#why not give him both my sexual/romantic orientation and the kind of relationship i want

[atomic-sludge]

Do I headcannon Hunter as aro/ace? Yes, absolutely. Do I also absolutely love pairing him up with people via shipping? Yes, absolutely.

[briefobservationdreamer]

Ace In The Hole: Discussing Asexual Representation In Hazbin Hotel And The Fandom

Alastor has become one of the most well-known asexual icons in modern media and has been the subject of quite a lot of discussion and discourse amongst fans, and I think there is a lot about this topic that really needs to be said. So, as an aroace, I would like to express some thoughts on how his asexuality is represented in Hazbin Hotel (with some mention of Helluva Boss briefly at the end).

To start with, scenes in the show that address the topic not only explicitly confirm that Alastor is cannonically asexual, but they also heavily imply that he is aromantic as well, and is more specifically on the averse side of those spectrums. To explain my reasoning, I will start with the pivotal scene, since this provides the most explicit information.

It is a very brief 10-second exchange, but there is actually a lot to unpack in just these two lines of dialogue.

Rosie teases him about being asexual by jokingly dismissing the idea of Alastor and Charlie being in a relationship because Charlie would be too young for him, and then giving a more serious reason in Alastor being an "ace in the hole". As Rosie is using this as a reason for why she knows Alastor wouldn't be in a relationship with Charlie, this is definitely a pun made in reference to his sexuality rather than the common use of the phrase, which wouldn't be a logical explanation. The pun, of course, goes right over his head as asexuality wasn't really known in the early 20th century when he was alive and Alastor doesn't tend to keep with the times as a rule. With context, though, Rosie's comment about Charlie being too young for him wasn't just a reference to sex. She was talking about dating. About sex and romance as a package the way most people do when we talk about "being in a relationship."

She has confidently deduced that Alastor is asexual, even without any explicit communication about it from Alastor. It would be extremely unlikely she could have come to that conclusion and ruled out all other possibilities (not having found the right person yet, currently being more invested in other aspects of his life, high relationship standards etc) if Alastor had confused the matter for them both in having much of an interest in finding a partner of any kind throughout their history, even if it was just a result of ingrained societal expectations. If Alastor had been on the favourable end of even one of those spectrums, it's extremely unlikely he would have been able to articulate and express his experiences clearly enough for it to be distinguishable from allosexuality and alloromanticism without being educated on the subject, which he isn’t. Rosie has also clearly known him for a very long time, almost certainly decades, which would be enough time to call other possibilities into question. And if Rosie - a proclaimed expert on the subject and a close personal associate of Alastor's - hasn't seen him express much of an interest in the decades she's known him, then it is extremely unlikely that he has an interest in it or ever will.

This is combined with the fact that, while Alastor seems to generally prefer the company of women to men, he has never shown attraction towards anyone and has expressed only disinterest or revulsion on all three occasions the subject is directly brought up to him (though the tone-deaf commercial he made in episode 1 indicates he's willing to make an occasional joke about sex if he thinks the comedic payoff is worth it, which I think is a very nice touch). They don't mean much individually, but all together with the pivotal scene, they do create a bit of a consistent pattern.

There is meta evidence for this as well. Amir Talai and others have also stated he is aroace, and while that has since been retracted to say he has only canonically been confirmed asexual, Vivzie has also stated that she doesn't want to reveal Alastor's romantic orientation so everyone can have fun shipping whoever they want and that it ultimately isn't important in the show, which is telling in itself. Not only is Alastor's canon romantic orientation the only one not explicitly revealed, but what other romantic orientation could be considered problematic for shipping besides a complete lack of romantic attraction? If Alastor really was romantically inclined, there would be no issue with being open about it, and I am absolutely positive that Vivzie would have said so by now.

So no. Alastor is not attracted to anyone and is not going to get together with anyone in the show. The two main defences that I've seen - "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" and "it was never confirmed he was aromantic" - do not really hold water in this case.

Now as for the representation itself. He isn't defined by his asexuality, and the show never directly attributed his more unsavoury traits to it, though care does need to be taken about the "doesn't love anyone because he only loves himself" trope. I believe Vivzie has insinuated something like that at some point, which would certainly be questionable. I personally don't mind the show's one ace character being a villain in this case, given the setting though. Many characters in the show are portrayed negatively in Hell, regardless of their sexuality, and conversely it could even be considered infantilising to have the one asexual character also be one of the few good characters in the show. Again, the show hasn't really made that correlation.

He is too fully-developed and integral to the plot to be considered a token character. He defies being an emotionless robot/socially awkward nerd stereotype by instead being a passionate, flamboyant, charismatic man who, despite being a ruthless serial killer and a cannibal, still seems to be capable of feeling affection for others and forming close friendships. It is actually refreshing to see. Amir said it best when he said "you don't have to fuck to be fab", and I think Alastor could be good villainous ace representation if...

1. His asexuality and aromanticism is aknowledged just a little more in the show itself so there is no room for ambiguity. So far the only confirmation we've had is a quick and subtle joke which, while appreciated, could easily go over the heads of people who don't know what asexuality is, just as it did for Alastor. Vivzie might be fond of dropping lore on livestreams and social media, but not everyone is going to know what is said by creators outside of the show, nor should they be expected to in order to judge Hazbin Hotel as a show for its own merits.

2. He continues to have a capacity for affection and friendship, and more negative traits such as narcissism and a lack of empathy aren't attributed to him being aroace. I think this is both important for giving him depth as a character and essential for avoiding harmful stereotypes. The idea that relationship averse aroaces aren't as capable of having profoundly loving relationships and will end up alone, and that people are boring or incomplete without a sexual or romantic partner is already a tired and insulting cliché that reinforces allonormativity/amatonormativity and it really needs to go.

Does that mean it is wrong to ship him? Well, not necessarily, though just because Vivzie said we could ship anyone doesn't automatically make it right. Personally, I don't like shipping in general, and I dislike Alastor ships on the basis of him being aroace, the fact that I think pretty much all of his relationships as portrayed in the show would be problematic as a romance regardless of his orientation, and my general preference for canon compliance when it comes to fan content. However, I recognise that is my personal preference and can tolerate a certain amount of it in moderation. It isn't necessarily wrong to ship Alastor - and I am certainly never going to begrudge a fellow aro/ace exploring their identity on the spectrum using cartoons as an outlet with the rare piece of rep we have to share when reps currently have the whole spectrum on their shoulders - as long as distinctions are made between fanon and canon, and that what has been established in canon is given respect.

Sadly, this hasn't always been the case and I can feel very uncomfortable with just how much he has been shipped and sexualised by some fans, and in a way that is blatantly disrespectful and out of character. After all, while also not "wrong" exactly, it wouldn't be ideal to ship a gay character in a heterosexual relationship, especially if the excuse that they haven't been confirmed to be attracted to the opposite sex is used just to make homosexuality more palatable. That would mean changing an innate and immutable part of them to the extent that they would no longer be considered the same person, denying representation. Why is it any different here?

The way the creators have handled it has also been giving mixed messages (with merch for example), and unfortunately, Vivzie's refusal to stand by his romantic orientation to allow shipping hasn't helped the situation. I understand wanting to avoid the bullying and vitriol that can come with shipping wars and that there will be shipping and upset fans regardless of what the creators do, but that doesn't make it potentially less questionable or hurtful for aroace people who want good representation, which should be the bigger priority. Having asexual and aromantic people being represented by an icon who is being used as queerbait by the creators and erased to appease toxic fans and prioritise shipping would simply not be a good look, however unintentional or well-intentioned. Care has to be taken by everyone to avoid that. Yes, Alastor is a fictional character, but a person's attitude towards him can still potentially reflect their attitude towards real aroace people.

Remember, "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" is a reminder that asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums, not an excuse to justify erasure in disregarding a character's canon asexuality/aromanticism and projecting allosexuality/alloromanticism onto them. There is so little representation already. We don't need what little we have being taken away.

In that vain, I would appreciate it if Alastor's asexuality and aromanticism gets acknowledged a little more in the show. Use characters like Angel Dust and Rosie, who are more clued in to LGBTQ identities. Rosie could hint at her reasoning for suspecting Alastor is aroace or usher away some Cannibal Town admirers. We're probably not going to see Angel Dust hitting on Alastor again, but those are the only two scenes they've directly interacted with one another.

Perhaps the other two hellaverse aces from Helluva Boss could be somewhere else on the spectrum. Alastor is a sex repulsed aroace. Mammon could be sex favourable, considering he has no problem selling sex robots of his mascots. Octavia could be greysexual or demisexual, be more neutral about sex but could still want to find love at some point. Imagine the Goetia family trying to arrange a marriage for her. And what about more unusual dynamics, like one-sided ships or QPRs? Just some ideas, if only for fanfiction. They are both big spectrums. Let's have fun exploring them.

[newpathwrites]

Series Masterlist Main Masterlist

Chapter 8 - Confessions

Karga took a moment to ruminate over this information, the concept of not feeling attracted to anyone ever or practicing physical intimacy as a non sexual act being very foreign concepts. But he was just so happy that Mando finally shared something real with him that he could easily accept this even if his brain couldn’t fully process it. Finally, he responded. “And you’re happy with this arrangement?”

Din smiled under the helmet, despite the heat of his face, still burning with self-consciousness, completely unused to speaking of such things. “Yeah,” he said wistfully. “I’m happy… happier than I’ve ever been, honestly.”

Summary: Din and Cyar’ika each discuss their relationship and orientation with friends.

Note: My intention for this main storyline is for the relationship to remain sex-free forever. However, one thing I wanted to do in this fic was dispel a few myths about asexuality, which is why you’ll see that I’ve subtly left the option open for them to explore sexual intimacy at some point if they ever wanted to. Asexual people may choose to take part in sexual activities for all kinds of reasons despite a lack of sexual attraction - for these two, the reasons might be curiosity or finding new ways to enjoy physical closeness, for example. So the option is there, though I don’t intend for them to ever take it.

I will eventually post an alternate storyline which diverges from here where they do decide to explore this possibility in a very thoughtful and intentional way. You can read it on AO3 here.

Warnings: Alcohol, sexual references, non-sexual nudity (sort of).

Read on AO3

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Din Djarin and Boba Fett were really cut of the same cloth it seemed, each eternally in debt to the other for every little favor, the cycle never ending.  And so you found yourself again on Tatooine, Boba having insisted on accompanying Din to Nevarro when Greef Karga and Cara Dune called for assistance with an undisclosed problem (or rather, undisclosed to you).  Both Din and Boba were adamant that your services were not needed and that you should spend a few days relaxing at the palace with Fennec until their return.  You hoped their secrecy was a matter of limiting exchange of sensitive information and not one of expected danger.

  You and Din would be separated for only a few days most likely, but you realized that you’d never spent more than one standard day apart in the entire history of your partnership.  You would have thought nothing of that a year ago, but now that separation was a bit bothersome.  

  After recovering from the emotional ups and downs of the duel with Bo-Katan and its unexpected impact on your marriage, things had finally settled back into some sense of normalcy.  As usual, while out in public, nobody would think that the two of you were anything more than business partners, often taking separate jobs and keeping professional distance, though among friends, your attachment to each other had become even more obvious, easily falling into habitual affection around those you trusted.  At night in your own bed, you continued to enjoy physical closeness and the occasional kissing session, and the issue of sex had not come up again, both of you very content and comfortable with the status of your not-quite-platonic, not-quite-romantic relationship.

  —---------------------------

  It had taken most of the afternoon, but the weapons and supplies were loaded, and it was time for the two armored men to head out.  Boba and Fennec clearly couldn’t take a hint, not understanding your pointed glare, silently asking them to give you and Din some privacy to say your farewells.  You gave up on them and decided to work on Din instead, only to find him staring pointedly at you and turning his visor slightly to the side, apparently asking you to join him in another part of the hangar.

  The helmet was off the moment you were out of their sights, and his forehead came to rest on yours.  “I’m going to miss you, cyar’ika.  I don’t think I’ve ever been away from you this long before.”

  You sighed.  “It’s only a few days, Din.  I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”  You leaned in to kiss him once chastely before the helmet went back on as Fennec unexpectedly rounded the corner.

  “Hey, Djarin… DANK FARRIK, SORRY!”

  Fennec immediately turned around to give Din privacy as he whipped his head in the opposite direction to replace the helmet, leaving you standing awkwardly in between them, both of their backs to you.  Finally, Din’s modulated voice came through. “It’s fine, Fennec.  You can turn around.”

  “Boba sent me to get you - he’s ready to go.”  If Fennec was embarrassed by the situation, she didn’t show it, stoic as ever.

  “He’ll be right there.  Just give us a minute,” you told her, face burning from having been caught.  She gave you an amused smirk as she turned to walk away.

  Once she was gone, you pushed the visor up enough to place a brief kiss to his lips.  “I love you.  Stay safe.”

  “I always am, cyar’ika.  I love you, too.”  And with that, he was off, cape billowing behind him.

  —---------------------------

  Fennec turned out to be an excellent host, showing you many of the hidden gems in Mos Espa and even agreeing to accompany you on a day trip to check up on Freetown.  Still, she didn’t hover and left you often enough to your own devices to rest and recharge, much needed after a long string of difficult jobs.

  Not once did she bring up the ‘kissing incident’, and you thanked the Maker for that.  The embarrassment, which had plagued your every waking moment since, was finally starting to fade from your psyche.  It seemed Fennec had forgotten all about it.  But alas, you were not so fortunate…

  A rap at the door to your temporary quarters roused you from your lazy, evening contemplation.  “Hey, it’s our last night without the men!”  Fennec held an expensive-looking bottle of liquor in front of your face.  “I’ve got questions.  Come on,” she ordered with a turn of her head, gesturing for you to follow.  Not having the energy to refuse the formidable woman at this hour, you acquiesced and allowed her to lead you to her own quarters.

  You fell into easy conversation as the alcohol warmed your system, but once Fennec had adequately loosened your tongue, the real inquisition began.

  “So,” she started, “You and Mando… kissing… and acting very… ‘couple-ish’… When did that happen?”

  Between the alcohol warming your skin and sudden, overwhelming self-consciousness, it felt like your whole body was on fire.  Should you take the bait?  Probably not. But you kind of wanted to talk about it… or maybe that was just the alcohol…

  Anyway, your mouth was faster than your brain.  “The kissing has been going on for awhile,” you rushed out, “since before the last time we were here in Tatooine.  It’s nice.”  You shrugged, trying to pass it off as if it was no big deal.

  “Nice, huh?  You two behave more and more like a happily married couple in love.”  Fennec smirked.

  You might just burst into flames - you hated this kind of attention.  “Well,” you answered meekly, “We are a married couple, I am happy, and I do love him.”  There, successfully circumvented the issue - or so thought your alcohol-addled brain.

  “No, no, no… I think you are in love with him.  And he is in love with you.”  Fennec sat back in her chair, satisfied that she’d pegged you correctly.  “Maker above!” she suddenly exclaimed, sitting up straight again and looking directly into your face.  ”Did you two have sex?”  She slapped the table in glee.  “I knew it was just a matter of time!”

  You wished you could literally just sink into the floor and forget this night ever happened.  As much as you were comfortable with Din, discussing such things with anyone else was incredibly disconcerting.  Still, you sort of appreciated the opportunity to get another female perspective on your unconventional arrangement.  You mentally steeled yourself and attempted to release the butterflies gathering in your stomach.

  Deep breath.  “This is a little weird for me to talk about… Yes, things are different between us, but not… that different.”

  Fennec, to her credit, became more earnestly curious and shook off a bit of her inebriated mocking, now recognizing your discomfort.  “So what has changed then?  The last time you were here, you were pretty adamant that your relationship was entirely platonic.  I’ve always wondered how you two were so close without venturing into other territory…”

  Kriff, explaining this would require some backstory.  “Okay, so first… Din and I aren’t like most people.  Neither of us has ever felt attracted to anyone that way or had any sort of committed relationship in our adult lives.  I’ve loved him deeply for a long time, but truly, it was platonic, as hard as that is for people to believe.”

  “Hmm… I get it, I think,” Fennec replied thoughtfully.  “I can relate to not feeling romantically attracted at least - I’ve never wanted that.”

  You grinned at her, glad to find that someone understood at least part of this, and continued.  “The marriage, knowing his face, being allowed to touch him without the armor - somehow it changed things.  It was slow, but the more we connected face to face and the more we got accustomed to physical intimacy, we both found that we craved being close to each other.  But still, neither of us wants sex - it’s just not how we are.  And although we’re committed and love each other in a way that’s not strictly platonic, it’s really not quite romantic, either.  It’s difficult to explain.  We’ve stopped trying to label it and just let it be.”

  Fennec thought on this a moment before continuing her interrogation.  “Okay… so, if you don’t mind me asking, where do you both draw the line?  Kissing usually leads to other things…”

  Stars, now you were really diving in. “Well, since neither of us is inclined toward those other things, that’s generally not an issue.  Pretty much anything goes with the kissing - we just really enjoy the sensations and closeness I guess.  It really doesn’t get heated, even when… you know… tongues are involved… It’s not foreplay - just kissing for kissing’s sake.  We do a lot of cuddling and touching, too… more so, actually… but always over clothing and sticking to neutral areas.  It might sound weird to you, but it works well for us… It’s been very enjoyable…” 

  Fennec stared at you a long moment before speaking again.  “I’ll be honest… it does sound weird to me… But if it works for you, then that’s all that matters.”  A smirk appeared across her face.  “You said it ‘generally’ doesn’t lead to other things… so does that mean it has at some point?”

  You could feel your face heating up again.  You took a deep breath and pushed on. “Before the duel with Bo-Katan… We were terrified, emotional… It felt like our last moments together, and things started to get… out of hand… I stopped it before it got too far.  We weren’t thinking clearly, and I couldn’t bear the possibility of regret… It was the right decision.  Once the adrenaline wore off, that desire was gone.”

  “Do you think you’ll ever go there?” Fennec asked earnestly.

  “I don’t know, honestly.  I have curiosity about whether it could be a better experience with him - I trust him more than I’ve trusted anyone in my entire life.  And Din has expressed interest in trying it if I ever wanted to.  But I’ve got so much trauma from my previous relationship, and I don’t want to associate Din with that in any way.  Maybe I’ll feel differently someday, but for now, it’s off the table, and we’re both fine with that.”

  Fennec looked thoughtful, dropping the tough facade for a moment.  “Well, that’s fair.  Thanks for indulging my questions.  Just tell me one more thing… You really are happy?  Because I’ve known Mando for a long time, and he’s been different since you came along.  I didn’t know he was even capable of happiness, but that’s the read I get on him now… Quite an accomplishment on your part I think.”

  You felt a few tears sting your eyes at her kind words.  “Thanks, Fennec… Yeah, I’m happy, too.”

  “Okay, now that I’ve satisfied my curiosity about your relationship,” she leaned forward and placed both palms flat on the table with a wicked glint in her eye, “Is he as easy on the eyes without the helmet as he is with it on?  I’ve only ever seen the back of his head.”

  “Oh, Fennec… you have no idea…”

  She took another swig, giving you a mock salute.  “Good for you, my friend.”

  —---------------------------

  Though Din was anxious to get back to Tatooine… and you… he couldn’t pass up the offer to spend an evening catching up with his old friends, such opportunities so rare for people like them in this lonely galaxy.  Boba, on the other hand, was rather interested in the baths he kept hearing Karga go on about and decided to have a visit there himself before the long flight back home.

  Two full bottles of spotchka later, and working on a third between the three of them, Din was relaxed and pleasantly buzzed.

  “You know, Mando, you really should consider it.  The baths might be just what you need to relieve all of that… tension.”

  “I’m not tense.  I’m fine,” Din replied good-naturedly.

  Cara groaned.  “Please, give it up, Greef.  The man doesn’t even take his gloves off in public.  He’s obviously not going to strip naked at the baths.”  She took another long swig.  “Besides, he can take care of the tension in the comfort of his own bed with his beautiful wife,” she added.

  Karga grumbled under his breath with a raise of his eyebrow, “I’m not so sure he can…”

  “Greef!” Din reprimanded him lamely, the alcohol removing the intended bite from his tone.

  “Wait… what is this about?” Cara asked, sidling up to the table and looking between the two men.  “Is everything all right, Din?  You two seemed happy the last time we saw you.”

  “We were… we are…” Din started, slow to formulate an appropriate response.

  Karga, inhibitions lost, cut him off, blurting out in an unintentionally loud whisper in Cara’s direction, “They’ve never had sex!”

  Din didn’t respond, frozen in embarrassment, visor pointed down at the table, his silence speaking volumes.

  Cara spoke first, her voice incredulous.  “Seriously?  But you two are so close…. You share a bed…” Cara stopped herself abruptly and shook her head, taking in his withering posture, clearly uncomfortable.  “I’m sorry.  It’s none of our business.”

  He really shouldn’t discuss this without talking to you, right? But these were his best, and really only, close friends.  He’d had to hide so many parts of himself from them.  Maybe this - his connection to you - was something he could share.

  Din cleared his throat awkwardly.  “It’s okay… We have an unconventional relationship.  We, uhhh… touch a lot… and enjoy kissing… but neither of us wants a sexual relationship.”

  Now Karga was incredulous.  “How do you touch and kiss and share a bed and… not give in to temptation?”  He took another drink, adding under his breath, “You are a stronger man than I, Mando.”

  Sincerely wanting to be understood, Din countered,  “There has never been temptation… I really don’t experience that like most people, and neither does she.  Things did slowly change after we got married and the beskar was no longer a barrier between us, though.  We connected in a more intimate way, I guess, and we both found we enjoyed… physical closeness… but not the sexual kind.  We just don’t feel that.”

  Cara was thoughtful.  “Hmm… I didn’t realize not feeling that was possible.  I figured it was a natural response.  Doesn’t biology… you know… ‘do its thing’ once in a while?”

  Din’s face was growing more flushed by the second under the helmet, but he tried hard not to act as flustered as he felt.  “No, not usually.  There’s still biological needs, but I prefer to handle those myself than with another person.  We’ve both had sex before, when we were younger, but since it was never something either of us enjoyed, there’s really no draw to it, even when we’re doing physically intimate things.  Those things aren’t arousing for us - just ‘nice for the senses’ as she puts it.”

  Karga took a moment to ruminate over this information, the concept of not feeling attracted to anyone ever or practicing physical intimacy as a non sexual act being very foreign concepts.  But he was just so happy that Mando finally shared something real with him that he could easily accept this even if his brain couldn’t fully process it.  Finally, he responded.  “And you’re happy with this arrangement?”

  Din smiled under the helmet, despite the heat of his face, still burning with self-consciousness, completely unused to speaking of such things.  “Yeah,” he said wistfully.  “I’m happy… happier than I’ve ever been, honestly.”

  “You sound like a man in love,” Cara’s voice betrayed her typically stoic nature, so pleased to know that her rough but unexpectedly kind friend had found some happiness.

  Din replied with emotion, voice cracking a bit, as the alcohol made his thoughts of you even softer than usual, “I’ve loved her… like a close friend… or like family… for years.  It feels different now, more committed and more intimate… but I’m not in love with her in the romantic sense.  I don’t think either of us is capable of that - or even knows what it should feel like.  I wish there was a word to explain it - it’s not platonic, as I feel for both of you, for example, but it’s not quite romantic, either.”

  Cara smiled as she stood up from the table and placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Well, I should hit the sheets.  I’ve got work tomorrow.  However you define it, I’m really happy for you, Din.  You seem different with her - calmer… at peace… and you deserve that.”

  He briefly touched the back of her hand with his gloved fingers, as he replied genuinely, “Thanks, Cara.  I mean it.”

  Once the door shut behind her, Karga cleared his throat loudly.  “All right… I have a follow-up question.  I understand if you prefer not to answer…”  Din nodded for him to continue.  “You said it usually doesn’t get heated, which suggests that at some point it has…”

  Din cleared his throat uncomfortably but replied honestly.  “Before the fight with Bo-Katan… We were both sure I was about to die… It felt like I couldn’t get close enough to satisfy my last moments with her…” Din’s voice was becoming strained, and Karga put a hand on his shoulder in comfort.  “The adrenaline probably… led me to initiate some things… But she had her head on straight enough to stop it… It’s the only time either of us has ever felt true sexual desire, but it didn’t last once the adrenaline wore off, and it would have been a mistake.  She has so much trauma, and I could never have forgiven myself if I’d contributed to that.  She’s told me not to feel guilty, but the shame of having initiated it at all still keeps me up some nights.”

  “Din,” Karga used his given name to convey his seriousness.  “You did nothing wrong.  It sounds like the confusion was mutual… and a very normal human response, by the way... You need to let go of this guilt.”  Din relaxed slightly but didn’t look entirely convinced.  Karga pressed on, still worried at the tone of this typically self-assured warrior.  “Tell me - was she upset about it?”

  Din answered quickly, “No, not at all.”  He even managed a chuckle.  “She was as kind and level-headed about it as she is about everything else.  We talked about it the next morning.  She’s not ready for that and likely won’t ever be… And I’m honestly indifferent.  I’m curious what it could be like with someone I trust the way I do her.  But I don’t need to satisfy that curiosity.  I’m happy with our relationship as it is.  If she ever changes her mind, then maybe it’s a possibility.”

  “Well, Mando, despite its… oddness… your relationship is… enviable…. Men like us don’t often have the opportunity to be close to someone the way you two are, and I’m so glad you’ve found your version of happiness.  It suits you.”

  “Thanks, Greef.  I never would have believed it before I met her, but it does suit me.”

  —--------------------------

  You stood under the hot shower at home in your own ship, trying to wash away your anxiety.  Din had commed to let you know he was running late heading back from Nevarro and to meet him at the ship in a few hours.  But that was five hours ago… and he hadn’t called since.  Radio silence wasn’t really that unusual for him, communication of delays and altered plans often slipping his mind when piloting or focused on a job.  You tried not to get too worked up about it, but as hours passed, you could no longer control the anxious thoughts that flooded your mind.

  But now alone with your thoughts in the small shower stall, memories of your conversation with Fennec brought a new kind of angst - embarrassed self-consciousness over sharing the intimate details of your relationship.  To be completely honest, though, it was nice to talk to someone about it and let it be known among friends what you and Din were to each other.

  A sudden jolt took you out of your own head as you registered heavy footsteps approaching the fresher door.  You hadn’t even heard the ramp, and Din would have announced his presence.  Kriff, you had nothing but a thin towel at your disposal - no clothes and no weapons.  

  You braced yourself for a fight and held the threadbare towel closed at your chest, fingers in a death grip.  The knob turned, and the door began to slowly open...  And there stood your husband… turning redder by the second.

  You let out the breath you’d been holding as your grip on the towel loosened enough to allow circulation to return to your fingers.  “DANK FARRIK, Din!  You nearly scared the life out of me!  You’re lucky I didn’t have my blaster in here…”  You paused your reprimand as you assessed the situation.  “Why in the Maker’s name would you sneak up on me in the fresher?”

  “I was… excited to see you…” he said guiltily, feeling terrible that he’d induced such a fearful reaction.  Maybe he hadn’t thought this through. “It didn’t occur to me in the moment that you were obviously… naked in here…”

  You didn’t really know what to say to that.  All you could manage at that moment was a slightly lame, “It’s all right… We’ve seen all the parts before, so… no harm done… ”

  “I just… missed you… Surprising you seemed like a good idea in the moment… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you… I’ll just go wait out here…”

  You took a large step forward to grab his arm with your free hand as he turned back toward the bunk.  Maker, this sweet man. “Din, come back in here.”

  “Are you sure it’s all right?  I should give you some privacy to get dressed first.”

  You didn’t answer but instead turned off the shower as you tightened the towel a bit more and dragged him gently by the arm to join you in the small space, resting your forehead on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his torso.  His head fell into its usual position in the crook of your neck, hands caressing your back, and you just stood there together, relishing in being close to each other again after your brief separation.  Finally, you spoke into his shirt, “I missed you, too… This is nice.”

  His chest rumbled as he chuckled lightly, “Well, I’m still sorry.  Seeing parts when you’re injured and actively dying is a bit different than walking in on you in the fresher.  I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

  “It’s really all right, Din.  Let’s just make a habit of knocking, yes?”  You kissed him firmly, all forgiven.  “By the way, Fennec got me drunk and made me tell her all of the intimate details of our relationship…”

  If he was upset, he certainly didn’t show it, as his chest rumbled again with laughter.  “Well then I don’t feel badly about everything I told Cara and Greef over a few pints of spotchka.”  You giggled at the mental image of your inebriated mandalorian spilling his heart out to his equally battle-hardened friends.  “I’m not sure they entirely understand, but they did try.  Apparently, you and I are quite the anomaly.”

  “I believe the word Fennec used was ‘weird’.”

  “Does it bother you, cyar’ika?” Din asked tentatively, “that our friends think our relationship is strange?”

  “No, Din, not in the slightest.  I am very much at peace with myself… and you…. It doesn’t matter that others find it odd.  I never thought I could have this kind of happiness.”  You smiled up at him, the soft moment interrupted by a sudden shiver shaking your still wet form.

  “You really do make me so happy, Cyar’ika… I hope you know that… Come on, let’s get you warmed up.”  He pulled away from you, careful to keep the thin towel in place, and guided you to the sleeping quarters, warm hands vigorously rubbing your shoulders as you went.

  You assumed he’d leave you then, to give you privacy to put on your night clothes.  But instead, he stayed and rifled through your drawers, clearly searching for something in particular.  Finally, he found what he was looking for and turned to you triumphantly. Maker, it was the wool nightgown you’d inherited from your mother - ugly but insulating, something you’d kept mostly for sentimental reasons.  And he remembered, all this time later.

  As he pulled the thick cloth over your head, keeping eyes averted and hands safely by your shoulders as the towel fell to the floor, you were awestruck by the complete lack of awkwardness and discomfort in this vulnerable situation… a man dressing your nearly nude form, respectfully, and with no other intention except to make you warm… and you were fine with it.

  You almost didn’t recognize yourself these days - completely comfortable with such intimate things that once would have struck anxiety and fear in your heart.  With him, it was so easy… It made you wonder what other things might be possible… You would have to think on that a bit more…

  Newfound comfort levels aside, you were feeling perfectly content with the current status quo - having established the validity of your unconventional but committed relationship with trusted friends and having reinforced its importance in your life and your happiness. 

  A piece of paper that would solve all of your problems - that’s what Fennec had called this marriage all that time ago when she first made the suggestion.  Stars, it was so much more... As Din had once said, on the same day you’d consummated this marriage no less (Mandalorian style, anyway), it was truly the greatest blessing of your life.

————————————————————————

Thanks for reading!

Next chapter

[matan4il]

Hi, love your blog, this became kinda long sorry 😅

I just wanted to say that maybe it’s just me but I’ve never really had hope for buddie to be confirmed in the first place. Like I do ship them and if they did become canon I would be very happily surprised but really it’s just never something I’ve entertained as a possibility because we just don’t get ships like this imo. There’s a few exceptions even if I can’t think about this right now but when a character’s introduced as straight or nothing has been said so usually assumed straight and then fandom ships them with an equally assumed straight person the show and networks and all that don’t want them together because they’re ‘normal straight people’.

Like in LS from the beginning TK’s introduced with a bf he wants to propose to, they don’t lose their ‘normal’ character (obvs it is normal to be whatever flavour of queer you are but idk how to word it better) since that was him from the start.

Also if it’s acknowledged that all the buddie moments were building up to a romantic relationship then it sheds light on other similar relationships in other shows or films that we were ridiculed for shipping when really it’s not so different. I really don’t know if I got my point across here and I’m sorry this got so long winded, maybe I’m just a cynic but I think my buddie dreams will have to be contented with fanfiction.

Btw I don’t mean this to be mean to you or anyone who does believe buddie will go canon in the show I just accidentally typed out this rant that was meant to be a short ask.

Hi Nonnie, thank you so much for the kind words! Kindness always mean so much to me, there is nothing I appreciate as much... Sending you tons of love!

So, I fully agree with everything you said. I've mentioned before that there are almost no slow burns for mlm couples on TV. A part of that is that shows need to show they meet the diversity quota from the start. So we tend to get either pre-established same sex couples (like Henren), or quick burns, where we know from the start where this is going (like Mavid and Tarlos). Even if we have a character assumed straight that's gonna be discovered to be something else (gay or, more rarely, bi), that will be something we the audience will discover pretty early on. Shows don't like rocking the boat, they don't like threatening audiences' sense of security when it comes to sexual orientation. But there are exceptions! BIG round of applause to Black Sails for being the most brilliant about it with men, if we expand to women, I can also point to Callie Torres and Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy, who were both introduced as straight, became best friends and then slowly, realized they were into each other. Callie figured out she was bi, while Erica was hit by a realization she was always gay, she just didn't know she was because until she was with a woman, she couldn't tell something was missing in her r/s with men.

My point isn't to convince you, BTW! I think it is SUPER legit if you don't think Buddie is going canon. It is SUPER legit to think they are. It is SUPER legit to be confused, unsure, go back and forth or not give a damn. Wherever you're at, I support you, and I think your enjoyment in fandom is what matters! I also think you specifically have a slight advantage: if you don't need Buddie going canon and they do, then yay, right? But if they don't, you won't be disappointed. You'll be able to continue to enjoy the show and Buddie, same as before. It's a part of why I try not to get my expectations up, even though I do hope for canon!Buddie. 'Coz I wanna be able to enjoy their love story no matter what. Whatever Tim and Kristen do, Buddie is canon to me. And I don't want anyone taking that away from me. So while I tend to think 911 may have the balls to be one of the few exceptions, I'll be here even if it doesn't.

Basically, your POV is welcome here, as is that of others. I hope ranting helped and you feel good! ^u^ Have a great day!

You might notice, I'm scheduling a lot of replies to post on the same day, I am trying to catch up with my asks. If you're worried you might have missed one, as always, here's my ask tag. xoxox

[xxxmasterkali]

Ventus McCartney

Basic Info Name: Ventus Eugene McCartney Birthday: June 13th, 1988 Age: 24 Address: San Sequoia VA: Jesse McCartney Sexual Orientation: Straight Astrological Sign: Gemini Aspiration: Athletic Favorite Color: Grey Sim Characteristics: High Energy, Family Motivated Likes: Fitness, Mischeif, Rock Climbing, Video Games Dislikes: Gardening, Writing, Programming Fears: Rodents Traits: Excitable, Survivalist, Salty, Carefree, Committed, Incredibly Friendly, Sincere, Gentle, Heavy Sleeper, Kindness Ambassador, Beloved, Gregarious, Jester, Hero, Loud, Innocent Lifestyles: Energetic, Close Knit, Outdoorsy Self Image: Neutral Self Image

NSFW Info Virgin: Yes Alcohol: Yes Cigarette Smoker: No Drugs: No Wicked Attributes: None

Physical & Mental Health Physical: High Metabolism Mental: No known issues

Milestones Teen: Adopted a Pet, Fell in Love, First Kiss, Started Romantic Relationship, Break Up, Graduated High School

Young Adult: Started a New Relationship, First Woohoo, Earned College Degree

Family Parents: Clay McCartney & Toni McCartney (Fling) Stepparents: Dominick McCartney Siblings: Diamond McCartney (Half Little Sister) Family Pets: Snuggs (Cat) Financial Status: Average Ven & Strelitzia's Pets: Rainbow (Dog), Daisy (Cat)

High School High School: Destati High (Graduated) Grade: B Student Popularity: Average Social Group: Floaters Affinity: Doesn’t Care About Popularity

College College: Hikari University Major: History Earned Degree in History

Work Previous Job: Barista (Part Time) (HU) Career:

Friends Best Friends: Terra Dohring & Aqua Holland Close Friends: Sora Osment, Axel Flynn & Strelitzia Ferguson

Romance Relationship Status: In a Relationship First Kiss: Adrian Silversweater Crush/Partner: Strelitzia Ferguson Ex Relationships: Adrian Silversweater Sexual Partners: Strelitzia Ferguson

Situation (DH) Ventus has strong feelings for Strelitzia Ferguson, & finds it frustrating that she chooses to sleep with other people when he could love her the way she wants to be & wouldn't break her heart. Ven is also cousins with Roxas McCartney, but his parents won't communicate or come around Roxas' parents for some reason, even though they're dads are brothers. Ven doesn't think too much about it & shrugs it off, but he occasionally wonders why.

UPDATE: Ven finally decides to start a relationship with Adrian. After dating her for a couple months, he finds Strelitzia crying at the park & comforts her. The two end up kissing & Ven feels incredibly guilty for cheating on Adrian. He decides to tell Adrian the truth & she breaks up with him. Ven has yet to talk to Strelitzia about the kiss, because she currently has a lot going on & he doesn't want to add to the pressure. Axel points out how Ven & Roxas look identical & then they both become more curious to their parents history. Come to find out, Ven finds out Roxas' father is his real father, & that he & Roxas are twin brothers.

Situation (HU) Ven & Roxas are able to patch things up between their families. He's still struggling with recognizing Roxas' dad as his own, & not his uncle. Ven is close to his mother's husband, who he always thought was his dad & he always treated him as such. Ven is still crushing on Strelitzia & hasn't shared his real feelings with her yet. He tries to accept that she's happy with her new girlfriend & move on but Strelitzia gives him steady hints that it's actually him she's in love with. Skuld blurts to Strelitzia how she knows they both love each other & then Skuld tells Ven. Ven finally makes it known to her about his feelings for her & they begin a relationship & sleep together.

Memories

Shout out to the wonderful modders & content creators out there! Most of the information here I was able to add to each character courtesy of Radiophobe, Heleane, BasementalCC, TurboDriver, Chingyu, Kuttoe, YourFalseHope, adeepindigo, & littlemssam. Hairstyles were also created by racoonium! Link below for the Mods/CC/Sets/Animations that I have used in my KH Sims videos!

Mods/CC/Animation/Sets

Character Bios for Destati High & Hikari University

[geshertzarmeod]

In Other Lands Character Arcs

(Spoilers Abound)

I’m thinking about how the character arcs of all three main characters from In Other Lands center largely on moving away from what their families expected of them, even as each of them doesn’t necessarily think moving away from that is possible. And how it’s their relationships with each other that help them move in the directions they actually want to move in, and believe in their abilities to forge their own paths and lead fulfilling lives. Even if it’s not what their parents or home communities think a fulfilling life entails. This culminates in their refusal (along with Golden) at the end of the book, to let anyone else influence them when it comes to deciding where to be stationed. They’re ready to choose their own paths, together.

There’s something deeply appealing to me about this as a queer person, even as queerness (as defined by orientation or gender) is not actually a central factor in the shifting of each character’s relationship with their families. Actually, the character who comes closest to that is Serene, who is presumedly straight, but whose pushback against the rigid gendered expectations of her society so challenge her community that she and Golden are essentially banished at least for a time. This is only tangentially queer, I’d say, because she does this not for herself, as she seems to proudly fit & identify with elven womanhood, but recognizes the false limiting of manhood within her society and fights fiercely for Luke, Elliot, and eventually Golden, who I’d say is GNC for sure. For Luke, it’s not his being gay but his being monogamous and waiting longer than they expected (though he’s like, still 17!!! that’s still young!!!) to become sexually or romantically active that is off-putting to his family. For Elliot, his father is shocked not to see him with a man, but to see him happy (cue my tears). 

I was just thinking this after reading Girl, Serpent, Thorn especially, but I really love when queer books parallel queer narratives of shame and struggle and difference and growing pains, with queer characters, but about issues unrelated to their being queer (especially when they’re about magical/fantasy elements). Then we get to relate to queer characters and see them process a lot of the feelings we have experienced, but also get to see them be loved and value and supported unconditionally in their queerness. Anyway, for an individual analysis:

Luke Sunborn

First, because I know a lot of people might not have read it, I’m going to quote Luke’s perspective from Wings In The Morning:

There were reasons Luke hadn’t kissed anybody. The Sunborns, as a family, loved life and loved love, and treated it as a game. It was fine for them: it worked for them.

Luke had always known that a riot of brightness and different loves and leaving someone laughing was beyond him. He wanted kindness and steadiness: he did not want someone who would leave. He wanted love that would last. (location 2527 in my kindle book, I can’t tell what page)

Luke, the Sunborn champion, expected to excel in battle, and love (read: have sex) freely and easily and non-monogamously, becoming an avid reader because of Elliot - something his father is shocked by and a little ashamed of. Learning Elvish because of both of them. Breaking border camp rules, threatening superior officers, to protect Elliot, and to support Serene, even as he continually complains about it and, on paper, would always argue that those choices are Not Okay and Very Bad. Luke, whose bashful shyness around his crushes, whose concern over his first kiss, whose choice of Elliot as a partner, is incomprehensible to his family, snapping, “I don’t want anyone else,” at the elves. He’s chosen Elliot, even as Elliot still doesn’t at all believe it at that point, and he’s happy with that decision. Elliot’s his choice, and only Elliot. Notorious Sunborn sexual voracity be damned.

Luke’s journey is also largely about him working through his external, and later internalized, biases against magical creatures. It’s pretty clearly an analog to xenophobia, and Luke expresses more disgust, disdain, or fear, the more different a culture is from the one he grew up in. This obviously becomes internalized against himself, when he realizes he is half-harpy. He literally represses his wings from coming out, he sees harpies as monsters and includes himself within this. It’s awful, and it’s sad, and it’s a mixture of Elliot’s meticulous research and adamant arguments that harpies are people, and that Luke isn’t a monster at all (and neither are harpies and other non-human creatures), and Serene’s calm acceptance of him, that helps him move through this. 

This xenophobia, although clearly ingrained since childhood, don’t seem to be coming primarily from his family (certainly not from his mother) but from the culture of the borderguard in general. To me, it is implied that his father might at least casually buy into a lot of this, although he would never extend it to his son. It also is an interesting dynamic as related to the other two’s relationships with family, because Luke coming to love and accept himself, and to open his mind about non-human creatures, is actually him coming closer to his mother, rather than moving away. In my view, a part of why he bought in so clearly to this prejudice coming from the general bordercamp culture is because he was pushing away from his parents in the first place - he saw his parents being so wild and free in a way he knew he could never be that he pushed himself into the opposite side, into “reason” and restraint and conservatism. What he needed to learn was how to hold his more “traditional” wants and needs (although like, he’s kind of wrong about that. Elliott Schafer is not the traditional kind quiet love he’s imagining, and he didn’t want that anyway) while still celebrating all of the different approaches and cultures and loves out there, and that’s what he’s learning alongside Elliot and Serene. And he does this partially because Elliot’s love for him as a half-harpy is, according to his previous beliefs, just as wild and out there as his mother’s affair with his biological father, or all of Elliot’s flirting with various magical creatures. And as he accepts Elliot’s love, he accepts that too.

Serene-Heart-In-The-Chaos-of-Battle

From the first moment we meet Serene we know she ran away from home to join the border camp. She’s chosen to join the humans, to fight alongside men, to learn about the borderlands from a human perspective and use that to create an alliance and to create peace. She enters a world where she is looked down on, where she is sexualized and punished for trying to swim shirtless, and has to fight hard to take the classes she wants and have the opportunity to prove herself as she wishes. Instead of deciding her parents and community were right and going back to the elves, she digs her heels in and with Elliot and Luke’s help, fights back, fights to excel at the border camp and make things different and better, and prove her detractors wrong. 

Not only that, but she learns to respect men in a way she was not raised to do, learns to treat men as equals and partners, always defending both Elliot and Luke when her community disrespects them. This prepares her for her relationship with Golden (although Elliot still helps her along a lot, especially with their written correspondence) and ends in her and Golden essentially eloping after Golden ran away to fight alongside her. It’s also important that she accepts Golden fighting alongside her. That was not at all a given, especially as even towards the middle of the book, she seems to be thinking of human men as capable of fighting and strength and other “womanly” qualities, but not necessarily believing the same of elven men. She’s chosen a nontraditional path and a GNC partner in Golden, and for the time being, her closest family is not her blood but her beautiful boyfriend, her swordsister, and her loved and loving best friend Elliot.

Elliot Schafer

Last but the opposite of least is Elliot. What Elliot learned from his family is that he will come to nothing, that he will be forgotten, and that he will not be loved. I am so angry on this child’s behalf, for the ways he was neglected not only by his parents but by everyone before Serene. The ways his father had no interest in him because all he wanted was Elliot’s mother back (and I love Elliot’s observation that even if his mother did come back, his father wouldn’t know what to do, and would not be happy). The way his teacher literally accepted a small bribe to just...... leave him at the entrance to the borderlands, and none of the students cared. The way his mother not only left when he was a child but knew who he was the second she saw or even heard about him at the bordercamp, and never bothered to tell him, or show any interest in him whatsoever.Elliot has been taught, over and over again, that he is unwanted and uncared for. That he has to go it alone, and fill his own needs.

Elliot learns to respect Commander Woodsinger and to know that while she doesn’t necessarily love him, she knows him, and appreciates who and what he is, and sees value and strength in it. She, unlike his previous teachers and school professionals, understands him, and likes him, and values him. She’s not warm, but she’s a positive presence in his life, and part of him learning to believe he has value just as he is, and not just because he spitefully decided it to go against what everyone else has told him, but because it’s actually true.

He didn’t want his parents and his peers and the adults who have let him down to be right about this, so he does dream of being loved back. But he shows himself fully prepared to be the one who loves more in relationships, especially with Serene. He’s ready, at first, to take all she’ll give him, and revel in each part of it, even if it doesn’t match up to his love for her. It’s not until the moment he turns down Serene’s final advance (when she’s clearly settling for him) that he realizes how much he wants to be chosen first. And he believes that’s possible, and worth waiting for (and that in the meantime, he will help Serene up and help her find what she truly wants too).

Elliot knows Serene loves him. She shows him he deserves love, and in his devotion to her, Elliot begins to excel and challenge himself and learn to see his brand of obnoxiousness as something that might not be everyone’s taste but isn’t inherently bad. He trusts Serene to love him, at least as a friend, but he doesn’t trust that Luke will, because Luke reminds him of all of the kids who hurt him in the past.

And that’s why the slowest arc of this whole book is probably Elliot realizing that Luke.... actually likes him. Actually wants to be around him, and enjoys his presence, and even like-likes him - loves him even. It just can’t compute for him. And so we get basically an unreliable narration for most of the book regarding Luke. Elliot’s “aha” moment about Luke rewrites years of his life, shifting his understanding of so much of their lives together. And it solidifies Elliot’s discovery that he can be loved exactly as he is, obnoxious and annoying and all. He’s found people who love him for it, and they’ve chosen him, and they’re going to stick around.

[ultimate-marysue]

So, about Bi Caleb

Warning: very long post, discussing bi representation and biphobia.

*Sorry for spelling errors, English ain’t my firts language.

I can’t believe I have to tell you guys, but anyways: Caleb is bi whether he ends with a male character, a female character on a non binary character. That’s what bi people do, you know? they experience atraction for all genders. Saying that a bi character that ends with someone of the opposite gender is straight and queerbaiting is incredibly biphobic.

Yes, Vax was bisexual. Yes, he ended up with Kiki. Get fucking over it.

Now, I can understand why LGBT+ fans may feel disappointed when they tease a “gay couple” but the “straigth” couple ends up being endgame. Notice the quotation marks because there’s not such thing as a straight or gay couple for a bi person. They are bisexual in both situations, but I can see where the problem comes from. I’ve been queerbaited to hell and back by a lot of shows and it really hurts. It feels like they are laughting at you for caring. But I want those fans (whose feelings are totally valid, don’t get me wrong) to consider a few things when it comes to Critical Role, the first one being: it’s a D&D game.

Let me explain, because I know a lot of CR fans haven’t experienced what D&D is like in real life (and that’s absolutely valid, you don’t need to play D&D to enjoy CR). This is an improvisation game, not an scripted TV show. In a Tv show you can plan ahead of time what ship is going to be endgame, what themes are gonna come up for each character and it’s easier to deeply explore sexuality and gender as different planned arcs. In D&D you character’s sexuality may or may not come up depending on how you play it. Take for instance how other CR character’s have stated their sexuality:

Beau: overtly. Very *In your face* kind of lesbian. Marisha said “fuck it, I really just want to romance girls and be bad ass”

Yasha: openly, but not as in your face. Ashley Jhonson wanted to drink from that WLW cup while also being a shy disaster. Seafood market is her favored terrain.

Caduceus: Our Ace king has never hidden his sexuality, and yet he didn’t mention anything about it until chapter 114. He didn’t had the need to either hide it or state it. He was simply vibing.

I think Liam is going that route with Caleb. He’s flustered by Essek and Edwulf (Come on you guys, he always asks Matthew if he’s still hot). He also had/has a thing for Astrid and a think he might have feels for our favorite Tiefling gal. I know we are all too used to characters being teased as gay/bi only to have execs pull a “haha jk they be straight”. But this is not Sherlock or Supernatural. This is a show that not only has queer rep, but also supports queer organizations and creators. Hell, I’m sure some of the cast members are LGBT (but I’m not here to speculate on real people’s sexuality). If Caleb shows attraction to men he is not just queerbaiting, doing it for fanservicing or tricking the fans in any way shape or form: he’s just portraying a bi character. The thing is, since this is not a TV show, he is not doing it por woke points or to send a message. He’s doing it because he wants to play a bi wizard with depression.

So maybe there will be a point in which he can explores his sexuality more deeply, but remember he is playing a game. And his character is one that has a lot of trouble opening up to his feelings. Caleb is not someone that makes sexual jokes or flirty remarks. He is shy, awkward and has developed a really fucked up sense of love that he is now slowly fixing. Hell, in the same Talks episode Liam explained that Caleb was trained on Honey-pot tactics. Which, for those of you who can’t stand Bond films, means seducing your enemy/target to get information, manipulate them or assassinate them. WHICH IS A REALLY FUCKED UP THING! Let’s remember how he was the one to push Fjord to sleep with Advantica so they could spy on her. That boy has Issues when it comes to relationships. So if we don’t see him being as overtly gay as Beau, Molly or Yasha, well maybe it’s because that’s the way Caleb is. Bi people don’t owe you flamboyance, or dating both guys and gals for your approval. I wouldn’t make a post if it was only that, because I do feel the people who are aching for good bi rep and would love some more explicit confirmation. But Vax exists, so I know we can’t have good things down here.

VAX EXPLICITELY SHOWED ATTRACTION TO GILMORE. AS EXPLICIT AS IT GETS. HE FUCKING KISSED HIM. THEY WERE PRACTICALLY DATING. AND YET SOME OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM QUEERBAITING. AND I SAY: NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!

How come a character can have canonically kissed another character in a romantic/sensual context and still be called straight? I know fucking Sherlock traumaticed y’all into having trust issues but believe me when I tell you: I’ts not that deep. This is not a “Haha I love u but in a no homo way bro”. It’s a “full homo darling, but also we’re gonna break up because I like someone else”. This is the opposite of queerbaiting. Instead of keeping a charade he was honest with Gilmore because he valued his feelings and realized that he couldn’t reciprocate them at that moment. And if you try to tell me that Vaxleth was forced and didn’t have a reason to exist except queerbaiting, let me tell you: you are wrong.

Vax saw Gilmore once or twice monthly while he spent a heck ton of time with Kiki. Sure, they didn’t had the kind of camera chemistry Gilmore and Vax had because Keyleth is not charismatic. She’s really awkward, and her relationship with Vax was more on the adorable and dorky side of things. I bring this up because I’m predicting something similar may happen to Shadowgast.

Trust me, I ship the hot wizards as much as any other critter (even though I’m a multishipper). But they haven’t talked to Essek in centuries. I think it may have been almost a month in rol and quite a few outside. And you have to take into account out-rol time to because they are humans (except Tal) playing a game and they forget about stuff (except Marisha and Matt). So Shadowgast may not happen because sure, they had really good chemistry for a month a month ago. People have crushes that die down over time All The Time. So maybe don’t be so butthurt about your ship not being canon that you accuse an ally of homophobia. 

The cast of CR put forward such an amazing representation for the LGBT+ community and it really hurts me that you gets stuck on the one thing that isn’t canon. Matt has created a world in which coming out is not necessary because no one assumes your sexuality. A world in which people respect pronouns and orientations (except Tary’s father, who is a villain). A world in which Cad or Caleb don’t need to explicitly say “I’m ace/bi” unless it comes up in conversation. A world in which his friends can be whatever they want to be without pressure or reprecusions. A world in which they get to explore different gender identities and sexual orientations with full freedom. Let’s not interfere with that (unless there’s missrepresentation), and let them play their game. If you really need mlm or wlw canon couples or more outwardly LGBT+ people you have plenty examples among NPCs and other cast members (Allura and kima, Yasha, Beau, Dairon, Keg, Reani, Tary, Molly and Vax among others).

There’s way worst shows taking LGBT+ cred for barely doing nothing. Fucking Supernatural is the most recent example! Critical Role works towards showing an honest portrayal of LGBT+ folk and accepts valid criticism from their fans on the subject (when they changed J’Mon Sa Ord pronouns from it to they/them). They don’t owe you making your ship canon or portraying their characters the way you want them to (again, unless when it’s constructive criticism). Stop being so Fucking entitled and enjoy the show for what it is

,Respectfully~

*Edit: I´m tagging Caleb’s ships into the post because most hate comes from shipping wars. Most Shadowgast fans are respectful of the cast’s decisions, even if it disappoints them. But since I’ve already seen people accusing Liam of biphobia in that tag and since I’ve already seen this shit with Vaxmore I’m tagging the ship. If you want to read my long ass post do it, if not, ignore it. I’m not forcing you to read it. I’ve also tagged it with biphobia so people can avoid it if it’s triggering. I’m sorry if it makes you mad that your ship is not canon, but that’s not an excuse to be toxic to the cast. Those of you getting mad are the ones that need to read this the most. Like I’ve said in the post: you’re allowed to be disappointed, you are allowed to want more, but you can’t force the cast to give you exactly what you want. And most certainly, you can’t accuse them of  some very serious stuff like biphobia and queerbaiting when it’s not the case..  

[nafeary]

Napoleon, Theodorus, and le Comte’s Reaction to MC saying “I love you” first

Anon asked:

Hey there! I really like all the stuff on your blog, so could you do the suitors reactions to you saying I love you for the first time (like, if the route plots didn’t really happen). If all of them are too much, maybe just Napoleon, Theo and Comte. Maybe also include a little scenario? Thanks in advance.

✧✎ A/N: Heya, sweetest anon! Thank you so much for this request (and for including three of the daddy line), this was really fun to do~

Theo’s got... slightly longer than the others (almost a whole scenario by itself whoops). Don’t worry Napoleon. I have a WIP of yours. Thanks @juminly and @delicateikemenmemes for helping me out with Theo, and @marie-quentin for giving me a quick crash course in French. Drink water, y’all :))))

Warnings: slight suggestiveness, and implied sexual activities.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Pardon? Could you run that by him again?

It had been a morning like any other, welcoming the culprit who’d come to wake him up with his wonted kisses

However, this time around, he hadn’t met an interfering hand—which was by far his favored option. The other ones entailed pillows, fists, and even a certain someone’s foil

So when he met lips, molding together with his like a familiar imprint, he immediately shook off his fatigue, surprised to see his lover before him

His astonishment didn’t stem from the kiss itself (as you’ve done way more than just that), but you’ve never indulged in his habit before

Not only that, but it felt so much more...

Intimate. Passionate. Amorous...

Romantic. Purely romantic.

Your hands rose to his cheeks, cupping them in an ever so gentle embrace. Feeling almost weightless within your gentle expression, he sighed in the intimate comfort only one’s other half could provide.

“‘Leon?” The most idyllic melody made his eyes open, blinking a few times to adjust to the sun’s flaxen rays. He had to halt a few moments, for as his eyes managed to adjust, the golden glow hugging your form truly made you appear out of this world.

“Yes, nunuche?” Your loving and tender gaze almost made him melt, and it was a miracle that his question sounded as nonchalant as he was hoping for it to be.

“I love you.”

Napoleon couldn’t help the pounding of his heart. In all his years, no one had ever managed to make him feel so precious. Of course, he’s had his previous lovers, but as you stood before him like an angel of fortune, holding his head up in a pretense of it being the most wondrous diamond...

He couldn’t help the laughter spilling from his lips. At your affronted expression, he pulled you to his side, your cheek squished against his neck. Closing your eyes against his laughter’s shock waves—tens on the Richter scale—you couldn’t prevent the pout from conquering face.

Napoleon halted his laughter, although not completely, and his arms cocooned your midriff to lean in. Your toes curled as his lips brushed your ear.

“Je t’adore, nunuche.”

Theodorus Van Gogh

You might have to bring him to Isaac or Leonardo to fix, because you’ve completely broken this guy

He always expected to say it first, so he’s kinda mad??? But also really touched??? Fix him, please

It was no secret that Theodorus Van Gogh considered himself to be very domineering

Not because he wants the other person to feel save and protected... it was simply due to convenience pssst don’t tell him

Of course, he found it more than endearing when his girlfriend took the leash from time to time, and he genuinely enjoys her initiations of affection

Everyday, it took Theo all the self control he could muster up not to break into a smile at the sight of you, not to pick you up and whirl you around, not to throw you over his shoulder to carry you to his room...

Anyway, if you were to tell him the famous three words first, he’d be pure molasses in your hands

“Do you need more syrup, Theo?”

While the amount of liquid gold suggested the attendance of the entire mansion, it was only himself and his lover at breakfast. You had risen later than usual (due to certain nightly activities), and Sebastian was so kind as to allow you a day off.

“We’ll see,” he murmured, nevertheless thanking you when you brought him more with a disbelieving snort.

As you ate breakfast in the kitchen, not wanting to bother yourselves with setting everything up in the dining hall, he did not let your “inconspicuous” array of glances go unnoticed. Whenever he caught your eyes, you’d quickly avert your own, a faint blush dusting your skin. Perplexity marred his mind at your bashful actions.

Just when you stood up to do the dishes, he grabbed your arm, turning you around to trap you successfully underneath his form. Bewildered, you squirmed in his grasp, but that only made him pin your wrists in place. While this might not be your first time in this particular position, you could still only huff at his stern expression. “What did I do now? Do you always have to—“

“Quit your yapping, Hondje. Is there something on my face, or why do you keep on staring at me?” he spoke, as blunt and stoic as ever.

You chastised yourself— should have been aware that nothing could escape his detail-oriented eyes. Nonetheless, there was something... disparate about this morning: the hushed words of devotion, the warmth of nonchalant pecks—dare you say, it was almost domestic. It caused feelings of joy and felicity to ignite in your chest, and a certain sentence to cross your mind.

“...I love you, Theo.”

It was apparent that he’d been caught off-guard, a hand flying up to cover a short fit of coughing. And as his grip on you faltered, you flung your arms around his neck, urged by both embarrassment and closure.

“Y—you. Gadver...”

“Have I rendered the great Theodorus Van Gogh speechless?” You couldn’t help the teasing remark; eager to see his flushed expression, you peeled yourself out of the embrace. However, just as swift as he had faltered, his iron grip on you toughened once again, this time around closing the proximity to an intimate distance.

“Have you finally lost what little sense you had before?” His tone’s giddiness betrayed the harshness of his words, despite his best attempts to suppress that. As you tried to focus on anything apart from his breath caressing your neck, you espied the brilliant blush raging on his cheeks.

Deciding not to comment on his obvious joy, you pressed a kiss to his collarbone. “Don’t you have to punish me, then? I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder.”

When you pulled back to look at you love, you were met with his wild cerulean orbs. You’ve heard of people comparing them to ice, but you likened them to the tropic’s water; it might look trifling at most, but once you dive in, it would tell tales of colourful facets. Just like a big misunderstanding, crying out to be revealed.

You couldn’t care less that you were in the kitchen, that anyone could walk in on you, as he pulled you closer to himself, your legs finding their way around his waist.

Comte de Saint-Germain

He’d definitely be shocked at first, widening his eyes at your forthcoming admittance

After all, these three words might seem minuscule to a lot, but they held enough power to truly cement a relationship

Whenever he looked at his chérie, he felt the need to tell them to you 24/7, but he reconsidered that it was only right to give you more time to grow accustomed to him (and his period)

After a few months of living together, and a solitary trip back to the past (which proved itself vain as his offer was declined once again), he resolved to tell her these fateful words

He heard his amour before he saw her, the sound of your steps hurrying down the staircase growing more and more pronounced. Ere he was able to turn around to greet you, you practically pounched onto him, fingers clasping by his waist as you embraced him from behind. You squeezed his middle section gently in an effort to breathe in his scent.

Shock subsiding, he enbosomed your hands with his own, having missed your warmth—your devotion—as it crowned him with more than the sun could ever wish to.

“I have something—“

“—to tell you.”

Both of you spoke up at the same time, prompting you to smile in delight. Hearing composed, albeit joyful, laughter spilling from your lover’s lips, followed by the incessant remark of ladies-first, you uttered the words you have been longing to say, “I love you.”

The gentle rising of his torso came to a sudden halt, and he twisted around to face you. He might not have been gone for too long, but you’d missed each other regardless.

You knew the feeling was mutual as his golden eyes burned with desire, his walls coming down bit by bit, exposing a rare sight of the count’s vulnerability. With his hands inching just above your lower hip, the not so innocent innuendo of their barely proper distance to your butt was duly noted.

“I’ve been hoping to tell you these words myself, ma moitié.” His mouth traced the shell of your ear, and you felt him smile against your skin—as gentle as flower petals, yet just as seductive. “Perhaps we could arrange my reciprocation in private?”

Tag list: @juminly, @kisara-16 (I totally forgot that you asked me to be tagged quite a while ago... I’m sorry (*´Д｀*))

[reyeslonestar]

Question what are some things you wanna see in season 3 of lone star? Character development, plots, anything

I want to see Tonya Kong write every episode. that's all. thanks for asking!

-

sadfkja I joke, I do have other ideas, but that is definitely high on my wish list! i'm gonna go through by character and talk about what I'd like to see for them, so this is gonna get quite long whoops...

the main thing that I'd like to see overall, though, would be evidence of an overarching season plan or arc - it doesnt necessarily have to be a plot that stretches through all the episodes or anything major, but I'd love them to have plotted out the season before they start. from watching this season and then reading interviews after the finale, they dont appear to plan many things from the start and end up throwing in ideas as they go along. if they plan it from the start they can foresee how theyre going to affect character development more, and they can have a bit more balance in the types of episodes they have, so that the season is less insane and more naturally ebb-and-flow with a few light episodes to break up the drama.

okay, onto the characters! just going to do this in billing order for simplicity's sake. customary reminder that these are just my own opinions and thoughts, and this is more of a wish list than a realistic expectation.

if you want to search for a specific character, ctrl F for one of these terms including the dash at the start:

-Owen

-Tommy

-TK

-Grace

-Judd

-Marjan

-Paul

-Carlos

-Mateo

-Nancy

press “j” to skip the whole post.

-Owen

okay so I'd love to see them actually develop his character. Owen has been given a lot of backstory with lots to play with development-wise, but to me it feels like the show never goes anywhere with it. he's got a lot going on what with 9/11, feeling responsible for the fates of his fellow firefighters, the codependence of his relationships etc. I'd like to see him go to therapy and see him grow some self awareness and seek to manage himself better, rather than all his screentime devoted to him being a hero when other characters have the situation handled. it would really show him as a good leader if he drew on the skills that his team has and refer to them for advice/ideas. realistically he is the main character, so I'd like them to develop him like one.

also, I kind of love the chief role for him? I think it would suit him really well. but it would drag him away from the 126 and split up the dynamics too much so it would make for bad tv and I wouldnt actually want to see that. good for his character though.

-Tommy

I love Tommy :) just wanted to say that.

so obviously Tommy's got a lot of grief to handle next season, and I don't want them to shy away from that. I want it acknowledged and processed. (I'd also like a little bit of seeing the twins' grief too, because they're also suffering a massive loss). maybe something with Judd helping Tommy learn to manage her grief with his own experience of losing the original 126, encourage her to go to therapy, plus Tommy, Grace and Judd all feeling the loss of Charles together. after all, Grace and Judd were his friends and they will be grieving too.

I'd also kind of like to see Tommy have something outside being a working mother. obviously we're going to need to deal with that a lot especially now that Charles is gone, but I feel like she's been assigned the Character TraitTM of being the working mum and I'd like to see them give her a hobby or something. idk. and give her a night off with Grace or something. give her something just for her.

-TK

okay so I think theres a fair likelihood that theyre going to return to looking at TK's addiction next season which im not averse to. I think him struggling with his sobriety would be worthwhile to see for his character and to show that its not a straightforward path, plus it makes sense with all the insane stuff they've thrown at them in s2. however, Id like to see it in the context of his friends and family rallying around to help and support him and show him that he's got people to rely on, and that he's allowed to rely on them, plus the support of his AA meetings and therapy. I also need them to lay the groundwork for him struggling, so putting in signs of him deteriorating so the situation makes sense. this storyline doesn't need surprises to be interesting or good, and frankly it shouldn't have any.

as for him and Carlos, I definitely want to see them househunting! I'd like to see the combination of househunting/Carlos with Tommy's kids/Grace and Judd having their baby have an impact on their perspectives regarding their future and spark that conversation (like, looking at houses with more rooms and thinking about kids, future, marriage etc). I think that maybe one of them, probably TK, or maybe both of them those boys have way too many parent issues having anxieties about being a dad could be an interesting way to add tension without being too drastic, and then that can be resolved in a way that reassures them of their relationship and reaffirms their strength as a couple. the talk about the future would also lay the groundwork towards a proposal at the end of s3.

-Grace

grace :) my love :)

I could watch episode after episode of Grace kicking ass and saving people over the phone. I'd love to see an episode set there? like, some kind of story within the call centre with all the handlers having to resolve that between them, but also tie in the first responders, so we see the fire team, the paramedics and Carlos all working but we only see the bits that Grace and the other call handlers hear, if that makes sense? also an actual Grace/Carlos team up where they are coming in from the different angles with different amounts of evidence and figuring out the best way to solve something together. plus I'd like to see her maybe get some recognition for being awesome at her job, maybe another handler coming to her for advice on how to solve something.

of course we've got the baby Ryder on the way, and I want that to go comfortably and smoothly for her. she deserves that. lots of wholesome excitement for her and Judd from the whole extended firefam, baby shower, gifts, the full works. pamper grace please.

-Judd

judd4captain2k22. please.

yeah I know its not gonna happen, but I loved judd stepping in as captain this season and I'd love to see that continued with him taking more leadership, and Owen deferring to him for advice/council in a work environment rather than personal life. maybe set up a long term idea about judd being a captain someday.

he's gonna be a dad :') so what are his anxieties about that? why were they putting it off before? was it related to his PTSD? he's got lots of people relying on him now, how does that make him feel? what if his kid loses him? id like to see him still using therapy as a tool to help himself deal with everything. lots of meaty questions to dig into there :D

-Marjan

I'd quite like to see more of her balancing her daredevil nature with the impact of that and realising how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. or on the flip side, maybe the team is dealing with a really dangerous situation and they utilise her fearlessness to save people. her relationship with social media could also come back? but bring in the development they gave her this season, and her Firefox presence is more serious, less flippant?

I think that theres now a space for her to explore her sexuality/romantic experience now that she hasn't got her engagement with Salim as a kind of failsafe. maybe she wants to put herself out there and date, but thats really daunting as shes never really had to do that before? personally I think this could tie in really well with a self discovery/exploration regarding her sexual orientation, but I doubt they’d go there with her, so thats just my headcanon.

-Paul

I want them to draw on Paul’s observational skills and perceptiveness more, especially on calls and in emergencies. I remember someone (sorry I cant remember who) pointed out that he would have been a great character to centre the arsonist plot around in terms of noticing the clues etc, so id love a storyline that revolves around him dealing with an emergency like that. I also really want a Carlos and Paul friendship so maybe them collaborating on a call to solve something, that’d be cool.

can we give Paul a girlfriend please. if im not complely insane, there was a reference to someone in like,, 2x04?? someone who put mayo in his sandwich? idk I havent checked (edit: it was aioli in his banh mi! thank you @meneatyoghurt), but if there is someone can we show him having a fun and loving relationship please. I dont need there to be any drama. just them having fun on a date or something.

-Carlos

so I know that some people are keen to see him in his police role more but I really don't need much of that. on calls with the 126 I'd like to see him be the officer in charge more, but I don't need police-exclusive storylines. I've talked about it here if you want to know why.

the only area that I'd like to see would be in the direction of reform/addressing the flaws of the system, and I think they can do that on a personal level for him, because he and Mitchell need a chat. if they'd gone with her decision in 2x08, he, Mitchell and the bank robber would all be dead, and I think thats gotta have some impact. also the fact that he was suspended for trying to preserve life. theres a lot they could work with there and maybe have him thinking about how he can do good and how he can effectively protect and serve. not to mention, the opportunity that would provide in terms of addressing his relationship with his dad and how he maybe sought approval by pursuing a police career?

also I’d like him to learn that he doesnt need to accept blame/preemptively put blame on himself and that he doesnt need to apologise when someone else hurt him. kind of want to send him to therapy. kind of want to send all the characters to therapy. but yeah, him learning that he can accept apologies and understand that he doesnt have to make people feel better for hurting him. hes allowed to be hurt and feel pained about it. and that can tie into his relationships with Mitchell, with TK and with his parents.

I think I mentioned most of the tarlos stuff in TK’s section, but I wouldn't mind at least one instance for them where we see it all from his perspective instead of TK’s.

finally ive mentioned above how i’d like a team up with Paul on a scene and both of them figuring it out together. I'd also like them having a friendship outside work, just the two of them, bonding over books and being relatively sane people compared to the rest of their friends.

-Mateo

Mateo is so sweet. I loved 2x14 and the recognition he got, more of that please! also theres still so much I want to know - one of the more consistent things they set up for him in s2 was his faith, so I want to know more about that. what's his relationship with religion and God? he's pretty isolated from his family so how does he feel about that? is his religion something that helps him feel connected to them? maybe the church helped him find a community when he first came to the states, before he got settled with the 126, and he finds reassurance in faith that God is looking after his family while he cant be there? I think maybe there's scope for a conversation between Marjan and Mateo about that, about that distance and caring for their families through faith and prayer.

also, if he's still with the horrible firehouse, I'd like to see the other firefighters being won round by his resilience and stepping up to look out for him, and someone backing him up against the captain. Mateo is used as the butt of the joke most of the time, but I'd also like to see a bit more acknowledgement of things like losing his house and the bullying hes going to get more of from this firehouse.

-Nancy

I think that her speech to Tommy in 2x14 was really telling, and I'd love to see them expand on that a bit more. first on the loss and fear of losing her friends and coworkers, but then also on her hopes and aspirations - she said she wants to be a paramedic captain so lets see her working to take her exams and qualifications, and showing initiative on scenes etc.

id like to see more of her being integrated into the 126 group. she and marjan turned up to the hangout together, so lets develop that relationship more. I would love it to be romantic but I'd also love to see that as a friendship. but also her forming bonds with others in the group as well as more of her and TK being a chaos duo. I love that they stole the ambulance, more of that insanity please!

-

I think thats it? if youre still reading, youre insane and I appreciate you a lot! honestly im open to all sorts of things in s3, this isnt a prediction or anything, its just stuff I think would be interesting based on where the characters are now. 

[hungryflowers]

You’re Different Backstage

Title: You’re Different Backstage

Rating: Explicit (NSFW)

Continuity/Fandom: Balan Wonderworld

Character Relationship(s): “Balance” Balan/Lance

Character(s): Balan, Lance

A/N: This is going to be my FIRST NSFW submission for this fandom. Do not come at me with the torches, pitch forks, knives or shotguns. I, very recently, sent myself down the rabbit hole of Balance (Balan/Lance) and kept wondering: how nice would it be to see some good ol’ fashion sexy time with the two of them? Since no one has done it yet, I thought, why don’t I? What’s stopping me? Who can stop me? NOBODY!!! So I did this. And it took me 10 days to do, so please accept my thing!! Also, also, this will probably be the longest porn w/o plot I’ve ever written. Hence why it took nearly ten days. The editing alone was bananas!! Another thing, I’d like to apologize in advance if I offend anyone here who is Non-Binary or go by They/Them pronouns. Since Lance is canonically non-binary, I tried to keep it as close to the orientation as possible. This was real hard as I usually default to male pronouns for both of them. 

However, I didn’t do the same for Balan, as he does tend to go by more male pronouns than Lance does even though they are also androgynous in appearance. Maestro is a more masculine term even if neither of them actually are. Another big thing: Balan’s genitals here. Since they don’t have actual default genitalia, I like to think that he has the ability to oscillate his genitals. He can have male and female parts just not at the same time. With that out of the way, please indulge in this steamy lil’ fan fic. And yes, I take criticism.  

Other/Warning(s): Massive smut warning!! Penetrative sex, Oral and Cunnilingus, Some minor swearing, graphic depictions of sexual situations as well as multiple orgasms.  

Lance didn’t enjoy setting the ‘mood’ as others had assumed it. They weren’t  deeply inclined to romantic, or sappy gestures like the better half of themselves had been. Balan seemed better at the sentimental side of affirmations of love and adoration. Or of praises and well-wishes that devolved into lasting conversations of love and happiness. 

No. No such things came out of Lance. They never gave in the way Balan would crave it. All they have ever wished for in turn was the physical catharsis of those suppressed feelings. Lance never called it love. Far be it from them to say what it wasn’t, but call it what it is. For them, it was just sex. The debasing art form of it too; bed-rocking, sloppy and wet, body tingling sex. That kind one would have as a means to purge the physical, mental garbage of the day and get back to work. The sex that revolved around more the need to take and not deal in the emotional ramifications. Lance’s fangs would draw in a wicked grin, the idea of that perfect, lasting till the morning time sex rarely sounding so bad. They had raptured, fantasized of the feel of Balan’s more delicate, tender frame mashed into theirs as he was ridden to a mind-blowing high that could leave them both speechless for a long while. 

They would languish in these thoughts. The perverse nature of them driving him to do insane things in search of the release from the monstrous, bone-rattling ache. For now, Lance busied themselves to look away... their thoughts hazy and muddled with the resurfacing gnaw of pursuing pleasure. Their mouth ducked into their tattered caplet, hiding the baring growl that prickled at those lips. Soft, ocean-colored eyes hardened with shock, and some surprise as they locked with Balan’s. They must’ve been so entranced with the inner turmoil, Lance never registered the glance the maestro was giving them. The Maestro of Wonderworld’s presence did things to Lance. Things they acknowledged and didn’t like. Gods, who decided to torment them so by making this being so damned beautiful and siren-like? How dare he sit with an air so casual, it appeared nothing ever bothered him? Damn him. Damn his soft, luscious and devilish curves; feminine in some ways while masculine in others. But moreover, damn those goddamn large and intelligent yellow eyes.

Golden pools shimmered deliciously in the lamplight of the slow evening. The theater was always quiet at night. It was period of reflection, relaxation. Or maybe a time to finish some old project. Maybe begin anew. For Balan tonight however, it was his time to catch up on a few good reads. He hadn’t picked up a good novel in some time. Usually the only papers he read were his rough drafts of scripts and plans. But he loved to read. When he didn’t harass Lance with trivial tasks, or for the nuisance of conversation, Balan read. If not that, he wrote. He was a maestro of the craft; short stories, full-lengths, prompts and scenarios, or sometimes just a journal entry. On this night he didn’t busy himself with putting quill to parchment. 

Balan's mouth opened, a sound coming out but no words. He wasn’t entirely sure how to ask about Lance’s wellbeing with being snapped at. The other appearing to be in a dour mood tonight. Placing the book on the small, rounded oak table Balan unfolded his legs to stand. He stretched idly, rubbing at the back of his top hat before pulling it off his head to fluff out his bouncy mint-colored dreads. Humming a little tune, Balan rummaged through his showman jacket, pulling out a golden rubber band to tie his long dreads back. The tendrils folded down his shoulders neatly once they were out of the way, exposing the intricately made heart marking atop his dark forehead. 

His eyes fanned over the negati’s hidden features before he walked over to the bar on the far side of the room. Opening one of the cabinets, he pulled out an aged bottle of wine; the label slightly tarnished and dusty read in calligraphic silver “Caraveét”. He grabbed gold-rimmed chalices, pouring the shimmering iris colored wine into each of the glasses. He grinned, smelling the sweet and tart flavors. He took a slow sip from his glass before tapping the bar table with his gloved fingers, the racketing bring Lance out of their stupor.

“Did you want some?”, He inquired, hoping the swirling liquid would ease the storm that ravaged the negati, “You seem a bit broody tonight. Perhaps, a couple of glasses should ease both our minds.” The maestro chuckled giddily raising his glass as it gleamed in the low light. 

Lance regarded the glass, then the maestro as he walked over to them. The tentacles on their back lashed so abruptly, Lance had to do a non-verbal apology when they knocked over a few chairs by accident. They weren’t brooding. Not even mad, but they were feeling something. Just not sure how to find the words for it. 

Balan’s eyes drifted to Lance’s, regarding them. Waiting for them to answer the question they most likely didn’t hear in the first place. 

“What?” The tone was not to be a biting, agitated type yet Lance couldn’t make themselves look at Balan, knowing full well the turmoil they were in.

“Nothing... I was just asking if you would like a glass of wine? You are more the brooding lot than usual. Drink with me.” Balan’s playful baritone voice felt like velvet as it caressed their ears. That voice caused Lance to sulk further more, hiding their face inside the caplet as the thoughts, seeming to feel more like whispers of temptation, dominated their rational thinking. 

He took the offered glass yet chose not to drink of any of it. Instead he loomed over the rim as Balan took a long swig of his. 

Lance licked at their lips, unknowing of the gesture. They would give more than anything to kiss the taste off of Balan’s lips. Or just to kiss them at all. They had wondered what it would be like to feel the maestro’s lips tentatively licking, caressing theirs in a heated lip-lock. The maddening thoughts came back tenfold, causing the other in audible snarl, attempting to shut them away. 

“Lance... are you okay?” They heard Balan on the bridge of their conscious, the other’s voice like a muddling hum as they stood up quickly to move in front of Balan. The other, not knowing how to judge the move, backed into the bar, his glass still in hand while he searched the eyes of Lance. They appeared to be wild, nearly frantic with an energy Lance never expressed. 

Lance leered at the other silently before pushing himself right into the maestro’s form; trapping him in front of the wood lacquer. Balan’s fleeing gaze made Lance smile. Not grin... smile. His mouth perking with something that could not be said as his hands went to Balan’s cravat, pulling the other slowly toward him. 

“No...”, Lance confessed, eyes lulling closed dreamily, “I am not okay. And you are to blame.” That smile showed off the fangs, the points flitting in the soft lamplight. 

Balan could not fully process what was going on before Lance leaned in fully to capture the other’s lips. Night after night, they had dreamt up this moment and even now they cannot believe they had gotten this far. It was far better than any dream or wish; light blue eyes sliding closed as a slender tongue went past the maestro’s parted, stunned mouth. That moment caused a ripple of shock to seize Balan, contents of his glass spilling onto the floor, no doubt leaving a stain that’ll have to be dealt with. He didn’t even have the knowledge of dropping it, yellow eyes staring at Lance’s softened face before he willed himself to kiss back. His hands, once frozen indecisively, pulled Lance in close.  

Neither were sure how it had come to this, but Balan didn’t have the heart in him to make Lance stop. A small purr rumbled the kiss as Lance began to pull off. They disconnected breathlessly, only the small tail of spittle between them. Their breaths were heavy and hot, burning like steam with each exhale. It took the maestro to gather his bearings before his mouth was able to work again. 

“W-Why am I to blame?? Lance what’s happened to you?” Balan felt as if he knew what was about to happen, and tried his best to make it all make sense. He was normally in a lot more control in surprise like situations; yet here... he was unable to predict the sheer tumbling force that Lance was portraying. 

“You’ll understand soon enough,” Lance whispered, deftly kissing down Balan’s neck, inky-black hair brushing amethyst sparkled cheeks, “I’ll make you understand.” They said louder with a growl that exposed fangs.

Purrs rumble through Lance as they fumbled with anything that would be able to get Balan’s ensemble off. Instantly they are met with resistance as Balan shoves at them, hands going to the sharp shoulders defensively. 

“Lance! What do you think you’re doing?!” Balan exclaimed, standing his ground before Lance doubles their efforts to expose the maestro. They are only slimly successful when get to expose Balan’s upper shoulder; the tear just big enough to reveal swirling lines of golden runes, “Have you lost your mind?!”

 The other refuses to answer him, bringing themselves flush against Balan to kiss down the exposed markings. 

Had they managed to lose their mind? Lance would have to give that some thought later on. In the afterglow. But first, they’d have to get down from the tantalizing high that has them under a spell. Their lips brushed softly down the exposed skin, running lightly over the maestro’s clothed arm. Gods, both of them just had on too many layers. Lance flared up, frustrated by the inability to firmly feel the decadent skin.

“Lance, let me go!” Balan demanded, the command in his voice barely swaying Lance to push off him. He was losing control of the situation. And the scary part of it was that was what he wanted. Balan would have been lying to himself if he said that he didn’t want this. Yet to get it from Lance this way was never a part of the plan. 

“You don’t want me to let you go.” Lance stated, eyes twinkling with more than just mischief behind them.

“Yes I do!” Balan choked out, his act and bravado beginning to fail him.

“Then why are you pulling yourself into me?” Lance chuckled, allowing their hands to wander down Balan’s waist.

“I’m-” He stammered not expecting to see or know that he had been pulling Lance closer the entire time. Forbid it all, he wanted this negati more than anything right now. And he was showing how badly. Damn his body for this. He was normally in better control of his reactions, this lapse should not have been tolerated. 

His be-speckled face shown with the brewing embarrassment of being caught before shoving himself a bit harder, finally escaping Lance’s grasp. The poor thing looked a fright; face flushing a deep violet, hair askew as it rolled down his shoulders and back, teeth clenched in discomfort as he attempted to steady his breathing. His chest must’ve rattled from the urge to scream at Lance. Instead he stamped off, refusing to let Lance see how flustered he became. He’ll have to be in his room for a while to work out the steam that began to build.

He didn’t get far as a few tendrils of inky black wrapped around the other’s waist. He could hardly make a verbal protest while being pulled back into the other’s form. Large claws going up his neck, arresting Balan’s smooth belly as the tendrils dipped further. The tentacles moved lively, squeezing and pulling on the other as Lance’s hands swept and groomed over the maestro’s suit. When one hand dipped between Balan’s legs, he seized up. 

Yellow eyes dilated, Lance’s touch freezing his mind. The groan that escaped him was not intended yet was enough to make Lance’s groin ache. He was going to force those sounds out of Balan. In one way or the other. Their night was going to be fulled with these delicious noises. The tendrils smoothed over him, probing the other perversely. 

“Lance...please.” Balan became unaware of what he was begging for. He wanted this to stop, but he also felt like he’d regret refusing. This Lance... was much different than the one he’d encountered previously. The change felt real jarring; since they never made moves into his personal space. For anything. Least of all... This! He wanted to see where this could go. How much better it could get. 

His own hands skimmed over Lance’s suit, prompting the other to loosen their grip as Balan slid away from the tendrils. Balan took one coil in between his fingers, golden eyes gazing into the blue ones. The heat behind the other’s eyes made Lance shudder, a harsh sigh coming from his mouth as Balan took the tip of Lance’s tendril into his. The look stayed as the tendril came from Balan’s mouth, his tongue connecting it. The appendage darted out to swipe at the excess spittle left behind, the maestro’s eyes still glowing with a renewed heat. 

The action prompted a sneer from Lance’s features, their hand waving for a portal to open up behind Balan. The maestro gasped, turning to the hazy violet-colored portal. The shout of shock was to be expected as he was shoved right through it, the residual tethers of Lance’s self control snapping audibly as it receded. 

The overwhelmed, unknowing audience of Tims sat, wiggled, waddled and creeped up to sit in the place both beings had been.

                           ______________________________

It was not the fall that left him breathless as he landed on the massive expanse of what felt like a lavish bed. It wasn’t the deep contrasting colors of purple and gold accents that were illuminated by rainbow-esque runes and paintings of Negati markings throughout the immense, intimate space. Nor was it the pulsating rivets of scarlet that blended salaciously with the black and purple blankets and amassing of huge, plumy pillows. 

Lance himself left him utter breathless; transfixing him, mesmerizing him with the oscillating negati runes that gleamed in the room. Lance had never done this display before. Their runes barely pulsed or shined vibrantly whenever they were around each other. Evermore rarer when he was alone. The runes gave him an ethereal hue that the nighttime sky couldn’t rival. He brushed that thought away as Lance struggled out of their wardrobe, hardly mindful of seams, buttons or zippers as the top half of his shorn cloak was disposed of somewhere in the low lit room. Balan flinched yet shuddered at the ferocity Lance had showcased in removing his own tunic and darker colored vest from underneath. With his chest exposed; the tapestry of rune lines and fuchsia gleaming in the violet backdrop of the room, he was on Balan.

The maestro’s bright color scheme contrasted a great deal with the whole room, snow white wrapped in gold and scarlet with the fettering of navy with his undershirt. The colors screamed obnoxiously in comparison, and Lance wanted them all off. Balan looked on, dazed by the negati while Lance’s -no longer gloved, dark- fingers delved to pull apart the top of the collar, effortlessly tearing it asunder, a low suffering sound coming from the maestro but not much else. He would figure that Lance would be like this. There was no such thing as intimacy or care with the negati. Everything he touched broke in his hands. Balan knows well that this time will be no different.

 Those warmed hands skimmed over the prone body, fingers probing through the opened seams of the tattered clothings. They tickled him, a warm and fuzzy sensation spreading throughout the squirming frame. Balan felt lips on his chest, hands assisting in the pleasing endeavor while the other arched and shook. His mouth opened in an exhalation of steaming desire. When Lance pinched a nipple, Balan shot upwards in heated rebellion, forcing Lance to restrain him with his tendrils. 

He was about to demand that Lance release him yet was cowed into silence by a startling growl, “This ends if you keep moving.” That voice, their voice had done something to the maestro. In other instances, Balan would have fought Lance until the other relented control, but during this... he went oddly still, placate as Lance continued to trace a trail of kisses down his chest. He brought his hips forward and up as the negati began kissing down his belly, stopping shy of the seam of his pants. Warm hands went into the other’s pants, the kindled heat coming off of Balan’s genitals enough to make Lance purr. 

The maestro struggled against the hold as Lance pulled his pants down, heeled boots joining them as pile on the floor; kissing trails down his waist and down his legs. When the teeth pricked his skin, Balan thrashed. His face aglow with purplish speckles that brightened with his flush. He sparkled everywhere; cheeks, chest, hips and down the markings of his illuminated, swirling markings. Even the tendrils of his hair began to glow a slight with the forbidden heat. The hold on the restraints doubled.

“What did I just say?” Lance growled, the reverberating making Balan tense.

“L-Lance! Lance...”, Balan was calling to him yet couldn’t reach him as the negati roughly rid him of his clothing. Nearly naked, Balan shivered in the cool of the room as well as under the heated gaze of the negati, whom crawled up his frame to, again, kiss and lick at his newly glowing speckles, “Please... don’t stop! Please, Lance.” The maestro whispered pleas were a shock to the negati’s ears. He still wanted to punish him for fighting but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was becoming so lost to the feelings. 

“Save your voice, pet...”, Lance whispered as his fingers slipped past the maestro’s brightly colored panties, feeling him for the first time, “It is too premature for you to be screaming for me now.” He chuckled more as his folds became reactive to the fingers smoothing them over, luscious wetness forming inside the panties. 

Balan’s eyes widened, the shock of Lance’s finger boldly touching him made him to squirm, his own palm moving atop the negati’s. Much to Lance’s surprise, he didn’t hinder him yet chose to guide his fingers even closer, near enough for them to breach the delectable, delicate walls. Sun-yellow eyes rolled back once he felt one fingertip push its way inside, stopping short of sinking in completely. The maestro’s moan was unabashedly loud, body rolling in venture of more fingers. Lance marveled with fascination at the other’s willingness; form softening as he shook his head to and fro in delirium. He couldn’t stop shaking, lithe body aroused as the finger came from his wet sex. He smelt utterly delicious, dripping the natural nectar like a perfectly ripe fruit. His tongue slipped out to have a taste of it... and it had been everything he had hoped for. 

The aroma of the finest wine with the scintillating notes of vanilla and lavender. His cock pulsed in his own pants, over eager for its own taste. 

In horny glee, Lance yanked off the maestro’s panties, tossing the last piece of clothing into the darkness of his chambers in order to marvel at the most succulent sight in between the other’s rune spiraled legs. The plump lips of the vulva were just perfect enough to kiss, the natural wetness dribbling onto the blankets, glittering a soft purple as it did. The negati locked eyes with the heated, glazed expression before moving to take Balan’s mouth in a heated, soft kiss. The other kissed back with more fervor than before, free hand going behind Lance’s head to drag him down. 

 They pulled away with a long, loud sigh. The other scoring hot in contrast to the sheets beneath. Balan splayed his legs more, allowing for more room.

Lance grabbed up his thighs roughly, pulling him to the end of the bed to comfortably rest on their knees. Without much warning, Lance dipped his mouth right onto the humming lips of his vulva. That tongue went right to work at lapping up the sticky juices in and around those lips, a soft chuckle coming out of Lance as Balan shouted in lewd desire. His giant hands went right to Lance’s head, twining his fingers in the other’s hair as he shook and shimmied to the lapping tongue, hips arching to bring those lips closer to his pussy. 

Lance focused on the luscious flavor of his cunt, dragging Balan closer to them as the maestro attempted to pull back. Their grasp got tighter the harder Balan fought against the hold.  He felt the other’s grip in his hair, the tugging just enough to keep Lance deep. He lost his mind to Lance’s teeth grazing the top of his clit before sucking hard on his folds.

“Gods! Uhh, huh, L-L-Lance!”, Balan stammered, the corner of his eyes prickling with unshed tears while he fought and screamed into Lance’s lips. He was in heaven, but damn him if he’d admit that to the Negati. Balan flailed his head, mint-colored dreads going all over as he lost all semblance of control, “Dear gods Lance! Please! I cannot take...!” Balan pleaded for him to stop, to show any mercy on him as an intense rush of savage, carnal desire shot through him. When the other didn’t heed him, he wept. A startled sob ripped from his gasping maw as he arched into Lance’s rippling tongue. 

Lance backed off in order to awe at the loss of self control Balan was beginning to display. He took in the panting, shaking mess of a maestro before his very eyes; mouth hanging open as he greedily swallowed gulps of air, body aquiver with mind melting lust, hands holding his head like a vice as those sinful thighs wrapped around him. The sight of him made the negati moan unintentionally, tongue plundering the maestro. The vibrations of it caused Balan to clench on him and scream, both hands abandoning Lance’s hair to slide against the cooler sheets. 

“Oh! Oh gods, please, please...” The maestro whimpered, body relishing in that feeling while his mind boiled in intensity. 

Lance, accounting for Balan’s behavior, moaned louder and longer against the lips of Balan’s clit, as well as kept their tongue inside with the intent to find his G-spot. They kept at it for sometime, their tongue buried deep as their hands massaged over Balan’s heated, dark thighs. They kept the maestro as close as they could as they tongued the bundle of nerves located far up the other’s pelvis. 

“Wait! Wait! Lance please... don’t...please-” He hardly could finish the plea as instant rapture shot through his frame, causing him to clench on Lance’s tongue in a spine-melting orgasm. His mouth hung open in a room-rocking cry as his body snapped rigid, arms behind him as he grasped tight on the sheets. His chest thudded rapidly to his erratic breathing. His flesh clenching and tingling around Lance’s tongue the climax continued through him. There would be no reprieve however as he became rigged again, legs snapping around Lance’s head suddenly with another powerful orgasm. 

Lance had not stopped even through the second climax. Not even with Balan wailing in what could be felt as pain. The silky walls gushed with his essence, the liquid sex simmering on the negati’s tongue as they drank it. A pleasured laugh rippled through them as they pressed hard kisses to the top of Balan’s pussy. Kissing it several more times as Balan screamed at them in another language. They still didn’t stop as he felt the other kicking at them with feverish intent. When he almost clambered away, Lance reinforced their hold to plunge their tongue into him again. 

“For gods sake Lance! I can’t take anymore! Stop, please! I beg of you!” He wailed as tears streamed down his face. 

An empathetic grimace came to Lance’s face as they finally relinquished his hold on the thoroughly ruined maestro. Their lips were deliciously wet with the slick of the other’s sex, the taste even better than the wine he captured on Balan’s lips only moments ago. He watched him roll on the sheets, finding some balance of his overheated body and the cold contrast of the dark sheets. Deliriously, he crooned and purred as he came down from the high. It took him about five minutes total to calm himself. And then he smacked Lance’s shoulder. Hard. 

“Bastard! I told you to stop! What in the hell would it have taken for you to listen to me?!” He hissed, eyes narrowing darkly as he sat up. He seemed the opposite of pleased at the moment. A contrast that Lance felt prepared to deal with. Can’t please some people. The sentiment literal in Balan’s case. 

“You were fine with me not a few minutes ago.” Lance jabbed as they groaned at the pressing of that erection against their tight pants. The glare Balan shot at Lance made the other’s ears pin low. 

“That was before I had two orgasms in a row, heathen! You should have more respect for me. And be more receptive Lance. This isn’t just about you!!” He snapped. Nope. None too pleased at all. 

Lance blinked, “This... wasn’t about me. Trust that if it were; I would’ve fucked you through this bed. The only reason I didn’t do that is because I want to see you cum. I’ve only ever heard that-”

“Wait, wait a minute. You’ve heard me climax?” Balan started, a touch confused. 

“In your bedroom, when you think you’re alone. True, there are no visitors around but someone was always in the theater,” Lance purred as soft as a breeze. The negati smiled at the brightening embarrassment on Balan’s face, wishing now he had his hat to hide it. It softened them so seeing the normally composed, bombastic maestro reduced to a shivering, blushing mess. Gingerly as allowed, Lance caught Balan’s face, causing the other to look at them, “I guess I just wanted to put the face to the voice. And I am not disappointed.”

Lance leaned over to kiss the still warm cheek of the maestro as the other side-eyed him, the smallest smile forming. 

“I’m... not used to this side of you. You’re normally so far away from me. In fact doing you’re very best to stay out of my sight. Even when I want you there. You know...”, A slow pause before Balan finished the thought, “You are different... too bad we both have to be backstage to see it.” 

“I’m different backstage?!”, Lance’s long ears perked at the comment, not ever having someone feel or compare the sentiment, “I’ll remember that then. Do you want me to continue then? Or would you rather sulk about how I never know about your needs and cues?” Lance’s eyes sparkled with a mischief that could rival Balan’s.

“Yes, damn you. That...was a genuine experience.” He giggled, the noise a delight to Lance’s ears, leaning back on the plushy pillows, tendrils sprawling out comfortably behind him. With a singular exhale Balan relaxed against the sheets, hands going in his hair, fiddling with and tossing a singular white sliver of his tendrils. Only... it wasn’t his hair, Lance noticed and then raised an unseen brow in suspicion. 

“Is that... an ear?” They breathed a laugh as Balan hid it in his hair again. When he sat up, it confirmed everything that Lance thought prior; he had the same ears as they did, a slight longer, floppier and appeared to be super soft. The negati’s eyes sparkled as they pulled out the hidden appendages, wondering why they hadn’t noticed them until now. 

“I-I-I never liked them. They’re long, cumbersome and don’t fit under my hat properly. So I just have been tying them back along with my dreadlocks. Wha? Why are you pulling them?!” Balan shrieked, his sensitive membranes folding as Lance fiddled with them. The stark white with the hue of light green made the ears stand out, the occasional flap picking up the slightest noise. 

“Why hide them? I think they’re absolutely wonderful.” Lance emphasized as they waggled their own long, dark ears. Their ears sat higher than the maestro’s and didn’t bend as much. He crawled over to the negati, aligning his hips in between the others legs with care. Their pulsing erection awoke his deepest desires, causing Lance to grind their clothed crotch into Balan’s exposed one. He gasps weakly, feeling the outline of the negati’s cock against his sensitive folds, gloved hands moving up Lance’s arms to bring them in for a deep kiss. 

Consumed by more the kiss than the passion behind it Lance drove their tongue deep into Balan’s mouth, tasting the other’s breath and intermingling the taste of his fluid sex. Balan’s tongue stuck out as Lance’s lips engulfed them, teeth grazing over the appendage while Balan groaned hotly. He brought his head higher, the expert work of that tongue making him drunker than any alcohol. The longer it went, the more impatient the maestro became; his hands going from Lance’s arms to dip into their pants to rip out the other’s cock. 

Lance’s eyes flew open as hands peeled off their pants and pulled out their cock, the member free from the strain at last. They’d never lie to themselves about not feeling relieved. The darker phallus was impressive at best; thick in girth and longer than Balan’s, some negati rune marks trailed on either sides of their crotch and lower hips, and the tip looked spire like yet appeared to be soft to the touch. Balan would find out soon enough. 

“I get it. This is moving too slow. But I thought that you’d appreciate it.” Lance inquired, chest rippling in steady laughter. It felt like a punishment for forcing Balan to ride out his first orgasms. 

Balan didn’t speak as he shoved Lance over, raising himself atop the other. Seated on their lap Balan took in the sight of his paramour, and just how dazzling they appeared. Chest rising and falling with softened breaths, the runes coming to life again in a brief flashes of multicolored lights, but he couldn’t stop looking at the other’s face. The heart marking atop his forehead blazing almost vermillion instead of the darker pink it usually was, their small fangs bared, glittering in the soft purple hue of the bed chambers. 

He leant down, kissing the long neck, chest, pressing his lips hard onto his ribs and trailed a heated kiss down their pelvis; stopping just short of that maleness. He spared them a coy heated glance before kissing the drooling tip, eyes going to Lance to see their reaction. The other tensed, mewling the moment they felt those lips, tip swelling on demand.  

“I’m going to suck the soul out of you. Just as you had did to me.” The heat in those words made it more fact than statement and Lance couldn’t wait long enough. They could have never imagined having the current maestro of Wonderworld’s mouth on their dick. To be honest, they could not imagine any of this happening right now. There was something so decadent and sinful about the way Balan talked dirty. Such things were just never heard from such an angelic mouth. 

He stopped thinking altogether as Balan removed his gloves, throwing them onto one bedside table to fist his thickness roughly, stroking the lengthy girth. Thumbing over the head, he gauged how steady Lance was, the swelling member making the maestro’s mouth drip with unshed spittle. From the way he opened his mouth and sucked in them in deeply, Lance could have sworn that he had done this before yet can never remember a time this would ever happen. 

“Ohhh yes! Balan...” Lance’s lungs stopped working the second Balan’s tongue encircled the head and bobbled repeatedly, his saliva silkening his hot length. Lance shuddered, moaning deeply as the tendrils on their back came back to life and spread across Balan’s pussy, massaging the outer vulva instead of the velvet walls. The sensation caused the maestro to moan around the dick in his mouth, a chain reactive shiver from Lance followed. 

Balan slowly rocked on the tentacles that fondled on his folds as he swallowed down more of Lance, lips almost resting on their crotch before pulling off. Soon the maestro began working his hands with his tongue, hands pulling at the medium sized balls as the underside of the long cock was stroked by Balan’s tongue. 

The tentacles worked Balan harder, the other groaning loudly with the near penetration on one tendril. The movement caused Lance to swear, hands digging into his hair, pushing the mint colored coils out of his face. 

“Don’t stop Balan! Please don’t stop!”, Lance cried as they got closer to an explosive release. The vision of seeing cum painting the maestro’s immaculate, lovely face caused a shudder to surge out unconsciously. The tentacles groped the silky vulva with an intensity that caused Balan to pull off the other’s cock to choke out a cry. 

“Lance!,” Balan called, drippings of drool falling onto the sheets as he shivered on the tentacles that never penetrated. He growled low as he pushed himself back on the largest of the tentacles, the bulb going right into his pussy, slicked with the welcomed wetness, “Ha, oh yess.” He crooned before stuffing the throbbing cock back into his mouth, pumping and sucking with the same vigor as the tentacle inside. 

Lance mumbled something in a different language, thrusting into Balan’s warm mouth, along with the tentacle slipping through the sticky mess seeping from his tightening walls. They could barely muster the maestro’s name as a ringing sound flushed through their ears, body going tight as a bow while Balan swallowed down the cock fully. Their hands dug into the other’s hair making sure Balan was close enough to swallow all of the rich, violet colored seed as it splashed down his throat. The tentacle widened inside of his pussy, pushing on the clit with the vibration of its master’s climax.

They thrashed in zeal as Balan continued to suck them dry, not worried about the veiny tentacle that fucked him deep. He was determined to live up to his statement; soft, warm hands smoothing over Lance’s sharp hips as he swallowed him down more, moaning and whimpering as the length sputtered more seed. When the tentacle pushed more into the G-spot, Balan cried out, forcing his hips down to rock with his new orgasm. He had to get the cock out of his mouth in order breathe a bit proper as his walls vibrated with the climax.

The room became blanketed in a contented silence as they both came from their highs; Lance’s chest heaving air as Balan sat on their hips to find his mind. He purred with fervor as the tentacle slipped out of his cunt.

“That was good, yes?” Balan inquired, eyes wide and soft, body just as soft and pliant as he awaited a reply. The poor darling was self-conscious. A trait he never displayed when performing for anyone, nor anything. 

Lance’s laugh brightened the maestro’s be-speckled face, ears twitching with the tenor of sound.

“That was the best head I’ve ever gotten, my lune-light. And you did what you said you would do.” Lance spoke breathlessly while they leant up to brush their forehead against Balan’s. The feathery kiss, as well as the compliment, drove the other to keen delightedly, ears flapping in exuberance. 

“Your... ears. They flap whenever you’re excited or praised don’t they?” Oh, Lance was about to be so evil now. The sly grin invited as much. 

Balan nodded his head, not even knowing he was acknowledging the question, smiling and flushing like mad as he did. 

“Look at you. Flushed, heated and so devilishly handsome. A most salacious siren you turned into,” Lance growled as they pulled himself up but kept Balan in his lap, “A gorgeous being like you deserves to be drenched in the most opulent of pleasures. The thickest form of desire. Do you want me to worship you?” That damning voice caused Balan to shudder and grasp them in desperation. 

“Yes! Worship me, worship my very body, revere it!”, He shouted, no longer bringing himself to care about anything other than the euphoria, “I want to feel you in me, on me, all over me!” Heat basked from his body as his ears flapped, mouth open in heavy pants. His naked cunt rocked on Lance’s cock, not sinking in fully. The movement caused Lance to spur into action, going on their knees to better to better position Balan, the maestro spreading his thighs eagerly on Lance’s lap. 

Lance’s fingers intertwined with Balan’s, his hands warm and only touch wet. They pressed their teeth into the skin, reveling in the dark wrists that glowed subtly with golden accents and swirling patterns. Lance repeated the motion, tongue lapping at both wrists, palms and fingers. Lance felt the smoothness of the maestro’s beautiful hands. Their eyes shimmering in reverence as they pressed sweet kisses to each fingertip slowly. Their own hands felt up his palms; still so warm and just as silky soft. That tongue continued to trace the long golden lines, taking his time to press his lips into his wrists. 

“Balan...” There weren’t enough words for Lance to say, or piece together for the time spent with each other. Nothing could prepare either of them for the sheer intensity of this new emotion. Melding of carnal lusts neither have the ability to describe. So for the first time tonight... Lance stopped talking. Letting only their bodies say so much more. 

Steadying him, Lance brought Balan down on the hard thickness slowly, agonizing slow. The maestro’s glint was hot and heady, hands going to Lance’s shoulders as support. Lance heaved a hot moan, aligning the next thrust directly into the maestro. There wasn’t a need to test if the other was ready for it or not; his tightness giving way subtly with each small piston. The fiery gaze of Balan soften into kindled embers once he was fully seated on the other’s cock. He was starting to perspire, a reaction that Balan never had to anything in his life. Rushing sweat beaded down his neck, his chest and around his waist glazing him in a hue of condensation that began to make his body slippery. 

They stayed in each other’s laps for a second before Lance thrust upwards, igniting Balan’s tongue again. He cried out in another language, most likely a swear considering the dialect. He groaned weakly, his body submitting to the roughness Lance invited with each movement. The moment Lance had worked out the rhythm the thrusts became harsher, more precise, pinpointing the exact spot to hammer him into a delectable frenzy. Lance’s breaths got rougher, louder, more of their teeth becoming exposed as they snarled in ecstasy. 

Balan could barely hold on. Literally. His grip on Lance’s shoulders loosened each time the negati impaled him, the motions making him too sensitive, body on fire. Though barely cognitive, Balan did his best to rock up to meet with his thorough pounding. Moving his hips at an angle, Balan caught the ribs of Lance’s spired phallus, screaming out as it stabbed him. 

The maestro’s screams did something primal to Lance, the sex-fueled fire warping and corrupting their licentious mind. 

“You like it?”, The negati spoke deeply, the baritone voice smokey and laced like a honey-tipped whiskey glass, “Look at yourself. Becoming undone with just my cock. You cannot comprehend how fucking devilish you are! Siren!” Lance dragged Balan down, further stabbing him with the rigged member. They were so close yet weren’t about to go if Balan didn’t first. They were going to see the maestro climax on his dick. There would be nothing to stop it now. Astoundingly, Balan replied to the question, voice much like Lance’s yet tremulous in its form.

“Yes! I love it, I love you!,” His gaze meets the others in an embrace that Lance cannot escape from, “I love you so much, don’t stop please.” The plea is whispered as the remainder of Balan’s self control is pounded out of him. His lanky legs surrounding the negati, forcing them to stay the course as his cunt devours them hungrily. 

It becomes too much for Lance; the fucking, the confession... just the sounds of Balan’s voice as they fuck. They snap forward hard, cock slamming the maestro’s pelvis as they climax, taking Balan right with them. The guttural snarl that surges from Lance actually scares Balan, those golden eyes wide with an erotic fear of the other before it fades with a deep-bodied orgasm that reverberates through his soul. He wails out, the pleasure so cavernous it eats him alive, body stiffening to the point of pain, absolution and exultation drowning him in high waves. His clit sucks Lance of everything; reason, sense, the will to stop. He trembles at the feeling of the other’s seed shooting inside of him, viscous ropes of cum shoot forth as Lance loses the rhythm of their own thrusts. 

They stop fully when Balan’s cunt loosens its hold, the negati falling forward atop the messy sheets. Balan makes a cry of something between pain and pleasure when he is flopped on his back with Lance atop him. Lance’s member has yet to soften inside the other’s creamy walls, the spired tip rubbing on Balan’s g-spot. 

The room falls silent again, save for the heavy pants and breathless laughs from the two. Neither recovering fast enough as the euphoria drains all other sensations from their bones. Lance’s spine is dexterous as wet spaghetti, mouth open in loud gulps of air. Balan fares no better, legs twitching uncontrollably. Bare chest dripping with sweat, golden markings along his arms and stomach gleaming and flickering in the contrasting violet lights. His coils are drenched as well, pouring over his eyes and messily over his face. Speckled markings aglow with the shades of amethyst make him look pulchritudinous. 

Lance raise themselves up, both of their hands going on either side of the exhausted maestro’s supine form, loins still burning from the near volcanic heat from their fucking. They readjust their position, body flush to the other, seeming to never be close enough. They smile softly as Balan smiled chastely at them. 

“That was fantastic... honestly the best sex I’ve ever had.” Balan complimented, his eyes not as glazed from before. 

“Good to know, but I hope you didn’t start thinking it was over?” Lance drawled, the tone eerily lustful.

Balan stares quizzically. How could anyone want another go after that?

“You want to go again?”

“Just one more?,” Lance breathily laughed as their hips rock gently, phallus a touch harder than prior, “If it helps, you can lie on your back and I’ll handle the rest.” They lean over Balan, kissing his cheeks and the heart on his forehead. 

Balan rolled his eyes. He wasn’t complaining about another time, but his body sure was. He internally decided one more bout wouldn’t cause too much strain. 

“Lancelot, the insatiable one. Who knew you’d be addicted to my cunt?” Balan chuckled; the nickname still an endearment to Lance. It would be rude to lie about how the name made them warm on the inside. And hearing that sugared voice utter it with a playful air softened the negati. 

“Not just your cunt... but you as well. I love you too.” The words came out before Lance knew. Their lips moved yet didn’t have any prior knowledge of it until seeing the way Balan stiffened, long ears swaying upwards at the words.

Both of their chests fluttered; Lance never expected to say those words during sex. This...this was not supposed to be about love. And yet, it was all Lance had on their mind. They had Balan now. All they would have to do is love him. In more than this way. With all of this joy they had felt in the confession, the familiar ick of something tar-like bubbled to the surface. Lance’s mind honed in on all the deprecating things the voice said.

‘What? You can love? Oh Lance... it will be ruined by you so soon.’

‘You once loved...and look at what it turned you into!’

‘This is sex Lance... that’s all it will. ever. be.’

‘He can only feel pity for loving a monster like you’.

The voices began to make Lance physically sick. No matter how hard Lance tried, they wouldn’t be willed quiet. They began to tremble uselessly, a sob retching from the negati as those thoughts and words; their own words swallowed them.

The maestro lunged forward, planting a kiss on the other’s lips. The cathartic heat that came from it brought Lance out of their head, focusing on the other below them. They both stayed lip-locked for a moment, Balan kissing as if Lance were about to drown any minute. The kiss saving them from themselves for a moment like this. The voices dissipated, barely a hum coming from the back of Lance’s mind. They didn’t matter. Only Balan did. The kiss ending when Balan pressed those lips to the fuchsia colored heart atop Lance’s brow.  

The touch was so gentle. So tender that it made Lance’s heart swell.

They looked down at Balan, who smiled pleasantly back at them. The look of love so much more than it could ever be. ‘It’s okay. You’re okay’ is what those golden pools spoke even if Lance didn’t hear it aloud. There wouldn’t be a need to. 

In spite of how small it was; Lance smiled. The motion felt real. He hadn’t had a genuine smile in over a thousand years. Gods, when was the last time he felt pure happiness unfold in his heart? There’d be a time and place to think on that later as they shifted Balan’s hips more, grinding forward, hips shifting to reawaken his long erection. The stings of pleasure rode through Balan, arms going behind his head to grab for the jumbled mess of velvet purple blankets. A small whine went past his lips as Lance’s midline bumped against Balan’s pelvis again, causing a flare of scorching desire to arise. The maestro never subdued, or otherwise suppressed his moans. He would allow Lance the ability to hear how he felt for him. 

The negati gripped Balan beneath his thighs, pulling his legs away so they could splay open. The new position allowed Balan to relax instead of trying to readjust too often. 

A surprised gasp from the maestro made Lance look at his face; the beatific expression of this dazzling, bewitching and downright mesmeric creature spurring Lance to pump into him harder. The be-speckled maestro had his eyes closed, turning out the warm, shimmering pools of the richest gold many would never see. 

“Please lune-light, open your eyes for me.” The reciprocal adulation of love  Lance gave could break someone’s heart and warm another’s but it was his tone that made Balan’s eyes open; aroused and so husky. When he looked upon the negati, a form of ardor seeped through him. A shy smile graced his features as he nuzzled into Lance’s chest. 

“Ohhh, say that again. Call me that again,” He whispered as his body arched with the deeper, slower thrusts, “I need to hear it again, Lance.” He began pining for the sound of the other’s voice, chest heaving in irregular patterns. Long ears flicked up, picking up the sounds of Lance’s exertions as they grounded each other closer to climax. 

“Lune-light...my lovely lune-light, you are so stunning.” Lance cooed, eyes warm as they watched Balan’s ears flap in jubilance. They fucked into him harder, faster when Balan’s hands went from the sheets to cling to Lance’s arms in order to steady himself. He was succumbing again, mind lost as avaricious lust ensnared his visage. 

Lance repositioned one hand to grab the maestro’s tight waist and underneath his back, slowing their thrusts first in order to shift a portion of their weight to sink in deeper. They kissed the inner thigh of Balan’s left leg as the other hand grabbed there and held him tight. The new position brought Balan’s ass up from the bed, both legs hanging on either side of Lance as they brought their pelvis’s together. The negati had to get to their knees for the next part to become effective, sprawling their hips a little. When they had gotten in position, they leant over to press another reverent kiss to Balan’s forehead, the friction causing the maestro to growl. 

“Move. Lance, I beg you.” Balan’s resistance melted a long time ago as his hands tightened around Lance’s upper arms. 

When they move, Balan’s equilibrium gets flipped upside down. The position had the maestro screaming so loud, Lance tipped their ears down to block out the sound. The reaction was instant, the gorgeous being’s mouth flying open as he threw his head back with each stroke. His hands scrambled for purchase of the negati as he began thrusting back on the other’s cock. Body spasming at the rippling sensations. 

The change in position did wonders for Lance as well; they were able to take in all of the other’s grace, elegance and succulent desire. The screams of pure ecstasy powered Lance onward, eyes half-lidding as they aimed their thrusts. Lance felt the maestro’s bruising grasp loosen, the body tightening from the exertion. He looked as if he was going to lose his mind again; assuming he had ever found it after the first few times. 

“Look at this.... look at you,” Lance growled, hands leaving Balan’s waist to drag the other further down, “This is what I have been wishing for. I’ve have been waiting for you and this! Gods, now that I have you, I’m not letting you go.” The negati enunciated a portion of their words with alternating thrusts that caused Balan to spasm around them erratically, the maestro’s head swaying, more mooring, like a boat on torrential waters. 

Balan tried to stutter something in response. There could not be any words he could be able to use in a circumstance like this. The euphoria blanketing his headspace, only the want for this to never end on Balan’s mind. He wished he could stay like this forever; being loved in between his legs the way that Lance was loving him. Tears welled up but were blinked back. That familiar entrapment, that build was upon him now. A spring ready for release as Balan angled himself to meet a harsher thrust from Lance. He didn’t know what to do with his hands so he tugged on the negati for some leverage. And he tugged at him desperately. 

“I-I-I can’t-- hold it back much! Lance, I need this! I can’t hold back! Oh my gods!” Balan’s pleasured whimpers were music to the other, the noise causing Lance to pulsate inside those divine walls. He was about to let it all go. Neither of them capable of denying their animalistic need for a blissful finish. 

“Do not hold back my lune-light! I want us to be in climax together. I’m ready, just like you are. Lock me inside your heaven!” Lance yelled, throwing their head back unabashedly for the final few thrusts. 

Something in the gravelly tone caused Balan to relent all self control at that moment, the high octane pressure rushing from his pelvis, seeping into his blood in a body rattling orgasm. He screamed, more belted out his release, muscles contracting and constricting in a severe, mind-numbing vice. He could no longer keep his eyes open, passion scalding his insides making his body heat unbearable. 

He kept spasming, helpless as Lance roared one last time, pinning Balan’s softened frame to theirs in a rough, possessing manner. They dove off the  pinnacle with as much fury and need as Balan did. Their fingers dug into the tender skin, maw wide with a roar that shook the room. The negati’s own form convulsing and seizing as Balan’s cunt squeezed their cock to the point where it ached. They shuddered with the intensity and rush of seed; feeling way too hot inside of the maestro, shooting deep inside, not stopping even as Lance humped Balan through their own climax. 

When they were sure they had nothing left to give Lance let Balan go, the other’s spent body flopping atop the bedspread. The negati pushed back their inky dreads back from the sweat drenched face, eyes slightly glazed. They shook with the inglorious feeling of satisfaction before pulling out of Balan’s thoroughly ruined cunt, their cum drooling out in delectable, erotic ribbons. The scent of the intermingling sex made the cock twitch. Without a thought given, Lance’s pointer finger went past the swollen, beat-up lips of the maestro’s pussy; swiping the oversensitive folds for just a taste of the cream. 

Balan yelled, overstimulated and a touch annoyed, kicking at Lance.

“Fucking stop! You’re going to kill me!” Balan cursed, his chest heaving. He was the perfect picture of the word ‘ruined’; mint-colored coils askew all over his face, sublime form thrumming with the residual orgasm. 

“Would this have not been the best death to have?” Lance giggled sweetly, tongue slipping out to lap at the mixed cream of their sex. The taste was of it was so divine, it couldn’t be described. When their legs regained function Lance dipped into the conjoined bathroom. Balan barely registered the sound of water coming from a faucet. Though he wasn’t going to register anything for a while. His eyes slipped closed, breathing becoming more steady as the high simmered out of his frame. He didn’t hear Lance’s footfalls when the other returned into the room yet the feeling of the cold, damp cloth felt exquisite on his hypersensitive skin. He smiled happily as the cloth went over his face, chest, arms and even his back, swiping away as much sweat that wasn’t collected by the sullied bedsheets. 

He winced as the cloth went between his legs, touches kept tender and dainty while the negati cleaned his clit. The movements were apologetic in the sense of the rough handling. With the remnants of their sex thoroughly cleaned, Lance threw the dirty cloth into a hamper nearby and crawled into bed. They felt the need to say something to Balan, yet was not prepared to see the other fully asleep. The smile remained on his face as he dreamt soundly. Safely. 

The maestro rarely slept so seeing him do so, even in the other’s bed, was recherché. The moment a surprise to see with their own eyes. It warmed their heart in so many ways. Lance wondered inwardly if their heart could get any fuller. Carefully, as to not wake him, they slid Balan’s frame underneath the heavy blankets, keeping his head low to rest it against the larger puffy pillows.

As much as Lance tried, they couldn’t lie to themselves about how adorable and desirable this being was. Is... and still will be. They could make up some spun tale about how Balan lusted for the feeling of this sex. And yet, they wouldn’t. They weren’t going to deny the affirmations and litanies of love, passion and reverence he bestowed. In this way, Lance loved Balan. Balan had loved them too. This new feeling blossomed and flowed within them. It was all Lance cared about and would gift this love in kind to Balan tenfold. It was definitely what they both deserved. 

For now, Lance snuggled into the maestro, a happy little smile playing on their cheeks whilst pressing their face into the other’s neck. The mint-colored coils of the other’s hair fell in a tangle on Lance’s face, making them wrinkle their nose. 

“I...love you, lune-light...”, Lance whispered pressing a singular reverent kiss to the glowing heart on Balan’s forehead, the mark shimmering against the darkness. The negati nuzzled the sleeping being, arms crossing Balan’s chest to swaddle him close to their body, “I don’t know if you had heard me, but I just hope you know.”

Unknown to Lance, Balan had heard him. His own smile was genial and kind, taking the affirmation as it was. There was no need for Lance to explain themselves. Such things like this rarely, if ever, happened. So Balan accepted this. He had openly accepted that Lance is, and will remain, worthy of love. 

“I love you.” The enamored statement was simple, sweet and soft-sounding. So such so that Balan wasn’t sure Lance heard him, the negati was already snoring before he could say anymore. With an exhale, Balan’s eyes slipped shut once more. His own hands went around to hold Lance’s closer to his body. Their combined warmth radiating soothingly as they slept throughout the rest of the night.

[cdt12345]

We've been friends many years but I've never thought to ask; Top 10 gay OTPs?

1.) Ian & Mickey (Gallavich) - Shameless us

What can I say about these two that we haven’t already said about them?! They are my absolute all-time favorite couple ever! Gay or straight. They perfectly complement each other, they love each other on a level I feel like I’ve never seen before (and I have watched a lot of tv/movies), they’re like a comedy duo, they support each other, understand each other better than anyone else ever will, they fell in love as kids, they bring out the best in each other, and they’re each other's best friend. I’m a sucker for opposites attract, who are also best friends. Gallavich really fits that bill. I wish they didn’t have to struggle so much to get their happiness, but I’m happy they finally got it. When they got married, it felt like the biggest victory ever! We went through those years of struggle with them, rooted for them, mourned for them when John Wells let Noel go after season 5. So much has tried to keep these two apart, even real-life circumstances tried to keep them apart. The chemistry between these two characters and between Cameron and Noel was so powerful, they were brought back to the show. That kind of thing doesn’t happen very often. When an actor leaves a show, they don’t usually come back as a series regular, let alone two actors who have already left the show. It felt like a miracle! I will never forget getting the news that Noel was coming back from you @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog I was crying with happiness bc we wanted this for so long and I never believed we would get to see both Cameron and Noel back on the show. Or that they would get their happy ending outside of a jail cell. Especially after Cameron left the show in season 9. With their return we got a wedding, an entire season of them as a married couple, we got to see them dance with each other twice, we got them singing together, we got to see them start a lucrative business together, we got to see them free and happier than we’ve ever seen them before, and we got to see Terry get what he deserved after putting them through hell. We are only halfway through season 11, but I already feel so fulfilled with this extra time with gallavich that we were never supposed to have. JW tried to take that away from us. I will never understand why, but he failed. I am not surprised this is the one I wrote the most about. I can go on and on about gallavich!

2.) David and Patrick - Schitt’s Creek

This was everything I ever wanted to see onscreen, where there was zero homophobia. The pansexual character didn’t need to have a big coming out or tell everyone in the town of his sexual orientation, except his best friend. The gay character had a coming out with parents who loved and accepted him for who he is and was only upset that he felt he couldn’t tell them sooner. I dreamt of a day where I could see this kind of representation onscreen. The casual treatment of their sexuality was so refreshing and something I’ve been waiting for. There is no darkness or huge struggle they had to overcome to be together or a sad ending for them. They were allowed to be together without the major conflicts most LGBTQ characters have to go through. Once David made the first move Patrick was comfortable allowing himself to fall for David and start a relationship with him. He was so sure of his feelings for David after that first kiss, he never looked back and I loved that. They had such an adorable love story. Truly one I have been waiting to see for so long between two LGBTQ characters. They made me smile every time they were on screen. They are another of my OTPs that are exact opposites who complement each other perfectly. Patrick was welcomed into David’s family and blended in with them so well, even when he and David had very different upbringings. Patrick serenading David with Tina Turner and then Mariah Carey at their wedding is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen!

3.) Holt and Kevin - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt and Kevin are strange men on their own but together they are the perfect pair. They get each other in a way no one else does. The best part is their adorable fur baby, Cheddar! They seriously make the cutest family! I was so nervous when they went through a rough patch for a while because I didn’t want them to split up. Thankfully, they made it through and are still going strong!

4.) Will and Vince - Will & Grace

On the show's first run, Will and Vince were in a serious relationship and Vince was Will’s longest relationship on the show. They broke up a few times but were together by the series finale. The two reunite during the funeral of Will's father. There was a time jump on the series finale. Though I didn’t love everything about the last episode, I did love the fact that Will and Vince had been together for 20 years and raised a son together, who was conceived through in vitro fertilization with a surrogate. After the time jump, nearly twenty years later, their son goes to college and meets Grace's daughter, whom he would eventually marry. Though I wasn’t happy with the fact that Will and Grace didn’t stay close over the years, it did allow for their kids to one day meet, fall in love, and get married. I did like that outcome out of the finale. My family and I used to watch the original show, but we refused to accept or watch the 2017 revival because they completely changed everything from the original series finale. The second I found out they were changing everything; I knew I couldn’t watch it. They even wiped the existence of their kids from the first series finale. The revival was an attempt to cash in on the reboot craze and I wasn’t happy about that already, but even more so when they were going to break up one of my OTPs for easy money. Bobby Cannavale, who played Vince, has become even more famous since starring in Will & Grace. So, I already figured he wouldn’t be back for the show as a regular, but I know he did guest star. I won’t accept the revival and to me, Will and Vince stayed together, and their son married Grace’s daughter. THE END!

5.) Albert and Armand - The Birdcage

Miss Albert and Armand were the earliest gay couple I remember ever watching onscreen when I was eight years old. I have watched this movie more than I can count over the years. It is a family favorite that we quote often. Their son is planning to marry a girl whose father is in politics and is very conservative. They have to hide the fact that he has two gay fathers for one night, but everything goes awry, and comedy ensues. Nathan Lane and Robin Williams give a wonderful performance without resorting to using the stereotypes that are often used on gay characters, especially back then. It’s a classic!

6.) Stefon and Seth - Saturday Night Live

Okay, hear me out on this one! They’re not the most conventional OTPs on my list, but I really do love them so much! Stefon started doing a correspondent segment on Weekend Update on SNL. The first time Stefon came on, he flirted with Seth Meyers. The second he did I was like ooh they would make a cute couple! Stefon the wild party guy and Seth the serious news anchor. It was a match made in heaven for me. Before Seth Meyers left SNL to do Late Night with Seth Meyers, Bill Hader came back to play Stefon for Seth’s last episode. I didn’t expect what happened next to happen at all! They gave Seth and Stefon the ending that I haven’t even gotten from some actual scripted shows. I never expected Stefon and Seth to have this big ending, but I could not be happier that they did. I’m posting the link to the six-minute skit/ending and I hope it works. It’s worth watching. Though the video says it’s Stefon’s farewell it was really Seth’s farewell episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj-wYWMdWNk

7.) Mr. Simmons and Peter - Hey Arnold!

Anyone who grew up watching this show already knew that Mr. Simmons, Arnold’s teacher, was probably gay. It was hinted at in the Thanksgiving episode. Arnold and Helga visit Mr. Simmons on Thanksgiving at his house and his family and “friend” Peter are there. Mr. Simmons mother says she didn’t know Peter was coming to dinner and Peter responds with the infamous line “There’s a lot of things you don’t know.” When Mr. Simmons mom tries to get him to take a woman friend to the ballet, he says he loves the ballet and Peter gives him a disapproving look and Mr. Simmons immediately declines. Those were enough hints for us fans to decide Peter was his boyfriend. Years later, the show's creator Craig Bartlett finally confirmed Mr. Simmons is gay and had them together in the 2017 Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie. It was so exciting to finally get the confirmation years later, even though I was already certain of it for many years. I was happy that the cartoon no longer had to settle with vague hints about it.

8.) Callie and Arizona - Grey’s Anatomy

I was very happy to see a lesbian couple on prime time tv and I really liked both characters. I was excited to root for them but sadly as most couples on this show, their relationship took a turn, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. I was disappointed that it came to an end. By then I was already getting tired of watching the show. It was starting to feel like a chore to watch it every week. I tried to stick it out because I don’t like to give up on shows in the middle of it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m glad I did though because the shocking events with Derek Shepard, is something I’m glad I wasn’t around for. Anyway, I heard things between Callie and Arizona got even worse, so I was even happier I left when I did.

9.) Sherwin and Jonathan - In a Heartbeat

This was one of the cutest things I have ever seen! I wish this got the full-length movie treatment instead of a short film. But it was still a step in the right direction for the LGBTQ community. Gay characters in cartoons always bring me such joy and that was the focus of this short. A boy with a crush on another boy with a cute ending. What is not to love?!

10.) Mitch and Cam - Modern Family

Another show I had to give up on in the middle of the series. The show began to be less funny and more annoying to me. Another reason, that really has nothing to do with the show itself, that used to annoy me was that this show repeatedly beat out Parks and Recreation during award season. Parks and Recreation is a superior show when compared to Modern Family. This show won almost every year for years and it got really annoying especially when the quality of the show started slipping and they kept winning. After a few years, they finally stopped winning all the time. But before all that, I was a fan of Cam and Mitch. They were a great couple who I loved watching on the show. They were the best part of the show most of the time. But sadly, my annoyance of the show no longer being as funny as it used to be, was enough for me to stop watching.

[quirkysubject]

So, I've decided to post some anon messages I received regarding bisexual Freddie. If the topic distresses you, please give it a wide berth! I'm going to tag this and any other posts I might make "bi freddie", so you can filter for that.

If you want to get in on the discussion, please feel free to add your thoughts! (Anon is off for the time being though).

Before we start, I think that rushingheadlong's post is an excellent primer on the subject, and I largely agree with his conclusions: Freddie called himself gay multiple times, his closest friends called him gay, he was part of the gay scene in various cities from the mid to late seventies onwards, his confirmed sexual and romantic relationships post-Mary are all with men. So, I absolutely agree that gay really is the best term we have to describe him.

Let's get to the messages *drumroll*

I think that this is actually a great example of how a lot of the discussion around this question is really one of definitions and terminology, not so much about how we actually see Freddie. In that story, from what I understand, he is struggling with his sexual identity and tries to find some way to square his desire for men with his self-image and societal pressures against it. In the end, he realises he's gay and accepts that.

Now, the question is, that earlier stage when he convinces himself that he is bi and acts like he is too - do we say that he actually was bisexual at that point? Obviously in your story, that's not the identity that is the right one for him eventually, but in that moment, did you write bisexual Freddie?

Honestly, I'd say no. I'd say you've written a gay man struggling to come to terms with his sexuality in a homphobic society and misidentifiying himself initially. This is the kind of retrospective, more zoomed-out perspective. But if he actually thinks of himself as bi for those parts of the story, if his self-deception is at least temporarily successful, then yes, I can see your point about saying you've written bisexual Freddie.

Now, is that how the actual person Freddie Mercury experienced it? No idea. He hasn't been extensively quizzed on how his view of his own sexuality changed over his life-time (if it did), how he experienced his relationships with women at the time and how he thinks about it retrospectively.

In in real life, both experiences exist: There are people who recognize who they 'really are' at some point and realise that despite their relationships with the opposite gender, they haven't ever been straight or bi or pan. And there are people who say that their sexual orientation as truly changed over the course of their lives.

So that's why, while I absolutely agree that "Freddie was gay" best sums him up, any kind of insistence that an exploration of a possible phase of bisexual identification is wrong - especially in fic - rankles.

I have been told that a lot of the hurt and anger over those fictionalised portrayals of Freddie comes from the history of the discussion, which goes back way before my days as a part of the fandom, and even before my days of being a fan of Freddie. Apparently, for many people, especially long-time fans of Freddie, the statement "Freddie was bi" is one that was used by a homophobic fandom and media environment to diminish his relationships with men, especially Jim, to promote Mary as his one true love, to vilify his gay friends and the gay scene (if only he'd stuck to women etc.).

Now, this is something I didn't understand at first, because I got to know about Freddie as a gay man. That's how he was talked about when I became a fan of his. So since I'm all for knowing fandom history, I'm glad that I'm now aware of this context, which helps makes me more understanding of the offence taken by some.

However.

There is a second important fannish context when it comes to Freddie's portrayal in fic, and that is the discourse around fanfic and the history of AO3.

AO3 is designed as a safe space *for writers* after the legal threats, strikethroughs and mismanagement of fanfic on other, commercial sites. The principle that all fic is valid (even RPF fic that subverts the lived experience of the person the fic is based on) is like the foundation of that site. The suggestion that certain kinds of characterisations aren't allowed will provoke a knee-jerk reaction by many writers.

People coming onto AO3 (*our* space, that we keep running with our volunteering and our donations) to tell us that we are not allowed to write certain kinds of content (especially when it's clearly tagged) and characterisations runs counter to what AO3 was set up for, and it feels very disrespectful. It would be like someone joining a Discord or a discussion forum dedicated to Queen's music, only to talk about shipping or the band members' private lives.

It feels especially like a slap in the face when people complain about tagged content - as was the case with the fic that triggered all this. It's like there's an implicit agreement: I write whatever I want, but I tag potentially sensitive content, so you, reader, can stay away from it. When readers then use tags to find content that upsets them and tell the writer they shouldn't write this, they are using the courtesy and respect we extend to them by tagging against us.

Now, I understand that some people are - for the reasons listed above - hurt by the sheer existence of fic exploring any kind of bi side to Freddie. But if that's the case, then AO3 is just not a site they should be on, because "everything goes, please tag" is its operating principle.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to go old school and set up a small fanfic site dedicated to Freddie fic that has clear rules on the kind of content that is acceptable? Or perhaps a tumblr dedicated to making "safe" Freddie fic recs so people don't have to search the archive themselves and stumble over content that hurts them?

I already talked a bit about the difficulty of stating categorically what or who someone is, especially in a phase where they themselves don't know or are denial above. I'd like to add to that that gay/bi/straight are not some kind of natural, fixed, easily delimited categories. They are approximations to describe and categorize human experience. Having those terms (and others like it) is of course super important, both in the fight for equality, and for understanding ourselves.

But there are layers and layers to them - political, historical, cultural, psychological. There are behaviours, fantasies, self-identification, group-membership, political affiliations, sexual attraction, romantic attraction, emotional attraction etc.pp, which sometimes align and sometimes don't, which may change over time or stay stable, which might be crystal clear or muddled and messy.

Now, this is very personal to a lot of people. Many of us in the fandom, and especially on AO3, are queer, and we all bring our personal experiences both to the discussion of Freddie's real life, and to our creative works. Therefore it's perhaps inevitable that there are hurt feelings on all sides. Imagine a young person who is questioning their own identity and feels a kind of kinship with Freddie exploreing their feelings through fic - and then that fic is read by an older gay fan who has seen the word 'bisexual' used to dismiss Freddie's identity and relationships with men countless times. I can understand them feeling threatened by that. I also fully support that fic writer.

I don't really have a solution for all this, obviously. But I agree with your point about trying not to discuss this negatively, and perhaps not narrowing down the focus on what/who Freddie truly 'was'. I think that when we talk about what he actually did, what he experienced, what he might have felt and thought, what influenced him, what societal pressures worked on him, we can have a much more productive discussion (and perhaps find that we are actually in agreement about a lot of things).

I like your point about his "personal biz"! Because quite often the discussion comes down to what Freddie would have wanted, or what is respectful of him. And honestly, I don't think he'd be particularly thrilled about *any* kind of deep probing into his personal struggles. I also imagine that he'd be baffled and amused more than anything else by some AU fic in which he's depicted as some tough, confident, bisexual sex-god - but of course, that's just my guess, which is as good as anyone elses. I don't know what he would have thought about any of this, what things would have hurt him and which he would have been fine with. So this is really not something we can use as a yard-stick.

Therefore, with regard to RPF about Freddie, the decision we all have to make is what kind of content are we personally confortable with. Is writing fictional versions of real people and their struggles something you reject in principle? Are you uncomfortable with fic that strays too far from the lived experience of that person - or on the contrary, do you prefer fic that doesn't get too close to comfort?

But these are really decisions we can only make for ourselves, not for others.

[matan4il]

Hi hi, worried about Eddie not talking about his sexuality in therapy anon here!!!! Thank you so much for replying, and to your other anons for continuing such a wonderful conversation!!!! You are all so smart and discerning and have all majorly reassured me. I feel much better about the presence or lack of that convo now. But just wanted to mention that I didn't mean Eddie talking about/realizing his feelings for Buck specifically - i just really really want him to acknowledge that there was something Not Straight about the panic attacks in the first place!

Like, when it comes to identity and relationships I feel like 911 can be very official status/label-oriented. (As can all of television to be fair.) Athena's whole relationship deal was about her dealing with losing her husband and gaining an ex-husband, and dealing with that change and creating a new relationship there, and then she went almost straight to gaining a husband again in Bobby. Hen and Karen are definitively lesbians. When buck was sorta dancing around Taylor the whole show and the other characters needled and mocked him about the ambiguity of the relationship. There are probably other examples of this kind of stuff too but that's just off the top of my head.

So you saying that Eddie doesn't need to experience a definitive moment about his sexuality or label anything, I 1000% agree. I don't want him to be forced into a label or anything, I think letting people be ambiguous about labels in fiction is amazing!!! But, I just don't feel like the show will allow him to live in and be at peace with that ambiguity just based on how they've written relationships in the past, you know? That's why I feel this way about what Eddie addresses in therapy. Of course I'm not the meta expert you are and am still a pretty big 911 noob so my assessment can be and probably is totally wrong though!!!

Hi worried about Eddie sexuality coming up in therapy anon! XD I’m gonna link to this post to keep the replies more or less connected... Thank you for writing in and I’ll second you in thanking the other Nonnies keeping this conversation going with great additions!

I’m so glad you feel reassured, and I also agree with you that 911 (like the majority of shows and films) mostly has monosexual characters (i.e clearly straight or gay) and it bothers me that we don’t have a single bisexual character. I do think that this door has been left open for Buck, through all sorts of teasing and hints going back to s1 even, and I do think it would be great if Eddie could represent coming to terms with sexuality at a later stage in life, where things don’t need to be as clearly defined, he just needs to accept that it’s okay to embrace happiness in whatever form it comes. I’m no meta expert, I’m just a person sharing my thoughts online TBH, but I think shows don’t like giving two characters the same exact storyline at the same time. Similar is possible and even welcome, since it creates all sorts of interesting parallels, but the exact same thing? Good TV shows tend to wanna avoid that. So I think that’s one good way for 911 to pull off Buddie going canon, with Buck less bothered about it ‘coz on some level he always knew he liked both boys and girls, while Eddie struggles a bit more, but eventually coming to simply accept that it’s okay to embrace what he has with Buck, whatever his romantic past or his perception of what he should be attracted to might have been. You’re not wrong, shows do prefer clarity on issues of sexuality ‘coz then they avoid being accused of having “turned” a character gay (I am so full of rage over this stupid accusation), but if 911 decides it’s brave enough to make Buddie canon, I believe it can be brave enough to go the more open-ended route as well.

Hope you’re having a terrific day, lovely! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

[lemystical-puffle]

My A3 Sexuality Headcanons that no one asked for!

[These won’t include Gender, only sexual orientation or lack thereof(is that a phrase?)]

Color coordination

Gay

Bi

Pan

Aro

Hetero

Sakuya Sakuma: Pansexual! He doesn’t have any preferences, honestly after his childhood he just wants someone who will love and accept him!

Masumi: Bisexual. I feel like he would love the director whether they be boy, girl, other, all, he just wants someone to give him attention, and that person just happened to be out beloved Izumi Tachibana.

Tsuzuru: okay this ones me projecting but whatever Aro/Ace Tsuzuru. He doesn’t feel romantic attraction, and instead just feels a family-brotherly kind of love towards his friends and fellow actors. He doesn’t really want to romantically be with someone, and yet instead just wants to be there for them when they need it and love them the same way he loves his family at home

Citron: Also pan!! But Pan-Romantic specifically. Citron literally just wants to love everyone ever because he’s just awesome like that, but won’t go pass kissing someone. It just makes him uncomfortable which is perfectly fine because he is Citron Lastname! But yeah, also no gender prefermance

Itaru: Bi with a male preference. I can’t really explain why I think this, I just do. Maybe because most of the woman he has ever shown interest in are his 2D anime waifus. Also I mean come on he totally had a whole thing for Lancelot he thinks knights are hot and that is so valid.

Chikage: he is a gay cabbage. Listen the only time he has said he liked a woman it was because he said they weren’t like his mom and I am just- I’m sorry I don’t trust that. This man is a gay, he is never had a boyfriend but he has definitely thought of hooking up with his boss for a raise, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Tenma: Also bi! Bi-Ace specifically. I wasn’t really sure where to put him because on one hand I feel like he has a lot of MLM energy but on the other hand his solo song so I just, bi. I feel like his gay awakening came when he played the token gay best friend in a romcom because gay actor erasure but Tenma didn’t really understand, but later he was in a scene where he was with his boyfriend who shows up for one second to remind the audience he’s a homosexual and Tenma was just: crap he’s not

Yuki: okay at first I didn’t know what to put for Yuki cause on one hand sexuality erasure Yuki has specifically said he likes girl and he defies stereotypes and stuff but on the other hand he never said he didn’t like boys so he’s bi with a female preference. I feel like Yuki is the kind of guy to just happen to fall in love with whoever and just go “oh crap did I just fall in love?” And while he likes girls more sometimes it just. Happens.

Muku: Surprise surprise he’s Pan! Muku totally reads shoujo manga with all sexualities and is very livid about good representation, will write a “negative review” (and in Muku terms that’s him being very polite, 4.5/5 stars and linking research resources) about how inaccurate a sexuality was portrayed. I feel like at first he just thought he was a very active ally and now he is just: “oh crap boys. And girls. And enbys. And genderfluids. And everyone.”

Misumi: Misumi is very homosexual, which at first he was sad about because homosexual has 2 o’s which are circles but then he realized he can just say gay but spell it like: G🔺Y so he got happy again. I feel like it was one of the reasons he was kicked out of his home, he just likes boys Jeez Ikaruga parents no rights. (I also Headcanon him as autistic but that’s not what this post is about).

Kazunari: In Kazunari Miyoshi’s world he never has to make a decision in his life and that includes sexuality. Show him a guy and a girl and tell him to pick one and he will simply overload until he picks the person who knows the most trivia on classical art or smthing. Kazunari just: adores everyone ever, and that’s okay! After a lot of internalized homophobia and fear, he was able to come out to first a small group of college friends and eventually felt comfortable with the label and was able to express it openly, now he wears it with pride!

Kumon: I really don’t have any explaining to go here, Kumon just feels gay to me. My head can’t wrap around him wanting to be intimate with a girl. I do think there was this big moment of him coming out to Juza and Juza just going “s’okay.” Then they hug and get ice cream

Banri: Banri is bisexual with a straight pride flag and a Juza Preference. Catch him at the straight pride parade telling “those Homo’s that they’re going to burn.” While making out with Juza against a wall. That’s canon I don’t take criticism

Juza: Also Gay, I feel like Kumon came out first and Juza did research and was like “oh me too.” And just thought about how he’s never actually liked a girl and thought boys were kinda pretty and oh crap Settsu slicked his hair back oh crap oh crap pretty men.

Taichi: Taichi is bisexual, with his preferences being as random as his hair. Except no weird 1/4 quarters going on. Idk where I was going with that analogy I’m sorry. Taichi just likes the humans and wants to go kiss kiss with them all, and then bring them along on his journey for fame and popularity!

Omi: Listen, Omi is the mother of Mankai, and as the mother he loves everyone unconditionally. He also totally wanted to kiss Nachi I’m sorry. I feel like Omi has a male preference, but only by a bit as he loves everyone! He is a good boy and brings all the snacks and water to the pride parades so his friends stay healthy :)

Sakyo: Sakyo is the straight~ supportive dad who doesn’t care if you’re gay straight bi pan anything as long as you pay your taxes. Was probably a little confused at first just because. Probably said “LGBT? Isn’t that a sandwich.” But he got informed did research and is now a huge ally! After more research he identifies specifically as graysexual/romantic as he feels rarely any romantic attraction at all unless under certain circumstances aka Izumi Tachibana. I akso think he suspected that Azami was LGBT for a bit before he came out so he wanted to do research so that Azami would feel comfortable coming out when he was ready. Also he can’t like, not support Sakoda (who I Headcanon as gay :) )

Azami: Azami is bi-aro. Sex? Nah he won’t even hold your hand before marriage, however he will love you no matter your gender. I also see him with a female preference just from his straight upbringing and it’s the title he feels most comfortable with after some internalized homophobia, especially with how his dad shamed him for liking makeup. He is still getting used to the LGBT community and I feel like he is still taking baby steps, learning about different identities and wanting to do all he can to support both himself and his fellow actors due to simply not knowing where to start. Don’t worry Azami take you’re time! There is no rush, you are trying to figure yourself out and we all love you so much for it, there is no shame in changing your mind later. We adore you all the same. (If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t only talking to Azami. If you are still questioning yourself it is 100% okay, because honestly I am too. There is no rush to figure yourself out, and I hope you know that we are all here for you!)

Tsumugi: Tsumugi is gay, but I feel like he also had a lot of internalized homophobia. I feel like when he was younger he really liked Tasuku but didn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic, and it took some time before he was able to really discover himself and come to the identity he has currently.

Tasuku: Tasuku is gay and homophobic.

Hisoka: Hisoka is homo-demi-romantic asexual. I feel like it won’t want to date anyone without really earning their trust and feeling safe around them, and after that point he still will be pretty shy romantically, but it is very much understandable and we all still love Hisoka

Homare: Homare is pan. He doesn’t really care about gender, he just wants someone who will love him and his poetry without seeing him as broken. I feel like after his last relationship he was hesitant to date again, but after some time and help from the rest of winter troupe he was able to rediscover himself. (Also autistic Homare go brrrr)

Azuma: Azuma is an old gay man who just thinks boobs are neat. That’s it that’s the post sent tweet turn off replies.

Guy: New color who this? This is because I didn’t know what to put for Guy, so he simply doesn’t identify as anything. I don’t know a lot about Guy but I know enough to feel like relationships would be very awkward and touchy for him due to his problems with emotions and expression. He isn’t straight, but he doesn’t really identify as anything either. He’s just: Guy. Which is more than valid

[oh also all of winter is Poly and they’re boyfriends thanks for coming to my Ted talk]

Hope you all liked these! Of course they are all my own opinion and you don’t have to agree with all, they’re just how I feel!! Feel free to reply or reblog with your own opinions or Headcanons!!

[extorchic]

Sk8 the Infinity is my obsession but it ends up next week

Sk8 is special, it became kind of like an obsession in just about a month. I got invested in the story and 've grown to really care about the characters, specially Reki and Langa. I want to write a bit (well not really “a bit” because there’s a lot in my head) about Renga, I haven’t been as passionate for a ship in a while, it’s taken over my blog, for example. So by clicking “Read more” there’s some sort of a timeline of their interactions, some personal thoughts and its impact on me, as a gay man and rep and so on.

Now, some may argue that since it's a sports anime, it's supposed to focus on skateboarding BUT, the relationship between the characters takes the spotlight more often than in other shows of the genre. This may be a staple on Hiroko Utsumi's works, which has been previously portrayed in Free!, but I've seen that Sk8 has taken this to an eleven.

The relationship between Reki and Langa is one that grows progressively throughout the series, and skateboarding seems to be a sort of vehicle for that to happen:

They start as strangers that have found a common interest in skating, Reki had previously lost a friend and was desperately looking for someone to share his passion with and Langa had lost his father and his passion for snowboarding, which had sunk him in a state of disinterest for everything. This changes when they meet.

In episode 2 we see their bond expanding as Reki teaches Langa the basics and in episode 3 their friendship is solidly cemented.

Episodes 4 and 5 shows how this friendship grows into outright concern for each other safety, episode 6 once again show how protective they can be to each other but also introduces Reki's self-esteem issues which lead to...

Episode 7, the rift. Reki feels that he's getting left behind, maybe some bits of jealousy, and Langa's just too focused on feeling the thrill that is skateboarding that he just doesn't notice Reki's issue, that's why he thinks he wouldn't mind him breaking their promise. Episode 8 shows how heart-wrenching is for Langa to have this distance between him and Reki.

It is at this point that the relationship loses all the chances it had to be platonic, at least for me. Aside from the scene between Langa and his mom which seems to confirm that he indeed feels more that friendship, it also shows Reki longing for him but fearful of a reunion. That's why he goes undercover to see his race (after Joe's suggestion), and in episode 9, he not only defends Langa from people talking on his back, but also it's him calling Langa's name that gives the latter the boost to defeat Joe. Of course I can't avoid mentioning how Langa feels absolutely no thrill skateboarding unless Reki's there with him (as in "it's meaningless without you") and the beat of his heart returns only after he hears Reki calling for him.

Episode 10 has Langa continuing looking for Reki, as he's finally realized how much he cherish him and their relationship, but Reki still had to go through his own conflicting thoughts and emotions, which similar to what happened last episode, only surface when confronted to someone (Tadashi in this case) talking against something he loves, which makes him realize he loves skateboarding and doing it with Langa more than having any negative emotion.

Their reunion is probably the most emotional moment in the series: They skate together and enjoy it to the max, and not only that, Langa also tells Reki how much he means to him, not because Reki needed a compliment, but because Langa was overflowing with admiration for him. Then they share their mutual desire to skate with each other for eternity. Finally episode 11 shows them behaving like they used to, but Langa's more conscious on how he must appreciate what's dear to him and Reki finally going forward without fear. The renewed bond also boosts Reki during his race with Adam.

So, after all of this, it's safe to say that the show's plot relies HEAVILY on this relationship, more so than on skating itself despite also being centric to the story. Despite this, there are still some people, yes, "dude-bros" that argue on how they're "just friends" or "bros being bros". I'd disagree by saying that in even very close platonic friendships or even sibling relationships, there's a sense of separation, a division of some sort. It is also true that it's important to represent male platonic bonding, but Reki and Langa's relationship and how it’s been built goes a lot deeper than that just being platonic.

Is this LGBTQ+ representative? I've listed only some narrative points that very strongly suggest a romantic subtext, besides them there are plenty of visual features that support this approach (the eyes reflection thing, color-coding, symbolism, two freaking men in a love hotel, even if it was played for laughs) as well as the merchandise (specially the CindeReki CD drama). However, without a very explicit reveal or a confirmation, it'd be all left as subtextual speculation. And it'd be a bummer because we need this kind of rep, we need to see stories where two people meet after having left some traumatic experience, grow to care for each other and help each other to overcome those traumas, through laughing and sharing activities that they can both enjoy and be passionate about, even if there's obstacles on the way, so much so that when they're apart the pain is unbearable. I mean, of that isn't love, what is it?

As a gay man myself I've felt related to these two characters, in a way they already represent me, personally. But if that happened to end up as just fan interpretation, I’d feel something is missing somehow, dissatisified dissappointed to an extent, but I wouldn’t resent the series, nor the creators. The series relies heavily on the relationship for its narrative but it also offers other things: Amazing animation and music, lovable characters, an enticing story, I can tell it’s done with passion and most importantly it’s a lot of fun! Emotional, but fun! As I mentioned, it’s made me feel so many things in a single month and has inspired me as well. Besides, it’s quite apparent that they do love each other, they mean the world to each other. If I speak completely honestly, I just want the two of them to skate together in Okinawa infinitely forever, and that’s what they want to do. Maybe if we focus too much and judge on whether it is or not rep, maybe we can’t enjoy the series at its maximum, Yes, it is annoying to see some fans dismissing the romantic potential, but the normalizaton of sexual orientation diversity is, to this day, a work in process. I guess the best thing we can do is show our best side to the world, as queer people in general and as allies.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still freaking want this ship to be indisputably romantic in the canon, maybe more than I’ve wanted any of my ships ever before, and there’s still an episode left, I hadn’t lost hope, and hoping is the main thing you can do at the shipping game. What else can be done? To ship with honor, respecting everyone (fellow fans, creators, staff on the internet) and not getting into needless arguments or just creating a bad atomosphere in the fandom. It is a community after all, we need to get along, live and let live.

[nxvalunxsis]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘  𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘 . 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐞 : Noah

tagged by:  @latibulx ( thank you!! 💕 ) tagging: @ofpearlsxgods @clairdclunc @starlingisms @dualcolor

𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓼.

full  name: Noh Jaeho aka Noah historical  connection: none age: 22 birthday: September 13 ethnic  group:  asian nationality: korean languages: korean & some english sexual  orientation: unsure romantic  orientation: unsure relationship  status: it's complicated ( @latibulx is to blame! xD ) home  town/area: seoul, south korea current  home: studio apartment in seoul profession: barista and artist

𝓹𝓱𝔂𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵.

hair: brown eyes: brown nose: regular sized & straight face: round lips: full complexion: fair tattoos: none, but he would like to get one height: 182cm build: fit usual  hair  style: short to medium length with frequently changing color usual  face  look: plain & simple & natural usual  clothing: comfortable, whatever he's in the mood for

𝓹𝓱𝔂𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓰𝔂.

fears: bugs aspiration: making his art into a steady career positive  traits: outgoing, patient, open-minded negative  traits: impulsive, forgetful, indecisive mbti: enfp zodiac: virgo temperament: sanguine animal: fox vice: none ghosts: no afterlife: maybe reincarnation: maybe aliens: yes moral  alignment: lawful good educational  level: university, degree in art & culture

𝓯𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵𝔂.

father:  yes mother: yes siblings: none spouse: none children: none extended  family: grandparents, uncles & aunts, cousins

𝓯𝓪𝓿𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓼

book: art books movie: joker 5 songs: mike perry & hot shade - lighthouse, alexander oscar, svea - complicated, lauv - invisible things, jp saxe - hey stupid, i love you, ava max - freaking me out holiday: halloween month: october season: fall place: countryside weather: rainy sounds: thunder, wind, walking through fresh snow scents: fresh cotton, rain tastes: lemon, fried chicken feels: anything soft animal: foxes, dogs, ferrets number: 21 colour: black, purple

𝓮𝔁𝓽𝓻𝓪.

talents: drawing, dancing turn  ons: gentle touches, breath on his skin, nibbling on his jaw and neck turn  offs: anything that’s rough aesthetic: pastel colors quotes: art speaks where words are unable to explain

𝓯𝓬 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓸.

main  fc: choi yeonjun alt  fc: none older fc: none younger fc: none voice claim:  choi yeonjun

𝓶𝓾𝓷 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼.

q1:  if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie,   what  would  it  be  called,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? a1: no idea for a name but it would probably be a movie where he would go on a journey to find himself and meet lots of different kind of people on the way that help him figure out who he is and who he wants to be. q2:  what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? a2: chill beats, soft instrumentals q3:  why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?    a3: just like i start writing any character, i had an idea and went for it. q4:  what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? a4: i wanted to have someone “normal” and someone younger among my muses. q5:  describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.    a5: honestly, i don’t think there’s anything i truly dislike about him. of course, there are things he does and says that i don’t agree with but it’s all part of his own personal growth and character development. q6:  what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?    a6: being patient, open-minded, and indecisive q7:  how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?     a7: he probably wishes that i’d be more outgoing and worry less about anything and everything. q8:  what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?    a8: he’s only interacting with @latibulx‘s gureum right now and all of their interactions are interesting because they shape both of their characters and personalities. i love those two together. q9:  what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? a9: mostly wanting to explore his character and see how his personality develops. q10:  how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?        a10: no idea