cryingpariah

[cryingpariah]

Film Theory posted this on their Youtube community posts and I simply had to share and get your opinion on it since you’re like, the number 1 Dragons fan I know!

This is my fantasy football! Literally, there are fantasy creatures involved! So Imma give my thoughts about all of them and then divulge which I think deserves the top spot!

Toothless- My Unholy Offspring of Lightning and Death Itself Saylaaaaaaa!!! He's the whole package! Ferocious, sleek, adorable, expressive, watching the movie an drawing him over and over got me through middle school just like Dancing Toothless got me through the end of 2024! 10/10

*As a side-note, book Toothless is literally night and day from his movie counterpart. He's a tiny green dragon the size and asshole level of a housecat. Do NOT let his cuteness fool you, he will poop in your shoes and set your curtains ablaze while screaming for food.

Dragon (Shrek)- An absolute queen who munches short dictators and rides Donkeys. Want to know where she gets her lipstick 7/10

Mushu- I loved this guy so much as a kid I had a plushie of him and everything! Thought he was the pinnacle of funny animal sidekicks. Also even back then when I saw him shatter the Great Stone Dragon, I was like "holy shit, he killed that other dragon. He didn't come to life just like Mushu but he had the potential to, and now he's DEAD" 8/10

Figment- Adorable little champion of Imagination who charms me with his bright smile and his purplyness. Also every time I think of him I think of this Disney Dan short. 6.5/10 would share popcorn with him

Maleficent- Theeeee evil animated dragon of all time! Another dragon I had a plush of, her color palette inspired one of my oldest Ocs, and one of my fondest childhood memories was getting to see the animatronic dragon at the Fantasmic show in Disneyland. RIP Murphy, you went down in a blaze of glory. 10/10

Queen Narissa- I only saw Enchanted once and really only remember the dragon and the prince stabbing a bus he confused for a dragon. I like her crown frill, but other than that I don't really have much to say about her. 2/10

Falkor- Cuddly, wise, optimistic, oh so friend shaped and did I mention fluffy? I loooove dragons with fluff! "Never give up, and good luck will find you" has been in my heart for decades 8/10

Sisu- I like her design and rainwalking abilities more than I like her character and the movie she's attached to. 5/10

Smaug- While it pains me that he's not a quadrupedal dragon like the books, that is an absolute nitpick bc holy crap where do I even start? His presence, his straight-from the book dialogue, his molten eyes and serpentine movements, that booming yet growly voice. You won't find a more delightfully wicked creature 10/10

Red Death- A very effective antagonist for the first movie, even if she can't compete with the Green Death of the books who she's loosely based on. Still, she exudes ancient menace and if you look closely you can actually see details like chipped fangs and cataracts in her multiple eyes. Grannies gone wild! 8.5/10

Haku- I'll be honest, on my very first watch of Spirited Away I thought he was kind of boring but he grew on me very quickly. He's regal with such strong loyalty and I love how, even without knowledge of dragon mythology, you can still put together that he's a river spirit by watching his movements and the shimmering effect of his scales almost like light on the water. 9/10

Shenron- Not a huge Dragon Ball fan, but Shenron is so iconic it's hard for a dragon-lover like me to be awed by him. I even saw a giant inflatable sculpture of him during one of my trips to Comic Con! Still not sure what I would wish for if I got all the Dragon Balls. 🤔 7/10

Drogon- Balerion come again! One of the very few dragons that we get to see move through nearly every stage of life on screen. While I do think he hogs the spotlight from his brothers a little (Viserion and Rhaegal, you two were done so dirty and you deserved none of it 😭😭😭), he's still got so much presence and is such a beast that it's hard not to be awed every time he's on screen. Also a plushie of him is my icon, so how could I not love him? 10/10

Hungarian Horntail- Thought it was cool as a kid, but I don't touch anything Harry Potter-related with a ten foot pole so not gonna rate this one.

Elliot- Oddly enough despite never seeing Pete's Dragon, I've always liked Elliot. I think it's because I saw him a lot in the background of House of Mouse and thought "hey, that dragon looks really friend-shaped" 4/10 if we're talking about classic Elliot but 7/10 for the live action reboot bc his updated design is even cuddlier. And again, more representation for furry dragons!

Dragonite- Definitely not my personal favorite Dragon-type, that honor goes to Hydreigon. But how could you not love this guy? He's huggable and helpful and likes to deliver mail and help people lost at sea and he does this

7.7/10

So all in all, I'd have to give the Favorite Dragon pick to Toothless, but Maleficent, Drogon, Smaug, and Haku are close behind.

[cryingpariah]

Enough time has passed since I’ve finished the movie (1 hour-ish). It’s time to start declaring my agenda.

Same Person, Different Universe.

[cryingpariah]

[Rein and Mono touch down in Sabaody: Part 5]

*The trio make it to Shakky’s rip off bar*

Sol: Thank you very much for stopping by my fort Big Man, I needed to grab The Hacker. *Brandishing her battle axe*

Rein: Yeah, no problem. Say why are you using such a big weapon?

Sol: Because the plans I have need a weapon big enough to chop though even the thickest of skulls.

Mono: *Gently pokes Sol’s face* Hehe squishy.

Sol: TOUCH ME AGAIN AND YOU’LL LOSE THAT FINGER!!

Mono: *Pulling back her finger* Even her yelling is kinda cute.

Rein: Mono, stop antagonizing the dwarf.

Mono: Ok boss.

Rein: So Shakky, can you help us?

Shakky: Can I help find a ship coater? Well I am married to one but unfortunately I haven’t seen him in…6 months I think? I don’t remember.

Rein: So…

Shakky: So, you and your little trio are gonna have to either find my elusive husband or find another coater.

Mono: But wandering the Mangroves will leave us open to abduction.

Shakky: “Would have” left you open to abduction, but if this little lady is as serious as she says you should be safe Mono.

Sol: Don’t worry Fish Lady, a warrior protects anyone who can’t protect themselves. Despite how much you annoy me, I will keep you safe!!

Rein: Ok, that’s 1 thing down. Now all we need is some disguises, one for me so I don’t get recognized and captured by marine and one for Mono so she doesn’t end back up in the auction house.

Shakky: I have some old clothes that would probably fit you all, except for the Dwarf.

Rein: Than the dwarf will hide in Mono’s pocket. You’re ok with that right Sol?

Sol: That will do just fine Big Man.

*30 minutes later*

Rein: We look great, Heck this looks cooler than what I normally wear.

Mono: I like this hoodie but are you sure the dress hides my tail?

Shakky: Yes dear.

Mono: Sol? Are you ok in here? *Opens the shirt pocket on her hoodie*

Sol: A warrior is always ok, don’t mind me. Just remain vigilant.

*Mono slowly closes the shirt pocket*

Rein: Well, I guess this is goodbye Shakky. Thank you so much for everything you did but we need to enter the New World now, Fortune awaits!!

Shakky: Just be careful, The New World can be very cruel.

Sol: *From Mono’s shirt* I can be crueler!!

*Elsewhere on the Island*

Rein: how much for you to coat this boat in a bubble?

Coater: This Rowboat? Are you sure? I don’t think you’d be able to even go down with this?

Rein: Yes I’m sure, we’ll figure it out. Just coat it and if you make it quick I’ll throw in 2000 extra berries.

Coater: Deal.

Mono: Y’know, Sabaody isn’t so bad once you get a calm look at it.

*Explosion off in the distance*

Mono: Nevermind!!

Rein: What’s happening?

Coater: Seems like the marine are pulling in!!

Rein: THE TAXMEN!! THEY FOUND ME!!

Rein: you can have all 500,000 berries if you get this done now!

Coater: Right!!

[cryingpariah]

Bounty Poster: Pre-Time Skip

Name: Sol Nero

Gender: Female

Age: 20

Occupation: Fighter

Home Island: Dressrosa

Weapons: Human Double-Sided Battle Axe

Epithet: Tiny Beserker

Height: 7 inches tall

Race: Tontatta

Likes: Veggies, Meat, Training, Working out, Elbafian Culture, The Captain (But she won’t admit that), Spicy Chips, Blueberries, Booze, and Fighting.

Dislikes: Cooking, Being called Weak, Being called Cute, Rude People, and Raspberries (will still eat them but not a first choice).

Description: Sol is a Tontatta and quite above average height at 7 inches tall. She has deep red hair both on her head and tail. The hair on her head is very scraggly and dry but her tail is very fluffy and soft (despite its strength).

She wears a red coat with brass buttons that covers her down to her hips, she also wears green leggings with spirals that go up from the pant legs. She has a pair of brown boots with pink laces (it’s the little bit of girlish charm she gives herself).

She has a large and wide smile plastered across her face, showcasing her pearly white teeth. She is considered very muscular by Tontatta standards and is said to have a very pretty face.

Backstory: As a child, Sol would read books about the brave warriors of Elbaf and she would be enamored at the idea of being like them. She would dream of fighting giant serpents that wrap around the world or taming wolves that chase the sun and moon, this lead to her devoting herself to her training and dueling against anyone willing to fight her.

She was 14 when Doflamingo took over the Dressrosa and she and her family was put into servitude in the SMILE factory. They were given poor working conditions and were treated no better than slaves and this meant they often were hungry. One day when she was 17, Sol couldn’t handle the hunger anymore and ate a SMILE.

It twisted her face and gave her a huge smile on her face. Sol was horrified and angry at what the fruit had done to her but she could only laugh in response to how she was feeling. A year later on her 18th birthday, A fire broke out in the SMILE factory.

In the midst of the confusion, Sol escaped the factory and even managed to escape Dressrosa as a whole. As she journeyed away from the Island, she vowed that one day she would cave Doflamingo’s face in and free her people.

2 years later, She’s running around Sabaody picking fights with men 20x her size and winning. She would than rob them blind and use anything they had to her survival. She had developed a neat little fort in one hustle muscle mangrove tree and would retreat to it when outmatched.

Unfortunately during one of her rare times of relaxing, She was snatched up while smelling some very pretty flowers in a grove. Despite how strong she was, she couldn’t get out of the man’s grip because she couldn’t lift her arms.

That was how she ended up in the Human Auctioning House, almost being sold off for the big bucks. That is until a human man carrying a mermaid came running by.

[cryingpariah]

I will forever be profoundly unimpressed with people who take pride in their unkindness to others

[cryingpariah]

[Rein and Mono touch down in Sabaody: Part 4

Rein: So that’s the auction house, time to put my plan into action.

*Rein walks up to auction house and enters into the office*

Disco: Welcome to the Human Auctioning House, what can I do you for?

Rein: I’m here to drop off some merchandise

*The figure with a bag in their head screams but it is muffled by the bag over their head*

Disco: And what is this?

Rein: Female Human, About 19 years old.

Disco: Here’s your cut *He hands Rein 500,000 berries* now just enter that room over there and lock her up.

Rein: Thank you sir.

*Rein and the figure walk towards the storage room*

Rein: I knew learning a bit of ventriloquism would make me rich, nice work Dummy.

Dummy: (falsetto) No problem.

*Rein tosses away the dummy*

Rein: Now, where would they keep a mermaid?

???: Go down about 3 cells, she’ll be in a large plastic baggie filled with water.

Rein: Who said that?

???: I did.

*Rein looks over and sees the silver haired old man*

Rein: Wait a minute…do I know you somewhere?

???: Do I owe you money?

Rein: No, I don’t think so. I don’t forget people who owe me money.

???: Than I guess you don’t know me. Now go save your friend, buddy.

*Rein walks off and finds Mono in her baggie*

Mono: Boss!

Rein: (whispering) Not so loud! I’m here to get you out.

Mono: Please be careful, I don’t wanna blow up!

*Rein cuts open the baggie, spilling a bunch of water everywhere*

Rein: Now stay perfectly still. *Focusing hard* Lift up a little bit, Shimmy to the left and…Push down.

*The collar and shackles release*

Mono: Boss! *She quickly hugs Rein*

Rein: We’re not out of danger yet, let’s get the hell out of here.

*Rein tosses her over his shoulder as he begins to run out of the room until a little voice calls out*

???: Wait!! Take me with you!!

Mono: Who said that?

Rein: Who’s there?

???: Down here! On the bench!

*Rein looks down at the bench and sees a little creature completely enveloped by the collar*

Mono: What are you?

???: My name is Sol of the the Tontatta Tribe!! I’m a proud warrior but my captors caught me off guard while I was smelling a flower!!

Rein: Tontattas? You mean like Dwarves?

Sol: Yes, that’s correct.

Rein: Why should we take you with us?

Sol: I’ll be loyal too you on the conditions that you give me food, water, and shelter.

Mono: Come on Boss, she’s so cute. Can’t we bring her along?

Sol: I AM A MIGHTY WARRIOR!!

Rein: Fine, we’ll bring her along. I can see the use in her.

*Rein unlocks Sol’s shackles and Sol immediately jumps into his shirt pocket*

Rein: I’ll be your captain from now on, my name’s Rein but you can call me Boss or Captain or anything really.

Sol: I will call you Big Man.

Rein: Great. That’s 3 crew members now.

Mono: And one’s freaking adorable!!!

Sol: I AM A FIERCE FIGHTER!!

*Rein Carries both Mono and Sol out of the auction house, both avoiding gunfire and outpacing the slavers*

Rein: *Panting as he sits down against a hustle muscle mangrove* Anyone hurt?

Mono: I got grazed but it’s not that bad.

Sol: I am ok!! *Thumbs up*

Rein: Come on, we’re heading back to Shakky’s.

[cryingpariah]

Update to the update to the update

Wicked? 100/10, I’m mad about its treatment during award season all over again!

My poutine? 9.5/10 I would have rather had straight fries than crinkle cut but it was still bomb!

Hotel? Trivago.

[cryingpariah]

[Rein and Mono touch down in Sabaody: Part 3]

Shakky: Comfy?

Rein: *Taking a sip of hot tea* About as much as I can be since my crew mate is missing.

Shakky: She’s not exactly missing because I know for a fact where she probably is. *Sips her booze*

Rein: Where is she?! I need to get her back, she’s the one who pulls my boat.

Shakky: Easy now Tiger, I have to tell you what to expect at the auction house.

Rein: Ok, tell me what I should be wary of?

Shakky: First off, that place will be heavily guarded which means your best bet will probably need to be stealth.

Rein: Ok. Than what?

Shakky: If you somehow manage to get in, You’ll be faced with even more guards. If you can sneak past them, all you need is to find the storage room.

Rein: What’s in the storage room?

Shakky: The “items” up for auction, or the slaves, each one will be outfitted with a collar. The collar will explode if tampered with but it also has a warning.

Rein: What’s the warning?

Shakky: An increasingly faster clicking noise, one or two clicks is ok but if you hear it go “ClickClickClickClick” that’s grounds for an explosion.

Rein: So what should I do?

Shakky: First up, I can tell you’re a pretty sneaky guy. Bet you pulled a couple tricks before coming here right?

Rein: That is correct. While you were talking to me I stole the money out of your cash register, sorry about that let me just…

*He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a note that says “I know”*

Rein: H-How did you?

Shakky: I pulled a lot of tricks in my day too, still do actually. See your thievery leads me to believe you can pick locks, can you?

Rein: (blushing) W-Well I wouldn’t say I’m the best at it but Yeah.

Shakky: Try it out on that back door over there, If you can open it than you can open the locks on those collars.

*Rein attempts to pick the lock to no avail*

Shakky: Lift up a little bit *Takes a drag of her cigarette* Shimmy to the left and…Push down.

*Rein opens the door*

Shakky: You’re ready.

Rein: Am I?

Shakky: Ready as ever, you don’t have much time.

Rein: How do I get to the Auction house?

Shakky: Here’s a map young man.

*She hands Rein a map with a little circle on it*

Rein: (blushing) Um…I think I love you.

Shakky: That’s normal dear, but you don’t have the time.

Rein: Right! *He runs out the door* Thank you!!!

Shakky: That boy’s gonna be alright, I can just tell.

[cryingpariah]

Update to the update

GOT MY MOTHERFUCKING POUTINE AND NOW IM GONNA FORCE (not really) MY ENTIRE FAMILY TO WATCH WICKED I LOVE TODAY GUYS I REALLY DO!!!!!!

[cryingpariah]

being depressed as shit and in love will have u saying shit like "kill me. i want you to kill me. i want to die with you" and mean it in a romantic sexual context

[cryingpariah]

[Rein and Mono touch down in Sabaody: Part 2]

Rein: Give me back my friend!! *Bang Bang*

Slaver 1: Hey Boss, he’s chasing us and shooting at us. What should we do?

Boss: Split up, The fastest will take the girl and we’ll meet up at the auction house.

*The Slavers split up and one of them is carrying Mono, Rein chases after him but he’s slowly losing him*

Rein: (panting) Give me back my crew mate!! *He trips*

Mono: Boss!!

*Rein attempts to line up his shot but his pistol but it clicks*

Rein: Damn it! Empty! *Throws his head down*

*Mono and the Slaver disappear into the foliage of the Hustle Muscle Mangroves*

Rein: *Quickly standing back up and dusting off* How am I gonna find her? Damn it!

*Rein starts to cry*

???: Why the long face young man?

*Rein looks up, teary eyed, at the woman in front of him*

Rein: (crying) What’s it matter to you?

???: I like to help men down on their luck, That’s why I love my husband so much.

Rein: If you must know my only crew mate and currently only friend was kidnapped and I have no idea where she is?! *Wiping his tears from his face*

???: Come with me boy, I’ll help you make a plan at my bar.

Rein: *Sniffling* Thank you so much! Who are you miss?

???: You can call me Shakky dear.

Rein: Thank you Miss Shakky!

Shakky: Just Shakky is fine dear.

[cryingpariah]

So,,,,one piece x fortnite collab

[cryingpariah]

[Rein and Mono touch down in Sabaody: Part 1]

Rein: So this is the famous Sabaody Archipelago huh?

Mono: Y-Yeah. (Softly) It’s also famous for being full of Kidnappers, Slavers, Thieves, and pirates.

Rein: We fit 2 of those 4 descriptions Mono, let’s just find you a disguise.

Mono: I-I can’t go ashore!! They’ll take me!

Rein: *sigh* That’s a very real concern but I have an idea.

Mono: And that is?

Rein: You will disguise yourself as a normal human and at which point I will hold your hand for safety, does that work for you?

Mono: I-I guess. You can’t let go of me though!

Rein: *sigh* Fine, I promise not too let go. Now do you remember why we’re here?

*Mono takes Rein’s hand*

Mono: I-I believe you said we needed Crew Members.

Rein: That’s right! We need the best of the best if we’re gonna go to the other side of the Grand Line

Mono: Why are we even going over there anyways!!

Rein: Because, staying in paradise will only make us so much money but the New World is full of priceless treasures!! 💰 💰 🤩

*The duo walk the streets of Sabaody*

Mono: I’ve never seen all this stuff so close before.

Rein: Yeah, Lots of rich tourists or rich locals that are prime pickings. Though even I know we need to be careful, after all I know for a fact that Celestial Dragons like to wander these groves.

Mono: We’re not going to be shot right?

Rein: We’re gonna be fine, so long as we respect the Celestial Dragons authority and no one figures out what you are. Isn’t that right Mono?

Mono: That should be ok.

Rein: Now Mono, I’m going to let go of your hand for only a moment while I check out this fruit stand. Stay very close.

Mono: Right boss.

Rein: Hmm *inspecting a peach* Looks pretty good, how much?

Shopkeep: 6 berries

Rein: Hmm, Hey Mono how many peaches should I grab?

*silence*

Rein: Mono?

*Rein quickly looks around and sees a large man carrying Mono away*

Rein: How!? You were standing less than 2 feet away!!?

Mono: Help me boss!! I can’t wriggle free!!

Rein: Come back here!! *He draws his pistol and runs after them*

[cryingpariah]

Matt Colombo

[cryingpariah]

York chose the absolute worst time to kiss up to the World Government because the last thing they're going to do is let her laze about and stuff her face when there's a food shortage in Mariejois and Imu is backed into a corner with all these unprecedented challenges to their rule.

And because she's an android that doesn't explicitly require food, sleep, or using the bathroom to function and doesn't have six other Vegapunks to do all those things for anymore, Garling is having her work day and night on more Mother flame reactors and Pacifista upgrades with *checks notes* zero breaks.

The few times she whines about needing one, he simply glowers and tells her "Commoners work on empty stomachs every day. It's nothing special. You signed away your right to be a slothful waste of flesh and metal the moment you became the last Vegapunk. This is your existence now. I suggest you get used to it."

It’s noon. Atlas used to stomp around on a warpath around noon. But there was no sound to be heard…

Edison had the habit of misplacing his favourite cat and usually asked York to come assist in looking for her. No pet were allowed in her new lab…

Pythagoras held a lot of meetings and she used to fall asleep in every single one of them. She can’t remember what the last one was about…

Lilith always went to show off all her latest (destructive) gadgets and gizmos York first. She never realized one could miss the sound of doors being kicked open…

Shaka always made it a point to check everyone’s stations and status during the work day and would spend a little time shooting the breeze. York waited for the tell-tale knock at the door. It never came.

To miss, to yearn, to be so nostalgic, had becoming the one and only Vegapunk made her mortal in some way? It shouldn’t have, she was metallic not man…and this wasn’t sad either! This is just the price of progress! Everyone’s had to pay it! Stella always said…

Stella…Ah. Her head hurt. That was…new

[cryingpariah]

At a time when Eid al-Fitr comes to Muslims, which is a day of celebration, joy and happiness, when people wear their best clothes, go shopping and congratulate each other, in Gaza there is no source of joy, there are families who have been completely lost and no one can congratulate anyone, there is no joy, everything has become rubble, and at this time the shells and rockets are still raining down on us, leaving only death.

[cryingpariah]

Silly thought that occurred to me with the anime coming back (SO EXCITED!!)

The four Egghead Seraphim (Jimmy, Thea Jinta and Gryphon) acting feeling like they need to go do something soon but none of them can put their finger on what exactly it is. They’ve tried asking their friends/siblings but no one other than Bonney even knows what feeling they're talking about!

Even their parents are lost on the matter since none of them can put a name to what it is but it’s a thing and it feels important…

It's just this overwhelming urge for them to see each other again. Like they've been apart for... gosh, maybe six months? And for some reason they have this equally strong urge to kick the absolute shit out of York. They never did like her very much.

Unfortunately, since York is occupied elsewhere out of kicking distance (aka being made to work overtime on the Motherflame up in Mariejois with her new boss watching her out of the corner of his sunglass-shielded eye as he sharpens his sword), they'll have to find a more easily accessible substitute. In this case, a large sack of potatoes and a mop fashioned in a somewhat Yorkish state.

Jimmy and Jinta are initially unsure of this. Even if it's just a dummy, they don't much care for violence. Then Thea reminds them that York is the reason Jinta almost hurt Miss Nami and Bonney could have gotten killed by the government and the two boys atomize the fake York on the spot.

Beware the fury of gentle souls indeed.