#who is she looking at like that? 👀
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Save me cunty gay Cuddy
Cunty gay Cuddy save me
(half of an upcoming piece)
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"I'll be honest with you, I really didn't realise CDs were poppin still...I haven't used a CD in about, it has to be ten years!" - Ashton Irwin, June 8th 2024
#anyway she kinda went off oops#when he didn't release a cd so i decided to make my own lyric book and jewel case insert#if anyone wants it with the bleeds included i mean what hmm 👀#literally i've never posted a fan art i'm always so scared when i do pls be nice i guess aaaaaaa#5sos#ashton irwin#blood on the drums#5 seconds of summer#i'm actually so pleased with these as someone who had to google how to rotate text when i started thiskdjhfsd#graphic design actually my passion but i never have ever done anything this big#i'm so especially pleased with the insert for under the cd like the final picture is actually like#i squashed the insert and the back page into the same size pic for posting sake but like#u can see the lil roses part through the case and it looks so dope it looks so good y'all and i haven't even like#printed it on good paper yet i'm literally :')#i would rather an official any day but actually this was really fun
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CUSTOM GUITAR STRAPS. I REPEAT; CUSTOM GUITAR STRAPS!
Credits: 📸 Clinton Hatfield
#and don't get me STARTED on how IV looks#I fear I may have a little crush perhaps#but dude they both look so good#yet again repeating I want to have a little munch on them#(both The Lads and the guitar straps)#if anybody knows who made them so I can add extra credits please let me know!!#I don't know if that's info that's out yet but hey my acoustic looks like she needs a new strap anyways 👀#sleep token#st#iv#iv sleep token#iii#iii sleep token
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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It's interesting how the themes of love and duty are presented in the histories of two characters who couldn't be more different from one another: the last hero and the Night's King. When presented with the choice of doing your duty or loving, the answer seems obvious—do our duty to the end, for it seems like the right thing to do. Maybe you'll even be rewarded for it. But then the last hero and the Night's King present a grey area. The Night's King followed his desire and the result was a tarnished reputation and his name being blotted out of history for all eternity. He was punished for it. So you'd think that the last hero, having done the opposite and followed his duty to the end, would fare better. But his name has been blotted out of history as well! He picked the "right" thing, but his reward is uncertain; almost nonexistent. No matter what you do, you lose—well, you lose if your name means something to you. The resulting dichotomy then is fascinating—the Night's King actually feels human where the last hero does not. He loved and he lost, but as old Maester Aemon said, the gods fashioned man to love, and love is sometimes the bane of honor (Ned Stark could tell you as much). Old Nan can speculate on who the Night's King was, but she doesn't even bother to try and name the last hero. Almost like he did his duty and was forgotten as was expected; as he should have been. And that's a sad state of affairs. Dehumanization vs a tarnished reputation.....I don't really know if the choice is all that clear tbh :/
#also it's funny how these two present opposite extremes—the last hero so extreme in his sacrifice and the nk so extreme in his oathbreaking#like he didn't break his vows for some rando he met in Mole Town he had to do it for the very thing he was meant to war against#and history remembers him as a tyrant—but that's all we have on the guy because his story was written by the victors rip#oops you know who else fell in love with the enemy—kissed by fire?? 👀#and now he has found a new enemy to love and she even looks like the corpse queen oh rip jon snow's already terrible reputation#it was fun knowing ya 🥺#y'all im about this 🤏close to starting up a “THE NIGHT'S KING DID NOTHING WRONG!!!” propaganda campaign#because who's gonna check me? nobody—that's who#justice for that man fr#valyrianscrolls#asoiaf#the last hero#the night's king#the night's watch
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If you're still taking requests, could I ask for Futa finding our that Yuno was lying about getting beaten up in her first interrogation?
You sure can 👀👀👀👀 Omg, I'm a fake 02-03 fan, how have I never thought about that moment before? I assumed he'd know eventually, but for someone who's so honest (and likely already has issues with a disloyal friend group) an actual confession would be so painful... Thank you so much for the request, it reminded me how much I loved writing these two ;--;
“I can’t believe it!” Fuuta laid across Yuno’s bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t fucking believe it!”
“Ooh~ is this about Shidou-san?” Yuno stepped out of a pair of shoes, grabbing another. She walked back and forth with accessories she’d requested or borrowed from the others. After scrutinizing them in the mirror, she’d try on something else.
“Of course it is! Why aren’t you freaking out about this?”
It was a rhetorical question, she knew. This was one of those times Fuuta wasn’t really listening to anything except the rant in his own head. It could be annoying, but between him and Mahiru, Yuno actually enjoyed the chance to sit back and let someone else take over the conversation.
“He comes out of his interrogation, casually laughing about the warden being young and kicking him, then expects us to be okay with it? That makes four out of five interrogations someone got hurt! It’s a good thing I showed them they can’t fuck with someone like me, eh? But a pushover like Shidou gets abused and laughs! Argh!”
Fuuta sat up suddenly, trying to find somewhere to put his anger. He caught Yuno’s eye through the mirror. “There’s no way this is legal, locking us up with some violence-crazed warden! You know what I just keep thinking about, every day?”
Yuno gave a small “hm?” knowing he’d tell her anyway. She turned her eyes away, pretending to fix the ribbon in her hair. It was becoming less and less enjoyable to sit back and let him talk, this time. She was starting to see where this conversation would end. She knew what she needed to do.
“I just keep thinking, what are we going to do about Mahiru?”
“What do you mean?”
She was met with a dumbfounded look.
“We can’t just let her go in there by herself! Haruka and Shidou have some size and strength on Es, so like a coward they only showed a bit of force. But they know you and Muu were much smaller and weaker, so they really took it out on you both. I mean, I could hear Muu crying during her interrogation, and she came out still sniffling. Whatever the hell happened, it can’t be good. Just think of what’ll happen to Mahiru if we leave her alone in there! I’ve started thinking about what we can do.”
She laughed, picking up a headband. “Fuuta, you can’t do anything. It’s not like you’d be able to break in during the interrogation. I’m sure Mahiru-san will be just fine.”
“You can’t be sure, in a place like this. I’ve been thinking about this! I was even talking to Kotoko, and we think it’s possible to sneak in beforehand.”
“And if you get caught? What if you get Mahiru-san in more trouble?”
It was all she could think to say. She knew the truth had to come out eventually, but if there was a chance she could calm Fuuta down and avoid a fight altogether, she’d take it. Yuno wasn’t afraid of him. However, just because he was all bark and no bite didn’t make his bite any easier to handle. If she was putting the pieces together correctly, it still did end up killing someone…
Instead of slowing down, his face lit up with even more intensity. He leapt to his feet, appearing behind Yuno in the mirror. “See, that’s where my backup plan comes in! We’ll get the others involved. An interrogation will be the perfect time to stage a riot because –”
“Oh, Fuuta.”
“– I mean it! How are they and that stupid rabbit going to stop all of us, huh? It’s high time we stood up to this injustice! Give that brat a taste of their own medicine –”
“Just, listen for a second.”
“– We won’t use any violence or anything! Unlike them, we’re above that. Just give them a good scare, and demand that they –”
“Fuuta.”
“What?” He sounded exasperated, but paused to let her speak. She hadn’t raised her voice; he was learning to tell when she was serious.
“There’s... something I need to tell you.” Her tone made it clear that this would be a pretty weighty confession. Annoyance flashed across his face, like is now really the time for this?
Yuno turned to face him. She reached for his hands, knowing the wonders a bit of physical contact can do. Fuuta just rolled his eyes as he tore his hands away. She was constantly reminded that her usual tricks didn’t work on him. She also reminded herself, however, that it was a relief. She didn’t feel like holding hands now.
“I… I wasn’t honest about my interrogation. Es didn’t touch me. They were actually really calm, and we had a good conversation. They didn’t want the others to hear that and just walk all over them, so I promised to tell the story they came up with. I heard Muu talking, and she didn’t face any violence either. She was just scared.”
“You – she – what?” Fuuta sputtered on his words. His face turned a few shades redder than it already had been in his excitement.
“The lie wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, or drag out this long. Definitely not to the point of inspiring a prison riot, oh god. I felt bad that you even went after Es because of it–”
“Yeah!” His voice rose. “I stood up to them for you! I coulda gotten punished for that!”
“No, Es knew why you did it, so I’m sure they never would have –”
“You can’t be sure!” He turned to pace the cell, emotion leaking out in sudden pitches in his voice, or a hand jerking up in wild gestures. “So when were you planning on telling me? Or were you just going to lie to my face for another few months?” She could see the gears turning in his head – all the arguments and comebacks and insults he was formulating. “And what else have you been lying to me about?”
That’s when she noticed that the look in his eyes wasn’t one of rage. Nor was the blood in his cheeks. Though he was indeed angry, he was also dealing with the embarrassing truth of being lied to for months.
“I haven’t lied about anything else,” she assured him. She bowed her head. “And I won’t. I’m so sorry. It was supposed to be something quick that everyone forgot about. Once they had their interrogation and had their own impression of the warden, no one would think about it.”
“You expect me to believe a shitty excuse like that? Why would we all just forget?”
“Fuuta…” She smiled sadly. “Everyone did forget. You’re the only one who still talks about it. You’re the only one who’s done anything in response. I felt so guilty you’d put yourself out like that, for me, someone you barely met.”
Yuno paused. She hadn’t meant to use any flattery to steer the conversation. She was supposed to just tell him the truth and leave it at that.
But this wasn’t flattery. She was still speaking the truth. “Everyone else did exactly what I expected, except you. You stood up for me. I don’t take that lightly, okay? I’m grateful.”
Fuuta’s eyes burned with more fury. He jabbed a pointing finger at her.
“You’re right!”
“...eh?”
“Those bastards didn’t do a single thing! They heard a young girl got abused and they just let it happen? They tried laughing it off? How dare they!” He whirled around. “Oh, I’m gonna give them a –”
Yuno grabbed the back of his uniform “You aren’t going to do anything. If you get everyone riled up now, it’ll be for nothing, remember? But you can’t tell. I still promised Es I’d keep their secret through the first trial.”
“Tch, you don’t owe them shit.”
“If you tell, you’ll get me in trouble. Please.” She let go of him. “Can I trust you with this?”
He kept his back to her. “You didn’t before.”
“You’re right.” She wasn’t the type to waffle around with excuses.
She started putting away her things. It was almost mealtime, and she didn’t have the heart to continue, anyway. Through the mirror, she watched Fuuta hang around the doorway. His expression shifted through emotions that Yuno couldn’t quite put her finger on. All his fire was fizzling out.
“Just… you swear it won’t happen again?”
“I swear.”
Fuuta nodded. Then, a grin. “And you swear I can tell them off after this trial ends?”
She returned the smirk. “One promise at a time, ’kay?”
#milgram#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#it felt too ooc for either of them to say it at the end there - but the reason fuuta calms down is he realizes that yuno said#something harsh about a child and the situation blew up out of her control and a third party (fuuta) attacked the child because of her word#so even though hes definitely still mad - all of the sudden he doesnt feel like judging her so harshly 👍#as always i tried to highlight yunos skill with reading people#her anticipating how the average man - the prisoners - and fuuta specifically will react to her words/actions#and she can tell how mad he'll be so she selfishly holds onto the lie as long as she can manage#i love the idea that fuuta is one of the only friends she has had who is completely unaffected by her usual charms#its half relieving that she doesnt need to put up an act for him but half annoying because he becomes a bit of a loose canon 😂#but knowing yuno i think shed find the challenge more fun than frustrating <3#thank you again pal -- this was so fun to think about and write 👀#drabbles#(oh i still need to change the tag -- i think one shot is the word i was looking for!)
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My not so close to cannon hc is that, after getting into college, Clarrise gets a car somewhere.
Some people assume she got it from her mom, or that Chris stole it for her, but the truth is she actually got it from Ares. Which means you can pretty much imagine what kind of car that is. It’s also unconfirmed but some of her brothers insist the car is magical in some way. Leo tried many time to convince her to let him see what the cars system is like on the inside, but was turned down in a not very nice way.
Very quickly she becomes the ‘carpool friend’ and also the one Chiron tasked with picking up demigods who go to school in NY at the end of semester and get them to CBH, there’s very few of them so she doesn’t mind, +some of them are mortified at the thought of getting in Clarrises car because of how fast she drives. The fist time Percy and Annabeth asked her for a ride, Percy said he was glad Ares didn’t offer to drive them to Vegas that one time, and Annabeth asked if the car really is magical, because she was convinced they should’ve crashed like ten times.
The only two people who will get in the car willingly and without any reason are Chris and Drew. Clarrise picks Drew up from school on regular basis whenever she comes to NY, and they just drive around. One time Sadie saw Clarrise picking Drew up and was convinced Drew was being kidnapped, the only reason she didn’t call the police was because she was stopped by Annabeth who introduced her to Clarrise.
#no one knows how she got her license….#ideas on what car she’s got??👀#yes Drew and Clarrise are friends in my head#I just feel like Clarrise really needs a sister and Drew needs someone who will take her seriously and also be on the same level of crazy#as her. And they have better chances of processing their grief over Silena together#also Clarrise looks either super cool or very weird to people who have never been to camp#she wears a bronze chest plate over her shirt on a regular basis + the pants she has in the show + combat boots#clarrise pjo#clarrise la rue#pjo clarrise#pjo clarisse#clarisse pjo#clarisse la rue#clarisse my beloved#chris pjo#drew tanaka#drew pjo#pjo disney+#clarisse x chris#chris rodriguez#percy jackson show#ares percy jackson#pjo annabeth#annabeth chase#sadie kane#pjo hoo toa#pjo headcanon#pjo hcs#riordanverse#percy jackson
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They walked so they could run
#kataang#all grown up#there was supposed to be a third couple that had this vibe in the middle but for the life of me I cannot fuckingb recall it😭#but yeah I felt they just had the same vibes Tom is definetly very aang coded and Zendaya is so very Katara#also they had that height difference that alot of people where worries about#Also I wonder why Katara looks like a teenager and infant she's with aang right? look her eyes aren't even huge!#oop who said that👀#could it be because some people where talking out of their ass🤔#not me coming into the fandom with beef but ive been spending alot of time reading avatr confessions#and have gone through all 5 stages of grief so here we are#avatar the last airbender#aang#avatar aang#katara#pro aang#katara x aang#pro kataang#atla aang#anti anti kataang#katara atla#atla katara#atla#atla meme#tom holland#zendaya#tomdaya#dank memes#funny#lol
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the new Biana looks like Emma Myers to me. I'm not sure if this photo is the best to show it but as soon as I saw the Biana portrait I was like :o it's Emma Myers!
#keeper of the lost cities#looks like Shannon knows who she wants cast in the movie👀 jkjk#song spouts bullshit#about the overpowered elf#kotlc#biana vacker
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JULIET THORNE 🌹
Rook | Dwarf | Warrior | Grey Wardens
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#datv#dragon age rook#dragon age screenshots#rook thorne#dwarf rook#bioware#my oc#my post#Juliet Thorne#highkey she looks like me. it wasn't intentional!!#i have a faceclaim for her#but when during the cutscenes i was like “wait... did i made myself???”#even my mom sees it 😂😂😂#but anyway look at this absolute ball of sunshine who is gonna rock lucanis' world 👀#playing as a warden is sooo fun too!!
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Sydney is better than me cause I would’ve called her out if she was making the face she was making at me in a second
#idk WHO she thinks she looking at like that but it isn’t me👀#apologies for the shitty screenshot#the bear#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#carmy x sydney#sydcarmy
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Every time I see advertisements for the third season of Bridgerton I'm forever thankful I gave up that liberal covid escapism show after season 2 when I realized that we were actually supposed to be rooting for the main character who exposed a black pregnant teenager and a feminist activist, and that there would be no lasting consequence for that because this show is really all about preserving social order and maintaining the nuclear family. why look at class segregation when you can look at these shirtless colonizers.
#bridgerton#marina thompson#eloise bridgerton#r.i.p. marina you were my favourite 😭#it's kind of shocking how i used to talk to my family about this show and they're like oh yeah i really like penelope#i didn't like marina and eloise penelope was right to do what she did 👀👀👀#like the social order and nuclear family ideals are really that embedded into us and then we wonder why the tradwife trend is#suddenly gaining popularity#also eloise the lesbian coded character looks doomed to marry that guy who wants someone to take care of his kids so he can plant all day#the show's messaging paints any attempts other than being a virgin and marrying the socially acceptable way as a futile endeavor#colourblindness and centrism- the show at its' core#man i must have been really starved for content during quarantine because like what was i thinking how did i like this trash??? 😭
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seems like she’s just a mob character… she’s still really cute though~~~
#moge’s fanbox about zakenna was very eye-opening i’d say#it seems like the orange dress girl was just there to be a third wheel to mitsumona (slash jay but we all know the truth)#and he l p it seems like the hw team notices our ‘ehhhhh there’s only 1-3 images in this mv????’ comments im g o n e#moge’s comment along the lines of ‘mvs with tons of pictures [seemingly referring to story mvs] are *not* normal guys’ was so real though#wise words from lord moge i will never speak ill of 1 image mvs ever again#the way she talked about how it’s like to outsource mv artists though… man#bc yes moge was in charge of the storyboard for zakenna even though the art was outsourced to another artist…#…which y’know. makes me wonder who came up with idea for the lxl abs mv. but i digress#b u t it seems like she has a new mv in the works which. y’know. 👀👀👀👀👀👀 more mona pls—#let’s look forward to mona’s crossfade this week (prolly wednesday the 14th if they follow past crossfade schedules)#a n d let’s eagerly await this week’s mv!!!! no matter if it’s a 1-3 image mv or a full story mv!!!!!#which mv would it be though~~~~? idol de yokatta? surprise narumi sisters duet mv (possible tbh)? surprise nagisa kimikawaii (v. unlikely)?#ok yup that’s enough tumblr for the time being i think. back to ✨v o l t o r b f l i p✨
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@katkastrofa, circa 40-ish hours ago: Hey, what if our newest bunch of OCs adopted a baby from one of the other brothel girls who knew she couldn’t afford to raise one? That would make for some fun shenanigans :D
Me, with a notoriously non existent sleep schedule, instinct of self preservation or concern for my poor wrist: Alright, bet. Watch how fast I can make you fall in love with this hypothetical baby >:)
Daneli as a gentle and loving caretaker-turned-adoptive-mother is something that can be So Personal, actually, and originally I was going to leave it at this quick sketch, but then I got carried away thinking about what this child will grow up to be like raised by this little gang of misfits, so…
Here she is!! A little older and so, so beautiful, I need more of her in my life immediately, she’s way too precious
And, because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t also add a sapphic element to this absolute cinnamon roll, a small crack ship that I’m only half serious about for when she’s a little older still:
All in all, we may be getting impossibly far from canon, but I for one already cannot get enough of sweet darling Kumisai <3
(I fully drew three pieces from scratch in 9 hours I cannot feel my brain or my hands anymore send help)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#jinora#wow. nia drew a canon character? what is this?? who was I replaced by???#but joking aside. a small explanation for this crack ship#originally it was me editing my timeline and realising that Kumisai would be around 14/15 during book 4. the same age as Jinora#so my mind immediately went 👀👀👀 and I decided to go for it#since in sotrl I sorta implied Jinora had a gay awakening by watching Suiren. so.. why not go all out and make her another baby queer?#no offence to Kai. what they had was rather cute tbh. but it felt kinda out of nowhere and just added for the sake of parental drama#plus she was a young girl meeting someone her age for the first time. of course she got a crush#doesn’t mean she has to stick with it you know?#anyway. as for how they would meet. Midori could introduce them :D#Kumisai is Daneli’s daughter. who’s a friend of Summiya’s. who’s Zaheer’s sister. who’s Midori’s uncle. who’s friends with Jinora#and spirits know Jinora deserves to act her age a little more often. she has way too many responsibilities on her shoulders#so maybe Midori would think that a friend her age would do her some good#and don’t even try to tell me these two wouldn’t be absolutely adorable puppy crushing on each other. look how cute Jinora turned out here#might be the first time I’ve drawn her? not sure. maybe I did before but it was A LONG time ago. 2019 ish#but okay. enough rambling about Jinora. back to Kumisai#I don’t really have too many headcanons about her yet. but she’s probably rather happy and carefree#having a large support system as a result of being raised communally#I think she considers Daneli her mom and the others are her aunties. auntie Shezan in particular is a notoriously bad influence :)#and maybe one day she’d get to meet her bio mom. but only if that’s something both of them want. not sure yet#I feel like she’s rather disconnected from her water tribe heritage since everyone around her is Earth Kingdom. save Phailin who’s half FN#but she still has small hints of blue in her clothing. the colour matching her beautiful eyes. maybe she is curious about her bio dad a bit#since unlike with her bio mom no one knew him and can’t tell her anything. that’s bound to come as a natural curiosity at some point right?#maybe that can be part of her story when she’s an adult. trying to find her bio dad. but ultimately it doesn’t matter that much#because Daneli is her mom and the only parent she needs <3 I’m really just throwing out suggestions here to fill the tag space#kaaatttt come discuss all this stuff with me I waited all night for you to wake up >:) distract me from my grandma’s tv watching
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hii hiii is it alright if I request something with kotoko and haruka?(platonic ofc) their character foils drive me insane with all the weak stuff authngghn icant be normal about them
Oooh thank you so much for the request! I realized that these two actually have one of the smallest windows to talk easily, given Haruka's nervousness and Kotoko's T2 changes. They have such interesting approaches to strength/weakness, and I hope I could capture it a bit here! This takes place immediately following Kotoko's bday timeline after Harrow's release:
“I’ll accept those birthday wishes…” Kotoko gave him a wave over her shoulder as she returned to making her bed.
She shook her head in awe. It was rather impressive how quickly the boy had changed after his verdict. The others had more subtle differences, but he was someone entirely new. She could rest easy, at least, knowing that her verdict wouldn’t change her much. For as long as she could remember, she’d been like this. She knew where she stood, and neither guilty nor innocent verdict would affect that. This verdict was really only an indicator on whether the warden could be trusted or not.
Her body tensed up when she turned back around, startled by Haruka lingering silently in the doorway. She decided against chastising him for scaring her half to death. Still, she couldn’t keep the bite from her voice as she asked, “did you need something else?”
“Ah… I just…” He twisted his hands together. “I had a question.”
He fell silent, but Kotoko could tell he was chewing on his next words. She waited.
“H-how do you do it? All the time? You’re older and stronger and braver and I-I just don’t know how.”
“Give yourself some credit. I’m not that much older, or stronger. I only have, what -- two, three years on you? And you did very well in the arm wrestling tournament the other day.”
She wasn’t being patronizing. For someone so sheltered, Haruka could do some damage. He stood a few inches taller than her. The others had taken the arm wrestling as a little game, but Kotoko had used the event to measure up her fellow prisoners. After his close match with Mikoto, she had made a mental note to take him seriously.
“No…” his expression twitched, getting frustrated with the misunderstanding. “Not muscles. I mean… you don’t have someone like Muu. You don’t need someone next to you all the time. But you still talk with everyone… and it looks easy. All the time. You always know what to say, and what to do. You never look scared. You never cry.”
Kotoko’s smile softened. She wasn’t the prideful type, but his words gave her a wave of accomplishment. She certainly was scared. She did cry. But she wasn’t about to show a single crack in her resolve in front of anyone here. Haruka had given her the greatest of compliments by confirming her success.
“Ah, you mean strength of spirit. Well, that doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. It comes with my purpose, with my virtues.”
“Virtues…?”
“I see the injustice around me, and want to protect the innocent. When I see how awful the world can be, when I see the monsters that are hurting those who are weak, I can’t help myself.” She clenched her fist. “The power to do so just comes to me.”
“Oh…” Haruka looked down at his palms.
Her heart sank, realizing he didn’t quite understand. It was a shame that not all of humanity could be as righteous as her. That heroic drive had always come so naturally to her; she wasn’t sure she could put it into words to explain to others.
Haruka’s open hands were trembling. “Um. Is there any other way?”
“Hm?”
“All my life… I only cause pain to everyone.” His worry gradually turned to desperation.” I hurt everyone who gets close to me. Especially things that are small and weak. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a… a curse. So… is there another way? Please. I want to be better. I want to be strong! I want to be like you! Tell me!”
He stepped forward, pleading. Kotoko stepped back.
His blue eyes widened at her sudden shift into defense. “Ah! I. I’m sorry. I’m-I’m sorry. It’s your birthday. You should be… Have a g-good day.”
“Wait.” Kotoko stopped him before he could flee. She was aware of the massive gap between them, the vastly different backgrounds they came from. Still, she offered the same advice that had helped her in her toughest of days.
“Don’t worry so much about others’ strength. The quickest way to burn yourself out is getting overwhelmed with the power that’s all around you. Once you start putting all your focus toward honing your own skills and strengths, you’ll realize how much you’re truly capable of. You don’t need anyone else. You’ll realize that you are enough.”
“I… am enough…?”
She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder.
“So, no need to get all worked up now, okay?”
“O-okay. I’ll do my best.” He stiffened, trying to appear worthy of her words.
She let out a bitter laugh. “I told the others not to do anything for my birthday, but I don’t think they paid me any mind.” Kotoko still couldn’t fathom how they were so friendly with each other given the situation. “Let’s go see if there’s some cake or something.”
#milgram#kotoko yuzuhira#haruka sakurai#thank you so much! this one was super interesting to write 👀#the thing is even though they dont have any direct problem between them they would still have a hard time communicating#but once they DO communicate there would so much they could learn from/help each other with!!!#this is leaning into my theory that kotokos murder (like harukas) was a rightful emotion that spiraled out of control#it really puts it into perspective how young kotoko is when you remember shes not too much older than haruka#and theyre both susceptible to strong emotions that stem from feeling weak int he face of the big scary world#but kotokos sees her as some blessing of power to serve her heroic thoughts and haruka sees his as a curse#ty to my pals who helped me find the exact spot in the timeline i was looking for 🙏#although kotoko doesnt believe she can change that easily she 100% undergoes the exact type of dramatic change as the others#once again referencing the arm wrestling info from yamanaka#between that and the fact that strangulation actually takes a fair amount of power#i just think its very good to remember that haruka is so physically strong#also something something kids looking up and wanting to be like kotoko and her complex emotions on that....#these two are sooooo interesting AH#drabbles
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I took the high road last year during the literal worst time of my life when I honestly had every right not to and would have been totally justified in it but I DID and now the other person is getting their karma and you know what. That feels just fine to me
#personal#some shit happened with this girl at work and it was really bad and it (+ other things) did trigger the literal worst time of my life#but now it's all coming back around!!!!#so to that i say bless her heart 🫶#my boss looked me in the face after everything with this girl and said is there anything you want to tell me?? like THIS 👀👀👀#and i said: no I'm not in the business of getting people fired#but now guess who is getting herself fired#and still SUFFERING. and i am free of that hellhole completely#vindication is sweet. i hope she finds PEACE 💁♀️ bitch.
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