#which is very much not pleasent

[moonpyr]

life update: i now have piercings after wanting them for so long, 3 of em actually

issue: in my joy of finally getting them i didn't consider my sleeping position, now i can not lay on either of my sides

[cosmik-homo]

I know Doctor who and accents and sociolinguistic identities and stuff are very delicate things and . etc etc Shot Dog disclaimer. But I do think a Kiwi accent master could change the game

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

Sat down to have a chat with my cousin before he flies home tomorrow to his wife, just cause I was anxious that she would try to twist it against me if she talked to him first, I explained my side of what the interaction was and the blatant lies she claimed, and he's not at all surprised and in fact is already planning on getting a paralegal when he gets home to start getting her the fuck out of his life

Me last night: hmm maybe I want another tattoo, I'm going to start talking to this artist *sends message*

My cousins wife: *sends an incredibly hostile message about how I've been ignoring her and she's gone above and beyond for me trying to be supportive of me, when in reality she hasn't texted me first since November and when I text her, she's very short with me and makes no effort to continue a conversation with me*

"Yeah hi, artist? Make that three tattoos"

[sol-consort]

I wonder how long it took for the first human/turian relationship to happen

Like which turian was like "damn it sucks about the relay- I mean first contact war but you're cute, your waist is supportive, do you wanna go out sometime?" And which human responded with "yes" embarrassingly quickly?

The first human/turian relationship (or human/alien for the matter) to happen undoubtedly occurred during the first contact war amidst the laser bullets, invasions, and warships.

As brutal as war tend to be, the people in it stay people. Capable of empathy, of love, of untimely attachments. You don't get to choose when your heart beats or for whom it does, you can try to deny your feelings but they'll always find their way out eventually.

Could be a guard/war prisoner situation

Could be two enemy soldiers stranded and forgotten by their unit, the forced proximity of a small space making them work together and cooperate

Could be two nobodies who were never really soldiers but civilians at the wrong time and place, who crossed paths and bonded over their shared experience

And that's just the "offical" relationship status, while the first instance of a human falling head over heels for a turian happened much earlier, even before the invention of galactic translators, back when turians were viewed as screeching space dinosaurs with a freaky exoskeleton.

Back when the first turian soldier was apprehended, the human whose mission was to escort it to a secure cell and wait until the scientists requested an examination.

Back when the human made the mistake of looking into the turian's eyes, an unspoken yet familiar feelings washing over you. You understood those primal emotions of fear, confusion, and deep betrayal swirling in those dark eyes.

And you couldn't help... but feel sorry for it.

You didn't even know its gender or name at the time. You couldn't understand a single word it said. But you treated it with gentlness all the same, despite all the things you heard about the cruel and brutal species it came from in the reports.

And it turn, the turian seemed... almost grateful for your consideration. Those werid metallic feathers on its head wouldn't puff out around you as much as it did when your superiors came to question it to no avail, the mandibles on its cheek would click in an almost pleasent rhyme as you adjusted the borderline-painful cuffs on its limbs, loosening them to a more comfortable degree.

What confused you the most was how surprised the turian themselves seemed to be at their bodily reactions. Or maybe it was that they were having those reactions around you—a fleshy creature with headfur belonging to a barbaric bloodthirsty species—that made his stomach sink in the first place.

He tries to treat you with some resemblance of dignity, the very same you've shown him. Never really screeching at you, more akin to a deep chirping or growl.

You're curious; you keep staring at different parts of him, and the white sclera of your eyes is making it extremely obvious. If he wasn't concerned for his life and possibly impending doom right now, he might have found it a little endearing.

You have a name... he thinks. The very same melody notes those other humans keep calling you by. He tries to mimick it at one point but can't seem to get the notes right, to add insult to injury, the sound that come out are so gurgled that you think he's choking for a second and rush to him with water, the sterilised kind. At least your species gauged the dextro structure of turian genetics by now.

He repeats his own name to you from time to time. Lucky for him, human seem to have an innate understanding when you want them to repeat a sound back to you. The more he makes the same noise for you in succession, the more inclined you are to mimick it back at him.

He's not sure why he does it... it's not like you'll know its meaning. But he can't deny how much he longs to leave you something to remember him by. This war can't last forever. Eventually, he'll be returned to his planet and unit, either by his species decimating your own or by the galactic council stepping in and doing their diplomacy magic. He was never one for politics.

But on the very off chance that both of you survive... that both of you get out of here alive. Maybe, just maybe you'll remember his name and seek him out. At the very least, he'd like to properly thank you for the small kindness you've shown him. Preferably when he's not in chains, and when you're not being scrutinised under your superiors' steel gaze for daring to show mercy to an alien.

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

The reason that Charlastor is so hated in the fandom is because the ship has much more chemistry than other Canon and Fanon ships and that makes people jealous

They just look visually pleasent to me that is scratch my brain in right way and steal the show when they are together on screen

Despite me liking Vaggie x Charlie i sadly don't see the same chemistry and visually satisfaction when they are together

The same with Lucifer and Alastor. I don't really see the chemistry between them from which the fandom is talking about

They really just fought with each other and that was

I usually like enemies to lovers but even for that there needs to be a bit of chemistry beforehand for me, it could be my generally dislike for R*dioapple but I just can't see the chemistry between them especially in comparison to Charlastor

I also don't really like that white from Lucifers design with the red of Alastor's because Lucifer looks washed out for the lacks of better words when he stands next to Alastor

This is also just how i see things but i am not an expert in color theory or character but Charlie's and Alastor's design just complete each other very well in my eyes

[themalhambird]

Considering Celebrimbor is the ONLY one of the main elves we never saw Adar interact with, my brain is doing a really good job of locking onto the idea of a Celebrimbor x Adar Political Marriage AU.

No, I don't know exactly how that would come about - something something elves and uruks united against The Shadowy Threat of Sauron whatever. Celebrimbor looks *hard* at Gil-galad when he asks if he would agree to it and is just...."If I say yes do you promise to give me Many Forge Supplies for a wedding present?"

Adar, for his part, isn't exactly interested in having a husband so much as the PRINCIPLE of it being openly acknowledged he's good enough for an Elf-Lord. Anyway they get married, discover over the course of the wedding dinner that they actually find each other interesting company, and proceed to have a cordial acquaintence with Adar staying at Eregion far more than he anticipated, like he'll stomp up to the forge with a really big sack over his shoulder and all the elves are eyeing him warily and he just dumps it at Celebrimbor's feet like: "here's a load of old and broken armour for you to play with only some of it was stolen directly from corpses" and Celebrimbor's all "Lovely now come and look at this, I've was thinking about the whole sunshine problem your children have and what started out as a thought exercise accidently became detailed schematics for enormous mobile rooftops you can extend before making camp so that the shade covers you even in daylight. "

Anyway. It takes them far too long to realise that they're actually into each other. Adar's letting Celibrimbor braid his hair and Celibrimbor's letting Adar make him go to bed if he's been working for too many hours straight and they're still referring to eachother as "possibly something of a friend" Eregion elves and the Uruks who set up base in Eregion's vicinity whenever Adar goes to see Celebrimbor are actually starting to interact with each other by virtue of having "how are they this oblivious about it?????" as a conversation starter.

Eventually Adar has an "oh no he's hot" moment and promptly flees Eregion because he's convinced Celebrimbor would be repulsed If he actually tried anything romantic and /or sexual. Celebrimbor is puzzled and hurt, but a stranger comes to Eregion and affords a little distraction.

This Annatar fellow is so very interested in the mithrael rings Celebrimbor made to reflect the light of the Valar, though Celebrimbor's not sure he follows his reasoning for sets to be made for either dwarves or men. Still, pleasent company. Until he starts suggesting that Gil-Galad debased Celebrimbor and his authority by forcing him into marriage with an orc, at which point Celebrimbor punches him in the face without thinking...

Merdarnia and the other smiths are very exasperated that "I think I'm in love with Adar" is somehow a bigger revelation to the Lord of Eregion than "I punched Annatar in the face and he turned out to be Sauron, he has now taken over the city and is holding us hostage."

[shini--chan]

Do you think which yandere is the most hard to deal for hetalia character?

That is actually a very difficult to answer, since I write them all as jerks in one way or another. That being said, there are several that are worse than the others.

Rome comes to mind, especially in his later days. With that I mean after the Republic and after the golden days of the Empire. Julius Caesar's bones have turned to dust and the brilliance of Augustus is all but faded. Nero and Calligula are the staples of the day. Power would be leaving Rome, with the government refusing to accept their own worthless coinage and people selling their children to get by. The elites would shut out the plight of the everyman with orgies and spectacles and games and Julius would be amongst them.

Amidst all the decadence and debauchery, having you as his little captive wouldn't stand out much. Indeed, he would have a bunch of people enabling and cheering and encouraging him. Perhaps they would push him to do all the more gruesome and outlandish things. You would stand in the middle of all the bloodshed and waste, and he would refuse to listen to you. Why should he? In which way could you possibly be better than him?

Somebody surprising would be Belgium. She would have her own attrocities under her belt and engaged in a fair bit of imperialism herself. Yet those days would be gone, and as a small and neutral country with little influence and even less of a presence on the international stage, many wouldn't see more to her than a pleasent face. Behind the shiny exteriour there would be horrors lying in wait, all wrapped in sweet and fluffy packaging.

Belatrix would succeed in putting horror in the mundane. Think of "The Stepford Wives" or "Jacob's Ladder". Everything would look normal from the outside, and she wouldn't let anybody pay more attention in order to realise the unsettling and the horrifying hidden in plain sight. As such, you would have great difficulty escaping her and finding help.

Another Hetalia character that definitly belongs on this short list would be America. The worst part of having to deal with Alfred would be having to deal with all the absolutist myths that he believes. That he would be a hero standing for freedom and justice and democracy, that he is the shining city on the hill illuminating the way forward for the rest of the world. The golden light of providence would shine upon him, and therefore all that stand against him are evil. These myths would form a corner stone of his personality, and as such, you wouldn't be able to shake him from them. And so, he would refuse to feel remorse and admit to any wrongs on his behalf.

Along the same vein, he would remain stuck in eternal adolescence where he would refuse to face the consequences of his actions and any wrong doing or bad outcomes would be the fault of somebody else. A quote from the Great Gatsby comes to mind:

“They were careless people ... – they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

[tribalauthor]

THE WISEWOMAN (roman reigns ff) <chapter 17>

⚠️ smut warning ⚠️

word count: 3.5K

Sophia's POV

"You are so fake for not telling us anything." Tiffany playfully scolded me as we were in the makeup room.

She was already dressed with her pink and blue gear while I am with red velvet strap dress above the knees, red glossy heels and black blazer with red flowers printed on it.

Now we are working on our makeup.

"We just wanted to be a surprise. Not even Jimmy and Solo knew." I said in my defence.

"And how is it? Do you spend time together?" Tiff asked curiously and I smiled.

"We do." I nodded my head. "He is an amazing man."

"Is he a romantic?"

"Yes." I applied some black pencil in my undereye in my waterline and Tiff squealed slightly.

"We always knew Roman is a hidden lover boy." she remarked.

"How are you with Ludwig?" I asked her.

"Normal. I wonder what he plans for us on Valentine's Day." she giggled with her wide beautiful smile. Tiffany is a really pretty woman.

"I am sure he would make a grand surprise for you." I said confidently. "How long is it that you've been with him?

"Two years." she said and I raised my eyebrows.

"Cheers to more years of you together. And I hope I am invited to the wedding."

"Definitely." she said surely.

When I got all ready for the show, Joe called me to go to the locker room but while I was on the way I bumped into Cody Rhodes.

"Miss Heyman. Hi. It's a pleasure to finally see you in person." he said while he reached his hand for a handshake. I eventually reached mine too and shook his hand hesitantly.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Rhodes." I said politely. He is a tall man and he is wearing a blue-gray suit which goes well with his icy blue eyes but I am really not sure about his hair, though.

"How is Paul?" he asked me.

"Beter but it will take time to recover fully so until then, Mr. Rhodes, you will have to deal with me." I said with a note of warning.

"Great. I mean as I learned you are very loved by the fans but even more loved within the male roster." he winked at me. "They all hated seeing your uncle coming but with you things are way more different now."

"Cute." I gave a simple reply with a tiny smile. "But how are they gonna feel now when they know they can't have me?" I asked with hoarse voice. "See you later, Mr. Rhodes."

I finally got into the room of the Bloodline.

"There you are." Joe said looking impatient but he suddenly changed the expression when he saw how I am dressed. "Ooh." he licked his lips.

Men are so easy, I swear to God.

I smirked and we crashed into each other's arms and exchanged few soft kisses.

"Wait, you are actually letting me kiss you before a show?" Joe was pleasently surprised because once I put my makeup on he is not allowed to touch me.

"Because I bought a new red lipstick that is smudge-proof, so you can kiss me all you want." I explained and he didn't wait for a second invitation.

He attacked my lips like a hungry person who sees a buffet table. As much of slow kissers we both are, right now there is a not so unexplainable lust between us.

My back was against the wall, my hands behind his back and my thigh in his one hand while the other was on my waist. Let's say we are practicing for later.

"I wonder what's underneath that dress." he whispered through the kissing.

"Guess you are gonna find this out later." I replied with heavy breaths.

As we moaned softly into each other's mouths I felt the temperature rising all over my body and explosion almost happened when I heard the door opening, seeing Jimmy, Solo...

...and the Rock.

I just had a look of horror and removed my leg from Joe's hand, fixed my hair a bit, pressing my lips and clearing my throat.

Poor way of trying to keep my cool and not seem awkward.

"If we got a little more late, who knows what would we have witnessed." Jimmy shook his head and I saw the Rock coming to us.

"So you are Sophia. The heart stealer of my cousin." the enormous man gave his hand for a handshake and I immediately shook it. He is very, very strong and buff.

About the same height as Joe. No wonder they are cousins.

"Nice to meet you, Dwayne." I greeted him. "Sorry you had to see-"

"I am a grown man, Soph. I understand my cousin the best." he spoke cheerfully. "My second wife is also 12 years younger than me."

Just like me and Joe. But will I be his second wife? We will see.

"Birmingham, Alabama." Roman growled into the mic after we did our long entrance. We payed attention to the details, too.

While my uncle walked slightly behind him with the title on his shoulders, I walked right next to Roman and he had the title on his own shoulder.

The crowd went crazy when they saw us together.

"First of all." Roman raised his index finger up. People are definitely expecting him to say "Acknowledge me" since I saw a lot of them raising the ones up but the Tribal Chief has different plans for tonight.

Instead, he turned to me and kissed me. Thank God, for that red Pat Mcgrath lipstick I just bought. I have to buy other colors as well because I know I won't be smudged at all.

Me and my boyfriend decided to include a little tongue this time and the crowd's yelling almost pierced my eardrums.

When we broke the kiss slowly, I touched my lips with my thumb.

"Second of all." he continued. "Acknowledge me." Roman growled and the crowd went crazy once again. Almost all of them were standing with their ones up in the sky.

"I'm gonna be honest. I saw a lot of people's reactions on the Internet after me and my Wise Woman exchanged a kiss." he spoke and he turned to me with a smile on his face, bringing memories when we lurked on the social medias. "Y'all seem to be surprised."

Crowd screamed "Yeah."

"Why? Isn't it perfectly clear that the Tribal Chief gets the best? The main events, the matches, the money, the title, yeah, that's right, Seth." he called out one of his biggest enemies in the business. "And of course, the best woman too." he pulled me by the waist closer to him. "Look at her. I bet you all men drooling over Sophia like crazy. I see yall well but if you want a woman like that, you gotta be the Tribal Chief first." Roman was speaking with those taunting tone with a note of childishness.

We made an eye contact before he smooched my lips once again and then let me go.

"I don't like doing recaps and all but I'm gonna address my little brother Seth Rollins. Everybody that faced you for your title which you claimed is the number one title, went through me first." he said and I exchanged some small talks with Jimmy in the meantime, agreeing.

"And failed miserably as we all saw." I added. "That's why they go for the second option. Just like men want the best woman for them, 10/10, self confidence, high standards and everything but since they can't pull her, they go for an easier option." I just made a real-life comparison which brought some serious reaction.

"Exactly." Roman agreed with me. "And he has the audacity to say he is the guy" he started laughing out loud and I chuckled as well. "He also claimed he is a workhorse but broke his back while trying to carry Raw." if Seth is watching all this, he is getting really mad right now. "And then he attacks my schedule." my boyfriend shook his head. "I work less than you, yes, actually I work like 10 times less than you...and I still make 10 times more than you." he yelled and the crowd laughed out loud. "I'm gonna ask yall, you want Seth Rollins money or Tribal Chief money?" he growled into the mic and everyone started chanting his name.

Not long after this they started screaming for Cody. Clearly, the crowd wants to see them two fight together again.

"So Cody, I'm not gonna beg you like the other guy. You either choose to be number two or you get your chance with number one again. It's your choice." Roman said with pure confidence and then licked his lips.

After Cody's music hit and did his patriotic entrance, he stepped into the ring and greeted the people that came here to see us. Everybody is really happy when they see him. I guess he has that effect on people. Cody has completely different type of aura than Roman and it's completely normal. They look different too.

My man gives off Aquaman while Cody is like Ken for some reason with just a little more dignity and smartness compared to the doll. Something I am never gonna confess in front of Joe is that Cody is the type of guy I would usually fall for. Something in him really reminds me of both of my ex-boyfriends and it doesn't have to do anything with the looks. The energy he radiates itself.

"I know what are we gonna talk about." Cody changed his catchphrase a bit. "First off, I have to congratulate our newest power couple in the company, ladies and gentlemen, Roman and Sophia."

The crowd started clapping.

"Look at them. She came here as a substitute special council but I start to think she came to find a substitute uncle." Cody said in a very witty tone and honestly I felt like laughing but I had to act angry, so did Roman. My boyfriend crossed his arms.

"Mr. Rhodes I profoundly appreciate your sense of humor but let's cut to the chase and discuss whether you are gonna fight for the Undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight title." I spoke in a formal tone. "Also, allow me to add that I have only one uncle and his name..." I looked at the crowd, waiting for them to scream with me "...is Paul Heyman." I accomplished the desired effect. Man, I gotta love the WWE Universe.

Roman just continued sitting with his big arms crossed and a smug expression on his face, flashing me with a proud smile then turning back to Cody.

"I took a great deal of counselling this week - from friends, family and legends about who I should face at Wrestlemania." Cody started speaking. "Last year, you cheated me." he meaning the Wrestlemania 39 match where everyone was convinced Cody is gonna be the new champion but my boyfriend proved him wrong.

Me and Roman just exchanged some funny side eyes from Cody's statement. He also talked about how he almost had him, that Seth made some great points besides calling the Undisputed title 'the Hollywood title' plus adding the fact that this is the championship that was taken away from his father. The blonde man also got in a heated monologue which is typical for me usually. He started doing some deep explanation of what does "finishing the story" mean and all that.

"I'm gonna take everything from you, Roman, until you are left with nothing." Cody made a promise. "Everything." he repeated and looked at me as well. I saw Roman starting to get heated up.

I just stood there with judgy expression on my face because I'm about to laugh and I need to keep my serious composure.

"I am coming for you, Roman Reigns." Cody slightly shouted and my boyfriend grinned at him then turned to me.

"Is this familiar to you?" he asked me off mic and I pressed my lips. Oh, he is so dirty-minded.

"But not at Wrestlemania." Cody added and suddenly we were all confused. Me and Roman exchanged some puzzled expressions.

"One of the people I took counselling from knows you very well." Cody spoke and suddenly it all became silent until a music hit.

And that music was the Rock's. Everybody went completely nuts hearing this and the crowd was screaming, making me think how much people are gonna talk about tonight's segment.

As The Rock stepped into the ring, he had an intense stare down with my boyfriend and it honestly brought some chills all over my body.

I am witnessing a historical moment right here. Wrestling fans have been dreaming about this for more than a decade and if this match happens, the stakes will go the highest they have ever been.

As for tonight we are getting just a face to face stare, however. Nothing else since the team wants to test the waters what the crowd is more open to and I think for now it's perfectly clear.

Joe invited me at his house for the night. The flight was a bit more than two hours so right now is around midnight already.

I came prepared with clothes and everything although he suggested it while we we were flying. You have to be prepared with this man because you don't know where he is taking you.

We got in the spacious living room. I really love the designing of this house - everything is literally black and white marble.

It kinda screams "Joe" really. Wow. He really has a good eye for things and is indeed a man of detail and I admire that about him so much.

"Anything for drink?" he asked me as he took my coat off leaving me with the dress only.

"As of now, no. Thank you." I responded and then he attacked my lips.

"You promised me something." he whispered through the kisses and then went to kiss my neck. His beard and tongue were sending tingles through my whole body.

"What?" I moaned.

"To show me your underwear." he replied and started licking my neck increasing the volume of my moans.

"Take off the dress and see for yourself." I instructed him seductively and after not even two seconds, he unzipped my dress and slid it off me.

Then I turned to face him. Red lace lingerie, no bra and the red high heels. Joe bit his lower lip so hard that it could bleed.

I saw a big bulge forming in his pants.

Is he getting an erection? I didn't do anything. How is that even possible?

"See what you do to me? See?" he said through his teeth and I sensed a nuance of embarrassment in his voice. "Almost 40-year old man acting like a teenager." he shook his head. "Give me a few minutes." he was about to leave, probably to go to the bathroom and handle all of this alone but I caught his arm to stop him.

We made an eye contact and I got on my knees, looking at him with doe eyes.

"You got a woman like me in front of you and you are gonna go to the bathroom to pleasure yourself?" I asked with a shocked tone and his mouth slightly dropped.

Then I dropped down his pants.

"Let me take care of it, okay?" I asked him and he seemed pretty convinced.

"You're not obligated to." he finally spoke and I slightly chuckled.

"I am not but I do feel a bit guilty." I smirked. "Didn't expect this reaction." I spoke frankly as I dropped down his boxers as well and now I am face-to-face with it.

Normal me would be scared but right now I feel excitement and adrenaline. Not gonna lie, I am feeling really, really horny lately.

Me and Joe haven't done any touching besides kisses for a whole week and now I start to understand. This man is really bringing out the tigress in me as my friends said and that tigress was deeply, deeply hidden in me.

Have I done blow jobs before? No. Never liked the idea of it and probably that's why I couldn't keep my relationships, who knows? All I know is that I gotta play with that thing like a lollipop now.

I think I can make it work.

Although I saw it being shiny from the pre-cum that was forming, I still gave wet kisses on the head, making it ever more wet.

My boyfriend let out a soft groan and I felt him grabbing my hair in a ponytail with one of his hands.

After that I started licking it slowly as if I just bought my favorite ice cream in the summer, not caring it can melt from the heat.

I looked up to him and I saw his eyes close shut, gritting his teeth, so I decided to go faster. After that I started sucking on it, not completely deepthroating yet since I fear that thing can literally choke me.

I gotta test the waters first.

I put it in my mouth like half of it and it was fine. Weird but fine. I felt like I have several marshmallows stuffed - it's wide and long.

"Mm babygirl, can you try a bit deeper, please?" Joe asked as he tried not to moan and just was breathing extra heavy. Of course, I listened to his polite request.

Fuck it.

I took the whole dick in my mouth and I felt it reaching my throat, almost choking me, tears forming in my eyes.

My boyfriend moaned. They love this shit way too much.

Before the gag reflex makes the things awkward, I started going up and down with my mouth on it. Still looking directly at him.

He had his head tilted back but suddenly, like a clockwork or more like cockwork in this case, he looked down at me with a look of deep pleasure, lust and acknowledgement even I would say.

"Soph." he breathed out as I slightly fastened the pace. I bet he goes crazy from my eye contact and the way I am devouring his dick. I go crazy too from the way he is saying my name, the way he looks at me, the way he still holds my hair to help me out.

"Soph." his breaths became even heavier which made me speculate he might finish but I actually don't want him to yet because I wanna play with it a little more.

I stopped the sucking process and started licking it again with a few soft kisses here and there. Moans started coming out from him. But those really, really desperate ones which you don't expect to hear from a man.

I swear to God, my red thong got soaking wet from the sound alone. I really just got an enormous and dominant man like him moaning like that.

"You sound just amazing." I purred and then sucked on it again and after a few movements, I felt him cum in my mouth.

He let out a loud groan of relief and I felt the warm liquid filling my mouth and soon throat as I swallowed it. It had an amazing and fresh taste, not very salty. I can't quite describe it but it's definitely good. I mean he's an athlete. Of course it's gonna be tasty.

"Sophia. You are dangerous." Joe concluded and I got up to kiss him. He wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Was it good?" I asked for a feedback.

"It was perfect." he furrowed his eyebrows slightly.

"I'd need a bit more practice with the adjustment and I would need to work on that gag reflex then it would be more than perfect." I spoke as if I'm a professional blowjob judge and he just shook his head.

"It's your first time with a size like this so it will get better and better but I honestly can't imagine it better than this." he seemed sincere and I am shocked because I have never done this before.

Well, guess it isn't so hard after all.

"Thank you." I kissed him. "Also, you are delicious." I whispered.

"I am trying, you know?" he grinned. "Now, babygirl." he slid his hands down from my waist to my butt, gripping it and I let out a gasp. "I want you to walk down to that beautiful black couch with your pretty heels, lay on it and spread those beautiful legs for me cause now is my turn for a midnight snack." Joe instructed me.

I turned around and started walking slowly to that couch, swaying my hips and my pilates butt slightly jiggling.

When I reached to the couch I took off my lacy lingerie leaving myself completely naked except the shoes and then I lied on it with my legs spread waiting for Joe to devour me.

His eyes darkened, almost becoming black and he slowly licked his lips before he attacked me like a beast attacks its prey.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

HIIIIIIIIII I LOVE YOUR WRITING🩷🩷🩷

anyways this is my first time so don’t bully me😭

Can i request hcs with a killer gn reader thats like kobeni from chainsaw man? Like they’re a wimp and a little bit of a crybaby but is good at killing and skilled with weapons specially a knife? You can choose any of the killers!

Have a splendid week and always stay hydrated!!🩷🩷🩷🫶🫶🫶

Don't worry i would never bully any of my dear readers <333

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

It honestly shocked Toby when he saw you fight for the first time

He always knew you as sort of a wimp, breaking down into nervous babbles and tears at the slightest hint of conflict

But here you are, almost completely unemotional, and beating these people senseless

It is only once you're done that you begin to panic, which takes Toby aback even more

Toby didn't even have to lift a finger on this mission, because you took care of it all, but now you're....crying??

He rushes to your side and kneels by you on the floor "w-woah hey, are you ok?" He asks

You only manage to get out nervous babbles, which only worries toby more

He ends up calling Tim (because while he may be an adult, he needs a more adultier adult in this situation)

Tim concludes that you're just having an anxiety attack and should be back to normal within a few hours

Tim ends up carrying you back to his car and lays you down in the back seat, while tony watches over you

Toby doesn't leave your side until he is sure that you're ok, and don't need him to comfort you any longer

And from that point on, he doesn't let you do anything that may push your anxious self over the edge

Eyeless Jack

You are one of Jacks most frequent visitors

He is always there, tending to your minor wounds while you panic and shake with fear

He doesn't talk to you much, since you are almost never in a state to talk

But the few experiences he's had with you have always been pleasent

You are always very kind, and he loves the fact that you have basic manners

He is almost never out on the battlefield himself, but he has heard rumor of your skill

Honestly, its one of those things hed have to see to believe

A shy, timid little thing like you?

Killing people?

Emotionlessly, no less?

Yeah, he just doesn't buy it, sorry

However if you were to show him your skill some day (wether that be through a creep videoing you, you training with him, etc) he would be thoroughly impressed

He just didn't expect something like that from you!

Jeff the killer

He's kind of mean to you <//3

Unless youre just really close, he won't go out of his way to be nice to you, even if you are sensitive

If you call him out for it he will say "what are you gonna do? Cry about it?"

And don't think he hasn't seen your meltdowns, because he definetly has

He's not a complete ass, so he won't poke much fun at you for those

Much....

However, if you were to show off your skill one day that would shut him up pretty good

Even if you broke down after the fact, he wouldn't pay much attention to that

He's still in shock from the coolness he just witnessed

From that day on he's a lot easier on you

He won't make fun of you for being sensetive, he will only make an annoyed sigh if you start getting emotional, and he'll help you out more around the manor if you need it

And if you get close to him he might even let you show him some knife techniques

Thats a big maybe though

Don't count on it

[asktheritochampion]

I don't know if you've been asked this before, but when rito eat fish or something, do you eat it in pieces or try to swallow it whole?

It depends on a variety of factors. For one, how big is the fish in question? A porgy I could easily swallow whole, however I'd certainly choke on a fully grown salmon.

Adult Rito can swallow food tyically about the side of our heads, due to extretching muscles in our throat sacks. However, you get very little flavour from swallowing a whole fish. It's useful if you need to eat quickly, but not particularily pleasent and can sometimes cause stomach cramping if your gizzard isn't regularily digesting large un-diced foods.

Primarily we cut our food into pieces similar to the way you Hyllians do, as it allows us to better enjoy the flavours before swallowing. Many Rito actually favour foods like soups and stews to solid foods because the full flavour profile can be enjoyed by we who do not chew - plus to many it is a comfort food, as it is remenicent of the way Rito are fed in the nest.

In short. I can swallow a whole live trout if I'm in a situation in which I have no cooking utinsils and am about to starve. However I'd much rather sit down and eat some butter-steeped Salmon Meunière with a knife and fork, maybe acompanied with a nice glass of white wine, like any civilised person.

[cryingpariah]

My One Piece Oc Jackie's opinions on people and organizations in OP

The Strawhats: she really likes them! Be able to visit them even if just for a moment make her work day infinitely better. She knows as a member of the press she has a duty to be unbiased buttt nobody actually follows that so it’s fine. Though she knows that the race to the top is anyone’s game, if she had a personal favourite that was no one’s business but hers.

The Heart Pirates: she can tell how much their captain distrusts her and she respects it in all honestly. He never turns her away anyhow so it’s never an issue and the crew has an infectious sense of humour and camaraderie. They crowd around her and ask for all the juicy gossip the Grandline and New World has to offer and she must say, they make a perfect audience.

The Kid Pirates: like Trafalgar Law, Eustass Captain Kid does not trust Jackie a bit but he also knows the weight of the power of information has so he plays nice. His new strategy lately trying to recruit her, he has found no current success on that front. His promises are many and varied: money (she had plenty of savings), protection (she was an excellent fighter thank you very much), incessant asks from their little winged pirate-to-be (tempting but Big News waits for no man, woman, or mink).

The Seven Warlords of the Sea: she thinks the the entire idea of the Warlord system is stupid and can be too easily taken advantage of by cruel and powerful pirates (and it was..twice). She also think the pirates who join are somewhat sellouts. Isn’t the whole appeal of being a pirate is playing by no one’s rules but your own? Choosing to join the Marines, even adjacently, feels like a cop out to her. The only exceptions in her eyes are Pirate Empress Boa Hancock and First Son of the Sea Jimbei since they so obviously joined to save their people.

(Her personal rankings go something like Jimbei, Boa, Mihawk, Crocodile, Gecko Moria, Donquixote Doflamingo.)

(Kuma remains unranked so far, something in her gut tells her there’s more than meets the eyes with the Tyrant.)

The Admirals: she understands for genuinely world ending threats they are a needed force but for anything below that feels like complete overkill. Whenever she’s at Marineford she usually gets dragged into doing some secretarial work for them which depending on who it is can range from an honestly pleasent interaction to her fantasizing about shoving his head through a electric meat grinder.

(Her ranking goes Fujitora, Kuzan, Kizaru, Akainu, and then Ryokugu.)

The Underworld: hates it and the overwhelming majority of people involved in it. To be fair there’s nothing to like about it anyway, it’s a swirling cesspool of the worst humanity has to offer (yes that includes her too). Other than her boss Stussy is the only one she can tolerate.

Big News Morgan: likes him because they’re so similar and hates him because they’re too similar. She’s grateful for him taking her in and she loves her job but she also knows he just kinda sucks?? As a person?? If she thinks about it too hard it makes her dizzy with indecision so she tries not to.

Red Haired Pirates: The weird drunk uncles of the sea, they loved snatching her hat away to ruffle her hair and asking her to join in on whatever merry pirate ditty they happened to be belting out, she declined and instead procured an instrument to jam along with. Shanks was easily one of the most convoluted individuals she’s ever met, she’s dying to know what makes him tick even though she knows he’ll never tell her. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Dark King Rayleigh + Former Empress Shakky: she’s in awe of them! She practically begs to hear his tales of his time as the right hand man to the King of the Pirates and her anecdotes as ruler of the Amazon Lily! Rayleigh usually acquiesces but occasionally he (and Shakky) like to tease her for her eagerness but she can’t help it!! They’re just so cool!!

Whitebeard Pirates: if she’s there, it’s always for a big order and a big order usually means either weapons restock or a party. The members of the Whitebeard pirates always seem worried about her, offering hot meals and checkups while she’s there and threatening to head up to the WE NEWS blimp whenever she complains about work. She doubles down, acts extremely cheery the next time she sets foot on the Moby Dick and it works…mostly. Edward Newgate, father to dozens of wayward souls can’t be tricked with a child’s lie.

Big Mom Pirates: she had the pleasure of meeting Charlotte Linlin shortly after being taken in so she got Mom mode for 2.5 years. The Charlottes have taken to her in all their years of business together and are delightful hosts when she visits. It probably helps that she shares a birthday with a Sweet Commander so they love to invite her to Whole Cake Island to celebrate together!

Beast Pirates: she actively has to be forced to go to Wano, the SMILE Fruits users give her the heebie jeebies! Not to mention once when discussing some newly produced and shipped North Blue scotch The King of Beasts had called for her and, while incredibly drunk, started rambling to her about his lack of willingness to live. It went on for a while before a Tobi Roppo member found them and escorted her out. Easily the longest 20 mins of her life…

Blackbeard Pirates: truly and wholly detests them, especially their captain. She keeps a calm and indifferent mask on when she has to interact with them but she refuses niceties. Teach is offended by this and loudly recalls memories of how sweet and accommodating she was back on the Moby Dick whenever she’s in earshot.

Cross Guild: the business model of placing bounties on Marines for even civilians to collect and then when said civilians are marked as criminals welcoming them into the group is ingenious! She’s surprised no one has thought of it before. The idea of Buggy being its head with Sir Crocodile and Dracule Mihawk acting as his wings is laughable. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that just happened! Now if she could only get 5 mins alone with the Genius Jester, she’s sure she can get the real story…

The Revolutionary Army: if she wasn’t very dedicated to her current job, she could definitely see herself as a member. Conflicts of interest to her lifestyle aside, she really wants them to succeed and is usually the one pushing for their stories to be the front page. If she ever spots some Revs on a mission she’ll, despite her curiosity, leave them to their work. And if a stray arrows happens to knock aside some marines and move some slaves away from a nearby explosion…well who’s to say it was her? Forgery is on the rise lately yknow? You can never be too sure…

[sherlock-is-ace]

Just some thoughts about DID Holmes in Sherlock & Co.

I need to preface this by saying I don't have DID, all I know about it is from reading and hearing people who do have DID talk about their experience. I can be wrong, I don't mean any harm by it and I encourage people to correct me (just please be kind).

Ok so in the Sherlock & Co. canon, Holmes has DID, amongst a variety of other things, which is a new and interesting thing to explore with this character. I'm not sure if we'll ever see it explored in the show, or if it'll just stay a part of a long list of what makes Sherlock neurodiverse. But I've been thinking about it and I'd like to dump my thoughts here.

I think it makes absolutely perfect sense for Sherlock Holmes to have DID. Even in the ACD canon, Holmes isn't known to have had a good childhood and a good relationship with his parents. Jeremy Brett liked to think Holmes didn't see his mother until he was like eight years old. Lots of neglect, coupled with the struggles of being a "difficult child" because of his perticular cocktail of disorders (ADHD, ASD, SPD, DMDD and ODD), is just the perfect recipe for repetitive childhood trauma that could very well develop into DID. There's no question in my mind that it was a good decision (at least an interesting one) to give Sherlock DID in this adaptation. And that got me thinking about how much he probably struggled with it.

I chose to believe that Sherlock achieved final fusion years before he met John. That's what makes the most sense to me. We know he's got official diagnoses for these things, so it would make sense to me that he got professional help for his DID as well. And based on his personality, and his need to be in control and know all the information available to him, I think final fusion would be the result he would have seeked, as opposed to functional multiplicity.

Now of course one can't logic their way out of neurodiversity, and one can't just logic their way into final fusion. But what works and doesn't work has to have some connection to the way someone is, and I think Sherlock Holmes would have worked his ass out in therapy to achieve final fusion because I think it would have been a horrible time for a man like him.

I'm thinking about how he would handle the amnesia (we know his views in memory and identity), the loss of control when a different alter fronted, the confusion of "waking up" in a completely different part of town, disassociating in the middle of important (or interesting) tasks, etc. etc. I also think that perhaps, his addiction could have been a result of a persecutor alter.

As someone who struggles with communication because of his autism, I think perhaps that could also affect Holmes' communication with his alters. I genuinely don't know if that could be a thing or not, I've never met anyone who had DID and autism so I'm not sure how correct that assumption is. But if that communication was also a struggle, it would explain why functional multiplicity wouldn't work as well.

And I don't know, perhaps we'll have more glimpses into Sherlock's past in the podcast, and we'll learn more about his DID diagnosis, perhaps he hasn't achieved final fusion, perhaps he very much still struggles with switches and memory loss. We don't know, but I do hope we get to explore it more! It ads a new layer of complexity to the character that we haven't seen in other adaptations, and I really love that!

We know that Sherlock Holmes is always neurodivergent, whether that is explicitly diagnosed in canon or not. The whole point of Sherlock Holmes as a character, from ACD canon to any modern version, is that he doesn't think like everyone else. That is literally the definition of neurodiversity. To take that away from Holmes is to destroy the character. But what this adaptation did, by giving a name to each and every trait of Holmes is very interesting and I hope they can handle it well! So far I've been very pleasently surprised by the way they have handled Sherlock's autism. It is very much a part of him and it informs his actions, but it is not all that he is. And maybe it's because Joel Emery's daughter is autistic so he has more knowledge about it than the other disorders, but I still hope we get to see more of that as well, especially Sherlock's DID.

Alright that's all kdjfhg

As I said, I don't have DID so take everything I said with a grain of salt. But if anyone has thoughts they'd like to share please come talk to me! :D And if anyone has DID and wants to share their thoughts about Sherlock & Co. thought the lense of someone with the disorder please do! I'd be very happy to read about it. (Also my ask is always open if anon is more comfy)

[a-minke-whales-tale]

Yesterday on the airplane I watched A Dolphin Tale, the story of winter the dolphin who lost her tail and they then made a prosthetic tail for her. First off between the movie and my minke mittens I was wearing it made for very whale feelings which was very pleasent and please I want the humans to throw me a fish while I am in the water so bad.

Ironically my family took me to see winter in the summer of 2020 maybe? I do not remember the year, but it was while I really couldnt walk well and always need two sticks to walk. But it was during CoVID and they only let a few people in at a time. But I was stuck out in the heat trying to stand for a long time and we had to leave before we got in because I was having problems. I didnt really understand what was going on at the time, it is unfortunate I didnt get to see her. Though there is a certain irony in how the movie talked about how she became a disabled icon and I didnt get to see her when visiting because of being disabled. It was unfortunate to learn she died in 2021, with the whale stuffs now and my continued walking struggles (though ironically but perhaps understandably I move great and much more naturally in the water) I think getting to see her would have been really quite impactful for me.

But the story is still a nice one and I should do more research into how her tail was made, as that is in essence what I have to do for myself, but for my whole body; not just my tail, but dorsal fin, flippers, my whole head and breathing apparatus, and probably skin as well. I do not know to what extent my body would revert if I stopped the meds, but I fear the humans may be right that I would only feel my body and the physical features wouldnt really change. It is at least something I need to consider. But seeing that they were able to make a prosthetic for her makes me feel better and more confident I could eventually make the necessary bits for myself so I can undo what the humans did and return to the water.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

How about dragonite? I know they are big and powerful. But their usually pleasent demeanor and high inteligence keeps that power in check, so would size be the only issue for the big orange softie?

While dragonites do score a D rank, you do have good instinct in pointing out that size is the biggest issue here. Although, their sheer power is certainly something to keep an eye on.

Dragonites are pretty big, needless to say. At seven feet tall, it certainly wouldn’t be impossible to keep a dragonite in your home (there’s human beings that tall, after all). But space isn’t the only issue when you get into a pokémon species this large: think about the food costs, the bed, the transportation, etc. They’re quite heavy too, at over 450 pounds! This size increases the their threat level significantly.

Thankfully, as you pointed out, dragonites are big orange softies. They are described in the pokédex as “kindhearted” (Ruby/Sapphire) and are known to fly over the sea to rescue people from drowning (Gold). That being said, very few humans have interacted with this species (Red/Blue, LeafGreen). They are theorized to live on an isolated island out at sea populated only by dragonites (Yellow, Crystal). At the very least, dragonites are not very used to living among humans Unfortunately, these pokémon are said to be as intelligent as humans (Red/Blue). This brings up some really difficult ethical questions about if it would be just to keep one as a pet in the same way that it would be unjust to keep a human as a pet. Perhaps they should be left to their own agency.

As previously mentioned, dragonites are immensely powerful pokémon. Despite their large build and relatively small wings, they can fly at pretty incomprehensible speeds. The pokédex claims that dragonites are capable of flying around the globe in just 16 hours (Emerald). Doing some pretty simple math, this means that dragonites could fly as fast as 1,556 miles per hour. While we must acknowledge that this is a vast oversimplification, because it is much more likely that it takes them some flight time to build up this speed, it is an indication of unbelievable strength that makes moves like Extreme Speed and Slam even more dangerous. Then you add in moves like Thunder Punch and Fire Punch, which present significant hazards, or high damage moves like Hurricane and Hyper Beam, and you have a pokémon with a truly startling ability to cause destruction. All that being said, they are usually quite calm. They are not, however, completely above having bad days: as the pokédex puts it, “incur the wrath of this… pokémon at your peril, because it will smash everything to smithereens before it’s satisfied” (Moon).

While dragonites are known for their kindhearted nature and intelligence, their size and innate power makes them a force of nature that should probably not be constrained to a human home. Add in the fact that they’re as intelligent as people, and you may have an ethical issue as well. I’m sure one would like to be your friend, though!

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕐𝕠𝕦𝕣 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕆𝕦𝕥 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @superstar-ethereal

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Play Your Heart Out Marching Parade - WxS!Hatsune Miku

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

WxS!Miku was your very dear friend! And also a bit of a high school crush... But how could anyone blame you?!! She was so full of enegy and passion! And on top of that, she was famous as school marching band's leader! Could you find anything bad about her? Some would say it's her being overally energetic but you didn't really saw it that way!

Today, you were sitting on a campus as marching band began it's show for oldest classes goodbye. You weren't in that group but you still sat there enjoying the music. You don't know how, but ever since Miku became the leader, you actually liked the marching band's music even more!

It was always so perfect~ Trumpet making you want to dance, cymbals giving you extra shot of motivation, drums silently embracing you and finally... Miku putting all instruments in one as she marched proudly as their leader while playing on a flute. It was easy to say she was the most energetic from all of them. Did that girl ever got tired? Most likely not... but isn't that precisely why you fell?

After quick show, it was headmaster's turn to speak. But you just bussied yourself with looking at Miku who couldn't even stand still for one second and kept jumping in place while looking around, as if searching for someone.

"(Who could she be looking for?)"

You tried following her gaze but eventually gave up when you saw her switching targets in light speed... that's untill her eyes fell on you! She immidietly waved at you and didn't even care to make it secret, definitely drawing a bit of attention as you waved back.

"(There they are!! Now it's time!)"

Once headmaster was done with main speech, Miku ran up on stage and was handed the mic as if everyone knew about her intentions...

"(I didn't knew she's gonna say a speech as well...)"

"I've prepared one more song! This time, it's meant for Y/N!!"

You felt like you could die here and now honestly... marching band performing a song written by Miku along for you?!! You don't know what's gonna kill you first... this girl, the attention she's drawing at you or anything else that awaits you with her...

But not leaving you much to think about she began another show with her band! But this time, much less performer, making her flute play way more evident. It was definitely a dancy song, just like she liked it... but you couldn't decline it also made your heart throb... Maybe it was for the fact you knew this was dedicated to you, but you genuinely found this song more than enjoyable!

"Y/N!"

You were once again woken up from your daydreaming by Miku reaching her hand out to you which you hesitantly took... not having much time to react - like always with her - you were pulled to her, her eyes sparkling as she looked at you hopeful.

"Please go on a date with me!"

"A-As in- You-"

You had to calm down and you knew it... you just didn't expect her to say it like that... heck you didn't expect her to say it at all!!! And the fact whole school was watching? It was making it worse... but you couldn't really decline...

"I'd.. be more than glad..."

You could see her eyes shine on million more ways before she brough flute back to her lips and began playing while marching away even more energetic if that was possible... her play now felt more like one of happy child but it still sounded pleasent to the ear.

You could see her hair wave around as she was now practically jumping around more than marching, but her play stayed professional.

"(This girl is impossible...)"

"(I did the impossible!!)"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[adobe-outdesign]

looking at the woodland color in neopets, I can safely say that my most favorite neopet in that color would be the techo. Which other neopet do you think fits that color if you don't mind me asking?

Woodland was released post-customization, but it shares one thing in common with some pre-conversion colours like Maraquan or mutant: the brush has a specific concept, but not any specific or consistent visuals. The amount of variation this brush has is truly insane; some pets are root vegetables, some are shrubs, some are wood carvings, some are tree-based, and some are oddly specific plants you've never even heard of before. Even color palettes, while mostly brown and green, can vary quite a lot.

Because the colour can vary so much, how good or how bad a pet looks in it is almost completely random and depends on both concept and execution. That said, as a whole I do like it as a colour a lot; it feels like it fills a specific niche and a large majority of the designs are pretty good. For example:

Favorite Species:

Techo: Not technically based on a plant at all (other than dried leaves), but instead several gecko species that disguise themselves as foliage, such as the satanic leaf-tailed gecko (yes, that is its real name):

Visually, the palette is monotone, but it does do a good job of using high contrast to break up the design. The leaves themselves are well integrated and feel natural to the design, and the tail's especially fun. Good stuff.

Grundo: This design is honestly incredibly simple compared to other woodland pets, but it works really well. Those ear stalks are just amazing and work perfectly with the Grundo's design, and the rest of the body is just a pleasent green and brown gradient with some leaf veins and a few extra leaves for support. Very nice.

Uni: This one goes in a very different direction than the browns and greens of most woodland pets, instead opting for a lovely off-white and pink palette. The cherry blossom mane and tail are somewhat detailed but not so much to feel overwhelming, and the little colorful accents around the hooves are a very nice touch. My only nitpick is that the extra blossoms at the tip of the horn are a bit too much.

BONUS: I covered this one in my Scorchio review so I'll keep this brief, but the woodland Scorchio is super nice. It's based on the very weird rainbow eucalyptus and shares a palette with that plant, using a black base with some pretty orange and green splotches. The on drawback is the out-of-place twig coming off the head.

Least favorite species:

Moehog: The only drawback to having so much individuality in a colour is that there's inevitably a few Neopets who get the short end of the stick. The Lutari and Poogle were also strong contenders for this spot, but ultimately I had to give the honor to the woodland Moehog for... just being really weird. The leaf mane and tail are perfect as are the wooden nose and ears, but as for the rest of the body, I'm... not even sure what's going on with. Is that supposed to be grass? If so, why it so flat, and why is it textured so strangely? Why does it have real tusks and eyes? Why does it keep the stripes on the back if they're barely visible? These questions and more will not be answered.