#with emotional honesty
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Page 21 of my Miraculous Mentor AU comic A Matter of Trust! In which Felix needs a breather before opening up any further, and Adrien realises his enigmatic mentor is starting to let his walls down!!! 😻✨
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Weekly updates each Sunday! You can also read ahead early on Patreon, and/or buy me a Ko-fi if you'd like to support my work! 💖
#miraculous ladybug#mentor au#A Matter of Trust#felix sphinx#adrien agreste#josie's art#felix in the kitchen having a very lowkey anxiety attack over his choice to tell adrien The Awful Truth#while baby chat is literally suckered to the window like a catfish because he can't BELIEVE felix is confiding in him!!!!#TRUST!!! HONESTY!!! EMOTIONAL CONNECTION!!! A HUGE SMEARY FACE PRINT ON FELIX'S NICE CLEAN GLASS!!!!#kiddo has starry eyes for felix; and felix is so scared of letting him down even though he acts indifferent :'0
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specific ship dynamic that makes me insane:
chivalrous warrior who wears their whole heart on their sleeve & radiates devotion from every pore x the shifty bastard who would drown their own hands in an ocean of blood for the other one's sake without hesitation and never say a word about it
#(pls note: they are equally stupid in love with each other but shifty bastard is violently allergic to emotional honesty)#shipping#ship dynamics#wild shrieks.txt#if you follow me on the brainrot sideblog and are thinking 'hey that sounds like-' yeah. yeah. you're probably right 😔#i'm goin thru it let me live!!!!!
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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Do not allow your happiness to be controlled by the thoughts of others. People are happy for you one minute and then the next they are looking down their noses at you. You have to find within yourself the kind of happiness that withstands the ups and downs of life. No one should have the power to limit or repress your happiness.
Amaka Imani Nkosazana, Heart Crush
#Amaka Imani Nkosazana#Heart Crush#quotes#motivation#inspiration#thepersonalquotes#literature#lit#bravery#courage#dedications#deeds#depression#emotions#expressions#freedom#friends#friendship#goals#god#happiness#honesty#hopeful#inspirational-quotes#inspirational-words#inspire#interests#joy#kindness
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It's especially sad to me, how apparently common it is for some people to think autistic/neurodivergent people are lying or trying to manipulate them when they're actually being radically honest— it's just "too" honest for them to identify or accept.
It's sad that their honesty is considered "radical" relative to neurotypical society, when it would in nearly all cases be healthier and better for everyone to be more open and honest with each other.
#autism#actually autistic#autistic adult#autistic things#autistic trauma#communication trauma#communication#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#relationships#honesty#manipulation#lying#lies#dishonesty#misinterpretation#assumptions#mental health#mental wellness#neurotypical#society#emotional awareness#emotional maturity#emotional intelligence#authenticity#radical honesty#misunderstood#understanding#healthy relationships#cognitive distortions
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happy 15 years of the duo that moulded me into the being i am today, it’s been a wild 14 years of my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way. love yall
#sorry a bit late and used up all my emotional captions already bjt#i really wouldn’t be who i am without them#idk if id even be here in all honesty#they were the one constant in my life#hilarious that despite everything dan was still more present than my father ever was#i so sleepy i’m gonna end up yapping for half an hour w no filter so i shush now#i just Love Them So Many#i hope they have some semblance of an idea of the impact they’ve made#art2 and craft2#dnp#phanart#daniel howell#amazingphil#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#danisnotonfire#15 years of dan and phil#incomprehensible#ugh may as well#phan#sry#btw yes am 2010 phannie butterfingers was my first video etc etc i know 12 year olds should not have been watching dan howell but THEY WERE💕
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I think the Kaveh/Cyno and Tighnari/Alhaitham combos are severely underrated as duos.
First of all, in Kaveh and Alhaitham's voicelines about Cyno and Tighnari, they both mention that the latter may have a reputation for being cold or mean but they think that's wrong. Kaveh says Cyno is a big hearted guy, Alhaitham says that others aren't giving Tighnari a fair go when they assume he is just mean.
Then there is the fact that out of all their little friend group, Cyno is probably the nicest to Kaveh. The others love Kaveh but they can and will give him shit. The one time I remember Cyno accidentally insulting Kaveh, he walked it back immediately and changed the subject. "-your life wouldn't be the mess it currently is." "What do you mean my life is a mess?" "Nevermind. Your life is fine."
Cyno also tried to tell Kaveh a joke to cheer him up when he was drunk complaining about work in his hangout.
Then we have Mr Antisocial Alhaitham showing upto a dinner just because Tighnari asked him to. He calls Tighnari kind just because he went out of his way to help Kaveh once. I feel like those two would bond a lot about their love for learning but dislike of the Akademiya and people within it. Also noise sensitivity buddies
#genshin impact#alhaitham#cyno#tighnari#kaveh#kavehno#hainari#idk the ship names for them#im still very 4ggravate poly in the end but i love these two combos#cyno and kaveh being the more emotional ones of their duos#tighnari and alhaitham having that blunt honesty#i think alhaitham would find amusement from watching tighnari talk to people#and cyno being jealous of kavehs ability to make tighnari and collei laugh with his stories is so funny
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extremely half-formed thoughts hours but i like that black sails as a "villain origin story" (as it were) for long john silver, one of the most storied pirates there is (because among other things he's entirely fictional), shows us a series of pirate captains who have constructed larger-than-life personae for themselves to feature as the monsters in other people's stories, and shows us the (almost always) deeply personally painful histories that went into making them and then refuses to give us that for long john silver. he's not a monster from a children's story but nor does he have the kind of compelling personal history of (say) flint or vane or rackham or anne bonny. he's just fundamentally selfish in a way that's ultimately pretty banal & ordinary imo, but he's put into this position where his selfishness is able to exert a massive influence on the people around him that makes him seem like more than he is. & btw i don't mean this as like a criticism of his character i think it works really well. what if evil were just boring. what then.
#black sails#before anybody brings up the leg: he is (v deliberately imo) not the only character we see lose a leg#as for the scene on the cliff in s4 i have made my thoughts on that clear elsewhere but#i have seen many people take that as a moment of at least emotional honesty. but like#it's got that washed-out filter they use for dream sequences#and this is guy primarily characterised as someone who lies all the time#which is good btw. i think it's more interesting if you don't (& can't) know if he's being honest#there or anywhere else
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Kinda like a time zone for the aging.
#sarcasm#sarcastic#humor#dark humor#memes#funny stuff#haha#lol#funny post#funny memes#life tips#meaning of life#life#lifestyle#life quotes#life lessons#life is strange#memory#understanding#feelings#meaning#emotional#wisdom#honesty#knowledge#truth#happiness#aging#aging gracefully#healthy aging
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Steddie Post S4: If All That's Left of Steve in the Final Battle is Ashes—
...are they REALLY JUST ashes? 🔥
The final battle—like the last part of the very final battle—ends with shattering, and with dust.
It starts, the first bad dream and the first bloody nose and the first Code Red on the radios: well, that’s three months into something, for the first time in Eddie’s sorry-ass-but-honestly-actually-since-almost-not-having-any-life-at-all-any-more-and-miraculously-making-it-through-a-night-then-a-week-then-a-month-then-rehab-then-chronic-pain-then-more-friends-than-he’d-ever-had-before-and-frankly-in-the-beginning-more-than-he-could-count-plus-three-new-mother-figures-and-two-maybe-three-extra-maybe-father-figures-plus-one-friend-of-Dorothy-who’s-the-platonic-soulmate-of-maybe-the-love-of-Eddie’s-not-actually-still-sorry-ass-life: he’s about three months into something wild and reeling in his chest, brushing hands and lingering looks and flushed cheeks and little secret smiles ducked in toward shoulders or behind stray curls, or falling asleep pressed arm-to-arm only to wake up in one lap or another, and the whole of it’s shameless and intentional and giddy somewhere low in Eddie’s belly because it’s not uncertain, it’s honestly just fucking bashful, it’s shy and it’s the both of them wordlessly leaning into it, careful but sure, and almost all the more buoyant for it.
It’s three months in, and when they step up to that last battle—that final turn, do-or-die—maybe Steve pulls him behind a truck Eddie doesn’t even know the owner of, where it came from or why it’s there; but maybe Steve pulls him behind and draws him close without a word and kisses him relentless, drags his teeth and draws a little blood for the force and leaves them both raw, and panting, and desperate: it couldn’t really go any other way, like this—here.
Now.
“Live through this,” Steve had breathed against his angry red lips, hard enough that it stung; “so we can pick up where we left off.”
“I will if you will,” Eddie had shot back, defiant; still begging.
And Steve had kissed him again, and Eddie’d watched as Steve walked away with the lightest smear of Eddie’s blood on his lower lip as he’d spoken:
“I’ll hold you to it.”
And they’d parted, to do their fucking jobs, to play their fucking roles. They’re come back together, ready to take the final boss down as a unit, and Eddie remembers that he’d felt hopeful, he’d felt so fucking relieved because this was it. They were gonna nail it, all for one, and—
So it might be near the end, actually—they may have almost done it, finished the job and killed every last bit of this hellscape, every beast big and small, crushed what’s left of the husk of Vecna orchestrating it all: it might happen near the end. Or maybe just shy of the beginning. Somewhere in the middle.
All Eddie knows is that it happens. There’s light, and people floating in the air and then more light, dragged back down by the same lightning-spark power, and it’s back and it’s forth and when it hits anyone, Supergirl pulls them back to the ground and fights back harder, her face blood red dripping to her neck, her teeth bared all wrath and fury, and then—
Then there’s something that shoots different, hits Steve and he doesn’t float. It looks different, so it probably is different, and he doesn’t float when it hits him.
And so: Eddie holds to the bargain.
But Steve.
Steve…Steve Harrington, with the bitchiest glare and the brightest smile and the goofiest laugh and the biggest fucking heart, the bravest of all of them and the best part of Eddie’s whole soul—
Steve gets hit, and disappears from the world in nothing but a cloud of dust.
No one tries to shush Eddie, when he screams, when he wails and sobs; drops to his knees and fucking howls.
No one tries to stop him when he crawls to the space that held his whole heart, and now lies empty, save a dusting of something almost shiny, coarse to the touch but fine to the naked eye, hard to distinguish from the dirt on sight alone—is that him? Is that his Sweetheart, all that’s left of him—
Eddie thinks maybe they try to stop him halfway through the way he starts frantically sweeping, scooping up the ash and filling every pocket he has with as much as he can. He vaguely feels a hand on his shoulder, maybe the sound of his name, but it’s all white noise because Eddie’s picking up the pieces of his heart, here, Eddie’s trying like hell to hold on to something of the man he loves and anyone who doesn’t like it, or thinks he’s crazy, or wants to rush him, ask him to leave any little pouch in any layer of his clothes unfilled, less than overflowing with all that remains?
Fuck them. Fuck them all. Because Eddie kept his side of the deal.
Live through this.
I will if you will.
And now he has to live with the way his Stevie…didn’t.
——
The rest of the Party sticks together after it’s done. Dustin is inconsolable, Erica and Max scowl in each other’s direction but not really…at each other. Mike’s having a weird…frenzy response, denying Steve’s dead at all and demanding Lucas help him get El to look for him, he has to be somewhere, he has be saveable like Max, like Eddie. Robin’s fucking catatonic—the real adults take most of the burden, trying to figure out who to call, because Steve’s their only casualty, the beating heart at the center of all this and it’s gone, no wonder they’re breaking—
The Party stays together. Eddie falls back on what he knows.
He runs.
Specifically: he runs home, carefully though, he can’t jostle his pockets, and he knows exactly where he’s looking when he gets to his room, crawls to the farthest corner of his closet in this still-weird-to-be-so-big bedroom after the trailer: and he finds it.
His mom’s old little hope chest.
There are a million little fake velvet pouches inside, a couple pieces of actual jewelry kept in an empty film canister, and then a smaller jewelry box type thing meant for a dresser or something: Eddie doesn’t think he can fill the hope chest.
But the rest…
He starts with the jewelry box, since it’s already empty, carefully cups his palms to fill it with the precious dust until the lid doesn’t close.
Then he sorts the pouches, puts aside the ones that don’t pull tight enough shut for his liking. The rest…those will be temporary. He’ll find a better home for the ashes soon, but for now they’re safe, and all that’s left is…
The film canister is special.
It’s stupid and plastic and like every other fucking black-and grey tube thingy that smells like vinegar on the inside of you hold it up too close. But this one—
He’s always gotten a little teary-eyed to think that this was the one his mother kept.
Because he’d poked a hole through the rough little peak in the top of the lid with a fork, took a piece of thread from the junk drawer and made himself a necklace to match the one she had and she’d smiled at him so bright, poked another hole next to his, and threaded his string-chain through the back of the lid so it’d close up tight, to keep all your most secret prized possessions, my sugarbean and he had. For years.
Now it held what was left of her jewels, mostly cheap stuff with sentimental worth he couldn’t calculate—but now he has to take the faulty pouches and give the jewelry a new home.
Now he’s never had something more prized and precious to keep.
He finds fishing line in Wayne’s stuff, stronger than the thread worn and aged over a decade and a half, swaps it out with the string. Covers the inside with electrical tape to make sure nothing can sneak out of the holes, even so.
And then he fills it. Last of the ashes, and it all only just fits but the lid pops on perfect.
Then he pulls it over his head, and lies down on his bed.
And fucking sobs when the canister falls to settle right over his heart.
——
Some of the kids try to coax him out, argue grief is better shared or whatever, but Eddie’s deaf to the knocking, the way they try to yell at his window—not even cracked open, he won’t risk a rogue bird or a stray breeze disturbing all he has left of his, his—
The kids go away, eventually.
Wayne finds out through the grapevine what’s happened—he comes into Eddie’s room and holds him even if Eddie doesn’t want it, doesn’t ask. He’s grateful, though, even if he doesn’t say it, and Wayne sheds more than one tear; he’d been warming quick to Steve, called him son.
That wasn’t something Wayne did lightly. Not that anything Wayne did was done lightly.
However many days pass, Eddie doesn’t keep track. He wakes and runs to the little box on his dresser, just to make sure it’s safe, clutching the film tube around his neck while he does, weighing it desperately until he can be sure the bulk of the ashes are undisturbed. The rest of his time is spent lying in his bed and rolling the little canister across his fingers, taking off all his rings so he can just…touch it. Be close to whatever lifeless pieces of Steve—and likewise, then: pieces of Eddie—remain anywhere at all. He passes the hours like that, largely. Sometimes he thinks he’s hungry, like his stomach aches in that pang kind of way, but thinking of eating in a world where Steve doesn’t breathe makes him sick every time, so he doesn’t follow through. Wayne pesters him to at least drink something, so he sometimes shuffles to the bathroom, or the kitchen, drinks from the sink because glasses are for people who make plans for the future, who intend to drink things over the course of a lifetime, a life maybe with a purpose, a purpose that—
Eddie throws himself back into bed again, every time. Presses his film-canister-talisman tight to his sternum until the hurt of the pressure blurs with bigger hurts, and ultimately blurs into black.
Until one day, he opens his eyes. And after he’s done with the subtle disappointment that he had to, that morning came at all; when he gets up and checks the box?
The lid’s flipped off.
And there’s a tiny pile of dusty ash, glittering next to it, when there’s no light in the room to even catch it.
Eddie’s heart drops, then seizes in his chest.
What the fuck. What the fuck.
No one comes in but Wayne, and he just pokes his head in. Nothing can get in, either, unless…but they closed all the gates, there is no Upside Down anymore—
Eddie’s hands are shaking as he tries to brush the little pile into his hands, pulse tripping when the thinks of what it is, inside his hands, and he carefully lets it sift back into the jewelry box, tries to judge if any’s been lost, closes the top when he starts breathing too heavy, when his anxiety threatens to make the situation worse as he tries to bend down and see the furniture at surface level, find any precious speck of—
Not a speck. Not a…mote.
The escaped ashes were on top of something, though. Something Eddie’s never seen before. About the size of a notecard but, kinda like…ancient, weathered; that yellowed look you can never fake just right, traced alone with…some kind of calligraphy out of fucking Camelot or some shit, metallic gold in script:
I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.
The…fuck?
Eddie tries to squint, because the text is weirdly positioned; it does look like something’s worn off, and some of what’s actually there is brighter, bolder than the rest, and then there’s a whole other style, almost backward, like a mirror-image of handwriting, and Eddie lifts the card up to the mirror instinctively, only to see…
There’s writing on the other side.
Eddie’s breath catches when he recognizes the handwriting. Small, and more words than should be able to fit but…it fits. It’s dried blood in color, and Eddie’s not convinced it’s just a color for how it’s a little raised and flaky, but it doesn’t come off when Eddie touches it, traces it because the cramped little letters, tall and short all mixed and mismatched, so familiar, so tight in Eddie’s chest—
It’s…Eddie…
Eddie’s eyes skim the first few lines in Steve��s handwriting, and he cannot fucking breathe—
Hey, wow, that’s some crazy shit there on the other side of this piece of paper, my gran says it’s a warning even if I don’t personally get it, but I’m pretty sure it’s enchanted? The paper, I mean. The warning’s probably about being too close to…this, without being prepared. But that’s, whatever. Point is, I don’t think I can make new enchanted paper, so here’s the deal: First, thanks for grabbing the ashes? I didn’t actually expect anyone to do that. I hope it was intentional, like that you weren’t sweeping or the ash got stuck in your shoes or something, because intentional will make the rest of this way easier (hopefully, or like, maybe), and if you’re a part of the bigger Hawkins fuckery it’ll be way easier to believe at the least so, fingers crossed I guess but: I’m kind of a phoenix? Firebird? Thing? It’s a bloodline “curse” but especially since the, umm, incidents with the Lab I’ve been thinking maybe it’s actually kinda cool? Like insurance. But the extra fucked up thing is that someone has to grab the ashes without being, like, told to. Free will or some bullshit. And apparently we’re not a very spontaneously likable bunch of dungeons-and-dipshit-type creatures, because not many of us even get to re-birth ourselves. Because of the ash…thing. But you! You did that! And now I can do the rebirth thing! Which I hope is okay. There are a lot of, like, bond-type things that go along with the person who ‘cares selflessly to gather ash unbidden’—I think that’s what makes someone more than a ‘mere human’ consumed by the Fire and they won’t get burned, they’ll be…well, if they wanted. Bond-stuff. Not important. I’m not gonna hold you to any of that shit, like, nothing you don’t want to happen will happen because of this, I 100% promise. Except maybe I’ll do some over the top gestures of gratitude—and on the off chance you already know me, at all? Over-the-top is kinda how I do most feelings, so. Should not be a surprise. Only thing I will ask, and if it’s too much no worries, the whole resurrection shebang was a gamble from the get-go but, if you can just keep this pile of ashes safe for a little bit? It takes longer to heal based on how old you are when you, y’know. Kick it. So…yeah. I never learned how to come back as a baby because that sounded weird. Quicker, but weird. I only learned the slower way so I can just…come back how I left, like no time passed. But if you can keep the ashes safe until then that’d be totally cool. Anyway, thanks, whoever you are. Kinda owe you my life, here. I’ll show you the appreciation you deserve when I’m, you know. Not-ashes. Once I have opposable thumbs again and stuff. But really. Thank you. See you soon, hopefully (if that’s cool, I mean, I can get out of your hair ASAP too if you’d rather, just say so soon as I pop up)— ~SH
Eddie…falls to the floor at some point, nearly ripping the note, no: no, actually, he should have decimated it, macerated it the with the way his hands clench and his tears have fallen and made not a single mark: enchanted paper.
Ashes that…maybe are Steve?
That maybe mean Steve could come…will come back?
Eddie really can’t breathe, now, and when the black swallows everything, he’s still on the fucking floor.
——
When next he comes-to, Eddie splashes water on his face after he checks on the jewelry box, reads the letter again, clutches the ash-filled pendant in his hand as he drinks, considers eating—no.
No, not yet. His stomach’s still unsteady. His chest is swollen, pressed with something like hope for the impossible because what the fuck, first and foremost, but then, then…
There was a horrorscape under his feet for years before it came for him personally, before he almost died at its hands once, and then again by proxy when, when it took his…
His maybe-love-of-his-life-and-also-possibly-something-like-a-phoenix-who-might-be-coming-back-to-Eddie-which-would-mean-Eddie-could-keep-breathing-and-his-heart-would-be-returned-to-his-chest-by-the-hands-of-the-man-he-loves-because-he-thinks-it-died-with-Steve-but-if-Steve-isn’t-dead—
He basically almost died again when…maybe his Steve—who Eddie fully acknowledges at this point he’s absolutely fucking gone on with his whole heart and soul, because there’s no other real explanation for his total and complete shutdown as a human for the sake of Steve’s loss—when his Stevie died, but maybe didn’t.
But then now, now maybe…
Maybe the impossible could be something that saved them, saved him, instead of something that only sought to ruin.
Eddie doesn’t think he can believe he’s that lucky.
But it’s easier to entertain the possibility, than to continue just…knowing Steve died before Eddie could acknowledge with his everything that he—certified cynic and self-deceiving dumbass Edward Elliot Munson—was ass-over-ankles in love; and more than that: before he could tell Steve as much, because of anyone Eddie’s ever met, Steve Harrington deserves to know how impossible it is not to; how ineffably much he is loved.
“Hey,” Eddie ultimately finds himself curled up back in his bed again, clutching his film canister to his chest, tight enough to leave an impression on his skin.
He wants it to. Right over the way his heart slams against his ribs. He wants a bruise. He wants a scar. He wants inviolable proof.
“Umm, so I don’t know if this is real,” Eddie’s eyes flicker to the jewelry box of ashes, the strange potentially-enchanted note on his dresser; “or if it is, how this works?”
This apparently being talking to the cobbled together film-pendant around his neck, he…he’s so fucked, isn’t he, this is insane—
But it’s not like that’s ever stopped him before.
And before never had love in the mix. So.
“If you can hear me,” Eddie runs his thumb around the circumference of the cap, over and over; “I pretty fucking sure I’m in love with you,” and it’s maybe fucked up, how it feels as nervewracking to say it to a plastic canister of ashes as he imagines it’d feel looking into those stupidly-wide amber eyes, but yep: said plastic ash-pendant’d be fucking bouncing with his heartbeat if he wasn’t holding it so tight to the furious drumming of his pulse.
“I know it’s fast? But,” and Eddie swallows, shakes his head for reasons that are maybe about dispelling the idea that anything’s too fast or too much in the life they’ve led, one where more might be possible, where a future might still exist beyond all possibilities, all hope except for the fragile frail thing in Eddie’s chest written in blood red, in Steve’s hand on Eddie’s fucking bones:
“I don’t think losing someone hurts like this if your heart’s not in it all the way,” and that’s, that is…
That’s the crux of it, isn’t it. His heart is the heart of it.
“Sorry, about that, if you,” Eddie swallows, sour around the idea that maybe, even if the impossible’s possible, this part, where he feels like this, is just…maybe not too far but in the wrong direction.
But he wants to believe. He wants to think Steve saw something pointing in this direction when he told him to survive, so they could have, so they could finish, so they—them, together—could…
“Yeah.”
Eddie’s voice is hoarse enough to hurt, now, so he lifts his little film canister to his lips and presses them hard, sure: it’s weirdly warm against his mouth, held too close to his chest for too long.
Not long enough. Not close enough.
“Be careful about taking care of yourself, about, coming back and,” Eddie grips his pendant of ashes back tight to the center of his sternum;
“I’ll watch over it, watch over you,” he promises; “long as you need.”
And he breathes, holding the canister close before he brings it back to his mouth again and whispers to it like it matters, or…just in case it matters:
“Come back to me,” his words come out in a shudder, all trembling; “I’m just a mere human, maybe less than,” and that’s true, that is so fucking true but:
“But you already consume me,” Eddie speaks it honest, and kisses the rim of the cap— if there’s any chance of getting in, it’s there:
“So burn me up, as much as you need to,” and Eddie means it, he fucking means it with everything he is; “just,” and his voice cracks, and he shoves the canister back tight to his shaking heart when the first tear falls on it, covers it with both hands and cups it safe and damn-near painful as he whispers to whatever might listen:
“If any of this is real,” he barely fucking breathes: “please come back.”
He loses the battle for consciousness to his tears, but awake or asleep: he doesn’t once let go of the pendant pressed to his heart.
——
Eddie’s warm. Like, fell asleep in the sunlight, swaddled in a blanket, embraced and held and wrapped up in pure comfort warm.
“You’re more than a mere human,” a voice exhales right behind his ear: also warm, also comfort, also fucking impossible and he turns, frantic and even more so when he feels the lack of his film canister against his chest, and he tries to scramble for it but he’s…he’s held the whole time in strong arms that he knows, same as he knew that voice, same as it’s clear that he’s warm because he’s wrapped up in a body, tangled from the legs up with, with—
“How,” Eddie barely speaks, more mouths as that chest lifts, those lungs fill, that mouth curls warm and sweet and his Steve is watching him, those eyes so alive and then those strong hands are reaching for him, cupping Eddie’s cheeks and marveling like Eddie’s the wonder, here, like Steve isn’t lying in his arms like a full-on fucking miracle.
“You offered burning, and pledged your heart unasked,” Steve says it in this…this way that is exactly that simple, and exponentially more profound.
“That is some lore shit,” Eddie breathes out almost on instinct because…that’s some lore shit.
And Steve—Steve, his Stevie, wrapped around him and moving and breathing and being and definitely one-hundred-percent naked but that is totally irrelevant right this moment because Steve—
Steve laughs at him, soft and fond and god, god but Eddie thought he’d lost it. He was so sure, and his heart was so broken but now Steve’s heart is strong against his skin and Eddie can, he can…
Eddie can fucking breathe.
“I don’t think anyone expects our kind to be…cared about, like that,” Steve shrugs a little, and Eddie wants to protest because Steve Harrington isn’t only cared about, he is adored, and fuck anyone who says different, who so much as thinks otherwise—he wants to push the point, but Steve’s eyes are so intent, so saturated with feeling.
And fuck, but Eddie missed those eyes.
“Speeds the whole re-personing thing up, apparently,” Steve’s smile is a little wider before he shakes his head with a cute little toss of that hair.
“Old magic things,” he dismisses; “for later,” and then he draws Eddie back down close to his chest and snuggles him in so, so close.
“Tired,” Steve sighs a little into Eddie’s mess of curls; “and you need taking care of.”
And it’s…out of everything, the protective certainty in those last words are maybe the most unshakable proof that settles in Eddie’s chest and reminds the still-reluctant, still-too-scared parts of Eddie’s heart to commit and start back to beating because: only Steve Harrington is protective…quite like this.
“You’re really here?” Eddie whispers, wondering and hesitant all at the same time.
“Thanks to you,” Steve kisses Eddie soft, sure: taste strangely of smoke and cinnamon but underneath—all Steve.
His Steve.
He folds into Steve’s chest and just, fucking, clings.
“So fast,” Eddie mouths against Steve’s skin, because the heartbeat under his lips is almost indecipherable, one beat to the next. “And you’re so warm, are you,” Eddie props his chin up and looks up at Steve, anxious and flooding with worry before he sees Steve’s smile, still sweet and steady.
“Bird,” Steve drums his fingers against Eddie’s forearm, lightning quick; “fire bird, so,” and the heat makes sense then, too, as Steve wraps him up again tighter and sighs, satisfied as he envelopes Eddie’s frame.
“Also extra energy, I think,” Eddie listens to Steve’s words around his heartbeat through his chest; “like, I couldn’t make it past your kitchen but, I don’t know how I know it, but I know I can give some of it to you while it’s settling.”
Magic. Steve. Can share his phoenix magic. To take care of Eddie. Immediately after coming back from the fucking grave.
On brand, Eddie guesses. Jesus fuck.
“I am pretty damn positive I’m in love you with you, too, by the way,” Steve shakes Eddie back to his body, to the moment, to the soft sure way he breathes those words and kisses Eddie’s temple like Eddie’s pulse doesn’t trip around the sentence, the sentiment.
“Also thank you, for,” Steve adds, and drops another kiss while Eddie reels, floats in the moment of hearing the words, of knowing for sure, of feeling it: “for loving me, somehow, enough to,” and Eddie can imagine where that’s headed, the way Steve says somehow like an unthinkable thing.
And there will be none of that, so he stops it and kisses hard, wet, open-mouthed at the center of Steve’s chest, over his bird-flutter heartbeat.
“It broke me,” Eddie breathes there, cracked open and still raw; “I already mostly figured but,” and his voice breaks, and Steve pulls him closer, so warm, and the bird-heart-flutter feels more like full broad wings, majestic, almost embracing and ensuring Eddie of all things is safe, and kept.
And warm.
Fuck if Eddie doesn’t fall into the feeling, full body; whole heart and soul.
“If there was any question whether I already loved you with everything, the way I fell apart,” and Eddie just moans a little because there aren’t…he doesn’t have words for it at all, he—
“Let me put you back together?” Steve murmurs low in a way that’s so soft and gentle but trembles the marrow inside Eddie’s bones.
Timeless. Endless.
Eddie kisses Steve’s chest again and hopes Steve knows that means yes, and please, and forever.
Unequivocally.
“Could we maybe talk about that, um, bond stuff, that the letter…” Eddie eventually speaks muffled into the hair on Steve’s pecs, after soaking in the heat and pulse and realness of him.
“I meant it,” Steve murmurs straight into Eddie’s skin; “I’m not holding you to—”
“I want you to.”
Eddie did not for a second think or feel otherwise, from the moment he saw the words, before he even started to believe at all: his mind was filled with possibilities by those words. His chest was…
“You…” Steve nudges Eddie’s head up from his chest and studies his face, reads something in his eyes before his breath catches, this time; before his bird-pulse skips, something light and giddy against Eddie’s weight and Steve huffs, disbelieving but…maybe happy for it.
Maybe…maybe overjoyed, even.
“Yeah,” Steve breathes, and leans to kiss Eddie full on the lips again, consuming: familiar for it.
“Yeah we can talk about that. But later.”
And then he settles Eddie back against him and wraps him in his bare skin, the still-radiant warmth.
“Now you sleep, and when you wake up, I feed you, you shower, you put on new clothes,” Eddie wrinkles his nose, doesn’t even know how many days it’s been since he cared for those things; abandons any shame for it when Steve feels him recoil and presses him closer, chuckles once and nuzzles his hair;
“Then I feed you again, and then,” Steve kisses his head once, and then twice, and then three times and Eddie feels it tingle through his goddamn veins like a vow, filled up with promise when Steve whispers, so alive:
“Then, we can talk.”
For @klausinamarink, who requested '"I cannot let you burn me up, nor can I resist you. No mere human can stand in a fire and not be consumed.”' at my HOBBIT-STYLE BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST and also for @steddie-week for the Day Seven prompt 'Free Space'
✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 @nerdyglassescheeseychick @swimmingbirdrunningrock @goodolefashionedloverboi @sanctumdemunson @theheadlessphilosopher @lawrencebshoggoth @mensch-anthropos-human @micheledawn1975 @lumoschildextra @dotdot-wierdlife @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @grtwdsmwhr @eddie-munson-addict
divider credits here
ao3 link here ✨
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#post s4#established steddie#angst with a happy ending#emotional hurt/comfort#true love#presumed dead#except SOMEONE was secretly a mythical creature the whole time#mythical creature steve harrington#phoenix steve harrington#eddie munson is a mess#(because he is in MOURNING)#(given he ALSO DOES NOT KNOW YET THAT HE WAS DATING A MYTHICAL CREATURE)#protective eddie munson#(he gathers Steve’s ashes a little obsessively in all honesty)#little does he know: THAT was the best possible thing to do!#inherited firebird powers#resurrection#(or something like that don’t think too hard on it—steve sure as hell doesn’t)#happy ending#established relationship#stranger things#gift fic#klausinamarink#hitlikehammers' hobbit-birthday prompt fest#hitlikehammers v words#hitlikehammers writes#steddieweek2024
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#depressing shit#emotions#sad anime#anime and manga#emo aesthetic#sad thoughts#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts#depressing anime#emo#honesty#dark aesthetic#darkness#manga aesthetic#anime art#anime#sad boi hours#sad boy#sad aesthetic#anger#fuck love
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Accept that you will disappoint people.
radically self-forgive yourself so that guilt and shame don't become a part of your wiring
so that you can show up and be accountable
#radical self-forgiveness#forgive#shadow work#healing#inner work#trauma#neurodivergence#queer#self love#harm#prose#love#relational love#self-compassion#accountability#growth#honesty#emotional healing#we all make mistakes#grow from your mistakes#ptsd#c-ptsd#masking#people-pleasing#codependency
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If someone doesn't care to accept you, respect you, believe in you, don't hesitate to move on and let them go. There are many who love and appreciate you just the way you are.
Amaka Imani Nkosazana, Sweet Destiny
#Amaka Imani Nkosazana#Sweet Destiny#quotelr#quotes#literature#lit#acceptance#appreciate#attitude#believe#concern#emotions#feelings#hesitation#honesty#hope#inspirational#inspirational-quotes#inspire#joy#kindness#letting-go#life#living#love#loving#optimism#positive-thinking#respect
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I'm not sure what's more tired, my eyes or my soul
#tired#glasses girl#girls with curls#self care#mental health matters#real talk#tumblr style#tired lol#mental health awareness#self care journey#burn out#emotional exhaustion#feeling down#honesty hour#four eyes#glasses#frames#spectacles#curly hair#dark hair#beauty#curly girl#low key#everyday life#honesty#tumblr life#authenticity#quiet strength#inner light#soft
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Chilchuck has SO many good expressions but this one is by far my favorite. like. this is his response to being told “idk man, maybe you should try telling these people you care about them and don’t want them to die”
fucking haunted
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#chilchuck tims#chilchack#manga#mypost#a) got read like a fucking book by this orc he’d just met#b) haunted by the concept of emotional honesty in a professional setting#it’s so good.
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i was so excited for venom 3 and was so unimpressed 😭 when it ended i was just like “…oh” and i have so many thoughts but i need to watch it again before i fully form them
#and i won’t be paying to see it again in theaters#a quick informal ramble ab my thoughts tho#i feel like what makes any venom media fun and interesting to partake in is the relationship between venom and eddie#like their relationship is the foundation of the plot and everything else happening is in parallel/connected to what’s going on between them#and this movie focused on their relationship like zero percent#like ofc there were a few moments here and there maybe but in all honesty the first time we see any emotion about how they feel ab each#other is at the end of the movie when they realize one of them will have to die#and i feel like we lowkey focused TOO much on the area 51 b plot#like i definitely liked the alien invasion vibes and that aspect but we spent too much time there to be having the same#fun as the first two movies#i feel like they could’ve used the codex as a source of tension between them bc they both were too uncomfortable not being able to mesh#fully whenever they wanted like they’ve spent such a long time together#and this would be removing an aspect of their relationship#esp when the whole thing that makes them special is that they’re symbiotic and have a unique and incredible bond#but ur telling me they can’t fully venom out and they’re both just like darn inconvenient#and then do it anyway a couple of times flippantly like for the dance w mrs chen#which was like such a random plot point to draw the creature back to them#clearly i have more thoughts than i initially believed#venom the last dance#venom 3#venom#symbrock
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