#would do this to chance and two time but i am unfortunately still in pain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mins-fins · 5 months ago

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beyond the moon !

"you aren't about to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby".

synopsis: breaking news: the worst possible person you know is actually more than half decent in bed. of course, it's an easy slam dunk. you will begrudgingly admit that jaemin is pretty nice on the eyes—even if he has the personality of a barbed wire. it's a match made on this soul sucking earth. it's only a little perfect.

pairing: na jaemin x male!reader

genre: alternative universe, main hospital scenery, somewhat grey's anatomy fusion, interns the fic, strangers to rivals to rivals who hookup to friends who hookup to lovers, fluff, some angst, slightly suggestive tones, humor, crazy ass pining that's barely realized until 10k words in, some background relationships that provide other drama

warnings: swearing, explicit language, so many mentions of sex, almost tiptoes into borderline smut like five times, sexual humor, reader and jaemin are both equally emotionally underdeveloped and horny, drinking, the impending stress of the medical field, mentions of death, a bunch of medical jargon you probably don't care about, mentions of surgical procedures, some blood.. i think thats it

word count: 16.7k

notes: hello, merry christmas, happy one year anniversary to my hyuck work which started my whole nct saga on tumblr.. im afraid i am very mentally ill 😓 so!! surgeon jaemin!! originally surgeon jaemin was a serial killer but then i lost wave of that draft over the summer and i tried to do it again 😚 this was half based on early greys anatomy because why the fuck is that show so long and um my own life lowkey?? ofc im not sleeping with my fellow interns but i have seen too much of a hospital i have begun to see the white corridors in my fucking dreams.. save me please life has not treated isa mins-fins well 😭😭 and NO dont listen to user junjiie this is not a self insert i swear!! im still going to the hospital later today soooooooo i lost anyway 🤷‍♂️ lowercase intended as usual and last long work of the year 💖

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 1: do ethics matter when the dick is good? (hyperbole.. actually not)

frankly, it began on a mundane tuesday.

well as mundane as a tuesday for you could be, a week following getting dumped would typically be dedicated to mourning but guleum grace hospital is equally as busy each particular day. you did not underestimate the sheer amount of regular patrons at hospitals, your internship was all about that in fact, pouring your blood sweat and tears into some amateur surgery you had about a twenty five percent chance on performing correctly, however, any chance was any chance.

it isn’t as if you were some lunatic brisked with insanity who valued his work in an irregular fashion, you’d surmise that you were a regular workaholic, the epitome of an overworked medical student stereotype, it all sucked the soul out of you, though your scrubs remained spotless and the eye bags stuck in a much acquainted manner.

unfortunately, your heart attack inducing student debt won’t allow for you to simply quit, neither will your pride, your extent of competitiveness, and your bright need to prove your overbearing parents wrong.

getting into a deathly inviting internship program is enough, what’s shit is surviving, and surviving would be easy if not added on by such a nuisance.

what nuisance? you may ask, well the nuisance that so happens to b—

��present the case l/n”.

you somehow retain your sigh, if the distress is displayed through any means of visibility then doyoung merely doesn’t give a shit. “uh— samuel lawson, fifty two, has been in and out of hospitals four times in the last three months with complaints of sporadic, mild to moderate pain in his chest. we picked up on a heart murmur and his echo showed left ventricular hypertrophy with a repolarization abnormality”.

“what would you recommend?”

“the best course of action is to replace his aortic valve with a porcine valve and prescribe anticoagulants to improve the prognosis”.

“good, and why do we want to pay attention to his kidneys in this situation?”

“his kidneys?” you echo, former exhaustion manifesting in the unscathed widening of your eyes. there’s a whistle, lee donghyuck opting to feign forgetfulness to your very presence, as if he even knows the answer.

you aren’t as easily absentminded, you’ve been hard of thinking recently, read all those printed words yet none of them stuck to the confines of your brain. there’s then a sigh, you initially assume from doyoung, but of course it isn’t.

“ah dr na, how kind of you to join us, perhaps you could remind me of the answer?”

arms folded over his chest, jaemin doesn’t miss a beat. “since his heart isn’t functionally effective his kidneys work as a compensatory mechanism, we’ll need to take increased renin and aldosterone secretions into account when considering general anesthesia and how soon he can go into surgery”.

“i see somebody has been doing their homework” you graciously avoid his eyes, glowering in jaemin’s direction as he offers a meager eyebrow raise. “good job na, you’ll definitely be scrubbing in”.

you pray for his early death.

it’s a seamless lesson whilst interning, competition is everything; you love competition, you live for it even, and na jaemin just so happens to be the nuisance which troubles your every week.

it’s something to even survive your first year of interning, let alone in time for when the seven year residency rolls around. only the best become surgeons, a perfectly manufactured system that is definitely not flawed and has most likely not been the cause of many related mental breakdowns.

you’ve had some undisclosed issues out with na jaemin since the beginning of your program, his awareness manifests in his knowing glances, if swiping cases from under your feet and making your life as hellish as possible is equated to diverting entertainment, na jaemin is elated. at least he has the familial connections to ensure the acclaim, the regarded son of na kiwoo, one of the most well revered orthopedic surgeons in the country. now you aren’t petty enough to spew the claim that na jaemin is bad at his job, he isn’t, however, you are petty enough to state the fact that him getting extra time to redo the practical board exam would’ve never been granted to anybody not with the same fucking last name.

and you suppose somebody else could also reign as worthy competition, but you’re conceited, unabashed in the likeness of your own smarts, you didn’t brave the trenches of medical school to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby.

it’s about half past twelve when huang renjun stumbles into the on-call room.

“you drinking on the job?”

he glares, you smile, there’s something concerning his anger which gets a satisfying kick out of you. you were sat at a desk, overloading on coursework you’d give not even a mere glance toward once you got home, the placid diagrams of human arteries burned into your brain. you spent most of your day, resounding to most of your shift, hanging about downstairs in the E.R, handling skimpy stitches from those who couldn’t help but do something idiotic on a saturday morning. who knew? you’re aware dr. kim probably holds a much lowered opinion of you; however, you still preserve hope that he’ll allow you to scrub in on that upcoming LVAD replacement he has scheduled for later in the week.

“can you believe who got to scrub in on that corpus callosotomy?” his undertone indicated irritation, you did not have to take a glance backward, you could distinctly picture the snuggle frown tugging at his lips.

“can i buy a vowel?”

your response earns a hefty scoff, the ghost of a smile lingers as you take in his much visible exasperation. it appears he wants to look intimidating, but his docile like features do not sell such a point home. “kim wonil, can you believe it!?”

“oh really?” you click your tongue, the raise of an eyebrow paired with the raise of a nearby head, it’s lee jeno’s, you make out. “wow, maybe i should start sleeping with mark lee too”.

“well it’s not like anyone knows if they’re sleeping together— he’s basically just his protégé” what a gentleman lee jeno is, feigning unawareness at the whole thing.

“uh huh, me when i’m fucking the only attending neurosurgeon” you seethe. “seriously, you think he’s taking any under the table offers?”

“you’re an asshole”.

you simply blow renjun a kiss.

whilst renjun may be adamant on the whole civilized pursuit, you would say that sleeping with one of your bosses basically equates to getting favored treatment, you suppose your wavelength on that won’t ever change. “is that coursework?”

your eyebrows raise once renjun leans over your shoulder, you don’t make an effort to nod your head. “that’s coursework, what the fuck are you doing?”

“i’m not about to have a splitting headache at home, trying to keep my sanity intact, you know”.

“more like wither your sanity— oh, hey jaemin”.

“hi” jaemin allows renjun the decorum of a smile, because for some reason renjun is the only other intern he has the gall to treat in the manner of a regular human being. he settles in the bed across from you with a look and doesn’t even try a glance in your direction, muttering a small greeting to jeno.

“do you want ibuprofen? i have some in my locker” renjun mutters softly.

you wave a dismissive hand. “no, i’m seriously about to max out on painkillers right now”.

“maybe it’s a tumor” jaemin unexpectedly adds, he doesn’t look up from a book.

“you wish”.

“i do”.

“it could be a caffeine headache” jeno helpfully reckons from where he is across the room, leaning up on his elbows to give you a sympathetic look.

“or the stress” renjun decides. “or your just sleepy because of the stress, i’m getting tired because of the stress” he then makes his way over to the dormant bed and flops right onto it.

“tumor~”.

“why the fuck do you care?”

“i most certainly do not”.

“drop dead asshole”.

“guys..” jeno weakly begins, glancing between you two as if silently picking a side.

“sorry” you feel little remorse towards the tumor hopeful fuckface, simply for everybody else. “the exhaustion is making me mean”.

it appears that a nearby zhong chenle utters the insult of you’re always mean somewhere above you, and then the room grows claustrophobic for you in about five more seconds.

when your chair emits a high pitched screech, renjun’s head rises. “where are you going?”

“gonna find something to do”.

then you shuffle out of the on-call room, feigning ignorance at na jaemin’s continuous stare.

later that week, the one person you observe when you walk into the on-call room on wednesday for your mid-shift nap is na jaemin, the current bane of your existence. you’ve been bumping shoulders in the O.R for the past week, and you’re beginning to think that the world is attempting to kill you early, those mystifying forces rambled about in storybooks manifesting whenever his name happens to appear in your mind.

you pause once you step in, meeting his eyes for a charged second before clenching your teeth, they’ll probably begin bleeding soon. you starkly consider backing out, but you can’t surrender your pride to this guy, that would be letting him win, so you sigh and lean your back against the door.

“i’m just here to sleep,” you voice. “waving my white flag”.

“you should be thanking me”.

you’re baffled. “excuse me?”

“i’ve saved your ass like twice this week, god kim would’ve literally eaten you alive if i weren’t around”.

your mouth dries up, jaemin seemingly revels in such a factor, swinging his legs sideways and out of the bed. “you’re terrible under pressure it’s a wonder you even made it through medical school”.

your left eye twitches, the one singular time you try to be civil, he just— he just decides to..?

“you’re so infuriating and arrogant and selfish—“

“oh really? love it when you talk down on me..”

“and you’re so— annoying god why does everyone like you? i hate you, hate you and your stupid privilege and i couldn’t care less what you think because you’re a fucking suck up! stop backing me up if it makes you so mad”.

jaemin then blinks, slow. “finished now?”

“yes” you drop your arms at the side, breathing having gone shallow as pure fury swirled in your ribs. you hate what jaemin does to you, whatever the fuck this is and why is the rooms temperature skyrocketing? that should be impossible in a hospital of all places, but you shouldn’t give it much thought because jaemin will probably begin over analyzing the singular movements of your facial expressions.

you hate feeling like you’re losing, you feel like your losing even if there’s no prevalent competition, it’s just.. jaemin.

that’s really why.

“good” jaemin replies. “i hope you don’t mind”.

and when he pushes you up against the door you think exactly three specific things in the second it takes for him to do that. 1; jesus this guy goes to the gym how the fuck are his forearms so huge? how is he finding time to hit the gym with such a consistent shift? 2; you should’ve gotten more words in cause oh he got the last laugh, and 3; you suddenly remember you never followed up on that post-op for patient 3109– but then all of those thoughts fly out the window when jaemin leads forward to kiss you.

na jaemin is kissing you, full on lips, hands-on-your-waist kissing you, and all you can do is suck in a breath as you then release a soft sound.

jaemin is ridiculously good at this, all soft despite his rough edges, how funny. he pulled off, taking your bottom lip with him before diving back in.

“i meant everything i said” you pant, even as jaemin pressed you further into the door and your arms wrapped around his shoulders in an effort to continue. you exchanged in a similar manner, frenzied and practically leaning half of him backward with your sheer force.

“i know” he grunts, so effortless in all he does, thumb finding the gap in your uniform which he very much decided to exploit. “but you want me anyway..”

“fuck you”.

so smart y/n, you’re getting into heaven with that one—

he chuckles as he mouths against your neck, light open mouthed kisses along your jaw, tugging at your shirt which acted as an obstacle. “that’s the goal”.

“smart ass”.

“well..”

it was the first and only time.

it actually should’ve been the first and only time, but then again, your decision making is particularly fuzzy.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 2: he’s a hotshot, so unfortunately a hotshot..

you’d been skilled enough to pick out your friends at guleum grace hospital on your first day. frankly you had met a good chunk at the intern mixer the hospital had held a week before you were all due to start, but you were the slightest bit nervous with the whole before day apprehension. lee jeno was an easy one, his timidly boyish attitude made for good company, smile replicated by his eyes as he hung around the refreshments table. he laughed at every single one of your jokes, he was sympathetic to your family predicament, much too familiar with such a thing.

lee donghyuck was similarly not a struggle, he seemingly mirrored many of the traits you found stuck to you and carried around throughout your turbulent adulthood. he clung to your side and assigned you the duty as his titular “person”, whatever that meant.

then there was huang renjun.

it isn’t as if he was unapproachable, per say, he was simply perpetual to consistent avoidance. he exchanged regular smiles yet didn’t divulge any further, somewhat unfriendly and argumentative, especially when donghyuck got on his nerves.

trivially, the only true reason you two became friends is because you assisted him in vomiting up his guts after he’d got a lashing for a mistake in the earlier days. your hand remained on the small of his back for the entire fifteen minutes, and when he finished unleashing his true extent of vulnerability upon you, he threatened you to keep your mouth shut, that threat just so happens to be the bow which ties the knot to your relationship.

renjun is able to refer to the patients as the human beings they are, sensitive and overly stubborn sure, but he’s decent under all the sour looks paired with plentiful insults.

zhong chenle? in a completely different league.

“fifty bucks y/n’s little conquest works at this hospital” he opts to enter, sliding into the spot beside you and exchanging a few looks as if he dumped his life savings onto the table for you to gorge on.

“fifty bucks my wha— how’d you even..?”

“aeri likes to gossip” chenle replies, full of cheek. “and a little birdie told me they saw you leaving the on-call room all flustered”.

“a little— who?”

“i can’t tell you my sources”.

“what if i just had a really good nap?”

“thirty bucks it’s an intern” renjun decides to add on, and you blink his way in sheer betrayal. yes they’re right but you didn’t divulge your weeks ago on-call room hookup story time to anybody, you just.. thought about it.

“that’s what yizhuo was saying! you know we have a bet right?” he digs through his pocket before pulling out an unscathed piece of paper. “let’s see we have dr suh from plastics, yeonjun, dejun, and our very own nepo baby na jaemin, pretty good don’t you think?”

“why is jaemin on the list? take jaemin off the list,” though you swipe for the paper, chenle’s got some fast ass hands.

“no no hear me out, okay? he has my vote because the tension is undeniable but i’m on your side and i don’t think you’ll give into his whims”.

“what whims?”

“his seduction tactic including starting petty fights?” renjun recalls, blinking in your direction as if attempting some newly discovered form of communication. “he probably gets off on that..”

“oh he does!”

and then they begin, you simply sigh as you make the effort to finish your lunch, acquainted with the leftovers you again had to heat up because there was little time for you to actually cook something new.

“jaemin’s a freak, wonil said—“

“we can’t trust anything he says, he’s literally fucking dr. dudebro” you steal a fry off chenle’s plate, humming along with your bite.

“i thought they broke it off?” renjun asks in denial, though his gleaming ‘i knew it’ look would completely beg to differ.

“oh come on! everybody knows they’re still fucking, no mystery, no thrill”.

renjun crinkles his nose at the display of crudeness, you don’t forget to recall the thirty bucks he entered into this godforsaken betting pool. “can i kill him?”

your hands raise in mock surrender. “not in front of me, we swore an oath of peace” you rise from your place and keep your plate in your bag. “besides there’s no mystery, no thrill”.

“don’t leave me with him!” renjun squeaks. “where are you going!?”

you do not let up the walking, however, you allow him at least one reassuring smile.

“to see a guy about a thing!”

in a rare act of perfect timing, you’re just able to sprint to the elevator as soon as it’s closing. by the power of the universe’s most evil, jaemin is the only one inside, and he blankly stares as you hold your folders out to hold the door before ducking in. you hit the button for the sixth floor and begin panting as you lean against the wall.

jaemin barely spares a glance, but his smile says everything. “back for more already?”

“did you tell anyone about us?”

he opts to chuckle at that one. “us? we sleep together once and you’re already thinking there’s an us baby?”

“shut the fuck up, na, like half our class is in a betting pool for when i’m going to let you into my pants so i swear to god if you told anybody i’m going to ship you to the O.R and harvest all of your fucking organs”.

the threat shines brightly above him, smile shimmering. “i’m sure you’d love to do that”.

his smile is endless and the point by which his stare begins is simply dark, it’s that stupid dead-eyed stare that could murder anyone just by one mere glance. if looks could kill, your insides would’ve been splattered all over this elevator currently.

finally, jaemin rolls his eyes.

“christ, relax, no i didn’t, i definitely don’t know anything about a bet either”.

you let out a much needed breath and again allow yourself to lean against the wall of the elevator. the only worse thing than people thinking your friends with jaemin is people thinking you’re actively sleeping with jaemin. well— okay you suppose there are worse things to be known for but being pegged as the intern banging na jaemin is definitely up there.

“i meant what i said by the way, that was a one time thing”.

“of course”.

“stop fucking smiling like that”.

it appears to be his innate need to ensure your irritation, his smile barely resists the clear urge to grow at the sight of your frown. “god, thought you liked my smile?”

“it’s never happening again” you insist. “no more sex, not with you anyway”.

“great” jaemin replies. he finally does turn to face you. “so when you say never again are you actually making a definite final decision or are you simply playing hard to get?”

“what do you think?” you retort, you’re two floors away from your destination, the lab reports you’re clutching much vicely resulting in sweaty palms.

jaemin licks his lips, all high and mighty. “i’m sure you don’t want to know what i’m thinking”.

you look up to meet his stare in a singular effort to glare equally as hard, it’s futile. jaemin’s got the eyes of a predator, as if he’ll pounce if you attempt a single move out of this elevator, it’s striking, his eyes trail all the way up from your terribly expensive shoes and up your body, stopping at your mouth.

he seems pleased with himself, tipping his head forward when the elevator dings at your floor.

you allow a squint, briskly leaving him behind. it’s only three steps out of the elevator that you realize you left him without an answer, therefore leaving him with the last word, but you conclude you’ve walked too far to shout, yet it seems jaemin has no qualms.

“you know where to find me!” he calls.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 3: good sex is addicting! healthy? eh..

naturally it happens again..

and again,

and once again.

if you were in a better place of mind, perhaps if you didn’t contain loads of work on your shoulder and slumped with courses of continuous caffeine, you’d find the right mind to chide yourself for making such a stupid decision, but you’re simply a selfish and desperate man. this is like— the best sex you’ve had since undergrad, not that there were many good examples to be the judge of that one anyway (with little offense given to shotaro, he’s a sweetheart but you two barely ever got it on as it is).

the thing is, you’re beginning to have a little fun with it. sure, you’d felt as if you were betraying yourself after the second or third time but it’s now become its own little adventure. sneaking around and whispering in the hallways in tandem with disappearing into random storage closests is fun.

jaemin is merely jaemin when it’s all over, barbed wire esqe jaemin with a personality you’d liken to some miserable children’s movie villain.

but it works, it isn’t as if you’re doing this because jaemin has a to die for personality, you’re doing it because you’re stressed, despite the fact that he is probably the main contributor of such stress, he at least helps you relieve that stress.

“somethings up with you,” jeno makes apparent when he walks past the couch, casual, conversational.

droning on the television is some nature documentary you don’t recall turning on, acting as background noise as you observe the surgery dr. kim assigned you. you technically aren’t allowed to bring your work home but you’ve also always enjoyed poking holes into rules, you bring your teeth down on a goldfish cracker that you’ve had between your fingers for about five minutes.

“what?” you finally reply.

“you seem different” jeno rewords graciously. “brighter, less.. porcupine-y”.

“i can be mean if you want,” you decide. “you want that puppy?”

jeno turns red, continuous head shaking as he clears his throat. “i just meant— i don’t know, you seem a little less miserable than before, not all grouchy, i’m happy for you”.

“pfft— thanks, always knew you loved me nono”.

his chagrin at such a nickname manifests in his much particular nose scrunch, his arms folding over his chest stubbornly. “don’t call me that.. so anyway, what changed?”

“hm?”

he leans over the couch, staring you down suspiciously, unnaturally nosy. “you can’t just decide to not be miserable overnight, what happened?”

you tilt your head up at him. “i’m getting to scrub in on proper surgeries, and i’m getting laid!”

jeno appears surprised, though gladdened anyway. “oh really? so who’s the guy then?”

you squint at him. “chenle put you up to this?”

“what?” he seems taken aback, but equally completely caught. “no?”

you open your mouth to rebut that clear lie, yet you’re both interrupted by lee donghyuck barreling into the room, looking too good for a regular saturday night, fancy overcoat draped over his arm that he definitely stole from renjun.

“stop looking at me and help me put this on” he motions towards his empty wrist and a fancy looking bracelet.

jeno simply whistles lowly.

“where are you going dressed up like this?” you inquire in the manner of a scrutinizing parent. “you got a date?” you don’t miss his avoidance of eye contact once you actually fasten the thing around his wrist.

“..yes”,

jeno applauds happily, much too excited, as if he were the one going on a date.

“give us a spin” you chide.

“seriously?”

both you and jeno nod in unison.

donghyuck begrudgingly obliges.

“you look good” jeno states.

“very good” you ruffle his hair irritatingly, and he hisses as he bats your hand away, muttering his small thanks. “have fun!”

you make sure to blow him a kiss on his way out, donghyuck makes sure to slam the door on his way out.

jeno then turns to you. “can i guess your guy’s name?”

“no!”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 4: secrets out eventually!!

you suppose you had to eventually tell your friends at some point, of course that would include admitting zhong chenle is right and that sucks the life out of you for a much identifiable reason. the other three are bound to find out about jaemin soon enough, because whilst you’ve never been a talker, it’s getting annoying to do the constant walk of shame to jaemin’s apartment.

“i’m really trying to understand what your problem with me is” jaemin grins, all teeth, perfectly straight purely white fucking teeth. you’re back in the closet again, you can’t help but surmise that there’s a joke in there somewhere.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t, it’s simply so cute how you get angry, kinda turns me on”.

you decide to ignore that one, wiping your mouth over with the back of your hand. you then focus on getting your shirt back to its original, somewhat normal looking form, god you’re so reckless.

“i’m just saying.. if you put effort into actually getting to know me we’d actually be pretty good— fuck ow!” he winces in the manner of a kicked puppy, all because you twisted a piece of skin between your fingers.

“i’m not interested in getting to know you, thought i made that clear” you voice.

“only thing you’ve made clear is that you believe it’s your god given right to hate me since no one else does”.

“oh you make me feel so special, i’m sure there’s someone else in this world who hates you as much as i do”.

“sure y/n” jaemin begins, “i find it hard to believe you actually do hate me” he nips at your ear, you really shouldn’t let jaemin kiss your neck, but you don’t push him off, he’d throw a hissy fit.

just as his hand begins venturing downward the closest door creaks open, and you two jump apart as if you’ve been caught, standing in the doorway is none other than lee donghyuck.

“what the fuck?” he whispers, quickly closing the door behind him. when he steps into the dingy white light, you notice the wet tears against his eyelashes, everything else is erased from your mind.

“hey” you begin, voice soft. “what’s wrong? did something happen?” you smooth over your scrubs.

“nothing” his voice gives it away. “we can’t cry mid shift anymore?”

no, but donghyuck hasn’t cried over a patient in a while, that’s typically your prerogative.

“it’s wonil” he sniffs. “stupid fucking kim wonil,” he sits down on an upturned bucket, once you kneel beside him, he pulls you into a hug to bury his tear streaked face against your neck. “i’m gonna have to change my name and transfer to gwangju instead!”

you look over donghyuck’s trembling shoulder at jaemin, who appears just as clueless as you are. he instead opts to patting the small of his back in support, rubbing soothing strokes. “could i have some elaboration, babe?”

“he used me” he says, holding onto his sobs. “took me on a stupid fucking fancy date and then i caught him with mark lee— oh my god, he.. he lied to me, he said they broke it off months ago but that obviously wasn’t true and he kept scrubbing in on the important surgeries, i thought he— we were going out for months and i just, fuck i feel awful y/n”.

well that’s.. not what you expected to hear at all. your head spins.

“wait— wonil? that’s who?”

“can we not talk about that part right now?” he simply allows for the tears to free fall, you attempt to wipe them as best you can.

sure, it’s nothing.

“did he tell you? how’d you even find this out?”

“no he didn’t i saw them” he covers his face with his own hands, distraught. “and he didn’t even care..”

“then none of it is your fault” you assure, patting the side of his arms. “he’s an asshole”.

it doesn’t quell donghyuck enough, his shoulders continuously quivering. “i had a bad feeling, i really should’ve known better—“

“he’s a cheat, he should know better, don’t beat yourself up over this”.

“i fucking loved him y/n” he rests his head onto your shoulder, something twisted and horrible lodged in his throat, tears endless.

it’s raining because of course it’s raining.

“it’s storming pretty bad” jaemin quips, conversationally. “do you not want me to call you a ride?”

you simply allow a small breath to escape your lips, hair tousled as you slip your jacket on through your arms. “nah, the bus works just fine” you say, wiping your hands on your pants despite your much irritation.

“and i’m guessing you don’t want to wait until it’s let up either?”

“i have to get home cause jeno’s working late and— hyuck’s alone, don’t want him to be..” you mutter, glancing down at your watch as you crinkle your nose at the time. “he’s been baking since the whole wonil thing happened, need to make sure he doesn’t burn down the apartment”.

jaemin doesn’t have to put anymore work into convincing you. “alright, have fun”.

you do the typical before leaving checkup, you have your keys, your phone, cash, and a bus pass, good. it’s silent, awkward, not much of a regular conversation when he isn’t bending you over a table.

but there’s something you really need to know.

“hey jaemin?”

“hm?” he doesn’t look up from his phone.

“should we talk about.. this?”

“well talking about it makes it weird”.

you consider your next words very carefully. “i’m lonely, you know”.

jaemin then puts his phone down. “i’m lost”.

you’re unaware of why exactly you feel the need to divulge context about whatever your relationship happens to be, you keep thinking back to donghyuck and you remember the liabilities caused by workplace relationships. you’re afraid you can’t stomach another complicated relationship, situations that wrap around your head in a nauseating fashion. not that jaemin is boyfriend material or anything but—

“the first time we hooked up? in the on-call room? i did it because i just got off a bad breakup and i was stressed and.. you were my first option”.

jaemin remains frozen in his place, gaze pointed, chest perfectly accentuated in his shir— stop looking there y/n. “what i’m trying to say is that i was desperate and it’s important you know that because—“

“get to the point”.

“i don’t want this to.. you know, be more than what it is, like.. domestic and shit”.

“oh jesus, okay y/n” he pinches the bridge of his nose, as if you irritated him. “you’re asking me not to fall in love with you right? you could’ve just said that then”.

“it sounds stupid”.

“and your other option sounded better?”

“whatever, i’m going, good talk”.

“great talk”.

“stop trying to get the last word in”.

“i’m not trying to do anything”.

“goodnight”.

“don’t say things you don’t mean”.

“fine, i hope you have a terrible one, i hope your roof catches on fire and you sleep through it and it all comes crashing onto you so your death is all slow and painful, happy?”

jaemin smiles, waving you off with each of his fingers as you storm out of the door, into the pouring rain, slamming it shut behind you.

you take a short walk and an even shorter bus ride home, yet when you enter your apartment you’re absolutely drenched.

the whole house smells of sugar and semi-baked sweets, it almost reminds you of home, back when you’d fuck shit up with your sisters in the kitchen. the now added on pain is the continuous ringing of the fire alarm, donghyuck standing at the counter fanning smoke with an empty box of brownie mix.

you sigh as you kick off your shoes.

“what the hell did you do?”

“i have it under control” donghyuck whines.

“hyuck—“

“don’t step any closer” he threatens, butter knife in hand.

your hands raise in mock surrender, a flat look sent his way. “you’re being ridiculous”.

“sorry” he puts the knife down, breathing labored. “help me?”

you two sit down on the kitchen floor and have brownies and ice cream for dinner, an ironic feat for a pair of medical professionals, but this is simply one of those things licensed under free will you have as an adult, the kind of thing that makes you think maybe parental supervision is a good need. besides, sugar is good for heartbreak.

“i don’t wanna go to work tomorrow” donghyuck mutters, beginning to consistently tap his head onto the counter, as if attempting to bash his brains out. “this is so stupid”.

“it’ll be fine, i’m sure no one will question you up front”.

he glances upward. “my former sort of boyfriend is fucking the most popular attending neurosurgeon, and people think i was homewrecking whatever the hell they have going, you think people just forget that?”

you lick your spoon clean. “yeah it’s not looking good,” you admit, scratching the back of your head. “but i’m here to help you through it, and samoyed will be there to bark at anyone who looks at you funny”.

donghyuck gives a weak laugh and leans his head onto your shoulder. “yeah yeah, whatever..”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 5: fuck the domestics, fuck na jaemin.

of course because the universe has a really good sense of humor, mark lee and kim wonil are the first people you and donghyuck see when the elevator dings on the first floor. wonil looks at a loss for words, you’d pride him on such amusement if you weren’t looking to cause him bodily harm.

“uh” mark starts.

“we’re taking the stairs” and since you’re a good friend you do not complain when donghyuck drags you up four flights of stairs.

in his valiant efforts to stay away from neuro, donghyuck gets assigned to obstetrics for the day, whilst you end up back with dr. kim in cardio, which is always a simultaneous blessing and curse. the patient you’re seeing—kiara— has been going back and forth on getting the surgery for a while, and doyoung seemed more than relieved when you showed up with those signed consent forms.

you worked your ass off to get onto this case. you stayed up late all night reading into the procedure, designing a diagram which detailed the surgical process despite the fact that you wouldn’t be carrying it out yourself. observing a complex surgery like this is a rarity for interns, so you intend to soak up every bit of knowledge you can.

so, by design, you’re also standing beside the operating table when her pulse dips, her clutched hand falling dormant in your hold. after the frenzy of orders getting called out and defibrillators charging, there’s nothing but the long, insistent beep of a flatline.

dr. kim calls out the time of death.

realistically, nothing could have been done. she’d waited too long to take the surgery, her vascular walls were weak. it was the best surgeons in the room, and if they couldn’t save her then maybe it was just her time.

you break down in the tunnel despite all of that, you’re sitting on one of the beds against the wall, aware of your own ridiculousness, yet allowing for the tears to brim up anyway.

the only reason kiara was terrified of getting that surgery was because she was afraid of dying on that table, she was scared of dying, and you’d held her hand while they put her under, promising she’d be okay.

that was the mistake.

patient outcomes are never promised, and as much as they remind you, as much as you’re aware that this is in your line of work, death just so happens to spring up on you instantaneously, you can never really fully prepare for it.

“she was going to die anyway” you don’t have to glance up to meet the face behind the voice, simply acquainted with the sight of jaemin’s shoes.

“i know”.

“so why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

you sigh, massaging a finger to your temple, your head hurts, it all hurts. “go away” another sob pushes itself up out of your chest, another sniffle, more snot.

but would na jaemin ever genuinely listen to an order? absolutely not. he did not go away, he stepped closer, a hand gracing your shoulder.

your own shoulders slump, you’re completely and utterly disappointed in yourself.

“i don’t need you to say anything,” he breathes. “i’m just telling you that it’s okay..”

“it’s not okay” you seethe. “would you have made the same mistake? would you be in my position if it was you?”

you take everything too personal, you need to start thinking like a surgeon, there’s no room for sensitivity in a field like this, dr. kim had said. he made you break the news to her family, have to watch the washed over expressions and the chorus of sobbing as you attempted to contain your own.

“well i wouldn’t have gotten attached..”

and it sounds so condescending, lowly, superiority reigned over your head. you’ve had a terrible day, and all you can do is sob in your own pity as jaemin just stands there.

it’s so easy to get swallowed up in your pride, tout your pigheadedness in front of jaemin on a regular front with spouted curses and illusions high. you suppose jaemin doesn’t have the best standards for you, you didn’t even do anything, but the fashion of your personality you’d displayed was enough of a case.

“y/n” jaemin calls, soft, you almost don’t hear him. the mattress dips with his added pressure, a hand coming to touch the side of your face, fingertips cold as they tuck strands of your hair behind your ear. jaemin’s hands are always cold. “y/n, hey”.

you don’t respond, can’t do anything but let jaemin pull you against his chest. it’s an odd feeling because it’s the thing you needed from the last person you expected to give it to you. you exhale shakily, closing your eyes and reveling in the prospect of being held.

“you suck at this” you sob, on principle of course.

“hush” jaemin murmurs. he rests his chin atop your head, and he says nothing more, doesn’t even pull away either. you cry until you have no more left to give, your shift isn’t quite over yet, you have charts to finish and labs to read over. you push at jaemin to let you go.

“m’fine” you sniffle, posture straightening as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. you feel reckless, embarrassed, like a child. your face is burning hot, but at least you feel better. jaemin is staring, as if he’s experiencing a certain thing for the first time.

you look away.

“i’m fine” you repeat. “don’t look at me like that”.

jaemin clears his throat as if snapping out of an episode. “i know you don’t care for my opinion, but i think you’re doing great”.

“you what..?”

jaemin nods, doesn’t elaborate on any of it, it’s awkward.

your pager beeps, and once you glance down at the location, you silently curse at the location being half across the hospital.

“right, um thank you, i guess i’ll.. uh, see you later?”

“you know where to find me”.

jeno seeks you out first once your shift is over, apprehensive as always.

“you okay? i heard what happened..”

“yeah m’fine” you pause before the doors to allow jeno to catch you, donghyuck and renjun won’t be done for another hour, and it’s once again pouring outside. “i just need to shower and sleep for fifty hours”.

jeno is already looking at you when you glance over. you’ve heard your fair share of stories concerning surgical failures, much too close to one when in your childhood, but experiencing one firsthand just really took it all out of you.

“i’m going to get better at this surgeon thing right? i have to?” you ask.

“you will” jeno replies, silent. he links your fingers together, a warm feeling. he then nudges you, the slightest bit of comfort in the affection laced gesture. “we both will”.

there’s a small switch flip after that.

jaemin remains jaemin. perfectly polished jaemin, hardened in the face of death, all precise and unphased, yet you lay your heart bare for it all, fortitude at the forefront of your emotions.

occasionally, you find yourself looking over at jaemin when he’s too engrossed in his work or conversation to notice.

when you observe him, you attempt to figure out where the fortitude of his beating organ lies. it appears jaemin acts in kindness when he thinks no one else is looking. you wonder if that’s a true display or if that’s simply another mask he wears around for the hell of it, getting into the sweet spots of littler kids is a spectacular move. then again, it takes a special kind of evil to be mean to kids. sure, jaemin’s a bit of an asshole, but he isn’t all bloods evil.

that isn’t such a hard concept to grasp.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 6: running out of terrifically timed titles

the tumultuous disarray of your life provides solace, somewhat regular sex escapades with jaemin continue and donghyuck is often too tipsy once you get home from your shifts later in the week. you surmise he’s simply coping with his situation in manners he’s accustomed to, though both you and jeno would love to chide him for the unhealthiness, you two also can’t talk, ever since you found that unlimited espresso machine in the second floor cafeteria, it’s basically become your life source. jeno will scold you for that one when he eventually finds out, though it’s good to know jungwoo doesn’t mind, simply passing you with mild apprehension whenever you go grab another cup.

you guess you can’t talk about anything, but you also can’t help worrying about your friend.

“l/n, did you follow up on those scans i asked for?” dr. kim unabashedly ambushes you whilst you’re in the middle of a good speed powered walk, files almost tumbling out of your bundled arms.

“uh— yes, they redid them so they aren’t blurry, and i also put in that psych eval you requested, i have all of them here”.

“nice work, will you be available to scrub in tomorrow morning?”

you blink at him, baffled. “i— oh my god yes, thank you um..” you honestly didn’t expect that one after the prior incident with kiara. you assumed for sure doyoung would stand between you and the O.R for a couple of months.

“is there a reason you’re still standing in front of me?”

you blush, embarrassed. “i’m sorry i just.. i know you don’t think i’m cut out for this so I’m unsure of why you chose me”.

for a slim moment, there’s genuine in doyoung’s eyes. “well i’ll have you know opinions can change, will you move out of my way now”.

you pause. “of course, sorry, thank you, i appreciate it”.

“you’d better” he beams, placing yet another stack in your arms. “could you drop these off at the nurses station for me?”

you make your way back downstairs, still reeling from the previous words said to your face, when you hear a familiar voice.

“is dr l/n here? well, no— he’s an intern”.

you look up from the nurses station immediately, catching a glimpse of osaki shotaro’s identifiable tuft of hair, golden blonde, still dyed. he hasn’t changed since you last saw him, well you suppose a few months really don’t provide anything substantial in the area of change.

“taro?”

when he glances up, he breaks into one of his bright smiles and he parts (hyperbole) the hallway to get to you. “y/n, hey, hi”.

“what— what are you doing here? is everything okay? is your mom oka—“

“i’m fine, everyone’s fine it’s just.. i mean— i don’t know actually i was just nearby and i wanted to see you? i know i’m the one who broke up with you and all but i was sure there was a high chance you’d be here instead of.. well anywhere else”.

“yeah” you laugh. “yeah that is true”.

“it’s nice to see you” he fiddles with his bracelet, reaching over to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, a natural habit, you grab onto his wrist before his fingers can grace your skin. shotaro pauses for a moment, cheeks colored pink in embarrassment as he slips from your hold.

“sorry— i um.. can we just talk actually?”

your face warms rather quickly. “uh..”

“oh hello” jaemin appears—literally out of nowhere—“are you here for a patient?”

“no actually he was just leaving—“

“i’m shotaro” he tilts his head to read jaemin’s id card. “you’re.. dr na?” he extends his hand for a handshake, jaemin ignores it. you almost want to tell him off for such a thing.

“yes, you must be the boyfriend”.

“ex boyfriend” you both say.

jaemin inhales a bated breath, handing you a stack of files. “jungwoo said to give these to you, the chief needs all the records manually inputted before you get off your shift today”.

“but—“

“we’re all splitting work, that’s your stack and this is mine”.

“i’m supposed to be having lunch” you frown.

jaemin shrugs, nothing of helpful. “do them after, i don’t care, i’m just the messenger”.

“it was nice meeting you”.

“sure” jaemin flashes a noncommittal smile, then, as quick as he came, he’s gone.

“is he always like that?” shotaro inquires, you sigh, much loudly.

“yeah, kind of, at first glance..”

“so lunch! can i treat you?”

you chuckle. “well i can’t leave so i hope you don’t mind hospital food”.

it’s (surprisingly) a very enjoyable experience for you.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 7: coupling 1000

on tuesday, lee jeno walks into the locker room looking slightly askew, yet completely elated, brightened in some unusual fashion.

you let out a low whistle. “now what the fuck has you so happy?”

“nothing”.

“is it a guy?”

“no!” jeno refutes, the bright red hue paired with the shrill squeaked ‘no’ do naught for his argument. “it’s not that”.

“you have that after guy glow”.

“you’re insane”.

“he’s right though” jaemin wraps an inviting arm around his shoulder, jeno full on pouts. “you look awfully stunning this morning, jeno”.

“fuck?”

“you’re okay”.

“damn, why’s it feel like every intern in this hospital is getting some but me?” donghyuck grouches, you instantly share a look with renjun.

at the inevitable silence, donghyuck groans again. “don’t answer that”.

“yeah cause you’d only be told the obvio—“

“good morning~” kim jungwoo sings, much too delighted for the time of day. “glad to see all of you interns actually in on time, l/n and na you’ll be helping mark prep his patient, zhong and lee one you’ll be in the pit, and.. huang and lee two on charts, any complaints? wonderful! get going!”

mark lee has the discontented mannerisms of a teenage boy, awkward stutters and all, you often neglect to recall that he’s a revered surgeon prided for performing some of the best brain operations in the country, technically your boss.

you haven’t spent much time around him, you actively avoid kim wonil for the sake of donghyuck’s (and your own) sanity, looking into the eyes of mark lee, he appears bashful, shyly boyish in a manner akin to a formerly stranger lee jeno.

“guess he’s still avoidant”.

you snort, jaemin sucks his teeth, you then sigh with your tongue prodding at the side of your cheek. “well he can’t look at you without thinking about..”

now that you think about it, you’ve never really had a conversation with kim wonil, what’s even with the guy?

“oh” his face drops in that distinct kicked puppy fashion, you merely sigh.

“just give him space, okay? he’ll surely come around”.

“space.. really?”

“space is good” jaemin chimes in. “and either way he’s not your intern, we are, can we go now?”

he’s always been ever so impatient.

yang jungwon is a twenty year old college student with a tumor pressing down on his frontal temporal lobe. “it’s affecting his impulse control,” mark warns. “so if he says something a bit forward, that’s why”.

“forward?” you question.

when mark, you and jaemin walk into jungwon’s room, his mother is sitting beside his bed, smoothing over his sheets with her hands. mark bids them good morning and introduces you two as the interns which will be overseeing the surgery, the first thing jungwon says is:

“jesus you all are hot, is that requirement here? why are you all so hot? are there more of you?”

“jungwon” his mother softly chides.

forward, you hum, jaemin only makes an agreeing noise beside you.

“sorry, was that rude? i’m very sorry”.

“he’s usually shy” his mother explains. “he doesn’t mean to be offensive”.

“no offense taken ma’am, that’s probably the nicest thing a patient has said to us in a while” mark replies. “how are you feeling won?”

“my mom’s nervous so now i’m nervous and the food here sucks by the way, i don’t really wanna have brain surgery but i have to be optimistic so yay!”

“that’s the spirit!” mark cheers. “okay, dr. l/n here is gonna run a couple of tests to make sure everything is okay, dr. na will handle all the paperwork, if you still want to proceed i can have you scheduled for O.R two bright and early tomorrow morning, i’ll make sure everything goes smoothly for you okay?”

“can i get snacks from the vending machine to make it go smoother?”

“i’ll do it” his mother offers. “don’t give dr. l/n a hard time, okay?”

mark leaves with jaemin and mrs. yang to grab snacks and necessary consent forms, you begin putting on your gloves to give jungwon a routine examination.

“dr. l/n can i ask you a question?” jungwon asks.

you remove the stethoscope from your ears, giving him a small smile. “go ahead, i’m all ears”.

“well it’s more of a personal question” he twiddles his thumbs, smile stretched widely as he tilts his head towards you. “are you two like.. together?”

“me and who?”

“the other, other hot doctor with all the teeth, the one who was in here just now”.

“me and.. na?”

“yeah, is he your boyfriend? he was looking like he wanted to eat you, i was honestly getting worried by how intense he was staring”.

that shocks a fit of laughter out of you. “no no, he wasn’t—he’s.. he’s not my boyfriend”.

“oh okay, well if nobody’s told you yet then i’m a hundred percent sure he wants to jump your bones, and also be your boyfriend”.

you clear your throat, flustered by jungwon’s sense of earnesty. “we’re not together, just coworkers”.

“do you have a boyfriend?”

you sigh and lean forward, pressing two fingers on either side of his neck to feel for a carotid pulse. “you’ve said the word boyfriend an awful lot in these past few minutes,” you pause. “no i don’t”.

“okay” jungwon says. “this is going to sound a bit presumptuous, but if i survive the surgery, will you go out with me?”

you skillfully sidestep such a question. “that’s not presumptuous, dr. lee is one of the best brain surgeons in the country, he’s going to make sure you come out just fine, your most likely outcome is positive”.

jungwon stops, blinking up at you, galaxies in his pupils. “i think we might be soulmates”.

“yang jungwon”.

“that’s me”.

“you’re cute, and sweet, and funny— but i absolutely cannot go out with you”.

“is it the brain damage thing? i’ve been told that’s a dealbreaker”.

“don’t be cheeky, how old are you again? twenty?”

“twenty going on twenty five”.

you laugh. “you have your whole life ahead of you to find a soulmate, people don’t really have a good time dating me, you’ll be dodging a bullet”.

“what, why not?”

“won—can i call you won?”

“you can call me anything you want..”

“won” you stress, “i spend about eighty hours a week in this hospital, i barely have time to eat or sleep or even think about anything that doesn’t include cutting someone open, my last boyfriend dumped me for that reason, i couldn’t do that again, and i definitely don’t think you want to”.

“ah i see” jungwon says, he’s silent for a while before he asks: “you’re saying it would make sense for you to date someone who works as much as you do, like another doctor, right?”

“well that wasn’t the point but i guess that makes sense then”.

jungwon smiles as if he’s figured out something. “so do you like dr. na then?”

“dr. na is standing right there” jaemin chimes in. you two both turn to see him standing in the doorway, “i have consent forms, i already went over the procedure with your mom, i’m aware mark probably covered it with you, but if it would make you more comfortable i could go over it with you myself”.

both you and jungwon stare at him.

“what?”

“is he always like this?”

you smile in his direction, giggling as you ruffle his hair. “yeah”.

“didn’t peg you as the type to flirt with patients” jaemin utters later in the nurse station whilst you two idle around in feigned ignorance as if you don’t have mountains of work weighing on your shoulders. jungwon had personally asked for you to scrub in on his surgery, and it’s clear jaemin was just the slightest bit envious, you would be too if in his shoes. mark’s surgeries are always the most fun to watch.

“i wasn’t flirting, he was simply asking invasive questions so i entertained him, he’s a nice kid, it’s called having good bedside manners”.

“are you saying i don’t have good bedside manner?”

“your words, not mine”.

“i don’t care, you were definitely flirting back”.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t”.

“well there’s your answer”.

jungwon comes out just fine, you and jaemin however, you take a while to recover.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 8: well i guess he’s fine..

at the end of the week you typically only prefer to gorge on the junk food remained tucked in your refrigerator and embrace the warmth of your bed, but everybody knows you don’t always get the things you want, especially you in your kicked rock of a life.

“are you ready?” renjun bounces on his heels, changed out of his scrubs already, breathing down your neck in an effort to fasten your process of changing.

“what are you all doing tonight?” jaemin inquires, suddenly nosy.

“well i wanted to go home to eat ice cream then sleep all night, but since it’s the last wednesday of the month and we have tomorrow off renjun wants to go do karaoke at the local bar”.

“it’s kind of our tradition!” jeno offers, he’s sat down on one of the benches, lacing up his dunks. “you should come with us, drinks are half off until midnight”.

“you should come! it’ll be so fun, y/n has the voice of an angel”.

your cheeks color red in embarrassment. “well actually—“

“stop trying to be humble now, just admit it” renjun then turns to jaemin. “please? you literally never hang out with us”.

you can’t see renjun’s face, but you know he’s using that pleading puppy look to sell his point.

you watch jaemin crumble in real time.

“alright, guess it couldn’t hurt”.

what hurts is your throat after demolishing a flurry of early 2000s hits. now your ears are beginning to pain as renjun, donghyuck and chenle go head to head, they’ve rapped to super bass three times in a row, and donghyuck continuously doubles over in laughter whenever chenle messes up a single lyric. you aren’t complaining though, this is about the happiest you’ve seen donghyuck in the week, it makes you feel all warm seeing him laughing and all full of bashful insults.

jaemin has been nursing the same beer since you’ve arrived, tucked away on the couch in an effort to not participate in such nonsense. it dawns on you that you normally don’t hang out with him outside of the hospital much, and you wonder if he even has friends outside the hospital.

before you stop yourself, you’re wriggling out of jeno’s lap and making your way over to jaemin. he looks over when you get close, eyes traveling from the loose neckline of your shirt to your face.

“hiii”, you greet.

“hello, you’re drunk”.

“just a little” you giggle, hiccuping on nothing. “you look all moody and broody in the shadows, are you not having fun?”

“i am, you guys are just..” jaemin pauses, again glancing back at the scene before seemingly taking back a few words. “i am”.

you hum, whistling in the air. “i need some fresh air, come with me?”

jaemin nods, following behind you in the manner of a shadow out of the establishment. you two end up sitting on the sidewalk, chilling air offering you solace as you attempt to sober up.

it’s chillier than it was before, but you bask in the cold instead, short sleeves acting as nothing of a barrier.

“that was quite the performance back there” jaemin says quietly.

“thank you, yeah i can’t compare to donghyuck but singing is.. you know, just a hobby”.

you shiver offhandedly, jaemin observes for a while before offering you over his jacket, caging it around you in his lingering warmth. you yearn to comment on it, he practically dares you to, so you take it in silence.

“you know what would be amazing? a hot spicy bowl of kimchi jjigae”.

it’s been a while since you’ve been able to cook a genuine meal, the shifts take it all out of you and turning on any kitchen appliances gives you anxiety after a long shift. eating is a whole shove and go sort of a thing, you don’t pay much mind to it anymore. “now why would you put that in my head? i’m hungry” you whine.

“i know a good spot near the hospital, their stuff is like home”.

you ignore the mention of home.

“you’re just making it worse”.

“sorry” jaemin is not sorry. “maybe we can go together after work sometimes”.

“oh, like with the other interns? that’d be nice..”

jaemin looks caught, he swallows down nothing. “no i mean.. just us”.

you freeze. “oh”.

“what? having sex with me is okay but dinner is completely out of the question?”

“no” you reply defensively. “it’s just— us, you know? we can’t even go a few words without arguing, we don’t do dinner, the only thing we have in common is that we’re stuck up surgeons, we don’t do dinner”.

jaemin presses his lips into a flat line, the kind of thing he does when he’s looking for something nice to say. “we’re friends”.

you almost lurch forward, perhaps drinking was not a good idea. you blink, completely knowing of your upcoming decision.

“you know what? yeah, let’s get dinner”.

“right now?”

“no time like the present!” you shout, holding your hand out for jaemin as you rise from the sidewalk. he takes it, intertwining your fingers as you haul him off the ground,

“what about the others?”

“they’ll be fine” you excuse. “come on”.

you realize belatedly that it’s about midnight, which means most, if not all restaurants serving kimchi jjigae are closed. you two end up at the popular twenty four hour ramen spot instead, and you take time to sober up as you two wait in line. hanging off jaemin’s arm, you simply allow your head to lean against his shoulder, the other making no room for little complaints, you’ll regret being all clingy in the morning, but for now, it’s all up in the air. the waitress who seats you eyes you in that knowing way, she thinks you two are a couple, you decide to not correct her, there’s no benefit, she ensures a comment about how cute you two are.

“first thing i want to do after getting my license is..” jaemin begins. “treat the uppers at one of these places, like a celebratory dinner”.

“ramen for surgeons?”

“basically”.

you hum, tongue hot, all warm. “you wanna split this with me?” you inquire, referring to the takoyaki before you on a plate.

“can you even eat all that?” jaemin poses, clicking his tongue as he eyes the spread of appetizers. you aren’t a quitter, especially after a week of subpar meals you didn’t even bother turning on the stove to create. you raise your plate in his direction, offering a takoyaki ball which he takes a stab at.

“have you always wanted to be a surgeon?”

jaemin sighs. “we don’t have to do this”.

“do what?”

“the thing where we ask each other questions and pretend to care about the answers”.

“i do care” you press. “aren’t we friends? answer the question, minjae”.

“is that supposed to be a nickname?” jaemin grumbles. you’ve always had a knack for nicknames, jeno your main victim. “it sucks”.

“answer the question”.

he sighs again, but this time he’s smiling. “i mean, guess i always had the feeling, i was obsessed with that surgeon game when i was younger, i would sneak into my dad’s office and read up on all of his procedures, i read a lot of his stupid textbooks and was hooked forever”.

“oh”.

“yeah”.

“well it probably helped your family’s full of doctors huh?”

he pauses. “not really”.

you stop for a moment. “your dad is na kiwoo, he’s crazy good at his shit, he invented a whole new way to transplant bone marrow! your uncle is literally the chief of surgery at the hospital we intern at!”

you probably appear nerdy, you scratch the back of your ear, somewhat embarrassed. jaemin stares, clearing his throat. “my parents didn’t want me to become a surgeon”.

you are absolutely gobsmacked, jaemin goes through the effort of physically putting your jaw back in its place. “seriously?”

“absolutely, they did everything to make sure i wouldn’t get into the medical field, wanted me to get some bullshit sports scholarship, they refused to pay my tuition and basically said i ruined their dreams of having an olympian son so i went no contact”.

you scoff. “god”.

“right” he grins, though there’s little genuine. “i tried so hard to get into any program that didn’t have to do with guleum but look where i ended up”.

you blink as you attempt to process the influx of information. “but you’re destined for greatness— you’re your parents’ legacy”.

he dismissively waves. “it would be great if they cared, they have their noses buried in their work, can’t believe they thought i wouldn’t take it personal”.

“you’re still mad?”

“what do you think?”

and then he chuckles. you deliver a small smack to his shoulder, along the lines of an affectionate gesture. “they’re dickheads, you’re gonna be one of the best surgeons in the world, besides me”.

jaemin is now the one who’s surprised. “did you just compliment me?”

“hm.. think you’re hearing things”.

“sure” he stops. “so what about you, then? what got you into this program?”

your nose scrunches. “my sister, she always had complications growing up but she had to get a lobectomy when she was young because she had a tumor, after that she couldn’t talk for a while, we spent a lot of time at the hospital so that’s where the interest came from”.

“i didn’t know you had a sister”.

well you didn’t exactly care. “i have three, never a moment of peace”.

“oh i bet”.

your expression falters for a moment. “dad and mom didn’t want me to, get into the medical field that is, they thought i couldn’t do it, said it was a future depicted in failure and that i’d quit at the first loud shout”.

“you? quit?”

he appears genuinely shocked by such a revelation. “are you surprised?”

“kinda” he mutters, opting to glance directly at you. “you’ve always been so persevering, can’t imagine you quitting anything”.

you shrug. “they weren’t around much, i had to kinda fend for myself with three girls running around”.

“well you did it didn’t you?”

“yeah, all those my little pony reruns and sugar cookies” you muse, shaking your head. “i should not know as much as i do about that show”.

jaemin laughs at that one, and you can’t help the pride which swells in your chest. you belatedly realize that you’re enjoying this conversation, you two haven’t had a petty fight in a while, go figure.

“you aren’t that bad”.

“surprise”.

“so why are you so hellbent on proving it then?”

“preconceived notions go a long way, people hear my last name and think seven thousand different things, it gets tiring trying to prove them wrong, i don’t care anymore”.

but if his voice is anything, then he definitely does still care.

“okay so how exactly do you plan on getting home?” he inquires to you, leftover bags swinging in the light wind.

“the night bus”.

“you don’t drive?”

“i would kill myself” you blurt, and jaemin snorts. “don’t laugh, highways are terrifying, besides, the bus is empty at this time”.

“do they really run now?”

you stare flatly. “of course they do, i memorized the running hours”.

he has half a mind to giggle at that one, you then grab onto jaemin’s hand as you drag him towards the nearest bus stop.

your building lights remain blindingly bright once you finally reach your stop, jaemin following behind you in the fashion he always does.

“you really didn’t have to walk me”.

“i needed to make sure you’re in safely” he emphasizes, as if that makes any sense, he opts for an eye roll to sell the stubborn bit.

“aww, what a gentlemen you are minjae”.

he grumbles at the nickname, though his smile threatens to jump up at every glance.

for the first time since you and jaemin eloped, you take a glance at your watch, shocked at it being half past two already. “don’t you have work today? why didn’t you say anything?”

jaemin shrugs, flatly, very jaemin. “you guys were having fun, my shift’s at noon, it’s fine”.

“okay well, goodnight?”

“goodnight,�� jaemin replies, and he leans forward for a peck, it’s short and sweet, by the time he’s done, you realize all too late, cheeks gone red as you instead blink.

“uh” you begin, very intelligent y/n, stellar. “that was.. um—“

“you okay?”

“no! i mean— yes i just, that was nice it was nice..” you exhale, “can i have another one?”

jaemin gives in, cupping your cheeks and drawing you in for another kiss. it shouldn’t go on for as long as it does, but you’re much too embarrassing to admit such a thing, instead you let him do it again, and again, and again, all soft against your lips.

“we probably shouldn’t do that again because..” your lips attempt to twitch up, you try to fasten that sincere expression on your features. “well you know—“

“right, no domestic shit” jaemin smiles, all teeth, so cocky.

you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a smile, turning towards the entrance in order to hide it. “goodnight”.

“goodnight” jaemin lingers for a moment, as if he wants to say something more. however, it appears he changes his mind once you glance back at him, he mirrors your turn back and begins walking off.

it’s not until you put the leftovers away and begin undressing for your shower that you realize you forgot to return him his jacket.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 9: the crush-not-crush phase

jaemin does the friend thing exceptionally well, he relays obscure anecdotes that you giggle at and sneaks in slight jabs when doyoung’s in the middle of an important sentence that has you nudging him in the stomach with your arm.

like right now, he’s droning on about a moment when a nanny almost burned down his parents house whilst trying to cook for him and you’re very much interested, sneaking snorts under your breath.

renjun, jeno and donghyuck all arrive, tapping you on your shoulder, you turn to glance with the slightest confusion.

there isn’t an exchange of words, they simply observe jaemin until he smiles, making up a story about having to go check up on a patient.

they all silently watch him leave.

“why’d you scare him off?” you complain, almost tapering off into whining territory.

“i just want to know what’s up with you two” renjun finally says.

you groan, donghyuck pushes as he takes a seat beside you. “we are not having this conversation again”.

“is he your friend? your boyfriend? an eight month conquest? your shotaro replacement?”

“why does everyone think we’re dating—“

“i ran into him when he was leaving your room this morning” jeno drawls, flat, irritated in that soft way he always is. “i’m about to ask him to start pitching in on the water bill”.

“he’s not over that often”.

your argument falls flat at donghyuck’s eyebrow raise. “he has been this month, do you like him?”

“okay— i hook up with him a few times doesn’t mean i like him”.

“you two keep sneaking off every time we hang out, you basically made him our new pseudo roommate and you were doing that thing you do when you like someone”.

“what thing?”

“you get all giggly and playfully mean—“ donghyuck tucks his hair behind his ear and flutters his eyelashes, squealing in what you suppose is a high pitched imitation of your voice; “oh jaemin you’re sooo funny!”

you land a punch, neither renjun or jeno reach to stop your action despite donghyuck’s extensive complaints.

“i’m not— it doesn’t matter, how could i like jaemin? he’s a fucking shark, do you not remember what he did to me in my our first month?”

renjun glances around, as if searching around for a better excuse you could tout. “your point?”

“i don’t like him, i’m not dating him, it’s all for sex”.

“how long has this been going on again?”

you wrack your mind for an answer. “we started right after i got dumped so.. around late august?”

“oh my god” donghyuck says, his eyes blown out dramatically. “you’ve been sleeping with na jaemin for THREE MONTHS!?”

you decide to assault him again. “can you not be so loud?”

“and you haven’t killed him yet? ew, you do like him”.

“i don’t— what does—“

“oh you totally do! holy shit, is the dick that good!?”

when you take a liberal pause, renjun immediately crinkles his nose. “don’t actually answer that”.

“i wasn’t going to”.

“you were having sex flashbacks!”

“was not, get over yourself” you snark.

donghyuck looks one mouth opening away from speaking when mark lee suddenly shows up, plopping himself at your table. “is this seat taken?”

“yes!” you and renjun yell in unison.

donghyuck clears his throat. “actually, you were just leaving weren’t you?”

“we were?” you ask dumbly, donghyuck nods, tipping his head towards the door.

oh, you realize what he’s trying to do.

“right” you begin slowly. “just leaving, just going”.

“me too” adds renjun.

“i haven’t finished my sandwich yet..” jeno pouts, and renjun sighs as he grabs ahold of his collar, dragging him away from the lunch table where you’ll leave mark and donghyuck alone. “c’mon, they have something to fix”.

when you enter the kitchen the following saturday, donghyuck offers you a mere glance from his book before sighing. “jaemin’s?”

“yep” you pop the p, crouching down as you open the fridge, offering a squint as if your aid will magically appear given your gaze. “are we out of grapes?”

“jeno ate em all, why?”

“nothing, guess i’ll just starve”.

“are you gonna sleep over?”

“i don’t know..”

“sounds close to a yes”.

you glare, donghyuck chuckles.

“practice safe sex youngling!”

you flip him off, he offers you a kiss instead. “sure”.

“enjoy your weekend off!”

you pause before the door and turn back to give him a look, itching to ask a question you’re aware doesn’t have a definite enough answer. “so.. is everything good between you and mark now?”

“i’m working on it” he says, “just working on it”.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 10: blurring the line just a bit

you stumble into jaemin’s room and fall into his bed with your legs tangled. you feel warmth encapsulate you instantly. there’s lightheadedness, as if you’re drunk, intoxicated by the familiar scent of simply jaemin. his hair is in his eyes, yet for a long moment he simply stares. you doubt there’s a definitive way your imperfections could be glimpsed at in the vague orange lamplight, a small frown tugs at your lips.

“what?” you whisper, tentative.

“nothing” jaemin replies, equally silent. “it’s just— you’re just.. you look pretty like this”.

you blank for a moment, brightening yet attempting to shove it downward, reddened. “good, thought you were about to change your mind”.

“hush”.

when jaemin leans down to kiss you it’s soft, and your brain does that stupid malfunction thing once again, you sort of don’t know what to do with it. it’s syrup slow, the way jaemin licks into your mouth and his fingers trail up underneath your shirt, like you two have all the time in the world. you take in a long breath, tugging impatiently at his shirt which acts as a hurdle for you. he chuckles, you feel his smile against your own growing one.

you frown, such an expression heartens jaemin to no end. he’s torturing you, pressing slow soft presses against your soft skin, each press marked by his growing smile as he drags his mouth across each particular edge, exponentially leisure, nothing of vigor and more of attention to specific details. you squirm gradually, jaemin digs the pads of his fingers into your hips to hold you still in place, there’s a gentle edge to it that makes your head spin.

“hey” you tug at jaemin’s hair, and when he glances up at you there’s that huge urge to punch him, or maybe kiss him, do a crazy combination with the grin he’s sporting. “could you— fuck speed it up”.

“don’t you rush me y/n” he drawls, blinking up at you through his terribly beautiful eyelashes. “today is special”.

“it can be special when you get to it”.

“so bossy, maybe you should be in control then”.

despite his clear amusement, lingering insults on his tongue, jaemin again leans down to kiss you. it seems he enjoys that aspect, you don’t let go of his hair, hand on the back of his neck pressing him closer. it’s a good kiss, the slightest bit scary to you. you think you could get used to this, get accustomed to the sight of his dirty blonde hair and his hands pressing into the skin of your hip, possibly leaving marks.

it seems a little scary, but it also seems.. well, it makes you have all those mushy feelings you shouldn’t be having, feelings you’d have a heart attack at having three months ago.

you suppose you are blurring the lines a bit here, teeth ground and face buried into his neck, as if you were attempting to crawl into his skin. jaemin holds you and talks you through it like a lover would, it does terrible things to you, terrible terrible thoughts swirling around in your brain.

in the morning, you awake alone. you lie there for a moment, sunlight peeking through the curtains, then you allow your head to fall once more, taking in a deep breath which inadvertently means you’re smelling jaemin’s pillow. you shake your head instantly at such a thought, it’s really all over for you.

you settle for a moment before finally rising from your place, more of rolling off jaemin’s bed and almost breaking your bones with the fall on the floor.

you go through the motions, brushing your teeth and attempting to fix your hair, eventually just leaving it half done. you then venture into jaemin’s closet, grabbing at a random black hoodie and pulling it over your head.

you hear a commotion, head whipping in the direction of the door. you blink, poking your head out of the bedroom door. “jaemin?”

“i’m fine, it’s all fine! nothings burning down”.

you shuffle your way out of his room, feet mute against his bare floor. jaemin has his back to you, in nothing but a practically see through white shirt. “what’s this?”

“breakfast” he muses, eyes seemingly jumping when he catches a glimpse of you.

you lean over his shoulder, nosy as ever, his face is flat. “what?”

jaemin squints. “do you not like pancakes?”

“what kind of question is that? everyone likes pancakes” you reply, breakfast is one of the most foreign meals to you, you haven’t had an actual real breakfast meal in a startling while. “i thought you didn’t like strawberries”.

“they’re not for me” he says, nose scrunched. he uses a fork to cut up the pieces, getting an equal amount of each ingredient before holding it up to your face. “open up”.

“i know how to use a fork myself, you know”.

“open up”.

you drop your mouth open and allow jaemin to feed you, he observes you eat like a hawk. “good?”

you nod enthusiastically.

jaemin smiles, a real, toothless smile that blossoms alluringly over his features. “alright, eat breakfast, then we can go back to sleep”.

you pause, chewing. “i could’ve helped make breakfast”.

“well i didn’t want to wake you” you’re unaware of when he got closer, you opt to not question it, simply allowing his arms to circle around your waist and for him to kiss you once again. his presses are slow, lazy, warm, his sigh in tandem with him pushing you up against the counter.

“can’t i eat?”

“you look good”.

“my hair looks like shit..” you mumble, in response he ruffles it, which earns a grunt as you attempt to escape his hand by leaning backward. “and you just ruined it again”.

“i didn’t do anything” he’s got that smile on again, the one without his teeth, you found you enjoy capturing glimpses of that one much more than you’d ever gloat. “now eat, lord knows how long it’s been since you’ve had breakfast”.

he makes it up to you by helping you wash your hair in the shower, practically putting you to sleep with his ministrations, hand motions paired with a warm stream of water a dealing blow. he lets you do the same for him, sneaking in kisses between rinses to make your time a bit more difficult, water flicked your way resulting in slight squeaks. you spend the afternoon on the couch, bickering over what to watch before eventually settling on a drama you’d been recommended, cuddling closely, though napping quickly overtakes you. jaemin is heavy against your chest, and when you wake up past sunset, there’s a noticeable cramp in your arm, yet it’s the happiest you’ve felt in years.

it’s no wonder things change after that.

you see jaemin in the hallways of the hospital, messy hair paired with eye bags and your heart starts beating erratically. it remains in such fastened motions whenever he sends you a smile at lunch, or when you’re around the rest of your friends and can’t help but just.. stare. your chest warms inexplicably whenever he purposely bumps into you in the locker room or leans against you once he’s worn out, in the manner of a mind reader who knows what exactly such things to do your weak heart.

you’re still hooking up, obviously, but it’s become so ridiculously domestic that you’re unaware of when such lines began blurring.

jaemin brings you coffee, placing it atop the nurses station and patiently awaiting your response, smile akin to a cat bringing their owner a dead rodent as a gift.

you blink at it, then up at him, smiles all high. you recognize the doodles on the cup as from the cafe down the street, yet your mind is still the slightest bit woozy from a frankly terrible three hour sleep. “what’s this?”

“a little pick me up” he replies. “can’t just keep throwing back espresso shots, that’s unhealthy”.

how jaemin even figured that out is something you neglect to mention, you presume he’s some sort of alien mind reader, completely inhumane. you would’ve bitten back with a snarky remark a few months ago, yet it appears your mind is full of gray static now. you shake your head and go back to reading over the patient notes.

“i can’t drink that”.

“it’s your order” he drawls, and your eyes again shoot up.

“what.. uh— shit”.

jaemin pokes at your shoulder, sliding the cup over and encouraging you to take a sip. you’d argue with him, if you could with how he’s staring.

he was right, it is.

“how’d you even..?”

“i have my ways,” he brightens.

“thank you” you whisper.

“it’s nothing” he leans in to dart a kiss to your temple. “take it easy, okay?”

and your world successfully tilts on its own axis, you really need a word for that one.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 11: desperate times desperate looking man

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages,” renjun whispers. you’re sneaking into the NICU between patients, like you typically do when swallowed with work. the tiny preemie babies are so cute, they’re simply giving it their all to survive, it encourages you to keep going in the slightest bit. also did you mention they’re absolutely adorable?

“are you finally moving out? are you taking jeno with you? am i free?”

“i’m not leaving, stop trying to divorce me” you say, smacking donghyuck’s shoulder in retaliation to such words. “has jaemin been acting any weird around you?”

“you mean like— weirder than normal?” donghyuck raises an eyebrow, renjun distracted by cooing at the sleeping NICU babies. you always wondered the extent of dreams infants have, constantly intrigued by such a thing.

“no not really” he replies, nudging renjun slightly in an effort to get him back on track. the older startles out of his admiring daze, blinking in your direction.

“jaemin? jaemin’s always been weird, why are you asking?”

“i don’t know he’s acting.. different, i’m a little worried”.

“different how?” renjun does his award winning judgmental gaze, amping up your consciousness.

“well you know how i slept over at his place last weekend—“

“and spared me the ear bleeding noises yes”.

“shut up, this morning he got me coffee before rounds started, he kissed me and told me to take it easy, since when has jaemin cared about that?”

renjun and donghyuck exchange one mere glance before the latter speaks up; “you know what that sounds like? i think you sucked and fucked your way into a relationship”.

“don’t swear in front of the babies!”

“and don’t ever say sucked and fucked again” renjun glares, nose crinkling in disgust.

donghyuck sucks his teeth, though ignoring renjun’s distinct complaint. “seriously y/n, if you can’t see with your huge fucking eyes that jaemin has something for you, that might be a huge problem”.

your arms drop at their sides, readying up some terrible rebuttal when your pager goes off, you immediately sigh once jaemin’s name pops up. “speak of the devil” you muse.

when you walk into the E.R you spot him immediately.

“hey, what’s up?”

“just need you to come look at something for me” he immediately says. “i have a theory, but i need a second opinion”.

a smug smile creeps onto your face. “are you asking me for a consultation right now?”

he rolls his eyes. “don’t act coy, there’s a lady with glitter glue in her ears, you seriously have to see this”.

you let him lead the way.

it’s eerily quiet in the intern locker when you walk in to grab your phone, one single being in the room, that of na jaemin, lying back on one of the benches, leg propped up. once he catches sight of you, he sits up.

“hey”.

“hi” you reply.

“out or in?”

“out, apparently i hit my eighty hours for the week, jungwoo cut me off”.

“that sucks, i’m on call tonight”.

“that does suck” you hum, shoving your phone in your bag as you eye the suspicious way his leg is propped up. “what’s up with your leg?”

“nothing, it’s just— my knees a little sore, that’s all”.

you frown slightly. “let me see”.

“you know i’m an adult, right? i can take care of myself”.

“hush” you respond, flatly staring as jaemin sits back on the bench, allowing you to poke at the wrap around his knee.

“it’s an old injury” he says. “it’s supposed to be fully healed but it still troubles me sometimes”.

your mouth drops open in a silent ‘ah’, “speed skating, right”.

“yeah, i was just telling choi about it, i don’t know why everyone is so surprised i used to speed skate”.

“you’ve been telling everyone about your secret past? i don’t feel special anymore, na jaemin” you tease. you sit up on the bench, satisfied jaemin wasn’t lying about wrapping it up properly. you’re supposed to go meet your family after this, but you don’t want to leave jaemin’s side just yet, call it obsession.

“relax” jaemin drawls, giving you a salacious wink. “they all know i only have eyes for you”.

you ignore the heat rising in your ears. jaemin has been much more forward with his advances lately, unabashed, little shame, which reminds you—“everyone thinks we’re dating, you know? you’re fueling the fire”.

“you know i don’t care what people think of me”.

liar.

“well i care” you answer. “about us, about.. uh— well, people always talk, you know? makes me anxious”.

“you sure you want me to stop flirting with you? really?”

“yes” you have an airy undertone lacing your voice, eyes sliding towards jaemin’s mouth, you realize lately that all you want to do is kiss him. you’re about fully prepared to when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“you got somewhere to be?”

you shoot off a text to your younger sister to assure her that you will indeed not be late. you meet jaemin’s eyes and hesitate for a moment, though you’re unsure of why. “yes actually i have a reunion, well— not exactly a reunion but my parents want me to come home for some reason, probably gonna try to set me back up with my ex like they do every single time..”

there’s a small shift in his expression. “oh? didn’t they try to do that last week? or was that something else?”

“shotaro offered last week and i couldn’t turn him down, they’re trying to push me back to another ex”.

“ah”.

you pick up your bag and stand to head out of the door.

“i promised my sisters i wouldn’t be late, can’t leave them alone at home, if they make anything good i’ll bring around leftovers” you look over your shoulder. “text me when you get home?”

jaemin neglects to respond, you squint as you look at him.

“jaemin?”

“what? oh yeah, yeah, i’ll text you”.

jaemin does not end up texting.

you’re aware of that because you continuously glance over at your phone whilst your parents mutter on their meticulous jargon, sneaking in less than vague insults pertaining to your character. you keep checking for some sort of ping, a rogue emoji or videos of his cats that he enjoys sending so much. you only get texts from donghyuck asking what kind of pasta noodles he should buy for dinner, nothing else.

“are we boring you?” your youngest sister inquires, her head leaning against her head as she takes liberal glances towards your own phone.

you sheepishly put your phone away, you have no idea what anybody has been droning on about for the past few minutes, and you’re much too embarrassed to ask. “sorry no, please continue”.

later, you get home and crawl into your sheets, swiping the notification bar one last time to see if jaemin sent anything. disappointment. you tossed and turned for a moment, uncomfortable in the air of your room. it’s late, jaemin clearly had a long day and crashed as soon as he got home. he isn’t obligated to text you everyday, especially when you’re both equally busy in your own right. nevertheless, you briefly entertain the idea of showing up at his place just to see how he’ll react.

that would be crazy, you freak, is what your inner conscious speaks. he’s not your boyfriend or anything.

you do wish jaemin were here, though, he warms your presence in just the slightest.

you get up one last time, grabbing a dormant pusheen plushie left on your floor and pressing your face into it, a silent scream escaping your lips. you peer over at your phone one last time, finally deciding to take a leap.

goodnight, you text, pausing. you take a few moments, typing out i miss you a good six times before deleting such an idiotic message, you two saw each other no more than a few hours ago, why would you even send that? your hands are clammy.

maybe he caught something?

in the next minute, you practically jump up on your feet as your message is registered as seen. you sit up on the bed, observing text bubbles pop up and disappear for several minutes. eventually, jaemin settles on simply hearting your message.

he didn’t even say it back, but your heart is racing, and an irreversible warmth encapsulates you. the sides of your mouth curve upward involuntarily as you think of jaemin, his stupid jokes and his wide smile and his messy blonde hair, lying in bed deciding over how to respond to a ‘goodnight’ text. it’s just a text. a mere reaction even, nothing of a true response, yet this is a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.

lovesickness, you realize.

oh lord.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 12: and zhong chenle was right in the end

“fucking finally” chenle’s mouth does that swivel upward and he beckons renjun closer. “pay up”.

“what? no, this doesn’t count, he hasn’t even told jaemin how he feels yet” renjun argues.

donghyuck taps his feet onto the floor, nudging you with his shoulder as he shares a knowing look, you stick out your tongue, though completely anxious about your upcoming circumstances. “told jaemin how i what?”

chenle sighs as if the whole world rests atop his shoulders. “jaemin romances you every single day, cooks for you, buys you cute gifts, asks for free consults and you’re still wondering how he feels for you? you sure you were at the top of your class back in university?”

jaemin walks in then.

“jaemin!”

you internally wince at the extent of your excitement, tone overwhelming. “um.. hi”.

“hey”.

“you never texted”.

“must’ve slipped my mind”.

“cool— uh, listen” over jaemin’s shoulder, chenle gestures you a thumbs up, renjun making a cut throat motion across his neck whilst donghyuck simply observes the whole thing in the manner of daytime entertainment. “uh.. i’m— we’re ordering in tonight, pizza and a movie are you down?”

jaemin opens his locker and doesn’t look at you. “sounds a little boring, sorry..”

“we don’t have to watch the movie” you suggest, screw shame, you’re as desperate as they get.

he blinks over at you, as if attempting to keep himself grounded though looking into your eyes.

“i’ll pass, have fun though” he replies, “see you all tomorrow” then he’s picking up his jacket, rushing out the locker room in an instant, cutting you off quickly. he practically runs into jeno on his way out, startling the other into donghyuck’s personal space.

“what’s up with jaemin? he looks like his cat just died”.

you turn to renjun and chenle. “he just rejected me, right?

“that money is literally mine” chenle grits his teeth.

“you’re all useless”.

by the time you make it to the lobby, jaemin is about finished with his daily wrap up talk with the receptionist, bag over his shoulder and head pointed towards the door. you’re fully aware of how pathetic you must seem currently, but you suppose nothings worse than not getting the truth out of him.

“hey.. hey, jaemin, slow down?”

jaemin blinks again, the irritated furrow of his eyebrows jumping out at you immediately. “what do you want?”

“i want you to talk to me”.

“what’s there to talk about?”

“you— gosh, you’re so confusing, you know? i can’t read minds, can’t you just tell me what i did wrong?”

and how you ended up outside is beyond you, perhaps it was the better decision, after all, arguing in front of the front desk lady is about as embarrassing as it gets.

jaemin scoffs, glancing down at his watch as if he’s unaware of the time, his apple watch lights up and the background is a picture of his cats, the wallpaper is helplessly adorable, it endears you to no end.

“you didn’t do anything”.

“well you don’t exactly make that obvious with how you’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been weird ever since i told you i started hanging out with shotaro again”.

“that— that has nothing to do with it, what you do out of work is none of my business”.

you try not to feel hurt by that one, you’re aware of what jaemin is trying to do. “so what is it?”

jaemin bites into his cheek. “can’t you drop it?”

“no” you refuse, slightly blocking his way though he could probably carry you on a bad day. “you’re going to have to tell me or get through me”.

“are you insane?”

that almost earns a well deserved fit of laughter, you suppose you are at this point. “you’re being immature, we have all night”.

jaemin gives a long hard stare, and you actually think he’s about to push you out of the way, leave you rejected on the cold sidewalk, but then he sighs, picking at the ends of his hair before breaking into a sigh. “i let you down, you know?”

you blank, arms dropping at your sides as you instead give continuous blinks. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

jaemin looks a crossbred of punching you and kissing you. “of course you don’t remember it’s— god you say things and barely even mean them cause you just talk so much, you know? you make me mad cause you do these little things that just piss me off and i just don’t understand you, you care about people so much and you’re so bossy but you’re also so.. cute, and nice, and you’re funny and you always do these things that make me realize i’m stupidly in love with you, there, that’s it”.

your heart resounds like a drum in your ears. “jaemin—“

“i fell in love with you, okay? and i know you told me not to, didn’t want us devolving into any domestic shit but.. i am, present tense, i’m in love with you”.

oh, you suppose there’s always a catch.

“you done now?” you ask.

“am i— yeah” jaemin laughs, dry and all. “i’m done, are you happy? can i go home now?”

“no” you pull him by the front of his jacket to kiss him, it’s cute that jaemin is clearly surprised by it, the broken whimper he allows to escape when you bite into the swell of his bottom lip is even cuter. his hand comes to cradle your jaw, and for a few sweet moments you forget you’re in front of your building of occupancy. you pull away with your cheeks hot as you rest your foreheads together, suddenly amused.

“thought you would’ve let your parents set you up with your ex”.

“and you didn’t think to ask me?”

“i mean— we never talked about.. this”.

“because you said it would be weird!”

“oh so i’m the bad guy now?”

“yes! yes you are!”

“i told you i was in love with you all you had to say was—“

“shut up” you snap, cupping his impossibly perfect face between your hands. “lord i like you so much, love you an excruciating amount and i miss you all the time even though i see you everyday, you’re so annoying and you have that addicting smile and it’s— you piss me off”.

“as you’ve said before”.

“but.. you know, guess it wouldn’t hurt to try”.

he kisses you again and you can’t help how you smile against his own lips.

“you wanna come back with me?”

jaemin pretends to think it over, as if your fingers aren’t entwined and you don’t already have butterflies alive in your stomach. “i’m worried, what happens if my helmet swallows your tiny little head whole”.

“so romantic na, i’ll have to give you an award for that one”.

“aww, really?”

“no”.

jaemin sticks out his tongue, one last peck given to your lips before you two were off.

when you get back to your place, jaemin falls asleep on your lap midway through the movie like an exhausted old man, or maybe just the young surgeon subjected to the torturous work hours at guleum grave hospital just trying his best. you can’t believe how fond you are, gaze brazen in a manner that renders you nauseous. unable to resist, you reached out to tuck strands of his hair behind his ear.

you hate yourself, it’s just the slightest bit terrifying, you’re fearful at the oncoming future and the enigma of na jaemin in his all. you just want to make sure he wants this, the mushy and sticky feelings which come with the whole process. he is a mystery, yes, but he’s also kind, and patient, and so full of boundless devotion that he probably isn’t even sure he retains.

jaemin jerks awake once jeno flicks on the lights of the living room, but he settles down quickly once he realizes he’s in your lap, you run your fingers through his hair, quietly aching.

he blinks up at you slowly. “i missed the movie”.

“you did” you murmur, “wanna go to bed?”

“yeah” jaemin grabs ahold of your hand in his hair, fingers intertwined, beginning to leave light kisses on your wrist, just above your pulse. he’s so cute like this, so soft looking with his delicate feeling lips and soft all around the edges. you might get sick from the absorbent amount of love you happen to be feeling, his eyelashes flutter in your direction, a smile tugging at his lips which you mirror.

it’s a match made on this soul sucking earth. it’s only a little perfect.

#na jaemin #nct #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream x reader #jaemin imagines #jaemin drabbles #jaemin scenarios #jaemin x reader #na jaemin x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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cal-flakes · 2 years ago

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hi, would you be able to do reader gets too drunk at a party and a someone hits on her before boyfriend rafe saves her ?!

reading my mind fr. yes!!!! hope you enjoy <3

╰┈➤ partying with protective!rafe

warnings: swearing, violence, use of alcohol.

summary: y/n gets a bit too drunk at a kook party. rafe has to step in when someone tries hitting on her.

y/n giggled to herself as she stumbled through the house to get another drink, leaving rafe to do ‘business’ in the living room. the clatter of her heels against the wooden floor was drowned out by the music.

a few fellow kooks said their ‘hey’s’ and ‘hi’s’ as she passed. y/n enjoyed the pleasantries, she was a people person. however, she was sure the majority of people were only nice to her out of fear, fear of rafe cameron’s bad side to be specific. despite this, there was always one, one guy who thought he had a chance with her.

“hey y/n!” an unfamiliar voice called from behind her as she grabbed two cups to fill. turning, she vaguely recognised him but couldn’t find the name. unable to hide hee confused look, he spoke up again. “it’s me, jason, we had maths class together a few years ago?” he stated, trying to jog the girls memory. feigning surprise, she smiled sweetly. “oh, of course! great to see you!” y/n beamed while she poured two more drinks for her and rafe.

rather than picking them up, she knocked them over, spilling one of them all over jason. gasping, she rushed to clean it up, grabbing a rag. “oh gosh, i am so sorry! here..” apologetically handing him the rag. y/n sighed in relief as the boy began laughing, rather than being upset with her. “hey, it’s fine! you can always make up for it” he smirked, wiping his now soaked shirt. choosing to ignore the last part, she picked up the re-filled cups and apologised one last time before going to move past him. his arm stopped her, effective caging her in between the counter.

“how about you make it up to me now?” he whispered, a sinister smirk plastered on his face. “sorry, i don’t quite understand?” y/n questioned, oblivious to what was going on. “why don’t we go upstairs, and you can apologise for spilling your drink on me?” jason suggested, still keeping her backed up against the counter.

“no, sorry. my boyfriends waiting for me..” she rushed, attempting to move past him once more. huffing, jason refused to let her go. “boyfriend? who’s your boyfriend huh?”

“rafe cameron, im sure you’ve heard of him” y/n stated, half expecting him to shit his pants and back up. unfortunately for her, jason did the opposite. laughing obnoxiously, jason only moved closer. y/n’s breath hitched as the boy took another step towards her, placing his hand on her waist.

“cameron’s a bitch man, you’d be much better off with-” before he could finish his sentence, a low voice called out aggressively. “who’s a bitch?”

a look of sheer terror spread across jason’s face as he hesitantly turned around. y/n took her chance and moved out from behind jason, taking her place beside rafe as he glared at him. “h-hey man, i was just kidding, y’know?” jason stuttered as rafe towered above him. in a swift move, her boyfriend grabbed ahold of jason’s collar with one fist as the other struck the boys jaw, knocking him to the floor.

“rafe! rafe it’s fine! just leave it!” y/n demanded from behind her boyfriend, hesitant to get in between the two. jason writhed in pain on the floor, allowing rafe to step over him.

“leave it rafe! please!” y/n continued pleading, knowing rafe often went too far. a low growl left rafe’s throat, grabbing the boys collar once more before spitting on him. “you’re fucking lucky she’s here.” rafe snapped at him threateningly.

turning on his heel, rafe softly grabbed y/n’s waist. “you okay princess?” he whispered, blood still boiling at the audacity of that boy. nodding quickly, she smiled up at him.

“you are my saviour, rafe cameron. i love you” chuckling at her words, he leant down and kissed her roughly, putting on a show for those watching. “i love you too baby”

#rafecameron #dom!rafe #mean!rafe #outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe angst #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #obx

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be-witchin · 2 months ago

Text

Saved from the Pit-SRxR

Spencer finds himself at a concert that he would never normally go to if it means he can take a chance to go on a date with you.

who? spencer reid x BAU fem!reader (use of y/n)

content: fluff

word count: 3.4k

a/n: I am fully aware this man wouldn’t be caught dead at a metal

Show but a girl can dream… Also this is my first time posting something I’ve written on here so I hope whoever reads it likes it, and please have mercy on some of the cringey parts.

I was buzzing with excitement as I walked toward the elevator to leave the BAU, it was an extremely rare night off and I planned to take full advantage of it. The elevator doors opened, and I stepped in, but to my surprise Spencer quickly followed behind me, I didn’t even notice that he had been there. I tapped my foot anxiously waiting for the door to close, he looked over at me with a small smile on his face.

“What has you so excited?” he asked, I smiled back a light blush forming across my cheeks.

“I’m going to a concert tonight; it’s been a while and I’ve missed it. One of my good friends is going with me too.” I replied shifting from foot to foot, the doors were about to close when Derek caught them at the last second and jumped in. He stood between Spencer and I and the doors mercifully closed.

“What concert?” Reid asked politely, trying to catch my gaze around Derek. A smile formed on Derek’s face, and he shook his head. Most everyone knew about my weird tastes in everything just by looking at me, but Derek especially caught an earful of my concert experiences. He and Garcia were probably my closest friends on the team.

“You uh..., probably don’t know the band.” I cringed at my own words, I probably shouldn’t make assumptions but it slipped out before I could second guess it. I paused for a minute as my phone pinged in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I peeked at the message and groaned

“Damn, that is unfortunate.” I grumbled to myself; Derek looked over at me catching the disappointment on my face.

“What’s up?” he asked, I glanced at him and shook my head.

“My friend who I was supposed to go with tonight bailed, she’s sick with the flu. You wouldn’t be interested in a concert by chance, would you?” I asked hopefully, he shook his head in response and snorted.

“You know I don’t think it’s my scene.” He replied, then took a glance at Spencer, something passed between them before Derek looked back at me. “Why not take Reid with you? He could use some new experiences.” He said, I looked over at Spencer with hope in my gaze.

“You know, sure why not. It can’t be that bad right?” he asked, looking between the two of us. The doors opened and Derek shook his head and stepped out with a laugh.

“Don’t speak to soon kid.” He said, I rolled my eyes at him as he left Spencer and I standing in front of the elevator. I was self-assured, but I always clammed up like a deer in headlights around Spencer.

“If you don’t want to go you don’t have to. It’s a metal show so things can get intense.” I said, rethinking my invitation, if all else failed I could sell the extra ticket. I could see the conflict in Reid’s face as thought about what was ahead but as if he was shaking thoughts away, he shook his head.

“Let’s do it, you have to try everything once right?” he said, still sounding unsure in his tone of voice. A bright smile crossed my face.

“Okay, if you want, I can drive, we’ll run to my place so I can change clothes and grab my show bag.” I held my keys tightly in my hands as I led the way to my car, when we got in the silence settled uncomfortably between us. I tapped the steering wheel anxiously trying to think of what to say but the drive to my apartment was quick. I parked the car, and we made our way in.

“Make yourself comfortable!” I said as I disappeared into my bedroom, my heart started racing. I’d had a crush on him for a while, and it was hard to imagine him at one of these shows. I shook my head, changing clothes and grabbing the clear crossbody I always carried for shows.

“You can leave your stuff here if you want, I can take you home when we’re done.” I said as I came out of the room. I looked up from my bag after my final check before leaving, Reid’s eyes were the size of plates as he looked at me up and down.

“This is definitely a different look than what I’m used to.” He said, I felt the blush creeping on my cheeks again and I shifted on my feet as he eyed the fishnets and the chunky black boots and the oversized t-shirt that I wore as a dress.

“What we wear to work is definitely not my preferred style choice, but it can definitely be jarring…” I trailed off, he blanched.

“No-no it’s different but… I like it, it suits you.” He stuttered out, I smiled again and stepped across the room to open the safe I kept in the entryway closet.

“You can put your gun and credentials in here, I usually keep mine in my room, but we have to head out here pretty quick.” I said, he nodded while meeting me by the closet door and deposited his bag in along with the FBI hardware.

“Are you going to be okay in that? I wouldn’t want anyone taking advantage it’s a big crowd.” He said, glancing at the t-shirt again.

“I’m wearing shorts underneath, I’ll be okay.” I replied and closed the safe door and double checking that it was locked. “Ready?” I asked, he nodded, and we ran to the car.

When we got inside the venue I could see the overwhelmed look on Spencer’s face, I paused at the doorway stepping out of the way of people entering

“We can hang out back here if you want, it can be a lot for people to be in the front, especially for a first show.” I said, though in my heart I longed to be in the front and in the thick of it. He looked at the crowd starting to build by the stage, and he shook his head.

“No, it’s okay, I can tell you’re excited, we can go up there.” He said with resolve, I smiled gratefully at him and quickly squeezed his hand as a thanks.

“Before we go through, you need a few of the unspoken rules here.” I said, nervousness briefly cutting into my voice, he tilted his head at me in confusion.

“Rules?” he asked, somewhere between amazed and horrified. I nodded tugging at the hem of my shirt.

“Rules. The most important one is to stay out of the middle. That’s usually where the pit opens, and if I’m not built for a pit neither are you. Don’t be afraid to shove people who are getting too in your space either, shows like this can cause a lot of packed bodies.” I paused, giving him a minute to absorb what I was saying. With no objections I continued. “Make sure you stay close; you can hold on to my bag strap if you’re not comfortable with touching me directly.” I saw the ghost of a blush creep across his cheeks, and I had to shove the smirk down that I felt coming.

“If you see someone fall and you’re in reach, make sure you pick them up and if a crowd surfer comes over your head either cross your arms in an X to make a strong platform to help push people along or duck down. I will not judge on that one, just do what works for you.” I said, and for the last thought that crossed my mind I bravely took both of his hands in my own and stepped close into his space.

“If at any point you get too overwhelmed or it’s too much, please tell me. I’d rather hang out in the back with you and have you feel safe in the long run.” I looked into his eyes, and he searched my own for a moment before nodding in acknowledgment. “Thank you for coming with me, I really do appreciate it.” I started to let go of his hands, he freed one but held fast to the other.

“I uh- I think I’d be more comfortable holding onto your hand than your bag if that’s okay.” He said, the heat rose to my cheeks again and I nodded before leading him onto the floor. After securing a spot close to the front we stood as the rest of the room filled up, Spencer still holding fast to my hand.

“So, you never told me what band we’re seeing.” he said loudly, trying to be heard over the speakers playing music while we waited.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s a band called Lorna Shore, there’s a few other openers but I don’t know their stuff super well.” I replied, then with my free hand I reached into my bag pulling out a package of ear plugs. “You’re probably going to want these; the damage shows like this can do to your hearing is no bueno.” He took them from me nodding gratefully and put one in his ear, I did the same planning on putting the other one in when the show started.

“On average concerts range from 80 to 100 decibels so I’m glad you’re protecting your hearing. Being exposed to anything over 100 decibels can cause damage in as little as 15 minutes.” He said loudly, I smiled shaking my head. I secretly loved the Reid-isms even if everyone else expressed annoyance sometimes.

“Let me know if anyone gets in your business, I’ll handle it.” I said, before the lights dropped. We put in our other ear plugs, and I shifted on my feet, the excitement building up. The music started and I was transported to my happy place.

(Spencer)

This was possibly the biggest mistake I had made as far as doing things for a girl I liked, but it was starting to become worth it when I saw how happy she was. I also didn’t anticipate the level of violence shows like this promoted. It felt like being a kid in high school all over again, but weirdly enough she did a good job of holding her own in all of it all while headbanging with a huge smile on her face. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and almost caught a foot to the face trying to catch it. I ducked down quickly, losing grip on her hand as she reached up helping in a group of people shoving a huge guy to the front line. When he passed over, I looked at her trying to align this version of her with the one from the BAU, she smiled sheepishly and took my hand again.

A surge of people pressed forward during the song, doing exactly what she said they would be, invading space and pushing me hard. She slid into the narrow spot in front of me preventing the press onto a random stranger and reached around me shoving some people back. I still found it hard to believe she could be smiling and finding joy in this. She pointed at me and gave me a thumbs up, asking if I was okay. I nodded but being this close made it hard to pull away when her eyes widened in shock.

“What?” I screamed; it was the only way you could hear anything she switched positions putting herself where I was standing, and I saw it. A giant circle had opened up in the middle of the floor and I would have been standing right in it. She leaned in close to my ear to talk.

“I can help keep the pit contained, if you don’t want to be part of that you might have to let someone else stand in your spot.” She said, her voice muffled in my ear. I didn’t like the idea of being separated but there wasn’t much room to move in the first place. I leaned into her, there were still some people trying to get everything started so it wasn’t terrible… yet.

“What do I have to do?” I asked, she smiled softly.

“I’ll do all the heavy lifting, just make sure if I fall, I’m up fast. I won’t let anyone push past me, but I just need someone stable to push back against.” She said, I smiled at the thought of being the one she pushed against to stay upright, and the proximity made me brave. My hands brush briefly over her waist before she squared herself against the shoving happening in the circle. Every once in awhile she’d shove someone hard back into the middle and sometimes if someone fell near her, she yanked them back up. Watching her shove her whole body weight into keeping this contained was terrifying and alluring at the same time. I felt her land against me when someone twice her size shoved into her and caught her off guard.

My arms instinctively wrapped around her to keep her from falling, the force shoved us back and her hole in the edge of the pit closed. She smiled gratefully as we got resituated in the crowd, I leaned close in her ear to talk to her.

“Tell me why you find this fun again?” I asked, she looked at me smiling and leaned into me.

“Do we need to move to the back? Are you okay?” she asked, her eyes widening with worry.

“I’m doing alright, I’m just happy to see you having fun. I still don’t really understand the logic but I’m sure you can try and explain it to me.” I said, trying to appear cooler than I felt. She smiled wide and I breathed a sigh of relief when a slower song came on. With the shifting of bodies, we ended up at the very front. She was pressed up against the metal barricade and I was behind her, caging my arms around her to hold the metal bar for dear life.

I was listening to the song, enjoying a change of pace when I glanced down. She had maneuvered herself to face me, I bent down close to her ear.

“Are you alright?” I asked, she gave me an odd look before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me to her. When our lips met in a kiss, it was at that moment that I decided I would go to anything like this with her even if the sweat and the shoving and the screaming was a lot.

When we returned to her apartment to grab my stuff it was late. I glanced at the clock and it read 1:00, I opened the door to the front closet and She grabbed my free hand.

“Hey Spence…” she started, I looked back at her, taking her in. Her smudged makeup, and messy hair did nothing to dissuade me from enjoying my view. “What if you stayed? It’s really late….” She asked, a small smile on her face. My heart jumped into my throat, what if I did stay?

She mistook my silence for rejection and let go of my hand.

“Sorry, I know that was pretty forward of me. I’ll grab my keys and get you home.” She turned to walk away and I grabbed her wrist gently.

“I can stay, I want to stay.” I blurted out before I had too much time to think about it. She smiled brightly at me, and I stepped closer and pulled her against me.

“Thank you for giving me a new experience.” I said, pulling her in for a kiss again, feeling brave. When we pulled apart, she grabbed my hand and started pulling me to her room.

We woke up to both of our cell phones ringing, she was tangled up against me fast asleep. The sound didn’t even cause her to stir. I answered the phone with a whisper.

“Hello?” I asked, I didn’t check the caller ID and I immediately regretted it.

“Hey pretty boy, you’re late.” Morgan said on the other line. “Why are you whispering?” He asked, laughter coloring his voice.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be there soon.” I replied, she stirred slightly against me and I tried to hold still.

“Yeah I’m sure you will, make sure y/n is with you. We have a case and I managed to stall Hotch.” He said, I could hear his grin on the other line. I hung up the phone and my second regret was having to wake her up from her deep sleep. I used my arm to gently shake her.

“Hey, we’re late, we have to go, there’s a case.” I said, she groaned, opening her eyes. Despite the sleep that resided in them, the color of them drew me in like a moth to flame.

“How late?” She asked, rubbing her eyes and moving to get up. I blushed when she started to strip her clothes from last night and averted my eyes.

“Late enough that Morgan had to stall.” I said, cringing at his knowing. She groaned and after dressing quickly, I looked her over again still struggling with aligning Agent l/n and the heavy metal woman from last night.

(Y/N’s POV)

When we arrived at the office it was in barely enough time for Hotch to not notice we were late. We barely sat in our chairs before the briefing began. Garcia stood at the front going through the case, giving me glances when no one else was looking. Morgan was trying to hide his shit eating grin and failing miserably. When we finished the briefing, Hotch gave us our time and quickly disappeared, then Morgan descended on Reid, who sat next to me.

“Aren’t those the same clothes from last night pretty boy?” He asked, I blushed hard and shook my head. Spencer stood and started leaving the room.

“Don’t worry about it.” He mumbled, giving me a longing glance before disappearing with the others. Garcia sat down in his now empty chair.

“Oh my god, tell me everything you little emo overlord!” She yelped, I cringed feeling the residual exhaustion from an adrenaline crash.

“Little emo overlord? Really Penelope?” I asked, Morgan laughed.

“Yes really! Dr. Reid was in last night's clothes which were rumpled I might add. So tell me you finally showed him your lack of clothes you screamy music loving demon!” She replied, I cringed and shook my head.

“No clothes were shed Garcia, he slept over because we didn’t get home until 1am.” My cheeks were on fire as Morgan laughed even harder. Disappointed with the truth, Penelope left the room quickly to grab her go bag.

“So emo overlord, you should be thanking me for helping you out.” Morgan said, I stood and he followed me as I left the room.

“I will thank you, when I am caffeinated chocolate thunder.” I grumbled throwing one of Garcia’s names back at him. I quickly returned to my apartment complex and found Spencer standing at my front door. I stopped in the hall taken aback.

“Hey…” I said slightly breathless from the surprise. He turned around to face me and smiled.

“Sorry I ran out earlier, I just was feeling a little overwhelmed.” I smiled and shrugged.

“It happens sometimes, do you want to come in while I grab my stuff?” I asked, he nodded and followed me through my door. When I shut it I turned around to find him standing right behind me.

“What’s up Spence?” I asked, he smiled and stepped closer, trapping me against my door.

“I really like when you call me that.” He said, I smiled at him and he leaned into me kissing me with confident ferocity. When we pulled apart it took me a moment to regain my senses.

“You are full of surprises, Doctor Reid.” I said, and we packed my bag quickly. When we arrived to the jet we boarded sitting next to each other. He leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“When we get back, I’d like to go on another date.” He said, I smiled pink coloring my cheeks again.

“Coffee?” I asked, he nodded and we fell into companionable silence while the teams discussed the case ahead.

#Spotify #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer read x y/n #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #fanfic #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x female reader #spencer reid self insert #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #self insert

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phoenixeclipse-lmkau · 7 months ago

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[yo i sent this ask in a while back and you never responded. i am trying again to see if it just never hit inbox. i wrote the fic ask. unfortunately i don't have a full copy of the ask i sent in rip]

really like the ideas, unfortunately can't focus on writing it proper rn because life just hit me in the face but what i can do is come up with before and after artefacts

the goal? piss off the monkey duo with each artefact added[to encourage yandere endgame]:

before phoenix stone: reader and the monkeys would be more likely to cuddle for warmth, like how a monkey troop would i assume

after phoenix stone: less cuddles, there's always a fire and it's sometimes a bit too warm to have 2 monkey cubs on you. when the weather gets colder or if the fire “accidentally” goes out reader would probably be more willing for cuddles

before forest stone: reader had to patch up any monkey injuries by hand, and that means check-ups from time to time. lots of one-on-one attention that spirit really can't protest about without making herself look bad. reader cuddles the pain away? they could also fetch reader plants and flowers to help and impress reader. after all, she doesn't recognise most of these plants after all.

after forest stone: less follow-ups on injuries, because while it's slow i assume the healing is still done in one go for minor injuries. potentially less contact while healing? idk how the stone works. less cuddle the pain away and more cuddle the scare away i guess? reader can grow what she wants, and what is the difference aesthetic-wise between a flower in the wild and a flower grown by the stone? i assume stone-grown flower has fewer marks because wildlife don't have a chance to nibble on them or it to be damaged by the weather. reader would still appreciate gifts from them though, but will their pride let their gifts be outdone by a stone?

before shield amulet: reader holds them close and puts herself between threats while spirit deals with minor threats and i assume helps run from major threats

after shield amulet: separated by the shield! she's inside and they're stuck outside, or worse they're stuck inside and she is left vulnerable outside with only spirit to protect her! insert extreme rage when reader gets hit and the shield goes down

before the glamor mask: they get to look at reader all day and see her face and always see her smile

after glamour mask: why can't we find reader? why can't we see reader's lovely face?

i wrote an idea as well but i didn't keep a copy of it rip. it was something along the lines of reader making a flower crown using the plants they could grow using forest stone and giving the two cubs crowns, and jokingly calling them your highness, only for the two cubs to crown reader with their crowns or make their own crown for reader i don't remember.

at least i think it was? i don't remember anymore.

I have both of these asks. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to. Had a lot going on these past few days. And I thank you for your patience.

I decided for this ask I'll write a few short scenes. I hope you like them. Sorry this one took so long. I mean seriously it took me way too long to complete this.

It's ready! Sorry about the wait and all. For the second time!

Before the Phoenix Stone -

You wrapped your cloak around yourself as you tried to hold in as much warmth as possible. Underneath, you held both Peaches and Plums close to your chest. Luckily, neither of them seemed too cold as they soaked up and produced body heat.

Of course, you could hear their chirps as they poked their heads out of the fabric to look around. They didn't like not being able to see their surroundings, they had made that clear. However they also didn't want to leave the warmth of your cloak. At least that's what you though.

In reality, being warm was only part of the reason that they clung to you. The majority of the reason was because... they hated being away from you. Snuggling up to your chest after taking a look outside, they both purred.

Your heart gently thumping next to them. It was peaceful. A low hum leaving your lips as you tried to distract yourself from the cold.

"You alright?" Spirit asked, a worried look covering her face.

"Yeah... i-it's just c-cold," you respond, noting how Spirit didn't seem bothered at all by the weather.

"Here," Spirit said taking her cloak off and giving you another layer of warmth.

"W-What a-about y-you?" You asked, your eyes narrowing slightly.

Spirit waved you off with a grin, "I'm fine. My fur is thick this time of year. I'm more bothered by the heat than the cold."

'Good, then maybe you'll leave us alone when we take Reader home,' Wukong thought to himself as he glanced up out of your cloak again.

"T-thanks," you smiled before checking the two monkeys clinging to you who didn't mind the extra warmth.

"No problem," Spirit grinned before shooting a discreet glare at the small golden monkey.

Wukong for his part sent her a glare right back. Macaque decided not to participate in favor of pressing his ears against her chest to listen to her heartbeat. It was soothing and calming. Relaxing in her hold he didn't bother arguing with anyone. Spirit would be a fool to try to take them away from Reader, after all that would make her look really bad.

After The Phoenix Stone

*chrip* *chirp*

Plum chirped as he tried to jump into your arms, only for you to grip his scruff gently and set him back on your shoulder. Which caused him to let out a quiet hiss.

"It's too hot for that," you muttered as you sat away from the roaring fire.

After struggling to get it lite for over an hour you were finally able to get the stone to get warm enough to light a spark. However in doing so, because you didn’t know how to properly use it you also felt your wings grow out of your back. Which results in the extra heat that always emits from the large, red, orange and yellow wings. To you the heat was almost unbearable at times. On the bright side at least you weren’t freezing and you were all able to sit around the fire even if you weren’t able to escape the heat now.

“It’s too hot for anything. Can’t you get rid of the wings? I know that you need more heat than me but seriously,” Spirit asked, as she sprawled out on the ground panting as she sat as far away from the fire as she could. Without being to far to protect you in case of danger.

“Not sure how,” You muttered a flush appearing on your face. If it had just been the wings it wouldn’t be too bad, but the wings combined with the fire that you set was hot.

The Phoenix Stone was honestly a pain at times. You couldn’t activate it when it was too cold, you couldn’t make the wings go away even when it was cold. It made no sense!! You grumbled, before laying on the ground with a huff. Both of the monkeys jumped onto your stomach from your shoulders and laid down to cuddle. However as soon as they did you picked them up and set them beside you.

“It’s too hot,” You muttered.

A growl left both of the cubs. They walked up on all fours and tried to hop back up only to be set back on the ground. Peaches chirped angrily before sitting on the ground back to you in retaliation.

“Quite whining,” Spirit grumbled as she turned over trying to sleep.

Before The Forest Stone

*Chirp* *Chirp*

Plums chirped as he looked over Peaches who had a thin scratch across his arm. You were fretting over him worriedly, but weren’t absolutely loosing it because you knew it wasn’t deep. However the monkey was being overly dramatic, even Plums could tell if his eye roll had anything to say about it.

“Calm down. I know it’s not that bad,” You chuckle as you cuddled him to your chest. He let out dramatic chirps and continued to wiggle around in your lap.

Carefully, you took a long piece of fabric from your bag. The cloth wasn't exactly designed for bandaging any sort of wound, but you would make do with what you had. Besides, as you had thought before, the wound wasn't bad.

Wrapping it around his arm the Monkey looked at you with a wagging tail. Though his ears were pushed down as he attempted to look hurt.

"Is that better?" You asked with a smile.

The monkey in question then chirped and held his injured arm up. With a chuckle you gave it a few kisses. Nuzzling your face against his you grinned happily. He was so cute.

Suddenly you felt a slap on your head, a tiny slap but a slap non the less. Looking over you saw Plums pouting his six ears downcast as he looked up at you with practiced puppy eyes.

"Oh my sweety, there's enough kisses for you too," you laugh lifting up the Monkey to give him a few kisses on the face.

Which of course resulted in more chirps from Peaches. And more kisses for both of them.

After The Forest Stone

After the forest stone whenever you would patch them up. You would give them less after cuddles and they hated this.

As for the shield stone and glamour mask? Well those are actually for later and I don't want to spoil the surprise more than I have with my last post. ‘Anger’. Hehe 😏

Flower Crowns

“Lalala,” You were softly singing, something you didn’t normally do.

You hated singing in front of others but right now, you were happy to sing while the two cubs sat beside you as you wove flowers together. You had already completed one made of dandelions and was now working one made out of lavender. They weren’t very good but it was still quite fun to make them.

*Chirp?*

Looking down, Plums was looking up at you with a curious look on his face as you finished up the lavender crown. A wide smile covering your face.

“And done,” You said with a giddy smile.

That caught Peaches’ attention causing him to look over your shoulder. Setting both crowns on your lap you gently picked up Peaches and set him next to Plums. Which of course resulted in a small growl from the cub. You couldn’t help but laugh at the gesture.

“Here you go. Dandelions for Peaches and lavender for Plums,” You grinned as you gently set the crowns atop their heads.

Immediately the two looked at each other and then tried to look up at themselves to see the crown. You couldn’t help but laugh at the antics that they did. They were so cute!

"Two crowns for two little kings."

Their tails started wagging excitedly as they looked up at you with wide eyes. Peaches jumped into your lap and nuzzled against you. Yes he was a king weather little or his warlord form. He was the mightiest king.

Plums let out several chirps that only his companion understood. It only made Peaches nuzzle into you more. 'She says we're her kings once we return to normal... then we can make her our Queen.'

Yes what a splendid idea! They would make you their Queen. In fact why should they even have to wait? As Great Kings now all they needed to do was crown you. A crown of roses, you mentioned how you loved the pretty red roses.

But they didn't have any roses.... oh that'll work!

With a swift movement both monkeys jumped on your shoulders causing you to chuckle. Before a pout formed on your face when they removed their crowns. Did they not like them?

Oh... both crowns were set atop your head though they were too small for you. You couldn't help bit laugh at the gesture before they both leaned down. You couldn't help but give them each a little kiss on the cheek.

"I guess I'm the Queen then," you laugh. Unaware of the intentions of the two tiny warlords that sat on your shoulders.

"Hey Reader! You ready to go?" Spirit called out as she walked back up to you.

She held a bowl of water in her hand for you that you gratefully drank before following her lead.

Okay!! I think this time this will work right! I wrote the rest of it on my notes app!

Anyways I hope you enjoy, sorry it was shorter than I planned however it gave me a pain in the ass. So hope you enjoy!!

Send me opinions and asks all you want. Nothing is forbidden so throw it at me. 💗

#sun wukong x macaque #yandere sun wukong #yandere macaque #sun wukong x reader #macaque x reader #dead dove do not eat #cursed warlords au #cursed warlords lmk au

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notanactressyay · 11 months ago

Text

— ₊⊹ 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐫 (𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞)

— ₊⊹ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 . Natasha Romanoff x reader

— ₊⊹ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 . she did. she allowed her feelings and past to take you away from her. now, guilt and confusion consumed her, and when the one chance to make everything right comes, she doesn't think twice before taking it. and you have to love her from afar. from somewhere you don't even know.

— ₊⊹ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 . major character death, the blip, Thanos, cursing, grief, breaking down, no happy ending.

— ₊⊹ 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 . this is the second and last part to loving you silently. i didn't think i'd make a part two, but turns out i enjoyed writing angsty things. i'm switching accounts, my pinned explains everything.

fic started: june 23, 2024, 04:30am. | finished: june 23, 2024, 03:01pm.

dividers belong to: @saradika — ₊⊹ ★

the breakup messed up with her mind more than she initially thought it would have. you hadn't used the exact phrase "i am breaking up with you", but the way you said it, "when you become the Natasha i fell in love with again", it was almost the same thing. because she knew there was no way she was ever becoming the same old her.

during the whole 5 years, her mind was slowly being taken by her own pride and guilt, and the only thing keeping her grounded was you. she knew somebody was looking out for her, outside the prison of her brain. she knew that, when she finally manages to find a way and bring everybody back, things would be okay, and then, you'd live happily ever after.

but life unfortunately wasn't a fairy tale. you were a real person. and unlike her, you were way too ordinary to cope with a messed up individual like herself. you didn't learn how to manipulate people's emotions, or how to kill, or how to hide your true self. no one should learn those things anyway, but she did — and felt crazy for it.

and now that you had moved out of the compound to let your relationship breathe, the russian felt crazier than ever.

"stop squirming," Steve whispered as he used the wipe to clean the dry blood from Natasha's hands. "i know it hurts. but no more than breaking the whole kitchen. does it?"

"i lost," she murmurs, gaze fixated on a spot on the floor. clearly she wasn't listening to whatever captain america was saying. "i lost them. i-i lost everything,"

Steve takes a deep breath and throws the dirty wipes on the bin, grabbing the bandages. he scooted his chair closer to where Natasha was sitting, a defeated look on his face.

"i don't know what i am supposed to tell you." he admits, wrapping the bandages carefully around all the cuts and bruises on the spy's hands. "i watched you reject their love and care for you. i watched you pushing them away."

"i'm a lost cause," she murmurs — being cut off by a sob escaping her throat. a loud, pained sob, as the events of the past few days registered on her mind. she was still a human being to prevent a break down from happening. "i-i don't know what to do, Steve,"

his eyes shows concern as he finishes patching her up. he sighs heavily and pulls the woman into his arms, cradling her trembling frame, allowing her to cry. he takes a look around — the microwave, stove, windows, glasses, plates. everything breakable, Natasha had punched. they now despite everything, had a kitchen to reform.

— ₊⊹ ★

the street was empty. there were no cars, or no neighbors. you unfortunately — yes, unfortunately — had been one of the lucky ones who Thanos didn't snap. what was the point of continuing to live if you had no friends, no family, and now, not even your loved one anymore? giving her a time was supposed to feel freeing, but you had nothing to free yourself from. you had nothing other than that.

you kicked the suitcases inside your old house and shut the door close. the silence felt terrifying now. you felt like you could go insane anytime. you sat down by the doorframe and ran your hands through your hair, leaning your head back against the wall with a thud.

the atmosphere was so different from the Avengers Tower. previously, living with a bunch of superheroes was so fun. especially when you weren't one. you loved being in the middle of so many dangerous missions and sobrenatural stuff — little did you know it would become that.

you missed your best friends. the laughter shared with everyone. Tony, Bruce, Thor, Cap, Clint. Yelena and Kate too. Wanda.. and now it was just you. you, the faint blow of the wind. nothing else.

it was an endless nightmare that certainly couldn't get any worse. right?

your watch showed 7pm. you stood up and walked to the balcony, where you could see practically the whole New York, and the glow from the Tower you used to live. the stars were twinkling. your gaze locked on them, as you prayed for anything, anything that could see you, or sense you, to get you out of this.

— ₊⊹ ★

Natasha was back on her office, after making herself a couple of peanut butter sandwiches and tearfully biting on the bread. Tony walked in a few minutes later, holding a sleeping Morgan on his hip.

she raised an eyebrow, not speaking, not wanting to wake the little girl up. Tony sighed, siting on the sofa. he whispered to Natasha, knowing she could hear. "Steve told me about the kitchen. and about you. so i had to come."

the redhead sighed and nodded in acknowledgement, holding her bandaged hands up, chuckling humorlessly. "i'm a hundred percent lost. i don't think i have much time left, honestly."

"shush with that." Tony tsks and shake his head. he holds Morgan closer, watching as Natasha cleared her throat, her heart aching for what Tony had. "we'll figure something out,"

"easy for you to say," she whispers shakily, pointing her head at his daughter in his arms. he knows what she's talking about, but couldn't do much.

they fell in a silence again, before receiving a call on the panel. it had been ages since they received one. Tony frowned, sitting more upright. "is that an old message?"

"is there anyone home? this is Scott Lang. hi, hi! we met a few years ago at the airport? in Germany?! ant-man? i know you know that, i got Captain America here with me,"

"Scott, Scott. calm down. they can see us. wait until they open the gate."

"it's the front gate," Natasha weakly stands up and look at the image of ant-man and captain america, a tiny, tiny flicker of hope showing on her eyes as she thinks of the possibilities for them to be together.

as they allow the other two inside, Tony goes up to let Morgan sleep in one of the dormitories. Scott paces around, muttering to himself. Natasha watched, confused.

"Scott, calm down." Steve says, placing a hand on the man's shoulder to stop him. "let's tell them what happened, easy."

"have either of you guys ever studied quantum physics?" he asks, eyes searching around until they landed on Natasha's sandwiches. "is that anyone's sandwich? god, i'm starving." he rushes to the desk and grabs it, taking a giant bite out of it.

"only to make conversation," Natasha comments, narrowing her eyes.

"alright, so. five years ago, right before... before Thanos, i was in a place called the quantum realm. it is like it's own microscopic universe, you have to be incredibly small to get in there. i got stuck in there, for 5 years.. because.. the person supposed to pull me out was snapped."

"i'm sorry." the russian whispers, clearing her throat. "that must have been long five years."

"except it wasn't. for me, it was 5 hours," Scott continues, making Natasha frown even more. "time works differently there."

Tony seemed to get a finger on what he was talking about. he shook his head and shoved his hands into his jeans' pockets. "so you want us to navigate the quantum realm. you want to create a time machine."

"not a time machine. it's.. it's.. it's crazy, it's.." he mumbles, huffing frustratedly. "yes, a time machine."

"no, absolutely not." Tony says firmly, not having to think twice. "quantum fluctuation messes with the planck scale. which triggers the deutsch proposition. in layman's terms, means you're not coming home."

"Scott did." Steve shrugs, simply.

"no. he accidentally survived." iron man insists. "it's a billion to one cosmic fluke. and now you wanna pull your so called.. 'time heist'?"

"the stones are in the past. if we go back, we can get them," Natasha nods slowly, her expression changing to a more determined one. "we can snap our own fingers. we can bring everybody back."

"or screw it up worse than he already has. right?" Tony chuckles and denies it once more. "no. i'm not doing this."

"Tony." Natasha murmurs. "we have to take a stand."

"we know you got a lot on the line. you got a wife, a daughter. but i lost someone very important to me. all of us did. it's not only you we are talking about here," Steve explains and Natasha flinches at the mention. "there's somebody who i absolutely know will help you, help us,"

the redhead looks down, a bittersweet smile crossing her lips. "they're not really talking to me right now. but if you ask them, Tony. isn't that a shot worth taking?"

"oh. you all mean Natasha's partn—" Scott mumbles, but is interrupted by Steve smacking his shoulder.

Tony seems to think for a while, but eventually, his walls break, as he remembers you. all the times you helped with his projects, how nothing ever failed when you teamed up. yup. to your house he went.

— ₊⊹ ★

"so basically, in Saint Francisco, ant-man suddenly left the quantum realm and Steve found him laying in a bunch of boxes in an abandoned parking lot."

you listened to Tony's explanation wide-eyed, not believing a single word. you smirked somehow. it took a lot to even let him in, you only did it because he had his daughter anyway. and now he was asking for you to suddenly go back to where you left.

"and now, you all want to pair up again and build a time machine and time travel." you ask, but it sounds more like an affirmation.

"you see, they took a while to convince me too." he says, looking into your eyes. Tony wasn't the selfish man he usually was. he was genuinely concerned, and seemed to consider the request.

"because you don't wanna lose her,"

you say quietly, as Morgan snuggles up against you. you were the one who always took care of her when Pepper and him couldn't. she was like a niece for you. a rush of wind causes the girl to shiver and mumble something, but she quickly goes back to sleep. you carefully lean your head down against the girl's.

"... Pepper and i already consulted FRIDAY." Tony gulps, nodding. "it might work. can you believe that? we are actually able to time-travel."

"usually you'd say that's horseshit," you snicker, coaxing a small laugh out of Tony.

"i did say that." he nods, wrapping his arm around you both, allowing your weight to rest on him.

it was good to know you still had a friend, something to take care of. and also, someone needed this to work as much as you did. and you didn't want that person to think you had forgotten about her.

"..fine." you mumble, tucking a strand of hair behind Morgan's ear. "when and how are we doing that?"

— ₊⊹ ★

seemingly, everyone was back. well, the glimpse of who the team was.

Thor had gained a few pounds and hadn't gotten his beard done for ages. Clint, looked like a teenager who liked being emo. Tokyo did something to him. Bruce, had somehow joined himself and the Hulk, and now he was green all the time. a lot changed ever since you saw everybody.

"okay, here we go. time-travel test number one," you say, holding the clipboard where you noted the events. "Scott, fire up the... uh, the van thing."

he opens the back of the van which was being used as the time-travel portal and fires up the engine. Steve sets the emergency generators, as Scott puts the helmet on.

"i'm sending you back a week, let you walk around for an hour, then bring you back in 10 seconds." you explain, taking a step back.

"we got this," Natasha says apprehensively, picking on her nails.

you look at her with your peripheral vision, taking a long, sharp breath, trying to focus on the main task there. bring everybody back, before thinking of your previous relationship.

Scott is send back a week, then. the propellant pulls him inside the portal and in a count of three, you press all the buttons again, and boom. ant-man, perfectly fine.

"time travel!" Bruce-Hulk exclaims. "i knew it would work! you're the best,"

"mhm," you hum, bittersweetly smiling and sighing in relief. "now, it's simple, we just gotta find a way to know where the stones are, travel, come back, and everything is solved."

"good job," Tony throws you a smile. you return it.

"this is how we're doing it," Clint steps in, and everyone looks at him. "we're taking Nebula, Rhodey, Rocket and all the Guardians of the Galaxy. we're gonna need as much as back-up possible. we know the how, now, it's the where, and the when."

"to the meeting room we go," you comment, placing the clipboard down and walking back inside.

— ₊⊹ ★

"almost everyone in this room had an encounter with at least one of the six infinity stones," Steve says, pointing at the images of the stones showing on FRIDAY's pannel.

"i haven't," you whisper, covering your mouth to prevent a chuckle from escaping. "i have no idea what the hell you're all talking about."

"regardless," Bruce sighs. "we only got enough pym-particles for one round-trip each."

"and the stones had been in a lot of different places throughout our history." Natasha finishes, following the path of thought.

the Avengers analyze each stone and recall in which time of their lives they had found each stone, so that they could pick their targets correctly and find them. until Nebula begins talking about the last one. the soul stone. "Thanos found the soul stone in Vormir."

"what's Vormir?" Natasha asks, grabbing her notepad and a pen. the explanation, though, was not something you were expecting.

"a dominion of death." Nebula whispers. "at the very center of celestial existence. it's where.. my sister was murdered. by him."

that word. death. the team sees how it affected both Natasha and you. she shifted uncomfortably on the couch and finished scrabbling on the paper, dropping it on the coffee table in front of her.

"we got a plan." Steve speaks, breaking the awkward silence. "six stones, three teams, one shot."

"am I going?" you ask quietly, looking at everyone who shook their heads at you.

"no, of course not." Natasha was the first to reply. "you're strong, mentally. but you're not a superhero. you're staying here to pull us out as soon as we're back. copy?"

that didn't feel right. and Natasha felt your uneasiness. it broke her so much to know you were still concerned for her. you both weren't in the right places for her to comfort you, so she stayed right where she was.

— ₊⊹ ★

Natasha 'flew' to so called Vormir with one and only objective. making things right. it wasn't true to say she wasn't a little shaken by Nebula's words before. but if it meant dying, to get her family back, get her sister back, and her lover back, she wouldn't hesitate.

it was damn creepy. the sky was a mixture of purples and blues and blacks, mountains covered in snow and long, long cliffs.

"you okay?" Clint places his hand on Nat's back as he sees her expression. she's scared.

"i will be," she whispers, giving him a not-so-convincing smile. "as soon as we accomplish our mission."

the truth was that she was scared of not seeing you again. not seeing your smile for a last time, hearing your voice once more. she had lost everything already, but not you. you stayed. the universe had decided to keep you there with her, that had to mean something. and she was only realizing how much of an idiot she had been right now. the potential last moments she had you by her side, she discarded like they were nothing.

"no time to think back, Natasha." Clint breaks her out of her trance and nudges her shoulder. she gulps nervously and follows him.

the two continue to walk up the mountain, until a strange voice calls out for them. Clint unsheathes his sword and Natasha pulls out her gun.

"Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Clint, son of Edith."

"consider me a guide," the voice continues, "to you, and to all who seek the soul stone."

"good." Natasha comments dryly, aiming at the figure in the black robe. "you tell us where it is, and we'll be on our way."

the figure approaches them, revealing the creature under the black fabric. Red Skull. "what you seek, lies ahead of you."

a glow comes from the end of the cliff, and they both know what it means immediately. they lower their weapons and secure them again.

"in order to get what you want, you need to lose what you love the most. a soul for a soul."

Natasha's eyes lock on the glow coming from down below. those were like two pieces of a puzzle. the sparkle her eyes had lost. it was what she needed to do. she nad nothing to live for. she had already disappointed you, and besides, it would bring your family back — the perfect call. you would be happy again. away from her. freed from her.

"promise me something?" she whispers, taking baby steps towards the edge, and Clint follows. "tell my love i'm sorry."

"Natasha, stop.'' he places his hand on her shoulder and turns her to look at him. he knew that look. determination, pure determination.

"five years. five years and all i did was screw up." she points at herself, voice shaking with raw emotion. "five years and i didn't do a single thing right. i never did, actually, but now its worse."

"Natasha—,"

"promise me." she repeats, desperately grabbing on Clint's suit, squeezing him. "promise me you'll tell them i'm sorry, that i loved them more than anything in the world. that they were the best thing that ever happened to me."

"no, you'll tell them yourself,"

"promise me!" she yells, feeling tears build on her eyes.

Clint stumbles backwards in awe, dumbfounded. what the hell was he going to do? lose Natasha like that? it didn't seem like she was going to back off from this, and if he didn't promise, he'd make her even more disappointed. and it took only a single nod from Clint for Natasha to use her widow's bite and punch him down against the floor, and run towards the end. "i'm sorry. i love you,"

"what the hell?" he mutters and squirms out of the webs, pulling out his hook — he hooks Natasha, and the other end, he hooks on the rock surface. they both hang out of the cliff. "you're a pain in the ass, y'know that?"

Natasha held onto Clint's wrist tightly, the thread of her lifeline almost breaking. she silently told Yelena a goodbye, letting the faint images of you and her together play on her brain. with that, she was in peace.

"no." he feels himself start to panic, as he restlessly tries to pull them both upwards again. failing. "please, Natasha."

"thank you for saving me. for not killing me on that rooftop on Budapest." she grabs her hand knife. "you gave me the chance to have the only thing i ever wanted."

a love. someone to call hers.

"it's okay." the redhead finishes, and takes a deep, final breath. "goodbye, Clint." she cuts the rope off.

the last thing she feels is the wind on her face, and then, an everlasting silence. oops, she doesn't feel anymore. the pain was over. it never existed. from now on, her soul would rest along the memories she had built with you. even if the memories of her suffering were stronger.

the soul stone was now in Clint's hands.

— ₊⊹ ★

"tell me you're lying." you shake your head, taking long, slow breaths.

"i'm so sorry—"

"tell me, you're fucking lying!"

your scream shatters Clint's heart more than he could handle. he looks down, shaking his head in denial.

"you're telling me, she sacrificed herself for the sake of a world who didn't value her," you sharply grab his arm and push him back against the wall. "in the past, in a complete foreign place, and i didn't even had the chance to see her again!?"

it was too much. you sob, covering your mouth and falling to the floor. Clint crouches down with you, his feelings matching yours exactly. you cry, wrapping your arms around yourself and trying to ignore the coldness from the tile floor — or just how cold your body actually felt.

"i'm sorry, Natasha," you whisper to the air, curling yourself into a ball. "i'm so sorry, my love. i'm so, so sorry. wherever you are, i hope you can hear me. i'm so goddamn sorry."

yeah, surely it wasn't going to be easy to live with the glimpse of her everywhere. you weren't even going to live with it. you'd do everything, everything to avenge her, something her own superhero friends didn't do — and go to see her once more.

the blip had destroyed everything. it took everything from you. thinking again, no, it wasn't cool to live with a bunch of superheroes.

( @scarjosii22, finalmente terminei a fanfic 😭 me matei pra escrever tudo isso, tô esperando meu pagamento 😋)

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0mysteiarchives · 1 year ago

Note

Heya! May I request a yandere!Firefly "protecting" reader from the big bad Sam? This Stellaron hunter keeps attacking you no matter where you go... but luckily, Firefly is always there to somehow save you while Sam is out of sight.

You don't know what you did to inquire Sam's spite... but all you know is that Firefly is the only chance you have of surviving... Just don't notice the fact that Sam always "attacks" when you're displeasing your savior.

"My Savior." Yandere!Firefly x Reader

"Won't you forgive me? Oh why? Oh why? Can't you see I am your savior?"

a/n: did my best to interpret it as best as i can (didnt understand it at first, but figured it out after :>), and hopefully this satisfies your request !! (i got a bit dry and silly in the end mb anon) this request contains: yandere themes , in a sense? manipulation(guilt tripping) , reader is easily angered and with sass , oh and they can fight :3

Getting into a disagreement with Firefly is the last thing you'd want to do.

You've been trying to lessen the arguments the two of you have been having, yes, but you can't help it sometimes and let your emotions take control.

"Can't you just stay right now? I promise we can talk this out!" She grabbed your wrist with pleading eyes just before you walked out the door. She's been awfully clingy now that your previous argument had ended and you were in no mood to deal with this right now. You shook your head.

"Sorry Firefly, I just need some space right now." You looked at the doorknob as you tried to downplay her request and hopefully get the approval to go.

Unfortunately, you didn't. You felt her grip tighten on your wrist.

"Please! I just want you to stay!" She kept begging you to stay and honestly? It only added to your not-so good mood as you let out a frustrated sigh and forcefully take back your wrist. "I told you, I just need time alone!" You didn't bother hearing what she had to say and quickly left.

The streets of Penacony were very noisy this time around: laughter, loud chattering, and more rang in your ears. You didn't bother fussing about it and just tried to block it out of your head.

You decided to walk to a more secluded area, however you feel someone watching you from afar..

If this was the first time, you would have been uneasy and nervous. But it's not like it is anymore. At this point, it was a regular thing when you're out all alone.

You stopped walking and pulled out your weapon, turning around to nothing, but you know he's here, just waiting for a time to strike.

"Is this the one time you're willing to talk about the things out or what?" It felt great amusing to taunt this 'enemy' of yours (even if you've never done anything to provoke the Stellaron Hunters), but truthfully your hands were a bit shaky and your grip on your weapon was tight.

You've come to many close encounters of death because of them, sometimes leaving you mildly injured with bruises and burns on your body.

In a blink of an eye, they stood not too far away from you. If appearances can make you feel intimidated, then whoever is in that mech armor is going to be the reason of your death, even with a simple glare.

"Well, at least I know we still won't be on good terms after this..Still don't know what I did to your group though." You sigh and get yourself into a fighting stance, preparing yourself as the hunter lunged towards you.

As expected, you were overpowered.

You staggered onto the floor, trembling as you looked up at the Stellaron Hunter who remained unharmed.

You did manage to dent a bit of the armor though, so that's one achievement before you die.

"Can't believe i'll die before apologizing to Firefly" You hissed at the searing pain throught your body. "I feel bad for lashing out at her now, even if I wasn't in a good mood she didn't deserve that.."

You felt lightheaded, everything started to be a blur in your hands and at this point if you could possibly pass in your sleep, that'd be for the better.

...

Oh wait, you're in Penacony.

..Alright, maybe this wasn't a good time to be joking around, but whatever distracts you from the incoming feeling of what might be a deep sleep. At this, you let yourself fall, tired from the fight.

Last thing you were able to see was the perpetrator leaving you at the scene.

"[Name]..please tell me you're alright.." You hear a familiar voice beside you, opening your eyes to also a familiar person.

Firefly.

You tried to embrace her in a tight hug, however your scars say something else. "Ack!-" You hiss and glance at your now bandaged injuries.

"I found you passed out on the floor, I got worried and carried you home.." She spoke as she gently held your hands this time. "I'm sorry..I- I should've went after you and apologized-"

"No!" You cut her off, cupping her cheeks with your bandaged hands. It did make her flinch but she relaxed from your gesture. "I didn't mean to lash out at you! I just..wasn't in the mood...."

You trail off on your words, shaking your head. "All I just mean to say is, i'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out at you and I'd hate to see you blame yourself for it."

Firefly's gaze softened as she wrapped you in a hug, as you return the gesture. In the end, she nursed you back to good health and you owe her for that.

...

"But..why is it always when you disagree with her, Sam attacks? "

Oh well, you're too tired to think about it right now; and you'd like to avoid ANOTHER fight right now.

#hsr firefly x reader #hsr x reader #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #yanderehonkaistarrail

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lurkingshan · 10 months ago

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Japanese QL Corner

Another week with lots of Japanese QL content! The first three are on Gaga, and I highly recommend jumping into the weekly watch!

Takara's Treasure

I'm very interested in what this show is doing. This week, we got a subplot about an actual creep to put Taishin's zealous interest in Takara into perspective, and we also got some explicit discussion of same sex attraction. Taishin continues to display extraordinary levels of naiveté, but for me this tracks because he is written as the kind of person who has been extraordinarily sheltered, perhaps by choice. It's not just that he's from the country, it's that he's the kind of kid who only wanted to talk to his pet bird and didn't seem to notice other humans until he was in his lowest moment of grief and a kind and beautiful boy helped him. It's not hard to believe that a kid like that would never have been in a group chat or contemplated whether he can like girls or boys. This is the story of Taishin coming out of his shell explicitly because he was drawn out by Takara, and I am curious to see where it's headed with its themes.

I Hear the Sunspot

A downbeat episode this week as the semester ends, the boys stop having an excuse to see each other regularly, Taichi tries to hide his encounter with Miho, and Kohei's hearing loss gets worse. The way these two kept missing and misunderstanding each other in this episode was painful. I am sitting with the way Taichi pulled back from their friendship following his encounter with Miho, and wondering how much of that is due to confusion over his own feelings of intense anger and protectiveness. In that scene under the bridge, it didn't just feel like he didn't get that Kohei's confession was serious, it felt like he wasn't listening to him. Taichi kept looking down and away the whole time Kohei was talking, and then when Kohei asked him a direct question, he refused to answer. I get that he wants to protect Kohei (though honestly, refusing to explain himself is far more hurtful to Kohei than telling him about a girl he barely knows being ableist), but it felt like more than that. Taichi was putting up a wall around himself. This episode was more in Kohei's perspective, so I am hoping we will get a bit more inside Taichi's head next week.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko

This week was not as zany but it was an important transition episode for Hiroko, as she finally seems to realize that Ayaka is serious about liking her, though she still hasn't figured out what to do with that. One of my favorite things about this show is how horny these two are for each other; it's very fun to watch Ayaka try all her best moves while Hiroko fights it every step of the way. I liked the business trip and the chance to meet some new characters (including a butch chairperson!). This show feels very specifically rooted in a lesbian experience and always finds ways to bring those touch points in.

Bonus: Ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka

All 11 episodes of this excellent show are now available on @isaksbestpillow's blog! Unfortunately I am not able to watch today, but I will be posting my final thoughts on this awesome show as soon as I get the chance. It's one of my favorite dramas of the year.

Tagging @bengiyo to add a manga update

#japanese ql corner #takara no vidro #takara's treasure #i hear the sunspot #hidamari ga kikoeru #ayaka is in love with hiroko #ossan no pantsu ga nandatte ii janai ka #japanese bl #japanese gl #jdrama #shan shouts into the void

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swarvey · 10 months ago

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paper rings | harvey x f!reader

summary -> you decide to surprise harvey with a belated birthday gift; harvey tries to fight off some unwelcome thoughts. warnings -> none! harvey just has some horny thoughts. wc -> 3357

a/n: surprise, an update!!

i loved writing this chapter. i actually feel like this song could have fit well as this story's title as well!! very excited for the upcoming chapters, though i am a little sad to think this will eventually have to end </3

well, either way, hope you enjoy ! <333 seeing y'all comment and stuff honestly is so heartwarming, so thank you all!!!

ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12

paper rings masterlist

chapter eleven: state of grace -> "this is the golden age of something good and right and real."

Your eyes opened to the warmth of sunlight flowing through your window, a relaxed breath escaping you. A pleasant smile settled on your face as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and remembering the words Harvey had confessed to you the previous night.

I love you.

For a split second, you wondered if you dreamt it all, if it’d all been too good to be true.

Then, you saw that the bouquet was still missing from its usual spot on your wall, and you knew it had all been real.

You grinned, sitting up with a renewed energy. Finally, you were able to wrench out the phrase you craved to hear from your best friend. Despite the efforts — and pain — it took to get there, you still managed to do it, which, in your eyes, was all that really mattered.

You recalled the insecurities Harvey had spilled to you; more so, how he felt he didn’t deserve you. Out of everything that happened, those words hurt by far the most. You saw the torn, broken look in his eyes, knowing him well enough to see past it and realize his wounds weren’t fresh. You didn’t even want to know how long his horrid thoughts had stewed in his head. Probably way too long. What a terrible way to spend his birthday.

Then, an idea struck you — one that you knew would take the majority of the day and your best efforts, but you felt in your heart it would all be worth it to see his face light up. Besides, Harvey had never hesitated in the past to put you at the top of his list of priorities.

You figured it was time to give back.

“Forgive me.”

“Elliott, please—”

“I know,” the overly dramatic poet choked out, grasping Harvey’s hand with both of his as if his life depended on it. “It’s terrible of me to ask you this, I know, but please, forgive me for the trouble I caused, my friend. I just . . .” Elliott looked up at the doctor, his bottom lip trembling and eyes filled with guilt. “I just couldn’t stand the feeling of lying to Leah, and I knew she had no ill intentions, either, but— oh, I know it’s no excuse for what I did!”

After his birthday, Harvey decided it was finally time to reconnect with his two supportive friends, shooting them both quick texts to meet him at the Stardrop the following evening. He roughly explained everything that happened with you, not forgetting to mention the stinging silence he initially left you with. Elliott’s face dropped when he got to the part where you told him you knew about everything, how Leah had taken the big step to be the one to tell you. Fortunately, his friends were as understanding as ever, more happy than anything that he got the chance to reconcile with you.

Unfortunately, Elliott decided the guilt weighing on his shoulders could only be lifted by apologizing for nearly twenty minutes straight.

“And here I thought my life couldn’t get any worse,” Shane gruffed, only half joking. He proceeded to roll his eyes so hard Harvey worried he would hurt himself. “Fuckin’ hell, just forgive him already, would ya, doc? I can’t stand this anymore.”

Harvey scratched the back of his neck before placing his free hand on Elliott’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s fine, Elliott, I promise,” he replied, unable to keep the amusement out of his tone. “It’s my fault for not telling her, after all. Besides, it all worked out, anyhow.”

“A-are you certain?” He leaned forward, nearly toppling over his seat onto the Stardrop’s floor. “How can you be so kind? It’s truly inspiring, doctor, you must let me buy you a meal for your generosity!”

“With what money, pal?”

Elliott fell back into his seat with a huff, managing a glare at his friend before sipping his drink. “With the money I made from selling my first novel, thank you oh-so very much.”

Harvey blinked in surprise, while Shane gawked at him. “Are you being serious?”

Elliott’s chest puffed up in pride. “Completely. Of course, my first patron was Leah, but I’m planning on having a live book reading at the library soon!” Harvey smiled warmly at the sight of his friend’s joyful expression, proud to see his hard work come to fruition.

Then, Shane frowned slightly and shifted in his seat. “What, so you didn’t even bother to ask me for one? C’mon, the least you could do after buggin’ me about this damn book for nearly a year is offer me a copy. Geez.”

A pause. “You . . . actually want one?”

“Yeah, yeah, save the sap, it’ll make me barf.” He paused. “It’s kid-friendly, right? I’ll get two, give one to Jas. Maybe one for Vincent, too, fuck it.”

Harvey could only laugh as he watched Elliott pull Shane into an unreciprocated hug, his eyes gleaming with grateful tears and he tightly wrapped his arms around him. Despite his loud, profanity-filled protests, there was a light in Shane’s gaze that hadn’t been there a couple seasons ago. After promising to see the therapist Harvey recommended to him, he’d slowly begun to make progress, even deciding to replace his usual beer at the saloon with a glass of pop instead.

“Alright, enough!” Shane finally regained his stance in his seat, running a hand through his ruffled hair. He mumbled something neither of them could hear, but Elliott beamed nonetheless.

“I hope you’ll save me one, Elliott,” Harvey said sincerely. “Though, by the looks of it, you might have quite the fan already.”

“Shut it, doc.”

Elliott let out a hearty laugh and gestured to Emily for an order. “Well then, my dear doctor, you must emphasize on your reunion with your lover,” he pressed on, looking at him eagerly, “but not before I order you a promised meal.”

“What’ll it be, gentlemen?” Emily asked as she wandered over, looking at the three with a bright smile. Her gaze stopped at Harvey. “Hey, what a nice surprise! I haven’t seen you here in a bit. I hope you’re doing alright, people have been saying they haven’t seen much of you lately.”

He cleared his throat, nodding. “There were a few . . . things, I had to deal with, but it’s all cleared up now.”

She hummed, but something about her look was a little too knowing. “Well, that’s all that matters, right? As long as you’re okay.” She leaned in a little then, close enough so she could whisper in his ear. “Haley’s just about ready to murder you, though. Thought I should give you a heads up.”

She smiled sympathetically when Harvey groaned, covering his face with his hands. He didn’t even bother to hear what Elliott ordered him and focused on the fact that one of your closest friends in town was probably plotting his murder.

“Everyone knows, don’t they?” he asked, voice muffled. He lowered his hands to see Shane hiding his smirk with his drink while Elliott sighed.

“I wish I could tell you otherwise, but yes,” the writer responded promptly. “I wouldn’t fear too much, though, especially if the two of you are on good terms! I’m sure she’ll clear the air.”

The door to the saloon opened, and — as if your mentioning had summoned you — you walked in wearing your work clothes, dirt and grass stains covering the front of your overalls. Your eyes met his immediately, and Harvey instantly looked away, feeling as if he had just seen his crush in the hallway. You tended to have that effect on him.

After the two of you shared a kiss the night before, he insisted on walking you home, tightly holding your hand the entire way. He was visibly reluctant to leave your side, allowing himself to, for once, be as clingy as he felt. When the two of you reached your front porch, he’d grabbed your hips and drew you closer to his body, looking at you with nothing but pure adoration.

“We have a long way to go, don’t we?” he asked softly, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek.

You hummed in agreement, turning slightly to kiss his palm. “Good thing we’ve got all the time in the world, right?” Your eyes seemed to glitter when he looked at you, his breath faltering.

Harvey didn’t know why your words made him feel the way he did — then again, he couldn’t explain a lot of things he felt when it came to you — but in that moment, a wave of gratefulness washed over him, and he couldn’t help but pull you in for another gentle kiss. He thought back to what you had told him all those years ago, how he had good karma, and he decided you might have been right after all. There was no other explanation as to why you were still in his arms after all the trouble he caused.

“You truly are my weakness,” he blurted suddenly. “My vulnerability, the crack in my defense. I think I would do anything for you.”

You laughed at his words, and the sound made his heart race. “You’ve been hanging out with Elliott too much.” You paused then, leaning in closer to his ear. “Is that a promise, Harvs? Anything?”

He shivered, swallowing hard. “Of course.”

Just when he thought he’d earned another taste of your lips — a rougher one maybe, one that led to your bedroom — you pulled away, sporting a mischievous half-smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chirped happily. “Goodnight!”

Harvey let out another groan at the thought, trying to ignore the stir in his pants. We’ll take it slow, he reminded himself, not even noticing your figure appearing beside him. We have all the time in the world.

“Earth to Harvey, hello?” you sang, waving a hand in front of his face. “You there? Or is nobody home?”

He scowled as his friends stifled their laughter, though managed a smile when he turned to greet you. “Hello,” he sighed, pushing his glasses up. “Ignore them, please. I’m not sure why I associate with them.”

“Hey, a ‘thank you’ would be nice, buddy,” Shane said, voice dripping in leftover humor. “We’re the ones who’ve listened to all your little love-sick rants.”

You perked a brow. “Love-sick, huh?”

“Let’s go for a walk, shall we?” Harvey desperately suggested, taking out his wallet and throwing some coins on the table for his drinks. “I’ll talk to you two later. And, thank you,” he rushedly added. As he grabbed your hand and practically dragged you out of the saloon, he missed their lopsided grins at his words.

Harvey let out a long breath as he stepped outside, resting his hands on his hips. “I felt like I was suffocating in there,” he admitted, finding your hand once again.

You snorted. “Looked like it,” you replied, lacing your fingers with his. “I was looking for you, anyway. Did you get my text?”

He blinked, grabbing his phone out of his pocket with his other hand to find one unread message from you.

Y/N : you at the saloon? i’ve got a surprise for you

“A surprise?” he wondered aloud. “For me?”

“Yes, Harvey, that’s what I said.” You smiled at his embarrassed frown, leading him through the plaza toward the clinic. “C’mon, I’ve been working on it all day!”

Just as he was about to question you further, a figure with long blonde hair and a blue tank top marched in front of him, successfully cutting off his hold on you.

“Don’t think I’ll forgive you as easily,” Haley snapped, and Harvey flinched at her furious tone. “You’re a real lucky guy, you know that, right? ‘Cause if I were her, I would have taken those glasses and shoved ‘em right up your—”

“Haley! There you are,” Leah laughed awkwardly as she grabbed the blonde’s arm, attempting to tug her away. “We’re going to miss the movie, dear. Let’s go.” She turned to Harvey, and he was glad to be met with much kinder eyes. “I’m glad you’re alright, Harvey. We’ll see you around.” Leah’s eyes lit up. “Oh, and happy birthday! Even though it’s a day late.”

“Thank you,” he responded, anxiously glancing at Haley. A pout rested on her lips as her partner nudged her.

“Yeah, whatever, happy birthday, I guess,” she mumbled, and you laughed at her reaction. Her expression lightened after that, the ends of her mouth lifting slightly. “I expect a call later, okay?”

“Will do.” You waved at the couple as they walked away, grabbing Harvey’s arm and continuing to lead him. “She’s pretty mad, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Really?” he asked dryly, fiddling with his tie. “I thought she seemed quite happy to see me.” You rolled your eyes, excitedly bringing him up the stairs to the fountain. “What is it, exactly?”

“What’s, what?”

“The surprise.”

You huffed, walking past the fountain. “Well, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you, would it?”

“I . . . suppose not, no.”

“Then be patient, we’re almost there.”

You only stopped when the two of you reached the Community Center, two birds chirping curiously down at your arrival. Harvey examined the building, noticing how, despite it looking as beat up as it usually did, it felt more welcoming.

Before he could continue, you swiftly snatched his glasses off his face, covering his eyes with your hands.

“What—”

“Just go with it, Harvs, please? ”

The pleading tone of your request nearly sent him spiraling. Nearly.

Take it slow.

He nodded, swallowing thickly once again. You’re going to be the death of me, he thought. He almost voiced it to you the door opened, but was interrupted before he got the chance.

“I felt a little bad yesterday night,” you admitted, leading him somewhere unknown. “With everything going on between us, it was hard to plan something for your birthday.”

He sighed, a pang of guilt running through his chest. “Now, you know none of that is—”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupted. “It’s over now, and we’re . . . good. Better than good, I think.” Harvey smiled, wishing he could see your face. “And, even though it’s not really your birthday anymore, I still wanted to give you something better than a dried bouquet.”

“That bouquet means much more to me than you think. It’s all I need, really,” he said softly, then willed himself to say his next words. “You’re all I need.”

“And you’re being a big ‘ol softie.”

Suddenly, he felt your hands drop, slowly blinking his eyes open. Of course, at first, all he could make out were blurbs of green and white.

“Um—” Although he couldn’t see, Harvey could practically hear you roll your eyes as you passed him his glasses.

“Surprise.”

He couldn’t believe it.

In front of him was a completely refurbished room in the Community Center, the walls smooth and the flooring void of any faults. That, in itself, was impressive to him.

The room wasn’t exactly what caught his eye, though.

No, what caught Harvey’s attention was the various model planes scattered across the room, along with the small workbench in the corner.

“I had to go into the city to find those, it took me all day,” you explained, trying to read his reaction. His mouth remained parted as he walked around, taking his time to take in everything. “This is meant to be the Crafts Room. Mayor Lewis asked me to fix this place up a while ago, and that’s where I met the Junimos. Thought I’d add my own touch, though.”

Harvey nodded absentmindedly. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. Quite frankly, he was in shock, unable to believe what you had done for him. His gaze only pried away when a familiar squeak sounded beneath him. He smiled as Blueberry hugged his foot.

The spirit looked at him expectedly, as if asking, Do you like it?

“It’s—” He stopped then, finally turning to face you. Warm tears filled Harvey’s eyes as he stepped forward and engulfed you in his arms, burying your face in his neck. “It’s more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you.”

He felt you slump in relief, gladly wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad you like it,” you breathed, pulling back to see his face. “You had me worried there for a second. I thought it was too much.”

“No, this is perfect.” Harvey laughed, bright and unlike he’d ever laughed before, and kissed you. “I can’t even find the words to explain how I feel.”

You grinned. “Maybe ‘happy’ could give you a good start.”

“No, that’s too big of an understatement.”

“Hm. ‘Joyous,’ then?”

“I believe those are synonyms, honey.”

You blinked, a blush creeping up your neck. Harvey didn’t notice, too busy walking over to the desk that seemed made for him. Blueberry poked your ankle, and you took it as a sign to stick out your hand. The Junimo happily walked up your arm, settling down on your shoulder and closing its eyes.

“This . . . this looks just like the one I had in my grandparents’ house as a kid,” he realized, eyes widening.

“You used to spend so much time sitting there, working on your planes, ignoring me,” you added playfully. “If you ever get bored, you can come here, now. Add to your collection. You can show them off to everyone, too, after I finish rebuilding everything.”

He flushed at that, turning to meet your eyes. “No, I couldn’t, i-it’s too embarrassing—”

“Harvey. If this —” You swept your arm around the room. “—is what you enjoy, you shouldn’t hide it. It’s an important part of you, and I know everyone in town would be impressed.” You gently tugged at his hand, holding it strongly in your own. “Plus, I find it very endearing, you know.”

He raised a brow, grabbing your other hand. “Really? Building model airplanes is something you look for in a partner?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Harvey shook his head, tilting it as he studied your gaze. “This is still so surreal,” he muttered, glancing down at your interlaced fingers. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

You nodded, then smiled. “You know, I never would have guessed this.” You lifted your hands slightly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Now that it’s real, though, I’m not sure I’ll ever let you go.”

Harvey’s heart was just about ready to leap from his chest.

“You won’t ever have to,” he vowed. “Never again.”

“That’s a big promise.”

“It’s one I’m willing to make.”

“When did you get so bold?”

“When you became mine.”

Your eyes narrowed, flicking between his eyes and lips. “Is that what I am?” you questioned, voice light and innocent. “Yours?”

Slow, Harvey. You said you would take it slow.

He feigned a cough, looking away. “That’s what the bouquet meant, right?” he asked, raising one hand to swipe his mustache. “It means we’re official.”

The look you gave him was teasing, dangerous, but you covered it up with a laugh, starting to walk with him back towards the door. Blueberry had disappeared from your shoulder at some point; Harvey guessed even spirits grew tired of couples dancing around each other.

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

“‘Home’?”

You looked back at him, huffing. “We’re official, right? That means you get to help me finish up the chores for the day.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded.

Chores. He could do chores. He’d done plenty of chores with you before, when the ache in your grandfather’s back became too much and he needed a couple extra pair of hands. Chores would be good for him, Harvey thought. They would keep his mind off the uncomfortable tightness in his pants that’d been taunting him for hours, keep his dirty thoughts at bay, hopefully even keep some distance between the two of you, just for a little. Just until he could calm himself down and remind himself he was supposed to be going slow.

“You can spend the night, too.”

His face fell.

I’m screwed.

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ashensgrotto · 1 year ago

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Never Had A Friend (Like Me) - Part 3

Original art piece by pfbatakopd on twitter (Used only for Header. Do NOT REPOST ORIGINAL ART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (You Are Here)

YandereSoulmate! AU:

Part 1 (Am I Feeling Love?)

Part 2 (Protective)

Part 3A & Part 3B (Poor Unfortunate Souls)

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto X F!Reader

Word Count: 9,105

Synopsis: A chance for redemption comes in the form of a wish…

Author’s Notes: Ok, here we go. I received an anonymous message in my inbox for the next part of the Yandere!Soulmate series and I was actually going to work on it - but with the arrival of GloMas, working on the next part of ‘Raison D’être,’ wanting to finish “Weren’t You Aware, Angelfish?”, AND the holidays, time got away from me and I forgot about Scarabia’s segment for a short while.

However, because you all seem to enjoy this and want to know if the tako has redeemed himself - I figured I would work to get this part done. Now, warning - Pompefiore’s part is going to take a bit of time to complete because I will have to wiggle my way through my memory bank and replay a few parts of it (which is approx 76 chapters in length for those players who haven’t made it that far into the game yet) since I’m working so deep into Ignihyde’s chapter right now (which is a doozy - I’m still in chapter 67-tower 1, oof help).

This one is also going to be split into three parts - I promise it will not be a long wait for the second & third parts as this is my Christmas gift to all of my readers <3

Thank you all for your continued support!

Notes: Last part of 'A Friend like Me'!

Pompfiore's part will take some time to go through - I'm likely going to be busy up until the second or third week of January, hence I will be taking a short Hiatus from Yandere!Soulmate AU to focus on a few other projects. I will also be updating Raison D’être in the next few weeks after the holidays have passed.

Thank you everyone for your continued support and I will see you in the next story!

Warnings are as follows: yandere behaviors, manipulation, imprisonment, & hypnosis

***

Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that?

Can your friends pull this out their little hats?

Can your friends go - POOF!

***

Azul shook his head as he pulled himself up off the ground after landing, brushing himself off. He took in his surroundings, noticing that he still seemed to be within the Scarabia dorm, but unsure of where. Sands still surrounded him from all angles - making him feel more like a mer out of water than anything else - and a noticeable chill hung in the air, cold enough to make out the fiat traces of one’s breath as it hung in the air. Azl’s eyes shifted around as his mind began to refocus. Where was he? And… where were you?

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)!” he spun around before hearing your grunt as you pulled yourself up from under a pile of sand and fur.

“Owww…” Grim clutched at his head, his eyes screwed shut as he moaned softly, “I really can’t catch a break around here…”

“I feel that…” you sigh, sitting back on your knees, gripping your lower back as you wince in pain.

“(Y/n)! Are you alright?!” Azul moved quickly, his breath coming out in pants as he knelt beside you, his gloved hands tilting your head up to examine you.

You were covered in sand and were shivering from the cold, your teeth chattering as you took in deep breaths. Your face had a cut on the forehead and your eyes seemed a little hazy, dazed from the landing. You steadied yourself against Azul’s hold, the warmth of his gloves warming your cheeks.

“I’m alive… barely. It felt like he knocked us into next week and then some.”

“It would appear that he flung us some distance. Are you two alright?”

“Fine - given that we were knocked to the ends of the earth,” you answer as Azul pulls you up with Grim in your arms, “Where’s Jade? Floyd? Kalim?”

“Over here, shrimpy!” the tuba voice of Floyd spoke a little ways away as he approached, his arms wrapped around himself, “Brr! It’s seriously cold here. It’s like we’re under the ice floes or somethin’.”

You feel a shudder rattle through you as Azul wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to keep you semi-warm under the covering of his overcoat. The temperature here was noticeably different from when you were in the Scarabia dorm - it would seem that at the edge of the desert dorm was freezing like the inside of an icebox.

Jade was crouched beside Kalim, the ex-headwarden of Scarabia, rubbing his forehead as the others approached, “Where am I?”

“Good, you’re awake,” Jade sighed in relief, “I believe we are at the edge of the dimension that contains the Scarbia dorm.”

“So… Jamil literally did send us to the ends of the earth,” Grim chirped in surprise, before glowering, “When we get back there, I’m going ta let ‘im have it-”

“How, though?” you asked, “We don’t have any carpets, or brooms.”

“And with this cold, I doubt Kalim and (Y/n) will last long out here,” Azul nodded in agreement.

“It’ll be a slog,” Floyd shrugged, “but walkin’s our only way back.”

“Floyd,” Azul growled, “we spent quite a bit of time in flight before we landed here. It could take hours - wait, more likely days at this rate - to trudge back on foot. And… I can’t take another minute of you with that voice. I’m tearing up the contract and annulling it.”

“O-oh c-come on, Azul,” you shiver, trying to be light-hearted, “H-he’s h-having f-fun.”

“Having fun, my ass, (Y/n),” Azul grumbled, “That voice is annoying me - even more so than his normal one. Back to the old voice, Floyd.”

“Aww… but I like bein’ all baritone.”

A snap of his fingers and the contract disintegrated, leaving Floyd clearing his throat as his normal voice returned to him.

Kalim let out a soft sniffle then, “Jamil… I trusted you.”

“Hey, you cryin’, sea otter? Your tears are gonna freeze over, ya know,” Floyd asked.

“It’s all my fault…” Kalim sobbed a little harder, “I drove Jamil to the brink without realizing it. The real Jamil would never do such things! He’s a good guy… always helping me… giving me a shoulder to lean on… and… and…”

Azul rolled his eyes. Before he could open his mouth however -

“Isn’t th-that the a-a-attitude r-right there what d-drove him to th-the b-brink?” you asked, your voice shaking still from the cold.

“Wh-what…?” Kalim looked at you in awe.

“Yikes, (Y/n) - you do go for the jugular sometimes…” Grim spoke up from his spot.

“I’m with shrimpy on this,” Floyd agreed, turning toward Kalim, “Sea otter, you’re… TOO nice. It’s kinda grating.”

“Grating?”

“Yes,” Jade nodded in agreement, “If I were betrayed in the same way you were - I’d lash out with a torrent of unmitigated verbal abuse to break them down mentally, then bind them and drag them beneath the waves. The way you blame yourself and to excuse Jamil’s behavior is… a tad galling.”

“Galling? Really? Kalim asked this as if it was a compliment, “But… Jamil would never betray me…”

“News flash; he did,” Floyd shouted.

“A-And the w-way he w-was m-making you out to be the b-bad guy and get you expelled is even m-more nerve-wracking,” you explain, “H-However… I d-do understand why Jamil d-did it.”

“Huh?” Kalim and Grim looked at you in shock.

“Allow me to explain,” Azul adjusted his glasses, “Kalim - you carry yourself like a goody-two-shoes, laughing off conflict with a flippant word or two. Those remarks, however, are barbs on the skin to those that are calculating and twisted - Jamil and myself being prime examples. They might seem like nothing, but to us - it makes us go crazy and push harder to see you reach your breaking point.”

“And w-when you d-didn’t, Jamil t-took alternative m-measures,” you finish.

“You seem to really know the inner workings here, (Y/n),” Grim commented, looking up at you.

“T-Takes one t-to know one,” you answer, looking at Azul.

“I would argue, though, that in Kalim’s case,” Jade spoke, clasping his hands behind his back, “that it might be simply a case of naturally innocent disposition.”

“So… what you’re saying is… that Jamil’s… a bad guy?”

“Extremely,” everyone says in unison.

“In that case,” Kalim stands, resting his hands on his hips, “I’d better get back fast! I have to punch Jamil and yell ‘Traitor!’”

“You ought to make him march to the oasis and back ten times,” Grim growled, his ears falling behind his head.

“That, and we’ll need to bring him to his senses fast,” Azul agreed, “If we don’t, his magic reserves will run dry and his life could be in danger.”

“And thus that puts us back where this whole conversation started,” Floyd grumbled, “How’d we get back? Walkin’?”

“If there was a river, we could swim back,” Jade commented, looking around, “Though, it appears the rivers here are all dried out.”

“So, lack of water is the problem?” Kalim asked with a knowing smile.

“Of course,” Azul answered, “Floyd and Jade can easily outpace brooms and magic carpets for that matter when they’re in their true forms. However, we can’t exactly restore a river - even my own magic wouldn’t be able to -”

“Maybe you can’t, but I can!”

“What?!”

“‘Oasis Maker’!” your eyes widened, “Kalim! T-That’s it!”

“What do you mean?” Azul asked, looking down at you, “I thought Grim said it was only a glorified waterspout.”

“‘Oasis Maker’ allows me to produce an enormous volume of water with just a smidgen of magical power,” Kalim explained, “If I make you a river, you can get us back to the dorm, right?”

“T-that’s… your signature spell?! That’s insane!”

“It’s pretty useless when you have running water, though,” Kalim shrugged.

“Some countries don’t HAVE that sort of infrastructure!” Azul shouted, “Great Sevens, Kalim! Your power would make you nothing short of a HERO to those people! That’s… that’s… ABSURDLY marketable!”

“Azul!” you smack his cheek light, returning him to the task at hand.

“Kalim, if you would oblige us?” Jade asked.

“Of course! One river coming right up!” Kalim smiled, closing his eyes as magic began to encircle him, “Then water you shall have… and I’ll make it cool and refreshing for you! Respite in the scalding sands, a never ending party. Dance! Sing! Oasis Maker!”

***

The dorm was still cloaked in darkness by the time the group returned, sneaking into the lounge.

The students of the Scarabia dorm all encircled Jamil, who lounged before them in the headwarden’s chair as he ordered the students about, each of them still entrapped in a puppet-like state.

“The good thing is that he hasn’t gone too far to the point of no return yet,” Jade commented, looking over the banister before turning to the group, “Azul - do we have a plan?”

“We’ll have to snap Jamil out of his trance as you’ve done to me,” Azul answered, “But we also need to get close enough for both Kalim and (Y/n) to reach him.”

“Huh?” Grim asked, “What do you mean?”

“I agree, it would be too dangerous for (Y/n) to get involved with this,” Jade answered.

You looked over at Jamil, a feeling and the same urge slowly growing within you.

“You feel it, then?” Azul asked you softly.

You turn and give him a slow nod, “I do.”

Azul huffed - he had little choice in the matter. He turned to the others, “Here’s the plan - (Y/n) and Kalim will take this side of Jamil while Jade, Floyd, and I distract him. Grim - I��m expecting you to form a barrier to keep unwanted guards out of the way.”

“No worries, Azul,” Grim gave a mischievous smirk of confidence, “Grim the Great is at your service!”

“Do you think we’ll be able to pull it off?” you ask quietly.

“Trust me, angelfish,” Azul winked, “You know what to do.”

The group split, hiding themselves among the crowd of students, slowly inching forward toward Jamil.

“Haha! That’s it… go on,” Jamil’s twisted voice spoke as he sat back in his chair, closing his eyes, “keep singing my praises.”

“I never realized what a gallant figure you cut.”

“You oughta LIVE on a throne…”

“Your intelligence is beyond compare.”

“There’s royalty, then there’s you.”

“You look so strong and powerful!”

“Jamil, Jamil, he’s our man, if he can’t do it… GREAT!”

Jamil bolted upright at the sight of the five exiled students standing before him, “Wait, it’s YOU?! I sent you to the ends of this dimension! How did you get back so fast?!”

Kalim stepped forward, a hand in front of you while Scarabia’s headwarden staff was clutched in his hand, “I filled a dry river with water and we swam back.”

“Not that it was a cakewalk,” Floyd growled, “I’ll tell ya - I’m pretty worn out!”

“Tch,” Jamil tsked darkly, “Now I see… you used Kalim’s signature spell. And here I’d written it off as a worthless gift only good for watering plants or filling a pool.”

“Heh - you clearly don’t appreciate Kalim’s power for what it is then,” Azul shrugged, gripping his cane tighter.

“Jamil - I now see what you’ve thought of me all this time. There can be no question now - you are a coward and a traitor!” Kalim shouted, “Face me in combat! I’ll win back the housewarden seat you’ve stolen from me.”

“You accuse me of stealing?” Jamil stood, the overblot power growing around him, “You’re the one who stole everything from me! Now you shall witness my true power! Cower before my might! Phenomenal… cosmic… power!”

A fire bolt was flung and everyone ducked as the puppet dorm launched forward.

Grim blew a wall of fire up, preventing the students from getting involved and kept his guard up should any of them attempt to bypass the barrier. Floyd and Jade shot forward, pens at the ready and spewed fire and flora at Jamil’s attacks, Azul following close behind. Kalim worked from the side, keeping you behind him as he waited for his opening.

Azul dodged an attack, gritting his teeth, “Sevens! How much power has he been hiding all this time?!”

“I refuse to give up!” Kalim shouted, a wave of water mixing with Azul’s ice shield forced Jamil further back, the overblotted vice warden now taking on the defense.

Suddenly, Jamil’s power made everyone lose their footing, the group falling to the ground, “You little fools… you thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth!”

“Jamil! Snap out of it!” Kalim begged, looking up at his friend-turned-enemy, “You have always been powerful! You don’t need that darkness to prove otherwise!”

“You don’t understand!” Jamil shouted, “You always had to be the best! You always had to be better than me! I could never outdo you! I. Wasn’t. ALLOWED. TO! I was FINALLY going to be free… to be number one…”

As Jamil raised his hand, a figure darted to him… and another resounding ‘smack!’ echoed in the room as Jamil fell back.

“Jamil!” Kalim rushed forward, but was held back by Azul.

“Kalim! Wait!” Azul shouted.

“Azul? What’s going on?” Jade asked as he and Floyd watched on.

You stood before Jamil - eyes locked on each other as tears suddenly began to appear in Jamil’s eyes.

“Jamil…” your voice was soft, barely above a whisper, “I’m so sorry you had to endure that life… to be forced to hide your true self behind the pretense of incompetence, to always be… second-rate. I know that pain of wanting to be number one, too. Life… has truly been unfair to you - but this is not the way to fight back. You fight back… by simply being you - show your true strength in your magic… in your abilities. Then… you’ll get the recognition you want and deserve.”

Jamil’s features shifted before them, an arrangement of anger, frustration, fear… and sorrow. He bowed his head and the darkness slowly receded from his form.

Azul and Kalim moved quickly - Azul to your side and Kalim to Jamil’s. Kalim leaned over Jamil’s form as the vicewarden slowly reawoken.

“Ngh… Where am I?”

“Good,” Azul smiled as he sat with you at Jamil’s other side, “You’ve regained your senses.”

Kalim started to sniffle before large fat tears rolled down his cheeks - the regained housewarden pressing his face into the carpeting as he cried Jamil’s name, “I-I’m so glad you’re alive… so so glad…”

“Must you always be so dramatic?” Jamil sighed, sitting up, “I’m fine.”

“I… I never knew… how miserable you were all this time *sniff* *hic*. A-All this time… I never knew *sniff* just how much I put you through… So, l-let’s just stop. We can stop holding back on account of our social status.”

“Um… what?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly as Kalim explained - relieved that the two could act as rivals for the spot of number one and - to be equals. Azul arched a brow at you in silent question.

“Azul - mind if I talk to you?”

“Not at all, angelfish.”

He followed you out into the hallway, away from mischievous eyes as you took a breath and gave the headwarden a small smile, “First and foremost - I want to thank you for your help. I know that it normally isn’t like you to poke your… tentacles in other people’s businesses unless there’s a deal to be had.”

“(Y/n),” Azul gave you a smirk, resting his hand on your shoulder, “If you recall when you first came here, I said I would take responsibility for you.”

“You also promised to get me home,” you reminded him.

“Yes - I did. The point I’m trying to make here is that… regardless of if you’re in Octavinelle or not, I will still want to protect you - to make sure you’re safe,” Azul answered, “Have I not done just that? Does this not prove that I’m more than willing to at least be there when you need it most?”

You let out a sigh and nod, “I suppose so.”

Azul nodded, tilting your head up to meet his gaze, “(Y/n), I want to be there for you, to help you… will you at least allow me a second chance to prove that I’m more than what I appear?”

You look at Azul wearily, your gaze shifting a bit before meeting his eyes again.

His sea blue eyes, framed by the semi-rimmed glasses, still held a possessive desire within them - however, hope also burned within. He could have turned you away when you had initially asked for help, he could have ensnared you in a bubble - take away your voice - or even turn you into a mermaid again… and yet he didn’t. As you looked into his gaze, it seemed all Azul wanted… was another chance.

You let out a soft sigh and nod, “I think you should, and I believe you do. I would prefer to rewarm myself back up to you - which means I would like to stay in Ramshackle with Grim.”

Azul nodded, as much as he wanted to argue. He needed to get you to trust him again - which meant he would have to work extra hard to earn your favor again, “Very well. If you would like - I would be willing to help give you a few things that would help with the accommodations greatly. Whatever you wish, I will make it happen.”

“And what will you get out of it?” you ask, already knowing that Azul was looking for something.

“Your time,” Azul answered with a smile, “To be honest, the students of Octavinelle miss working with you. I know the headmage has you running ragged with janitorial duties, but if you could work a day or two in the lounge - I will consider it more than enough payment.”

“And, during my shifts, you’d be able to talk with me while we’re working.”

“Correct,” the headwarden nodded, “Does this seem like a fair deal to you?”

You nod in agreement, “More than, thank you.”

Azul offers a gloved hand, which you took with a shake.

The first steps to amending the bridge were in place… as well as the first steps toward an unknown trap.

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