#worse imagine if it was someone you cared about
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Please Johnny come back to me.
4 months, 14 days, and 36 minutes… thats how long it had been since Johnny was KIA.
That much time had passed and yet his heart still ached, the feeling of feelings hitting harder each time he tried to suppress them. Simon wasn't a therapy guy, he was the kind of guy to suppress everything until it came to much to bare, have a mental break down for a day, and then continue the same pattern over and over again. That was until Johnny at least… Because with Johnny it felt like he had some comfort, someone he could keep from the path he had been on… He kept Johnny off the path of darkness only for Johnny to end up on the path of death himself.
Makes sense to be fair… that the Ghost would lead his Johnny to death, what a person he was… He was the cause of this, death follows him around like a looming cloud and it takes those he cares about. It hurt him so bad, it made him ache, it made every part of his heart, soul, and mind ache with such pain.
Ghost grumbled opening his eyes, he looked at Gaz who sat across him right next to the captain. They were being send out on a mission, it was a mission involving some damn gas, the same gas that Makarov had been working on… Fucking Makarov, at least that prick was dead and gone…
Price grumbled fixing his weapon a bit, Ghost gaze went towards his captain, his captain who he was able to save at least… but just that once…
"You with us Ghost?" Price grumbled looking at the Lieutenant.
Ghost simply nodded.
"alright, we have to be quick.. in and get a hold of the gas, its in the southern part of the warehouse, Simon you will head straight there, Gaz and I will take the east and west wing and together will take the north after shipping the gas out." Price reminded Ghost of the mission and its details. That was good. Very good.
~~
They had landed a bit of a distance away from the warehouse what ever it took to get this damn mission done… Ghost slowly approched hte building, knifing anyone in his way. He wouldn't use his gun until he got the go ahead form Price.
5 dead, more to come…
Ghost with cold eyes watched as another man got to close to the shadows, he was quickly delt with a quick throat slash and he was gone. Left to gurgle on his blood and die in the mud. Simon crushed his radio in front of him watching the fear and light leave his eyes. Every time he did this now he only imagined Makarov's face, that brought back satisfaction to him.
He moved forward going into the building, making sure as to be as silent and stone cold as the reaper that stole Johnny from him. The dim green lights of the building gave it an old chill, like something was wrong here, something deeper then what Simon could tell.
With his feet on the move, with his whole body on the move he made it to the room where the gas was being held and created. A lab.. with tubes large enough to hold a person of his size as well.. "Found the gas, waiting for orders" Ghost grumbled into his coms as he went through the room. He found the papers on how the gas is made, as well as… human experimentation.. tch… of fucking course.
Ghost read through the report, skimming it a bit.
Gender: Male Height: 187.9 cm tall (6'2) Nationality: Scottish
Ghost heart froze for a moment, thinking of Johnny as he skimmed over the nationality of this person…
His heart ached thinking about Johnny, his Johnny… His sergeant… With a deep heavy heart he took the papers as well, they would be useful for later in research and evidence.
He put the files next to the gas before walking around the room, moving some things around before he found a strange rug… He grumbled moving it to the side, bring it away to reveal a door hatch.
"found a door hatch" Ghost grumbled over the coms, their was no response from the others… something was fucking wrong, deadly wrong…
The silence over coms made this whole mission worse. At least until Gaz's voice grumbled over the coms, "copy, be there soon"
Price gave a quick gruff, "search the room."
ok… so they were okay and fine, not dead… that's good, he doesn't need nor want anymore dead teammates after all. Ghost opened the door hatch moving his night vision goggles on turning them on as he headed down the stairs. This could be more storage for gas, meaning they could have underestimated how much these fuckers have.
Once he reached the bottom of the flight of stairs he continued through the room, shifting through the stuff around it was only wooden crates of the gas no doubt. He frowned, before noticing the door. He frowned scowling in anger and rage. How many rooms of gas did they need? What were they planning, what were they doing?!
Ghost went to the door trying the handle.
Locked… Of fucking course it was.
"Found a locked room, breaching now" Ghost grumbled before kicking the damn door down. He had to move, get through this room before returning back up their to guard what they had come for.
He looked through the room, raising his weapon. It was dark without his night vision goggles thus him having to do a overtake of a humanoid figure…
Wait… No… it couldn't be…
Slowly the person turned around the slights dimly flickering on in a dark green color..
"Johnny?" Ghost croaked out before he attacked, the man he loved was alive but fighting him.
No… No… NO!
Ghost dropped his gun instead taking Johnny's wrist when another punch was thrown and took him down to the floor. He had the other pinned down underneath him as he stared into the others eyes… His brown hazel eyes that were like dark voids peering into Johnny's eyes… they were the peaceful ocean blue he knew and loved, they were this strange green glowing version.. What the hell… what the absolute hell.
Johnny was under him glaring with those alien green eyes, this mask on his face was a black metalic color with clear holes showing the same green color running through it.
"Who the hell is Johnny?" He growled.
Johnny didn't remember his own name, he didn't remember him… he forgot them… damn it.. damn it.. it hurts so bad.. it hurt… knowing that, hearing that…
Simon knew it was for the best the Johnny forgot about him and how he failed him, but he was selfish.. Selfish like his father in the way he didn't want Johnny to forget him. Selfish in the way that Simon wanted Johnny to remember him, remember all of them, and everything that they had been through. Both good and the bad…
Simon's heart raced through his chest, aching in pain but love in seeing his Johnny alive once more…
"You are Johnny… You…" His voice was shacky as with one hand he held both of Johnny's the other removing that blasted mask that exhaled that damn blasted gaz. "You are Johnny, John 'soap' MacTavish, sergeant to the 141… the most crazy lad I have ever had the pleasure of dealing with… Johnny…" Simon mumbled looking at the other, he felt tears building up, the same damn tears he had been holding back since he held the others bleeding body…
their were so many questions running through his mind as to how he was standing here infront of them, well infront of him.. and not really standing but pinned down but thats the main idea.
The voices over his coms came through but he couldn't hear them. He could hear his captain or gaz asking for a report on what was going on…
"Johnny.. Johnny please come back to us… to me…" Simon all but begged. Simon was nothing but a past memory without Johnny…
A Ghost was nothing without a person to follow…
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#call of duty au#call of duty modern warfare 2#call of duty fanfic#oneshot#maybe#it might not be a oneshot idk#ghoap#ghostsoap#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#john price#angst
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Why do people like Lily? From what we've seen of her in the books she seems like a charming and good hearted person but also someone who is shallow, judgemental, a social climber, a classist and immature. Why do people make her out to be this feminist, kind hearted role model that is always morally above others and everyone likes her because she is oh so kind and great? It makes me cringe. From the text we can see that she had a black and white thinking, was shallow and probably self righeous, always thinking she's right and not being able to see the perspective of others. (We can see this in her interactions with Snape) So why do people love her? Do people really need a 'girl boss' in every fandom? There always seems to be one that's just made up by the fans. It looks like people just need a character they can point at and say "see we care about female characters, this one is oh so great, she can't do no wrong, worship her please." 🙄
Look, no offence, but... what? 'Shallow, classist, judgmental, social climber' what? Where are you getting this? Because she stopped being friends with a boy who literally called her a slur? Because she criticised that boy for defending and befriending people who were bigoted against people like herself? Like sorry but I think I'm entirely the wrong person to come to with this kind of thing. I fully disagree. I could not disagree more.
Black and white thinking? The opposite. Lily remained friends with someone who espoused the exact opposite of her beliefs for way too long. Not just her beliefs, but her right to exist. She tolerated Snape (and I do love him as a character, but still) way more than she should have, objectively speaking. That's the opposite of black and white. She was way too understanding, way too empathetic with him. She didn't judge Snape hard enough, in my opinion.
Nah, look idk what you were hoping with this ask but I'm sorry, I'm generally a staunch Lily defender and I heavily disagree with what you're saying. It's not that I think she's a perfect person, she certainly has her flaws like anyone. I don't think that she should be idealised, I think she should be given complexity like any character, but neither do I think she's classist (esp since she's meant to be working class) nor particularly judgmental nor shallow nor immature. I love Snape but he was terrible to her. He befriended people who wanted her dead. Lily didn't owe him anything, and her """righteousness""" as you say is not only entirely justified, but objectively speaking she should have dropped that bitch way earlier.
Why do people (including myself) love Lily? Because she was a good person. Because she was brave and decent and kind. She remained friends with Sev for years despite peer pressure and common sense and she defended him without hesitation. She dedicated her life to fighting for what was right. Lily is a good person. She's not inherently, morally above others, she's not perfect but she was a good, kind person, the way her son is a good, kind person.
Not that difficult to understand imo, unless you have way higher standards for male characters than female characters. Not everyone has to like or be interested in Lily but pretending she's somehow worse/less worthy of interest than Snape, James, Sirius, Regulus, etc (and I imagine you've got to be a fan of some of these marauders era characters if you're reading my blog) because she dropped a guy who wanted to join a fascist group that wanted her dead is absolutely ridiculous.
Lily is so kind and great. Her act of bravery and sacrifice is what kickstarts the entire HP series. Sorry. Like absolutely not, I completely disagree with you about Lily's character. People liking a female character doesn't mean that they have a shallow 'girl boss' approach to that character, and I find that a condescending explanation for why people like myself might be fans of Lily Evans. Maybe, and you perhaps should consider this, us fans of Lily just enjoy and are interested in female characters the exact same way we might be interested in male ones.
Look I don't want to be mean, but can't you tell from my icon, which is clearly supposed to be Lily, that I love Lily? Lily is one of my favourite HP characters. I really don't want to be rude but I'm absolutely the last person who'd share this viewpoint.
#sorry i know this is a bit of a rude/blunt response but i just dislike the tone of this#im not usually so rude in a reply but i also dislike the idea that its 'other' ppl who like lily. like that's me. i love lily.#lily evans#it's always 'lily has to see it from sev's point of view' but nobody ever expects sev to see it from hers!#it's so blatant#zero expectation for sev to literally understand that his mates hate her kind#and that the group he aspires to join wants to kill/subjugate ppl like her#but poor sev! because lily that big meanie questions the fact that he's friends with ppl who hate her#and lily i guess needs to be way nicer and more understanding to sev than sev ever is to her. the double standard is so obvious#lily
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is it strange that i want to know what cardan like thinks abt like everything- especially mortal shit. like i want to see what he thinks of different films, music, celebrities, books, or mortal clothing, etc. like idk i just obsess over what he’d think about certain things.
Random faerie lore- specially cardan/ faeries in the mortal world
LOL i hope not because i do that! also thank you for asking this, i was hoping someone should ask something that would allow me to spew my faerie in mortal world knowledge out!
now- honestly cardan and that Alice and wonderland book is what made me fall head over heels for him
i remember seeing it on TikTok years ago, about how Alice and wonderland is a mortal book that mirrors Jude’s life, and that cardan saw Jude in Alice.
and i hadn’t even considered it before, i was young and didn’t gaf abt little details, but look at me now, delving into every little thing abt that series.
since cardan is fae, it’s natural for us to wonder at how he sees the world and Jude.
below are some things i PERSONALLY think he may like or dislike about the mortal world.
i think he’d really enjoy learning the history of human music, i think he would like classical music (seems most likely)
i love to think that he’d get obsessed w how Jude is Latina and want to learn more about that part of human culture. I feel like he’d encourage Jude to do so too, since elfhame is all about HIS culture and whatnot.
he’d probably also like casually reading about human history, cross referencing it with faerie history and stuff, but also having to unlearn any biases both humans and faeries may write in their history books
i don’t think he’d like celebrities much, since he isn’t fond of “fake people” and that’s pretty much every celeb (sorry) BUT i think he would enjoy watching their drama lol, if it were like the early 2000s or even 2010s i feel like he would have fun w that sort of reality show vibe
he’d probably adore human poetry, like the old ones, and he’d probably enjoy older movies too. i can imagine him enjoying Shakespeare (bro would love Romeo and Juliet and compare it to him and Jude) and liking the ballet or marching bands or something like that (😭)
anyway i just know he LOVES Jude’s mortal underclothes, lowkey he’d probably love the thought that she’s the only one in elfhame wearing them (he’d also probably see them as sorta sexual, only because when i think of faerie underclothes i think of a nightgown and possibly a corset, which doesnt show a ton of skin, whereas a bra and panties are wayyy more revealing)
you didn’t mention food, but there’s a ton of salt in mortal food, but i still think he’d eat it anyway. i guess the way salt works is that it just dulls magics(?) like it won’t physically harm him, but his magic won’t be very strong, like a depressant drug or something (is that a weird comparison 😭) BUT it reminds me of how nevermore is like an enhancer drug, so does that mean nevermore is the opposite of salt? (Literally just spewing nonsense atp)
but he liked dumplings, i think he would like other Asian foods. he’d hate pickles bc of the salt content, and he’d hate chips for the same reason i feel like. he’d probably love a good fruit salad (giggling at this) and trying all the human fruits that they don’t have in elfhame (also deserts)
anyway faeries have to be careful about chemicals, vivienne buys all organic shampoos and body washes, so we can assume she has to be careful with the same. it’s to be noted that her and oakey eat fish sticks and chemically dyed cereal, AND also pain pills? so i guess what they consume doesn’t have to be completely natural?
Add on: in the modern faerie tales, faeries cannot smoke cigarettes or they pretty much die on the spot according to roiben, when Kaye takes a drag her eyes water she she starts choking. ALSO corny in tmft, sprays a faerie in the face w a cleaning spray and bro dies on the spot so…
personally, i think the more checmially foods they eat, the worse they feel, and the lower energy they have. faeries seem to run on the foods they eat like it’s fuel, soo eating human food is probably not too great for them. vivi seems to be doing fine tho(perhaps bc she’s half human AND she grew up eating that stuff? Same w Kaye). Makes sense why oaks a vegan as well in tsh.
anyway imagining cardan in the mortal world is funny but weird, like he totally doesn’t fit lol
what i can remember from htkoelths, he seemed used to the strangeness. like he expected it.
since elfhame seems so small compared to the mortal world, i assume that some faeries are pretty casually human like, in terms of clothing and even behaviors (based on the bomb, kaye, etc)
also a lot of them (the ones not from elfhame or living on the isles) live nearby humans, so they’re pretty used to them I’d say.
It makes sense for the fae to be used to humans, since they’re everywhere. they’re also in elfhame, whether they’re glamoured or no.
anyway, cardan had access to the mortal world, so who knows how often he really went and dropped off slaves, or just went to visit.
balekin probably took him once and was like “damn little bro, look at all this hot garbage! Humans suck so I’m gonna use them to belittle you! haha”
anyway, i refuse to put anything else in my drafts bc im scared my drafts are slowly disappearing (BTW someone sent me a Locke and cardan ask the other day, and IT GOT DELETED after i wrote half of it, so if it was you that sent it, resend it perchance bc i forgot what the question even was)
on that note, thank you for the ask! this was messy and randomly thrown together lol but i liked writing it 🫶 feel free to add on as always!!
#tfota#the cruel prince#cardan greenbriar#the folk of the air#tcp#the modern faerie tales#holly black#jurdan#vivienne tfota#vivi duarte
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1. Disabled people should have every right to all the options able people have. Telling us to choose a different store is rude and dehumanising.
2. My town littreally only has 1 store. It is self check out
3. In my general area there are a lot of stores that are self checknout only. Including stores like ikea. So anytime I want to shop at ikea for something I need I have to bring someone along to help me. Before ikea did this I could shop there on my own. Imagine being a grown adult and only able to shop when you have aid because the store is too cheap to have even just 1 attened register.
4. I am preaching about disability as that is one of the things I do on this blog. I am disabled and I am bringing to light many issues disabled people face. Your inability to listen to a disabled person shows you don't care. I have no idea of your disability status but disabled people can still be ablist. Either way you are being ablest.
5. The world is not America. [Yes I used an example from when I was at walmart in Florida but I'm not in America. This is a global issues not an American one. When the security guard helped me check out at the walmart with only self checkout I first didn't know it was only self checkout and secondly it was the only store avaible to me at that time]
But to go into the ada point if we must only focus on america
Guess what! The usa is very bad at following ada compliance! And even if they did I'm sorry those rules are still.not accessible to everyone. Sure it'd be helpful if more self checkouts follow those rules, but some of us are still going to need a cashier.
Not to mention there is usually only 1 accessible kiosk and half the time it's closed off (ikea looking at you especially. I still need help with the ikea accessible one, but i need less help with that one)
6. No you didn't adress the cash issue if there is no manned register there is no way to pay in cash
7. I promise you I am not entitled I am asking everyone to include disabled people in the world and for us to have same access to things as able people.
You have no idea how much of a struggle my life is. It gets worse and worse because the world is becoming more and more ablist. Self checkouts is just one out of many issues.
I promise you I'm always super nice to staff and they actually enjoy when I come to the store. I never ask for any help I don't really need. I avoid buying from the top shelves as much as possible because I feel bad having to ask an employee come to the isle to hand it to me, but sometimes the only option is the top shelf.
Like I said originally all staff should be treated with respect, but it goes both ways
It's been a bit since I posted but I saw this on Facebook. And it struck a nerve considering the page that posted it.
This was my answer:
Funny almost every single person agreeing with this are boomers. One person said this is so the customer has to put up with more crap in the store. Oh, but it's OK for cashiers to put up with your crap cause you're too lazy to walk down 10 ft to the next open register? "There's no open registers anywhere! Forcing me to work for you, wHeRe'S mY w-2?!" There's a register here, here, and there. But you complain because the closest ones to your car are self-checkouts. So you use them then hold the poor host hostage to your verbal abuse or force them to act as a cashier for you, drawing their attention away from other customers who may legitimately their assistance for more than just scanning their items for some fat lazy ass who starts huffing at the simple action of bagging their own shit. So yeah when Walmart sees that more transactions are going through their self-checkouts than actual registers, Walmart doesn't see the purpose in maintaining unused registers and replaces them with more self-checkouts. You want stores to keep cash registers? Treat your cashiers with respect so that they won't fucking rage quit because some Karen with an expired coupon they printed off their computer three months ago decided to call corporate and complain about them for the 5th time that week. If you can't treat cashiers as people don't get mad when you can't find them working their jobs. Or shop from Amazon and fuck off.
- Sincerely all retail workers.
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Sometimes Winry gets unfairly characterized as a tsundere because she hits Ed a lot.
But let's be SO for real right now: if you knew someone who did all the shit Ed did, you'd be hitting them constantly too. She's nothing but completely reasonable.
#i mean she built him an entire automail arm that he BROKE more than once#forcing her to rebuild it FROM SCRATCH#he constantly brought back that same arm broken or smashed or in dire need of maintenance#imagine if someone did your work dirty like that#worse imagine if it was someone you cared about#who broke your work because they were in DANGER#she SHOULD hit him#winry rockbell#edward elric#fma#fullmetal alchemist
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"Prisoner @waivyjellyfish ! Milgramblrgram has judged you guilty for your crimes! It is time to meet your judgement. As the wardens' fang, I take that responsibility upon myself!" (Muahaha -- Es angst for you ����)
Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.
And so they cried.
You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one.
Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple.
But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.
Es was with their family.
They choked out another sob.
For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.
They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.
If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.
Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.
Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.
That thought didn't help at all.
Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this.
It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall.
���Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.
“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”
Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama.
Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.
“Let’s get you back to bed.”
“But, my p-parents, they were–”
“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”
#milgram#es#this is all in good fun and i hope you know i love your characters so so much ;---;#i would never actually accuse them of not caring about es ;----;#i just had to for The Drama but damn if it didnt break my own heart to write 😭#i wrote another drabble like this with kazui but honestly theres nothing worse than a dream thats Too Good#it felt cheesy to describe it so specifically but that kind of longing really is intense#and id imagine someone with so few memories to work off of would feel it even stronger#so uuuuhhh *side-eyes the little doll's gun* face your judgement!!!#drabbles#milgramblrgram
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if there is one thing i don't like about studying bugs it's nothing to do with the actual studying but instead every time i tell someone "oh yeah i study bugs and hope to work with bugs my entire life because i love them" the response i almost always get is "oh i could never do that i hate bugs. i kill every bug i see. i hope every bug dies" and it's. like. that's so cool dude. why are you telling me this
#i understand phobias man but one (1) ounce of self-awareness is all i ask for when u are speaking with someone who clearly likes bugs#it's worse if i'm presently Owning a bug as a pet .like then it's INSUFFERABLE !#when i had my jumping spider or my millipedes and i told someone about it . like. without fail#''oh i'd kill that thing if i saw it'' WHYYY would you say that to me. that is my Pet. That is an Animal in my care#like imagine someone saying that about a dog or a cat. like cmon now. be fucking for real#unbelievably tiring i swear . and i will be hearing this my Entire Life I know. especially as in the near future i will be obtaining#a tarantula for a class.#SIGHS! whatever#clamtalk#bugposting
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thinking about miravi specifically in the context of Sound and Noise...
aaravi's a person who's been forced to be hyperaware of how loud shes being at any given moment, something which she's nonetheless not very good at and ends up being told off repeatedly because she gets too loud when shes angry, or excited, or happy, or anything, really. she's not good at volume control and can't figure out how to maintain an "acceptable" level for everyone else, something that those same people don't have a tolerance for and won't listen to her when she says she really can't help it, leaving her only options to be total silence or outright rejection when she does speak. it means she gets ousted even more from social situations and even moreso read as aggressive and mistreated for being so, even when she's really trying not to be, thus meaning she can only actually become aggressive due to this fear of retaliation and mistreatment.
and miranda comes from a culture that has a huge emphasis on sound and noise and constantly being able to hear everyone even if you aren't able to see them. that's why music is so important to them, why it's a part of their language and why their language is so complex, that it's a deeply ingrained part of how they socialize with each other to begin with. even in her situation, having to control her reactions for the sake of the throne and control exactly what she says in which way, this is still far more than what she's dealing with on land. for all of this, she feels strangely put down and hurt even when other people aren't intending to, having such a major part of her socialization just abruptly missing. no one will sing with her, no one will go to the same lengths, no one is constantly communicating so that she can know what's going on even when she can't see it - and, yeah, she also gets told off repeatedly because she's being too loud or too boisterous or not using her "inside voice" and can't figure out what's an acceptable level because she's just not made to deal with this.
which means, when aaravi starts getting excited and getting loud around miranda, well, she can understand that! for miranda, she can understand this even better than what might be seen as the "norm", and can much more easily work with what aaravi gives her. in turn, aaravi is encouraged to be as loud or as boisterous as she wants to be, that she has someone else who is also loud and boisterous and likes that about her, especially someone who's confident enough (helped further by the knowledge that her entire culture and people are also like this) to not be so easily pushed over or told that there's something wrong with her for being loud. in a way, its finding someone who speaks the same language and understands what the other means in these inflections in volume, and someone who encourages this without shaming the other for how they talk.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#monster prom#this is also why i say they get even worse for everyone else when theyre together#try to tell them off for being too loud and their personalities and mutual reassurance will bounce off each other#and now theyll PURPOSEFULLY try to irritate you#(because. you know. not a lot of sympathy from people for whom this has been a repeated issue of trauma and alienation)#(they have someone to back them up now and they will not be easily cowed)#when aaravi meets other merfolk i imagine she is. very overwhelmed at first and not Thrilled about how touchy and invasive they are#but after a while i think she'd fall into the same pattern as she did with miranda#of getting used to this and realizing what the intention is behind these things#and actually getting Very Into It because its a form of community acceptance and encouragement#they are not afraid of her. they are welcoming her in. they want to make sure she knows she is a Part Of The Community.#(this also helped in kind by the realization that she can do these same things to them and they'll encourage this tenfold)#(because. its just friendliness to them. she is Like Them.)
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I have a character analysis ask! :) (Although, it's not from the list you shared.) What would it take for Albedo to get really angry? Like a huge outburst? I have some ideas but I'm curious about your insights. - @mimi-cee-genshin
[Character Analysis Ask Meme]
This is a really interesting ask and I’ve been thinking about it ever since you sent it. There are three answers I have for you, but two are copouts and the last doesn’t satisfy the requirements.
The first two scenarios deal with the same thing: you scare him in some way. This can be achieved two different ways: Klee facing imminent danger that he can’t immediately mitigate and, if he cares about you, doing the same to yourself. Nothing scares a calculated person more than a sudden situation they have no control over. What this accomplishes is putting him into a state of panic. And, should everything be alright in the end, you can rightfully expect him to snap in fury before pulling you in for a hug.
However, the reason why I consider this a copout is that I think this kind of scenario would get most people to react in this way. And while he would be angry and have an outburst, I don’t really consider this scenario “anger.” It’s more panic, you know?
So that being said, I don’t really think it’s exactly possible to get Albedo angry to the point of having an outburst, at least in the typical sense. Albedo is not a burning fury kind of person. He is cold fury. When he gets truly mad, his emotions shut down and he turns into a heartless machine. Think of Scar killing Mufasa, except without the smile and glee. He’d look down at you with ice-cold eyes as he ever so casually pushes you back to lose your grip.
To get him into this state, though, I think it would take work. One possible scenario would be betraying him and then having everything go wrong. Not a cold calculated betrayal (he’d sense your untrustworthiness), but maybe one from fear? For example, he treated you as a friend, but upon getting threatened by the Abyss, you betray Mondstadt in fear of your life, and then whoops, people get hurt and/or killed. In that case, you both betrayed his kindness and ultimately disappointed him. He was wrong about you. You are no better than the dirt beneath his feet.
#genshin impact#albedo#this took way less time than the other asks because it’s not formatted but sorry i try to do things in order orz#but yeah i imagine for albedo the best way to get a ‘strong’ reaction out of him is the ‘disappointment’ sort of betrayal#‘i thought i’d see worth in you but i was wrong’#but this would be the antithesis of a ‘strong’ reaction because what he’d feel is more akin to nothing at all#you do not have the right to his emotions anymore#you don’t deserve it#that being said i can see him being lowkey passive aggressive with such people if he’s forced into contact with them you know?#esp if he’s alone with them and they try to apologize#let me reiterate tho this ‘disappointment’ betrayal wouldn’t be for tiny things#it’d be for situations like i outlined in the post#a ‘betrayal’ that has very tangible consequences esp if it hurt people he cares about#my writing#the reason why a normal betrayal wouldn’t produce the same results is because he’d already be aware f the real possibility#albedo is the observant sort after all#that being said he’d also be aware of the very likely possibility of someone ‘disappointment’ betraying him#but he’d put his trust in them anyway if he saw worth in them#and that’s what makes it even worse if a betrayal#despite knowing the risks albedo consciously decided to trust them….. and was repaid with disappointment
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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something i was thinking about on stand yesterday.. danganronpa shsl lifeguard who tries to save a dying person they find, bonus points if they dont come clean about it at first because they think they actually killed that person with their efforts
#or if they do actually kill them which would be really tragic. this happens in chapter 4 of course#ok i actually put way too much thought into this. to put it into perspective i had shifts with 5 hours on stand saturdsy and sunday#i thought of it on saturday 20 mins in. so this concept has been in my brain for a while#anywayyy im thinking she had some pretty high profile eddie aikau type saves and got a little famous off that#AND is always offering to help people#so for the sake of writing another tragic athlete yuri ch4: i think the victim in her case is someone who is adamant about not wanting help#like a woman playing a sport typically seen as being manly (american football rugby wrestling etc etc)#im imagining shes from a family of pretty good (male) athletes and is constantly dealing with comparisons to portray her as weaker#she wont accept help or medical assistance because she thinks it makes her weak. which is a trait female characters should have more#so you get two really valid worldviews and its debatable whether the victim actually needed medical assistance/help or if it#just made things worse#anyway im imagining the ending of the previous chapter shows a black screen with#'unknown: hey hey are you okay?'#and ms life guard tries to give her situationship a slightly dignified resting place so we dont discover the body for a little while#not too long but a little while#actually i think the lifeguard killing the athlete with chest compressions would make a really compelling scenario#where the actual person with murderous intent was someone who poisoned or near-fatally hit the athlete#and they get to walk free (under extreme suspicion from other students) while the girl who got sooo close to saving her dies#lifeguard could be someone whos easily distracted but locks in while on duty to the point where shes like a different person#but slipping up and breaking the athletes rib (or whatever) was her one moment of panic#because she cared about the victim on a personal level#i neednto be sedated so i shut the fuck up. tomorrow is the first day of school bro#i DID say i had 10 hours to think about this
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Libraries are just about the punkest places in existence and ppl wanna be transphobic in them? Not on my watch fuck you very much
#literally that bitch at the recption desk asking me for my document name#bitch you're obligated by law to respect my chosen name even if it isn't on my ID#you bet your ass I filed a complaint directly with the library administration the second i went through those doors#and you guess what else#that hag had the gall to ask me if I complained about her#“yes ma'am I did” is what i replied to her#A LIBRABRY SHOULD BE LITERALLY THE INCLUSIVE SAFE HAVEN FOR ALL PEOPLES AND THIS BITCH TRYING TO TREAT TRANS FOLKS LIKE THAT??#BITCH FUCK YOU#if you wanna be transphobic you're gonna need to find a new job bc a PUBLIC LIBRARY is not the place to play your stupid hurtfull games#and the way she insisted on checking my books just so she could ask me that when there were three other people available to check them is#just so grating on my cheese#if she were a decent ignorant person she wouldn't have asked to check my books and wouldn't care to interact with me any more than she abso#lutely had to#but nooo#she simply had to ask#that tells me she was just being a mean old bitch bc of pride and prejudice#and picking on me specifically#(book pun heheheh)#bc this was not the first time she did that#and if she acts a fool again#I'll record her and complain again#and I'll go to the fucking cops about it too#gosh I wish she would get fired#her career should be as an insufferable catholic school hall monitor of vice principal bc she's just a mean old hag w no joy in her life#nothing better to do than to pick on minorities and you just know she wouldn't be the actual principal bc ofc she wouldn't#anyway this bitch made my day worse but joke's on her coz I got myself a treat for doing the right thing#which was complaining#but i was seriously considering not going back to the library and omfg#she should really be fucking fired#can you imagine scaring someone off coming back to a PUBLIC FUCKING LIBRARY
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I feel like the boy who cried wolf
#im always sad. people have told me im the 'sad' friend#and i understand it must be boring being around someone like that. i get it#but i feel like im getting worse and worse and even when i ask for help im ignored#'this time for real! i cant take it anymore' but im always sad. so whats the point of caring?#of checking on me? of actually trying to listen?#i feel like no one cares about me. but i feel guilty about thinking like that too. they dont deserve that#im a bad person so i guess in getting what was coming for me#but imagining someone would actually worry about me and try to help me cheer up...its bittersweet#its not gonna happen and it hurts more to imagine such a scenario but i cant help it#when you are always sad whos gonna notice when you get so sad its scary?
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Sometimes I think people are too mean to middle schoolers because I work with them all day every day and really for the most part they are kind and funny and genuinely wonderful human beings experiencing massive changes and people are often too quick to write them all off as stupid kids… and it hurts because they really deserve to be treated like people with agency … and other times I’m like… oh.. these are not human children.. they are actually evil monsters for real
#I say this with all the love in my heart#and as someone who genuinely cares about middle schoolers#y’all#you can’t even IMAGINE the depths to which these freaks will go#they are actually evil masterminds#yeah yeah I love them and would die for them#but sometimes I’m like holy shit this is worse than#like they are evil I’m ways y’all couldn’t even imagine#MOST of the time they are wonderful responsible human beings#who deserve more respect and agency and rights#but then I have days like today and I’m like… oh.. your brain isn’t fully developed yet#and that makes u twisted and evil#got it#<333#xoxo
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Question: have you ever known a rapist. Ever.
Question 2: have you ever listened to any trans woman talk about what it’s like to be openly trans in public. Ever.
#i dont know whats worse#the bold-faced assertion that rapists arent human#or the fact that this person evidently thinks that by ‘society treats rapists better than trans women’#we mean rapists get called mean names less#no dumbass we mean they get curbstomped on the fucking street by cops less#they get kicked out of their parents’ house with no job prospects and are left to die on the streets less#they go to prison less#dont ask me for statistics on that shit idk statistics im just spitballing potential ways society could treat someone bad#im using my imagination maybe you should too#and before a motherfucker comes at me for saying rapists are human#thats not a sympathizing statement#theyre human bcs they fucking are. they have feelings and care about things and sometimes they do nice things#they also commit horrific fucking acts of violence#idfk accept that bcs its true#don’t pretend horrible people are inhuman monsters because thats easier#all you’re gonna do is set up a system where YOU cant be a bad person because you still feel human#newsflash you can be a bad person too#and still feel human#and still be human#anyways the terf likely wont listen but i tried#im not even trying to convince you to not hate trans people#I’m just apalled that you’re thinking about human beings the same way a child would at your grown ass age#thats not even an insult. this is literally how a child would think.#‘bad people dont care about being hated’ ‘being hated means people call you names’ turn off the saturday morning cartoons motherfucker
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tfw my sister is chill with our (half-)brother and also texting and whatever
meanwhile I regularly forget he exists, have no sibling connection to him at all, nor am I interest in it, and if I think of him I get upset lmao
#cylas speaks#bc he went no contact with our dad when he was. idk. like 12 years old. so... 2006?#been resolute with that all this time. doesn't give dad any chance. dad says even he doesn't know what happened.#never tried to get into contact with my sister and me. i coincidentally discovered him on facebook bc he was friends was a cousin lmao.#and yeah idk i cant imagine a reason to just literally not talk to dad this long. figured that maybe when he got older he would at least try#overall theory is that maybe his mum told him shit. because people talking shit and lying about each other just is a thing here.#but yeah if my sister wants to be friends with him ok#i dont want to play happy siblings with someone i dont know and who blatantly did not care before i contacted him on fb#like maybe he has his reasons etc#but all i know is how sad and hurt and legitimately confused dad is#and we're talking about someone who hardly ever shows his emotions. maybe at his mum's funeral.#and like. he isn't getting younger. 63 now.#so yeah that's that#bc even my sister has gone through a straight up hateful towards dad phase (that was at least somewhat fueled by our brother :))#but has grown out of it and can reflect on it all now#also brother did have contact with my mum and it's all chill#and she arguably is/has been worse lmao#like dad was/is emotionally distant which isn't great growing up#but he also always had to take over responsibility when mum relapsed again#and lemme tell you it messes with you when the emotionally supportive figure in your life who also always tells you how she'll always be l#there for you etc just is not reliable at all#anyway there's a lot of emotions and i just talked with mum about it (who also doesnt know what happened) and cried a lot and now head hurts
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