#which is an option

[tommytomatoe]

i just realized that sam countryman cornbread eatin' collins has never said the token southern phrase "bless your heart" in an audio before... explain yourself erik.

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Me: Soft launching standing up

Everyone else: 👁️👄👁️💧

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[taylorftparamore]

actually for fusies, let’s make it a poll

original post for context:

[andstuffsketches]

[inkskinned]

okay i almost never address the very small amount of internet fame i have. and sometimes yes it sucks. people often repost my work, or clip it out of context, or flat-out steal it. but like it can be very funny. once a follower dm'd me to say a guy on hinge was pretending to be "inkskinned", and actually had even started his own insta. when she said "i've followed her for years i don't think you're her", he said - actually r.i.d is like seven people, we just made those initials up. (rude). when i found his insta and messaged him, he begged me to just lie and say he was r.i.d because "it's hard for men to date."

once someone said she should be allowed to plagiarize my work because she was a body-positive influencer and that if i "made a big deal" about this and "got her cancelled", i would be doing damage to my own community and i was never "actually" an ally.

i bear these things with the aura of a martyr, the way my catholic father raised me to. i message privately. i handle things quietly and quickly. i do not complain because i am very, very, very, very blessed and i know that. mercy and gentleness literally pour out of me every morning when i wake up, and then i have to mop the floors for how very Good i am.

however today is the first time i have ever had a very specific problem that neither requires me to correct this person nor throw them to the dogs but is somehow worse than years of hatemail, reddit thread death threats, and pinterest reposts:

someone quoted me and just got it, like, a little wrong.

[cephalopod-celabrator]

I like these polls and this concept even though it's been done so

[junaart]

(Too) Close.

[ilyberrymuch]

you can also put in the tags how old you were, again im nosy lol

[mashmouths]

does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do

[adobe-outdesign]

there was a period of time during the early days of Neopets wherein they would redesign an older pet. in order to pick a redesign they'd offer a poll with a few different options, like this:

but during 2001—2004 they would do polls with several completely normal, similar-looking options and then one (1) just completely messed up option that they never acknowledged or explained

my personal favorite was the Gelert one

[shaykai]

Still thinking about Gortash’s coronation and how smoothly he cuts a Durge off from their companions (and wishing we had a follow up with that)

The first words out of his mouth are that he cares about them- anybody else who remembers Durge has only distain for them, but not him- he’s happy to see them, he missed them, they’re his favorite assassin and he’s only glad to see them alive

And then he takes it a step further by providing insight into their past, something Ketheric refused to do for them- and Gortash isn’t dumb. He knows exactly how Durge’s companions will react, knows that he’s effectively outing Durge when he so easily could have pulled them to the side instead

And when their companions snap at them and refuse to look at them, Gortash is still smiling. Suddenly, he’s the nicest person in the room. Suddenly, everything is unstable and dangerous- but he likes you. He’s sitting there with open arms while the companions are rightfully so mad with Durge, but Gortash is more than happy to resume their alliance

He’s more than happy to be their sole source of comfort again, and isn’t he just so sweet for that?

[disgracefulthings]

How To Redeem a Shen Jiu

A Guide By A Prolific Fanfic Reader

Option 1: Give him a transmigrator brother

Shen Jiu: Now that I've found my long lost brother I no longer need to abuse my students

Shen Yuan: You need better coping habits

Option 2: Give him a transmigrator disciple

Shen Jiu: I've never cared for a male disciple and I'm not going to start now

Disciple Shen Yuan: That's what you think old man, be prepared to get morals!

Option 3: Give him a transmigrator son

Shen Jiu: This weirdly intelligent baby has helped me see the error of my ways

Baby Shen Yuan: I'm too young to be doing this shit

Option 4: Have him be a transmigrator's son

Baby Shen Jiu: If I had better hand-eye coordination I would strangle you in your sleep

Shen Yuan: System, is it wrong to shake a baby?

Option 5: Have him take over Shen Yuan's dead body

Shen Jiu: So I get a loving family that's also rich without facing the consequences of my actions?

Ghost Shen Yuan: Hell naw, your walking my ass straight into therapy

Option 6: Have Yue Qingyuan confess

Yue Qingyuan: I came back for you

Shen Jiu, about to get his limbs torn off by Bing-ge: It would've been nice to be told this YEARS AGO!

Option 7: Have him get together with Liu Qingge

Liu Qingge: Let's have hate sex so you don't abuse your students

Shen Jiu: We definitely won't develop feelings because of this

Option 8: Kill him off and have Shen Yuan fix his problems

Shen Jiu: This is my favorite option

Shen Yuan: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!!

[neo--queen--serenity]

Vox sure is the demon of broadcasting, huh