#worst job I have EVER had
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You don’t understand how many PetSmart flashbacks this scene in RoE 2 gave me 😭😭😭
#worst job I have EVER had#look okay#the customers fucking sucked yadda yadda#the customers always suck#BUT THE CRICKETS!!!! EUUUUGH!!!#rules of engagement#choices rules of engagement#choices roe#choices stories you play#playchoices#choices stories we play#pixelberry#pixelberry studios#playchoices fandom#choices stories you play fandom#choices stories we play fandom
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#the emperor#the emperor bg3#emperor bg3#bg3#baldur's gate 3#mind flayer#illithid#i have the worst art block i've ever had. it's been MONTHS#but the squid keeps manipulating me to draw him#his pretty pink eyes do be doing their job fr fr#my art
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The other day I was at work and I had this table of all old women dressed to the nines and there was one in this little zebra print number with some sort of feathered something it was truly a wonder to behold and my (heterosexual) (presumably not terminally online) coworker goes “what is she wearing” and without really thinking I go “it’s called cunt and she’s serving it.” You can’t imagine the look I got
#JUST REALIZED MY PROBLEM WITH THIS JOB BTW. NONE OF MY COWORKERS ARE GAY THAT I KNOW OF#I’ve always had gay coworkers. and like a lot of them. shout out to the first girl to ever flirt with me <3.#there’s probably someone who’s gay but listen I have. the worst gaydar.
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No but let’s talk about the whole Apokalips thing in Our Worlds At War. Young Justice 1:35–37, Superboy 1:91, Impulse 1:89.
Kon really, really screwed up. His impulsive and insubordinate actions, expressly against Robin’s orders and in full opposition to the rescue mission they were engaged on, led directly to:
the permanent death of one team member (Slobo is not Lil Lobo even if he does have his memories, and neither are any of the other regenerated Lobos, most of whom also die; original Lobo remains dead)
the partial death of another (Bart is in a coma for over a week after experiencing the death of his speedforce duplicate)
the start of Greta’s corruption arc via Darkseid
and the torture and thorough traumatisation of the rest of team (they are held in VR worlds where they are forced to live through the deaths of their loved ones and their own deaths, repeatedly).
Tim leaves Young Justice over this. Bart stops being a hero altogether for a while.
And we never see Kon apologise.
Okay so yes he acknowledges to himself he is entirely at fault for this. He spends a whole issue agonising over what he’s done and yes, he resolves to apologise to Robin.
But he never does. He gets distracted by some fallout from the war and by Joker’s Last Laugh. Tim gets involved again in World Without Young Justice, when reality has been altered and none of them are who they should be.
And then after that, Tim, who is relieved that his identity has been revealed (something he wanted to do long ago) in a way that he couldn’t control or be blamed for, asks to rejoin the team.
And.
Kon and Cassie do this:
(I’m not blaming Snapper, Ray, or Slobo, none of whom were there when this went down even if Slobo does have the memories of it. They are just following Kon and Cassie’s cues.)
And Tim reacts like this:
Which is not the reaction of someone who has already received a heartfelt apology.
And yes, then they hug and welcome Tim back into the team. But I think Tim ends up fully internalising that his leadership (and his refusal to share his identity, like they have any right to it) is to blame for the whole debacle. And Kon lets him go on thinking that.
#the worst of it all is that Kon’s diversion to attempt to rescue Steel is completely unnecessary in the first place#Dark Racer was taking Steel to Apokalips to *resurrect* him not to damn him#and Kon had been whinging the entire time they were on these rescue missions#because he didn’t think saving lives was as important as fighting the bad guys directly#so Tim was feeling very short with him anyway#I have not found out who (if anyone) ended up rescuing the Suicide Squad when YJ didn’t turn up for them#also they were only just out of an argument about the Government Property Baby which is a whole other thing#but crucially Tim did concede that Kon was *right* about the baby and told Kon as much#before they were ever drafted into interplanetary rescue missions#Kon never gives Tim the same courtesy after Apokalips#neither do we see Kon apologise to *Bart* who was honestly the worst affected#(and yes I stand by Tim’s team has no right to his identity)#(I don’t need to know what my boss or colleagues get up to in their off hours to be able to trust them to do their jobs)#(yes if they want to be team-as-family they will need to have that level of trust but they need to wait for Tim to get there himself)#(in this case that would mean Tim deciding it’s worth defying both Batman and Nightwing which is something he doesn’t actually do lightly)#(and it shouldn’t affect them trusting Tim enough to lead them on missions)#this post brought to you by I’m fed up of people using this storyline as evidence that Kon and Tim love each other so so much#that’s really not what’s going on there#dc comics#tim drake#yj98#our worlds at war#young justice
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#working in a library is all cool and aesthetic and my dream job but fr the people are horrible#both libraries I have worked at had the worst team ever#everyone is hating and bitching#i left my old work because I cried like every second day and now at my new work one of my colleagues has a problem with me#I have an autoimmune disease and I'm staying more at home because of that than any other colleague#but like I'm disableded and they knew it when I started there#and now she is going crazy and all#and I worte a very passive aggressive text in the group chat about my disability and how people who read at work instead of working should#probably shut their mouth#now I'm shaking and feel sick because it was not I nice text I send and I'm scared of the follow up but i was so angry and can't any more#bullshit of her#like wth#sorry needed to vent#vent post#to delete
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Ever think about Date’s view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. He’s an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesn’t know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if there’s someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows it’s not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When he’s asked to take in Mizuki, he’s absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isn’t his place, he doesn’t have the right to love this child as his own because he isn’t the real dad. There’s no place for someone like him in a family. And it’s baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes he’s a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME
#aitsf#ai the somnium files#kaname date#mizuki date#just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new#also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing#cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child#and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol#honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi#like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare#versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before#then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about#also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever#and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole#and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it#i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have 😩
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Looking back at the "severe" social anxiety diagnosis I got as a teen ..
It's like, if I went to a therapist and said: "I do not like being stabbed with knives. I do activly avoid situations that involve me being stabbed with knives. When I have to face a situation where I can expect to be stabbed with knives, I dread it and can sometimes not bring myself to pull through, no matter how much I want to reap the benefit I am after, that requires the situation."
And the therapist went: "Oh, so you're irrationally afraid of people. Got it."
#this is about being trans mostly#have you considered that avoidance is the most normal response to hurtfull things#I am so mad about the medical gegligence and malpractice I had to endure throughout my life.#negligence#fuck#but then again; people like me along with out pain and sorrow are invisible and don't matter#transmasc#transandrophobia#fuck capitalism#nonbinary#non binary#genderqueer#people are always 'doctors are important' and shit but I have yet to meet one doctor that even isn't activly awful. The bar is on the#fucking ground#yet among the 20-30 Doctors I have met#none could clear it. there were like 2 who I didn't interact long enought with to determine anything#whe rest quickly proved themselves.#and trans issues is only the littelest part here. the outright treating me as a second class human and basically sa take the cake for worst#but the systemic apathy and not doing anything to help me#a child that has expressed urgent help needed#abusive teachers and family and not a single support person in my life and they ignored me#now I'm still stuck with my 'parents' (not that they ever did that job) who continue their abuse unchanged to this day but now I'm also#severly burnt out (untreated for years now)#and compleatly unable to do literally anything beyond some! hygene and getting food from the kitchen as needed. but yeah#i totally don't need help.#idek why I am writing this. just venting into a new void I guess. whatever. i'll die soon anyways. my body is telling me. the extended#isolation#and unhealthy lifestyle is gonna kill me and then noone will care either
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How much did the septum hurt? I kinda want one but I’m nervous lol
ALSO I will warn you- it DOES make your eyes water like crazy but that’s perfectly normal
#it was no worse than having my earlobes pierced if I had to compare it to another one#the worst one I ever had was the daith (which rejected 👍🏻) and this was no where near that pain#my piercer was a really nice lady! and she did her job well :} so she was quick n it didn’t hurt a lot#I can talk more about specifically what I had done if that’d ease your nerves a bit :}#anon#asks
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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I typed up an impassioned rant yesterday about some family bullshit that I'm in the middle of but by the time I was done I wasn't Yosemite Sam-levels of angry anymore, but just quietly frustrated and sad so I'll post the gist (bc I do still need attention and I think my mom is sick of talking to me)
my cousin's husband's mom had knee surgery on Thursday, but they also left for vacation on Thursday? I guess they thought she'd have inpatient rehab, but said cousin's husband would come home early if needed. well obviously she got discharged to home the next day and I started getting texts from my cousin about how much money flights back were. I told them all I couldn't be the "on-call" person for this but I guess they decided they could just disregard that and now cousin's husband is not coming home until next weekend and I am indeed the "on-call" person for this? which I know from my cousin's husband's mom asking me to do all this shit I said I couldn't do, as my cousin has stopped texting me and her husband NEVER ONCE texted me
#okay this was still a rant lmao but you should've seen the state of the one yesterday. i had smoke coming out of my ears#i just feel so disrespected it's unreal. like i guess i'll just go fuck myself then?#thankfully my other cousin (cousin's brother) is here and he got roped into the horseshit so he's helping me out but this is not our fuckin#job. we're not her children. strong case for having more than one kid tho as backup if your one is a fucking flop.#when i picked her up she was saying she didn't want to stress him out and that he should just enjoy his vacation. well i hope it's the wors#worst vacation he's ever had and he gets stung by a jellyfish and has diarrhea on the plane
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7/20/23
I got around to reading Dragon Ball and DBZ for the first time recently. Raditz, Nappa and Vegeta are my faves. I wish we saw more of them before they died.
#Raditz#Nappa#Vegeta#dbz#Not necessarily a 'I wish they were redeemed' thing#just like#these are space real estate agents selling entire planets to other races#all the while the 3 of them are at each others throats#while simulatanously having the worst job imagineable and being tormented endlessly by the rest of the freeza force#and despite hating eachother they were all each other had#The possibilities of what planets and people they saw or hardships they went through together is literally endless#And their experiences are unique to them#So I wish we saw more of them before they invaded earth#I'm also surprised Vegeta never thinks about or even mentions raditz or nappa after their deaths#I know he hated them but damn#dude did not spare a second of his time ever thinking of them or his past ever again😭😭😭#You may have reformed but I will never forget the atrocities you committed Vegeta#my art#2023#its so late gn
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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prentiss in demonology: people thought i was a bad influence when i was a teen
everyone in the BAU: you? reallly? that’s kind of surprising, i don’t see why they’d think that.
[a few seasons go by]
everyone in the BAU: ohhh yeah okay i see it now
#criminal minds#emily prentiss#criminal minds incorrect quotes#in s2/3 she was trying hard to fit in (which gideon even directly comments on)#so she was all polite and professional and Normal TM#then by s6 she’s revealed to be an international spy who runs away and faked her death#and by like s13 she’s deleting incriminating recordings to get spencer out of prison#but even between all that she’s like. sin to win weekend. super hungover before getting on the jet. constantly changing jobs and countries.#has never had a stable relationship. biggest trust issues you’ve ever seen. sarcastic and a dick (affectionate) to local PD and others.#flirting with suspects. says flirting with a possible murderer and generally sexist annoying guy is not her worst date.#lies to her compulsory therapist. gets a cat instead of attempting to have a stable relationship.#i love her but she’s MESSY. actually more like… i love her AND she’s messy. not in spite of the messiness yk
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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for the first time in my life i was just asked if i have kids instead of if i'm in college yet. the years start coming and they don't stop coming huh
#stooooop#i know i have been old enough to have kids for a while but 😵💫#im always behind on all the milestones in life tho but it never stood out before bc people always thought i was 17#literally from when i was 13 until very recently people always guessed i was like 16-19#which was great bc i am an autistic late bloomer who lives w my parents and sucks at being an adult#so giving off the vibe and appearance of being a teenager was fine#but now i look like an adult#🧍♀️🧍♀️🧍♀️#yet i am not good enough at being one for these questions and assumptions 😭#i hate it hereee#anyway weird old guy at the store started telling dumb blonde jokes then asked me if i had kids#never in my life have i been asked that#late twenties fr the worst age bc u still feel young but start getting treated old and also u don't have ur shit and life together yet#but everyone thinks you do or should by now#alas#irl i'm 27 what am i a child bride moment#not that having kids is for old people#but im not even good at being responsible for myself yet let alone an entire baby#i do want kids but im not ready for that yet#also never been in love 🫠#or even seriously dated anyone ever#not that it's a requirement#in fact im planning to adopt esp if i dont get married but still#anyway i do very much want kids im just not in that place yet#and didnt feel that behind in life about it bc nobody ever asked me that before#thsi better not be like how everyone asks you as soon as they meet u about ur job or school i dont need to be fielding this forever
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