#it doesnt matter if im smart or good looking or talented or amy other number of redeeming qualities
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Oh my god he thinks I'm boring doesn't he. He doesn't find me interesting and talking to me feels like a chore im going to kms
#i figured it out a while ago#i think im over the initial hurt and am now kind of moving towards the distancing myself phase#bc he can't leave me if i leave him first#so get fucked#everyone eventually leaves because i cant hold their attention long enough#im not interesting enough#someone else can always make them laugh louder#or longer#or harder#or more often#theres always someone else who's more exciting than me#or who's idea of exciting matches theirs more than mine does#someone else who can make the mundane seem like so much more#and for some reason i can't seem to fucking figure out whatever fuck ass magic those people have#i dont have it#it doesnt matter if im smart or good looking or talented or amy other number of redeeming qualities#bc even all together they don't add up to equal what being FUN to someone means#banging my head against the wall#not that it even matters i guess#my big plan was to just run away and never stay put in one spot long enough to get attached to anyone anyways#always on the move#the only consistent company being the open road#i cant tell if im just lonely or a glutton for punishment#this is why i stopped branching out#stopped trying to meet people or make friends#everything is fucked up and evil and i wasnt meant for this shit#crawling back to the shelter of my room where the only person who can bother me is myself#and my sister#i don't think i could push her away even if i tried#shes like a barnacle
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