#will my dad become less transphobic??

[grinchwrapsupreme]

my dad is the kind of person who makes fun of things (mental illness, gender, sexuality, etc) until he encounters it at a close enough proximity to actually think of it as a real thing at which point he’s totally normal about it forever which means I get the honour of gently guiding him through conversations about Vico Ortiz now that he’s discovered they’re nonbinary in the same way a bull is gently guided out of a grenade-strewn china shop

[bugfeelings]

Kind of interesting that the reactionary movement in australia is becoming increasingly & transparently imported from the us. The number of "fuck joe biden" stickers I see around is a bit crazy considering he's literally doesn't go here???

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

I’m writing this only because I just need to get it out somewhere (ty anon) so don’t mind me I’m just going to over explain myself and go on a rant ;)

so I live in the US and as you may or may not know our election is coming up (and because reasons I’m not allowed to vote)

and assuming you don’t live in the US I’ll give a lil background; one runner, Harris, is feminist, equality, all that stuff and the other, Trump, is kinda opposite, transphobic, homophobic, that type of crowd and if he won he would make a thing called project 2025 that restricts everyone’s right not just queer people’s rights so if I could vote I would vote Harris because I’m queer

Getting to the point: if Harris would become president then I would come out to my parents and if Trump would win I’d stay in the closet so my question is, is it weird that I’m staying or coming out based on the election?

I don’t mind being in the closet (it’s kind comforting if that’s even the right word). I’m genderqueer so I don’t really care how people perceive me but it would be nice to have some other pronouns thrown in there and not just my agab pronouns (also it’s weird because there’s a kid at my school who’s name is my chosen name)

and I know that it’s perfectly safe to come out to my immediate fam or at least my parents (my mom has literally said “your dad and I don’t care about that kind of thing”) but the only reason I don’t is because of the current state of the US and so I just wanted to know your take on whether it’s weird to stay in the closet because of the election (in my opinion I don’t think it is but I want an outsiders take)

tysm for listening my rant. much love!!

Hi!

I live in the US 😅

Honestly I completely get it and it’s so sad that our fate as queer people is so contingent on one election. I definitely understand where you’re coming from. Remember too though, it kind of depends on the state you live in. If Harris wins, some southern/conservative states might still be less safe to be out in, while if Trump wins, some northern/liberal states will still be a little safer.

I hope this helps a bit!

[alexissara]

Trans People Deserve More Then Just Acceptance From Their Parents.

The bar is on the fucking floor for cis people. so many trans people think that having a parent be abusive to them, telling them to be in the closet for X family members sake is "getting lucky" because most the time they are tolerated. The amount of trans people I know who simply accepted actively transphobic abuse or were just forced to live with it because their living situation that had to take years to have their parents become decent is ridiculous. That is where the bar is at so we often say "we're one of the lucky ones" if we're at that level or just slightly better.

We deserve much better than that though. The reality is that many of us have dealt with years of abuse unknown or known with casual and uncasual ways to suppress our gender. From things like passive aggressive remarks to actual physical abuse, it runs the gambit the way parents try to control their children in general. For trans kids this often has a special manifestation in the ways they try to police gender.

I wanna talk about my situation to talk about what I think more parents need to do. On my bad end there is my mom we never had a great relationship but it was one despite my moms flaws I tried to recover. When I came out as trans though I had to go no contact which sucks because I totally lost contract with my much younger sister.

My dad on the other hand was weird about me coming out at first but he accepted it. What happened next is what I think other parents should have to do to hit the bar of being a good parent. Mind you this is an ex military man and a Latino dad. He did research on his own, met other parents of trans kids, he took the time to learn. Then he apologized to me without me prompting it, without me having to bring things up, for the times he insulted me for gender deviance and the times he sat me down about being a real man. He took me to get a Mani Pedi and sat with me and talked with me and actually listened to me.

What my dad did, that should be the bar. He wasn't always the best parent, I loved him always but he at times even got physical, in the way that's excepted by most Latnix households but shit that is none the less traumatizing. Verbally I'd get scared of him some times, he yelled a lot, he had anger issues. The man worked on himself when there was less kids living in his nest though, he got on anger meds, went to therapy, did what he needed to do to become a better man overall. He's not perfect but he is my dad, I love the guy and I actually could forgive him for everything, start healing from all the stuff that he did to me in a major way thanks to him taking the steps to actually make up for shit.

It shouldn't be enough for my mom to call me one day, say "your my daughter and I love you as my daughter", like that isn't enough. It isn't enough to say sorry, it isn't enough to buy me a dress, what I want is the root issues to be fixed and an actual apology process. That is what we all deserve even if our parents were mostly good, we deserve them putting their fucking all into supporting trans people. They could be advocating for trans people to their peers, they should be working on making a better world for their kids. Parents should be able to say they were wrong, that they made mistakes and that they are going to do better.

I think that is the bar for us to have a relationship with our parents, if we can otherwise get away with it I think if they can't reach that bar, they don't deserve you in their lives.

If you like this queer theory stuff from me, giving me cash on Patreon or Ko-fi let's me know, I should probably share more thoughts, but you could also give me money and request I shut up, I'll take that.

[clocks-are-round]

In regards to your post w/ hcs about why they enlisted, maybe Donut enlisted since he's from Iowa and was enlisting since the army would pay for his college tuition? (Obviously dependent on your headcanon of Donut's home life but this would be assuming he grew up on a farm or something)

That’s a reasonable assumption for sure. I want to figure out a reason that alludes to what is known about him in canon, suits his personality, and ideally— is emotionally poignant in a way that adds layers to his characterization and explains why he stuck around and how he’s just as fucked up as the rest of the crew. So in short, it needs to be both likely and compelling.

Example with another character (because I love excuses to ramble about headcanons)

Simmons

- kissass to authority father figure (sarge)

- knows how to code and is viewed as smart (supposedly put in sim troopers due to being annoying and test anxiety rather than having low marks due to lacking knowledge)

- daddy issues (dad wanted him in women’s sports and seemingly didn’t take no for an answer, at least for some time)

- could be interpreted as a trans man and achillean from various lines

Why didn’t he pursue a degree and job in computer science/programming?

My headcanon: Simmons’ father is very traditional, a firm believer in the ideals he was raised with: homophobic, transphobic, and legacy is very important to him. Many women in his family were successful athletes, a few even Olympic level, and he expected this from his child. Though Simmons’ mom was… better at meeting his needs than his father, she was also hard on him and held him to high standards due to image being so important to her. This resulted in a irritable people pleaser with self-worth issues so desperate for validation from his neglectful father that he dropped everything he had worked for in life to risk his life in an attempt to prove himself because Simmons is nothing if not petty.

Reason for enlisting: desperate for validation

If this concept intrigues you, read my fic Dysfunctional on AO3

So following this method, Donut.

- grew up on a farm in iowa

- spent a lot of time repressing thoughts he had on the farm

- loves “feminine” things like decor and fashion, but was too insecure/guarded to really talk much about it towards the beginning (the “lightish red” bit, the seeming change in characterization through the first few seasons) until he warmed up to the team and lowered his guard

- was sent to conversion therapy at one point (came back to write this after writing everything down below but: i think he mentioned his dad here. but i might’ve come up with him to justify it when his mom is sapphic? seems a little weird if so because internalized homophobic mom putting her son through that before coming to terms with it and regretting it as she hypocritically starts dating a woman for the first time. they laugh about it but really both feel the tension that can’t be fully erased. please tell me i had a reason for putting homophobic dad man in the picture when the other option is more compelling PLEASE. ooh if not maybe HE’S the internalized homophobia all along oohhhh EDIT: yes his dad did “send him to a compound” so that part was a thing)

- two moms i misremembered this, it’s more OR less than one mom. the exact quantity of moms was not stated, only assumed by fanon (it’s from a psa but other things in this post are also from dubious canon sources. unless it directly contradicts canon proper in a way i cannot justify, i try to incorporate it)

My headcanon: Donut grew up on a farm with his mom and dad. He always felt like he had a pretty solid relationship with his dad as a kid. Many fond memories of playing catch, and his dad cheering him on at baseball games. As he got older his dad became more hostile about Donut’s other interests, suddenly dress up was a problem. His dad started becoming very vocal to him about what it meant to “be a man” and what needed to stop. Donut was also a theater kid, of course. When he was 15, his dad started sending him to “therapy.” His mom found out after two years of conversion therapy crumpled up the blabbermouth ray of sunshine into a more antsy and withdrawn teen. After about a month of heated parental arguments, his mom divorced his dad. It wasn’t long, months maybe, before she started dating a woman.

This Donut headcanon is rougher than the Simmons one. It hasn’t been considered as deeply and I haven’t cemented it into existence with fics. But there’s a key part that is missing:

Why did Donut enlist? What would be compelling while also cohesive with the character and backstory? As far as I remember he never mentioned college (correct me if I am wrong), or a previous career. Because of this and vibes, I headcanon him as enlisting right out of high school. I could put off the divorce until he’s already in space so that he enlisted to ‘toughen up’ for his dad, but that feels too similar to Simmons’ reason. He could enlist for college funds— but afaik he doesn’t go. Was it a lack of direction? Did he feel uncomfortable with a new person in his life replacing his dad, even if there were conflicting emotions there? Or maybe he wanted the money for a different reason. To help his family? Maybe his dad made a lot of the income before and the farm was falling into disrepair from lack of funds? That one feels close to my Caboose headcanon (wanted to apply to college to get an engineering degree to get a higher paying job than without a degree so he could make enough money for his mom and family to leave his abusive dad; then when the sign ups ended up being for the unsc he just rolled with it) but it’s different enough that I could potentially work with it. So for now, my best theory is feeling a little uncomfortable with the changed family dynamic, wants to help out his mom, and thinks the space marines sound cool (because of course he does). This doesn’t really resonate like the others did though, it doesn’t feel like it adds much depth or has that “that makes so much sense and explains so much!” vibe. I won’t feel confident about it until it feels right, and today just isn’t the day that I solidify my Donut backstory headcanon unfortunately. But that’s okay.

I don’t particularly want suggestions as a follow-up to this, but thought it would be fun to try to explain the subconscious process i go through when coming up with these.

I do appreciate the ask, as it gave me an opportunity to brainstorm as well as ramble for you guys haha

[supersleepyboys]

clark kent is a trans allegory

we were discussing the new my adventures with superman show with our partner and came to the conclusion that this particular version of clark kent is a trans allegory. as opposed to the usual “there are two sides to me” storyline (incredibly plural coded, an entire post on its own), this show seems to be showing clark trying to fit in two lives that he’s uncomfortable fully expressing himself in, in either way, much like the experience of a closeted/stealth trans person.

in one part of his life, as superman, he’s more comfortable openly displaying his powers and doesn’t feel obligated to hide that part of himself, but he does have a deep fear of anyone learning that he has ever been someone else. he is afraid to make personal relationships or share too much about himself, in case someone is able to put things together about his identity. in his day to day life, he’s more able to make relationships with others because he feels less emotionally restricted, and is able to share parts of his past, but is constantly trying to hide his differences (and any evidence of them) from the others. this really reminds us of being trans and trying to present as your preferred gender out while in public, and still being in the closet in some aspect of your personal life, and the fear that can happen if the two cross over. clark essentially has one gender presentation at work, and one as superman, and is desperate to keep those separated worlds from seeing him the other way.

this raises some super interesting plot points too, seeing as lois essentially forcibly outed him this last episode. and by putting so much pressure to put spotlight on him in the newspaper, she was advocating for putting him at risk of people who want to harm him for reasons inherent to his being (that general is also definitely her father, so add a point for “your dad is transphobic so please don’t tell him i was ever a girl” type shit). she has no idea what sort of danger she would be putting him in and simply saw a sensationalized headline, the same as many news publications use queer stories for clicks and sold papers and magazines without regard for queer safety .

the show also seems to be showing some sort of coming out narrative, although a very messy one showing the reality of the situation where it may not always be clean, and those you love may not always react the way you hope. lois’s obsession with his identity and exposing his secrets runs perfectly in line with old media obsession with trying to find out if a celebrity was “secretly a man”, and her shock and betrayal at finding out someone close to her is “lying” to her about something they aren’t ready to share reminds me so deeply of people accusing their trans partners of lying to them pre-transition. jimmy is pre-disposed to an obsession with other beings just like clark, so i can see clark trying to tell him going uncomfortably too. but the entire point of the show seems to be about the characters facing the discomfort and becoming better people for it, so i’m hoping it shows things ending on an understanding note between them all.

i’m not sure if this was the angle the writers were going for here, but as someone who is really intrigued by the usual “two parts of one person” angle that they approach superman/clark from, this was really interesting change in approach from the usual take, and i’m really intrigued to see how it develops

[yisanged]

my parents are chill with the idea of me going into academics which i think i'll probably do just because that's the kind of job i'm most familiar with since it's what my dad does. the concept of clocking into a 9-5 office job or something was so foreign to me for the longest time and even with my mom running her shop it's still unfamiliar. what i know best is lesson plans and grading tests and setting up labs. except my dad says he doesn't want me to go into humanities because it would make it harder to go further and get jobs and stuff. which is a fair concern but also i like humanities marginally more than stem and while the idea of going into stem subjects doesn't upset me in itself i don't like having the other thing be eliminated i like having options. but i don't want to disappoint my parents because they're really chill about most things they've given up a lot for me more than typical parents being immigrants and all and they only have a few expectations for me so it stings thinking i won't be able to fulfill them. but then i remember they're vehemently homophobic and transphobic and their number one goal for me is that i get married and become a mom which is such an unbearable unfathomable future to me but so is the idea of coming out to them and the inevitable fallout so i'm probably going to have to kill myself or something at some point. and then the stem humanities thing seems to matter a bit less and it's fine

[welcome-to-the-agender-agenda]

When I was in year four, I was really happy when my dad told me my voice was getting deeper and actively tried to make it less high pitched.

That same year I kept trying to come off as more of a tomboy because I hated being associated with being girly.

When I was in year five, I played the role of a male character and, when asked why, I said that the gender didn't matter to me.

That same year I desperately wanted to be the friend of this girl because she was really pretty and funny.

When I was in year six, I played a male character again and loved it.

That same year I went around telling everyone I was straight and definitely a girl and I didn't understand being non-binary in the most obnoxious way.

When I was in year seven, I thought fuck girls are pretty.

That same year I discovered many new labels that were suddenly becoming very relatable to me.

When I was in year eight, I suddenly had a gender crisis.

That same year I changed my pronouns, gender identity and name.

What I've learned is very important.

1. People who give off homophobic/transphobic vibes before they're educated about LGBTQ+ identities usually turn out to be queer.

2. I was so fucking oblivious as a kid.

[saorlasdraft]

Okay time for Bad Dad rankings according to me (MCU) (it's just the avengers, Gotg, and black widow film.)

1. Alexei. (Dad guy of Natasha and Yelena)

-I don't think I have to explain this but I will anyway.

-This guy concsiously made the decision to put his very very young adoptive-ish daughters in the red room. You know, the one who trains kid assasins and then like inevitably kills them if they fail, pit them against each other? Yeah.

-also fuck you alexei that's human trafficking.

2. 0d*n

-like come on who the fuck steals a child and then makes them hate their existence??

-Bitch ass lying ass bitch.

-He had 3 chances I don't know how he managed to fuck that up

-"oh but look at thor, he's always happy, and he's good." First of all, Thor is only good because earthlings taught him better shit than 0d*n. Second of all, he's always happy, and you don't find it concerning at all??

-thor turned out to be the depressed kid who wants to fight every mild inconvenience.

3. Ego

-okay now, him, U don't personally know. But if you're going to use your kid, you could at least not kill their mom yk?? That was a dick move

4. Thanos

-Now I know what you might be thinking, "why isn't he the top 1, he tried to murder half the universe blah blah blah," I Don't Care. Thanos by far showed the most care for his children.

-did he turn them into assasins? Yes. Did he pit them against each other in order to strengthen them? Also yes. But you have to admit, he cared about eacb and every stray child he got (disregarding of course the possibility that he mind whammied loki and tortured him)

-like he has different beliefs than everyone else that made him a bad father, but essentially it didn't make him like love them less. He just kinda loved the balance of the universe more.

-also there's something with the way he talks that's so...placating(?). Like when Ebony didn't show up, it wasn't like anger that he failed, it was mostly disappointment. Like the kind you get when you feel like you failed someone because they failed? Also whenever he speaks to anyone he sounds so peaceful idk.

5. That guy with the rings???

-like man why you blaming your child???

-also abuse???

-also hating your kids especially girly with the bangs???

6. Howard mf Stark.

-now here's the thing. I genuinely believe that Howard was neglectful but he was in no way abusive.

-I believe that Mr. Jarvis would most definitely not stand for the abuse of anyone in the Stark Manor. As does Peggy Carter.

-But He is neglectful. Just the company, SHIELD, shmaptain shamerica, everything, he completely forgets to prioritize his family.

-but I also believe that he greatly values the Stark name. Not in the sense that, "behave, do not sully my household name." But like, "this is my household name that I built from the ground up. Now that you have become part of it, there is nothing you can do to tarnish it. Be free, be gay, do crimes"

-like obviously not treason but like if Tony was ever like has disabilities or something about his Sexuality or gender identity, he'd do absolutely everything so that no one has anything bad to say about it.

-Not to say he will accept it (it's honestly this or that) but he won't allow anyone disrespecting a Stark.

-I just get the vibe that even if he was not a good father, he will make the Stark name impossibly unreachable, untouchable, no matter the circumstances. Like he'd be too focused on that to be homophobic or transphobic.

-like let's say ftm!tony, and he walks in on him trying Howard's old suit which are like sized bigger than him. He'd probably forget that tony was afab and be like, "This is not going to work, we're going to the tailor. I can't have people seeing you dressed like you got that from a thrift shop." Or like, "Why are you so skinny? Do you even work-out, boy? Drop and give 50, now."

(Please know that this would be entirely different had he been abusing. He's be in 1st place)

Anyway. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[mo0nagedaydr3am]

Saying either of them belong to any shitty house in that antisemitic shit excuse for media is disgusting. They are a mlm couple, they are part of the LGBT community. They would be disgusted that you align them with that transphobe. Get a grip, bigot.

1) I do not support Jk Rowling in any way. She is a disgusting racist, transphobic, homophobic, bitch. Years ago I bought all the Harry Potter books. I read them and I loved them and I even bought a Slytherin sweater because that is the house I align with. That was before I found out what type of person Jkr truly is. Since then, I have still continued to buy merch and books and whatnot for my own enjoyment. Not because I support Jkr, but because me, one small meaningless person, not buying Hp stuff, isn't going to change how much money Jkr has or her fame. I have refused acknowledge that she is the creator of Harry Potter though. It has become much bigger than her. She is simply an awful woman and I tend to stay away from mentioning her at all and acknowledging that she even exists. To me, Harry Potter just popped into existence for me and everyone else to enjoy. 2) I’m not even really in the Harry Potter fandom. I come across a post about it and sure I’ll like it but I interact mainly with The Marauders fandom(with Harry’s Dad and Sirius and Remus) and they aren’t the creation of Jkr. They are the creation of HP fans who wanted someone more and something that didn’t belong to Jkr. I enjoy The Marauders fandom way more than I did the HP fandom. 3) People can and still interact and love HP and that doesn’t mean that they believe in Jkr’s disgusting views. I’ve met hundreds of people who absolutely love HP but when it comes to Jkr they are absolutely disgusted. They don’t give a shit about her and they only like HP for their own enjoyment. People will go out of their way to say in post, edits, and fanfics that they don’t support her in any way because of small minded people like you who think that just because we like HP, it means that we like Jkr to. I do not. And most people don’t either. I myself am bisexual and part of the Lgbtq+ community, and I hate Jkr for the things she says. 3) Moving forward with the fact that I hate Jkr and only interact with the HP fandom only sometimes for my own enjoyment, yes, I still do align myself as a Slytherin and I still do like to take a guess at what house I think certain characters would be in. I said what I was thinking and that’s that. I didn’t say anything regarding to Jkr or her views or even HP in general. I just said their houses (my opinion) and didn’t mean any harm by it. 4) If Nico and Will did know what HP is and read the books and whatnot they probably would find it interesting. They would not in any capacity, support Jkr. They, like me, would hate her. But that doesn’t mean they/I can’t enjoy the fandom and the people in it. I saw about a new game that came out and I understand the controversy surrounding it. I myself have vowed to stay away from things like that to avoid drama. I don't hate the people who are buying it because even if they are it doesn't mean they support her. I myself don't play video games and don't have any interest in doing so. If other people want to, they can go for it. I myself couldn't care less. 5) Maybe they would be disgusted, maybe they wouldn’t. I don’t know. Because they are simply characters in a book and I won’t ever truly know how they feel about it. And you won’t either. I know they would hate Jkr, but it isn’t your place to tell me how they would feel about it (HP/the fandom)as a whole. I am simply making posts about the content I enjoy and I don’t know why you want to have a say in it. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter and if you don’t like it then you can block me.

[a-girl-called-bob]

my gender progression was soooo funny it was like

12: sometimes i wish i was born a girl. welp i'm never gonna think about that again

19: maybe I'm gender? who could say?

20: Sure I got irrationally angry when i heard about an aquaintence's transphobic dad, doesn't everyone?

21: Sure I got a burst of elation when the developer of one of my favorite games which already had a trans main character named for themselves updated the splash screen with their new name, doesn't everyone?

22: i've been following all of these trans game developers and they keep retweeting their trans friends' thirst traps and i don't want to look like a chaser but they're all working on me T_T

23: oh i'm girl. oh. well i'm less worried about looking like a douche but i have like, so many new things to worry about. ugh now i have to put enough effort into my appearance to become someone *else's* gender awakening

[samuraiyeehaw]

hey we’ve never met before but i saw your vent about your transphobic mom and i wanted to like. idk. give you a hug? offer you dad jokes to get your mind off things? things are getting better between me (trans guy) and my transphobic mom but i still get where you’re coming from. having your mom not Get You or try to get you hurts. A Lot. worst case scenario, i hope you build/become part of a queer found family - there’s this lesbian staff member at my school i refer to as my “queer mom” a lot of the time, who’s been supportive of my identity. maybe you could end up with a queer mom too somehow. anyway. beaming you with the Trans Joy Enjoyer Ray 2000. i hope there’s something about today that makes you feel nice about your appearance and/or voice. have a good day, and hopefully this wasn’t bothersome to read

That is incredibly kind of you, thank you for sending me this. It's really nice to hear an encouraging word from someone who's going through the same thing I'm going through. It makes me feel less alone.

[zipwriting]

I put body swaps as one of Kouragra's powers it has unfettered access too and now they WOn'T stop playing musical chairs!

Kouragra < > Ocelotl

Kouragre > some random made up lady

Ocelotl < > wife of Ocelotl (breifly)

random lady Kouragra < > Enalore

Enalore (Kouragra) < > Ocelotl

It keeps ending with Kouragra back as Kouragra which seems boring but I think it's interesting to ponder if Enalore would give up her elf longevity to be some random made up lady. But I think it's a no brainer. Also she's the one who's always trying to get people to drink from the fountain of life or whatever. And of course, well Ocelotl would run off with her body

Do you guys think we're allowed to ship Rain and Merald and if not then who are they dating? Heeeeello? Somebody's wife? Oh no I remember. Merald is too plain, that Rain isn't attracted to them, but I still think they would probably end up together, and be like, well we settled. Those are the best relationships, though, like, "you rejected me, when we were teenagers" you've known each other for 10 years?

Do you think they're even friends? Do you think they have enough to do all day, that they can avoid each other for 10 years?

Rain and Merald, they hate each other, but then they swap bodies for sexual reasons only but then, like, actually fall in love, but they hate each other's responsibilities because either of them hates the other one's favorite parent, and they won't tell anyone that they've switched because 1. it's embarrassing 2. Kouragra would say it's pseudo-incest (it's not pseudo if it's gerald and ciri!!!!!!!!! parents can adopt you. step siblings can't adopt each other. except the moment in time when I was like "Enalore and Kouragra are aro4aro, that Kouragra calls her its business partner and roomate and co-parent, and Enalore is like well that's my little sister" it's so funny and I think it's less awkward for Enalore to be like "I adopted Wilda as my little sister, and then after that, or obviously not after that, but it was unspoken until now, dating Wilda's dad" wrong order Enalore. But it's different, possibly worse, to adopt a teenager and then be sneaking around with her dad but NOT being romantic with him.) The point I'm at is they unswap to do their housework and possibly unionize (the eldest daughtex union) (in medieval fantasy) to get regular hours.

Funny (evil) to give Enalore some biological urge once she becomes cis but more along the lines of baby fever than something more transphobic and also. She sometimes does end up with babies, probably half are babies and half are 2-17 and by contrasting babies with 2 year olds I MEAN babies

I call monsters it/its cis becuase all supernatural creatures are it/its. Kouragra. But then Sarah I had to fix its pronouns (in my notes I made them both have neos of K/K's and S/S's, lord help me edit th) (it's funny because no one gets mad about 2 she's (anymore) but) what was I saying, Sarah is that binary trasn women and sh--it transistioned AS a werewolf. I made up the it/its rule when I Was working with Mason, okay, I made Sarah--and her name was Lisa--and its name was Lisa, anyways, and then I tried to give Kouragra the random made up lady (when they turned Kouragra into Ocelotl it couldn't/wouldn't change back, so they took it to a wizard that turns animals into. All the same body type of brunette lady, which is obviously bad, it's very sussy, but yeah it didn't stick plus ALL of its magic is back in its old body. AND the tiger is a feminine form. But also a strong form.

Well that's what I have to say

[applechip118]

all the mr:tm lore i have so far

i thought i should start posting about my ocs! the story is called Melanie Richards: Teenage Mercenary (probably not my idea lmao). i don’t have any official refs yet but here’s the official lore thus far!

TW for abuse, neglect, mental illness, murder, homophobia/transphobia, bullying, toxic yuri ❤️ , violence/body horror (like FNAF)

Melanie Charlotte Richards (Maurycja Celina Rodowicz) is a 13-year-old Polish-American girl who lives in San Diego in the early 2010s. She comes from a poor, abusive family, living with her mother and stepfather (her father passed away in the 2000s).

She’s the classic middle school weeaboo, obsessed with manga and J-pop. Don’t mention yaoi around her, she’ll start foaming at the mouth (not because she finds yaoi boys attractive though—she’s a lesbian in denial, but if you told her that she’d kill you on the spot).

She is autistic and has ADHD, BPD, OCD and likely PTSD, and because of this asks her parents for therapy but is denied because she’s “old enough to earn it for herself” (since her family can’t afford it). She’s forced to become a hitman in secret, going around killing middle-aged businessmen for other middle-aged businessmen with an old cricket bat. She’s terrible at being subtle so her parents likely have an idea something’s going on, but don’t care.

Andrea Claudia Campbell is a 13-year-old Jamaican and Native Hawaiian girl who also lives in San Diego, and goes to the same middle school as Melanie. She has a mom, dad and two younger brothers (11 and 8 years old). She is autistic and has ADHD, and her family is a little better off than Melanie’s.

Andrea is an absolute LOSER. NOBODY likes her!! She’s the bi, probably nonbinary Deviantart wolf furry kid, who dresses scenemo and probably posts edgy edits of herself to Facebook. She and Melanie quickly become best friends through their eighth grade art class, since they’re both unpopular and get bullied often.

Andrea’s home life is arguably better than Melanie’s (Melanie’s parents are emotionally abusive and neglectful, as well as bigoted traditional Christians. Andrea’s parents are less volatile, but still bigoted, especially homophobic/transphobic). Andrea’s parents end up finding her gay stuff on her laptop, and in a panic Andrea runs away from home and shows up at Melanie’s door. Melanie suggests that they run off and live in a shitty motel together, and being stupid 13 year old girls in a sapphic situationship, they decide it’s a perfect idea!

When Andrea becomes curious as to how they can afford to live out of a motel, Melanie figures she should introduce Andrea to her work and… yeah. She tricks her into helping her do a job, and in the aftermath, she comforts a horrified Andy by putting matching yellow band-aids on their ring fingers like a wedding. Me and the girl I pulled by traumabonding her to me ❤️

Eventually Andy comes around and they’re good for a while, of course until the school bullies catch wind of their situation and start talking. I’m not so certain on this part, but Melanie ends up betraying Andy and throwing her under the bus. I want to write it so that it’s a combination of her internalized homophobia, trauma and BPD (if anyone has any advice or experience please feel free to share!).

By this point Andy has earned enough herself to fend for herself, so they end up going their separate ways for a while. Working on her own, Melanie is given an offer by a client—a way to be much more efficient at her job. Still unstable and uncertain, she agrees. What she doesn’t realize is that this offer was to literally hollow her out FNAF scooper-style, and then turn her into a Springtrap-esque abomination of flesh and machinery ❤️

Andy, lonely and guilty despite Melanie being the one to betray her, returns and finds Hollow!Melanie. She’s rightfully horrified but also angry at Melanie for what she did. She confronts her but ends up breaking down and hugs her. Melanie, a literal and metaphorical machine, starts to remember her humanity from this and apologizes.

The ending is a work in progress but the main moral of the story that I’m trying to portray is that girlhood, especially teenage years, can be really fucked up, but it does get better because you’ll grow out of it. Melanie and Andrea part ways with a sincere “I’m glad you were in my life, now get the FUCK out”, and Andy is left with a hell of a middle school crush horror story to tell. The End ❤️

if you guys have any feedback or ideas please let me know!!!! this is all based heavily off of my own experience with abuse and trauma so it’s accurate to my own story but not necessarily anyone else’s. maybe i can get around to making refs sometime! (lying) but if you guys have any questions/submissions i will be so so SO happy to answer them :3 i felt like the ooftrop ucft writing this lmao

[here4theheartbreak]

I DID SEE THEM DO THE CHALLENGE WITH MINHO!! I LOVE IT WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE. Also, I read that Minho's dad knows San's dad?? San's dad knows everyone, it's insane. He must be the most connected man in Namhae. Anyway, I Ioooooove that Ateez do all these challenges now. 🧡🧡🧡

HELLO?? WOO AS THE K-DRAMA ROOKIE WHO DESTROYS THE VITAL EVIDENCE?? Yessss, please. It'd be so funny though. He'd play it so well. I want ittttttt!

The fancall was so sweet! San let him talk and he listened really well, just like he does with every other fan telling him something important. A whole king. But, really, I suppose he's just an actually decent man! 🌸👑

Definitely! Fans of boy groups are 'expected' to be girls/women. I think this might be a bit different when these groups go on tour in the rest of the world. Here in Europe, while the majority are still girls and women there's quite a lot of boys and men too. And everyone just blends in/together. So, I think these groups kind of get used to seeing and interacting more with male fans outside of SK at least. So, they become a little less of a 'novelty'.

Oh, yeah! There's no gendering in Ateez songs, I always forget that but it's true! And they change words when they do covers. I love it so much. 🩷

I agree. In the past, I have definitely seen interactions between male idols and male fans that are just kind of... uncomfortable viewing. So, I can't even imagine what that would feel like to be that person. Or to be someone who is a fan of that idol, and be male, or transmasc, or anything that isn't, once again, 'expected'. Even for me, I find it very off-putting? Unnerving? Uncomfortable?

I'm so glad you found comfort in the call and in San's responses and interactions! 🥺 Like you say, he didn't know it would end up online, he was just focused on the person that he was speaking too.

And you are SO RIGHT about how easy it is to say 'equal rights', and donate to charities. It's so broad and impersonal??? Literal homophobes/transphobes could do it without blinking. This kind of stuff, these ground level, one to one, interactions actually matter because they SHOW YOU what's real. I know people say music is just music blah blah blah. But K-pop is sold to us as a package - music, content, fashion, makeup, culture, dance, their actual personalities. So, I always try and determine how 'safe' a group is before I get into them properly. I really don't want to support someone, or give someone that much of my attention, if I don't think they'd actually have my back in a bad situation. And no other group has nailed that for me like Ateez has. And I mean that sincerely. I've been a fan for how long now? Over four and a half years? And not ONCE has a single member made me unsure or made me doubt anything.

It's like how Hongjoong was wearing his little LGBT keychain thing on his trousers in that vlog with his brother in Spain. He didn't know anyone would see it. It was only visible because he happened to try clothes on in a shop and he took his cardigan off. That's the energy I need. Consistent. Personal. Real.

And those few anti-lgbt atiny will say 'what else are they gonna say, they have to be nice to you' until the cows come home. BUT Hongjoong doesn't have to keep wearing that rainbow keychain. Seonghwa didn't have to show everyone that LGBT pride edition toothpaste that he owned and make a coming out quip. Yunho didn't have to tell a fan 'love is love, it doesn't matter with who, as long as you're happy in your heart'. Yeosang didn't have to personally reply to that tweet where an Atiny had put bisexual flags on his and Wooyoung's cheeks and call them '친구 에이티니'. Mingi didn't have to be so damn serious when he said 'thats not legally possible' because that fan jokingly asked when he was marrying Yunho. Sannie didn't have to be so attentive and kind on that fan call. Wooyoung didn't have to encourage (or be so invested in) that male fan when he told him he wanted to ask his male work colleague out. Jongho doesn't have to use these hearts, in this exact order, so often '❤️🧡💛💚💙💜'. All of these examples are things they didn't HAVE to do. They were completely unsolicited. No one at the company made them do any of these things. So, honestly, screw those (few) dumb fuckers who are convinced that people see support that's not there. I've never seen more heartfelt support from an entire group. Be queer, smash the system, stan Ateez. ✊🏴‍☠️🌈

/end rant.

Seonghwa won't invest in a lock to keep San out because as much as he hates it he loves it. He's always soooooo desperate to be 'WooSanHwa'. The way he flipped the pillow over when he remade the bed though. I think he just gets up in the morning and expects San to arrive at some point. 😭🤣

ALSO this competition everyone is currently involved in to try and be Yeosang's favourite?? Why is the battle this fierce? Why is this an actual thing? How did Yeosang become SO powerful? IT'S INCREDIBLE. Hats off to the man. He's got the whole group clammering and competing to be his favourite. It's like the hunger games.

Yessss. Promotions have been a blast! I'm glad you had fun with it, especially of it's been a while! 💚🥺

You're welcome for the link! 💮🧡

OH, DID YOU SEE BABY CLOUD ARIN DOING THE BOUNCY CHALLENGE BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY, SAYING SHE MISSES UNCLE WOOYOUNG?? DID YOU SEE HE LEFT HER A REPLY/COMMENT?? I CAN'TTTTTTTTT.

ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Eep! My stack of albums finally arrived and I got a couple more cards I wanted! And am trading for a few that I want (bread San V_V Please - but my friend collects Mingi so a trade worked; and then I’m hunting desperately for peeking WooSan - I will own those two I swear 😩 - but anyways, these were my pulls for all my Outlaw albums ^_^ (Unless I am weak and spot a copy still in stock at our Target or B&N or sth).

Honestly tho - you say a king but just a decent man - but let’s be so blunt here; when it comes to celebrities, it really does feel like decency like this is rare enough that it is shocking and amazing. It sucks that it is, but it’s really nice to find folks who are. One of those expect nothing to the worst so you’re pleasantly surprised when you get the best type things.

Gendering - It’s one of the biggest things that bugs me in a lot of kpop - some songs do require gendered terms, I acknowledge that, and I know that they are playing to the majority of their audience; if you’re singing a song that says idk, be my girlfriend - then okay, yeah - you need to use a gendered term (Replay lol - comes to mind - though we all cringe a little over it lbvs - SHINee included 🤣) — but for the most part, you can manage a lot of “love” songs without actually using any form of gendered term in Korean? Like it seems very easy to keep general lyrics pretty neutral. And most of the time, when groups do use a gendered term, they’re sticking the english word “girl” into a lyric that… Really doesn’t need it? Esp when it’s not a love song (which I usually don’t love anyways) - but like, in the fan songs it particularly drives me up a wall - because it’s one of those things that I think unfortunately just alienates a group of fans (a small group but still).

And agreed relating to male fans - a lot of the times it’s “X from Group B surprised by male fan!” for like, concert clips or fansign videos, etc on YT and just… ??? Maybe don’t? Or when the members actually make a comment about it that doesn’t seem… Idk, they seem confused or less relaxed by it? I obvi don’t speak for everyone who has a male/masculine/transmasc identity - but for me it feels super uncomfortable, can’t I just be a person who is a fan of a group of performers? I feel far less welcome - not even just in fandom - but specifically by the member(s) that responded in that manner. (I will give OnlyOneOf massive props for that here as well. Obvi they’re a really supportive group overall, but it was really telling seeing firsthand how they treated male presenting vs female presenting vs androgynous fans (the answer is all the same. Zero hesitation to hug or chat with anyone regardless of the fans presenting gender or age and that was wild to me.) - And I would hazard that Ateez would probably be similar in that situation; I hope to find out for myself if it’s true one day V_V.

And yeah, no, you and I are super similar when it comes to our opinions on kpop. I vet potential new groups intensely before deciding to get into them. Obvi the broad you know, how old are they, what company are they under, what type of music - but then the much deeper - how many scandals have they had, what are those scandals, how did they deal with the actually problematic ones (like - dating scandals, idgaf, that’s stupid - but like, bullying, or CA, etc — I want to know exactly how they responded and how often it’s happened), do they have deep associations with x or y particularly disgusting people, etc. 🤣 My investigative skills are well honed.

But it’s because you’re exactly right - kpop is meant to be a parasocial type relationship that you as a fan are invested in. You should be interested in their personalities and what brands they promote and what charities they talk about, hell they do lives for their birthdays ffs. Ofc people do sometimes take it too far and that’s a problem - but I also acknowledge that it’s a part of the culture of kpop that you are meant to feel like you know them (or at least the persona they’ve created for their group) - and for me, that means expecting them or that persona to not be a horribly toxic human being.

Realistically - with a solid majority of the groups I like, it’s less “they’ve not done anything wrong” and more “I’ve excused x or y because it’s likely due to culture, age, etc” - I’ve had to make so many allowances for certain things just because I genuinely don’t know how many groups I’d have if I didn’t, and that’s ridiculous. So frankly when I was doing the vetting for Ateez and realized that I could only find a singular big issue - that was dealt with perfectly not only by the company but also the member in question - I was very confused. I kept digging trying to find something else because the thought that a group that’s been active for a handful of years hasn’t had anything - I mean these guys don’t even have an “oh they didn’t censor themselves in a rap song” type scandal which I pretty much expect when it comes to rappers in groups and don’t think much of esp if it was when they were much younger. — But nothing? At all? Are they real?? I remember asking the friend that showed me them - have they ever done something wrong?? All I can find is this one thing and then a bunch of just - general anti-fans from other groups doing their regular trolling. (She cracked up at that tho - said no, they’re one of the squeakiest boy groups around it feels like - and I agree - even their company passes so many bars that I’ve have had to just completely give up for other groups (even indie groups) - how tf??)

I usually take fan interactions with a grain of salt, bc they’re secondhand accounts, usually like - oh we met and he did/said this — that’s great, but I also know that that can be spun to make the person not look so bad. But actual video evidence - that’s not going to be spun. Not when you can see the idol’s expressions, watch how they process what’s being said, hear their responses, etc and - frankly - I’m socially anxious spectrum person from the queer community with a decade of psychology training, I know how to read expressions and body language, I have learned that skill for decades. THAT is the real indicator. And I was perfectly happy accepting this group as being supportive without that video evidence but honestly seeing it is so much more real, it’s that physical proof that I almost never get.

And all the evidence you listed as well, 99% of it - if they’d responded in a more neutral way, say, - Mingi making some joke instead of getting serious; Seonghwa saying he bought the toothpaste bc he thought it was pretty (or not commenting at all about what it meant); being far less invested (both San and Woo) with their male fans, just smiling and saying something general and nice.. All San had to say was thank you to that fan, and it would have made his day - but instead he took the time to respond thoughtfully and positively in a way that showed he listened and understood. — Nothing bad would have happened if they’d been more neutral. Nobody would’ve called them homophobes, horrible people, etc - because they would be acting like 90% of the groups out there, no active, open support or dislike, just neutrality. So the whole “they have to do it” - they really don’t, because they could be entirely neutral about things with no backlash. (Honestly probably would have had less backlash by remaining neutral because I’m sure anti-lgbt+ fans aren’t delighted by the support at all, and I wouldn’t be shocked if they lost a few fans over that support). They chose to be that supportive presence - the whole group, not just 1 or 2 nice members, but overall, they as a group have made that choice and that means something.

Adding into general support - the comment about how their group color should be rainbow when asked about official colors as well; and their whole subtle rainbow agenda during their Thanxx stages.

I’d also like to point out that it’s consistent. It’s not 1 or 2 times they were supportive and the rest is just meh, neutral. They’ve been consistent in this behavior for a long while. I just finished their pre-debut reality show actually, and couldn’t help but notice that during their improv class - they changed the genders, rather than playing a girl/boy - they played boyfriends; and instead of a girl bringing her boyfriend home to her parents, it was a boy bringing a boy home to his dads — Sure, it’s easy to say oh they just didn’t want to play girls, but that’s sort of a kpop thing it seems? Every group does that (and they’ve played girl roles in other shows so it isn’t that.) And when they were showing their first fanmeet - I noticed the camera showing male fans which, unless it’s an American or European program filming sth for kpop, I don’t think I’ve ever seen? I noticed hello82 doing it as well, but assumed since that’s an LA based company it was bc of that, but their pre debut show was headed by their own company iirc? - Which tells damn near all I need to know, and it’s all good.

(I could rant about this for hours because it’s just so damn nice to see so you’re not alone there lol)

Yeosang is adorable and should be everyone’s favorite, he’s just too sweet 😭It’s fierce because he’s a shy little guy and everyone’s gonna do everything they can to make him laugh 😂 - I adore him to pieces, I mean - I’m biased given my biases — but even before they were, he was absolutely one of the first members I noticed. He’s so cute and how someone that strong can simultaneously be so tiny - it is magic. Truly, he’s a wizard lol. He has every single member (and a solid chunk of the fanbase) absolutely smitten and whipped by him and nobody’s upset about it lmao.

I DID SEE ARIN, my God😭 - my heart genuinely needs a break from the cute with those kids. If they don’t have at least Woo back on the show soon I might implode (tho if it was just Woo the siblings would be upset, so I think they HAVE to bring back all of them. Or just hand the whole group over to the kids for a day. Jaeyul would be able to keep most of them plenty busy just by himself 🥹

[jinxedshapeshifter]

Life tip from your local neighborhood shapeshifter, because I am legitimately dealing with trauma and attachment issues from this: you do not owe your family anything.

I honestly feel guilt for wanting to move out of my grandparents' house. Why do I want to move out?

They're transphobic as fuck. It's doing me worse mentally to stay with my grandparents than moving out, and even if I did move out, I don't have any way to transport myself literally anywhere. Similarly to my brother, I would love to have a fresh start.

But because my grandparents are getting up there in age, and both have health problems (as well as my grandpa getting a knee surgery at the beginning of June) I feel bad for wanting to leave. I feel obligated to, like I owe it to them just because of their age and health. It's keeping me back.

And frankly that's fucked up.

I can already see someone saying "You're a fucking asshole for wanting to move out when your grandparents clearly need assistance" but frankly, considering the plethora of things they've either done directly or allowed happen to me, I do not give a fuck. In fact, here's a list:

My grandfather threatened to disown me if I ever got top surgery, literally telling me he'd kick me out if I still identified as trans at 18 (to be fair I'm 19 but still, that doesn't negate the negative affect this had on me).

Transphobia. Just rampant transphobia that is not great for my mental health. Also just LGBTQphobia in general.

Allowed my aunt and uncle to essentially kidnap me with no warning when I was 13, resulting in a self-harm addiction I am still struggling with, as well as trauma from abuse I suffered from my uncle that makes me nervous around him over 6 years later. My dad also allowed this to happen, in fact he orchestrated it. My grandpa also endorses the kidnapping of kids to send them to facilities like group homes.

My grandfather also threatened to kick me out because I do not share his religious beliefs

So yeah, I genuinely could not care less about the fact that if I move out, nobody will be around to help them. I am 19, they've caused me legitimate trauma and mental health struggles, and I am genuinely sick of dealing with their bullshit.

I don't owe my grandparents or dad anything.

Anyway feel free to donate to my Ko-Fi or buy something from my Ko-Fi shop, my main goal right now is to get a new phone that actually functions (for a multitude of reasons). Once that's out of the way I'll focus on moving out.