cryingpariah

[cryingpariah]

Mimi: [Hmm…I have an idea]

Buggy: What is it?

*Mimi lifts her 2 fingers up at Buggy*

Buggy: Mimi…Mimi No!

*Mimi focuses her vision*

Buggy: Mimi!! If you do this I’m going to get pissed! 😡

*Mimi pops Buggy’s eyes open with blood pressure*

Cabaji: Holy Shit!!!

Mohji: *Vomiting*

Mr. 3: *passed out*

Buggy: Damn It Mimi!! Why’d you pop my eyes!!

*Buggy’s eyes reform*

Mimi: [Bored]

Buggy: Damn you. Though I will admit that was funny

They actually have an entire horror circus concept they’ve been cooking for years! Complete with a corn maze haunted by the spirits of deadly scarecrows, hyper-realistic monster face painting and a show-stopping finale where they chop up Buggy on a spinning wheel with a pentagon on it! They both think it’s awesome but their creative vision is hindered by weak stomachs of the crew so they’ve dropped it for the most part.

That doesn’t mean the need to perform for death defying, heart stuttering, pants pissing dies though! If anything its absence makes their hearts grow that much fonder, plus they were definitely persuading some of them…

Alvida smirked from her chair, watching the faces of her conscious crew-mates drop further as she spoke.

“I also thought it was funny.”

“I know right, we're hilarious and we're barely even trying!”

[Nice to know someone else has good taste.]

[cryingpariah]

Once a week, Crocodile will pile up some deer, boar, and especially sea king carcasses in front of the younger younger wans who are used to eating smaller portions of meat with the hair and bones removed. It weans them onto the dietary habits of adult wanis in the wild and makes for some effective stimulation.

Most of them spend that time nudging the cuts of meat in confusion or shake them about like toys until they finally realize "oh wait I can shred this into bite sized chunks!". Some of the less independent (spoiled) ones will look towards Crocodile and chuff as if they're saying "Baba, cut these tasty smelling hairy meat things up for us? Baba, please! We are but skin and bones! Why have you forsaken us, Baba?🥺🥺🥺"

[cryingpariah]

Mimeapple engaging in one of the most stereotypical pre-dating ship activities: accidentally falling asleep together all cuddled up!

Here’s how I think the other residents of the Cross Guild to seeing this sugary sweet and *gasp* public (since they’re on the couch) display:

The boys: Were previously running around but stopped upon seeing all the snoozing. Have Gabe and Gryphon have to stop Nemo from floating over and creating a cuddle pile. They fly off but note they should definitely included their auntie and uncle in their pillow fort endeavour.

Crocodile & Mihawk: Oh the second they see it they’re grinning like maniacs and dashing off to get their cameras, it’s blackmailing time! (Crocodile for all the teasing meanwhile Mihawk's trying to leverage his way to more control over the dinner menu).

Cabaji & Mohji: See those two cuddled up and begin silently SCREAMING! Mimeapple shippers to the core!! Or, more accurately, they love Mimi and if she likes that funky doctor man they’re all for it! Quietly back out of the room with humongous grins on their faces.

Alvida: Mild Mimeapple truther but she also thinks Marco is kind of a dork and is infecting her girl with it 😭😭. Still, she does her due diligence as a bestie by draping a blanket over the two (and snapping some pics should Mimi want some memories of the occasion) before walking out.

Mr 3: Does a double take. Is immediately worried Crocodile will blame this on him somehow (no he’s not scared of the sandman of course not-). Considers encasing them in a candle hut before deciding its every man for himself and running away making a tactical retreat from the situation.

Daz: Shockingly, a Mimeapple believer but he keeps it on the down low. Leaves the lovebirds be but lowers the light on his way out. Totally doesn’t take any pictures no sir

Buggy: Stops fully in his tracks and just stares before bursting into quiet snickers. These two workaholics were bound to crash sometime! He’s not fazed by the snuggling since it’s used quite liberally within the Buggy pirates. The only person that thinks to wake them up, witnesses all the awkward and flushed peeling off of each other and teases them good-naturedly for burning too much of the midnight oil.

MIMEAPPLE CUDDLES ARE HAPPENING, FOLKS, WE POPPIN' THE CHAMPAGNE TONIGHT! Very quietly so as not to disturb the beautiful moment!

Richie sees Cabaji and Mohji about to scream and slaps his big ole paws over their mouths to keep them from waking Mimi and Marco.

Mimi and Marco are gonna be so confused as to when they entered a wax cabana for a na-oh seas, did they fall asleep together? Holding HWANSD?!?! 🤯

Neither of them are going to be tired tonight. They've got much more pressing matters to attend to, like staring up at the ceiling and replaying that moment over and over.

[cryingpariah]

[Some Flirtation Attempts]

Sol: Ok…Ok you can do this, you’ve faced terrifying monsters in deadly combat…you can handle a simple crush.

*Sol runs up to Rein’s Leg and jumps onto his Shoulder*

Rein: *Looking up from his book* Oh hey Sunny. *He smiles at her*

Sol: H-Hello Big Man…nice weather we’re having right?

Rein: *looking out the window* We’re underwater?

Sol: Excuse me for a minute. *She chuckles as she hops off Rein’s shoulder and walks around a corner*

Sol: Aghh!!! What the hell!! Why did I say that!!!

*Meanwhile back over at Rein*

Rein: *looking out the window* It is actually some nice weather and calm seas. Very pretty. *He nods as he reads his book*

*2 hours later*

Sol: Ok, let’s try this again! I know exactly what I’m going to say, “Hey Big Man, Wanna Spar with me?”

*Sol walks into Rein’s Room and sees him sleeping on his bed*

Sol: Hmm…I shouldn’t wake him but I also really want to ask him!! Shikiki, what’s the harm?

*Sol jumps up onto the side of his bed and pokes at his arm*

Sol: Hey! Hey! Hey Big Man!

*Rein opens his eyes lazily*

Rein: (half awake) What?

Sol: I was wondering if…

*Rein sits up, revealing he’s shirtless*

Rein: Wondering if? *Rubbing his eyes*

Sol: *She looks up and down at him* (flustered) I-If you wanted to S-S-Spa-a-a…

Rein: Spa? You want me to Spa with you? Sure alright, I didn’t even know you liked that kinda thing.

Sol: *She Blushes Hard* Yes! Spa!! You should Spa with me!! (Uneasy) Shikiki…I mean what’s the worst that could happen?

*30 minutes later*

Rein: Are you ok? All I did was massage your back with two fingers? What was that high-pitched squeak sound?

Sol: (Internally) Why?! Why?! Why did I squeak when he touched me?!!! 😭 Now I look weird and weak!!!

Rein: Do you need Jolene? Are you hurt?

Sol: (softly) No, No I’m fine. You just uh…squeezed the air out of me!! Yeah, you pushed a little too hard! That’s all.

Rein: I’m sorry. Will you be alright?

Sol: (softly) Yeah…yeah I’ll be fine, just leave me alone.

*Rein leaves with the cucumbers still on his eyes*

Sol: *Banging her head* Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!! You’re supposed to be tougher than this!! 😣 I’m such an idiot!!

[cryingpariah]

Concept: Dragon hearing the voices of those who are praying to Amaru. Be it for rain during a drought, wind during the scorching heat or safe passage to the land of the dead.

The voices sound distant, like someone is calling to him from the end of a long echoey hall but he hears it all the same. It drives him..well not exactly crazy (no more than any other voice in his head at least) but it definitely makes him feel a LOT.

The voices of the dead always speak from beneath the water or the earth. The living who still remember the Rain God and His chimeric child… their voices carry with the wind.

Every cyclone, whirlwind, tornado, and hurricane Dragon brings into existence for battle or protection become holy things. They carry the prayers like debris ripped up from the ground, windrowing supply lines and slaver ships out of Mary Geoise and Sabaody until they’re little more than smears of flotsam across the waves.

It disturbs him.

What is he? Who is he?

Has he ever been him? Or has he only ever been providence?

Did he really choose to walk this path in life, or had it been chosen for him long before he understood what consequences were?

These thoughts, and whatever the wind carries with it… they keep him up at night.

He at least knows that if he’s doomed to lose his sense of self, the Amaru will fly to protect those who pray for rain, for a good harvest, for wisdom, for peaceful passage from one life to the next…

Even now, he can feel their draw on his soul like someone taking him by the hand and urging him to follow.

[cryingpariah]

sanji :]

[cryingpariah]

Sun Vs. Darkness

[cryingpariah]

From the makers of rats full of soup, I am pleased to bring you soup full of rat 🥫🐀

[cryingpariah]

[The Plan] (Special Guest Jackie!!! Brought to you by @cryingpariah)

Rein: Ok guys, Let’s go over The Plan.

*Rein rolls out a large map of Gran Tesoro*

Rein: *Pointing to a marked spot on the map* This is our main target, The Big Vault!! It’s the most heavily guarded area on the ship and locked up almost as tight as Impel Down.

Jolene: So how are we going to get in?

Rein: Simple…we’re going to walk in and take it. To be more exact, we will disguise ourselves as people who have access to the treasure vault such as; Security Guards, High Rollers, and drink staff.

Sol: It can’t be that easy. There’s no way it could.

Rein: You’re right, it can’t be that easy. The Big Vault is also a VIP Club for Gran Tesoro’s High Rollers and Gild Tesoro himself, so we need to infiltrate it at a time where he’s not in it and preferably not even on the ship.

Mono: Why should we wait for him to be off the ship?

Rein: Well…I had Jackie get me some information on this guy and apparently he’s got some heavy ties to both the Donquixote Family and his own crime family, they call him “The Monster of the New World”

Sol: (Angry) Donquixote Family!!? Shikikiki!! So this guy is working with the most evil person I personally know?

Rein: Not just working with, but allied with.

Sol: I’m gonna wring his stupid neck!!! Shikikiki!!

Rein: This ain’t a revenge trip, now let me get back on track. Gild Tesoro can control Gold itself thanks to his devil fruit abilities, this allows him to weaponize and manipulate gold in any way he pleases.

Jolene: So bad news?

Rein: Very Bad News. Anyways, Jackie told me about this meeting with all the Underworld’s biggest names…something something “tartarus”

Jackie: “The Tartarus Summit Meeting” to be exact.

Hati: Has she been here the whole time?

Rein: Again Hati, Talking over snails doesn’t mean someone is here.

Hati: Well has she been listening the whole time?

Rein: Yes. Jackie is the one supplying us information…for a price.

Mono: What’s the price?

Jackie: Each of you have to reveal something I can publish in the next WEJ, preferably something juicy. Each Question is 1 secret.

Jolene: Fair.

Rein: Back to the plan, Gild Tesoro has an almost psychic link to the gold he has touched and can control it from almost anywhere so long as he touched it…

Jackie: Unless the gold has been splashed with sea water. That will nullify his link to the gold and revert it to a state of normalcy.

Jolene: So…we need a couple super soakers?

Rein: Exactly. Anything that can get the gold wet, I say we do spray bottles because they’re lightweight and can spray a lot.

Mono: But how do we infiltrate Gran Tesoro?

Rein: I’ll explain it again, Wavey Jones will latch onto the underside of the Ship, at which point you, Jolene, and Hati will carry me and Sol to the surface. Once we surface, we’ll scale the side of the hull with suction cups until I’m fully out of the water, at which point I’ll fly us to the city.

Sol: And than it’s just disguises right?

Rein: Only for some of us, You will hide in the vents acting as our eyes in the sky and Hati will pretend to be Jolene’s dog.

Hati: Why do I have to pretend to be a dog?

Rein: It’s less conspicuous than a dog man walking around.

Hati: Fair.

Rein: Jolene will infiltrate the casino dressed as a rich baroness and you will use every trick in the book to ensure you win high enough to get into the VIP Club, Mono will pretend to be a mermaid waitress and those Waitresses have access to every body of water in the Ship (Aka, The VIP Club).

Mono: U-Um…a-aren’t those waitresses (whisper) scantily clad?

Rein: Very, you will not be wearing more than a simple bra on this mission.

Mono: Eek 😱!!! I can’t do it!! I can’t! It’s too embarrassing!!

Rein: Stick to the plan please Mono! Please I will give you 1 free favor for anything if you do this.

Mono: (huffy) Fine. *she puffs up her cheeks*

Rein: Getting back to the plan here, I will assume the role of security officer and sneak around behind what the public can see and sneak into the VIP Club. Since Sol will already be in the air vents, she can find the VIP Club on her own.

Sol: What if I get lost?

Rein: Trust Me, there’s no one better at vent mazes than you Sol. You’ve got this.

Sol: (blushing) Shikikiki!! You’re just saying that! But I’ll accept it.

Rein: Once all of us rendezvous in the Big Vault, I’ll jam the signal with a couple horned Den-Den Mushis, at which point we’ll subdue everyone inside and bust into the vault. Our Escape plan will be tossing the gold into the ocean below and flying off from Gran Tesoro!!

Jolene: Why would we go through all that trouble just to abandon the gold?

Rein: Who said anything about abandoning? Once we’re safely away from Gran Tesoro, we’ll come back and search the sea floor for the gold we dropped. It’s foolproof!!

Jackie: Or it’s made by a fool…but honestly it’s a solid plan. Can’t wait to report about it.

Rein: When is this meeting even?

Jackie: 4 days, miss your chance and you’re screwed. Now pay up!

Rein: *Sigh* I wear heart boxers when I sleep.

Jackie: Hahaha!! That’s hilarious!

*Sol gets a small nosebleed thinking about that*

Rein: 4 days guys, 4 days and the Silent Parliament Strikes. Let’s get that Jackpot!!

*The Crew Cheers*

Jackie: Seriously though, I wanna report on this first so expect some calls after it happens.

[cryingpariah]

most important part of the writing process actually is when you loop a single song on max volume and stare at the word document and imagine the characters doing things for 14 hours. this is known as getting in the zone

[cryingpariah]

maybe I was born in the right era after all….

[cryingpariah]

A very York song I’d say (with some forced Seraphim backup)

I love how out of context this sounds almost inspiring but then you remember the thing York's fighting for is the ability to sit on her ass all day and stuff her face. Which she was already doing anyway only this time she'll be recognized as part of the 1%

Side note, York probably has one of the more substances body counts of the series because she sent the Mother Flame sample to the Gorosei who used it to wipe Lulusia off the map and a bunch of other people probably died in the resulting sea quake.

Girl had blood on her hands way before she shot Shakka.

[cryingpariah]

Daily usopp doodles - day 16

[Image ID in alt text]

Today’s usopp offers your a flower :]

[cryingpariah]

Daily usopp doodles - day 16

[Image ID in alt text]

Today’s usopp offers your a flower :]

[cryingpariah]

either HE is a freak or he is calling YOU a freak. both are probably true.

kofi commissions

[cryingpariah]

[The Silent Parliament Forms to Swallow Gran Tesoro]

Rein: Listen Guys…I have an idea for a big job.

Mono: Boss!! We’re well above 100,000 berries, we don’t need to pull off a big job!

Rein: Oh Mono, always worried about the “We don’t need too” and never thinking “What if we did?”

Mono: What?

Rein: I’m saying…We Rob Gran Tesoro!!

Jolene: Gran Tesoro eh? Are you sure that’s a very good idea? That place has Iron Tight Security. We’d never be able to even get a glimpse of some of that gold.

Rein: But what if we did? What if we become those people who pulled off a masterful heist on the Largest Entertainment District in the World!!??

Sol: So how are we gonna do this, Guns Blazing? Cause I think I could handle a lot of the security on my own. *She looks at her axe and smiles wider*

Rein: No, we’re going to do this cleanly and efficiently. We get in, We grab the Gold, And than we leave after placing our calling card.

Hati: We have a calling card?

Rein: Our Jolly Roger!!

Hati: What’s a Jolly Roger?

Jolene: It’s a pirate flag, also we never used to have one.

Rein: I decided we probably should so after countless nights of mulling over the design, I came up with this.

*Rein holds up a black flag with a skull and crossbones, The Skull is plated with gold with diamonds for eyes and the bones are obscured partially by a wave design in the black fabric*

Jolene: Oh Sick! *She takes a swig of anti-freeze*

Rein: And our calling cards *He holds up a deck of cards, each with the Jolly Roger on them*

Sol: Let me see one.

*Rein crouches down and hands Sol a card which she inspects*

Sol: “Oh No! You’ve run afoul with the Shadow Thieves of the Sneak-Wave Pirates! Too Bad! Maybe you should’ve looked after your stuff better?!”…what’s this?

Rein: It’s called a taunt. It’s also what’s gonna make us a “brand”.

Mono: Why would we want to be a brand?

Rein: Cause unlike the Marines and World Government would like you to believe, People find pirates cool as hell. I know many people who buy unofficial pirate Merch, so my idea is we have a front guy sell our merch and we take in the profits of our coolness.

Hati: Who’s the front guy?

Rein: Anyone willing to work for a 1% profit off of our merch.

Jolene: So…basically any idiot who can run a stand?

Rein: *snapping his finger* Exactly! So who’s ready to go over the plan?

Jolene: 1 last question.

Rein: Shoot.

Jolene: How are we going to find Gran Tesoro? It’s always moving and never in one spot? You need a personal invitation from Gild Tesoro himself to find it.

Rein: Oh you mean this invitation? *He holds up a golden envelope*

Jolene: *She spits out her drink* How’d you get that?

Rein: Just a little phone call to our Journalist Friend, Jackie. She had some connections that were able to get their hands on one of these and with a little…palm greasing, I got it.

Jolene: So what are we gonna do?

Rein: We’re going to intercept the path of the ship and sneak aboard, we won’t go through the front because…we’re thieves and obviously we don’t take the front door.

Jolene: You really thought this through huh?

Rein: I’ve always been planning this. In fact, It’s been in the back of my head since I had first heard of it when I was 13. So who’s with me?

Mono: (nervously) I’ll do it Boss, I trust your plans.

Sol: Heh, if you put this much thought into it there’s no way we can lose. I’m in!! Shikiki

Hati: I’m always down to do whatever you guys do!! I’m in!!

Jolene: Screw it, I’m in!! Rayhahahahaha!! Let’s have a good time!!

Rein: Kohokokoko!! I dub our Heist Crew…”The Silent Parliament”

Jolene: “Silent Parliament”?

Rein: It’s the name for a group of Owls. I know none of you all are owls but since I’m the captain I say that’s our name.

Mono: I like the sound of the Silent Parliament, it makes us sound refined.

Sol: And mysterious. Shikikiki!!

[cryingpariah]

Sneak a kiss <3