#like their relationship is the foundation of the plot and everything else happening is in parallel/connected to what’s going on between them

[desaturate-worlds]

i was so excited for venom 3 and was so unimpressed 😭 when it ended i was just like “…oh” and i have so many thoughts but i need to watch it again before i fully form them

[lukesaprince]

Rich Part 23

Summary: Harry and y/n deal with the aftermath of y/n's panic attack and do some retail therapy to prepare for their trip.

Warning: Smut, public bj & masturbation, exhibitionism, daddy!kink. Mention of panic attacks, Ethan and illegal dealings.

Word count: 10k+

Author's note: This chapter isn't as long as I hoped it would be and I wasn't able to get a lot of the Pleasing scene complete. I haven't been in a good writing space recently and I really want to make sure it's all planned out properly but I wanted to post something in the mean time for you! Enjoyy

- Find Series Masterlist Here -

- Find my General Masterlist here -

Harry’s stomach was in knots. It had been twisted since the moment he let you walk away from him at his office. His head was in a constant state of nausea and the very thought of you being so far from him had his body aching. Your trip was coming up so quickly, two weeks exactly now and things had taken such a sudden switch he was dizzy. 

He hadn’t seen you for a couple of days, or spoken to you properly either. For anyone else that would be normal. Seeing your partner every day wasn’t a prerequisite to having a happy relationship, but to Harry it was torture. Other than your text message when you got home Wednesday, you hadn’t spoken to him. He sent his usual good morning text Thursday morning and was only met with silence. He worked through his lunch that day so he couldn’t call you like usual, but if that ever happened he expected you to call him first. You never did. 

He tried to call you that night, then again Friday morning but you ignored him both times. He was starting to panic, starting to fear that you were seriously not okay or that he had done something to fuck everything up even if he didn’t realise it. He knew you two could communicate if that was the case, that your relationship was strong enough for you to speak to him if he did something wrong. After everything you two had been through, your foundation was strong. At least Harry believed so. 

But knowing it could be the former option and you could be at home in an unstable mental state was far worse than the possibility of him doing something that warranted you ignoring him. Harry didn’t want to push you, but he also couldn’t handle the unknown. 

He was meant to spend Saturday with you. You were going to meet him in the city to get as much shopping done for your trip as possible then he would spend the night. It was your last free day before locking down for studying and Harry wanted to make it something stress-free and enjoyable to give you a mental break. You only had a couple of free days after your exams before you both flew out so there wasn’t a lot of time to get the key essentials once your semester was over. Mostly you just wanted new clothes and wanted to pick things out for Harry as well. He was happy to oblige. 

But now… he didn’t even know if you two were okay. 

So he decided that he needed to see you. You could turn him away and tell him that you needed space or hated him or preferably that you loved him. Whatever you wanted. Harry didn’t care what you said, as long as he found you alive and okay. 

Early Saturday morning Harry was driving to your place with a bouquet of fresh lilies, a large oat latte and a croissant from your favourite local bakery. He didn’t have your keycard anymore so he couldn’t let himself in… but Harry was creative. It felt a bit reckless and immature actually, calling your best friend to let him in like it was some plot for forgiveness, especially when he was just checking up on you. But Harry didn’t want to risk you coming downstairs and turning away without seeing him or worse, just plain ignoring him.

“Hey, Harry.” Maeve greeted, smiling at the man as she held open the entrance door for him. It was especially cold outside now, so he was quick to rush inside and let the door close before he hugged her quickly as a hello. 

“Hey, Maeve. Thanks for doing this.” 

“It’s fine. You’re lucky I like you.” She teased, bumping his shoulder while they walked towards the elevator. 

Harry was fortunate enough to spend more time with your friends. As were you to spend more time with Niall and Jed. Since Harry was mostly spending time at your place, he had spent time with Maeve and Jay, even Dakari. Usually, it was just your neighbour and coworker, but there was a double date situation where Harry became aware of the ‘older guy’ Maeve was dating. 

Dakari and Harry knew each other through golf and Pleasing. They weren’t exceptionally close, but they got on well enough to treat their beautiful girlfriends to an expensive dinner in the city. Dakari was actually interested in investing in Pleasing, but Harry didn’t particularly like the way he conducted business and would’ve rather owned a third of the club than share a sixth with a man he didn’t want to associate with. Harry was glad for that decision now, since his once silent investment turned into him having a say in business decisions and provided perks that he loved to use. 

He hadn’t really used them since he met you but he hoped one day he would. With you. 

“Yeah, well, I appreciate it… Have you seen her? I haven’t spoken to her since Wednesday and I’m really fucking worried.” Harry admitted, holding the door of the elevator open for Maeve. 

“Yeah, I have.” She nodded, “she told me what happened... It’s pretty fucked up. I hope you’ve dealt with that asshole.”

Harry assumed that meant everything. 

“I have. I mean, I will.” That still didn’t mean he was going to elaborate. The plan he had set in place to deal with Ethan was one for the inner circle only. The original, small, tightly-knit circle. It was illegal after all. To frame a man for stealing $250,000. “Is she okay?”

“She’s okay… I think she just needed space, that’s all. I wouldn’t take it personally, Harry. She loves you.”

“I know and I don’t. Well, I’m trying not to, anyway.”

The rest of the ride was full of polite small talk. Maeve complimented the flowers and the croissant, but Harry didn’t need her approval to know you loved them. He knew you would because he knew everything about you. Everything except how you were feeling right now. 

Harry made sure Maeve went back to her apartment before he knocked on your door. He was nervous, he couldn’t lie, but he was hoping that you two could talk about your panic attack and hopefully end up having a nice day together. He just wanted to hold you and see you smile. 

The door swung open barely ten seconds after Harry knocked and there you were. And you looked… okay. Thank God, you looked okay. He could see the tiredness in your eyes and body by the droop of your shoulders and bags under your eyes. You hadn’t changed out of your plaid pyjamas yet but that was normal. Aside from your clear exhaustion, you looked well. 

“Hi…” Harry breathed, smiling softly. “I wanted to check up on you. You haven’t answered my calls or texts…”

Your eyes softened and it took a moment before you said or did anything. Without saying anything, you pulled him inside by his nice vest and wrapped your arms around his body, pressing yourself against him. He reciprocated the best he could with his hands full and loosely wrapped his arms around your shoulders, breathing out a huge sigh of relief.

There was a flood of instant relief through Harry just at your tight hug. Like a heavy weight dropped from his shoulders the moment you buried your face into the light blue checks of his vest. God was he fucking ecstatic. Just having your body in his arms was euphoric and there was no feeling quite like the comfortable intimacy of a hug. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry.” 

He could barely understand you with how your face was pressed against him, but he made out the words and was immediately taken aback. 

“What? Baby, why are you sorry?” He soothed, now desperate to free his hands so he could take care of you properly. 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you, I was just…” you sighed and pressed your cheek to him instead, sliding your hands beneath his vest and shirt to feel his warm skin. It was like a clutch for normalcy, a tie to feeling okay again. The last few days had been so murky and unsettling. All you wanted was to feel safe again. Harry never failed to make you feel safe and yet you pushed him away. It wasn’t fair to him and it went against everything you two tried so hard to build. “The panic attack freaked me out and I needed time to sort my feelings out… I shouldn’t have ignored you, H. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t spologise baby, please…” Harry paused, “just-let me put these down, okay? Then we can talk properly?” 

You pulled back and looked up at him, reluctantly releasing him from the hug. It was barely a minute before he was on you again. All he did was set the three items on your little table before he wrapped his arms around you properly and squeezed you tight against his body, rocking you slightly from side to side. You gladly inhaled his masculine scent, finding comfort in the rich, sexiness. It was unfair that he always smelt so good. Even after the gym he still smelt like a sexy, clean wealthy man. 

“You don’t need to apologise, y/n. I know it freaked you out.” Harry soothed, pressing his lips against the crown of your head, “I was just really fucking worried. You scared the hell out of me.”

“I know. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen at all and once it did I just kept thinking and thinking and I was just so angry and exhausted. It was a lot.”  

“I know. Trust me I get it. They can be the most debilitating thing in the entire world…” Harry soothed, pulling back from you. “Do you want to go sit down and talk about it?” 

With a nod, Harry guided you to sit down on your bed with him. It was still unmade, but Harry didn’t care. You took it a step further and crawled back towards your pillows to lie down on it instead before patting the spot beside you so Harry would join you. He shoved his shoes off then shuffled in beside you, adjusting himself so you were cuddled into his chest.

It was all done in comfortable silence and once you were settled in, Harry decided to speak first. 

“They can be traumatic.” Harry murmured, “I spent nearly five hours in the gym after one of my panic attacks.” At his words, you untucked your face from his chest and looked up at him to watch him speak. He smiled down at you, stroking his fingers across your cheek like his words weren’t deeply personal and from a dark period of his life. “I worked my body so hard and wrecked myself because I was trying to deal with my emotions. Or trying not to deal, more like it. I definitely paid for it afterwards but at the time it was the only thing I knew would get my mind off it.”

“I came home Wednesday and cried,” You whispered, watching his eyes sadden. It killed him that he wasn’t there to help you. “Then I went and bought Red Bulls and chips and pulled an all-nighter to finish off an assignment like it was nothing. I was so… I don’t even know how to describe it. I was angry, yeah, but I was also so far out of my head that I just wanted to distract myself.” 

“We all do unhealthy things to cope sometimes, y/n. There’s no one way to deal with things. Pulling an all nighter might not be the best way but you were doing the best you could to cope.”

“It didn’t help.” You frowned, tracing the checks on his vest with your nail.

“I can’t imagine it did.” He chuckled softly, sighing when you didn’t look up at him. “Don’t beat yourself up for it, baby... Maeve told me you spoke to her about it. Did that help?”

So that’s how he got in. You couldn’t really be upset by it. Maeve wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t want to see him. You were just… a bit nervous to make the first move. 

“It did. It was good to rant about it with someone who didn’t really know anyone involved.”

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” 

Harry hoped you would. After hearing nothing for days he just wanted an insight into your head. 

“You don’t have to.” He continued softly, prompting you to look up at him, “I’m happy to just be here with you if that’s what you need.” He cupped your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb, “I would’ve been here when it happened too. I hope you know that. You don’t have to go through these things alone if you don’t want to.”

“I know but I was just so overstimulated I think and… I didn’t want to say anything I regretted,” an unreadable look flashed through Harry’s eyes, like he wasn’t exactly sure how to take what you were saying. You sighed, looking back down at the same quad of checks you had been tracing with your finger during this entire conversation, “I don’t think I ever really processed what happened with Ethan and… your part in it, I guess. There’s been so much going on that I just kept ignoring it and ignoring his existence completely. Seeing him really triggered me and the more I thought about it…” you sighed again, “the more I was angry at you too, not just Ethan.” 

“You were?”

“I know you’ve only done what you thought the right thing to do was. But I just don’t get how you can work with him every day. He hurt me so fucking badly Harry…” you could feel your throat starting to get scratchy and your eyes prickling with tears. The stinging forced you to turn from him and close your eyes momentarily, but it did nothing to conceal how you were feeling. The sight practically broke Harry’s heart. “I don’t get how you can even be in the same building as him. It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I feel sick every day I have to see him, y/n. I’ve done everything I can to make sure we never cross paths but sometimes it’s inevitable. He was never meant to be on my floor on Wednesday and I never would’ve let him come anywhere near you if I knew.”

“But you still work with him, Harry!” You sat up abruptly, looking down at him. “It doesn’t make sense. He’s getting no consequences for what he put us through. I get you couldn’t go to the police because there was no evidence, I get it. But I need to do something. I need you to do something.”

“I am.” He didn’t want to get frustrated at you, not when you were hurting but he was hurting too. This wasn’t fucking easy for him and if the law meant nothing he would’ve gone after Ethan himself and made sure he never bothered you or anyone else again. But he couldn’t exactly do that, could he? He sat up as well, nudging backwards until his back was against your headboard. “Y/n I’ve been dealing with him at work the last couple of months because I had to for my plan to work. I couldn’t do anything out of the ordinary because I didn’t want to bring any attention to myself, but I have a plan. It’s just one of those things you have to wait for.”

“What is it? This plan?” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at him expectantly. 

“I can’t tell you.” Harry almost seemed reluctant to say the words, but it wasn’t because he was apprehensive about his decision to keep it a secret from you, it was because he wasn’t sure how you’d react. He didn’t want you to be mad at him, but at the same time he wasn’t going to compromise your safety and your future. 

Because that’s what it came down to. If everything went to shit and you knew even one single detail about it, you were done. 

He wasn’t going to let that happen but he also wasn’t going to sit here and lie and pretend that nothing was going on behind the scenes. That’s something he would’ve done at the beginning of your relationship, but he knew that this was just as much your fight as his and lying wasn’t the right thing to do. He could be honest and keep you safe at the same time. 

“What do you mean? Why?” 

You were immediately jumping to many conclusions, all Harry wanted to settle. He just wasn’t sure how. 

“Because it’s not exactly legal, y/n and while it’s pretty fucking foolproof I can’t risk anything. If the whole thing comes crashing down I don’t want you knowing a single bit of it.”

“But that’s-” 

“You will find out. I promise.” He interrupted, “just not until it’s over. I’m not budging on this.”

As much as you wanted Ethan to pay, you didn’t want it like this. You always knew he covered his tracks well but you hoped that by now there’d be some loose thread. Someone with hard evidence to be able to get him punished and that clearly wasn’t the case. But that didn’t mean you wanted Harry risking everything, either. It was exactly how you felt when you first met Niall and Jed and learnt about how they were blackmailing Ethan into handing over the photos. It was reckless and a huge fucking crime. You prayed that it wasn’t the same plan because nothing on this fucking planet was worth Harry going to jail and you losing him. You couldn’t even bare the thought.

“I don’t want you doing anything illegal Harry. It’s stupid!” Your voice broke in your distress, shooting Harry right in the heart like a goddamn bullet. “I’d rather him get away with everything than have you risk yourself. What if you go to jail or what if it doesn’t work? I can’t… I can’t lose you.” 

“You won’t lose me.” His eyes softened and he reached forward to cup your cheek, “You won’t.” his thumb traced over your cheek and he couldn’t help but kiss you gently before pressing his forehead against yours. “I understand you’re scared, y/n but I have to do this not only for you but for me too… I have no choice but to go down this route because he left nothing for me to work with. Fucking nothing. If there was another way, I would do it. But this is it.” 

“And you can’t tell me?” you whispered, wishing you could pry the whole truth from his mouth. 

“No.” He shook his head, leaning back just a tad so he could see your whole face at once. “But I’ve done all my due diligence, baby, I promise and I’m as far removed from it as I possibly can be. So please, just, let this one go. For now.”

“I’ll try…” you settled on, unable to promise anything more. “How long am I letting this go though? A couple of weeks? A month?” 

Harry sighed and leaned back against your headboard, “I don’t know. Could be while we’re on holiday, could be in a couple months. When I know, you know.”

“And in the meantime you’re just going to keep working with him? That doesn’t seem fair” You didn’t particularly like that idea. If it were up to you, you wouldn’t want him stepping foot into that office again while that asshole was walking around free and triggering panic attacks left right and centre. 

“Well…” His lip quirked up in a smile, “I was hoping we’d enjoy our holiday together and then who knows… maybe I won’t go back to work once we’re home. I haven’t decided yet but I’ve wanted to do something different for a while now. Just not sure what.” 

“I didn't know you were thinking of changing jobs.”

He shrugged, tracing random patterns on your back through your pyjama shirt. “I haven’t been planning anything per say, but I’m a bit bored. Seeing that asshole around doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t seem worth it anymore, not when I can do anything else and be happier for it.”

“A career change at your ripe age? That’s ballsy.” You mused, squealing and jumping slightly when he pinched your ass. 

“Well I haven’t decided anything yet, just considering my options. At my ripe age I’ve done quite well for myself so I wouldn’t mind a bit of time off. Maybe be a stay at home boyfriend while you study your pretty little ass off in your final semester.” He reached up to fiddle with the ends of your hair, twirling a strand around his finger.

“A stay at home boyfriend?” You scoffed, laughing loudly. “Stop.”

“What?” He laughed, amusement laced in his widened eyes, “we’ve got a son and two households to run, someone has to be around to cook and take care of the place.”

A son. There was something so heartwarming about Archie being referred to as your son, especially when Harry was being so casual about it. Like it was normal. Put the son reference and conjoining your two houses as one and well… that was about as committed as you could be without moving in together. Not that you were anywhere near that stage yet. 

“One of those households has a maid, a gardener and a dog walker, I’m sure it’s just fine.” You rolled your eyes, “But if you want to take care of this place and feed me I won’t complain.” 

“I’d be more than happy to feed you and fulfill any other needs you have.” He announced proudly, squeezing your hip before reaching in to peck you quickly. “Which reminds me-” he got out of bed, going to your table where your coffee and sweet treat were still waiting for you. “I got you these.” You shuffled up into a cross legged position, happily grabbing the two items when Harry sat back down on your bed. 

“Thank you.” You sipped your drink, loving the sweet taste of it. “And thank you for driving all the way down here. It means a lot.” You tore open the paper bag, ripping off a small piece of the croissant and offering it to Harry. 

“No no. It’s yours.” He declined, happy when you didn’t argue and at the piece. “And you don’t need to thank me. I love you, y/n and I wanted to see you. I always do” He smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“I love you too.” You pressed your hand on his knee and reached in to kiss him quickly, loving the way his hand returned to your back to trace random shapes over it. “I love this by the way. I never thought I’d find a vest sexy but you look really good.” You traced over the v-neck of his checkered vest with your clean hand, looking up at him. You really missed him. 

“Thanks darling. It’s vintage.” He smirked, wrapping his arm around your hip to drag you back to sit properly beside him. You felt a little dirty compared to him in his nice outfit, especially since you had been wearing the same clothes for days and desperately needed to wash your hair. Harry didn’t seem to care though and you really appreciated that. Washing your hair was a mission by itself. Add a panic attack and assignment stress and you couldn’t think of anything worse, even if the thought of a long hot shower did sound quite nice. 

“I like it.” You took a big bite of your croissant this time, moaning at the taste of the chocolate filling. You slumped against Harry, happily chewing it while he rubbed your hip and kissed your head. 

“Good?” He mused, sliding his hand just underneath your pyjama top to feel your soft skin. 

“So good.” You nodded enthusiastically. 

“I’m glad.” He laughed. A comfortable silence fell over you two, with small comments and conversation here and there. It was nice to just spend time with Harry, even if you weren’t doing much of anything. “Would you still be interested in going shopping?”

“Today?” You sat up properly and looked at him, both your coffee and croisssnt long gone and in your stomach. 

“If you’re up for it. We did plan for today but there’s no pressure. I’m more than happy to change into comfortable clothes and watch Netflix all day. Truly.” 

“No no. I could go shopping. We need to get ready for our trip, right?” You grinned, getting excited at the thought of a day walking around the shops and buying so many cute outfits for your trip. Secretly though, you liked the idea of Harry going with you more than the shopping itself. 

“We do. Yes.” He smiled, happy that you had a bit more energy. Harry hated seeing you down. Any emotion except pleasure and happiness had him determined to fix whatever the issue was. “Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

“Yep.” You climbed over him to get out of bed, stopping when you were straddling him. His hands found your hips immediately, unable to keep them off you. “I need to wash my hair though, so can you wait an hour? I’ll try and be quick.”

An hour. By that calculation you were doing your ‘everything shower’ and a full face of makeup. Harry now knew what that meant, but he was happy to sit around and keep himself occupied if that meant you were taking care of yourself. The concept wasn’t as relaxing as he thought it would be. It was more of a frustrating marathon of events where each one presented its own challenge. He made the mistake of wanting to join you for one of them, thinking it would be fun and you ended up kicking him out because you didn’t have enough space to shave the back of your leg. 

If there was one shower he let you have alone, it was that one. 

Harry chuckled and nodded, squeezing your hips then helping you climb the rest of the way off the bed. “Take your time, y/n. We’ve got all day.” 

You managed to get everything done in just over an hour and then you and Harry were on your way to the city. You grabbed another coffee as soon as you made it into the shopping centre, then the shop-to-shop walking began. There were a few items you had on your list that you were aiming to buy, but for the most part you just wanted to try a bunch of stuff on and see what you liked. Harry of course was happy to offer his suggestions and his wallet which only seemed to get him more excited to pick things out for you. 

“I was thinking…”

“Mh?” You hummed, buckling up the buckle on a pair of baby pink suede platform heels. They definitely weren’t Europe-appropriate, but you got a little sidetracked and with Harry encouraging you to try on everything you so much as looked at, it was easy to get distracted by anything that looked pretty.

“After your assignment is submitted Friday, why don’t we pack up your place and you can stay with me until we leave for our trip?”

“Harry I still have to study for two exams. As much as I love that idea, you don’t want me taking over your house.” You responded, standing up from the couch to test the comfort of the shoes. You stepped around them a little, walking to the closest mirror to have a look at them properly. “And I’m sure my parents would hate that I’m spending a week at yours instead of going home.”

“But you weren’t meant to go home at all, remember? Not until your exams were finished.” Harry coaxed, standing up from the couch to step behind you in the mirror and wrap his arms around your waist. You shivered slightly against him, still focusing on looking at the heels on your feet. “This time you’re close to home, close to Archie…” He hummed, sliding his nose up the side of your neck. This time you really shivered and your focus was taken completely away from your shoes. Not that you were thinking of buying them anyway. They were way too expensive but the allure of trying on Prada shoes alongside a man who already put aside a pair of sunglasses and a belt for himself was way too strong. “Close to me…” this time his lips brushed against your skin, leaving a trail right underneath your ear. 

Your breath hitched ever so slightly, making Harry smirk at you in the mirror. Oh he had you now. Your body was becoming more pliant in his arms and you were leaning against him more and more with every passing second. 

“You could study during the day and have Archie keep you company then at night I could feed you and help you… relax,” his hand flattened against your belly, causing the bold rings on his fingers to twinkle in the lighting. You had a sudden craving for those fingers to be in your mouth or further down south where he actually could make you relax. 

“I’ll be studying all the time, Harry.” You weren’t sure why you were protesting it so much, not when the thought of a quick orgasm as your 15-minute study break sounded so delicious. 

“And I’ll be right there beside you, working or reading or providing you with a quick… study break. Whatever you need, hm.” He drawled, kissing your cheek. All you could do was nod because you were so fucking dazed and way too horny in the middle of a store you couldn’t afford. “Do you like the shoes?”

“What?” 

You didn’t even hear what he said.

“The shoes.” He tapped your belly, looking down at your feet. “Are they comfortable?”

“Oh…” You tried to snap out of it and stepped a little in place, feeling the shoes mould perfectly to your feet. God, why did you have to love something so expensive? “Yeah, they’re comfy but I don’t need them.”

“Nonsense. They’re baby pink, your favourite colour.” Harry grinned, pulling back to step in front of you instead. The fact that he called it ‘baby pink’ and not ‘light pink’ had you screaming on the inside. He grabbed onto one of your hands, holding it out between you. “Do a spin.”

You did as told and did a 360 spin for him, liking how your heights were a bit more even with the tall heel. Without saying anything more to you, he turned to the sales associate who was waiting patiently beside the couch Harry was just sitting on. “Do you have a matching bag to these? In a baby pink?”

“Yes, sir. We have a cross body and a shoulder bag.”

“Perfect. Bring them both, please.” Harry turned back to you, then suddenly whipped his head around to the woman before she could step away, “Oh, and please bring some sunglasses too. Anything you think might suit her. Thanks, love.”

“Harry, what are you doing?” You hissed, “I’m not buying anything.”

“No, I am. I like you in pink. Besides, isn’t a shoulder bag and sunglasses a necessity for a holiday?” He mused, squeezing your hips. “Let me spoil you, darling. For doing so well on your exams.”

“I haven’t even done them yet.” You blushed, protesting slightly while threading your fingers behind his neck. “You don’t have to buy me such expensive things, H. You’ve already gotten me so much today.”

“And? You deserve it.” Harry assured you, reaching forward to kiss you gently. The lipstick you applied before you left was almost gone by now. Harry could barely keep his hands off you and you didn’t really want him to. These quick, casual pecks and signs of affection meant so much more to you than anything he could buy. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, threading your fingers softly into the hair at the nape of his neck to kiss him again. “Really. Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, baby.” He kissed you again and then sealed it with another quick peck before using his grip on your hips to turn you back towards the mirror. “Now tell me you don’t love the shoes. I know you can’t.”

It was store after store of shopping. You tried to keep things concise to the list you brought of things you wanted to get, but just like the Prada shoes… and bag… and sunglasses, you were both easily distracted. You had more fun dressing Harry up more than anything. Seeing him try on complete outfits you picked out for him just hit the spot for you. You loved it.

And it had nothing to do with him looking absolutely delicious in every fucking thing. You picked out a bit of a joke outfit in one of the ‘younger’ stores as Harry liked to call it, styling him in something more skater boy than his usual refined, delicious European style and he still looked hot as anything. 

Harry hated it of course, but he did like the graphic t-shirt and managed to style it in his own way with the pair of dress pants he had on. God, he was just so fucking hot. By the third men's store you brought him into, you were sweating. You couldn’t explain why it was such a turn-on to watch him open and close a curtain and show off different outfits or why a linen button-up much like everything else he has riled you up until you were clenching your thighs, but it just did. 

You finally truly understood why he liked buying you things so much. 

“Alright, last one then I need food. It’s practically dinner time and there’s a sushi train near here. I could demolish like twenty of those little plates.” Harry chuckled to himself and opened the door of the fitting room he was in. Upon revealing himself, your mouth properly dropped. 

It was another button-up style top but this time it was entirely made out of white crochet squares. The design was fine and perfect beyond perfect and had so many little holes throughout the design, that you could see slivers of skin everywhere. Then there was the obvious sliver of skin. The top three undone buttons that Harry had purposefully left open to expose his cross necklace and littered chest hairs. The tails of his swallows were peaking past the edges and with particular movements, the moth became more visible.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

“Not sure about this one, love. ‘Dunno why.” Harry ran his hands down the fabric, looking at his shirt until he realised you hadn’t said anything. “Y/n?” 

Seeing the look at your face, Harry could see exactly what your opinion was on his shirt. 

“I love it.” You finally said, walking towards him so you could feel the soft lace across his chest. He smirked and placed his hands on your waist. “It’s soft.”

Just the feeling of the soft lace against his warm body was driving you crazy. His body heat was radiating against your hands and you suddenly craved it against your body. All this talk about ‘study breaks’ and being in the same house as him for an entire week had your head in a spin. You couldn’t stop thinking about having constant sex and how tempting it would be to have so much privacy for so long.

And this was before you two were going to have an entire month together. God, the thought of that… your vagina would never be the same, you knew that for sure.

“Mh. Comfy too.” He commented, shivering when you dug your nails through the lace holes to scratch at his chest. “So y’like it?” Harry’s head cocked a little as the attraction in your eyes quickly started to reflect in his own. 

“Uhuh.”

You peeked around quickly to make sure you were alone and when the coast was clear you made the quick decision to walk him backwards back into the fitting room. Harry was happy to follow along with you, barely being able to ask what you were doing before you locked the door behind you and grabbed onto his face to kiss him.

Harry squeezed your waist and chuckled into your mouth, sighing softly against your lips while he kissed back. His arms started to wrap tightly around you and he was trying so hard to not moan at how eager you were pressing yourself against him and nibbling on his lip and tugging on his hair and fucking hell he was going dizzy. 

You weren’t one to start things like this and Harry was enjoying every fucking moment.

“What are you doing, darling? Hm?” Harry mused, eyes fluttering shut as you tugged his head back by his hair to gain easier access to his neck. His fingers dug deeper into the small of your back in an attempt to ground himself. He had to be quiet.

“I need your cock in my mouth,” You whispered against his skin while sliding your hand down his chest towards his dress pants. Harry tensed immediately beneath you, nearly groaning loudly when your hand landed on his cock. “Please, Daddy.” 

You started to palm over his half-hard cock which was very quickly hardening properly beneath your hand. Harry’s head tipped back against the wall and his jaw went slack. He could barely fucking believe what was happening right now.

What you were doing was reckless. Inappropriate and very much illegal. Giving head on a yacht in the open ocean didn’t exactly compare to giving head in a small enclosed fitting room where there were many more people around and any small noise would give you away.

To be honest though, you didn’t really give a fuck. You could tell Harry liked that.

You pulled back from his skin and made eye contact with him while squeezing him through his pants hard enough to make his eyes flutter. Reaching forward, you kissed him softly and spoke through soft kisses until he verbally agreed to have you on your knees before him. “Let me say thank you… please… I need it so bad, Daddy.”

Harry breathed heavily against your mouth and threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of your neck to tighten them in an almost warning way. “You’ve got to be quick, y/n. Unless you want to be caught.”

Something told you Harry wouldn’t have any issues being caught with his cock in your mouth. 

With a quick nod from Harry, you began the descent onto your knees. But before they even bent, he stopped you. “Wait.” He murmured, grabbing his expensive vest that was hanging on the back of the door and then folding it in half so it was thicker. “For your knees.” 

“I thought you liked it when they bruised.” You grinned, taking the vest nonetheless and putting it on the carpet in front of his feet. You slowly got down on your knees, looking back at the lock for a second just to double-check it was actually locked. It was thrilling to be in such a compromising position, but that didn’t mean you actually wanted someone to walk in on you two. 

“Only when I can take care of you after.” Harry sighed, the sight of you before him enough to make him breathless. He tried to relax against the wall separating your fitting room from the one next door. It thankfully went floor to ceiling, so you hoped that would muffle most of the noise. As much as you could try to keep quiet, Harry was quite terrible at it and it was hard to give a proper satisfying blowjob without making some sort of noise. 

Hopefully, the store’s music would cover it.

“You always take care of me. Now it’s my turn.” You looked up at him with a smile, sliding your hands over his thighs. He looked down at you, sliding his hand through your hair to push it back from your face so he could watch your facial expressions and every move you made. 

“You look so hot in this” You complimented, pushing his button-up top up his stomach to expose his belly button and below. “You better buy it.” you leaned forward and licked a stripe from the button of his pants to his belly button, making sure to do it once more while you undid his pants. 

“I will…” Harry assured, sighing out like a pretty angel just at the feeling of your mouth on his lower belly. “You like it so I have to buy it.”

“Mhmm. Y’gonna look so good, Daddy…” 

Harry’s pants easily fell to his ankles once the button came undone. They were straight-legged and with his tight briefs pressing his cock down, they slid right down. Of course, the briefs didn’t last very long either and they soon joined Harry’s pants at his ankles.

You had no time to tease or kiss every inch of exposed skin like you wanted to. This had to be quick which was a shame when he looked so fucking hot standing there naked aside from the pretty lace button-up you wanted to keep on him. It was like sexy lingerie and it messed with your head much more than you would’ve liked. 

“I only look good for you, darling. You’re the only one I want to… shit…” 

Harry couldn’t even finish his words, not when you spat on your hand, wrapped it around him and brought him to your mouth without any fucking warning. You jerked him slowly with your hand, focusing on the base while you slid his head against your tongue. His hips bucked against your mouth at the feeling, causing you to choke a little on his cock and force yourself to pull back from him. 

“You’ve got to relax.” You licked your tongue slowly against his slit, savouring the taste of his precum. You made a show of it too and closed your eyes to hum gently once it collected on your tongue. “As much as I love choking on your cock, it’s too loud.” 

You were almost scolding him, reprimanding him for not being good and staying pressed against the wall. It was reminiscent of the first time you figured out you loved him, not that Harry knew it like that. Harry remembered the first shower blowjob he got from you as a bold move, not the craving for control that you desperately wanted at the time.

Now… you’d give up any and all control to Harry, knowing that you were really the one in charge. That’s how you two worked. You both had your limits and while Harry hadn’t really pushed them to the limits very often, he had the power to do so because you gave it to him.

And how he was putty in your hands. 

“Don’t think I won’t get you back for this…” he shuddered, fisting your hair tighter when you brought him back into your mouth, wrapping your lips around him perfectly. All you did was smile around his cock while pressing the vein underneath his length back and forth on your tongue. 

You were looking forward to the payback. 

The longer you had him in your mouth, the less you started to care about how loud you were being. Harry was doing well to keep still, albeit practically trembling against you, but his hands were tugging on your hair roughly and he couldn’t stop the string of curses in place of loud moans he wanted make for you. 

There was just nothing like the sound of male pleasure. Deep, guttural groans and whimpers, hushed lines of praise and degradation and pleads of your name. A loud curse when you clenched around him or a whimpered one when you swallowed around him like you were doing now. 

Your hand was still wrapped around his base, fingers reached further back to press against his frenulum and apply pressure to his balls at the same time. You kept moving your mouth quickly and sloppily over his tip, swirling your tongue around his head where he was most sensitive.

“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n. God… your mouth.” 

It was borderline blasphemy the way he used God’s name. The way he cursed and moaned it out because you were giving him one of the most insane blowjobs of his entire life. There was pleasure in all types of blowjob, but there was nothing quite toe-curling like having his tip sucked and flicked at so fucking harshly. Harry almost felt like he needed to squeal like a little girl.

And you were eating it up. Literally. 

Sucking Harry off just turned you on to level 100. There was something about the shape of his cock… the weight of it on your tongue… his scent and soft skin, the way he was so incredibly hard for you and yet so sensitive and dainty at the same time. All of it. Add the dirty talk and the hair pulling and his nails scratching at your head like he wanted to force your head closer so you’d choke on him and you were practically a puddle in your jeans.

You wanted to touch yourself. To just dip your fingers in your underwear and touch the pain away. Just a little.

“Can I touch myself, Daddy? I’ll be quick, I promise.” You whispered, pulling off him to speak and catch your breath while you continued jerking him off. 

Even on your knees with all the power in this situation, you still asked permission to touch yourself. Harry had to force his mind elsewhere to not prematurely cum all over your nice outfit. 

“Do it. Make yourself cum f’me, baby. You’ve been sucking me so fucking good.” He praised, rubbing his thumb over your messy mouth. Your once perfect lipliner was all smudged now, leaving behind your pretty swollen lips for Harry to trace. He had a sudden craving to kiss you silly, but with your manicured fingers wrapped around him, his cock’s craving was stronger. Hungrier. 

You nodded, bringing his cock to your mouth and bopping against it while you undid your jeans so you could slide your hand into your underwear. It was like instant relief the moment your fingers met your clit. You were soaked and slippery and so fucking horny you knew it wouldn’t take long for you to finish yourself off. 

Harry was close too. You could tell by his heavier breathing and the slight twitching in his cock. You kept your lips wrapped around his tip and focused your attention there while you used one hand on his balls and the other to touch yourself. 

The closer both of you got to finishing, the louder your noises became. You tried so hard to hide it, to keep your noises reduced to a sigh especially when you could hear people talking all around you, but it was pretty damn hard. Your one saving grace was the music echoing through the speakers, but you were getting so lost in the pleasure you didn’t know or care whether it was loud enough to cover what you two were doing.

“Shit, y/n. ‘M close. ‘M getting so close…” 

Keeping your lips wrapped around him, you took his warning as a sign to jerk him faster and time your own circles on your clit with every movement you made on his cock. And it wasn’t long after his warning when you felt his whole body tremble against you. His thighs tensed and his abs clenched, his fingers stilled in your hair.

Harry had to bite down on his own fist to try and muffle the noise he let out when he finally came in your mouth, letting ribbons and ribbons of cum fill your throat until you had to swallow to make more room. He wanted to watch you take all of it and make yourself finish, but he could barely stand up straight let alone keep his eyes open to see the way you shook and squeezed your eyes shut when your own orgasm rushed over you. 

When he nudged your head away due to sensitivity, you both seemed to collapse in your own positions to try and calm down from your highs. Your head tilted against his thigh and you just sat there for a moment collecting yourself before deciding to redress Harry. You two had been in the dressing room for way too long now and the post-orgasm clarity was starting to make you freak out about what you had just done.

You only got his button done up before Harry was picking you up off the floor and drawing you in for a heated kiss.

“God I fucking love you.” He murmured, kissing you over and over again while you giggled into his mouth. “Thank you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled, poking his chest. “We should do that again sometime.” You breathed through a laugh while zipping up his pants for him. You were a little in disbelief at what just happened. 

“We should,” Harry smirked, reaching between you to zip up your jeans and do the button for you. “Though next time it’ll be you trying to keep quiet and we both know you have a harder time keeping your noises to yourself.”

“That’s so not true!” you scoffed, turning to the mirror so you could fix your hair. “I can keep completely silent thank you very much,” you couldn’t, not when you were with Harry anyway. 

“You’re such a liar.” He laughed, shaking his head while taking the lace shirt off so he could put his own clothes back on. You watched him through the mirror, still overly horny and unsatisfied. Seeing his bare chest just made you want his cock in your mouth again. Or better and far more satisfying, inside you. “I can very easily prove you wrong though, I hope you know that.” 

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes and then without any warning felt Harry press his chest into your back while he wrapped his hand around your neck. Your eyes widened and you felt your head go dizzy when he applied pressure just in the right spots. 

“I’ve been very generous to you today, baby, and while having my cock in y’mouth is a very nice thank you, I don’t think it warrants attitude, does it?” he murmured, making eye contact with you in the mirror while running his nose up the length of your neck. 

Fuck me. 

God, you wished he would. 

You swallowed thickly, a little overwhelmed at how dominant he became in a flash. You had almost forgotten what it was like to have him so in control and so powerful. Since you got together he had been so soft and loving. The parts of him that would correct you and reprimand you when you broke eye contact or showed a hint of attitude had significantly softened. They hadn’t disappeared altogether, your sex and your life together was still playful and Harry was most definitely in charge, but with your lives being so busy and having so many things to work through, it was clear to both of you that things had changed. 

You just hadn’t really spoken about it. 

But you didn’t want to forget. You didn’t want Harry to think that he couldn’t push boundaries anymore or be rough with you just because you two were in a relationship. In the beginning you knew he didn’t want to overstep because things were so emotionally raw still, but now that things were good between you two… 

You put it down to not having time, which was a big part of the problem. Still, you missed it.

“N-no…” You breathed, sliding your hand to cover the one he had around your neck, “No, it doesn’t.”

“Exactly. So?” He prompted with a raised brow, caressing his fingers up and down the sides of your neck with little pressure. 

“‘M sorry, Daddy.” 

The title slipped out easily, naturally. It was never going to be part of your lives 24/7 because that wasn’t your dynamic, but you two were clearly still playing and you were still in the high of sucking him off. It was just so easy to let go of all thoughts and issues when he took control like this. 

“Good girl, angel.” He smiled, manoeuvring your face to the side so he could kiss you and look at you directly. You savoured the kiss, craving that closeness even when he pulled away to run his thumb over your lips. “Are you still hungry?”

You nodded. “Very.”

“Good.” His eyes softened and he couldn’t resist kissing you again. “Wait outside then, okay? I’ll get dressed then we’ll drop our bags to the car and go get dinner.” 

“Okay.” You nodded again, wanting nothing more than to just cling to him and never let you go. Still, you did what he asked and cautiously slipped out of the room, thankful that the one person standing out there paid no attention to you or even Harry when he exited his fitting room a minute later.

It was decided during your dinner together that you’d go back with Harry to his house. After spending such a nice day together, you didn’t really want to go home. You knew you should’ve, especially since you still had one assignment to go before you could focus on studying for your exams, but you knew that you wouldn’t get anything done after the week you’ve had whether you were with Harry or without him.

And you’d much rather be with him. 

When you got to his home, you wanted to try everything on again just to make sure you liked what you got in case you changed your mind. Fitting room mirrors can give you the best or worst confidence in the world and you always need to see things in your own house (or Harry’s in this case) to make a final decision. While Harry didn’t quite understand your logic, he was happy to sit in his nice armchair and watch you try everything on for him. 

Harry found it quite adorable the way you analysed yourself. The look of concentration and slight furrow in your brow as you observed yourself from every angle. Harry liked everything on you of course, but he quickly learnt you still needed to hear it from him at least three times before you believed it. 

“Okay, last one.” You declared, emerging from his walk-in closet where you just looked at the dress for a solid three minutes before wanting Harry’s opinion. 

“It’s gorgeous. I love the colour on you.” Harry beamed, fingers laced together with his elbows resting on his parted knees. He scanned your body, thinking that this one was possibly his favourite dress of the day. “Makes your bum look great.”

“Stop.” You scoffed, laughing while looking back in the mirror. You were able to see it from the doorway of his walk-in robe, which was handy. “Seriously, though. You don’t think it washes me out?”

“No. I think it suits you perfectly. It’s different from other dresses you have too.” 

You didn’t quite understand how Harry had the patience to sit through a haul like this. Your dad never did, even when you forced him to at least pretend to be interested and yet Harry acted like every outfit was the newest, greatest thing he had ever seen. If it were even possible, you loved him more for it. 

“That’s what I was thinking. I wanted a few things that are a bit more unique, y’know? Even though I’ll probably end up wearing the same things all the time anyway.” You laughed to yourself, eyes focused on the dress. You tilted your body side to side, watching how the fabric flowed around you. “So you definitely like it?”

Barely a minute after his second assurance and you needed another. Harry would happily tell you how beautiful you are a million times if that made you happy. 

“Yes.” Harry nodded, “1000%”

“1000% huh?” You grinned at him. He nodded with an equally happy smile. “Okay then. I’m satisfied with my purchases now and I feel justified.” You announced it like you were proud of the outcome, even though you didn’t buy a single item of anything that you tried on for Harry. He fucking loved it though. If you ordered him to buy you a new car or a $20,000 bag he’d do so in a heartbeat then need to fuck you because of how much it turned him on.

“Good.” Harry laughed, sitting back in his chair. “C’mere, baby.” He motioned you over to him, letting you step between his parted before he wrapped his arms around your hips. You smiled down at him, slinging your arms around his neck.

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” He smiled, hugging you closer to him. “Are you feeling better after this morning?”

Your smile faltered and suddenly the happiness you got from your little shopping spree disappeared into thin air. It was nothing but a quick distraction, easily ruined by a reality check. You couldn’t blame Harry though. All he did was check in on you.

You nodded and started twirling the hair at the nape of his neck around your fingers. “Yeah… it was nice to have the distraction. There’s just been so much shit going on at the moment and I feel like I haven’t breathed properly for weeks. I just want to have a clear head for once, y’know? Just not think about anything.” you sighed, looking down for a moment.

“I can help with that,” Harry said softly, tilting your head up with his index finger so you were forced to look at him. “You know that right, y/n? I can give you anything you want…” his voice dropped an octave and you were instantly aware that he wasn’t offering a listening ear. Your breath hitched and your body completely tensed up in his arms, “...anything you need.” 

“I know…” you whispered, unable to look anywhere except right into his darkening gaze.

“So let me…” he urged, “Do you want me to clear your head for you?...” he scanned your face, sliding the tip of his index finger from your chin down to trace along your neck. It was a trail of fire. Just the path of his fingertip was making you need to claw out of your own skin and he had barely touched you. It felt like he hadn’t properly touched you for weeks. “To take away all your stress and your thoughts… let you be completely relaxed?”

You were practically trembling in his touch. One hand was squeezing your waist and the other was trailing patterns over your neck and your collarbones, down to the modest neckline of your dress. You were dying. 

“I can take full control if you want me to, y/n. You just have to say the word.” He flattened his palm against your neck, making you flutter your eyes closed as he enclosed his hand around it. He applied no pressure, just a loose hold to show you what he could do to you. For you. “I can be Harry or Daddy… whatever you need. Anything you need.”

The way his mouth moved at the two clear syllables of ‘Daddy’ had you sweating. He was giving you every choice, every option so that he knew exactly what you needed and wanted. So that he could take the reigns and let you sink into your submissive bliss. 

You needed that more than anything else in the entire world.

“I…” your words faltered, even as you forced yourself to look at him. “I need you, Daddy. Please.”

Harry nodded, scanning your face once more as the side of his mouth lifted ever so slightly in the softest smile he could muster. “I love you and I’m so proud of you for everything you’re achieving, y/n. It takes a lot of strength and endurance to be as strong as you have been.” Now it was your heart that was trembling. “Now let me do it for you. You’re gonna be a good girl for me, aren’t you, darling?”

“Yes-yes, thank you.” You nodded eagerly, wanting to sink into his arms so he could take the weight off your feet for you. If he could walk for you, you would’ve let him. 

“Good. I want to take you back to Pleasing.”

━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━ ♡ ━━━━━━━

Tag List: @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @gurugirl @hsonlyangelxo @kkr1001 @falloutby

@caynonmoondreams @theskyyabove @sykostyles @harryslittlefreakk @avaaas-world

@littlenatilda @grabiolla @forgetdelaney @hislcstyles @yourdatcrazyweirdo

@elidoho @esnyhoney @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs @lillefroe @harrysrockstarsgf

@hrrypinks @justlemmeadoreyou @swagg13r @whatamievendoingonhere @delicatepointofharry

@onlyangellucifer @youcan-nolonger-run @gotdrxnkonu @cheappackofcigerattes @idrawshapesonpeople07

@straightontilmornin @mellamolayla @stilesissaved @ribbonknives @scndsofsummer

@floral-recs @styles.sturniolo @maryjahps @babyfratelli7 @voniikg

@complikyfreak @tswiftsgf @triski73 @michellekstyles @freedomfireflies @tiredinwinter @butdaddyilovehim-hs

*please make sure your settings allow you to be tagged ❤️*

Please like and reblog if you enjoyed! 🤍

Patreon

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about Nathalie's original plotline of wanting to betray Gabriel after getting the Miraculous from the heroes so she can use the Wish herself in order to make Gabriel fall in love with her (according to the leaked Bible this used to be her motivation for helping Gabriel all along but it got scrapped from the show before it ever came up). Do you think this would've been a better plot for Nathalie than what we've got ?

I have extremely mixed feelings about that concept, so let's talk through them!

On the one hand, I am here for Nathalie having a motivation beyond, "I love Gabriel so much that I will do everything to make him happy, even if it means committing terrorism, supporting child abuse, and forfeiting my life!" While that kind of selfless motivation can make for an interesting character - or at least an interesting character arc - it requires a lot more character development than Nathalie was given. The way they did it in the show is just another entry in the show's troubling trend of making characters (and notably mainly female characters) do stupid stuff in the name of love.

Love making people do stupid things is a very real phenomena, so I'm not against that happening from time to time. But love can also make you do wonderful things and miraculous rarely shows us those moments. All the big, dramatic, love-based choices have been ones that lead to dire consequences and personal suffering even if the choice was framed as a loving and/or selfless act. Because of that, I'm okay with Nathalie's "sacrifice" being re-framed as a selfish act done because she thinks that she'll be able to get the miraculous and make herself healthy again.

This alternate motivation would pair well with Gabriel's motivation. I like that because they're co-conspirators, so having them share a theme of selfish love would allow for some interesting ideas. For example, what if we did something crazy and let the villains selfish love continually hurt them while the heroes' selfless love continually led to victory? I know, I'm crazy! Who would want that kind of nonsense in a show that's supposed to be all about love and friendship? (Btw, that was sarcasm)

At the same time, I'm really tired of characters being defined by their romantic interests and little else. It makes sense for Gabriel since he's our big bad who is doing everything out of love for his wife, but all of the other characters should be allowed to have more interesting, rich lives in which romance is just one of the many things that they have going on. It would make for a more interesting cast AND really highlight that Gabriel's love is unhealthy while the "true love" of our teens is healthy. A very important theme that has been painfully absent from the show even though it seemed like it was going to be a thing back in the early seasons!

Nino made movies. Marinette was super into fashion and helping her friends. Adrien liked video games and seemed to be into fencing, too. But as time has gone on, the story has become more and more focused on the romantic relationships, pushing aside plots that focus on other things and I'm not a fan.

I'm a big fan of the idea that the foundations of a good romance are a strong friendship and all members of the romantic relationship having personal lives separate from their romantic partner(s). As such, I want a show that gives friendship and romance equal billing. It can even be the friendship between the romantic leads! Episodes like Gamer and Horrificator were excellent in those regards as they allowed for some nice romantic tension while also developing the characters' interests and backstories.

In summary, if we fix canon so that the teen characters all have more healthy romantic relationships, then I'm pretty open to Nathalie keeping her original motivation as it certainly has potential. However, I'd only give it to her if Nathalie and Gabriel were going to get a lot more screen time and development as it adds a lot of complexity to their dynamic and - as I said in another recent post - you shouldn't add complexity to your story unless you're going to actually explore it.

Personally, I don't see myself ever adding this to Nathalie's character since I generally don't have much interest in developing her and Gabriel. Instead, I usually just switch Nathalie's motivation from love of Gabriel to love of Emilie and no, I don't mean romantic love. While I'm totally cool with lesbian Nathalie, I'm a massive fan of her being motivated out of platonic love simply because we don't see that often enough. It's always romance, romance, romance with a little familial love thrown in here and there for diversity and that's fine. Those are strong motivators. But platonic love can be just as powerful and Miraculous is supposed to be about romantic love AND friendship and I don't see why we need to limit the friendship angle to the teen characters. If Gabriel is our example of selfish romantic love, then let Nathalie be our example of selfish friendship.

Assuming that Emilie is some flavor of decent parent, do you really think that she's going to look at Gabriel and Nathalie's actions and be pleased by how they treated Adrien? No! She's going to be furious with both of them! Gabriel for hatching this crazy plot and Nathalie for going along with it. (Btw, this is yet another reason why I like good Emilie. Gabriel and Nathalie are so freaking selfish that I don't really see them caring if the law, the heroes, or the guardians find them guilty. They'd only care about Emilie's judgement and maybe Adrien's. I can see Gabriel going to jail unphased, but melting into a puddle when Emilie serves him with divorce papers while refusing to speak to him. I want him to get his wish - though ideally not via his own actions - but have it be a total monkey's paw!)

[chaos0pikachu]

Top is Boring & He Didn't Have to Be

tldr: I'm stanning Top outta spite b/c the show won't develop him beyond being Mew's True Love

Hear me out, I have been on the "Top's a fuckboi" train since ep01 and while I don't think that anymore I do miss when Top had a freaking personality.

There's a separate post to make about what I consider mid writing in regards to Top and Mew's romantic relationship, but I ain't getting into all~~ that in this post. The point is, during their relationship both post and pre breakup, Mew under goes change, and is the focal character in that entire story. He's an active participant in that plot and has subplots with Boston and Ray.

Top doesn't. Top exists only to be Mew's True Love at this point. He has no story outside of that. He wanted to get with Mew for selfish reasons initially, somewhere along the line fell in love (which was majority from Mew's POV), and now just wants to win Mew back.

As a character his story has become stagnant: Top starts the series pursuing Mew, post inciting incident he's still pursuing Mew. Nothing's really changed for him as a character he's doing the same shit.

What does Top want outside of being with Mew? We don't know! It doesn't matter. That's his only motivation: to win Mew back. He character begins and ends there.

He hasn't even been given a scene to like, talk about why he loves Mew so much. Or for us as an audience to understand why he loves Mew; let's look at a counterpoint: Sand & Ray.

Textually Ray has said Sand makes him incredibly happy, we've also seen them bond over common interests like music, Sand has been a foundation for Ray's rehabilitation. We've also learned things about them via them opening up to each other. Ray has opened up to Sand about his mother, Sand has talked about his father, he's shared his dream of traveling to music festivals with Ray. I have my issues with Sand and Ray as a couple, but the narrative has made clear why they like each other at least. And been sure to have them both take an active interest in the other (even if Ray was poor touring for a bit).

We've only seen one scene where we see that Mew provided Top with a sense of comfort (with his insomnia), and then like, nothing outside of that. Everything else is from Mew's pov. Their various dates have always had Mew as the focal point, and none of them had Top opening up to Mew or Mew taking an active interest in Top as a person. So we learn nothing about Top by extension. He's just The Ideal.

I originally thought this was intentional, but apparently it was not and just meant to be viewed as straightforwardly romantic. Because they broke up and we still haven't learned anything about Top outside of: he's in love with Mew, he wants to be with Mew.

Hell during their silent dance date I woulda taken Top saying he wanted to be a disco dancer but is pursuing business instead for stability like something! Top also did coke to cope but that was dropped too and even that ended up being more about Mew than Top. We don't see Top bringing up his past coke usage even as a warning for Mew, or cautionary tale, or even like "remember when you told me to stop doing coke and now you're doing coke what the fuck happened Mew??"

All the other characters at least have interests. We know Top draws, but the show hasn't even given him a like "lemme draw Mew like one of my french girls" scene. Or a scene where he like, shows Mew his drawings of his family and talks about them.

Did Top start drawing as an outlet after the fire? Does his family support his art? Does he have any interest in like, exploring art museums, does he want to open his own art exhibit, or travel to see a specific piece or work or anything??

There coulda been a parallel with Boston/Nick where Top's other boyfriends never took an active interest in his art but Mew validates it making it hurt all the more when Mew burns it in front of him later.

Other characters are allowed interests and backstory to enrich them. Nick has an interest in tech, okay now he's interning at an animation/film studio. Ray has his alcoholism recovery storyline, Sand loves music and wants to travel festivals. Boston likes photography. They've all talked about their families at some point and we've met all of their parents at this point (including Mew's even!).

Does Top have parents/guardians or was he an egg? Is he bl baby jesus?

What does Top want? Who is he as a character?

The narrative may have no empathy for Boston as a character, but at least Boston is a fully realized one. He has motivations, a home life, he has interests, he's going to New York, he's selfish, impulsive and genuinely can be a decent person. He's got relationships with various characters that aren't about his relationship with Nick, nor is that all he discusses with them.

Top talks to Cheum, well it's about Mew. Top talks with Ray, well that's also about Mew. Top talks with Boston (post breakup), yeah, that's about Mew too. Even his conversations with Boeing are about Mew. Heck his convos with Sand are about Boeing and Mew so I guess there's at least a little variety there.

I was hoping for Top and Boeing to have like, A Conversation. Clearly Top feels safe enough to rely on Boeing to help him sleep, that would require a certain level of trust right? Or does Top have a rotating list of ex's he asks for help with this? Or not? We don't know he never discusses it! What was Top and Boeing's relationship like post-breakup? Boeing seems bitter, and yet he's also helping Top out with something super personal at the same time?

Does Top have any friends? People he can open up to about, ya know, himself?

I know that people (shippers) probably would've disliked it but I think there coulda been something if Top and Boston actually became friends post-fucked-up-hook-up.

Their consent was violated after all, what if they got to, ya know, actually talk about that? What if at the party Boston and Top didn't talk about just Mew and after Boston's bitchy comments they had a real conversation? We learned something about Top and how he's feeling outside of sad-mew-dumped-him. What if he told Boston about how he can't sleep, so he's been drawing more, and Boston sees Top as like, A Person, rather than a conquest (lord knows Boston needs new friends who won't call him a whore and say he should've never been born).

Or hell Nick?? Maybe Nick could've reached out to Top and been like "sorry I recorded you having sex without your consent bro" and Top could again, talk about what happened to him and how it effected him outside of Mew?? Nick is good at making friends, he's a good listener, he's genuinely sorry about what he did so why not? Nick could've talked to Top at the party, and it would have opened up a chance to get Top's pov on what happened. Top could've made a friend!!!

But nope! Top's only motivations is just to exist for Mew and it's so frustrating. There's a lot of opportunity to explore and expand on his character and the show hasn't given it. Top went from being fun, messy, interesting, to being dull and boring and it's so sad.

Like at this point I'ma stan b/c he deserves better as a character rip

[morrch]

okay, I want to draw a ofmd based tarot deck 😳

for now, i’m only thinking about major arcana with the main plot line. the fool’s journey where stede is the fool (respectfully)

but it would be so fun to draw all 72 cards!! with all the subplots and characters

i’ve done some rough sketches for the start, i’ll continue after season two is out. idk yet if I should wait even for season three with this project (if it’ll happen lol) maybe i’ll just redraw some cards later… who knows! I think I need to draw my ideas while they’re fresh anyway lol

so about what’s going on with the cards now

THE FOOL start of stede’s journey where he’s still hopeful and a bit naive. sign of the new beginnings

THE EMPRESS represents femininity, motherhood and creation. I think mary with her art is perfect for this card

THE EMPEROR father figure, authority and structure

THE LOVERS scene from the picnic where luscious first noticed the spark. I also like how the original card has a snake as a sign of temptation and in this scene, they also eat a snake (I wasn't planning on it when started to draw I think it’s destiny)

THE HERMIT so here is the s2 izzy where I assume he’ll get so of redemption arc and will face himself on top of everything else. also, he is almost always surrounded but the candles and has a clear attraction to the flames, I wonder how it’ll affect the symbolism. anyway this card is still a speculation, this is only my gut feeling

DEATH originally this card is not necessarily dark, it is mostly about the ending of a cycle. but in this case, I thought that this particular scene defined ed’s relationship with death and the act of killing. also, it’s kinda about ending a cycle of abuse (not sure about this one)

THE DEVIL I think it’s mostly about how ed sees himself and I wanted to draw the figurines lol (idk i’m too heartbroken about my emo baby girl I can't explain my feelings aaaaaa)

THE TOWER this is where it all started for me haha. this is the card that represents the destruction of beliefs and foundations and I think the lighthouse painting is PERFECT for it. how it all shattered and stuff (screaming)

THE MOON love this one is about anxiety and betrayal and not important about seeing the danger in the wrong things. and I like that on the original card there is a wolf and a domesticated dog and they are such a good parallel to ed and steed 😖 and izzy is the crayfish sorry not sorry (more like cryfish amIright??)

[buckets-and-trees]

You can choose the one you want to talk about the most if you don’t want to do all three!! They sounded so interesting to me that i couldn’t pick just one😂🌸

Chosen, radio Bucky, and/or lake house men please🥹

Okay, @startcarvingdarling got the first ask in, and actualy asked about the Lake House men, so we can cross that one off the list...

And for this ask, I'll start with CHOSEN

First, I'm just kind of excited (and scared?) that this story is so long that it's going to be posted up in installments. Maybe that's such a boring thing to comment on first, but ... I have never, not once in my previous long fandom life in my 20s and not in the last two years of this fandom life, written out most of a chaptered story before I started posting. I was always too eager to start sharing chapters! But this story I actually started out with the intention of it being a longer one-shot of maybe 8-10k.

But then it just kept going as I played with the day for what happened to the Reader, her interactions with various characters, the questions she had, the information she learns... And so as it kept growing, I just decided not to say no to things the muse slipped into it. So it's like a slow burn plot, really, more than anything else. There are scenes with Tony, Yelena, and Thor that I had no idea would be there but then felt like they were intended to be.

There's a scene where one character gaslights the reader, and as I was writing it, I was feeling the twisted manipulation on behalf of the reader, but AT THE SAME TIME, I WAS LIKE DAMN! YES! TWIST EVERYTHING AROUND AND THROW IT AT HER WHEN SHE'S VULNERABLE!!! 😏

I'm excited about some of the complexity I'm infusing into the core relationships. I'm excited about the mysterious aspects of what's going on at The Winged Heritage Foundation. I'm excited to see what others will think as the story unfolds...

Now, Radio Bucky...

This is a story I actually started writing in earnest last January? But then I got derailed with it as I was trying to finish some other things that I had specific challenge deadlines for. @biteofcherry gave me the seed for the plot, actually, and it's going to be a very warm, wonderful kind of Bucky story. Bucky has adopted a radio personality with a pseudonym, and it's a late night show. The reader encounters him in the wild and recognizes him by his voice. They get to be in lurve and explore that beginning-of-things energy. 🥰

No mafia men, no saving the world, no dystopias, no omegaverse, no monsters or demons... Just them. I'm hoping to give them a lot of flirty and flustered energy that each of them get to dish out to each other.

THANK YOU, RAY!!!

wip ask game

[cloudmancy]

clone wars era obi-wan voice: well killing yourself never solved anything, now did it anakin

also what do you think of au’s where someone else ended up being the one to take on anakin as a padawan? and i guess star wars canon divergence au’s in general

clone wars era anakin later finding out about the rako hardeen mission: 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍

I like canon divergence aus! ppl tend to like aus where qui-gon lives and becomes anakin's master as he originally planned but can I say something? that guy would've definitely fucked him up worse than obi wan 😭😭😭😭😭 I think anakin being given to a different master is interesting but realistically I can only see it working out with like... mace windu... obiwan is so lightsider I really do think mace windu could've connected with and understood anakin on a more visceral level and got him some coping strategies. anakin getting taught vaapad is so near and dear to me.

aus in general I love when people take a canon/extended universe book or event and tweak it juuuust slightly to detangle the collision course of everything that happens later... I love interesting 'what-if' plots I love minor canon events being changed just slightly in a butterfly's wingbeat sort of way I love time travel aus. star wars prequels is one of those tragedies where it's completely preventable from the outside but utterly unavoidable from the inside and that makes it really delicious to me. and because of that I will say I cannot understand when star wars fix-its have anidala happily stay together like sorry they're actively so terrible for each other 😭😭😭 get padme a divorce and custody of the kids OR talk about how absolutely miserable they'd be without The Horrors Of War! romeo and juliet was not a romance it was a tragedy... and I think that's true here as well.

this is a tangent but I'm like... genuinely really fascinated by every author's interpretations of anidala in most of the star wars books I've read. because it's some variation of 'I CAN fix him' or 'well I don't think I can fix him but I'm too invested to stop' or 'wow. he's got nobody but me :( nobody understands him but ME.' and it's all so incredibly funny to think about long term NEITHER of them have the foundations for a stable long term relationship with each other at all. padme is at her most fascinating to me when she's treating anakin sort of like a guy who finds a beautiful baby deer covered in the blood of 50 different people on the ground and takes it home and does not call a wildlife rehab center or leave it alone and then it grows up and starts killing people. but not her. so shes like ohhh this is rather worrying but he'd never hurt me and I like that (he does. lol!) it's genuinely very fascinating to me because both padme and obi wan are anakin's biggest apologists but to obi wan that's like... a puppydog he raised. he is not threatened by it and that thing is not going to bite him. for padme it's also a puppydog she raised but that puppydog was actually a wolf cub and she knows that but she's too enamoured with it to give it up and also it's too fucked up to go back into the wild now.

[gayleviticus]

8 years after watching the TV ending of FMA 03 for the first time, I finally watched Conqueror of Shamballa for the first time. Tbh I was a little scared of what I’d find – fma 03 was a super special series to me back in 2015, but rewatching it the TV ending felt way more inconclusive and unsatisfying than I remembered.

I knew what would happen in Shamballa from years of scrounging through tv tropes entries and Wikipedia plot summaries, but I didn’t know what it would feel like in practice. I needed something that fulfilled the melancholy, dark, emotional, but hopeful promise of the series. I needed angst and loss and sadness, but not grim-darkness and cruelty just for the sake of it.

Thankfully, I enjoyed Shamballa on the whole. Now, to be sure, it’s undeniably very, very messy. Unlike, say, End of Evangelion or Madoka Rebellion it doesn’t feel like a movie except perhaps towards the end; the new characters introduced like Alfons, Noa, and Eckhart are more interesting thematically than because they’re afforded any particular depth, and the plot mechanics aren’t especially well-crafted (but granted this has always been the case for 03).

It feels like there’s also a ton of incredibly character dynamics they could milk but just don’t have room for – how did it feel for Ed to live with someone who looked so much like his baby brother but just wasn’t the same person? How did Winry feel being left behind forever by her best friends after being locked out of the loop for so long? How did Al losing his memories of the past 5 years and embarking on a quest to bring Ed back shape his relationship with everyone else in Amestris? Did Ed feel guilty that Al ended up throwing his whole life in Amestris away to come be with him on earth? There’s just so many possibilities this movie throws out that could have been explored, and emotional beats (like the brothers reuniting!!) that aren’t used to their full potential.

These are all pretty noticeable flaws. But I also kindve think… it doesn’t matter that much? Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to see an actual proper 13-episode second season fleshing out Shamballa’s boatload of cool ideas, but I think there’s something just as captivating about the huge range of possibilities the movie can’t possibly hope to contain. There are plenty of stories I’ve experienced that do an objectively better job of fleshing out their characters, but it's like… well, you’ve already exhausted their depths. There’s not much left to mine. 03 + Shamballa might not use its characters to their maximum potential, but I think it’s impressive it creates such a firm foundation for its characters that they have that kindve potential in the first place?

(On that note this just makes me curse the fact the 03verse in general has been so neglected by FMA fans even more, bc it just feels like its begging so much for fans to plug these gaps and analyse and dissect and headcanon these characters? But anyway)

Something I was a little torn about at first was the ending – it was more satisfying than TV 03’s awkward mix of open-ended sadness with sickeningly saccharine optimism, but I couldn’t help but feel this awkward sense of hollowness. It was tragedy on the brink of cartharsis, but not quite there. I wanted to cry and mourn everything the Elrics had lost, I wanted angst and conflict between the two of them, I wanted to experience the weight of everything they’ve gone through.

But after thinking about it, I realised that the thing about Shamballa is that it’s not about pain, as such, but specifically ache, and loss.

Doomsday, a Doctor Who episode that aired about a year after Shamballa, is a similar tragedy of people separated forever across parallel world. But it’s a very different type of pain – it’s sharp, acute, sudden. It’s having someone you loved so much so deeply snatched out of your life with no warning, no buildup, barely any chance to say goodbye.

Superficially, Shamballa is similar. In the chaos of Eckhart’s invasion Ed and Al disappear forever into the other side of the gate. But I think it’s very different in that the Elrics aren’t really leaving a specific person behind?

Of course, there’s Winry, and obviously it must hurt for her to lose her best friends since childhood so suddenly. But even then, her life goes on. She loved them so much, and she’ll always remember them – but she’s not a widow sitting at home mourning the death of her husband in the war. She has friends, she has family, she has her career as an automail engineer. Life goes on for Winry. It hurts, but it’ll go on.

Aside from her – well, Izumi’s gone. Rose was friends with Al but didn’t really know Ed. Mustang’s crew clearly care for the boys, but I think for the most part their relationship in 03 is relatively professional. In the end what the boys are cutting off isn’t any individual person in particular, but their past.

And so what Shamballa is about isn’t the sharp, shocking pain of losing a loved one, but the dull, heavy ache of grieving your past. As Ed says at the end, Earth is their world now – not Amestris. They’ve resigned themselves to losing their past, to leaving behind the childhood world of miraculous alchemy and friends and carving a path in the here and now.

It’s the pain of mourning a past that can’t come back, the people you once loved who just aren’t in your life anymore, the innocent childhood you’ll never be able to reclaim. The brothers who once tried to reclaim their stolen innocence through resurrecting their mother have made their peace with living in the here and now – and though they’ve finally found happiness, and paid the price for their original sin, they’ll never forget everything it took to get to this point.

It circles back to what Ed told Rose all the way back at the beginning. Stand up and walk on your own two legs. Keep moving forward. Fight against tragedy, but remember that you cannot rewrite your own past.

The Thule Society and Noa mistook Amestris for Shamballa – a perfect world, a homeland – in their longing for heaven. But no such promised land exists. There’s only the here and now. The Elrics give up their longing for something they never had, accepting heaven is lost, and find their home in themselves.

[lloydfrontera]

obsessed with this (and many others) story being so dead-set on two main guys and their just absurdly close relationship and then having the balls so say NO HOMO and being so scared of having an open end so it just had to follow the heteronormativity norms. im so sick and tired of it. it just cheapens the whole things. it cheapens whatever respect there was for female characters involved, which was already not a lot because well. lets be honest yeah. i just wish these stories were self-aware enough to leave the characters alone. no relationship is better than what usually happens in these stories :( that's why im so hesitant to read the novel because im not always able to ignore such stupid literary device. im ranting to your inbox because i think you'll get it and my god i was so bitter when i was spoiled about the story's ending and the violent need to have everyone married it's hhghgghhhnng

i get it yeah. i've been deep in fandom spaces for about ten years now, this is not my first rodeo, won't be my last and i'm already used to it. doesn't mean i'm not tired of it too tho kjasdasd

and yeah i agree, at this point i'm not even really asking for a ship to be canon, i truly do believe sometimes the better option is to just have an open ending and leaving things to the imagination, but the amount of times authors feel the need to shove a last minute het romance just so they can beat the queer allegations,,, is too many to count

i think what gets me with tged is that,,, you can really take away the canon romance and nothing changes. it adds nothing to the plot, it really was something bk moon added in the last chapters purely to make it canon at the end. you could erase those bits and the general plot and characterization remains the same. it is... bad writing to be honest. like. from a purely technical standpoint that's a bad relationship, that's not how you add a romance to your plot!

but! on the other hand! the fact that it can be erased that easily does make it very easy to ignore it and focus on the good parts of the plot which are truly worth everything else aksdhskaj

it's like,, the gay equivalent of that thing marvel does where it includes their 'diversity' moments in such a way that you can cut them off and the film is still perfectly watchable. here you can cut the straight bits and you still get an awesome novel with great characters and deeply moving relationships lmao

it cheapens whatever respect there was for female characters involved, which was already not a lot because well. lets be honest yeah.

and this. yeah. Yeah. i did my fair bit of ranting when the webcomic decided to make silurian javier's love interest, retroactively fridging her for his manpain and also straight up ignoring and erasing her arc in the novel about her not needing to marry to be made heir for the city. like. they just didn't mention it. at all. what the fuck.

and then there's alicia who. the more i think about her and the way her relationship with lloyd is handled the more upset i get. she was such a cool character, with her own thing going on, her own motivations, her own worries, her own deal. and then she becomes lloyd's love interest because. well, she's literally the only important enough female character who isn't related to lloyd or already married who can do it. like. that's it.

silurian gets an entire arc about why she doesn't need to marry lloyd, sherazade marries lloyd's brother, marbella is his mom, moira basically disappears after her introduction... and that's... it, i think?? who else?? emily? the mermaid queen? i for the longest time thought raphael was a girl and was sorely disappointed to find out he was not so. yeah.

then there's the "magentano carry" title effect thing going on and,,, that's a whole mess on its own. i hate it. there's literally an otherwordly power making alicia trust lloyd. let me rephrase that. they had to force the canon love interest into giving her full trust to the main character. the very foundation of their relationship is built on her being literally unable to mistrust him because there's an external force forcing down her suspicions and doubts about him.

and we have canon confirmation that if lloyd pushes hard enough when she's already paranoid because of other factors, that effect can break and all her mistrust and wariness about the potential danger he is to the crown come back with full force and she'll declare him a traitor and go to war against him. like. that's the state of their trust and relationship when the novel is 89% done. i'm not even slightly exaggerating i literally did the math.

it's. it's just bad. it's so bad. i'm. i don't know what else to say. she didn't deserve that. lloyd didn't deserve that. we certainly didn't deserve that either.

so like. after all of this it'll sound really hypocrite of me to tell you to read the novel but. i do think it's still worth it. everything i'm talking about is. such a small part of the entire novel. which is kind of the problem but also the very reason i still think it's worth reading it.

everything else makes up for it i promise akjshdjka

[showyoumyfavoriteobsession]

long-ass tl post below. i'm not trying to start shit i'm just venting bc i've been thinking about this episode for like 12 hours today lol

man. anyway. there were definitely good moments in the finale but I was just so disappointed by the execution of almost all of the storylines' conclusions.

I want to start off that I'm not particularly broken up by any of the ships we thought would happen not happening in and of themselves, but the way we got jerked around this season for all of these storylines to have no real resolution is really frustrating.

The Roy/Keeley/Jamie triangle is a big one for me. We spent all of this season developing all of their characters individually, focused on Roy and Jamie becoming friends (which was great and one of the strongest parts of the season!), and then we wrap it up with... a literal fistfight and shitty, sexist pronouncements of ownership? Taking the foundations of their relationships, the things they've been working on for three seasons - trust, communication, accountability - and just throwing it out the window? And for what?

The Beard/Jane thing makes me absolutely furious. This is the plot thread that makes this finale feel the most rushed and shoehorned, as if they were planning to go somewhere else and just didn't have time. What was the fucking point of Beard After Hours if they were heading towards this shit the whole time

(I do think that montage at the end was supposed to be a dream, but Beard leaving the plane for Jane wasn't!! And if Ted was imagining Beard and Jane being happy together forever that's still pretty fucked up!!)

What was the fucking point of the Zava storyline. What was the fucking point of the Jack storyline. What was the fucking point of the Shandy storyline. What was the fucking point of the Tish storyline. What was the fucking point of Trent's book

(i edited that above bullet like three times while writing the rest of this post because i kept remembering other storylines that went nowhere lol)

Ted himself was giving absolutely nothing during this episode. I thought he was being quiet and reserved because he was bottling up to have a breakdown of some kind towards the end, but he just seemed... empty. Even his final speech to the team felt distant. I couldn't tell if he was conflicted about leaving, happy about leaving... I get the future was supposed to be ambiguous, but I couldn't even tell if he would ever want to go back to Richmond for a visit.

It's been pointed out before (and I agree) that the actor playing Henry is... not the best. He's very flat in a lot of the emotional scenes that he's in, and it made it harder to believe that he really missed Ted that much, especially in 3x08, which was probably supposed to be an important link in that storyline. But I can't blame him for everything - there hasn't been a lot in the script for him, so Dottie's "your son misses you" last week felt kind of unearned. And Ted's reaction to it last week felt real! But then there's barely anything in this episode that makes it feel like he's actually excited to see his son again. (When Henry was coming to visit in season 1, he was tracking the plane! He was chatting about it to Beard and Nate and Rebecca! In this episode we got one text of a gif.) If Ted's story was actually about the sacrifices of being a parent, why don't we get one (1) scene expressing that?

Nate. I really really really wanted to like Nate's storyline this season and the conclusion still kind of pissed me off. It was really that all the important parts were offscreen in this episode - did he choose to be a (assistant) kit man again or was he demoted? How did the team welcome him back? What was Ted and his reunion like? The only good thing was Nick Mohammed's acting - his apology to Ted just instantly made me start crying - but it was like a 2-minute scene! We couldn't have cut that stupid K/J/R scene for more closure on Nate?? There's something to him being back in the same place but more secure in himself, but we didn't actually get to see him choose it in any real way.

I was a big Ted/Rebecca fan in the earlier seasons, but I truly would have fine with them being completely platonic, and by the middle of this season, I was thinking they probably would be. Unfortunately, by this episode they don't even feel like friends anymore. Again, Ted is just doing absolutely nothing during their scene in the stands, and barely anything more at the airport scene. Where's the trust? The openness? And again, all the hints, the misdirects, the biscuits with the boss, the army men... and for what? To barely look each other in the eye, to leave with no promise that they'll ever see each other again?

Again, I do think the montage towards the end was a dream, but Rebecca reuniting with the Dutch guy felt like another really sloppy ending. We didn't spend an entire episode with them specifically not learning each other's names for them to suddenly be soulmates

Overall, I felt like this season varied in quality pretty drastically from episode to episode. I do think part of it was that they wrote seasons 1 and 2 back-to-back before any of it was released, and then this season was written after the huge response to the first two seasons. The rest of this is pure speculation, but I've thought a couple times this season that it felt a little "tryhard", like they were suddenly self-conscious of the goofiness and earnestness of the show but still wanted to do it. And now it feels like all of that led to last-minute rewrites, plots getting shifted around due to audience reactions, and maybe some marvel-style spoiler avoidance (that thing where whenever something leaks/gets guessed, they just change the script to something else to 'preserve the surprise' even if it makes no sense). It's fine when this show is predictable! The first two seasons were still fun when they were predictable!! It seems a little bit like this season was left open-ended in case they decide to do another season or something, but they did the rest of the show such a disservice by doing this that I'm not that interested in anything else they want to say past this point. This whole season, all the plot threads that went nowhere, I still trusted that the writers had a plan to tie it all together in the end because they've done it before, and this is what we got.

There's a place for ambiguity, but when everything is left ambiguous it's just sloppy. If we weren't sure where Ted's mind was at OR Roy/Keeley/Jamie was still up in the air OR Nate's future was uncertain OR Rebecca had maybe found a healthy relationship... any of those would have been fine, but when you have all of them unresolved it feels like no one wanted to commit to actually ending the thing.

whew. anyway. it's just such a bummer when a show you've gotten invested in shoots itself in the foot like this. this post is already too long but i'm going to end with the moments i did like:

I actually liked (most of) the opening scene, it made me laugh maybe more than anything else. I had just convinced myself that no, they're never actually going to have a canonical throuple on this show, and then I really thought for a second that they just plunked Ted/Rebecca/Beard down in front of us with no warning lol

Colin! I'm happy he got his happy ending.

Frankly, my general disinterest in Trent and, to a lesser extent, Colin, really stemmed from the fandom valorization of them from the very first season. It felt like (and I think it was, at least for a while!) that very Tumblr thing of "paying vastly more attention to conventionally attractive white men in very minor roles than any women or people of color that have actual storylines". But they had really good storylines this season - some of the better ones - and I really enjoyed them as written! I just still find their fandoms kind of annoying.

The scenes with Jamie and Roy (before they go to Keeley's) were mostly really lovely. I think that's been the strongest subplot of this season, and it's been a real joy to watch.

(i just realized 'joy' could be a ship name for jamie/roy lmao)

In a general sense, I really like that a lot of the major characters did not end up in romantic relationships, because those aren't the most important journeys they went on. Obviously I have quibbles about the execution (and larger quibbles about the ones who did (see above)), but I love that as an overall message.

Roy going to therapy!! You absolutely love to see it!!!

i keep trying to think of other stuff and keep coming up with more stuff i'm irritated about and it's past midnight so i'm going to stop lol. definitely going to be sitting on this episode/show for a bit but. yeah

The return of the Believe sign. As I've said, I'm a sucker for some well-timed cheese, and that was a really sweet scene.

ETA: OH the diamond dogs scene was actually lovely!! It got so lost in the rest of this episode but it was the only part that attempted to address the actual themes of the show!

[sexybabystevie]

I agree with what you said about b/lers viewing the Duffers as their friends and allys and therefore watch the view in a different lense and make it out to be this carefully thought out masterpiece that it simply isn't. Like they forget Stranger Things was supposed to be only one season, b/ler wasn't a thing. Yeah, they queercoded Will but not with the intention to have him pine over his best friend. Plus, like you said, Will is more of a plot point than a real character, esp in s1. In s2, he also wasn't much of a character he was again a plot point, and we never saw his real personality on screen. In s3, he was almost nonexistent, and that's sad, but I genuinely don't think the Duffers know how to write him. So his stans have to rely on the crumbs they are given and then delude themselves into thinking this is all part of a big love story bc that's easier to admit than the show being not that great and Will being a flat character.

Similar with Steve, we also only get crumbs and make the best out of but we can see the Duffers as our enemy because we have no problem to admit that they are shitty writers when it comes to characters. Like we never delude ourselves into thinking he is the main character and the Duffers know what to do with him and the lack of information is this big twist we will get paid off in the last season. I don't think he will die, narratively, it doesn't make sense, especially with Dustin involved (who is arguable one of their faves) so I'm thinking we get a shitty end for him (aka St/ncy). Like I still have hope for Stobin best friend shenanigans in the big city after s5, but it's only slim. I don't trust the Duffers that much, and like you said, b/lers whorshipping them is setting them up for failure if their "clues" turn out to be false.

For b/ler to happen, m/leven had to break up for sure in s4. Like Mike's monolog is a pivotal point in s4. And even if b/lers say he was lying, well that makes it everything worse, because El thinks he loves her. M/leven breakup has to be handled with care in order for b/ler to start.

I hate when ppl say st/ncy = m/leven and j/ncy = b/ler, and they view this as something great. Objectively speaking, the st/ncy breakup was so messy and unfair to Steve that I don't get why people want El to go through the same thing. Because the foundation of j/ncy was cheating and not them being a cute sweet couple, star-crossed lovers style. Every time people joke about the Wheelers not saying I love you to their respective partners bc they fancy someone else I want to puke because it's not a cute parallel and the other person in that relationship is lied to which is horrible. Plus, it already makes b/ler about 3 completely different characters that have nothing to do with it. There should not even be the want to compare relationships because everyone is different. And I need people to realize j/ncy getting together was done in such a disastrous way you don't want that for your couple.

Sidenote people who get mad at Steve stans for giving him trust and abandonment issues after Nancy are not getting the severity of what emotionally cheating does to a person. Steve wasn't aware of problems, Nancy told him she loved him a day prior, and then it all came crashing down. Plus him not committing to anyone because he is scarred from that experience is valid and it's an explanation for his behavior in s4. It doesn't make Nancy a bad person, but her actions hurt him, and he should be allowed to feel that way, especially if she was his first love. If El went through that with Mike, I also think she would develop trust issues (on top of her already abandonment issues).

Anyway, I think b/lers are in this secluded bubble, and if things don't go exactly their way, it will break them, and I'm actually scared. Like even in s4, I had witnessed complete meltdowns over b/ler, and I need everyone to chill bc we talk about two 14 year old kids. Especially when older people (mid twenties and up) are overly involved in shipping children, I get this weird feeling. There's nothing against ppl going into fan spaces, but it's weird obsessing over the love life of two children in such an intense cult-like way.

response under the cut again! <3

yeah, i honestly don't even know where this entire narrative about stranger things being a secret love story started, because the primary theme has always been friendship and the power that people have when they come together platonically. it's bizarre to me too, because i've been in this fandom for years (not always on tumblr, some on instagram or whatever) and b/ler just kind of massively grew up out of nowhere. i'd seen maybe one or two people before talking about it during previous seasons, but there was just this huge uprising of the b/ler community after s4 (which sort of makes sense but is still a little odd to me that they came up out of nowhere? i also don't remember previous b/lers being this exhausting to deal with). anyway, yeah, it all pretty much comes down to the fact that they all believe that the duffers have been hinting at this for years (which, hindsight vision is 20/20 so that's not really a valid point tbh) and fully believe that they're getting this picture perfect endgame.

honestly, i think another thing people are neglecting to think about is all of the stuff that we have to wrap up in 8-9 episodes. there is SO much going on now in this show that plot holes are pretty much guaranteed, not even considering the possibility of b/ler becoming canon. i'm honestly not really sure what they think is going to happen - the show will just take an entire shift into being solely about mike and will JUST to resolve the possibility of b/ler happening? i'm not even trying to be bitchy and put these people down or something, it's just crazy that people think that the show will take this massive shift in direction or that they'll just add in a whole new plotline when we probably won't even have enough time to satisfyingly and properly wrap up everything else.

also, there are so many characters that i think the duffers just don't know how to write or what to do with now. jonathan, will, erica, probably dmitri and murray now that they've basically joined the giant cast. and the sad thing is that fans come up with plotlines and stuff all the time for their fics or just for silly posts online, but the duffers just seem not to know what to do with most of their characters ever. (cough cough st/ncy s4 revival for NO reason).

the setup for b/ler just ISN'T there, like you said. yes, there are a few cracks in the foundation of m/leven's relationship, honestly, but that's not enough to wrap everything up and end AND start a whole new relationship in 8-9 episodes. whether b/lers want to realize it or not, b/ler is NOT the main plotline. defeating the upside down and vecna is. those are just obvious facts, and therefore this is the priority when it comes to things that have to be addressed and finished by the ending. maybe, if we have two more seasons to go instead of one, or if this was a show with 22-26 episodes per season, i could see where s4 was the setup, but it just isn't. we don't have the time to focus on it.

mike's monologue may have been a lie, who knows, but again, like you said, this is just... bad??? like why would you want that. there are already parallels between the whole st/ancy = m/leven thing at this point, but that was so messy and it's still not resolved to this day, and that was from s1!! again, we don't have the time to reenact all of st/ncy's breakup with m/leven because it was a disaster. and also no one ever knows how to hold fair accountability over people, so i'm 100% certain that that happening would lead into people shitting on el even more than they do already and blaming her for everything.

also a small point that's been in the back of my mind lately that i want to point out, as a queer woman myself, is that this ship would not be so popular if it was two girls/women instead of two boys/men (speaking in terms of actor ages since they're adults now). it's a thing that happens where everyone LOVES mlm rep and shits on anything wlw because theres always some bullshit reason to hate seeing a wlw relationship portrayed in the media. i know this isn't a primary issue but it still upsets me so much because it's so obvious, just from the treatment of robin and her literal canonical love interest vickie!! there's some fucked up misogyny in all of this, and also in the way that everyone will throw el to the side, putting this idea onto her that she either doesn't like guys so she can't possibly like mike or that she just is basically "too traumatized to know what love is" and i'm so tired of it. i'm SO tired of it.

back to the st/ncy = m/leven thing, i REALLY appreciate you pointing this out, "Every time people joke about the Wheelers not saying I love you to their respective partners bc they fancy someone else I want to puke because it's not a cute parallel and the other person in that relationship is lied to which is horrible." because that's exactly how i feel. it's not cute or funny, it's immature and deceitful. and yes, they're all children/barely adults at this point, but still. it's not some parallel that you should be happy about. i've been in that situation, i've been the steve harrington of the st/ncy & j/ncy love triangle, it's not fun. it hurts, someone is quite literally saying they don't love you (or perhaps worse when they CAN'T say they love you because they don't) and it's traumatic and everyone yet again ignores that.

j/ncy's getting together WAS chaotic and messy and honestly i'm not even surprised that they're falling apart in canon right now because you can't start out like that and then expect a good, happy, fairytale ending. it just doesn't work that way. everyone's mad about them having issues and raged about them being "couples goals" and the "best ship of the show", whatever, but honestly it was quite literally just someone cheating and lying to try and escape a relationship she didn't want instead of having proper communication. and i get it, it's hard to do that, but the show and the fandom never hold nancy accountable and always blame steve for everything, so i'm honestly annoyed with it. seeing all this mess, how could you possibly want that for your ship?

LOVE your steve sidenote there, because you're so right. everyone ignores the fact that steve has trauma, both from nancy and the upside down (seriously, how can we agree that EVERYONE ELSE except him has UD related trauma but he doesn't?? i don't get it). and i get it to an extent because the duffers ignore it just as much, but still. for some reason steve fans adding onto his character with realistic things is just a horrible thing to do, despite the fact that will fans have to do this as well and it's fine when they do it. i don't know how any of the st/ncy fallout was 100% steve's fault, and i will defend it until the very day that i die, honestly. the show has a narrative, and then it was to equate being popular and being a jock to being a villain, so they tried to make the audience take nancy's side and sympathize with her. which, again, is fine, but don't go and attack other people for wanting to see from multiple perspectives here.

i quite literally saw a post the other day that was like "the people who go and add all this stuff to steve's character are so annoying because none of that would happen in the show." well sweetheart, it's not happening in the show because the duffers don't care and also don't know what the hell they're doing lol.

"Plus him not committing to anyone because he is scarred from that experience is valid and it's an explanation for his behavior in s4." THIS. why are we all just glossing over this??? the pining after nancy again for old time's sake, the serial dating that never develops anything intimate - some people for some reason think it's just "proof" that he truly wants/belongs with nancy, but no! it's literally him being afraid to commit to anyone again, and honestly i don't blame him. and like you said, it doesn't make nancy a bad person, but honestly i just wish canon would at least have them talk about it so he can have actual closure or something for once. that's the best ending for him i can think of - st/ncy closure and stobin platonic besties forever.

absolutely agree with getting the weird feeling about shipping two children. it gives me an odd feeling too, honestly. which, i'm not taking it too seriously, it's just a little weird. other than that, they definitely are in their own little bubble of delusion and when that bubble inevitably pops, i'm not even sure what to expect, because it is a little scary. they attack anyone who disagrees and are genuinely so rude for no real reason, so who knows what they're gonna do when they realize that they don't get this happy ending that they've manufactured? honestly this is just another solid reason that i'm glad it'll take a while for s5 to come out.

[genuflectx]

A Marvellous Light ("Terato" Book Review)

You can thank my fiancé for me reading this one, because this really isn't my usual cup of tea when it comes to literature! It's not "terato," not even exactly "exophilia" either, however I think its general themes might appeal to some people of those communities- even I was a bit shocked and impressed by it.

The first half has vague spoilers, such as descriptions of sex and if there was a happy end or not. Under the cut you’ll find a longer review with detailed spoilers.

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske has a simple plot at its core. Robert "Robin" Blyth is a typical well-to-do Edwardian jock who, due to a clerical error, is introduced to the secret world of magic. He meets Edwin Courcey, an icy and bookish magician with subdued powers- something Edwin's family looks down on him and teases him for. When Robin is attacked and cursed because of his accidental introduction to the magical world, Edwin feels responsible for him and does everything he can to find out how to remove that curse, with plans to remove Robin's memories after. Along the way a terrible magic conspiracy is revealed that the two become slowly more involved in. While also becoming quite "involved" with each other.

Pros and cons time! But.. I don't particularly have a lot of cons.

PROS ★ ★ ★ 

If I wanted to describe it in fanfiction tropes or tags, I would say: slow burn, magic kink, jock/nerd. Fun combinations.

Marske is really well spoken with her prose, and pacing seems to be a strong suit. Despite being her first published book, she really has mastered the craft of storytelling!

Highly romantic. Sexual content itself is built upon a strong foundation of slow built romance.

Multiple gay sex scenes, with some veeery interesting usage of magic as a kink. Something I've never seen before (but I've never been in any fandoms with magic, so maybe it's common in those?).

Because Robin is non-magical and Edwin is, it can sorta feel like that human/non-human gay relationship you might be craving. However, since they are both still technically humans, it doesn't really count as terato or exophilia explicitly.

A very rich magical world intertwined with the Edwardian period. It feels really unique, and the magic itself has rules and limitations, meaning magic isn't the end-all-be-all when it comes to power. Which... plays right into the underlying plot.

Themes of the rich (and rich men) being idiots and ignoring the importance of domestic magic and the magic of women. Marske is writing a period piece- and I appreciate her desire for accuracy while also clearly trying to find ways around it.

Ends on a happy note with potential for the next book and the main characters do not die.

CONS ★ ★ ★ 

The biggest turn off for some readers might be the prose. Yes, it's well written and well paced for what it wants to accomplish, but it is an Edwardian period piece that can still be pretty wordy. I don't think it's overly flowery, but someone else might find it harder to read if they don't really want to know what happens next.

While probably realistic for a bunch of rich white English gentlemen of that period, a large part of the book tends to feel like they're just piddling about reading books, chatting, and eating breakfast. That might be boring for some readers.

Somehow, the main villain should have both been obvious and was too obvious at the same time. I don't know if that is genius or lame. I guess it depends on what perspective you take.

This is a very "relationship" based plot; character relationships take the forefront over plot or action, as you'd expect with slowburn. If you go into it more interested in the romance and sex you might have a better time than if you go into it wanting to devour something plot heavy- it truly is just not plot heavy, unless you consider their romance the actual main plot.

★  ★ ★  WOULD I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK TO TERATO FANS?

Yeah! If you like magic stories! If you don't care for magic- or don't care for Edwardian period pieces- then maybe not for you. But if you do, then this is a darn good read. Marske is extremely competent in her craft, the romance builds slowly and the sex scenes feel both loving and exotically satisfying.

Just because magic stories aren't exactly my thing I might personally not read book 2, but I absolutely know my fiancé will because they adore this book and could not put it down. In their words, they believe it is one of the most romantic books they've ever read.

★  ★  ★  FINAL RATINGS:

Monsterousness: 0/10 Eroticism: 10/10 Story: 7/10 Characters: 10/10

MY FINAL SCORE: 9/10 (Not my favorite genre, but really good!!)

Heavier spoiler time!

I initially wasn't sure how I felt about the characters, I think ultimately the beginning is the story's weakest part. I feel that these are characters you grow to love more over the story's length, and when you are first learning who they are and getting that early exposition on magic it's sorta "eh" compared to the meat of the book... i.e. the rest of their relationship. Because yes, it's really their relationship that carries it. And that's not a bad thing! I actually prefer character-driven stories. But I think that's just something to keep in mind about this book (and probably the series), that relationships heavily take the forefront and the underlying plot is second to that. In this book, Edwin's past relationships and icy personality melting for Robin are more important than actually doing footwork to discover what happened to Reggie, the missing person, for example.

About 40% through the book however, I did have the realization that nothing was really happening or moving forward. It was a lot of playing little games, chatting over breakfast, and reading books. Sure, all this leisure is likely pretty realistic for their social status, but it does not necessarily make it an engaging read. Luckily, I think watching Robin and Edwin slowly fall for reach other to have encouraged me enough to keep reading to see them get even closer, but I do think that this might be a detriment to others.

It's not completely explicit, but rather something the reader needs to make a conscious effort to notice, that women and domesticity play a large part of this book's universe. By that I mean no one is going to beat you over the head to say "PAY ATTENTION TO THE SERVENTS AND LADIES" but they do play very important roles, in spite of accurate world views from the men that the women are too dumb to be taught. It is a domestic spell which allows Edwin to remove the curse from Robin's arm. It is a group of women- ignored by their misogynistic male magician counterparts- who discover the Last Contract and realize its potential for misuse. It is a pair of intelligent sisters who aid Robin and Edwin when the two are lacking friends. If you are a shallow reader you might take characters' opinions (including main characters) on women at face value, but their opinions compared to the actual actions and personalities of the women and servants is meant to show how wrong these spoiled Edwardian men are.

I really don't have much else to say! I thought the slowburn romance was great and using magic as a kink unique, especially the kind of magic they used. Overall it was a good book.

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in November 🌚 2022 - Pisces

Whole of their energy towards Pisces: Page of Pentacles

An apology is going a long way in this connection, this is someone that has been waiting to leave this situation or connection for some time. Plotting & planning their escape. They’re none too happy with you, or that’s switched and they know you’re pissed at them. I’m not sure what level of relationship this is, just that it has disconnected for the betterment of everyone.

Feelings: 4 Cups

This person never made a decision regarding you, they just waited around to give that to someone else. They could simply have been waiting for money, gifts, or someone’s generosity to come in so they could separate from you. There could have been a lack of communication and a lot of misunderstandings between you, both just kinda assumed what you felt made sense, whether right or wrong.

Intentions: 7 Wands

The intent here is very intense. They want to fight and defend themselves and their position. There is massive stress, anxiety, heartbreak, deep sadness, cruel words and mean, petty, “superior” behavior, just in this row, and whoever had that done to them is extremely pissed off about it because it’s uncalled for. You have “kind” in your messages, this is regarding an apology, it’s most likely this person. Still in their intent, they’re defending their bs more than really apologizing. It could be this “apology” that really shows you their character, and the disaster you avoid is a reconciliation. You know they’re full of shit.

Actions: Death

Death is Death, at least here. Either they’re happy about the silence or they know you are. This person has an air of self satisfaction, even when they’re acting stupid or wrong, they’ll just spin it in a way that they can justify it all, to themselves, it’s an immature energy. Their messages say they’ll surprise you, so even with Death here, apparently it’s not totally over yet. With both Death & Judgement out here, it’s possible this person has already been gone and is plotting a comeback, in which case letting go of the old is a wish of theirs…whether that actually happens though 🤷‍♀️ Your call.

Messages:

Their side:

- I will surprise you.

- Younger man/woman

Your side:

- Kind! 😊

- I wish I knew then what I know now.

Possible signs:

Scorpio, Aries & Cancer

If you’re dealing with:

The Emperor & 9 Swords could be a situation involving a father, boss, or some kind of authority that has you intensely stressed out & upset to the point you can’t sleep or get your mind out of this distressed repeating loop. It’s possible this could point out mental illness, if that’s something you know applies. This could also be showing you having to BE the authority and create rules and boundaries with people that cause you to be in this panicked and upset mental & emotional state. Setting boundaries, holding people accountable, no more bs.

Aries - loves you deeply and is waiting for you or something to happen between you

Taurus - a happy & stable relationship that’s very busy, could have a lot to do in the home or are weighing thoughts of buying a home

Gemini - should I stay or should I go? 🎶

Cancer - taking a logical and detached approach to a conflict with you, they’re trying to be fair

Leo - getting some good news they deserve

Virgo - making impulsive business decisions, or they’re very excited about something financially rewarding

Libra - feels passionate about you but isn’t doing anything about it

Scorpio - loves you and is apologizing, could be this person, could simply be sending messages

Sagittarius - very excited to work together with you on something, or telling you about something great that they’re working on

Capricorn - created a difficult situation with a lack of stability and foundation, could be the reason for a split or separation in any kind of connection, may be trying to conjure solutions out of their bum after having done this

Aquarius - mean, unhappy, and disinterested with everything, pass

Pisces - could be stuck in a rut where they feel they’ve lost their passion & motivation, possibly their drive for intimacy altogether

[uterialmotive-blog]

Book review: Three's A Crowd

TITLE: Three's A Crowd

AUTHOR: Christy McKellen

SUMMARY:

Right guy, wrong time... Daisy’s perfectly content with her life. She’s got a job she likes, a nice enough flat, and in a relationship with childhood best friend Adam. She’s got used to the lack of fireworks – after all, you can’t put a price on friendship being the foundation of everything. But they say you never forget your first, and Daisy has never forgotten how she felt that one summer with Zach - one electrifying, yet slightly embarrassing fumble in the dark. The catch? Zach was also her and Adam's best friend growing up. Now he’s back, after making his fame in Hollywood, and he has the same to-die for smile and cheeky glint in his eye… but Daisy has made her choice and it’s Adam – right? Can Daisy follow her heart without anybody else’s hearts getting broken in the process?

REVIEW:

I really wanted to love this book but unfortunately I only seemed to come away with one main thought from this book - Adam deserved better. Admittedly, I could see the attraction to Zach but, by the time the main plot of this book was underway, they hadn't seen eachother for years and Daisy had been with Adam for several years too. When they did all meet again, Zach was actually lind of a dick for most of it. Poor Adam, basically. I'm not really sure how I felt about Daisy either. She liked Zach as a teen, kissed Adam, slept with Zach and then agreed to a date with Adam, ending up dating him for years, even though she often thought about Zach. She supposedly loved Zach the entire time but continued in her relationshop with Adam. It was difficult to tell how far apart things were supposed to be but I couldn't understand why she was choosing Zach over Adam when Zach was acting like a dick and it was obvious to literally ANYONE that Adam was acting the way he was because he had realised that there was something happening between Zach and Daisy. Poor Adam deserved better. Anyway, at the end of it all, after the drama of Adam revealing that he knew, cheating on Daisy because he was trying to move on whilst knowing she was in love with their best friend and Zach and Daisy actually ending up together, it struck me as massively unrealistic that Adam forgave them both and they all remained friends. They put that guy through so much and then he just was like yeah, OK, you guys love eachother, that's OK. NO. Zach and Daisy are shitty people and even worse friends. Adam. Deserved. Better. Tropes: - Love triangle - Childhood sweethearts - Best friends to enemies to lovers

TWO STARS.

[highseas-swede]

Lots of great points here, but most especially bringing up just how unsatisfying it would be if it were true. Where would it leave room for the plot to go and for the character growth to happen? And character growth is something that Aziraphale - and to some extent Crowley, but that's a whole different matter - desperately needs. If he doesn't learn and grow because of his mistakes, then he'll never stop making them.

I want them to bet together and to be happy. They deserve to be. But they're not ready for it yet, especially not Aziraphale. There can't be any lasting happiness built on such a shaky foundation of false beliefs and lies.

It's obvious, in hindsight, how their relationship hurts them both, and it shouldn't have to. They can't spend an eternity like this. Something has to give.

Aziraphale is going to get disabused of his faith in Heaven. It's going to get ripped away from him and he's going to suffer for it. But despite everything else, he still has faith in Crowley, and it's obvious even in that last desperate look at each other before he gets into the elevator. As much as a lot of their relationship is propped up with omissions and half-truths - that were necessary for their own survival, don't get me wrong - there's a strong core underneath and it's based on their trust and love for each other. As hurtful as the finale was, I still feel that trust and love are still there, perhaps a bit worse for wear, but enough to keep them going until they finally get where they most need to be.

coffee theory and the disparaging of aziraphale’s character

ok y’all buckle up, we’re finally talking about why coffee theory not only disparages aziraphale’s character but would cheapen the story.

this is a meta i’ve been trying to write for ages now because i know i have Thoughts but trying to communicate them in a coherent and not passive aggressive way is… difficult to say the least.

i have a few main points i’m gonna touch on in this post:

1) why coffee theory disparages aziraphale’s character and removes him of his agency

2) why it would cheapen the story

3) how it underestimates neil’s talent as a writer

4) why the implications of it irk me

ok. let’s get into this.

firstly, a run down of coffee theory for anyone who’s managed to miss it. coffee theory basically states that the metatron drugged/manipulated the coffee he gave aziraphale such that the coffee was what led to aziraphale making the decision to go to heaven. (i.e. he wasn’t himself, he was under the influence and that’s why he did what he did)

why coffee theory disparages aziraphale’s character and removes him of his agency

look. i understand that aziraphale’s decision to go to heaven and take up the position of supreme archangel hurt. i understand that a lot of y’all were angry at him, and many of y’all still are angry with his decision. that is so totally valid and i’m not saying you’re wrong for being upset.

but what i do have to say is this: you can be angry at him while simultaneously acknowledging that his decision makes sense in the context of his character. those two truths can coexist without contradiction.

i think that a lot of people (myself included) have this unconscious tendency to view characters through our own warped perceptions of them rather than their actual character. like we all have our own headcanons about the characters and media we enjoy, but sometimes they get away from us and we start projecting complete headcanon onto real actual canon plot.

so let’s talk canon for a minute. the show has shown us time and time again that aziraphale fundamentally believes Heaven is good. he knows the angels are mean or bad sometimes but he thinks that capital H Heaven is good. that God’s plan is good. he believes that being an angel makes you good.

“i know the angel you were.” “you’re a demon you lied.” “you’re the bad guys.” “we’re hereditary enemies” “there is no our side”. aziraphale believes that being an angel and being on the side of Heaven is what makes you good. yes he knows crowley is good but aziraphale thinks it’s because of his past status as an angel. that it’s in spite of his demonic nature.

aziraphale believes that with the help of someone good (properly good, not pretend-y good) Heaven can be perfect and good and share that goodness with humanity. and he’s been given the opportunity to do that, alongside crowley no less!

aziraphale doesn’t fully understand how corrupt Heaven truly is. and nobody can get that across to him. not even crowley. miscommunication is an issue between them, yes. but it’s not the only issue. aziraphale fundamentally believes in Heaven, and crowley does not.

so of course aziraphale chose going to Heaven and being in charge because now he can truly enact change. his decision makes so. much. sense.

and coffee theory? coffee theory would strip aziraphale of all his depth and complexity as a character. it would say “yeah he has this long history of being hurt by this institution but his faith in it is so strong that he was willing to leave the one being he loved most in the universe behind if it meant fixing the institution and creating a safe future for him and his lover. but actually he just got drugged lol.” like. how utterly disappointing would that be? it strips him of his agency, it strips him of his complexity, it makes him boring. and boring is one of the worst things a character can be.

aziraphale is allowed to be a complex character. he’s allowed to make decisions you don’t like. in fact i think he should. that’s what happens in stories. especially in good ones. characters make decisions you don’t like all the time but what matters is if the decision makes sense. and aziraphale’s decision makes all the sense. no matter how upset it made you, it checks out.

why it would cheapen the story

look me in the eyes when i say this: most of y’all would probably hate coffee theory in practice because it is such a cop out plot twist.

coffee theory fundamentally disallows complexity to aziraphale’s decision to leave earth. it makes it a “oh no he was drugged!” situation instead of a “he has a lot of shit to work through and he’s hurting and the being he loves is hurting and the world is gonna end and he needs to work on himself before he can save the world properly.” situation.

coffee theory is bred out of the knee jerk instinct to say aziraphale was completely wrong and crowley was right and “i need to explain away aziraphale’s decision because he would never hurt crowley!!!”

y’all. i love aziraphale, do not get me wrong. but have we been watching the same show? aziraphale has hurt crowley, multiple times. he’s said many hurtful things. and it all comes back to the same reason: he believes Heaven and angels are good, and demons and Hell are bad.

it’s all connected. and i want to see the show acknowledge all of that. push it to the surface and let them confront it all. not brush away the hurt with some cheap “he was drugged!” plot twist. it’s boring and disappointing.

how it underestimates neil’s talent as a writer

neil is a good writer. i’m not gonna entertain arguments about this, if you like good omens you like neil’s writing. (and i highly suggest you read his other novels). and if there’s one thing i’ve found in my time reading neil’s books it’s that everything is intentional.

how much time does this fandom spend dissecting every single frame of the show because we know nothing is accidental? that is not a good omens specific thing, it’s in all of neil’s works (at least the ones i’ve read). neil is incredibly intentional in what he does, and in my experience he doesn’t rely on cheap plot twists.

he can plot twist the ever living daylights out of you but it will never be a cheap cop out like “he was drugged!” and acting like coffee theory is actually plausible is frankly an underestimation of what neil is capable of as a writer.

why the implications of it irk me

can we all just agree that the fandom likes crowley more? and that whenever aziraphale does anything slightly complex it’s often times either met with “oh nonono here’s this reason that doesn’t allow him any complexity” or “i hate him!!!! (also doesn’t allow complexity)”

you can adore crowley. i adore him too, i relate to him very deeply. but i love aziraphale too and i’m kind of tired of how frequent the aziraphale slander is.

and coffee theory, if i’m being honest, feels very much like y’all just can’t handle aziraphle being anything more than “silly little gay angel running the bookshop”. it feels like people just can’t handle the fact that he has his own motivations and feelings and that he truly thinks he’s doing the right thing.

and it’s to the point that you need to convince yourself he was DRUGGED so that you can accept his decisions?? y’all. did we watch the same show?

[coexiising]

orbitron - anakin skywalker

REQUEST ◆ this wasn’t even a request. just the reader and anakin losing their virginity to each other. small fic.

WARNING(S) ◆ smut, piv sex, cursing

WORDS ◆ 2.9k

NOTE ◆ ok so im officially back to writing. this is kinda a smaller fic and there really isn’t any plot its kinda just porn. 

you walked up the stairs of the temple, making your way to anakin. it had been a while since you had seen him, since the war took both of you away with separate responsibilities. when you finally got there, you knocked on the door, waiting for the hushed come in and walked into his room, seeing anakin lean down and search through his nightstand’s drawer. he pulled out some sort of small box with a relieved sigh. “i always lose this thing,” he said, opening the box and pulling out something from his pocket, inserting it into the box. it was normal for jedi to keep some sort of mementos from their battles, and anakin was no different. you had known him long enough to know how these battles got to him, even if he was named ‘the hero with no fear’, you were smart enough to know that wasn’t always true. anakin then walked over to you and put his hands into yours. “you ready?”

both of you were going to go out to the lower sectors of coruscant, where both of you wouldn’t be noticed as much, and get some food. you two still wore cloaks and disguises just in case, but it was a way for you two to get away from the temple. 

you nodded. “but hold on a sec. i wanna do this first.” you stood on your tippy toes and kissed him, grasping onto his hands and holding them close to you. he hummed contently, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

it was normal for the two of you to kiss. you guys kissed a whole lot in your relationship. but this was different. this kiss was more passionate in a way than the rest, more loving and needy. you thought that you were probably being crazy about the whole thing, that you were just making up the emotions you were feeling.

that was until anakin took his hands out of yours and put them on your waist, nudging you to walk closer to his bed. he was definitely feeling it too, it wasn’t just you. this time it felt like everything was in place. it was perfect.

your back pressed against the soft grey comforter of his bed, stomach filling with immense butterflies realizing what was finally happening. anakin was someone you trusted, someone you loved greatly. you wouldn’t have your first time with anyone else, and you knew that anakin felt the same way.

anakin kissed you with such an intensity you would’ve thought that he was being dramatic or something, but no, he just loved you so so much and wanted to show you. he wanted to touch you, kiss every inch of your skin, and most of all : anakin wanted you to feel how much he loved you. he was convinced that he would never be able to say it in words, there were only 26 letters in the galactic alphabet and as good as anakin seemed to have a way with words and charm, there was simply not enough letters and words in the entire world that would explain what he feels for you.

he’s tried - possibly a hundred times to try and explain it. you have done the same. the closest that he has ever gotten to pinpointing how intensely in love he was with you was by calling you home. you were his home. he would always come back to you, you were his roots. his foundation. you made him feel safe. each of you trusted each other more than any other person in this world and that is beautiful.

many people over the years tried to tell you that having an attachment wouldn’t work.

attachment leads to the dark side, master yoda would say. it’s what every single master said to you throughout your entire life. 

but to you anakin was worth the attachment. he was your friend turned lover, the leader of a whole battalion of clones. and although almost a year ago anakin almost lead you and the other jedi group towards what you all believed as a padawan to be impending doom on geonosis, you trusted him. you loved him. sure, all the jedi cared for each other, whether they wanted to admit it or not.  but it wasn’t the way you loved anakin. anakin was yours, and you were his.

his hands came to grip your sides, thumbs pressing against the soft fabric of your shirt. the contact caused a spark in your stomach, pulling the boy you loved even closer to you. your hands placed themselves on his shoulders, one of them snaking up so that it was caressing his cheek. soft skin under your fingertips made you shiver, feeling yourself get lost in the feeling of skin on skin contact. anakin sighed into your mouth, his tongue sliding lazily into your mouth and swiping across yours.

his hips rolled lazily against your own, not really intentional but more as a basic reflex. but the reaction that he got from you that made him realize that he should keep doing that. because the first time you felt his obvious hard on press against your core you were a blushing, almost moaning mess. you two had never been like this before. sure, there had been countless nights where you would make out for hours, kissing each others lips and necks. there was one time where you left his room with at least ten love marks peppered across your skin. this was different though, you two would see each other in each other’s entirety for the first time. and for what you hoped would just be the beginning.

your hands went down his neck and chest, fingers dancing idly along the bottom fabric of his shirt, lightly pulling as if to ask can i take this off? he pulled away from you, only for just a moment, and nodded his head, watching you with excitement as you pulled the first piece of fabric off of the night. his shirt was replaced with each of your hands, exploring with your fingers as if they were kissing his toned chest. his lips were attached to yours again, since you two couldn’t stay away from each other for more than about ten seconds.

surprisingly, anakin pulled away and looked down at your clothed chest, cheeks splaying a soft red tone. he didn’t have to say anything, you knew what he wanted. he wanted to see you, just like how you were seeing him now. giving him a bashful grin and taking your bottom lip in between your teeth, you nodded, grabbing his hands so that they were at the edge of your shirt.

you arched your back up so that it would be easily to slide the shirt off of you, and it was. anakin took no more time than necessary to pull it off, throwing it off the bed and into some unknown place in the room. a soft giggle left your lips and he smiled sheepishly, his hands returning to the same spot they had been on your sides before your shirt was off. instead he felt so much closer this time, his hands on your skin without any shirt over them. you reached behind you and unclasped your bra, sliding it off your shoulders and chest. there were a few times where he has slid his hands up your shirt before, but never off of you completely.

you always looked so beautiful.

just as beautiful as you looked here.

in fact, anakin thought that you would never not look beautiful to him.

“anakin,” you said in a soft tone, hands coming up to rest on both of his cheeks, forcing him to look at you into your eyes. “you can touch me, you know.”

right. anakin had been putting it off because he doesn’t want to do the wrong thing. what if he hurts you somehow? he didn’t know jack shit about touching a woman to make them feel good, at least not to his knowledge. but then again you were y/n. he knew deep down you didn’t care how he touched you, only that it was him touching you and only him.

you wanted no one else but anakin skywalker.

so anakin tentatively put his palm on your left breast, the contact nearly knocking your breath out of you. his head ducked down and pressed a soft kiss to the crook of your neck in between your jaw and neck. it was that one spot that drove you a little crazy, and he knew this because of your countless make out sessions.

his lips trailed down your neck, making a line with some spit all the way down to the valley of your breasts, where he hesitated for a moment. you weren’t impatient. if anything, you thought that it was cute that he was taking so much time and care with you. he made you feel so loved that it made your heart swell. your heartbeat picked up with every kiss that made its way across your skin. you swore that anakin, being so close to your chest, could probably hear how much your heart was banging against your ribs.

anakin started up again, instead of his lips going down they went across to your right breast, kissing all the way up to your sensitive bud and taking extra time kissing at it. the soft moans that fell from your lips made it harder and harder for anakin to concentrate. he could listen to those pretty noises you made forever. to know that he was the one that was making you feel so good and sigh in pleasure was the most addicting feeling in the whole world.

you were anakin skywalker’s drug.

you wined out his name, softly and sweetly. that sent a shock right down his body, making the need, the want, even that much more intense.

your hands came to his face to pull him away from his endless kisses and licks, looking into his beautiful blue eyes. “i want you,” you said desperately. “please anakin.”

you were basically begging for him at this point. if anakin was much of a talker as some others were, he would’ve said holy fuck at your words. he knew that he would have those five words engraved in his mind for the rest of his life, nothing could be more perfect than this.

you reached down and grabbed him in a soft way through his pants, making him groan out with no chances of even stopping it. it was so sudden and he was finally getting the attention that he so desperately needed. you palmed him through his pants, keeping your eyes on his face while you soaked him in unknown pleasure. it was different when it was your hand instead of his hand.

“i love you,” he muttered out, eyes opening half lidded towards you. and he did, he really really did. there was no one, no woman he would ever love more than you. if you would stay with him forever he knew that he would never ever have the desire to touch or kiss another woman ever again.

you smiled. “i love you too.”

he swatted your hands away and pressed his lips against yours again, shifting and moving until his pants were off and went to start working on yours. both hands of each of you worked to get your pants off. once they were, his hands began sliding and touching the skin right above your panty line, dancing closer and closer …

your fingertips were softly digging into the skin on his back, egging him on. you would think that what you were doing would bring him some type of pain, but it didn’t. instead it made him even more needy. he wouldn’t even care if you were digging into him so much you made him bleed.

anakin dipped his hands under the waistband, a needy moan eliciting from your mouth into his when his fingers swiped against your wet folds. he was touching you, the one place that you had only dreamed of him going. you always wondered what this moment would feel like, where you would be and how you would feel during it. these were better than the countless wonders and fantasies, much better.

a finger entered you and you moaned out with such intensity that anakin watched you in awe, writhing under his touch while one finger slipped in and out of you. there was no question that you desired him, his finger slick with your arousal was enough to tell him that you were really ready for this. another finger made it’s way inside with not that much resistance, making your head throw back against the sheets, eyes screwed shut.

anakin could do this for hours. watch you come undone by just his fingers. he was sure of it.

soon enough he was pulling his fingers out of you and taking an experimental lick at them, sighing in the taste. he’d definitely have to try going down on you sometime soon if you really tasted that good. you were scared to admit that you were a little nervous. he must’ve sensed it though. there was a part of you that believed that anakin knew you better than you knew yourself. he has picked up almost all of your routine, observed all your little habits and quirks for years on end. anakin knew the face you made for your emotions, and the face you were making now showed anxiety.

“hey, it’s just …” he paused for a moment to get his words together. “it’s just me. i’ll take care of you.” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his own forehead replacing his lips afterwards so that you two were close to each other. your breathing was scattered, led on by the anxiety. 

he aligned himself and then pushed into you slowly, the painful yelp that came out of you scared him for a moment before pushing farther in. slowly but surely, he was buried to the hilt inside of you. there was a moment where he stilled inside of you, rubbing your face softly with his fingers as you tried so hard to get used to the feeling. it was an odd feeling, like something filling you up and making you whole. though the longer anakin stayed unmoving in you, the more you felt the urge to tell him to move. pain mixed with pleasure in the most exotic way.

after another second or so, you said, “you can move now. i’m okay.”

he gave you one last are you sure look and then did as you wished, pulling all the way out of you and pushing back in again. it didn’t hurt as much this time, it felt good in a way, the way that he went inside of you with ease. and the way that he was moaning. you were the tightest thing and anakin felt himself get lost in that thought.

you could feel this unknown pressure building from deep inside of you, the same pressure that you were starting to feel with his fingers only a couple minutes before. anakin grabbed your hand, holding it against his while he thrusted in deeper than he had done before. that made a whole new feeling erupt in your stomach, making you moan against his neck where your head now rested in the crevice of his neck and shoulder.

anakin was also beginning to become more vocal, not even caring if it was embarrassing to be. 

this moment was so right with anakin that it almost made you want to cry out in happiness. he was the love of your life, you’re sure of that. there was no other person in this world that could make you feel the same way that he made you feel. and now that you two were finally joining together in what each of you considered to be the sacred act of making love, it only intensified your feelings. he was filling you up, making you feel whole. anakin was your other half, your soulmate in this world.

and that love he felt for you was beginning to make you get higher and higher towards your peak. breathless moans leaving your lips every second. there were some curses and his name as well, which really threw him towards the edge even closer than before. neither of you were going to last long, which was a given considering neither of you have ever done this before.

“i’m going to-” you sputtered out but were cut off by him saying, “me too.”

one last moans of each others names were enough to make both of you hit that high point, feeling that release that you two were desperately trying to reach. pleasure and euphoria coursed through your veins, your legs shaking as his thrusts ceased all together, each of your chests pressed against each others. you both breathed heavily, relishing in the last bits of your highs before the aches in each of your muscles appeared. your legs felt almost like jelly and anakin’s arms ached from holding himself up above you for so long. it was worth it though, neither of you would regret any of it.

anakin rolled off of you and pulled on his boxers, reaching over to give you his large shirt he had been wearing. he then laid back down and helped you into the shirt, his arms wrapping around you the second you were clothed and laying with you, fingers playing with your hair.

everything was perfect.