vizthedatum

[vizthedatum]

Now that I'm not blogging more publicly anymore... I love the journaling-just-for-myself thing, BUT I MISS BLOGGING.

I have been more focused on my poetry and figuring out what long-form posts I want to make on my Substack, but Tumblr was just nice for venting and being seen.

Sometimes, I think my desire to be seen plays into a colonialist, individualistic mindset, but it did help propel me to get closer to myself and thus closer to a community mindset.

I suppose it's all a balance.

I will resume blogging/posting more publicly once I feel safer. I didn't stop blogging because of anon messages or anything, but like... y'know (*shrugs*).

[vizthedatum]

a series of clichés that kind of make sense now

Living in this world is an endless cycle of accountability, awareness, and feeling things with your body - even when you did nothing wrong (even when you can't describe those feelings).

It's also about living in the present moment and knowing that those moments pass.

I'm trying to regulate my nervous system by letting go of those moments as they come so that I'm ready for the next.

And it's so hard.

I told my therapist that I feel like I'm just playing catch up from my past and retroactively from my future.

[vizthedatum]

Making posts private for frustrating reasons. Will be public when I feel safer.

[vizthedatum]

An apparently unpopular opinion: disabled people can have and do their hobbies. They deserve to have fun. They deserve to live their lives.

Their inability to do some things (like work, for example) does not mean they should be judged for… idk hanging out with their friends or to going outside. After all, having interests outside of work is often essential to our mental and physical health OUTSIDE of our disability.

And also *you might want to sit down for this* disabled people know what’s disabling for them (unless they people-please or push through due to necessity or survival of some sort). Disabilities don’t have to be visible or persistent to be disabling.

So yeah - my declaration: if an activity you want to do feels good and you’re able to do it, then do it. REGARDLESS OF YOUR DISABILITY WITH OTHER THINGS.