#but i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life !!!! id literally rather be dead than sit at a desk writing emails for 40 years !!!!!
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:^}
#nothing like talking to my mom to make me completely unravel and reconsider every one of my life choices 🫠#casual cry at work bc i dont know what to do with my life and i have no goals and i will never be well enough off to satisfy my mom looool#like i know shes scared bc we grew up super poor n she struggled to get where we are now massively but like#why do i need to make 200k to make her happy lol#like im making a decent salary at my full time job and i want to pursue more school so i can expand my horizons and look into diff careers#bc i find my job boring ! altho im very thankful for it !#but i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life !!!! id literally rather be dead than sit at a desk writing emails for 40 years !!!!!#i was talking to her about going back to my uni and making my minor into a major so i can get a secdon degree#since i already took the majority of the courses i can finish the second degree in 1 year ! i already planned out all the courses n stuff!#but shes like what do u want to do with that why are u wasting ur time doing things that wont put more money in ur pocket#im gonna be applying for my masters this year anyway so i was like might as well do something entertaining with the next year#get a degree out of it n all and then hopefully attend my masters program the next year ? like isnt that cool and impressive or whatever ?#its for my ego ! it makes me feel like im progressing rather than staying stagnant at my job i dont like !#but she just wants me to make more money lmao like i know moneys tight and its hard n everything#eugh#and shes like increasing the mortgage payments bc she qants to pay the house off asap but making our monthly bills cost more#so it always feels like were one step away from being in a hole we cant get ourselves out of#like why is my entire life focused on making money and supporting a famkly rn lmao im 25 and ive barely been able to live#i judt want to do soem things for myself ! make myself feel good about myself !!!#im sureounded by stem people with nice jobs and good degrees !! all these 22 year olds with masters under their belts and im stuck !!!!#boring and useless and havent lived up to any potential lol im so tired of my stupid inferiority complex i just want to feel like#an interesting and accomplished person like everyone expected me to be !!! especially myself !!!!#this fucking sucks#looking at law school applications again#might try to do an lsat in september or something ig#gommywords
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ppl wanna do so much moral apologetics for billionares existing and on the other hand a lot of important analysis of how they get that money in the first place and the unfairness and like. yea. but at a very basic level. like very basic level of morality
if i got a billion or more dropped in my lap tomorrow - lets say i win the lotto - i would actually feel like a complete piece of shit keeping it. like. ???? bc theres No Fuckin Way someone ever needs a billion in their life. first thing id do with it is give part of it away to friends and family so theyd get their shit taken care of and not have to worry. second id do is like buy myself a nice little property somehow maybe maximum two but like something nice and traditional and rather small and a horse and keep enough money to cover lifelong medical expenses, not having to work, and idk some extra money to do stuff in life (and not like insanely stupid unnecessary expensive stuff). and literally like. the rest of it id either outright donate, use to create something which helps ppl - so more of less donate - or invest it in causes i think could help humanity. idk like. rare medical disease research. feeding the poor idk anything???? saving nature?? anything???
like end of the day thats what i dont understand here. how at a moral level these people can go through life with Billions and not feel nothing about it. live their life in useless extravagance and luxury and over the top while people are starving,,,,,, how do these people go to sleep at night. how do they wake up. how does the guilt not eat at them. if god dropped a billion in my lap id say hallelujah for being so stupidly blessed, and then instantly remember that "a camle will go through the eye of a needle before a rich man enters heaven" phase, feel the burning gaze of gods eyes on me asking me what im gonna do with it, and give most of it away. i think id have a self-induced mental breakdown over guilt and selfishness if i didnt
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I've finally snapped
I am so fucking mad rn I literally hate his name so much that I'm not buying the pack immediately after release
I got so mad that I literally went on a rant about it during the Livestream and didn't pay attention to anything else they were showing. Like I blacked out entirely like idk what was going on in the pack I just blacked out and all I know was I ranted so hard that I spent my money on sonic x shadow generations instead even though I've never played a sonic game In my life and i dont know the controls
Ill figure out how to play, I already bought it out of rage because id rather spend my money on sonic x shadow generations than buy a pack with the worst retcon in history imo
I'll buy it when it's on sale for 20 because I was gonna buy because of nervous subject but the name change Upset me so much that I felt it wasn't worth 40 dollars it lost its worth to me they ruined my favorite character, they removed his nuerodivergent behaviors and trauma how dare they! He's supposed to be nuerodivergent, but they've made him the worst possible thing, nuerotypical...
You were doing so well Sims team than you blew it, I had the biggest meltdown over this that it killed all my excitement for this pack. I don't want it anymore sims team I don't wanna have to make pascal and his brothers younger every time I wanna date him. I hate this game for reconning my lore
Sims team Don't mess with Sims 2 lore challenge ( impossible)
I'm so angry man, I've gone on a rant again.. there I go blabbering about how they've ruined my comfort character, I'm just tired man. I just don't want my favorite things being tampered with, please don't tamper with my nervous subject, gp ahead destroy the bella goth mystery, make Agnes crumble bottom toxic and ruin her whole lore
At least I didn't care about them as much as I care about nervous subject and the curious brothers..
Like anything but those five ( including Tycho) don't mess with my boys, please sims team..
Nervous Subject will always be nervous subject.. I'm not accepting this change ever, especially since hes named something so stupid, could've been a death related name, but nooo his name literally means nothing i looked it up to see if it had meaning, it means literally nothing. Make sense the sims means nothing anymore.. I've finally snapped is this what you've wanted Sims team
You lose Sims team, I'm not buying this pack until it's on sale for 20 dollars
I was gonna buy at release for the picture of the spectre family, but since that's not my nervous subject, I don't want it anymore. I don't want that nervous subject.
I'm definitely still continuing with my spiderverse au, this just makes the spiderverse au look so much better considering how much better I could do with nervous for free than the Sims team can with billions of revenue.
Whoever named nervous that come out here, I just wanna talk.. I just wanna talk to them.. I just wanna talk to them *holds gun* I just wanna talk to them. I just wanna talk to them . I just wanna talk to them. I just wanna shoot em. I just wanna shoo- / not srs, but I mean it when I wanna ask why that name and how many better names there are than nylon or neon or whatever the fuck that name is..
Lemmie drop some names here
Osiris ( idc about the alien in the Sims Freeplay stfu)
Anubis
Obsidian
Nyx
Mysteria
Phantom
Xolotl
Moros
Mairon
Memento
Selene
Mort
Morvoren
All of those mean death, like at least choose a name that means death, nyon means literally nothing, its basically pointless.
Anything but nyon would've been better
I'm sorry that I'm going on and on and on about it but I'm so distressed idk what to do about it I'll stfu now but the rest of my feelings are in the tags
OKAY NYON SPECTER
#ts2#the sims 2#strangetown#simblr#ts2 premades#nervous subject#i wish I missed the stream#so i could be upset about this name before seeing the gameplay#maybe the gameplay would've been better if i simply hated the name before the gameplay#because everything else from the lense of hating the name ruined everything else for me#i genuinely couldn't enjoy anything else because of this name#thats how mentally unstable i am#like my whole day was ruined by a retconned name that can easily be changed in cas#but its the fact id have to change it every single time that upsets me#i make new saves often#so like this'll be absolutely annoying for me
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T.H| My Mortal Enemy
Summary: you really dont wanna dance with him
Warnings: uhhh language per usual other then that idk-
A/n: I actually wanted to create a series with princess!reader but i wasnt sure.
A LOVE TRIANGLEEEEE OMFGGGGG prince!tom x princess!reader x timothee chalamet
“Y/n suck it up” “suck what up?” “Your stomach” you took a deep breath in and grunted when she pulled thhe strings of the corset.
“Fuck you” you sighed, holding onto your stomach while she laughed “you have to dance with him, theres no way around it” zendaya said, tying the strings together while you complained.
“Im not dancing with him! Ill just dance with timothee” you commented, wiping the sweat from your forehead before she grabbed the hoop skirt, telling you to step into it.
“You’re becoming queen and toms becoming king. There’s literally nothing you can fucking do” she muttered, picking it up and putting it on your hips, quickly closing it. “Im not happy with that”
“Honey please. Clearly” she glared at you, and you smacked your lips and raised your hands in the air, the detailed white skirt, small roses and small patterns, coming over your head and down ontop of the hoop skirt.
“Beautiful” she smiled, looking at you in the mirror while you stood there shoulders slumped. “I look like one of those creepy baby dolls”
She hit you in the back making you stand up straight “you wont get anywhere with that attitude, you go in there with confidence and your head held high. For tom..... i dont know what hes gonna do but dont let that ruin your mood”
“Thanks that means so much-“ “shut up” she ordered, eyeing you as you kept your lips sealed tight. She grabbed the heels and bended down on her knees, snatching your foot making you almost fall.
“You know i couldve had someone else doing this for me. You dont have to-“ “i need you to look your best, princess” she muttered, slipping the shoe on and doing the same with the other.
“Im not marrying that scoundrel, harrison” he said, his helpers helping him while harrison watched, laughing at him. “If you wont i will,” “shut up” “you dont even like her” “so?”
He stared at harrison with daggers, while harrison played with a smirk on his face. “It cant be that hard. Just a dance and youd never have to make contact again” timothee shrugged, swirling the ice in his glass.
“You dont know i feel towards her” tom whispered. “Well you obviously hate her, but shes the most beautiful woman in this palace, everyone thinks so!”
“Eh id rather marry zendaya” “zac will kick your ass” harrison said, “thats besides the point” “tom just be quiet” tim said and tom furrowed his eyebrows at him.
“You literally talk about her all the time. If you have such a problem let one of us dance with her” he offered. “Why would i do that?”
“Because you hate her!” They both shouted at him. “I-i dont hate her....i just have se negative feelings about her”
“Then why do you talk about her all the fuckin time?”
He didn’t know how to answer that. He didnt know if he loved you or hated you. It was whatever he felt in the moment.
And that left him with a sigh and a shrug “i dont know”
“You look absolutely stunning!” Zac said, his arm wrapped around zendaya while Had a smile in her face. “She thinks she looks like a doll, a creepy one”
“Welp that isnt gonna get you anywhere...” “exactly what i said!” “Can i please take off these heels?” You asked hopping on one foot to scratch the back of your ankle.
“Nooo! Come on!” Zendaya urged and you groaned, walking with them following behind you.
The ball room was.....beautiful. Fancy tables and chairs everywhere, the special table on the other end of the room for the king and queen.
The room was filled, cheers and glasses clanking, laughs leaving people lips. And then someone cleared there throat loudly, when you looked over it was your beloved mother, “the queen is here!”
She walked over, the room quiet as gasps left people lips, muttering things like “since when does y/n wear ball gowns” “she looks stunning” and things like that.
Her hand found yours and you did a small smile, letting her pull you wherever as zendaya and zac found thier table.
She pulled you to your fancy table. “Now y/n i need you to behave” “but maaaa!” “No excuses! Make everyone proud okay, i know that boy can be a handfull”
“How do i look?” He asked, running offly late. “I mean you arent trying to impress anyone-“ “you look great” tim cut harrison off, patting toms shoulder “so can we please leave”
And you sat there, bored, for once in your life time crossing a leg over the other and helping yourself with cherries while tom watched from afar, his mother walking him over.
“You look wonderful y/n, both of you do” she smiled, rubbing toms shoulder and looking at you. “Thank you ms. Holland”
“Please- call me niki. Were gonna be a family after all” she said, making tom roll his eyes and bite his lip, looking away then looking back. “Yeah we are” you smiled and like that it was only you two.
“I dont like you” “and what makes you think i do?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow while he crossed his arms “the least you can do is act like a gentleman, as far as anyone knows we are happy together” you said making him nod, sitting up and clearing his throat.
“Sooo.....wife” you cringed at his words but let him continue “how are we gonna do this?” You only shrugged “we can sleep in separate rooms or something” “sounds like a plan” he genuinely smiled at you, handing you another cherry as you squinted your eyes at him.
“I dont know if you poisoned this” you flicked it back at him, making him let out a small gasp before throwing it back “you arent worth my time, i would waste a dime trying to kill you” “i dont know if i should take that as a complement or not” your eyebrows furrowed and he sighed, looking away from you.
“You know, i dont know why they have such a problem with each other” harrison said to tim, currently at their own table, throwing grapes at one another and cracking jokes. “I dont think we’ll ever find out” he said in response, eating one of the grapes.
AnD iT WAs TiMe TO daNCE
The strong piano played, filling the halls as everyone watched you and tom.
You both maintained eye contact, his hand tight on the side of your waist as yours was tight on his shoulder, squeezing each others hand that was shared in each others.
“Im never doing this again” he whispered, basically nose to nose with you. “Do you think i want to?” You rolled your eyes. “I dont care if you want to! I just know im not doing this”
“Well grea-“ he dipped you and you almost gasped, frightened making tom silently chuckle before lifting you back up, now chest to chest.
“Your a fuck-face” you muttered. “You love it” he shrugged, “why are we doing this anyway”
“I dont know, why do you hate me?” He asked making your jaw drop. “Why do you hate me?!” You aggressively whispered.
“They look happy” zendaya said, zac, haz and tim all circled around the same table as they watched intently “ehhh” they all let out at the same time, in their own bubble, tim leaning back in the chair and Harrison slump with his legs open, zac resting his face on his knuckles as he silently blowed spit bubbles.
“I hate you because you hate me!” “I only hated you because you hated me!” “Bullshitttt” he bit his lip and you aggressively stomped on his foot with the edge of your heel.
He let out a small whimper and a fuck you making you have a smile on your face. “Dont cuss at me” “im pretty sure my foot is bleeding, fart face” “shut up” “but you literally called me a fuck face!”
“Shush!” He still whimpered in pain when he moved, “im sorry” you said, feeling guilty. He did a small smile “that isnt gonna make my foot better is it?”
“Well what the fuck do you want me to do! Kiss it?” “That wouldn’t be so bad” you groaned and looked away from him, to keep yourself from looking at him you easily pressed your head on his chest, making his breath hitch and his heart spead up, the piano relaxing a bit so you both moved slowly.
“Awwww” everyone said together making tom blush hard, your arms came up to circle his neck while his silently made its way to your waist. “Y/n why are you doing this?” He asked, whispering in your ear as you let out a small “i dont know”
“Well- can you n-not?" “Not what thomas?” “Be all bubbly with me!” You looked up at him with your eyebrow raised “im not being bubbly”
“Yes you are!” You sighed in response “but dont you feel better! Not everything has to be so negative” “well this is bluntly awkward” “well then stop making it awkward!”
“Yeah they are in love with each other” zac said, everyones eyebrows furrowed as they looked at you both, a different look and vibe coming from the both of you.
The piano slowly ended, you and tom panicked.
“Kiss me!” He ordered. “Why would i do that! We barely even get along!” “As far as they know we are a happy cuddle” he mocked your voice. “Im still not kissing you” “if you dont kiss me im gonna kiss you”
“Fine-“ “hurry up!” “You sound loke you really wanna kiss-“ before you could finish he pressed his lips on yours, his hand pulling you closer as his other hand came up to the side of your face, and SUPRISE you fucking kissed back!
Although you both you never would never admit it, you both loved the kiss.
Your lips where soft and to your suprise his lips werent chapped, his hands were gentle on your face as you also pulled him closer, your arms still circled around his neck.
Everyone at the tables jaw dropped, zendayas more but that didnt change the subject that you both kissed, and it looked like you both were gonna sit like that till end of time.
“No fucking way” haz muttered, looking at everyone else’s expressions and they were the same.
An audible noise came when you both pulled away. “That- that uh....wasnt s-so bad” he did a small awkward chuckle. “Yeah.... i uhhhhh”
“Uhhh” you both looked away from each other before tom pulled you back to your private table.
“Im still shocked” tim said, everyone agreeing as everyone else clapped for them. “So they just decided to love each other” zac shrugged, “yeah something like that”
After that whole thing was done, daya, tim, haz, and zac locked you all in toms bedroom for questions. “What is this about?” You asked, taking off your heels and getting undressed infront of everyone.
“You and tom” his eyebrows furrowed as he started to get undressed himself. “What about it?”
“Uhhh helllooo! Are we gonna act like that fucking kiss DIDNT happen?” Daya waved her hand in the air, before crossing her arms. You and tom silently looked at each other “it was his fault”
He smacked his lips and threw himself on his bed, throwing a tantrum, kicking air. “I thought we werent gonna tell anyone!”
“So you admit it!” Haz said, a wide smile on his face as he clapped his hands. “Zendaya the corset please” you said, she came over and undid it for you. “Can i have a shirt please?” You asked, looking back at tom and he nodded getting up, searching through his drawer.
“SINCE WHEN WERE YOU BOTH BUDDY BUDDY?” Tim said, and tom shrugged “I guess we just feel differently about each other”
“And it was because of that kiss wasn’t it?” Zac smiled while daya had a childish look on her face. “It’s happening! Give me my money!”
“You guys betted on us?” You asked, thanking tom when he handed you a shirt. “Wait wait wait wait, what the actual fuck. What in the fucks is going in here because this is confusing!” Haz said, getting a headache “i swear if that kiss never happened they would be ripping each others head off”
“Zendaya more loose please!” You said and she eyed you, “help her tom” she said, crossing her arms. “Uhhh...okay” he shrugged, walking over to loosen it more.
“HUH?” Everyone shouted, watching as he loosened it and then made you turn around to loosen the front. “Somethings not clicking-“ “no because this isnt adding up”
You put the shirt over your head and pulled the corset off of you under your shirt, he helped with the hoop skirt since you already took off the actual skirt.
“Im really confused” zac said, sighing as everyone who betted gave zendaya 100 bucks, including him.
“We all are, zac” tim muttered, crossing his arms as he watched you both communicate. “Tom when your done lets talk!”
And timothee and tom went outside of the room, tom leaning against the wall as he waited for him to speak. “Youre only doing this because we said something about her, right?”
“I dont know what you’re talking about, timothee” “yes you do. Youre only doing this because you know i have feelings for her” “I actually didnt know that but okay”
“Yes the fuck you did” tim pushed him, toms eyebrows furrowed as he pushed him back. “No i didnt” tim pushed him to the floor, a large thud heard making you all whip your heads to the door, hearing a punch made you walk slowly to the door.
“You knew i had feelings for her and you took her away from me, you dont even like her!” “What?” You whispered, looking over at zendaya before they all rushed to the door, ear hustling.
Tom tackled him to the ground, aggressive punches thrown at his face until tim rolled both of them over, now his turn. “I hate you! You were never there for her! Made her mad- sad- and everything that she doesnt fucking deserve!”
You decided it was time to come out, opening the door and telling them both to stop, Zac pulling tim off of tom and Harrison holding tom back.
Tom sent daggers at tim while tom did the same. “And now she likes you. Ive been working so fucking hard to win over her heart but you- you have to ruin everything” tim finished, pushing zac off of him before turning to you.
“I hope youre happy” he scoffed and walked passed, flipping tom off. “Wait!” You said, chasing after tim while tom looked back, jaw clenched as he watched you run off.
“Y/n leave me alone” “i just want to talk” you caught up to him, both of you power walking. “I never knew you had feelings for me timothee! If you would’ve told me sooner I would’ve never done the thing i did today” you said, looking at him while he still looked ahead, before he looked at you.
“Im not mad at you y/n. He-he knew that i had feelings for you and he took advantage of it, i-i” he sighed and you pulled him into a hug, “im sorry”
I dead ass dont know if i should do a part 2 or not. THIS IS WHY I SAID I WANTED TO MAKE A SERIES- IM SO MAD AT MYSELF-
#tom holland x reader#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#tom holland x black!reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland au#tom holland blurb#timothee x reader
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Hey jen first off congrats on your new tshirt lol but also, do you know of any lesbians that truly didn’t realize they were gay or different until they were much older? i didnt realize I might be gay until I was 19 and even then, there was SEVERE self doubt cus I was well aware how my abusive father had and continues to completely warp and destroy how I view, trusted (i didnt and still dont) and interacted (i didnt and still dont) with cishetero men. Like I’m scared my sexuality is just a massive trauma response. Growing up I had a lot of what i thought were crushes on guys but a lot of times the ‘crushes’ were just me wanting to get their attention and be their friend. I did have a few “romantic” ones but again those men were completely unattainable and theres was no chance we’d ever date or that they’d ever pay me any attention and i...................took comfort in that. it wasnt until I was 19 that i had my first crush (or first that i was aware of) on a girl, but she was straight. and It wasnt until I got my first crush on another lesbian, at age 22 (im 26 now) that it truly smacked me in the face - I was literally losing sleep over this girl, I could barely hold a conversation without blushing and stuttering, hearing her voice or seeing her walk by made my stomach perform a simone biles floor routine, but when she smiled at or complimented me id be smiling goofily for the rest of the day. Then i found out she had a gf and my heart dropped to my ass and while I hate to admit it, i felt the petty jealousy and envy bubbling up to the surface (but i absolutely never acted on it cus i knew the feelings were irrational and silly). Like I felt like I was back in middle school and like.......a guy has NEVER brought that intensity of emotions out of me. The first time I slept with a woman I loved it, and continue to love it and i know this paragraph is painting a massive picture of “yes you fucking idiot you are gay” but when i talk to or hear stories from other lesbians, I can never relate or align to that feeling of “knowing I was different since I was young”, I had 0 clue up until my 20s. that paired with my upbringing, plus smaller traumas here and there also centered around men..........like im truly scared that the day i fully heal is the day I’m gonna realize my sexuality is a lie. and its a big reason (besides mental and emotional instability) i avoid relationships even though i want one cus i dont wanna put another girl through hell just cus i cant figure MY shit out you know? Like this sounds so childish but I wish there was like an entrance exam or something that you can take and itll give you some type of definitive answer like: “yes youre gay”, “nope straight”, “maybe? need more info/experience” or “pls for the love of god go to therapy”
Ok.. first. yeah.. therapy can be great.. even for healthy, well adjusted people.
BUT:
Once of the reasons I didn't know "what" i was is because I had no exposure to role models that looked like me. No one to show me what life might look like besides what I saw with my mom and dad, the neighbors mom and dad, my uncles and aunts.. the man woman kids model. I had no words or word for my experience and not really any idea there was any option.
I knew was different especially once puberty hit, there was just no way for me to know how I was different or to know I wouldn't outgrow the "phase".
I always say, it is not necessary for any of us to have intimacy or sex with someone in order to have that "awakening" of our sexuality and I believe that. However, sometimes that little touch, kiss, tingly feeling can push us more towards our admitting it to ourselves sooner rather than later.
We all have different reasons to be unsure. In a neutral world it wouldn't matter, we would be attracted to whomever we are attracted to and that would be that. BUT the world is not neutral and figuring out out sexual orientation is important because it helps us fine our "safe" community in an often hostile world. Sadly that means we have to sort out our feelings, our experiences, social media and media and lots of lies and inconsistencies to separate that from for our innate sexual attraction. It is not always clear what is attraction, true passion and what is imposed upon us from outside pressure.
We all have different reasons to be unsure. In a neutral world it wouldn't matter, we would be attracted to whomever we are attracted to and that would be that. BUT the world is not neutral and figuring out out sexual orientation is important because it helps us fine our "safe" community in an often hostile world. Sadly that means we have to sort out our feelings, our experiences, social media and media and lots of lies and inconsistencies to separate that from for our innate sexual attraction. It is not always clear what is attraction, true passion and what is imposed upon us from outside pressure.
The good news is there is no time line and no shame in being wrong. Our innate sexuality does not change but our understanding of it does as we gain experience and get to know ourselves. Follow your heart. Do not date for others, date for yourself. You don’t need to know for sure to enjoy figuring it out.
I can also tell you that I know lesbians my age who married men, had kids and had okay lives. It never occurred to them they were lesbians... then small things crept in. They realized what they thought was love was friendship. What they thought was passion was going through the motions. Then, one day, they met other lesbians, saw other lesbians and realized they had mistaken “finding a nice man” for love. and attraction.
Don’t worry about the opinions of others. They don’t have any right to judge you or your past or your dating life. You are allowed to be wrong and to reevaluate yourself. I have a feeling that once you allow yourself to trust yourself you will figure things out much faster.
When you are ready to date you will not be too much for the right woman. Somehow all those things you think will be too hard for another will not be for someone with whom you click. It is also okay to not be ready to date. To take time for yourself.
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"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗜𝗜"
-> headcanons, how they tell you they love you for the first time, part two!
characters: sakusa, iwaizumi, x fem!reader
warnings: fem reader, ✨healthy relationships✨, oikawa being oikawa
wc: 3.6K
a/n: WOAH okay uh did NOT expect that last set to be that popular,,,, y'all thirsty for love huh? me too anyway i thought id do a part two since i honestly really enjoyed writing the first set and my brain is vibrating with ✨thoughts✨ and seeing how much love it got really made me feel how i haven't felt in so long, so thank you! maybe ill turn this into a series so lemme know if u wanna see someone specific👀👀😏 also sorry for like posting and then dipping again lmao thats just my social media brand i have the attention span of a fucking worm
read part 1 here!
Sakusa Kiyoomi
okok i know its like common for sakusa to be shown as not interested in PDA (in private or public) unless hes feeling "needy"
BUT i believe that after a few weeks, maybe months if he's still unsure, he would definitely be much more comfortable with PDA
like, if its been a long time and your both serious about it and not just in a relationship to be in a relationship he starts to notice your routine
he notices the changes you make so that he's comfortable and so that you can be close to him without him being worried about icky yicky germy wormys (someone take away my thought privileges)
so now that he knows that you take care of your hygiene and exactly what you do for it, slowly he's wrapping an arm around you in 30° heat while you're both sweating
slowly he's "forgetting" his mask in the car for dates
slowly, but surely, he understands that a little bit of exposure, isn't a bad thing.
"kiyoomi?" your voice brought sakusa's eyes to yours where he could see the concern behind them.
"are you okay y/n?"
you'd decided, after three weeks of intense training and barely seeing your boyfriend, that you wanted just one day and one night with him. just the two of you, you know he'd never admit it, but he needed a break.
after atsumu decided to try out some new plays that didn't start off to well, sakusa had been silently groaning everytime he had to reach for something. he was excellent at making sure he wasn't overworking himself, and he wasn't, its just that the human body is an absolute wonder, and not in a good way. sometimes things that should have mildly injured you, left you with a tiny scrape, or a bruise or a very quick-to-fade red mark, and sometimes you drop a phone on your face and break your fucking jaw.
you offer him a gentle smile that completely washes away the concern in your eyes.
"im fine omi! but you," you reach your hands up to rest on both sides of his face turning his head side to side, studying it intensly.
"you're looking a little pale. and possibly grey."
"how do you mean y/n-chan?"
for such an intelligent man sometimes he really could be a himbo.
"i mean that i think you might be sick, baby."
sakusa stared blankly at you, as if he couldn't fathom the possibility of 'himself, sick?'
"omi? kiyoomi!" you nabbed his attention, "i think you're sick, and we best go home."
"but-" he started, but you were quick to cut him off knowing exactly what he was about to say.
"kiyoomi, it's inevitable. even if you were the worlds most decked out with ppe, and the worlds leading force in hygeine, you'd still end up catching a cold at least once. that's just how the world works baby. and don't worry about the date, all i want is to spend some time with you."
you ended up practically dragging your sad little puppy of a boyfriend back up the complex stairs and into his unit before settling him on the couch and getting to work.
"ill get you some water, you just sit here and relax. i don't want to think about what would happen if those dumbasses didnt have you there next week, bokuto and hinata would probably crack their skulls!" your attempt at a little light hearted humour helped sakusa forget for a moment, but he was quick to go back to not understanding how he was sick.
"thank you." he took the glass from your hand and rested it between his legs, when he noticed the rubber gloves you had clutched at your side. he knew what they were for, those were his cleaning gloves.
"what are you doing? you can't stay you'll..." he paused. "you'll get sick too."
"i'll be fine omi-omi! you just relax and drink lots of water, ill take care of this." you turned towards the wall with a soft smile before muttering, "ill take care of you."
sakusa watched you clean, the bucket full of diluted bleach, the duster, a cloth, and his cleaning gloves. he loved the way that they were too big for you, the way you kept having to pull them up every so often to keep them on. he loved the way that everytime he finished his glass of water, you were right there to fill it back up.
you don't even remember seeing, or hearing him lift himself from his spot on the couch and make his way over to where you were humming and covering the counters in the diluted solution. you felt a pair of big arms wrap around you, a chin on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.
"thank you, y/n. i love you."
thank god he caught a cold, or he might never have realized just how lucky he was.
Iwaizumi Hajime
family man
is a family man but not just ANY family man
yes, it's important to him that you like and respect his parents and vice versa
but its just slightly more important to him that you get along with his friends, his found family because im a SUCKER for the classic lilo n stitch trope
he knows that many people say that its his life and he doesn't need anyones approval etc.
but iwaizumi believes different, he believes that he doesn't need approval in the literal sense but rather approval through watching you interact with his friends and his family and how you do your best to learn about them and make time for them, even though you dont have to
and he thinks it's absolutely enthralling
the way your eyes light up when you see that book his mom has been talking about wanting to read and picking it up with no hesitation
how you're able to almost flawlessly keep up with issei and takahiro's antics while also making sure they don't go too far, something even iwaizumi struggles with
and most importantly, how effortlessly you connect with his childhood best friend.
there were many things that Iwaizumi Hajime enjoyed, volleyball, athletics, godzilla of course, spending time with three dumbasses (but he’ll never admit that) and a little while ago, he added you to that list.
you were so effortlessly able to connect with his team, his friends, and his family but most importantly, the way you were able to connect with Oikawa brought a smile to his face.
“oh, iwa-chan~, what are you admiring?” there he went again, Iwa thought, Tohru Oikawa’s dumb smirk and hyper awareness of his team, both on and off court. how he wated to head-butt him in the face. but, he showed restraint. after all, he wouldn’t want loserkawa to use you as a human shield from his head. so, he ignored the urge. but it passed as soon as he saw tohrus arm arond your shoulders, crossed feet and leaning on you ever so slightly while he took a few occasional swigs from his water.
and just like that, the incredible restraint vanished like morning mist.
you could practically see the steam coming off of his hot skin, and the vein popping out of his forehead, when you noticed what had him so heated. “trashykawa get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”
“excuse me!” he pouted, “my hands are clean and tailored! just like any responsible setters would be!” he stuck his lip out farther and gave you his irresistable puppy-dog eyes. “y/n-chan, i’m not filthy! am i?” he whined.
and, as the word suggests, his look was truly irresistable and you stumbled over your words. “n-no! of course not tohru!”
“see, iwa-chan! y-n thinks i’m squeaky clean!” his dumb smirk appeared again, and rather than continue with flirtykawas obvious games, Iwa opted for the less violen approach.
“don’t flatter yourself, dirtykawa. she’s just being nice.” he growled. “I’m done for the day, i have a project due. y-n.” he offered his hand to you like the gentleman he is not forcing you to take it, but the look in his eyes told you that he wanted you too.
“see you later, tohru!” you gave him a quick hug and intertwined your fingers with iwa’s.
now, technically, girls aren’t allowed in the boys locker room but since it’s after hours and just you and iwaizumi no one cared. to be fair though, literally no one knew except the team so, whatever you didn’t complain you got to watch yout ultra ripped boyfriend change. quality time. you thought, when you noticed him mid-change with his shirt over his head, resting on his arms. as any good girlfriend would, despite the devil on your shoulder, you came up behind him placing your hands on his seriously broad shoulders. taking notice of the tension, you started to work at the muscles. your care was quickly rewarded with a quiet sigh, and relaxed shoulders.
“hajime?” you continued rubbing at the tight fibers, “are you alright? you’re usually the one telling me im holding too much tension.” you giggled and he turned to face you placing one hand against the side of your face.
“hajime?” it came out shaky and worried.
“i’m okay,” he smiled “it’s just,” hesitation. he was never one to hesitate.
“i know i have no right to be but seeing oikawa so clingy with you it just, i dont know, it really gets to me i guess? he, just, he gets all the girls, all the attention, and i don’t want to-” you stopped him.
“sweetheart, it’s okay to be jealous or upset i’m not going to be angry, you have a right to your feelings. I understand how you feel, i never mean to flirt with him, if i ever have, i mean i don’t know, you know how bad of a flirt i am,” he chuckles at that. “it’s just that i know how important he is to you and you are so, so important to me and i want to be able to understand whats important to you, so you never have to choose between us, because that wouldn’t be fair. i love you, hajime iwaizumi, and everything about you.”
you expected him to be shocked, hell, he thought he would be shocked when or if you said it, but he wasn’t. and that’s exactly how he knew what to say next.
“i love you too, y/n l/n.” pressing a soft kiss against your lips.
“geez, it only took you two a century and forever.” someone snarked.
hajime chucked a towel at him “get out assykawa!” and he did, he bolted through the door laughing like the demon matchmaker he thought he was.
© sacchanwrites, 2021
do not repost, copy, or claim.
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#haikyu#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyu!!#haikyuu reader insert#haikyuu headcanons#iwazuimi#iwaizumi x y/n#hajime iwaizumi#iwa x reader#sakusa x y/n#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa x reader#hq iwaizumi#hq headcanons#hq anime#hq sakusa#hq fanfic
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Candy’s Regulars | 1
MASTERLIST
Teaser
Pairings: Camgirl!Reader X SVT
Constant Warnings: Group masturbations (sometimes), smut, use of toys, kink usage, language
Chapter Notes: This is the first official chapter of this series. I hope you’ll enjoy it and please don’t hesitate to leave feedback, good or not. Thank you for reading! The story will be in POV’s but it’ll be in third person limited (search it up), there will be no smut in this chapter, its more about you getting to know your lovely regulars more ;) That just means the next chapter will be filled to the brim with smut, also, Cheol has a hamster, enjoy that XD
Chapter Warnings: language
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Jeonghan’s POV
Jeonghan was in awe. He didn’t know what to do or how to act with the message invite that seemed to be mocking the scream he gave as he slammed his computer shut two minutes ago.
“Okay, Han. You can do this. It’s not that big a deal. Your favorite cammer sends you an invite to be in a group chat. Happens all the time.” He tried to hype himself, his shaking hand hovering the mouse over the accept button as he screams internally.
He gave a final sigh, pressing the right mouse button before squeezing his eyes shut. After a minute of having his eyes closed, he peeped one open, seeing the active chat that he was now a part of.
candy_princess: Oh good, Hanni is here!
He winced as he heard his audible whimper. God, he could only imagine what his name would sound like coming out of your mouth.
thetigerkingKS: Ayye, welcome to the VIP’s dude
SuperiorMaknaeDino: Holy fuck that just hit me- We’re Candy’s VIP’s bro
DroopyEyedJun: We the superior ones-
Jeonghan gave a small laugh as he read the chat, the men that were with him certainly were funny.
PrettyHanni: Ahh, i would have joined sooner but i was having an internal crisis, i guess you can call it.
S_Cheol: So basically, you were fanboying?
GentleHong: Dude, who wouldn’t fanboy over Candy?
DivaBoo: EXPOSED
HappyVirusMinnie: OOF
With a shake of his head, Jeonghan typed out a reply, figuring there was no sense in hiding his blatant fanboy moment.
PrettyHanni: Oh yeah? Don’t sit there and tell me you didn’t freak the fuck out
skyscraperGYU: I know for sure i did
S_Cheol: oh im not, i literally threw my phone across my room and scared my hamster-
Jeonghan laughed loudly as he got himself comfortable on his bed, propping his laptop on his lap.
candy_princess: AWW you have a hamster?!
S_Cheol: haha, yea i do, he’s a little shit though
sweaterpaws_Wonwoo: Dude dont disrespect your hamster like that smh
S_Cheol: okay well when he decides to crawl into your hoodie sleeve and bite your armpit then you’ll realize-
As Jeonghan was reading (and laughing) the chat, he started thinking. He’s been watching your lives for a long time now, almost a year and a half, with the same thirteen men on a constant, yet he knew nothing about them. Then again, most people don’t try and make friendships of the basis ‘Hey, i jack off to this camgirl and i know you do too, wanna hang out?’ He gave a laugh at that thought, just imagining the scenario until he was brought back to reality by the chat.
SuperiorMaknaeDino: Hey, Candy? can i ask something
candy_princess: of course!
SuperiorMaknaeDino: I’m not complaining, but why did you make this group chat?
iconicboyhansol: I’ve been wondering that too
As Jeonghan read what he typed he tilted his head, getting lost in his thoughts once more. Why did you make the chat? What was so special about the thirteen of them that possessed you, who rarely did private streams and never did private chats to want to talk to them like this?
candy_princess: oh..well to be honest with you guys, it was mainly to say thank you for alway supporting my streams. Hell =, you guys definitely donate the most out of any of my viewers, you practically pay my rent, so i just wanted to get to know the men responsible for my happy living.
musicgodWoozi: im not crying, my goldfish stepped on my eye-
FashionistaHao: Imma be a man and admit, my eyes wet af rn
Jeonghan didn’t know how to stop his heart from pounding against his chest. He knew you were cute but this was an entire nother level of adorable and Jeonghan liked it way more than he should have.
candy_princess: Noooo, don’t cry please :<
S_Cheol: You tell us that adorable information and expect us not to be soft, Princess?
PrettyHanni: Honestly, you just became 10x more adorable to me-
He chuckled as he watched the other guys tease you for your adorable mini speech. It was strange, it almost felt normal how comfortable he felt talking with you and the others, like he belonged there with them.
iconicboyhansol: i needa google how to not fall in love with a woman ive never met-
candy_princess: awww guys >~< my blush is real right now- but seriously, you guys make my camming so much more fun than it used to be and i appreciate that~
musicgodWoozi: We appreciate you too, Princess, i don't know any other men that would drop everything at the notification that you are live
Jeonghan chuckled at what he said, never relating to a sentence more in his life.
candy_princess: which is why i wanted to offer something...
Jeonghan’s brow quirked in interest, sitting up a bit straighter as he read your message.
DroopyEyedJun: What do you mean, baby?
candy_princess: I wanted to ask if you all would be interested in doing a few private streams, one on one, and possibly filming with me, one on one, if youre up for it...
Jeonghan’s breath hitched in his throat, causing him to go into a coughing fit, almost dropping his laptop. He was speechless. One on one cam streams as well as filming with you..holy fuck he was getting lost in his imagination.
S_Cheol: Oh fuck..you actually mean it?
SuperiorMaknaeDino: Oh fuck please don’t be playing
candy_princess: Im dead serious, i swear, but only if you all want to.
Jeonghan didn’t hesitate as he typed out his answer.
PrettyHanni: Oh fuck yes, i am 100% down
S_Cheol: me too
iconicboyhansol: Id rather die than say no, so hell yea
DroopyEyedJun: Please yes-
sweaterpaws_Wonwoo: I think i speak for all of us, so they dont gotta type, that all of us are up for it, babe
candy_princess: Then how about i message you guys privately and we can set a time and schedule?
S_Cheol: works for us baby
candy_princess: Ill start tomorrow morning but its late and i need rest if im going to be giving special treatment tomorrow ;)
Jeonghan gave a deep sigh, heart practically failing from the thoughts of getting private cams from you as well as the opportunity of filming with you. He could feel himself getting excited just at the thought of it.
GentleHong: Alright, Princess, get some sleep okay, but first drink some water and get a shower before you get too sleepy.
candy_princess: yes sir ;)
GentleHong: fUck-
Jeonghan chuckled as he watched you say your goodbyes, his own tiredness starting to set into his body as a few of them said their own goodbyes, his included. He shut off his laptop and ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he thought about the night he just had. From getting off work to jacking off as you pleased yourself on camera, to being offered the chance to be with you one on one. He was in awe. He stopped wallowing in his thoughts and got out of bed, changing into some pajama’s before getting into bed, mind not entirely prepared for what the next days would bring.
#seventeen#choi seungcheol#yoon jeonghan#joshua hong#wen junhui#kwan soonyoung#jeon wonwoo#lee jihoon#xu minghao#kim mingyu#lee dokyeom#boo seungkwan#hansol vernon chwe#lee chan#smut#fluff#seventeen smut#series#candy'sregularsseries
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Under the Mistletoe
pairing: todoroki shouto x fem!reader
warning: smut, cursing, fluff
word count: 8,467
a/n: I didn’t want to edit this last night so lmao... sorry!!!!! anyways, this is super cute and yall should like.....read it :D
Synopsis: The mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. Too bad Todoroki Shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
“So you’re telling me that when two people meet under a mistletoe they have to...” Shouto trails off as he looks at the green plant nestled in between his fingers. “They have to—”
“They have to fuck, yes,” Kaminari nods his head.
His arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes closed as he nods. His words, of course, are a flat out lie, but to Todoroki Shouto it seems as if his friend is speaking the truth. “It’s why it was never put up during our Christmas celebrations at school! With some of you guys not turning eighteen until after Christmas and all. That could have turned out to be child porn or something!”
“I haven’t had sex though,” Shouto huffs as he throws the mistletoe towards the blond who yells as it hits his head. “I don’t think I want to be caught underneath it. Didn’t Mineta wear a hat with it attached to it last week though?”
“Yeah, but that’s the only way Mineta can get girls, plus didn’t you see how the girls avoided him like the plague?” Sero pipes in, a large grin on his face as he takes the mistletoe and throws it above Kaminari’s head.
Shouto, however, sees this as a substantial poof.
“Bro, are you telling me you wanna fuck?” Kaminari winks as he looks up at the mistletoe.
“No, I just don’t think you’ll ever get to smash without this either!” Sero laughs as Kaminari slaps the mistletoe from Sero’s grasp.
“Would you fucking bastards GET OFF YOUR ASSES and come fucking help out?!” Bakugou roars as he enters the living room where the three men were sitting around.
Shouto stands up first, his eyes looking at the mistletoe that lays innocently on the floor. White people were pretty weird for starting that tradition.
Of course, it wasn’t to say that Shouto didn’t want to meet anyone under the mistletoe! Had it been a tradition where he would get to kiss someone it would be different, but fucking? Having sex only because you were caught under a plant was a bit too much.
“Todoroki-kun, are you okay?” Midoriya asked as he walked while hold two tables to put up for the dinner. The boys of the since graduated class 1-A were in charge of hosting the first annual Christmas party. Of course on because Iida volunteered them all.
Shouto nodded his head as he smiled strained, “I’m going to be avoiding the mistletoe all night.”
Midoriya looked at the fallen plant as he quirked an eyebrow, “Really? I thought it could be a great idea to get— mmph?!”
Shouto’s eyes widened as he saw Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima covering the One for All user’s mouth. They began dragging him away, their mouths at his ear as they whispered at him.
“Todoroki-kun, Kirishima-kun!” Iida yelled as he brisked over with red cloth in his hands, “I need your help in spreading snow out in front of the house! It hasn’t snowed enough yet!”
“Iida, what do you think about mistletoe?” Shouto asks as Kirishima jogs over to them.
“It’s a weird tradition,” Iida admits as he rubs the back of his neck. “But there’s too much to do, and the girls will be here within an hour!”
“Don’t worry bro,” Kirishima laughs as he slings an arm around Shouto’s shoulder. “Just avoid the mistletoe! Unless... you want us to send y/l/n-chan your way!”
Shouto couldn’t hide the flush the built on his cheeks at those words. The joyous laughter of Kirishima’s teasing didn’t help either.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
Shouto stared at himself in the mirror.
Iida had insisted on formal wear tonight. He believed their first Christmas celebration outside of U.A. was a cause to ditch the Santa gear. It was definitely weird celebrating Christmas with his friends and not wearing the Santa suits.
But Shouto chose a dark navy blue suit, a white button-up, and a slim black tie. His fingers buttoned one of the buttons on his jacket before putting in silver cuff links. He was ready.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Shouto placed his clothes into the designated room. It seemed, however, that he was the last one ready as everyone else was sitting at the grand table. It had been beautifully prepared by Sato and Tokoyami. The aroma of the cooking food filled the air causing Shouto to sigh, he was quite hungry.
“Bakugou, where’s the mistletoe?” Shouto asked his ash-blond friend who was walking around with his hands shoved into his pockets. Shouto watched as Bakugou groaned as he whipped around towards him.
“What makes you think I would fucking know, hah?” Bakugou grunts as he rolls his eyes. “It’s hidden for a goddamn reason, you’re not supposed to know!”
“Would you help me look for it?” Shouto asks as he rubs the back of his neck.
“HAH?! Why the hell would I look for it with YOU, half and half bastard?! Are you trying to—?” Bakugou’s mouth was then taped shut. Shouto watched on in confusion as the ash blond’s attention was stolen by Sero; who was now running away in his white tux from the storming blond.
“Why aren’t they just being bizarre!” Aoyama dramatized from Shouto’s left. Glancing over, Shouto chuckled at his friend dressed in a literal suit of armor that was blinding to the eye. “Now, are you confessing your feelings to Mademoiselle y/n? Christmas is the most romantic time to do so!”
Before Shouto could speak to the smirking blond, Iida bursts into the dining area with coats in his arms.
“The ladies have arrived!” He announced.
Shouto watched as six girls entered the room talking amongst themselves.
They all wore Christmas appropriate formal dresses, and yet his heart fell as he was quick to see that you weren’t there.
Where were you?
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
“I know I’m very late!” You exclaim into your phone as you struggle to shove the dark red evening dress over your body.
You weren’t supposed to have stayed as late at work as you did.
Missing the bullet train back to your apartment, you had completely missed the preparation for the party. Lucky for you, your neighbor had a useful quirk that let him do makeup and hair in ten minutes. So after offering him your soul (a promised meeting from his favorite Pro Hero Froppy), he agreed to do it.
The formal wear, however, was a bit too much in your opinion.
One month ago Iida had sent out appropriate outfits to gather ideas of what to wear for today. To put it simply he wanted a full-blown ball gown for a party for twenty-one of you.
So there you sat in your room, pulling the dark red dress into place. It had a semi sweetheart neckline, the bodice was made of soft velvet, and the skirt was multiple layers of red lace. Overall it was cute and simple. Slipping on your white heels you grabbed your coat and presents for your friends. Placing your phone to your ear you raced out to where the taxi was waiting for you.
“Iida won’t let anyone eat until you’re here! And I’m positive Bakugou is going to kill Midoriya out of a hangry fit if you don’t get here quick!” Mina once again tells you as you give the taxi driver the address.
“It’s not my fault villains decided to be villains where I work! Had it been my decision I would’ve been there with you guys! Plus it’s starting to snow,” you sigh as you pinch the bridge of your nose. “Tell Iida you guys can start eating, I’m not offended!”
“Girl, I told him that one hour ago, and again right before I called. Trust me, we’re not touching the food until you’re here!”
“Wow, you didn’t even want to wait for me?” You tease as you watch as the taxi drives into familiar areas.
“You know I’m teasing, besides loverboy here won’t let anyone eat until you get here too~!” Mina giggles in her sing-song tone.
“Don’t call Shouto that!” You groan as you try to calm your flaring cheeks. “We’re friends!”
“Friends who have the sexual tension that brings god to her knees! And the romantic chemistry that makes the cutest couple tremble in jealousy!” Mina exclaims. “Don’t worry, we saved you the seat right between him and me!”
“Mina!”
“Oh, gotta go! Bakugou AND your precious Shouto~ are demanding an update, see ya soon cutie!”
“Mina—”
The line went dead as you puffed out your cheeks.
Sometimes Mina was too slippery for her own good.
The rest of the taxi drive was quiet. Your taxi driver most likely wanting to get you out as soon as possible to go home themselves. Your eyes focused down at your cellphone that was getting text messages demanding your location.
Most of which was spam from Kaminari and Uraraka who seemed to be the most starving. Sighing, you shared your location with the class’s group chat for the next twenty-four hours. So they could track you for the next few minutes it would take for you to get there.
kaminari: i dont think ive ever been this excited to see y/n in my life… ever… and im 98% sure i had a crush on her 0.0
you: omg i told you guys you could EAT stop HARASSING ME
sero: tru lets blame iida
iida: You all would have been very upset had we eaten without you! Besides, this is our family so we have to wait, it’s only polite. - Iida Tenya
mina: …
you: …
midoriya: …
kirishima: i thought someone ingrained it into iida that he doesnt have to text… like that…
momo: I believe it is okay, Iida-san! It is confusing to know who’s texting on this chat! Sincerly, Yaoyorozu Momo
bakugou: hurry the FUCK UP Y/N
you: id rather die
“We’re here,” the driver sighs as they turn around. “That’ll be 2,000 yen.”
You smile in gratefulness as you pull out two 2,000 yen. “It’s a tip for working on a holiday, thank you!”
“Happy holidays.”
“To you as well!”
You stepped out of the car and closed the door behind you. Your eyes fluttering as you watch the snow fall in front of you. A shiver runs through your spine as you pull your coat tighter around yourself. Holding the presents closer to you, you walk down to the front door. You take notice of the heaps of snow in front of the lawn and grin. Although you had no evidence, you bet Iida made Shouto and Kirishima create snow unknowing that it was going to snow this much.
Opening the grand door, warmth and the waft of cooking food invaded your senses. Removing your coat, you heard chairs scraping against the floor as a small mob of people raced to greet you.
“Merry Christmas!”
“Season greetings!”
“I’m so fucking hungry, thank Santa you’re here!”
“Move bitches I get the first hug!”
“Let me grab her coat first!”
It had been a while since you had last seen everyone. But in this moshpit of who you would consider being among your best friends, it warmed your heart. “Thank you, Iida,” you smile as he nodded in response.
“You followed the guidelines quite well, you look great!” Iida compliments as he turns to put your coat away.
“Of course she looks great, we all went out together to a dress shop!” Jirou sighs as she pulls you into a hug.
You greeted everyone, hugging them all as you went until you finally found the one person you wanted to see. His hair styled slicked back and his hands rested in his pockets as he smiled at you. Your face felt like it was heating up as you stepped closer to him.
“Merry Christmas, Shouto,” you smile as the dual-colored man smiles at you. You pull him into a hug.
“Merry Christmas, y/n,” he mumbles into your hair. “I’ll take those from you?” Shouto offers as he grabs the bag with the presents.
“Thank you,” you say letting go of the bag.
Shouto nodded as he turns on his heel to put the presents away.
“TIME TO EAT!” Kirishima and Kaminari roar as everyone starts making their way back to the dining table.
“Just to let you know, there is a mistletoe somewhere here, in case you want to make a move,” Mina whispers in your ear.
Oh, this dinner seemed like it was going to get increasingly harder to stay composed.
xxx
“It’s present opening time!” Iida exclaims as he ushers the class into the living room where the tree and presents resided. “Please have a seat, Yaomomo and I have organized the different piles for everyone! Until you have been seated will you receive your pile!”
You were talking with Tsuyu as you entered the living room. Your eyes shining as you took in a beautifully decorated living room.
“You boys did an amazing job at decorating!” You exclaim as you grin, the night had been going perfectly so far.
Dinner had been lively and hilarious. Old banter and topics bleed into the night’s conversation made your heart ache for the old days. It seemed so long ago when you spent every day for three years with these guys. You missed it.
With Mina at your left who discussed her new fighting style. Shouto at your right who talked about his life at home. His family had finally was becoming something he loved completely. While you two had late night discussions talking about it no one else knew about it. It was invigorating to see Shouto grin and laugh in conversations. His old dense self was still ingrained in him yet he’s grown so much since his fifteenth year. You were proud of him.
You watched as Tsuyu took a seat on the couch, her eyes trained on you as she spoke. You moved to sit next to her until something shoved you to the side.
“Oh, that’s my seat!” Mina exclaimed as she sat next to Tsuyu, her smile large as your eyebrow rose. “There’s more, don’t worry!”
You turned around and saw a seat near Midoriya who was near Tsuyu. It seemed you could continue your conversation about her position as a Hero Commander. Midoriya would like that conversation as well.
“That’s my spot!” Uraraka shouts as you were about to sit down. You sighed as you stood back up, your eyes raking the couches for a place to sit.
“There’s a spot by Todoroki-kun,” Midoriya said pointing at Shouto. Shouto was sitting on a seat that was a bit too large for one person, but too small for two.
“Thanks,” you smile as you walk over to Shouto. “You mind if I squeeze in next to you?”
Shouto looks at you, his eyes intense as he shakes his head, “No, go ahead and sit.”
You sat at his left with a grin. Your body pressing into his left arm as he concentrated on Iida, and with a nudge, you captured his attention. “I hope you like the gift I bought for you,” you whisper as Iida begins handing out the piles of gifts to each person. Ojiro helping as they were big.
“I don’t think I could hate anything you could give me,” Shouto whispers back as he grabs his pile from Iida.
“Random panties I find on patrol?”
“I’d be honored you thought of me.”
“That’s so gross, Shouto,” you laugh as you take your own pile from Ojiro.
“You’re the one touching random panties from the streets of Japan!” Shouto retorts as he helps you settle your pile onto the floor.
“Touche, Shouto,” you grin as you shove him with your shoulder, “touche.”
“Because it is Uraraka-kun’s birthday coming up, she should go first!” Iida suggests and everyone agrees.
“Oh, I need to tell you something,” Shouto whispers as you cheer on Uraraka who is lifting a gift over her head.
“What is it?” You ask turning your head towards him.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he whispers before focusing back in onto Uraraka. She lifts out multiple bags of strawberry mochi with a triumphant scream.
“You look handsome tonight, too.”
It doesn’t take long before presents are being opened and you’re feeling content pressed into Shouto’s side.
From Aoyama, you got a crystal mirror that sparkled in the light. The poem about the North Star engraved into the back of the mirror.
From Mina, you got workout clothes specific to a dance class you and the girls were planning on attending together. They were in your favorite color and came with a jacket with your name stitched into it.
From Tsuyu, you got a plushie. It was of your favorite animal and held lots of tiny little snacks that you could carry during a patrol.
From Iida, he presented you with a pair of exercise shoes you had been needing for a while. After all, sparring with Bakugou and Midoriya left your old ones disintegrated.
From Uraraka, she bought you a charm bracelet that had two charms on it already. One of the U.A. building and another of a small group of girls.
Ojiro gave you got a new winter coat. It was white, waterproof and insulated. Your jaw on the ground as you tried it on because it made you look like a marshmallow and you adored that.
Kaminari gave you got his mixtape. On the cassette were a bunch of Kaminari originals he had been promising you for years now, and now you had a copy. That and a gift card to your favorite restaurant.
Kirishima gave you a new ankle and wrist weights. Something to help with your manly journey to becoming the best hero!
Koda bashfully announced that you were getting an all-inclusive trip to an animal and tea shop. Something he gifted everyone in the class, and an event you girls were quick to plan.
Sato gave you a free pass to let him bake you anything you wanted. Another gift given to all the girls, and another gift you girls were excited to use.
Shoji had gifted you a massage gun. Something you had enveloped him in a hug for minutes afterward because it was something you had been meaning to buy.
Jirou’s gift was in a white envelope, two VIP tickets to your favorite band. A very discounted item because her parents knew them and the fact that she was a Pro Hero too.
Sero’s gift was something that made you laugh, it was a high-quality blanket. Soft to the touch, with the ability to keep you warm in a blizzard! It had a class picture printed on it photoshopped with Kaminari’s wheey face onto everyone’s picture.
Tokoyami gave you a picture album with the class’s best memories. It also had many more blank pages for your own pictures.
Hagakure bought you a new set of makeup and brushes. Brushes that you had been eyeing the time you two had gone shopping together too!
Bakugou bought you a new outfit. It was definitely an outfit for warmer weather, and he got annoyed when you went to hug him.
Midoriya made you a present. It was two notebooks full of analysis and suggestions that you had asked for when sparring. You wanted to continue improving and Midoriya was definitely going to help you.
Mineta bought you a gift card to use at a local lingerie store. On the one hand, it had a lot of money on it, on the other hand, you wanted to destroy it.
Momo blushed as she stood up, her grin wide as she looked at everyone. She apologized about being able to properly buy everyone an honest gift as she had been busy these past few months. Nut she promised she made up for it. She had paid off everyone’s apartment/house rent or price. Or in Iida’s and Shouto’s case their groceries for four months.
“This is for you,” Shouto whispered as he handed you a thin rectangular box. “I didn’t want it getting smashed so, I held onto it. I didn’t forget to give you a gift.”
Your eyes focused on the gift that was wrapped in red and silver wrapping paper. Your fingers gently taking it from him as you nodded. Shouto had been giving everyone else gifts with things that reminded him of them. It had some of the most hilarious items to date. But the box told you nothing, no hint, no clue. The attention of the group was on Aoyama who was modeling the new outfits that were gifted to him.
His eyes bore into you as you opened the gift, your eyes widening as you opened the box. “Shouto…” you trailed off as you looked down at the simple yet gorgeous necklace that lay in the box. It had a single diamond on it, yet you knew that it was more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your life. “W-What?”
Shouto remained silent as he gently pulled the necklace from the box, he asked you wordlessly to turn around so that he could place it on you. You complied as you shifted in the seat.
“I promise I looked everywhere else for you before choosing this!” Shouto admits as his warm fingers push your hair to the side. The cold chain presses into your skin as you look down at the jewel. “But no matter what I looked at, this was the only thing I liked for you. So, no, I don’t regret or worry about buying you this because I know it was meant to be yours.” His breath teased your exposed skin and it took everything within you not to melt as he fixed your hair.
Not knowing how to thank him, you pulled him into a tight hug, your arms holding him near as he returned the hug. Your lips pressed gently against his cheek, “Thank you, Shouto.”
You pull away and look back to your friends who were still focused on Aoyama who did a spin. Your fingers grazed the shiny jewel, and you lay your head against his shoulder as you consume the fashion show laid out for you.
Xxx
“You’re confessing to him, right?!” Mina hisses as the girls called an impromptu meeting seconds before you were "about to kiss Shouto" on the couch.
“Mina-san, she was about to kiss Todoroki-san right before you ripped her from his grasp!” Momo sighed as gave you an apologetic smile.
“Y/n has liked him since high school! Her first kiss with Todoroki-kun is not going to be while Bakugou is modeling his clothes!” Hagakure defended Mina as she crossed her arms.
“First off, I was not going to kiss him,” you defend yourself as you point a sweeping finger at your friends. “I was going in to get lint in his hair!”
“There wasn’t lint in his hair,” Tsuyu chimed in to which everyone agreed.
“Leave her alone!" Jirou waves her hands, to which you thank her. "She was going to take the lint out with her teeth! To show him what that mouth do!”
Jirou snorts as you shove her.
“Do you see that rock on her neck?! You know she’s not gonna show him only what that mouth do, but also what her—!” Uraraka snickers as she was interrupted by the kitchen door opening.
“Y/n?” Shouto asks, his eyes wide as he sees that you’re flustered and pointing your fingers at them all. “Um… I was wondering if we could talk?”
“Right now?” You squeak as you smooth over your dress. “Of course right now, um, yes let’s go!” You declare, glaring at your friends as you walk towards Shouto. Grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the kitchen the door closing behind you.
“They put up the mistletoe outside right?” Momo whispers as she looks at Jirou who gives a thumbs up.
“Yes, Kaminari said they convinced Todoroki to talk with y/n outside.”
“Does… does Todoroki-kun even know what to do under the mistletoe?” Uraraka asks as she realizes her sheltered friend was still learning new things to this day.
“The boys must’ve explained it to him,” Hagakure insists as she nods. “You can’t fuck up explaining that you kiss someone under the mistletoe. Besides, they want them to get together too!”
Xxx
“Fuck, it’s cold,” you shiver as you wrap your jacket around you.
“Sorry,” Shouto apologizes as he grabs your hands in his. Heat immediately spreads through your skin. He was warming you up, the cold winter air is ignorable, as you and Shouto walk towards the edge of the porch. “There wasn’t any room in there that was private enough, and I needed to talk to you about something important.”
“Oof, don’t tell me you meant to give this necklace to some other girl named y/n,” you tease as you rest your back against the snow-covered railings. “If so, I’m going to need to fight both you and her for it.”
“No, no,” Shouto chuckles as his thumb rubs smooth circles into your skin. “But it is about the necklace.”
You nod your head as you squeeze his hand reassuringly, “What about it?”
“It’s not… too forward is it?” Shouto asks as he takes his right hand to brush your hair from your face. “If you think it’s too much I can take you to return it for something else you’d like.”
The worry and concern that are heavily etched into his face make you laugh softly as you shake your head. “Even though I can’t give you something as great in return, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
“What do you mean? I liked your gift.”
“Shouto, it was a two paid in full all you can eat meals at that soba joint you love, of course, you were going to like it!” You tease as you think back to the hole in the wall you had introduced Shouto to a few months ago.
“Yes, I have to starve for a week to make the most of your gift,” he teases and you snort as you shove him. Your eyes roll as you focus your attention back onto him.
Wait, what was that?
Your eyes flew back up to the ceiling as you saw the powdered with snow mistletoe hanging from the ceiling. Your jaw dropped as your heart rate spiked. The hands that were in Shouto’s felt sweaty as you ripped your hands from his.
“What’s wrong?” Shouto asks as he follows your gaze up to the ceiling.
“Mistletoe,” you breathe as your eyes widen. This screamed like a setup to you, but how could the girls know the two of you would have made your way out here?!
“Oh.” Shouto’s voice nearly squeaked.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Shouto whispers, his cheeks glowing in embarrassment or from the cold, you had no idea at this point. “If you’re okay with it, um... I’ve never done this before.”
You lick your lips in anticipation and the feeling that Shouto wants to kiss you back. Your heart hammers in your ears as you smile. “It’s okay, I have,” you laugh gently.
“... you have?”
“Yeah!”
“O-oh…”
“It’s okay, it’s something I try not to remember,” you input as you shake your hands. His disappointed, flustered, and jealous aura screaming at you as you cup his cheeks. “You’re the one I wanted to meet under the mistletoe anyways.”
His hands slip through your jacket, holding your waist in his grasp as he lets out a shaky breath. Shouto’s eyes rise to lock on yours finally, and you nod at him.
“Wait you want to do this outside?” Shouto whispers as you near him.
“You’re supposed to do it under the mistletoe,” you mumble as your lips connect with his. Your lips end all arguments that he has as Shouto stills.
The kiss was slow, your eyes closed as you gently coaxed his stiff lips to move with yours. Shouto moved with you smoothly, the kiss gently growing in passion as he pulled you in closer. The kiss burns you as your lips languidly move against each other. Your hands moving from his cheeks to tangling into his gelled hair.
It was perfect, and you found yourself pulling away, ready to confess your feelings for him. But Shouto didn’t seem to be on the same page as his lips pressed against your throat. The feeling of his heated and soft lips against your colder skin made you suck in a sharp breath of air. Your head tilting backward as he peppered clumsy yet attentive kisses against your skin.
“S-Shouto,” you moaned as your fingers grabbed onto the collar of his jacket. This wasn’t what you were expecting from him. Nor was it something you believed to come from a visit under the mistletoe. Your peaked breaths soon calmed, they smoothed into soft and shaky moans as his teeth teased your sensitive skin.
Shudders flew through your body as his tongue caressed your skin. your mind was sinking into a sinking pit that is until he trailed his tongue to the cleavage of your breasts.
“Shouto!” You squeak as you shove his jaw up, his eyes locking on yours confused and drowning with lust.
“What’s wrong, love?” Shouto asks as a strand of hair falls into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Is this how you meet everyone under the mistletoe?” You pant as your mind is racing too many thoughts a second, you can’t keep up as there is a heat building in you. A heat that begged you to get over your shyness and just let him kiss you in such a lewd way. But this wasn’t Shouto, it couldn’t be.
“I’ve never been under a mistletoe before,” Shouto mumbles as his lips press together. In this brief hesitation, it seems that he remembers something. “Who have you… met under the mistletoe…”
Your face warms as you sigh, it wasn’t a memory you much enjoyed.
“It was Bakugou, but only because the damn store owners were so insistent on it!”
This confession made Shouto still. His eyes turning a near black with emotions you hadn’t seen on his face in quite a while.
“Shouto? Are you okay--mmph?!”
His lips were back over yours immediately. His bruised lips fervently danced against yours as he held his right hand to the back of your neck and the other firmly onto the small of your back. His kiss was demanding, sultry, and overwhelming.
Your questions of his emotions out of your mind as your ass hit the porch railing. The cold snow burning through your dress made you cry out, and Shouto’s tongue presses into your mouth. Your back arches as his left-hand leaves your body. It slams against the railing and the snow melts, and the tongue in your mouth warms you as you shudder in his hold.
Not wanting to be manipulated like this, you ignore how your body feels like it’s melting in his hold. Your mouth suckles onto his tongue. Your hands fist into his hair, making him moan into your mouth as you tug on it sharply.
You can feel the falling snow hitting your cheeks, but your body temperature has spiked so high that it melts before it can make complete contact.
Ripping your mouth from his, your lips trail down his neck, nipping and sucking hickies onto his pale skin. The harsh pants that escaped his mouth and the shaking of his form further incited you as your painted lips met the collar of his shirt.
“Should we go back to my place?” You ask as you pull away, your hands fisting around his tie as you look into his lust-fueled eyes.
“I thought you said we had to do it under the mistletoe?” Shouto questions, his upper lip in almost a sneer as he uses your hands to loosen his tie. Your eyes widened as he stripped off his jacket. He placed it onto the railing that was turning the snow into steam whenever it made contact. “Did you take Bakugou home after finding yourself under the mistletoe with him?”
The words were a near snarl, his eyes angry, his face jealous.
Some part of you wanted to utilize this. You wanted to use this surplus of emotion Shouto was emitting to get him to fuck you against this railing. Another part of you, a louder part of you, demanded to know what was wrong.
“Why would I bring Bakugou home?” You ask as you take Shouto’s flushed cheeks in your hands. “It’s mistletoe, not a porno.”
Shouto blinks once, twice, thrice.
“W-What?”
“Mistletoe, not porno,” you repeat confused. “Shouto, you’re supposed to kiss under the mistletoe.”
It’s then that Shouto’s body freezes. His eyes widening as he stares at you.
His face flushed, lips were swollen from kissing, and hair messy.
“You’re… you’re not supposed to fuck?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he shakes his head.
The small sentence causes your heart to beat wildly as you stare at him, your hands moving from his cheeks to your mouth. “NO!” You squeak as Shouto takes a step back from you, his head dropping.
Coldness envelopes you as Shouto nods his head, “I’m sorry for forcing myself on you, y/n. I… I should go.”
You watch as Shouto turns on his heel, his back stiff as he walks towards the door.
Everything in you screams at you to make him stop, pleading that you pull him back and say you’ll still fuck him. The kissing itself had ignited a fire within you. And there was nothing else you wanted but Shouto to subside the need and desire that had built within you.
“I like you,” you reel as you find yourself taking several steps forward as Shouto’s hand touches the door handle. “I have feelings for you, and when I found out that I could kiss you tonight I took the chance! I know you might be feeling a whole bunch of different emotions that I can’t list. But I want to let you know that I wasn’t letting you do that because of the mistletoe, Shouto! I genuinely really like you and I was going to let you fuck me against the porch railing I was that ready.”
Shouto is frozen at the door, his back tense as his hand drops. You watch in what feels like slow motion as he turns around, his eyes locking on yours. It clicks, his confession is silent as he walks back towards you.
The world has gone silent as Shouto cuts the distance between the two of you before you could react. His mouth pressing against yours as you’re sent walking backward. Your hands grasping his biceps as you’re pressed against a familiar railing.
“I like you,” Shouto gasps against your lips. “Fuck, y/n, I like you so much.”
You don’t answer him as you instead sink your teeth into his lower lip, a groan leaving his mouth as you pull away. His eyes flash dangerously, something new stirring within him as your lips come crashing together again. In a tangle of lips and tongue, his hands leave your waist and grab your ass through the fabric of the dress. The cold is ignorable and the jacket around you is making you sweat as you moan into the kiss.
The melodious sound escaping your mouth stirs Shouto on and his leg slips between your thighs as you arch into him. His leg presses indescribably into your crotch, so you do what you must and grind your hips against his leg.
The grip on your ass tightens as Shouto begins to guide your hips into wide circles against his leg. The grinding pleasures you. The slowly building pressure overwhelming you as you whine against his mouth. His name escapes your mouth like a prayer, soft and hopeful as your mouth suckles against his tongue.
“It’s too hot,” you whimper as you pull away, Shouto trying to follow you with his mouth as you tilt your head. His wandering lips press against your neck and you sigh as you shift to take off the jacket.
“You’re going to get sick,” Shouto warns. His hands leave your rotating ass as he tries to slip the coat back over your shoulders.
Taking his hands and instead press them onto your breasts. As his eyes shifted to your breasts, you dropped your coat to the floor and you stare at him with a growing smirk. “Then you better fuck the cold away.”
His eyes take you in and he slowly nods, his hands groping your breasts as he growls in response, “Don’t think I won’t.”
“Big words for a virgin,” you moan as warmth spreads throughout your body.
“Those are fighting words for someone who’s at my mercy,” Shouto snaps as he pinches your side.
A pained moan escapes your lips as Shouto’s teeth sink back onto your neck. His tongue then lashing out to smooth the wound that was left in its place. He continues to mark your neck as your gasping praises and grinding hips gives him the confidence to continue. His touch is intoxicating and you find yourself whining for more, begging that he do more. Finally, with a deep chuckle, Shouto pulls away from your neck, his lips red and raw.
His eyes trace your body as his hand’s trail from your breasts back onto your ass. Your eyes widen as he picks you up as if you weigh nothing, his hands massaging your flesh as he places you onto the rail. A low sigh escapes your lips at the feeling of the warm wood underneath you.
Your chest heaves with your quickening breathing as you see that this position gives Shouto the perfect entrance to fuck you out here.
There wasn’t much you could do outside. With snow blanketing the world, your friends indoor, and both you and Shouto craving the other there was only so much you could do. Fully expecting Shouto to start unbuckling his pants, your eyes shot open as he lifted the skirt of your dress. His heated fingers trailing up your cool flesh.
Trembling you watched as his fingers reached your panties. His finger stroking your folds as your hands held tightly onto his shoulder. Your pussy aches for more. Your panties soaked from the thigh riding and the being so overwhelmed with emotions for Shouto.
You can do nothing as you feel your panties being peeled from your skin. The soft fabric trailing down your legs and you watch as Shouto looks at them before pocketing them. A smirk overcomes his facial features as you watch him. He takes your wrists in his right hand and moves them behind your back. Your eyes widen as a familiar sound hits your ears.
“I might be a virgin, but I’m not a prude,” he whispers into your ear as cold ice encloses your wrists. “You have only a few minutes to get yourself to cum against my fingers, or else… well, I don’t want to find out.”
Unintentionally, you whimper in both pleasure and pain as the coldness seeps through your skin and your pussy throbs at the threat. Should you heed his command or make him recant. As you contemplate that, you rub your legs together. The slickness of your essence much more noticeable without the fabric in place, and you moan.
Shouto smirks as he looks at your moving legs, and he takes his left hand to trace your inner thigh, teasingly, barely touching your skin. Your eyes flutter as they brush against your slit right before he plunges two fingers into your wet heat. Cursing his name, your walls tremble against him as you press your forehead onto his shoulder. His fingers are warm, but your heat is even warmer.
“Is something wrong?” He feigns innocence as his fingers curl against your wall. They circle within your cunt as you whimper lewdly.
“N-No!” You stammer. The freezing sensation of the ice is almost ignorable with his fingers beginning to push within you. He nods as he begins to move his fingers slowly. Your body squirms in his hold as he increases his speed. Soon his fingers pump within you at unimaginable speeds, your head throwing backward at the pleasure. Your hips find themselves bucking against his fingers as you mewl.
The ice begins to burn as his thumb brushes against your clit.
Your eyes clench close as you surge forward. Your lips pressing against his as you attempt to stop your loud moans. Shouto swallows your moans as he continues to pound his fingers in you. A third one soon entering as his thumb flicks against your clit.
So close, you’re so fucking close.
You can feel the pressure building in you, the coil tightening as you cry out his name, pleading for him to make you cum. Shouto muses at your desperation but does not relieve you of your desires as his fingers leave your cunt. You cry at the expulsion, your pussy craving for him to reenter your needy cunt.
Instead, your wrists are set free from their icy cage. Your skin feels like its burning as Shouto places his fingers into his mouth. He's licking your essence off his skin and you whine at the visual.
“I decided that I want you to come around my cock instead,” Shouto chuckles as you glare at him.
“You’re a dick,” you whine as you watch as Shouto loosens his tie after removing his jacket.
“You’re the greedy one who wanted to fuck right here,” Shouto hums as he unbuckles his belt. You stare at him feeling your pussy throb at the impending sex.
Your eyes fall onto his cock as his pants bunch at his knees, and your mouth dries at the sight of him. Eight inches and thick, his hand fists against his length, low grunts escaping his mouth as he steps near to you.
“Are you okay with this?” Shouto asks as the head of his cock brushes against your wet folds.
You nod your head as you shudder at the sensations that run through your veins, “Yes, are you?”
He nods too as he grunts softly. He begins to grind his cock against your folds. The increased pressure than what he was doing before makes you moan as he coats himself with your juices. Your hands hold onto his biceps as he continues to move his cock between your folds. teasing your clit instead of penetrating you and you whine in protest. The stimulation of your clit appreciated but you wanted him to fill you up.
“Will you just fuck me already?!” You rasp as you pathetically circle your hips against his length.
Shouto chuckles as he locks eyes with you, “Maybe.”
Your mouth opens to argue, but you’re cut off by him pushing himself into your needy pussy without warning. His length barely fits entirely within you, and his girth causes your head to spin as he stretches you out. “FUCK!” You hiss as your head presses into his collarbone.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Shouto shudders as your walls spasm against him, overloading him with sensations as he tries to calm himself. “Y-You’re so fucking tight.”
“Move, Shouto,” you beg eagerly needing more friction from him. “Please fucking move.”
With a grunt of confirmation, Shouto rolls his hips. You curse as his hips move outward before bottoming back into you. Your hips move in time with his, and intermingled moans resonate within your now joined mouths. His thrusting picks up speed the more comfortable he gets. His moving hips slamming against yours as you cry into his mouth. His hand grips your waist as he pulls you from the railing, one of your legs hooked around his waist as the other shakily stands. He slides his other hand down your back so that he can cup the bottom your ass. It’s a stretch and it adds to his vigorous thrusts into your cunt.
The feel of Shouto’s pelvis slapping against yours is your remedy — you’re craving him even more and he is well aware of that fact.
You’re swelling with euphoria and lust when he decides to amp up your pleasure by bringing his right hand to your clit. His fingers circle against your clit with his ice-cold touch, it shocks you as your heated body jerks under the new temperature. With the added temperature play, it feels as if your body is breaking under his will. Your pussy clenching at sensations he’s giving you. Your hips rolling against his pounding hips, and he moans in return to how your walls clench against him.
Your head lolls to the side as you’re overwhelmed by the blazing heat in your core. The pressure of your cunt heavily evident throughout your entire body. You needed to keep it together, you wanted to keep going. The head of his cock finally comes to press against your sweet spot as he shifts your hips and you shriek.
“Fuck! Please, right there!” You beg as Shouto shakily nods, his hips coming to snap into that same spot over and over. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you’re no longer able to speak. You’re completely overpowered by his snapping hips.
“Will you come for me,” he groans out, his voice a pleading hope.
Your head nods frantically as you're unable to trust your voice. The action satisfies Shouto as he hisses lowly. Faster and harder, his fingers switch from pressing small circles to large figure-eights on your clit, while his hips slamming faster into you. You can’t handle the pleasure any more, and you feel your high coming.
“Shouto,” you gasp as he presses a kiss against your mouth again. His hands moving to lift you up, you can only cry in pleasure as he slams your back against a pole. His hips continuing to snap into you at insane speeds. You’re not able to keep up as sparks ignite in your veins as he slams into you over and over.
Your orgasm hits your body and it’s as if you’re falling away into ecstasy. Your mind spinning and dazed from the continuous world-altering sensations. You cry out his name as he still continues at his unmerciful pace. That is until he suddenly pulls out and drops you onto your shaking legs.
Whining at the loss of his cock, and the fact that you’re now on your feet, you open your shut eyes and stare at him unable to speak.
“Turn around,” he growls. You can’t believe he wants you to go for his own orgasm with you in a whole new position. Was he really a virgin you question as he fists his cock as you reposition yourself onto the railing. Your chest presses weirdly onto the wood as your knees buckle, and you look over your shoulder to see Shouto raising the skirt of your dress.
Shouto doesn’t ask to insert himself in you again. Your fingers grip the railing as he slams back in and you let out a sharp cry as you seize forward.
He starts up a brutal pace with his hips slapping against your ass with each and every thrust. Your hands move to your mouth as you cry as you rock forward with every thrust. His hips remain steady as his pace accelerates. You watch on a dazed high as snow falls onto your moving hair. Your fingers shoved into your mouth like a gag as he grips your hips. You use all of your willpower to push your hips back against his to meet him thrust by thrust.
Slowly, he starts to vocalize more and more. His lips moaning your name and crying out. He keeps one gripping hand on your hips while the other slips to your clit. Your mind snaps as he begins rubbing meticulous shapes onto your puffy nerves.
You can tell he’s close.
He’s chanting your name against your spine like some mindless prayer to you. His hot breath fanning onto your exposed skin. The hand on your hip grips you tighter, definitely bruising your skin. So you grip the railing with one hand and the other remains in your mouth.
“Are you ready?” Shouto growls while nipping at your skin. “Ready to take my cum?”
“Yes! Please, Shouto!” You choke out from your fingers, the pleasure and overstimulation reaching their tipping point once again.
“Then fucking come.”
Your toes curl as you let out a sob of pleasure. Your arm is unable to support yourself anymore as you let your torso slam against the railing. The circles on your clit finally stop and your abused cunt clenches around Shouto’s cock. Your body reaches its second orgasm of the night, and Shouto arrives with you.
He cries out a “Fuck!” and your name as his speed spills within you. It’s the loudest he’s been all night, which makes you whine at the sound of your name being said so vulgarly from his mouth. As your cries become breathless pants, you press your hands against the railings. The saliva on your fingers turning cold as the two of you stand still for what feels like some time. You feel him slide both of his hands on top of yours to intertwine with yours as cum spurts out of his cock, filling you up.
He rubs circles on top of your hands with his thumbs as he slides himself out. The feeling of him gone makes the both of you whimper at the loss of each other’s fill. You feel some of his cum seep out, and you shudder at the emptiness your cunt now feels.
You slowly stretch back up, your body hurting and now quickly turning cold with the lack of his heat.
Shouto is two steps ahead of you as he grabs your tossed coat from the floor and wraps you tightly within its fabric. “There,” he smiles as he pulls up his own pants, his face still flushed for different reasons.
You giggle as you shake your head, “Did I really get dicked down because of mistletoe?”
A snort escapes Shouto’s lips as he nods, “You did.”
“Well, I do like you, Shouto,” you whisper as he finishes dressing. “It’s not just because of the mistletoe.”
“I know,” Shouto whispers as he takes your cheeks in his hands. “And now this is me asking you on a date and if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”
Joy fills your heart as you laugh softly. “I’d love to be,” you say as your lips meet his in a gentle kiss right under the mistletoe.
✩✶✩❇✩✶✩
taglist (message to be added):
@flayvus @antigenius @mariahschoices @cherry-pie-shay @the-secret-thief @vampire-dumbass @monst
#todoroki shouto#todoroki shoto x reader#todoroki x reader#todoroki shouto x reader#todoroki smut#todoroki scenario#bnha writing blog#bnha#bnha x reader#bnha todoroki#bnha imagines#mha#mha x reader#mha imagines#mha todoroki
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FF HEADCANON LIST
CRACKS KNUCKLES these are all imported from google docs bc thats where ive been keeping all my thoughts :] im not sure if theres any repeat HCs in here and im sorry if someones got to me before i have but these all came from my own brain !!! these are all very miscellaneous HCs but they generally revolve around vivosaurs and revival. some of them are rather macabre so a solid CW warning here for mentions of dinosaur body horror and death. ALSO SPOILERS FOR FOSSIL FIGHTERS 1 AND 2 BUT MOSTLY 2 LETS GO
modern boneysaurs/zombiesaurs
i think it is entirely possible to replicate a boney/zombiesaur outside of whatever sorcery zongazonga used to resurrect them in the first place. i think its relatively well known undead vivosaurs are a direct result of ZZ and his ancient tournament, and although zombiesaurs are usually claimed to be used in such tournaments most often, i think boneysaurs are just a variant of that but where less used due to weakness and general incompatibility. theyre all undead vivosaurs. thats it. on to the meat of this headcanon, boney/zombiesaur resurrection: i think zombiesaurs could be the result of attempting to revive a deceased vivosaur, while boneysaurs might be caused by man or machine malfunction while reviving a fossil. i think this might be an interchangeable effect: zombiesaurs might emerge from resurrections, and boneysaurs might emerge from revivals, although altogether i think this entire phenomenon is extremely rare. fossil revival goes entirely against the laws of nature and thus, nature must step in at some points to attempt to stop the process, although common fossil park high-tech machinery probably stops most instances like this from happening. boneysaurs emerging from failed revivals are almost always the cause of very poor cleaning, (maybe attempting to revive a heavily damaged, failed fossil head?) or outdated/unkempt fossil revival machinery. boney/zombiesaurs were so common in ZZ’s time because of such poor methods of revival. at some point during a “doomed” fossil revival, the skin and flesh of the vivosaur its supposed to resemble never quite “renders” in. the skin is registered and stitched together, but only holds the bones in place with an unknown black substance, leaving it void black in the same way a texture in a video game may just fail to load. presumably boneysaurs are almost always immediately dead in the revival chamber after the process is over due to lack of functioning organs, skin, etc, without some kind of support or magic. or maybe they are magic- every bad unnatural part of a revival machine fused into one being, and thats what allows them to live on. on the other hand, this could mean any type of boneysaur could emerge from any dinosaur- pterosaurs, therizinosaurs, raptors, maybe- maybe- just a thought, maybe even super revival vivosaurs could have this effect happen too. so, so rarely though. so rarely, its probably never even happened before in recorded vivosaur revival history.
as for zombiesaurs- this phenomenon could happen when a recently deceased vivosaur is attempted revival. recently deceased, as in, undecayed flesh-still-in-tact. i imagine this happens much more often than boneysaurs- although, i dont think many people are trying to revive dead vivosaurs.
zombiesaurs, fresh from the revival chamber, are almost always damned and in pain, and serve as a reminder to fighters that the laws of nature can only be twisted so far, and they are best be put down. presumably no fossil cleaning facilities will allow a fighter to attempt to revive a dead vivosaur due to the danger and the frightening, disturbing nature of zombiesaurs. fossil damage + neon goo every fighter has encountered the bright purple (green in the OG FF) substance that appears during cleaning when a fossil is too damaged in one area. this material wouldnt be produced from the fossil itself, but rather generated by the fossil cleaning machinery when it detects damage within the bone, kinda like a 3D printer. this is why fossil cleaning is so meticulous, and why it has to be done in such specific conditions with heavy surveillance and a tight time limit. this prevents the vivosaur from having broken bones when it is revived- it is a bright, obvious substance, and it feels much like a warm, firm jelly with a hard, synthetic core that sews bones together. maybe its different in other regions, explaining the color difference amongst games. it is almost completely unnoticeable when the vivosaur is revived, nearly perfectly mimicking bone and flesh to prevent issues later on in the vivosaurs life. as good of a bone mimic as it might be, i think a very heavily damaged bone would still be a weak point during battle or an area of pain or irritation for the vivosaur. that is why it is best to clean your fossils as well as you can. maybe this goo is designed to be replaced with real bone by the vivosaurs body later in life, but i have yet to think about that too much. perhaps its soft enough to be destroyed and replaced by the body’s natural healing functions, but hard enough to act as bone? And perhaps thats why its best to let your vivosaur rank up (rest+heal) before taking them to battle. UNRELATED HEADCANON- GUHNASH COULD HAVE HAD A COOLER DESIGN. I DONT LIKE HIM HE LOOKS LIKE A TADPOLE. i have a vision in mind for a cooler guhnash redesign- i like the snake-ish look, but maybe he could be like. an infinitely long being. nobody knows where he starts or ends. a head at the front of an infinitely massive body that consumes everything, and nobody knows where the eaten planets goes. kinda like a jörmungandr-like being. idk i just think a “planet eater” with living brains should be more eldritch and god-like and mysterious. ANYWAYS vivosaur ecosystems? there is literally no way a vivo ecosystem wouldnt form. NO WAY. so many dinosaurs and seeing how OFTEN they are abandoned- refer to the opening scene of fossil fighters champions- it would not be any surprise feral vivosaurs wouldnt breed and form small ecosystems among themselves and around fossil parks. its not an uncommon sight to see pterosaurs flying overhead or sauropods munching on trees, although id bet theropods and more dangerous vivosaurs would have teams of park rangers to keep them under control. refer once again to FFC opening scene. this would explain the seemingly infinite amount of fossils in the dig sites, how you can find vivosaurs in only specific areas- although thats leading into a rather dark topic and i would rather not talk about it right now LOL i will leave that open to interpretation. jurassic park knock off SOME OTHER LITTLE MISC HCS TOO SHORT TO WRITE ENTIRE TOPICS ABOUT: because ZZ is a mix of boneysaur and zombiesaur and hes also an ancient sorcerer he smells fucking rank. so fucking bad. hes got maggots and shit hes only held together by magic but somehow he kicks ass. but hes fucking stinky so at what cost boneysaurs have no concept of feelings and arent really desirable as vivos and zombiesaurs only know rage and pain, also making them undesirable, for very very good reasons. they are taboo to talk about among fighters but most of the time they are only myths because of how rare they are feral vivosaurs dont have medals, only revived vivos do. that means they are standalone animals and they are also generally undesirable for fighters but they can still be tamed, if one wishes. theres way, WAY more fossil parks and dig sites than shown in the games. fossil battling is as well known and used as much as people love music and video games in the fossil fighters universe. vivosaurs are an essential part of society, although there is often controversy on the ethics of fossil battles and revival. pokemon knock off alright thats all i feel like typing for now thanks for reading this far lads. i love dinossuars. i wanna write some things on dinaurians but maybe later after ive introduced saar here :)
#thank u for reading#also moth i love u i know u where excited to read this but im not sure how well u can understadn !!!!!! GBDFHBGSDJ xoxoxoxo#im not very good at writing headcanons these are just my dino thots#dino thots? oh you mean dinaurians?#fossil fighters#fossil fighters champions#hcs#headcanons#vivosaur#boneysaur#zombiesaur#yeehaw
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Ronnie & Joe
Ronnie: [a phone number]
Ronnie: found you your own special plug
Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is
Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔
Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike
Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up
Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma
Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz
Joe: taking your role that seriously?
Joe: alright
Ronnie: getting out of it
Ronnie: she can babysit you
Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so
Joe: nice of you on all fronts
Ronnie: yeah
Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something
Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like
Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed
Joe: no shit I did
Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it
Joe: unlikely
Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so
Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound
Joe: give a shit about him
Ronnie: if youve got something to say
Joe: I just said it
Joe: I don’t care about him
Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics
Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck
Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont
Joe: you’re jealous
Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to
Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all
Ronnie: of what
Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have
Ronnie: you wish
Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other
Joe: I know
Joe: x2
Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna
Joe: so today I’m green
Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid
Joe: nice to know how to play it
Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music
Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?
Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues
Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about
Joe: how long have you been doing heroin
Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do
Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty
Joe: it’s literally been days
Ronnie: cause you are
Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds
Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid
Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met
Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get
Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit
Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake
Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to
Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it
Joe: I’ll really stop
Joe: there 🤐
Ronnie: fuck you
Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright
Joe: let me make it up to you
Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too
Joe: alright, I deserve that
Ronnie: drop dead
Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for
Joe: I know
Joe: so what do you want, seriously
Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever
Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen
Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison
Joe: Probably am
Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am
Joe: there’s the truth
Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us
Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were
Ronnie: go ed
Joe: the second to last one was the worst
Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason
Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it
Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔
Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental
Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm
Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you
Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up
Joe: she might go for it
Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏
Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit
Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah
Ronnie: dinners at what like 7
Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?
Joe: oh no
Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently
Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af
Ronnie: fucking hell
Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you
Joe: saves times, energy less so
Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see
Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it
Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet
Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like
Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment
Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch
Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it
Joe: yeah he has a missus
Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever
Ronnie: make it happen then
Joe: where’s my bow and arrow
Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem
Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment
Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is
Joe: you’re well sweet
Joe: you want her to be living her best life
Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim
Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that
Joe: go on then
Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you
Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better
Joe: but your loss
Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it
Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here
Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask
Joe: for what
Ronnie: anything
Joe: why not
Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit
Joe: I’d like to
Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction
Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not
Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah
Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds
Joe: it is different though
Joe: tell me it isn’t
Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago
Joe: it’s not your fault
Joe: for good or bad
Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking
Ronnie: i didnt say that
Ronnie: i said thats why its different
Joe: yeah
Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you
Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to
Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter
Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks
Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense
Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers
Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat
Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out
Joe: that’s fine by me
Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?
Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are
Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then
Joe: they won’t try, they don’t
Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation
Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton
Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest
Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her
Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind
Joe: precisely
Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly
Joe: save yourself that disappointment
Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention
Joe: good
Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like
Joe: then let’s do it
Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit
Ronnie: it aint
Ronnie: you aint
Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like
Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough
Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based
Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first
Ronnie: fuck no
Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself
Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you
Ronnie: &
Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?
Ronnie: yeah
Joe: [pics]
Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]
Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]
Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]
Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]
Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]
Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]
Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]
Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]
Joe: do you fucking get it yet
Ronnie: why do you care
Joe: why do you think
Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont
Joe: braindead sounds ideal
Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you
Joe: she would if I let her, like
Joe: 🍈🍈
Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ
Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more
Ronnie: ok go
Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]
Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]
Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]
Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]
Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]
Joe: Any luck?
Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i
Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me
Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay
Joe: the last one looked deep
Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead
Joe: I don’t
Joe: where are you
Ronnie: dorothys
Joe: he in?
Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker
Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me
Joe: Yeah
Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first
Ronnie: i dont need your help
Joe: I know
Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder
Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops
Joe: I’m coming over
Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in
Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows
Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address
Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔
Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit
Joe: thanks for the tip, baby
Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round
Joe: You do want me to read your mind
Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help
Ronnie: hot
Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep
Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ
Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie
Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out
Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that
Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet
Joe: slow down
Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it
Joe: Something like that
Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck
Joe: and tie your shoes
Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo
Joe: what can’t you do then
Ronnie: err what a nonce would say
Ronnie: read music we also fucking established
Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to
Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how
Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said
Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what
Joe: Of course I do
Joe: You got me my own dealer first
Ronnie: you asked me to 1st
Joe: How did I?
Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch
Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like
Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do
Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care
Ronnie: what line
Ronnie: i dont want you to care
Joe: Tough shit
Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer
Ronnie: you fucking did
Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all
Joe: what you do for yourself is your business
Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you
Joe: 👌
Ronnie: dont call her then
Joe: you on commission?
Ronnie: 🖕
Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me
Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st
Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic
Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah
Joe: to make me hurry*
Joe: I’m on the tube
Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere
Ronnie: no fixed address i told you
Joe: ❗️
Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room
Joe: makes sense now
Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out
Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend
Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you
Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest
Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌
Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it
Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well
Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap
Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you
Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind
Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours
Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you
Joe: yeah, yeah
Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it
Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one
Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright
Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby
Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else
Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too
Joe: not calling dibs
Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs
Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up
Ronnie: try me
Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying
Joe: does your head in SO much
Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her
Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe
Joe: unlucky
Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want
Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on
Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself
Joe: nah
Ronnie: 💘
Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one
Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework
Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse
Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice
Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no
Joe: obviously not
Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna
Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis
Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would
Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing
Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now
Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember
Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me
Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today
Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like
Joe: gotta make time for you, babes
Joe: it’s called self-care
Ronnie: ask me what with
Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are
Joe: go on
Joe: school us
Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds
Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex
Joe: 💡 fairplay
Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right
Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad
Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days
Joe: help a brother out
Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant
Joe: 💔 oh well
Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do
Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy
Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem
Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out
Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old
Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there
Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby
Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map
Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map
Joe: piss off
Ronnie: give us a clue
Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me
Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here
Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem
Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna
Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead
Joe: all I know about hers is addiction
Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea
Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together
Joe: loads, Catholic, remember
Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination
Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like
Joe: guess so
Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept
Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah
Joe: it’s a fucked place to live
Joe: really third world in that respect
Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up
Joe: that your all men are pigs stance
Joe: alright courtney calm down
Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that
Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes
Joe: they didn’t really grow up together
Joe: he left when he was 15
Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days
Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here
Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?
Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch
Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now
Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep
Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch
Joe: you wanted me to
Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit
Joe: right, that’s what I meant
Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here
Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm
Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care
Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?
Ronnie: horse girl wishes
Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one
Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch
Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant
Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere
Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure
Joe: bet she knows first aid
Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube
Joe: threaten me with a good time
Ronnie: i just did
Joe: without meaning it, yeah
Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it
Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]
Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]
Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]
Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]
Joe: [forreal lmao]
Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]
Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]
Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]
Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]
Ronnie: ['what, you didn't
touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]
Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]
Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]
Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’
Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']
Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]
Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]
Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]
Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]
Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]
Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]
Joe: [god bless the grunge
aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]
Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]
Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]
Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]
Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]
Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]
Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]
Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]
Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]
Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]
Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]
Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]
Ronnie: [hard same]
Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute
Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever
Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself
Ronnie: or your cello
Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen
Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly
Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it
Joe: I can’t not go
Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically
Joe: no excuses
Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm
Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option
Joe: there was already enough damage to hide
Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got
Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do
Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay
Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit
Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it
Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of
Joe: alright
Joe: see you around then
Ronnie: 🖕
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Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)
ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut
firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️
I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery
for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go
you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while
i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about
that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep
the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it
on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now
get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while
go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week
the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff
when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)
more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)
the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs
i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night
all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah
some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option
ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!
finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕
#and like i said ill post a more complete version at some point when i have time and my laptop#but dw that one ill be able to put under a cut#asks#long post#top surgery#fibromyalgia#is there a tag for chronically ill trans ppl?? i feel like there should be the venn diagram is pretty chunky#medical //#also its 2am as im writinf this lmao sorry if it doesnt make sense
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Prompt: Make headcanons of you and the character of your choice be it sfw or nsfw
Tagged by: @oursmolbox
a little about me:
I'm a student athlete (cheerleading), honor student and a class officer. Before entering cheer i was in the volleyball team for 7 years but only played competitively for one season and the rest was just benchwarming
My teachers say that I have a magnetic personality and bring out the best in the people i'm working with especially when I put my mind into it. My personality is kind of hard to explain cause I react differently to different kinds of people almost like mirroring so I'd be able to fit in to that group.
Although when I'm with my friends id like to say im sly, mischievous, flirty and charming. I'm a naturally forward person and I don't hold back when it comes to skinship or hugs huehuehhe im rather clingy so yeeet. It's almost obvious when I get crushes since as much as I'm naturally fly and a flirt i end up turning into a shy ball of awkwardness.
Pairing: Akaashi x Alyssa (me!)
Before the relationship + Confession
I'm pretty sure we would have mutual friends (Bokuto) and would probably only know each other by name
The first time we would have actually met or like seen each other would most likely be at one of their games.
Fukurodani's cheerteam was tasked to accompany the boys during the 3 day competition to show support.
My friends and I in the cheerteam were scoping out "competition crushies" or some eyecandy be it from the Fukurodani team or the neighboring one
And god lets be honest there is no better looking eyecandy than Akaashi Keiji. My teammates see me looking and glancing at the boy too much before telling me what his name was
Then it hit me he was THE Akaashi Keiji jskebsb the pretty setter that everyone in school has been talking about also the same one Bokuto talks about ksbsksb
After the match the cheerteam and i would congratulate the boys and cue me dying because Akaashi looks better up close than from the stands
Being the clingy person I am bounces towards Bokuto first since he was the only one I was close too plus the boy gives the best hugs (fite me its canon)
To put it simply imma hang out more with Bokuto cause I wanna get to know Akaashi
Which surprisingly we have a lot in common and his attitude balances mine out
It takes a long time for me to have a crush doe (I've only ever crushed on one person in my life) cause tbh I don't fall in love blindly instead I openly head towards it with my consent
When I do realize I like-like him thats when things get awkward yet interesting. I start flirting with him less, my ears start burning, I don't use pet names with him anymore, my hugs become shaky and i couldn't keep eye contact for too long
Naturally he thinks something is wrong or that he did something. It's gonna be like that for a while til i muster enough courage plus peptalk to confess. I'd confess to him most likely during the end of the year in an almost open forum way that one might think isn't really a confession if you dont listen carefully
If he confesses first though then Alyssa.exe has stopped working cause itd be truly a miracle if he so much looks in my direction
I don't deserve him he is literally heaven sent😭😭😭
In the relationship
Lowkey because iz not like eother of us wants to flaunt our relationship
It's a slowburn type of relationship
honestly I would go bright red just from a simple touch cause again as much as I am a flirt tis only a defense mechanism to hide how shy I am
Hand/pinky holding
eyecontact
smiling at the ground
blushing
forehead kisses
library and museum dates
walking eachother home after training + watching each other train
Pet names
Oml pet names
Rawr I’d die if he called me pet names and as for him then he’d have to claim one of the oh so many pet names I call my friends for himself
Tbh id prolly be to shy to call him anything though
He’d prolly be somewhat upset I call my friends by pet names while he doesnt
If there was one word to describe it it would be soft
My girls would gush when they see him and tease me relentlessly while we train and the boys would holler everytime I stay and watch the VBC team
I would very much wear his jersey a lot because as much as I am a shy baby with him my man deserves recognition also cause I love wearing his clothes
I'd cry if I see him watch my competitions cause if ur man is ever interested in ur passions then you've got yourself a keeper
<end>
A/n: oh my god im blushing while writing this nsiwnskwn also cause huehuehue who wouldn't when you're writing about you and your crush.
I tag: @reogou @burnt-tomato @mizunetzu @mistu-nee @everyone who wants too
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuuxreader#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu!!#hq#self pairing#haikyuu mashup#haikyuu prompts
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Some shit i dont like but if its tagged properly i know i dont like it and move on 🤷🏽♂️ its legit that simple lmao. Id rest easier knowing people respect and understand fantasy and reality do reflect eachother but are not equal etc (as in yes representation matters, yes i think villians are hot no i dont wanna fuck a rl serial killer they could burn) typea shit but its not my place and i can literally just unfollow or filter the tag. You dictate your own internet experience afterall. 💅🏽
Exactly! That’s exactly how I feel about it. Dictate your own experience! If something is tagged improperly, maybe politely let the author know and avoid their stuff from then on! If you don’t want to consume it, don’t! Let people who want to do it in a safe environment and don’t shame them for wanting to enjoy themselves in peace! Don’t try to dictate everyone else’s experience because you don’t want to take responsibility for your own! Like for example, I would much, MUCH rather someone read a noncon fantasy fic than go out on the streets and try to replicate the feeling by baiting or something (which is a very real thing, very dangerous, please do not do that.)
That’s how I choose to think about it. I would live outside of Shigaraki’s window, but you’ll never catch me wantin’ to fuck Richard Ramirez or Ted Bundy. Real life murderers are a fucking no from me, chief. But reflecting on to a character in fiction that hasn’t actually done anything? That’s fine for me.
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Small Dec Wins
i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!
1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt
2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be.
3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp
4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.
5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends
6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check
7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok
8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe
9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.
10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss
11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,
12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance
13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100
14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.
15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.
16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)
17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check
18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo
19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.
20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)
21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)
22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt.
23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day
24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.
25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.
26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.
27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100.
28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf.
29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner.
30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.
31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep
and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live.
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fat. FAT. P H A T RANT INCOMING FOR ANYONE WHO CARES TO READ THIS NONSENSE CUZ @haldidoodh ASKED
That episode literally blasted the last of my serotonin into smithereens but TBH??? WHO AM I MAD AT I should have seen this coming this whole volume has been such a headache. I cant be bothered to type up a coherent rwde essay on everything that bothered me this episode so im just gonna copy and paste my earlier yelling here instead ;A;
Team Rwby was god awful in episodes 11-12. They’re so self-righteous, entitled, hypocritical and cocky as a team and it doesnt help that they all suck as individual characters nowadays (except for weiss but even she lost best-girl points this episode also lmao blake and yang aren’t even INDIVIDUALS anymore they’re just bumbleby). It was annoying at first but now its just infuriating how rwby thinks theyre always right with their uwu energy and think they can do whatever tf they want with ZERO CONSEQUENCES.
Basically any time there is a problem in this show they have Ruby uwu at it and its solved lol.
They kept giving ironwood shit for taking on this incredible burden SO THAT NOBODY ELSE WOULD HAVE TO and rather than offer any real solution they just kept going “but mantle” like okay?? But remnant??? Like obvi letting mantle rot is bad but HE WAS OPEN TO ANY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS CUZ HES OBVI AT HIS WITTS END AND DOESNT LIKE THE IDEA EITHER but yeah they just proceed to be the fattest hypocrites by hiding secrets of their own after being all “no more secrets uwu” and WHEN THEY GOT EXPOSED THEY JUST WENT “>:[“ (yangs self-righteous little glare here pissed me off so much oof) especially when ironwood was laying everything out in the open to them from the start. AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SECRET WAS FKIN “OH YEAH SALEM CANT DIE LOL” They watched ironwood make every decision he did in hopes of beating Salem while KNOWING she couldnt die??? So literallY WHERE do they get off on screeching at him with their yOu doNt hAvE to Suffer In ManTle YOu doNt kNow whAt iTs liKe bs. Wtf made ruby distrust iw at the start anyway? Because he had a bunch of ships out? They kept this CRUCIAL piece of information from him because he seemed stressed out?? Like what made ruby keep the secret from him. Someone tell me.
And the fact that rwby beat the ace-ops makes no goddamned sense. The power-scaling in this show is non-existant. We finally got to meet some pro huntsmen in this universe who aren’t teachers but are actually on the job, but because we gotta move out of the way for that 👌🏽✨ Power Of Friendship✨ and ✨rwby is always right✨ they somehow managed to beat experienced huntsmen with YEARS in the field who’ve actually graduated school??? FARM BOI OSCAR WHOS *JUST* LEARNING HOW TO FIGHT MANAGED TO LAND A PUNCH ON NEO FKIN POLITAN??? Didnt neo dance circles around yang??? Yang, who punches for a living and also beat mercury and adam??? I cant yall (and the fact that he didnt even bother to sneak up on her this boi literally screamed “no!!” as he ran down a hallway and neo didnt even have time to blink??? Pls)
Ruby’s “you were the best, until you trained us :3” -for maybe 2 days before my team went dancing ruby sis shut right tf up pls my god is this line just so. UNEARNED. Training in a room for a short while does not simply grant you the years of field experience the ace ops have and whAT IS UP WITH HER TRYING TO REASON WITH HARIETT AFTER SAYING THAT COCKY LINE AND FIGHTING HER??? WHAT and also like. The entire idea of “the ops lost cuz they weren’t good friends and were bad at teamwork uwu” is just so dumb. Ur telling me this group of high ranking hunstmen who’ve most likely been working together for at least a few years didnt have teamwork down??? Learning to work together is the most BASIC concept for a team to learn!! Its like the first thing a team has to perfect!! If the ace ops are supposed to be the best of atlas you dont think the ops would have gotten something as fundemental as teamwork down?? I dont buy it. And who gives a shit if they dont hang out after work or take selfies with eachother. Being friends doesnt necessarily mean theyre great at working together. If they succeed at relying on eachother to watch their backs, to keep each other alive (in the words of hariett herself) then Id think theyd know how to protect eachother i.e WORK TOGETHER.
And for all the ✨friendship✨ and ✨going through so much with someone✨ talk rwby like to do, the show barely displays these people acting like friends. We’re constantly TOLD how great of friends this group is, but the actual CONTENT we are shown leaves a lot to be desired. Tell me the last time ruby and blake teamed up in a fight. Or weiss and blake. Or yang and weiss. What teamwork?? Yang only interacts with blake now and weiss is only ever allowed to interact with ruby. Has blake ever said nora or ren’s name out loud? Have jaune and yang ever held a conversation between just them? Team rwby just spent a GOOD DEAL of time seperated from eachother, but when they reunite their teamwork is still somehow better than the ace ops?? Honestly its easier to believe that ruby is closer with team jnpr than she is her own team. If they showed the ops messing up during rwby vs ace ops fight due to lack of communication, then it still doesnt matter. My point is that they shouldnt have lacked teamwork in the first place.
Robyn was m e h this episode “JaMes ConTinUes to UnDeresTimAte Me” *proceeds to get knocked over in .3 seconds and is then KO for the rest of the episode* also great job for starting a fight and aiming to take clovers life in a moving airship with a terrorist on board when clover was acting PEACEFULLY and qrow was WILLING TO TALK IT OUT WITH IW and potentially work on a solution, but naw robyn is big mad and shall shoot.
Qrow made zero sense this episode too. I was with him right up until he chose TYRIAN OVER CLOVER??? THE PSYCOPATH WHO CANNOT BE REASONED WITH OVER THE RATIONAL DUDE YOU KNOW IS GOOD except clover wasnt acting rational in this fight at all and ill get to that AND IS THE ONLY FRIEND YOU HAVE WHOS NOT 19????? Qrow rly looked at tyrian- a man who is literally an enemy to all of remnant and went after ur neice- and said lets get rid of this punk together u and me bro. Like screw teaming with clover to bring down the dude you ACTUALLY have a grudge with whos also a serial killer and then trying to talk it out with clover whod be willing to do things peacefully why is this show like this
and AS FOR CLOVER. where were the braincells this episode. Qrow was trying to fight tyrian-the WAY bigger threat here, but clover??? kept knocking him away from tyrian and restraining him with his hook like??? YEAH LETS HELP OUT THE DEMON SCORPION CRACKHEAD HES CLEARLY NOT THE PRIORITY ATM nvm clover deserved to die there m8
His death scene was emotional and I feel bad for Qrow but u literally sealed his death when u ganged on him with tyrian so why are you even surprised. And on the subject of fairgame, im glad it didnt happen. Qrow was in no state for romance and I was glad he finally had a friend. He just spent the last volume thinking he wasted his life away helping oz, drowning in misery, drinking til he passed out on the street and so drunk he couldnt even be of any help during the apathy situation, when up til now hes been shown to fight just fine while drunk. I don’t see this as a “bury your gays trope” because clover was never confirmed to be gay and all their scenes added up to 40 seconds of platonic friendship. These two are grown ass men, if they had the hots for eachother then im pretty sure they could openly show it and not dance around it like theyre kids. I do feel bad for mlm viewers who were hoping for some rep with fairgame/lucky charms (cuz rt only cares if ur a cute marketable lesbian) but idc for the overly entitled fans who try to force their own headcanons on the writers and go feral when they dont get what they want. You dont just get to prance around claiming whats canon and what isnt. If rep is there then great, but if it isnt, then why not look somehwere else and let the author tell the story theyre trying to tell? Shipping fairgame cuz you think its cute is absolutely fine but not when u start getting ready to casterate crwby for not catering to you. Also, rwby sucks with lgbt+ rep anyway so what were yall expecting.
The only thing that was great this episode was the chorerography. It just sucks that the animation/choreo continues to improve while the writing doesnt. Another thing that really fell off this episode was the whole “we’re friends but we have to fight” drama. It doesnt work when its only ONE SIDE SHOWING ANY DISTRESS OVER IT. Only the ace ops (marrow, clover, the vine dude) seemed to show distress over having to fight rwby (it sucks that the only 1v1 weiss has won was because marrow was going EASY on her cuz he didnt wanna fight her fr) but rwby???? They didnt give any shits. They were so quick to turn against them and aim for their heads. They were SMILING as they ran at the ace ops, while they looked conflicted. If you oppose their UwU philosophy, you’re dead to them.
I really wanna enjoy RWBY but sometimes this show (and the fndm) really tests me. Its ironic how this episode came right after last episode, which I thought was the best chapter this volume. Anyway I rate this 10/10 cuz it gave me best character ironwood and best boi marrow and I would like to give them hugs for carrying this volume on their backs. (Also tyrian and penny and winter have been great too)
#oof just oof#and idegaf about cinder yall#lowkey hoping she gets all the maiden powers so she can finally beat rwby up and HUMBLE them a little#rwby#rwby vol 7#rwde
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Okay TROS thoughts...here we go. I’m putting them all below the cut in case somehow you’ve avoided spoilers
so general thoughts...i didnt hate it nearly as much as i thought i would so thats pleasant but im gonna break it down more
things i liked:
Adam Driver. just Adam. Fucking. Driver my dudes. This is like a backhanded compliment because JJ is so fucking lucky Adam was cast because the emotional depth of the film rested literally all on his shoulders for me. I only felt the weight if he was acting in a scene.
I’ll admit im biased but I did adore the interaction between Finn and Poe. Their bickering amused me and the tenderness between them was wonderful...I think Oscar played Poe a bit jealous as well which i liked.
the Reylo scenes to me where beautiful. Ben never lied to her, she tried to deny it but she knew he never did. I loved that he was kinda guiding her, protecting her, loving her, and antagonizing her all at once. I loved how soft their kiss was, their smiles are literally the light of my life. Rey’s face when she healed him. Ben just staring at her as she tells him she did want to take his hand...just chef’s kiss
I loved the saber fights. Ben’s fight at the beginning was hot as fuck...and his fight as newly redeemed Ben Solo was even hotter somehow.
I enjoyed the fight scenes between ben and rey! how often ben just let her walk away, and despite that one scene which i will mention below...i like i even tho rey was rather aggressive idk...it didnt really feel like she was trying to hurt him much either? i just think they had a lot of chances to kill each other and didnt take it...so i like that
i knew she was looking at ben in that clip i knew it...she only makes that soft face at him
I always enjoy stupid ass C3PO jokes for some dumbass reason
Han and Ben’s scene was heartbreaking and beautiful. Again tho JJ is fucking lucky to cast Adam cause recycling dialogue from TFA wouldnt have worked at all had Adam not been so fucking amazing
the save chewie hall blaster scene was fun
i liked how fucking dramatic children ben and rey were with that damn ship lol...no im gonna force pull it...no im gonna...what dorks
while i didnt like the entire way the force bond was used i did enjoy seeing it still strong and growing
confirming canon soulmate reylo was a highlight
ben’s hair looked bomb
finn’s outfit was cool
Jannah was beautiful (please correct me if i misspell her name)
dark rey was glorious tho
that new little droid is literally me so i adore it
that sith cave thing was really fucking cool looking
the visuals of the film were most of the time stunning
sooooo...now to what i didn’t like:
I think this first one is the most obvious for those who know me but...Ben’s death just feels so utterly useless to me. especially when they gave him a metaphorical death earlier in the film. i feel extremely hurt and betrayed. Disney has gone out of their way to make us sympathize with Ben Solo. They’ve revealed more and more of his past...how alone he was, the abuse he suffered from snoke and palpatine. just fuck...they just kill him...the moment he realizes he’s free and loved they end his life....literally WHAT THE FUCK. it’s a chicken shit way out of a redemption arc honestly. Not letting u just breath after his death was also so horrible. We barely got to see Rey mourn, we got a split second of it then it jumped to another scene...another second of her looking sadly at her sabor to have the moment interrupted
tag on to above but...they didnt have him as a force ghost cause Disney is intentionally keeping where he is ambiguous so they can sell more shit which pisses me off so much
thats not how the force works
there couldnt have been that many sith could there??? cause like there can only be 2 at one time....fucking rule of 2 so how the hell were there that many
palps being like...see i actually want you to kill me...is ridiculous
rey palpatine is the most idiotic thing i have ever heard. Rey being a no one from no where was such an amazing thing. Just anyone can be strong in the force...you dont need royal blood to make you worth something....then they just retcon that??? the fuck I MEAN THE FUCK.
Finn does nothing but worry about Rey the whole film. I know folks dont like his storyline in TLJ and while i understand that and do think it could have been written better i still adore it because Finn grew. He grew from just caring about a small group of people to caring about an idea to caring about something bigger than him. I didnt see any growth in his character in this film. His heroics were beautiful to see and I enjoyed seeing his heart but that was John’s acting more than the writing it think.
sidelining rose was fucking disgusting
the trio felt forced to me
the leia scenes didnt work for me honestly and they mostly just made me sad
bringing in lando now felt weird
ive wanted force sensitive finn for a while but didnt feel right
why the fuck have finn want to tell rey something but never do...ugh i hate storytelling like that
they never explained how palps is back...he just is
rey stabbing ben felt odd to me. i loved the moment when she healed him, and i know technically her anger and darkside was coming out and she acted on instinct...nevermind that even before leia called out to him ben coudnt follow thru with the killing blow.
....i’m sure i’ll think of more as i get angrier
anyways over all...id be lying if moments didnt make me laugh or smile...if i didn’t feel a sense of nostalgia and enjoyment for 80% of this movie. The thing is that even with so much of it being enjoyable to me it still felt void. An action movie, with new characters, a confusing plot and very minimal emotional depth.
The emotion hinged soooo much on Adam or me. The biggest reason for that aside from that fact that Ben Solo is one of my all time favorite characters, is that the things Rey is dealing with in the film are directly related to her being a palpatine...and i HATE THAT. Like straight up wanna fling it into the sun.
Rey never needed to be related to a force royal bloodline. She should have been allowed to remain strong because she was just strong. Kylo’s equal in every way, not because she was the granddaughter of a sith which btw you can’t inherit force powers. Retconing something so touching and unique from TLJ was just...fucking idiotic. All to please the loud but small misogynistic fandom that thought a woman couldnt be that strong on her own so she must be related to someone
The biggest thing....tho is killing Ben. it felt so unnecessary and just...i feel so betrayed. The interviews leading up to the film got my hopes up that i was worried for nothing. I always thought they’d kill him, because cinema seems to not know what to do with characters has tragic as him without just killing him in the end. we already got a redemption = death plotline in this franchise...why couldnt we get a redemption = life instead??? My friend who doesnt even like sw that much...tros was actually the 2nd sw fim she’s ever seen...thought it was unnecessary as well and agrees with me a lot about my feelings despite not having the same intense emotional attachment to him as me. She for a moment thought they’d be together at the end but nope. Its just...pointless to me now, the sacrifices han, luke, and leia made to reach Ben are for nothing. Their deaths...pointless...Ben means so fucking much to me. I’ve never felt such an intense emotional bond with a character before so im just hurting so fucking much right now.
Rey taking the name Skywalker isnt hopeful or cute its a slap in the face honestly...and it’s just weird!
The last Skywalker died loved and held by the woman he loved and that is beautiful to me. He died happy and a hero thats a balm at least...but to not let him be the one to kill palpatine...after everything EVERYTHING he put him and his family thru was another just fuck...i wanted justice for him and he just got thrown away
Ultimately...Ben and Rey are soulmates and their force bond was severed. Palpatine didnt take that from them because he couldnt have...again not how the force works....but JJ used that bond to be a battery???? the fuck...but ultimately hes forcing Rey to live the rest of her days with a gaping wound in her soul. a wound unable to be filled and will be with her for the rest of her life...thats so fucking tragic to me. you give rey someone who is her equal, who understands her, and you take him from her and force her to be alone for the rest of her life?? and we are supposed to not see that as a tragedy? Her being fineishness at the end of the film seemed like direction from either the writing or in the moment, but just further proves he didnt bother to even understand the lore he was using. Force bonds were considered i quess legends in the current SW canon but Rian brought it back...so it’s back. and well
"A bond between two living beings is not something easily broken. It is not a choice… it is like breaking a feeling. Like turning away from the Force. To break a bond, your feelings would have to change, or one of you would have to die—but even then, the bond wouldn't go away, it would simply… it would simply be empty, a wound."―Master Zez-Kai Ell[src]
and .... the only way to break it was to turn away from the Force, as Surik did on Malachor V. So basically it all came down to creating a wound in the Force”
sooo yeah...im pissed i’d give this movie a 1 1/2 out of 5
thank you for those who have read my rantings! I hope at least some of this made sense
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