unique pagodas, Ishiteji holds a special place in both spiritual and historical landscapes of Japan.

🌏 Surrounding Charm:

From the lush greenery of the hillside to the bustling life of Matsuyama below, this aerial view captures the striking balance between the modern world and timeless tradition.

🎥 Why My Photography Is Unlike Any Other:

I am not just a photographer—I am a curator of Japan’s beauty, delivering it from my lens straight into your home. Every image I take is crafted with precision, artistry, and an understanding of how light, shadow, and perspective reveal stories only a drone can tell.

Whether you want to admire Japan’s beauty, decorate your space with stunning prints, or support independent artistry, this is your chance to bring the wonder of Shikoku into your life.

🌟 Why settle for ordinary when you can own extraordinary? My portfolio spans:

✅ Majestic temples like Ishiteji

✅ Iconic castles, traditional streets, and vibrant festivals

✅ Lush mountains, rivers, and coastlines

🎨 Own a Piece of Japan’s Beauty:

You can purchase this breathtaking shot of Ishiteji Temple or explore my entire collection through my online shops:

🔗 Linktree: Your gateway to everything Shikoku4K – https://linktr.ee/shikoku4k

🖼️ Stock Media: Perfect for commercial use or personal projects.

• Wirestock: https://wirestock.io/shikoku.4k.&.drone.scapes

• Adobe Stock: https://stock.adobe.com/contributor/212093532/Shikoku4K

• Shutterstock: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Shikoku+4K?rid=439486495

• Alamy: https://www.alamy.com/portfolio/shikoku4k

• Pond5: https://www.pond5.com/artist/Shikoku4K?ref=Shikoku4K

🎁 Private Sales: Bring home prints, decor, or gifts!

• Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/Japaholic/explore

• Threadless: https://shikoku4k.threadless.com/

• Zazzle (Japanese-language shop): https://www.zazzle.com/mbr/238246500074037576

💡 Support My Work:

Feel inspired? Buy me a coffee and keep the magic flowing. https://buymeacoffee.com/shikoku4k

#石手寺 #空撮の神 #空撮 #四国八十八ヶ所 #四国4K #愛媛の美しさ #ドローン映像 #日本の美景

[shikoku-news]

⛩️ Ishiteji Temple — A Masterpiece in the Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage ⛩️

Captured by none other than the aerial photography deity himself, @shikoku_4k! 🌟 Allow me to take you on a visual journey through the heart of Ehime Prefecture with this awe-inspiring drone shot.

📍 Location:

Nestled in Matsuyama City, Ehime Prefecture, Ishiteji Temple is the 51st temple in the iconic Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage (四国八十八ヶ所霊場). With over 1,200 years of history, this temple is a sacred treasure of Japan, blending serene forests, a hillside cemetery, and traditional Buddhist architecture.

🛤️ A Pilgrim’s Haven:

Pilgrims clad in white often stop here to pray for peace and enlightenment. Known for its intricate carvings, mysterious tunnels, and unique pagodas, Ishiteji holds a special place in both spiritual and historical landscapes of Japan.

🌏 Surrounding Charm:

From the lush greenery of the hillside to the bustling life of Matsuyama below, this aerial view captures the striking balance between the modern world and timeless tradition.

🎥 Why My Photography Is Unlike Any Other:

I am not just a photographer—I am a curator of Japan’s beauty, delivering it from my lens straight into your home. Every image I take is crafted with precision, artistry, and an understanding of how light, shadow, and perspective reveal stories only a drone can tell.

Whether you want to admire Japan’s beauty, decorate your space with stunning prints, or support independent artistry, this is your chance to bring the wonder of Shikoku into your life.

🌟 Why settle for ordinary when you can own extraordinary? My portfolio spans:

✅ Majestic temples like Ishiteji

✅ Iconic castles, traditional streets, and vibrant festivals

✅ Lush mountains, rivers, and coastlines

🎨 Own a Piece of Japan’s Beauty:

You can purchase this breathtaking shot of Ishiteji Temple or explore my entire collection through my online shops:

🔗 Linktree: Your gateway to everything Shikoku4K – https://linktr.ee/shikoku4k

🖼️ Stock Media: Perfect for commercial use or personal projects.

• Wirestock: https://wirestock.io/shikoku.4k.&.drone.scapes

• Adobe Stock: https://stock.adobe.com/contributor/212093532/Shikoku4K

• Shutterstock: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Shikoku+4K?rid=439486495

• Alamy: https://www.alamy.com/portfolio/shikoku4k

• Pond5: https://www.pond5.com/artist/Shikoku4K?ref=Shikoku4K

🎁 Private Sales: Bring home prints, decor, or gifts!

• Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/Japaholic/explore

• Threadless: https://shikoku4k.threadless.com/

• Zazzle (Japanese-language shop): https://www.zazzle.com/mbr/238246500074037576

💡 Support My Work:

Feel inspired? Buy me a coffee and keep the magic flowing. https://buymeacoffee.com/shikoku4k

#石手寺 #空撮の神 #空撮 #四国八十八ヶ所 #四国4K #愛媛の美しさ #ドローン映像 #日本の美景

[shikoku4k]

⛩️ Ishiteji Temple — A Masterpiece in the Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage ⛩️

Captured by none other than the aerial photography deity himself, @shikoku_4k! 🌟 Allow me to take you on a visual journey through the heart of Ehime Prefecture with this awe-inspiring drone shot.

📍 Location:

Nestled in Matsuyama City, Ehime Prefecture, Ishiteji Temple is the 51st temple in the iconic Shikoku 88 Temple Pilgrimage (四国八十八ヶ所霊場). With over 1,200 years of history, this temple is a sacred treasure of Japan, blending serene forests, a hillside cemetery, and traditional Buddhist architecture.

🛤️ A Pilgrim’s Haven:

Pilgrims clad in white often stop here to pray for peace and enlightenment. Known for its intricate carvings, mysterious tunnels, and unique pagodas, Ishiteji holds a special place in both spiritual and historical landscapes of Japan.

🌏 Surrounding Charm:

From the lush greenery of the hillside to the bustling life of Matsuyama below, this aerial view captures the striking balance between the modern world and timeless tradition.

🎥 Why My Photography Is Unlike Any Other:

I am not just a photographer—I am a curator of Japan’s beauty, delivering it from my lens straight into your home. Every image I take is crafted with precision, artistry, and an understanding of how light, shadow, and perspective reveal stories only a drone can tell.

Whether you want to admire Japan’s beauty, decorate your space with stunning prints, or support independent artistry, this is your chance to bring the wonder of Shikoku into your life.

🌟 Why settle for ordinary when you can own extraordinary? My portfolio spans:

✅ Majestic temples like Ishiteji

✅ Iconic castles, traditional streets, and vibrant festivals

✅ Lush mountains, rivers, and coastlines

🎨 Own a Piece of Japan’s Beauty:

You can purchase this breathtaking shot of Ishiteji Temple or explore my entire collection through my online shops:

🔗 Linktree: Your gateway to everything Shikoku4K – https://linktr.ee/shikoku4k

🖼️ Stock Media: Perfect for commercial use or personal projects.

• Wirestock: https://wirestock.io/shikoku.4k.&.drone.scapes

• Adobe Stock: https://stock.adobe.com/contributor/212093532/Shikoku4K

• Shutterstock: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Shikoku+4K?rid=439486495

• Alamy: https://www.alamy.com/portfolio/shikoku4k

• Pond5: https://www.pond5.com/artist/Shikoku4K?ref=Shikoku4K

🎁 Private Sales: Bring home prints, decor, or gifts!

• Redbubble: https://www.redbubble.com/people/Japaholic/explore

• Threadless: https://shikoku4k.threadless.com/

• Zazzle (Japanese-language shop): https://www.zazzle.com/mbr/238246500074037576

💡 Support My Work:

Feel inspired? Buy me a coffee and keep the magic flowing. https://buymeacoffee.com/shikoku4k

#石手寺 #空撮の神 #空撮 #四国八十八ヶ所 #四国4K #愛媛の美しさ #ドローン映像 #日本の美景

⛩️ 石手寺 — 四国八十八ヶ所霊場第51番札所 ⛩️

空撮の神、@shikoku_4k による壮大な空撮映像！✨ 愛媛県の中心で、この圧巻の石手寺をご案内します。

📍 場所:

愛媛県松山市に位置する石手寺は、四国八十八ヶ所霊場の第51番札所であり、日本の神秘と歴史が融合する特別な場所です。荘厳な森林、丘陵墓地、そして仏教建築の美しさが見事に調和しています。

🎥 私の撮影が唯一無二の理由:

私は単なる写真家ではありません。日本の美しさを切り取り、それを最高の形で皆さんのもとへ届けるキュレーターです。光と影、視点のすべてを活かし、空撮ならではの物語を語ります。

🎨 日本の美を所有する:

この素晴らしい石手寺のショットや、私のすべてのコレクションをぜひご覧ください！

🔗 リンクツリー: https://linktr.ee/shikoku4k

[etchingstoalostgod]

sign posts and checkered flags: on new years resolutions

28/12/2024 - 11/01/2025 - 23/01/2025

i suppose this is time of the year where everyone writes their new year's resolutions that they never stick to or the time was a week or two ago (now more lol) when i started writing this post but alas my brother gave me his christmas flu as he couldn’t resist telling me about his new french perfume website that he had to buy from. he said hes sorry and bought me honey and lemon buttermethols which have such a weird syrup inside i don’t know how one could call it lemon nor honey. im sure he will forget like everyone else does that i do not have a good functioning immune system but at least its not covid just one of the other five virus going around the christmas time despite the fact it is summer so i guess the viruses have evolved to withstand the australian heat.

if you will allow me to be a bit self-indulgent as if this isnt my blog, i want to reflect on the year and do the whole setting resolutions thing but in my case smashing goals is quite a past time i have. i need to write more of them down as it might be a bit of life hack for getting me to actually do things.

on writing this post its spawn about ten other posts as apparently i love introspection and i'm having some time alone from the delete button because i'm just trying to figure things out. some of the posts have turn into to more life goals but i guess this is my blog and i can do whatever i please. i want to just get them out of the way but i just keep writing more and more so pray that i finish them by march.

2024 was… well… a year… i guess? it's complicated to say the least. part of me feels like i should have loved it completing my first year of art school and part of me feels like i should hate it as it was filled with sickness, tiredness, migraines and all the other ways my body tries to attack me. it hardly felt like a year and in other ways felt like three. if there's some silver lining i did get quite a lot better at art, who knew that going to art school would do that. which maybe didn’t help with my tiredness but it's not as if you can complete art school four times.

im glad my parents convinced me to go despite watching endless amercians on the internet hating their art schools. whenever i would post about thinking about going to art school, many people even those who i barely knew told me it wasn’t worth it. i feel so bad for these people who seemingly felt like they wasted all this time just to go into debt for life. i was convinced art school would suck the life out of drawing and i'd drop out after the first year but how wrong that all is. it's really the place i need to be.

before art school all the art advice i ever got was from popular artists on the internet and the thing is that is there very good at making popular art on the internet and that’s just their thing. the advice is find your niche and stick to it and don’t really stray away from it. but who really even makes art like that? i want to learn how to create anything i want from life and imagination and i don’t want to fill limited by my skills but empowered by them. learning is just a very slow process. being an artist to me is less about the money out of it but more dedicating your life to be the eternal student. all my teachers just say experiment, experiment, experiment. and i think their right. if i never would have gone to art school, i would have just painted little portrait paintings in my room all day and maybe a few landscapes but i don’t know if i would have some much else to show. now ive done clay sculpture, digital photography, charcoal drawing, gouache painting, mix media, digital animation, collage, life drawing, still life drawing, a bit of everything. and im a better artist for it.

theres nothing like the environment of art school. i wish it could last forever, and that real life was just like that. my teachers talk a lot about needing to find community as an artist and their right. after i graduate which i'm quite a ways off, finding community as an artist is one of the most important things i have to do.

i'm sort of already finding it through my life drawing university club. it's mainly animation students and only a few fine arts students but i quite like being the quirky painter while everyone else draws into their sketchbook. if there's truly one way to easily improve as a visual artist, it's going to life drawing and especially if you hate drawing the figure. i feel so fortune to have the ability to turn up and i almost wish i turned up earlier, perhaps i would already be rembrandt by now but the past is the past, is it not. the life drawing club put my artwork for the cover of their end of year gallery show which was quite exciting. though i couldn’t attend because of my health or lack thereof, in fact i stopped attending life drawing all together towards the end of the year, all the more reason to go next year (which is now this year as i'm writing but you know when school starts again).

i suppose i should talk about friendship because it's quite a great strain in my life. i made no new friends this year. i'm not great at keeping conversations, reading social cues or even if the other person simply liked having a talking with me. i don’t really get it. however, if i'm able to make friends anywhere it will be art school or life drawing club. people actually talk to me in class, which is a start, well when they are not walking away from me which for some reason happens quite often (i am actually sorry i just really love talking about painting). i'm not sure if friends are optional but at the moment i don’t have much of an option. though i'll tell you what, making a new a1 paintings every time the models changes pose even from the first four 30 second poses right until the last 20-minute pose is a real conversation starter.

although on friendship, i feel i must mention my house cat. i never realise how much joy and love a cat would give me but he really has. we got him in the middle of 2023 and it’s the best decision my family has ever made in my life. i love that he loves me unconditionally despite the fact that he only meows and i just hug him to death. theres no conversations to fail or social cues to miss read. this kind of love just makes sense. i used to have a cat when i was very little but he was always outside, and his claws freaked me out so we were never the best of friends. my current cat is so dumb and sweet and sleeps against my legs every night. and when he sees a fly, he runs after it until the fly gives up or my mum kills it and gives it to him, for him to then try to eat and spit it out for the next hout as he only eats what the vet describes as mcdonalds of cat food.

during late autumn to early winter, i stayed with my yiayia(grandma) this year and re learnt a lot of greek that i had purposely lost as child when i found out exactly what it meant to be a greek in australia (perhaps more on that another day). it's lovely being able to speak with my yiayia again, more than saying γεια σου, τι κάνεις; (hello how are you). her english is always better than i give her credit for but not enough to never speak greek again. she told me i'm the only one who ever loves her anymore which seems to be the fate of a lot of grandparents but doesn’t make me what to cry any less. everything used to be so lost in translation and now things are slightly more found in the greek, or more greeklish i try to speak. my greek british cousins who are just as greek as me but wouldn’t even describe themselves as such, are in aw of my greek ability but live translating a greek dinsey film isnt the same as having political conversations with my yiayia.

i have at time written about new year's resolutions as one does on the internet, in my diary, scrap piece of paper or whatever and then proceed to never even look at them again. in time, i've found a love for goal setting as it has its place in my life. i know that challenges aren't for everyone but im secretly in love when little numbers going up. why write 4287 words when you can write 5000 words? much more beautiful. it's how i made myself do painting again.

the problem is with new year's resolutions is that i think goals should be forever changing depending on the circumstance. by that definition i will fail a lot of the goals i ever set. one day i would like to read all of shakespeare's plays but will i do that in 2025? probably not but perhaps june i will be the months where i binge them all. when the mood strikes, it stirkes and when will it strike again? so there's a lack of urgency in many of the goals i have and perhaps they are more of life goals than just this yearly goals. however, i must admit there is something so thrilling about setting new year's resolutions. the time of rebrith, the time of new mes.

goals are trash for me if they are not trackable or measurable. "do more exercise" makes no sense if i can't track to see what i am even aiming for, does only a step more count?

i heard people call this task inertia or context switching but i find it quite difficult to change my current tasks. getting out of bed every morning is literally a struggle not in a hyperbolic way but because i need to change my task from lying down to getting ready for the day and it always takes the longest amount of time possible. i work best if there is as little task switching as possible, of course that’s impossible, but i try. when it's been pretty bad, i used to just do everything from bed though i don't think that’s particularly healthy for the soul. it's why setting daily/weekly/monthly goals for me are useless. they will all fail. if i am in a painting mood, i only can paint and i have no motivation to do anything else despite needing to do other work and all i do is procrastinate everything by painting. on the flip side, it means when i start a task i find it very hard to stop. i need to lean in and hack my brain. all goals can be completed at any time and are not frequency bases like draw every week.

i don’t like having one number for a goal. if i have a goal to read 100 books and i only read 90 does that mean i failed?  my goals need more sliding scales so ive come up with a system of having bronze, silver and gold (maybe platinum) versions of my goals. in my mind when i make a goal i usually do make a minimum that i'm okay with, a realistic number and a dream number. why not write it down. i feel this is a more realistic way of setting goals for me. i don’t like the black and white of pass and fail, i need more of a margin of error. this might be giving grade vibes but i'm only marking for showing up and doing the work and that’s half the battle when your making art.

i've written quite a few more posts in depth about my goals they were initially going to be one big post but oh boy i never shut up and i thought it would be more manageable if i post multiple. at the moment i think they might be visual art, books, internet, writing, and idk misc? there are some goals i don’t need to talk about a lot. i'm not sure how much i'll even post but it's in one of my writing goals to post a lot more here.