#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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caimitos · 6 months ago
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 5 months ago
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Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice
#like I get that you're financially stressed but also it feels a bit rich to complain about it when you're on student allowance (not loan)#and your parents still contribute to things for you even though allowance is supposed to be for people whose parents can't afford to help#and you get multiple scholarships a year even though you're technically not eligible for half of them anymore but then as soon as the money#comes in from those you spend it all on a brand new dress for your sister's hen's do picnic because you can't wear the same dress as you#will for the actual hen's night or the wedding. Better buy a full price one at an expensive store instead of looking in a single op shop or#borrowing one from one of your three sisters who are all roughly the same size#god life must be so tough for you getting the same amount of money as the rest of us on student loan except you only have to pay back half#like the only money you have to live off is the same as what the rest of us get + scholarships (plural) plus what you earnt in your summer#internship? how could you possibly survive??#anyway I am NOT a fan of people who are like 'oh you say you have no money for rent but you have a phone?' because that's bullshit#and the whole 'millenials need to stop eating avocado toast so they can buy a house' thing is also bullshit#however. If you pay $60/week for a gym when you have access to the free uni one (or any other gym in the country is like $20)#and you buy uber eats multiple times a week for like $30+ each time despite having a premade meal in the fridge. and you get multiple#scholarships which mean you are arguably among the more well off students. AND you impulse buy things that cost over $100 regularly#then maybe the problem is not that you don't have enough money to split the rental costs of a washing machine (<$3 each/week)#maybe you are just bad with money#which is fine like it's not like it's unfixable it's just annoying when you act like you're worse off than people whose only money is what#they get from student loan each week so they eat beans on rice for dinner for a week#because that's all they could afford (yes I know people who did this. Yes she complained more than them)#so no I don't think I'm gonna be taking financial advice from you babes because one of us has entertained the idea of a budget to help with#finances and it's not you xx#(she turned down offers of financial help/advice/books to borrow from multiple people multiple times. I 100% get that you might not want to#talk to people about it especially your friends but we had multiple books on finances lying around the flat which she always said she didn't#need. And then she'd continue to complain that she didn't have enough money#god forbid you suggest something like going to a cheaper gym (or worse. The perfectly fine free uni gym!)#again. Her gym cost $60/week for most of last year until they brought in a student discount which was 'only' $45/week#the next most expensive gym chain I can find costs maybe $30/week for the highest membership level#to get what she was getting she would only need like a $20 membership#BUT to be fair she wouldn't get such strong culty vibes at any other gym#lol anyway sorry for the rant. I could keep going but apparently you can only have 30 tags and this is the last one
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space-ace-in-the-space-race · 2 months ago
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I’m gonna talk about Dead Boy Detectives for a second, specifically Charles and Edwin’s deaths.
Edwin died in a basement and Charles in an attic, and Edwin went to Hell and Charles was presumably meant to go to Heaven. Edwin died by fire (demons from Hell) and Charles died by ice (hypothermia). Edwin was targeted for his queerness and Charles for the color of his skin, the country his mother came from. Edwin never seemed to get along with the boys who would kill him but Charles called his murderers friends until they turned on him. Edwin died by supernatural means while Charles died by run of the mill racist teenagers. They died more than 7 decades apart.
When you look at the details there are so many differences but the story is still the exact fucking same. Two boys who died at the hands of a group of their classmates who decided that they did not fit with the rest of them and therefore must pay the price. Two boys who died on the same grounds of the same school, whose deaths were brushed aside and covered up by people who held the same titles. More than 70 years apart and not a single thing has changed, Charles’ death didn’t get any more attention than Edwin’s, because more than 70 years later the same fucking story happened again.
Edwin’s death didn’t change a damn thing, and it could happen again now because Charles’ death didn’t change a damn thing either. And then the ghosts of two 16 year olds decided that if the adults, if the living weren’t going to change anything then they fucking would. If the living would not grant them justice and would not grant them change, then they fucking would.
Because there was a difference, in the end. Edwin was murdered, and so was Charles, but while Edwin died scared and alone Charles didn’t. Edwin died in a cold, dark basement, but Charles died in warm light of a lantern, even if that warmth wasn’t enough to save him. Edwin died to the sounds of his own screams, his own voice pleading for mercy that would not come, but Charles drifted off to sleep to the sound of a kind boy reading him a book.
The living won’t change. The story could and will keep on repeating because the living will not make sure it doesn’t. The living are messy. But the dead, for all the ways they will never change, will never get any older, they can change the story, at least a bit. Charles and Edwin can’t make sure that no other boy dies at that school, but if the story repeats itself yet again they can make sure the victim is at peace. They can solve the murders and find the lost items and release the spirits who are trapped. The living won’t help the dead, but they can help each other.
So they call themselves the Dead Boy Detectives, form an agency and get an office and help who they can, because they didn’t matter to the living, and many of their clients don’t either. But they matter to the dead.
Their clients matter. And Charles and Edwin matter too.
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gommyworm · 1 year ago
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:^}
#nothing like talking to my mom to make me completely unravel and reconsider every one of my life choices 🫠#casual cry at work bc i dont know what to do with my life and i have no goals and i will never be well enough off to satisfy my mom looool#like i know shes scared bc we grew up super poor n she struggled to get where we are now massively but like#why do i need to make 200k to make her happy lol#like im making a decent salary at my full time job and i want to pursue more school so i can expand my horizons and look into diff careers#bc i find my job boring ! altho im very thankful for it !#but i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life !!!! id literally rather be dead than sit at a desk writing emails for 40 years !!!!!#i was talking to her about going back to my uni and making my minor into a major so i can get a secdon degree#since i already took the majority of the courses i can finish the second degree in 1 year ! i already planned out all the courses n stuff!#but shes like what do u want to do with that why are u wasting ur time doing things that wont put more money in ur pocket#im gonna be applying for my masters this year anyway so i was like might as well do something entertaining with the next year#get a degree out of it n all and then hopefully attend my masters program the next year ? like isnt that cool and impressive or whatever ?#its for my ego ! it makes me feel like im progressing rather than staying stagnant at my job i dont like !#but she just wants me to make more money lmao like i know moneys tight and its hard n everything#eugh#and shes like increasing the mortgage payments bc she qants to pay the house off asap but making our monthly bills cost more#so it always feels like were one step away from being in a hole we cant get ourselves out of#like why is my entire life focused on making money and supporting a famkly rn lmao im 25 and ive barely been able to live#i judt want to do soem things for myself ! make myself feel good about myself !!!#im sureounded by stem people with nice jobs and good degrees !! all these 22 year olds with masters under their belts and im stuck !!!!#boring and useless and havent lived up to any potential lol im so tired of my stupid inferiority complex i just want to feel like#an interesting and accomplished person like everyone expected me to be !!! especially myself !!!!#this fucking sucks#looking at law school applications again#might try to do an lsat in september or something ig#gommywords
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frannyzooey · 3 months ago
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Joel Miller x f!reader
Rating: E (age gap)
Summary: Best friends with younger one, you’ve known the Miller brothers since forever — you’ve wanted the older one for just as long.
a/n: it’s been a while! I’ve been writing over on Ao3, but thought I would pop in and say hi and happy summer ❤️ enjoy! —
Glancing at the clock on the wall, you wonder how much longer you need to stay before it’s appropriate to leave. 
You can’t even remember the name of the person who's talking at you – someone who said they took calc with you or something, back in high school. Brian, maybe? Ben? Picking at the label on the bottle in your hand, you tip the last swallow of warm beer into your mouth, grimacing at the taste. 
“Gimme a second,” you interrupt him. “I’ll be right back.”
Not a fuckin’ chance , you think to yourself. 
Navigating through the crowd of people packed into the Miller’s living room, you make your way towards the kitchen. Needing another beer to get through it all, you head straight for the fridge – only to see someone already there, their broad back facing you. When they straighten and shut the door, you reach out and pluck the beer from their hand.
“Thanks for the beer, Miller.”
Joel huffs, grabbing another one from the fridge. Turning to face you, he leans his hip against the counter. 
“You even old enough to drink?” Twisting the cap off, he takes a long, slow drink, his throat working with the motion. 
You roll your eyes, and his eyes drift down your body and back up again. 
Playing it cool, you clink your bottle against his. 
“Cheers, old man.”
His eyes narrow, and he waits a beat before tipping the bottle against his lips. 
His face has been a fixture in your life for as long as you’ve known Tommy –  a kid you met back in elementary school. Tommy was a few years older than you, Joel even older than him. The fact that you were younger never bothered Tommy –  you were just as daring as any boy his age, and he was more fun than any girl your own. A fixture by his side more often than not, you’d stuck together through middle school and then high school, through boyfriends and girlfriends, through Tommy’s enlistment after senior year. 
The entire time, Joel was there. 
In the beginning, you never paid him any attention. Busy working since he could, you barely saw him. The couple times you did see him at parties, it was only as Tommy’s ride, or showing up when Tommy got in trouble with his mouth. Like he never had any patience for parties or stuff like that; an aged man since forever. Even at their house, Joel had been…around, but he never stuck around for long. Always drifting away to go hang out in the garage, or in his room. 
It was during high school when you started looking at him differently. Started paying attention to him in a way you never did before. Starting noticing things like he never had a girl around –  or at least one that stuck , though you knew he knew his way around them, because you saw him in town sometimes. 
Walking out of a liquor store with a brown bag, a girl sitting in the passenger seat of his truck. 
Pulling open the door of the bar, his hand on the small of another girl’s back. 
Once, you saw him at the movie theater you worked at senior year. You still remember the heat that flooded your face when he strolled up to the ticket booth where you were standing, the broad smile he had on his face for his date, one that turned your insides warm. His arm was looped around her back, his hand resting on her ass with casual confidence. 
You’d never been so jealous of someone in your life. 
You left him behind (not that he ever knew it) when you went away to college. A visit back home after your first year timed with a visit home from Tommy,  Joel is right where you left him, still on the fringes. Only at the party to keep an eye on things, to make sure it doesn’t get out of hand, still keeping to himself. He’s been upstairs all night, only coming down every so often for another beer. 
The mystery of how he spent his time used to consume you back in your school-kid crush days…and it comes back full force, when he leaves you in the kitchen to go back up to his room. 
Leaving the noise of the party behind you, you climb the worn carpeted stairs. The second floor of their house is off limits to party guests, but you also know that doesn’t apply to you. Having been to this house more times than you can count, you know right where Joel’s bedroom is. You’ve never been in it though, which is part of the pull that drives you towards it – along with a slice of light that breaks through where he’s left the door cracked.
You nudge it open with your knuckle, to find him sitting inside. 
At a desk chair, his legs spread wide in his slouch. A beer rests in his hand, the other one holding a book and at your presence, he puts the book face down in his lap. 
He frowns. “Everything okay down there?”
“Yea. Just thought I’d come up and say hi. See what you’re doing.”
“Said hi in the kitchen,” he teases. He lifts the book with one hand. “And I was readin’.”
Used to his gruff sarcasm, you ignore it. “Any good?” 
His eyes follow you as you walk further into the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed. 
“Not really,” he answers. “Just waitin’ for everyone to leave.”
You know that’s not going to happen any time soon; another large group of people had walked in just as you made your way upstairs. 
A golden hue washes over everything, a single lamp burning on the desk, the colors of everything else dulled in the dim light. Shadows pool in the corners of the room, but he is lit, though only parts of him: the chestnut ends of his curls, his tanned skin, the stretch of his jeans across his thighs. The bed you sit on has a rumpled comforter, clearly having been slept in. 
Arousal pools low and heady between your hips. 
Has he ever brought another girl up here? Has he fucked anyone in this bed?
You imagine it briefly: his flushed cheeks, his heavy breathing, his muscles shifting under his skin. Your hand trembles, and you grip your beer tighter. 
“Already sick of bein’ downstairs?” he asks. 
You thumb at the condensation gathered on the bottle, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. “Yea. Sort of. It’s always a little awkward when you come back, you know?”
He shakes his head. “Not really. Never been anywhere but here.”
Your shoulders slump, and you let out a sigh. “Right. But you know what I mean.”
Suddenly, the weight of exhaustion pulls at you: the smiles you had to force downstairs, the names you tried to recall, the crush of people and the fake enthusiasm. You came here for Tommy, and you’ve barely seen him tonight. Forgetting for a second that you’re not in Tommy’s bedroom, you relax and let yourself fall backwards on Joel’s bed. The second you do it, you freeze – but don’t correct it. 
You’re in Joel Miller’s bed. Lying down. 
You feel the hem of your shirt ride up, but don’t fix it. The sheets smell like him, and you hear him huff. 
You also feel the weight of his eyes on you. 
He should be more annoyed that you’re in his bedroom, but he can’t take his eyes off your legs: a mile long in your cutoffs, the slight peek at the curve of your ass in their ride high. The slice of soft skin he can see, between your waistband and your shirt. 
He watches you roll over and prop your head up on your hand, not liking at all how good you look in his bed. 
He’s been watching you since you came back. Watched you even before that, though he’d never admit it. Walking around their backyard in a tiny bikini when you lounge with Tommy by the pool, looking gorgeous as hell all windblown and carefree sitting in the passenger seat of Tommy’s truck, looking so fucking innocent and beautiful swamped in one of Tommy’s sweaters by the bonfires he’s been having at night since he came back.  
The sight of your ass in those shorts as you walk around their house has been imprinted on his mind all week. 
He sits up, clearing his throat. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he lets his head hang down between his shoulders. If he can avoid looking at you, maybe his cock will stop hardening with interest. 
“I think you better get back downstairs.”
“I just wanna catch up,” you reply innocently, looking anything but. 
He looks up, giving you a knowing look in reprimand. “That ain’t all you wanna do.”
He doesn’t know what compelled him to say that to you , but he does know it to be true. He’s seen the look on your face on plenty of women before – women . You’re a girl . One he’s known since forever. One he never thought about until he did, and one he tried not to think about once he started. 
One who is way too fucking young for the things he’s thought about doing to you. 
“No?” you ask. “Why don’t you tell me what you think I wanna do?”
He shakes his head instead. 
The edges of your mouth curl up in a soft, teasing smile. “Joel Miller, a secret prude.” 
His head snaps up, “I ain’t no prude, honey, you’re just –”
“Honey?” Your eyebrows lift, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m just what?”
“ Young. Too young.”
“I’m twenty.”
He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes and you cave. 
“Almost. In a few months.”
He huffs in disgust, dropping his head back down. “Jesus Christ. A baby.”
He feels you study him for a moment. 
“I missed you while I was gone, you know.”
The confession surprises him, and he looks up to find your face completely sober, truthful. 
“Did you miss me?” you ask quietly. 
The vulnerability on your face pulls at him, and even though he knows what will happen if he gets on that bed, he wants to. If only to tuck you against his chest and reassure you that he did. He really did. He knows you think he never noticed you, but that’s only because he made you feel that way. He couldn’t notice you, for both your sakes. 
“Just come…sit with me, okay?” you ask. “I’m not gonna bite.”
He doesn’t move for a moment, keeping his eyes on the floor. He feels you wait with bated breath, knowing full well that he should stand up and walk you out of his bedroom…but he can’t bring himself to leave you hanging like that. 
Instead, he stands, and walks over to the bed. 
Your face flashes with surprise that you try to hide, and he smirks. 
There is a look on your face he’s seen a million times — a bolstering sort of lift to your chin, the look of a tough girl that would follow his brother anywhere. A girl who never backed down, even when he could tell she was nervous. 
A girl he knows he shouldn’t want, but does anyway. 
He tests the waters, crawling onto his bed. Stretching out next to you, he sprawls across the mattress, his broad form partially covering yours in shadow.  He can feel the heat gather between your bodies. You look even younger close up, and he leans closer, unable to stop himself from pushing to see how far you’ll go.
He recognizes that same determined look on your face now, only this one is slightly different. This one is laced with lust, and want. So much fucking want it makes him ache. 
“Okay, big girl,” he drawls. “Now what?”
It’s his turn to be surprised when you lean in and press your mouth to his. 
You can tell because he momentarily freezes when your lips meet, his stubble brushing against your skin, your lips fitting neatly along the seam of his own.  You kiss him again, this time opening your mouth just enough to let him in and he takes your invitation, the taste of beer thick on his tongue when he slides it against yours. His hand comes up, cradling the curve of your jaw as you tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss and a soft sound that catches in the back of your throat has his fingers flexing, pulling you closer. 
The sheets rustle beneath you when he takes over, his hold guiding you beneath him on the bed. He kisses you harder, longer, a deep groan rumbling from his chest, the light of the room blocked out behind him. His solid body weighs heavy on top of you, his denim clad hips pushing between your thighs with a grind and you open your legs wider, his hand sliding up the outside of your leg to hitch your knee around his hip. 
It’s sensory overload after wanting him for so long. You’ve daydreamed about this a million times, imagined it happening a million different ways, but you never thought it would be anything like this. Lost in the weighted haze of lust, drunk on the way he feels against you, head swimming with arousal, the crotch of your panties already so fucking wet that they slide over your achingly empty core with every rock of his hips into yours. Meeting the rolling grind of his hips with your own, you feel the weight of his cock press against you, his calloused hand covering your breast with a squeeze. His hips rock forward again, the grinding promise of what he’s capable of against the damp seam of your shorts and you are just about to beg him for more when he pulls back, standing. 
In one long stride, he shoves the door shut and locks it. 
Tugging his shirt off with a one handed grip over his head, you take in the sight of his broad, solid chest and the dusting of hair that scatters sparsely just under his collarbones. It’s thicker along his sternum, even thicker still just under his navel, where it leads into the waistband of his jeans. He looks so…big, from where you lay on the bed. Older, masculine in a way you’ve never seen on a boy your age. Your eyes run the length of his body and back up again, the outline of his thick cock pushing against the fly of his jeans making your cunt flutter. 
He opens the drawer next to his bed, tossing a condom down and there is something so arousing about the matter of fact action, the implied sight of it just sitting there, waiting for him. Black, with gold letters. When his hands drop to work open his belt buckle with single minded intent, you reach down to slide your shorts off. 
“Don’t.”
Your hands pause. 
“I wanna do that.”
You don’t even know what to say in response before he’s bending to grab you behind your knees, hauling you to the edge of the bed. Your shirt rides up your back, and sit up enough to tear it over your head, your bra following shortly after as his greedy eyes track every movement. His thick fingers pop open the button on your shorts, hooking under the fabric and he drags them down and off, bringing your panties along with them.  
Then he stands there, his hands on your knees. He pushes them apart, and you try not to squirm as he spreads you for him. 
“Goddamn.” The word pours out of his mouth, saturated with awe, low with lust. 
Your thighs flinch, your knees trying to pull together to hide yourself from the heat of his gaze, but he keeps a firm grasp on them, holding you open. 
“Don’t try to hide it from me now, honey.”
His eyes drop from your face to the gleaming spread of your cunt. He reaches down, his thumb brushing over your opening, and it’s so fucking filthy the way he drags it through the mess you’ve made for him. 
“Especially not when it’s this pretty,” he murmurs. 
He drops to his knees, your breath hitching when he tugs you closer to his mouth and guiding your legs over his bare shoulders, his mouth immediately seeks you out. 
“ Fuck .” 
The word slides into a moan when your body bows off the bed to chase the slick heat of his tongue. It smears wetness over everything, dipping inside you to drag upwards to your clit and then he’s fitting the bottom half of his face along your cunt with a messy, open mouthed kiss. 
He devours you there the same way he devoured your mouth earlier, and the sensation is simultaneously  too much but not enough, your hands finding purchase in his sheets. You fist them, twisting them in your grip as you start to rock your hips and you have never - never - had this done to you before, a tremble pouring sweet and thick down your spine to pool right under his mouth. 
His hands keep your thighs forced open, his shoulders spreading you wider and when his tongue starts to swirl firm, tight circles over your clit, it drags a hoarse moan out of your throat. 
Too consumed to care if you’re being too loud, every thought leaves your head when two thick fingers stroke delicately along  the dip of your opening, before sliding inside you with a filling stretch just as he starts to suck . His whiskered cheeks hollow with it, your words breathless and pleading. A stretch just to take his fingers , you close your eyes and feel your stomach drop when you think about taking his cock.
The thought alone sends you flying over the edge. 
When it happens, he groans into you just as loud as if he’s the one who’s come, and a second wave washes hot over your limbs when you peek down to see the upper half of his face between your spread thighs. His brows pinched together, his eyes closed tight, his white knuckled hold on your thighs. 
The music turns up louder downstairs, a shout of a crowd greeting new arrivals – but it’s lost in the intimacy of the bedroom. His satisfied low groans, your trembling thighs, his damp beard against your skin.  
Pulling back, he wipes your slick from his face with his hand – and then gives your cunt a sharp, flat swat. 
The action shocks you, your eyes widening and the grin on his face is charmingly boyish. Or would be, if he didn’t follow it with a filthy suck of the fingers that were just inside you. He stands, shucking his jeans and briefs off in one movement, and puts a knee on the bed between your legs, reaching for the condom. His large hands rip it open, and though you can feel his gaze rest heavily on you as he puts it on, your eyes are fixed firmly on his cock. 
It’s – big. Much bigger than you’ve ever seen, a grown man’s dick. He fists it lazily for a moment, the weight of it evident in his grip and when he places the condom over the tip and rolls it down to the base, you openly stare. The translucent rubber fits snug and tight, down to the thatch of hair at the base of his cock. 
When you finally drag your eyes up to his face, he looks smug. 
“Don’t worry, darlin’. It’ll fit.”
The amount of times you’ve thought about this moment is nothing compared to the real thing. The man standing in front of you has always been off limits, a complete mystery to you all these years, even as the subject of most of your debased fantasies. The realness of him — the solid width of his frame, the flush to his skin, the amount of bare, firm skin on display. You swallow hard, a bundle of nervous anticipation even though he just fucked you with his mouth. 
He settles his body on top of you, caging you underneath him and the press of his hot skin has all of your nerves scattering, evaporating into need . 
His mouth rests right next to your ear, a kiss brushed against the divot below it. 
“We’ll make it,” he whispers. 
If you thought his fingers were a snug fit, it’s nothingcompared to how full you feel as he slides in. The stretch almost to the point of pain save for how wet he got you beforehand, it still steals the air from your lungs as he pushes inside. You squirm underneath him, shifting to accommodate every single inch and his hand curls around your waist, his hips pushing forward with a final, hard thrust. 
His mouth brushes tenderly along your clenched jaw, letting you get used to it before his hips find a rolling rhythm. Every downstroke shoving you up underneath his hold, you hold on tight, hitching your knees up along his ribs and your feet slide over his tailbone, a whine crawling out of your outstretched throat. 
“This little pussy is so tight ,” he groans, his hot breath gusting over your skin. “So fucking tight.”
His hand shoves itself under your tailbone, angling your hips to take him deeper and his own groan sounds deep over your softer, higher one. 
“Do you have any idea how much I thought about fuckin’ you? How many different ways I’ve wanted to?”
Hearing him utter those words makes your chest crack open, your heart thundering underneath your rib cage. Everything you’ve ever wanted to hear, paired with more than you ever thought you would. 
He picks up pace, his hips a relentless, heavy pound into the cradle of your own, each thrust punching the air out of you – and your fingers claw into his forearms when he sits back on his heels, pushing your knees to your chest to fuck you harder. 
The bed pounds lewdly against the wall, the music from the party covering it up. 
“Joel,” you whine, a tear slipping from the corner of your eye. It feels like you’re being used by him, your body a tool for his own pleasure, your pliant, moldable body being positioned just for his use. It sends you higher, thinking about him doing the same for others, right here in this bed. 
You start to tense underneath him, the wave of slick, brutal pleasure pulling you under and when you come, it’s a wordless, breathless thing – your body pulling taut, your cunt squeezing him tight. He groans, dropping forward to cover your mouth with his, his hand sliding up to wrap around the nape of your neck with a grip and he forces himself deeper, his strokes urgent in their snap against you. 
He rests his forehead against yours, and through the haze of your freshly fucked gaze, he recognizes the same look from before. A girl who never backs down, a girl who knows how to hold her own. 
“I already want it again, Joel,” you breathe against his mouth, his heavy pants washing over your lips. “Next time, I’m gonna ride you. I’m gonna sit on your lap and you can watch me take it, okay?”
“Fuck,” he groans, his hips stuttering. They chase the slick warmth of your cunt, his eyes closing tight. 
“You’re fuckin’ trouble, you know that?” he rasps, his fingers threading into the hair at your nape, fisting it with a tug. The motion tips your head back for him, a victorious grin stretching across your face. 
“A pain in my ass since I met you,” he pants, letting out a deep groan. “A sweet piece of ass in my bed.”
You nod, the smile on your face melting into something pleasure soaked when he shifts the angle of his hips. 
“I’m gonna come inside this little cunt, okay? And then I’m gonna do it all over again. You ready, honey?”
“God yes.”
He buries his face in the damp crook of your neck when he comes, he back rounding as his hips still in their push against yours. He’s so deep you know you’re going to feel it tomorrow – more than you’ve ever taken, a stretch you know will make you ache every time you sit down. He holds onto you so tight that you can barely breathe, and it’s a special sort of heaven to be buried underneath the bulk of his body. Your cheek pressed against his curls, your chest compressed under his. Your hips sore from being spread so wide, your cunt still snug around him. 
He lifts just enough to see you, and opens his mouth – right when something crashes beneath his room. 
“What the fuck , Tommy,” he grumbles, and you laugh at his instant change of expression. He slips out from inside you with a groan, his hips imperceptibly shifting forward to chase the heat between your thighs. He presses a quick, hard kiss against your lips and then he’s dragging himself from the bed, tugging the condom off and tying it in a neat knot. 
Tossing it in the trash next to his bed, he grabs his jeans off the floor. 
“I’m gonna go downstairs and see what the hell that was,” he says, sliding them up over his bare ass. Buttoning them, he shoots you a look. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ get dressed.”
You gesture a wordless salute, and he shakes his head, smiling. 
“Smartass,” he grumbles, picking a shirt up off the floor. Sliding it over his head, he opens the door and disappears. 
“Tommy!” 
You hear him shout and a laugh bubbles up from your chest. 
“What the fuck was that?”
Stretching out, you slide against the warm, rumpled sheets and listen to the familiar sound of their deep voices. For the first time since you’ve been back, you feel like you’re home. 
Pressing your face into his pillow, you take a deep breath – and grin. 
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holybibly · 3 months ago
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The unholy hour of the day, my sugar bunnies: Weirdo nerd Seonghwa has had a fondness for you for a long time, perhaps too much to be normal. So when he sees you on a crowded subway carriage, he takes the opportunity to pay his respects to you.
Warnings: Pervert nerd! Seonghwa, sub!reader, non-consensual groping, dubious consent, obsessive crush, light yandere, forced masturbation, light dub con
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'Please be careful; the doors are closing'. The monotonous, mechanical voice of the underground's automated announcement system echoes through the carriage, almost completely lost in the noise of the crowd. The tube is packed, but at this time of day, that's to be expected. You hated taking the train at rush hour, but unfortunately your classes always ended at that time, and you had no choice but to use the Tube to get home, even though it felt like hell at that time, rather than a comfortable and fast ride. 
You always travelled the same way. Day after day, month after month, and in all this time nothing has changed about your trip. Firstly, the subway was always crowded, and having lived in Seoul for the last two years, you'd already gotten used to that. Secondly, there are never any seats when you get on, so you always have to stand. You even somehow managed to put up with the fact that you were always being pushed or squeezed into a corner, which you managed to squeeze into despite the carriage being almost full.
Today was no different at all. You let out a heavy sigh and made your way to the nearest available handrail in the far corner as you were pushed for what seemed like the hundredth time when the carriage doors hissed open and a new stream of passengers poured in. You grabbed hold of the cold metal handrail, trying to take up as little space as possible, while other passengers squeezed past you or kept changing their position in an attempt to get the most convenient and comfortable seat. Someone's elbow is resting on your rib, and you frown, trying to move as far away as possible, which only makes you squeeze harder into the corner. But there's not enough room, and you shriek slightly as the pressure on your ribs increases. The girl next to you bows her head, apologising as she hears this, and moves away from you, finally allowing you to breathe normally. You let out another sigh, clutching your bag tightly to your chest and gripping the handrail even tighter as the train continues to rush forward.
Just a little longer, you say to yourself, eight more stops to go and you'll finally be able to get out of here. 
Once again you hear the mechanical hissing of the doors and the automated voice warning the passengers to be more careful, and it seems to you that the carriage has become even more cramped, but it still does not prevent you from trying to adapt in some way. Dozens of people get on and off at each stop, and you're pushed again, but this time relatively gently. It doesn't matter anyway, you're used to it and ready to just brush it off, but someone's broad, cold hand rests on your bare thigh, just where the edge of your pleated skirt ends. For a second, you feel the stranger's fingers slide over your soft skin under your short skirt, and your breath catches in your throat, your heart beginning to beat faster with each passing moment. This can't be happening, can it? Maybe you're just imagining it? The stranger's cold touch on your thighs fades away as suddenly as it came, but it's enough to make you feel the cold lingering on your skin for a long time afterwards.
"You're so beautiful." A soft, velvety voice whispers from behind you, and you almost jump at the sound. 'So beautiful…' The carriage you're in is packed to the point that you can barely turn your head back to look at whoever that voice belongs to, which one makes goosebumps crawl across your skin. Your eyes widen as you see behind you none other than university oddish nerd Park Seonghwa, who is literally trapping you in a crowded subway car. He's too close to you. Close enough to be intimate. 
Not that you had a bad opinion of Seonghwa; no, he was a relatively nice and harmless guy, but there was still something about him that made people stay away from him. Maybe it was the too intense and focused look in his dark cat eyes, or maybe it was his slightly odd behaviour that was hard to explain; either way, Park Seonghwa was not popular, even though he was pretty, and not just pretty, but really handsome, as if sculpted by the hand of a great master. Another thing that put people off him was that he was a real nerd and had an obsession with Lego and Animal Crossing. You didn't see much of him in your classes, even though you were in the same study group as him; from what you heard, he was in an advanced class and was more likely to jerk off to textbooks than girls. In general, you didn't know much about him other than the gossip you heard from your friends. 
''S-Seonghwa, let me go, please…'' Your voice trembles slightly as you turn to him. There is a strange expression frozen on his handsome face, one that you are unable to decipher. He looks drunk—his big eyes are blurry and unfocused, his mouth is open from heavy breathing, his cheeks are flushed, and there is a bead of sweat on his forehead. There is obviously something wrong with him, but Seonghwa is a good guy, isn't he? He wouldn't do anything to hurt you, or at least you wanted to believe that. 
You don't hear him answer as the train makes a sharp turn and Seonghwa pushes you against the wall of the carriage, his body pressed tightly against yours. You freeze, like a mouse caught in the claws of a cat, as you feel his cold hands squeeze your soft, plump thighs, right under your buttocks. You tug at the hem of your skirt in an attempt to push Seonghwa's hands away from you, but he doesn't let you go; instead, his fingers dig harder into your flesh even more, and you're sure you'll be bruised afterwards. You feel the fast, erratic beating of his heart against your back as he leans into you, as if he's trying to melt into you, to become one with your body.
"I'm sorry…' He whispers to you again, his hot breath brushing your ear and his sensual, full lips touching your soft, thin skin with each letter. You've always admired his lips—so full and kissable—and you've even wondered what they would feel like when he kissed you, but right now you wish you could erase that touch from your skin forever. Something hard and intimidatingly large presses against your lower back as he grips your hips tighter, literally piling on top of you. The sickly sweet smell of strawberries and cream invades all of your senses, and you find yourself trapped between the dirty wall of the subway car and the hard, hot body of Seonghwa. You've never noticed how tall he is compared to you—you're invisible behind him; nobody can see what he's doing to you. "I'm so sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it… You're too beautiful… too beautiful for me to control myself. I'm so sorry…' He lowers his head onto your shoulder, his long black hair tickling the skin on your neck as you stare unblinkingly into the dirty wall, terror running through you to the bone, rendering you completely immobile as Seonghwa pushes his hips into you, fucking your arse on the crowded train like a dog in heat.
Your lips begin to tremble, hot tears gathering in your eyes, threatening to spill out and run down your cheeks, smearing your make-up, as Seonghwa's one hand slides up the curve of your hip and higher up your waist, your ribs, over the thin lace of your bra to cradle your right tit. 
'Oh fuck...' Seonghwa hisses as he squeezes the soft flesh of your breast in the palm of his hand. His fingers pull the cup of your bra down so that your tit is completely exposed. "Exactly as I thought... your tits are so big and soft. I want to fuck them so badly. I want to come on your tits; cover them with my sperm. I want to suck on your fucking tits while you are riding on me, angel." He continues to rub his cock against your plump buttocks, whimpering into your skin. 
'N-no, please don't, Seonghwa. Please stop it...' You sob, hoping that your pathetic pleas will bring him to his senses. But it seems to have the exact opposite effect, making him even more aroused. You tremble at his touch as Seonghwa continues fucking you, his rough hand caressing your naked breasts, his hard cock sliding between your buttocks through his jeans and skirt. 
"Please move away from the doors." The train stops, the mechanical hiss of the doors hissing through the crowd. You pray that Hwa will let you go, but he doesn't. For a moment, he stops pushing into you and keeps you pressed up against the wall. His breath is unpleasantly warm against your ear, making you shiver.
'Seonghwa...' You try once more. "Seonghwa, please let me go. I won't tell anyone... I promise. Please leave me alone..." The tears begin to flow freely down your face as you continue to beg him to let you go. But Seonghwa is completely unresponsive; instead, he starts to leave wet, smeared kisses on your neck. His lips are soft, too soft, like down pillows, unpleasantly slippery and wet from copious amounts of saliva mixed with lip balm as cloying strawberry as he is. From the outside, you probably look like a couple deeply in love. Seonghwa is protective, wrapped around you like a snake, and to everyone else, he looks like a caring guy. If only they knew...
The thought of screaming crosses your mind, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared when the train starts moving again and Hwa slips his other hand under your shirt and wraps it around your left breast. His hand greedily squeezes the soft flesh over the thin lace of your bra before he pulls it down as well, exposing your tits to the full extent. You hate yourself for the fact that his touch is causing your nipples to begin to tense and your pussy to clench around nothing. You've always been hypersensitive, and that's generally nothing unusual, but this situation...
You shouldn't react like this; you don't want Seonghwa to touch you; you don't want to feel his hands on your body, but then why are you biting your lip and trying your best to suppress the obscene sounds that are coming out of your mouth right now? 
"That's it, Angel. I'll make you feel good. I'll be worshipping you, pretty girl, the way I've always wanted to be. And you can't blame me for that; you've got everything to blame yourself for. You're too beautiful, too beautiful for me to let you go..." Seonghwa's hands, gently rocking your breasts as if he could feel the weight of them, his fingers running over your aureoles, stimulating you while avoiding your swollen nipples.
You sob loudly as you feel your pussy getting wetter by the second. You don't want to give in to the pleasure that is growing deep inside you, especially not in the presence of so many people and even less so in Seonghwa's hands, but there is nothing you can do about it. He gives you a sharp pinch on your nipples as the mechanical voice announces the name of the next stop, and it covers up the moan that escapes from your lips. 
"You feel so good, angel." He whispers to you in a velvety voice.  "Your little nipples are so hard and tender. I want to take them into my mouth and suck them until you come. I'm sure I can make you come just from that." Seonghwa's voice is full of dark promise, and it makes more and more moisture pour out of your hole. Shame washes over you like a wave, and you cover your eyes, trying to come to terms with the unwanted pleasure that is growing inside of you. You clench your hands tighter around your bag as Hwa continues to play with your breasts. Squeezing and massages them, rubbing and pinching your nipples, at the same time leaving hot, painful hickeys on your neck. "You were made for me, my angel. I always knew it. I knew it the moment I saw you." One of his hands releases your breasts and slides down your body. Your eyes go wide in horror as you realise where Seonghwa's hand is going, but it's too late because... He slides his hand easily between your thighs, wrapping your pussy, over the lace of the thong, whose fabric is soaked with your slime. 
"Look at you; you're all wet for me."
'I-I'm not, please, just stop...' For the first time since Seonghwa cornered you, you try to resist him. Your hand trembles as you try to pull his hand off your cunt, but Hwa just pushes it away. Then you start to wriggle in his grip, trying to push him away from you, but it doesn't help. Seonghwa is bigger and stronger than you, and all your movements instead make you rub your wet pussy harder against his palm between your thighs.
"Don't be embarrassed about it, angel. You just have to admit that you want it just as much as I do."
The train stops again, and Seonghwa takes the opportunity to pull the wet lace of your thong aside, exposing your smooth, plump pussy to his touch. You can't hold back a moan as his fingers outline a figure of eight around your clit. 
"Please... Seonghwa... you don't have to do this." You sob, lowering your head to somehow hide the way your cheeks are flushed from everything he's doing to you. 
'But how can I, angel? You're so ready for me...' He pulls his hand away from your pussy for a second and brings them up to your face. You watch in horror as he spreads his fingers, pulling strands of your arousal between them before they break apart, coating his long appendages with your stickiness. "You see that? Your slutty pussy is all wet and sticky; how can I ignore it?" You barely manage to hold back a loud moan as Seonghwa slides his hand down and, without any preamble, pushes two fingers into your wet cunt. The stretching stings, but with it comes pleasure. It's clouds your mind and overshadows any sense of decency or shame. Seonghwa begins to fuck you, twisting his fingers inside you and stroking your slippery, trembling walls with slightly calloused fingertips. Over the din of the other passengers' voices, you can almost hear the squelching of your unacceptably wet pussy.
"You are so tight, my angel. I should stretch your cunt before you take my cock. I'll do my best; we don't want your sweet pussy to be in pain, do we?" With these words, Seonghwa inserts another finger into you.
Everything in you shrinks in shame as the pleasure becomes too much to ignore—your legs spread so Hwa can fuck you harder and deeper, his finger pads pressed against your sweet spot, and your eyes roll back at the sharp pleasure coursing through your body.
It's disgusting, no, it's more than disgusting, and deep inside you despise yourself for giving yourself up to him so easily, for not putting up any resistance at all to Seonghwa, for letting him fuck you so expertly with his long fingers. 
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silliest-donkey · 4 months ago
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“You’d be easier on my mind if you actually wore some damn pants”
You looked up from your phone. The voice you had heard almost startled you. You were casually laid back on your bed - which was the second bed of the room. On the first one, Ellie Williams, some nerdy chick you had met at college, was laying down on her stomach. She had offered you the chance of being roommates on day one. Even though, only a week after moving in, it already started feeling more like a curse than a great deal. You knew choosing to live under the same roof as someone you had just met was beyond reckless - but you had no other choice at the time.
"Excuse me?" you scoffed.
"You heard me."
You chuckled weakly, still struggling to process her comment. "I'm wearing shorts," you attempted to justify yourself, a hint of sarcasm lacing your words.
Ellie's response was immediate and defiant. "Still, it's not enough coverage," she retorted.
You let out an exasperated sigh, unable to believe that she was making such a big deal out of something so trivial.
"Ugh, seriously? We're both girls, plus, you're not my mom." you protested, trying to inject some logic into the conversation.
However, Ellie was having none of it. Her sharp retort cut through the air with a fierce determination. "It doesn't matter," she countered, unyielding in her stance.
You shook your head in disbelief, feeling a mix of amusement and irritation at Ellie's stubbornness.
You noticed your roomate's gaze lingering on your thighs, her brows furrowing slightly. A subtle flicker of nervousness crossed her face, as if she was trying to restrain herself from fixating on your legs. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lower lip, betraying her inner turmoil.
“You could just be wearing sweatpants or something..." your roommate pleaded.
You couldn't believe how worked up Ellie was getting about some simple pyjama shorts. Her desperate attempts to prove her point were almost comical. It sounded like she had lived in someone's basement for the last nineteen years of her life.
"Come on, Ellie," you retorted. "It's not the middle ages anymore. I'm not going to wear sweatpants just because you can't handle a bit of exposed skin."
“No, I just don’t want to be constantly looking at your thighs!” she exclaimed, clearly getting annoyed.
The stubborn girl's sudden outburst took you by surprise. A smirk tugged at the corners of your lips as you realized the implication of her words.
"So it's a problem that you can't keep your eyes off my thighs, huh?" you teased, unable to resist the opportunity to rile her up even more.
Ellie's face flushed a deep shade of crimson, realizing she had inadvertently revealed more than she intended.
"What? No, that's not... I didn't say that.." she stuttered, her eyes darting away from your smug expression.
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You had stopped paying attention to her the moment she started stumbling over her own words. Now with your headphones on, you blissfully ignored Ellie's stares as you watched a show on your phone. Or, at least, Ellie thought so.
She laid back on her bed, frustrated, resting a tattoed arm over her forehead.
A heavy exhale exited her lips, as she flipped her body onto her stomach, the stirring sounds of her covers disturbing the silence. She was trying her best to hide how much the simple sight of you was affecting her.
Ellie grabbed a pillow and pressed it around her head, doing whatever she could to avoid looking at you. But it was so hard to do so when the very thing she was trying to ignore was right in front of her. She eventually gave up and let her eyes travel over your curves.
Her gaze took in everything, as she finally allowed herself to stare at her heart's content.
Ellie's passionate visual study of your features started at your shoulders, before slowly wandering down your body, taking in every piece of skin that wasn't hidden by clothing. As the poor girl tried her best to push away the sensations of arousal, she found it increasingly difficult to ignore the growing heat and tension within her. Every glance she allowed herself to take seemed to fan the flames of her desire, and she could feel her inhibitions slipping away from her control with each passing moment. Despite her efforts to remain composed, her body betrayed her as her heart raced and her breath grew shallow, signaling that she was losing the battle against her own ache.
Before she could realize it, Ellie's thighs were humping the sheets of her bed. Her lips, slightly parted in adoration, occasionally let out soft gasps. She felt like she was melting into a puddle, so needy, only from looking at your thighs. The dry humping did nothing to soothe the feeling, if anything, it intensified the tingling sensation she was subjected to.
Ellie bit her lip so hard it almost started bleeding, her jerky fingers gripping the bedsheets in a pathetic attempt to keep herself from doing anything she would regret. However, the longer she just laid there and stared, the more she felt the last shreds of her dignity and self-respect fade away into nothingness.
She slowly pulled the covers of her bed over her shoulders, her hands sliding under her clothes. Her thumbs lowered dangerously over her shivering skin, from her breasts, down to over her stomach until she felt her clit.
Ellie sneaked a shy finger into her underwear. Just one. A small, nearly inaudible moan escaped her twitching lips as she felt the fleshy folds of skin on either side of her vagina throb.
Your roomate thanked god you were wearing headphones. You were only meters away, and she was pleasuring herself at the half-naked sight of your thighs alone. It felt so humiliating, and downright outrageous, but she loved the thrill.
Her index was now coated in her natural lube, desperately pressing and stroking her swollen button. It was a losing battle, Ellie's mind, clouded by pictures of you and only you, was slowly turning to mush. Hell, you were offering her such a perfect combination of charms that it felt like it was altering her own brain chemistry. She kept her forehead against the bed, her moans muffling into the covers as she was already reaching climax. She couldn't look at you anymore now that she had committed to her urges so pathetically. She probably wouldn't even be able to look at herself in the mirror for a few days, now that she thought about it.
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Ellie remained for a few moments in the same position, struggling to catch her breath. She didn't even notice before a long time that she was drooling all over her bed, her mind stuck on the sight of your perfect, supple thighs, looping, replaying, repeating in her pretty little dozed off head every single one of the witty comebacks you had given her earlier, which had made your lips move so attractively. After panting onto her bedsheets for what felt like hours, she finally got a grip of herself, and raised up from her bed. Her knees wobbly, she cleaned up while you were still laying down with your headphones, visibly fixated on whatever you were watching on your screen.
Forgetting about this was not negotiable with her brain. From now on, she would probably get wet only by seeing the tiniest bit of your exposed flesh. And, she wasn't going to make anymore rude comments anytime soon. How could she blame you for anything when she was the creep? When she was the one who got sickly obsessed with you to the point you were a constant turn-on for her?
The thought alone of anyone else getting to see you like this made her want to punch the goddamn wall. Ellie was well aware of how toxic this was, that you did not owe her anything and did not deserve her to be bossy with you. However, the more she tried to calm herself down, the more conflicted she was getting. She found herself crouched down on the bathroom floor, burying her heavily blushing face into her arms.
Your roommate had realized too late how much of a hold you had on her.
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[masterlist]
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certified-bi · 7 months ago
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Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.
1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...
2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.
Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.
3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.
4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.
5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.
Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.
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reverie-starlight · 6 months ago
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{the proposal- kuroo}
on today’s episode of “rev accidentally disregards the polls she made”, we have this fic :3 I actually adore this one, it was so fun to write!! hope you enjoy <3 also… thank you sm for 1k followers 😭🫶🏻 that’s huge, I appreciate everyone sm 🥹
gn!reader, no physical descriptions. fluff fluff fluff. alcohol mentions, drunk reader. dialogue heavy at the start.
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“You need to propose to me.”
Kuroo, who is enjoying his drink, begins to choke. “I what?”
You roll your eyes with a barely concealed smile.
“Not for real, silly, just a fake one.”
He looks at you like you’ve gone insane. “I’m not following.”
“We’re broke university students, do you really think we can afford to pay for more than two drinks tonight? If you propose, I bet people would make a drunken mistake and offer to buy us a celebration round.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him as he continues to give you that same incredulous look.
“That’s-“ he cuts himself off before he can finish that thought and starts with a new one. “I doubt that would work. I mean, maybe at a restaurant with free dessert, but a bar? Really?”
“I’ve seen it done in stranger places!” You defend yourself. “Besides, you’ve been sipping on your drink for the past 25 minutes. If the ice had poison in it, you’d be dead by now,” you lean back and cross your arms.
Your boyfriend just shakes his head. “Your mind is a very interesting place. Alright, fine. We’ll do it, but if it doesn’t work that’s going to be really embarrassing. Hand me your ring, I’ll do it when more people are around.”
You only have to wait another ten minutes before a group of business men having a meeting a couple of tables over appear to be drunk enough to invest in young love.
Your boyfriend nods once to signal that he’s going to do it and soon enough he’s on one knee, fake tears forming at the corners of his eyes and a dusting of pink on his cheeks that make you want to kiss them.
(Your heart jumps that the thought that he could do this for real one day).
“You’re the love of my life,” he begins, and you make a mental note that he either has a bright future in acting or his drink really is too strong, despite his insistence that he could handle it earlier.
A lady one table over gasps and draws more attention to the performance in front of the customers.
“And I absolutely adore every single thing about you. I had a whole plan for this, but with the way you’re looking tonight, I can’t wait a second longer. We’ve managed to get many years together already, and I’d be honoured to spend the rest of our lives just like this. Will you marry me?”
You’re genuinely touched at his words and the sincerity in his tone almost makes you forget it’s fake.
Not wanting to make your audience wait much longer, you make a big show of nodding your head and jumping into his crouched form with a loud “yes!”
Drunken cheers are only background noise while you press against his chest. His heartbeat eliminates the chance of you focusing on anything but him.
Kuroo tips his head down to whisper, “think we pulled it off?”
You nod against him and start to get up. He looks over to see one of the drunk business men coming over to greet you.
“Congratulations on your engagement! Let us buy the happy couple some drinks!”
The man’s face is flushed and he gestures to his table. “Order whatever you’d like, it’ll be put on our tab.”
You fake surprise. “Oh my goodness, that’s very generous of you, but we could never take advantage of your kindness like that!”
Beside you, your ‘fiancé’ stifles a laugh but the man doesn’t notice. “No, I insist! You should celebrate.”
This time Kuroo takes over. “Ah… well, thank you, sir. Rest assured we won’t go too crazy.”
The man laughs and claps him on the back. “What a polite couple of kids you are! Reminds me of me and my wife,” he winks before heading back to his table, whistling some tune.
You spin around and look up at your boyfriend with a smug grin. “So what are we getting first?”
A couple of hours later, you’re both stumbling into your campus apartment, giggling and trying to shush each other despite not having any other roommates.
You somehow manage to get through your night routines and fall back into your bed soon after. You’re a far more wasted than Kuroo is (he always drinks less than you to be able to take care of you), so he tries to get you to sip on some water.
He watches you with a silly grin as you fiddle with your “engagement” ring. You’ve since slipped it back onto your index finger where it originally was this evening, but you move it back to your ring finger and fiddle with it.
“I think…” your words are slightly slurred and laced with sleep. “I mean, I know… that I don’t want my real engagement ring to be diamond.”
His grin widens so much his cheeks begin to hurt. “No? So what will it be, baby?”
You form your own smile. “I’m sure I’ll love whatever you come up with. You know me best after all.”
He forces you to take another sip of water when your words don’t get any less coherent. While you drink he thinks of the ruby ring tucked away somewhere at Kenma’s house. You’re far too good at sniffing out clues and he’s never been good at keeping secrets from you.
You’re still in university, it’s far too soon to get engaged for real- you’ve both always said you wanted to wait until you’re done with school- but he’s been saving up for that ring since high school. he’s always knows you would be the one for him.
So when the time comes he’ll be ready. With a speech much better than whatever he said tonight.
“Alright, let’s get some sleep. You’re going to have the worst hangover tomorrow, you haven’t had that much to drink in a while.”
You tug at his wrist before he can shut the lamp off. “Wait, don’t you want to celebrate our engagement?”
“Sleep, baby.”
You pout a bit. “Don’t you think we celebrated enough tonight?”
You stare at him and he sighs. “There’s plenty of time for celebrating our fake engagement some more tomorrow,” he shuts the lamp off and wrangles you down with him. “Now it’s time for sleep.”
“‘m not tired,” you mumble, obviously lying. “I could go all night.”
You settle onto your pillow and he strokes your cheek. “I know, sweetheart, you’re a fighter.”
You nod as you begin to doze off.
He notices the ring still on your finger and he smiles softly.
The hangover you’ll be sporting tomorrow will definitely have been worth it.
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ty for reading!!! i hope you enjoyed <3
tagging: @emmyrosee @luvring @dira333 @tetzoro
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casuallyawkardd · 1 year ago
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Close Encounters of the Spiderkind
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Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Single Mother!Reader
Summary: When reader refuses to go on a mission, Miguel decides to pay a home visit to figure out why 
Warnings: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR ATSV! fluff, slight hurt/comfort and angst if you squint hard enough, Miguel is a softie around kids, it’s giving slow burn/platonic vibes, not fluent in Spanish so feel free to correct my wording/punctuation
A/N: This is kind of my way of dipping my toes back into the world of fanfiction writing, if ya’ll end up liking it I was planning on making it a little series of sorts. Not necessarily a multipart story, rather just little moments following the same general characters. I took the liberty of assigning a gender and name to the reader’s daughter since that sounded like it’d be easier in terms of writing, the rest is still like any Y/N story. Reader is also a spider person, but I’m not married to the idea for future oneshots? Drabbles? I don’t know what you kids call them nowadays...
MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
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It had only been a couple months since you had joined Spider-Society and, while you were still trying to find your footing, things were going a lot better than expected. There was a comradery with being around other people with the same abilities, who had experienced the same losses, victories and all that came with wearing the mask. You had found some good friends among the other Spiders, particularly with Peter B and Jess, as there was a common ground there that you had yet to share with them; something that the three of you had in common.
That commonality was currently asleep in the other room, your daughter Vada. For once, it had been a day where the radios were quiet. No calls from HQ to go on missions, no worrying chatter on the police radios, so you had taken the day to spend time with your daughter. The three year old was going through a phase where she was having nightmares almost every night, so the day was spent at home relaxing. From watching movies, to cooking meals together, Vada had been your little shadow all day and you had enjoyed every second of it.  While your toddler had tuckered herself out, you were restless, curled up on the couch watching TV at a low enough volume that only you could hear, thanks to your heightened senses. It may have been almost midnight, but that was still considered an early night for you. Used to the regime of patrolling until early in the morning and crawling into bed to get a few hours asleep before Vada came in to ask for her breakfast. Just as you were starting to feel the pull of sleep on your eyelids, letting the quiet calm sink into your bones, the moment was then yanked from you. When the beeping started the first time, you had acted on instinct to silence the noise. Your hand practically slapped the Gizmo on your wrist, the same Gizmo given to you by Miguel when you had joined his Spider-Society.  Ugh, Miguel. It was a damn shame that such a pretty face was wasted on a sourpuss like him. While being the leader of an elite group of Spider-People sounded like no easy task, there were times the man definitely took it too seriously. Sure, he had a great work ethic and was a respectable leader, but that all came with the downside that you couldn’t stand being around him for more than five minutes. You two hadn’t gotten off on the right foot and it seemed like he wouldn’t let you live that down. Ever the stern, cold-hearted leader, barking orders and chewing your ass out if something went wrong. He hardly ever smiled and when he did it was condescending, almost smug as he questioned just how intelligent you actually were. A waste of a pretty face indeed.
That pretty face came to mind when you looked down at your Gizmo, which was beeping once more, finally processing that it was Miguel who was trying to contact you. Shit.
“Hello?” your voice is quiet, wary as you answer him finally; trying to keep quiet for the toddler sleeping in the other room. Also because of the worry that you’ve pissed him off once again.
“Why aren’t you answering?” his voice cuts through the silence, monotone and firm. “An anomaly was detected on Earth-616, go take care of it. Ben Reilly and Peter Parker from Earth-13122 are already en route.”
“I....can’t,” you cringe as the word leaves your mouth. The pregnant pause that follows feels like an eternity.
“What do you mean you ‘can’t’?” He spits the word back at you, like you offended him with just the one syllable. More silence follows, Miguel waiting for your answer and you not knowing what to say. “...Is something wrong?”
“I have to go,” you end the call, not even registering the concern that had slid its way into his tone. With a heavy sigh, you lay your head against the back of the couch, regretting how you handled the situation, but thankful it was dealt with. That is until the familiar sound of a portal opening and closing disturbs your precious quiet once more. 
It makes you almost jump out of your skin, physically lurching off the couch, the warm hues from the light of the portal filling your living room and disappearing as quickly as they came. In their place is Miguel, clad in his spidersuit from head to toe. A wave of emotions goes through you, the look of shock, confusion and anger crossing your face in less than a second. He doesn’t seem to have noticed you yet, glancing around the space and disengaging his mask when he doesn’t register any immediate threats.
“What are you doing here!?” it takes all you have not to shout the words at him, instead resorting to a sort of hiss to keep your voice down. Miguel doesn’t seem to take the hint.
“This is why you couldn’t come? Because you’re too busy lounging around and watching trash TV?” he isn’t shouting per se, rather his tone makes him sound louder. That and the quiet of your apartment probably amplified his voice even more. “I know the weight of keeping the multiverse intact might go over your head, but the least you could do is be there for your teammates. I don’t allow slackers in my-” “Shh!” you’re moving towards him without even realizing, motherly instinct telling you to silence the noise that dared try to wake your daughter. Your hand reaches to cover his loud mouth and Miguel takes a step back to avoid your touch, the frustration reflecting in his eyes turning into red, hot anger. 
“Did you just ‘shh’ me!?” he sounds as if he’s in disbelief, his voice now actually rising in volume. You stumble over your words, trying to apologize and explain yourself all at once. Now it’s his turn to step towards you, his imposing frame towering over you and you can’t help but shrink back, “I don’t know who you think you are, but if you don’t get your ass in your suit, I’ll-”
“Mama?” Vada’s little voice cuts through the air, both Miguel and you freezing. When you turn to look at your daughter, who’s standing in the doorway to her bedroom, it feels like everything around you fades away. The static of the TV, Miguel, everything until all you can focus on is Vada. She’s clearly distressed, as you come to kneel in front of her you can see the tears in her big round eyes, the redness around them and on her nose, the slight tremble in her bottom lip. You know what’s wrong before she even has to explain.
“Sweet girl, another one?” you ask calmly, a hand going to stroke her hair. Vada nods, confirming your suspicion that she had been roused by yet another nightmare. The creak of the floorboards alerts you of Miguel taking a step closer and you’re suddenly very much aware of his presence once again. However, your eyes don’t leave Vada’s crying face. “Let’s get you back into bed,” you try to coax her into heading back the way she came, your toddler only resisting and shaking her head firmly.
“I want Mama’s bed,” she demands, sounding groggy as the sleep she had just risen from had yet to fully leave her. Vada doesn’t even let you respond before her tiny arms wrap around your neck, face pressing into the junction of your neck and shoulder, “Want you,” she mutters against you, the exhaustion and distress in her voice making your heart ache for her. “Vada,” you sigh heavily, exhausted as well. Exhausted from the heavy workload of being Spider-Woman not just for your universe, but other universes as well. Exhausted from the fact your child couldn’t get a wink of sleep and seeing her frustrated made you frustrated as well. You cave, scooping your daughter up in your arms and standing. Her body molds to yours, relaxing against your frame like it had done so many times before. As you rub her back and kiss her temple, you’re forced to turn and deal with the elephant in the room. Or rather the spider. 
You expect Miguel to look annoyed, as usual, but he isn’t. In fact, the anger he was prepared to unleash on you moments ago seems to have vanished, replaced with a look of curiosity, intrigue and dare you say....awe? He’s looking at Vada, who’s about to pass out in your arms, with a softened expression, the sight of the small girl seeming to tug the corners of his mouth up just slightly.
Huh.
Miguel seems to catch himself staring, shaking his head to clear the fog and meeting your gaze once more. “I...didn’t know,” is all he can say, not as confident in the way he stands.
“No one knows,” you reply in a much harsher tone than you intended. After a deep breath, you adjust how you speak, “I’ve only been on the team for a couple months. It’s not that I don’t trust the other spiders...I just want to be careful, yah know?” Miguel nods along with what you say and you can’t help but keep talking to fill the now awkward silence, “Usually I have someone to watch her, but it’s been so long since I’ve had a day to just give her all my attention- I promise, it won’t happen again. I know that I should answer if you call-”
“Cállate,” Miguel cuts you off and you’re almost grateful he’s saved you from rambling. There’s another moment of silence before he sighs, “You don’t have to explain yourself, really. If I had known,” he waves a hand to indicate to your daughter, “this was the reason you were ignoring my calls, I wouldn’t have been so hard on you. Your daughter comes first, I get it.”
His words hit harder than they should. Every Spider-Person had heard the story. How Miguel was willing to put his own duties aside to live in a universe where he had a daughter of his own. Replacing the him of that universe, who had died tragically, to live the life he had always wanted; only to have that universe crumble around him. Literally. It explained his cold demeanor, you’d probably be a bitch too if your daughter died in your arms, but that coldness you had become accustomed to seemed to melt away the longer he took in the sight of you holding your daughter.
“You said her name’s Vada?” he asks, stepping a little closer. Normally, you would probably keep your distance from him, maternal instincts in overdrive with an imposing figure like Miguel so close to Vada, but you stay in place. Not bothered by his presence for once. He’s looking at you, expecting an answer, and you nod your head. He hums, “How old?”
“Three,” you answer and he hums again. “...Is everything okay? Regarding the mission?”
“Huh? Oh,” he clears his throat, adjusting his stance and taking a small step back. When had he gotten so close to you? “I think those two should be fine on their own. Earth-13122′s Spider-Man knows what he’s doing and-”
“You know, you can just call him Lego Spider-Man. Everyone calls him Lego Spider-Man.”
“That’s not his correct title.”
“Uh-huh,” you smile, holding back a laugh at how serious Miguel seemed to be about the subject. “...Well, I think it’s time we go to bed.”
“Right, right,” Miguel moves like he’s about to walk out the front door, seeming to forget that he had come via portal and catching himself as his hand grasps the handle. Has he always been this socially awkward? He turns to look at you again, “Should I just...?”
“Yes, please open your noisy portal outside.”
“Claro que sí,” he nods in understanding, opening the door. Just as he’s about to leave, he pauses again, turning to look back at you, “Even if you’re busy, you should still answer when I call. I was worried about you.”
“Worried about me?” you repeat, a bit of teasing in your voice.
“Worried as in the normal amount of worried.”
“Sure, sure, O’Hara.”
“I’m leaving now,” he huffs, turning to leave again. Yet he can’t help but stop one more time, “Goodnight.”
He finally leaves, door shutting with a soft click. You go to the door to lock it, carrying Vada into your room for bed. It seems that she had managed to fall back asleep despite your little interaction with Miguel. As you lay down and pull the comforter over the two of you, Vada snuggling impossibly close to you once more, you lie there thinking about what had just transpired. 
Maybe his pretty face wasn’t a waste. 
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zorosimpclub · 9 months ago
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Annoying neighbour – Toji NSFW
⊹˚. ♡ Summary: Toji is your annoying neighbour who keeps you up at night with his 'noise', you go over to take matters in your own hands.
⊹˚. ♡ Content: 18+ only, MDNI – fem!reader, smut, enemies to lovers, degradation, praise kink, spanking, creampie, unprotected, hair pulling.
⊹˚. ♡ Word count: 4K
⊹˚. ♡ Author's note: opening jjk requests, drop them in the comments below c: (also toji??? i'd let him ruin me anyday–)
Toji is her neighbour who she has had one conversation with in her life (the day she moved in). He has been causing havoc with the beeline of women brought over every night, keeping her up with the dull creaking sounds of his bed and moans of various women throughout the week.
Today she decided to confront him. She pounded her knuckles against his door annoyed at the fact that she hadn’t been able to sleep yet again last night.
"We've never formally met, I'm your neighbour. Mind keeping the fucking noise down?" She narrowed her eyes and leaned against his doorframe
Toji looked at her for a moment, his eyebrow twitching. This chick has nerve. Toji stares her down, his lip curling into a smirk.
"And why should I? It's my place, I do whatever I want in here."
"Right, I don't care what you do in your house, I just ask that you keep the noise down at night. Some of us have to work in the mornings." Her lips curled down in distaste, this man was starting to get on her last nerve. Toji smirked and folded his arms across his his chest, arms bulging with all the muscle.
"I pay rent for this apartment and I'll do whatever I want. Don't like it? Move."
She stared at him a bit irritated, though she was a good foot shorter than him, he didn't intimidate her at all. "Ass." She said, voice laced with anger, hair swaying furiously as she walked off.
"Doll face!" He called out to her.
She glanced back at him, not turning around fully, a menacing glare on her face, "Huh?”
He smirked.
"I couldn't help but notice you have a nice... figure. How would you like to spend the night with me? Maybe you’ll learn to stop being so uptight." He says, his voice oozing with confidence.
"In your dreams, asshole." She turned back around and slammed the door of her apartment shut. They had lived in opposite apartments in the building for the past year and a half, but she barely saw him since he was pretty much a night owl, just partying or sleeping with women during unholy hours of the night.
She really didn't care for his smooth words. He thought he was hot and her rejecting his flirting like that made her more attractive to him. He walked over to her door, pounding on it with his fist.
"Hey, babydoll! Why don't you open the door and let me in for a second?" He was speaking in a condescending tone as if they had a close relationship.
She ignored him, typing away at her laptop. There's no way she was going to humour him after how crass he was to her.
Toji knocked on the door twice more.
"C’mon, honey, don't be like that." He says in that same condescending tone, making sure to raise his voice so he can be heard. He wanted the whole building to know just how badly he wanted her.
She ran to her door embarrassed at what the rest of the building would think, the last thing she wanted to do was be a nuisance to her neighbours. Opening the door, she spoke in a hushed but annoyed tone, "What the hell do you want?"
"Oh, aren't you just a doll?" He says, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "That ass of yours must have ya drowning in guys, can't get enough of their attention, can ya?"
She shot him an incredulous look, what was this guy's problem? She made sure to keep quiet when she had late night 'visitors' over unlike him, if anything she was the model neighbour,
"Not that it's any of your business..." She smirked and stepped a little closer to him in a intimidating manner and whispered, "...but I'm not some attention starved whore like you."
Toji's eyes widened in surprise at her boldness. No one had ever talked to him like this before. Most women melted under his charming gaze, and the ones that didn't, he was typically able to manipulate with his words.
"Oh, you've got mouth on you, don't ya?" Toji laughs, taking a step closer to her. She could feel his hot breath as he spoke to her in a condescending tone.
She tiptoed to whisper in his ear, "Too bad you'll never know what that mouth will be like on you."
Within a flash, she slammed the door shut in his face. The rest of the evening was uneventful, thankfully Toji didn't come to bother her again (for now). She was doing her chores around the house since it was a Saturday tomorrow and wanted to get the house prepped for a relaxing weekend.
After a glass or two of wine she stripped down to her satin pyjamas, ready to slip into bed. It was 3 AM and she felt sleepy – everything was all good and dandy until she heard a woman moaning and bed creaking come from across the building,
"A-ahhh T-Toji....yes!" the voice whined, clearly in pure bliss but she wasn't having any of it.
The noise across the hall was all too familiar. Those sounds of ecstasy, of pleasure... she knew he was at it again with some random woman. She wasn't about to let this keep her up, but she wasn't going to let him get away so easily.
She had it. She was done. She walked to her door and started banging on Toji's apartment door. This was unacceptable. She yelled angrily into the air, "Shut up!"
She could hear Toji laugh from his apartment after hearing the banging on the door. He gets up from his bed, not bothering to put any clothes on and stumbled over to the door, cracking it a little open to smirk at her.
"Did you come over to join, doll face?"
He gave her an once over, she was dressed in incredibly revealing satin pyjamas and her face was cute as always, even if she was seething.
"As if I'd do something as stupid as that. Tell your "visitor" to keep it down. It's 3 fucking AM asshole! People are trying to sleep!"
"She's not a visitor, babydoll... she's a regular." Toji smirks at her, taking a long drink from some sort of bottle. "Why don't you tell her yourself?"
He opens the door a little more to let her see his 'regular' and the full image of what was happening.
And in an instant, she was blushing like she had never done before. The woman had her mouth latched onto the side of his neck, but that's not why she was blushing. No. She was blushing because when she looked down, she realised that he was in fact wearing nothing. He stood naked and proud, undoubtedly because he had an irresistible physique and an... impressive–
"You've got a lot of nerve, you know that?" Toji asked her with a smirk. "You call me an ass and an attention starved whore, and then you come over here at 3 AM to complain about my noise. Meanwhile, you're looking at me like I'm your own personal wet dream."
"S-Shut up...! I…j-just keep it down!" She had to tear her eyes from him and stormed off into her apartment, her heart hammering out her chest. What the hell was that?! Why was she so flustered and attracted to him?! She placed her hand on her chest to steady her unruly heart.
Toji smirked once more as he watched her leave. "Aww, doll face." He calls out to her. "Where are you going? I can fix that anger problem for you. You look like you need a good fucking."
The next few weeks went by extremely fast and before she knew it, it was another weekend again. She did everything in her power to avoid her cocky neighbour. Whenever she left her apartment, she would hear his apartment door opening, causing her to sprint to the elevator and closing it shut as soon as she could.
He went from never being seen to having multiple near run ins with her. In hindsight, it was like he was making an active effort to run into her and she didn't like how it made her feel one bit. She considered herself to be a confident and strong woman who has had her fair share of intimate partners but for some reason, the image of him standing in his naked glory had her all hot, bothered and needy.
Today however, wasn't like those other days. As per usual, she looked through her peephole to make sure that he wasn't out there and when the coast was clear, she made a bolt for the elevators... but fate had other plans in store. Just as the elevator doors began to slide shut behind her, she heard hurried footsteps echoing down the hallway. Before she could react, a hand thrust itself into the narrowing gap, halting the doors' closure. With a sinking feeling, she looked up to find herself face-to-face with the very person she had been trying so hard to avoid – her arrogant neighbour, his trademark smirk firmly in place as he stepped into the elevator
She could already feel his eyes undressing her so openly. What is it with him today? Every time she looks at him, she could feel her heart racing and her body trembling. He was just so attractive, and he knew it...
"Going somewhere, dollface?" Toji smirks, leaning right up against her as they stand in the tiny elevator. He was taller than her, so she has to crane her neck to look up at him.
"None of your business." She made sure to squish herself against the corner that's most furthest away from him, constantly spamming the elevator button to hurry it to the ground floor.
She screamed and fell on top of him when the elevator came to a screeching halt. He grumbled as he lay on the floor with her straddling him...to make things worse, she decided to wear a skirt today. There's no way the elevator just had to malfunction right now and force her ass first on his groin?!
His lips curl into a sly grin as she lands on his lap. Their faces are inches away from each other, her legs wrapped around him, her skirt riding up, giving him a mouthwatering view of her thighs as she's straddling him in the provocative position. He reaches for her hips and holds her tightly in place to prevent her from getting up.
"You've been avoiding me and now look, you're practically handed to me on a silver platter."
He's grinning from ear to ear as she struggled to get free, her ass grinding against his groin. She must really believe that she has control over the situation by the look on her face as she's trying so frantically to make them both stand up. He can't help but continue to hold her in place, his fingers wrapping firmly around her hips. Her face heated up at the realisation of something hard stirring against her thigh.
"W-what is that...?"
She doesn't know why she asked, it's obvious what it was but for some reason she needed verbal confirmation.
He lets out a quiet chuckle as he sees the look on her face. She's embarrassed... and easy to tease.
"What do you think it is?" Toji asks her in response to her question, looking her in the eyes and smirking. His eyes travel up her thighs until they reach her face again.
He leans in close and whispers into her ear, "It grows bigger and harder I look at you, doll face, so stay right where you are."
She felt her whole face heat up at his words, such dirty dirty words but for some reason she savoured them all. He was driving her insane but she loved the way he was looking at her so hungrily, not that she would ever openly admit it to him.
"S-Shut up...!"
"Look at you, struggling to get free like that. Such a tease, sweetheart."
He smirks again and leans in closer. His hand slides up her thigh, slipping under her skirt to grip her thighs tightly, just to let her know that he could move her any way he wants to.
"Do you know how badly I want to rip this skirt off you?”
Toji couldn't help but chuckle at her blush. She was so easy to tease, it was almost too good. He could feel his arousal growing by the second, his fingers gripping her thighs tighter.
She couldn’t say much, or at least she tried to but nothing but a soft moan came out. Toji's lips curved into a sinister smirk as he savoured her awkwardness. He loved seeing her squirm under his gaze, her body betraying her attempts to remain composed. Feeling her obvious lust for him come through, he decided to gently brush his fingers against her panties.
“My, my. Someone is a little slut isn’t she? Look how wet you are, all just from me getting hard.”
She gasped but she couldn’t deny how hot it was being degraded like this, especially when it came from someone as attractive as Toji. A once strong willed and confident woman, putty in his hands. She blushed sweetly and instinctively ground her hips against his fingers.
“M-more…”
Toji's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her request. He had expected her to protest or try to get free, not beg for more. But here she was, willing and begging for him  to touch her and it turned him on even more. He pushed her panties to the side, briefly dipping his finger into her wetness only to use it as a lube to circle her clit.
“Such a dirty little girl begging for me to touch you.”
She threw her head back a little and ground her hips faster, moaning as he touched her.
Toji smirked as he saw the effect he was having on her. He continued to circle her clit, adding two fingers in her knowing that he had complete control over her body. The feeling of power was exhilarating and made him even harder. She was clearly enjoying riding his fingers, fucking them to the pace she liked. As much as he enjoyed watching her face and eagerness, he pulled his fingers out of her and smirked lazily.
“H-hey…” She sounded disappointed, her eyelids heavy from the lust she felt towards him.
Toji couldn't help but chuckle at her response. She was addicted to his touch and didn't even realise it. He loved the way she looked at him, pleading for more with those big, beautiful eyes.  She had hoped it would be more satisfying for her but he was enjoying this too much to rush things.
“Don’t worry doll face, not gonna leave ya hanging. I’m just gonna have a little taste.”
Without a warning, he gripped her hips and sat her down on top of his face, kissing her inner thigh teasingly and flicking her clit occasionally with his tongue.
“Nnnnhh…” She writhed in his grip, wanting to feel more of his tongue on her.
Her reaction only fuelled his desire and he dove in headfirst, tongue darting in and out of her wet folds. He knew she was close, could feel it in the way she bucked against him and the sounds she made.
“Please! I…” She didn’t even know what on earth she was saying or what she was asking, all she knew was that the pleasure she was feeling was so intense that her brain was turning into mush.
"Not yet, doll face. You haven't paid the price for your rudeness yet. I wanna’ hear you use your pretty little voice to beg more." His voice was a low rumble, deep and almost threatening. She was so close but he wanted her to beg, to need him more than anything.
“Pl-please more! Please- wanna’ c-cum..!”
The sound of her pleading, her desperation, was music to his ears. He increased the pace and intensity of his tongue work, flicking her clit relentlessly as he sucked on her sensitive flesh. Toji let out a pleased chuckle as he felt her walls clench around his tongue and the sweet juices of her arousal flood his mouth with a loud moan.
“Good girl… now get on your knees for me.” He slapped her ass and watched as she obeyed his instructions, getting on her knees for him and looking at him with desire on her face.
"So eager to please…" he let out a deep, low growl as he watched her get on her knees for him. The sight of her submission and her desire for him, only fuelled his own lust. Toji smirked down at her, his eyes dark and lustful.
"That's it my little whore, open your mouth and stick out your tongue for me." he purred, reaching down to guide his thick cock to her waiting mouth.
"Good girl," he groaned, his voice dripping with approval as parted her lips eagerly, her tongue darting out to taste him. He could feel her desire radiating off of her as she took his head in her mouth, gently sucking on his tip. He gripped her hair roughly and slid his cock into her mouth with a hiss.
"That's it, take it all. My hard cock, my taste, everything you can get." His voice was thick with lust and command, his hips thrusting forward into her eager mouth.
Toji groaned in pleasure as she eagerly took his cock into her mouth, her throat muscles flexing to accommodate his size and length. He tightened his grip on her hair, pulling her head back and forth, matching the rhythm of his thrusts.
“Good fucking slut…that’s it, you looks so pretty with my cock in your mouth.”
He pulled her hair hard, pushing himself deeper into her willing mouth, his hips pumping hard and fast. He could feel the tension building within him, hearing the sounds of her gags as she took him deeper.
“Fuck I’m close… take it slut! All of it!”
He pushed her head into his cock and thrust a couple of times as he came down her throat with a moan of her name. She swallowed every single drop, opening her empty mouth to show that she swallowed all of it.
"That’s my good girl. I’m not finished with you yet." He growled, yanking her up by her wrist and pushed her against the elevator walls.
“I’m gonna’ fuck the attitude out of you and you’re going to take it, understood?”
She bit down on her lip and blushed, nodding not trusting herself to speak.
"Good," he smirked, his voice needy and husky. He reached up to cup her face, his thumb tracing over her lips as he leaned down to kiss her passionately. His hands wasted no time, ripping her shirt open only to realise that she wasn’t wearing a bra.
“Naughty little slut.” He mumbled against her lips and took in her nipple in his mouth, tugging at it gently with his teeth, eliciting a sweet moan from her.
Toji pulled back, grinning wickedly as he saw the desire in her eyes. He pressed his hard length against her wet folds, feeling her shudder with anticipation. Without warning, he thrust deep into her, filling her completely.
“F-Fuck!” She moaned, clinging onto his back, “T-Too big…!”
“Gonna’ make sure you don’t talk back to me ever again. Every time you see me, I want you to beg for me to fuck you.” Toji growled low in his throat, his eyes burning with lust as he watched her face contort in pleasure. He pulled out almost completely before slamming back in again, harder than before.
She let out a pleasure filled scream and dug her nails into his back, clenching her eyes shut.
Toji groaned, his hips pounding harder and faster, driving into her tightness with relentless force. He bit down on her neck, sucking at the delicate skin, as he lost himself in the sensation of claiming her body.
"Fuck, you like that? Who knew my uptight little neighbour was such a slut for my cock?" Toji growled, his hips slamming against hers in a brutal rhythm. He nipped at her earlobe briefly before whispering, "You belong to me now."
She moaned in response, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she clung on to him desperately.
He grinned, the corners of his mouth curling up in a wicked smirk. "That's it baby, just look pretty and take it." he spat as he plunged deeper into her wetness, hitting her sweet spot over and over again.
He bit down on her shoulder hard enough to leave a mark as he continued his rapid thrusts inside of her, taking her like he needed her to exist, “Pussy s’good, I wanna’ fuck it every day. Will you let me baby?”
She nodded her fucked out face looking at him briefly to see beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, “Y-Yes! Please…!”
"I'll fuck you whenever I want, and you'll love every second of it."
She nodded again, tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she felt immense pleasure from the way he moved in her. He growled in satisfaction, his hips pounding harder as he felt her tightness clenching around him.
"That's it, cry for me, beg me to fuck you harder."
She begged him over and over again, chanting his name like it was her life force.
He laughed breathlessly, “What’s the matter? No longer calling me an asshole now are ya? Did ya just need a good fucking, doll face?”
Toji felt her wrap her legs around him as he fucked her against the wall, feeling her close to her peak, he pounded into her faster, “You gonna’ come for me sweetheart?”
She nodded desperately. “Y-yes, feel s’goooood…!”
Toji growled in satisfaction as he felt her body tremble and convulse in orgasmic bliss. He continued to pound into her, relishing in her helpless moans and cries of pleasure.
"That's it, let go for me, princess."
She writhed against him as she unravelled, “T-Toji!”
He felt himself close to his own release, he chased her pleasure with his own, “Where do you want me to cum?” He asked panting and tucking her hair behind her ear
She whined, feeling overstimulated, “I-Inside me! P-please… needa’ feel you…”
“What a whore… feel my cum pouring into you, feel it fill you up. It's all for you my little slut.”
Toji groaned, his hips bucking wildly as he felt himself release inside her. He buried himself to the hilt and held still for a moment, savouring the feeling of their tangled bodies. His grip on her tightened as he growled out her name in satisfaction.
She panted and clung onto him as he pulled out of her and collapsed against her, his sweat-drenched skin sticking to hers. He pressed his forehead against hers and grinned.
"Will you stop complaining about the noise if I invite you over instead?”
“I’m not going to be one of your weekly conquests.”
“Don’t worry princess, I’ll make sure it’s just you I’m fucking.”
She grinned a little and leaned into kiss him, “Our neighbours are going to hate us.”
He chuckled, his breath hot against her lips. "Let them hate us. As long as you're mine, I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks."
He gave her a quick kiss, his eyes burning with desire. "Now, get dressed and come over to mine for a proper fucking.”
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thatbitchery · 6 days ago
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FINANCE 102 (?). EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE TO MAKE THIS MUCH IN ONLY A YEAR IN PASSIVE INCOME
& this time I even brought receipts.
Apart from the not even subtle flex, this year has easily been one of my most successful financial years yet. When I say passive income we are not counting investment returns (that financial statement isn't out yet and does not matter, it's automatically reinvested. Not even for flexing purposes, there are a few things I need you to understand about me and these numbers:
First, none of this is salary. I work a medium wage job that pays in four figures monthly. It also does not include other income sources that require my involvement. Passive is the key term.
Second, apart from right at the start, I've had no personal involvement in any of these sources. None. Not even calls or texts or emails, fully automated.
Third, it is all tax free. It all belongs to me. One of them is after tax but the rest are 100% what I've made.
These are three completely different streams, and these are between November last year to date. One year.
No it's easy or simple or fast.
(sidenote) I take my financial statements in Nov and plan for the new year bc i don't count dec as even part of a productive year.
My passive income (including investments) is my largest source of income and will always be.
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(because I will always bring the receipts)
I am no financial guru so I can not directly give you financial education, but I can tell you what I do and if you get it, good for you.
Soo then, steps I've taken to be able to get to this financial position at 24 (I turn 25 next month btw;) ) from, well, since as far back as I can remember. It's a process.
-> First, Investing heavily in financial education. What has this looked like for me?
I've probably gone to 30+ finance seminars and workshops centered around investment, asset management and wealth distribution. I went to my first at 19 and last in March. If i have to pay I will. If i need to skip town, I will. I go, i listen, I ask questions, I make connections. I make a plan of what I want to learn and focus on that, not haphazardly consuming content as long as it's finance related.
Finance bros (is a gender-neutral term pls). It is a finance bro that told me to buy my first ecommerce business before covid hit. It was a finance bro that got me to buy the business that has made me the last screenshot for less that 10k. It was a finance bro that taught me to work low wage and make my bank in assets so I don't overpay in tax. It was my finance bros to teach me what to invest where and how to keep my banks offshore and to set up my trust fund (plus law girlies ofc mwah) and get my LLC. Finance bros save lives. I'm not good with money. I have people that are good with money.
-> Second, i tied up my loose ends early enough. Loose ends? Yes, the financial vampires that had no return on investment.
First is societal obligation aka giving back to the community. Wrapped that up in mentorship and volunteering (a lot because I'm not giving my money to people that have more than me that's wild.
Second- my family. Shout out and huge fat thank you to my extended family for being extremely sh!tty openly to me and my nuclear family when we were younger so absolutely no one faults me for cutting them off amen. For my nuclear family it is kind of obvious whoever is the most financially advanced provides for the family and that's fine if it means a set amount every month not calling me whenever you want some baby shower or whatever. Loose end. Set up investment accounts for each of them and invested monthly up from my third year of high school to second year of uni (Three- four years) while teaching them how to make money work for you then just- pulled back. No one can say I abandoned them and every four months if I want to instead of sending money home I send it to their accounts. Tied up that loose end bc they can reaally reallllly bankrupt you if you're not careful.
-> third, always focusing on the ROI and what is important to me. If it does not have a higher return on investment what do I even need it for? What does this mean?
It means befriending the kids at Fashion and textile faculty in uni and having them teach me how to work clothes and make up into my body and into achieving the lifestyle i want through them and then finding my ROI.
Having my eyeliner tattooed for <50$ in my home country so I don't need to buy eyeliner and reapply every ten minutes. It means getting my bags made for <50 each in my home country too instead of buying a high quality bag for God knows how much in my Country of residence.
It means buying stocks not bags and dresses because one appreciates and the other depreciates and dresses are not important to me.
It means perfecting my thrift game because i value quality, not price tags.
It means moving to a higher end area although rent is higher because the security, the gym, the people, the amenities, all things that are of value to me.
It means investing in things that I know will give me a high return in investment and using my money to buy value, not things. Before I even touch my money for purchase I am already calculating its value vs my value system vs return on investment.
-> Fourth, Building discipline. I have invested the MOST in this area. I can not even stress this enough - discipline is the highest value skill you can ever learn. According to google discipline is "the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience". And that is exactly how I did it, used punishment to correct myself.First, deciding the rules and code of behavior I wanted to follow. Second, making myself follow it using the nacient learning method, reward and punishment- where reward is normalcy and punishment is just :).
In high school, running for double captainship because that would force me to work and work hard. The pressure of the expectations just one captainship demanded was hell, make that two plus having to keep my scholarship and yeah. One wrong move and I'd be stripped of them both, and that forced me to never make mistakes. And it was really, really hard to not make mistakes.
Knowing my ADHD brain has an extremely hard time being consistent, I learned pretty early I need external help to keep myself in check. Realized that help has to come from someone I respected after trying to make it work with friends and failing. My first mentor cost me a good 5000$ every month (not so high it would paralyze me but high enough i felt the pressure) and when I slipped up i owed them 500$ on the floor. Missed something on my to do list with no good excuse? 500$. Failed my exams? Ate junk? Bought something without considering the ROI? Did not reach my health goals ? 500$. On the spot. No stories no argument no nothing. You mess up six times and the seventh you just automatically cry even before you think of messing up because damn. Reward and punishment. After a while (One year to be exact) it gets so deeply programmed its part of my ADHD.
Accountability partners. Exclusive. High functioning. A pretty 1200$ every month but I don't mind, it's worth it. Extremely high ROI.
-> Heavily investing in myself because I will always give myself the highest ROI.
Blood checks every quarterly because my health is everything. (Chinese herbalists, extremely cheap).
Educating myself heavily in all the fields that are important to me. Communicaton. Languages (Learning my tenth if we count sign language as a language and eleventh if we count braille). Gut health (Filthily educated in this bad boy. PHD level). Psychology and human behavior. Using fashion, beauty and styling to work for me. Violin. Equestrian. Everything I like. Double bachelors and a weird number of accredited certifications.
Therapy. I'm no longer in therapy but this was probably the best thing I ever did. Worth every dime. Went through six therapists until i found my stoic reality-based gem that was not trying to make me feel better but get better and survive the world as is.
My social life and friendships. Not even for social climbing, more for having friends and building my community and tribe. I'm not a lone wolf or sigma I'm a social person that's also part of a social species. Pouring into my friendships and networks has had a super impressive ROI and has been worth the trouble.
My reputation and social / public image. Nothing I guard harder than this, not even my money. I am not an idgafer i will never be. A good name is better than riches. I actually care what people say about me and carefully manipulate them into saying what I want.
Skill amassing especially in areas in consider essential. Home keeping. Sewing. Personal finance. Health and nutrition. Social skills. IT. Music. &c &c.
(will probably add as I remember. will also probably delete there's something really cringy about bringing receipts)
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heegyukeluv · 3 months ago
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love-battery (lhs) - req
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pairing: heeseung x afab!reader
synopsis: Heeseung always would make you feel recharged just by being around. And you did the same to him.
my's note: hi hello here's a very fluff cute little thing! it's a request (thank you for requesting <3), so i hope you like it!!!! (have to say that when i chose the name of this fic, the jinyoung's song with similar name started to play on my head non-stop help)
warnings: skinship, established relationship, fluff, pet names, explicit language (i can't help myself. i'll always use at least one 'fuck' lol).
request: clingy gf with heeseung and it’s super cute and they’re in love, she really just misses him (here!)
wc: 3k
NOT PROOFREAD.
Even with your boyfriend’s tight schedule and the fact you both lived quite far from each other, you and Heeseung always managed ways to meet up and hang out for at least an hour or so – enough to work as a full recharge for Heeseung.
However, for the last whole month you only saw Heeseung three times. You were used to seeing him almost every day, either by going to his and staying for a bit or he coming to yours for the same reason, and it was pissing you off how annoying adult life was being so far, unabling you to do your daily basis chores, let alone drive to Heeseung’s studio to be with him.
Heeseung normally had a tough routine as a producer by spending long hours in his studio, staying up all night working on his music and constantly dealing with tight deadlines. Your favorite hobby was to grab a coffee and some snacks to surprise him by showing up unexpectedly; and of course, to sit on his lap while he kept doing his things. 
But now you were the one fighting against time, as you had to deal with your last year in college, struggling with your final project and with your respective project partners – who would have thought that working with people would lead you to be that stressed, huh?
Your life was a total mess at this point, your sleep schedule chaotic, your body aching, begging for a pause to get some proper rest, but you really couldn’t give yourself that luxury; all the submission dates getting closer and closer making you go crazy in desperation.
And on top of that, you haven’t seen your boyfriend, the main source of your happiness, in almost two weeks.
“This is so frustrating, Hee,” you said with a realistic sad tone, when you decided to ignore the blank page on your laptop waiting for a new plot to pop up in your mind, and give your love life a little more attention, calling Heeseung. “It’s almost like the world doesn't want us to be together.”
“Don’t say such things, my love. Not even as kidding,” he interrupted you to say with a gentle voice. “We’re going to figure out something, yeah?”
“I’m sorry, Hee. But– I’m dealing with a bunch of stupid assignments with stupid deadlines in this stupid degree I chose, and you’ve told me early this week that you were pretty chill with your work. But I didn’t even have time to invite you over the days you said you’re free! Not to mention that if you were here I’d be paying more attention to you and getting fucked with my project.”
“Y/N–”
“And when I’m free you’re the one swamped with work! And, please, I’m not blaming you, babe, please don’t take it the wrong way. I love you and I love that you can work with the thing you’re passionate about. I’m just… Frustrated,” you unloaded with a long sigh, voice trembling a bit since your feelings were, also, a mess and your heart aching. “And I miss you so much. I wish we lived a bit closer, so we could meet more often in moments like this.”
You heard Heeseung soft breathing through the phone. He decided to let you vent instead of cutting you off, because he, more than anyone, knew how overwhelmed you felt whenever you had to deal with submission dates and projects. It was your third project in your whole degree, this one being the most important one, and Heeseung saw you in shambles during your working time in the smaller ones, fully understanding how hard it has been with this final one.
“I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this, pretty girl,” you could feel the comfort in his tender, sweet tone. You wiped out a single tear that tried to escape your eyes, curving yourself into a little ball on your couch. “But you don’t have to do this alone, my love,” you heard a weird noise through his phone, very similar to a door unlocking. Your door unlocking. You frowned. “Don’t freak out, bae. I’m entering your apartment right now.”
Your heart dropped in your chest. “What?” You whispered in disbelief, your phone falling off from your hand, your eyes widening as you watched your boyfriend walk through the front door, smiling big and bright at you.
His dark red hair was attractively messy because of the motorcycle helmet. He also carried a big backpack on his back and a plastic bag with the logo of your favorite food place.
“You’re kidding me,” your voice was barely a whisper at this point, your lips curving into a smile that grew bigger and bigger, still finding it hard to believe that the man talking to you on your phone was now in front of you. Your beloved boyfriend was now in front of you. “Lee fucking Heeseung!” You almost squealed, walking in his direction right after he put his helmet and his backpack on the ground, to jump on his open arms which were waiting to embrace you in a tight hug.
Your legs instantly wrapped around his waist and your arms on his shoulders, his firm hands gripping on your thighs to hold you close and steady as you buried your face on his neck, inhaling his scent as if it was your favorite drug. You heard Heeseung chuckling at your reaction and you finally noticed how fast your heart was beating, everything feeling unreal. All the frustration you felt waving off your body quickly.
“Hi, baby,” Heeseung said in an affectionate way, with you still hidden on the curve of his neck, making him let out a small laugh at your adorableness. He missed you so much.
Your fingers tangled in his soft hair, pulling him into yourself as if you could become one before you started to kiss every piece of his exposed skin, from his jawline to close to his ear, to his cheek, the tip of his nose and finally his glistening, dreamy lips.
Heeseung let out a contented sigh when he felt your sweet taste, walking carefully through the living room so he could sit on the couch with you on his lap, the contact never breaking. He deepened the kiss by slightly brushing his tongue on your bottom lip, electricity running all over his body once you let him in to feel him closer, so intimately; his hands sneaked into your shirt, caressing the bare skin of your waist just because he needed to touch, to feel you more.
“I missed you so much, my love,” you whispered when you parted away to catch your breath, pecking his lip countless times as you said “Missed. You. So. Much. Oh. My. God,” and the last one lasted a bit longer, making Heeseung giggle and kiss you properly one more time. 
“I missed you too, pretty.”
Heeseung was looking at you with so much love, his eyes sparkling in joy for finally having you that close, touching, kissing you. He caressed your cheek while his gaze wandered all your face features, as if he was trying to memorize every one of them, completely endeared by your beauty.
Heeseung looked at you as if he just discovered what love is. 
You weren’t different, though. Your soft touch on his strands of hair, scratching slightly as your contemplated every piece of your very good-looking boyfriend, not holding yourself when your fingers started gently to trace his face; his big deer eyes now turned into little crescents, his pretty nose that you loved to kiss, the little charming mole on his forehead, and his so, so attractive lips adorning the most beautiful smile you ever had the chance to see. You were so in love.
Heeseung felt like he could stare at you all day and he would never feel tired, actually to have you close always worked as a battery recharge. And for you, Heeseung did the same, making all your bad feelings wash away easily because you had him, and you knew you could rely on him.
Ironically, the sound of your laptop on the coffee table indicating that its battery was running out, pulled you both out of your little love bubble, startling you slightly. The reality check hit you with full force, and the bottom of your stomach sank immediately.
You gulped, looking at Heeseung with a hint of sadness before you sighed and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy you’re here, but I–”
“You have things to do, I know,” Heeseung cut you off mid-sentence. His kind voice, the small peck on your cheek, and his cute smile making you shiver and melt. “But don’t worry about me, okay? You do your things, I’ll be around for whenever you finish, and then we can cuddle,” he said simply, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
“You’re staying?” You questioned with eyes sparkling in confusion. “I don’t want you to mess up your sche–”
Heeseung now stopped your talking with a sweet kiss, and then another, and another, and one more just in case. “I’m staying, baby,” he chuckled at your tilted head, expressing that you were very much confused. “As I said before, I’m pretty chill this week,” he explained with a warm smile, mirroring yours. “Anything I have to do, I can do from my computer or phone, so I’m all yours this weekend, my love.”
Heeseung fell even deeply for you when he saw your eyes shining like you received the best news of your life. And for you, you actually did. To have your boyfriend for a whole weekend after days without being able to see each other, you truly thought you were dreaming. 
So to have Heeseung feeding you while your hands worked on your writing was definitely something that you hadn’t planned for your friday. He was openly giving his opinion as well after you cutely asked him to, paying attention to every detail you shared with him about the plot you were working on. 
“So your idea is that after he leaves the house, you give an extra zoom on the door knob because someone is going to open, even though the house is supposed to be empty?”
“Yes! And then it’s revealed to be actually his ‘dead’ twin!” You explained excitedly, noticing Heeseung gazing very passionately at you. You blushed, feeling suddenly too aware, because your story now has been read by someone other than you. “I– I know it’s kinda simple and boring, but I mean– I got the approval to keep working on it, so…” You shrugged, trying to act cool, but your pout was showing how insecure you actually felt.
“It’s not simple or anything bad, my love,” Heeseung couldn’t resist the urge of kissing your small pout as he reassured you. “It’s impressive how your creative mind works, I’m really proud,” he said with his voice filled with sincerity.
You gave him a shy smile before going back to writing, heart beating fast with his genuine words.
Heeseung never left your side. You needed him around you every single second, not only to compensate for the days you were apart, but because Heeseung was really your source of energy. So to write on your computer while having his fingers intertwined with yours became a natural activity during the moments you were working on your project. You could feel Heeseung’s love stare at your face during those moments, completely in love by your focused expression. 
Sometimes he would leave your touch to reply to some of his co-workers on his phone, giving them the attention they needed, but in the meantime his head would be resting on your shoulder, completely addicted to your touch and to having you close – his hair tickling your neck making you lose focus for a few minutes.  
You both wanted and needed each other with the same intensity. Heeseung always loved your clinginess, emphasizing how lovable you looked with your pouty face whenever he had to leave the bed to go to the bathroom or grab some food in the kitchen and “leave you to die alone”, like you normally would say in a very dramatic way. Especially because he himself was pretty clingy too, holding you in a tight back hug whenever you had to go back home after visiting him at his studio, refusing to let you leave his side.
To move in together was a big dream. However Heeseung always talked with you about finishing your studies first before committing your relationship on that instance, so you could have your freedom without him disrupting your focus; he also knew that he wasn’t ready to have you so close for that long, afraid of scaring you off by how much he would be around you, maybe losing his own concentration on his work. 
And this behavior was being shown at that moment, by you doing the lunch and him hugging you from behind.
“I have to be honest, I don’t really see this as ‘helping’, Hee,” you said with a playful chuckle, not really bothered by his big hands resting on your hips as well as his chin on your shoulder while you did all the work. He was clinging like a koala, making it challenging to move around the kitchen.
“What do you mean? I’m clearly helping you,” he said with a babyish voice, making you giggle. You could tell he was pouting too. “What if you get hurt? I have to be close, y’know? To save you from danger.”
You laughed hard, throwing your head behind and profusely resting it on his chest. “The danger?”
“Yeah, the knife and fire and stuff…” He explained like it was obvious.
You turned down the heat on the stove, moving away from it so you could face your boyfriend, just to meet his big, adorable eyes looking at you with a dramatically pleading expression. “You’re right,” you said softly, cupping his cheeks and planting a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for protecting me from the dangers of my kitchen,” you added a hint of sarcasm to your very affectionate tone, without holding your smile when he nodded proudly, before pulling you closer to kiss you properly as now your self-proclaimed hero. 
After you finished cooking – with Heeseung’s help, of course –, you both shared the meal, doing constant “love shots” but with your food, just so you could feel each other’s touch.
Heeseung didn’t let you go back to work on your project when you finished eating, saying you needed a bit of resting time with him. And how could you oppose such truthful words? 
So you spend quite a long time of your Saturday afternoon embraced in Heeseung’s arms and scent all over you, making it difficult to choose anything different from being on the bed cuddling him. 
After changing positions many times, you now were on top of Heeseung, face buried on his neck while he hummed some random song, hands gently caressing your back and scalp, making you wonder if taking a quick nap at that moment would mess up too much with your project work.
As if a sense of responsibility hit you, remembering all your deadlines and especially that you had to finish at least the plot writing by Monday – in two days –, you forced yourself to try to move away. Your body refused, though.
“I should go,” you said, muffed into his skin.
“Yeah, you should…” Heeseung added, not moving an inch to help you with that. In fact, he held you closer. Your warm body against his own helping him to relax. 
“Like, reeeally gotta go…” You didn’t move as well, trailing kisses all over his neck as you refused to get up.
“Definitely you do…” His voice was a bit raspy in a sweet, tender way that made it even harder for you to leave. He was about to fall asleep.
You sighed, “I missed being like this with you.” You lifted your head just enough to see his serene expression; eyes closed, lips slightly parted and a calm breathing. You almost cried with the fact that you truly needed to go back to your life instead of staying there with Heeseung. 
Your hands caressed his face with all the care in the world, making him open his eyes, “I missed it too, pretty. I miss you every moment I’m without you, actually.”
You noticed a soft flush  on Heeseung cheeks and giggled at the sight of your ‘so cool’ boyfriend blushing in front of you. 
You always appreciated how Heeseung was not only a good listener to your worries and maybe overwhelming thoughts, but also unafraid to show you his most sensitive and vulnerable side in order to make you comfortable on doing the same. You cherished his presence in your life with all you had, not being scared of loving him so openly, because he did the same for you. 
“I love you,” you whispered, leaning in to tease a kiss. He smiled against your lips, closing his eyes again.
“I love you too, my love,” he murmured, mirroring your tone and capturing your bottom lip with his own, to pull you near and finally kiss you. 
You decided to stay for a bit longer, because Heeseung’s hands roaming your body with such care and tenderness, his sweet mouth working on yours, and his loving whispers against your skin were too irresistible.
The best excuse you found for yourself was that you were revitalizing so you could work better, your creativity would flow easily and you would finish it in no time.
And, well, he would be around you anyway, because he just couldn’t never get enough of your pretty face, or your joyful presence, or your addicting warm touches.
After all, Heeseung always worked as a recharger to your love battery, and for him, you were no different.
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lavendermunson · 1 year ago
Text
dancing with our hands tied — eddie munson
୨ৎ ˙ ˖
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summary Eddie seems to live in constant hell except when he is with you.
tags +18. eventual smut. friends to best friends to lovers. angst. pining. no upside down. slight chrissy x eddie and jealous reader. fingering. p in v without protection; be smart irl. no use of y/n, eddie calls reader peach. lose of virginity.
tw eddie has an older brother who punches him. slight mentions of blood and violence. alcohol. mention of drugs. if i forgot anything lmk!
w.c 7.6 k
a/n hey people! it’s the first time i write something like this. the fic is divided in tiny chapters that are titled by the lines of taylor’s song (see title) i hope it’s easy to understand and let me know if you like the format ♡ enjoy!
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I. First sight, we love without reason.
It came to you as a surprise, really. The moment he sat down on the nearest seat to start the tutoring lesson. The secret is Eddie has always been good at English, it’s a thing among others that he kept as a secret. You weren’t sure why he would hide it, even lie about it.
You and Eddie became friends easily. But you wish the relationship had more meaning, you weren’t friends just school friends. The worst kind of friend you could be with someone as cool and pretty as Eddie.
One day, in the early morning of a cloudy Thursday Eddie attended school with a black eye. He rushed past you mumbling a kind Hey and going his way. You said hi back but it was too late, he was gone.
You missed him the rest of the day, he didn’t show up to class. His friends were alone at lunch. There was no sign of Eddie until later, tutoring sessions.
He slumps on the chair next to you, taking a deep breath and scratching his scalp nervously. His hands were shaking as he started to scribble on your textbook.
Your mind wasn’t focused on the textbook once, you looked longingly at the maroon-tinted bruise on his eye. A cut, maybe 12 hours old, rested on the bridge of his nose.
“Sorry if I’m interrupting” you whispered “I can’t keep my eyes off…your… are you okay, Eddie?” you pointed your finger at his eye, and he turned his head to look at you.
“Yeah, no don’t worry” he sighs, shifting uncomfortably in the wooden chair and taking a deep look at your face.
Your mouth has formed a pout and your brows are furrowed, Eddie tried to read your mind and he succeeded. You were worried.
“My stupid older brother, he comes in unexpectedly, and when I tried to kick him out of the trailer he punched me”
“Oh, I’m so sorry Eddie” You lean your head to the side, his face looks better from this angle.
He looks tired, the punch looks like it hurts a lot, more if it came from a person of his own bloodline.
“You know what, we can study another time and you can go rest” Your hands are quick to close the textbook, gathering all your stuff as Eddie’s body comes closer to you.
He takes your wrist on his hand, with a little more pressure than intended. When your mouth leans to the side he realizes he is hurting you (not too much, but still he didn’t mean it).
“No, I'm sorry” he drops your hand on your lap, delicately “We can study, I'm fine. Please I need the money”
“I know, I will pay you. But I can’t sit here and I can't focus knowing you are in pain or your mind is somewhere else” You smile at him, and he nods.
“Thanks…I'm having a really bad day. I cannot thank you enough, tomorrow we can study double I promise”
“Don’t worry, I got you” You head out of the library beside him “Take care of that, it looks like it’s going to stay there for a while”
He giggles at your comment, you are not sure why. You pay him for today and he smiles at you.
“Thank you, Peach”
He didn’t talk about his family much, he wasn’t entirely sure if there was something interesting to talk about. His mom left a few years ago, along with his older brother, leaving little Eddie and Uncle Wayne alone.
You knew Wayne from one of Eddie’s stories he told you about. He loves the man like he is his own father, but he is in a lot of debt with him.
Wayne takes care of Eddie as if he’s his own child. He surely loves Eddie like that. He works most of the day and night leaving his nephew alone in the trailer park.
One of those cold and lonely nights Eddie’s brother came to visit him at the trailer park only seeking some money. He was out of luck, and so was Eddie, when his furious brother came in and punched him in the face. Not once, but twice.
Eddie’s head and face hurt the rest of the night. He unfortunately overslept and didn’t get a chance to start school properly so he chose to show up just to the tutoring sessions. He needed the cash, you needed help.
II. Picture of your face in an invisible locket.
A week has passed since Eddie’s brother came to town. You’ve grown closer to Eddie than before.
You hang out after school now that tutoring lessons are over, he invites you to Hellfire Club to watch the campaigns and you sit there watching the whole thing unravel. He had a great imagination, and a wonderful mind full of creative stories and riddles. The kids enjoy his company as much as you do.
He talked about his problems at home with you, trying to get the ugly feeling out of his chest. You listened to him buying him a cup of ice cream and enjoying the wonderful summer breeze.
“I enjoy being with you,” he said “You are a great friend, Peach”
You smiled at him. He smiled at you. His dimples showed up for the first time since you’ve known him, a simple gesture that knocked some sense on you, you had a crush on him.
“Me too, Eds”
Your relationship with Eddie has evolved, not only do you have pet names for each other but it seems like you are best friends. It’s been some weeks since the first time he offered to tutor you and you accepted immediately.
You’ve always liked Eddie, he is his true self every time and he is proud of it.
You admire it.
People at school used to call him awful names, it was always like that until he met Chrissy. The popular kids are the ones that make more fun of him as if it wasn’t exhausting for them to be assholes and jerks nine hours a day. They have toned their jokes down knowing that the queen of Hawkins has a soft place for Eddie and he is more than happy hanging out with her sometimes.
That made your heart ache, it was a dreadful feeling.
After spending some time with Eddie you went home. Still under that lavender haze of accepting that you had a crush on him for a while. It was embarrassing to you only because you were so, so obsessed with him.
His face. His hands. His scent. His hair. Realizing everything about him made you crazy was scary, he only had eyes for one person who was the most perfect cheerleader in the history of high school.
To distract your mind from all the lousy thoughts you took a shower, it was quick, you needed to brush off the sweat and release some tension with a thorough massage on your scalp. The lavender shampoo lingered in the air, relaxing every inch of your body.
After the shower, it was time to eat some dinner. Instead of making a complicated meal you decided to heat some leftovers from yesterday and enjoy your evening eating and dancing in the kitchen with some of your old records playing upbeat songs to cheer you up.
A knock on your door makes you jump after finishing dinner. No one used to come by at this hour, not when your dad was out of town.
You get close to the door and look through the peephole to see who’s interrupting your godly moment. It was Eddie.
A gasp falls out of your mouth and you open the door as quickly as possible. You meet Eddie’s trembling body standing in front of you, his lip is bleeding and his eyes are watering.
“God, Eds…” you whisper, he leans closer to you, wrapping his hands around your neck and hugging you.
You didn’t say anything else, just mirrored his movements and wrapped his waist with your arms. Taking a few steps back and leading him in, you close the door with your foot and he stands there, still not letting you go.
You rub his back as he tries to ease his breath.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know where else to go so I-” he takes a step back breaking contact with you, his head falls as his eyes look at his feet.
“He, he did this to you again?” he broke contact so fast you decided to stay in your place, careful not to overwhelm him with unwanted touches.
“Yeah, shit shit, sorry I should've called. My mind sort of blacked out and the only thing I could remember was your street and the color of your house, the one with the weird birdhouse…”
“Eds, it’s okay” you interrupt “Let me help you, alright? let me clean your wound and make you some hot chocolate”
He nods, walking with you to the bathroom and past your bedroom. You are quick to find the first aid kit, taking some rubbing alcohol and gauze to clean Eddie’s cut. He hisses at the stingy feeling in his mouth, you apologize and he encourages you to continue.
And there you are, with the boy that you like so much. He leans on the counter closing his eyes and allowing himself to feel at peace with you around him.
You stand between his legs, his inner thighs rubbing the exposed skin of your thighs. The ungodly thoughts need to go away so you blink pretty fast, focusing, it’s not the moment nor the place nor the person.
You finish up cleaning his wound and placing a band aid over it to avoid any sort of discomfort while it heals.
“It’s ready” Eddie opens his eyes, finding you in front of him. So close. The white light in the bathroom makes you look like an angel.
“Thank you, peach” he squeezes your cheek slightly. Neither of you move from where you stand, so close to each other but so far at the same time.
“It’s nothing, let’s make you some chocolate”
“Wait, I'm not really hungry. I need to clear my mind and feel at peace for a bit, ‘m just gonna go back to my place to rest but again… thank you” he stands up straight and you step back, missing the heat of his body.
“No! you can’t go back, it's dangerous. My dad is out of town, you can stay here”
His head leans down to one side, he looks at you concerned.
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course. Anything for my best friend” you say. It’s the first time you call him like that. It’s the first time anybody has called him like that.
“Thank you, again, thank you”
“No problem, let me get you some fresh clothes”
You get Eddie some of your oversized clothes that only get out of your closet on rainy days. You give him some space to change and freshen up in the bathroom, getting him a new toothbrush and a towel so he can wash his face.
When he gets out you offer him the guest room, he immediately denies it and asks if he can sleep with you. You shake your head and show him a gentle smile.
“Is this okay? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or bother you” he asks while you get the bed ready to sleep.
“It’s okay, Eds. I get that you don’t want to be alone, do not worry”
You get in bed, he drops his body beside you. Both of you rest your head on the pillows while looking at the ceiling.
“You can stay here in the morning if you don’t want to go to school, I do have to go and hand in this paper I’ve been working on”
“Thank you, I owe you one,” he says, crossing his arms in front of his chest and letting out a sigh.
“You don’t, I’m happy to help you” You look at him, but he doesn’t look back. “Goodnight, Eds”
“Goodnight, sweetheart”
The pet name falls from his lips so beautifully.
You close your eyes with a smile plastered on your face, aware that the heat of your cheeks is present leaving a pink tint.
You are thankful it’s dark and Eddie is about to fall asleep so he won’t notice.
When you fall asleep Eddie does too. It takes him a couple of seconds to get into a deep sleep, he hasn’t slept like this in weeks, all thanks to the torture of his stupid brother and the constant thought of him coming back to punch him.
He feels safe around you and he is more than grateful to be your friend.
III. ‘Cause it’s gravity, keeping you with me.
Eddie has been staying over at your house multiple times, Your dad is out of town and you appreciate the company, his company. Sometimes he comes with you right after school, other times after he hangs out with Chrissy. You are not sure of what kind of relationship they have but it still hurts your heart every time he laughs at something she says.
You are thankful for having him over. The nights consist of movies, old tv shows, watching the commercials on the tv, and listing in your head what to buy next for these reunions.
The last slice of pizza remains in the box, it should be cold and washy but
Eddie is fine with it. He watches you from the corner of his eye, your gaze glued to him.
“Sorry, did you want the last slice?” His voice snaps you out of your thoughts into reality.
“Huh? No, no you have it”
“Sure?”
“I hate it when the pizza is cold” Your mouth falls to the side, and you look at the slice with disgust.
“Bummer, I’ll have this baby for myself”
He raises his hand with the slice between his fingers, his head falls to the back and he takes a bite of the tip of the slice. You watch him in awe, not really thinking about how weird it is to watch Eddie eat, but your eyes can never leave his face. His mouth opens and his jaw tightens when he takes a bite, and another, and another until he finishes it.
“Don’t know why you pushed this aside, it was so good”
The corner of his mouth is full of tomato sauce and cheese grease, you laugh at him shaking your head.
“You have something… there” you point with your finger, Eddie furrows his brows and leans his head to the side looking like a confused puppy.
“Where? Here?” He wipes his mouth and smiles victorious, although it is the opposite side.
“No, here”
You get closer to him. His body is fully turned to the left so you sit in front of him kneeling.
He watches you getting close, he takes a deep breath as his Adam’s apple bobs as a result of his own nerves. You are too close, you’ve never been this close –just once when he hugged you – not even when you two are sleeping in your bed.
As you take the napkin to clean his face you get the opportunity to get closer, you wipe his mouth slowly and pinch his chin between your fingers. You breathe and he is mixing up, the room feels suddenly too hot.
Eddie wants to give in, he gets his head closer. He doesn't care about anything, just you. The only source of light is the TV which gives a shadow of multiple colors on your face, it’s adorable. Your body, your naked thighs, your pretty face so close. He is about to kiss you until you speak.
Shit.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot”
“How do you punch someone?” you ask, he shakes his head confused shaking off the thoughts he had earlier. He was so close to kissing you, but he couldn’t. You are his best friend.
“Wow,” Eddie laughs, grinning “Who do you want to punch, exactly?”
“I met someone”
Your news hit Eddie in the chest. He shouldn’t be feeling like this but he is… jealous?
“He told me to go to this party with him… and a friend told me I should be prepared for everything”
“Everything? Like if he wants to get in your pants you’d punch him?”
“Only if he is a real jerk and thinks he is too smart”
Eddie nods, he takes your hands in his standing up from the couch. You follow him.
“Alright, pay attention”
He drops one of your hands and takes your dominant hand in his, the cold rings on his fingers keep you from falling apart from his touch.
“The secret is in your hips and shoulders, that’s where the power comes from okay?”
“Yeah, but please don’t teach me how to kill someone. I just want to throw a little punch if needed”
“I know, peach” he laughs “Stand up like this” His stance looks professional, maybe he has done this before. Maybe to protect himself from his older brother.
“First things first, your stance gives you balance so you don’t fall to the floor and break your nose too y’know?”
“Am I going to break his nose?” you ask, a little scared of what you are getting yourself into.
“No! ‘M just saying. You don’t have a lot of strength to do that, don’t worry”
“Like this?” You mimic his stance, feeling a little awkward.
"Exactly. Now, focus on your fist” He hasn’t dropped your hand yet “Curl your fingers in, and tuck your thumb under them. This way, you won't hurt your hand when you punch”
“Why do I feel like I shouldn't be learning this?”
“You are fine, watch” Your hands form a perfect fist, Eddie holds it in his hands and tries to set you up on the perfect stance. Your knuckles turn a bit white as you focus on the lesson “See? Perfect”
“I got it”
"Now punch me,” he says, he is serious.
“What?”
“C’mon I’ve taken the worst punches, bet yours will feel light as a feather” he grins. Inside he feels dumb for aching your touch so much even if it means taking a hit “Twist your body and extend your arm in a straight line, then go straight to my cheek” his fingertip touches his cheek “Not my nose! Please” he remarks, but at the same time he is encouraging you.
“Alright,” you do as he says, swinging your arm back and forth. Your fist comes into contact with his cheek and he groans in pain, his head falls to one side.
“Jesus H. Christ!” he caresses his cheek with the palm of his hand “I underestimated you” A chuckle falls from his lips, and you are covering your mouth with your hands surprised. Your eyes are glassy.
“No, no don’t cry I’m fine”
“I’m so sorry Eddie. I thought- fuck, I didn’t see that coming! I am so fucking-sorry, sorry” you cry, your cheeks glow red as embarrassment washes over you.
“No, don’t” he is still laughing “Oh god, come here”
Eddie opens his arms and wraps them around your shoulders. This is the second time you hug him, and this time it feels different. One of his hands rubs your back to calm you down as you keep murmuring sorry. He keeps thinking you are the most adorable thing on the planet.
“Do we count this as tutoring? Am I getting cash for getting punched in the face?” he chuckles.
You bury your face in his chest, hugging his body tightly. He feels you trying to get closer.
“Yeah, yeah if you want”
“I'm joking, peach, you did good!”
You smile at the praise, although he can’t see it.
“Thank you for teaching me”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. It was a pleasure” he breaks the hug, and his hands come to rest on your arms. He is not giving up touching you “I hope whoever you punch… you do it harder than this one” he smiles.
As you watch his face, hypnotized, you smile back.
“I will, only if he is a jerk…”
“Or thinks he is too smart, gotcha” he interrupts, filling up the rest of the sentence “But you know if someone bothers you, you can call me and I will kick his ass right?”
“I’m a big girl, Eds. I can take care of myself”
“That I see! ‘M just offering, You did good honey” He pinches your cheek, and the new pet name hits right above your stomach where your anxiety rests. He has never called you that before, you feel the heat on your cheeks.
“We- uhm, we should sleep is getting late” You watch the clock, it is 3 am already.
“Oh shit, yeah. Let’s go”
IV. I’m a mess but i’m the mess that you wanted.
Watching Eddie kissing Chrissy was a punch on the tits. His hands are on her waist, she grabs his jacket getting closer. Their mouths were glued to each other. You were sure this was the night, this was the night you would tell Eddie your feelings, but instead, you decided to meet up with the guy you told him about. Ignoring your feelings for Eddie.
Nothing ever comes out as you wish, after punching the guy for trying to touch your ass after he didn’t even know you were in his math class, you punched him. Your hand hurts, but it was worth it.
You try to find Eddie but he isn’t around. Ignoring the feeling in your chest, you decide to fill the guilt and the secrets with alcohol.
After a lot of refills, the living room’s bottles are empty so you make your way around the house to find more. That’s when you find Eddie, you take your sixth? seventh? Cup of the night and walk to him.
“Eds!”
Your voice is like honey to him, he didn’t want to be here but as soon as Chrissy mentioned you were coming with “the guy” he wanted to be there. She was nowhere to be seen after spending some time with him.
“I did it! I punched him!” you mumble, proud of your achievement and so, so drunk.
“Fuck, I missed it?”
“Yeah, I have been looking for you everywhere to tell you” You lie, you’ve seen him multiple times and ignored him. It was a decision that sober you took. Drunk you is a little more insistent “I didn't think you were coming”
“Chrissy wanted to be here, I'm just keeping her company… was, she left” he looks around, but she is still somewhere else.
Her name rings in your ears, your stomach crumbles.
“Well, let’s get drunk!”
Deep down Eddie is grateful that the guy you were meeting up with fucked up everything and now you are with him. Chrissy is nowhere to be seen and you seem like you need someone to watch you. Take care of yourself.
You are so drunk, your whole body feels light and your head is in the clouds. Maybe you are a little bit high too.
“Can we find somewhere more quiet? I wanna smoke” Eddie finds himself screaming, the music getting louder with the minutes.
“Sure, let’s go”
You hold a red solo cup with something in it, enough to make you more tipsy. You follow Eddie outside, to the porch. The night is hot and Eddie realizes your dress is too short. He takes a deep breath, looking at your thighs as you take a sip from the cup.
Eddie lights a cigarette and takes a peek at the party from outside, The window leaves a space so the warm light of the house hits your face. The night at your house, the one when he almost kisses you comes back to his head. A side of your face lit up by the chaos inside, yet you look so peaceful, so beautiful.
“I need more of this. I- shit I forgot the n-name” you slur your words again, taking a step forward. Eddie takes your wrist in his hand, stopping you.
“What the fuuuuck?” you say.
“I think that’s enough for today, let’s go home”
Your whole body is on fire, all of your insides begging for more alcohol.
“Home? What? I didn’t know we lived together!”
“C’mon, peach. You know what I mean” Eddie’s cigarette bounces on his mouth, his voice is firm and his free hand comes to cup your waist.
“No, no. Let’s go dance here” You take his hand, the alcohol makes you bold. He follows you to the living room after dropping his cigarette.
The music is too loud, you empty the cup you had and throw it away.
“I’ll be right back, need to take a piss'” Eddie says, disappearing. You don’t hear him.
His “girlfriend” is still ignoring him, but he remembers what she said. She got mad because he was looking for you, and she got jealous too. Chrissy wanted all the attention but Eddie was giving it to you.
He stopped eating lunch with her, he was with you instead. Talking about random tv commercials that you thought were clever, it was some of an inside joke.
As he comes back from the bathroom he hears a crowd cheering, he is so done with this party, tired of the happy sappy music playing over and over, and the smell of sweat and alcohol makes him sick. He makes an effort to find you and he does.
There you are, standing on the table dancing. You were dancing, making some sexual moves that all the guys were screaming. Your hips move as the music gets to your ears, the whole room electrified by this little show.
Eddie’s face goes beet red, he can’t take this. He isn’t enjoying this.
Jealousy takes over him and he grabs your hand, yanking you down and letting you fall on his shoulder.
He carries you away from the table, a hand comes behind your back and he places his palm on your ass in an attempt to stop your dress from going up. You feel the cold of his rings again, your whole body lights up in anger as he carries you outside.
“Let me down! Eddie, I'm not joking!”
“Whine for as long as you want, I’m taking you home”
“Eddie please, I'm going to throw up”
He gives up, he lets you down and you pick up your breath. You place a hand on your belly trying to steady yourself and make the nausea go away.
“I need a moment… just give me a–”
“No! I know you will go back inside. You can’t even walk by yourself”
“Yes, I can! Don’t- don’t try to babysit me” you bicker.
He lets out a deep sigh, he is not letting you go back and you know it.
He wants to protect you, but more, he wants you to be with him and not dancing and showing off for anybody else. Yes, he was jealous and it was time to admit it. His feelings for Chrissy were never as intense as what he feels when he is with you.
“Sweetheart-”
“Don’t call me that!” you scream, his eyes open wide.
“Please just-”
He tries to hug you but you don’t let him.
“I'm not your sweetheart! The other day you called me like that too and I- what are you doing to me?”
“I don’t- fuck, what are you talking about?” Eddie is confused, you are acting like you don’t want him around, and that hurts him.
“I- I like you, Eddie! I fucking like you so bad but you… You don’t and I know it!” you have no time to breathe, the alcohol encourages you to confess your feelings.
“Peach-”
“No! No, I- I like you since that first day of tutoring… I’ve liked you since then and you don’t know how fucking hard it is to oh- sleep with you and you- almost fucking kissed me and I panicked. This, you, her- it’s too much ah- go away!” you cry out, your head is spinning and you can feel your temples aching.
This wasn’t planned, future you will kill you for this. But right now in the heat of the moment, you let Eddie know how you feel. Your whole body aches and your heart is shattered.
“I know you like her! Just- I don't want to talk to you right now!”
A salty taste lingers in your mouth, your tears. Your arms ache from the sudden cold breeze as the night gets darker. It’s maybe two or three in the morning. You are drunk and high. Eddie’s brain seems to stop working.
He is quiet, looking at the grass under his feet. It hurts seeing you like this.
“Fuck!” you turn around and start walking, thinking you can walk home from here knowing it’s impossible.
“Hey! Let me take you home”
You stop.
“Please, I won't stay. I’ll drop you off and go to my trailer- you can’t get home by yourself” he is right.
You don’t move. Too heartbroken to say everything else or even turn around to see him. You are ashamed, he can’t even look you in the eyes.
He sees you waiting for him and he asks you to follow him to his van.
The ride home is long and torturous. He didn’t reciprocate your feelings, but you don’t blame him. Who could fall for a mess like you?
You fall asleep in the passenger seat of his van, he opens the door carefully and carries you to your bed. He wants to change your clothes but he knows it is not okay, he does peek at your naked thighs before covering your body with the sheets.
His calloused fingers move the hair off your face “I like you too, peach” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss your forehead before leaving. You can’t hear him of course, he knows it damn well.
V. Deep fears that the world would divide us.
The last time you talked to Eddie was two weeks ago. He didn’t know how to talk to you since that night, he didn’t know what to tell you. It is now summer break, you are in your bed facing the ceiling and letting the air from your window hit your sweaty body.
You were so bored. Without Eddie it feels like the world just turned gray, you regret everything you said that night. He never should’ve known.
He is now in his trailer, maybe with Chrissy. Your brain starts to think of a hundred scenarios. They could be spending time at the local pool, going to starcourt and eating ice cream, trying on some new clothes, or playing at the arcade.
You miss him. Your whole body aches without him by your side. Your bed feels so empty.
Tears start rolling down your cheeks, you are all alone in this gigantic house. It doesn’t feel like home, not without him.
You can’t pick a book and read it to kill time because every book you own is about romance.
You can’t watch movies without Eddie’s sudden comments.
You can’t even watch fucking commercials without him.
So you just let yourself on your bed, waiting for the sheets to swallow you whole.
Night came by after a nap, it was time to close the windows to stop the mosquitoes. It was time to eat so you headed down to the kitchen, the leftovers seem to always keep you company.
You wish he came back. Knocking at your door and getting in. Kissing you.
It doesn’t happen. To you. But it can happen to him.
You take your keys in your hands and head down to the trailer park, it isn’t that late so you go by yourself. With your clammy hands tapping on the steering wheel and a feeling of uncertainty.
It takes you from ten to fifteen minutes to get there and you park your car close to Eddie’s trailer. You’ve given him a ride home before, you know where he lives.
As you get closer to his trailer you hear screams. The door of his trailer opens suddenly and makes you jump. A tall and slightly old man comes out of the trailer, his white tank top is covered with some blood.
No, no, no. You mumble under your breath and run to the trailer. You find Eddie with a cut on his lip, his eye is purple already and his nose is bleeding.
“Eddie?” you whisper, he panics.
“No, no you can’t be here” he gets up from the floor and places his hands on your arms, pushing you out.
“Why? Please I just want to talk”
“You can’t be here! He- if he does something to you I’m never going to forgive myself Please just leave” his breath quickens, and his chest rises up and down. He is nervous, he is scared. The feelings are contagious.
“Come with me, please. Eds-”
“Just fucking leave! please please please, leave right now”
Nothing you do is going to convince him you should stay, as much as you want to. You hear screams of an angry man getting close to the trailer.
Running out back to your car and driving home, the radio becomes an annoying background noise screeching. Your heart is beating so fast out of fear, and your hands are trembling.
You set yourself down on your bed once you get home. You are scared of what could happen to Eddie. You know he is in danger and you also know he doesn’t want to see you.
The tears come back, your eyes are blurry and the walls feel like they are closing in and are about to crush you. You cover yourself with the sheets, as some type of protection, just like when you were little and scared. Yes, you are scared now, so fucking scared. But there is nothing you can do now so you sleep, and you fall asleep crying, again.
VI. I'd kiss you as the lights went out.
The next day goes by quickly, it’s currently midnight and you are sitting in front of the tv watching a random documentary about dolphins. You’ve slept all day so sleep is not an option. A huge bucket of ice cream in your hands gives you a cold feeling of serenity.
A knock on the door makes you jump, the thing you’ve been waiting for.
You open it quickly, and Eddie is there. You look at him with sadness in your eyes, some of his wounds have healed since yesterday.
“Before you say anything… I am sorry, sweetheart” You don’t let him in, and he doesn’t take a step forward “I like you too. I like you so much. I tried to date Chrissy because I thought I could get my mind distracted by the fact that I'm crazy for you. "He licks his lips, he moves his hands in the air as he always does when he explains something or rambles about a thing he loves.
“I was scared to tell you, that night at the party I swear all I could think about was- fuck, I wanted to rip those clothes off of you and kiss every part of your body but I was fucking terrified” his chest rises up and down, his heart is bumping in his ribcage. “I didn’t want to say anything because 
I didn’t want to lose you, You are too good to me and I didn’t want you to be with someone like me-”
“You don’t get to make that choice for me” you interrupt, your own heart is beating so fast it could burst.
“I know, I know. That’s why I'm here… is it too late to hang out? Look, I slept all day and some little bird named Steve told me the sunrise at Lovers Lake looks awesome and I really just want to be with you” 
You look at him, he is standing at your door confessing his love to you and, weirdly, it doesn’t feel like a dream. It all feels too real, too peaceful.
“A date at midnight? Did you plan this because you look like you even showered”
He lets out a big laugh. You see those dimples you love so much.
“I- I wouldn’t see it as a date because I think we’ve had tons of them” he shakes his head, and his curls bounce with the movement. “Pretty please? Join me on this adventure”
“We must be connected by some kind of thread because I slept all day too” you chuckle, he laughs with you “Sure, I want to be with you. Let me change and I’ll be right back”
You head upstairs quickly as Eddie goes back to his van for something. 
With the quickest movements in the world, you manage to get yourself some pretty clothes, a tiny bit of makeup and fix your hair.
Running to the first floor to meet Eddie, your legs stop working as he stands up in your living room with a bouquet.
“You did have this prepared” You are smiling so wide your cheeks start to hurt, but you can stop it. After days of missing him, he is now here and everything feels right.
“I did. You look- you look beautiful” he looks at you from the bottom to the top, taking every detail of your figure. “I mean, you always look so beautiful I just-”
You come closer to him, he hands you the bouquet and you take it. 
“You are beautiful too, Eds”
Your fingers touch his cheeks, he feels the warmth and breathes in to take everything in. Your scent, your touch, the closeness. Your cheeks have a pink tint from blushing and it makes you look so pretty. He leans in and in a second, his lips are touching yours.
You gasp at the sudden feeling, your whole body electrifies. His hands come to rest on your lower back, keeping you close to him. Your hands travel to his shoulders as you stand on your tippy toes.
His lips trap your bottom lip, sucking in your taste. Your whole heart flutters as your head goes back to catch some air.
“I wanted to do that for so long” 
Goosebumps travel from your arms to your lips, missing him already.
“Me too” you bite your lip.
“C’mon, let’s go watch the sunrise sweetheart”
VII. Deep blue but you painted me golden.
The trip to Lovers Lake in the middle of the night resulted in love confessions and a heavy make out session, Eddie packed the back of his van with christmas lights, sheets, and blankets along with some pillows. 
You and Eddie sitting in front of each other, his lips crashing into yours as sweet as honey.
“So yeah- that time when you sat down and started tutoring me I fought so hard to pay attention but I just loved the sound of your voice” You take a sip of beer.
“It was hard to teach you when your confused face is just so adorable. 
Every pout you gave me was a kiss I wanted to give you” Eddie laughs.
“You can give me all the kisses you want now, I'm all yours”
Eddie’s breath hitches in his throat, his face glows pink and you let out a chuckle.
“Honey, I will” he takes a sip from his own beer, finishing it.
Alcohol makes both of you giddy, dozy, and dumb. Or maybe it’s just the love you have for each other.
“What time is it?” you murmur against his lips, his hands travel from your waist to the back of your head.
“I have- no idea” he stops, with his head leaned slightly back he watches you. Your lips are puffy and pink, his too. Both of you have a maroon tint on your cheeks. “It’s almost six, we have time” he peeks at the clock on his left hand. 
“Alright, c’mere” With your hands placed on his shoulders, you try to get closer to him. 
You kiss him. He is addicted to your taste already. 
This time the kiss is messy and uncoordinated. His teeth collide with yours, saliva drops from the corner of your mouth. 
With a firm hand caressing your back, Eddie helps you fall back with your body pressed against the sheets. Your head rests on a pillow as he gets comfortable on top of you.
You can feel the van getting hotter, a cloud of passion and love around you. Eddie makes a quick move with his knee as it presses against your hot core. 
Absent-mindedly you start to grind against his knee, feeling the combination of friction with his sloppy kisses sending chills through your spine.
His lips now travel all the way to your neck, he presses sweet wet kisses against your skin.
“Eddie-” you whisper, letting the air out of your lungs. “I want you”
You have been dreaming about this, he has been dreaming about this. 
This moment. This very golden moment is going to live in your head forever.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?” he murmurs against your collarbone, his lips tingling your skin.
“I’m sure, please”
He takes a break from the kisses, looking at your sweet face. 
“Have you ever…?” he asks.
“No,” you bite your lip nervously.
“I’ll take care of you, I promise”
You nod, and he returns to kissing your neck. One of his hands travels to your thighs, he gives a slight massage on them making his way closer to the heat between your legs. 
His cock gets hard against his pants as he feels the wet spot between your legs.
“You are so soaking wet, peach-”
With both hands, he takes off your panties, gently. He is so gentle with you. 
“And so, so pretty”
Eddie starts to rub your clit with his thumb, his circular motions make your toes curl. It’s a sensation you’ve never felt before. With his mouth pressed against your jaw two of his fingers get inside you slowly, the pain of it quickly goes away and turns into lust. His fingers move in and out, making sure not to hurt you and make you feel good. 
Your back curls and your thigh touches the bulge on his pants. 
“Eds, please”
“What do you want, princess? Say it”
“I want you to fuck me”
Your voice makes his heart flutter. He leans in to kiss you more as he curls your fingers inside you. 
“Oh god, Ed-Eddie” you mewl, your head too giddy to make up words.
“Good girl” his voice is now deeper, and his pupils dilate as his body perks up with electricity.
His fingers leave your pussy, you whine and he tells you not to worry. 
He is gentle on taking your clothes off, smiling after admiring every inch of you. He wets his lips with his tongue admiring your figure.
“You are so fucking beautiful, princess”
“You too, baby”
The mood has clearly changed, you are still so horny and whining for each other. But Eddie has decided to take his time to make you feel like the princess you are.
Your hands help him take his clothes off, you admire his bare chest and your eyes focus on his tattoos. When he takes his pants and boxers off it is inevitable for you to take a look.
Your mouth waters at the sight. Eddie caresses your cheek and leaves small kisses on your lips as he goes inside you. You feel his hot cock 
inside you, it twitches as you stretch and leave out a louder moan.
A grin shows up on Eddie’s face as he thrusts into you. Your nails scratch his back slightly. He feels his skin burn.
“Feeling good?”
“Yes, god yes”
He groans at the same time he increases the speed. Your moans get louder and he kisses your neck again, his bare chest meets yours and you whimper. He is moving on top of you, his cock inside you, and his chest rubs your nipples.
The tiny knot in your stomach untangles as chills go down your spine. You moan as your orgasm comes to you.
“You are such a good girl, go on cum for me”
His words are sweet, he keeps praising you as you finally come. 
“So so good baby, I’m going to-”
He moves back but your hands are quick to tangle around his neck, not letting him leave.
“Do it, baby. Cum all over me”
Your encouraging words get into Eddie’s head, his thrust becomes sloppier as he relaxes and he comes into you as requested.
The hot sticky combination of cum slides down your legs as Eddie hugs you and pulls you to him to the side. His back is now pressed against the dirty sheets, your head falls in his chest.
He kisses your forehead and runs his hand through your back. 
The sun starts to show up. 
Eddie leans forward to open the back doors of his van, he comes back to his place next to you as quickly as possible and hugs you harder.
The lake glows with a yellow tint, the water now shows a baby blue color. 
“I love you, sweetheart”
Surprised you turn your head to look at him, you give him a big smile.
“I love you too”
You stay there a couple of minutes, touching each other and loving each other.
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there it is! my little baby. feedback is appreciated REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! and DON’T throw a punch like it has been described!!!
tagging everyone who interacted, tysm 💕
@ali-r3n @witchwolflea @ghostlyfleur @littlegingerbat @live-love-be-unique @expiredcum21 @emma77645 @silent-stories @hellfirenacht @eddiemunson95 @tenthmoon
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robertdowneyjjr · 4 months ago
Text
tony stark doesn't die.
he burns, from the inside out. the infinity stones are too much for a regular human to handle, and the iron man suit could only do so much. so he burns.
human inventions aren't adequate enough to combat cosmic damages. super soldier blood transfusions do nothing. gamma infused hulk blood also has no effect. extremis is a lost cause.
the entire right side of his body barely functions anymore. and his face. oh god, his face. it's so damaged, so scarred, tony can barely look himself in the mirror anymore, let alone expect others to look at him without cringing away.
so he hides.
he builds new armor. gone are the flashy colors. no more red and gold. just plain old gunmetal grey. gone are the nanobots. no more skin-hugging technology. just cold hard planes of metal. back to unflinching, terror-inducing steel, like the suit he wore when he flew out of that cave over a decade ago.
he hardly ever takes it off. it's the only way he can get his body to just move. it's life support. it's a high-tech prosthesis.
but that's not enough.
he's just so ashamed. sure, he's saved the world. but while everyone else lives on, he's barely surviving. so he covers himself up the best he can. with the armor. then with a cloak, so he looks a little softer, a little more inviting. not that it matters, when he hardly lets anyone see him anymore.
he stops wearing red. he can't even look at that color anymore, when all it does is remind him of the day he couldn't just die.
what's the opposite of red?
he wears green instead.
people looked at iron man and saw hope.
now people look at anthony stark and see doom.
------
steve rogers doesn't die.
he lives a happy life, with the one who got away, and returns to his timeline knowing that he's fulfilled his lifelong dream and he can rest well knowing what it's like to grow old with the love of his life.
except that wasn't actually his dream.
he goes back to the future and finds out the man he's in love with is still alive, and if he plays his cards right, steve might just get to spend the rest of his life with tony.
but steve is old. and he's dying. the rest of his life could only last so long.
and tony doesn't even want to see him. tony doesn't want to see anyone.
so steve begs. he sends messages through friday. notes under the door. anything he can think of, he tries.
"please, give us a chance."
it takes longer than steve has time for, but he finally wears tony down. when tony opens the doors to the lab for steve, he hands over three vials filled with molten orange liquid.
"extremis. modified and enhanced trifold for a super soldier. it's a risk, but if it works, you'll have at least another fifty years left."
steve takes the risk.
his muscles come back. his wrinkles disappear. his hair darkens from white to gold.
steve picks up tony, armor and cloak and all, and spins him around in joy. he's so happy, he lights up from within.
literally, he lights up. his skin glows orange. he's dangerously hot to the touch. he breathes, and smoke escapes his mouth.
but becoming a human torch is a small price to pay if it means he gets to be with tony.
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