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drenix004 · 2 months

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𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐄

Soshiro Hoshina x Fem!Oc!

CHAPTER THREE

MASTERLIST | A.O | PR | CH.1 | CH.2 | CH.3

English is not my mother tongue, so there may be spelling errors. An apology for that in advance :D

The Jadees filled the room, much to Naomi's dissatisfaction, interrupting the silence that had reigned from the beginning of the lesson. The matriarch watched apathetically the quadrupeds suffering because of the almost always cruel training sessions to which he subjected them daily.

All four were standing on Split with 50 pounds of weight on their ankles. Their bodies trembled, especially their raised legs. His sweaty skin shone under the cold light of the room, and the sticky sensation added to his discomfort.

They had already been in the same position for two hours, and although they tried to stay firm, the exhaustion was too much. Their bodies were hurting; they felt a feeling of burning in each joint, which extended like a burning fire, without mercy consuming their muscles.

“Don’t let her down!” Naomi hit Ana's hip hard when her leg began to fall.

The blow of the metal vent against the skin caused the four to close their eyes, while the youngest endured the pain, preventing another sound from escaping from her mouth. I knew the blow would leave a very ugly mark in a few hours.

Liana was also trying to withstand, but the wounds on her legs from a previous punishment made it difficult for her to balance. Each move was additional torture, but she could not afford to show weakness in front of Naomi.

"Don't make me repeat the same thing," warned Naomi; her voice was sharp and cold as ice as she walked around them. His steps seemed not to be heard by normal ears, but they resonated.

The quadrupeds could feel and hear the wood twilight slightly with every step that the older albino took thanks to his developed ear; every step of Naomi was a reminder of the absolute power that she exercised over the girls. No one dared to challenge her; they knew the consequences too well. Their eyes remained fixed forward, fighting against pain and exhaustion, hoping that torture would soon end.

“Up!” Naomi hit Liana now, her fan leaving an immediate red mark on the already damaged skin. A stifled lamentation escaped from her lips, but she forced herself to correct her posture, visibly trembling.

The room was full of tension. The quadruplets fought not to collapse while Naomi watched with cold satisfaction. Every pigeon, every suppressed tear fed his cruelty. For her, this training was not just a test of physical endurance, but a lesson of submission and obedience.

The Albina had an obsession with keeping the four under control; their cruelty and coldness were nothing more than a reflection of repressed feelings of years ago, directed against someone from her past.

“Don’t forget who you are and why you are here,” Naomi finally said, with a voice of contempt. “Weakness has no place in this family. You are a negotiating chip given by your mother; your job will be to protect, serve and give your life if necessary for the country,” she stopped in front of Liana, “and bring heirs.”

Negotiating a chip... they always remembered the same thing without shame on their faces. The clan already had Hinata as its future successor; their purpose was to fill the old man's vacuum as hunters; they went to the battlefield instead of Hinata.

“Down.” The matriarch released his fan, letting it hang by a rope tied to his wrist, and struck twice as the sisters lowered their legs. Two servants entered the room, each with a real naginata and a wooden one. “The wooden one is no longer needed.” She grabbed the longest and put herself in position. “Lilia, move forward. You will begin your training at naginatajutsu from today.”

Lilia swallowed vigorously as she advanced and took the other naginata in her hands, grabbing the axis while her sisters were kneeling. The weapon was heavy, which would make it slow since it was not used to the weight of the sword.

Naomi made the first move with speed and precision, surprising the younger, who tried to block the blow as best she could. The sword was on his neck, and although she pressed to push him, the sword remained against his skin. From there, a thin line of blood began to emerge, staining the white skin of his neck.

Her grandmother withdrew the naginata and returned to her position, her eyes like a predator, ready to attack her while the other three waited for her turn with a feeling of nausea for what was to come to them.

Today they would leave the dojo with cuts; that was clear.

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“Slower, animal,” Lilia hissed in pain when Ana pressed a cotton ball with disinfectant on the cut on her right shoulder.

“Who are you calling an animal?” Ana pressed the wound, causing another hiss from her sister. “Be thankful I’m helping you.”

“You’re a savage,” Lilian chimed in, who was helping Liana bandage her legs.

The four were in Lilia’s room, half-naked; all they had on were their lower undergarments as they attended to each other’s wounds from the naginata training.

“Grandma’s the savage, look how she left Liana.” Ana continued, pointing out the now more damaged wounds on the second quadruplet.

The sisters not only had cuts but also bruises on different parts of their bodies. Naomi hadn’t been satisfied with cutting them; she had also hit them mercilessly with the shaft of the weapon.

Liana had a significant disadvantage among the four when it was her turn, as the wounds on the soles of her feet had not completely healed, especially those on her shins, which were more recent. This was something Naomi took advantage of, hitting her there the most to destabilize and cut her.

“It’s only the beginning,” Lilia let Ana finish disinfecting her wounds before applying gauze patches. “Over time we’ll get used to the pain.”

Liana, on the other hand, preferred to remain silent and listen to her sisters. They were a good distraction from the throbbing pain in her body.

“More than we’ve already endured?” Lilian finished bandaging one leg and moved on to the other. “I wish we had been born into another family; everything would be much easier.”

“If that were the case, we wouldn’t have been born, at least not all of us.” Ana came closer to help once she finished with the eldest. “But at least…”

“We would be loved.”

Lilian completed what she wanted to say with a distant look while she continued to bandage, and a silence formed after that.

“It’s not worth thinking about that anymore,” Liana’s voice was muffled by the pillow she was using for support while lying face down. “We were born into this family, end of story.”

The sound of shinai clashing reached her ears despite being at the entrance of the Hoshina house; the sound came from different parts, confirming that they trained in various areas, which she remembered from the wings Soshiro had shown her during the tour.

“I’ll come for you in a few hours,” Taka, the driver, spoke, making her turn her gaze to him.

“Thank you for bringing me.” Liana made a small bow with her head, which brought a slight smile to the driver.

A Hoshina employee came out just as the car drove away, and with a courtesy she was not used to, invited her to enter.

The treatment certainly made her uncomfortable, but it didn’t reflect in her behavior or gaze. She was a blank slate.

The man, whom she deduced was in his twenties, guided her through several corridors to an outdoor area before leaving without saying anything else.

Her crimson eyes looked around with slight curiosity as she continued walking toward where she heard light pants, along with the sound of the wind being cut by repetitive movements.

Silently, she approached, a few meters away was Soshiro brandishing a shinai in the air, his hakama dirty and stained with soil. Liana was dressed similarly to him, the only difference being her red hakama with her family’s kamon embroidered on the back of her white hakui.

Liana sat silently, watching her fiancé intently for a few minutes; the other’s breathing made it clear he was already exhausted, but he kept swinging the bamboo sword. He was persistent, his effort showing in his arms and posture, but how he was breathing wasn’t helping, so she decided to give him a little lesson.

“You’re breathing wrong.”

Her words made Soshiro jump slightly from the scare, which caused a fleeting smile from her.

“When… did you arrive?”

“A few minutes ago.”

“What?” Soshiro tilted his head slightly to one side. Was he so focused that he didn’t notice the pretty girl? Perhaps his brother’s teasing words put him in his bubble while practicing, and he didn’t notice Liana’s arrival.

“You’re breathing wrong; it makes you tire more easily.” Liana stood up and approached Soshiro. “Get in position; I’ll show you a little trick.”

He did as requested while waiting for the instruction, but what he didn’t expect was to feel Liana’s hands on his back and chest. He froze in place, unable to move a muscle under the touch of the young woman.

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¡The tag list is open!

and I remind you that first I upload the chapters to wattpad in spanish :D

#soshiro hoshina #hoshina soshiro #kn8 #kaiju no 8 x reader #kaiju no. 8 #soshiro x oc #husband!soshiro #hoshina x reader #fem oc #husband hoshina #soshiro #hoshina #hoshina soshiro x wife! reader

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neptunesenceladus · 5 months

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Wanted to do a list of some of my favourite fics across fandoms so here it is! En Enceladus’s favs (as of April 2024). This was actually going to just be my most recent ones but i ended up going through all the recs in my bookmarks, so, these are sorted into fandom to make it easier for you.

DC Fics:

Tractors by @lieu42

DC firstly lieu42 is cool af, so note that down. If you in a mood for time travel and Tim Drake having a crisis then this is definitely for you. I love it so much I bound a physical copy. actually just read everything by him, you will not regret it.

New Wave by @yellowocaballero

DC What if Steph was the first Robin? You should know I love Steph and this is probably the fic that cemented that, I really love how she is portrayed and the 90s skater aesthetic. this fic and tractors are probably my top two recs so go read them now please and thank you

Frequency by @cryptocism

DC, Teen I truly don't know how to sum this up. Basically Thaddeus Thawn "disappears" so CRAYDL activates clones of him. It's so so good and only got one more chapter until it is complete! Also the song November by Sparkbird fits one of the characters (Six) so so well.

Zugzwang by Hinn_Raven

DC, Teen Steph is dead so why is the new talon that Cass is seeing around strangely familiar?

The Juniper Suite by @shhhenanigans

DC, Teen, M, and E (currently 4 parts, first is T and last is E) Genuanly can't describe this one. It's jayroy, with this twisted fairytale body horror theme. so big warnings for body horror, I really love how the author writes all of it and plays with tense and imagery.

Time (to protect you) by Blueseabird2

DC, Teen Dick Grayson and Constantine go back in time to try and save everyone. It's mostly cute batfamily fanon with angst, it was my first DC fic I read (with the exception of Dark Matter) so has a special place in my heart (also the reason I have read so much Hellblazer)

Marvel/MCU Fics:

Pigeon and Crow by @deniigi

Marvel, Teen Peter Parker and Johnny Storm become friends. Deniigi always has beautiful writing and this is no exception. Personally love the wordplay.

Peter Parker's Tapeworm by Ginevra_Benci

MCU, Teen Firstly, the tapeworm is a metaphor. This one is what if the spell at the end of nwh failed and even Peter forgot he was Spider-man. Its really good, especially how the memory loss and displacement is written.

The Lost and Forgotten by @litcraz

MCU, Teen believe it or not, this one was written before nwh, litcraz just fully predicted it. Peter has to make a very bad deal and everyone forgets he exists, but he keeps ending up back in the Avengers path.

Star Wars Fics:

hope has bloody knuckles by @independent-variables

SW, Teen Legally required to star the SW section of this with two independent-variables fic, their writing is so much to me (I literally binged all 4 pages of their star wars fics on ao3). This one is about after the Clone Wars, Davijaan moves to Pantora with Cody to heal after the war. He reunites with a civilian he met once and slowly falls in love. Examines person hood, healing, love, and siblings. (oh and the authors settings in Pantora are inspired by Alaska and are so freaking beautiful)

sing back to the red bird, soldier by @independent-variables

SW, Teen I was hard-pressed to make a choice of just one more from this author, but since I can't list all of them here is another favourite. It's about Rex discovering what it means to be free, and have a choice beyond brainwashing, and then offering freedom to all his brothers. It uses elements of Tatooine slave culture by @fialleril, which is all just so beautiful, so definitely check out them as well!

Dielectric Breakdown by @jessepinwheel

SW, Teen Quite likely the first clone wars fic I read? I love a good mystery and this fic has that with a very fulfilling ending. Obi-Wan kills the Chancellor and goes into hiding toward the end of the war. Five years later he's presumed dead but Cody doesn't believe that and wants to know why he betrayed everyone.

Message Traffic by @skitzofreak

SW, G and Teen This is a must read for anyone. It's all written as correspondence, transcripts, and droid logs, as a post rogue one fix-it. It's actually amazing how much the story makes you invested while you are very clearly behind a fourth wall. I adore it so much.

floating, sinking by shuofthewind

SW, not-rated another everyone survives rogue one fix-it. I just really love rogue one and seeing all the characters get more. Also the perspective switches are really really good.

False Dichotomy by nsmorig (@far-sector)

SW, M One that was recommended to me (by independent-variables). Its dark and has body horror so I loved it. The way Cody is written from both his own perspective and others is in such a way that you can really understand who he is. Truly one of the Cody fics. There is also a sequel that's a wip and is also amazing (I'm still thinking about it).

Bucket of Bolts by @independent-variables

SW, G haha, I lied. have another inderpendent-variables fic. This one looks at Ahsoka and Rex in-between the end of tcw and start of rebels. I love them and whatever it is they have going on.

All Their Tomorrows by @breakfastteatime

SW: Jedi Fallen Order, Teen Horror!!! The Mantis crew find an abandoned ship floating in space and its super creepy and leads them to investigating a dark faction of force sensitives.

Six extras from assorted fandoms:

Talk Me Home by @comebacknow

The Maze Runner, Mature I love tmr so much, never not thinking about it. This beautiful work covers the six months in-between the end of the scorch trials (movie) and the death cure (movie). I've read it multiple times, it expands on both the characters and world building so much.

the scar i can't reverse (the more it heals, the worse it hurts) by EverythingButTheKitchenSink (ElvisHasLeftTheBuilding)

The Maze Runner, Mature I've been following this fic since it was only a couple chapters, its really brilliant. Lots of time travel shit and trauma and seeing Thomas through everyone else's eyes. I would also recommend going through a few of this authors other works as well if you enjoy!

Once & Future by spqr

The Witcher, Mature If you haven't read anything by spqr, congrats, you're missing out. This one is a kind of sleeping beauty au, where Geralt is a statue and Jaskier accidentally wakes him up. They then have to go on a quest to save everyone Geralt holds dear.

Silver and Copper by Heronfem

The Witcher, Mature I love this cause, horror. It gets pretty dark, please mind the tags if horror is not your forte. Jaskier is cursed so a witcher is hired to save him.

Vanishing Act by nockout

Harry Potter, Mature This is probably the only time I'll recommend a harry potter fic, but it's truly worth it. This is a noir detectivy thing that starts by being spread over two different points in time that slowly meet. I have no clue how the author keeps all the plotlines together cause, wow. It also follows an original character which I really love. I'm a few chapters behind that latest update so am feeling like a reread is in order.

can we be seventeen? by acennabeth

PJO, Teen ending with some fluff. This is just percabeth getting a break from everything and being teenagers for an evening. it's so special to me

#i wrote this instead of studying btw #worth it #now i have a list of fics i need to reread #please note that i mostly read stuff that makes me feel severe emotions #so majority of these have likely made me cry at least once #this also dod take me a couple hours to make #but i feel like i might do it more often #because i've found heaps i want to reread #there are a lot of star wars fics here because that's my current obsession #and i want to save the dc fics for if i ever finish writing up my big dc fic rec list #plus i've gotten really into the dc comics at the moment so struggle with how ooc many dc fic is #fandom read the source material challenge (or at least if you are gonna discuss canon)#anyway tell me what you think of these!!#cause i love them!#dc fic recs #star wars fic recs #marvel fic recs #dc #star wars #marvel #mcu #witcher #tmr #oh and if you find any mistakes in this (such as links not working) please lmk

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greyplainsttrpg · 2 months

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5e Villain Arc 3

Sorry for the delay on this. I was working as a bartender for CNN during the RNC here in Milwaukee. Those were like 12 hour days that go well into the early morning, and those consecutive shifts are hard on me. I now have enough brain-space to continue my 5e villain arc.

This is about the Beast Master Ranger, and why it is emblematic of larger problems in 5e.

The Beast Master is truly horrific. At 3rd level, you get a friendo (so long as they are not larger than a medium creature). ONE friendo. Just one. You are a master of exactly one beast. Wow. Truly, I have mastered taming animals. It would be a real shame if this archetype was undermined by a few, easily accessible elements in the game.

So, what does this friendo do? Well, you can tell it to move anywhere within your movement for free "(no action required)". Side-point, if ONLY we had a key word for actions that can be done without costing either your "action" or "bonus action." A "free action," perchance? Image from SRD. Remember what they took from us.

Back on track with the point. Cool, I can send my friendo anywhere within its movement. Once it gets there, what can it do? Oh. I can use MY action to make it either Attack, Dash, Disengage, Dodge, or Help? MY action. The friendo uses MY action to do a shittier version of what I could do. Don't worry, once I get Extra Attack, I can still use AN attack on my turn if the friendo also attacks (not if it does anything else, however). It gets up to 4 times Ranger Level in Hit Points, also known as Wizard HP without a constitution modifier and no spellcasting.

At 7th Level, I can make my pig do two things (again, with my action) SO LONG AS NEITHER OF THEM ARE ATTACK. Now, I can disengage AND dash. Wow. Incredible.

At 11th Level, the beast FINALLY gets an extra Attack. However, again, I must stress--what the hell? MY ACTION?

At 15th Level, if I cast a buffing spell on myself, the friendo also gets it. Cool. Why is this not a 3rd or 7th level feature?

Summary of archetype finished, what the hell were they thinking? How is this class significantly better than just using animal handling on a war dog or a trained bear? Oh wait, young adventurer, Animal Handling does not do what you expect.

This skill is so limited and specific, it nearly never comes up during play. Animal Handling, very specifically, does not let you train animals. The only way to train animals, or should I say AN animal, is through the Beast Master Ranger Archetype. Big lmao. I looked up "Animal Handling" into my web browser search engine to see what GMs think about this skill. I got this result which I find to be indicative and very funny. This was the first result besides listing of Skills, word per word, from the book, so assumedly this might be what the average player encounters if they look up this skill. I mean no ill will to this person, but may I suggest maybe playing a different game?

They capitulate that the rules do not allow you to tame or train animals. However, they suggest that "most GMs allow it anyways." And internet funny people let me do it? Don't you want to be like cool internet funny people? But most GMs should not allow it because that directly interferes with the Beast Master Ranger. It is like, literally, the only thing they can do.

This is a prime example of 5e being ridiculous. On the one hand, they don't want to give martials super-human powers because "that's not realistic." Usually, people point to magic and say "well that's not realistic either." True, but I find a more compelling argument to be that 5e consistently limits what you can do that IS literally possible. Such as training animals.

Side note: Did you know that the current pigeon is a domesticated animal (and then let outside without supervision, thus a feral species)? Like, the pigeon as we generally experience it is not a natural creature. That's why they are such "assholes" and take up space so boldly on city streets. They are not assholes. We bred them to be comfortable around people. They are just not intimidated by people like other animals because we bred that out of them. Very funny.

Pigeons are impossible in the framework of D&D 5e, because it is literally impossible to domesticate more than a single animal at a time, and only level 3 Rangers can even attempt to perform animal husbandry with a single animal. Cops can train their dogs to pretend to smell weed in my car, and cops do not have a high wisdom score, nor are they at least level 3 rangers (but park rangers with rescue dogs might be). Dogs are impossible. How are there dogs in D&D 5e. Are there just enough Beast Master Rangers that they can manage to breed wolves over hundreds or thousands of years to be best friends with us? Pigs? Impossible. Cows? Impossible. Chickens? Impossible. None of these animals can be tamed or trained in any capacity. You can just calm them down (if they are already domesticated, despite this being fundamentally impossible, rules as written) or read their intentions (hopefully their intentions are "I want my progenitors to be domesticated animals, please").

Not only can martials not do super-hero feats, they also can't do basic, normal things. I know that rangers are not strictly "martial" characters, but their spells are... not great.

Ranger spells that effect yourself that can also meaningfully help the beast (like, that it can actually use the effect):

Jump (niche),

Longstrider (by 15th level, not great)

Speak with Animals (I gues the animal can now speak with animals? that's funny)

Barkskin (you will not benefit from this, but considering how shit your friendo is, it might be worth doing?)

Darkvision (niche, because there's a good chance both you and your friendo can see pretty well in the dark)

Find Traps (unironically, the best spell of its level to slap onto a friendo)

Lesser Restoration (if both you and the friendo need this spell, then you save a level 2 spell slot, and there was much rejoicing)

Locate Animals or Plants (not a good spell, not helped by a friendo considering range is 5 miles)

Pass Without Trace (you have two nodes of this, maybe? That can be useful within the range that you can control the friendo?)

Protection from Poison (niche + better resolved with a potion + same problem as Lesser Restoration + L + ratio)

Nondetection (lmao, now your dog or whatever isn't giving off psychic traces--cool)

Protection from Energy (actually usable. First spell since Longstrider that has a consistent use-case, btw)

Speak with Plants (lmao)

Water Breathing (Demon Slayer is cringe)

Water Walk (niche)

Freedom of Movement (has uses, not as consistent as Barkskin or Protection from Energy)

Locate Creature (same problem as Locate Animals or Plants)

Stoneskin (now we're talking. only consistently useful spell since Protection from Energy, btw)

Commune with Nature (this technically applies to your friendo, however there is no additional effect, except that if somebody cast Speak with Animals, then they could get that information out of the friendo instead of you, for whatever reason)

Tree Stride (this could be useful, actually)

This leaves us with around 6 spells you would consistently consider casting for the benefit of your friendo: Longstrider, Barkskin, Find Traps, Protection from Energy, Stoneskin, and Tree Stride. A couple of spells will see occasional use: Jump, Pass without Trace, Water Breathing, Water Walking, and Freedom of Movement. The rest are terrible. Is this really worth waiting until 15th level?

The key issue here, and why the class is so horrible (to the point of dooming the world to no domesticated animals) is the author's perception of action-economy cheating. All game developers need to consider their action economy when designing their game. I feel that WotC design D&D's action economy with similar consideration to Magic: The Gathering. I am no master of Magic: The Gathering. I tend not to like playing it, personally, but it's a fine enough game (for clarification). Cards in Magic that allow the Player to "mana-cheat" are generally considered to be good. There is a scale to this, of course, but it is a generally powerful effect. WotC seem to perceive action economy similar to how they perceive mana (from my experience playing both games). A Character's level and features are akin to their Mana, and the thing that they are doing similar to the text of a card. Some cards, such as the Bear, are honest cards with attack and health. They are like characters who are not specialized to do that action with various proficiency. Think of a Wizard making a melee attack: that's a bear. Other cards are 3/3 with upside (apparently Mayhem Devil is good? idk enough about Magic: The Gathering to care). Those are characters are specialized in that action. Think of the Paladin using smite, and compare that to the wizard. Then there is mana-cheating, basically being able to play more cards then you are "supposed to" during the turn-number/land on field (which could be considered akin to character level). If the Beast Master Ranger could perform an action and command their beast to make an action, that would be considered akin to mana cheating. The Ranger is cheating the action economy by getting "extra attack" (with downside of the extra attack sucking ass because it comes from a 1/4 at max HD creature) before level 5. "THAT WOULD BE TOO POWERFUL!" Squawked Chris Perkins, perched on his stand, hunched over the WotC writers as he ruffles his wings (for some reason, idk, this is the imagery that came to mind lol). Meanwhile, the Moon Druid could turn into a bear... last level... and get a multi-attack from being a bear. And the effect of Longstrider from being a bear. Plus a bunch of extra health from being a bear. Plus extra strength from being a bear.

I just. I just don't understand. Like, I literally understand what they were thinking, I believe, but I cannot manifest into my brain why they considered an extra attack or action from a 1/4 hd creature to be "unfair."

Side-note: how is the beast companion capable of taking the "help" action? Like, how? What can it do? How is it helping with Dexterity (Stealth), or Dexterity (Slight of Hand)? I can see Help as a contextual option based on the kind of animal and what they are being asked to do, but I feel there are better ways to address this (this will come up later).

The most tragic thing about the Beast Master Ranger is that their special gimmick is largely outclassed by the spell, Find Familiar. Not only is this spell better than the Beast Master Features in several ways (as the level three version, but also into the future for a while), but anyone can access it at Level 4, with upside. If you take the Magic Initiate Feat, you can choose Find Familiar as your Spell AND you get two Wizard cantrips. That's pretty good. Any human can be better than the beast master at Level 1 with their bonus feat.

The major benefit of Find Familiar is that the familiar can act independently of your character. There are other upsides:

You can communicate telepathically, which I do not think you can do as a Beast Master Ranger.

If it dies, it simply rematerializes if you cast this again. You do not have to go find another animal (which can be a serious obstacle).

You can unsummon it, unlike the Beast Master's Companion. In any environment that is not the wilderness, the familiar is simply less awkward to maintain.

The Familiar can CHANGE ITS FORM by casting the spell again.

You can send touch spells to another character via the familiar. This is MUCH better than sharing a spell that effects the user with the animal companion ("in many cases"), and it comes PRE-BUILT INTO THE SPELL. This is not a 15th level feature of the familiar. You get this right out of the box. What the shit? Was the writer of this spell not aware of how particularly cruel this mechanic is to the Beast Master Ranger? It is actually so funny.

"Well, if you're so smart, how what would YOU do to fix it?" a 5e defender might say. I have two fixes to this.

Remove it. Just remove the archetype from the game. It should never have been published. It is bad. Replace it with something better.

Okay, so let's say that the Ranger has a number of "Points" to spend equal to their Ranger Class. These points can be spent on a number of Beast Companions, giving them special traits (like bonus to attack or damage, being proficient in skills, bonus to AC, etc). The Ranger can use their action to make all their companions take actions. There would be limits to this that make sense. For example, say at Level 3, the maximum CR a companion can be is 1/4, but at 7th level this increases to 1/2, at 11th to 3/4, and 15th to 1. I don't know how much each CR monster would cost in terms of Points (2 points per 1/4 CR seems reasonable, but that would require testing), and I don't off-hand know what the various elements you could attach to the beasts are. This basic framework, however, would make you truly feel like a master of beasts. This way, Wisdom (Animal Handling) can also be a real skill that does what you would expect it to do. Training a beast to do certain actions is not nearly as powerful as turning a bunch of friendos into awesome and versatile little fellows.

Okay. That's it for this post. Beast Master Ranger sucks because Wizards of the Coats genuinely does not understand or respect their action economy. That's the TL;DR of it all.

-trans rights -free Palestine -WotC sucks -buy my book

#anti 5e action #ttrpg #buy my books #roleplaying games #tabletop roleplaying #ttrpg design #tabletop

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 7 months

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The Waves are Rising and Rising

|Beginning| |Previous|

Chapter 13

(Please mentally insert the "Uh-oh ____!" BDG meme edited to say "Uh-oh Jin Guangyao!", please and thank you.) Chapter 14 will post on Friday!

--//--

Jinlintai is a place that never truly sleeps, but in the weeks leading up to little Jin Ling’s hundred day celebration it seems to hum with constant activity, and Jin Guangyao sits relatively unobtrusively in the middle of all of it to make sure it all goes according to plan. The one saving grace in all of it is, unsurprisingly, the insane amount of qi from his dual (triple?) cultivation that keeps him going for even longer than Lan Xichen’s qi alone had.

He spends nearly two full weeks pain-free and feeling rested when he wakes even if he only sleeps for a few hours at a time, and when he can feel the influx of energy finally beginning to fade he nearly cries. Hardly the most embarrassing part of this whole… debacle, but he doesn’t exactly have the time to go through his perfect recall of every single thing he said and did whilst in the heat of the moment in order to be properly horrified by it.

(He might not have the time but, regardless, he cannot help the disjointed memories hitting him at random moments like assassins with incredible aim. Hurrying between the seamstresses and the pigeon coops and the kitchens and the captain of the guard’s quarters all before his presence is demanded by one of his cousins to attend to their afternoon meal is hardly the time to contemplate why in the heavens he thought it was acceptable to arch his back at such a deep angle and mutter filthy, private things about Lan Xichen in Nie Mingjue’s ear while Lan Xichen was sitting right there, watching and listening. And yet as he lifts the hems of his robes to avoid the worst of the muck around the coops whilst searching for Jin-furen’s favorite cat, he definitely spares a moment to visibly cringe away from how he must have looked — how he must have sounded [i.e. utterly ridiculous] — and he’s most definitely horrified by it whether the has the time to be or not.)

Of course in between the flashes of internal mortification and the days where he’s truly kept so busy it’s nearly better than having any moments to consider his own performance, he’s struck by bouts of yearning so intense that more than once he’s had to physically stop and lean for a moment against a wall. It feels like it should be fake, that sort of wanting that he does not have time for, but it hits him just the same, the absence of his sworn brothers like a missing limb. Jinlintai is just as hostile as ever, just as cold and cruel; nothing that happens to him within the confines of Jinlintai’s walls is a surprise anymore, and yet having known what it’s like to be… cherished, to be held and wanted and doted on even for a single night makes it all the harder to bear it when his own family throws whatever is at hand straight at his head, or spits for the thousandth time that he’s soiling their home simply by having been invited into it.

He’d even known that this would happen, he’d known that softening his heart for two men he doesn’t see nearly as often as he would like to would spell his own disaster, and he’d done it anyway. He’s losing control of himself in ways that are entirely unacceptable and jeopardising everything he had worked so hard to achieve. He’d been weak to ask for their last meeting, and he’d been weak to let Nie Mingjue continue to call him A-Yao, and weaker still to let Lan Xichen take him yet again after Nie Mingjue had come for the third time during their ‘punishment’ and had pleaded to be allowed to rest and watch instead.

He’d been so pathetic putting on a performance of pleasure for the both of them (and he hates that it hadn’t even been a performance, it had been his stupid heart clawing for any scrap of affection and finding not only scraps but an entire feast of it laid out for the taking and he’d taken it all simply because it was there without truly considering the consequences of what it would do to his peace of mind once they all returned to their duties).

“Ah… Lianfang-zun?”

“Yes?” Jin Guangyao turns to find the head gardener standing a polite distance away, wringing his hands.

“It seems that Jin-gongzi mistook the latest cuttings of flowers for the banquet hall as a gift for Jin-shao-furen and had them moved to their quarters as a… romantic gesture..”

Jin Guangyao holds in a soul-deep sigh with effort and smiles to hide his irritation. Of course Jin Zixuan would believe that the whole world revolves around his own little love affair (and of course his has been legitimized for too many reasons both fair and not for him to bother listing, unlike Jin Guangyao’s which must never be allowed to see the light of day and it’s not a love affair in the first place, he mustn’t think of it like that-) and because this is Jinlintai, and Jin Zixuan its heir, and Jin Ling his heir, whatever the esteemed Jin-gongzi wants for his sweet Jin-shao-furen, the darling little Lady of Jinlintai, then Jin Zixuan shall have.

“I will send for others to be delivered at once, it would hardly do to upset either of them so close to such an auspicious occasion,” Jin Guangyao replies smoothly, none of his roiling envy slipping past his iron-clad mask of polite servitude.

“Thank you, Lianfang-zun,” the gardener breathes and wisely takes his leave with an extra bow, secure in the knowledge that he won’t have to be the bearer of bad news to anyone but Jin Guangyao, whose feelings are likely believed to be nonexistent, let alone something worth worrying over.

Not that he would want something as ridiculous as an entire banquet hall’s worth of flowers for a romantic gesture, but some small part of him wonders if maybe Lan Xichen would like something like that. He’s unbearably romantic (now is not the time to remember their entire night alone together in vivid detail, though for some reason it is somehow preferable and much less horrifying than remembering letting Nie Mingjue pin him down and kiss him senseless while Lan Xichen fucked him and they spoke to each other much more intimately than they ever have before — no, he’s not thinking about it!) and it’s not as if anyone would ever think to offer such a competent, elegant, self-assured Sect Leader an over-the-top romantic gesture simply because he’d like it.

Perhaps that’s the sort of thing Jin Guangyao could do for him if their arrangement were allowed to be public. Or, rather, had he not stipulated from the very beginning that this arrangement of theirs remain strictly unromantic in every way shape and form for its entire duration. The headache of publicly courting a Great Sect Leader (let alone, possibly, two) aside, he had insisted that no feelings sneak their way into this arrangement. This is his fault, for wanting things that he can’t have, for wanting things that he’d explicitly and emphatically stated he didn’t want (couldn’t want) when they began.

He created this whole mess, really, when he sets the issue of Wen Qing suggesting dual cultivation aside, so he supposes he’d just better accept that and move on.

He has work to do anyway, and no amount of fantasizing about being wrapped up safely in his sworn brothers’ arms again, trading soft kisses and talking about nothing important until morning had lightened the gaps in the window shutter, is going to lighten his workload, nor make it any more bearable.

The final week of preparations passes in a mildly-surreal blur, with no lingering qi to take the edge of pain and exhaustion off of everything that gets piled onto his plate higher and higher, with nothing being removed to accommodate it all.

At least his sworn brothers are coming. He repeats the thought like a mantra as he finalizes menus, and as he checks to make sure Xue Yang has a fresh corpse to experiment on lest he get bored enough to emerge and cause an extremely unwanted scene, and as he reassures the gardener that all the replacement flowers have arrived, been accounted for, and successfully installed in the banquet hall. He directs the servants in their final decorative preparations, and when he finally steps away to enjoy the last few minutes of quiet before guests are expected to arrive he closes his eyes and tells himself that the only guests he truly cares about will be here soon enough, perhaps in mere minutes —

“A-Yao!”

Jin Guangyao turns, startled to find, of all people, Jin Zixuan hurrying towards him.

“There you are,” he says as his jog slows to a stop beside Jin Guangyao. “You know it was actually really hard to find you?”

Yes, Jin Guangyao thinks, perhaps a little uncharitably, because I’m actually busy.

He doesn’t say that, of course. “Apologies, xiongzhang, what can I do for you?”

“A-Li needs a word with you.”

Now?! Jin Guangyao thinks frantically, taking stock of all the other far more important things he still needs to get done before the celebrations start.

“Now?” he asks calmly, smiling.

“If you can,” Jin Zixuan says. Which Jin Guangyao knows is the slightly politer way of him saying yes, now. Jin Guangyao supposes he should be thankful that at least his brother is attempting politeness. It’s more than most of the rest of their family bothers with.

“I am, of course, always at Jin-shao-furen’s disposal.”

Strangely, the response makes Jin Zixuan wrinkle his nose, but he doesn’t address it, simply sweeping his arm up with an elegant billow of his sleeve to indicate the direction in which they should travel. “I’ll take you to her, she’s in the east gardens.”

As they set off in the indicated direction, Jin Guangyao reflects with a kind of distant amusement that if he liked his brother more, he might find it… cute, how comfortable — eager, even — he is being at his wife’s beck and call like this. Since their relationship is non-existent and awkward at best, and mutually (he assumes mutually, if the narrow-eyed looks Jin Zixuan had shot him during their brief crossover at the Cloud Recesses lectures were any indication) resentful at worst, he mostly is curious to see how long this marital infatuation lasts, and exactly how much Jin Zixuan turns out to take after their father.

So far, very little indeed, which is… curious.

Jin Zixuan walks a little ahead of him, setting the pace fast enough that Jin Guangyao, with his shorter legs (he’s a perfectly average height, thank you very much, it’s just his curse to be surrounded by stupid long-legged giants) has to hurry a little to keep up. Every now and then Jin Zixuan glances over his shoulder with a strange pinched expression that makes anxiety bubble in the pit of Jin Guangyao’s stomach.

Abruptly — so abruptly that Jin Guangyao almost walks smack into his back — Jin Zixuan stops and pivots on his heel. Jin Guangyao stares up at him and tries not to look quite as utterly bewildered as he feels.

“A-Yao,” Jin Zixuan says, shoulders stiff and voice devoid of inflection in a way that suggests rehearsal, “I wanted to- uh, we wanted to- you’ve been working very hard. On A-Ling’s hundred day celebration, and um. I’m sorry that muqin has been…” he swallows, gaze darting away then back to Jin Guangyao’s face, “well… muqin.”

When it becomes clear that Jin Zixuan has nothing more to say, Jin Guangyao says, “I see.”

He very definitely does not, but it is apparently enough to mollify Jin Zixuan, who gives a jerky nod then continues to lead Jin Guangyao onwards.

Just around the next corner is a bench, surrounded by beautiful flowers and appointed with luxurious silk drapes and cushions, and upon them sits Jiang Yanli with Jin Ling cradled in the crook of her arm. At her side stands Luo Qingyang. Both of their heads are bent, looking down at the baby — and both of them look up sharply at the sound of footsteps.

Jiang Yanli’s friendly face breaks into a wide, pleased smile (Jin Guangyao tells himself that it’s simply the maternal influence from a Yunmeng woman that softens his heart, and pushes the loneliness that he knows is lurking just below the surface deeper). Luo Qingyang stands up, stands to attention like the seasoned soldier she is, and fixes Jin Guangyao with a very particular kind of look; they haven’t interacted a great deal during his time in Lanling, and she’s never treated him with anything other than utmost politeness, but he’s nonetheless confident that she does not trust him. It makes sense, he supposes, that as someone who has been Jin Zixuan’s closest friend and aide for their whole lives, she might have a desire to protect such a guileless man from those so obviously more competent.

“Jin-shao-furen,” Jin Guangyao dips into a bow as he reaches the two women, “Luo-guniang. Good afternoon.”

“A-Yao,” Jiang Yanli says, infusing his name with apparently genuine warmth, “I assume A-Xuan has…?”

…Explained whatever the hell is going on here? No he has not. Jin Guangyao lets just a smidgeon of bemusement slip into his smile, and takes great delight in the way Jiang Yanli’s own smile turns somewhat exasperated in the direction of her husband. He does not miss the way Luo Qingyang lifts a hand to hide what is definitely a grin behind her sleeve.

“I see. Well, A-Yao, we wanted to thank you, for all the tremendous work you’ve put into A-Ling’s big day. You’ve been so diligent and conscientious, and I’m sure it will be an absolutely splendid event. And all of that whilst flying back and forth to Qinghe, helping Chifeng-zun with his health! A-Yao must be truly exhausted. Will you take a moment to sit with me and rest?”

Luo Qingyang seems to pick up on some unspoken cue, as after giving both Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan a nod, she sets off a little way down the path, and settles herself there like a sentry.

Like a lookout.

Oh.

Dazed, Jin Guangyao allows Jin Zixuan to usher him down onto the bench, before the man marches to the other end of the path to take up his own guard post. Jiang Yanli cheerfully instructs him on how he should hold his arms, and then — with no hesitation or reluctance — places Jin Ling, heir to the Lanling Jin, in Jin Guangyao’s hold.

Jin Guangyao’s mind feels curiously empty as his heart feels so treacherously full. He swallows down the rush of emotion as he gazes down at his nephew, who must be well used to being passed around from adult to adult by now, as he does little more than yawn and blink vaguely up at him. Jin Guangyao cannot decide if the baby is lighter or heavier than he expected. Jiang Yanli tucks some of the blankets that came unwrapped back around her son, then brushes his fat cheek with the back of her knuckles fondly.

“A-Ling,” she says softly, “this is your shushu.”

Something tightly wound in Jin Guangyao’s chest abruptly unravels and, to his mortification, he finds himself desperately blinking back tears.

Shushu. They want him to be part of this child’s family. There are people here in the middle of Jinlintai, the deadly viper pit, the place where he is almost universally degraded and treated like a servant, who- who actually-

“A-Yao, are you alright?” Jiang Yanli asks.

Jin Guangyao is saved from having to answer by the sound of Luo Qingyang’s voice calling out a greeting at a somewhat unnatural volume; a warning. He passes Jin Ling back into his mother’s arms quickly and jumps to his feet.

“Thank you,” he chokes out, bends at the waist in a rushed mess of a bow, then flees.

It takes even longer than it did after he was rejected from holding Jin Ling to regain his composure, and Jin Guangyao isn’t sure what that means, and isn’t sure that he cares. Thankfully, it is shortly afterwards that guests begin arriving for the banquet, and nothing forces him to pull himself together more effectively than having work to do. He greets people and directs servants and pours tea and manages refreshments and bows and bows and bows, and throughout it all, everything feels oddly distant, as if he is witnessing it through the thin veil of one of Lan Xichen’s translucent overrobes. His mind and body function on automatic, barely requiring his input, as his heart roils and tries desperately to process those few precious minutes in the gardens.

Jiang Yanli — and presumably Jin Zixuan — want Jin Guangyao to be part of Jin Ling’s family. They went out of their way, risking incurring the wrath of Jin-furen, to invite him to hold the baby. Where the rest of the family has shunned and humiliated him, they, utterly unexpectedly, made him feel wanted.

He's considered the possibility of it being some kind of elaborate… scheme. Of course he has. And it's certainly possible; perhaps they are playing some strange long game to try and undermine his place in the household by setting Jin-furen even more aggressively against him, but…

The more he thinks about it, the less that makes sense. For one thing, Jin Zixuan is simply not a scheming kind of person. For another, there's really nothing that he or Jiang Yanli could gain from turning this against him that they don’t already have.

Jin Guangyao greets more guests and ignores his tired, aching feet (he has noticed that the intensive infusions of Lan Xichen’s qi have, to his amazement and delight, actually slightly reduced his day-to-day pain even now that the most noticeable effects have worn off, but he's still a far cry from the physical capabilities of his sworn brothers), and tries not to cling too hard to that tiny sliver of kindness in the gardens as his father dismisses him from a conversation with two minor sect leaders with a careless wave of his hand, like he’s nothing — like he’s a servant.

Unfilial! A voice in his mind hisses, and it sounds like his mother. Meng Shi had been a kind and patient parent, but one of the very few times she'd raised her voice to him had been when, at age eight, after hours of being treated like dirt by the other women in the brothel, the reassurances that Jin Guangshan would return one day to save them simply had not been enough. He'd lost his temper, bellowing that if his stupid stinking father really loved them, he would have come to get them years ago!

How dare you speak that way about him! Do not be unfilial!

She'd apologised later, and soothed his tears, but the admonition had stayed with him like a brand on his skin. Unfilial was one of the worst things a son could be. He knew that.

But was expecting basic kindness and respect from his family unfilial?

The disquieting thoughts are thankfully interrupted by the moment he has been looking forward to all day: the arrival of the Lan contingent.

He'd been pleased to see the Nie arrive about midway through the first wave of guests — Nie Huaisang is always effusively happy to see him, and Nie Mingjue is actually surprisingly pleasant (Jin Guangyao allows himself just a few seconds to linger cringe-free in the memories of Nie Mingjue settling in beneath him, entirely naked and looking up at him like there was nothing that could steal his attention away from Jin Guangyao in his lap, and the way he can now spot a smile in his older sworn brother's eyes, even though his mouth barely moves during their typical, stiltedly polite greeting) — but as always, Lan Xichen's arrival eclipses all else.

Lan Xichen lifts him up out of his bow and his world briefly shrinks to a pinpoint of bright delight, which vanishes immediately like a bubble being popped when he hears his odious cousin's voice call out.

"Wei Wuxian! I need to speak with you."

Wei Wuxian had arrived with the Lan group, which is not a great surprise considering the amount of time he spends in Gusu nowadays even as oblivious to Lan Wangji’s affections as he apparently still is, though it does mean that, as Jin Zixun storms across the hall towards his target with clear hostile intent, he is blocked by a glowering wall of Hanguang-jun.

There's a sort of pleasing reflection here, with Lan Wangji shielding Wei Wuxian from Jin Zixun, the same way that Wei Wuxian had shielded Lan Wangji from Jin Zixun when he had stepped in to drink for him at the Phoenix Mountain hunt. Lan Xichen would definitely appreciate the poetic romance of it all, Jin Guangyao will have to make sure to mention it to him later.

It's easier to focus on that than the realisation that yet another of his meticulously planned events appears to be rapidly going to shit — before it can even properly begin!

"Uh," says Wei Wuxian, peering around Lan Wangji with a vaguely anxious smile, "who are you again?"

It is a very small consolation for Jin Guangyao to glance at Lan Xichen and see his own deep exasperation there in his sworn brother’s eyes.

"You-!" Jin Zixun blurts furiously — though he does not get much further, as Jiang Yanli sweeps over, Jin Ling in her arms. As it is her son's celebration, she has a certain amount of hosting authority, and she uses it to politely intervene.

"Jin-er-gongzi, A-Xian, is there a problem? Why don't we all take our seats and have some tea so we can talk about it?"

Jin Zixuan, never far from his wife's side nowadays, hurries across the hall to stand beside her and offer his tacit silent support. He's hardly threatening, and he does little more than loom, but his presence combined with Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen so close by does at least seem to discourage some of Jin Zixun’s hostility. He swallows, then rallies his anger again for a second attempt.

“I will not sit and drink with the man who has cursed me!”

Gasps echo around the hall as the chatter immediately dies down. In his peripheral vision, Jin Guangyao sees the way his father stiffens, and his grip tightens on his wine cup. Jin-furen looks like she’s mere seconds from vaulting the table in front of her to strangle her nephew.

“Tang-xiong,” Jin Guangyao says quickly, daring to press just the lightest of touches to his cousin’s arm, to try and guide him away, “I’m certain there must have been some misunderstanding here! How could Wei-gongzi have possibly cursed you? He’s been in Gusu these last few months, helping with the Wen prisoners.”

“And when I’ve not been in Gusu I’ve been in Yunmeng — Jiang Cheng can vouch for me!” Wei Wuxian flails out an arm to gesture expansively towards Jiang Wanyin, whose grip is getting perilously tight on his own wine cup. “Besides, I don’t even know who you are! Why would I curse you?”

Jin Zixun splutters, but his anger rallies again, in spite of all reason.

“Well- well- who else would have the face to cast such a heinous curse besides someone who has dabbled in dark tricks?”

Jin Zixuan finally decides to get properly involved, shaking his head in confusion. “What curse are you talking about, Zixun? You’ve not mentioned this before.” To his credit — in probably the most politically astute decision of his life — he tries to take their cousin by the elbow, as if to lead him away to somewhere more private. “Perhaps we can-”

“I’m talking about this curse!” Jin Zixun snarls, yanking his arm from Jin Zixuan’s grip and throwing open the front of his robes to bare his chest to the hall.

The skin is red and mottled with small dots, which upon closer examination prove to be holes that are swollen around the edges and oozing blood, like the flesh is being eaten away in tiny increments. It is, unmistakably, the Hundred Holes Curse.

The whole of Fragrance Hall erupts into loud cries of horror. Jin Zixuan recoils and instinctively pushes Jiang Yanli behind him, as if to protect her and Jin Ling from what is definitely not an infectious condition. Lan Wangji actually does the same with Wei Wuxian (and if the man doesn’t realise what’s going on between them from that move, then there’s no helping him). As always, Jin Guangyao’s eyes dart immediately over to his father, to try and gauge his reaction; did he know about this curse? Did he approve of this stunt — at Jin Ling’s hundred day celebration? Jin Guangshan’s expression is stony, and difficult to read, and that alone makes a pulse of fear run through Jin Guangyao’s system. His network of informants had discovered evidence of Jin Zixun being unwell, but Jin Guangyao had simply assumed that, as the doctors had not been alerted, it was just an embarrassing venereal disease and not looked further into it to avoid adding yet one more task to his to-do list — long enough now that it could probably reach the bottom of the stairs to Jinlintai. More fool him.

“Zixun!” Jin-furen barks, leaping to her feet. “What do you think you’re doing? Put that away!”

Wei Wuxian peers around the broad Lan shoulders currently shielding him. “That’s the Hundred Holes Curse! Whoever casts it gets the curse reflected back at them. Why would I curse myself if I don’t even remember who you are?”

"There seems like an easy way to solve this," Lan Xichen says, as even and reasonable as always. "If the curse reflects back on the one who casts it, then Wei-gongzi can prove that he was not the one who cast it by opening his robes and showing us."

Wei Wuxian’s reaction is… intriguing. The man characterised by his loudspoken arrogance actually cringes, and shrinks back behind Lan Wangji. "Ah… is that really necessary?" He asks weakly.

"A-Xian?" Prompts Jiang Yanli gently. "Would you mind? It would resolve this very quickly.”

Jiang Wanyin stands and (thankfully without destroying any of the crockery) steps over his table to approach the centre of the ruckus. “Come on, Wei Wuxian, just show him and we can get on with the party. This is supposed to be about A-Ling, not whatever weird drama is going on.”

“Ah- well, haha, I…”

“See!” Jin Zixun crows, “He’s stalling! Why would he not just prove it to us unless he was the one who did it?”

“Jin-er-gongzi, A-Xian has been far too busy working hard helping with the prisoners in Gusu and travelling back and forth to Yunmeng, he certainly has not had time to curse you,” Jiang Yanli says with incredibly uncharacteristic sharpness. It actually makes Jin Zixun shrink back a little (Jin Guangyao mentally adds particular hatred of Jin Zixun to his list of things he knows about Jiang Yanli, and re-evaluates his perception of her spine).

“Come on, what’s the big deal?” Jiang Wanyin thumps Wei Wuxian on the arm, “Just show him what he wants to see, alright? Then we can move on.”

Wei Wuxian swallows. His reluctance is utterly bizarre.

“I guess you were going to find out sooner or later,” Wei Wuxian says, laughing wetly. He grasps his lapels (why are his hands shaking?) and parts his robes.

His chest is bare of any curse. There are no holes, no tiny circular weeping wounds. He is absolved.

But there is a thick, poorly healed scar running down the centre of his abdomen, starting at his diaphragm and disappearing into the ‘v’ of his robes.

Jin Guangyao worked as Wen Ruohan’s torturer. He knows what kind of intense trauma would be required to form a scar like that, and it’s the kind of trauma people don’t usually walk away from. It’s too neat and straight to have been made in battle, and must have been stitched up very soon afterwards for him not to have just bled out immediately. Surgery, perhaps? Did Wei Wuxian have some kind of surgery that his siblings didn’t know about? But what kind of surgery would he be so incredibly reluctant to disclose? Ideas form and spin through his mind, and he carefully catalogs each one to be addressed at a slightly more opportune time.

Jiang Wanyin freezes as soon as the scar is revealed, and his hand seemingly unconsciously moves to cover the same area on his own body. His eyes are wide and glassy as he stares at his shixiong.

“What does that mean?” He croaks. “What the fuck does that mean? How did you get that?”

“A-Xian…” Jiang Yanli whispers shakily. Jin Zixuan quickly moves to lift the baby from her trembling arms so that she can take Wei Wuxian by the shoulders and look into his eyes.

“Can we just talk about it later?” Wei Wuxian pleads, voice cracking as he pulls his robes back closed. “Today is meant to be about A-Ling. Let’s just talk about it later.”

Whatever the Jiang siblings say in response to that is drowned out by Jin-furen’s shrill voice. “Now you’ve proven yourself an idiot, Zixun, can we move on with A-Ling’s celebration?”

With the scandalised whispers growing, along with Jin-furen’s outraged admonishments, Jin Zixun’s courage fails and he pulls his robes back together, looking hunted. His eyes dart towards Jin Guangshan anxiously—

So his father had sanctioned it. But to what end? And why hadn’t he shared these plans with him? Jin Guangshan is a smart man and it would have been very clear to him that this stunt wouldn’t work, so… has Jin Zixun fallen out of his favour and been deliberately humiliated? Or is this some sort of trial run for some future scheme? Jin Guangyao scrutinises his father’s face but can glean nothing helpful.

Shit. Shit. What's going on? And why has he not been told about it?

Jin Zixuan claps a fraternal sort of hand on Jin Zixun’s shoulder and (again, with a surprising amount of political astuteness) ushers him towards a servant, giving quiet but urgent instructions to get him to the doctor immediately. Jiang Wanyin and Jiang Yanli are reluctantly peeling away from Wei Wuxian, whilst Lan Wangji is staring at him with completely undisguised anguished longing. The rest of the hall seems to be settling (thank the gods and all of his venerated ancestors, another ruined social event might just finish him off at this point) and Jin Guangyao, satisfied that the altercation has been resolved for now, scurries off to direct the servants and bring in more wine — and makes a mental note to get someone to tail the Jiangs and find out exactly what Wei Wuxian has been hiding.

There are many traditions and ceremonies to be attended to on such an important day, marking the arrival of the new heir, the first son of a new generation. Jin Guangyao is kept just as busy as he expects, and braces himself to be called in by his father as soon as the guests separate for the afternoon break. Doubtless he will have a thousand recriminations and a fresh list of demands, and yet, Jin Guangshan leaves the hall, and Jin Guangyao lingers, waiting to be summoned, and…

Nothing. An hour passes, Jin Guangyao lets himself be talked into taking tea with Lan Xichen and the Nie brothers, and… still nothing. His father does not send for him.

Somehow, it’s more unnerving to not be facing his wrath. He feels on edge all afternoon, and it’s not at all helped by having Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue at such close proximity; being near them without being able to touch them makes him feel itchy under his skin, makes him feel twitchy and out of sorts. It’s not even a horny thing, it’s not sex he’s craving, it’s just… closeness. As impossible as it is under the current circumstances, he wants them everywhere. He wants their qi in his core again, humming under his skin. He wants Nie Mingjue’s arms squeezing him back into his body and Lan Xichen’s boundless affection barely held in check by his and Nie Mingjue’s teasing.

Honestly, it’s still mildly humiliating. These dual cultivation sessions are slowly eroding his self-control in an incredibly unhelpful way without seeming to offer him any day-to-day benefits to outweigh it, and it’s then made actively worse by the way Nie Huaisang cheerfully excuses himself shortly after his first cup of tea with the kind of smirk that makes it clear exactly what he believes is going to take place in his absence.

If they were quite literally anywhere else he might consider it, even outside of Qinghe (see again: eroded self-control). Instead, he and Lan Xichen play Song of Cleansing for Nie Mingjue. The musical cultivation technique is, of course, still more of a temporary preventative measure than a real solution, even after their successful dual cultivation still seems to have improved Nie Mingjue’s temperament in general; but the music works on his temperament too, soothing his jarred nerves and leaving him with unusual ease when he has to take his leave to get the hall ready for the evening meal.

And still his father does not call for him.

He’s probably just busy; probably he’s found someone young and pretty (and hopefully willing) to occupy his time with, and Jin Guangyao ignores the way the concept sends a shudder of unease down his spine because he has far too much to do. He sends servants to replace the wilting flowers, he has the tables reset for the dinner, he checks over every station at the kitchen to ensure all food preferences are accommodated for, and he’s back to the central pavilion in time to greet all of the guests returned from their afternoon rests. Jin Guangshan returns to the hall with the other guests and barely spares Jin Guangyao a glance, which he supposes is likely a good sign.

|NEXT|

#the untamed fanfic #3zun #The Waves are Rising and Rising #Jin Guangyao #Nie Mingjue #Lan Xichen

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saintmeghanmarkle · 6 months

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British Vogue: Reads like Ms clap back to all the negativity around ARO includes the word "snarkiness" at 'people comparing her to 'Goop' and 'Martha Stewart' by u/Plants2552

British Vogue: Reads like Ms clap back to all the negativity around ARO, includes the word "snarkiness" at 'people comparing her to 'Goop' and 'Martha Stewart' This is behind a pay wall so I've only read half but it's sugar on toast.. can any one with a subscription share an archived link?Article Title:The Royal Family Have Been Lifestyle Influencers For Centuries, So Why Is The Duchess Of Sussex Being Criticised For American Riviera Orchard?Link:https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/meghan-markle-american-riviera-orchard-lifestyle-brand-historyBY REBECCA COPE16 March 2024From what I've read it's one big un-informed clap back for Meghan and a big shot fired at the British Royal Family. It also PROVES that Meghan is not interesting unless she is trashing the British Royal Family! And its not that she's commercialising off a pot of jam or using what looks like a Royal Cypher as her logo... she's also posting articles that trash the institution from whence her coveted titles came from. All while Kate is still in recovery.. but then she talks about being bullied when she was Megnant... I hope it comes out that she was never pregnant and she would look like such a fraud for that comment.There's another recent article in The Mirror about Anna Wintour practically salivating over M, albeit quotes from 4 years ago but this was posted yesterday:"She’s a normal California girl who gets up early and does yoga and meditates. She also sent a lot of text messages. I mean, what did they expect? That she was going to send messages via pigeon? I think she’s amazing."With a tie in to ARO (obvs): 'This comes after Meghan announced that she will soon hard-launch her new brand, American Riviera Orchard, following a soft launch on Instagram last week.'And you guessed it.. a cheap shot at the BRF: 'Back in 2020, she wrote that she thought Meghan was "amazing", with her also critiquing some members of the Royal Family at the same time. In Vogue's web series, Go Ask Anna, she said: "I read somewhere that there were members of the royal household that were confused and upset that she woke up so early, at 5am."'Also... this is a contradiction.. did Anna critique members of the Royal family specifically??? Or did Anna question that her staff were upset because they were forced to answer emails at 5am.. those two things are very different...https://ift.tt/qLu7QjK anyone archive?ETA: Please forgive the occassional bad spelling, grammar and punctuation 😅🙏 post link: https://ift.tt/vmeLY9Q author: Plants2552 submitted: March 19, 2024 at 10:44PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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lensman-arms-race · 5 months

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Inspired by this post by striderl, here are the explanations for my characters' serials.

Cygnus (5022)

Inspired by a Cheapshow (podcast) episode in which a character mangled some bingo calls, calling 22 as 'two little swans' instead of the traditional 'two little ducks'. Instantly I knew I had to use that for a character somehow: give them a serial ending in 22 and call them Cygnus (the genus of swans).

The 'Fifty' came later just because I liked the sound of 'Fifty-Twenty-Two'.

Phaeton (1842)

This one actually gets explained in-universe. As Phaeton is a human, they weren't automatically assigned a serial, so they had the opportunity to choose their own one. Phaeton chose 1842 because the atomic numbers of hydrogen, oxygen and molybdenum are 1, 8 and 42. The chemical abbreviations of those elements are H, O and Mo, which can be put together to spell Homo (the genus of humans).

In this way, Phaeton and Cygnus have 'matching' serials; Cygnus's name is an organic genus derived from their serial, whereas Phaeton's serial is digits derived from their organic genus.

Engineer 1668 (lead engineer on the TV Titan's maintenance crew)

It's the melting point (in degrees Celsius) of titanium. (Geddit, titan-ium?)

I wanted to use the Kelvin temperature because Kelvin seems more Science than Celsius, but 1668°C is 1941°K, and 1668 was just a more pleasing number.

Agent 1791 (TV Titan's identity pre-upgrade)

(Yes, the Titan's not actually my character, but [fart])

It's the year of discovery of the element titanium. (Although it was initially named maccanite, and didn't receive the name titanium until 1795.)

Primus (1153) and Icarus (1566) (TV Matriarch's bodyguards)

(Also not actually my characters. But also it appears to be fanon that these two are the Matriarch's bodyguards at all! We've never seen them since their first appearance.)

I devised their nicknames and serials concurrently; I wanted to give them serials that Phaeton could turn into nicknames.

I decided I wanted one of them to be called Primus, so I looked up 4-digit primes looking for one that was both 'pleasing' and was splittable into a pair of 2-digit primes.

For Icarus I looked up asteroid names and numbers until I found one that was both a reasonable character name and had a pleasing number.

Fornax (4304)

The number was just one I found pleasing. The hard part was later coming up with a nickname, after I decided I'd got attached to this character enough to name them.

I initially wanted to carry over Cygnus's theme of 'bird name that's also a constellation'. Unfortunately the birb constellations don't have terribly pleasing names. Besides Cygnus, there's Apus (bird of paradise), Aquila (eagle), Columba (pigeon), Corvus (crow), Grus (crane), Pavo (peafowl), Phoenix (not a real birb), and Tucana (toucan).

Corvus is admittedly kinda cool-sounding, but was a bit too close to Cygnus for my liking. I initially wanted to go with Grus, because I noticed that so far all my named TVs had names ending in -us (Cygnus, Primus, Icarus) and I wanted to continue that theme, but I just couldn't make myself like it as a name, plus it just didn't feel like something Phaeton would pick for them.

In the end I threw out the bird link and kept just the constellation link. Phaeton chooses Fornax as a name just because of that and because 'four' and 'for' sound similar.

(Fornax means 'furnace', and Phaeton means 'one who shines'. So the trio are basically called Shiny, Swan and Oven.)

Other engineers

I literally used random.org to generate numbers, and picked the first 15 that fulfilled my criterion of 'last digit can't be 0' (see link below for why not).

I wanted to give myself a little challenge of coming up with nicknames for existing numbers that I didn't pick, instead of picking numbers that would fit a specific name.

I ended up with two characters with serials ending in 07, so they'll get nicknames to tell them apart. 5007 and 9807 both work on the Titan's propulsion systems and are collectively referred to as 'the Sevens'; 5007 is nicknamed 'Stannum' (Latin for tin, which has atomic number 50) and 9807 is nicknamed 'Ianthe' (for the asteroid 98-Ianthe).

Engineer 9779 is nicknamed Palindrome for obvious reasons.

Unfortunately, one of the numbers random.org gave me was 6918. I considered not using that one, because people will likely assume I added the 69 to be funny, then I thought 'nah, just add it, things like this would be inevitable with procgenned serials'.

There are two engineers with nearly identical serials (because that happens with true randomness): 7672 and 7678. They'll probably get nicknames at some point.

That's the Doylist explanation. The Watsonian explanation of how TV serials are generated is in this post I made earlier this year.

#lensman tags: fanfic

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northernreads · 11 months

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book review

★★★★★

I'm having a hard time putting all of my thoughts into a coherent review so it is likely going to be a bit of a ramble.

While reading this book I couldn't help but be slowed down by all of the explanations for different bookish and publishing terminology, and I kept getting frustrated by it. Even though I know people outside of the bookish/publishing world don't necessarily know what all of this insider jargon means (like what ARC stands for), it felt clunky to have it spelled out. I would be reading and thinking to myself "yeah, yeah, I knoooow, you don't need to tell me" but of course not everyone does know all that stuff. And I think this sticks out so much because the audience for this book is incredibly niche. This a book written for and about the publishing industry as well as the bookish community that halos it (in particular the 'bookternet' community) all of whom don't need all of that jargon explained.

I am genuinely curious to know what people outside this community do think of this book. Does all the satire still make sense? Does it feel so cutting? Does it sting for an outsider too? I just don't think I would have gotten as much out of this book if I wasn't already so aware of everything it is satirizing and it is absolutely part of what made this reading experience so incredible and enjoyable for me.

This book is calling out the publishing industry and it's supposed goals of getting diverse stories. The token representation that is all too often still packaged for white audiences is an obvious and necessary target that Kuang takes aim at. And boy are shots fired. Also tackling the pigeon-holing of "diversity" writers as well as the issue of trauma stories so often being chosen over stories of joy or just plain existing. I hope at least some people in the industry take a good long look in the mirror, but let's be real. So few ever will.

This book is also talking to the online bookish community and it's chronic online-ness. Kuang doesn't stop at those working in publishing either. Another part of a writer's job today seems to be about promoting themselves online and maintaining a social media presence. So of course she fired shots at the 'bookternet' community too.

I was honestly impressed by how succinctly she captured the ridiculousness of being in bookish spaces on the internet. It really just captures Chronic Online-ness, which is so prevalent and loud in bookish internet spaces. Especially on twitter. I have never really gotten involved with book twitter because I never really liked twitter's format, but I have seen the drama spill out into other bookish internet spaces (like booklr) from time to time. And Kuang just got every angle of it so accurately it had me cackling. I have watched the cycle of outrage and posturing and virtue signaling followed by the inevitable turn around against the very person that was previously being defended so. many. times. I remember getting caught up with it the first couple of times over ten years ago and then realizing how shallow everyone's outrage was (including my own) and have become a morbidly curious observer over the years instead.

As I was reading these scenes I was wondering how people that still participate in these drama cycles felt about being so very called out about. And judging by some of the reviews here, it's safe to say that it's not just publishing workers who refuse to look for very long into the mirror after reading this book.

Kuang has been criticized for being too heavy handed in her writing not only for Yellowface but also her previous book, Babel. In Babel I could see why some people felt the themes about colonialism were 'too in-their-face', but that heavy-handedness, to me, was done with purpose. Kuang was not going to let people look away from the violence of Imperialism. She was going to make you confront it again and again and again. It was not a story with a goal of giving readers comfort. Since so many books are published with a white audience in mind, Kuang made sure that white people were forced to take a long look in the mirror, acknowledged their privilege, and learn about the damage of colonialism. That obviously made some white people very uncomfortable.

Yellowface seems to be a very clear response to that criticism. I did not find this book nearly as heavy-handed, instead of hitting readers of the head with The Point as was done with Babel, Kuang just keeps dropping bombs and leaving it with the reader to decide if they will take the time to mull it over. She seems to being saying 'Okay here is The Point. I am not going to spoon feed it to you. But do you even get it though?'. She's not force-feeding us this time, but she's not hiding it in a vague metaphor either. If you don't take the time to contemplate over everything, that's not on Kuang. She's meeting us readers halfway on this one.

I loved getting this book from June's perspective too, it was so well done. She was so diabolical and awful and yet, Kuang is so good and making you wonder if maybe June does have a point. She doesn't though as June is completely unlikable and that's what made this book all the sharper and more compelling.

And that ENDING. Wow. Like a cockroach.

Overall this book was brilliant and ballsy.

This is now my favourite book by Kuang and my absolutely my favourite book of the year.

#booklr #book review #book reviews #mine #rf kuang #yellowface

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heidi891 · 1 year

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Rewatching ML Season 4

Truth: Luka is fed up with Marinette lying to him. Ladybug is put under a truth spell and says that she appreciates Chat Noir’s courage, confidence and jokes. Chat Noir says he’s only that happy with her.

Lies: Marinette watches TV program about Adrien and says his life is awesome, even though sometimes he looks bored or sad. Adrigami scenes. Kagami wants to draw Adrien and says that neither his model poses nor Chat Noir pose is really him. She wants him to be more natural and vulnerable. A few times they almost kiss, but Adrien has to go to help Ladybug. Kagami is fed up with Adrien’s lies. More: Luka vs Adrien and Kagami vs Ladybug. Chat Noir sacrifices himself again.

Gang of Secrets: Ladybug and Chat Noir go to the cinema. Ladybug is frustrated with her love life and doesn’t want to talk about it neither with Chat Noir nor her friends. Marinette is fed up with lying and finally tells Alya that she’s Ladybug.

Mr Pigeon 72: Adrien brought Plagg a big bag full of cheese. He’s “lucky” his father is neglectful, otherwise he would take him to psychologist. Marinette, why are you so stupid (again). Adrien is turned into a pigeon. Adrien is so focused on Marinette that he hits his head when getting in the car.

Furious Fu: —

Sole Crusher: Hi, Zoé. Marinette is short with Chat Noir like Ladybug.

Queen Banana: Chloé wants to be a film star. Adrien wants her to apologise, but she refuses.

Guiltrip: Adrienette moment, Adrien makes googly eyes at Marinette. There’s a pink background, but it’s hard to say if it’s just Marinette who sees her friend this way—it looks like Adrien does too! He comforts Juleka. Chat Noir tries to kill himself. Adrien mocks Chloé.

Optigami: Marinette and Adrien are stuck together in the lift during Akuma attack and they almost reveal themselves.

Sentibubbler: —

Rocketear: Nino thinks Alya’s in love with Chat Noir. Nino tells Adrien that he and Alya are superheroes. Adrien is taken aback that Ladybug let them know their true identities and is worried that Ladybug doesn’t trust him. Nino says Ladybug thinks Chat Noir is disgusting. Adrien is sad during transformation.

Wishmaker: Adrien doesn’t know what he wants to do in the future and says he’s a model now just because his father asked told him to. Marinette and Luka notice Adrien is sad. Adrien again makes googly eyes at Marinette. Luka learns Ladybug and Chat Noir’s true identities. Adrien says that as a child he wanted only to fulfill his parents’ wishes.

Mega Leech: Adrien is shocked to see that his father lied to him about the advertisment. Gabriel treats Adrien’s image as his possession. Adrien is sad and angry. He takes Marinette’s hand during the protest. Chat Noir is possessed by the villain. Adrien notices Marinette is fascinated with the advertisment and isn’t sure what to make of it. Gabriel is angry at Adrien for joining the protest and sends him to his room, touching the wedding ring.

Simpleman: Adrien calls Marinette and asks her to fix a wing that he needs for a photo session. When I watched this for the first time, I thought he genuinely needed her help, but now I think he uses this as an excuse to see her (this isn’t his job to find somebody to fix the wing). Ladybug and Chat Noir almost give the villain their Miraculouses in exchange for sweets.

Dearest Family: Where did Gabriel get the amulet from? I guess my Disney+ has the wrong order of the episodes again. Tikki has an eating disorder. We can see a glimpse of her true form. Gabriel’s talking about destroying the old world and creating a new one, but I don’t think he’s the best source of information about how the wish works.

Crocoduel: Congratulations, Gabriel, Jagged Stone who abandoned his children for years is a better father than you. Chat Noir flirts with every new girl in the team.

Glaciator 2: Ladybug is angry at Chat Noir for his constant declarations of love and throws him in the garbage. Adrien decides to change. He’s sad and cries in the park. Marinette unsuccessfully tries to cheer him up. Gabriel almost sends an Akuma to Adrien, but when he notices it’s his son he stops the Akuma. Gabriel tries to talk to Adrien, but their conversation isn’t going anywhere. Chat Noir is destroying the billboards. How much cheese has he had to take with him? He doesn’t have any bag with him, does he have to go to a shop on every street? I love these Marichat scenes. I want to see Adrien being as sarcastic as Chat Noir here.

Hack-San: Marinette is in a hurry, but she should think about telling Chat Noir she’s leaving Paris. Chat Noir again feels that Ladybug doesn’t trust him. Sincere Ladynoir conversation.

Gabriel Agreste: Adrien brings ill Nathalie a meal and tries to talk to her about his problems. Adrien is compared to an imprisoned princess and Marinette—to a knight. Does Félix suspect that the wedding ring is Adrien’s Amok and try to protect him? Kagami and Félix don’t seem to like each other. Or this is how Félix reacts when he likes somebody. I thought Gabriel tried to kill Félix, but the Akuma goes to the fake wedding ring. OK, so this episode should be before Dearest Family. Félix is now sure that Gabriel created Senti-Gabriel and that he has the Peacock Miraculous.

Ephemeral: Gabriel’s touching his wedding ring when he’s telling Adrien to replace him at the conference. Su-Han tells Ladybug that she should know Chat Noir’s true identity. Marinette cannot believe that Chat Noir is really Adrien. It’s too early for the true reveal: Marinette needs to appreciate Chat Noir too. Marichat needs to happen. Again, neither the reveal nor Adrienette aren’t really problems, it’s the relationship between Adrien and Gabriel: Adrien loves him, but Gabriel is ready to hurt him to achieve his goal. Gabriel’s touching his wedding ring when he’s forcing Adrien to be Akumatised. More: The Reveal & Adrinette. OK, so the Kwamis confirm that the wish destroys the world and recreates it.

Psycomedian: The girls say there’s no love without friendship. Adrien again makes googly eyes at Marinette. Marinette, don’t listen to this clown. This time it’s Ladybug who falls victim to the villain and Chat Noir has to help her.

Qilin: —

Kuro Neko: Adrien feels left out by Ladybug. He gives up his ring and then changes his whole personality to be the Cat she wants him to be. But it’s not the Cat she needs. Plagg says Adrien can be serious around his father and Nathalie, so it’s sad that Ladybug wants him to be like that too. Ladybug says she knows Chat Noir very well while mistaking him for the Sentimonster. Plagg says Adrien is both Adrien and Chat Noir.

Penalteam: Adrien can’t play football.

Risk: Adrien says he doesn’t want to be a model and tells Lila he doesn’t want to listen to her lies. Gabriel wants to send Adrien away. Adrienette moment. Adrien says that it’s like an invisible force stopped him from telling his father he didn’t want to be a model. Félix says he wants to save Adrien.

Strike Back: Ladybug mistakes Félix for Adrien. If she knew Chat Noir’s true identity, she wouldn’t make that mistake. Or if Chat Noir intervened. Félix quietly says that he’s sorry and he betrays the heroes, but in the context of season 5 I can see he isn’t totally evil and selfish. Chat Noir stands by Ladybug and comforts her.

Previous: Rewatching ML Season 3

Next: ML Season 5

#miraculous ladybug #ml season 4 #luka couffaine #lukanette #chat noir #kagami tsuguri #adrigami #adrien agreste #sentiadrien #ml analysis #adrienette #marichat

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queen-of-deans-booty · 1 year

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Dog Dean Afternoon: Part Four

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Summary: Something was taken from you, something so precious a mother should never have to lose. Then, you found something you’ve been searching for ever since your little angel was taken from you. Is this a new beginning or a fire waiting to burn?

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

"I'm going to call Kevin."

Sam takes out his phone and dials your young friend, and Dean sniffs the room as if something delicious is there. He looks around the room and settles on you, but you don't know why. Sam keeps the conversation short and hangs up when he's done.

"So, apparently, the Inuit spell has some side effects."

"Oh, well, that would have been nice to know before I downed it! What kind of side effects?" Dean sighs.

"When you mind meld with an animal, it's possible to start exhibiting some of its behavior."

"Well, how long am I gonna have the urge to...?"

"Sniff butts?" Colonel laughs.

"Oh, whoa. Hey. I don't have the urge to sniff butts," Dean defends himself.

"Yet."

"Do you really h-have the urge to--"

"No! Come on!" Dean cuts his brother off.

Joanna giggles, and Dean points a finger at her. She buries her head in your chest and continues to giggle. You can't help but laugh, but you don't shy away from Dean's glare.

"Come on, this is funny," you laugh.

"Well, Kevin doesn't know how long it'll last. It's not like it's an exact science, you know? Hopefully, when the spell wears off, so will the side effects."

"Okay, well, we need to bring Colonel back to the animal shelter. Maybe we can figure out something else," you say and get up after setting Joanna on her feet. "Sam, do you mind taking the kids to the car?"

"Yeah. Are you okay with this, Noah?"

"Yeah," he nods shyly.

"We'll be right there." Sam takes the kids and Zeus to the car as you gather your things. "We can have Colonel ride in the back with Zeus. That car is very spacious inside."

"What is that smell?"

"What smell?"

Dean sniffs the air and walks closer to you. He presses his body into yours and shoves his face into your neck. You giggle when his stubble tickles your neck, but that giggle stifles into a moan when he nips at your skin.

"You smell like my favorite meal," he growls.

"Dean, stop it," you blush hard. As much as it pains you, you push him away. He tries to go back for more, but you're adamant this time. "You need to take it down a notch. Next thing I know, you'll want to do it doggy style."

You take the leash from Dean and walk Colonel outside.

"Can we?"

Dean is desperate, but it's amusing to see him this way. He locks the motel door and jogs to catch up to you before taking the leash from you.

"Where are we headed?" Colonel asks.

"Back to the shelter."

"To sniff out more clues, maybe dig up something we missed?" he chuckles.

"Alright, one more doggy pun out of you, and I'm gonna have your nuts clipped."

You can't believe Dean is having a conversation with a dog like he's a person. You're never going to let him live this down.

"I hate to break it to you, Hoss. My sack's emptier than Santa's after Christmas."

Something white rains down on the car, and you look up to see a pigeon perched on the street lamp right above the white spot.

"Aw, are you kidding me?" This may not be the Impala, but he doesn't like it when a bird shits on his ride. "Hey, dick move, pigeon!"

"Screw you, asshat," the pigeon responds.

Dean reaches out to Sam who just finished putting the kids in the car.

"What?"

"Wait a minute. Can I hear all animals?" Dean asks Colonel.

"Yep. Animals have a universal language."

"I'm just getting started, too. I'm brewing a really big one. Ha. Bet your ride's gonna look sweet in white."

"What's he saying?" you ask.

"You--he's being a douchebag!"

"Who you calling 'douchebag', douchebag?"

"Oh, shut it, you winged rat!" Dean yells, earning looks from people passing by.

"Dean, calm down," you hiss. "Get in the car."

"Haha. That's right, Sally. Go cry to Mama," the pigeon taunts.

Dean whips out his gun and points it at the bird.

"Oh, that's it, you son of a bitch!"

"Dean!" Sam gasps and shoves his arm down. "Get in the car!"

He waves at the onlookers with an embarrassed face. You're not sure what the bird said to him, but you know Dean didn't like it. You let Colonel hop in the back as you got in next to Joanna. Once everyone is inside, Sam heads back to the animal shelter.

All throughout the ride, Dean, Zeus, and Colonel were sticking their heads out the window with their tongues out. You're so not letting him live this down. This has blackmail written all over it. Sam parks in the back, and you get out before letting the dogs out. You and Sam help the kids out of the car, and Noah clings to your side.

You're walking toward the back entrance when someone walks out with a white female poodle. Both he and Colonel stare at the animal as if they are attracted to it. You roll your eyes and smack Dean's head as you pass him by.

"Yeah," Dean nods once.

You three head inside the shelter with both dogs on leashes. If Dean can talk to other animals, then he might be able to get information from the other animals inside the shelter. Dean talks to a Collie first since she seemed eager to talk.

"So, what else can you tell me about the man with the cowboy hat?"

"Honestly, I couldn't see much. Damn cataracts. You know no one's going to pay for my surgery. Just another casualty of the system, I guess. I don't belong here, you know. I'm pedigreed."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be out of here soon."

"Please. I'm fourteen."

"Good luck... ma'am."

Dean moves to another animal since she isn't much help. The dog in the next kennel speaks to him, but it's nothing useful to Dean.

"Once a day they clean these cages. Once a day!"

"A biscuit. Just one biscuit," another dog begs.

"I need a Raquel Welch poster and a rock hammer."

"I'm shaking the fence, boss. Still shaking the fence."

"Any luck?" Sam asks when Dean reaches the end of the kennels.

"Hardly, and I'm not getting any clues--just a bunch of complaints."

"Hey, pretty boy. Over here," the Yorkie in the last kennel says.

"Yeah, uh, sorry, pal. I'm done for the day."

"But I saw everything! I'll tell you, but it'll cost you."

"What? Are you kidding me? I'm being extorted by a dog," Dean says to you before turning back to the dog. "Well, what do you want, huh? Beggin' strips? Snausages?"

"Bitch, please. If I'm gonna rat someone out, it's got to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub."

"Okay, I guess."

"Not from you, sweetie. From that big one over there."

"She wants a belly rub from you," Dean says to Sam.

"Excuse me?"

"She won't talk unless you're giving her a belly rub. Just do it."

Sam sets Joanna on her feet before reaching inside and picking up the small dog. He lays her on her back and begins to rub her belly.

"Ohh, a cowboy hat and leather pants. The dude's a total closet case."

"Okay, what else can you tell me about the guy other than his outfit?"

"Um, he was carrying a burlap sack for the cats."

"What does he want with the cats?"

"Ooh, attaboy, yes," she moans at the feeling Sam is giving her. "Hell if I know, but he took all of them, except for the one he ate."

"Ew," Dean shudders.

"What is it?" you ask.

"Apparently, our guy has a sweet tooth for kitty cats."

This guy is eating animals? Who the hell is he?

"Oh, and the sack had something written on it," the Yorkie continues.

Sam pauses to regain feeling in his hand, and as soon as he stops, the Yorkie begins to whine. She refuses to talk unless Sam is rubbing her belly. Sam shakes his hand before continuing the action.

"It said 'Avant-Garde Cuisine'. Lucky for you, I read French."

"That's a café on Main Street. No dogs allowed," Colonel says.

"Well, no wonder he smelled like hamburgers and dish soap. We got to go downtown," Dean says to you and Sam. "Apparently, our guy works at a restaurant."

Sam puts the Yorkie back into the kennel, and she whines at the loss of the feeling. She begs for Sam to come back, but Dean stopped listening to her as soon as Sam put her down. You have to wait until the restaurant is closed before you can sneak in, and it closes past midnight. Your girls are sleeping in their car seats, and you really don't want to wake them up. Sam is about to pass out from how tired he is, but he tries to stay awake for the hunt.

"Sam, why don't you stay in the car with the girls?" you ask when his head drops.

"Yeah, okay," he nods.

"Noah, why don't you stay here? We'll be right back."

"No, I want to go with you," he panics and grabs your hand.

You've taken Joanna on plenty of hunts, and you've always protected her. She was much younger than Noah is now, and you see no problem letting him come. It's good practice to see what kind of shit you deal with in case he decides to stay with you.

"Okay, fine, but you need to listen to me if Dean and I tell you to do something."

You take Noah out of the car and get on his level to go over some ground rules. Dean gets out of the car and lets Sam est for a bit. He walks past the window where Zeus is.

"Hey, wait a second," Zeus says.

"I was wondering when you were going to talk to me," Dean chuckles.

"Listen, boss, you should say yes." Before Dean has a chance to question what he's talking about, Zeus continues. "To Noah staying, I mean. She's sad all the time. She puts on a brave face for you and the kids, but deep down, she wants to never stop crying. Seeing her with Noah for the first time, I saw some of that sadness drift away."

Dean looks over at you in thought. You're smiling at Noah, and he can see how happy you are even from where he is.

"Listen, I've been there since you before two returned from Purgatory. I've watched over Maryann and Robert for three months, Joanna for longer. I will always protect them no matter what, but the minute she lost her son, I saw a shift in her. Since she encountered Noah, I'm starting to see the old her back. Think about it, boss."

"Yeah," Dean whispers.

"Okay, time to go in," you say and stand up to your full height.

You take Noah's hand and walk to the locked back door. You use your magic to open it, and you two walk inside carefully. You keep Noah close to you in case this guy shows up and attacks. The restaurant is dark, but you use your magic to light the way. You could turn the actual lights on, but you don't want to alert anyone that you're inside.

"Check this out," Dean whispers. On the wall, there is a photo of the man in a cowboy hat sharpening a knife. "Chef Leo. Do you think he's our guy?"

"Might be. Just be careful."

You walk into the office near the picture on the wall and look through the chef's belongings. You walk past some mice inside a cage and over to the fridge in the back. You open a drawer to find a bunch of pill bottles.

"Whoa, Dean. This drawer is filled with Oxycodone, Tramadol, and Methadone. Not something to take casually."

Dean walks past the desk with the mice and hears something squeaking.

"Help us! Please mister!"

"Over here!"

"Did you hear that? Sounded like little kids."

"No," you shake your head.

"Help. If you don't free us, the chef will eat us."

"She's not lying." Dean looks around to see if he can spot who is talking. "We're in the cage!"

Dean looks over at the mice and bends down to get on their level.

"Eat you?"

"Look in the refrigerator behind you."

Dean turns to see the refrigerator while you're yanking open desk drawers. You find a book of spells and take it out to look through it.

"Hey. Owl brains. Cheetah liver. Grizzly heart," Dean says.

Inside the refrigerator are a bunch of animal organs.

"I found a spell book. Shamanism. It says here whatever animal organ you ingest with the right mix of hoodoo and spices, you temporarily gain the power of that animal. So, if you're munching on owl brains, it bolsters your IQ. if you eat a cheetah liver, you gain super speed. A bear heart means strength. If he's eating this stuff, that would make sense why he constricted the taxidermist and clawed--" You stop short and look at Noah who stares at you with sad eyes. "You know."

"Well, no offense, but why would he want to eat you guys?" Dean asks the mice.

"Uh, we have collapsible spines."

"Look at this, Dean." You take the book over to him. "Lion liver plus eagle heart. Rattlesnake fangs plus anaconda bladder. Baboon brains plus black widow abdomen. He's mixing ingredients."

"What the hell for?"

You're about to answer when you hear a noise come from the main dining hall. You immediately take Noah and place him behind you to protect him, and he grips your waist in fear. Dean takes out his gun while you have your magic. You two step out into the hall and make your way to the kitchen where the noise turns into scraping noises.

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