#grishaverse incorrect quotes

[padfoot-lupin77]

(This might have been done before but I just saw these text posts with Nancy and Steve from ST and I just had to make this)

[honeyxmonkey]

Kaz: The thing about Wylan is that he's smart enough to play dumb, and pretty enough so everyone believes it.

Wylan: :]

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

There’s an alternate universe where Kaz has very different coping mechanisms and just blurts out his life story in random nonsensical bursts like Phoebe in Friends, and I’m imagining it looking something like this

Kaz: Give him a break, it’s hard being on your own for the first time

Wylan: Thank you

Kaz, cheerily: I remember when I first came to the Barrel. I was nine; my father was dead and we’d just been conned out of all our money, and I ended up living behind a bunch of old of crates for a while with my brother before we caught the Queens Lady Plague and he died, and then I joined the Dregs and found these guys - so I totally get what you’re going through

Wylan: 😯😧😨

Jesper: the word you’re looking for is… anyway,

[sparklewrites1]

Inej: I have a question.

Nina: Shoot.

Inej: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Matthias: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Nina: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Inej: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Matthias: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Jesper: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Matthias: Jesper is not allowed to talk anymore.

[grishaverse-said]

Nina: Okay, maybe playing ‘whose family is the most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea. Wylan's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out…

[five-of-cr]

crows textpost: part idek anymore ft. ships

[ladymarvel27]

Kaz: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.  Kaz: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Kaz, picking Jesper and Wylan up from the stadwatch cells: Weird choice for date night.

Jesper: Where did you take Inej last weekend?

Kaz: That wasn't-

Jesper: Where?

Kaz: *incoherent mumbling*

Wylan, who just wants to go home: Louder.

Kaz, groaning: I took Inej on an excursion to the tunnels under Ketterdam.

Jesper: Tunnels?

Kaz, muttering: Sewers.

Jesper: That's all I wanted.

[multifandomconfusion]

Nina: If I was a gardener I'd put out two-lips together.

Matthias, blushing: ...Nina

Wylan: Why can't we be like that?

Jesper: If I was a gardener you'd be my hoe.

Wylan: Fuck you.

[iunderstoodthatreference7]

Meanwhile, in Ketterdam…

Inej: Kaz! Did you kill that stadwatch guard!?

Kaz: when?

Inej: …this week

Kaz: Wednesday?

Inej: no, it was on Tuesday

Kaz: then no, I didn’t

Inej:

Inej:

Inej: so. What were you doing on Wednesday?

[nine-is-not-a-ten]

kaz: WAKEY WAKEY LEGS TO BREAKY

inej: babe its three am

[lilisouless]

"Are you a couple?"

Matthias: We are not a couple

Jesper: Matty-poo! are you embarassed of me? I thought we were over this

Matthias: He is joking

Jesper: Now you are gasligthing? Whats wrong with you? You said you loved me. Well, if you are so sure on denying our love, you won't mind if i go and make out with the hot ginger over there waving at us

Matthias: Jesper-

Jesper: Oh! and now i am "Jesper" , yesterday i was "sugar bunny" but things change, apparently

"How insensitive"

Matthias: oh boy

---

"Are you dating?"

Matthias: no-

Inej: What?! NO! nononono! ew-

Matthias: ew?

Inej: no way! no, no no no no no no...

Matthias: alright, maybe mrs Kaz Brekker shouldn't be so judgy

---

"Are you boyfriend?"

Matthias & Kaz: no

"Because we have couples discount"

Kaz: We are married

Matthias: what-

Kaz: Neither of us have a ring because we used the money to build our house, we don't need a ring when you have such an intense and passionate love like ours

Matthias: for the love of-

Kaz: us

Matthias: no!

---

"Aww, what a cute couple are you"

Matthias: we are not a couple! what this is always happening to me?

Wylan: Maybe we should stop holding hands so they won't get the wrong idea

Matthias: not yet , they are still cold

---

"Are you a couple?"

Matthias: NO!

Nina: huh?

Matthias: sorry, it´s the habit

[falling-feels-like-flying]

Jesper: *Messaging* Send dudes

Wylan: You mean nudes?

Jesper: I'm in a fight. I need more men.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Wylan, coming home some time post-Crooked Kingdom: Hello, people who do not live here

Nina, Inej, and Kaz: Hi

Wylan: I gave you a key for emergencies

Nina: We were out of Doritos

[kaz-demjin-brekker]

Jesper: *Yawns*

Wylan: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Jesper: Then you must be exhausted.

Kaz: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

[grishaverse-said]

Kaz: You’re the love of my life, I would do anything for you.

Inej: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Kaz: Absolutely not.