#☆humans

[sol-consort]

Humans having just discovered that the gaint metal tongs in space unlock fast travel through the galaxy: oh boy, can't wait to activate every mass relay we can find, whoever turned these off must be an idiot lol

Turians opening fire without warning at first sight of relay 314 glowing again:

[texaschainsawmascara]

links to the donations mentioned

https://unrwa.org/

https://www.instagram.com/gazamutualaid

https://campusbailfunds.com

[valtsv]

been thinking about fantasy/scifi rule systems and free will

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[inthereellife]

YALL! Our favorite Tumblr runner DID IT! He won gold!

If yall need a reminder Noah Lyles is this wonderful nerd

Noah Lyles won GOLD!

Noah Lyles is the Fastest Man!!!

[emerald-dragonflame]

I had a vision

[dreamdropsystem]

ya'll who's up for group meowing

[1-jar-of-stars]

On Friendship.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Back in 2017 I signed up for one of the Cards Against Humanity sillies and did their Cards Against Humanity Saves America. Basically they were like fuck Tr*mp and his border wall and used the funds from the campaign to buy land and to make all 150,000 contributors part owners of said land across the US/Mexico border.

It was fun and silly and I got a little certificate.

Today I got an email that Elon Musk illegally annexed that land for SpaceX and that CAH are suing him over it. So possibly I’ll get like $100 if they manage to win a lawsuit and stick it to Musk. It’s like even more bang for my original buck.

[schoolhater]

[cancatsdraw]

yeah i'm mad

[sol-consort]

Just imagining a ship getting its first human join the team and before the first month is over the most searched on the net:

>Human courting rituals

>>What the hell is kissing???

>>>Human kissing safe for [Species]?

>Things humans take as compliments

>>how to flirt with humans

>>>Human baring teeth not aggression?

>>>>Human "Smile"

>>>>>how to tell if Human is flirting with you

>>>>>Humans comparing hand sizes courting ritual??

>Human Porn

>>Can humans and [Species] have sex safely?

>>>Human heat cycles all year long?

>>>>Human × [Species] porn

Or something 💦

Here's what I imagine each of their "educational" search history to be. Slight smut ahead? Mostly fluff.

Turians

The explanation behind the phenomenon of an entire species being absolutely annoying and impossibly alluring

Do humans find sharp teeth attractive

Why is the human skin so soft

Are humans soft inside

How does a human feel inside

Human/Turian porn

Can a turian safely preform oral on a human

Are humans okay with bites and scratches in bed

Top 5 kinks for human

Define being "rough in bed" (Our definition of rough is their definition of vanilla)

Ask Blueddit (Turian reddit?) "Do you guys also get turned on when your human friends are being frustrating? Is this normal? Why do I want to fuck them after each argument?

Human nests?

Human "beds"

Are humans aware of their own scent?

What does it mean when a human touches your waist

Define human "hugging"

Is hugging a mating ritual?

Human waist pictures

No seriously how are humans so soft?

How to kiss a human without injuring their lips

Is turian cum really toxic to humans?

Blue Talon healthcare Inc. Interspecies relationships, human edition pamphlet free copy

Can human ears hear Turian's purring frequency

Do humans enjoy purring

"Purring extends the human lifespan" Myth or fact?

What are cats?

Humans are brainwashed by a small predetor and they are okay with it?

Videos of earth cats

How to adopt a cat

Cat care package for first time owners discount deals

Ask Blueddit "Humans keep asking to come back to my home when I mention having a cat, has it really been that easy all along?"

-

Asari

How do humans view asari

What traits do humans consider the most attractive in a partner

Are humans exclusively monogamous?

Prime locations to court a human

Nightclubs near me

Humans kissing

Humans kissing video

How to download a video online

Define milf

Humans are more attracted to people who already had kids?

Human preference for partners older than them

Human fur

Human "hair"

Different types of human hair

Is blue a natural hair colour in humans

Why do humans dye their hair

Do humans enjoy it when you play with their hair

What's a hairpulling kink

Humans are turned on by pain?

What are the humans opinions on using biotics in bed?

Is blue really the most common favourite colour for humans?

Blue sky - earth

A tourist's guide to visiting earth, when is the prime season?

Beach season?

Why do humans walk around in their underwear near the ocean?

Human swimsuits pictures

Sexy human bikinis

Asari bikinis?

-

Krogans

Human heat cycle duration

Humans can breed all year long?

Define human "breeding kink"

what's a creampie

what's a pie

Why do humans calls sexual acts by food names

Actual real cream pies

Pi (misspelled)

Why do humans call a mathematical ratio by sexual acts terms

Pies

Pie flavours

What's the best pie to order

Human bakeries near me

Are human bones sturdy?

Human body can handle the weight of a krogan?

How deadly is a bone fracture to humans

Human-krogan sexual positions

Do humans enjoy getting picked up

Do humans enjoy sitting in other's laps

Define "manhandling"

Humans are turned on by strength?

Do humans find krogans attractive

How to court a human

Humans courting gift ideas

Earth roses

What are dates

How to ask a human out on a date

Poem inspirations

Do humans still consider being serenaded a romantic gesture?

-

+ Bonus

Protheons (just Javik tbh)

What happened to the wolves humans were trying to befriend?

Dogs

Cute dog videos

Define "cute"

What do humans consider adorable

Are pathetic helpless things adorable?

Are humans aware of how adorable they look to the rest of the galaxy?

Why do humans interpret my flirting as insults?

How to convince the humans to touch them

Human intimacy and physical affection

Videos of humans cuddling

Are humans still obsessed with throwing round objects?

Define "sports"

Most popular human sports

Human sports lack of death?

Why are humans so fragile and primitive

If I throw a ball would a human attempt to catch it?

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

[rainia]

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.

[great-and-small]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.