#wow this ended up being really long

[swiftiepanini]

the crows' favorite book genres

kaz: mystery. horror just kind of bores him but mysteries are fun to solve and he gets super frustrated when the ending is predictable

inej: historical fiction or romance. historical fiction helps her understand what people had to go through from the pov of an ordinary person and she loves romances that are angsty and emotional. girl likes her books to be moving

matthias: usually nonfiction shit because he was raised to believe fiction is useless but bc of nina he's getting more into it. reads mostly realistic fiction

nina: 💖romance💖 all day all night. she'll read cute romances, trashy romances, emotional romances, whatever. matthias makes fun of her for it and she'll rant to him about her books

wylan: obviously doesn't read so he listens to audiobooks. his favorite genre is fantasy because ✨escapism✨ but he also likes dystopian books because they're cool and horrifying to think about

jesper: doesn't read that much but if wylan says a book is really good he'll try to read it. he and wylan will get into arguments because he'll watch the movie and say it's better but wylan argues that it is NOTHING compared to the books so the rest of the crows watch as they have potentially relationship-ending drama over harry potter book vs. movie

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #1.

Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

ah yes, she's concerned about the aggressor and attacker who was invading them six months ago. something is wrong with the empire right now, poor edelgard; whatever could've happened to her? :(

like... what. why do you care about what's going on with her specifically when she's the person who made the decision to invade leicester? does the whole war just mean nothing to marianne? it's just totally fine that all those people died in a war edelgard started? poor edelgard, something happened to her after she started her attack? you're concerned about the leader who gave the order to attack your home?

hopes has stupid lines but this one is top tier of the top tier and just an excuse for more edelgardjerking from the writers.

[sociallyawkwardseal]

Prompt: Fictober Day 1: "That was good work."

Fandom: Lumine

Summary: Camille and Kody have a brief conversation.

Content Warnings: N/A

Words: 1,249

Camille watched a series of bottles shift between Kody’s hands; once the green liquid from one vial had been drained into another, thicker, clear substance, Kody would reach for another, his expression not changing past the subtle twice of his nose as the scents mingled. The green itself spread and fell slowly, as if he had just dropped liquid food dye into watery corn syrup.

“Don’t hesitate,” Camille reminded him, her palm pressed to her cheek. “If you do, it’s going to end up tasting acidic.”

Kody huffed in response, his hands lingering over another tube held in a small wooden rack. “Don’t distract me.”

“You’re stalling.”

“Because you’re distracting me.”

A quiet hum of acknowledgment mingled with amusement caught behind Camille’s now-closed lips as she watched him continue, now more focused than before as he slowly poured half of the liquid in with the mixture.

“What, you’re not gonna get onto me for using too much or too little?” As he spoke, Kody’s bitter gaze flickered up long enough to glance at the other. He slowly reached out for the stirring stick, eyes stuck on Camille as he pulled it closer. “Or you’re not gonna tell me to be careful about how I stir it?”

“Nope, not yet. I’m just waiting and watching now.” Camille smiled a bit, watching as he stirred slowly, almost meticulously. His focus had seemed to double after he grew quiet. “What happened to me not distracting you?”

“If I’m just complaining about you, then I’m not getting distracted. But if you’re interrupting me, then I’m gonna lose focus. How long does this even need to be stirred?”

“Didn’t you read the note I left you?”

“I can’t read Terranian yet, and you left it in Terranian.”

Camille could feel her smile break as he reminded her—though, the only actual change on her expression was a subtle twitch of her lips. Her brain went blank, the only word crossing her mind for a moment being ‘shit’ as she stared at the boy now working silently across from her.

That’s right, you and Sera couldn’t talk at all when you first met her.

“How did you follow the instructions up until now?”

“Eyeballed it. I made something similar before, so, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Plus, it’s not like I even asked you to actually write instructions down for me—I just asked if you had the ingredients.”

“Given how Lumine has talked about how you make your potions… That’s not really reassuring.”

“I knew what I was doing then, too.”

“Did you?”

Kody grew quiet, pulling the stick out as he transferred the syrup-consistency potion into another glass bottle and seal it.

“I didn’t know how it was actually going to react with him, but I knew it wouldn’t kill him. I knew what I put in it, and that nothing in it would mix badly together to be that bad.”

“M-hm. At least there’s that, I guess.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

Feels like there should be a ‘usually’ there, Camille said silently, watching Kody put the vial aside and seal the remaining ingredients. You’ve got a long way to go, but. That doesn’t mean you haven’t studied hard already.

“I’ll clean everything up, too. So. Don’t worry about me making things more of a mess than they already are.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it before I go out today.” Camille waved her hand, watching as Kody pushed himself up. He gathered the emptied and now-dirtied dishes and tools and took them towards the small kitchen. “If you’re going to try and clean up anyway, just drop them off in the sink that’s not by the fridge. It’s the one that’s for anything that isn’t a fruit or vegetable. Potions, meat, whatever.”

“Alright.” Kody did as she instructed, now without any complaint or push-back, and then sat back down across from her. He picked the potion’s bottle back up and held it up to the light, his eyes flickering back and forth through the liquid that almost matched his eye color as he inspected it. “Is it really safe to wash potion bottles next to where you prep meat, though?”

“I mean, nothing I work with in here is toxic. And if it is, then the bottle just gets disposed of.” Camille shrugged, watching him closely. He seemed, at the very least, pleased with the mixture’s consistency and color. “So, what made you want to make something for pain? Everything okay?”

“You’ve been complaining about headaches a lot lately, and clearly, you’re not going to do anything about it yourself.”

Camille felt her smile shatter once again, her lips now fully turning into a frown. “You really noticed that, huh?”

“Lumine did, too. He actually overheard you mention it first.”

“Sera?”

“You actually don’t say anything about it around her, I don’t know if you’re just like. Worried about worrying her or something, but. You don’t even really say it to us, you just kind of say it to yourself and keep doing whatever it is you’re doing.”

Camille dragged her hand down her face as she leaned harder into the back of her chair. “Aghhh. I didn’t even notice.”

“Yeah, well. It’s getting on my nerves, so try this. It’s cool enough now.” He held the bottle out to her, their green eyes meeting as her attention redirected back towards him.

Getting on your nerves? Is that just your way of saying you worry, in this case? Camille hid her smile, eyes meeting his for a brief moment.

She took the bottle from his hands, much smaller than her own, the glass still subtly warm—partially from the mixture, partially from his own hands. “So, you actually sat down and made this for me?”

“Hopefully it’s not too acidic from you distracting me.”

Judging by his half-smirk, it was less of a concern, and more of a facetious comment. Something to poke and prod at her.

She couldn’t help but smile a bit more, seeing how confident he was. How sure he was that, even though she distracted him so much by talking to him, it would still be alright. Even if he silently struggled with it on most days, she always tried to take the moments that he was so sure of himself in good spirits.

“Ha. Even if it was, I’ve definitely had worse than something that’s a little bit acidic. I’ve probably had coffee worse than it, honestly.” She opened it, sniffed, and hen downed it as quickly as possible. If it was actually acidic, she would—hopefully—not even notice. If anything, it would likely feel no worse than mild heartburn—and at worse, severe heartburn.

“Well, was it?”

She waited for a moment, expecting an aftertaste of… Something. Bitterness. Something akin to bile. An incorrect texture from overmixing, adding one ingredient too soon, overheating it, letting it get too cool during the cooking process rather than letting it cool after, something.

But it was no different from what she would have made herself for a patient. Slightly sweet, a bit sticky—it would definitely feel better if she had chased it down with warm water or something else. But it was, actually, up to her standards.

“Not at all, actually.” She said, twisting the neck of the bottle in her fingers. “That was good work, Kody.”

“Yeah? Told you I knew what I was doing. Hope it helps, it’ll probably take a little bit, but.”

[skitskatdacat63]

thinking so hard about . when exactly in the martian timeline they hated and loved eachother can u help me .. cause after turkey 2010 they had their love moments as well and even in 2012 they had their buddy buddy moments so idk !!! they’re confusing

OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY I MEANT TO REPLY TO THIS AND THEN I JUST COMPLETELY FORGOT, SO: hello :D

This is something I think about often as well. Teammates are a weird dynamic in F1 because you're forced to compete for the same resources and against each other in the WDC, but at the same time have to still think combined for the team, for the WCC. I think teammate relationships are like being siblings or like being in a marriage(actually I think Mark has said this before haha.) You can never fully hate or separate from each other, even if you go through rough patches, because you're stuck together and have had the same experiences, for good or for worse.

Turkey 2010 is funny because I think that was one of their first bad moments as teammates, right? And I love that RBR made them take that couples therapy, "us in our get-along shirt", picture. That's what I mean by going through the same experiences, like yeah they were probably pissed at each other but were also probably bonding over the hilarity/awkwardness of RBR making them do damage control.

I just think it's probably difficult to stay upset with someone consistently when you're constantly working with them, and you've also experienced the highest highs and lowest lows with each other. I think I referenced this in my Martian champagne pics post but it's kinda funny when you look through all of those shared podiums that Mark always seemed to be way more willing to spray Seb and smile at him when Mark was the one who won(Literally 3/4 of the pics from that post when they were both at RBR were from Mark's wins.) Like it was such a "I can't stay mad at you 🤭" relationship with them. Like with Mark in particular, it feels like whenever he got a better result, he was mostly like "I shall forgive your transgressions." But then 2013 was kind of the last straw for him, with Multi-21, and especially since he really was getting crushed by Seb and not even getting any wins like in the prev years. But then, by removing himself from it all when retiring, he was able to take a step back and see what it was like to not be in constant, direct competition anymore.

Idk if I'm the best person to ask as I don't think I'm in any measures a great Martian scholar. But these are my thoughts :D I just think being teammates in such a competitive environment can result in such love-hate relationships and that Martian is one of the greatest examples of how it fluctuates. I think it'd be really difficult to try and parse when exactly they were on good or bad terms. For me, tbh I think it kinda correlates with Mark's results because I think with just that whole situation, where they were in as teammates directly competing at the very top, it was a lot easier for Mark, rather than Seb, to start feeling resentment as he was generally drawing the shorter straw most of the time.

Basically, teammates(Martian especially) are bonded through triumph and trauma

[lingeringscars]

updated overall faves from the top of my head:

cassandra who's afraid of little old me? the bolter but daddy i love him guilty as sin? the alchemy florida!!! the smallest man who ever lived

[loafbud]

The first Splatoon game turned 8 yesterday!

[widevibratobitch]

i hate them with a passion

[surrealismhorror]

@ed you in the replies on my post then realized that was the worst possible way in the world to communicate with another person. Anyway did you say pathologic TLT AU 👀??

HEHE YES a lot of it is very loose thoughts but I think these series connect so well thematically that it's very fun for me to think about so far what I have is;

Second house: Necro: Aglaya, Cav: Block, not super solid on the placement of these two but the military format fits and I think the idea of a necromancer and cav who don't get along but are Super dedicated to their duty and are both top of their field would be an interesting dynamic

Third house: Stamatin twins, Peter as the necro and Andrey as the cav, these two are so Tridentarii coded it's ABSURD, I think the way they each view the polyhedron would be interesting to transfer towards necromancy, Peter is capable of insanely powerful necromancy but it takes a 'miracle' to achieve it, I also think the parallels between Naberius and Farkhad could be interesting as well so I'd like to throw him in there somewhere, maybe he met Bab's fate earlier on as a botched lytorhood attempt or perhaps Andrey wanted him out so he could be cavalier prime dunno. Not sure if they would become a lyctor or not, I feel like they'd both be all for the process but given how doomed all their projects are I feel like it just wouldn't end up working out, or at least not in the way they want it to

Fourth house: Capella, Khan, and Notkin are all kind of currently rotating positions for this one, I think Capella and Khan's idea that they need to start on this predestined path and be great leaders already despite being literally children and how this indirectly pushes Notkin into that as well is very 4th house like

Fifth House: I think I'm putting Necro Artemy and Cav Rubin here, I think Isidor was the necromancer prime with Rubin as his cav but when he died that got shifted to Artemy, I think his nature as a humble makes Rubin well suited for a cavalier but I think he'd have the same internal conflicts he does normally about Artemy being suddenly given Isidor's role, and Artemy having his same personal journey about his role. I do think Artemy becomes a lyctor though and the more I'm thinking about it is probably one of the better adjusted ones in this au?

Sixth House: Necro Daniil and Cav Eva, you KNOW Daniil would go crazy not only for necromancy in general but the concept of lyctorhood, complete and total mastery over death? Sounds great to him sure hope there aren't any tragic drawbacks! Ultimately I think Daniil isn't capable of becoming a lyctor without a push and I think Eva ends up sacrificing herself for that because she thinks it's their destiny so Daniil ends up getting what he originally wanted but with a lot of guilt attached. On a goofy silly note I think Eva's not actually that good of a cavalier she was just the only one Daniil could get along with

Seventh House: Necromancer Grace is here :) sorry despite this literally being my favorite house that's all I've got dfgdfgkh

Eighth House: Not sure for this one either honestly, leaning towards the Saburovs for their themes of judgement and religious control, regardless I think Katerina in this au is maybe not full on pretending to be a lyctor but definitely still has the issue of trying to seem more powerful than she is

Ninth House: Necromancer Clara and her Cavalier, her twin sister also named Clara isn't that crazy? Nobody's seen the 9th house twins in the same place at the same time and Clara does become a lyctor later on so was she always a lyctor? who's to say. I think in this au the locked tomb contains something more in line with The Powers That Be or perhaps even further The Ones That Executed The Whole Thing but I'm not sure beyond tying it in to Clara's meta awareness, plus she would Thrive in the 9th house's faux Catholicism environment, I know she goes hard with the skull paint

Other Misc Things:

Mark Immortell as John, what if god was a theather kid would that be fucked up or what

Simon was a lyctor and the Kains are definitely doing some fucked up shit to try and reachieve that

I'd like the blood of eden to be in this au somehow and I'd like the fellow traveler to be in this au somehow, that's as far as I've gotten with both those thoughts

I think Lara and Aspity both have a lot of good potential roles in this au I'm just not sure where to put them exactly

any sort of plot stuff is VERY vague rn, canaan house setup at the start I like thinking about and I'd like to tie the sand pest in Somehow

Maybe the polyhedron can host a soul for literal real this time

Anyways this is all extremely messy I just love the way these two series potentially blend together it's very fun for me dkgjdfjg

[unproduciblesmackdown]

take 4: the tension (gulf spanned with incomplete, continuously crumbling bridges) between the perspective of oneself as the Deservingly Epic Winner Protagonist Person who dares to be Out Of Line versus the need to actually completely stay in line within this b/c it hinges on being in harmony with the preexisting hierarchies which will supposedly reward the "merit" of this Actor. while everyone whose existence is Inferior, according to the hierarchies, is defined by being Out Of Line, which these same people resent & respond to, also Staying In Line with the hierarchy, by trying to reinforce the dynamics of these inferior / superior groupings. "everything pathologized about the inferior groups / rejected as what's Wrong with their existence so as to "cause" these dynamics is "take 4" b/c this is from me trying to write about winston quant kid 2 billions like holy shit a series operating on this logic huh, giving this unvarnished expression of this perspective b/c it's assuming (& requiring...) we all have it. winston is constantly responded to as Guy Who's Out Of Line. the "superior" parties who hate him & get to have him as their punching bag / hit with the butt of the joke / at least ignored & excluded, but taken advantage of, but who all have to Stay In Line, how's that going for them even when it comes to the writing, where characters can't do anything if it's too disruptive of the In Universe hierarchy, unless it's a finale zone for a permissable shakeup, where ppl insulating/supporting each other being a bit Out Of Line is not a problem b/c they individually recognize each other's transcendently True worthiness in thee objective hierarchy we all assume exists, but definitely can never disrupt the out of universe hierarchy, e.g. the show decides wendy is the true hero, b/c she deserves to be. taylor has to hire back dollar bill & stand back while wags & wendy take the lead & the spotlight & hate the autistic guy they hired & show up so the Winner, who was written into the show with nothing to do but tell taylor they're not quite as good as wendy & then provide a vagina amidst otherwise being an Everyemployee who fails to even differentiate from an Axe Cap style everyemployee, can announce their winningness detached from anything that actually happened ever.

counterpart to winston's departure needing an audience of people to stand there & stay in line, which on that side of the same coin meant punishing his Out Of Lineness that doesn't even act like anyone bothered to think of [this is one particular preexisting guy. you thought he liked scifi once before you lost interest in even suggesting he has interests, though, will roland likes scifi, will roland wore his own open buttonup as quant kid 2 that'd define the Look, will roland happened to have the facial hair just kept for production b/c who would care, will roland brought the entire je ne sais quoi acting interpretation that made quant kid 2 go from "out of line guy we kill once" to "out of line guy we keep around to kill all thee time until finale 'haha but seriously though' material means pushing him out of the way in s6 & then s7 alike" like hmm] like everyone just spitballed "annoying things! cringe loser things! things that would never happen to me, a deserving winner!!" & put it in as easter eggs as though that would even make sense, much less [you have no other priority?] but like. rian's sendoff didn't do any better for acting like she's a specific character who's said & done things we're meant to remember & have thought about then & now. taylor didn't get to have resolution with philip. they Had to have resolution with wendy that, again, has nothing to do with any/everything prior, except perhaps to contradict it. this is what anyone got for Staying In Line like superior winners. the autistic [annoying arrogant inferior undeserving etc] Out Of Lineness that would be so supposedly admired instead seen as pure Other shit that's projected upon ppl so as to Reject it thusly. couldn't be me!! i'm a winner who will always have Superior ranking in the hierarchy & treated accordingly!!! i Must be!!!! like i must Kill people who seem to be disrupting this, even by acting like a person who assumes they're equal to me despite being Different. there all along like wow winston existing Out Of Line is so powerful. he can harmonize with & support taylor so well b/c they're introduced as being so Out Of Line, up to the inevitable point of breaking out & starting their own thing entirely!!! but while it's like, okay yeah, you Have to reel them back in by thwarting them b/c otherwise they break so far from central men's orbit they exit the series or you have to put Them at the center (imagine...) (plus! the role winston plays in them getting as close to this as they ever can be!) but then in the end taylor's just shortchanged b/c when it comes time to take down a central man as thee main thing all season, series finale style, they should be knocking it out in a few episodes with sacker & philip. instead we focus on wendy given the helm & fucking around all season. after disposing of winston b/c who even needs him for anything, this is Stay In Line times, and to do that we can do nothing w/autistic people but hate them & punish them for being undeserving. but don't worry b/c he doesn't get to be so Out Of Line as to easily cause problems for them & thwart them, b/c he just doesn't. taylor waits around on wendy & tells her she's the best b/c they just do. we are all in line on all of this ourselves so whew, there's no Disruption to notice if that key Alignment is maintained. rian was never holding herself Above winston if we just really tentatively suggest she doesn't think that she was, while letting every double standard at play be acted out. rian being "out of line" was that she wasn't being aggressive enough about any of her Superiority, b/c if you didn't leave bruising then nothing was That Bad; cue the assaults and boundary violations Reserved for the inferior losers as fun times & nothing anyone is beholden to with Consequences, we don't even make the viewer stick with the consequences of how it affects the target a second too long, lest you start to think it's Drama & not Jokes.

anyways it's all about the [categorization as inferior Other based on an assumed Hierarchy = inherently defined as Out Of Line] all "why get a formal diagnosis from a professional who doesn't know what to look for when at age 5 my peers went 'something's wrong with this one' & acted 'accordingly'" like even when people "know" what's Wrong with someone to make them the odd one out / "incompatible" w/what makes others exist Right, it's time to interpret everything else about them as "backing that up" no matter what, certainly no matter if it involves theoretically Valued concepts, b/c it's all first & foremost Staying In Line with the hierarchy, where the correct way to do things is: if you Can push someone else into greater vulnerability while you're established as Insulated, you Do. tl;dr winston inherently continuously Out Of Line; being "superior" requires an ultimate (&/or also quite Immediate. especially when it comes to "simple" matters already "correctly" arranged in the supposed Objective Hierarchy, like: winston's "objectively" inferiority (autistic swag)) Staying In Line. and what comes of it. all the most engaging & complex shit when people get to not actually stay in line. the power of it if taylor & tmc & allies didn't have to ultimately be shoved into Staying In Line even when it means wendy is the best & oh who cares about taylor & philip when wags is around etc etc. if winston being someone Out Of Line was seen as relevant & not an easy nonstop joke. while a quant who is so In Line as to correctly personally abuse him even more than others are doing is so ""out of line"" as to decide she's already gotten everything she wants & may as well live the dream now, b/c she's not an aggressive man, one has to suppose, same diff as wendy getting to believe she's Better than everyone & is nobly in charge of orchestrating their fates when she Means & Knows so well, & is somehow pitted against prince being this same figure but without having to confront that fact. he's mean! or whatever. he's talking about killing people & wendy isn't so that sorts it out forever. "abuse your local autists; it's funny & their fault & consequenceless b/c they're not real people" is also harmonious with all our ideas. edgy rulebreaking bold independent Out of Line heroes completely in accord w/the established hierarchies. & those whose existence threatening peership disrupts it who are written off losers who could never upend those heroes' goings on. everyone Actually being peers is unimagineable, not as a figure of speech. we do not imagine it, what are you even talking about. now for the Merited Hierarchy to be acted out as arranged, which is fun, god i wish that were me. Independent Agents ascending it only!! & people who Cheat to get in like loser nerds w/their math, b/c they can't Deserve it. now to keep insisting that everyone else could just be On My Level if they tried, while also responding violently if it seems like weirdos / ppl who aren't Supposed to be here are infringing on my level (the only violence is physical strikes that made contact, & perhaps killed you)

anyways just another installment of [fake fans haunted by billions, & other things which are in real life, such as the fictional series billions] musings i have to excise at all b/c [this was take 4]. winston Out Of Line. superior correct winners who have to Stay In Line at related great costs despite the supposed associated wins of that. his autistic swag. knowing ppl Are different autism style b/c they're "out of line." encountering irl autistic people without realizing it & repeatedly writing "this nerd guy is just So annoying ugh!! he's just like weird & doing everything wrong for no reason & won't just Be Normal or Shut Up & Go Away!! but at least his intractible arrogant cluelessness also means we have fun punishing & taking advantage of him" Type butt of jokes into things. those cringe loser Insistently Annoying Weirdo nerds who we all find insufferable & punish, we all know them, inherent Inferior Other Out Of Line that they are. now it's a Guy we all hate & enjoy seeing suffer & Understand as a less deserving less [person] just dropped into the periphery of this fiction. he will easily be thwarted from an alliance with the [person designed to be Out of Line in a way that Is considered Legitimate] that would let them shatter the limits of the series in 5 sec which we're also holding them back by the scruff of the neck to prevent anyways while pushing forward ppl supposed to be even More correct b/c uh um they're a little more Normal, & perhaps even Women, who are innately more caring & gentle. there they go hurting those around them as much as they can, with nothing stopping them at all, but they're using their inside voices & not issuing physical threats so that's what i'm talking about. that is heroic, vs the villainous efforts to navigate life as though everyone will respect them as a fellow person which Autists egregiously pull, to which you can do anything you want to Reject this. maybe even decide you wanna personally use them. isn't that nice of you. no, we don't know what to do with the "this guy won't stop acting like he gets to think he's a person" but eventually send him away after the dozen trampled boundaries to punish him for fun b/c what else was the point of him? anyways don't worry i saw the autistic swag. the nonbinary swag it didn't even know was there. the nonbinary swag it knew was there but held back by the scruff of the neck b/c all billions' most engaging, potential filled characters are the ones Held Back b/c they're threatening too much [out of line] / their out of Lineness must be contained; vs everyone perfectly in line who keeps being pushed in front of them no matter what b/c uhhh.

let's go Out of Line gang. continual inevitable Disruption of the norm(tm). like even just standing there vs "oh immediately i fucking Hate this guy." billions where anyone considers winston for 5 sec would also shatter apart. taylor would be too powerful even more than they already are if they didn't have to stay wendy's sidekick no matter what. rian who didn't have to come back from the hiatus even more "right" than they presumably intended her to always be (bound to thee hierachy / actually always Staying In Line. if she's out of it, psych, actually that was just a correction of the "objective" hierarchal order waiting to reconfigure itself around the situation). standing around waiting like okay but the payoff that Could happen....okay still time though lol....well here we are

the fundamentalness of the Out Of Lineness. quantessential....send post

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i keep having Thoughts about how in so many ways LL has so much potential to be a really hard-hitting, messy, no-punches-pulled exploration of what i call moral agency: not the agency to act on your beliefs, but the agency to have those beliefs at all. like, if you're being abused into internalizing a set of beliefs, or indoctrinated in such a way as to make you resistant to outside perspective, or having relevant information withheld from you even if you would be looking for it... you don't have nearly as much choice in the matter of what you believe as someone who isn't stuck in that position.

and like. the central antagonists alone are literally a massive, horrifically abusive cult that spans generations. and i really wish they had actually followed through on that, and done so with compassion for victims who might need to be held accountable, instead of treating them with hatred and dehumanization.

(and also, y'know. hadn't treated some characters who did bad things as if they had much, MUCH more agency, moral or otherwise, than they did at literally any point. COUGH FIVE COUGH COUGH COUGH)

there's just. so so so much interesting stuff to be dug into there, in a way that's deeply fundamental to the narrative where even a lot of stories about moral agency aren't, and i really wish i could scrape enough brain cells together to talk about it properly

[mushroom-for-art]

Another one, a proper au one this time, I think this is part one of what I'm gonna dumb the Shadow au (I wonder why lmao), the wonderful horrible Syn belongs to @seasidemew

We'll call it a tie

Matt flew weaving between trees of the woods with reckless abandon, on his back he carried a backpack full of stolen human food, he laughed to himself remembering their enraged yelling and hollering, they were furious! And he was very impressed with himself. He'd nabbed it and escaped without being spotted and was far far away from where they were now. He slowed carefully at the end of the woods into a meadow clearing, landing with a stumble he stretched his psychic energy outwards to sense if anyone was around. He only sensed other Pokémon so deeming it safe he ventured into the meadow placing down the backpack carefully before spinning and flopping onto his back into the soft warm flowers scattering petals everywhere as he chuckled.

He stretched in the sunlight purring to himself as he wiggled on his back before sitting up again, psychic energy popping open the backpack as he carefully pulled out the stolen food, mostly tupperwares of things and sandwiches carefully wrapped, it was someone's picnic and now it was his. Well. He'd share it with his sister when she arrived. He sniffed the wrapped sandwiches separating what May would eat to one side, his stomach growled a little at a chicken curry sandwich that smelt deliciously spicy and swallowed as he started to drool. He was DEFINITELY having that one as he put away the food for his sister into the backpack to keep it safe from wild Pokémon. She was probably off collecting berries or something he pondered as he opened a bottled water, also stolen and had a drink satisfied by the coldness of it.

He waited a few moments before unwrapping the curry sandwich, it was in a soft baguette and his tail started to wag at the smell of it and the fact it was a big sandwich, he could tell it was going to be delicious.

"Now that looks tasty." Matt half leapt out of his skin at the sudden voice looking up a bit startled to see a mewtwo he didn't recognise. His eyes roamed over the other gray skin, dark gray tail and a bright crystal coming out of their shoulder, he finally reached the strangers face as they smirked down at him and found himself blinking at the sight of their stunning purple eyes admiring them and the stripes decorating their face.

The stranger chuckled and Matt's face felt hot, going a touch red over his pink hue as he laughed in slight embarrassment and nerves tail still wagging up and down furiously.

"Yes, uh, I could share with you? If you liked." In honesty Matt didn't want to share and wasn't one to willingly share much but he found the stranger rather attractive and did want to get their favor.

"I would like." Matt smiled shyly, focusing his psychic energy to carefully break the sandwich in half to share it with this stranger. He blinked as he felt their hand on his shoulder moving to look at them as they leant in close.

"You'll be quite satisfying." Matt's face went red as he stared bewildered but not at all unhappy about the situation, his smile was a bit timid as he wasn't sure what was happening exactly but having not interacted with another two he wasn't related to he didn't know how they behaved naturally. Unaware of the danger.

The hand grasped his throat in a quick harsh movement slamming him backwards into the grass below as he felt a sudden weakness and his life essence being pulled from his body through the hand that squeezed in his throat, he gasped in shock trying to breathe bringing his feet up to attempt to shove the other away but they didn't budge as his sandwich fell apart on the ground. Panic was setting in as his feet kicked and shoved the other but they were a solid wall of muscle letting out a mewling cry of pain as the stranger stomped a foot down into one of his legs to pin it down, tears prickling and rolling out of his eyes at the pain and confusion.

The strangers mouth became a cruel grin as he looked down on Matt as he absorbed his life, feeling the energy flowing into him in a way that was most satisfying, planning to take the rest of the actual food as well once he was finished. Despite missing both his arms, Syn felt that this odd twos life energy was quite abundant.

In the woods Matt's cry stretched out fading as it traveled but it reached the ear of another, his sister, who dropped the berries she was collecting as she broke into a sprint through the trees towards the meadow in a panic.

"It's nothing personal pinky, you were just nearby while I was feeling hungry." Syn casually mocked as Matt weakened further. "At least you'll be part of sometAH-"

He yelled as something collided hard with his side knocking him away from his meal, he caught himself in a float glaring furiously at the second mewtwo that interfered, their body coated in a shiny metallic layer that glistened and faded as they stood scowling at him bitterly. He looked them up and down as they moved standing protectively in front of the pink one on the floor who was breathing hard before he laughed. The orange hued mewtwo that stood before him was even shorter than the pink one and had a short fat tail and needed glasses, it was almost comical that he'd been caught by surprise.

"Well, looks like this just became a two for one deal." He flew at the other throwing erratic dark energy balls at that flew through the air and struck at them repeatedly creating a cloud of smoke before turning his body using his momentum to slam his tail into their body with force flinging them back, he watched their body hit the ground as it bounced a few times until it stayed grounded sliding along the grass into dirt below till they stopped, it looked as though it had been quite painful as they didn't get back up just lying there. He smirked and chuckled. That was easy. But it had got the blood flowing.

He turned back to pinky and growled at the empty space of flattened flowers.

"Now…where did you go…" He mused looking around and spotting a shade of pink disappearing into the treeline, his psychic energy grabbed hold of Matt who whimpered pulling him back into the meadow "I'm not done with you yet-"

Pain ripped through his back as smoke burst out from the impact point as he took a staggered step forward before turning with a growl to see the orange one annoyingly back on their feet as the pink one ran away.

"Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you." Stars appeared behind the orange one swirling quickly before shooting out at him which he blocked efficiently with a protect glaring at the smoke created, he leapt back to dodge as they broke through the smoke slashing their dark clawed covered fingers through the air where he just stood, they kept with their momentum slashing at him repeatedly as they attempted to get in range. He grinned widely, kicking his leg to strike across their face sending them flying to the side but they caught themselves this time sliding back and stopping quickly as they snarled at him baring their teeth, though their glasses were cracked.

He blocked with his arm as stars struck him from the side as he was distracted looking directly at his opponent soon to be meal. He oo'ed softly at the trick of striking from the side, clearly this one must've been in fights before. Their body shimmered with a coat of metal again as he lunged for them, elemental energy swarmed around his fist as he swung and punched into their arms that they held up to block knocking them backwards before flames burst up their arms electricity shocked their body and ice crystals rapidly spawned and broke along their body in elemental damage as they stumbled with the pain chunks of ice sticking to their body.

"Mmm, iced," He hummed licking at his lips at the thought of enjoying the energy of this other two as he shook the elemental energy off his hands, they were full of fight and while the other seemed abundant of life energy this one must have a stockpiled. "I suppose for now I'll enjoy having you and I'll have pinky another day."

The blade just missed his eye.

He dodged and stepped as blades of psychic and shadow infused energy shot out at him from thin air, he had only seconds to register the materialization of them as they spun at him slashing through the air cutting with whistles at the sharpness and speed. He hissed at the hot pain as one of them managed to cut his tail and quickly leaning his back far backwards with his knees bending as the orange two swung at him shadow psychic energy creating sharp blade protrusions on the back of her hands between her two fingers like a Toxicroak claw. In that moment everything slowed as he saw an yellow ring around the outside of her brown eyes that had narrowed into hateful glares before time returned and he spun swiping under their legs to knock them over forming his own blade to quickly strike down into them only to stab the dirt as they rolled out the way.

They got back up struggling for the weight of the ice still clinging to them holding themselves ready to strike with their formed blades as he pulled his blade from the dirt, swinging it casually and holding it ready for combat.

"So you were in battle rings?" They began slowly circling each other, he could see them struggling limping for the ice on their body, it was almost a shame they were a good fighter just not good enough to survive him.

He swung at them and they blocked their blades colliding with force which reacted explosively throwing them both backwards away from each other, his front bruised from the explosion and energy outlet while bruises quickly formed on the back of her hands going up her arms from where it collided with her body in turn, blood dripping from the wounds on the back of her hands left behind from her protrusions while blood ran down the inside of his fingers where both his hands had been cut up from his own blade.

His breathing was a bit heavier as he watched them breathing heavily in turn, he could see their hands shaking from her injuries. He collected himself for a moment taking a moment to eye them, watching as they took a chunk of ice off of their body holding it in their palms.

Dark type energy started to collect around his hands as he prepared himself to continue the battle. They snapped their palms together and broke the ice chunk in their hands which created a thick foggy cold white shot out around the meadow.

Syn snarled at the sheer fridgedness of the air as he brought his arm up to protect his eyes from the ice shards in the gusts created from that trick. Bits of frost and snow clung to and cold burned his skin before he created a psychic burst that dispelled the icy mist.

He moved his hand to brush off the frost and bits of snow as he stood alone in the meadow and despite his annoyance he did chuckle slightly at the fact they'd actually managed to escape.

Of course they wouldn't have escaped him forever, he'd find them again he's sure. The pink one had been satisfying but he craved more, and he desperately now wanted a taste of the orange hued one especially after such an exhilarating fight. He wanted to know how she could use those moves… He exhaled before carefully picking up the backpack that had been abandoned in the rush to escape, stolen food would do until he found something more living or ran into them again.

[p2harmony]

good p1harmorning !!

[loverboybrightsideghost]

8, 10, and 14 for the wip ask game?? :)

8- in ten words or less, what are the themes of the piece, intentional or otherwise?

the idea for this fic spawned from me remembering that aziraphale “doesn’t need sleep” and thinking that maybe aziraphale never has slept, so i thought it would be nice if he and crowley had a silly little sleepover. at first i didn’t think it really had any notable themes other than “wouldn’t that be cool,” but upon further thought, i would say the themes are: healing, discovering your own autonomy, letting go (of a variety of things), and probably something about the power of friendship i think. oh and something about transitionary periods in life too.

10- what do they currently need?

on the large scale, to step back, re-examine their existences and decide what to do with themselves, but in a more immediate sense, to get wasted and then get un-drunk, play some scrabble or something and have a good long nap :)

14- what do you like about this WIP?

i think i’m succeeding at striking a balance between imitating the writing style of good omens the book (which i absolutely love) and my own writing style, which makes me very happy. i also think that it’s pretty funny; it starts with aziraphale unintentionally scaring the shit out of a tax inspector guy with his perfect accounting (and then crowley on purpose scaring the guy to be an asshole, lmao).

[official-rolli-und-rita]

10, 11, 12, 32

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Depends on how strong the feelings are, and how overwhelmed i am to begin with. Also, i've started focusing on how to deal with my feelings instead, so i think i've gotten worse at hiding them. I just don't do it much anymore. But yes, i think i'm mostly pretty good at it still.

11. are you listening to music right now?

I've listened to music the entire day, bc it motivated my friend and i while cleaning. We listened to my playlist (stromae, abba, a bunch of songs from pitch perfect, måneskin, cro...), And hers, which consists of the same stuff as mine, but with the added bonus of being 90% german schlager that middle aged men drink beer to in bars.

12. what is something you want right now?

Honestly, sleep. I woke up at 5:30 today (i hour before my alarm) bc i was so exited about moving, and i have been doing nothing but clean, assemble furniture, and unpack boxes for 15 hours with a grand total of about 3 hours of tiny breaks in between. My back and my hips are killing me. So is my head.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Mainly girls. It's hard to define 'friend', bc i have like 3 or 4 ultra close friends and then a lot of people that i like to meet for coffee occasionally. But most of them are definitely girls.

Also my friend who has helped me all day (and even drove me to ikea spontaneously) told me that she loves me and she's glad that we have the kind of friendship where we help each other like this without hesitation. She said this while cleaning MY kitchen at 8 am!! And all she got out of it were some free train rides, cleaning products, and a thai takeaway for dinner with us! Sorry i know this wasn't the question but it made me so happy that i just have to share it 😊