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Lessons in Bed | Nico Hischier & Luke Hughes
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summary: when luke tells you his ex left him for his skills in bed, it's only right that you and your boyfriend give him a lesson he'd never forget
request: yes/no
warnings: sexual themes, threesome, swearing, unprotected sex, oral (f and m receiving!)
word count: 6.19k
authors note: this is the first time I have written a sub pairing, not entirely sure how i feel about it but it is definetly something that needs improvement so sorry about that... nevertheless this is a threesome that had no help on it and the last time we did that was like our first threesome. dom nico in this was something i could get used to đ€
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Parties at your place always seemed to go off a hit.Â
Everyone loved the atmosphere of the apartment as they spoke or drank. The playlist you created was also always just what the environment needed to be perfect. Which is why you were so surprised to see him missing from the group.Â
Luke Hughes had been someone you knew from the moment he had moved to New Jersey. Being Nicoâs girlfriend meant that you knew all of the guys and oftentimes you were helping them settle in. Which was why you were so surprised when Luke was missing, this had always been more of his scene especially after college.Â
Nico could see that your mind looked as if it was anywhere else âyou okay schatz?â He called out over the music, letting his mouth hover close to your ear.Â
You nodded as you sent him a smile âjust looking for Luke.â You responded in the same tone as he took the chance to look âthink he is in the kitchen?â Nico remembered seeing him in there when he got you a new drink.Â
Nicoâs hand went up to hold yours âyou want me to come with?â His question made you smile âyou donât have to Neeks.â You shook your head before you planted a kiss on his cheek.Â
Of course that meant he was coming with you, interlacing your hand with his before he made his way to the kitchen, always careful to not lose you in the crowd. Just like the captain had predicted, Luke stood in the kitchen staring at his drink.Â
It made your lips form a pout âLukey what are you doing in here?â His head shot up as he placed his phone in his pocket âjust thinking.â The words were a blatant lie, clearly highlighted by the way his eyes avoided both you and Nico.Â
You dropped Nicoâs hand âyâknow you can talk to either of us about anything.â Your voice was sweet while you made your way over to the youngest Hughes boy âitâs embarrassing.â Luke shook his head watching you both come further into the kitchen.Â
Nico had to admit that he always thought Luke had some kind of crush on you, big or small, he knew it was there âyou know we wonât judge you.â He added, crossing his arms âmy girlfriend broke up with me.â His words made a soft laugh escape from your lips.Â
You placed your hand on his shoulder âbaby thatâs nothing to be ashamed of,â you shook your head letting your lips form a frown âshe did it because I wasnât good in.â Luke let his head dip back to where your bedrooms were.Â
It took Nico much longer to figure out what the boy was saying than you âthatâs completely normal!â You scoffed knowing that you had a good reason for not liking her âit is?â Luke had this sad look on his face that made you curse his now ex for hurting him like this.Â
Nico watched you run your fingers through the Americans hair âyeah like when we first started dating Nico wasnât the best.â Nico knew all about the ways he needed to improve in the bedroom as you were his first serious relationship, so the lessons from hook ups were going to do him no good âhe wasnât?â Luke couldnât believe that about his captain, the man who was usually so calm and collected who wore your scratches and hickies like a badge of honour was once bad in bed?Â
Nico nodded, pushing his hair out of his face âbut my girl turned out to be a damn good teacher and now I know all her spots.â Nico smirked as he leaned against the kitchen counter âyou thinking what Iâm thinking?â You asked Nico wanting to get his permission to offer it to the younger boy first.
The two of you had agreed that a threesome was something neither one of you was totally against, and in fact it was pretty high on both of your wish lists âHughesy you promise you can keep this a secret fâme?â Your voice was sickly sweet in his ear as he nodded âpromise.â Nico had to smirk at the way the boy was so desperate for your immediate praise.Â
It made you smile that he was so responsive âhow would you like us to show you how itâs done?â Your offer made him squirm âwant to know what it feels like to fuck a girl properly?â Luke couldnât help it when a moan escaped from his lips.Â
You looked down to see that a bulge had formed in his jeans âIâm sorry.â He went to apologise but you and Nico were having none of that âLukey it is natural.â You shook your head not worrying about it.Â
That seemed to calm him down âcan you teach me?â He didnât know who he was really asking as you both nodded âwhen the party is over why donât you stay and we can start?â Nico couldnât help but laugh seeing how the Hughes boyâs face dropped at your words.Â
Having to wait for at least an hour seemed like torture to him âLuke trust me.â Nico placed his hand on the boys shoulder âwith the way my girl moans youâre gonna want us three to be the only ones here.â The captain explained, not missing how your cheeks turned red hearing his words.Â
Luke swore he his heart pounded in his ears as he waited for the party to finish âyou know where Luke is?â Jack asked looking down at his phone seeing that the boy had not responded to any of his messages âI am pretty sure he left with some girl.â Nico lied wrapping his arm around your waist.Â
He looked to you to back him up âyeah Jack, I am so sorry he told me to tell you but I forgot.â The way you made it so convincing should have made Nico feel bad but it did anything but that âno worries.â Jack sighed pushing his phone back into his pocket.Â
The Center sent you both a smile âhave a good night.â You and Nico waved him off, feeling like you couldnât get rid of him quickly enough âyou sure you want to do this neeks?â You asked letting the door shut behind you.Â
Your question made your boyfriend freeze âI do but only if it is something youâre comfortable with.â He looked to you for reassurance, not wanting to push you into something you didnât want âI do Nico.â You nodded, pushing onto your tippy toes to kiss him.Â
It made Nico smile âand besides watching you teach someone all Iâve taught you is gonna be like really hot.â Your words made him laugh âis that what youâre thinking about tonight?â He asked as your cheeks turned a shade of pink, meaning he was right.Â
The captain pulled you into another kiss, wanting a moment just between the two of you before Luke got involved again âbehave mister.â You warned feeling Nicoâs hand squeeze your ass.Â
It made him laugh as he raised his hands in surrender âapologises madam.â Nico teased watching you look for Luke âLuke baby!â You called out watching him walk out of the bathroom.Â
His hands were in his hoodie pocket âhi.â His voice was quiet âyou ready for this?â You asked him walking up to the boy.Â
He didnât want to admit it but god did you smell amazing âbecause if you want to leave at any time just say the words and we will end it.â You wanted Luke to know that even if you and Nico were teaching him, he had just as much power as the two of you did.Â
Luke nodded âdonât want to go.â His words made you smile ânow you said she didnât like how you were in the bedroom?â You wanted to know where he needed your help, and if it was everywhere then you and Nico were happy to do that.Â
The boy looked nervous âthis is a safe space.â Nico reiterated the fact that you guys could all trust each other and that the events of the night would not be shared âshe didnât like anything.â Those words made your heart break for him.Â
And it was clear that he could see that âcan we like not talk about it.â He scratched the back of his neck not wanting sympathy from you as he was just going to feel embarrassed âkiss me.â Luke felt his eyes go wide at your words âcâmon Luke we have to start somewhere.â He nodded dropping his head down as he hit your nose with his.Â
It caused a hiss to leave your lips as your eyes screwed shut, if you werenât meant to be helping him Nico would have laughed âLuke bud youâre going about it all wrong.â Nico clicked his tongue hooking his finger into your jeans belt loop to pull you back to him âfirst you got to have some direction.â The captain spoke in a duh tone, placing his hands on your cheeks.Â
His eyes were always such a warm place to you âand then you can look where youâre going before you get there.â He dropped his head to the point where his lips hovered over yours âsome girls love it when you look between their eyes and their lips for a second.â Nico smirked seeing your smile as he was talking about you.Â
You nodded âand then you can show her youâre in charge but donât take her teeth out.â Your words were quiet as Nico kissed you. His tongue dragged across your lower lip, pulling you into a trance that made you whimper when he pulled away.Â
It stroked his ego as he turned back to Luke âand donât forget that you can move your hands around her body as youâre making out.â With that suggestion Nico stepped away, motioning to Luke to step into his place âjust relax okay.â You were too good to Nico, Luke swore to himself.Â
His hands rested right where Nicoâs were before âhi.â He whispered looking at how beautiful you looked this close up. Lukeâs lips were rougher than Nicoâs as his tongue found its way into your mouth.Â
It was a clear improvement as the boy also breathed from his nostrils while he let one hand travel to your ass and the other to your tits. He gave them a squeeze that made you moan, allowing him to deepen the kiss.Â
Nico almost had to admit that he felt a little jealous seeing you all like that with someone else, he knew your body was responsive so he should have known it would end like this. As you pulled away from Luke his teeth softly tugged at your lower lip âthink Lukey boy is a fast learner.â Nico teased the boy, seeing how your eyes were wide staring at the boy.Â
Luke saw your frazzled state âshould we move you to the bedroom?â Nico asked placing his hand in the back of your neck before he kissed you again. The American had to admit that watching how your boyfriend knew how to elicit the right reaction out of you, was hot.Â
You smiled seeing Luke again âyeah.â You nodded taking his hand in yours while Nico lead the way. The room was one Luke had never seen before, always feeling like your bedroom was far too private for him to impose on âyou like the place?â You asked running your finger along his jawline.Â
Luke nodded ây-yeah.â His breath caught in his throat seeing the mischievous look on your face âso how do you finger a girl?â Nicoâs question made you laugh.Â
He rolled his eyes âIâm serious schatz we donât even know if he knows where your clit or where your erogenous zones are.â Lukeâs eyebrows furrowed proving that Nico had some ground to be right âlike with her here her most sensitive zones are behind her ears.â Nico pressed a kiss against the back of your ear before he softly sucked on your earlobe making you moan.Â
The captain smirked before he pulled away, making sure that Luke was still watching âher scalp.â His fingers ran through your hair making you squirm in the process âgod wait until you get to play with these.â Nico couldnât help but grunt when he gave your boobs a squeeze.Â
Luke watched on in awe âand when Iâm eating her out Iâll kiss the back of her knees and all down her thighs making sure sheâs ready.â Luke nodded watching you look at Nico âNeeks think we should show him now.â Your words came with you pulling your top off.Â
Your red bra complimented your skin âeven though you are focusing on my cunt doesnât mean that you canât acknowledge my top half too.â You explained as you begin to kiss Luke again, but this time your lips didnât stay on his for long, wanting to find his own sensitive zones.Â
Nico unbuttoned your jeans as you sucked at Lukeâs neck, drawing a moan from his lips âthink we found it.â You licked your lips, stepping out of your jeans to reveal a matching set of underwear to the bra âfuck.â Luke whimpered letting his eyes screw shut.Â
It made you let out a whine âLukey baby I want you to feel me okay?â You asked taking his hand when he nodded âyou feeling how wet I am through these?â You placed his hand against the wet patch on your panties.Â
His knees almost buckled at the feeling when his eyes shot open âschatz stop teasing him and let him have a taste.â Nicoâs words made you pout. But still you listened to your boyfriend and lay on the bed for both boys to see âwhy donât you take her bra off?â Nico motioned to Luke to join you on the bed.Â
It made the boy look to you like he was asking for your permission âI donât bite.â You giggled seeing Nico raise his eyebrows, oh you definitely do. Luke brought his hand up behind you and unsnapped the bra with ease catching both you and Nico by surprise âdid I do something wrong?â Luke grew nervous as he looked between the two of you.Â
You shook your head, letting the bra fall to the bed ânot many guys can do that with such ease.â You confessed going to kiss him again âschatz if you keep on kissing him he isnât going to learn anything.â Nico teased you as he sat on the bench of your vanity watching the scenario unfold in front of him.Â
Luke kissed at your shoulder âthought I was just being used to teach him.â You shot back sending him an amused grin as your fingers tugged at Lukeâs curls âdonât start something you arenât ready to keep up.â Nico warned getting up as he wasnât going to let you be a brat.Â
You smirked watching him look at Luke âcâmere Hughes she wants her pussy fucked.â The words made you press your legs together as Nico forced them open again âget her panties off.â Nico ordered making Luke nod.Â
He followed the orders, slotting in between your legs âcan you lift?â Luke asked making you push your thighs into the air so that he could take your panties off âshit.â The boy let out a low whistle finally pulling them off of your feet.Â
Nico smirked at the sight that he loved so much âyou want to show us what you normally do?â The captain sat on your side of the bed. Luke got himself comfortable between your legs while he went to spit on his fingers âwhy donât you get her to do that?âNico motioned to you as it always made you horny.Â
Luke looked to you as you leaned forward, wrapping your lips around his fingers âfuck.â The Hughes boy let out a grunt feeling your tongue swirl around his digits ânow start out easy with two.â Luke watched how your eyes screwed shut feeling his fingers thrust into your cunt.Â
Your cunt stretched against his fingers âyou want to get her ready so do this.â Nico did this scissoring motion with his fingers when he sat behind you. Your back rested against his chest âshit.â You moaned showing Luke that he was doing the right thing.Â
You let your hips meet his thrusts âplay with her clit.â Nico brushed your hair out of your face before he kissed at your neck.Â
His eyes watched the Hughes boy totally miss your clit âyou see this?â Nico asked taking his thumb as he rubbed against your sensitive bud, your head pressed against his shoulder as your boyfriend hit the right spot âif youâre just fingering her you want to do it like this.â Nico kissed your ear heading your breathing grow heavy.Â
Your skin grew warm seeing two boys play with your cunt âbut if youâre fucking her.â You watched Nico move his focus to the pads of his fingers on your clit which more pace âwanna try?â Your chest heaved using all of your energy to look at Luke.Â
He nodded using his thumb like the older boy had âainât he a good listener?â Nico cooed watching how your hands tried to reach for your breasts, desperate to play with your sensitive peaks âLukey think itâs time you use something different to make her feel good.â Nicoâs suggestion came as he held your hands, stopping you from playing with your breasts.Â
Luke watched the captain as he knew the suggestion came with some logic as you started to appear as if you were close. So Luke listened he retracted his fingers from your cunt watching in awe as he saw how your cunt glistened.Â
You whimpered at the loss of contact âschatz donât be a brat or else you wonât cum tonight.â The younger boy was surprised that someone could have the power over someone else, to have the ability to withhold a human reaction.Â
Nico pulled away from behind you, setting you back flat on the bed âI love you.â He pressed his lips against your shoulder before he turned his attention to Luke âyou gotta go gentle first.â His voice soothed you.Â
You ran your fingers up your skin âplease Lukey.â You begged, wishing that the boy would hurry up âbaby be patience for him.â Nico clicked his tongue reminding you that tonight was meant to be for you to teach Luke, tomorrow Nico could have you screaming until your throat felt raw if you wanted it.Â
Luke took this deep breath as if it was going to sooth his nerves. His head hovered over your cunt âuh uh Luke.â Nico shook his head, stopping the boy in the process âhaving sex isnât just about fucking her pussy remember?â The captain ran his fingers along the inside of your thighs making you squirm.Â
The Hughes boy nodded remembering about what you told him in the living room âthere we go.â Nico smiled watching Luke kiss at the inside of your thighs.Â
For someone who didnât know what he was doing, he was methodical. Luke seemed to kiss you in the way that he divided his attention equally between your thighs, always hovering just close enough to your cunt that you swore he was finally going to start, but he never did. His eyes studied yours as he finally stopped âplease Luke.â You begged feeling him place an open mouthed kiss on your cunt.Â
It made you grip at the sheet beneath you âoccasionally focus on fucking her with your tongue too.â The suggestion was ignored by the boy as he brought his fingers that he had used to now focus on your weeping hole âfuck baby.â You moaned looking at Nico who couldnât help but smile.Â
Luke found himself settling into a perfect rhythm, occasionally looking back up at you âplease Lukey.â You begged wanting more as he inserted another finger into your cunt âthis greedy slut likes it when you do this.â Nico showed the boy how to turn his fingers into this come hither motion to get deeper into your cunt.Â
The Hughes boy sent him what was only a glance before he listened, turning his attention to you in order to ensure it was working. His fingers grazed your g-spot, causing your body to jolt âthere we go Lukey boy.â Nico praised the boy making Luke moan.Â
Luke almost slotted into the motions, bringing his free hand up to cup your breast. His fingers rolled your nipple between them, tugging at the peak âdonât stop.â You shook your head feeling your thighs begin to shake âsheâs gonna finish and you want that right?â Nico pushed Luke with the encouragement that it worked like a wildfire.Â
His lips sucked at your clit, swirling his tongue around the bud âfuck yeah.â Luke spoke against your cunt sending shivers through your body âcâmon schatz let him see what itâs like to have a pretty girl cum on your tongue.â Nico cooed drawing circles on your shoulder with his thumb.Â
Luke didnât relent, letting your moans bounce off of the walls making him feel like a moth to a flame âshit Lukey please donât stop.â Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as your body shook âright there a-a-ahhh.â Your eyes screwed shut when your cunt clenched around his fingers while your body spasmed.Â
White specks cast over the black that your eyelids brought upon you âoh god oh god!â You chanted as Luke helped you ride through your orgasm. But then it turned into him just being hungry, as he continued to lap at your release âno Lukey.â You tugged at his hair, wanting to pull him off of you.Â
He let you kiss him, tasting your sweet release on his tongue made you feel lightheaded bringing him back onto you as you lay on the bed felling his boner that his shorts did little to hide, graze against your cunt âshit.â You gasped feeling your eyes widen.Â
Luke laughed against your shoulder, echoing your same emotions âdoll why donât you thank him for treating ya?â Nicoâs words made you nod. You rolled out from under the boy as you patted the bed for him âsit.â You ordered him.Â
The boy obliged seeing the hunger in your eyes âyou gonna let me taste ya?â You asked running your hand over the material of his shorts âplease.â Luke whimpered, feeling his cock push to your hand.Â
Nico remembered what it was like to be in that position because you had this power to turn him into putty, and thatâs what caused him to raise a smack to your ass âah!â You whimpered almost jumping out of your skin at the sensation âdonât be mean and tease him schatz.â The captain clicked his tongue sending you an unimpressed look.Â
It made you frown turning to him with a pout âfine.â You huffed reaching for the waistband of Lukeâs shorts âgonna lift up for me pretty boy?â You asked causing him to push his hips up into the air, allowing you to tug at his shorts bringing them down with his boxers.Â
His cock ached for some attention, for you âgod.â He moaned watching you run your thumb over the swollen head. The precum oozed out of it working as some kind of shitty variation of lube. You let your eyes lock onto his as you pooled your saliva in your mouth before you let it drop into his cock.Â
Luke swore he was dreaming as he watched you do these little kitten licks against his cock. Nico stood behind you dropping his pants as he pumped his cock once and then a second time âyou gonna let him fuck your mouth while I fuck your cunt maus?â You moaned at the thought when you nodded.Â
Nico dragged the head of his cock along your slit wanting to not let his teammate get all of the fun that you could give âshit schatz.â Nico moaned feeling your cunt hug his cock, your walls stretching to accommodate him.Â
As a moan went to escape from your lips you let your lips wrap around Lukeâs cock. The warmth your mouth provided made Luke almost fall forward âyeah dude she sucks dick like a slut.â Nico laughed watching your hand massage Lukeâs balls.Â
Your cunt squelched as your previous orgasm was more than enough in terms of lube for Nicoâs cock to throb with some thrusts âbut that is what you love, huh?â Nico taunted you, as the feeling of your cunt clenching around him was not something that he failed to miss. Your words of agreement were muffled, but when your head bobbed with Lukesâs cock hitting your throat, it was clear what you were thinking âcap if she was mine I wouldnât share.â Luke almost didnât realise the line he walked on, he was dangerously close to pissing Nico off if he continued saying shit like this then Nico was more than likely going to take it out on your cunt.Â
And you could already feel him doing it; his fingers pinched at your thighs âpart of having a girl.â Nico grumbled, watching Luke grab your hair into a makeshift ponytail âis knowing when to listen.â Nico would never have dreamed of offering this to Luke, but you did, and Nico couldnât say no to you.
You moaned wanting to let out a giggle if it had been a more appropriate time âglad you did.â Luke confessed, watching you look up at him through your now ruined mascara âgood teachers.â He felt your throat gag around his cock making him grunt. The moment of silence made Nico smirk, finally having the boy shut up was the real stroke to his ego.
Luke squirmed beneath your touch, feeling your cheeks hollow out with your tongue swirling around the underside of his cock.
Nico thrust into you with such pace that the sound of your skin slapping against his echoed throughout the apartment, you were sure of it âfuck Neeks.â You let your lips pop from Lukes cock, quickly replacing your mouth with your hand âyou wanna cum sweet girl?â He didnât even need to wait for you to answer before he moved his hand to rub against your clit âplease.â You begged feeling your legs begin to shake as Nico had to also keep you from collapsing.
You continued to focus on fucking the younger boys cock in your hand âthrust your hips baby.â You cooed sending Luke a nod âI-i canât.â Luke shook his head, not sure if he had the energy to complete the task.Â
Nico hissed feeling you clench around his cock, almost making him forget how to breathe âwhen you get told to do something Luke, you do it no?â Nico used his captains tone that made you rest your head on Lukeâs thigh âschatz look at him when he finally behaves.â He made you pull your head off of Lukeâs thigh as his fingers tugged at your hair.
Luke watched your eyes open as he saw how Nico held you up with his hands in your hand. He felt overcome by pleasure, just needed that little bit more as he begun to push his hips into your hand.Â
Nico nodded with a grunt as his tongue ran across his teeth âainât he a good boy schatz.â You let out this harsh whimper âsuch a good boy.â Your coos sent Luke over the edge causing sticky ropes of his release to shoot into your hand.Â
Tears formed in his waterline âplease.â Luke shook his head, not sure that he could take much more, thinking that he was already feeling hard again âyou want her to cum?â Nico quizzed the boy who nodded.Â
Luke could see the desperation on your face âtell her that.â The captain ordered his teammate âfuck doll.â Luke coughed feeling your hand finally slow on his cock.Â
The Hughes boy had to think about his words âwanna see you make a mess okay?â Your tits throbbed as your cunt clenched hearing those words âyou think that you can do that fâme?â Luke used his fingers to roll your nipples between them, causing your moans to sound like music in your ears.
Nico didnât know how much longer he could take âcâmon liebling, show him how pretty you look when you cum on a cock.â Those words sent you over the edgeÂ
Your eyes screwed shut as your head dropped when Nico let your hair go âfucking hell.â As you came around his cock it caused his own orgasm to come on âjust like that.â Nico bit down on his lower lip as his head fell back, slowing his thrusts down before he pulled his cock out.Â
The captain rubbed his thumb in these soft circles against the hip, watching how his release oozed out of your cunt. Trickling down your slit to your clit âyou got one more in ya?â It was the first coherent sentences that you could form in a while âme?â Luke asked blinking heavily.Â
Nico let out a snort as he turned your head so he could kiss you âI sure as shit know she wasnât talking to me.â Nico pointed out, knowing that he could last for at least three rounds âschatz show him how good this cunt feels.â The captain stared at Luke as he cupped your pussy.Â
Luke felt his mouth water at the sight of you letting out another moan âI donât think I can fuck you.â The boy shook his head feeling like his legs were jelly âwho said I couldnât ride ya?â You tapped his legs motioning to him to set his legs straight.Â
His eyes shut as the image became too strong in his mind âyou can say no Lukey.â You reminded him of his rights as you sat on your heels in front of him âno I want to.â He was quick to shake his head, sending you a smile.Â
You nodded, watching him pull you onto his lap. His legs pushed you up âyou sure?â Nico had to smile from the corner of your bed where he sat, hearing how you were still making sure that he was comfortable âyeah I am.â Luke took the chance to kiss you.Â
His tongue past your lips making you mewl at the contact. Your hand found its way between the two of you âoff.â You tugged at his hoodie now wanting him naked too.Â
Luke listened, letting your hands do the work as you brought it up to his chest before you pulled away, âjust taking it off.â You smirked hearing him whimper at the loss of contact.Â
His cheeks turned red, feeling grateful that his hoodie being pulled off of his head did a lot to hide the initial warmth that spread to his cheeks âsuch a pretty boy.â You cooed letting a grin form on your lips as you drank in the sight of his now messy curls.Â
Your hand went back down between the two of you so you could grab his cock, your hands were delicate, softly palming him âplease.â Luke rested his head against your headboard, feeling you lazily drive the head of his cock across your slit. Nico began to palm at himself, enjoying the view from behind âfuck him schatzi.â Nico clicked his tongue, growing irritated at the teasing.
You sank onto his cock letting your nails tense around his shoulders, he wasnât as thick as Nico but Lukeâs cock made your cunt hug his walls differently âmove please.â Luke softened his grip around your hips âsuch a polite boy.â You nodded, slowly moving your hips seeing his eyes look back at you.Â
He studied your face, noticing every little beauty spot and imperfection that made you, well, you. It made him smile when he realised that your eyes had been locked on his âyou feel yourself?â You asked bringing his hand onto your lower stomach and making him press his into your skin.Â
Luke was more impressed that he could get that deep than anything else âshit youâre perfect.â The compliment made Nico nod, agreeing that the boy was indeed not stupid âI am gonna fuck you now okay?â You asked the boy, bringing your legs to either side of him so that you could properly work yourself on his cock, knowing that you were not going to last for long.Â
And judging by how he watched you like a cat who found a warm spot on a winter day, Luke was excited for you to continue. Your one hand rested on his thigh behind you as the other gripped at his shoulder while you brought your cunt up and down his cock. Careful to never fully pull off of him before you slammed back down feeling his crotch graze against your clit.Â
The movement was steady making Nico feel a little jealous that it wasnât him beneath you âfuck you feel so good.â You moaned not sure of how much longer you could last.Â
His cock throbbed against your cunts gummy walls, hearing the sound of your skin hitting his causing his forehead to turn slick with sweat. His eyes watched your breasts bounce with every thrust you had on his cock.Â
Luke was desperate to feel more of you âkissy?â He whined making you smile. You brought your hand up the side of his neck to his curls âso sweet when you talk so nice.â You praised him as you tugged at his hair.Â
The feeling made the boy moan, pursing his lips to kiss you âsuch a good boy.â You cooed as you finally gave him what he wanted.Â
Your lips were soft against his, making him grunt while he sucked at your lower lip âshit schatzi keep on doing you.â Nico felt his eyes screw shut as his cock oozed his sticky release in his hand âyou see how much Neeks likes this?â You pulled away from the boy allowing him to see your swollen lips.Â
Luke nodded feeling close to tears as his brain was on fire âlike it too.â Luke looked down to see how your pussy looked fucking his cock.Â
Your release that had mixed with Nicoâs creamed around his cock âplay with those tits.â Nico ordered making you nod as it was what you were desperate to feel.
His tongue swirled around you nipple while he fondled the other tit âfuck baby you wanna cum inside?â You were on the pill and at that moment not thinking about STDs âgod yes.â Luke moaned against your boob causing the vibrations against your skin to go straight to your core.Â
Your fingers strummed against your clit like you were playing the guitar, not sure if you were still helping him or if you were now using him for your orgasm âfuck doll right there.â Luke let out a grunt feeling your thrusts grow irregular making your body thrash around on him.Â
His warm release painted the walls of your cunt, bringing your own orgasm on. You chanted his name from your lips, making it sound angelic as your cunt clenched around him, gushing on his cock. Your head fell forward when he let your boob go, allowing you to rest your head against his shoulder. A whimper escaped your lips when you accidentally moved, feeling him still inside of you âyou okay?â Lukes voice was soft, watching you use what energy you had to pick yourself off of his cock before you collapsed next to him.Â
This was always Nicoâs favourite part of the night, seeing you almost too fucked to speak, âIâll get your bath ready.â Nico chuckled as he got up, squeezing your ankle âher bath?â Luke looked between you both as he was back to being confused.Â
Nico rolled his eyes, starting to realise why the boy was having girl issues ânow itâs time for your next lesson.â Nico motioned to Luke to follow him as Nico picked you up to bring you to go pee âaftercare and the importance of it.â Nicoâs voice soothed you, it made your eyelids feel heavy when you rested your head against your boyfriendâs chest while Luke shut the door behind the three of you.Â
Clearly, their night wasnât over, but it wasnât where the story ended either.
Luke felt his head hit the wall behind him âs-s-shit!â He moaned feeling his eyes screwed shut as he squeezed his hand around his cock continuing to thrust into his palm at a strong pace edging his orgasm.Â
Jack walked into the apartment, still surprised that Luke didnât come with him to the morning skate as he wasnât the usual Hughes brother to skip it âfuck oh donât stop y/n!â The moan came from Lukeâs lips as he reached his high making Jack freeze where he stood by the door.
Did his younger brother have a crush on his captainâs soon-to-be fiancĂ©e?
#amber writes fics#nico hischier oneshot#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier smut#nico hischier imagine#nico hischer x reader#luke hughes imagines#luke hughes smut#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes imagine#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes oneshot#threes0me#nhl smut#nhl imagines#nhl one shot#nhl imagine#nhl fic#hockey one shots#hockey oneshot#hockey smut#hockey fic
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6 or 17 for TimKon? :)
6. "Don't move, you're still hurt." 17. "Can you hear me?"
Consciousness slams into Tim like a breaking wave. It knocks the breath from his lungs and leaves him spluttering, gasping for breathâan instant mistake, because painpainpain explodes in his chest so hard he nearly passes out again.
"Whoa, Rob, chill out! Don't you dare move. You're still hurt!"
Kon, Tim thinks woozily, trying his hardest to blink the stars from his vision. He can't breathe from the agony. But he... he needs to protect Kon. A vague sense of impending doom floats through his mind, something green, something...
A tower. Why is he thinking of a tower? And blood. So much blood.
He has to protect Konâ
He can't move. He tries to sit up again and he can't move. A gentle but immovable pressure surrounds his whole body, keeping him in place, and he can't move. Panic floods him. He needs to protect Kon and he can't move andâ
"Dammit, Rob, I said keep still! Can you hear me?"
...Oh. For the first time, Tim realizes that there's a reason that "blinking the stars out of his vision" didn't work. He never actually opened his eyes.
With effort, he forces his eyelids up, squinting against the dust in the air. He coughs. Pain lances through his chest.
Kon swears under his breath. He'sâhe's here? He's not hurt? He's... crouching in the rubble, bodily shielding Tim, and... and he's okay. He isn't bleeding, his body is whole and not twisted and broken and bloodied, and... and...
Emotion wells up in Tim's chest, underneath all the pain. He clears his throat and rasps, "Kon?"
"Hey, hot stuff." Kon flashes him a quick smile. "Hold still. You've got four broken ribs. Maybe a concussion too. Hard to say this soon, but..."
Oh. That would explain why breathing hurts. Tim squints up at Kon, then around him, trying to figure out where everyone else went. Weren't they fighting some... guy? Guys? Some Intergang guys... Right, and they were armed with Apokoliptian, um... thingies. And...
Now Tim remembers the reason for "green". Someone had a Kryptonite-tipped rifle round. Musta paid a fortune to Luthor to get that, or else they were doing the bastard a favor. Ugh...
"Your spine isn't damaged, thankfully," Kon continues. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes off into the distance, listening to something Tim can't hear, watching something Tim can't watch, and then looks back down to Tim. "Okay. Coast is clear. I'm gonna get you to the hospital."
Hospital? Eh. Everyone knows broken ribs just need a few weeks of rest. Tim grunts. "Hn. 'M fine."
Kon gives him the flattest look known to mankind. "You need a CT scan to check if you have a concussion. Also, need I remind you, four broken ribs?"
He exhales shortly, raking a hand through his hair; he only does that when he's stressed. He rests his hand on Tim's hip, and suddenly they're both floating into the air. It's odd, because Tim is still laid out flat and can't actually move, but he's used to Kon by now.
Still, though. "S'only flesh wounds." He just needs to sleep it all off. It's fine. They can watch Monty Python while he rests.
Kon, though, doesn't seem to appreciate the humor. The sky is a brilliant blue around him; the wind whips his ponytail around his face. He looks unimpressed. "Tim, your suit might be made of kevlar 'n' stuff, but it's not made to stop rifle rounds! Seriously, what were you thinking?"
Tim frowns. Isn't it obvious what he was thinking? "Had to protect you."
Kon stares at him for a long moment, flying effortlessly towards Metropolis General Hospital without even having to look. Several emotions flicker through his eyes too fast for Tim's dazed mind to follow, until finally he sighs, rakes his free hand through his hair again, and mutters, "What am I gonna do with you?"
That's another question with an obvious answer. Tim grunts again. "Mmph. Cherish and love me forever. Duh."
This time, he winsâKon smiles despite himself, shaking his head as he starts descending towards the hospital rooftop. "Yeah, okay," he says, and leans down to brush his lips to Tim's dusty cheek. "Guess I'm okay with that."
Tim smiles.
#answers#watterbotleop#rimi writes#timkon#tim#kon#nearly had tim go ''...marry me. duh.'' but that would have added several hundred more words i think. oop
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the gap between sectemsempra scene and astronomy tower scene is so fucking jarring. Like harry sees him crying and is shocked by it then draco literally CONFESSES to everything harry was sure of (he was obsessed with him over that and was dying to know about his mission and to basically catch him at it)...then he slices him open and feels bad. Then NOTHING right to worrying him because he couldn't kill dumbledore? Neither talking to him nor stalking him. But dating ginny (it wasn't that he stopped for ginny he stopped it before ginny)
Absolutely nonsense..
I KNOW! I will never stop being absolutely INSANE about that section of the book. Harry walks in on Draco saying some incredibly incriminating and concerning things. And then Draco attacks Harry and tries to use an extremely dark and extremely illegal spell on him; remember, just using an Unforgivable on someone once is enough to land you in Azkaban for life. And by the way, this is a spell that most people who aren't dark wizards wouldn't even be capable of using properly. Also, Harry was already sure that Draco was a Death Eater and had to endure months of everyone else dismissing him and rolling their eyes at him.
And what is Harry's reaction? Does he feel vindicated and double down on his efforts to figure out what Draco's up to and stop him? Does he spend weeks gloating to his friends that he was right and then insist that they help him stalk Draco too? Does he report to magical law enforcement that Draco, the son of a disgraced Death Eater who is in jail, attempted to use a highly illegal spell on him and also is probably in league with Voldemort, thereby probably getting Draco expelled at the very least and quite possibly jailed (especially given that the Ministry is desperate to find people to round up so they can show the public they're doing something)?
Nope! These would all be expected and normal reactions to what went down. But instead, Harry is consumed with guilt and horror over the fact that he accidentally hurt Draco during a possibly life-threatening duel precipitated by Draco, who Harry is sure is a DEATH EATER, realizing that Harry heard him saying incriminating things. (I mean, really, I think Draco was just upset and also humiliated that Harry saw him in such a vulnerable position and lashed out without thinking, but the most logical assumption would be that he was trying to get rid of a witness - though I don't think that was the case and I think Harry actually knows that due to his deep understanding of Draco).
And furthermore, despite the fact that Draco likely poses a threat to everyone in school, Harry completely backs off. After seeing Draco in such a desperate and vulnerable position, after seeing how frightened and miserable he is, after seeing how investigating him led to him getting hurt, Harry totally backs off.
His only feelings are remorse for what he did. He seemingly does not tell a teacher or any other authority figure that Draco tried to use an illegal curse on him or even that Draco started the fight, even though that would have gotten him out of trouble. He feels so guilty that he seems to uncharacteristically feel that he deserves Snape's detentions over the incident, even though he feels nothing but hatred for Snape and usually perceives any punishment Snape gives him as unfair.
And it is in this context that he pursues a relationship with Ginny. While trying to forget about Draco. That is what he fills the hole in his life with. Just...wow.
And listen. I'd love to wax poetic about how masterfully this is done. How the jarring nature of Harry's switch from being obsessed with Draco to distracting himself completely through a socially acceptable relationship with Ginny is a really sophisticated way to represent his conflicted feelings about Draco and how he's trying to suppress his feelings of attraction for him, to the point of even lying to himself. But I can't. Because while that is what we see in the text, I know JKR did it entirely by mistake and, given the quality of the romances she writes on purpose, wouldn't have been capable of doing it intentionally even if she wanted to.
This is like giving a monkey a keyboard and having it immediately write a sequel to Hamlet that's somehow better than the original. Technically satistically possible, but highly unlikely and thus an absolutely mindblowing and insane development. I will never be over this.
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kiss it off me - jameson hawthorne x reader
a/n: hold me.. console me.. then ill leave without a trace... woah i haven't posted a fic in a hot minute!!! this idea has been brewing in my mind since like october... may become a series, who knows!! anyway, i hope you enjoy đ wc: 5k synopsis: you and your long time best friend, jameson, meet up on a stranded beach to escape for a little while. who cares about anything else when the person you love looks hurt? warnings: tobias is alive in this, best friends who r inlove, what else is new?
Your leg bounced up and down in front of you as you waited, sitting on a bench overlooking the beach.
You came early so youâd have some alone time, time to think, but you quickly realised that was the worst idea ever, because you didnât want to think.
You wanted to shut your mind off, you wanted to just be, and most of all, you just wanted to see Jameson.
So, there you sat, an hour earlier than the time you had agreed on with Jameson, wishing you had something to do other than sit and wonder and rattle your brain with thoughts.Â
Youâd been doing more than enough overthinking this winter.
The beach was a pretty sight, the sun starting to set, painting the sky shades of orange and pink, clouds looking like oversized strings of cotton candy in the sky.Â
You let out a frustrated sigh of boredom, got up from the bench, and walked over to the sand. You looked around on the isolated beachâyou were the only one here.Â
Your family owned this strip of the beach, so you werenât surprised that it was empty.
It had quickly become one of you and Jamesonâs favourite hideout places. Not that you were particularly hiding from anything; it was more so just an escape from everything and everyone else.Â
On that beach, nothing existed but you and Jameson, with the sand, the sky, and the sea.
You walked over to the blanket you always kept on the beach, folded and placed underneath a rock about twice the size of your fist to keep it from blowing away.Â
You unfolded it, sat down, and entertained yourself by putting some breathing exercises into practice. Your therapist had given them to you months ago, but if you were being quite honest, you didnât think of using them a single time after you left that room.
You werenât even anxious; you were simply bored. You wished you had your headphones with you, or something to keep you company.Â
The sun was setting even further; you stared out onto the beach in front of you and wished Jameson was seeing the sunset with you. Your favourites were the ones that had hints of pink and purples in them, while he liked the ones that âwere golden and painted everything else golden too.â
He would love this one.
You then looked at your watch, which was a huge mistake. Whenever you thought about the time or checked it, it only seemed to pass infinitely slower.
Only 10 minutes had passed since you last checked. Another deep breath, and you exhaled it all as you held your head in your hands.
You brought your knees up to your chest and then hugged your arms around them. Your hoodie kept you warm, and so did the layers you had on underneath, but you still felt a weird shiver in your bones. You made a conscious effort to not check the time, then looked up.Â
You turned your head left, seeing nothing but the beach, then right, and saw a figure far away, walking in your direction.Â
The walk, the clothes, and the way this person began jogging once they spotted youâit all told you it was Jameson.Â
You couldnât help the smile that stretched on your face. You brought your arm up, waving wildly at him. He was closer now, and you could see the own grin on his face as he sent you a chin nod and waved back.Â
You looked back at your legs as he finally approached the blanket you sat on. âHey, you.ââ He breathed out, standing over you for a second and grinning, only a little out of breath after running 100 metres or so, just to get to you.
With a smile, you brought your gaze up to him, ââHey there yourself,ââ you laughed through your sentence at the stupidity of the greeting.
âPretty sunset, isnât it?â He said
Just like how you had expected. âYeah,â you nodded in appreciation of the sky, âItâs pretty.â
He suddenly tilted his head slightly. âYouâre early,â he pointed out, and then with a furrow of his brow, he said, âHow long have you been here?â
You ignored the last part of his question. You glanced at your watch before answering, âTechnically, youâre also early. ââ
âTechnically, I donât care.âÂ
âOkay, still. Why are you early?â You insisted. If you were being honest, you were insanely thankful that he was here right now, and didnât arrive an hour later like youâd originally planned.
You had absolutely no clue what youâd do for an hour, which seemed to stretch on forever when you were alone.
He was silent for a moment, then sighed as he finally sat down, leaning back with his legs outstretched, looking at you. ââI know you; I know youâd be early.ââ
You quirked a brow up, despite the way your stomach erupted with butterflies. I know you.Â
ââOkayâŠ?ââ You forced a chuckle, tearing your gaze away from Jameson and telling those butterflies in your stomach to respectfully leave and never come back. ââWhat does that have to do with you being early?ââ
Jameson shrugged like it was obvious, looking at the sea when you finally looked at him again. ââI just wanted to spend more time with you.ââ
The butterflies did not leave and never come back.Â
You wished they wouldâve, because Jameson was your friend. Your best friend, though you felt that friend wasnât even a good enough term to describe what you were.Â
Youâd known each other since you were kids, been there for each other when your family wasnât, and seen each other through just about every embarrassing phase there is. You often times felt as if you knew each other better than you knew yourselves.Â
Friend didnât cover it.Â
But whatever he was, whatever your friendship wasâit didnât include romantic feelings.Â
Again, you wished those millions of butterflies to go find someone else to torment.
âThe real reason?â You prodded, raising a brow at him.Â
ââThat is the real reason.ââ He protested, gasping in mock offence. ââAlthough, I wouldnât be lying if I said that one of Xanderâs started making a weird buzzing noise⊠And, well⊠Getting out of the house was the safest option."
You felt a little twang of disappointment, then you felt annoyed that you were feeling disappointed. âSince when did you care about safety?â
Jameson shot you a look. âSince I donât want my eyebrows burnt off.â He deadpanned.
âOkay, fair.â You rolled your eyes with a slight laugh. "Well. Iâm glad youâre here.ââ You said a little quieter. âWith both of your eyebrows intact.â
âIâm glad Iâm here too.â His eyes glinted with a smile, âWith⊠both of my eyebrows intact.â
You were both silent for a second, holding back laughs as you looked at each other, until Jameson let out a snortâ and you both started laughing.
You covered your face with your hands, shaking your head as you tried to control your giggles.Â
God, could you get any more awkward? This was why you hated the idea of having feelings for him, because then you started to act different and make things awkward by saying things like Iâm glad youâre here with both of your eyebrows intact.
You were a goner.
Your laughter died out, then you started talking about your respective daysâthe things that set you off, the things you waited to tell each other in person, overall, about nothing and everything.
After a moment of silence, you looked over at him, noticing a strange look on his face as he stared out at the horizon. There was a deep crease in his dark brows, his expression almost grim. You scooted a little closer to him.
âWhatâs up with you?â You nudged his shoulder gently. âYou have that weird⊠furrow in your brow.âÂ
âNothing's up with me.â He turned to look at you, offering one of those dangerously distracting Jameson Winchester Hawthorne grins for a moment.
But it didnât work. It looked off and strained. âWhatâs up with you?â
âDeflecting and a weird look?â You raised your brow incredulously. â We hang out too much for that lie to work on me.âÂ
He sighed dramatically, looking forward. The sky was shades of dark pink and orange now, the sun bouncing off the clouds and colouring them.Â
Jameson looked at you once again, his green eyes looked extra inviting with the pink sky around him, like a dangerous sea you could get lost in, possibly never find your way out of, but one you almost wanted to get lost in nonetheless.
His eyes flickered over you, and you got the feeling he was trying to read your expression. âItâs times like these I wish you didnât care about me." He said so casually, "Then I wouldnât have to face my emotions.âÂ
The way he said itâwithout realising, he made it sound like there were other emotions, not just whichever ones he was dealing with right now.Â
âOh, donât worry.â You responded jokingly, rolling your eyes the slightest bit. âI donât care about you. Not in the slightest.âÂ
Jamesonâs smile seemed a little less strained at that. âWonderful.â
âTruly.â
âAgreed.âÂ
You let the silence stretch for a moment, seeing if heâd say anything else.
He didnât.
If this were anyone else, youâd stay quiet.
But this was Jameson; your friendship meant more to you than the fear of being seen as annoying or pushy. Besides, you quickly learnt that Jameson wouldnât talk unless he had that push, even if he did really want to.
âOkay, enough of these one-word answers.â You sighed, trying to mask the pure concern you felt with a light chuckle. âWhat the hell is wrong?âÂ
Jameson chuckled humourlessly, propping himself back up on his hands again. âYou know how it is,â he said, âthe usual.âÂ
âThe usual as in the old man?â You deadpanned, âOr the usual as in you did something reckless to shut your brain off?â There was no point in beating around the bush, especially when you both knew each other more than anyone else in your life.Â
Jameson didnât meet your eyes. He shrugged casually, âThe usual as in both.âÂ
Your heart tore a little at his words. You wondered if he was lying about one of Xanderâs machines exploding. Then you thought about it; you knew Xander, and knew he often resorted to his robotics room when he felt hurt.
It was highly probable that Jameson wasn't lying. He just wasn't telling the full truth.
It was a Saturday. What could the old man have said that managed to ruin his grandsons like this?
You hated how Tobias could reduce your best friend to a mess of feelings and emotionsâto a boy who felt like he wasnât good enough and would never beâwith just a few disapproving words.
Nobody should have that amount of power. Ever.Â
You pressed your lips together for a moment. âI donât like your grandpa. Not one bit.â
âThat's funny.â That dry, sad chuckle of Jamesonâs was killing you. He ran a hand through his hair. Roughly. âHe rather likes you. Says youâre a bright girl, a good influence for me.â
âI told you, Jameson,â your voice came out softer than you intended, âI donât care about anything he has to say.âÂ
He called Jameson ordinary.Â
Jameson felt like he was betraying Tobias for simply telling you what he said.
That was the moment you lost respect for the man.
âEverything he says is bullshit. If you donât want to talk about it, I get that.â You paused for a second, watching his expression and waiting for him to meet your eyes.Â
The second he did, you almost wished he didnât, because the look of sheer hurt in his eyes almost made you lose your breath.Â
âBut JamieâŠâ You couldnât hide the worry on your face anymore. âPlease know whatever he says isnât worth anything. If youâre going to trust me on one thing, let it be that.â
Jameson was silent for a moment, looking down at the sand. His voice came out hoarse, then he finally met your eyes. âI trust you with everything.âÂ
You managed a little smile because you had a feeling that if you didnât, you wouldâve probably teared up instead. âYou still wishing I didnât care about you?â
Jameson shut his eyes for a moment, chuckling. âGod, no.â He admitted. âI donât even know what Iâd do without you.â
He said the last part so simply, so matter-of-factly, you almost didnât catch it until you realised what he said.
âIf itâs any consolation,â you started, a slow smile dragging on your lips, âI trust you with everything, too.â
Jameson went still for a moment, something shifting in his expression.
He masked it so quick you mightâve missed it if you werenât watching him so closely.
Then his grin slowly returned. âSome would say thatâs a dangerous choice.â His voice was playful, but his eyes told a different story.
âI donât mind dangerous.â You shrugged.
Now his eyes turned teasing. âYou probably should.â
You rolled your eyes at the irony, but you still couldnât even manage a small laugh because of the moments prior. âLook whoâs talking, Jamie.â
âHey, I do mind it sometimes,â He raised his hands up in mock surrender. âYes, I like playing dangerous; Iâm simply saying... I donât like playing it dangerous when it comes to us.â
Us. He said that like it was something important to him.
âYeah.â You tried not to overthink what he just said. He didnât want to play it dangerous, as in he cared about your friendship so much? Or was he trying to say he didnât want to take it any further than friends? And let you down slowly? Or was he saying the opposite, that he was scared to?
Your eyes flickered over his face as your thoughts ran, finally focusing on his eyes. âGood. Weâre keeping us safe.â
He ran a hand through his hair, smiling at you. âGood.â He echoed.
After that, neither of you said anything else for a minute, which you didnât mind. You fell into a comfortable silence as you so often did. It was never awkward with him, there was never a need to fill the silence. You could just be there with each other and exist.
That was what you loved. In both of your lives, there was always way too much pressure on who you had to be, the way you had to act.
But there was no pressure when it was just you two.
You stared out at the beach in front of you, quickly entranced at the way the waves met the shore, the way nature seemed like the only constant when everything else was hectic in your life.
Well, nature, and you and Jameson.
ââItâs freezing, câmere.ââ His voice shook you out of your trance-like state. He didnât have a grin on his face like youâd expected when you looked over at him, but more so a look of concern.
He opened his arms out for you, and you let out a little laugh as you scooted closer, leaning into his chest.
Your arms wrapped around his torso, head on his chest. âIt is freezing.â You paused, âOh God, I feel my teeth clattering.ââ
âYeah? I can hear it.â Jameson laughed, slowly lowered the both of you down onto the blanket, then his arm began running up and down your arm, the other bringing you even closer in attempts to make you feel less cold.
You lay in each otherâs arms, your head on his chest as you looked up at the sky above you.Â
You stayed like that for a while, simply talking.
Every time he laughed, you felt his laughter, and you thought, surely thereâs no other better feeling, his laughter vibrating through your body.
Feeling it warm your heart like it was your own happiness doing the job.
The sun quickly set, and the stars were on full display. You specifically loved this beach, because it was so far away from all the city lights that put those stars to death. You could see everything when it finally got dark.
You lay in his arms while you spotted constellations, and laughed while arguing with Jameson over which one was which.Â
âIâm telling you, thatâs the Big Dipper. Iâm sure of it.ââ He said, unwrapping one arm from around you and pointing to a bundle of stars.Â
ââNo, Jameson,ââ You guided his arm over to the left with your hand, ââThatâs the Big Dipper.ââ
You turned over in his arms to face him, one of his arms wrapped under your waist as you lay on your side.Â
Your head was propped up with your other hand, so you watched his expression as he lay on the blanket, and he hummed in thought with his eyebrows furrowed.Â
He opened his mouth to argue but then fell flat. ââOh.ââ
He pointed back at the stars he was pointing at earlier, your hand still on his arm. "So⊠whatâs that then?â
You paused, looking at them for a good minute, trying to decipher which constellation it was. You came up blank.Â
âMy knowledge might be limited, butâŠââ you mumbled, your hand returning back to your side, and then you looked down at him again. âI donât think that even is a constellation. Theyâre just some stars.â
Jameson was silent for a moment before putting his arm back down in defeat. He hummed, âThatâs oddly sad.â
You adjusted the way you sat, scooting back into his arms and laying your head on his chest as both arms wrapped around you. You hadnât realised how cold you were just a minute earlier until you felt warm.
Your hand drew patterns on Jamesonâs arm. âBut it doesnât have to be.ââ You muttered, hesitating slightly. "I mean, they can still be important without being a constellation. They can just be stars.â
âThey can just be stars,â Jameson repeated, and you were suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you could hear his heartbeat, your ear on his chest. âI like that.â
âListen,â he started again, âThis defeats the whole purpose of what you just said, but⊠Why donât we just make it our own constellation?â
You laughed a little, shaking your head. âJust let them be stars, Jamie, for Godsake.â You huffed a laugh, tilting your head up to look at him.Â
âJust tell me what you see. After we leave this beach, theyâll go back to being stars. But when weâre here, itâs our little constellation.â
âOkay, fine.â You rolled your lips inwards, âOur constellationâŠâ You trailed off, trying to find something that fit those clusters of stars.
âI canât see anything.â You admitted after a long second.Â
You were almost saddened by the fact that you had a chance to make some special moment between the two of you, something for those butterfliesâthat insisted on never going awayâto actually have something to be happy about.Â
Instead of saying all that, you just stared at the stared at the stars and saw nothing extraordinary. Hiding that weird sense of melancholy, you asked Jameson, âWell, what do you see?ââ
âI seeâŠâ he chuckled, âGod, what do I see? I think⊠I see a bench⊠With two people on it.â
âA bench?â You questioned.
âYes, a bench,ââ he craned his neck down to shoot you a look, then leaned his head back on the blanket. ââThose ones at the bottom, those are the legs; then that part is the bench; then those are the heads of the people.â He said, pointing at each part as he went along. âSee?â
You squinted as you tried to imagine the picture Jameson was trying to paint. You tried, you really did, but you had no idea what he was on about. "Oh, actually, yeah!ââ You said, nodding. âYeah, I see it.â
A silence followed⊠Then Jameson suddenly started laughing.
You felt him chuckling against you, so you lifted your head. The sight of his smile was enough to make the biting cold disappear for a moment. ââWhat?â You said through a smile, unable to stop yourself from laughing too.
âYou are by far,ââ Jameson managed through a series of low laughs, one arm slung over his face as he continued laughing. ââThe worldâs worst liar.â
Your jaw fell open, accompanied by uncontrollable laughter on your end too. âWhat! Iâm not lyingâI do see it!âÂ
Jameson kept laughing, so you fully sat up, pushing yourself off of him and crossing your legs. He propped himself up on his elbows as he watched you.Â
âLook! I see it!â You wouldnât believe yourself if you were him, because you couldnât even speak without laughing through every sentence.Â
âThat's the bench, and those are the legs, and uhm⊠Those are the heads. Itâs our constellation!â You pointed up at the sky, vaguely in the direction of the stars you were looking at.
âI beg of you,â Jamesonâs laughter was dying out, but he still had that smile on his face, ââNever attempt to lie again. That was the saddest thing Iâve ever seen.â
âIâm not lying.â You said through a stifled giggle, putting your most serious face on.
âSay that again without that look in your eyes, and then Iâll believe you.â Jameson said.
Your smile faltered a little, and everything else in that moment seemed to slow down for a moment as you stayed looking at him, âWhat look in my eyes?â
Jamesonâs endless green eyes never left yours. He pressed his lips together for a moment, then let out a low chuckle, which more so sounded like a sigh. He didnât answer your question. âNothing. Lay with me for a while, will you?â
A part of you was disappointed he changed the subject; what did he mean by âlook in your eyesâ?
Then you criticised yourself for being disappointed. He probably just meant a teasing glint in your eye, like the one he has before heâs about to say something stupid in hopes of making you laugh.
You shook yourself out of your stupor, looking at the sky for a second before you looked back at Jameson.
With a roll of your eyes, you uncrossed your legs and shifted towards Jameson. âWhat a stupid question.â You remarked. âOf course I will.â
Jamesonâs expression turned amused with a raise of his brows. âInsulting and sweet, all in one go.â Jameson said, almost in appreciation. He lay on his back, and you on your side. âYou are an enigma.â
âDonât push your luck,â You muttered back, resting your hand underneath your face as you looked at him. âNext time, Iâll be just insulting.â
He turned to look at you, his hands resting behind his head casually with his elbows wide and relaxed. âI wonât mind.â He said simply.
You managed a dirty look, which only resulted in the both of you laughing. Your voice was hushed, âYou are very strange.â
âDonât pretend like you donât love strange.â He responded, a low chuckle escaping as he spoke.
You swore his eyes literally shoneâ glinted, sparkled, any word in the dictionary to describe something shiny couldâve been used to describe his eyes in that moment, but it still didnât feel true enough.
You were a little obsessed with the way they always seemed to be a little smiley when it was just you around.
You managed a bored, frustrated sigh as you puffed out your lips. âAnd what gave you that impression?â
âQuite a few things, actually.â Jamesonâs voice was low and gravely. He grinned at you, his eyes lidded slightly.
Your brows furrowed at that statement. Why was he saying things like that today? What on earth did that mean too? You were too tired to worry about it.
You felt a shiver pass through you as you looked away, then Jameson rose a brow and took that as a sign to open his arms out for you.
Wordlessly, you accepted the invite as you shuffled forward into his open arms. His arms wrapped around you tight, like they had a million times before. And you curled up against him, your arms around his middle.
You just then realised how late it had gotten. Youâd been here since sunset, and the sky was completely dark now. Yes, it was dark this whole time you were stargazing, but you didnât really let the fact sink in.Â
How long had passed? 3 hours? 4?
You noticed that Jamesonâs breath steadied, his hold on you the tiniest bit looser. Your own eyes were feeling extremely heavy.
You tried to stay awake, to dwell in the moment a little longer and memorise the feel of Jamesonâs arms around you, the faint smell of his cologneâfaint cedar and whiskeyâand the comforting chill of the breeze.
You couldnât help closing your eyes for just a few seconds.
Your eyes fluttered open, and you found yourself lying in a completely different position than you slept in, Jamesonâs front against your back with both his arms around you. You and Jameson mustâve fallen asleep still holding each other because of the cold gust of winds.
You carefully unravelled Jameson's arms around you. The pins and needles in your arm told you: you definitely did not just close your eyes for a few seconds. It mustâve been way past midnight by now.
Still slightly numb, your pushed yourself up so you were sitting up slightly.
Your attention went back to Jameson when you heard him groan slightly, his arms patting the blanket for a second, then he shifted to lay on his back.
You looked at the way stars shone in the distance, the sun long, long gone, and replaced by the moon. You then looked down at Jameson, who was still lying down, and his eyes were fluttering open slowly.
Thank goodness for the moonlight, and the faint beach house lights far away that illuminated his features in the prettiest way.
His eyes then opened fully, and you locked eyes for a moment.
A small smile played on his lips as he furrowed his brows slightly, as if asking you, What are you looking at?
You smiled back, despite your heart beating faster in your chest and feeling like you got caught in the act.
A part of you wondered how you could feel so warm inside when it was the middle of winter.
Jameson simply opened his arms out once again from below you, beckoning you in.
You didnât move, only letting out a sleepy laugh as you tried to engrain this image in your mindâthe slight messiness of his hair, messier than usual, the way the green in his eyes was no longer visible because of the dark, but they still gleamed and glittered all the same.
You suddenly wished you had thought of the time more, so that it wouldâve passed slower.
âCome here,â he grumbled, feigning annoyance with that stupid smile on his face, his voice tinged with sleepiness.
âOnly âcause you asked so nicely,â you mumbled back, as if you spoke any louder, the moment would shatter.
Your voices didnât need to carry much volume in this moment, because you didnât really need them. He could understand you just with a single look. You understood each other.
You fell back into his arms, and his arms wrapped around you a little tighter this time.
One hand was doing the same thing as last time, running up and down your arm, while the other was wrapped around your waist and pulling you close, like if he held you any looser you would slip between his fingersâsomeone trying to pick up sand, or hold water in their hands.
Your legs tangled in each other's, Jameson's soothing hand began to slow down, but you selfishly didnât want to fall asleep quite yet.
âJameson?â You mumbled against his chest.
He hummed, and you felt the vibrations coming from his chest. âYes?â
âWhat ifâŠâ You started, âWhat if this was every day? What if we just ran away from everything for a while?â
You were rambling nonsense, of course you werenât going to run away. You couldnât lie and say you never thought of it, but, it was simply reckless.
You could afford the consequences of running away, not with who your parents were and the image youâd paint.
ââI think⊠I wouldnât mind my days being full of you.ââ He confessed quietly, ââI mean, having fun with you. Making memories, living life to the fullest, and all that jazz." He continued, his hand resuming going up and down your arm. He exhaled, and you felt his neck move, looking down at you. ââYou got any more âwhat ifâsâ for me?ââ
You hummed in thoughtâyou had a lot. âYeah, actually.â You laughed slightly, âWhat if we get hypothermia out here? And, like, die before we get the chance to even run away?ââ
You felt him let out a low, sleepy chuckle against you. You bit back your smile even though he couldnât see you, out of sheer habit.
You wanted to lift your head and see his face, see his smile, but you felt way too comfortable on his chest to move a single inch, and you had that nagging feeling that if you did get up, you wouldnât be able to find the same comfortable way you were laying when you went back down.
âNever mind.ââ He decided, his voice breaking your thoughts. âNo more what ifâs for you.â
If only that could silence the what ifâs that lingered in your mind.
âHey!â you defended yourself, laughing slightly. âItâs a valid question.â
His hand that was previously on your back lifted up, and you suddenly felt cold again, until he began toying with the ends of your hair, then ran his hands through it, sending shivers that had nothing to do with the cold down your spine.
âOne that I donât have the answer to. Weâll see when we wake up.â
You managed a laugh despite your tiredness, and also managed another sarcastic remark. âButâŠÂ will we?â
You heard him gasp incredulously, though it was quiet. âYou,ââ he tapped your shoulder as if to emphasise your point, ââAre one dark, twisted person. If you donât have hopes for us surviving one night, how do you have hopes for anythingelse?â
âIâm not dark and twisted! I have hope, I swear.â You felt yourself getting sleepier, eyes getting heavier, and you couldnât help the light chuckles passing by your lips. âIâm just tired. Anything feels possible when youâre awake.â You stifled a yawn, ââEspecially with youâlike, having someone with you to keep you going. You know?â
âYeah, I know.â Jameson said. âIâll still know youâre there, though. Even if Iâm sleeping. Or tired. Youâre in my arms. Anything still feels possible.â He continued lowly, âSo, I will survive hypothermia.â
Jamesonâs voice could almost bring you to sleep. A giggle slipped your lips, âYouâre going to survive hypothermia by sheer willpower? Subconciously?â
âThats the goal, yes.â
Shaking your head, you let out a long sigh. âYou and your Hawthorne overachiever goals.ââ
You felt Jameson laugh tiredly against you, then you realised he was trying to keep himself awake, like you were, for the sole purpose of staying in the moment together for longer.
ââDonât act like you didnât know what you were getting into when we first met. You knew me.â
You let out a sigh, picturing the little middle-school version of you both ditching an event held by your parents, and accidentally meeting each other by the staircase to the cellar. Your spot.
You remembered your frustration when he asked you what you were doing there, when he was in your house.
Then you remembered thinking his green eyes were quite pretty, and after you got to talking, thinking he wasnât all that bad.
âI pretty much did, yeah.â You agreed with a light laugh.
Though, a part of that wasnât true. Sure, you picked up on his dangerous, devastating smile, that he was a risk taker, and that he did things according to his will. You knew he was a Hawthorne, and that Hawthorneâs werenât easy or simple.
But you wouldâve never known upon seeing him that first time, that you would develop a friendship with him that made you believe in fate.
âThen you should know,â He said, âhypothermia is not standing a chance against us.â
That word again. Us.
âIf we survive the night,â You jokingly started, hearing Jameson hold back a laugh and mask it with a cough, âLetâs do something crazy tomorrow to honour it.â
âCrazy,â he hummed, âcrazy, as in?â He prodded on.
âCrazy as in we run away for a day.â You blurted, without really thinking. âI dare us to do it.â
He let out an amused chuckle. âWell, you know Iâm one for crazy.â Jameson said, and you could hear the grin in his voice as you pulled yourself closer to him the tiniest bit more, adjusting your head on his chest. âAnd you know Iâm not one to back down from a dare. But are you being one hundred percent serious?
His hand ran over your hair, sending tingles down your spine. âYes, I am. Iâm not fully insane; we arenât really running away, I guess. Itâs just like a little road trip if you think about it,â you said.
âA road trip with no destination and not telling anyone where we are off to.â He contemplated, âSounds like a recipe for disaster. I like it.â
âAnd, where are we running off to?â He then said, continuing. âYou know, if we do survive this horrible, tempestuousnight.â
You let out a little laugh at his dramatics. You felt so at peace in this moment, looking at the pitch black sky with stars dotting it alight, hearing the faint sound of the waves crashing against the shore.
Your gazed fixed on those special cluster of stars, and you could almost start to see what Jameson was saying earlier.
The bench, the two people. Our constellation, you thought giddily.
âI donât know,â You admitted, âanywhere but here. Just for a few days. Iâm kind of growing sick of it all.â
âThen weâll go anywhere.â Jameson concluded. âJust for a few days.â His hand slowed, then stopped in your hair, then it moved to the middle of your back, and his hand lay flat.
Your eyes were heavy, and you attempted to stifle a yawn but failed.
You wrapped your arms tighter around Jameson, and felt his hand grasp the fabric of your hoodie. You wondered how long it would take your parents to notice your absence. Then you thought about all the things you could do, places you could go with Jameson.
âIâll make a plan tomorrow morning.â You mumbled in your half-awake state, because it didnât hurt to just be a littleorganised, especially when your ârunaway partnerâ was someone who liked to live on the edge 24/7.
You could hear Jamesonâs tiredness in his voice, along with that intoxicating smile. âI knew youâd say something like that.â
A little chuckle fell past your lips as you felt Jamesonâs chin rest atop your head. You curled a little closer into his chest, finally letting your eyes shut.
Youâd give up the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything in between if it meant everything could stay like this forever.
Well⊠Maybe not the stars. You wouldnât want to give up your new favourite constellation.
taglist: @x-liv25-jamieswife @wish-i-were-heather @thecircularlibrary @whatsamongus @littlemissmentallyunstable @anintellectualintellectual @lovethornes @maybxlle @sheisntyou @emelia07 @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @charsoamerican @hxress23 @imaseabear @clarissaweasley-10 @off-to-the-r4ces @thelov3lybookworm @graysw1fe @lanterns-and-daydreams @hermesenthusiast @elysianwayy77 @that-daughter-of-hephaestus @apollosmusee @hijabi-desi-bookworm @goldi-1-graysons-version @saigonharrington @peppapigsposts @thoughtdaughter3 @apollospoem @jjsblueberry @yayyy-insecurities
#jameson hawthorne#jameson hawthorne x reader#jameson hawthorne headcanons#the inheritance games#the grandest game#grayson hawthorne#xander hawthorne#nash hawthorne#avery kylie grambs#tgg#games untold#tig#tig headcanons#jameson winchester hawthorne#jameson hawthorne fluff#the hawthorne legacy#⊠jude writes
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I love how Laytonâs every action is driven by his need to uphold the legacies of lost loved ones; studying archaeology in Randallâs memory, being a true gentleman for Claire, firmly keeping the name that his brother and his parents gave to himâŠ
Whereas Katâs main motivators are her hunger for food, clothes and fame. Kat does possess some of the same kindness and compassion as her father. The two of them share similar backstories; never knowing their birth parents, being adopted, and losing people they love (Her dead and Uncle Luke and, for a short while, Alfendi in Katâs case).
Unlike Layton (who always strove to be kind and polite), Kat is very particular about who she opens her heart to. She definitely has her moments, like when she acknowledges Lizaâs loneliness, or when she connects with Ernest and Sherl.
Kat keeps her kindness hidden under this layer of brashness and frivolousness. I find this so fascinating, considering that Hershel Layton is her father. She loved him so much that she became a detective, named her detective agency after him, and kept searching for him after everyone else seemed to have given up.
But then, Layton left Kat when she was ten years old. By the time of the anime, Laytonâs been missing for eleven years. Heâs been gone longer than Kat ever knew him.
In his absence, Kat was raised by the rest of her family; Grandma Rosa, who likes to gossip (so much that sheâs the one to reveal Katâs backstory, when no one else did not Alfendi or Flora) and she never took any nonsense from Hershel.
Thereâs Alfendi, who⊠Itâs Alfendi. Katâs rudeness is tame compared to Alfendi. I so wish we could have seen them interacting (screaming at each other) just once. Kat may not be out solving murders, but she can be just as fiery as Alfendi, or just as snide.
Iâm presuming Flora was there for Katâ as an older sister or just as a figure in Katâs life in general. While Flora misses Layton and Luke, she would still complain about them ditching the family. Sheâd still hold a grudge, even if she tried to keep this hidden from Kat. But Flora, unfalteringly, would love Katâ she would keep Kat fed, take her shopping and read her books. Flora would do her absolute best to make sure Kat never felt lonely, unwanted or useless.
If Desmond and Emmy returned to Laytonâs life, and if Kat has met them, then Iâm sure they had a big impact on her too. Des with his slyness, his puns and his dramatic flair. Emmy with her brashness and her reckless riding.
Iâve already talked about how the Monte dâOr gang may have impacted the Layton siblings⊠but Iâll just say, of all of them, I see so much of Randall in Kat. The rudeness, the recklessness, the spoiled attitude, the greed (yes), the need for fame and glory, and the quiet moments of kindness. Also, having a butler. But speaking of butlers⊠Katâs never-ending determination to find her father and her unwavering faith in him is so much like Henry and Angela.
Iâm also including Clark and Brenda, who would have been Katâs adoptive grandparents if Luke had adopted Kat himself. Kat is not at all fazed by a talking dogâ as she knows Luke and Clark can communicate with animals. Thereâs Katâs love of sweet treats, from Luke and Clark. Katâs cheerfulness, her quirkiness and her love of cute outfits and material items reminds me of Brenda.
Hershel Laytonâs influence on Kat as a person is undeniable, but Iâm not surprised Kat turned out how she did, if anyone else close to Layton helped raise her.
#professor layton#Katrielle Layton#hershel layton#character analysis#alfendi layton#flora reinhold#randal ascot#brenda triton#clark triton#luke triton#rose grimes#desmond sycamore#emmy altava#lmj#laytonâs mystery journey#lmj anime#lmj spoilers#possibly?#laytonâs mystery journey spoilers#Iâm sorry if I missed anyone#Feel free to add characters#I still headcanon Janice was Katâs music teacher who taught her piano she seemed too random here
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i show up to the party just to leave
tw: angst, unrequited feelings, dubcon, asshole behavior, degradation, dacryphilia, y/n isn't a great person, neither is anyone else.
a/n: part 2 of seems like the life i need is a little distant. this has been sitting in the google docs since dec 2021....i really hope i haven't already posted this :[ also guys it's been a while, so if i have to add some tw's or whatnot let me know...achieved unc status i fear
: : :
The sheets still smell like him. Sharp notes of mint and sage and the ever-present smell of nicotine that seemed to cling to his body.
You had cried yourself to sleep last night. After Eren had essentially just fucked you and left. All you want to do is stay in bed and curl up in a shell.
But alas, thereâs class to attend. And Plan B to buy since the dark-haired boy had insisted on cumming inside of you.
Itâs not like he usually slept over so you have no reason to be so dramatic. Itâs not like last night was the first booty call, and heâs always been one for degradation in bed. And you especially donât mind being called a slut if heâs calling you his slut.
But you feel used. Disposable. Like the cigarettes, he crushes under his heel after ashing them out.
You roll over and check your phone, and the screen is filled with messages along the lines of:
Good morning.
Iâm at the cafe, just picking up some breakfast. What drink do you want?
Got you a chai latte because thatâs what you usually get. And a blueberry scone.
Donât be late to anthro!
The messages make you smile. Colt Grice is sweet. Tooth-rotting sweet. You look over at the clock by your bedside. If you leave within 15 minutes, youâll have enough to grab what you need from the pharmacy while making it to class on time.
âYou made it! I was sure you wouldnât.â Thereâs an easy smile on the blondâs face, beaming and bright. You dramatically sigh, âPraying on my downfall, huh?â
He hands you the brown bakery bag, âNever that.â
You sink into the chair, letting out a sigh. You hadnât done the reading, and there was a long homework assignment due tonight.
âI emailed the reflection to you.â
You whip your head in surprise, âYou did what?â
He shrugs, âI figured itâd help.â
âNo, I mean, I know it will. Thank you.â And softer, âBut you didnât have to.â
His hazel eyes meet yours, âYou seem tired lately. I donât want you to strain yourself.â
You wonder if tired is a code word for awful. You look awful right now, dressed in a college sweater with faded letters and a dark stain youâve never quite managed to get rid of, and sweatpants you haphazardly threw on.
You flick his forehead, âMean anything by that? Donât you know youâre not supposed to say a woman looks tired?â Your expression is deadpan but thereâs a teasing lilt in your voice thatâs specially reserved for him.
The tips of his ears burn red, âWhat? No, I didnât say that. You look great. You...a-always look great.â His response makes you grin, and you break half of the scone to offer to him. He waves his hand away, âNo, thatâs for you.â
He watches as you lick the crumbs off your lips, âSuit yourself.â
Youâre walking back from class, side by side with Colt, hands doing an awkward dance as pinkies nearly touch. As the distance seems to close, someone nearly ambushes you as they place their large arms over your and Coltâs shoulders. The blond himself nearly jumps in shock.
âReiner.â Colt groans, âYou have to stop jumping on us like this.â
âWhy?â The spiky-haired jock chuckles, âCanât handle a little-â
âYou could have hurt her.â
You roll your eyes, waving his worries away, âIâm fine. Whatâs up, Reiner?â
âJust was just gonna ask you if youâre coming to Zekeâs party Saturday, Colt.â
Colt wrinkles his nose as if he heard something distasteful, âThe one heâs hosting at Liberio? No thanks.â
The taller blond growls at his friend, âOut of everyone, you should really come. Think of everything heâs done for you.â
You place a hand on Reinerâs shoulder, âYou know...I could probably get him to come.â You wink before placing a thoughtful finger on your lips, âBut Iâd have to be invited right? I donât really know ZekeâŠâ
But youâve always wanted to go to Liberio, the hottest nightclub in the city, wildly exclusive and glitzy.
Reiner smiles at you, flirtatious eyes zeroing in on your suggestive demeanor, âYeah, of course, you can come. You can be Coltâs plus one,â You sigh in relief, but donât anticipate the sneer on his face, â...Or you can be Erenâs. Youâre pretty close right?â
Your blood runs ice cold, and thereâs surprise written all over your face. Thereâs no comeback at the tip of your tongue but thankfully your best friend has always been quite perspective.
âOkay, Reiner. Thanks for the reminder. Weâve really gotta go now.â He cuts the conversation short and drags you away to a bench under the shadow of a large tree. You sit, but he stands over you like a disappointed parent.
But hereâs the primetime for an awkward conversation.
âYouâre close to Eren? I didnât even know that you knew him.â
You bit your already chapped lips, a habit that the hazel-eyed boy wishes youâd quit. He fishes his pocket for the vanilla chapstick and wordlessly hands it to you.
âWeâre just friends.â You grumble under your breath.
He sighs, and you hate that heâs making you feel so guilty. What do you even have to feel so guilty for?
Taking a deep breath, he starts what sounds strikingly similar to a lecture, âEren Yeager is not a good guy, Iâve told you this before, right-â
âYou literally have no right to scold me like this when youâre practically besties with fucking Reiner. And fuck, Zeke? Zeke?-â
The tall blond takes a seat next to you, watching as you rub the salve over your bitten lips, âItâs complicated,â He sighs again, a sound youâre getting tired of, âIâve just known them for a very long time. And our families-â
A heartbeat. Both of you watch the leaves fall.
â--Shit.â Itâs rare for him to curse.
âColt.â You say.
âIâm kind of dreading it, but...maybe itâll be more bearable with you there.â
You playfully punch his arm, happy to see him admit he did want you to come, âI think itâll be fun. Iâve never partied with you, yâknow,â You pause, looking at him with wide eyes, placing a piece of hair behind your ear, looking so delectably innocent in the way you know he likes, âWanna see what you look like drinking shots.â
âIâm not really like that though.â He admits.
The club is everything you imagined. It feels like itâs straight out a scene of the Hollywood movies with the smoke, strobe lights, and beautiful bodies strewn across the dancefloor. Youâre grateful youâre wearing your friendâs dress tonight, a silky dark green number that fits your body like water. Nothing in your closet would have matched the caliber of tonight.
Colt gets a lump in his throat when he first sees you. Tries to keep his eyes on your pretty face so they donât trail after your neckline or the skin left uncovered by the shortness of your dress. But he finds demise there too, he doesnât want to stare too long at those kissable lips.
Still, heâs composed if not anything else. Heâs too gentlemanly to touch you improperly. The hand on your back is feather-light. Doesnât waver or tease lower.
âRemember, we can leave whenever, okay? If anythingâs wrong-â
âColtâ You giggle, âEverything will be fine. Now, go socialize. Donât you have important people to talk to?â You shoo him away, and he turns around with a look of defeat.
âIf anything is wrong, come find me ok?â He affirms, and to reassure (and perhaps fluster) him, you thread your fingers between his, clasp your hands together and press a kiss on your joined knuckles, âYes, yes. I know.â
The strobe lights shower his face in violet, and heâs grateful you canât see how red he is.
You weave through the crowd with no particular purpose, dancing on beat to songs you can only remember half the lyrics to. Thereâs an attractive man who lingers behind you like heâs some ghost haunting you. You humor him because heâs way too cute to not entertain. Tall with slicked-back blond hair, broad shoulders, and an air of cockiness that should register as a red flag.
This songâs pretty. Synth heavy and melodic. The man behind you doesnât shout his name over the music, he invades your personal space with large hands over your hips and whispers his name into your ear. Porco Galliard. The name sparks an unfortunate chord within you. Colt most certainly knew him, which means he was off-limits.Â
Itâs okay. You didnât come here to hook up with a new boy toy today. You came here to have fun. You could dance with him a little.
Heâs not afraid to touch you, hands all over your hips, pushing you closer. Heâs so close, you could smell his aftershave. Minty. If you closed your eyes, you could pretend that his hair was dark.Â
Porco bends his head to whisper in your ear, âYouâre so intoxicating, Iâve always wanted to meet you.âÂ
Your eyes flutter in confusion. Itâs cute, the blond thinks. Not minx-like like how you portray yourself, a deer caught under strobe lights. You frown, tilting your head, âDo you know who I am?â
He chuckles, and you could almost feel the vibrations of his deep voice. âColt never really shuts up about you.â His fingers thrum on your hip, âHis best friend.â The way he says those words are mocking, and you can feel your heart sink into your stomach.Â
You lightly push his chest, âI-I should probably circulate.â
His eyes narrow but he doesnât press, boldly kissing you on the apple of your cheeks and firmly squeezing your hip with the same hand that felt it was its right to situate itself there, âCome find me later.â
Definitely not, you think. Thatâs not going to happen.Â
You leave the dance floor disjointed. Maybe you needed more liquid courage. Your eyes settle on an alcove on the second floor. Tentatively, you climb up the stairs, letting your intuition guide you. You wonder if itâs some kind of VIP room, as you look at the velvety walls and the private bar to the side.Â
Youâre about to turn around, knowing you probably wonât be let in since youâre essentially a no-body but you hear your name echoed behind you.Â
Itâs Reiner, and he gestures you to come into the room. You mutter thanks although youâre not quite sure what youâre thanking him for.Â
âSome party huh?â He asks.Â
Not in the mood for conversation, you simply nod.Â
âDo you want to see Eren? I can take him to you.â
Even at the mention of his name, you could feel your heartbeat quicken, âOh no, itâs totally fine. Iâm sure Iâll catch him later.â
âBut heâs right thereâ. And that dreaded pointer finger points to the large couch behind a table left messy with playing cards, crystal ashtray bowls, and shot glasses. Itâs like youâre witnessing a stage with the bright lime-light only shining on Eren.
And the woman sprawled all over him.Â
Reiner nudges you towards them, even though your feet donât want to comply. You hate him for forcing you into this situation, no exit in sight.Â
Erenâs eyes are closed, not like heâs napping, but merely resting. You can see the dark circles but fuck he looks good. Heâs wearing a nice black button-up where most of the top buttons are left unfastened, showing off his nicely defined chest and you hate how you canât tell who the small red marks on his skin are from. A string of pearls is around his neck, fastened like a choker. His legs are spread, his body half-sunken on the couch.Â
Thereâs a pale hand stroking his chest. It belongs to one of the most beautiful women youâve ever seen. Sheâs sitting with her knees tucked under her, all wrapped up in a short glitzy dress, the shape and fit not unlike your own but you donât think you can pull off your dress like the way she does. Her hair is dark and curly, framing her shoulders, and she has one of those unique faces you can spot in high fashion magazines.Â
The way they look next to each other, like Adonis and Helen, like two halves of a whole-it makes you want to eat your insides.Â
âWhose your friend Reiner?â She asks, the coyness evident in her tone.Â
Reiner beams next to you, âSheâs Coltâs plus oneâ. Youâve never wanted to punch anyone more, although youâre more than sure you have nothing against the student football athlete built like a brick house.Â
The dark-haired woman coos, âIsnât that cute? I didnât know Colty had a girlfriend.â She pouts, âAnd I thought he told me everything.â Thereâs a funny feeling building in your gut, twisting and reacting over the nickname.Â
Eren opens his eyes, disturbed by the noise. Youâre not prepared to meet his viridian eyes. The âweâre just friendsâ you were about to utter dies in the roof of your mouth.Â
âSheâs not Coltâs girlfriend.â His voice is cold and flat, slightly hoarse. He looks straight at you, âRight?â But it doesnât really feel like heâs asking you anything.Â
You jumble over your words, âYes um, Colt and I are not dating. Weâre-weâre just friends,â You finish awkwardly.Â
The womanâs eyes narrowed into slits as she observes the interaction between you and Eren, your frazzled demeanor giving everything away, âDo you guys know each other?â A question not even remotely addressed to you.Â
Taking a long hit from his disposable vape, he blows out rings. âYeah. Same collegeâ
Jesus. You think. All those thoughts and feelings and restless nights spent with him, and he summarizes your familiarity with each other as attending the same school which is funny because you honestly donât know the last time Eren has attended any of his classes.Â
She removes his hand from his chest and brings it to you, offering a handshake. âHello, Iâm Pieck.â
You force yourself not to think about how this hand had just rubbed up and down Erenâs chest, likely feeling over the love bites she left on his torso. You shake her hand, introducing yourself with a shaky breath.Â
Thereâs no music, no distractions, a hazy dark room filled with smoke and people you were totally out of your element with.
Reiner and Pieck are talking about something, the words not sticking to your ears. Eren is staring right at you, through you. Viridian eyes staring soullessly, no words to fill the void, just him and his pretty mouth blowing out curls of vapor, nauseatingly sweet vapor that almost made you miss the cigarette stench.Â
You feel awkward, you feel scrutinized, and when his eyes stare at all of you, from the plunge of your neckline, the exposed calves and kitten heels you wore because you were too clumsy for grown-up heels (she wore stilettos), you want the ground to swallow you whole. Â
Clearing your throat, you cringe as you hear yourself talk, âI-uh, should get back. It was good to meet you, Pieck.â The words come out as a rush.Â
The dark-haired woman pouts, âOh but we just met. Though we could talk a little more, you know girl to girl.â She giggles.Â
Reiner smirks âLet her go, Pieck. Coltâs probably worried sick looking for her.â Eren clenches his mouth at the blondâs words but says nothing.Â
You can hear your heartbeat thud. No words come out so you merely smile weakly and half-heartedly wave to the trio.Â
As you leave, you catch a tail-end of a conversation you wish you hadnât, âAre we going back to your place after Eren?â
You reach the bar at the dance floor with lightning speed, wanting nothing but to dissolve like sugar. You ask the bartender for shots, shots, and shots, doesnât matter what. Youâll drink the man-shaped loneliness in your heart until it bleeds out. Your throat burns but youâve long learned to welcome the fire.Â
Youâre about to down your third shot of clear liquid until you feel a warm hand wrap around your shoulder. You turn around, about to give a stern piece of your mind until your eyes find concerned hazel ones.Â
Colt. Good old best friend Colt.Â
Good old Colt who loved you so much everyone teased you for it. Good old Colt who wore his heart on his sleeve and would never dream of touching a cigarette.Â
Youâre buzzed, not even properly drunk, but thereâs a bubby overexcited feeling bursting out from the seams.Â
âHey, are you okay?â He asks, eyebrows furrowed into worry.Â
You roll your eyes, so typical of him to always be so serious. âCome onâ, you grab his hand, âLetâs have fun!â He lets you drag him away to the dancefloor, fully knowing that if he wanted to, he could just push himself out of your grip.Â
The song thatâs playing is one that you and Colt have blasted multiple times in his car and that song has played so many times in that car, he swore heâd never play it again.Â
âThis is our songâ you giggle, and poor, awkward Colt who unaccustomed to dancing merely stands, peering over you with a mix of worry and puzzlement,Â
âI think youâve had too much.â He tries to grasp your shoulders but you slink away in time. Youâre perfectly fine, heâs just too much of a square to realize what having a good time is.
Batting your eyelashes, you look up at him, âJust follow my lead ok?â You guide his shyly eager hands to your hips. He looks at you likeâŠhe looks at you likeâŠ
Shit. Is this what Eren sees? When he looks at you? Genuine unadulterated admiration. No admiration isnât it, this unnamed feeling has more weight. Â
You intertwined your fingers with Coltâs warm hands. Heâs red but he welcomes the touch, moving his body to the beat, and you giggle at his attempted dancing. He laughs too and all is warm and good. So warm and good, but not enough.
You crush your lips against the blondâs and you can feel him go still. But that moment of hesitation passes because heâs crushing his lips against yours too, hand digging deep into your back. You part your mouth, kissing his teeth and his tongue moves against yours. Slowly, sensually, sweetly.Â
Without warning, he pulls back abruptly.Â
Heâs all flushed, âWait, whyâŠwhy did you kiss me?â What an entirely unromantic question.Â
You give him a smile so wide your cheeks hurt, âYou didnât like it?â
He stumbles over his words, âNo-No I did, I liked it a lotâ You wish you could kill the pause, â...ButâŠdo you like me?â
You tilt your head, âOf course I like you Colt.â
He doesnât believe you, you realize. And youâre not sure you believe it either.Â
âN-no you donât.â A deep breath, âI like you a lot. I think you know that.â Your nails dig into your palms so deeply. Whatâs he doing? Is he getting himself ready to ride the high horse?
âItâs not that deepâŠâ You cut in.Â
âNo, it is that deep. I like you so so much, fuck I-â A deeper breath, âI like you too much to be used.â
I like you too much to be used.Â
That doesnât make sense, does it? Donât you make yourself dispensable for the people you love?Â
He takes a step back, voice so soft you want to screech, âIâm going to go home. If you need a ride back when you decide to leave, Sasha can take you home.â
âColtâ your voice is on the verge of breaking, âYou donât have to leave.â His lips are swollen, freshly kissed.Â
He smiles at you, asymmetric and sad: âI should have left long ago.â
When you find Porco, there is no preamble. You whine not here and he pins you against the walls in the alleyway near the back exit of the club. Itâs cold and when you exhale, you can see air. Porco is comfortably warm in his bomber jacket that heâll never offer you. You didnât want anyone to see you and the dark blond in the club, but itâs so cold out here.Â
He moves too fast, hiking your leg up, slotting himself between your thighs. He pulls your dress down without much of a prelude, feeling up your soft breasts with calloused hands. He pulls on the nipple between his teeth, âYou like this huh?â Your nipples are stiff because itâs cold, not because of his frenzied ministrations.Â
Heâs three fingers inside you when you push against his shoulder, âS-stop.âÂ
Agitation colors his face, âWhat do you mean?â As if to emphasize, his bulge presses against your core.
Maybe you should let him have his way. It wouldnât be too bad. Probably wouldnât last very long either, but your teeth are chattering and you hate how blond Porcoâs hair is.Â
But this is a situation. You hold on to his shoulders tightly, trying to force over the awkward words, âI w-want you to stop.âÂ
Reluctantly, he pulls his fingers out of you, annoyance etched onto his handsome features, âYouâre a fucking tease.â
And he leaves like that. You let yourself slide against the wall, knees tucked to your chin. In a second, youâll fish your phone out and call an Uber, but for now you just want-
Youâre not very sure what you want. A moment to yourself? When has a moment to yourself never been miserable?Â
You hide your head in your arms, ignoring the goosebumps prickling on your arms.Â
Your nose reacts first. Those damn cigarettes.Â
Raising your head up, you see the dark-haired archangel who haunts your dreams and nightmares. The street lampâs light behind him makes him look ethereal, an angel with a street lamp halo.
Eren simply stands, watching you. Youâre not in the mood to break the silence. Awkwardly, you hoist yourself up. Your heart is beating, but you donât know if you have it in you to make yet another man disappointed. Of course, you could never disappoint Eren because he never expected much, did he? What was there to disappoint?
You forget though. Erenâs capable of apathy.Â
And cruelty.Â
âColt ran off on you so you fucked his friend?â
You grit your teeth, âThatâs none of your fucking business. And no I didnât.â
The corner of his mouth perked up, âThatâs good. You should be wary of the diseases heâs carrying.â
âAs opposed to what?â You snark back, âHow many sluts are you fucking?â
You didnât mean for it to sound so bitter, but it makes him throw his head back in laughter, âBesides you, I canât really think of anyone else.â
Thatâs it. Youâre about to leave but a large hand overwhelms your wrist, âIâm kidding. You know that.âÂ
You try to pull away but he doesnât let you, instead of pulling you into him and against the wall, in the very position Colt had you earlier. But now the chances of escape seem slim to zero.Â
His slender fingers ghost over your jaw.Â
âShouldnât you be with Pieck right now?â You hate the way you sound, reminded of all the movies written by men with overly jealous and bitchy female characters.Â
His thumb swipes over your parted lips, âNo, Iâd rather be much with my favorite girl.â
You hate this, Hate how your heart swims up. Hate the amusement laced in his low voice. Hate how desperately you want to believe him.Â
âThat shut you up huh?â He chuckles.Â
Thereâs a rude remark on the tip of your tongue that he swallows with a kiss. You kiss back. Teeth against teeth, mouth against mouth, his tongue dominating yours.Â
When itâs time to breathe, he swiftly unzips his jacket and places it around your shoulders. Youâre too shocked by the gesture to respond properly. You mutter out a thanks, flustered and flushed.Â
His hands grope your inner thighs, thumb digging into the supple flesh. Slowly he whispers into your ear, âLetâs go back to mine.âÂ
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As a result of hormones, being generally exhausted from lack of sleep, and the crushing pressure of the realisation that in a year Iâll be a legal adult, I have spent the last half an hour sobbing into my pillow. Fun times all around
#I donât know what I want to do with my life#I donât want to do anything with it#Iâm so fucking emotionally unstable I can barely handle three hours of school a day#and you want me to go to college or uni? to get a job after? to live a life where I canât afford to randomly break down in the evenings?#and for so long when I said âI donât knowâ the answer was âthatâs okay#you have timeâ#but that answerâs changed now#I donât have time#I need to decide which exams Iâm doing right now so the school knows which lessons to give me#I need to decide if Iâm leaving after this year or staying so I can go to uni after#I need to make so many fucking decisions and I just cannot handle it#and itâs so terrifying that the âwhen you grow upâ has been dropped from the âwhat do you wanna beâ discussion#because I have grown up. this is it. Iâll be an adult next year#and Iâm still as lost as I was when I was 12#while everyone else seems to have figured it out#at least they can give a straight answer when asked#meanwhile all I can say is âa history majorâ all the while not knowing if I truly mean it#I wanted to go to art school a year ago. an English teacher six months before that#now I realise none of those things speak to me#and Iâm scared#Iâm so fucking scared. of failing. of never figuring myself out. of ending up as a worthless good for nothing#like my dad says I will#even my little sister has her shit together. sheâs the one heâs putting all faith in now#while I just. exist. completely lost and confused and feeling everyoneâs disappointed eyes on me at all times#nothing can capture my attention for more than a few months. I canât realistically put myself through four years of study#there is nothing I love doing in this world. I canât even bring myself to indulge in hobbies most of the time#let alone turn anything into a job or field of study. it feels like Iâm trying to brute force my way through life#like a toddler who keeps shoving a shape into the wrong hole and not understanding why itâs not working#I just want someone to tell me what I should do. to read my mind like theyâre Janet from the good place and tell me what would suit me best#but thatâs impossible. the world doesnât work like that. Iâm on my own. and Iâve reached the tag limit so rant over. I suppose
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I kinda hate how dead Half Life/HLVRAI tumblr rp is. :(
Then again I may just not have found those people yet. Wanted to rp Half Life on here, but yeah, couldn't find any active accounts.
Anyway, if you come across this and you'd like to rp Half Life or HLVRAI on discord, you can send me a message, and I'll check you out. :> As long as you're a pretty decent person who won't ask anything illegal of me, I wouldn't be opposed. I'm also A-Okay with OC's.
#half life#hlvrai#rp#looking for people to rp with because I can't really find anyone active on here by searching#btw I'm 27 years old because I figure mentioning my age is important#Anyway I'm not expecting anyone to respond to this or even to message me#Also looking for people to rp with because I'm not really having the most fun on Twitter trying to rp with people I'm honestly frustrated#a rant is incoming below#like things were going great for a little while and then people just gradually lost interest in me I guess :(#like even people who I really liked interacting with who seemed to like interacting with me just kind of stopped unless I approach first#even then they may just like my response and respond to someone else#It's to the point where I'm questioning if they even like me or they are just tolerating me#like I'm lucky if I even get one response to something I post in a day so it's not very fun anymore#I want to post that I want to take a break but I know I'll be pissed if everyone and their dog comes out of the woodwork to respond#because it's like âthis is why I'm taking a break no one responds unless I have an issueâ#it's been ongoing for a couple weeks to the point where I've made a line graph
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no, More active effort, More conscious consideration
#boo we HATE your [the implicit perspective that anything taking less effort / less thought is Good / an Improvement]#and it's like Getting Good at anything. Some element does become easier to navigate successfully?#great so now you can forever move on to devoting more conscious effort to Another element / really further evolutions of the same process#build on whatever understanding. if you realize something you thought was Correct seems not to be?#congratulations: it was inaccurate / too limited all along but now You know that. Better#thinking about [effort] thinking about [communication] means emitting a psychic blast doing all the Languaging of honing ideas#and b/c interactions are two way streets you get no guarantee anyone will listen / put effort into considering what they're picking up#it's a delight when someone Does happen to feel you're worth effort but everyone could be doing that on principle. they are not lol.#some actually not [jfc] comment on an akd interview like#they speak w/such precision they're used to not being listened to or understood like#well we'd have to ask them ofc but i won't even argue w/that concept lol#having One Chance To Get A Word In Ever like but you don't really when ppl misunderstand you which is an inevitability#and then made more likely by any number of factors. including not considering you worth the effort of Trying to understand#if they misinterpreted what you're conveying no they didn't; that's just What You Meant. double empathy style#gotta be out here figuring out The Approach when the outlier is ppl who do Not [only think you're worth effort as An Obstacle]#alleging how when you like urself you will now Earn Friends like the more i respect myself the more idc if i'm Interpersonally Beliked#the interpersonal relationship that Is guaranteed relevant of ''we're both people in the world & so already in relation in just that way''#i love to Socialize by being in public ''alone'' like clearly no i'm not & like getting to take up my bit of space / do my bit of a thing#while this fits into everyone else also having their presence; doing their thing; is >>>>> being with a group as its nth wheel for no reaso#the effort of what communication works w/what person in what situation#the effort of what navigation of the inherent mutual effect of your sharing [whatever System (like; physics style)] works out best / better#when ppl imagining this are still limiting it to Certain Interactions b/w everyone anytime as the ''ideal''....#sesame street was out here like. sometimes there's people wanting to be alone / who are ''unfriendly'' & they're still part of things#once again it's like kermit thee frog knows what's up. mister macabee old timey barkeep what should i do#furiosa as well lmao i should watch fury road again. i can sense it#you can't have much of a chitchat with her. and yet
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i want to talk about real life villains
Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.
Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.
I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"
I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.
And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.
He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.
John Hammond.
probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.
If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.
Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.
book spoilers below.
In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.
He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.
In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.
THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.
I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.
In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.
I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.
Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.
And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.
I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.
Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.
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Oh my god he thinks I'm boring doesn't he. He doesn't find me interesting and talking to me feels like a chore im going to kms
#i figured it out a while ago#i think im over the initial hurt and am now kind of moving towards the distancing myself phase#bc he can't leave me if i leave him first#so get fucked#everyone eventually leaves because i cant hold their attention long enough#im not interesting enough#someone else can always make them laugh louder#or longer#or harder#or more often#theres always someone else who's more exciting than me#or who's idea of exciting matches theirs more than mine does#someone else who can make the mundane seem like so much more#and for some reason i can't seem to fucking figure out whatever fuck ass magic those people have#i dont have it#it doesnt matter if im smart or good looking or talented or amy other number of redeeming qualities#bc even all together they don't add up to equal what being FUN to someone means#banging my head against the wall#not that it even matters i guess#my big plan was to just run away and never stay put in one spot long enough to get attached to anyone anyways#always on the move#the only consistent company being the open road#i cant tell if im just lonely or a glutton for punishment#this is why i stopped branching out#stopped trying to meet people or make friends#everything is fucked up and evil and i wasnt meant for this shit#crawling back to the shelter of my room where the only person who can bother me is myself#and my sister#i don't think i could push her away even if i tried#shes like a barnacle
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artists never follow me back. can we talk about the expectation artists have for everyone else to support them, but they won't give it back? because that's a thing. unless you're a big account they can benefit from. not even small accounts follow back đ
#UNLESS my art just sucks or no one likes it or wants to see it. if artists arent elitist then thats the only explanation i have đ#yet i still try to support all you little crayon eaters#lee text#excuse me while i still try and fail to figure out how social media and socializing and and stuff works because i do it wrong every time#just trying to find the key to social media that everyone else seems to have
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Just saw a video where someone mentioned reading the curious incident of the dog in the night time, and they thought afterwards they may have autism too. When they brought it up to their mum, she was like "you knew??" cause apparently she'd done that thing people seem to do where they keep an autism diagnosis secret from their kids
It made me remember when my grandma gave me that book to read when we were all at her place for Christmas. She said something like "I think you'll really like it", which confused me cause I was more into fantasy stuff than mystery novels. I mean. I did really like it. But it's one of the things that makes me wonder... did my parents do that thing too...?
#i want to ask but i dont know how and im too scared#i tried looking through my medixal records but myhealthrecord only goes back to like 2020#my gp who i have seen my whole life said shes unaware of anything like that happening#when i told my aunt i thought i had it she was like 'doesnt that have something to do with your eye condition' like. it wasnt a surprise#the other day i got really focused on trying to figure out when freight trains come through the train station near our house during dinner#i was doing it for like fivr ten minutes while we were talking about other stuff and then i said yes the freight trains do tend to come at#night because theyre not allowed on the tracks in peak hours. and yes i have been researching that this whole time#and he goes 'its my autism and i get to choose the special interest' or. hyperfixation or something#i asked him why he said that (does he know?) and he said it was just a joke because of the 'thing about autistic people liking trains'#but... does he know...#do they know...#i couldn't eat the food at my aunts wedding and i was expecting him to make some snarky comment#but instead he just helped me.explain my texture issues to our aunts friend. which i did not expect at all#one day. idk why. but my stepmum told me her oldest son had been diagnosed when he was a kid and she didnt tell him. even when he came to#her. upset. asking why he was so different from everyone else. id known her son since primary school long before our parents got together#i had no idea what to say man i dont know why she told me that#like. is it some big open secret that everyone but me knew until last year?#im starting to wonder if some of the help i got in high school wasnt just due to my vision. especially if my mum is to be believed about#them wanting to put me in the special ed class. seems a bit much for someone with vision problems right...? always thought that was odd#but. its my mum. and the story was about her fighting the school on that so. idk if i can believe her.#ignore me#its late and that video just made me think about all this again#idk. maybe things would have been better if id known. much like thr adhd but definitely no one knew about that
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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How to Write a Ruthless Character
A ruthless character is all about the endgame. They donât care how they get there, lying, cheating, using others, itâs all fair game as long as they win. When writing them, show how they can cut off any distractions or emotions, making decisions that others would hesitate over.
These characters don't let feelings get in the way. Compassion, guilt, regret? Nah, they donât have time for that. Show how they can turn off their emotions and make choices purely based on logic. Theyâll do things that seem heartless to everyone else, but for them, itâs just another part of the plan. Itâs not that they donât feel anything, they just choose not to.
Boundaries? What boundaries? A ruthless character doesnât care about rules unless they can bend them to get ahead. Theyâll do things no one else dares, crossing lines others are too scared to even approach. The more uncomfortable their actions make people, the more it emphasizes just how far theyâre willing to go. For them, pushing limits is just another day.
They donât act on impulse. Every move they make is planned, and every risk they take is calculated. They weigh the pros and cons before acting, and theyâre always three steps ahead of everyone else. Writing a ruthless character means showing that theyâve already figured out how to win while everyone else is still trying to figure out the rules.
Betrayal is their go-to move when things get tough. Friends, allies, even people who trust them, no one is safe. Theyâll turn on anyone if it benefits them. And the best part? Theyâll sleep just fine afterward. Show how others react to their betrayals, shocked, hurt, furious, while your ruthless character shrugs it off like, âIt had to be done.â
if you have any questions or feedback on writing materials, please send me an email at [email protected] âđ»
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Your recent post about post-PH AU stuff got me curious: why would Linebeck not like Tetra? Is it something specific to the continuity with hum!Bellum or more of a common thread present across several/all your takes on Linebeck? It's an interesting idea that somehow never crossed my mind as a possibility, and iirc you haven't talked about it before, too.
i think it mostly boils down to him not taking kindly to having to interact with another captain, especially not one who used to have link on her crew and might encroach on his authority when the two crews work together. it's really just the most relevent to post-ph with bellum present, and bellum doesn't actually have too much of an influence on the way linebeck feels about her (bellum is the one who really hates her, he's a liiiiittle pissy that he never got to take all of her life force, and he never really spends the time with her to... not hate her at least a little).
i think there is a slightly through line between my aus of linebeck and tetra not being on good terms??? tetra isn't present in a ton of aus (usually not included if there's a big focus on just zelda), but i think in the ones where she does, their paths don't cross often. i know she's in the space au and the crimson king au, and i think linebeck has more or less the same feelings abt her (being that she's a little annoying but ultimately no someone he really pays attention to until she's actively causing problems or something) tetra tends to be more important with whatever link's got going on in aus. most of the time i just think linebeck and tetra generally aren't on good terms.
otherwise they just dont get along in my mind as captains who probably step on each other's feet a lot and maybe dont like each others crew much (i dont really think linebeck would be toooo fond of her crew either, and tetra is def going to feel some kind of animosity towards bellum even if he doesnt come clean abt his identity to her) and operate too differently
#goopi-e#asks#salty talks#i had to pull up my au list bc i do not know off the top of my head what aus tetra is in asides from space and crimson king#she might only be properly relevant in those and only those so. the two aus where linebeck def isnt going to interacting with her much#uhhh tags#linebeck#tetra#sure???#similarly??? i think linebeck wouldnt like her bc she reminds him of ciela a little but chiefly of jolene n he is NOT putting up with that#i think hed teasingly call her 'princess' specifically to piss her off#HOWEVER they do have to kinda get along later when tetra figures out she likes girls too and hes like the only person she can ask abt it#shes like FUCK hes the only gay person i know goddammit i have to talk to him#damien is ignored for. some reason. hes probably the better candidate bc he also likes women and is nice#but i think it should be linebeck just so they can like. talk. probably linebeck be hes easier to get away from everyone else#and she can lie and say she has captain stuff to talk abt be shes kinda embarrassed abt it#i need to take a longer look at stuff abt tetra i feel like im missing a lot abt her??? idk im not the most interested in her tbh#but i think linebeck doesnt like her much and the feeling is mutual for a while#linebeck likes only like two of tetras crewmates. he acts like a predatory animal that spotted weak prey around niko specifically#across aus character relationships tend to be different. i think link and linebecks tends to be similar? the idea of being a good team#across my aus theyre more like soulmates than link and zelda. they do have good chemistry to work off of imo#based on their canon personalities n shit. a lot of the time in fanworks they (tetra n linebeck) seem to be on bad/shaky terms
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