#and like i said ill post a more complete version at some point when i have time and my laptop

[trash-bin-ary]

Okay im gonna reblog this again then actually go to sleep cause I feel it imperative that if cb does look at my account and see the stuff I posted tonight that he know that while him mentioning osdd and memory was the catalyst for it it is not a bad thing that he mentioned it. I need to work through this cause it has itched in my brain forever and it’s a good thing to work through it while knowing that you’re not alone in it

[crepes-suzette-373]

[Ch 1119 spoiler] Sanji can activate his exoskeleton at will?? So it wasn't him flipping unconsciously, he was doing it on purpose???

Or, if it's not at will, at the very least he's fully aware that it's activated.

WHAT!?!?!??!!?

This is really important!! If he can be self-aware when the exoskeleton was activated or he can turn it on and off at will, then he knows this is happening when he said "Power of Love". He might just be sarcastic, but he still knows full well that what he is calling "Power of Love" is the Germa mods.

See below how one moment the brow is normal and the next he can just casually do Ifrit Jambe (brow flipped, of course):

I know I probably shouldn't assume too much with very minimal info, but... there doesn't seem to be any alternative explanation at this point?

If Sanji doesn't mind calling the exoskeleton mods "Power of Love", then it's not impossible for the mods to be "redeemed" into just a force of good later. All we need is to make sure there is to somehow remove the time bomb trigger of his emotions getting messed up.

For the longest time I've noted that Sora was only protesting about the boys' emotions being fiddled with (theory post here). She did not say she's not okay with them having powers.

TL;DR in my analysis I've come to the conclusion that the reason why Sanji's modifications also disappeared when Sora's medicine worked on him because all the modifications are in the lineage factor. Whatever is in that medicine, it affected the entire lineage factor and so it blocked both the emotion manipulation and also the physical manipulation. We just don't really know the why and how specifics yet.

Therefore, Sanji keeping the powers is not against Sora's intentions. Once again, as long as he doesn't lose his ability to empathise and be kind, the exoskeleton and superpowers are fine. It'd be exactly like the Kamen Rider parallel, where the Rider got his whole powers from the evil organisation that he was fighting. He was just using that ill-gotten powers for the sake of good.

In some of my older theory posts I mentioned since Vegapunk is out of commission, extracting or manipulating very very specific strands of the lineage factor might be doable using Law's fruit powers, since it can selectively extract out his disease. We'll see later...

I'm kind of cautiously hopeful/excited. When I made the solar eclipse theory with Germa being the moon and Sora being the sun, I'm not sure if the intention is that he needs to get rid of the eclipsing moon to "become the sun" (remove Germa mods entirely), or the moon can stay but needs to be "adjusted/realigned" so that it can function properly because moonlight is simply the sun's reflection after all (fixing the Germa mods so that the exoskeleton and heightened speed and strength can stay, but no longer has any impact on his "heart"/emotions).

My personal preference is the latter, but in the fandom people were hyping up the former. I've seen some theories saying that Sora's medicine gave Sanji superpowers that is not the Germa mods somehow, so I wasn't overly confident with my theory, but this new chapter indicates that the version that I like is not completely impossible or off base. Crossing fingers...

Also this gives me a liiiiiittle bit more hope that 124ji can be healed later too. Think about it, even a full lunar eclipse doesn't make the moon go entirely dark and disappear. It just makes it look red and weird. There's still light in there.

[curio-queries]

I saw Jungkook's documentary this weekend and have just a few thoughts. If you're avoiding spoilers, don't click the cut!

The Hybe Documentary Format

So...as a reminder to you all, I do not have professional expertise in the film industry. I'm just a very discerning consumer. I also haven't seen Hobi's documentary and I watched Road to D-Day while I was quite ill last year so I only vaguely remember some bits. (I'll definitely be getting back to those sooner rather than later though as research for a series of posts I'm developing.) That being said, I think we have enough data points to state that Hybe has absolutely no interest in filmmaking techniques outside of music videos.

I did mostly enjoy my experience seeing this film yesterday and I'm always grateful for any amount of footage the members are willing to share with us but this 'documentary ' was worse than Jimin's Production Diary. Any of you that managed to make it through my rambling review will know how dissatisfied I was with that.

I Am Still is not a documentary, it's a mixture of showcase footage and behind-the-scenes clips, most of which has already been divulged in the various episodes and shooting sketches on YouTube. Honestly, if you're not able to see the film, just go rewatch all of the bangtantv content for JKs solo period and the showcase and you'll be up to speed with 85% of what was in the documentary.

There are definitely some expansions to the storylines featured in the bangtantv content; mostly being anything that wasn't overtly optimistic. For example, we learn a little bit more about just how sick JK was during the Seven/3D promotions. That content likely was pulled from the bangtantv edit because it would have put a damper on the promotions and given certain 'fans' a focus to fixate their vitriol. But overall, it feels more like an extended version of existing content rather than a new work. At least JPD didn't continually feed us footage we'd seen before.

I'm someone who gets completely bothered by previews spoiling content so I didn't watch any of the promos until after I saw it and I am so glad I skipped them because most of the 'original' scenes of the film were featured in least one of them. Alas, that's a separate issue of which I'm definitely in the minority.

Was There No Structure?

Kinda. Like JPD, there is a semblance of a structure: Attempting to follow the chronology of release activities for JKs GOLDEN album through the lens of JKs staement trying to prove that he is still worthy of everything he was being hailed as during the BTS group activities but I don't feel this was successfully executed. It jumps round enough and isn't very successful in explaining the events if you didn't already know about them. The film starts with the SEVEN performance at GMA and footage that we've already seen of JK recording SEVEN, not mentioning anything about the music video or really how JK got involved with the song in the first place. The rest of the story beats have similar missing points.

They have a vague narrative with the 'I Am Still' points but that's mostly carried by subs and a couple of moments that JK mentions himself. I'm not saying it's not true or wasn't top-of-mind for JK during this process but it's not the main point of many of the moment/messages he shared with us during this time period so it feels a little disingenuous since everything else jn this film really only makes sense if you've already seen quite a lot of behind-the-scenes content.

Honestly, it makes me question the intended audience. Obviously, they know that ARMY will shell out whatever we need to when there's new content from our members but most of us will have already seen all of the bangtantv content so we are already familiar with the most of the footage in this film. I genuinely don't think this was produced in such a way to be palatable for audiences not familiar with BTS so who does that leave? Our friends and family that are peripherally aware of the content but haven't learned the basics of JKs album? ARMY with short term memories only?

But again, it seems this film was compiled by an editing team and not lead by a director with experience in crafting a documentary. The only new footage that Ican guarantee was captured with the express purpose of being included in this film was the few clips of JK talking in the practice room with the albums displayed by him. But we all know that's where all of the promo clips were gathered as well. I have issues with that approach as well but I'll leave this point alone for now unless anyone is interested.

Suffice it to say, all of these suppositions over the past year about how JKs documentary was getting special treatment or even questioning about investment in a project up front are dead. This was a product assembled with bits of what they already had completely in-house which was sold for distribution.

So, Did We Learn NOTHING?

No, there are a few Golden nuggets (see what I did there?). I can't recall everything having only seen it once (and having a rather disruptive audience - I swear there were only dozen or so ppl in my theater but I forget how obnoxious teenagers can be. I'm glad they're enjoying and supporting but we really didn't need light sticks flashing during a film and how many times does one person need to get up to answer their phone during this runtime? Three according to the row in front of mine.)

Anyway, something I thought was interesting to learn was that Standing Next To You was initially recorded the day after JK heard it for the first time. And hearing a little more about how JK yearned to perform that song definitelygot me thinking a little more about it. We can't reach any conclusions just with this little nugget but it does open the door to some theories. Like perhaps they were initially planning to have JK record two separate albums? SEVEN and 3D would be the singles of the first and JK would perform them as we saw but perhaps STNY was originally planned to be the single of the 2nd album that would release while he was in the military and thus be unable to perform it? Maybe JK loved STNY so much that everything was grouped into one album and Never Let Go was the only track held back for ms? Definitely some theorizing space to be had now.

Final thoughts?

Similar to my thoughts on the GCF: Budapest (which I feel would have had a much better reception if it had been labeled as a bangtan episode rather than a GCF), I AM Still should not have purported to be a documentary. It was much more similar to the annual Memories compilations. But the general public would not have shelled out the $25 to go to a theater to watch a Memories DVD so alas, we have our content packaged as a ~documentary~...

Did my view on the music change at all? Not because of the documentary. We're coming up on the year anniversary of GOLDEN and it's still definitely not my favorite. I completely understand why some people like it but it's just not to my taste. The overall impact falls a little flat for me. Too much breadth and not enough depth. I came into my musical soul during the 00s emo phase and will always be a sucker for music that absolutely drips in an emotional way rather than catchy songs vaguely referencing heartache and love. Again, just a matter of viewpoint.

I do think most of these songs stand much better being shuffled amongst other artists in a Playlist and several of them are significantly better when JK sang them live but I still won't be listening to them regularly. I wholeheartedly believe JK completed his task of proving himself as an extremely dedicated and versatile singer and performer. He's definitely got some solid points added to his resume after this project.

[ffviidirtyconfessions]

Rebirth has thoroughly drained my enjoyment of the remake trilogy. I no longer feel obligated to try and play the games anymore. I don't even want to play ever crisis. And honestly that's the one I was looking forward to the most, because that was supposed to have a game version of Advent children. But it doesn't seem like it's going to happen because of how shitty and terrible rebirth has been. I waited years for that game, just this whole remake in general, and now I just feel so drained. I, myself, only got 20 hours into the game. Just 20, and I pre-ordered the game. It is safe to say that I will no longer be playing a final fantasy game unless I see play through that I like of it.

I really, truly feel your pain here. After all's said and done, I honestly feel like the best thing Rebirth gave me was the chance to see Advent Children on the big screen. This is coming from a person who's been putting off buying a PS5 until I see a game that's worth it on it. This wasn't worth it. So I can't even imagine what it's like actually having bought it.

Even in those first 20 hours, I'm sure you already experienced so much of what I find weird, offensive at worst, and just off-putting about this game. It extends everything to such a strange point, the opening Nibel Mountain sequence being the first offender of all. Everything takes so much time to do and yet gains so little depth, oftentimes less than the original game, which had limited space. It's an insanely huge game that turns out to feel mostly empty. There's constant "upgradable collectables" around every corner, even serious story relevant corners, a required card game, chocobo racing everywhere I guess, and don't even get me started on the Chadley world intel thing that was literally for some reason just ripped out of Zelda Breath of the Wild (????). It wants to be 500 different other popular games and stops being a Final Fantasy game.

The story, too, is just as distracted. It has what I might call "interrupting cow" syndrome. Nothing is allowed to just sit. You have to see the next flashiest thing right away, even if it feels emotionally dissonant from whatever just happened. Oh yeah, let us not forget the random DEAD MOBILE GAME PULL that takes up SO MUCH TIME????? WHO THE FUCK IS GLENN LODBROK ACTUALLY OR AM I JUST A BAD FF7 FAN BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I AM- ahem. This general problem worries me most in the places that matter most to me- specifically in that they seem to want to erase Cloud's mental illness. His memory problems are suddenly credited to "degeneration" instead of what it is, which is trauma, what they always implied it to be in the first place. This escalates as the half-baked Zack alternate timeline whatever thing continues. I genuinely think they are really hurting the story by downplaying (if not removing) the emotional cores of loss and trauma in favor of... fighting fate?? The multiverse??? Something?????

All around it feels like it needed way more time in development. It feels rushed while being completely bloated with "content". It doesn't even look very good 90% of the time. I feel like they barely got used to the PS4's tools only to be stage-hooked by Sony over to the PS5.

The ending in particular (don't know whether or not you figured out what they did with it so I'll avoid spoilers) leaves me wholly unenthusiastic for the next installment. And yet I feel I can't completely look away from it. Something about train wrecks makes me need to look at them, but I completely respect your decision to step away, especially when it comes to your own hard earned money and time. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in disliking this.

Apologies for the length of this post. Unfortunately, I am an English major.

[chestcongestion]

..... Velvette snzcanons...? :'D

Y e sssss!!! Yes yes yes! My q u een! (If I had to pick a favorite it'd have to be her, black women I love youuu)

Allergic to certain kinds of wildflowers, her bedroom and most common areas in the tower have fake plants as a result.

Gets sneezy when she has mint or dark chocolate, which she hates because the Hell version of Thin Mints are some of her favorites.

Doesn't like to stifle because she thinks it gives you wrinkles.

Usually sneezes in doubles, multiple single sneezes back to back are usually pre-cold sneezes.

Lots of "Ii-Ih'pSshhuu!" or "IH'PsShhiew!", sometimes the "SsHhiew!" at the tail end can get louder, especially if it's the last sneeze in a fit. Her sneeze is very consistent, to the point where V/ox and V/al have said if they ever suspect a doppelganger or shapeshifter has replaced her, they'll can make her sneeze as a foolproof check.

Had tonsil surgery in life and then her fuck ass tonsils grew BACK after she died, so now every time she gets so much as a sniffle she loses her voice.

Isn't the best at taking care of herself because she's too busy on her fashionista, social media marketer, and artist grind, so instead of being doted on or doing healthy self care tasks, she's more inclined to abuse medication.

If left to her own devices she will just mainline cough syrup before she takes a sip of water.

Completely unafraid of telling people that she's sick, she'd rather people know than try to hide it and get embarrassed by her symptoms.

Is absolutely mortified if she isn't in complete control of her symptoms and the general public/ her audience see her while she's indisposed. You publish a video of her without editing out every last cough and sniffle? You're fired.

Her nose gets very stuffy and/or runny when she's ill, to the point where she constantly has a tissue held up to her face because sniffling also gives you wrinkles.

Absolutely loves herself some tea with honey and lemon, will spend the entire duration of her cold chugging it out of a big stupid thermos.

Colds almost always go to her throat and chest, and to alleviate congestion in her lungs, sometimes she'll literally have one of her employees standing behind her and occasionally whacking her back on command when she has to cough.

Can be a bit gloomy when she's sick as opposed to being cranky and bitter, makes a lot of solemn and dreary posts on line...lot of rainy cloud emojis.

Tries to ward off illness if she feels like she's getting sick by putting echinacea and eucalyptus oil in her bath water and on her face when she does her nightly skincare routine. It never works the way she wants, she'll feel a bit better but because her cold isn't magically gone, it's a hoax in her mind.

[abby118]

Hi Abby, One thing I don't understand is the power scale. For example Odin seems much more powerful than Thor and Loki.

He seems to possess and know magic that not even Loki would know how to use, such as depriving Thor of his powers and giving Loki an Asgardian appearance, or the impositions he gives to Mjolnir. I also think I read somewhere that it would be the odinforce that gives gravity to Asgard?

But at the same time I don't understand why he didn't at least teach these spells to Thor who should be the successor to the crown.

Furthermore, I don't understand why in the war against Laufey he would have had such difficulty beating him, to the point of losing an eye. But then Thor seems very capable of destroying all of Jotuneim with his hammer and Loki simply kills Lufey by leaving him a spell with the scepter. Maybe they are script errors and the writers didn't think about it? Or am I just overestimating Odin's power?

Hey, everything you've mentioned here is really down to how you interpret it and I'll have to disagree with a lot of these statements.

Warning - long post

Now, I'm not gonna get too much into the details because I really don't feel like getting dragged into more discourse, but I'll start with the one that's perhaps the most controversial in the fandom - the supposed "spell" Odin put on Loki. I know that for some reason, people like this version, but I do not consider it canon, it just doesn't make sense to me. And before anyone jumps at this, no I don't see the book (Marvel Studios Visual Dictionary) as a relevant guide because oftentimes, the writers of such "additional" books aren't given every tiny worldbuilding detail (especially not the ones which weren't directly revealed in the movies) and thus end up making their own to put there. Does that make it canon? Technically, kind of, but not logically. It's the same as the T1 novel casually mentioning Odin's brothers even if the movie canon doesn't really hint at them (though that might be an inconvenient comparison as you can explain Vili and Vé better than said spell).

Why do I think this? Well, if you look at it from a strictly strategic point of view, it would be very risky/downright not work. We don't know whether Odin was already ill at the time of finding Loki, but would anything have happen to him during Loki's life, or simply after his inevitable death, the spell would fade and with it, the entire political scheme he had in mind involving Loki. From here on, I will be going into hc territory but this is how I see it. (You'd have to read my hcs about how I think magic works for this, but long story short, I don't believe it can be taught unless inherited.) I think, Loki, being a shapeshifter and someone with the predisposition to wield magic, shifted because he sensed that was needed for his survival when Odin held him. And I also think that was the final thing based on which Odin made the decision to take him in. Loki being one of the Aesir was exactly what Odin needed; being one of them, Loki wouldn't turn on them, he couldn't. I think that because this shift happened so early on in Loki's life, his body grew to see it as its natural state which is why he returns to it immediately after coming to contact with the Casket/the Jotun. If you look at it from a biological standpoint, Loki appearing as a born Aesir is much more than just skin colour change. The traits of the Aesir are so utterly different, involving things which are not present in the Jotuns at all (his original species can't grow hair (they don't need it), their eyes are completely different, so are their teeth etc. I could go on and on. His height changed, meaning he's got a different skeleton. That is a permanent shift have I ever seen one). That's a whole different species and even when he kind of shifted back for a few moments, he kept those traits. Now, I'm not saying that Loki's origins didn't leave a mark on his biology because they have (for example, look at the heat scans in TA, which might have been his recovery process after the torture he'd been through), but it is also canon (and obvious) he does feel cold, his breath shows up in Jotunheim (if we do see the novel as canon, then "Loki shivered and rubbed his arms".) etc. That is what I think about that one.

'Odin seems much more powerful than Thor and Loki.' 'He seems to possess and know magic that not even Loki would know how to use, such as depriving Thor of his powers and giving Loki an Asgardian appearance, or the impositions he gives to Mjolnir.'

Key word - seems. They didn't list their skillsets to you (you learn a whole lot of things when living as the prince of this realm heavily centred around magic for over a millennium and just because in these short few years, this sliver of their life spans, you didn't see something, that doesn't mean they're not capable of it, whether we are talking about Thor or Loki) and Odin is the king and I suppose with that comes access to Gungnir for example, to which is related a lot of Odin's power. If Odin is a magic user even without his staff, then just like Loki (or Thor, depending on how you view Thor's lightning) he will be specialised in areas other magic users are not as versed in; he had so much more time to study them if that is the case. (Just like Odin isn't capable of Loki's magic because they are different and most likely a result of different studies.)

'I also think I read somewhere that it would be the odinforce that gives gravity to Asgard?'

That sounds like another hc of someone who didn't think it through. I've never run into this piece of info but just think about how Asgard was created to begin with. They must have started with no king and nothing there, with the realm's crystalline core most likely generated by the presence of the Bifrost. You cannot inhabit such place if there's no prior gravity.

'But at the same time I don't understand why he didn't at least teach these spells to Thor who should be the successor to the crown.'

Again, depends on how you interpret magic and Thor's power.

'Furthermore, I don't understand why in the war against Laufey he would have had such difficulty beating him, to the point of losing an eye. But then Thor seems very capable of destroying all of Jotuneim with his hammer and Loki simply kills Lufey by leaving him a spell with the scepter.'

If I remember correctly, it was one frost giant for one trained Einheri, wasn't it? The strength comparisons. You cannot exactly compare Odin and Thor's physique, especially with the age difference and the difference in circumstances - Odin might have been already ill at the time of the war, their weapons are incomparable because each serves a different purpose and since the Asgard-Jotunheim war, they must have imporved the training + Thor does look like a gym overachiever, doesn't he? When it comes to Loki, they were in Asgard (a completely different climate), he had a major tactical advantage and you are comparing ice (again, in Asgard) to a highly trained mage who was wielding the king's staff.

[strayheartless]

I have more Babyroth/ First babys things bouncing round my head. So here have whatever this is:

Based on this post

I think I should make it clear that these version of ASG will grow up different. They are still integrally them but without the angst and the jealousy. Sephiroth for one, doesn’t speak the same. He’s a little less formal and up tight. He’s still quite well spoken but Sephiroth “seph” Lockhart Strife is far more likely to yell “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GENESIS?!?” When something goes wrong.

Genesis is far less confrontational. He’s still a pyromaniac don’t get me wrong - Cloud spends his life spraying things with fire extinguishers - but it’s usually cause he’s been messing with materia and it’s an accident rather than he’s mad and wants to burn down the world. He and Seph still get into arguments, but Gen is also far more likely to apologies when he knows he’s wrong.

Angeal is the chillest of the three kids. He likes to garden with his Uncle Barrat and and cousin Marlene; he’s quiet and cuddly; he’s a complete Mamas boy as well. Where Seph grew immediately attached to Cloud, Angeal kind of thinks Tifa can do no wrong. He likes to bake with her and helps her with food orders in the bar a lot.

Bedtime is Clouds domain. Tifa is very clear that yes, she’s their mom but she’s not giving up the bar, and Clouds work Schedule is far more flexible. Usually during the day Tifa entertains them while Cloud pops in and out on jobs, but the clock hits 4:30 pm and they swap places for the night. Cloud also tends to handle getting children out of bed. The way he sees it it he took them on, their his responsibility, Tifa should not have to deal with more than she chooses.

That being said, they are a pretty good team. It would be difficult to wrangle both Seph and Gen if they weren’t. Cloud gets them up; Tifa feeds them; Cloud handles learning; Tifa handles exercise and community work; Cloud makes dinner and introduces new foods; Tifa strong arms them into the bath; Cloud reads to them and gets them to sleep; Tifa makes sure she says good night before she leaves and checks on them when she come in from the bar. It just works for them.

When Angeal and Genesis turn up on the door step Sephiroth is about 16 months old so theirs a bit of an age difference between them that’s a reverse of the original one. He did NOT immediately take to no longer being an only child. Specifically he took umbrage with no longer being Clouds only priority.

This is because Genesis was an extremely sickly infant. They weren’t actually sure if he’d make it at some points. He’s got childhood Asthma -but he grows out of it; he is in a constant struggle to put on weight; he’s diabetic, and occasionally is right kidney just decides to give up for a bit. Vincent has hypothesised that it has something to do with his past (future?) degradation. But it’s later revealed by Tseng that “no, he was that ill as a child originally, Hollander just used to send test drugs to his parents occasionally.”

Angeals a pretty emotional kid. He’s not headstrong and rough like Seph and Gen but he cries pretty easily. As he grows up he’s still pretty easily set off and all cloud can think of is that thinly little ravenette boy who used to shuffle into the living room with his blanket and curl up next to Cloud because he had a nightmare. Clouds gone soft, Sue him.

One of the most memorable childhood incidents between the tree of them is the time Seph got Gens head stuck between the banister rails on the stairs.

Angeal once swallowed a spider and then proceeded to panic himself in to throwing up on the kitchen floor.

4 year old Seph is of the opinion that Cloud is “older than God” to which Cloud replies “it’s the stress of looking after three cracked out racoon children, it adds years to your face.”

Genesis tells the kids at school not to be mean to him because he’s uncle Vincent is a vampire and will “eat your liver with white wine sauce”. Vincent does not deny this when asked about it by a teacher at pick up time… yet nor does he confirm it. Everyone is unnerved.

Angeal insists on pulling up garden weeds and hiding them in his bed. Cloud is tired of explaining that plants are for pots ore the garden NOT for beds!

Yuffie likes to play a game when she comes to visit it’s called “did Cloud say this to his children or his dog?” Her favourite is “please do not lick the screen door, I just cleaned it!” He did not say it to the dog.

To answer Salty’s question no Zack and Aerith do not come back in this AU, mostly because they both found peace with each other. But also because they were not crack head evil lab experiments in their previous lives. Angeal gets added on the technicality that he did a lot of shit while being “conflicted by honour”

[bitchesuntitled]

Through the Motions

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x Reader

Summary: You and Frankie decide to start a family. Regardless of your mental illness and the challenges it faces.

Warnings: Mental health, cussing, pregnancy, bit of angst, comfort, fluffff, pretty much sums it up

A/N: Sooo…. This would be my first fic I’ve ever actually put out for the entire world to read. I used to have several 5 subject notebooks full of fanfic for myself and my cousins to read cause they were the only ones I trusted with that part of my brain. 15 years later and here I am. I had 4 different friends read it before I posted. All of which gave amazing input and helped me with wording, grammar, punctuation, etc. I love you guys!!! @hessofather(knows all about mentally ill pregnancy cause she did that), @jay-zzle(Spanish expert), @bi-panda(help with grammar and punctuation) and Sarah(helped with wording, who needs to get a tumblr)

Special shout out to: @chloeangelic- Thank you for being so helpful to this newbie with your writing advice! You saw this fic before it became what it is now, hopefully it’s still as interesting as you thought it was to begin with @gracieispunk for just telling me to go for it! ❤️❤️❤️

HERE GOES IT! 🫣

Masterlist

At the time you felt like this was a good idea, that you were strong enough to handle it, that it would get better as time went on. Except now you’re not so sure.

*****

It was your idea first, trying for a baby and Frankie was ecstatic. You’d discussed kids before but it was always in a wishful way, too nervous to stop the meds to actually try. Late one night while in bed you decide to talk about it once more.

“What if you can’t handle my episodes?”

“Such as…” He asks moving on his side propping up his head with his fist.

“Well… I’m kinda, actually no, I’m crazy without meds. You haven’t had to experience that side of me but other people have. I had so much rage in me all the time, I would snap in an instant at the smallest of things, there were days I couldn’t even get out of bed. I almost lost my job at one point.” You say rubbing your face trying not to think of the past without meds. He moves your hands and cups your cheek turning your head towards him.

“Hey now, we don’t have to do this. It’s up to you. I’d love it if we could have a version of you and me out in this world but it’s not a necessity if you don’t want to. I’m still going to be here whether we decide to do this or not”

“Oh god, the manic episodes! I’ve gotten those under control finally because of the meds but the mania was almost just as bad as the depression! Sooo many bad decisions, honestly surprised I don’t have a kid already. Definitely had a rise in my labido during the manic episodes,” with widened eyes and a panicked look you start to back track “Sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m rambling now.”

“Shhh, we all have a past,” Frankie laughs, shaking his head, “If we’re being truthful here though- if we try for a baby that would be helpful, right?”

You laugh and roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I guess you got me there.”

*****

Thinking about it and doing it are two completely different things. The trying part was definitely fun and then it happened. Those two pink lines happened a lot faster than you were expecting. What now? You have to get off your meds. That’s what you have to do now. It’s really happening. There is now a life growing inside of you. You thought you were ready for this. Mentally trying to prepare yourself for the moment the meds had to stop, the pregnancy hormones and what they’ll do, the changes your body will go through, the mindset you’ll need to have going through this, so much to prepare for. Then the first slip up happens. It took 3 weeks, 3 weeks for the first incident to happen.

“Oh, I see!” You say gritting your teeth, “So I need to have supper ready for you when you get home? Like I’m some 50s fucking housewife?!”

“That’s not what I even said. All I asked was what are we having for supper? I did not mean what are YOU making for supper.” Frankie said as calmly as he could. He never thought his army training would help him in a situation like this. They teach you how to handle dangerous territories, hostile situations, survival, and so much more. But this? No one ever trains you for this. For a hormonal, mentally ill, pregnant lady.

You can feel your face hot from anger turning into one of embarrassment and shame instead. Your bottom lip begins to tremble. You realize your mistake immediately. Not sure if it’s the mental illness or the hormones rushing through your body. It all kinda feels the same right now. Frankie notices the change immediately and rushes towards you.

“Bebé, bebé, bebé,” He says quietly wrapping his arms around you, pushing your head into the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re okay. We’ll get through this just like everything else. I’m here.”

“I hate this!” You sob

*****

Your entire pregnancy you feel as if you’re going through constant loops. The manic and depressive episodes coming in waves. You sense it before it happens, a lot like when you can smell rain before it starts. The only thing is when. When is it going to hit you? Will it be a depressive episode? Where you find it near impossible to even get up but you have to in order to make sure things are ready for this baby. Will it be a manic episode? Where you have so much energy it feels like you’re going to crawl out of your own skin but also in a way beneficial because you can get so much ready for the nursery. Will it be one of sadness, anger, anxiousness? What will it be and can you make yourself stop it? Doubtful, you never can, just like now.

**9 months later**

He plops down at the kitchen table sighing. The baby has finally gone to sleep. After 2 hours of crying there is finally silence.

“What‘s wrong?” Frankie asks

“I don’t know.” you sigh, putting the last bottle in the dish rack to dry.

He can tell something is wrong by your actions. The way you’ve been rigid. You’re so stiff. You’re so tense. You feel on edge about every little thing.

The baby is crying. Needs changed again. The baby is crying. Needs fed again. The baby is crying. Needs soothed again. The baby is crying. When is there time to sleep? So over-stimulated it’s almost too much to bear.

It’s only been 2 weeks since the baby arrived and you’re back on meds finally. As with all things though, it takes time.

“What’s wrong? Hermosa, please tell me.” he asks again

“It’s just one of those days.”

One of those days, the hatred for yourself you feel. Am I a good mom yet? Am I doing everything that needs done? Is there anything I missed? I have to be perfect on the outside. Why am I NOT perfect on the outside? Can I even pretend to be perfect? The internal battle is almost too much. You don’t want to look at him. You don’t want him to see how much your mind is making you suffer because he will see it, he always sees it now.

“Baby, please talk to me!” He pleads

You push yourself off the kitchen sink and finally turn around wrapping your arms around yourself and you know he sees it. Your mind starts racing. He thinks you’re a failure. He wants to give up on you. He doesn’t want to deal with you anymore.

He gets up and takes a step closer, you take a step back. Not ready for the comfort, the consoling, the pity party to ensue. He grabs you before you can get too far away.

“You're an amazing momma. Don’t sell yourself short!”

“Hold on,” You start to remove yourself from him, “I need to get the hamburger out for supper tomorrow.”

He furrows his brows letting you go and sighs, “Will you sit down, please?”

Reluctantly you sit down and your mind starts racing and panicking again. Why does he want me to sit? Why did he sigh? Is he mad at me? Did I do something wrong?

The baby monitor goes off and you start to get up again

“Stop, sit. I got this. Stay here.”

So you sit. You sit at the kitchen table with your mind spiraling and wondering what to expect next. Can he change the diaper? Can he make the bottle if the baby needs feeding? Can he soothe the baby to go back to sleep? What does the baby need?

You hear the crackle of the monitor

“Momma is so tired, isn’t she? She needs a break sometimes. She takes such good care of you while I’m at work.“ the baby starts to wail louder, that must be the getting diaper changed cry, “Oh yes, I know mi vida, it’s so cold and momma does it better but daddy is here and can do it too.” Low and behold you are correct!

The baby stops crying. Soothed for now. Who knows how long it’ll be before they’re awake again. Frankie comes back to the kitchen.

“Mi amor, we should get to bed.”

You nod while he grabs the baby monitor then your hand, in a daze you let him lead you to the bedroom. He helps you change your clothes for the first time in three days. Frankie grabs your brush, he gently brushes til the knots are out of your hair and he puts it in a bun the way you like. He grabs you around the waist and guides you into the bed. Laying there together, he’s whispering words of praise to you, “Eres hermosa, you’re a good momma, you’re perfecto for me and our baby” placing soft kisses to your neck with each phrase, and then you hear his soft snoring. With silent tears falling down your face you finally start to drift off to sleep, you suddenly remember you forgot the hamburger meat. You try to move but with Frankie’s warmth and tight grip surrounding you you easily give up, guess there is always tomorrow.

[natzomi]

Ok there are two things in the 3 specials with the 14th doctor that realy anoy me.

Donna beeing able to just "let it go" and beeing ok

And the two tardises at the end

So in this probably very long and maby very confusing post ill try to fix them (aka write down how i would have done it with zero ofense or bad intent towards the people who wrote the actual episodes cause i still love them)

So we start with the donna problem cause it anoyes me the most. For this the star beast happens the same up until the scene where dr. Donna lets go of her timelord powers.

Instead of that the doctor manages to "contain" the timelord part of donna (and rose) and seal it away in her brain or something (i dont know. Its docor who it doesnt need to make sense) That gives them a unknown amount of time to get it out completly.

Donna and the doctor jump into the tardis to find a way to save her, coffee gets spiled, tardis goes crazy and basicly wild blue yonder happens exactly the same (maby a bit mor angst because of the still ongoing donna problem)

Then in the giggle we start to see donna get realy effekted by it. She has a constand head ache (makes her finding out the musik thing even more impressiv) and this beeing one of the reasons the doctor wants her to go back to the tardis in the toymakers shop (not only is he facing one of his most powerfull enemys but his friend is not in the best shape to deal with it as well wich stresses him out so hard)

Then the rest of the episode goes on normaly. They meet and play angainst the toy maker, he has his musical moment, the bigeneration happens and they win.

But instead of the price for them beeing the toymaker put in a box and the second tardis (yes i consider the second tardis as a price from the toymaker deal with it) 14ths price is donna and rose geting fixed and 15th gets to put the toymaker in a box for eternaty.

This way you get a storry line that goes throu all 3 episodes and fixes donna in a more rewarding maner than the way they did it in the show.

But you may now ask: "but natzomi if you think the secon tardis 15 gets at the end is a price for the doctor but in this version they both already got a reward then how do they both get a tardis?" And to you i say: they are the same tardis. But ✨️timetravel✨️

Like i said i dont like that there are two tardises at the end of the specials (yes i also said i think its a reward from the toymaker but that doesnt mean i like it. Why? I dont know i just think its a litle lazy and you could have done more with that)

Sooooooo to fix that problem you would need to add or change like only a hand full of scene.

Basicly the entity of star beast and wild blue yonder is the same no change there. But at the beginning of the giggle you add a litle scene (like 20 seconds max.) where the doctor notices a scratch on the console or a broken button or something that basicly doesnt stop the tardis from working in any way and he writes it of as the tardis having missed that while fixing herself or that she hurried back to get them in wild blue yonder. The rest of the episode continues normaly untill the end when they disgust the problem that 14 and 15 dont want to travel together, they are standing outside the tardis talking and then Boom. Out of nowhere a second tardis apears. They didnt do anything its just there. The exakt same tardis exept for that scrath on the console that only exists on the first tardis (the one we see throut the whole episode)

15 gets the one with no scrath 14 keeps his and everyone is happy.

But now we just need three more scenes later in the season to complet this storry. One where because of some fight or acident the tardis console gets a scrath on the console (extra points if the doctor doesnt know/see)

The second where the tardis just randomly leaves one day for like an hour or so (could be the start of an episode and the tardis disapearing kicks of the plot for that story)

And the last where the tardis returns (probably at the end of that same episode)

And now to get to the point ant explain the storry/idea ill just go over the events out of the perspective of the tardis (or at least her timeline)

In wild blue yonder she leaves to repair herself. Then she lands in the avengers unit tower and goes of with 15. After she gets the scratch she goes back to save 14 in wild blue yonder and then stayes with him for the rest of his life after he passes she comes back to 15 and the continues to travel with him.

This might also give the posibility for 15 getting his own interior since 14 probably changed it a lot while he had her and either 15 then could get the "old rundown" version with all of 14ths changes or the tardis changes completly for him.

Anyways its 3 am and i cant sleep cause i cant stop thinking about the stupid timetraveling alien man :)

[omgkalyppso]

I posted this before but deleted it both because I was embarrassed and because I was worried I'd severely fucked up Astarion's age for the nth time, originally referenced from This Post. But I've seen many more analyses and I think it's right. I think it is. Anyway!

EDIT: I DID GET HIS AGE WRONG because that is the post I meant to reference. But I'm not fixing it. 232.

I was tagged by @luinen-bluewater to complete this far simpler ship meme: otp, ot3/4.

Here is the template I actually used: ot3. Here's the otp version.

I'll tag a few people to complete any of the templates referenced: Luinen, @the-eldritch-it-gay, @vlwv, @tadpole-apocalypse, @boghermit, @lemonbronze, @littleplasticrat and YOU.

I'll put the above image chopped up below the cut so it's easier viewing for the curious. And I'll ramble a bit more (bg3 spoilers, discussion of vampirism and character deaths).

In my headcanons, Astarion neither remains a spawn nor becomes the Vampire Ascendant, he becomes a vampire, and some hundreds of years later he turns Étoile to a vampire as well (this post / these headcanons need reviewing after the epilogue changes with the Crown, but we'll see).

With this in mind, I was thinking of Halsin being the longest of their lovers and how Étoile could possibly handle his death:

Étoile and Astarion occupied on some adventure / business or other, and when they return, an unaffected or perhaps impatient messenger has come to deliver news of Halsin's death. And it is so long after the others of their relevant, initial, adventuring party has passed (or maybe not. Lae'zel is a wild card (no aging on the astral plane)). Still, i can imagine one of them snapping. I think it's more interesting if it's Étoile, saying aloud that the messenger is mistaken, that surely the message is that Halsin's ill and is calling to see them a final time — Astarion's near shouting in embarrassment and worry, telling the messenger to go, calling Étoile's name, grabbing their arm until Étoile says loudly that they heard them. They heard what they said. And also sends the poor messenger away.

But then I started considering an alternative which I felt was ooc for Halsin from the base game but which I think is more possible / within the scope of his character after the addition of the epilogue. Reminder that Étoile is a paladin of the neutral evil goddess Auril, started bg3 as neutral good but whom I consider neutral evil, and is an Oathbreaker by the end of their adventure:

Halsin at like 820 or older, life expectancy 700-1000, veering wildly between peace with the natural order of things and intense discomfort with things that feel unfinished, the way they always do. And sometime with Étoile leaned against his chest he speaks of Silvanus, the Oakfather, of children and elders in all families of creatures have come and gone, of how his druidic order has changed more slowly than a tree spreads its roots, and how never in all that time did Étoile ask him to abandon his god and his (god's) comfort for the sake of vampirism and eternity. Fondly, expecting Halsin to imagine it an irritation after his speech, Étoile recalls that Astarion did, three hundred or so years ago. Étoile points out that they know the comfort they found in their worship, and they would never have sought to steal that from him (Halsin). To be a vampire is unnatural, lost to his Oakfather. Halsin points out that he has felt that Étoile has wanted to ask before, even if it has always remained unsaid, in the emptiness in their chest (lack of heartbeat), in the slant of their mouth when his (Halsin's) movement is broken with age, in how they've (Étoile has) breathed in his silver hair the more it's overcome him, something that felt respectful once, but now he's past where his end should have been, and the temptation of rekindling old strengths, the hope of another thousand years, through vampirism, shames him (Halsin) greatly. The selfishness of an old mind. Why wouldn't it have felt like a possibility a hundred years ago, two hundred, more? How could he dare to think of continuing a protection of his forest, of caring for his kin, if he lost all connection to them, and even fears what makes them the same in their morality so much that he would dare forsake it. If he was going to lose his faith, why wouldn't he have done so when he was younger and different, except that he was stronger then, in body and in mind. And yet what difference would there be, feasting upon the wild in the woods? And Étoile would be blunt about the differences, and about how there are even laws now, that they helped put in place. "They" could punish them both greatly for this, but the transformation itself would be their shared shame. He could be their first spawn, and perhaps their only, but if he wanted this now — that it was no corruption of age, just a changed heart. And they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather -- but he would have to be sure, because the fallout could be immeasurable. Étoile would try to do it permissably, but they would turn Halsin in secret, if need be. And what if "they" were like. fucking no???? and to ensure you don't do this thing we're going to keep you sealed, either in an area or in a fucking coffin until your druid has passed. (Astarion would lose his fucking mind.)

Abbreviated:

Halsin: what if i've lived long enough to see myself become the villain. Étoile: well my ship has sailed, and you know, if i meet you in hell then it's not hell

I think though that Halsin's village would have warm, clean shelters under the ground, just below the surface as if to shelter from storms, but well-used and familiar to vampires after years of shared knowledge and resources. They'd be glad to claim him.

OH! And Étoile's birthday is Oct 20th (their date of creation during early access was Oct 20 2020), I gave Astarion Sept 22nd (first day of autumn), and Halsin May 13th (he seems like a Taurus and I figured he'd be worn and irksome about having a birthday that often falls on a day associated with bad luck (Friday the 13th)).

[callsignbaphomet]

I said I was gonna talk about this so here I am, talking about it.

As of late I've been putting Angelus in a very different light. More confident, stronger (in every sense of the word), more outgoing and taking more charge and most notable not as depressive. If you've noticed (or not) since the beginning or better said the remaking of my blog I'd always tag Angelus in the most depressive posts I came across and anything depression related was instantly tagged under his tag. Any time I wrote him he was this ball of depression and anxiety but for a while now I've been changing it up especially in the AUs and they've been slowly bleeding into the Oracle version.

We're not gonna get into it here but that guy did not have an easy start to his life. He himself says his life started the second Jelani carried him out of that makeshift grave and with good reason. Lately though he's kind of changed, from being really meek and super quiet and unsure of himself to outgoing, loud and his depression has taken a backseat to the point where he even forgets it's a thing. Yeah, he has moments like with any life long illness but for the most part you can say he's beaten his demons down.

Like I said some time ago, this story I'm planning will have him meet a specific person that will add even more to his recovery. That person will actually help both him and Jelani with their internal turmoils (Angelus with being a Crossed Breed and Jelani with being the Arch-Maker).

I've never mentioned this but all werewolf breed names are kind of based on traits whether physical or something they've done.

Silver sights = their eyes glow silver and they have a bit of an ability to kind of hypnotize their prey for a few seconds (I never said any of it was clever ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭)

Mist walkers = have a bit of a passive ability to "conjure" mist and fog as a way to blen in during the hunt.

Howling ghosts = their howls can momentarily cause their prey to freeze in fear.

Stalkers = their name comes from their ability to move almost completely silently and really fast.

And then there's the Crossed breed...it was meant as an insult. You cross a Howling Ghost with a Stalker and you get a breed that's crossed. A mutt. A mongrel. A cur. You get the idea. Not a nice name but it stuck and Angelus had to live with it. Aleksey tried to squash the use of that name but even someone as influential as he couldn't stop it. At some point Angelus stopped caring and kinda did the whole "reclaim it" deal but when people wanna be hateful they will absolutely try their hardest.

In the story (I can type again lol) this person, a nature goddess, who also holds the moniker of "Mother of werewolves" isn't exactly thrilled about the name so she herself names his breed, she'd spread her influence and make it stick. She's an interesting individual, I should talk about her sometime. I've been sitting on this for weeks because I wanted something fitting and that I liked. Eventually I settled on Moonborne. So as soon as I finish said story I'll be changing the info everywhere to match the canon events tied to it. Tbh I myself am gonna start using Moonborne from now on outside of stories before this specific story.

Meeting and talking to said individual will affect both Angelus and Jelani positively and would eventually help Angelus further, at this point he was already overcoming his depression but meeting her would help further. Not to take away credit from him, you know, he struggled and was beat down but ultimately he was the one that managed to get himself out of the shit.

Honestly I just think it was high time I evolved him past the "depressed kid of the group" and let him come out of his shell. It also works to help me as well. There's a teensy tiny detail about Angelus that I have only mentioned once but it's why he is so very important to me and why he was the very first OC I made. Both he and I have grown and changed a lot since his inception when I was 14 and I think he deserves better. Both of us are still wounded and we may have our lows but yeah, I think he deserves his highs more than his lows.

Don't get me wrong he's still a lil ball of rage, fury and anger but just not as depressed lol.

[rattytaffy]

So iv slowly been working on a The Sun and Moon Show fic.

I've been on the fence about posting anything of it all. Mostly due to the fact I cant edit for spelling in google docs any more and my spelling is HORRIBLE!!!!

However a good friend convinced me to try anyway.

However on that note I am a newer TSAMS fan and am no ware near caught up with it. I have only gotten to "Eclipse's SAD ORIGIN STORY in VRCHAT" and am trying to avoid to many spoilers. I also have stayed largely away from the fandom for that reason This story starts after Luner gets his own body but before blood moon dies. This fic is about magical humanoid versions of Sun and Moon and Eclipse (security breach) seeking out TSAMS Moon for help. After this TSAMS Sun and Moon wind up mixed up in a second Celestial family's drama. OCs will be used when necessary to fill empty rolls. The fic is under the cut. If anyone finds it interesting ill try to continue it and probs post it to my AO3 when i have time and energy. I also very much need help finding a title for this >.<

It was quiet for the moment.  Lunar had his own body and was doing rather well, killcode was active but had made a deal with moon.  Sure there creator said something about a sister named earth showing up at some point, but she hadn't yet.  Blood Moon was a problem and potentially Eclipse but it was unsure if he was even out there any more.

There where problems yes but at the moment they were not in Suns face and he had a moment to do the daycare cleaning he had not had the time to do in detail.  Yes a quiet day to clean and record some videos was exactly what he needed

SHOMSH

Sun Fliped around to the ball pit as the tell tail sound of an interdental portal opening.  Moon was home Luner was home. who the hell could be coming threw there?

in the ball pit where two largely human looking figyers.  they looked alot alike as they clung to each other.  One had golden hair and clear crystals  floating in the air around his heads like suns rays.  the other had white hair, blue crystal rays that had orbs and crescents at there bottom.  Both looked haggard as they held each other. They stood even hunched over weekly taller then any human hell they were tall enough standing strait they were as tall as Sun. there skin was an inhuman color the one with golden hair and clear crystal rays looked like his body was made of tarnished gold, the other with the blue crystal rays looked to be made of silver.  There facial features were largely human and if Sun where to guess they seemed to be in there early 20's

The one with blue crystals looked at sun "Is there a Moon here? one with magic?" his tone was desperate bordering on panic

"I'm not answering that untell I know who you are!" Sun answered coming over the barrel with the gun hidden in it in his hand

"I'm Eclipse, this is my brother Sun.  There's dimensional counterparts to us here" the one with blue crystals explained watching as the robot Sun stiffen at that "Please our brother Moon is sick and dying. WE need another Moon with magic to help him" The not human not seeming to be there Eclipses counterpart Eclipse begged.

"Well I'm Sun, " Robot Sun said looking skeptical

"Thank fuck" The not robot Sun said stumbling forward and nearly falling untell Eclipse grabbed him "Please at least let us talk to him." The not robot Sun's voice became high pitched with strain.

"how can he help with your moon" Robo Sun asked skeptically

"I want to know that to" Moon, the robotic one, Said as he landed from his jump off the balcony.  It was rare another version of him or Sun came by.

Not Human Sun looked at Robot Moon like a man offered water in a heat wave. "His magic has become completely unstable. Only another Moon with magic can stabilize it it."

"Please this is the last jump we can make" begged the Not Human Eclipse

"What happens if i don't?" Robot Moon asked. He knew he probably would go help but it was best to have all the info you could. Not Human Eclipse looked sick and stuttered some before Non Human Sun took charge "We end his suffering and seal the magical wounds left in me and Eclipse before we fall ill to"

"Please" begged the Not Human Eclipse "We don't want to lose our brother" Robot Moon sighed "Fine Suns coming with me" "Thank you" Said Not Human Eclipse "Its a big jump but we have an anchor at our uncles house to make it easier" "Most of our family is there but they won't bother you while you work" Not Human Sun assured them The home was despite the oppressive air of dread, cozy. The walls were painted with abstract murals wherever a shelf or hanging display for knickknacks wasn't. There were large windows but each was covered with a blackout curtain. The many lamps were all low bathing the space in a soft warm light that wasn't really strong enough to read in. It was clear under normal circumstances this home would be welcoming and easy to relax in.

However in this moment the comfortable couches were taken up by more creatures like the Not Human Sun and Eclipse all with there heads hung. One with wrinkled dress shirt on and black slacks stood from his spot between two much younger members of his species. He looked a lot like Not Human Sun with crystal rays that spun around his head those his seemed to be made of amber rather then clear. His skin looked like Bronze and his four arms were folded close to his body clearly from nerves "Oh thank fuck" he said his voice tiered and gravelly "I'm guessing your the Moon?" The Humanoid that was sitting next to the one that got up launched to his feet. This one was small and short probably no more then 5 foot with a singular large crescent crystal in light blue floating over his head.  His blond hair was a mess and he was so shyly sunk into his huge sky blue hoodie it was hard to see much of him.  "You found another Moon who can help?" he asked desperately the voice just like Luner's "Luner lets not get in there way"  Said the other Not Human this one with liquid gold shaped into ray shaped points. Robot Sun looked at this one in fear as he realized this sounded like there Eclipse... If he hadn't gone threw puberty yet.  This one was taller then the Luner with black hair and skin that looked like copper. The Not Human Luner glared at him. "Soler is right Luner" said a truly massive one of these beings.  With 6 arms standing easily taller then Robot Sun or Moon even while sitting.  He was dressed all in black and sounded much like a very tiered KillCode.  In his arms was a small child of there species dressed in red with several spinning star shaped smooth crystals that were a blood red. The child couldn't be more then 7 and was simply refusing to let go of the larger beings coat. The Not Human Luner rolled his eyes but went to sit back down led by Soler. 

The one with rays and four arms sighed deeply and looked at the last being in the room. This one also four armed but was distinctly fem with a set of swooping crescent horns going down the back of her silver hair. "Let me take the other Moon to see ours Albedo.  You comfort Furry and our Nephews" Albedo sighed and his four arms dropped to the side. "Alright Lune." he turned to Robot Sun "Come sit with us ill enplane what i can while your Moon works" Robot Sun looked nervously at his Moon Robot Moon shrugged and followed Lune up stairs while sun went to sit with the other. The Not Human Sun and Eclipse had already stumbled to a free couch and simply collapsed in it.

Lune opened a door at the top of the homes stairs.  It was a bedroom and completely dark. On the bed was what Moon didn't need to be told was his counterpart in this world. The being had porcelain like skin that was off color like it was sick. Long black hair tangled with the feathers of raven wings that twitched slightly sometimes. The being had one crescent with and orb between its points. They weren't floating however just kinda flopped on the pillow. Robot Moon could feel the magic gushing out of the Not Human Moon like an arterial wound. "You must enter his mind with magic, Find him and stabilize his magic. Model it after your own, but if he insist something goes some ware do so. You have one chance Moon, but once your magic connects with this Moon it should stabilize him for however long you need to work." Lune said softly "Should you be able to do this all of us will be in your debt" Robot Moon nodded becoming more and more horrified at watching a version of himself so sick "yah I got it from here" Lune nodded and left the room quietly shutting the door behind her "Better get to work" Muttered Robot Moon as he reached out to the other Moon casting the spell to enter his mind.

The other Moons mind was a haze of dark clouds. In the center sat the being his hair in his face shoulders shaking in sobs.  Before him a large low table colored green with dozens of little colorful blocks no bigger then the wooden kind you would give a toddler scattered over the table, the other moon and the foggy ground below. "Hay" said Robot Moon

Slowly the other Moon looked up and for a brief moment hope flashed in his eyes. His brothers had done it his brothers had managed to find another Moon and one with magic.

The Robot Moon sat across from the Not Human Moon.  Up close it was clear the beings hair was matted, tears streaked his face. His shoulders where slumped in defeat and sorrow. "So they found one?" "Clearly" Said Robot Moon "What's all of this" he gestured to the blocks scattered about "Its a metaphorical manifestation of my magic" the other Moon said weekly picking up what looked like a minecraft grass block. "It looks like a minecraft diorama" Robot Moon said picking up a block. Like someone hitting a gong magic reverberated for a second hard between them. 

Slowly other Moon took a deep breath starting to relax. "Eh magic can appear in weird ways in the mind. Though I'm guessing MineCraft is your worlds version of CraftyBlocks" "That is such a dumb name" Robot Moon said setting the grass block down on the table where it felt right. The block glowed slightly and seamlessly attach itself to the table. "Of course MineCraft isn't much better"

[shhroomer]

13 n 17 for ur oc ?! ^_^

hi hi !! sorry this has taken so long, been a busy week wahahah

13. How important are romantic relationships to your OC? Do they prefer casual sex, short flings, or long term relationships? Do they want to get married or are they content with what they have? Or do they have no interest in romance whatsoever?

a complete hopeless romantic </3 think puppy love, hand holding and all of that ooey gooey shit LMAOOO (shes the type to watch/read romance content and just sigh and go "i wish that were me"). blast beebadoobee/laufey/every love song you can think of and thats her

She's a long term kind of gal, and when she crushes she crushes hard.

Exhibit A is when she gets a crush on one guy in elementary school where she was just completely obsessed with him without ever talking to him, since she crushed on her idealized version of him (real honestly). Though after a couple of failed attempts and actually talking to the guy and realizing he's nothing like she's imagined, the crush slowly fades away and she gets over it

And then there's Exhibit B, where she gets the "fuck im in love with my best friend" treatment, lol (take a guess who said best friend is, youll never get it)

She'd want to get married one day but probably not anytime soon! Like minimum in her 30s.

I'd like to imagine that at some point she tries using a dating app in a desperate attempt at love (to which she gets teased relentlessly for and loses 1000 aura in the process). But then after not even one date, she freaks out completely because the prospect of going to meet someone with romantic intent was so anxiety-inducing that she just cancelled every subsequent date after LMAO

sigh what can i say, she's just a girl

17. Does your OC have an enemy? What happened between them? Is it mutual or one-sided? Is it petty or serious? Is one party seeking revenge? Does one person want the other dead or are they content to hate them from afar? 

The easy answer would be Cartman LOLL I wouldn't necessarily put Hanh in the same category as Kyle in terms of hater energy though. She would definitely get into a couple of arguments and fights with him, but over time she's just........ learned its best to ignore it. No point in trying to correct someone who's never going to change. She still gets mad at him, but more often than not she would just feel pity for him. Cartman would also probably not like Hanh cause he's Cartman but would also be low key scared of her (lore reasons...... perhaps ill elaborate it in another post).

Ummm,,,, for now I can't think of anyone else who could possibly fit that role, but maybe Butters? Again, not that she'd consider him her enemy, and in fact I think they'd get along quite well on certain occasions! But I think that there would be a lot of ups and downs before they could ever close, the biggest reason being the whole misogyny thing.

[sigmashuffle]

I have a question!! So I’m a long-time BSD enjoyer but I haven’t read nearly as much of the manga as I would like. I’ve seen all of the anime though, most of it multiple times through. I didn’t realize until looking at the comments on Danny Motta’s video at how much people fucking hate Fukuchi and his sword. Up until this point I’ve thought it’s cool as hell and he, along with the sword, bring something kinda new and fun to the series.

HOWEVER, I know BSD is FAR from perfect and there’s a lot of dumb shit that faithful manga readers have a better perspective on. Would you mind explaining why Fukuchi and the sword are such a sore point? I hope this isn’t too much to ask. I just really want to know.

Hi anon! Its not too much to ask at all!

Unfortunately the answer to that is best explained in the context of ALL the issues I have with the manga/show so... this is going to be v long... and im done giving this show more credit than it deserves but don't take it that seriously lol I hesitate to even consider my pov to be on par with the average manga reader but ig we'll see how my opinions hold up after i post

And disclaimer: I don't mind answering this but ONLY with the context that this is 100% my opinion (as of late, bsd as a whole has just been REALLY bugging me so im just gonna take this opportunity to explain my gripes since most of them apply to or tie greatly into fukuchi's character/design/motivations/development)

I simply don't want anyone to come for my head bc of anything I say here tho, bc I feel like I may disagree with a large portion of the fanbase but WITH THAT SAID...

***from this point forward there will be a few spoilers from s5e11***

Here are my gripes with BSD...

1. BSD and its "magic system"?

bsd powers suffer from what i like to call a "lack of scope"

granted this could be due to the fact the story isnt complete HOWEVER im sure any anime fan can tell you this story doesnt feel like it is leading anywhere its just... going... (ill get to the awful pacing later)

for comparison sake im going to also talk about The Case Study of Vanitas since it is the world I have the most experience in

what does BSD not have that VNC does?

simply put, the magic system doesnt reinvent itself character to character

in VNC if you have an ability it is EXCLUSIVELY connected to "manipulations of the world formula" which is essentially elemental control (fire, ice, gravity, etc.) based on a sci fi version of chemistry (alchemy, if you will) and this rule applies to EVERY CHARACTER in VNC

its a structure that starts developing from the beginning

BSD however introduces a WHOLE NEW magic system for each character

some character abilities are similar, yes, and can be classified as such, but many cannot be classified

again a magic system doesnt NEED to have strict rules (its actually more boring that way if the rules are too simple) but it DOES need RULES... and solid ones

otherwise its tempting to use the MAGIC system to fill in PLOT RELATED gaps

and if that system isnt defined, well, to me that looks like lazy/sloppy/illogical writing

if you like the whiplash of not knowing whats gonna happen next, fine, (i did for awhile too!) up until the unpredictability started to come from powers that as a whole look like an authors way of trying to write themselves out of their own plot hole

ie: time travel

specifically time travel that isnt introduced FROM THE BEGINNING...

2. Fukuchi and his "deus ex machina" sword

time travel is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to pull off and especially by my standards

I have watched Doctor Who since 2008, before I even knew what tumblr was I was doing my own solo fandom stuff (basically just watching a LOT of youtube video essays) but basically I have high standards when it comes to time travel in stories

Amenogozen has the POTENTIAL to be a great weapon if used in a logical context... but theres one thing the sword (and BSD as a whole) does not follow

RULES

time travel is TRICKY mostly bc it has consequences... in BSD fukuchi gives nothing in exchange for his powers

lets even toss time travel aside for the moment

what is Fukuchi's innate special ability? Mirror Lion... (read below)

its essentially an attack multiplier of x100 at CLOSE RANGE

lets say your average untrained human punch is 150psi (pounds per square inch) which is the pressure equivalent of a point 100m below the surface of the ocean...

with Mirror Lion's multiplier you get 15,000psi which would be 10,000m or 10 kilometers

a pressure equivalent to the deepest part of the ocean (i dont need to remind you how powerful water is... we all know about oceangate)

MY POINT IS HE'S OVERPOWERED AS FUCK

dont even get me started on his motivations too

im glad we got backstory for him in ep 11 and im sure we are just supposed to sum up his motivations into "he was willing to pay the high price for world peace" but tbh royally fuck that

dont TELL me thats what he believes

PROVE to me how you made that conclusion

also the only reason he even dies is becasue he wants fukuzawa to kill him... we dont have any sense of accomplishment for stopping his scheme because NOW the scheme has been PLOPPED right into fukuzawa's lap which fukuchi intended to do from the start... apparently

and this seemingly retroactive decision-making is a problem A LOT of bsd characters have, especially the one and only character i hate THE MOST... *drumroll*

3. Osamu fucking Dazai

oh boy...

I have thought long and hard about Dazai... im not going to lie, after ch109 and ep10 I was about to admit Dazai might actually have grown on me BUT

this was all erased after 6 minutes into ep11 when he was confirmed to indeed NOT be dead

Dazai just *knows* everything thats gonna happen

Chuuya was never a vamp... he knew this... and somehow his ENTIRE escape plan was just hinging on that? bc yknow... hE kNeW fRoM tHe bEgiNniNg

OSAMU DAZAI IS A PLOT DEVICE USED *ONLY* TO FILL IN NARRATIVE HOLES

HE IS A WAY TO FORCE PROGRESS ON A STORY WITHOUT EVER GIVING A REAL EXPLANATION

HIS CHARACTER IS AN INSULT TO INTELLIGENCE

His character is paper thin, with motivations that do not translate to his actions

and frankly... im tired of it...

additionally... if sigma doesn't survive, all of Meursault was literally useless... so why pick him for nikolai's prison break game?

even if he does, it means the ONLY thing we get out of the arc is information about fyodor... as to WHAT information, who knows... but regardless, a villain arc that has been going on for TOO GODDAMN LONG (40 chapters?) should have a resolution that isnt "i knew what was gonna happen all along"

we spent the whole time being SHOWN that fyodor and dazai were of equal intelligence levels... or at least higher than what dazai was used to dealing with

if dazai could just predict shit like this from the beginning why was fyodor a villain for so long? makes ZERO sense, dazai would've defeated him AGES ago... what makes THIS time any different?

also... why is he even suicidal? yeah ok the author was... but like... why make it such a present character trait?... so we can fake kill him over and over? idk

can you tell i dislike him?

4. THEORY vs PRACTICE

I am a "show dont tell" girlie

ALL BSD DOES IS "TELL TELL TELL" ...its infuriating

almost every power/special ability has an element of "trust me bro" ok SOME OF THEM DONT but most of them do

ie: atsushi is a tiger (what does that even mean), kenji gets strong when he's angry (ok hulk?), and THIS JUST IN we STILL don't know how fyodor's ability works... and now he's DEAD?... we also dont know almost any detail about sigma's ability and he might ALSO be dead

but thats only regarding abilities...

when it comes to writing stories using people of high intelligence it is VERY difficult to not get into the aforementioned "trust me bro" mindset which BSD does REPEATEDLY

im not listing off every example but off the top of my head is one scene from s4...

ranpo explains his plan for saving yosano loosely involved "replacing the engine [of an armored vehicle] with an electric motor and playing engine sounds over the speakers so no one noticed" ...and only i can pick this claim to shreds lol (i engineer electric vehicles for a living) but this is so wrong on so many levels...

Internal combustion engines and Electric motors are IN NO WAY EQUIVALENT

ranpo would never be able to power a vehicle the size of an armored truck with a motor that he installed an hour before the truck was put to use... he just wouldnt... the vehicle is too big... ugh *facepalm*

and dont even get me started on batteries...

MY POINT IS

if you want to write some *genius move* at least TRY to do some research to make the action believable

thats like saying "oh yeah i ran out of gas so a threw a couple AA batteries into my gas tank until i could make it to the station"

BUT THAT WOULDNT FLY BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE KNOW THATS NOT HOW CARS WORK

*sigh*

5. Manga Readers' POV

the.chapters.are.too.short

especially for a monthly released manga

i am relatively new to anime and manga... like late 2020, so I am part of the "new gen" I guess you could say so i know i dont have any right to complain about pacing in comparison to like... the dressrosa arc of One Piece

with that said, not enough in bsd BUILDS on itself

it all feels like a self "one-up"

its been too long since any of my large questions have been answered

honestly its rare that any of my questions are ever answered because the narrative rarely follows logical progression anyway and any scenes thats ARE useful are cut from the anime

characters do not *develop* their powers, they just simply ARE

whatever ability you are born with limits what you can do and thats that... which leads me to...

6. Types of Ability Users

the most coherent thing i think i can speak on so this will be short lol

there are 3 types... i think (excluding lightnovels, i have not read 15, Stormbringer, or any others)

(1) natural abilities (ones that can be nullified by dazai or stolen like in Dead Apple)

(2) human/god fusions (chuuya) -> but this can ALSO be nullified???

(3) when an ability isnt an ability (it CANT be nullified) -> ie: whatever the fuck Lovecraft is

Sigma -> ??? (he could be part of the natural ability category but like... it feels weird to put him there)

but... there is never a comparison between these types so im not even sure of this "list" is exhaustive

this is just another way the story is leaving open ways to dig itself out of a plot hole... which isnt fun... bc now there are no stakes... there are no rules... its disorganized chaos where anything can happen

everyone will always be fine because there is a way out of everything

and thats BORING... and for me, downright infuriating

fukuchi likely falls into the first category... but then again he's also using a tool from another ancient ability user... so does he even fit there?

7. Anime Adaptation

rushed

rushed

RUSHED

and i know why...

BSD is so thin on STABLE plot the story would feel like its dragging if Bones wasn't animating at the pace they are (see Manga Readers' POV)

so to try and counteract the feeling that nothing is happening they are cutting "irrelevant" scenes BUT ALSO important portions relevant ones (ie: aku's death)

do all the plot points from the manga happen? by definition, yes... but the nuance the manga has is lost almost entirely

Atsushi doesn't physically throw an injured Aku's arm over his shoulders... Aku doesn't smile upon his demise... Aku doesn't reach out through the fog of the fire extinguisher (the adaptation of this scene was personally my last straw)

and then we have the new anime content...

why did we tack on an additional fight? zero context... didn't even tie up loose ends from fukuchi like...

is sigma alive?

are chuuya/dazai/nikoali still in france? europe?

is fyodor going to return in some way? (we know nothing of his motives, ability, or MOST importantly, what information did he learn from Sigma??? his ability is an EXCHANGE so why even have that happen if they are both dead anyway?) why would you fucking kill off a character like this

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE ARC??? The mere reason I'm asking this question is, in and of itself, unacceptable

we MAY get an answer later... but its been 20 episodes... why the fuck dont we know anything about the arc we just completed? ...ludicrous

Final Thoughts

BSD does not have enough reliable rules in its magic system to form a solid foundation of... anything

Fukuchi is a disjointed character trying to do too many things at once, he doesn't have solid motivations, and his arc provides more questions than it answers

Osamu Dazai is not a character... he is a plot device used like a saving throw in DND

BSD frequently insults my intelligence to cover it's ass in its storytelling

being a manga reader is like taking 30 days to rip off a tiny band aid... the pacing is unbearable

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt… he gave himself up... so the sword was just to make him overpowered... it was pointless

the anime adaptation was rushed, scenes cherry picked, and plot narratively thinned into water... there was no depth this season

In my opinion...

There are very few redeeming characteristics about BSD now

The few meaningful scenes we do get in the manga are overwritten by later context that negates any emotion initially associated with the scene

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt... he gave himself up

Dazai is the worst written character I have ever read

It is very likely i drop this story entirely

If I seem salty/upset/etc. its because I am. However is NOT directed at you, it is simply a manifestation of my disappointment in this story.

...

And there you have my opinion... in way too many words... thanks for sticking around if you made it this far im impressed bc i am salty as hell lol

fin

[creativebrainrot]

Hi I haven't posted about my baby girl in for-fucking-ever

Maelgwyn has such an interesting relationship with his gender. He uses He/Any pronouns right? Most people default to He/Him for him. He's fine with that, he does enjoy hearing He/Him used for him. But I think if you referred to him by She/Her pronouns, even once, genuinely, in passing it would make him realize so so many things.

He has been forced to be SUCH a hypermasculine version of himself. (His persona as The Desert Beast.) He's wrapped himself in these myths for years, decades even. It takes a lot to unlearn all of the things he's ingrained in himself. He had bad experiences with lovers who thought less of him for being a normal person, entirely because it "wasn't what the beast would be." He internalized so much of that shit.

Everyone who got bored of him, Maelgwyn, because he wasn't what they thought dating "The Desert Beast" would be like. Everyone who thought less of him for crying, daring to have emotions, the absolute audacity he had to. Enjoy, domestic life. Basically. It was not actually a lot of people. Only five or less, which isn't a lot in the grand picture of all of his lovers and hook-ups he's had. But everything they did or said, how they treated him in the short time he knew them, fucked with him.

You call Maelgwyn by She/Her pronouns and he realizes, that he has never been assumed to be feminine at all, not even once in his life. Yet he does, actually, identify with some "feminine traits." All he has ever wanted, was to be someone supportive sweet caring partner. He has just wanted to be someone's golden retriever but every time he acted like that in the past, it was stifled. He was muted, scolded. He never even got the chance to realize what HE even wanted for himself, he had to live in Survival Mode for so so very long.

I think if someone, saw his pronouns, He/Any. Chose to call him by She/Her, she'd break. She has never been assumed to be anything other than the most Manly Man to ever Man, and by GENUINELY without any ill intent, calling her by She/Her, you'd completely rewire her brain. Maelgwyn finally realizes, "You can do what ever you want for ever." She gets to realize that she is in fact still a bisexual nonbinary man, and she does in fact deserve to experience the joy of skirt go spinny, while still being terrifying.

Because here's the thing; The Desert Beast IS Maelgwyn. He shares the traits associated with the desert beast because they are NOT two different people, the myths are based off of him after all. BUT. He's spent so so so long playing the exaggerated version of himself, that he's lost sight of who he is underneath the myth. He IS his persona but his persona is a version of all of himself that's been played up, to the point that Maelgwyn feels like he is actually nothing like the beast at all. The Desert Beast is an entirely different guy in his head. (For a long while, he doesn't think like this in present time.) But like. No? That's still Maelgwyn. He just. ough. He's got SUCH a complicated relationship with himself & his legendary bounty hunter title & persona.

He IS a flirt, he is charismatic when he wants to be, he is dangerous, ruthless, a good man, a protective man, a quiet man, he is so much and more. But he's fooled himself into thinking that those aren't his traits. They are.

Bit of a tangent. Got distracted a little lol.

He's been playing that exaggerated version of himself for so long that he forgot to think about what he wanted or even liked to feel. In fact one of his biggest flaws is never actually processing his emotions. Trahearne helps him with this, in the most delicate way possible. But he helps. Gwyn is, better, about handling his emotions in present time but he's still. Not, good. At it.

He still hates flowy fabric, they make him feel like he's naked. He needs his armor, that's his safety. The weight of it. It feels right. Normal fabrics are BadFeel for him. He'd still own a cute goth dress or two after "The SheHer Gender Moment."

And the absolute panic that would set into his very bones and soul upon his first fearful thought after this Gender Moment, "what if this is the breaking point?" He's so so so tiney and small about being loved, you have no idea. He is such a little tiney scarred scared feral kitten when in love, even after THREE decades of loving Trahearne and being loved back he STILL has that worry set so deep within him that he'll never be enough. He'll never be worth staying for. He will never truly honestly be wanted back by someone he loves.

Which, logically, is a silly thought for the grey morals bounty hunter to have about his grey morals boyfriend who was fine with the long long history of bounty hunting for blood money thing. I mean. Trahearne didn't bat an eye when Maelgwyn invited him to his VIP room in a local syndicate den for their FIRST REAL DATE. so. I think it's okay babe. The wearing a dress and using she/her sometimes, probably, won't be what does it.

But that trauma is so deeply embedded in him that that first thought sets off so so many more in the exact same vein of worry.

Trahearne notices. He comforts. He reassures. He, another guy who's totally comfortable with GenderFuckery, probably even suggests, "We can just. try things. slowly." Trahearne of ALL motherfuckers is NOT gonna be the one that makes fun of Maelgwyn for this, absolutely not.

It's such a slow process of Maelgwyn so very very gently warming up to new things and trying them out. Slow motion pace. He is babygirl to me. I love her. im giving her the entire goddamn world and kissing her on the forehead about it. he is my fucking blorbo ultimate.

[autobot-ratchet]

Preface + Death of Optimus Prime

Alright. So it's been a few years since I've looked at transformers comics and I wanna do a re-read. I am a different person than I was when these comics were first being released and I wanna go back and look at them again with all my cool and epic literary analysis skills and newfound confidence in said skills. Truth be told, a lot of this is gonna be shit I already thought even way back in the 2010s but was too nervous to voice it because the fandom was god awful lmAO

I've made posts about it before, but the transformers fandom specifically (and the IDW transformers comic fandom even more specifically) is the one that hurt me the most. I was right at the beginning of my “social justice journey” if you wanna call it that, I had just started to realize that a lot of things I never questioned and thought were normal were, in fact, hurting people, and was highly interested in learning (or in some cases unlearning) as much as I could to stop myself from hurting/alienating the people around me. I cared very much about not being a bigot of any kind, even accidentally.

MTMTE was a comic that was also interested in much the same, depicting all kinds of people (namely gay folks, trans folks, folks with mental illnesses, etc) without being a thoughtless shithead about it. So naturally, this attracted the most obnoxious discourse you can possibly imagine lmAO All these marginalized people saw themselves being treated respectfully in a piece of media they liked and felt the need to either protect that or tear it down for not being good enough in their eyes. And the way they did that was by writing long posts detailing their interpretations of characters/story lines, stating them as the one true interpretation, and declaring that anyone who disagrees is disagreeing out of bigotry against them specifically. IE, “This character is [minority] because I am [same minority] and I see a lot of myself in them so if you don't like this character or don't think I'm right about them that means you don't like me and therefore you are a bigot who hates me for being [minority].”

To give an even more specific example, a take I saw incredibly often was “Starscream is an abuse victim whose bad behavior is the direct result of his abuse at the hands of Megatron because I would also like to betray and/or kill my abuser so if you don't absolve Starscream of everything he's ever done or god forbid you commit the crime of liking Megatron, you are an abuse apologist and you think I deserved it.” Nowadays, I can recognize that take as complete horseshit and the OP wildly projecting onto Starscream, but back in the 2010s, I had no idea how much of what I thought was normal was secretly bigotry that had just been normalized, so I took shit like that seriously. I figured, “Well, they ARE that so if they see that in the character, it must be the truth. How would I know that kind of thing? I'm only just realizing that I don't actually know anything! So I should listen to people when they say things like this.”

And the more posts I found telling me what I'm meant to think about the way the comics were written, the stupider I felt because when I read the same comics, I did not pick up on any of the problematic elements they were talking about. Again, I now know it's because they were projecting hardcore and were making up their own versions of the characters, but back then I truly thought I was the stupidest human being alive because they HAD to be right. They talk about social justice all the time, so they must be way more knowledgeable than me and my inability to pick up on the same things they do is a personal failing on my part. Even when it got to the point where they got so wrapped up in their own delusions that I was like “Hang on now, I don't know about all that,” I was still too scared to even voice my own opinions in my own space because I didn't want to get hit with the “bigot/apologist” label and get dogpiled by a bunch of strangers trying to enact justice upon me. If even one spiteful person looking for easy clout found me, it would've happened. It still COULD happen, shit, it's even worse nowadays.

It genuinely fucked up my self esteem for a long time. When the comic inevitably failed to be pure and good enough to be acceptable to like (read: deviated enough from peoples' headcanons that they felt betrayed that canon was not the same as what they wanted to happen), I felt like an idiot at best for continuing to like it and a horrible person at worst for continuing to support such problematic content. And that sucks! It sucks that my naivety and willingness to listen was taken advantage of for some fucking internet brownie points! And part of me will never forgive the transformers fandom for that!

If we're being honest, all fandoms were starting to go down the discourse shitter so that was gonna happen to me no matter what, but for me, it was transformers comics bullshit that fucked me up so here we are. I am now going to re-read these comics and write down my unfiltered thoughts and feelings and anyone who wants to fuck with me can die.

Death of Optimus Prime

damn we really start this shit with Optimus being like “aw fuck I'm still alive” after having done a heroic sacrifice

Optimus called the Circle of Light a cult, which I guess I could understand what with it being so insular but damn dude, harsh, it ain't quite all that

oh lord the Cybertronian politics is making me have fandom war flashbacks lmfAO and especially now that I'm older and have experienced a lot more political fuck shit, no wonder Certain Parts of this fandom were fucking insufferable, people literally tied their actual personal politics to these fictional characters, I cannot fucking imagine what it would've been like if this came out in today's fandom climate, christ

so from the perspective of everyone else in the series, Drift was one of the most terrible Decepticon warriors to ever live, then he got indoctrinated into (what they believe is) a cult, then he just kind of accidentally became a wrecker and thus an Autobot. Damn, no wonder no one really talks to him lmfAO he is 31 flavors of freak and they don't even know where to start with him even if they can get over the Decepticon thing. Absolutely hysterical that he turns out to be completely correct about the Knights of Cybertron

it is actually so funny how done Optimus is with all this shit he just dumps the matrix halves into Bee and Roddy's hands and fucks right off, no words, good fuckity bye