#which just weren't working for me
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New visualization that has been helpful with my intrusive thoughts recently: I imagine the voice in my head that says the intrusive thoughts is actually the Other Mother from Coraline.
For some reason, just telling myself "nah, don't listen to that" or "that's not true" or "that's not healthy" was never very effective and just felt exhausting. Then I was depressed both by the intrusive thoughts and because I was failing to uproot the intrusive thoughts. So I was just tired and sad and still stuck with intrusive thoughts.
But if I imagine the Other Mother disguising herself as "me" in my head and saying all those things, suddenly it's so much easier to fight back.
"You're unloveable." "It's stupid and foolish to have hope." "Life will never get better." "You should just give up and quit." "You'll only have friends as long as you hide all the essential parts of yourself."
^^ If I think of that as part of my head and me, it's like, well, it could be true couldn't it? I have data to support this. It is probably true, and I would be stupid to ignore it. Should I even fight it?
But if it's the Other Mother saying those things, I'm suddenly like, Wait, no, I know who the Other Mother is! I SEE THE BUTTON EYES! And suddenly it's so much easier to tell myself to crawl out of the Otherworld and stop listening to all of it. There's no hope for my life? Nah, I know you're a creepy spider lady who just wants to trap me in her creepy house. BYE FELICIA.
idk maybe this will help someone else too?
The visualization also helps me to have compassion for myself. Like, yeah, I know why the Otherworld and the Other Mother are appealing and tempting, too. I don't have to be mad about myself for being tempted. But knowing exactly what it is, I also know why I don't want to stay there. I'll pass on the button eyes, thanks.
#personal#mental health#i recently was able to make a breakthrough in therapy by visualizing it this way#instead of the other ways we'd talked about approaching distortions and intrusive thoughts#which just weren't working for me#so i thought id share#and heaven knows we all need more/better coping mechanisms right now
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one of my biggest issues with DDBA is that we're told that matt loves heather and we're told that he and kirsten are good friends but we're missing all of the little moments that actually show us why these people matter to each other
#ddba spoilers#ddba#matt murdock#heather glenn#kirsten mcduffie#you can't just tell me to care#show me why i should be invested in these characters and their relationships#it makes no sense because originally karen and foggy weren't even going to be in DDBA#so these are their “replacements” and they… don't exist outside of matt? don't get drinks after work? don't interact with each other ever?#well i guess heather has her role as the only therapist in nyc#to set her up for what feels like an almost inevitable fridging#they sold mattclaire better than they're selling mattheather#which does not make me optimistic about her longevity!#(mattclaire my loves… one more thing i miss from the original series)#marvel#text
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umm i guess im treating this like an au now ahah
pmd2 darkrai hasn't had time to figure out wtf is going on (he's been here for like an hour tops). he's lost his composure immediately lol
#this is stupid hgsdjgs#cresselia is a PAIN to draw btw#too many smooth shapes aaaa#anyway. i like to think the pmd series is its own universe with only one darkrai and cresselia there. and they hate each other's guts#so pmd2 darkrai got chucked into a different universe. where that darkrai and cresselia are more chill w each other#(which seems to be the case in the games and anime.. sometimes?)#pmd2 darkrai is BAFFLED that they aren't mortal enemies here lol he's so expecting to get beat up all over again#he would be running away so fast if he weren't being dragged by the hair hgfhdsfkjg#i didnt put much thought into how this would even work i just thought it was funny and ran with it LOL#pmd2 darkrai probably woke up saw another him and went 'ah yes i must be in the past now there's two of me to work together'#talking like 'haha this is perfect let us combine our might to plunge this world into darkness' or some shit#and the other darkrai just. stares. says to themself 'yeah im too tired for this shit im taking this weirdo to cresselia' LOL#pokemon#darkrai#pmd darkrai#cresselia#two darkrais au#pmd au#anirritant art
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[ID in alt]
More wartime/SiB timeline sketches, this time with some Goats :D
Asmund and Gormflaith are my ocs! I'm a big fan of when ppl use Asgore's old design as a base for his dad, so, of course I had to as well, hehe. And then I wanted Toriel to have a cool maiden name so, Eldis :>
#edit: had to move the tags up and rearrange stuff cuz they weren't working lmao.#sunn art#sunn ocs#dont repost#undertale#sib timeline#toriel#asgore#oc: asmund dreemurr#oc: gormflaith dreemurr#fanart#artists on tumblr#undertale fanart#i have toriels hair grown out a bit cuz i like to think she started buzzing it after. yk. her kids died ._.#tbh not totally hyped abt gormflaith's design.. might redesign her later but. for now we have this#i think the parents are just stiff to me cuz i was so focused on getting the design out that I didn't do good with the pose#maybe if i do more drawings ill like it more. idk. anyway#went on a name rabbit hole trying to research old swedish/germanic/norse-origin names that could combine into “asgore”#Fun fact: asgore actually has a fairly close equivalent in Asger (germanic origin); derivative of ÁsgæiRR; which vaguely means “Spear god”!#interesting stuff. anyways#asmund is “Protector god” while Gormflaith is “Splendid sovereignty”. cool names And they can (kinda) combine into “asgore”#(had to compromise with “Gor” instead of “Gore” cuz i couldn't find anything with that specific spelling ToT)#Eldis means “flame goddess”. which i thought was fitting :)#all that to say: yall should go check out https://www.nordicnames.de/wiki/Main_Page ; its helpful :)#MOVING ON. TAGS [see edit]#almost hit the tag limit with this one boys
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Sorry if this is too unrelated or something, but do you have any tips for comic composition? I absolutely adore how you frame everything, from the backgrounds, to the bubble placement, to the way the colors seem to fit together in each panel, and I've always been curious about how you do it
if this is too vague/overcomplicated I understand, I love your work and hope you're doing well <3
Hm... well. Honestly, most of my composition comes from transcribing the animation of residuum that's happening in my head. Which is why, if any of y'all've noticed, residuum is framed a bit like a movie. So if you're looking to do something similar, I'd recommend either studying camera techniques, or watching movie analysis with a focus on camera work. I'm unfortunately a bad person to ask, as a lot of what I do just comes via practice that's turned to instinct.
This is a really good resource on page compositions in general, though I mostly do panel by panel stuff for my own ease:
The background style is actually directly inspired from @meandtheyeehaws, it's fast, easy, and doesn't require too much thought on my part. You spend a lot of time on comics, so you take shortcuts where you're willing to.
Bubble placement... I've noticed that people tend to laser focus on dialogue. So, the dialogue bubbles are how you lead the reader's eyes. They are the very base of the reader's eye path. All this means is that you should just map the eye path you want and then frame everything else around that. Either to bring notice to stuff or to hide something in plain sight.
Honestly, I have no idea for the color thing. It's one of the things I actually wish the comic was better with. All I do is have set color swatches for characters, and do a transparent color mask to the background color. I love to color, but color itself isn't really my strong suit.
#residual asks#creation advice#my layouts are pretty samey on purpose for speed#but sometimes i wish they weren't just so i could do some wack ass shit#but that would take me way longer lmao#you can see my other page styles in the bonus comics though so *shrug*#anyway#just find what works for you and don't hold yourself in a hole if you want to branch out#also this has been sitting in my drafts for so long. i am so sorry#though that movie thing is also just due to the aspect ratio i use for panels#...which i chose specifically so that youtube dubbers would have an easier time formatting the comic for video#i watched so many comic dubs as a kid that i figured a dub was inevitable lmao
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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I miss them so bad (Dick and Damian)
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#damian wayne#dick grayson#ITS JUST NOT THE SAME MAN#idk i was reading nightwing must die (again...) bc i was in a funk and saw another post saying how fans exaggerate the closeness btwn them#and on the one hand i get it. there is a very rosy portrayal of their relationship you'll come across in fanon#and they weren't very close at the beginning of their relationship#but man. reading Nightwing must die again was like#YES they fight. damian instigates it and while dick tries to exercise patience he does fight back/lash out on occasion#but despite all that it's still emphasized how important the two are to each other#when dick is forced to picture a future where he's lost his way he pictures damian being the one to bring him back#not necessarily bc damian is his favorite person on the planet but bc he gave damian robin. for a lot of practical reasons-#-but also bc how far damians come is (i think at least based on this arc) a testament to dick that hes doing Something right#both as a hero/person#damian is more than just a burden saddled on him (although there's an element of that in their batman and robin run)#he's also a last remaining connection to bruce when he's gone (remembering where he comes from) AND he's training damian+#-his own way! with a dash of tough love and workaholic spirit inherited but also a lot of patience and focus on being More than the darkness#idc what ppl say nightwing must die makes sense for these two. its a retcon but one that works imo#that dick buried his head in the sand about how much damian meant/the responsibility he had to him bc it was a commitment he was afraid of#and how damian ultimately was a point of maturation for dick even if he went back to being Nightwing#they were SO goddamn close and now they're still close but only in ways that are implied#and their bond is deemphasized in comparison to each others bond w/ say bruce. which i think is a shame#it was a wrinkle! a fun wrinkle that the batfamily had that in some ways dick understood damian better than Bruce-#-even if he didn't feel like he could handle the responsibility of raising him full time#it kills me that bc of the n52 we never got the handover of the batman mantle (and damian) from dick to bruce#next nightwing writer...include a flashback to that moment AND have damian appear in the book in present....AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!#anyway. dick is damians brother but also damian a little bit imprinted on him like a baby duck and its rubbed off on dick#they're partners they're mentor mentee but most importantly they were batman and robin. and they were the greatest#NOT bc it was all peaches and roses but bc they cared for each other exponentially despite all that
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You know I was wondering if Crocodile ever did have any kind of involvement with the Revolutionary Army in secret (lest the Government finds out and revokes his Shichibukai status), what kind of involvement would that even have been
And now, with both the Vegapunk/Ohara flashback and Kuma's flashback, it's being made very clear to us that the Revolutionary Army was broke as hell 22 years ago. Like the fact that this has been brought up twice now in a relatively short span of time is interesting to me, that's usually a sign it's not an unimportant plotpoint
But you know who would have had money to help fund the Army
A funny little warlord who would eventually go and build a fucking casino to run for funsies. A warlord who had to give the Government some of his Pirating Income to keep his warlord-status
Like Crocodile hated the Government anyways so why not help fund the Revolutionary Army in secret, out of spite if for no other reason
Vaguely related, but I keep on remembering this scene (post-Enies Lobby), which at first glance just seems like a basic Lore Dump
But then there's the
"Yet..."
(Or "however", she says "no ni" in Japanese and you could translate that in many ways, I would probably have gone with "however" but that wouldn't have fit into the speechbubble)
Mind you, the conversation just kind of ends there, next we see Garp realize he probably shouldn't have mentioned Dragon infront of such a massive audience, so wherever that "yet" was going to lead to we will never find out, because Oda conveniently changed the subject before we got to it
And you know. Like yes, Robin could be just expressing her shock over finding out that the leader of the Revolutionary Army had a child with someone
But also, Robin was a part of an organization that was trying to overthrow one of the founding countries of the World Government in an explicit attempt to go against said Government (compared to like, Blackbeard, who currently wants to make Fullalead into a "pirate country" that's a part OF the World Government)
Like you don't have to be a genius to look at Crocodile's ultimate goals and compare that to what Dragon is doing and find a few similarities here and there maybe
(Also like, Crocodile's equivalent in Romancing SaGa 2 is meant to be Wagnas, the queer-coded leader of the Seven Heroes (whom the OG Shichibukai are based on) who "hoped to help the world". You know, an interesting detail and all.)
Not to mention, during the time Robin spent with Baroque Works, if Crocodile was ever in contact with the Revolutionary Army at all, considdering she has the ability to easily spy on people and that she didn't trust Crocodile one bit, it wouldn't be unsurprising if she ever spied on Crocodile and/or just overheard a phone call or knew about Crocodile having secret spending habits or something
(Mind you, I'm not saying "she knew" Crocodile was involved with the Revolutionaries, more that she might've been Suspecting Things, that "yet" being about her connecting the dots while unsure if her conclusion was right or not)
Of course Crocodile's plans can't have been Dragon Approved by any means, especially considdering the Army had been looking for Robin for over 10 years (pre-timeskip)
Four years of which were with Crocodile. Like if he was FULLY allied with the Army and KNEW they were looking for Robin, surely he would've called Dragon and been like "hey I found the kid from Ohara, wanna come hang out" or something. But no, he had bigger plans and kept Robin a secret from the Revolutionaries and the Government alike
Also like, I have seen people question why the Revolutionaries weren't involved with Alabasta's rebellion at all, and "Oda hadn't come up with the Revolutionaries yet at the time of writing" (/"OP was meant to end at Alabasta at one point so there would've been no reason to introduce the subplot at that point") aside Between Baroque Works being a secret organization working undercover (thus the Army might not have been aware of the civil war being manufactured), the framing of the King making him look bad and very much the type of monarch that deserved to be overthrown in the Army's eyes, and Crocodile maybe lying through his teeth about what was happening in the country... Yeah, the Army's lack of involvement with Alabasta suddenly makes sense
EDIT Minor addition: Just realized that because Crocodile was technically working for the Government, if the Revs ever did send forces to participate in Alabasta's civil army and taking down the throne, the Government could've easily ordered Crocodile to step in to stop the rebellion and take down the Revolutionaries, right? Because he was supposed to be on the Government's side, right? And surely the Army wouldn't have wanted to fight against Crocodile if they were secretly allied (Croc's secret betrayal aside), and if Crocodile refused to fight the Revs the Government could've seen that as a reason to revoke his Shichibukai rights (which wouldn't be great if they wanted to keep Crocodile in a position where he could fund the Army?). So it could've also been a case of it being for the best for everyone's sake to let this one play out "naturally"
But my point is
I'm just deeply intriqued by these little details and wonder if I'm Actually Masterfully Connecting The Dots Like a True Genius or just seeing a pattern where there's none. Like this is far from confirming the theory, I'm just saying, the pieces do kinda fit together do they not
#Moon posting#OP spoilers#chapter 1097#I'm just saying Crocodile being the Revolutionary Army's Secret Sugar Daddy would be hysterical#Not me having to tag this as OP spoilers because of one and a half panels from the latest chapter lmao#Also Croc and Iva knew each other etc etc everybody remembers that I don't need to point it out#((Although in Impel Down Iva-chan does actually tell Bon-chan about Crocodile being imprisoned at Level 6))#((Saying ''he's crazy too in his own way''. Which is an interesting comment. IDK what to make of it. But it's there))#((Like Level 5.5 was able to access news from outside Impel Down to the point they knew Bon-chan had worked under Crocodile))#((To the point Iva-chan was like ''weren't you and Strawhat enemies''. So like. IDK I'm just Intriqued))#You could also make an argument that this could also tie into Crocodile's good ol' trust issues#'Cause if his involvement with the Army was ever found out he'd have his Shichibukai Rights revoked etc#Also interestingly the Kuma flashback has very much skipped completely the period of time during Luffy was born#Going from the founding of the Army 22 years ago to Ginny's kidnapping 14 years ago#Crocodad Real etc (jk)#You know the derangement is bad when I look at one irrelevant line of dialogue and go like ''is this about my blorbo''#OP Meta
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work related question does anyone have any fun anime for likely 12-14 year olds that to their ulta-conservative conspiracy theory parents would have no objectionable content whatsoever that's not like . pokemon. i live in the most conservative area in michigan btw /hj
#gu6chan's musings#tl;dr so idk if i ever mentioned on this blog but i live in a very small town (less than 900 people in the TOWNSHIP which is like#...3? different towns? maybe 4)#i digress#and since i work in a public position its like#i've been trying to organise more community events this summer ESPECIALLY among the youth#and was like 'we can try appealing to hobbies; i think' and listed a couple suggestions like this and that#so i was talking to my higher ups about it and they were like 'OH! youre super into anime right'#and i was like 'uh... sure???' bc i hadn't seen ANYTHING in a hot second and am still stuck in 2008 so i dont know any new series#but they knew i was a bit of a nerd and weren't as acquainted being older so i can't blame them!! lol#anyways long story short there's been an anime club they've been trying to kickstart for like the last... 3 years?#for the local middleschool/highschool except they haven't been able to find any way to get the word accross#and i was like neato; cool; i'd love to help with that!! and told them i'd make a poster for it real quick (still haven't. work is tomorrow#so they gave me the login to crunchyroll (my first time using it) and were like 'go find some anime that kids might like!!! :)'#and i was like '...WOAH.' and told them it'd take a second bc this area is VERY conservative and there's a bit of cultural dissonance when#it comes to 'kid-appropriate' between japan and the US; particularly with nudity lmao#and a lot of even what's popular among kids (Chainsaw man; Jujutsu Kaisen i think?) wouldn't fly but ouaahahhgh#it still has to be entertaining to them and not feel like it's being 'dumbed down' i have a couple ideas like sailor moon; uhh....#cardcaptor sakura?#but those are mostly shoujo anime which is good!! But i'd also like to include some shounen-type stuff as well for balance ofc#and that's where the problem arises 😭 i'd also love to take a look at older anime since i'm still figuring out what the 'goal' of the club#is besides just having a place for kids to interact and make friends with each other like#do i want it to be based in looking at the history of anime as an art form and its evolution? should it be like a book club and more focuse#on discussing character arcs and writing? or maybe even linguistically based since I did mention wanting to help inspire kids to take up#different languages!! and i know a lot would love to learn japanese#but yeah a lot to figure out 😭 i might be cooked chat
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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I'm trying to piece together my Rook's age + Viago's age + when Viago took him in + where Eight Little Talons fits in and man none of these numbers play nice with each other at all.
#like okay Cassian is somewhere in the 26-28 range#and he was like 10-13 when he got taken in by Viago#so that was 15+ years ago#but how old is Viago? Like 35? So he was 20ish maybe.#so the dude probably wasn't even a Talon yet. He might not have even been a full *Crow* yet#And then I have to consider whether Viago made House De Riva or if it was a House that he joined and became the Talon for through skill#And I have to remind myself that Teia and Viago weren't as close as they are now during 8LT so that changes their dynamic#if Teia is even involved at all with young Cassian#So like. I could make Cassian older when Viago took him in which would make it more recent but I don't love that#if anything I'd prefer if he was younger and like a legitimate little kid but that would really screw the numbers#I need a wall-sized dry erase board to try to make sense of all of this#Cassian being in his late 20s is important to me bc he winds up with Lucanis and I can't see Lucanis being with someone <25#especially if they're also Viago's protege bc he'd just get poisoned#but that means that for the timeline to make sense to me Cassian would be like 15 or 16 when Viago takes him in which could work#but removes some of the “this is a child what the fuck do I do with a child. Do you want a knife?” dynamic#and also Cassian is a mage so when does his magic come in?#screaming#datv#rook Cassian de riva
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When I was a young excited physics student I went down to my advisor and asked for a job in a lab. Those of you who are in the sciences may recognize this as exceedingly common, most schools with science departments will hire undergrads for their labs both to give the undergrads experience and to have someone comparatively cheap to do the least skilled labor in those labs.
For me, the lab I was sent to was one doing cool photonics projects and I was assigned to a guy who was doing the theoretical modeling for them and I got put on a side project for them to develop a method to double check their results using Monte Carlo simulations.
Put bluntly, I toiled away in the little cubicle they had me in for about half a year before I transferred to a different school without ever having produced anything of any particular value other than a Monte Carlo simulation whose temperature readings were not taking into account the existence of a heat sink and therefore got overwhelmed by thermal photons in a completely inaccurate and unhelpful way.
Ultimately, many tasks, farmed out like this in a speculative way to undergrads, fail, certainly it's not exceptional that mine did and I learned a lot about the process in the process, so it wasn't wasted time for me, but it produced absolutely nothing the lab could use to further its results.
This is where it turns from a little anecdote about my work history into a morality tale, because what I have thus far deliberately failed to tell you is that the lab I was assigned to is a provider of radar services to the US Military. Had I produced anything of any value whatsoever the work I did would have been used by the US military to help with its capacity to deliver bombs. This is, unfortunately, as those of you who are in the sciences may recognize, also exceedingly common. Luckily, and through no foresight or moral thinking of my own, simply the inexperience of youth, I produced nothing of value but view the path they tried to set me down as a grim warning of what might have been.
I'm not asking for forgiveness, the harm I might have done was not done by me, although I'm also sure was done without my help. They didn't need it to be me they just needed someone with basic calculus knowledge who wouldn't think too hard about the connection between the work and the world, and they were happy enough that particular warm body was me.
So this is my plea, if you're young and getting involved in the sciences because you're passionate about knowledge and understanding our place in the universe. When you go to get that job in that lab that's such a good stepping stone to the next thing you want to do, take a second and look into where that lab's funding is coming from. If it turns out it's the military, maybe then take another second and really deeply consider what kind of thing your work can be used to do and if you would like some of the most bloodthirsty people on the planet to be able to do that thing because of your help.
I got lucky that I didn't help, but I'm hoping that with this warning you might be able to not help on purpose which is a greater moral good than what I managed.
#IDK been thinking about this a lot recently for obvious reasons#I should've known better at the time too to be clear I was just blinded by excitement#If I'd stayed at that school and that lab and got to the level where I could contribute#They would have happily sent me to the Raytheon office down the street#Where I would've been well paid as my soul chipped away at itself#And I will never not resent the structure of the system that had that future in mind for me#I feel extra foolish for having nearly fallen for it considering my grandfather's history as a member of the Union of Concerned Scientists#Which is in part because he didn't talk much about that with us grandkids in large part because we weren't old enough early enough#There's a lot I wish he could've talked to me about now that I'm old enough to really understand it#But back to the point tell your advisor 'I'm not comfortable working in a military lab do you have any other options'#That's what I wish I'd said#Meanwhile my dad (the legend) claims to have cost the military millions of hours of productivity and credibly so
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[Video description: In Playstation 1 graphics, an old man walks onto a snowboard course with his walker. He clips the snowboard through his walker, holding it for a second, and blasts off into the sky. Electronic music plays throughout; the beat drops when he flies away.
/End description]
I beg my followers to check out Battle Tapes' music video for their song "Brand New" - since I figure most people don't click on Youtube links, I took the liberty of using some tools to clip just the beat drop.
The rest of the video is just as good as this.
Here's the link; it's inline instead of embedded because it's 3am and I'm paranoid that people on Tumblr go "ew an embedded Youtube link": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp6an4eVzP8
#battle tapes#battle tapes - brand new#you would definitely believe how much trouble I had with VLC getting this to clip correctly#once I tried getting a 3-second long clip and it kept getting it wrong even though I KNEW what timestamps I was hitting “record” on#thankfully this clip is longer and a little more flexible on what timestamps are fine to record and which ones completely miss the highligh#and the ending timestamp was just...right on. Right on.#anyway VLC doesn't know how to convert files for the casual user#I had to use a web-browser based thing to do it#the tools I used:#4K Video downloader Plus (free): to get the full Youtube video because VLC couldn't stream it from the link#VLC: to clip the video down to just 10-ish seconds#Free Convert (website): to convert from .asf to .mp4 because VLC couldn't do it for me#siiiiigggh anyway hope you all enjoy this beat drop#maybe it's just recency bias that makes me think this music video is so good#oddly enough getting that inline link to work also took some doing#it either didn't create a link or it automatically embedded; couldn't choose like I can with links to other sites#Opened up a new tab. Draft a new post with its own link. Turned to HTML editor. Copied and pasted it here in this post (also turned to HTML#editor) and then replaced the link reference and the text.#and strangely during that time period I tried using AO3 links which weren't embedding either.#Link that I ended up using to get an inline link was the link to download VLC which. ha. Been having trouble there as I've said in the post#oh and by the way: all links embed at first. But in the lower-right corner there's a little bubble you can click to turn it to inline.#but for some reason that doesn't work with youtube links#aaaaaanyway#I'm done. Finally.#music#videos runnerpost#has description
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Just watched "Fissure Quest". I'm IMPACTED.
I guess everyone who said me "calm down!" when we had the news of Lower Decks being cancelled OWES me one. One what? I don't know, but one anything, whatever.
Without spoilers, that's the power of a "light" series. Lower Decks mocks the limits of Star Trek, its tropes, stereotypes. Is it a perfect series? NO, I don't even like all its archs! But this power, this creativity, that's unique. The mixing of deeply sad and furiously comedic. I LOVE it.
#groundpear#text#star trek#lower decks#when a series is cancelled or saved#it's says a lot about which creative ways are more valued#and i'm not over the fact the narrative ways of “lower decks” weren't a priority#it's just a shame and it makes me sad#not only because i wanted to watch more of it#it makes me happy to think about all people working on this kind of art
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I realize I've been so flaky with responding to asks, finishing my drawings or fics I promised, etc. I've kind of been drifting in and out of tumblr without interacting much. Real life just finally started, and I need to build up a ton of motivation and find time before I can work on a fandom project. Just wanted to say that I'm still here and still working on stuff, just slowly.
#i'm speaking to a dead fandom but still lol. thought i'd disclose.#i've reached new levels of perfectionism with my art which prevents me from drawing or posting anything at all#and my writing has really changed in the last few years to the point where i don't feel a space for myself in fandom#not sure how to explain it i just don't feel like i really have a space on ao3 or tumblr or even discord. like i don't enjoy fandom -#- much anymore or any/all of the things that most people in the fandom enjoy.#not because of any drama or discourse that happened. i just genuinely feel like an outsider.#i'm still trying to get myself to write because i have so many unfinished projects i want to post#but at this point it's like. writing to a brick wall?#i don't want to be an author who stops posting because my works don't get enough interaction or whatever. the tog fandom -#- is in a quiet period. it's gonna happen. esp with the way fandom is nowadays.#so i don't want to do that to the people who actually read and love my work#i just want to express how hard it really is to keep writing when you 1) feel you don't belong in fandom / are an outsider#and 2) have next to no interaction on your works.#maybe it would be easier to write and post if my wips weren't all long. i think that's also part of it.#so to the people who actually reblog my art and take the time to comment on my fics: genuinely i appreciate you so so much.
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Indigenous Hawaiians really had a good system going: wake up reaaally early and do most of the days work while it's cool and by the time the sun was up and it got hot the work was done and you're free to surf and socialize. I wish the white people realized they themselves could work smarter and not harder and get time to relax. Instead of calling Hawaiians lazy (and being genocidal about it)
#Ik this happened in most if not all tropical regions that got colonized#they were so pissed that these 'lazy' people got all sorts of fruit and natural bounty 'handed to them'#when those indigenous people were just working before the colonizers woke up and felt no need to kill themselves in midday heat#Which is what's natural for an apex predator: lazing around#Like u see lions in big cuddle puddles during the hottest part of the day. And they have the privilege of laziness by being the top predato#Idk if lions have a specific time they hunt but ik they will hunt at night when people can't observe them#Also Europeans failed to recognize indigenous agriculture and the /purposeful / cultivation of helpful plants (done w/out clearing the land#And even if they were only foraging. Like. If you love the earth and care for it (and not clear it) the earth will love you back idk#Gah! It's just like we coulda eradicated capitalism in its cradle if Euroamericans werent so arrogant and sure their way of life was correc#Like what if they were explorers and not conquistadors and colonizers. And there was a true cultural exchange#Would it have been better if the Europeans never crossed the ocean (even if they weren't there to colonize)? yeah probably#Like while the disease thing wasn't on purpose (initially) Europeans did inadvertently kill a lot of people bc they had no immunity#But I also acknowledge the human desire to explore and see what's out there#But I wish it was like#Europeans: here's some horses and metal tools#Indigenous people: thanks. Here's a way of life more in harmony with nature and an understanding that we're part of the ecosystem#Europeans: oh cool let me bring these ideas back to Europe. Maybe we won't deforest all of England#(I say Europeans but eventually when Canada and America became independent entities they also were responsible for these things)#Capitalism#capitalism is hell#anti capitalism#Colonization#colonialism#colonial violence#Imperialism#conquistador#age of exploration#anti colonialism#anti colonization#hawaiʻi
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