#will probably be updates bcs i feel like i forgot something
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Crash Course in Love ⢠3
pairing: snowboard instructor!Jungkook x ex-gf!reader (feat. platonic OT6) genre: rom-com, Exes 2 Lovers, slow-burn, angst rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: strong language, slow burn, angst, tension, bad communication skills, heartbreak, hangover, doubts, emotional rollercoaster, fight against nature, being stranded, crying, verbal fighting and screaming, explicit sexual content, bit of dry humping, fingering, scissoring, unprotected sex, breast play, hickeys, scratch marks, love bites, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 15.3k
a/n: i'm absolutely knackered now, completely worn out. BUT it was sooooo worth it lol hope y'all enjoy it to the fullest bc next update probably won't be until the new year...sooooo...have funnnn!
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! đ
01 ⢠02 ⢠masterlist ⢠04
Day 4
âFuck.â
You think youâve woken up in hellâit must beâbecause, oh god, you feel like death. Your eyes are crusted shut, and you canât feel your legs. But as you rub the sleep out of your eyes and prop yourself up on your elbows, you realise itâs just Namjoon lying across them, snoring away.
You try to take in the room, piecing together the hazy puzzle of last night. The party, the song, you running off only to drown yourself with Yoongi and Namjoon in alcohol, throwing your own little after-party. You remember crying, remember singing your heart out to sad love songs blaring through Dionysus. What a fucking mess youâve becomeâŚ
But after all that chaos, thereâs only blackness. And seeing Yoongi and Namjoon still here with you in the suite, all of you fully dressed and reeking of alcohol, tells you enough. And as you groan, not just from the bottomless pit of stupidity, but from the pounding in your head, you let yourself collapse back onto your pillow.
You fight back another wave of tears, wishing the last 24 hours could just be erased, wishing you were back at home. You fumble blindly for your phone, finding it on the nightstand nearby.
2:56 p.m.
Just brilliant. Though, at least youâre spared from spending the whole day on the slopes. Not that youâd be able to walk straight with how youâre feeling, but a winâs a win.
You need to get up, though, so you start stirring both men awake. Yoongiâs not blocking you, but if youâre up, he has to be as well. Much to your surprise, both of them wake without protest, getting themselves into a sitting position on the bed, looking like zombies straight out of The Walking Dead. You reckon you look about the same.
âSorry,â Namjoon mumbles as you begin massaging some blood back into your legs, which feel like theyâre fighting for dear life.
âSâalright,â you croak out, unable to manage much more.
âPainkillers.â Yoongi just sits there, staring at his blanket, the rise and fall of his chest the only proof heâs still alive, though barely.
You and Namjoon both nod, but no one actually moves until, eventually, Namjoon risesâslowly, hands leaving the mattress only at the last second before he somehow straightens up and makes his way to the door, though itâs anything but a straight line.
Youâre the second to get up, staggering into the bathroom to wash off everything clinging to you. Youâre not sure if itâs just dried sweat or a bit of alcohol still on your skin, though you have a vague memory of Tae pouring something over your back. Either way, youâre in desperate need of a full shower to feel human again.
The only upside to this hangover is that your mind has finally shut up. Every bit of energy is focused on basic bodily functions, like breathing without throwing up and blinking your bloodshot eyes now and then. Youâre not even fazed when Yoongi stumbles in, taking a piss that seems to go on forever; he clearly couldnât give a fuck, and neither can you.
When youâve finished rinsing your hair and are wrapped in a towel thatâs too soft to absorb any actual moisture, you quietly switch places with Yoongi, both of you unintentionally making a point not to make eye contact.
Youâre not entirely sure why youâre still hereânot just in this town but on this entire trip. Thereâs no real drive left in you to give Jungkook closure, no fight in you at all, and definitely no desire to ever see him again.
So, you decide to get the hell out of here. Not right this second, no, your blood alcohol is likely still sky-high and will take a nosedive soon, taking you down with it, but tomorrow, youâre leaving. Itâs the healthiest thing you could do, because frankly, you lost Jungkook years ago, and that realisation sobers you up more than anything else could.Â
It doesnât stir the same emotions it once did as you pull Jungkookâs old hoodie out of your luggageâor maybe youâre just too tired to careâas you tug the oversized black fabric over your head, the only comfortable thing youâd brought on this trip. Some leggings on, with your phone stuffed into the front pocket of the hoodie, you make your way to the main area, letting your eyes roam to maybe spot your missing phone case.
Jungkookâs already lounging in a single armchair, poking absently at the fire with an iron stick, his gaze tracking you as you move around the room. But you ignore him. Itâs not like youâre being petty this time, and he can probably tell from your posture that youâre just not in the mood to interact at all.
Youâre especially glad he doesnât mention yourâor rather, hisâhoodie, and when you give up the search, realising the case isnât lying around here either, you shuffle over to the sofa, collapsing onto it and immediately pulling out your phone. Scrolling through YouTube, you pull the hoodieâs hood down a bit further to block out Jungkook entirely, settling on a spa video promising a very satisfying blackhead extraction.
If your lifeâs this miserable, youâre at least going to give yourself this kind of satisfaction, even if itâs short-lived. And anyway, there are millions of similar videos waiting for you and your lonely ass.Â
Namjoon emerges midway through your video, nudging your legs to make space for him. You shift, but only to let your legs settle in his lap as soon as he sits down.
âHere,â he offers, handing you two painkillers, which you take like theyâre sweets, chewing them up so they might kick in faster. He pulls a disgusted face, but it quickly fadesâprobably canât be bothered to waste any energy as well.Â
âJimin brought food,â Jungkook breaks the silence, still poking at the fire. âShould I get you some?â
Youâre not sure if heâs talking to you or Namjoon, but you answer anyway. âIâm good, thanks.â
Maybe he expected a different answer, as his stick pauses for a moment, but you couldnât care less. The chance to talk things out has passed, along with your will. Itâs on him now. Youâve seen and heard enough.
âWhy did you leave the party so early?â he tries again.
âIt was because of me, I justââ
You cut Namjoon off; he really doesnât need to do this for you. âStop lying, I wanted to leave, and Namjoon and Yoongi didnât want me to be alone.â
âWhy?â
You pause your video, turning to meet Jungkookâs eyes. Heâs bouncing his leg and chewing on his lip ring again, but itâs not your problem if heâs anxious or whatever. âNone of your business.â
Namjoon gives your knee a slight squeeze, and while Jungkook turns his attention back to the flames like youâre the one whoâs hurt him, he can go fuck himself. Youâre not dealing with him right now. Not when heâs got Hara pregnant and sings love songs for her.Â
Yoongi enters at that moment, settling into the armchair beside Jungkook and just managing to catch the two painkillers Namjoon tosses his way.
Silence returns, and you restart your video, losing yourself in the meditative extractions.
âCan I get a haaaawyeah?!â Tae bursts into the hostel, bringing Hope and Hara with him. Three of the four present groan in agony at the sudden noise, and youâre one of them. Still, you shift to sit up, making room for them to join.
Youâre not sure why Hara chooses to sit next to you, quietly handing over a takeaway box of food with that warm, familiar smile of hersâyou know itâs got to be from Jinâs.Â
âIâm not hungry,â you mumble, the bite you had a few minutes ago already feeling like it never had been there to begin with.
âPlease, eat something. Your body needs it.â
Sheâs right, but you canât bring yourself to even lift the lid, staring blankly at it as if itâll somehow reveal yet another surprise youâre not ready for. You know itâs not Haraâs fault youâre feeling like this, or that Jungkook chose her, but right now, all you can feel is bitterness, and her kindness only multiplies it.
Almost unconsciously, you glance up and find Jungkookâs eyes fixed on you, his leg still bouncing lightly, clearly tuned out from the lively conversation between the other guys.
Youâve kept this empty space in your heart reserved for him for so long, never realising heâd never fill it again. You just donât have the energy for this anymore, the will to keep playing his game where he pulls you back into his world only to remind you youâre no longer really part of it. Not properly.
You wonder if Jungkook even realises what heâs doing, if he has any clue about how his actions come across. Or maybe heâs just as stuck as you, caught up in his patterns and too blind to see beyond them. The care and worry in his eyes when he looks at you, when he notices you making poor choices for your healthâmaybe, you reason, itâs just because he doesnât know how to be any other way and nothing more.Â
But thatâs the thing about Jungkook: he genuinely cares. And thatâs why heâs going to be the best dad on this earthâjust not to your children.
âIâm really not hungry.â You think you see Jungkookâs jaw tick just a bit, but he again chooses to say nothing, his gaze, though, never wavering from you.
âI didnât mean to, but damn, that woman was something else,â Tae bursts, sprawled on the floor in front of you, accidentally nudging your knee as he laughs with the others.
âWho?â you ask, trying to tune into the conversation just to get away from the other.Â
âThat woman who was sitting by the bar all night. Tae pulled her,â Hope bursts out laughing, especially at your disgusted, shocked face.
âWas she any good?â Namjoon inquires, like itâs the most normal thing to ask about a one-night stand.
âWhat can I say? She taught me things I didnât even know existed.â
Yep, that infoâs enough to make you gag for real, and judging by Yoongi and Jungkookâs expressions, theyâre feeling the same.
âWant some?â you offer Yoongi the box, hoping to steer the conversation away fromâŚwhatever this is. But he just shakes his head, clearly not ready to risk upsetting his stomach as well.Â
Heâs pale as it is, and you can see the colour drain from his already bloodshot eyes at the sight of food. Poor man.Â
âJungkook, you hungry?â Hara offers softly, and you canât help but glance at him again.Â
His bouncing leg stills the instant she speaks to him. And even though itâs trueâJungkook can eat like a bottomless pit, never saying no to foodâyou donât really want to interact with him right now. But, some things havenât changed at all it seems, like you not being able to say no when it comes to him.Â
Jungkook looks at you with those big, hopeful eyes, as if to say just eat it yourselfâheâd never, like all those years ago, take food from you when itâs clear youâre barely eating yourself. But you just canât, and with that, you get up, lean over the small coffee table separating you both, and offer him the box with both hands, a small, shaky smile on your face.
Jungkook stands up too, reaching for the food between you. You think heâll just take it, but his hands cover yours, brushing over them until they settle on the container, and then, finally, he takes it. It catches you off guard, not just because he touched you first and not the box, but because it was absolutely deliberate.
Why he did it, you donât know, but all you can think about is getting away fast before all your bottled-up emotions explode in your face.
âCanâŚuhâŚcan someone drive me to the nearest petrol station?â you ask, standing there rooted to the spot, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment as everyone looks up at you.
Jungkookâs half a mind to put the box back on the table and get up again, but Hope springs up from his spot beside Taehyung, fishing his keys from his pocket. âIâve got you.â
âThanks, Iâll just get ready.â You cast him a quick, grateful look and head to your room, eyes down.
Hope just saved you there, because if Jungkook had offered to drive, you donât know what youâd have done. Sure, you want him to be happyâyouâre not some heartless person who wishes bad things on people, especially those who areâŚwereâŚclose to you.
 But what about your happiness? Donât you deserve to find peace too? To protect yourself? So yes, youâll take every bit of help you can get, even if itâs just a lift to the petrol station.
You didnât mean to startle so violently when you turned to close the suite door, but honestly, you hadnât even heard Hara following you, moving soundlessly like a ghost.
âCâŚcan I help you?â Youâre gripping the door until your knuckles turn white under your sweater paws, the door not even fully open anymore.
âCan I come in?â
Itâs like something out of a nightmare, knowing you canât turn her away just because Haraâs never done anything to hurt you. You have to remind yourself again and again that sheâs not the villain here, chanting it silently in your head, trying to drown out the hurt that wonât go away whenever you look at her.
So, you nod, opening the door a bit wider, then turn around to let her in and busy yourself with âlookingâ for your phone case, just so you donât have to face her.
âAre you okay?â
Her words break through the sound of the bedding as you give it a shake, hoping your case might fall out, but of course it doesnât. Just like the right answer isnât coming to you now, not to her question.
Maybe youâre okay, as okay as you can be. Maybe youâre not. Either way, youâre definitely not making her your therapistânot when sheâs involved in all this stupid mess.Â
âYeah, sure. Are you?â
âYeah, the sickness finally went away. I just hope I start to show soonâitâs getting weird at this point.â
You move around the room, checking every corner, stopping only when you spot an edge of your phone case outside on the porch, half-buried in the snow beside the jacuzzi.
âHow far along are you?â
âSeventeenth weekâŚweâll find out the gender soon.â Thereâs a subtle cheer in her voice that makes your heart soften for a moment.
It must be incredible to be expecting, especially to finally know the babyâs gender and go a bit mad with shopping. Youâre sure youâd be the same, and Hara likely will be, too.
You glance her way, offering a small, warm smile before opening the door to the porch. âGot a feeling what itâll be?â
Hara comes closer to the door as you step outside, staying in the warmth while leaning against the frame. âYes? No? Maybe?â She laughs. âSome days I swear itâs a boy, and then others Iâm convinced itâs a girl. Tomorrowâs the appointment, soâŚI hope mini-me reveals its gender and isnât shy.â
You giggle, fishing the icy case out of the snow and brushing off the clinging flakes. As you come back inside, Hara moves aside, settling herself on the edge of the bed while you grab a discarded shirt of Yoongiâs to dry the case off.
âHeyâŚuhâŚI donât quite know how to start this, butâŚI know youâre not doing alright.â
The glance you throw her way is wary rather than hostile, but still, you donât want a pep talk from her.
âPlease, just talk to each other.â
Biting your lip, you really donât want to say anything. Yes, you probably should talk to Jungkook, but then again, maybe you shouldnât. Heâs had countless chances to say something, to open up if he had any thoughts at allâand heâs used none of them. Not even when you broke up with him. He stayed silent, like he is now.
Maybe he just doesnât want to talk, not really, and youâre done waiting and being the one to start things.
âThereâs nothing left to talk about. But I appreciate your concern.â
Hara just nods, staring down at the floor, rubbing her hands together between her knees while you pull on your coat and tuck your phone safely into its case.
âItâs a nice case. Did you paint it yourself?â
You glance at your phone, rubbing your thumb over the faded paint that was once so bright. You couldnât bring yourself to get rid of it after the breakup, even though it reminds you of everything good about your time with Jungkook. Maybe thereâs some masochistic streak in you that wants to punish yourself for everything you did and didnât do. Maybe itâs time to let go of all the memories that keep pulling you back to a time thatâs long gone.
âNo.â You sigh, tucking it away in your coat pocket with your purse and heading to the door. You pause with your hand on the handle, checking to see if Haraâs following, which she is. Sheâs right behind you again, and this time, you just let out a startled scream internally, hoping you donât flinch too visibly.
Opening the door, you let her pass first, just to keep her in your sight this time, but as soon as youâre near the entrance to the main area, she stops, raising a hand. You give her a puzzled look, but she only points to one of her ears, so you lean in, trying to make out whatâs being said.
First, you catch the voices of Taehyung and Namjoon, Taehyungâs voice too loud and distinct not to notice. But when you listen a bit harder, you pick up Hope and Jungkook having a different conversation, probably a little further from the others.
âI know! I know youâre a good driver. JustâŚâ
âJust? Câmon, whatâs going on with you, C?â
âJust⌠take care of her, okay?â
âWhy wouldnât I? Youâre acting like Iâm some boy whoâs just got his licence and canât be trustedââ
The rustling of your coat drowns out the rest of their conversation as you step into the room, deciding not to eavesdrop any longer. You glance around briefly, and of course, Jungkookâs eyes find yours again, but you quickly turn towards Yoongi, resting your hands on his shoulders from behind where heâs still slouched on the one-seater. He wraps his hand around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing over your pulse.
âWhy was my case out in the snow?â you murmur into his ear, which earns a lazy laugh from him. He peeks over his shoulder at you, his voice still raspy from his hangover as he murmurs back.
âYou thought you could yeet it away and be done with it.â
Your cheeks go warm again; drunk-you is really ridiculous in every possible way. Youâre just grateful it was only Namjoon and Yoongi who saw your breakdown, and no one else.
âRight.â
âStay safe, yeah?â
He gives your wrist a gentle squeeze, and when your eyes meet again, even though his are still glassy from last nightâs antics, thereâs that quiet care in them only real family can have.Â
âI will. Thanks for being there for me, Yoongs.â You press a quick kiss to his head and give him a brief squeeze around his shoulders, only for him to dramatically fake his own demise.
Straightening up, you meet Hopeâs eyes, give him a quick nod, and head towards the door. Jungkook moves with the two of you, holding the door open without taking his eyes off you. His gaze is so intense that you canât keep eye contact, mumbling a quiet, hurried âthanksâ and âbyeâ as you follow Hope to his car.
You wouldnât have thought Hope would drive a brand-new car, especially a vibrant red one. You wonder if an equipment rental shop really makes that much of a profit or if everyone in this town is just batshit rich. At least youâll be safeâmuch safer than youâd be with Tony.
âSo, how longâs the drive?â you ask, taking in the carâs interior while buckling up in the passenger seat. You notice the soft leather under your bum and the chrome trim around the touchscreen on the console.
âMaybe twenty or thirty minutes, depends on whether the roads are clear or still covered in snow.â
You hum in acknowledgment, tucking your hands under your thighsânot only because theyâre still cold from the short walk outside, but also to avoid the urge to touch anything and risk breaking something youâd never be able to replace.
The carâs rolling down the steep hill you came from a few days ago in no time, and Hopeâs both hands are steady on the wheel, which helps you relax in your seat. Heâs definitely a good driver, like Yoongi, Jungkook, or your dadâthe kind you can actually relax around without fearing for your life.
âSoâŚwould you be a kind soul and tell me what youâre all talking about in that group chat, especially about me?â
Of course you had to askâwhy wouldnât you, now that youâre alone with someone whoâs clearly in on the whole scheme?
âSure, why wouldnât I?â
âDunnoâŚmaybe because of Namjoon.â
âOh, Iâm not scared of him.â Hope laughs heartily, but his eyes donât stray from the dark, snow-covered road ahead.
âSoooâŚ?â
âSo, you should just talk to C. Thatâs what weâre all talking about.â
âWow, wouldnât have thought of that.â
âSo whyâre you asking if thatâs not the answer you wanted?â
You fall silent.
âListen. You and C are both hurting. And the only way forward is for you both to learn how to communicate properly, aka talk to each other.â
âThereâs really nothing left to talk about.â
âWhyâs that?â
âHeâs clearly moved on, no?â
Like, duh.
âHas he now?â
Duh?âŚ
âYeah, with HaraâŚand the baby on its way.â
Were you wrong all this time? It canât be.
âOh, boyâŚâ
âDonât âoh boyâ me.â
âWhy do you think heâs with Hara?â
Youâre trying not to show how hard it is to think clearly in your state, but the time it takes you to respond says it all. âItâs obvious.â
âIs it? Because it sounds like youâre seeing things how you want to, not how they actually are.â
âRude.â
âItâs true.â
âYouâre really forward for someone I barely know.â
âWeâre not strangers, __.â Hope side-eyes you pointedly, making you scoot a tiny bit deeper into your seat.
âBasically, we are.â
âNo, weâre not friends yet, but weâre not strangers either.â
So what does this mean for you and Jungkook? Heâs not exactly a friend anymore, but heâs not a stranger either. OrâŚmaybe he is. God, your brain feels like itâs about to explode any minute now.
âPeople change, Hope. Jungkookâs changed.â
Hope lets a short silence settle between you, his fingers tapping softly against the leather wheel as if heâs thinking about what to say next. Only now do you realise thereâs no sound from the engine, and you clock that heâs driving an electric carâeven though he lives in the mountains, in the cold.
âHave you?â
Youâre half-tempted to just say yes, but is that really true? Youâre not sure. Maybe youâve matured a bit, but not enough to feel like a different person. What you do know for sure is that any growth you might have had stopped the moment you left Jungkook. Youâve been so caught up in trying to heal and be someone youâre not that you havenât really evolved into the person you could have been.
Anything reallyâmaybe a better person, but somehow still the same you. So, what have you become in the last few years? Are you the same? Or not quite?
âNot sure.â
Hope just nods, not as if heâs simply acknowledging what you said, but as if he already knew your answer. Itâs uncanny how much talking to him reminds you of Yoongi, both of them having that same no-bullshit approach.
âListen, Iâm not here to play mediator,â yep, definitely like Yoongi, ânor are the others. You need to talk to him, get things sorted before itâs too late.â
âWhat if itâs already too late?â
âI donât think so.â
âYouâre so positive.â You whine pathetically.Â
âAnd youâre a chronic pessimist.â He mimics you.Â
âIâm just cautious.â You pull your hands from under your thighs and throw them in the air, more to get your point across than anything.
âNo, youâre scared of what might never happen.â
Ouch. But heâs notâŚnot right.
âIâm not. Iâm doing snowboarding now, arenât I?â
âSo why are we heading to the nearest petrol station if youâre meant to be snowboarding all week?â
You shut your mouth and slide your hands back under your thighs, as if that might help you disappear. Maybe you werenât as subtle as you thought, and not only Hope but everyone elseâincluding Jungkookâhas seen right through you. Is that why Hara wanted to talk to you earlier? Urging you to finally talk to Jungkook?
âGotcha,â Hope giggles slightly, though when he sees your sad pout, he reaches over to give your knee a quick squeeze before returning his hand to the wheel.
âAlright, Iâm sorry if I hurt your feelings.â Okay, maybe not exactly like Yoongi. âBut from what Iâve seen and heard, you liked snowboarding. And Iâd say you probably enjoyed everything else youâve done before, too.â He glances over at you. âCorrect me if Iâm wrong.â
You just give a noncommittal shrug.
âYou need to trust yourself and your capabilities a bit more. Start having faith in the positive outcomes, not just the negative ones, yeah? Youâll never be able to live without fear if you overthink everythingâŚespecially things with Jungkook.â
Your pout deepens, a light sheen of tears coating your lashes, which you tell yourself are just from the hangover crashing down on you now, not from facing the uncomfortable truth of your very persona.Â
âI know itâs hard, ___. But sometimes thinking the worst makes it real, even though the outcome couldâve been different if youâd just had a bit more faith.â
âAre you talking about snowboarding or Jungkook?â
âBoth.â He giggles again, and you canât help but join in, sniffing your nose a little.
When just then another small town and the petrol station come into view, you straighten up in your seat, realising youâd been slouching more and more throughout the drive.
Even though youâre not looking forward to stepping outside into the cold, youâre glad for a bit of a cooldown, just to ease your exhaustion.
Hope parks his car right next to the petrol pump, and as soon as he turns it off, you both get out and head to the boot where two big empty canisters are waiting.
âHere, Iâll go to the one right behind this one.â He offers you one of the canisters, and while you take it, youâre still confused.
âI only need one, though.â
Heâs already unscrewed his, pumping petrol as he leans to the side to look at you.
âYeah, this oneâs for me.â
Youâre still confused, but you start filling your canister anyway.
âIsnât your car electric?â
âYeah, but I need emergency petrol for the generator in case thereâs an outage and the babyâs coming.â
You freeze. Is HopeâŚ? Oh god, you were so wrong all this time. Relief floods through you, so intense that tears spring to your eyes. Jungkookâs not the baby daddy.
âYouâre Haraâs baby daddy?â you squeak.
âGosh, no!â
And now you think you might throw up, the tears shifting back to the heartbreak of yesterday.
âAreum, my wife, sheâs seven months pregnant. You missed her yesterday with your epic escape.â
âOh. Uh, congratulations.â
But you only hear a snort from behind the pump.
Not wanting to fill the canister completely, you settle on half, afraid you might not have enough left in your bank account. Youâre not exactly broke, but youâre worried your employer hasnât transferred your pay on time. Again.
âIâm off to pay,â you mumble as you pass Hope and head into the small, warm station, where a young teenager plagued with acne stands behind the counter, his eyes barely lifting from his phone throughout your whole exchange.
âYour cardâs declined, miss.â
The remaining colour drains from your face at his words. This really canât be happening.
âCould youâŚcould you try again, please?â
The teenager just rolls his eyes, and if you werenât so mortified, youâd probably give him some shit for being so rude. But again, the familiar sound of your card being declined fills the little station, and when he hands your card back, you just mumble, âJust a second, please,â before stepping to the far corner by the cooling systems and getting your phone out.
And sure enough, your banking app shows youâre completely drained. Fuck. So thereâs only one option left, then.
âPick up, pick up, pick up.â
âYo,â Yoongi grumbles, and youâre pretty sure you can hear Jungkookâs panicked voice in the background, asking whatâs happened.
âI need your help,â you whisper, glancing over at the teenager to check if he can hear, but heâs already engrossed in his phone again.
âWhat do you need?â
âIâm short on cash. I canât payââ
âWhy?â
Yoongiâs tone isnât accusatory in the slightest, just genuinely surprised. Hope comes into the station now too, cocking a brow at you, which you try to ease with a shaky smile.
âMy employerâs late with my pay. Again. And the trip and, uhâŚit all justâŚâ
âIâm sorry,â Yoongi says, flat, almost monotone, but you know he feels awful now, realising youâre actually struggling, not just joking around. Itâs not his fault though; you never talk about money, and maybe heâs apologising not just because he let you pay for everything, but because you havenât had these conversations before.
âSâalright. Can you just transfer some money quickly so I canââ
âYeah.â
âThank you.â
You hear him sighâone that says, Donât make this a thing now. Hopeâs already paid for his, waiting by the door with his hands in his pockets, scanning some nearby magazines.
Knowing not to waste any more time, you hang up, open your banking app again, and refresh it every few seconds until there it is: a transfer of ten fucking thousand dollars from Yoongi, with the note, Shouldâve told me sooner.
You make a mental note to give him a piece of your mind regarding the sum later as you pay for the petrol, and dash out of the station, dragging Hope with you to escape the embarrassment as soon as possible.Â
âSlow down, will you?â
You let go of his arm once youâre by his car, rubbing your hands over your face in frustration as you mumble, âSorry. God, Iâm such a mess.â
âCome on, weâll talk in the car. I just wanna get home.â
And you do, silently, closing your eyes as the car winds through the woods back the way you came.
You know Hope doesnât want to pressure you, but you want to talk about it, just because bottling it up any longer would fry your brain.
âMy employer still hasnât transferred my pay,â you mumble. âI had to call Yoongi to borrow money.â
Hope lets out a long breath through his nose, shaking his head slowly as he listens.
âAgain, as in this isnât the first time?â
âYeah, as in he owes me several thousand dollars by now.â
âThousands?â
You tap your knuckle against the window, doing a quick mental tally of how much has piled up since you started working for this guy. âAbout fifty. Maybe a bit more.â
âNo. Fucking. Way.â Hope glances over at you with each word, then back to the road. â___, thatâs insane. Fifty thousand?! Why havenât you sued him? Or quit?â
âIâŚâ Yeah, good question. âI actually donât know.â
Itâs not like itâs a brilliant job worth hanging on to, but working from home has its perks, and finding another role in your field? Thatâs practically impossible without connections, which you definitely donât have, seeing as you work from home and have done for years.
âYouâre an accountant, yeah?â
âHow do you know?â you ask, stopping your gentle tapping against the window to look over at his profile.Â
âOh, who dâyou think told me?â He gives you a side-eye, looking slightly annoyed, and you just nod. âAreumâs an accountant too. She works for PwC, all remote. Theyâre looking for someone to cover her on maternity leave, and she gets to pick who fills in for her, sooooâŚâ
âSoooâŚ?â
âWoman, Iâm not spelling it out for you. Youâre not that thick.â
Ouch. âHey! Stop being so rude to me.â
âThen stop acting daft when youâre not.â
God, you want to strangle him. No wonder he gets along so well with Yoongi. You thought he was just this little ray of sunshine with that stupid bright laugh, but heâs feisty as hell.
âIâll think about it,â you mumble, knowing decisions like this arenât made right now, especially as the painkillers wear off and your mindâs about to shut down along with your eyelids.
Eventually, sleep takes over, and if youâre honest, you donât bother fighting it.
â___, wake up.â Hopeâs voice and the gentle push of his hand against your shoulder rouse you not long after. And even though sleeping, even just a bit, should have done you some good, you feel worse after a fifteen-minute nap.
Reluctantly, you straighten in your seat, trying to wake up properly, and smack your lips to get the awful taste off your tongue, but itâs no use. Youâll need to brush your teeth as soon as youâre in the suiteâthereâs no way around it.
âThanks for driving me,â you rasp, glancing out of the windscreen to see Jungkook hopping from one foot to the other in the cold, his breath rising in small clouds in front of him. âWhatâs he doing outside?â
âHeâs waiting for you.â
âOh.â
Itâs a mystery why Jungkook would do that, seeing as youâre clearly not on good terms. Youâve been trading jabs and whatnot with every interaction, so the fact that heâs not fed up by now is really baffling.
âIâm heading straight home if thatâs okay.â
âOh. Sure, yes, of course, sorry.â You unbuckle your seatbelt, knowing you shouldnât overstay your welcome, especially as Hope is snickering again. âThanks again and goodnight.â
âGoodnight. AndâŚtalk to him.â
Well, you donât really have a choice now. Especially when, after closing the passenger door, you walk to the boot to get your half-empty canister, only to find Jungkook already beside you.
âHere, let me help.â
He doesnât meet your eyes this time, which feels strange after he spent all afternoon staring at you.
âIâve got this.â
You heft the canister out of the boot and start walking straight to Tony to fill him up, letting the canister rest by your legs, you wave Hope off as he drives away, then clear the side of Tony of snow.
âWhat are you doing?â Jungkook stands beside you, arms crossed, chest puffed out. He looks intimidatingâhotly soâbut youâre still pissed and very much not in the mood for a chat.
âWhat does it look like?â
He just shrugs with a smirk, and as you finish clearing the snow, you realise youâve done the wrong side of Tony.Â
How embarrassing.
âDonât say anything.â
And he doesnât, aside from a quiet snicker as he follows you to the other side, where you finally start clearing the right bit of snow. This time, you find the cap and pull out your car keys to open it.
Ignoring your wishes, Jungkook picks up the canister and starts pouring the petrol into the car, biting his lip piercings again.
âTalk,â you snap, wanting to get this over withâwhatever it is thatâs bothering him so much heâs biting his lip bloody.
Jungkook glances briefly at you, and while youâve seen that sad expression on him countless times, it still stings.
âWhy did you leave?â
You sigh, glance towards the hostel, and look back at him. âWhen? When I broke up with you? On the slope yesterday? From the party? Or to the petrol station?â
Alright, it sounded cooler in your head, but youâre now realising you might have a bit of a tendency to run off. Oops.
âAll of them, I guess.â He muses, shutting the cap and screwing the canister lid back on as he turns to you fully.
âJungkook, thatâs a conversation Iâm not having with you right now.â
âAnd when would be the best time for it?â
âOh, I donât know. Maybe not outside, not in the middle of the night, not when Iâm batshit hungover, and especially not when youâve built a new life for yourself.â
That last bit wasnât really what you wanted to say, but it slipped out anyway, the perfect proof that itâs indeed not the best time.Â
âThatâs not fair.â
âItâs not fair for you to treat me like this, Jungkook. Iâm not doing this anymore.â
You turn while watching him run a hand through his hair, then stomp through the deep snow towards the hostel to stop yourself freezing out here.
âStop running away!â
âIâm not running away. Iâm going to bed. You should too.â
Jungkook catches the door at the last second and steps into Dionysus right behind you.
âYou are running away.â
You turn to face him sharply, causing him to nearly bulldoze into you, but he catches himself in time, stepping back a bit with his hands on his hips, still clutching the canister in his reddened hand.
âWhy did you need petrol for Tony, whoâs been out of it for days? Why now?â
You purse your lips, mirroring his stance instinctively, staring each other down. Youâre stubborn, but so is he, and youâre not backing down. He wants to start a fight? See who breaks first? See if youâre really running away from him? Well, youâll prove him wrong.
âSafety. Caution. Responsibility. Take your pick.â
Thereâs a familiar glint in his eyesâthe one that says he knows youâre bullshitting him. God, youâve missed this. Missed him.
âSo, not fleeing the scene, hm?â
âNot fleeing the scene.â
And youâre not. Change of plans: youâre staying. Youâll stay, and youâll whoop his ass by becoming the best snowboarder on the planet.
Jungkook just nods, and you nod back.
Usually, this would be the moment heâd tackle you and fuck the truth out of you in no time. And though you can vividly picture it, you need to keep your distance. So before the tension builds too much, before Jungkook becomes too much, you stop nodding and let your arms drop to your sides.
âGoodnight, Jungkook.â
He mirrors your stance, and though his eyes dim with that usual sadness, you refuse to see it as longing. Because why would he?
âGoodnight, ___.â
You nod, and while you canât quite tear yourself away from his gaze, you eventually turn and head up to your suite, finding Yoongi already silently and fast asleep, you canât help but to leave a tiny gap in the door, just enough to watch as Jungkook disappears into his own room.
Day 5
You feel good.
No, scratch thatâyou feel absolutely pumped, energised, and oh-so-ready for the day. Thereâs a wild fire blazing through your veins, just waiting to be unleashed, and youâre absolutely down for it.
Sitting alone in the dining room after that little talk with Yoongi about the sum he transferred to your bank account, only to be met with an eye roll in response, youâre busy preparing the most protein-packed breakfast Namjoonâs buffet has on offer. Youâll definitely need itânot just because your bodyâs craving nutrients, but because your brain needs to be at its best so you can finally beat Jungkook at his own game.
No, not with his petty remarks and actions, but by getting your answers with carefully placed, strategically even, questions so he doesnât even realise youâre grilling him. Youâre brilliant, so of course you can pull this off. The sulky victim era of ___ is overâhere comes the new, improved you.
Though, if youâre honest, you know thereâs a pretty decent chance that Jungkook might catch on to your plan. Heâs always been good at that, always been just as brilliant as you. But his competitive side usually has you beat by the end of the day. But not today. Today, youâre determined to win.
Especially when the man himself strolls in, looking sinfully good. His hairâs damp, falling messily over his forehead and eyes, while his thin white shirt hangs loosely off his shoulders, clinging slightly to his skin where he didnât dry off properly.
âMorning, Kook,â you chirp, practically singing it, intentionally calling him by the nickname you lovingly gave him all those years ago.
Jungkook slows his steps, one eyebrow raised and lips pursed. The confusionâs painted all across his face exactly as youâd hoped. Excellent.
âMorning.â He stops at your table, glancing at the empty chairs next to you and opposite you, and when he takes the one right beside you, youâre doing a little celebratory dance on the inside.
âDid you sleep well, Kook?â He eyes you as he gets his plate ready, and while he answers, you take a small bite of your food, your overly cheerful grin firmly in place.
âUh, yeah, did you?â
âOf course! Snuggly kept me company all night.â
The confusion in Jungkookâs eyes deepens, and youâd give anything to know whatâs running through his head right now. You keep your face just as innocent and cheerful as possible, though itâs getting harder by the second.
âSo, whatâve you been up to these past five months?â If your mathâs right, Haraâs now a little over four months along. So, if Jungkook was around back then, youâve got your answer.
âFive months?â He raises an eyebrow again, biting into the sandwich heâs just thrown together. Thereâs far more ham than breadâprobably more to keep his hands clean than for actual taste.
âYeah, whereâve you all been, then?â
âUh,â Jungkook chews, blinking at you. You can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure you out. âIâve been to Bangkok, Hawaii, and, uh⌠before that, I was here for a few months.â
No. Fucking. Way. So all those mixed signals, not only from Jungkook but all his friends too, werenât so mixed after all.
âThis townâs pretty small. Is there anything exciting to do off-season?â
âWell, Hara had a huge birthday celebration. So there was that.â
âHaraâs birthdayâs in August?â
âYeah, why?â
So he gave her a baby for her birthday. How pathetic it makes you feel, realising youâve been too busy being still his to fall for someone new all this time. But you donât let the heartbreak show this time. You swallow it down because shutting down wonât help you now.
âJust asking.â
Jungkook just nods again, still contemplating your words, trying to read your motives like he always does, though youâre as blank as can be beneath your smile. Itâs not that youâve lost your determination to get through snowboardingâno, youâre way too competitive and stubborn to back down now. Still, you kind of wish you were as drunk as youâd been two days ago.
The upside of being fully sober again is that you feel fantastic. Physically, anyway. The downside is that your brain wonât shut up.
You vividly remember the night you ended things, the exhaustion, the desperation in your every word as you tried to explain yourself to him. It wasnât that you didnât love him; you did and you still do, maybe even more than you should. But back then, youâd grown tired of always feeling like you werenât enough, of feeling like you were someone he didnât really need.
Youâd always been the one to soothe your doubts on your own, to make excuses for him and his choices, to tell yourself it was just a phase, that heâd eventually grow out of itâthat heâd grow out of it for you. Not that heâd never do anything risky again, but just enough for him to see that some things are too dangerous to try.
Losing him was completely your fault, you know that, and even though heâs going to be a dadâeven if itâs not your childâyouâd crawl back to him in a heartbeat if there were any chance. Not that youâd ever be a homewrecker; thatâs something youâd never do, and youâll respect any relationship on earth as it is. But if heâs only going to be a father, if heâs only co-parenting with Hara and theyâre not together, youâd try to make it work somehow.
Or maybe youâre just delusional, thinking youâd be okay with him having a kid thatâs not yours. Because deep down, the thought of him being with someone else after youâeven if you werenât together anymoreâmakes you want to throw up. Not just because picturing it is one of your worst nightmares, but because all the love declarations he made, and will probably make again in that scenario, would be empty in their truest form. At least in your eyes.Â
Thereâs nothing you can do about it; itâs not like youâre some grandma who thinks virginity before marriage is a must. But if he was with you and says heâd want to be with you again, thereâs no chance if he had someone else in between.
Jungkook sniffs beside you, and youâre not exactly proud that, since learning heâs staying here at the hostel too, youâve kept spare napkins nearby, just like the good old days, and youâre not proud as you hand him one with a small smile, still chewing, knowing his rhinitis is worst in the morning.
âThanks,â heâs smiling, though thereâs still that look of doubt in his eyes, as if heâs still trying to work out what youâre up to. âSo, how about you?â
Youâve half a mind to exaggerate again, but you know youâll need to save your energy today, especially since youâre spending the whole day with Jungkook. So you stick to the truth. âNothing really. Mostly work, and a few activities Iâve tried.â
âItâs weird.â
âWhat is?â
âYou doing all that stuff.â
Jungkook doesnât look as accusatory as he did the first day; this time, he actually looksâŚsad.
âDidnât you want me that way?â You keep your tone light, friendly even, but deep down, that old pettiness rises to the surface.
âNo.â The word slips from his lips without a momentâs hesitation, his sad eyes fixed on yours, and suddenly, you canât breathe. It just doesnât make sense.
âIâŚwhy?â
He slowly swallows his last bite and reaches for his coffee, just to toy with the rim of the mug. Then he lifts his gaze to meet yours, boring into your irises as if to tell you more than heâs actually saying. âThatâs not you.â
You just stare at him, trying to understand why heâd want you to change all those years ago, only to now tell you, indirectly, he doesnât like the person heâd pushed you to become. No words form in your brain, again too overwhelmed by it all, so you just nod, because quite honestly, heâs right. Itâs not who you are, even if some of the less riskier activities, like snowboarding, turned out to be more fun than youâd expected.
Jungkook doesnât seem to handle the silence well as you quietly finish your meal, as his leg starts bouncing under the table again, occasionally brushing against yours. Youâre sure he doesnât even notice it, but you do and while you think about shifting your leg slightly away, that faint touch of his somehow soothes the intense longing you have for him.
How many times youâve thought about calling him, only to remind yourself he was the one who let you go without a word, is beyond counting now. Trying to count would be like trying to reach infinity without breaking down as the despair catches up to you and you simply canât do either.Â
You need, with all your might, to pull your mind out of this endless void and focus on the good. Youâre able to have a normal conversation with Jungkook. Heâs fine. Youâre fine. And if you can make it through these next two weeks, you tell yourself that youâll be fine too, even if itâs without him. Because that countdown in your head has shiftedâfrom thinking youâve got time to work things out, to savouring these last moments with him as much as possible, hoping to make memories you can hold onto as fondly as the ones you made all those years ago.
âSo, todayâs blue slope day?â
Jungkook nods with a smirk, eyes still on his cup, clearly lost in thought. âYeah. You ready?â
âSure. I was born ready.â
The snort that escapes him mirrors your own, letting the sadness fade into that playful light in his eyes youâve always adored when he finally looks back up to you.Â
âThen letâs head out, shall we?â
âYes, sir!â You salute playfully, downing the rest of your or rather his iced Americanoâsneakily poured into a regular mugâin one go and standing as soon as Jungkook does.
It doesnât take long for you both to get fully geared up and leave the hostel, Jungkook closing the usual distance between you by walking much closer than he has on any of the previous days, though you welcome it this time.Â
âGive me your board.â Jungkook stretches out his free hand towards you when youâre just a few feet away from Dionysos.
âI can handle it.â
âI know you can. But you donât have to.â
Wondering whether youâre about to be stubborn again, you decide to let him help you. Itâs a nice gesture, and knowing his strengthâwhich has clearly grown over the last few yearsâitâs no bother for him to carry your snowboard too. So you hand it to him, mumbling a small, grateful âthanksâ and fall into step with him, the rustling of your gear and the dull thud of your boots the only sounds breaking the otherwise silent streets.
âItâs such a lovely day.â You marvel at the first rays of sunlight shining down, making the snow-covered streets steam ever so slightly, looking straight out of a fantasy.
The townâs not fully awake yet; a few people are setting up their displays outside, greeting you both with warm smiles and friendly faces. Itâs easy being here, so welcoming when you ignore the chaos thatâs crashed down on you since you arrived.
Youâd like to imagine living here, spending the rest of your life in this place with Jungkook, befriending his friends too, all in some alternate universe. You daydream about a winter wedding, teaching your kids how to build a snowman, and everything else.
It would be nice, it would be perfect. Because in that universe, youâd still be with Jungkook, and youâd be not only happy but fulfilled.
âIt is, the slopes should be perfect too.â
A small group of kindergarteners crosses your path just before the slopes, and as your gaze drifts from them to the shop windows behind, you catch the reflection of you and Jungkook side by side. Heâs looking at the kids, full of adoration, with that same endearing smile you fell in love with all those years ago.
His hairâs just as shiny and healthy, his eyes sparkling in that familiar way. Youâve always known how much Jungkook wants a familyâhe always has, just as you always did. Itâs one of the reasons you connected so quickly. His values and hopes for the future aligned so perfectly with yours that falling for him and picturing a life together was almost inevitable.
You knew back then that having different hobbies wasnât the most important thing in a relationship, that differences in those areas wouldnât decide its downfall. But somehow, you both let those differences take centre stage.
It wasnât just poor communication that damaged things; you lost sight of what truly mattered, letting the good become tainted with doubt, trust begin to crack, and your hearts bleed in ways they never should have.
Standing there now, side by side, you realise that everything that happened, the way you both handled things, was so unnecessarily foolish. You wish youâd made different choices. You look perfect together, like one of those couples you see and just know theyâre meant to be, like theyâre soulmates, like theyâre fated.
Jungkookâs eyes lift up, catching yours in the window, and his smile grows just a bit wider. Thereâs still that adoration thereâor is it just nostalgia? Or maybe itâs the inner peace he feels, knowing heâll soon have a child of his own? Youâre not sure, and youâre afraid to let yourself think too deeply about it. Because, honestly, if itâs anything but adoration, youâd spiral so much, so irrevocably, that you might just break all over again.
Switching your board to his other hand, where heâs already holding his own, he lifts his now free arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. Your head doesnât even reach his eyes, and your shoulder aligns perfectly with his arm, like youâre a puzzle piece fitting into him. You canât help the broad smile that breaks over your face when he says, âIâm glad youâre here.â
You turn away from the window, tilting your head up to look into his beautiful brown eyes, taking in this small, pure moment that youâll lock away in the deepest parts of your heart and cherish for the rest of your life. âMe too.â
Simple moments like these with Jungkook have always been so beautiful. Itâs always been like this, just the two of you in a bubble where nothing else matters. The ache in your heart should ease in moments like this, but instead, it grows, the longing building until itâs nearly unbearable.
How perfect it would feel to kiss him now, how your heart and soul would sing if he kissed you back. The realisationâthe overwhelming certaintyâthat he truly was the one for you hits you like an avalanche, burying you so deeply youâll never find a way out.
Still, you turn your face away, and he lets you go.
âLetâs get it.â Jungkook cheers, and you echo his words, because you donât know what else to say, walking side by side to the lift. Thankfully, this time without any annoying interruptions from his fangirls.
The first ride up in the ski gondola is equal parts terrifying and beautiful. The trees below look like miniature toys, and the mountain peaks seem too stunning to be real, like a picture painted by an artist. The gondola is empty except for the two of you, Jungkook sitting across from you, both of you gazing outside. But every now and then, you canât help glancing at his reflection.
Jungkook talks the entire way up, going over everything you should know about snowboarding by now. His calm voice, his solid presence right in front of you, and his patient review of the basics settle the last of your nerves, along with Hopeâs words, still ringing loudly in your mind.
Fear is faith in the negative.
And you donât want to live like that againânot now, and not when itâs just snowboarding. You trust your own abilities, and you trust Jungkook to keep you safe, like he always has. Well, aside from that one camping incidentâbut youâll turn a blind eye to that for now. You have to, because one lapse in his judgement all those years ago shouldnât undo everything else heâs proven to you.
The morning is spent making descent after descent, each one becoming easier and more fun, especially with Jungkook staying close. You manage to fall less and less, and when you do, heâs always right there, reaching out to help you back on your feet.
And while youâre laughing and joking like old times, it feels as if no time has passed at all.
Just before lunch, you both find yourselves back at the gondola, though this time itâs a different one.
âThereâs this restaurant way up there.â Jungkook points into the distance, and you squint, trying to follow his finger, but the sun is too bright to make out exactly where heâs pointing. âThe foodâs amazing, and weâll be able to take a way longer run down. Itâll build your stamina and get you ready for the harder slopes tomorrow.â
âSounds good.â You smile at him, excited not only for the food but also for the chance to push yourself a bit more.
When you step into the gondola with a few others, itâs so packed that you have to squeeze in beside Jungkook, pressing against his side. With his broad shoulders and your thick coat, thereâs not much room and after a few minutes, Jungkook shifts and lifts his arm, draping it over your shoulder to give you both a bit more space.
You frown. Even though itâs more comfortable this way, you donât like it at all. If heâs with Hara, this is crossing boundaries left and right. You know that if you were still together and he did this with another woman, itâd be a dealbreaker.
The gesture sours your mood instantly, letting your thoughts spiral in a way that has you dangerously close to snapping at him. But you hold back. You wonât start a scene now, not here; youâll wait until youâre at the restaurant and talk things through.
When you reach the top and leave the gondola, heading toward the small restaurant by the lift, Jungkook keeps his hand resting lightly on your back.
Itâs ironic, really. You left because you wanted him to find happiness, to be with someone who wouldnât bring conflict, someone he wouldnât feel the need to change. And here he is, supposedly happy, yet acting like youâre still his, clinging to old habits like theyâre the only things he has left with you.Â
Maybe thatâs the saddest part of all. Heâs got everything he once told you he wanted, yet heâs still holding onto pieces of the past, unable to let them go. And maybe heâll never fully move on, just like you havenât, even if he thinks he has. But thatâs not something you can fix. You triedâmore than onceâto help him keep his distance, to let go of whatever still kept him wounded. Even if it wasnât the perfect approach, pretending to be with Yoongi, you thought it might help him move on. But he has to handle that himself now; youâre done being the one to guide him there.
You deserve peace, too. You deserve to be able to look back on your time together without feeling unresolved tension. If that means keeping your distance, letting him live his life with Hara without stepping in, then so be it. Youâre done making excuses for him, done justifying his behaviour to yourself. Heâs made his choices, back then and now too, and now itâs time for you to make yours.
You take a deep breath, letting it all settle within you as you step into the restaurant. The hurt, the sadness, the longingâsure, itâs all still there, and maybe it always will be. But now, itâs just that: memories. Moments you once cherished, now filed away in a part of your heart that no longer needs to cling so tightly. Or at least, thatâs what you hope.
As you sit down across from him, letting go bit by bit, you realise that maybe this is what closure should feel like. Hurtful, and not freeing at all.Â
âYouâre kinda touchy.âÂ
Jungkook looks up from his menu, running the tip of his tongue over his lip piercing. âI always am.â
Your lips press into a firm line, shoulders tensing even more. Jungkookâs eyes dart over you, and he realises too late that your mood has shifted. As he catches on, his nervous habits start to surface in an instant. He fumbles with his menu, his leg bouncing so hard that the tablecloth shifts slightly with each movement.
âDoesnât it feel wrong to you?â You ask, your tone so accusatory it even startles you.
Jungkook gulps, actually gulps, and you feel the urge to laugh or maybe storm off altogether.
âNo?â He sounds uncertain, though thereâs a strange conviction in his voice, even with his nerves. âDoes it bother you?â
âYes.â
You stare each other down, Jungkook nodding but tilting his head slightly, eyebrows drawn. âIs it because of Yoongi?â
Should you come clean and tell him youâre not dating Yoongi, that heâs just your cousin? But you canât see the point. It wouldnât change anything now, youâre sure of that. Though youâre not sure if the snort and shake of your head is more because of how absurd it all is, or if itâs meant to answer his question. Either way, it fits. And as Jungkook exhales sharply through his nose, his jaw clenching in a steady rhythm, you donât say anything more.
The tension between you feels like itâs growing and the silence between you both is almost suffocating you. You try to distract yourself by looking at the scenery outside the window, but itâs no use.
âI never wanted to do all those things,â you mumble, as if you can somehow lift a bit of the weight off your chest. âBut I felt soâŚso unworthyâŚso empty. I needed to do it, even if I hated most of it.â
The waiter sets down your plates and drinks, wishing you a pleasant meal. Still, you donât look up at Jungkook, maybe out of embarrassment, maybe because you just canât. Instead, you stare at your food, forcing yourself to eat, even if itâs only a little.
âYou shouldnât have.â His voice is gentle, and you feel his gaze burning onto your face, though you try to ignore it. âNot for someone else, at least.â
Is he talking about himself? Or does he think you did it all for Yoongi? Either way, heâs right, though those words would have made more difference if heâd said them years ago.
âMaybe youâre right.â
Itâs unusual to see Jungkook eating so slowly, and itâs not like you to keep so quiet, either. Itâs not that you canât handle silence, but sharing a meal like this without any connection feels so pointless.
âWas it easy?â Jungkook eventually asks, and your eyes involuntarily snap up to him.
âWhat was?â
âMoving on so fastâŚâ
Sometimes, looking at Jungkook like you do now, you marvel at how much heâs matured. His features have lost that softness, his smooth skin now showing faint lines from laughter and time you werenât there to share.
Youâd always imagined growing old with him, and even though it hasnât been that long, your heart aches for all the time lost.
The faint, bluish shadows under his eyes, something he didnât even have during his finals, make him look not just tired, but drained off life. You can only hope itâs not because of you.
âI never did, so I canât say.â
You both go back to eating, letting silence settle again as you try to process it all. Maybe you need a whiteboard, or even a list, something to help you make sense of it all, thinking youâll definitely do that later, once youâre back at the hostel tonight.Â
More than half your plate is still full, but you canât seem to eat any more. As you set your cutlery down and tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear, you notice Jungkookâs already finished his meal.
âYou should eat more.â
âIâm full. Iâll just take it to go.â
And after Jungkook sighs and nods, you do just that, quickly insisting youâll pay for your own meal, refusing to let him cover it for you.
Finally back outside, the sky has shifted, like your mood, from sunny and clear to dark, with low-hanging, heavy clouds.
âThatâs odd,â Jungkook mutters, fishing his phone out and typing quickly. âForecast didnât mention a downpour.â
âWhat should we do?â Your nerves flare, body tingling and palms starting to sweat as that familiar panic creeps in, the kind that takes over any time things veer off-plan.
Jungkookâs eyes dart over his screen, only adding to your unease.
âShit,â he curses under his breath and puts his phone away. âSo, uh, thereâs a thunder cell thatâs come up out of nowhere, and thereâs a warning for a severe snowstorm. But itâs all good. We still have time.â
Just then, the first big snowflakes start falling from the clouds, and the wind picks up. As you look up at the sky, your voice trembles, âJungkook?â
âAlright, okay, maybe we donât have as much time as I thought. Weâre going to head down this way quickly, but safely.â He points toward a fork in the path where you can see a sign with a blue dot in one direction and a black one in the otherâthe black meaning itâs the most difficult and dangerous run there is.
âOkay.â You donât sound entirely convinced, partly because, while you believe in your skills, you know that in these weather conditions, even the best skills wonât count for much.
âStrap on your board. We need to go.â
And you follow his instructions because, at this point, thereâs no other option. The wind has picked up dramatically by the time you straighten up again, and you have to strain every muscle to stay upright against its force.
Youâre terrified, and Jungkookâs focused, hurried pace isnât doing much to settle your nerves.
âYouâre leading, so I can keep my eyes on you.âÂ
You nod, shifting your weight forward to start descending, but keeping control of the board proves not just difficult, but almost impossible. Your vision blurs with the flurry of snowflakes, even through your goggles, you can barely make out the slope or see the fork ahead.
âTo the right!â you hear Jungkook shout from behind, his voice frantic to its core. But as you pick up speed, the wind shoves you beyond the limit of what you can handle, pushing you towards the left, dangerously close to the black run.
âTo the right, ___!â
You try, you really do, but you canât seem to manage it. Like a leaf in a gale, youâre pulled in the direction you donât want to go, helpless to stop it. Lungs burning with each short breath, you think you scream the moment you realise itâs too late, skidding down the steep, black slope.
You try to brake, just like Jungkook taught you, but your knees are weak, your muscles not trained enough to regain control.
Jungkook rushes up beside you, and even though youâre in full survival mode, his presence brings you a tiny sliver of reassurance, even if itâs just for a while.Â
âYouâre doing good, keep going!â
And you do, tears streaming down under your scarf. The storm keeps pushing you off course, pulling you again and again in directions you donât want to go. But Jungkookâs right there, sticking close beside you, trying to block out some of the windâs blasts and guiding you as best as he can.
It feels like an eternityâfighting against nature, fighting to stay upright, fighting the fear building stronger and stronger in your chest. Somehow, even though you left the marked slope ages ago, heading somewhere unknown and unsure if itâll lead you to safety, you spot a small, abandoned-looking hut in the distance.
âTry to stop!â Jungkook yells, his voice barely reaching you through the howling wind.
âNow?â
âNow!â
You manage to stop, though clumsily, falling hard onto your bum, every muscle aching so painfully youâre barely able to move. Jungkook ditches his board in seconds, crawling over to help you with yours as the frozen clips stubbornly resist coming loose.
âYou good?â He glances briefly at your face, breath visible in short puffs matching yours, his lips chapped and slightly split.
You nod, though youâre still trembling, trying to steady yourself as adrenaline surges through you without much mercy.Â
Jungkook gets up with your board in hand, offering his free hand to you in a heartbeat and pulling you up effortlessly. After he picks up his own board, jointing yours, he clasps your hand with his free one and bolts towards the hut, dragging you along with him.Â
Thankfully, or rather miraculously, the hutâs indeed abandoned and open. And while Jungkook pushes you inside first, letting the boards clatter onto the wooden floor as he leans against the door, both of you are panting and gasping for air, needing this break more than anything.Â
The hutâs not really windproof, small gaps in the wooden walls still letting the cold wind whistle inside.
âSeriously? What the hell were you thinking?!â He rips his helmet off and throws it to the boards on the ground.
You try to straighten yourself, though the acheâs nearly too much. âI⌠I tried. I⌠itâŚâ
âYou just never listen, do you? I told you to turn right back there, but of course, you went your own way. Always have, always will.â
The storm outsideâs picked up even more now, and the cold has seeped into your bones, though you still fold your arms, doing your best to keep your voice steady despite the burn in your lungs. âOh, please, Jungkook. Donât act like Iâm the only one who doesnât listen. Youâve got selective hearing when it suits you.â
He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a gloved hand through his sweat-dampened hair. âSelective hearing? I spent years trying to tell you things, but you were always too stubborn to actually listen.â
âRight, yeah, Iâm the stubborn one,â you snap right back. âYou still canât even talk to me unless itâs about some bullshit like snowboarding.â
âOh, as if youâre any better.â
âI am! You didnât even say one word before I left!â you explode, ripping off your helmet too, followed by your gloves, yeeting them across the hut.
âOh, fuck off, ___! I wanted to, but clearly, you couldnât wait to fuck Yoongi as soon as you got rid off me!â
âYoongiâs my cousin, Jungkook. Family. But I wouldnât expect you to know that, since you barely know anything about my life anymore.â
Jungkookâs face falls at that, and you can clearly see how his whole world view crumbles in his eyes, leaving nothing behind but a hollow sadness youâve never seen before. Though youâre sad too, youâre hollow too, and so you continue, âDonât pin this on me when I never moved on, when you were the one fucking Hara and giving her a baby.â
His unfocused eyes snap to you, lips still parted as he breathes, âI never slept with her. Sheâs Jinâs wife.â
You feel like youâre falling, falling so hard and fast you canât stop. The tears that coat your eyes are nothing compared to the agonising realisation ripping you open. All those years, even all this hurt youâve been experiencing these last few days, were unfounded.
If you werenât this close to Jungkook, youâd think his red nose was just from the cold, but the silver lining his eyes carry shows just how broken you both are, what you did to yourselves without even realising it in the first place.Â
âYou moved on,â you press out, fighting the sob that threatens to spill.
âI havenât.â
How foolish all the assumptions were, how foolish of him to assume just as much. How utterly foolish that you both lost the ability to talk to each other long before your relationship ended.
But maybe it had to come to this for you to learn what itâs like to be separated, to learn how to communicate⌠but have you really? You reckon you havenât, not given how things went down. Maybe itâs too late, just as Hope warned you, though a small, fragile part in you clings to the delusion that things might still turn out right.
âLetâs⌠letâs call for help.â You turn, unable to keep looking at Jungkook, and youâre sure he needs time to process the bomb thatâs just dropped.
âYeah,â heâs taking out his phone again, though the breath he lets out is nothing short of concerning. âMy phoneâs dead. How about yours?â
By now youâve sat down on the small, bare bed, as standing any longer would have had you fainting by this point. While you rummage through your inner coat pocket to pull out your old beaten-up phone, Jungkook stomps over with his snow-covered boots and sits down beside you, leaving enough space between you that it feels like miles.
Lighting up the screen, you see your phoneâs battery miraculously still well over 90%, but thereâs absolutely no signal. âNope, no signal. Weâre stranded.â
Just as youâre about to put your phone back, Jungkook stops you with his voice. âYou still got the case?â
You pause, looking over at him, only to meet hopeful eyes you canât quite place.
âUh, yeah. You clearly got rid of yours though.â
You hate sounding so bitter, but it is what it is. Years of feeling the way you did canât be undone with one revelation.
âI lost it⌠my phone, too, when I was in the Caribbean shortly after weâŚâ
You hum and nod because what else is there to do?
âWhy did you keep it?â
Your eyes stray from your phone, where youâre running your thumb over one of Jungkookâs doodles on the case like it always does, to him, though heâs not looking at you this time, just fiddling with his gloves in his lap.
âI canât get rid of memories. You should know that.â
âEven if theyâre bad?â He turns his head to you, though his eyes are fixed on your phone. The way heâs slouching is so unlike him, and it hurts to see what youâve done to him.
âThey arenât bad.â
Jungkook nods a few times, as if heâs trying to cement your words in his mind, rewriting everything he thought was real but never was.
Eventually, Jungkook stands up and walks over to a small closet, pulling open the doors to see whatâs inside.
âNo way.â He breathes out a laugh, and you crane your neck to look past his broad shoulders, though itâs no use.
When he turns, arms full of vacuum bags stuffed with blankets and pillows, you feel like you might scream in delight. Especially when Jungkook rips them open beside you and a waft of freshly washed fabric hits you.
âThatâs like hitting the jackpot.â You look up at him, your grin as wide as his as he just laughs. âCan you light the fireplace too?â
Jungkook furrows his brows as he looks around the hut, likely because he hadnât spotted it until now. But as soon as he clocks it, along with the stack of dried wood beside it, heâs off in a flash, inspecting the chimney and everything else.
Meanwhile, you gather all the bedding and spread it out on the bed, purposefully ignoring the fact that thereâs only this one bed in the hut and not even a couch. It shouldnât be a big dealâyouâve done more than sleep in the same bed as Jungkook before, and youâre both clearly single, so thereâs nothing your conscience can protest about.
Still, time has passed, and youâve clearly drifted apart more than you wouldâve liked. Itâs an unusual situation youâre in, an emergency really, and youâll have to adjust to it without reading too much into it.
âGot a lighter on you?â
You pull it out of your pocket, leaving Yoongiâs cigarettes in your pocket that you nicked this morning alongside before leaving, and toss the lighter his way which he catches effortlessly with one hand, lighting up the kindling heâs set, framed by a few larger sticks of wood.
Jungkook watches the fire intently, and soon enough the hutâs heating up, allowing you to take off your coat. Not wanting to keep your boots on any longerâby now, theyâve cut off all circulation in your feetâyou pull them off as well, then crawl onto the bed, settling against the headboard under the layers of blankets.
Youâre absolutely knackered at this point, and as you check the time on your phone, you realise itâs already past dinnertime.
âYou can join me, you know?â you smile as Jungkook turns around, muttering an âokayâ and starting to peel off his gear too, though you donât miss the flush creeping up to his ears.
How endearing he can still be.
The bedâs clearly not meant for twoâespecially not when Jungkookâs become this buff. Heâd probably struggle to fit on his own, let alone with someone else. And though youâre fairly petite next to him, youâre both squished together, personal space nonexistent. Still, itâs better than freezing to death outside.
âIâm so tired,â you yawn.
âIâm so hungry.â
The pout on Jungkookâs face makes you giggle; itâs just so him. Without thinking, you lean over him to fetch the food from your coat. Only when you settle back beside him do you notice how stiff heâs gone.
You donât comment on it, just hand him the leftovers, which he reluctantly takes, though this time he doesnât engulf your hands like he did yesterday. Not that youâd admit it, but youâre a bit sad he didnât do it again.
âYou hungry too? Itâs your food.â
âIâm good, Jungkook, please just eat.â
Youâre starting to read him again, just a bit less hazy than it was the last few days. So before he can start arguing with you, those sad boba eyes pleading for you to eat when youâre genuinely not hungry, you lay your hand over his arm, giving it a light squeeze. âIâm not hungry, promise.â
With that, Jungkook starts to eat and you lean back, slumping more into the blankets as he eats in silence, your eyes growing heavy with each passing minute.Â
âYou can sleep if you want.â Jungkook gently pulls the blanket higher over your shoulder as you lie down fully, your head nearly resting against his hip.
âIâm still cold,â you mumble sleepily, though thereâs no chance youâll really fall asleep while youâre still shivering like this. The stormâs really taken it out of you.
Jungkook shifts, and when you open your eyes, you realise heâs finished eating and is lying down facing you. âTurn around.â
Lying beside him like this, faces just inches apart, is something you never thought would happen again. And while itâs hard to look away from himâthe slope of his nose, the Cupidâs bow of his lips making them almost too invitingâyou fight against the blankets draped over you both and turn around. Jungkook slips an arm around your waist without much care, pulling you fully against him until thereâs no space left between you.
Heart racing like a hummingbirdâs wings, you try to relax into his hold, but the thin layer of fabric separating you makes it feel as though youâre bare. Youâd seen the contours of his body when he stripped off his gear, the black thermal shirt and pants clinging to his muscles like a second skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. But feeling his solid body against yours like this, after so long, leaves your head spinning in circles you canât seem to stop.
You havenât noticed how your hips press back against his crotch, havenât noticed the way your body instinctively moves against his until Jungkookâs breath hits your ear.
âSorry,â you breathe, but somehow, you canât bring yourself to stop. His large hand, which had been resting on the mattress beside you, slides up along your stomach, stopping just before cupping your breast from below, and you know youâve stepped through a door that shouldâve been left closed.
Heat rises within you, making you shiver with something far more pleasant than the cold. You need more of him, more of his touch, and your hand slips from beneath the blankets, reaching back to tangle in the hair at the back of his head, willing yourself to just feel and nothing more.Â
His quick breaths ghost across the part of your neck thatâs bare, just enough to spark more want not only in your heart but your cunt too. You tug gently at his hair, urging him down, igniting a fire you know wonât be put out easily.
Before his hand fully cups your breast, he pulls you even tighter against him, hot lips kissing and sucking at your skin as you press yourself back, trying to ease the ache between your legs against his growing cock.
The low moans slipping from Jungkookâs throat are music to your ears, and the realisation that he likely sang that song not for Hara, but for you, sends another wave of arousal out of your cunt.
âJungkookâŚâ you rasp, basking in his touch, but as soon as his name leaves your lips, he pulls back.
Thinking youâve done something wrong, you turn your head, only to see him tugging off the last of his clothes. Relieved and more turned on than youâve ever been, you strip off your own gear, leaving the blanket draped over you. Itâs been years, your bodyâs changed, and while you know it shouldnât matter, you still hope he doesnât notice.
In a blink, heâs back, resuming where he left off, though now itâs his warm, smooth skin against yours. The ridges of his abdomen press along your back, and the feel of his cockâhard and oh so hotâagainst the cheeks of your ass is pure bliss.
You turn your head, trying to catch his gaze, maybe even hoping for a kiss, but when you catch sight of the familiar chain around his neck, it stops you in your tracks.
Jungkook pauses too, his eyes questioning, but as soon as he realises what youâre looking at, he gives you a lazy smirk, his hand cupping your face to turn you towards him and with it your whole body.Â
You expect him to kiss you now, hungrily like he always did, but instead, he brushes his lips along your cheek, your neck, shifting to settle between your legs while the cool metal of the chainâs grazing your tits with every shift of his body.
âI donât have a condom. I couldâŚeat you out.â
His thigh pressing against you doesnât lessen the ache, but you remember the one scare you had together, that time you thought you might be pregnant not long after youâd started dating. It wasnât that you wouldnât have wanted it, but youâd both been so young. Even now, the thought makes your heart skip, but not as violently as it used to. Youâd be ready and willing to take the risk, though, would he?Â
âIâm clean, on the pill.â
Jungkook lets out a low groan against your neck as you press your thigh gently against his cock, needing to give something back.
âI havenât been with anyone since you. So clean.â
Is he serious? The thought hits you hard, and though you know he never lied to you before, you still canât help but pull back, needing to see his face.
âYou havenât?â
âNo.â His voice is barely a whisper, and the same love you remember shines in his eyes, making you tear up.
âMe too.â
âFuck.â He returns to your neck, his fingers tracing your lines until they find your weeping cunt, slipping between your lips to spread your juices in gentle, familiar strokes as he preps you, every touch an echo of the love that maybe never faded.
The first stretch of his middle finger inside you is nothing short of insane, drawing you higher with a single stroke than any toy has managed in years. The way your cunt clenches around him seems to drive Jungkook on even more as he pumps with precise motions, soon adding his ring finger, bringing you dangerously close to euphoria.
Jungkookâs free hand roams from your neck to your tits, back and forth, squeezing, mapping you out like he forgot how you felt like, though finally resting on your jaw as he nestles his head between your shoulder and neck, leaving soft love bites in his wake.
Itâs when he picks up the pace, the base of his palm hitting your clit relentlessly with each thrust, that you come undone, your orgasm flooding over his hand as he continues, determined to not stop just yet.Â
A muffled whine of your name slips from his lips, softer than youâve ever heard, and while you long to hear him call your pet name like he used to, it only amplifies the fullness in your heart for him.
Jungkook keeps his fingers inside you, now scissoring them to stretch you further as you cling to his back, not caring if you leave angry marks.Â
âThink you can take it?â
âYes,â you mewl, not caring if you couldnât. Youâll take him, you need him, need to feel as if none of those years apart ever happened.
Once again, you think he might finally kiss you, but instead, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to your damp forehead. You momentarily frown, but itâs forgotten the second his cock aligns with your still sobbing cunt, dragging up and down to coat his entire length and even his tight balls.
The sight of Jungkook when he finally pushes in is nothing short of mesmerising. Heâs so perfectly sculpted, every muscle cord defined, and with his piercings and tattoo sleeve, he looks like a fantasy you never dared dreaming of.Â
Youâve always had a weak spot for tattoos, but seeing them inked across Jungkookâs skin? Thatâs your ultimate downfall. A glorious downfall, as the burn of his thick length pushing deep inside you sends you reeling, until heâs so far in that you canât tell where he starts and you end.
âOh my god,â you choke out, overwhelmed by everything Jungkook isâand everything heâs become.
Heâs unusually silent, though you barely notice, not when he begins to rock his hips, leisurely sliding his massive cock in and out, low grunts and moans escaping him as his gaze locks onto yours and not dares to stray.Â
Jungkook leans back, increasing the intensity of his thrusts, sweat forming in small beads along the ridges of his chest and abs, dripping down despite the cold. His nipples are hard, and your mouth waters with the urge to suck on them. But seeing his own mouth slightly parted, breaths quickening in time with the rhythm of his hips, youâre sure heâs thinking the same, drawn to your own nipples, standing proud on the jiggling flesh of your chest.Â
And while you wish you were the flicker of firelight dancing across his skin, youâre not far behind, as his hands find their way from your hips to your tits, caressing them like he always did, giving you everything and far more. You need something to ground yourself, a way to keep from shattering under the emotions running wild in your mind, intensified with every thrust Jungkook drives into your core. So, you grip his wrists, not to stop him, but to urge him onâto make him pinch harder.
Maybe you need the bite of it, maybe you want him to not just take away the ache, but be the reason you remember this night years from now.
âJungkook, Iâm so close, oh my god.â
The grunt that escapes him reverberates through you, nearly pushing you over the edge on its own, but he slows, setting a gentler pace as he shifts so his mouth can worship you from your breasts to your neck, leaving a trail of hickeys across your delicate skin.
You know the two of you will be marked by the end of the night, and right now, thatâs all you want. You want to leave yourself etched into his skin, to reclaim your place not only in his heart but in every part of him.
In this moment, itâs like youâre finally wholeânot just because Jungkook fills you completely, but because he completes you. He always has, and while youâve both been damned by what happened before, it feels like redemption might be close.
âYouâreâŚâ Jungkook murmurs against your skin, his warm breath searing into you, though you need him to finish his sentence, need to hear it.
But as you cradle his head in your hands and he lifts his gaze to meet yours, his eyes are hooded, yet glistening, and your throat tightens at the sight too.
Face to face, you share the same breath, as if you share one heart, your small hands gripping his face as if you never want to let go, his hands cradling your small head with the tenderness that once meant everything. Itâs as though you feel what heâs trying to sayâbut somehow, you donât.
Thereâs still a wall between you, still something unsaid screaming in the silence that just canât seem to go away, and youâre sure he feels it too. He feels it as your orgasm builds, feels it in the desperation of his own thrusts, in the matching, agonising, wordless ache in both your eyes, feels it when you both shatter together in a burst of all colours and stars in existence.Â
And then, all thatâs left is pain.
He hasnât kissed you, and you didnât kiss him either.
And as he pulls his now-softening length from your still-pulsing cunt and reaches for a tissue from his trousers off the floor to help you clean up, he silently gets dressed.Â
Dresses as if heâs ashamed, dressed as if he regrets it, dressed as if youâre the worst thing thatâs ever happened to him.
So you do the same, slipping into your clothes before lying back down, shifting as close to the wall as possible, facing away from him to give him some peace where none is found.Â
The tears falling silently onto the pillow should only be from the shivering thatâs returned, a byproduct of the cold that momentarily disappeared but is now back as if you were never meant to feel warm again.
Finally, exhaustion sweeps over you. Physically. Mentally. And everything in between.Â
And as Jungkook lies down too, once more pulling you close and wrapping you in the warmth you crave more than you can bear to admit, your eyes fall shut almost effortlessly.
Maybe sleeping it all away will make it better, forgotten as a dream that never was.
Forgotten, like everything good that once was but now isnât anymore.
Forgotten, like the tear you feel slide down the back of your neck, disappearing into the fabric of your shirt where all your sins and failures lie buried.
01 ⢠02 ⢠masterlist ⢠04
a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! đ If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a âď¸ Ko-fi.com/runariya đ
Like what you read? Check out my other work here!
All Rights Reserved Š @/runariya 2024
taglist: @kookiewithluv , @closer-to-jungkook , @dreamcatcherluvr , @runariyaluvr, @blueofocean, @leah-rose03 , @httpjeonlicious , @futuristicenemychaos , @cryingoverpixelsetc , @variety-is-the-joy-of-life , @kawaiiisstuff , @delusionalsnack , @jaykay-world , @kookie-vuitton , @https-mei, @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs , @avawants2havefun , @kawaiiisstuff, @ancagab16 , @lovingkoalaface , @lachimolalajeon , @jkslvsnella , @asimuss7 , @elinaki92 , @minghaosimp, @whoa-jo , @jaytheatiny , @winterbeartaehyungbestboy, @xsyruhh, @joonlover1207 , @elinaki92 , @junecat18 , @remgeolli , @kooloveys , @nemelkawar
#fic: CCL#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts army#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#romcom#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff#jungkook bts#jungkook romance#Jungkook romcom#jungkook#crack fic#kim namjoon#namjoon#bts namjoon#bts kim seokjin#kim seokjin#bts min yoongi#min yoongi#park jimin#bts park jimin
388 notes
¡
View notes
Text
ALTAIR. THE TWELFTH SEAT.
vampire, twelfth chair of the stellar council. 700+ years old, they/she. warden of the newly created, one of several presiding judges over misdeeds and crimes.
⽠š âž altair is the brightest star in the constellation of aquilais, and is the twelfth - brightest star in the night sky. name meaning, in arabic origin it means â flying eagle. â
⽠² âž in chinese belief, altair is better known by its other names:  qiÄn niĂş xÄŤng  (çľçć / ç˝çć) or niĂş lĂĄng xÄŤng  (çéć), translated as the cowherd star. these names allude to the love story, the cowherd and the weaver girl, in which niĂş lĂĄng and his two children are separated from respectively their wife and mother zhinu by the vastness of the milky way. they can only meet once a year, when magpies form a bridge to allow them to cross the milky way to each other.
within the origins of this lore, vampires sit on a council born from the names of stars and their rankings of magnitude. vampires upon the council forego their original, human names, and take on the name of the star in which houses their seat. the corresponding number collates to rank and standing within the council, each has their own job from number one, to ninety-two. these are given based on importance and status level.
death is the only release from the stellar council.
vampires exist in their own separate world, adjacent to the human world and accessible through certain â doors â that have been placed. most vampires within the stellar council have access to their own door or can simply manifest between the two worlds with ease.
higher ranking vampires from forty and below are immune to the effects of sunlight, those below twenty are immune to the common stake through the heart scenario.
all vampires possess an innate power/ability, though vampires within the stellar council can covet these to new heights within their corresponding levels.
seats one through twenty meet on a regular basis (as regular as you can call the quick passage of time, for them), other levels of seats meet within their own terms and conditions as freely as they would like, with some travelling to meet with the seats of the first twenty to discuss important matters.
as a human altair and their sister were turned into vampires by sirius, the first seat. two hundred years later, altair became the twelfth seat and their sister the fifth, vega. in a brief history, vega was later killed and a new fifth seat was appointed, whom altair does not get along with and has tried to dispose of several times and still refers to them as their human name despite holding the fifth seat for more than 300 years.
altair has acclimated to the modern world exceptionally well, one of their innate talents being that of blending in, able to retract sharp fingernails and disguise their pointed ears, giving the outward shape of a regular human being.
their job as the holder of the twelfth seat is to act as a warden over newly created vampires and to access whether they have been made in malice, carelessness, or by a strict design. not all vampires under this lore possess the ability to turn human beings into their own kind, and so it is altair's job to make sure this is not done with the wrong intentions. certain vampiric venom breeds faulty vampires, in a way. this does mean that they have a lot of vampires under their charge, regarded as fledglings.
altair also acts as one of several judges of crimes against humans and vampires alike. vampires are under no strict instruction not to harm humans, but where the disruption of human life is considered catastrophic then matters must be dealt with swiftly.
altair's main ability is a form of hematomancy, the ability to read the past and present (and sometimes future) within the blood of others. for altair this manifests as needing both parties, themselves and the other person, needing to make an incision on their palms and press them together, a give and take of blood to activate the ability. with regard to what the other party receives, their incision will heal remarkably quick as a result of taking in altair's blood (this is not the only method in which altair can access this ability, it can be done through more forceful means).
altair can also choose to share her own past, present and future insight with the other party, but this is not information that is available simply upon contact.
other abilities include fast injury regeneration, various forms of magic, daylight resistance, ability to turn humans into vampires, light manipulation.
in reference to point ⽠² âž , when altair's sister passed she left behind two of her own fledglings that she had turned herself. with nobody to care for them, altair took them under her wing and regards them as their own children, they can only see their â mother â through projections of altair's memories.
altair was born within the ming dynasty era of china, their father central to the government within their province. their forgone human name was li ( ç li . great judge )  liĂĄngyĂš ( ć˘ liĂĄng . meaning mast, bridge, elevation, beam . ć , yĂş . meaning pleasant, delightful . )
personality wise, altair is carefree and can often be referred to as a nuisance for other vampires in the lower levels. she can be quite unhelpful towards their need for information/help from them, but she takes her responsibilities very seriously.
whilst some vampires on the stellar council have integrated into modern society, a vast majority have refused to. most notably would be sirius, the first seat, who has made no effort to mingle with the modern world or its inhabitants. another is capella, the sixth seat, whom altair bothers more than most, the two of them having formed a close bond from altair's ascension as the twelfth seat. altair constantly battles to force capella into the modern world and showers them in trinkets that she claims they're missing out on.
#lore ă ⚠࣪ Ë ďź altair ăďź#mm yeah thats it for now#will probably be updates bcs i feel like i forgot something#took me hours to get my translations in order if theyre wrong hmu .
8 notes
¡
View notes
Text
â¨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 20/09â¨
Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then youâll have to check the whole post if itâs answered here, if itâs not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~
@funnybadger868 ha chiesto:wait so if mk can hear macaques past can he hear wukongs for example the circlet and the spell
Yeah he could. It's now just a matter of if he wants to use this power ever again
@cryptic-theseus ha chiesto:you're paying for my therapy btw, the bill is on the way
Blame it on the gay monkies not me. It's bc of them that my life is ruined/hj
@ayrza ha chiesto:Hey!I have an important question, where do you get your sources for the AUđđťđđťp? I mean, I just recently entered the LMK fandom and I see that there are parts that are not mentioned much in the series and it frustrates me because I feel like I only watch the anime but I'm missing the manga đŤ I love your art and your work, it's amazing đŤ°đťâ¨
Hi! Well I' finishing to read Journey to the West (im at chapter 80) and if I need extra info or just check I go to the fandom wiki.
@feyqueen91 feyqueen91 ha chiesto:A question for your Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU (btw, I just saw your recent post for More Than A Successor Arc & I thought something light hearted was needed to even out the Angst), is Macaque able to summon something like what Red Son did with the Samadhi Sprite, and he teaches MK to do it too?
Wait what exactly? I haven't understood what you meant by sprite.
@og-glitch-punk ha chiesto: Honestly I expect this to be hidden but i also love your work on both comics, keep it up!! I forgot their names but dude- how would the lotus prince and our moon chef feels about wukong and Macaque being MK's parents? HELL. WHAT ABOUT THE TRIO? YELLOW TUSK, PENG AND THE LOIN (CANT REMMEBER HIS NAME EVEN IF HE IS TECHNICALLY DEAD/GONE). Hell even this chaotic snake man may even use MK to his advantage with the fact he is the child of Wukong and Macaque. So many possibilities and guesses, so many twists and turns we will never know bro
Oh he absolutely woud. Also about the others. They would probably act like protective aunt/uncles to that poor traumatised boy.
@thenerdnico ha chiesto:Oh my GODS that last bio dad's chapter broke me, your expressions are always amazing. I'm going to assume that at the end of Wukong's and Macaque's fight, Wukong realised Macaque wasn't moving and ran up to him, and ended up sobbing and screaming when he realised he was dead??? If that is the case, do you think MK listened to it long enough to hear that as well?
Oh for angst reason yes. He did.
@shadowpeachera ha chiesto:AHHHH YOUR SHADOWPEACH BIO AU IS SOO GOOD!!!! I SCREAMED AT THE LAST UPDATE!!! I have a question though. You know in the series i think season 3 epsiode 5 where Wukong goes into a deep mystic monkey meditation, yeah. Well i was wondering if Mk has ever tried that but got disrupted and lost his memories or started acting strange infront of his monkey parents. It would be hilarious i can imagine him shouting, âTUDI, TUDI!âKEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, no pressure though! HAVE A GOOD DAY!
Lmaooo ok ok I don't think I'll go witha small amnesia arc in the AU but this doeĂ sound adorable.
@sakuralotus03 ha chiesto:It will probably be quite heavy, but I suggest that after Wukong saw the monkey like that he had a huge attack of guilt and anxiety and ended up injuring his left eye with his claws
Poor baby!! Nono don't worry his eye is fine.
@raylamoongirl ha chiesto:question for macaque: what was the hardest thing to teach Mk?Lmk bio parents Q&A
Mmmm so they tried really hard to teach him shadow teleportation, but he seems to not be able to do it.
@lmkobsessedmoth ha chiesto:For the Shadowpeach Bio Parent AU What if macaque and wukong go on a date and wukong doesnât know itâs a date because heâs as dense as the rock he hatched out of
He truly would be. May the gods give him a clue or smt otherwise we wont end up nowhere here
Anonimo ha chiesto:Hey!I love your Shadowpeach bio Parent's AU But I Wonder,Does Wukong and Macaque already dance together before?
Danced??? I think so?? When they still were lovers friends I think (i think i m missing something)
Anonimo ha chiesto:I am on my knees, heart giving out, HOW IS BABY MK SO CUTE AND SHADOWPEACH SO ALLERGIC TO JUST KISSING ALREADY LIKE COME ON YOU TWO Anonimo ha chiesto:When I read the other part where swk and mac where talking about wanting MK to view them as parents at first I thought swk was proposing having another kid with Mac and I went âWOAH HEY- HOLD UP FOR A SECOND THERE U NEED TO GET UR SHT TOGETHER FIRSTâ and thank god it wasnât that I thought swk was JUMPING AND ACCELERATING THEIR PROGRESS LMAOOOSo Iâm actually glad they are taking baby steps, they need them
This slowburn is gonna be so slow-burning you all are gonna die when they actually kiss (will they kiss? Oh that's just for me to know ahah)
Anonimo ha chiesto:Since macaque is called mama by mk does that mean macaque is like a mother figure to mk in your au mama macaque is adorable and he gives off motherly in his character
Anonimo ha chiesto:Whos mom if there is considered a mom by MK or only dads? Is it Wu or Mac? My headcanons is Wukong basically the mom cuz he gives off mom and dad vibes together and Macaque just gives off dad vibes to me
He gives more motherly vibes, yes (Mamacaque and DadWukong forever)
Anonimo ha chiesto:Hi in you bio parent au for monkie kid how were monkey king and macaque as teenagers when they had a good relationship were like they a romantic couple or had secret crushes on each other and never told each other or were they just friends love this au it's amazing
Oh I think they were definitely lovers once. And that makes their past and what happened even more tragic honestly.
@ayrza ha chiesto:I don't know who is more adorable: Baby MK or Macaque and Wukong blushingPsd. I love your AU and your art đ
Both. Both is good
@diamondwolf23 ha chiesto:THOSE TWO BETTER KISSSSSSSSSSS-Iâm gonna miss Baby Mk ;-
Me too. Me too.
Anonimo ha chiesto:You could say Wukong is a...... simpian?(like simian but yknow >>)
LMAO YES
@scififeather21 ha chiesto:You can't believe how much I love your Shadowpeach AU comic series that last part made me grin so much. Mostly because my husband and I have done that exact thing when our kids were small babies and the looks and smiles were the same too. OMG it such a nice thing to see after a long day at work yesterday. :)
THAT'S THE- SWEETEST THING?????? LIKE IM SO GLAD I WAS ABLE TO MAKE IT A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE???? TO HEAR IT'S THE SAME THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER
@snsp6 ha chiesto:I love ur bio dads au! I wanted to ask what would happen if smth similar to the baby mk incident happened to the immortal monkeys.Like either they were de-aged to their youth or had an amnesia rules type of situation!(I am in love w the world building in this!!! And ur art is delectable!)
I don't thing the world would be ready for non-reformed Wukong#like-#not really reformed but the guy killed so many people bc of impulsiveness#until he learned that murder is not fine
Anonimo ha chiesto: This might be a stupid question, but for your bio parents, AU is MK just always in his monkey form, or is this just how he permanently looks now?
He's on his monkey form when he trains / stays at the weekends at FFM or when he friendly duels/train with Mei and Red Son.On weekdays he's constantly in his human form
@meisawkwardashecc ha chiesto:Is Wukong potentially shorter than Macaque? đđĽşAvatar
Yes
@miraclecactus ha chiesto:Can you show us what's going on in the Freenoodles house? I'm looking forward to knowing how they manage to calm MK down :( Puedes mostrarnos que es lo que sucede en la casa de Freenoodles? Estoy ansiosa de conocer como ellos manejan el como calmar a MK :(
They used Wukong and Mac advices until he feel asleep.
Anonimo ha chiesto:I like how Wukong asks Macaque how he knows MK won't hate him after this. Like my guy, you literally killed Macaque, and he still hangs around I think he knows a thing or two
True. Although let Wukong be the dumbass he is.
alizardonfire ha chiesto:I love the idea of macaque being wukongs *rock* if that makes sense? It gives so much character to him.
Aaaahh ty! Yeah I feel like he's pretty good at understanding when he s just out of his mind and bring him back to earth.
Anonimo ha chiesto:If this isn't to much spoiler will the next lmk comic be angsty
This will be answered too late but I will always warn you in advance if there s angst coming.
Anonimo ha chiesto:I love your art! Lighthearted question since your about to bring the pain- do you think Mac and Wu fight over who gets to be little spoon/big spoon or are both of them 100% happy with Mac as big spoon and Wu as little spoon every night
So as for now, they are good with Wukong being the little spoon. Both bc Wukong is the the one who constantly craves for touch amd bc Macaque feels more comfortable in a position of "control" let's say. He can decide how much closer or not to get to Wukong.
Then in the future they would be more comfortable to switch (and the bicker about who should be the big or small)
@sallyvanna ha chiesto:HAIII FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOUR BIO PARENT AU it makes my day every time I see a new page postedI was just wondering, why was macaque kinda nervous when he summoned rumble and savage? He was like 'ah shit I didn't want that-' đ
It was because the kid would be afraid of them! Of course he wouldn't. But I guess Macaque still feels like his powers are a threat to him.
@redwrathroit ha chiesto:Hey, note this is something you can completely ignore but I wanted to know if you had a ref sheet for your monkey Bois, I'd love to take a try and drawing them plus I had made an Oc character of my own but I did it once and then art block hit me like a train and said; nah, never again. So it would really help me out if you have a ref, if not ignore this and have a nice day/night
Unfortunately I don't. I have a lot of panels where you can see them full body in various stances though.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Wukong being the little spoon is too cute, he spends years being the big spoon platonically to everyone that someone finally gave him what was needed, to be protected instead of being the protector
Yesss he iss!!!!!!
@froggyofdeath ha chiesto:Question abt Shadowpeach bio parents! Sooo, who kills the spiders, who screaming abt them, who the one who picks it up and try to scare the screaming one?đŤ â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸â¨ď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸
Mk is screaming, Wukong picks it up, Macaque kills it.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Can we see exactly when they decided to prepare the courtnapping room? Like when exactly did they know oh we need to prepare that our son has apparently followed in our footsteps
Unfortunately in this AU for now I don't plan tp draw a full spicynoodle arc as well. There will be moments for the ship as well but more like extras and side stories.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Your shadowpeach bio au reminds me of something..... I remember you saying to someone that they should Read a Son of Two Dad's. Have you read the entire thing? and the sequel?
Yes I did! Also the sequel, but i think it s in hiatus.
Anonimo ha chiesto:In you newest update for the shadowpeach parent au, that one scene of Macaque looking at Wukong as MK holds his finger kind of reminds me those flashback scenes in movies of the dead lover/wife that is looking at the main character from under a flowing blanket. I have no clue why but the image popped up in my head when I read that part of the comic lmao
I bet when they are back together they will re-create this exact image eventually
Anonimo ha chiesto:I love that Macaque is initiating contact with Wukong. Hugging him, holding his hands, cuddling with him. It makes my heart melt đĽšđĽ° And Wukong is giving him opportunities to do so
He is opening the door for Mac to come closer, so that it's his choice how much he can get closer. The last thing Wukong wants is to rush things or do something that would make him more uncomfortable.
Anonimo ha chiesto:Omg! I love your art especially your shadowpeach parent bio au, it's adorable! Although I'm terrified for the next page. Anyway, my question is, why won't you let the monkey trio breathe from the trauma? đ
đĽš
Bc apparently chat asked for it
506 notes
¡
View notes
Text
UGH I FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED THIS
so yeah, have the divine warriors of the second war of the magi!!
more deets n closeups under the cut :3
aph!! i like to think that although the incarnations of the divine warriors r generally pretty similar, they do have some minor differences. for example, whereas the matron of the first war of the magi (irene) had one of the sets of wings on her head covering her eyes, the matron of the second war (mcd!aphmau) has both of them held back. this is bc whereas irene had lost her humanity (and therefore the ability to connect with mortals), aph hasn't - and, therefore, her eyes are open to the struggles of humanity. additionally, i took a lot of inspiration from honkai impact 3rd for these designs - in aph's case, i was inspired by elysia's herrscher of human: ego battlesuit and how it looks like a wedding dress (which a lot of folks have interpreted as an expression of her love for humanity, which is smth i want to convey w aph).
i think my favourite part of aaron's destroyer form is his seal (the thingy behind his head like a halo). i wanted to rlly play into the whole destroyer/devourer aspect of his abilities and domains, and i thought a black hole would fit perfectly! it also sort of (unintentionally) plays into how i see the dynamic between the matron and the destroyer and how they're both mirrors of each other; whereas the destroyer, well, destroys (and his black hole devours everything in sight), the matron creates and nurtures (seen in how aph's seal is almost like a white hole). i also wanted his armour to look a lot like the armour that shadow knights wear, albeit without all the spikes and spines and whatnot given that he isn't a shadow knight himself (shad's destroyer form from the first war probably looks a lot more similar to traditional shadow knight armour).
i'm lowkey suuper proud of how travis's keeper form turned out (even if i had to go back right at the end n fix it bc i forgot to add his tail đ). i wanted this form to sort of be a mix between a high mage and a rogue: whereas the keeper embodies knowledge and magick, travis himself is a prankster who relies on cunning and trickery to gain the upper hand on his opponents. as a result, he's the only one who doesn't automatically manifest a weapon when he shifts into this form - instead, i feel like he chooses to rely more on magicks and witchcraft during combat.
katelyn's design was lowkey the hardest to pin down. originally, i wanted to go for something that was suuuper inspired by roman armour and had a copper and teal/turquoise colour scheme, but it wound up feeling too magical girl-ish and i scrapped it. i've retained the roman inspirations, but i headcanon that her flames are so hot they burn blue, so i settled on a blue-and-white colour scheme w some purple elements. i think my favourite part is her gauntlets! i feel like she uses them as an extension of herself/another pair of hands to punch with. the blue elements also lean into menphia's association with the moon - in ashes, ashes, tu'la is based on the roman empire and, as a result, is where werewolves originate from, and with werewolves having such close ties to the moon.... yeah. i'll probably do a post on tu'la later on at some point.
my blorbo
garroth's design is probably the one that's changed the least, but i'll still need to update his ref sheet anyway. i don't know if i conveyed it very well but the sort-of wing-things on his back are slabs of earth that can be shaped into a shield - originally i had him holding a shield but i wanted him to look a bit more divine warrior-ish so i retooled his design.
the boy! i was tossing up between having vylad or dante fill the role of the wanderer, but i settled on dante as i feel like vylad fits better as a sort of weird guide sort of figure within the narrative. plus, i have a real soft spot for dante and wanted him to remain in the limelight a little bit - i love his dynamic with garroth and laurance and i wanted to explore that further. i sort of wanted to play into his whole red-and-blue colour scheme that we see in canon diaries, but bc kul'zak is a nature deity (specifically of the wilderness), i wanted to incorporate some greenery into his design. i hope i've done an okay-ish job here - overall i'm pretty happy tho, but i can't promise that there won't be any tweaks in the future.
this is a redhead laurance propaganda spreading blog and i Refuse to apologise for it. i'd like to think that laurance's original colour scheme is similar to his justiciar form - lots of beautiful reds and golds and oranges to match the flames of his father's forge - but after he comes back from the nether with a Severe fear of fire he switches to the greens and browns that he's known for in canon. eventually he slowly begins to reclaim his fire and returns to the golds and oranges that he's introduced with (haha colour symbolism go brrrrrr).
but yeah. the special interest is special interesting. let me know if u have any questions!
#aphblr#aphmau#minecraft diaries#aphverse#mcd#mcd rewrite#garroth ro'meave#garroth mcd#aphmau fanart#aphmau art#laurance zvahl#laurance mcd#katelyn the fire fist#katelyn the firefist#katelyn mcd#aphmau shalashaska#aphmau mcd#aaron lycan#aaron mcd#travis valkrum#travis mcd#dante mcd#divine warriors#irene the matron#shad the destroyer#enki the keeper#menphia the fury#esmund the protector#kul'zak the wanderer#xavier the admirer
253 notes
¡
View notes
Text
New Lengths
I CONTINUE TO PROVIDE ALL THE TRANSFEM GOJO CONTENT I WANT AND CAN'T FIND ELSEWHERE!!! this time back with the reader inserts! (there's a stsg transfem gojo piece on my ao3 account if anyone wants to read that too!) anyways sorry it's been so long since i updated this series, i got stuck for a while. once again huge thank you to cal (i forgot your url i'm so sorry update he's @dr-runs-with-scissors) bc he loves transfem gojo probably as much as i do and constantly encourages me to come back to her. love u friend đ
series masterlist here | read on ao3 here | wc: ~2.3k | cw: transfem gojo (duh), gender neutral reader, fluff as usual, you trim her undercut, that's basically it lol
The progression of Satoru making changes to her appearance was gradual, and youâd been with her every step of the way, encouraging her to take things at a pace that felt natural to her.Â
Of course, youâd also been happy to indulge her at every turn, painting her nails every time she decided she wanted to try a different color â sheâd amassed quite the collection of blues and glittery top coats since that first trip to the drugstore â as well as helping her find different makeup products to try out, though most of that browsing was done online.Â
A few weeks after she started wearing lip gloss out of the house, sheâd gained the confidence to let you put a little bit of product on her brows and lashes. It wasnât anything super noticeable, just a bit of clear gel, but sheâd been ecstatic the whole day afterwards, her eyes sparkling behind her sunglasses.Â
A few days after she started wearing the gloss and lash gel out of the house, you noticed her hair had gotten a bit longer, and it no longer stood up as straight when she wore the blindfold. You couldnât remember the last time youâd seen any noticeable difference in the length of her hair, so you decided to bring it up.
âYou havenât been wearing your blindfold as much lately,â you murmured from your spot on the bed, gently rubbing some leave-in conditioner into her hair â not really anything fancy, just something to help keep it soft and fluffy â and giving her a gentle scalp massage in the process.
âHavenât felt like it,â Satoru answered casually, leaning a bit further into your legs from her spot on the floor in front of you as you continued to work the product into the damp strands. âFeels better to wear the glasses when I wear product in my lashes, too. Doesnât make everything feel crushed, I guess.â
You hummed, giving a small nod. The movements of your fingers slowed a bit, though you still continued to lightly scratch at her scalp the way you knew she liked. âIs your hair bothering you at all, either?â It was impossible to miss the way her shoulders tensed slightly at your question. âI noticed that itâs starting to fall in your face more than it used to, even with the blindfold on.â
She was silent for a few long moments, then nodded slightly. âYeah, it does,â she agreed quietly, and when you looked further down, you could see she was rubbing her thumbs along the sides of her fingers, an anxious tic youâd noticed she had even before youâd started dating, but it seemed to have gotten worse since sheâd started to transition in private.
The silence that settled over you then was tense, but not necessarily uncomfortable. When it became apparent to you that she wasnât going to be the one to break the silence, though, you took a deep breath. âDo you want to grow it out, princess? Because you donât have to, if you like your hair the length it is now. Plenty of women donât grow their hair out long.âÂ
A shuddering sigh escaped her lips then, as if the words had given her permission to talk about changing this part of her appearance, permission to admit she was ready for another step forward. âI-I, uhâŚâ Her voice faltered for a moment, but as always, you patiently waited until she was ready to speak again. âI think I do want to grow it out, yeah. B-but not the undercut, I wanna keep that short.â
âYeah?â you murmured, smiling down at her as you trailed a hand lower, down the back of her head until you reached her undercut, gently scratching your nails across the area. âHm, it could probably use a trim. But we can make sure to keep the rest long.âÂ
She relaxed into you a bit more again, and your expression softened.
âI know itâs a little late now, but do you want to contact your hairdresser about getting in to trim your undercut?â
Satoru grimaced slightly at your words, and she shook her head slightly. âYou mean my barber? No, I donât. Now that Iâm transitioning⌠I donât think I want to keep seeing him. Feels wrong.â She shifted a little, resting her cheek against your thigh. You could tell there was more behind her explanation of âfeeling wrongâ continuing to see her barber, but you werenât going to push her to say any of it out loud; you had a pretty good idea of what she meant, anyways.
âThatâs fine,â you assured her. âI can help you find another stylist, we can get you in to see someone then.â
âWell, actuallyâŚâ she trailed off for a moment again, hesitating. âI was thinking⌠maybe you could trim it this time?â She tilted her head back to meet your gaze, her own blue eyes unsure.Â
Your eyes widened in surprise at her words, and you blinked dumbly for a moment.
Taking your silence as hesitance, Satoru rushed to speak again. âJust this time! Just until I can find a new stylist. Itâs getting long, and I really want it trimmed as soon as possible, and Iâm still nervousââ
She was absolutely rambling, trying to fix the situation, when you cut her off. âIâll trim it, princess. I donât mind. I was just surprised, is all.â Wanting to make sure she understood that you were serious, you resumed scratching lightly at her scalp, smiling sweetly down at her.
Satoru practically melted at the touch, dropping like a puppet with the strings cut as the tension quickly left her body. She let out another shaky sigh, though now she was smiling slightly to herself, turning her head a bit further into your touch. âThank you,â she murmured, pressing a sheepish little kiss to your knee.
The sensation tickled a bit, and you giggled softly, pulling your knee away from the touch out of reflex. âOf course, âToru. Do you want to trim it now, or do you want to wait until tomorrow?â You really werenât sure which way she would decide: sheâd said she wanted a trim as much as possible, but sheâd already showered and washed her hair that night, and you were certain sheâd want to rinse any stray hairs off her skin once you were finished.Â
âAre you okay with doing it tonight?â Her eyes were on yours again, her expression much more relaxed than before, and she blinked curiously up at you.
Once again, you were a bit surprised by her words, not having expected her to answer you so quickly, but you nodded easily. âYeah, Iâm fine with that.â
Her face lit up at your words, and she was quick to scramble to her feet. âGreat!â she practically cheered, taking your hands and tugging you up from the edge of the bed.
Following her was easy, especially when she was so excited, and you couldnât help but laugh softly at her eagerness; a sound born out of pure affection. You allowed her to pull you into the bathroom, standing and waiting patiently as she released you to pull a case from the cabinet. For a moment you were confused, until she opened it to reveal an electric beard trimmer and the guards to go with it.
âThatâs what that thing is?â you asked, laughing again. âWhy do you own those? I didnât think youâd ever even grown facial hair.â
âI havenât,â she confirmed with a smile. âShoko got these for me as a joke a couple years ago. Not sure why I kept them all this time, honestly, but it looks like theyâre coming in handy now, yeah?â
âThey certainly are,â you agreed.
After looking over the set of guards, Satoru eventually picked the 1/8th of an inch length, and helped you get the guard attached to the trimmer.
Holding the trimmer in your hand, you looked her up and down, a slight frown on your face. âYouâre too tall,â you said after a moment. âYouâre gonna have to sit down so I can do this without accidentally making you bald.â
That got a laugh out of her. âI think I would prefer to keep at least some of my hair for now,â she teased lightly, but sat down on the closed toilet lid. âBetter?â
âYes,â you confirmed, relieved that it did, in fact, change the height difference enough for you to have a good angle. âCan you pull the rest of your hair out of the way? I need to get a towel to wrap around your shoulders.â
Satoru nodded, digging around in one of the drawers for a hair tie as you turned to the linen closet and grabbed a towel. By the time you turned back to face her, Satoru had managed to tie the rest of her hair up in a small ponytail on the very top of her head, and the way it stuck up made you giggle as you wrapped the towel around her shoulders.
âWhat?â she demanded, feigning indignance. âI look beautiful right now, Iâll have you know.â
âBeautiful like a flower getting ready to bloom,â you teased, pressing a quick kiss to her lips before moving around to stand behind her again. Picking up the clippers from where youâd set them on the counter, your whole demeanor grew serious again. âI need you to really try to stay still, okay âToru?â
âIâll try my best,â she promised, shooting you a reassuring smile over her shoulder. âI trust you.â
You did your best to smile back at her, then gently turned her head so she was facing away from you once again. Swallowing thickly, you switched the clippers on, your grip tightening slightly as they began to buzz in your hand.Â
Not for the first time, you were glad that working as a sorcerer for so many years had given you reasonably steady hands, but right now you were especially thankful, because it meant there was a much lower chance that you would make some sort of mistake while trimming your girlfriendâs hair. You took your time, running the clippers in slow, straight passes up her scalp, watching as the little tufts of lavender-white hair drifted down and landed on the towel youâd draped around the sorceressâs shoulders before you started.Â
A short while later, you were finished, and you shut off the clippers and set them aside. When Satoru began to move to get up, you were quick to stop her. âHang on,â you told her, âlet me wipe the hair off your neck.â
She settled again obediently, and you wet a washcloth, wringing out the excess water before turning back to her, gently running the damp fabric over her skin, murmuring a little apology when she jumped at the first touch.
When you were finished with that, you stood back, admiring your work. âAlright,â you said, smiling slightly to yourself. âAll done.â You tossed the damp cloth into the sink to deal with later, and before she could do it herself, you pulled the towel from Satoruâs shoulders, careful to keep any of the trimmings from falling onto her or the floor.
âWhat do you think?â you asked, the two of you shuffling around each other a bit as she stood and moved to look in the mirror, and you stepped to the shower and shook the hair off the towel.
Satoru twisted and turned a bit, trying to get a good look in the mirror, eventually giving up and just running her fingers over it to test the length. âHmm, yeah, much better,â she hummed, smiling at you in the mirror. âThanks, baby.â
âYouâre welcome, princess,â you told her easily, hanging up the towel. âNow, come on. Itâs getting late and I want my princess cuddles.â
With a smile so bright it was nearly blinding, Satoru took your hand and led you back to the bedroom; even if she wasnât feeling as tired as you were, she was always more than willing to indulge you in cuddles, because really, she adored them, too.
The two of you crawled into bed together, shuffling under the blankets and giggling quietly at each other as you pulled the blankets up over your shoulders. As you settled down, you realized your girlfriendâs hair was still pulled up in that goofy little ponytail, and you gently pulled the hair tie free, sliding it over your wrist in the process.
Her hair fell down around her head then, and as you tenderly brushed the strands from her eyes and tucked them behind her ear, you realized it really had gotten some length on it; the ends of her hair now rested only an inch or so above the bottom of her undercut, and you couldnât help but twirl some of the strands between your fingers.
âGonna have my own personal Rapunzel soonâŚâ you yawned, offering her a sleepy smile.
Even in the dark of the bedroom, you could tell the words had her blushing fiercely. âI sure hope not,â she mumbled. âI donât wanna be locked in a tower by an evil witch.â
A small hum of amusement escaped you, and you nuzzled a little closer to her, pressing a sleep-clumsy kiss to the corner of her lips. âDonât worry,â you promised quietly. âIâd be your knight in shining armor and rescue from the tower, even if I had to climb up to you âcause you didnât wanna get your hair dirty.â
Her bashful laugh was the last thing you heard as you drifted off, a gentle smile still curving your lips, one hand still fiddling with her hair.
taglist: @mitsuristoleme @kentohours @peachdues @ghost-1-y @witchbybirth
@marinnnnnnnnn if you'd like to be added my general taglist, let me know! always happy to add people đ divider by @/cafekitsune
#fallon's fics#transfem gojo#trans gojo satoru#trans gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo jjk#jjk gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#jjk fanfic#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk x y/n
81 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Staticmoth/Voxval Fic Rec List
Welcome to my Staticmoth/Voxval Fic Rec List! :D
I will keep updating this periodically as I read more fics, so feel free to check back every once and a while! I'll reblog it when I update it, plus make a note with the date at the top. Trust me, this is by no means a complete list; there's fics I still want to add to this that I just haven't gotten to yet. I just decided to go ahead and post it anyways, because if I kept waiting until I ran out of fics to rec I'd probably be working on this forever.
These are not in any particular order; I'm going by both my Bookmarks list on AO3 and my memory of fics I forgot to bookmark. I also tried to make notes on what fics were written before season 1 released, but I might have missed some, so keep that in mind.
Please let me know if any links don't work!
â¨Before you proceed:⨠read the tags on these fics if you decide to read them. Many of them have heavy material - no surprise given the fandom, but still, felt like this needed said. On that note, there's also fics with explicit material and some fics are straight up PWP. Again, read at your own risk/heed the tags.
Fic Rec List Masterpost
Radiostatic Fic Rec List
Misc. Vox Fic Rec List
------
Freak-A-Zoid by Femalefonzie
Summary: A shortage of suppressants in Hell means that Vox is going to be enduring a heat for the first time in years. Who better than the Vees' resident pimp to help him through it? Afterall, the last thing they need is for someone to complicate the situation with "feelings" and Val was the best at keeping love and lust separate. Until now.
TLDR; Valentino plays himself.
Notes: SO FUCKING FUNNY. Cannot read this in public bc I laughed too much. Val and Vox are both idiots. Perhaps the most human depiction of them that I've seen, especially during sex. Neither of them are suave or coordinated, but by god are they trying.
system takeover by Subedarling
Summary: Velvette has never been the type to play hero. But when a mysterious new player enacts a dangerous plot to usurp the Vees' power, taking her two idiots hostage in the process, that's exactly where she finds herself. Now she has no choice but to go on an impromptu rescue mission, maintain the facade that everything is fine to the outside world, and prove why she's the backbone of the Veesâand she hasn't even had her morning coffee yet.
Vox and Val are going to owe her so hard after this.
Notes: Technically Velvette-centric but I'm including it anyway bc it does have Staticmoth; found family. She's so badass in this, I love it. The Staticmoth is very sweet. :3
even if i quit there's not a chance in hell i'd stop by Subedarling
Summary: Valentino stretches his arms over his head as he enters the kitchen, yawning. His robe is hanging loosely around him, and God, if Vox were to run his hand down his chest he could probably count all his ribs. He stops short when he sees the plates waiting for him on the counter. His eyes narrow. âThe hell is this?â
âYou know, most people would say thank you when their partner makes them breakfast,â Vox says dryly.
Notes: Very tender. A good kind of hurt. Deals with ED.
Parvulus by Heliosolar
Summary: Vox woke up to something... unusual. Terrifying, even. He calls Valentino, desperate for the help.
Valentino is, of course, irresponsible, and Vox is exhausted.
He just wanted to get through the day like normal, why did this have to happen?
Notes: Written before season 1. The art of Tiny Vox is not linked, but I've seen it before and it is SO CUTE. If anyone has a link, please share with me so I can link it here!
A Wager of Desire by Heliosolar
Summary: Valentino and Vox have a small dispute over something meaningless, so they make a bet.
Vox has to last an entire dinner while at Valentino's mercy.
What could go wrong?
Notes: Written before season 1 release. One of the first Staticmoth fics I read. :)
Venenum by Heliosolar
Summary: During an uneventful meeting, Vox makes the mistake of stealing a drink from Valentino.
Notes: Written before season 1 release.
Getting Railed (By Child Support) by Charnel_Goat, spappest
Summary: The female of several species can store sperm for many years prior to using it to fertilize her eggs. As it turns out, spider trains do this too.
Decades after their romantic fallout, Overlord Choo Choo Charles is knocking on Val's door to demand he take responsibility for the results. By way of kidnapping his boyfriend to lure him to his den.
Notes: One of the crackiest fics I've ever read. Vox is an idiot with a horrible sense of self-preservation and Val fucks a spider train without birth control. Just...read it, okay? I literally cannot think about this fic without giggling like an idiot every time.
Beautiful Monster by IceBlueButterfly
Summary: âYouâre late,â is the first thing that comes out of Voxâs mouth.
That sharp smile somehow grows wider.
âI believe the term is âfashionably lateâ baby,â a smooth voice with a light Spanish accent replies.
Which⌠okay if Vox is being honest, is kind of hot.
Screen heating up a little more, Vox shoots a bored look.
âOr just late,â he snips back. âOh well,â he claps his hands. âDoesnât matter, you ready to get down to business?â
âOh baby,â a bright gleam in even brighter eyes, âIâm always ready to get down.â
Vox is already regretting this decision.
OR Moments in time throughout Vox and Val's relationship. Vox may have no idea what the moth demon will bring to his life, but neither does Val.
Notes: A very nice exploration of how Vox and Valentino's relationship evolves.
Only a Shadow by passthevoxcord
Summary: Vox shows up on the hotelâs doorstep with no memory of how he got there or who he is. They agree to house and heal him, and slowly but surely he finds joy in becoming better. Then Valentino shows up and is forced to choose between self-altering addiction and the closest heâs ever come to love.
Meanwhile, Velvette has a new potion brewing, one that will grant her more power than the Vees ever had. Only Vox and Val can stop her, but will goodness really overcome evil? Or will they be only a shadow of their former selves?
Notes: The Voxval is currently toxic and only just now being touched on in Chapter 9 of the fic; I say 'currently' because the author explains in the AN of the first chapter that both Vox and Val will go through some "self-discovery and healing". Seriously, just read it. It's very good!!
You Found Me by passthevoxcord
Summary: Long before Velvette came along, it was just them. Vox and Valentino. Valentino and Vox.
Notes: Includes some interesting headcanons for Vox and Val.
Virtual Reality by passthevoxcord
Summary: Vox gets tired of his cybernetic biology being a barrier to his sex life, so he starts a new project to fuck Valentino in VR. Val will try anything once, but he has something else in mind.
Notes: Surprisingly sweet. ^_^
Muted by passthevoxcord
Summary: Val helps a nonverbal Vox deal with sensory overload.
Notes: Sweet and tender. :)
Freaky Friday by passthevoxcord
Summary: Vox and Val wake up stuck in the otherâs body, but itâs no big deal because they both know how easy the other has it. Right?
Notes: Written before season 1 release. Sweet take on the different challenges Vox and Val face in their daily lives.
Something Akin To Love Series by Awesome_Possum
Summary: Vox's taste in partners is delightfully self-destructive and that's an itch Valentino is more than happy to scratch.
It's not safe or sane, and whether or not it's technically consensual is heavily up to interpretation, but what they have is probably something akin to love.
A collection of StaticMoth fics set in generally the same continuity.
Valentino is awful and Vox is unfortunately really really into that because a control freak in the streets is a masochist in the sheets.
Notes: Has 2 parts, both very much worth reading. Very funny, lol. Vox is in a hell of his own making but enjoying it at the same time.
Update Prescription by innerfray
Summary: Vox tricks Valentino into getting his eyes checked. They're forced to confront the nature of their partnership.
Notes: One of my favorite Staticmoth oneshots. Felt like an interesting take on Val's blindness. Angst so good...
Like Moth to a Flame (Or to a Bright Blue Screen) by datweirdo
Summary: Valentino is a moth after all
Notes: Cute and funny!!! "You fucking murdered him" lmao
30 Decibels by Shortsighted_Owl
Summary: Somewhere, under the low humming of the monitors, the quiet gurgling of replacement coolant being piped into Vox body, a new noise - dry, yet somehow viscerally wet, and so very soft - made itself known, but only just.
And Valentino almost missed it. - After a fight with Alastor, Valentino watches vigil over Voxâs broken form.
(What if Vox still has organic vocal cords, and after a fight with Alastor, the synthesiser he uses to amplify his voice is destroyed. What if Valentino hears Voxâs real voice for the first time?)
Notes: Heed the tags, there is in fact body horror lol. Sweet but mildly horrific. <3
Priest, mailman, cruise captain or chef? by Destabilize
Summary: Inspired by Vox's outfits in Stayed Gone - Val and Vox try out some kinky stuff with a priest outfit, to mixed success.
Ah ha!â Val squealed with delight, wine glass drained and thrown on a sofa, âThis!â Val was standing proudly by the wardrobe holding up a long red robe with a hat and some kind of sash. Vox scowled, âIs that a fucking priest outfit?â
âSi! Isnât it fun- itâs in your colors too!â
âYou wanna be a priest?â
âNo baby! You be a priest and I can,â Val sidled up and leaned down, puffing some smoke in Voxâs face, snaking an arm around his waist, âlead you astray...â
Notes: Surprisingly cute and funny! Vox fails epically at roleplay and it is hilarious.
riding out the drop by spoondrifts
Summary: Like heâd said before, killing Alastor was Voxâs kink, not his. He had been prepared to sit back and enjoy the temporary chaos until Vox got over himself.
What he hadnât accounted for was the possibility that Vox was exactly as obsessive, bitter, and desperate for Alastorâs acknowledgement now as he had been seven years ago. Distance hadnât made the heart grow fonder: distance had made a highly detailed revenge scrapbook complete with a conspiracy corkboard done up in red string.
Or: Valentino gets fed up with Vox's fixation on the radio demon. They fuck about it.
Notes: Features (sex favorable) asexual!Vox! :D (I lowkey headcanon him as ace ever since the "better than sex" comment)
Featherstone by spoondrifts
Summary: âTo me,â Vox told the baby, âit seems like bad parenting to leave your helpless kid for a whole month with two unstable psychopaths and their parole officer. But hey. Who am I to judge.â
No intelligent reply was forthcoming.
Or: not-so accidental baby acquisition, starring the three least responsible idiots this side of the Pentagram.
Notes: Big Vees as family vibes. Wish so desperately this was canon.
vark attack by tarltonnnnn
Summary: Valentino has to petsit Vark for a day. Chaos ensues.
Notes: Written before season 1 release. Vark is a big dumb (and very cute) baby.
Unplugged by pinkpunchy
Summary: Vox looks like heâs going to vomit. Valentino frowns.
âFor the one who suggested this, youâre being a real pussy.â
âFuck you! Just give me a sec.â Vox spits out, muttering darkly as he adjusts his shoulders on the pillows, trying to arrange his body for the moment he loses all function. Valentino, despite his impulsive nature, waits patiently. His manicured nails drag along the spot where cable and port connect, thumb smoothing up and down the flat surface surrounding it. Voxâs breath is coming faster now, not slower, something Valentino is tuned into as naturally as his own breathing.
âHey.â
A large hand grasps a corner of Voxâs screen, tilting it up and putting an immediate stop to his fidgeting. Valentino smiles, red eyes narrowed to slits.
âDo you trust me?â
Notes: Sex as a...trust exercise? Lol I'm joking, but seriously. Sweet and hot at the same time.
Electric Desires: Lust, Power, and Unspoken Longings in Hell by Dani69696969
Summary: Vox is starting to get fed up with Angel Dust being the only thing Val talks about when Vox is right there, ripe for the taking. Inspired by Vox looking happy that Angel might have quit in Episode 2.
Notes: Very sweet. Plot with porn. :)
The Art of Pimping by MarenRose
Summary: Desperate to close a deal with one of the most lucrative investors in Pride, Vox does the unthinkable and pimps out Valentino for a one-time date. What could go wrong?
Notes: Vox's jealousy and possessiveness really brings out his stalker side in this lmao. Vox is a little pathetic and that makes his jealousy all the more funny to me. :D
Welcome to VoxTek Enterprises! by MarenRose
Summary: Subsequently, Valentino, of all people, has become the officeâs saving grace.
(A series of VoxVal ficlets through the eyes of Voxâs assistant)
Notes: Pretty funny! Vox's assistants are really going through it. One of the tags is "Imagine being happy to see Valentino" lol.
(Fic rec list to be continued)
50 notes
¡
View notes
Text
You know what itâs been a criminally long time since I posted on this account?
Grishaverse text posts I made based on things my friends and I have actually said. In real life.
(Part 30??? Something like that)
*in the library in between lectures*
Jesper: Weâll really do anything to avoid work, wonât we?
Nina: I wanna contest that but Iâm literally posting on ao3 right now
I was Nina; whoâs surprised? This was back when I was writing dotras btw and I update this quote book pretty often I just forgot to post for agessss
Inej: Spiders are pretty cute tbh
Jesper: no spiders are so scary for no reason like what on earth do u need EIGHT legs for other than to attack me
Wylan: my mum is like âoh its probably scared of you bcs its smaller than youâ WELL THEN WHY IS IT COMING SO CLOSE TO ME
Jesper: AND THEY HAVE LOADS OF EYES AS WELL LIKE WHAT ARE U LOOKING AT BROOO
Jesper: and they have loads of babies like you canât convince me theyâre not built for world domination
Jesper, reading their quotes in this quote book: Why do I always sound like Iâm on drugs?
Wylan: My first sign that Iâm drunk is always that I can feel it in my head
Jesper: Itâs a liquid!! Itâs in your stomach, Wylan!!!!!
Wylan:
Jesper: Youâre a scientist, Wylan, you should know this
BONUS -
This happened like 2 weeks ago when my sister was visiting
Friend: *says something funny*
Me: Thatâs going in the quote book
My sister: You have a quote book?
Me: Yeah - youâve seen it, itâs the Grishaverse one, I put it on tumblr
Sister: THOSE ARE REAL QUOTES????
Me: ⌠yeah??
Sister: I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST SHIT POSTING
So yeah, in case anyone was wondering, this is not as she put it âsurprisingly creativeâ shit posting; my friends and I have actually said these things Iâm not making it up lmao
#my friends as the grishaverse#six of crows#grishaverse#crooked kingdom#leigh bardugo#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#wylan van eck#jesper fahey#nina zenik#matthias helvar#kanej#wesper#helnik#incorrect quotes#incorrect six of crows#soc incorrect quotes#grishaverse incorrect quotes#save the grishaverse#save six of crows#six of crows spin off#six of crows spinoff
39 notes
¡
View notes
Text
This is so off topic but i really want to write a time travel fic of someone twst. Like an actual multichapter one not just the oneshot with silver and sebbie (and yuu) I blame the actual sebek time travel fic i read before i made it to book 7 And i blame the fact i had a dream where sebek had time traveled and like he was doing stuff to undo things and he got caught and they were waiting for him to explain and it was tense and somehow he ended up pretending to be asleep to get out of it and also did i forget to mention that I was sebek and it felt so real that for a few minutes i was just sitting there in bed still pretending to be asleep waiting for someone to leave and then slowly was trying to think like â..this doesnt feel likeââ cause sebek was like leaning on liliaâs shoulder ????? or something like that and i realized WAIT that was just a DREAM
Its wild. Like. there was this person who was like trying to get sebbie to stop threateningly like âi have a criminal recordâ and he kept repeating it and its just aAAA (as in they arent afraid to get violent D:) IDK it felt like there was like some war going on in the background with lilia and malleus and some horrible thing was going to happen that sebek wanted to stop
And so it was in the library with something something secret passage that led to like 3 glowing blue balls (HAHA BALLS) on top of like a cushion in a box and i cant remember wtf they did just that they were important. I cant remember if it was a bad thing or not. I think that probably came from LoCF influence cause of the thing in the library crossman curse thingy whatever i forgot
But so it was really nerve wracking.
And i remember reading this fic with general lilia having a twin and it was started because the person writing it had dreams of it. And i was like woah thats cool. I dont think id have dreams like that but id like to.
HAHA i jinxed myself like months later cause wtf it felt weirdly real even though its nothing like my irl life. Like usually i get tricked because its taking place in locations ive been to before (i once had a dream i had a cat and i felt so sad because i didnt have one irl) but NOPEÂ
Anyway idk where silver was but it was strongly implied that it was in the past past like general lilia type past except malleus existed then too
Idk why sebek was there (or why i was sebek ??? i think i just got huge brainrot rfom that sebek time travel fic tbh)
but so . i was so hesitant to say something about it bc idk it felt weird so i sat on this for 4 days but weirdly enough i still remember a good chunk of it like the many details i just didnt write down originally
..i feel like this is a sign i should write it. i just wish i knew what the balls were for đ. i mean i think it was bad because the library was implied to be like in like their home or base right?? and he was trying to take it away. but he was gonna touch it with his bare hand idk dream logic causing dumb shit im pretty sure they're magical balls.
anyway i cant remember if he managed to get them or if he got caught or how?? did he get caught in the act? i mean how else would they be suspicious???
in the first place why are they not suspicious of him being there
like
like
did he somehow bullshit his way in there
like okay JP spoilers (i think it'll appear in the NEXT main story update on EN)
like how he was like describing to baur his grandpa (who is baur btw but baur doesnt know it i dont think?) and like how hes half fae and baur acknowledging him as one of them and is like 'well for all i know you could be a zigvolt' and like being accepting and its just like shfuisdhfuisehdij
but so anyway that worked so idk maybe it works for them. idfk what excuse he made up
aughhhh why do i have to have brainrot over this when im trying to write something else tho
#dream#dream journal#twst#twisted wonderland#thoughts#twst wonderland#twst book 7#time travel#time travel au#sebek zigvolt
9 notes
¡
View notes
Text
pumkin speaks: sighh. im so sorry for diappearing (again) for so long. i've been having such a hard time with motivation for...literally everything. i'm trying to get back into the swing of things so i'm hoping to be able to get something out soon. i've honestly been trying so hard and i just...haven't been able to do much of anything for the last few months. i got burned out on everything that i enjoy, including writing. but i've been feeling better as of late (though i'm still working on some personal issues that i honestly wish i didn't need to work on). thank you to everyone who's been so patient, i promise i'll keep trying đŤśđŤś
now that the more depressing part is out of the way, i thought i'd give you a little update on what i've been watching! i think last i updated y'all, i was still watching tokyo revengers? i'm all caught up with it now and it's in my list of who i write for. i also watched banana fish (totally cried) but i don't think i'm gonna write for it, lmk if y'all would like to see it and i'll rethink it fs. i'm also all caught up with wind breaker - i watched it as it was coming out. i'm thinking about writing for it, so i might update my list soon. i watched paradox live, and i think i miiight write for a few characters - tbh i wasn't a huge fan of it, esp the ending, but i fw the characters heavy. i finally watched solo leveling which i think was reallyyy good. i think i'm gonna write for sung (shocking). i also watched blue lock but being so honest, i did NOT like it i fear. so sorry to any blue lock fans out there but i was watching it for a friend and it genuinely felt like a chore...i did quite like a few characters but idk if i should write for them. ig i'll think on it some more. *edit bc i completely forgot to mention i'm currently watching one piece đđ i just started alabasta arc like 2 days ago - i'm on ep 97 currently. it's so good omg. i might write for it once i feel like i have a better read on the characters so maybe look forward to that?
anyways, thank you so much for being patient! i will be trying to write soon. i'll also probably update my list over the next few days so be on the lookout fs. if y'all want, i'd be super happy to get some requests and i'm sure that would motivate me a whole lot. anyways, this is getting long so i'll sign off here. thank you for reading! happy scrolling, and have a nice day!
#pumkin speaks#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers#banana fish x reader#banana fish#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker#paradox live x reader#paradox live#solo leveling x reader#solo leveling#x reader#blue lock#blue lock x reader#one piece#one piece x reader
11 notes
¡
View notes
Note
*gasp* I've been curious about those people for quite the long time! But I'm way more curious about their backstories
1. Donna â Why's her surname redacted? At some point she had to be saved by Mr. B, who apparently set several hits on people that would angst Donna enough to go behind her back to do it.
She has several cops in her family, which must be important enough? Mr. B is with her birth certificate though... Maybe she had to be saved from her family and those hits were them.
Why not even the Angels can have something like her surname? And specially Finney who is her childhood friend, why he had to beg Mr. B.
2. Robin â Logically, it makes sense his mom is hiding, she's the mother of a influential mob boss, and it's canon that his dad it's dead. You said that her reaction to Finn would be a spoiler... I wonder if his uncle would make any more appearances?
I still wonder what that murder about Mrs. Rosella was about. I'm DYING to know how he met Vance and Billy "connected through whores and spa nights".
The Arellano cloak passed to him just after his dad died? How old was he? 10? Why his uncle or some other important mafioso took it?
3. Lenny â Once I asked Lenny's intentions before the revamp. You said that he was good, and was very enamored by Griff and was found of him. Of all the coworkers he's the one given the most importance, does he have any other purpose other than being kinda an obstacle for Billy and a friend to Griffin?
Who IS the spy that helped Billy? Maybe a crazy thought but what if it's him, and that's why he so nervous, specially around Bill and Griff. (Getting anxious when Griff asked if he was taking him to second location and all that) Why couldn't he just report Showalter for harassment? I don't know, he always seemed a little off. If he's working for Billy than it makes sense that he's scared of him and for Griffin. I'm probably overthinking it.
4. Billy â I have so many questions. Apparently he has PARENTS NOW? Wasn't he in foster care? Well, but he never mentioned being orphan, maybe his home life was very unstable, or his parents are already in the crime scene and that's why he was taken away from him...
The whole warehouse boy thing? What that has to do with him and why does it evoke so many emotions (sadness, anger, etc), it's been years. Certainly he killed the boy, but why take the heart if he's only a experiment? WHY IS HE AFRAID OF BLOOD? Okay, it can be a he thing, but afraid of blood in this line of work? Weird.
5. Mr B â He's a creature, I don't personally like him, but that's more because he's a billionaire lol. We haven't been given a lot of him screen time, but I assumed he once was a special agent too? Because Bosley joked that he was like the Angels that didn't knew how to do report?
When was Red Eyes created? What does he get out of it? He cares for the Angels but not enough to instantly take them out of the mission if something is about to go wrong...
6. Charlie â He's wholesome until now, I want to know his history with Griffin, some time ago before the revamp you said that he's a big part of Griff's life and past. We know just some basics things about how he contacted the Angels. I'm so curious to see his POV in the fic. How he landed the job? What are his personal thoughts?
Sorry for the long rant and for bombarding you with questions... I'm just excited for tomorrow/today/maybe not tomorrow updates! I probably had more questions but I forgot them with time, thanks for reading take lots of care <3
1. Her surname was redacted because she simply requested it. She didnât feel like having it be knowledge within the RE & she never bothered to tell anyone why; Mr. B had his own reasons for hiding it though, mostly to do with the hits he stashed away in his office.
2. Mrs. Arellano đ you guys r gonna love her I promise!! the Mrs. Rosella case DOES get solved before the last chapter, bc i refuse to leave that unsolved. it started this whole thing n itâs gonna end this whole thing!!
also, yes Robinâs dad died when he was ten but he actually didnât take on the mantle until 15âwhich is the age most of the Arellano men (or women) take over.
3. Lenny is just a silly little guy I love himđ but no heâs not Billyâs spy thatâs a surprise that I think you guys are gonna like actually !
4. billy has foster parents yes! not his bio parents but his parents regardless!
warehouse boy was an unfortunate accident i fear n it definitely sparked his fear of blood. he was 17 n a little⌠obsessive.
5. Mr. B was once an agent! Although the Red Eyes is now full of younger agentsâback in its conception, he was an Agent who amassed money to become a billionaire. Now, instead of an Agent, he is their prime beneficiary and director. The Red Eyes was established in 1967 but it took until 1987 for them to gain notoriety within governments and world leaders across the globe. In all honestyâheâs just keeping tradition alive. Doing good, doing jobs, investigative work too. Money (and spies) make the world go âround. Plus what billionaire wouldnât want an army of elite agents?
6. Charlie worked his way through the ranks at the FBI! Very hardworking. In the revamp he is still a big part of Griffinâs life and he is so beloved. Although he doesnât have a POV until the very end đ but he loves his boys!!
and thank u for the questions they make my heart fullđĽšđŤśđ˝
4 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Good morning, may i make a request?
Capt. Spaceboy x reader cuddling/affection headcannons.
If you're not too busy that is. Now have a great day!
cw: none
reader info: they/them, no gendered terms used
notes: ofc!! i really should get to my other requests soon tbf but i've adopted a new post theme and im way too lazy atm to make more banners like this space boyfriend one. and you have a good day too anon! (update bc i wrote this note like several months ago: not me writing halkenna all cute and wholesome all the time as if i dont (affectionately, i love him with my whole heart) headcanon him as not actually being a great partner long term help LMAO)
SPACE BOYFRIEND CUDDLING / AFFECTION HCS
this funny little space guy is really big on physical affection so woah ur really in for a lot here
he's pretty clingy, and likes to cuddle whenever possible and whenever you're comfortable
watching a film? cuddling. playing games? cuddling. reading? cuddling.
the type of guy to hug you from behind if you're stood up doing something (like cooking etc), and to be happy for you to do the same with him
his favourite like cuddling thing though is when you're both in bed or on a couch etc and you're cuddling and talking and, that's just it, you're not doing anything else, it's just the both of you laying in each others arms having a little chat and maybe ending up taking a little nap
he especially enjoys this if he knows you've had a stressful day; of course, he loves it when he's had a stressful day and later the two of you have a little cuddle/talk/nap, but there's just something about knowing that he's doing something to help you to relax after a bad day that he really loves
in terms of general affection- i mean he literally adores it. he'll be affectionate with you like it's nothing but the moment you return it he's reacting as if you've just got down on one knee and proposed
hand holding? absolutely. literally almost whenever it's practical; walking together, going somewhere out with friends, i had more examples but i forgot how to word any of them help
i also think he'd really like giving and receiving little kisses, like specifically kisses on the cheek, forehead, back of the hand, etc, usual kisses have their benefits but there's something so wholesome and lovely to him about those other types of kisses
halkenna is also affectionate in non-physical ways, such as loving words, usually portrayed through him writing songs for you, i feel like sometimes he's just so overwhelmed by how much he loves you and all the things he wants to tell you about how much he cares and how lovely he thinks you are, and all the things he loves about you (practically everyth-) so it's a lot easier for him to sort it out in song lyrics that take more time instead of just outright telling you. i think i might have already said that in my alphabet headcanons but oh well
though sometimes he can be a little too, perhaps concerningly affectionate, remind him you need personal space sometimes pls he's not doing it on purpose. probably
#omori#captain spaceboy#halkenna fairway#space ex husband#space ex boyfriend#space boyfriend#space boyfriend x reader#captain spaceboy x reader#omori headcanons
53 notes
¡
View notes
Text
20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thank you for tagging me @revolutionsoftheheart! đ
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
230
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,851,307
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently: SVU (EO), MCU/Marvel (Steggy), Once Upon a Time (OQ) (shut up, i'm calling it current bc I intend to continue, I've just been taking a little break....)
Over the course of my fandom life: Battlestar Galactica (Lee/Kara), Private Practice (Charlotte/Cooper), CSI:Miami (Calleigh/Eric), and if you count all the writing I did in notebooks during my teenage years Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel: The Series (Buffy/Angel, Buffy/Spike, Angel/Darla).
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Couches (SVU)
Breaking In (Once Upon a Time) (** This one would absolutely have the top spot if the OQ fandom had made the shift to Ao3 sooner. Baker's Dozen would probably be in the top 5 as well, so... honorable mention. lol)
Lip Service (SVU)
Convalescence (SVU)
Mistakes Were Made (SVU)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I used to respond to every single comment, years and years ago. Now I am terrible at responding to comments, for a number of reasons. 1) I just don't have the spoons I used to have, and oftentimes I will start out replying to all the comments and then the day will pass and the next day I maybe don't have the time/energy for it, and then I worry people will think I'm intentionally ignoring their comments, which I am very much not, so I kind of adopted an "if I can't get to everybody, I just shouldn't do anybody" mentality which is probably not the greatest and I am trying to work on... 2) I tend to keep the tab open for my latest fic/update for a day or two to see what comments roll in but then after that, I close the tab and I forget the inbox on Ao3 actually exists so I'm reliant on my email alerts to know when there's a new comment, and I don't check that email every day so sometimes it's dayssss after someone leaves a comment on a not-quite-brand-new work before I see it. And then I feel like I've accidentally left it too late? 3) I feel like I should have more to say than just replying to everyone with "Thanks!", or I feel bad when I have more to say to some reviews than that (because they ask a question, are more specific about something, etc.) but then reply to some of the others with only "Thanks!" Like I feel like the people who just get "thanks!" are gonna feel like I don't value their reviews as much as the people who get a longer response, and then they'll feel bad or like they wasted their effort reviewing and then I'll feel bad bc that is very much not the case. (See above re: "if I can't do it for everyone, I'll just do it for no one.") This is the (one and only) downside to me of the Ao3 comment reply format vs. FFNet review replies -- I LOVE that the Ao3 comments format lends itself better to conversation, but the FFnet review replies went to people's DMs so nobody knew if they got a "Thanks!" on this one and someone else got a paragraph. 4) I feel like it pads the Comment count? Like it looks like the work got double the response that it did, it feels a little like I'm cheating? So in summary, I have Comment reply anxiety, clearly lol. But I love receiving everyone's comments, and I hoard each and every one like a dragon with their treasure, and I appreciate everyone who takes the time to leave one. Maybe in 2024 I should make it a goal to reply to all of them idk...
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Mmmmm.... Hexes, maybe? I was scrolling down the OUAT fic memory lane last night and hit OQ Angst Week, that had some doozies. Maybe Sing A Song of Forgetting, that one was rough.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Baker's Dozen, probably. (Which, fun fact -- I put the OG version back up on Ao3 a few years back "temporarily" and then forgot to take it down, so if you have that and the published book version, now you can compare, I guess đ)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not much these days, but I have a few times in the past. The one I got the most hate on is actually not on Ao3 because when I moved over my Private Practice fics from FFnet, I didn't move anything incomplete that I wasn't expecting to finish. But it was a Charlotte King fic that dealt with her fiance coming back into her life (before we actually met him on the show) while she and Cooper were broken up, and I was very clear that it was a Charlotte fic not so much a CharCoop fic, but oooooh people were mad that there was a love triangle going on and it was unclear who she was gonna end up with. LIVID. FURIOUS. That's the fic that made me turn off anon reviews for the first time bc I had someone who would just troll me with hate reviews and blow up my DMs. It was a time....
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Indeed, and pretty much... whatever's clever. lol I need more specifics on the last question.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Not really, no.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes! Someone swiped a chunk of one of my EO fics and reused it like word for word (with the names changed, obvs) in their Jopper fic this summer! And someone linked me to it and I blew up their Comments section on the chapter and they deleted their entire internet presence, it was wild.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, because every time someone asks me for permission to translate one, I say no, bc I am very protective of my work. lol I don't like not being able to vet the translation and know that it comes across the way I want it to. I've talked in the past about having a friend of mine do a Spanish translation of Baker's Dozen, but she literally does translation for a living and she's so familiar with my writing and my writing process (and I'm so familiar with hers) that I can trust the end result would be what I'd want it to be. Also, in my experience, folks who want to translate my work also want to repost it somewhere themselves, and I haaaaaaate that. I'm a control freak about my work, I want it to be where I want it and have control over the managing of it at all times. (I get annoyed when people repost my work to other fic archives/collections, or have it bound in print for themselves, etc. I don't like that. What if I want to go back and change something? Just leave it where I posted it and link back to there, please and thank you!)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, but never to completion.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship? It's like choosing between children, I can't.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
If Every Road Led Back Home (the aforementioned Charlotte King fic). Everything else, I am still convinced I'll finish it someday. lol (But if we were gonna be less optimistic than that, What Happens in Vegas, and L'ĂŠbauche probably)
16. What are your writing strengths?
Porn with feelings. lol Sex scenes with what I call "heightened realism" -- it's probably consistently better sex than real-world sex, but never so much that it seems implausible or too exaggerated, and I like to include little mishaps, or imperfections, or the real things that often get skipped over (hey condoms, hey lube, hey peeing after sex) because when you've been writing sexy fanfic for two decades, quite frankly it's boring when it's perfect and shiny every time. I have a Steggy fic planned for sometime this year that is basically "their sex life has one consistent and inconvenient obstacle and here's all the ways that works out (and sometimes doesn't work out) for them." I haven't flexed my angst muscles in a while, but I used to absolutely love writing stuff that wrecked people until they were yelling at me in the comments. I miss doing that.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Rampant abuse of grammar (I know I'm doing it, I just don't care), overuse of the word "just", and too many parentheticals. Also knowing when to stop. I will use 18 words when 3 would do, and I can very easily write myself into the weeds instead of staying on target and writing every scene with intent toward a goal. (Hi, Breaking In.) Also, finishing things. (Hello again, Breaking In, and every other unfinished WIP both on Ao3/FFnet and in my Google Docs graveyard.)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
If it fits the fic, absolutely, but only a language I can find a native speaker to check and correct for me before I post it. I don't wanna be the one out here with the wonky Google Translate French that makes people who can actually read the language cringe.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Technically, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The first fanfic I ever published on the internet was a Spuffy fic that is now lost to the ages because it was on some fic archive that no longer exists, but I did a lot of pen-and-paper BtVS fanfic writing in middle and high school.
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
I'm gonna go with Breaking In, because it's my baby. My Beast. The big guy. My Everest. And also Baker's Dozen because it's Baker's Dozen.
tagging in a no-pressure way (and sorry for any double tags): @goodthingscomeinthrees @behindthelabels @rahleeyah @roboticonography @doctorhelena @lyricalviolet @audreysl0ve @ninzied @somuchwhatever and anyone else who wants to do it!
11 notes
¡
View notes
Text
âźď¸jort 2 update because its been nearly 2 weeks and hes been through a lotâźď¸
kinda annoyingly long so its under the cut
ok so jort 2 was doing fine till i had loads of art hw for gcse (help) and so i did that and ignored all of jort 2's cries for help. then after that to reward myself for finishing like one (1) evaluation bc i wasnt feeling motivated i played slime rancher for 2-3 hours maybe (side rant i love my slimes theyre so silly<333 my favourites are the honey and plant ones because when they merge theyre so pretty<33 i also love phosphor slimes and i need to make a lantern of them for my room or something because i should start a shrine)
anyway.
so jort 2 was sick and i didnt cure him in time and he started beeping like the heart rate monitors do as someones heart is slowing which i feel is a little morbid but he died. i think i apologised on my last post in the notes
the caption aged badly but yeah
so i needed name ideas and luckily his death presented the perfect opportunity as @moon-inspector suggested jelly so thank you<3
then i lost the tamagotchi.
id taken him out when i went in town with my friends a couple of times and i thought he might have fallen out of my tote bag next to a bench and i was really upset because he was ÂŁ20 and also he was really cool (and also i lost something and was about to cry but fear of crying in public saved međĽđĽđĽđĽ) so i was sad :c
then me and my family went to the countryside and i got to do hiking which is super epic and i touched so much grass and lo and behold who was in my coat pocket but jort 2 himself (technically his corpse) but i found him yay
then my friend taught me how to mute him because one time he woke me up at night and while trying to do that i accidentally hatched one but because i wasnt intending to he kinda died (that wasnt jelly tho that was jort 2.5 because i want to give jelly a long and fulfilling life)
so that concludes the adventures of jort in the past 2 weeks ish where i forgot/ couldnt be bothered to update bc i had other things to do (watching youtube videos)
ill probably hatch jelly like tomorrow
4 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Helloooo defend in place/mayday anon :) sad to report I did not finish my s4+s5 watch/rewatch this weekend (tall task in hindsight plus anirudh tweets dropped right before I was about to start jinx of all episodes lol) BUT I did finish up to 5x10 which means I got to defend in place yayyy! General s5 thoughts 1. Watched ghost stories for the first time and its not nearly as bad as I thought it would be (although 618 and 710 didnt exist when this seemed to be consensus worst ep. So). I get how this ep might be hard to watch on a weekly basis but its pretty fine while binging and also features crucial henren/karen lore like ⌠also noooo way chim really said he was going to bring buck near death, revive him with his paramedic skills and then kill him. Did the writers know. Lmao. 2. Taylor kelly stuff is not nearly as bad as I remember it from what I had watched. Its just painfully obvious her and buck should be friends and not even because their physical chemistry is outright bad just their dynamic feels super friend-ish. And they put all that development time into taylor when they should have developed bucktaylor instead, like how karen was developed after henren, for example. Bucktaylor ily scene still hits like nails on a chalkboard though. God forbid we have to live through something like that again 3. Ravi deadass in every episode. When will my sweet prince return in this capacity 4. Forgot about athena hitting harry :( definitely one of the things that I had issues with from before and was just as shocked now as before like why did that need to happen :(
Okay okay NOW defend in place thoughts !!!!!! I really really liked it, definitely a top 3 s5 episode for me probably (the other 2 I really love are 5x11 and 5x12). Michael/grant family proposal montage⌠genuinely top (fun) montage in the show. Up there with jinx and stuck/chris and poker date montages imo it was so cute. And while I really loved the ep the whole time I was like damn we were robbed of david content so bad đđđ he was so good in this ep and the s4 michael bobby ep like I just want more I cant believe weâll never see him again. Okay and the ravi lore. Im going to be honest I spent years thinking the ravi cancer child thing was fanon/ravi begins spec LMAO like I saw gifs of that ravi hen scene a few weeks ago and was like damn⌠that lore is canonđ but yay I wish the show would just once expand on his lore beyond surface level. And the defend in place call was so good although I will say it was giving greys anatomy massively though. Before I kinda wished the show would have done more with david/hen dr stuff but honestly after this Im glad it didnt bc I swear Ive watched this exact stuff happen in greys before lol. But yeah overall what a great send off for michael like so good. On my first watch years ago I was always kind of like okay michael is fun but he doesnt really get to contribute to the main part of the show much outside of being a dad and in that sense I always found his character a bit weak/neglible. But now on this watch Im like why didnt they give us more of this michael!! Copaganda aside, The athena team up when theyre searching for harry was so good and it was probably when I started thinking damn this cast is really missing rockmund in recent seasons. But at least they went this direction with the send off, if theres one thing you can trust 911 for its an eventual happy ending. (And also side note. Amidst the summer of bpreg and domesticverse some of the scene in this episode had me really in my feels. Yay)
hiiiiii bestie!!!!!!! thank you for updating me!!! i also did not watch 5a live (started the show the january between 5a & 5b) so i'm in agreement with you on the fact that it's really not a bad half season when binged!! i can understand the frustration of watching it live though. also ravi being in every episode omg......we used to have it all....(totally forgot about that athena and harry shit too wtf...)
OK YAY DEFEND IN PLACE!!! idk if you saw but i ALSO rewatched it this week (partially in your honor and partially to fulfill the summer of buddie self-care prompt). I have SUCH a soft spot for david, we really don't get to see much of him but i loved their meet cute, loved him in there goes the neighborhood and he's just!!! ugh!!! super hot and so sweet and such a good partner to michael.
lol I've never seen grey's anatomy but i can def see that...anyway yay i'm glad you enjoyed the episode. on my rewatch it really hit home for me how much the episode was grant-nash focused (like you said, with the fun little proposal montage) and it made me realize how much i really do miss them. Looking back, part of what really drew me into the show in s2 was all the family stuff--Buck and Maddie first & foremost (also Eddie & Chris), but also definitely the Grants and how they navigated adding Bobby to their family. It was such a good storyline and they really continued to showcase how special their family is through the next couple seasons!!!
anyway thanks for updating me, let me know how the rest of s5 goes (esp May Day!) đŤĄ
4 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Hello, I first saw your comics on tapastic. I was just today going thru all my subscriptions to cull out the ones that haven't updated in a while and weren't memorable enough for me to remember a single detail of. I found yours and was abruptly reminded of how much I loved your content. I'm a bit too busy now to really immerse myself in what you've got going on anymore, but I'm really glad to see you're still around. I can't honestly say I remember any of the comics you posted bc I was not my best self at the time, but I can say they meant a lot to me. Anyways, the point of this message is to thank you for being a relatable voice when I needed one. I'm really glad to see you're still around and that you've got things that you find enjoyable enough to blog about.
Hey man that's great, I'm glad you remember me! I feel like I can say the same about me making the at the time comics as well, I went through a few years absolutely hating that comic and what it represented because I made it as a way to cope with.. honestly, being a teenager. I really didn't like who I was and that comic was like a great summation of my being at the time.
(read more cause woof i talk alot!)
I'm just skimming through it because I pretty much forgot what I've even made. Like Holy Shit I made 117 comics? I think it holds up okay, it's pretty normal relatable humour though a bit dated. I think i definitely could have been a little weirder with it, though at one point I did try to do something meta with it (chickened out though, it was just way past my skill level). It all just screams of being a teenager, and that level of sincerity would make anyone cringe.
I think it's wild to me how willing i was to share my life to the world like that when I was so riddled with anxiety and sadness. Can't say I'm free of that still but I'm working through it, and I still stand by the last update I posted to that comic. .. Though I'd cut back on how many jokes i'd make to mask my fear this time. I still really love comics, narratives and characters! Though I've not been very good at sharing them lately haha but I promise I'm still chipping away at them. This is probably a very strange time to mention but I set up a Patreon recently, though I haven't gotten around to announcing it formally. But I have a short comic up in there I did for school! Of course if you don't feel like subscribing, I also have it as a one time purchase on gumroad as well :)
One more thing I'd like to say is that the timing of this ask is pretty crazy, cause I was just thinking of doing a retrospective. Just the general reflecting on art school and just looking back on what being nonbinary means to me and I guess YLNB as a whole. Though it's probably too soon to reflect on the latter haha, I'm probably going to wait another 3 more years.
Anyway thank you for reading and sticking around! I hope you're in a better place anon, I know things are rough in the world but I promise that there's good things too! If you'd like to support me I have Kofi and as previously mentioned a fresh new Patreon (wow!) I'm also on youtube where you can find some of my animations and though I've never mentioned it I'm drawing a rabbit (well, lagomorph but its been bunny central lately) a day @dailylagomorphs! We're about the half way point so you can spend half your year looking at all those little guys.
Additionally! my commissions are open! if you want to buy a funny little drawing from me
9 notes
¡
View notes
Note
i started writing an ask and then forgot about it so i'm starting again. also this is for the godly cabin assignment đź oh and i'm not updated on redacted since hush's first video so if any of these characters changed majorly since then i don't know about it yet and these are not based off any recent stuff
kins
darlin'- bc yes. near all of it. that's me
sam- we show care the same way (sass) (but like also really genuine). also we both are healer types of people
sweetheart- i would also have panic attacks about my career and future and then bully/j milo just for fun. and i heavily relate to having invisibility powers bc im one of those people who can stand in a room for ten minutes and still spook people when i make a noise bc they didn't notice me there before
avior-sarcasm doesn't stop just because we're in hellđŞ
geordi- inner monologue twins
faves
sam
milo
imp! vega and vega idk why
also honorary mentions, they're not quite my favorites but also they kinda are idk. i love and lightheartedly hate them
david- he is almost cool except for his chronic hater attitude like how do you hate minecraftđ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨đ¤¨âď¸red flag. i disagree with him on instinct at this point
gavin- i am literally sex repulsed asexual and lesbian so idk how this happened but i love gavin. but i feel like we'd be the type of friends who end up fighting in the parking lot for no reason anytime we see eachother and then act like nothing happened afterwards
oooo another fun mix!
(Click here for info on the Cabin Matches)
Once again, breaking down what I see:
Darlin': Ares
Sam: Apollo who joined the Hunters of Artemis
Sweetheart: Athena
Avior: Athena by default unless I think of something later
Geordi: Aphrodite. hesitantly. because i can't think of anything else and I don't listen to Geordi all that much.
This is why this is interesting because this is genuinely a pretty even spread of the gods. Hold please while I mull this over.
I'm putting you in Ares. For now. Mainly because a lot of what I'm thinking contradicts itself. The runner-up would probably be Aphrodite, but I'm not 100% on that.
3 notes
¡
View notes