#why am I just now seeing this ask
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
prettybabybaby Ā· 2 years ago
Note
mafia!poly!marauders or any of them takes reader to kill someone whoā€™s in debt with them. they let reader pull the trigger and blood splatters all over her. and theyā€™re just.. TURNED ON they fuck her then and there
Ā” 18+ only ! Ā” minors do not interact !
content: mafia!poly!marauders, fem!reader, blood
Ā” marauders masterlist !
james and sirius hold the guy up as remus keeps your shaky hand still, cooing in your ear as he puts his finger on yours and pulls the trigger.
you start sobbing when the noise of the gunshot fills the air and your bodyā€™s pushed back by the impact. blood lands in your mouth, the thick, metallic liquid pooling on your tongue as you refuse to swallow. james and sirius let him fall to the floor as they shake off their hands and sirius runs a hand through his silky hair, eyes trailing down your blood splattered body. remus takes the gun from you before you can drop it, shoving it into his waistband as he kisses you, forcing you to swallow the mixture of your bloody spit and his.
you bury your head into jamesā€™ chest as he approaches you and hugs you, praising you as sirius settles behind you, pushing your hair to the side so he can kiss your neck, lapping at the blood drying there. jamesā€™ hands join siriusā€™ in roaming your body as he tilts his head to kiss you, rough fingers tickling your waist as he lifts your shirt.
ā€œyā€™did so well, baby,ā€ remus murmurs beside you, ā€œwant us to show you how well?ā€
567 notes Ā· View notes
corpsentry Ā· 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
1K notes Ā· View notes
persona-brainrot-real Ā· 4 months ago
Text
Sae Niijima is such a good character it drives me insane a little. She's not a mother nor a maternal or doting older sister but instead a twenty four year old who was thrown into a position of responsibility that she never asked for. She loves Makoto just as much as she resents her and its so apparent every time they talk up until November. "Are you studying?" (I want you to do well) (I need you to get a job and stop making my life harder) "I'll use any method necessary to get this promotion" (Life will be easier for us) (So stop distracting me with your problems) "Focus on your future" (I know that you're capable) (I can't afford to waste my time on you, so stop wasting time on others)
Makoto is not only the sole reason she pushes as hard as she does for a promotion, for success, and the reason that she loses herself in her animosity over her fathers death, but also someone she can't stand for so long. Makoto was 14-15 when their father died. Sae was 21. As soon as she got the career she wanted and things started to look up, her stability was robbed from her and she was disillusioned with the system that her father had taught her to rely on and completely adhere to. How do you manage, the daughter of a cop, following his footsteps towards law enforcement, when you're suddenly reminded of how unfair it is? You can't quit, your little sister relies on you and she's so young and struggling just as badly with this grief. So you pick yourself up and you get moving again. You push harder, press further. You abandon your morals and your ethics because punishing criminals (guilty or not) is almost like punishing the man who killed your father.
And the whole time she's fighting for promotions, going for drinks with the SIU Director to make herself more favourable for promotions, trying to navigate being a woman in a competitive, suffocating, male-dominated field, falling behind despite doing so much where others are promoted for doing so little - all the while your little sister comes back from school and her biggest issues are so small compared to yours.
Persona 5 revolves so heavily around grief and loss and change and Sae embodies all of that so well, all of the sharp and unpleasant and jagged parts of grief.
980 notes Ā· View notes
m-a-d-e-l-e-i-n-e Ā· 2 months ago
Text
I hope leftists who think theyā€™re above voting for president or are voting for Jill Stein or whoever because itā€™s their stupid way of protesting the system feel good about themselves, especially if Trump wins partly because of your negligence šŸ˜ I know youā€™re not doing shit to plan the proletarian revolution, especially before January, so you guys better not complain about something harming you that you didnā€™t even bother to try and change
(edit: changed the last part bc I wrote ā€œā€¦if life gets a lot worse for youā€ cause that does nottt sound right at all and I apologize for writing that)
223 notes Ā· View notes
buwheal Ā· 5 months ago
Note
Hello, Spamton!
How's life? Also, do you have any opinions on the Addisons? (Pink, blue, orange, and yellow)
If so, what do you think of them?
Tumblr media
172 notes Ā· View notes
merlins-strawberriesandroses Ā· 5 months ago
Text
The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
186 notes Ā· View notes
royaldollybox Ā· 5 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Good day, I bring ye more The heart killer text posts
This time featuring Kant and Style becuase I am facinated by their friendship
I have yet to recover from my madness
Post 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
82 notes Ā· View notes
lafamilledelioncourt Ā· 4 months ago
Text
them: he manipulated them, killed their daughter, and fucked their heads. he's the villain! he's a sick twisted villain!
me: the 500+ year old vampire? with severe trauma? and zero support for his very obvious neurodivergence? the child sex slave? the dogmatically groomed prized possession? the cult victim? the 'has to figure out how to please people and blend in to survive and avoid further abuse' character? the 'regimented and desperate for order and sense of purpose so yeah he tries to do the job he is forced into to the letter' coven leader? the 'frequently abandoned, misused, and neglected so clearly he's developed frantic control issues to not lose his only sense of stability and comfort' one?
Tumblr media
next day edit: hold on, i'm not done. i'm sitting here at lunch the next day and i really can not shake that some people do not get the point.
it's not that i'm gonna excuse villainous behavior. the tiny gremlin did all that shit, and his ass is gonna go in time out, but TO ME, the whole fucking point of the show is that no one is really the villain.
that's because they are ALL FUCKING AWFUL. all differently bad, all differently broken. the closest thing to a saint we got is madeline, so sure go off calling her the only good one im in agreement, but they are ALL A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE.
the beauty of this entire series, particularly the books for me but i do love the show, is that the nuance and wiggle room between monstrosities and man is the poetry of the story. it is beautiful that these creatures have this tiny gasps of heart and happiness and hope despite who and what they are.
i can scream into the void all week about armand and claudia and daniel bc those are the characters i most identify with bc of my own personal trauma. HOWEVER, that does not take away my ability to see that EVERYONE needs therapy.
put their asses on a vampiric SSRI, tell them to all fuck eachother and get the orgy over with, and then have an honest to god conversation about their feelings.
DAMN.
okay anyway, going back to work.
129 notes Ā· View notes
ancha-aus Ā· 3 months ago
Text
RealAgeAU Drabble - Crush Gossip
*slides in with a grin* I am here and we are here for a special installment. @spotaus get in here friend!
Blue centered drabble :D
Just as promised :3
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
*-------------------------*
Blue moves the cleaned plates towards the cabinet before returning to the sink. He puts the whiskey glasses in and starts washing them carefully. He really enjoyed the night and their little gyftmas celebration.
Even if some aspects could have gone better. Or not happened at all.
Blue loves Dream. He really loves his best friend. But Dream needs to stop trying to help him by getting Ink to notice him.
It is fine.
A yawn and Blue doesnā€™t look away from the water ā€œYou are up early.ā€
His brother yawns as he joins his side ā€œYou are up early.ā€ He sounds grumpy ā€œYou are already finished cleaning?ā€
Blue nods as he takes care to wash the smaller glasses ā€œOf course. I know how to handle my liquor.ā€ And he shoots Stretch a grin before frowning ā€œDonā€™t you want to sleep in? Alphys will oversleep today so not notice you skipping work for a bit and Chara isnā€™t meant to arrive until a few days.ā€
Stretch huffs unhappily ā€œYeah yeah I know.ā€ he yawns again as he leans against the counter as he ignores what Blue said to ask his own question ā€œDream and Ink out already?ā€
Blue shrugs ā€œYeah. Dream had to go again or Core would locate him againā€¦ and Inkā€¦ Well I am pretty sure Ink left midway through the party.ā€ Blue saw how ink had checked his phone before quickly tugging his phone away and packing his things and leaving.
It stung a little.
Stretch nods as he takes the towel before waiting for Blue to finish the first glass so he can dry ā€œIt was nice to have them over.ā€
Blue laughs and nods ā€œIt was great!ā€ he smiles.
Stretch chuckles before toying with the first glass ā€œsorry it didnā€™tā€¦ work with Ink.ā€
Blue pauses before shrugging ā€œIt is fine. It isnā€™t like it is a surprise.ā€ Blue had already known there was no interest anyway.
Stretch frowns at him ā€œBlueā€¦ I know youā€¦ I know you were excited to have Ink over. You are allowed to feel disappointed.ā€
Blue sighs as he gives the next glass over ā€œIt isnā€™t a big dealā€ he rushes to wash the other glasses.
Stretch frowns at him ā€œI disagreeā€¦ Blue you-ā€
Blue pushes the last glass into his hands ā€œThere! All clean! If you can finish that up I will go to quickly fix our puzzles!ā€
Stretch doesnā€™t make a move to dry the glasses ā€œYou just said Alphys will sleep in anyway and not notice.ā€
Blue nods as he puffs his chest ā€œDoesnā€™t mean I have to skip too! You enjoy your morning! Make sure to drink a lot of water and you know where the medicine is and-ā€ and Blue gets stopped by magic by the front door.
Damnit he is blue now.
Stretch speaks calmly ā€œBlue. I want to talk about this. Now.ā€
Blue sighs but doesnā€™t fight the magic and let it guide him to the couch. Stretch puts the glasse son the drying rack and joins him.
Stretch leans back against the couch ā€œSoā€¦ the mistletoeā€¦ Did Dream tell you he was planning that?ā€
Blue groans and shakes his skull ā€œNoā€¦ I didnā€™t even realise Dream added that with decoratingā€¦ I found out when he pushed us under it and pointed it out.ā€ he rubs his cheek ā€œIf I had known I would have removed it.ā€
Stretch nods as he leans back ā€œWhy? I thought you like Ink?ā€
Blue sighs as he waves his hands ā€œI do! But it is more complicated than it just being a matter of me liking him!ā€
Stretch nods along and waits as he looks at him expectingly.
Blue stares at him before crossing his arms ā€œInk blocked my numberā€¦ I donā€™t know why.ā€
Stretch looks shocked ā€œBut I thought you two were friends?ā€
Blue rolls up more ā€œWe areā€¦ I donā€™t understand whyā€¦ I wasnā€™t even asking anything out of the ordinary or weird. Just asked him how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with Dream and meā€¦ When I didnā€™t get a reply for a few hours I send him another message to ask if he was busy. Only to get an automated message back stating the number I was trying to reach had me blocked.ā€ It was a thing they all agreed on with the multiverse phones. That if you blocked someone they should be able to know. Mostly because if it is an emergency so you donā€™t waste your time with messaging someone who wonā€™t ever see your messages.
Stretch frowns ā€œYetā€¦ he came to the party?ā€
Blue shrugs ā€œJust because Dream askedā€¦ā€ Dream had asked for Blue but Blue wouldnā€™t be surprised if Ink just wanted to come because of Dream. Blue canā€™t really blame him for that either. Dream is a god like Ink. And Blue isā€¦ well very mortal.
Stretch leans back ā€œhuhā€¦ strange.ā€
Blue sighs ā€œNot that strange. Dream can be very convincing when he wants to be.ā€ Which is putting it mildly.
Stretch laughs and nods ā€œI noticedā€¦ No the strange thing is that if Ink really didnā€™t want to be near you he wouldnā€™t have gone to a private Gyftmas party in your universe.ā€ Stretch raises a brow ā€œSure he has a bad memory but he should know that at least.ā€
Blue frowns and shrugs ā€œI guessā€¦ I just think he wanted to be near Dream.ā€ Which he honestly isnā€™t mad about. Disappointed maybe but not mad. It isnā€™t like it is Dreamā€™s fault and Dream is really trying to get Ink and him to hang out. It isnā€™t Dreamā€™s fault if Ink prefers to be near him over Blue.
Stretch hums ā€œI guess.ā€ He shoots him a curious look ā€œWhy do you even like him?ā€
Blue groans as he searches for the words ā€œIt is hard to explain? I donā€™t even know when I started to feel like this. At first I just admired him I guess? He was a protector. Of the multiverse at that. It was justā€¦ He was what I wanted to be. Someone who did good and protect people. And then I learned he didnā€™t just protect others but also made more worlds? He was justā€¦ He was just the coolest person and I admired him and then I got the chance to travel with him and Dream and I justā€¦ those feelings got so much more when I got to know him.ā€
Stretch snorts ā€œHow? He almost destroyed our worldā€¦ Why like him still?ā€
Blue frowns as he rubs his arm ā€œI guessā€¦ I guess it made him look like just any other personā€¦ someone who can make mistakes. He felt more real to me after that. It also helps he helped clean up that mess and made sure our world came back the way it was meant to be.ā€ Blue sighs as he rubs his hands ā€œHim and Dreamā€¦ After you they were the only ones who believed I could do this thing. That I could protect people and everything.ā€ Blue doesnā€™t know when exactly he started to feel what he feels for Ink.
Stretch hums before groaning ā€œIt is justā€¦ You are so out of his league!ā€
Blue blinks and stares at Stretch ā€œWhat do you mean? He is a god! I am me.ā€
Stretch nods ā€œExactly! He needed all those godly powers and stuff to do what he does. You donā€™t. You are amazing all on your own Blue. You always believe the best in people and believe everyone deserves another chance. You are willing to look past mistakes, the situation with Ink even proves that. You are always willing to help others. You donā€™t believe in killing anyone but will protect those who need it. Blue you are an amazing person. And I just canā€™t see how you could like Ink and why you are afraid you arenā€™t good enough for him.ā€
Blue feels so embarrassed. It isnā€™t as if Stretch never compliments him. Hell he always says he is the most amazing every other day. But that felt more likeā€¦ brothers just being supportive. This feels like more. Maybe just because it is about Ink?
Blue mutters ā€œIt doesnā€™t matterā€¦ He hasnā€™t wanted to hang out with me alone for ages nowā€¦ā€ he sighs as he crosses his arms and lays them on his legs to try and relax.
Stretch frowns as he thinks ā€œMaybe heā€¦ remembered what he did and feels guilty?ā€
Blue huffs as he looks to the side ā€œHe would have to choice to feel that. He needs his paints to feelā€¦ Look I knew from the start this crush was hopeless okay?ā€ he hugs his legs closer ā€œAnd it isnā€™t his fault he canā€™t feel like normal monsters canā€¦ or that he lacks a soulā€¦ I donā€™t blame him for any of that. That would be stupid. I know he has no interest in me like thatā€¦ā€ it is why Blue feels so bad about Dream trying to help set them up.
Blue laughs as he rubs his socket as he feels the itch ā€œIf he likes anyone it would be Dream as Dream used to be able to make him feel things at least a littleā€¦ Now however? I donā€™t know.ā€ he lays his cheek on his leg.
Stretch frowns before nudging their shoulders together ā€œWellā€¦ We canā€™t know either way. They are gods. Hell if we know what their reasoning is.ā€ He smiles ā€œMaybe he is just busy or distracted? And he accidentally blocked your number?ā€
Blue shrugs but lets himself lean against his taller younger brother ā€œI guess.ā€
Stretch hums as he leans his skull on top of his ā€œMy point still stands. You are allowed to be disappointed.ā€
Blue shrinks in on himself ā€œIt is just stupid. I knew it was never going to workā€¦ Even if he felt anything for me it wouldnā€™t work as he is a god and I am not.ā€ And he doesnā€™t want to be an outcode. He canā€™t give up his world and brother. He already almost lost both once before and he canā€™t deal with that. ā€œIt is justā€¦ā€ he feels sad ā€œI just thought maybe he wanted to send some time with meā€¦ that we could just enjoy some time together as friends. But I guess even that isnā€™t that important to him anymore. Maybe it never was.ā€
Stretch leans heavily on top of him ā€œYou donā€™t know what he is thinking Blue. Maybe he really is just very busy with god stuff. Donā€™t you always say that you canā€™t assume what other people are thinking?ā€
Blue feels embarrassed but nods ā€œI doā€¦ It is justā€¦ hard sometimesā€¦ā€ It just makes him feel worse for not being able to follow his own advice.
Stretch hums ā€œWhy not tell Dream? That you appreciate his help but know it isnā€™t going anywhere?ā€
Blue sighs and mutters ā€œBecause I did but Dream doesnā€™t believe in anything being impossible.ā€ Stupid gods and their meddling.
Stretch laughs ā€œI can imagine. Why not tell him it bothers bothers you?ā€
Blue shrugs and mutters ā€œI donā€™t want to worry him. He is already dealing with a lot and wellā€¦ It isnā€™t like a stupid hopeless crush is that bad of a situationā€¦ā€
Stretch hums ā€œI guessā€¦ā€ He thinks for a moment before grinning ā€œWanne see if we can meet up with the others? Just the six of us to explore some unsuspecting universe?ā€
Blue blinks and grins at Stretch ā€œSeriously?ā€
Stretch grins and shrugs ā€œPaps and I havenā€™t bothered Edge into relaxing for a while. It will be good for that stick in the mud.ā€ He grins.
Blue blinks before nodding ā€œYes.ā€
Stretch grins as he pulls out his phone and starts texting ā€œYou get dressed. I will start up the machine.ā€ And he blinks out of view.
Blue goes to his room and gets dressed. His hands pausing on which bandana to wear. His hand hovers over the grey one with beautiful blue details. He had gotten that in a present the year before and Blue never figured out who gave it to him. He had hoped thatā€¦ well it doesnā€™t matter now. Blue quickly grabs his normal blue bandana and rushes down to meet up with his brother.
Stretch grins as he holds up his phone ā€œI got confirmation from everyone that everyone is down. Sans is setting up the coordinates for us already and Edge is bringing snacks.ā€
Blue smiles as he wiggles in place. It will be nice to just enjoy some time with his dear friends. Just to take his mind of his hopeless love life.
Hell maybe he, Edge and Paps can go clubbing! That has been a while and will be nice to relax and let go a bit.
The machine starts up and a beautiful green portal opens. Stretch and him step through to enjoy a day out.
*-------------------------*
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
71 notes Ā· View notes
waywardstation Ā· 1 month ago
Note
Choo-choo! We've almost reached the likes goal on the reblog game!
Please be mindful of future likes for this game!
Now then get ready for departure soon! All Aboard!
Tumblr media
For this post
Thank you everyone so, so, so, SOOOO MUCH!!! I set an incredibly difficult goal for this honestly, and yet you all helped it be reached!! I appreciate it so much, thank you!!
Unfortunately however, the next part is not finished yet. I was planning to have it finished and ready weeks ago, but I became severely sick and have been unable to finish it to have it ready for this wonderful moment :( Iā€™m so sorry. And I am still pretty bad off, and Iā€™m unsure how much longer itā€™ll be like this for me.
But!! It was still pretty far along when I had to stop. A lot of it is done. And I have tried to make it up to everyone by making the part extra long. And it is becoming more lighthearted and about comfort now, the next choice to make falls into that ^^
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU EVERYONE!! It means a lot to me to see that people are actually commenting on the comic and celebrating that it has reached its goal. It means a lot to see that people care!! I am so excited to get the next part out to you guys and to continue on this once again!! ^^ <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
46 notes Ā· View notes
wigglys-dikrats Ā· 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i did something insane and made minecraft map art of the four pulp album covers !!!
the images on the left are a birdā€™s eye view, and the right are the actual maps :]
more than 52 hours of work and a total of 65,536 hand placed blocks all the while listening to pulp :D (a total of seven times heehoo)
shoutout to the folks at brp for keeping me motivated and sane while working on this the past week love yā€™all
(please do not copy the work or repost these images ty <3)
@pulpmusicals
87 notes Ā· View notes
idk-bruh-20 Ā· 2 years ago
Text
Irondad fic ideas #134
Fic where everything in the current MCU has happened
...for Peter.
In fact, Mysterio captured Peter right after Endgame. Everything that happened since -- Europe, his identity, May -- has been an illusion.
Mysterio even altered Peter's memory of the battle against Thanos to torture him. He doesn't remember the rush to get Tony to a hospital. He doesn't remember being kidnapped. He believes Tony died on the battlefield
Which is why, when he's suddenly in a cell and Iron Man bursts in, frantic and alive, Peter has a hard time telling what's real.
511 notes Ā· View notes
faunandfloraas Ā· 24 days ago
Note
im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "ā“tismā“" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like šŸ¤Ø can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
30 notes Ā· View notes
your-unfriendlyghost Ā· 6 days ago
Note
it feels soā€¦ā€¦ weirdā€¦ seeing a cishet dude be so chill with queer themes lmao your soda-in-drag moment, the stevepop of it all, even guys with queers in their friend circles canā€™t bring themselves to partake sometimes lmao šŸ˜­ but itā€™s cool !! refreshing even sjksksndks this is a /pos statement I promise
Thanks lol! I think itā€™s cos Iā€™m fairly secure. Sorta. (Iā€™m still prone to compensating for things and being a stupid teen boy, but like, Iā€™m aware of it, at least when I stop to think. Yk Iā€™ll still join in on dick measuring contests, but deep down Iā€™ll know itā€™s dumb and performative.)
I guess I feel a kinship to queerness. I go to art school where Iā€™m sometimes the only guy in a class of girls, and Iā€™ve been the token straight guy in every friend group Iā€™ve been in since freshman year of high school. Beyond that, growing up I was frequently mistook for a girl- I had long-ish hair (post bowl-cut era šŸ˜­) and Iā€™m part Asian, I was pretty androgynous lol. People irl have thought Iā€™m gay, or a trans man on testosterone (I mean fine, I guess I am pretty short and hang with a lot of trans guys.) Hell, I did drag on a dare once, back when I was even more secure. (And I was hot asf in drag lemme tell ya. It felt lousy and itā€™s definitely not my thing, but man if I had a clone who was a girl-) All this to say, I say Iā€™m straight, but honestly I donā€™t really know. I like girls a lot, but I have seen a buddy of mine in drag, and lemme tell ya I felt something but Iā€™m not gonna examine that rn lol. Straight just feels comfortable, safe, and itā€™s good for interacting with folks who ainā€™t so progressive, so itā€™s what Iā€™m sticking withā€¦but Iā€™ll admit thereā€™s a gray area.
I relate a lot to the guys in the Outsiders, and irl I like to present myself as a tough, cool, Very Masculine guy. Hell, sometimes I play dumb about stuff because itā€™s ā€œfeminineā€ and a guy like me shouldnā€™t know about it. I act a lot like how I write Steve Randle, heā€™s my guy I like to project on lol. Honestly, Iā€™ve got a fair amount of internalized toxic masculinity. But I think because I know how silly it all is deep down, I can interact with queer themes in art without feeling like Iā€™m not ā€œman enoughā€. Idk, I suppose itā€™s an outlet in some ways. Who knows maybe in 2027 Iā€™ll come out as bi or something, but donā€™t wait up.
idk, I guess what Iā€™m trying to say is that I like exploring queer themes, not because theyā€™re queer necessarily, but because theyā€™re human and I relate to them. And thatā€™s hard not to partake in, yā€™know?
#rambling#ask#personal stuff#idk if all thatā€™s likeā€¦ok for me to say and all but likeā€¦itā€™s just how I see the world at this point yk?#idk if youā€™ve seen derry girls but the character james maguire is me fr lol#(well i think Iā€™m tougher than him but yk. heā€™s a guy whoā€™s only friends are girls/queer people)#I worry sometimes about representing things poorlyā€¦#but like ig itā€™s not about representation to me. Itā€™s not about anything. Itā€™s justā€¦expression i reckon#lord I dunno if Iā€™m explaining this very well#For the record I find it interesting that Iā€™m so chill too. Thereā€™s definitely a part of my brain thatā€™s confused about that#like- I canā€™t wear a pink shirt cos thatā€™s girly but I CAN try on heels because Iā€™m bored???#I wonā€™t pierce my ears even tho I wanna cos thatā€™s ā€œfeminineā€ but Iā€™ll write a 40k word fanfic about stevepop?? whereā€™s the consistency??#I have to be the strongest in the room or I get pissyā€¦but I want a girl to hold me?? that doesnā€™t make sense!#why am I a walking contradiction??#For all Iā€™ve tried to explain it here at the end of the day idk why I am the way I am#I justā€¦am. I wish it made sense but it doesnā€™t and I guess I gotta live with that lol.#talking about myself#srry ik this is long#ig itā€™s something Iā€™ve avoided thinking abt much but now that you bring it up Iā€™mā€¦thinking. A lot.#(thatā€™s a /pos thing I like thinking) (usually)
27 notes Ā· View notes
abirddogmoment Ā· 3 months ago
Note
I love seeing Rory run in the field!! Bird dog doing bird dog things!! You said in the tags you had different training and priorities with her vs Mav re: offleash running like that. What kinds of things did you do differently with Rory to be comfortable having her offleash at a distance with reliable recall?
I was writing a whole novel but really it boils down to this chart. Under the cut because it's (vertically) long.
In short, it's just as much about what I didn't do with Maverick as what I did do with Aurora.
(Edited to add: I am extremely fortunate to live in the prairies where the kind of visibility I need is easy to find. Use my experience to inspire your own training if you like, but don't use it as a recipe. I have my own goals and my own priorities and those are likely different than yours.)
Maverick:
šŸ”µ Supremely confident from day 1
šŸ”µ Came home in August (extremely good and exciting time for outdoor adventures)
šŸ”µ Prioritized specific sports behaviours over foundational building blocks like engagement and cooperation
šŸ”µ Learned bad habits from my older dog at the time (prey drive > recall)
šŸ”µ Was indiscriminately prey driven. If it moved, he wanted to kill it.
šŸ”µ I phased out treats too fast and didn't want to use an ecollar or long line
šŸ”µ I focused on "social media dog behaviours" (think like walking extremely close to me on trails) and got frustrated when we couldn't meet these rather than meeting my dog where he was at. This created a lot of frustration in our dog adventures.
šŸ”µ I practiced recalls constantly when I didn't have to, making them a tedious behaviour for him. I would recall him 20-50 times a hike for everything from "you're too far away from me" to "I want to take a photo".
Aurora
šŸŸ£ Came to me a little insecure and looked to me for reassurance
šŸŸ£ Came home in December (a cold and relatively boring time for outdoor adventures)
ļæ½ļæ½ I prioritized engagement, cooperation, and name recognition from day 1
šŸŸ£ Practiced good habits by walking offleash in the snow either alone or with Pike (amazing recall)
šŸŸ£ Is extremely birdy, but is very very focused. She easily calls off deer or people/dogs in the distance because she mostly cares about birds.
šŸŸ£ Literally always gets offered a high value snack for recalling or voluntary check ins (I will never phase this out, I will carry chunks of cheese on offleash walks for the rest of her life)
šŸŸ£ I never practice recalls if I don't need them. This one is hard to explain, but once Rory understood that long whistle = come back as fast as you can, I don't whistle unless I really need to. I recall her an average of 0-3 times per hike (*based on visibility or wildlife*) and trust her to make good decisions otherwise. I keep my eyeballs on her 100% of the time and choose areas with good visibility, but I don't recall her just for being far away.
šŸŸ£ I limit hikes where I have to nag her often (think, in the woods where I dont have a great line of sight and have to remind her to stay close to me) to a few times a month or less so she doesn't start getting frustrated about it.
šŸŸ£ I trust the training I put into her and choose to run her in areas with (relatively) reduced risk if she makes the "wrong" choice. I don't nitpick everything she does and I let her make her own choices, within reason.
šŸŸ£ I have an interrupter cue to ask her to stop doing something before I call her back (if she's digging a hole and I want her to move on, I use "Rory, enough! Here!") instead of whistling at her.
šŸŸ£ I don't force her attention on check ins. If she runs back to me and doesn't want a snack and wants to run straight back out, I let her run back out.
šŸŸ£ I have anticipatory cues for the end of a walk so I don't have to recall her when we get to the end of the field.
I want to say that it's nerve wracking to watch my dog sprint at full speed hundreds of yards away from me. I have to fight the impulse to recall her just because she's far away. It's an exercise in trust because I'm always worried about her going over the horizon, or running into a wildlife, or falling into a hole, but it's an important thing to work on if you have a dog that needs that trust to thrive.
Mav and I were a good team, but I never fully trusted him outdoors. I always had my finger on the ecollar buttons ready for him to do an evil and need to be vibrated. It was exhilarating to watch him in the field, but it wasn't really fun or relaxing.
Rory and I built a much stronger foundation of trust (I personally never would have been able to do this if I had more than one dog). She doesn't know any tricks yet, but I'm super confident in her recall and ability to take direction in the field, even when she's sprinting as fast as possible.
31 notes Ā· View notes
moeblob Ā· 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Right and his work menaces (Brent and Karen).
I don't remember last I mentioned it but apart from crude nicknames to people (except Chris), he also just puts them in his phone really weird (except Chris, who is literally in his phone as Chris). And I bring this up because in Right's phone, Karen is saved as "Lawful Obligation".
#my characters#oops i fell in love#can you guys tell im stressed and hyperfixating on my own fucked up ocs cause i am#also brents nickname at work and in rights phone is fuckwad#and hes like yeah if im called anything else at this point by right its weird and uncomfortable#and when it is finally approached as if paul is only in rights phone as shitty-ex (answer) now that hes an excoworker#what was he in rights phone BEFORE the transfer#and right is like annoying dickwad ... karen is like oh i see thats why you call him a dick still#thats like a nickname from his phone name#and brent has to ask why fuckwad and dickwad and right looks at him and takes a deep breathe before saying#because i like the word wad and it is very comforting bc like a wad of paper ? you can throw it away#and so if i realize i gotta get rid of attachment i wad it up#also dont tell paul that dickwad was a form of attachment or he will never shut the fuck up about it#karen and brent both swear to never mention it to paul#paul is honestly such a weird anomaly in the plot bc he doesnt directly work at the same police station#but he is CONSTANTLY a topic of gossip or annoyance or updates#hes literally karens best friend! aside from chris he was one of the few right worked with who HAD touch privileges before right banned it#hes also just genuinely well liked but no one can actually tell him or he will become insufferable#which is a crime that rick is guilty of once when he meets paul and karen introduces him#and rick is just OH i know that name! youre her best friend#and she looks so betrayed and paul looks so delighted and stunned and radiant over this fact#and rick makes up for it before the night is over which is why karen forgives him - he made paul back in his place#anyway yeah right has lots of fears and hes my bundle of anxiety and i love him and his atrocious nicknames#i think i would die if i gave someone a rude nickname even affectionately irl#also also final note on this ig#since right is a detective and not always at the station its worth pointing out brent and karen just work taking calls and#doing misc other work at their desks which are nearby so they 100% bond and its wonderful#ok i lied final note on them is#for a very long time karen has to check with right to make sure she isnt annoying brent because he doesnt emote well#and shes scared she wont know if shes annoying him please help youre like the only one who reads his moods accurately
34 notes Ā· View notes