#which i know is a simple be urself concept

[7-oh-ta1]

Bro I was watching smth and it reminded me of a good part in pandora hearts so I got that shit out and now I'm surrounded by books becs this whole fuckin series is FIRREEEEE like the way it uses symbolism and metaphors to ask a question at the beginning, dissect it halfway thru, and then give it answer without ever feeling on the nose or feeling like they're holding your hand while also clearly communicating the themes likevRARAGDRWYQASHRARAGRWHHGHHHGG read these books

[honeytonedhottie]

your guide to effortless glamour⋆.ೃ࿔*:･✨

personal branding - what does glamor mean to YOU. what makes your sense of glamor different from everyone else’s. personal branding is all about individuality. when everyones idea of glamor is identical to each other’s, everyones personal charm dissipates, and "glamor" loses its meaning. thats why its important to not conform to EVERY little trend, or try and copy someone else’s personal brand.   

the difference with getting inspiration from someone and copying someone is simple. when ur inspired by someone, u can do something similar for personal branding, but the distinction between ur brand and INSPIRERS brand is very distinct. 

confidence - the most glamorous people are ALWAYS the most confident. the thing about confidence is that nobody can ACTUALLY determine whether or not its real. because of that it is so easy to fake confidence. fake it till u make it. its SUPER easy to create confidence because of this fact.  

my favorite way to work on my confidence is through self CONCEPT work. if ur a loa girlie then yk that self concept is the FOUNDATION for literally everything and i stress its importance relentlessly bcuz its JUST that important. im currently working on a big self concept post which is dropping soon, but for now i have lots of self concept posts already that u can reference if u dont know where to start.  

treatment - when ur working towards effortless glamor, ofc you’re gonna TREAT yourself as the glamorous individual you are. and what i mean by that is -> treating urself with nothing short of respect and LOVE. some ways to implement effortless glamor into ur life are...

giving urself compliments

AFFIRM TO URSELF (vaunt, and rampage and affirm about how much u love urself, even if u dont at the moment it WILL come into fruition)

self care - pamper urself just like u deserve. take care of ur skin, hair and nails. when u look good u FEEL good. treat urself like a princess, with the upmost care.

pampering yourself - be EXTRAAA and be meticulous. take impeccably good care of ur body and ur health. when ur taking care of urself like u should, you'll glow from the inside out. when u make it a habit to put time into yourself, your confidence AND glamorous energy will skyrocket.

other resources ; i'll add youtubers, and other blogs that i take inspo from for ✨glamor✨ and ofc an affirmations list.

@prissygrlsorority - one of the most GLAMOROUS blogs that i've seen yet. overall a rly good resource.

misstada - one of my favorite youtubers, glamorous makeup tutorials and vlogs.

AFFIRMATIONS - my whole entire existence is so effortlessly glamorous. im the embodiment of the word fabulous. i have fabulous hair, fabulous style, and of COURSE that fabulous smile. im a star.

all in all, KNOW who you are, and remind urself of that ✨ - honey

[cocoatonedcurls]

simplified manifestation 101 :))

hii! i thought I would post a beginner's guide to manifestation, for people who are still new to the idea of it/want a thorough, contextualised explanation 🤗

manifestation is not something people necessarily struggle with, however, grasping concepts about it and misconceptions surrounding it can make it a little difficult for those who are just starting out.

if I could simplify manifesting down to a single sentence, it would be:

"If you can believe it, you can have it."

it's really as simple as that, manifesting is all about believing 😇

I don't know if anyone else had this experience, but when I was a kid, around 7-12, I used to manifest without even knowing what it was; I would just believe that I was going to achieve something that was , there was no uncertainty about it, and then, I would! 🤩

(I manifested a spot in a competition abroad when I was 10 🫣)

Over time, as my confidence in myself faded, this occurrence would happen far less frequently which goes to show that its all about your confidence and belief 💥

This is gonna sound like something straight out of mlp 😭 but you just need to believe in urself and the universe will conform to allow everything you want to be yours 🙈

some basic guidelines

* CIRCUMSTANCE DOESN'T MATTER

no, it doesn't matter if you're trying to get an ex back, or win the lottery, or convince your parents (who've been putting it off) to get a dog. manifesting is taking your life into your own hands and controlling it. your life is a movie and you're the director of it.

now, majority of people get into manifesting when they are curious about manifesting SPs, but coincidentally, it is also the concept that people struggle with the most because of the concern of free will or circumstances, but really neither of those two things matter.

* DON'T GET AFFECTED BY THE 3D

the 4D is the dimension that allows you to live the life that you would live while having what you are manifesting. as long as you are aware of what you're manifesting, just visualise yourself living in this reality and feel all the emotions and fulfilment you would while living in that ideal reality, this will allow you to reach the state of having, which I will get onto later in the post

the 3D is the dimension you experience physically, but it does not get to dictate what is yours and what will be yours; that is what the 4D does, it controls the 3D, and lucky for you, you control the 4D!

if you're manifesting an SP and you see that person posting with another person of interest, don't start sulking and feeling sorry for yourself thinking that its over for you, that's shooting yourself in the foot. what you do is you think "that's cool, but they're happier with me", that way you're not getting affected by the 3d and conveying your message to the 4D, which will relay it back to the 3D, and then your 3D will conform to it.

* "EVERYONE IS YOU PUSHED OUT" & LAW OF ASSUMPTION

you see this saying, Everyone is You Pushed Out, a lot in the manifesting community, and it might seem like an intimidating concept but its something that you experience in your day to day life anyways 😦

for example, you know when you've heard something about someone which changes your perception of them, and suddenly their persona suddenly conforms to your changed perception? that's the law of EIYPO in action!

the Law of Assumption is essentially the same concept but in a more general state, like your life as a whole, eg. manifesting a better grade or job or paycheck 💸

however, the way I see it, the results of manifesting are the results of other people's actions. for example, if you're manifesting a better grade, you yourself are the person that your manifestations are affecting, you'll retain information better and apply your knowledge properly in a test; if you're manifesting a job, your manifestations are affecting the person who had the position before to move, and the person who is hiring to be inclined to hire you; and the same concept applies to when manifesting an SP, your manifestations are affecting your SP to have more positively correlated feelings towards you.

so you can use these concepts to help you in your manifestations, particularly in the SP context: if you believe that they are attracted to you, it'll only be a matter of time before they will be.

* THE STATE OF HAVING, NOT DESIRING

considering this is arguably one of the most important aspects of manifesting. it is what brings manifestations to fruition

in simple terms, there are two objective states of being when manifesting:

The state of having

The state of wanting

The state of having is what you experience when you allow yourself to live in the 4D (the 4th dimension, where your goals are reality) and feel the fulfilment that you would feel while living the life you are manifesting. Affirmations like "I am paid incredibly well", "That job is mine", "They are attracted to me" will help you in achieving this mindset. This feeling is your biggest helper when it comes to applying the Law of Assumption/EIYPO in practice! It is you knowing you have what you want and allowing the universe to do the rest for you.

The state of wanting is when you are stuck feeling like you still crave what you are manifesting, not feeling like it is secured in your possession. This can leave you plateaued and doubts can slow down your manifesting. Affirmations like "I will be paid well", "That job will be mine", "They will be attracted to me" pose the question 'WHEN?'

Now don't take this as a, "If I doubt, my manifestation won't come true" because we all have doubts, even the greatest manifesters, but what is important is that your doubts do not stop your state of having being affected. As long as in the 4D you know it is yours, the 3D will conform to make it yours.

Here's a quote that helps me acheive the state of having

"You want it so badly because you already have it in the future"

simplified tutorial :)

many people have the question, "how?"

there isn't any set way, but honestly, the state of having is the essence of manifesting, if you can remain in the state of having, you can achieve your goal.

now that isn't to say that if you're not in that state, thinking about it 24/7, your goal wont manifest, but rather, if in the background of your mind, you have a feeling of knowing it is yours and not panicking about it, it will happen.

if someone asks, "hey, what's your job?" you'd reply with your current job, but in your mind you'd know that your dream job was what you actually worked as. this example highlights the difference between the 3D and the 4D and how not to let your 3D affect your state while still living in the 4D.

techniques like robotic affirmations, visualising and different manifestation methods (3,6,9 method, letter method, etc.) can help you reach the state of having and manifesting. there are so many different techniques you can find!

it really all comes down to how I described manifesting earlier, believing it is achieving it.

hopefully this was helpful for you whether you're completely new to manifesting or you just wanted some clarification and concepts :))

- li 🌘

[sehodreams]

I'M NOT OFFICIALLY SAYING I'LL WRITE FOR ZB1 BUT I TALKED ABOUT THIS WITH MY GF IN MY OTHER ACCOUNT AND THOUGHT THAT MAYBE THERE COULD BE A ZEROSE HERE THAT COULD LIKE THE CONCEPT TOO.

ask: being too big to touch urself on ur own so he has to help you and you can’t get off by urself anymore

TW and Tags: dubcon, fingering, squirt, drunk sex, a touch of exhibitionism, spying, skirt fetish(?), pervert!coworker!hanbin x chubby!reader

Coworker!Hanbin eyeing you for a long time because you, his chubby teammate, are always smiling around even when everyone is having a hard time keeping up with the workload.

He respects you a lot because you're smart, kind, and are always helping around when nobody else wants, reason why he can't understand why some people don't treat you better simply because of how you look.

You, realizing it, stop wearing your pretty outfits at work, choosing a more "modest" wardrobe so you don't hear those comments again, shocking him because he never realized how much he liked to see your plump ass and thick legs with them.

Without being able to contain himself, he jerks off to the memory of you wearing a particular skirt that he really likes to see you in. It's simple, black, and you wear it with black stockings too. He's seen that outfit a thousand times, yet he can't stop thinking it's the hottest thing ever just because you were the one wearing it.

He starts to get impatient because he needs to see you wearing that skirt again. Looking at your ass when you bend down to lift things is not enough. He misses the way your stockings became transparent in the highest part of your thighs, and you look great with those pants, but there's nothing like your skirts.

Hanbin does his best to catch a glimpse of something new that excites him exactly like your skirts did. He pays attention to your chest pushing the buttons of your blouses, and the curve of your back, with the hope of feeling the same emotion. Sadly, he can't get the same satisfaction at all (but don't get fooled, he gets hard with the mere sight of you, it's just that nothing makes him cum like your chubby legs and how they look enormous in skirts).

Not much later, thank God because he's having a harder time containing himself with each day that goes by, the office decides to make a two-day one-night trip to appease the people that have been complaining at work. He doesn't feel like spending his weekend with people from the office, and only decides to go after you've said that you'd go too, praying deep inside that you go wearing a skirt again.

You do, and, thanking the universe, he spends the whole first day stuck to your side, helping you with kitchen duty and even acting bold enough to walk with a hand in the small of your back when you two get lost from the group.

At night, when everyone is drunk and most of them are already in their rooms sleeping, you two stay in the open talking about work and drinking. You don't really notice how many shots he's pouring you, or how your drink has more alcohol than what a usual cocktail has, so you keep drinking, laughing at the stories Hanbin tells you, and answering his questions. It's all innocent, until there's a particular moment in which you're too fucking drunk to stop yourself from blabbering, and you don't know how the topic changed to it, but you reveal that you haven't been able to cum in a long time because your tummy and your pussy lips are too much of an obstacle for your hand, which can never do much after arriving exhausted because of the busy schedule at work.

The words that come out of your mouth make him the hardest he's ever been in weeks, thinking how he'd gladly give you a hand. Without noticing, one of his hands is already caressing your knee, murmuring a "poor girl" with those rosy cheeks and his usual smile nowhere to be found. You, not understanding much of what's happening, or the place you're at, only nod.

"I know!" you cry, and open your legs when his hand trails up until it arrives to the border of your skirt.

"I could help you, you know" he offers.

"Uhm?" It's the only thing that comes from your mouth, and he doesn't wait for an answer before his wrist is against the pouch of your tummy and his palm against your clothed pussy.

"i'll help you" he groans, pressing his hand harder, stealing a surprised whimper from you because of how good it felt.

It doesn't take long until he has you over the table, plastic cups on the grass and some spilt drinks making a mess under you, but that's the least of the things that he could care for when he has your fat pussy in front of him.

"Bin- fuck, please, please" you beg. You're delirious, only thinking about the pressure of your abdomen and his slender fingers being perfect for you.

Your skirt is all up, your stockings are ripped and your panties to the side. With one hand he pushes the amplitude of your tummy, using his thumb and index to maintain your heavy lips open so they don't interrupt his job while his other hand is doing its best fucking your gummy walls and then circling your puffy clit, taking turns with his attention, making you cry of how good he's touching you.

"i'll make you cum baby, don't worry, leave it to me" he says, feeling your juices dripping to his wrist with how messy you are. You had no idea you could get that wet, never having dripped to that point on your own. All he can notice is how your poor pussy has been so unattended it's practically begging for his cock, and he's dying to give it to you, but the way you're melting from only his fingers is making him dizzy, and with all the alcohol over his head, he doesn't stop until you're coming in front of his eyes, leaking down a heavy stream of your orgasm.

That alone is enough to make him shudder and spurt inside his underwear. He groans, feeling his cum smearing against his skin, and kisses you, tasting the alcohol in your system and the salty rest of your tears. He only talks when you've regained some of your consciousness, "wear skirts at work again, and I'll help you every day."

[tosye]

// rant incoming, probs gonna delete later

i think you all know my stance on tracing

so seeing one of my fave ever artists whose sense of anatomy I’ve always admired post a wip that’s not only being traced but being traced over like a physical 3d model/puppet so the anatomy is kinda correct but the.. meat isn’t really there and so it’s wonky and apparently they don’t actually have any good sense of anatomy and turns out that all of their previous pieces are very likely traced too is… discouraging?? heartbreaking?? I really don’t like to get up in ppls business and tend to stop myself whenever thoughts like that start to form in my head but this one.. i mean I’ve looked up to them for the longest time?? and now this?? and seeing ppl not say shit abt it bc they’re really big?? I mean 70k on main on twt type big?? I mean at least acknowledge that you’ve been tracing this whole time bc clearly some ppl are more okay with that than others so it isn’t that big of a deal….

[iheartthesmithsblog]

some of my new manifesting “techniques” 🦥

( I WROTE EVERYTHING OUT ONCE THEN ACCIDENTALLY CLOSED THE APP AND LOST IT ALMOST CRIED SO HERE I AM RE WRITING EVERYTHING.)

now these are just some things that i added to my new routine to help me in my journey that helps ME personally if you like anything i list in the post you are more then welcome to add it to your own routine our switch it up a bit to your liking :) now to the post we go

💟 : manifesting something new each week.

so for this what i am gonna do is target something each week to get by the end of the week (friday) for example. say i wanted to manifest finding 20 dollars on the sidewalk on friday ill assume/affirm, “on friday i will find 20 dollars on the side walk” “on friday when i go outside i will find 20 dollars”. this will help keep manifesting fun and keep it from turning into feeling like a chore & it will boost my faith in the LOA and my faith in my power.

💟: manifesting something labeled “small” for me everyday.

by this i mean something smaller to me, because i know labeling your desires “big” and “small” can be harmful i simply mean things that arent as big, important or exciting as me manifesting my desired face. now for example say for today i wanna manifest seeing a rainbow colored car ill affirm “i just saw a rainbow colored car pass by” , “subconscious i command you to show me a rainbow colored car” etc. this ties in with keeping manifesting fun and also boosting my faith in the law and my own power.

💟: not writing out my desires/affirmations

now not everyone needs to do this as i used to write out my desires and affirmations almost everyone does i just want to stop doing this because i realize how much stress,doubts, and overcomplicating the LOA i do when i do this. instead i’ll simply just write out self concept affirmations and thats it, for any of my desires like df or db ill just affirm i have that when im in the mood to or when i want to saturate my mind OR if i think of it. writing out my desires or affirmations on a list makes it feel like im doing this as a chore or im in a lack of want by writing out everything and opening it everyday to read it. so by not doing this it can help me get into a state or knowing or a state of wish fulfilled easier.

💟: sticking to the basics and only using subliminals, affirmations,sats, and a mental diet.

if you dont know what subliminals are they’re just videos with hidden affirmations with music layered on top so you cant hear them, i only wanna stick with three things affirmations, subliminals and ONE AND ONLY METHOD sats. i want to do this because it keeps manifesting simple and not me doing 293893 methods to “try” and manifest my desires. and by sticking to the basics i mean simply remembering this picture which simplifies manifesting. and lastly a mental diet which is literally just flipping any and every thought u can and making them into thoughts that work in your favor its that simple it can be difficult at first to watch ur thoughts not at all times just when needed and instantly changing an unfavorable thought into a good one can be tricky but all you have to do is persist and you will not regret it

now here are just some things im gonna be doing to my routine to help me with my journey. these are the things ik will help me stay on track and actually keep me persisting, on track and not giving up until i get what i want. if you like anything i said once again dont be shy to add it to your routine. make your journey fun take care of urself just because you can get anything you want dont stop taking care of urself do ur makeup, even if ur manifesting clear skin do ur skin care BUT only if you want to because it will make you feel good not because you feel like you have to change the 3d. do things that will keep you in a good mood because even tho high vibrations and good moods aren’t needed for the law of assumption its better to have a higher self concept to help you manifest more easy rather then having a low self concept and just make manifesting more difficult for you, so make a routine , go shopping, get that job DO things that will make you feel happy dont do things because you feel like you have the change ur 3d no let your 4d and the law handle that :))

[anyonghalimaw]

vic can you help me out I wanna read more scps and you're the scp guy do you happen to know any that aren't super paranoia inducing like shit w break-ins or kidnapping or stalking etc that's the biggest reason I don't read them T_T SORRY if this is like weird to send through an ask it felt rude to ping you KDBFKDNDKD

oh u have no idea what floodgates u just opened ^_^ behold one of my longest google docs

sd lockes 001 proposal (when day breaks) - hinges on body horror and the concept of the inescapability of its danger. love love love the atmosphere this fucking article did something to me when i was 15

2316 (field trip) - this ones a classic and recently blew up with that bodies in the water meme that apparently happened on tiktok ? i dont fucking know anything that happens on that fucking site. godless land that it is. anyway if u have issues with unreality idont recommend this one coz its very dependent on the whole "lel can u trust ur memories :)" thing BUT if u do read it. my only note is to remember to check the sites source code when u finish it ^_^

not a seagulls 001 proposal (the sky above the port) - made as a contest entry and written in just 24 hours! i wont go into it coz le spoilers but keep in mind that the theme of the contest is "it was all a dream"

2521 (●●|●●●●●|●●|●) - idk if this one counts under kidnapping coz its not like . irl human kidnapping but its more like candlejack mechanics ? but its one of the most clever articles ive ever seen coz it was made for a contest in which the goal was to use the least amnt of words possible, which it very quickly won by having a grand old total of Zero Fucking Words. the presentation of the article ties into the actual in-universe mechanics of the scp itself!

4999 (someone to watch over us) - this one isnt scary either but this shit unironically made me cry it has done unspeakable things to my mind

2264 (in the court of alagadda) - not that scary honestly but idont give a shit i love it coz ALAGADDA BABYYYYYYY visualizing the city itself based on the written descriptions is very entertaining. its the culmination of the hints of worldbuilding set up in 701 so i recommend reading that one first

2935 (o, death) - yay exploration logs all my homies love exploration logs. anyway this one is less . of being Directly Scary and most of the horror lies in the implications of whats going on. i hate thinking abt this one coz the concept at its center is scary help

5031 (yet another muder monster) - a commentary on Ye Olden Times when every scp was OUGH SCARY MURDER CREATURE RAURGH and everything was keter class for no reason coz people kept thinking keter = Most Dangerous Ever LOL this one is very very sweet and makes me feel the full range of emotion possible

4182 (there is no site-5) - AN EXPLORATION OF THE EFFECTS OF MASS CRUELTY! particularly if those effects manifest in an anomalous manner oopsie ! its got a lot of blacked out data but its not overused in an annoying way the blacked out letters r meant to be part of a puzzle that U Urself will piece together. i do wonder what happened to site-5 :)

5140 (everest) - i like this one because the vague nature of it leads u to wonder whether theres actual physical fuckery going on or just mental fuckery where the ppl there Think physical fuckery is going on. it feels very small scale surprisingly its a simple concept executed well! gives me older series vibes

1342 (to the makers of music) - oh boy oh geez a space travel based one. i wonder how Tumblr User tychomagneticanomaly1, known fan of space odyssey and interstellar who grew up on carl sagans cosmos will feel about this one! yea this one makes me very fucking emotional its an oldie but a goodie and makes me cry

[neotrances]

I just want to say that I love every single drop of parousia lore (esp stuff related to the mechanics of how your world operates/the religion and various gods of the story) and I was wondering what helps you come up w the ideas & details for the story I started writing down stuff for a comic I want to draw & uve been a huge inspiration for me bc of ur in depth anecdotes of parousia along w ur accompanying art rlly scratches the fantasy world itch in my brain that I want to do the same vibe as u

thanku!!! it’s a bit hard to put into words bc i’ve been “working” on parousia since middle school and it is essentially an entire religion that happens to have story plot on the side, gonna put the rest under a read more !

my best advice would to keep notes / songs / images that relate to what you’re making and how it ties into ur world, it’s a bit hard to help bc i’m not sure what ur comic is about but for example relating to parousia id just ask myself simple questions as if i’m already in that world, what is common belief? where is the nearest store? do i have to make my own clothes / food? is it normal to use money in this world? what does average transportation look like? is their a explanation for why the sun and moon exist in this world? do people in this world know why waves rise and crash? parousia for me is also the result of my psychosis and id often “go” there during delusions but it helps a whole lot to try and mentally put urself inside ur world and basically get rid of any preconceived ideas u have, try to make urself a blank slate! that and also think about how u want others to CONSIME ur comic, usually people make things and cant control how ppl take them in but if u think of how someone (fandom brained ppl) would approach ur content u can usually get flaws out before they become “fanon”, i want others to see parousia as a slightly off putting tale about abuse and the power of community and self sacrifice, and my main character syr has to grapple with the cards he’s been dealt and address his own cold tendencies as he unlearns what his abusive father instilled in him, for an outsider they might label syrs character as a “innocent cinnamon roll” or something to that effect, which would deeply bother me bc that is not who he is and is not the point of his character, he is supposed to represent actively working to being a better person and putting in the work to be kinder to others, he isn’t 100% innocent and he isn’t naturally pure person whose never done any wrong, but if i don’t drive that concept in thru my story people could very very easily misinterpret him and those are the kinds of things you should watch out for, u don’t want to preach thru ur characters obviously but you SHOULD make them speak for themselves and show clearly how they operate / leave little room for misconception, um anyways this is long but yeah !

[reidsconverse]

how would spencer act when you’re on your period bc i just got mine and these cramps are the worst they’ve ever been and idk why but i want to stab myself bc it hurts so bad

hey bestie! im not sure when you sent this but I hope you're no longer on ur period and feel great!!

i’ve does this concept a few times now so i’ll keep this kinda short n sweet. 

spencer would be the absolute sweetest but also a little oblivious?? like he's so smart but also has no brain cells whatsoever. so he’d probably take a hot minute to figure out why you were kinds cranky or wincing in pain, he’s like “whats hurting you?” and you're like “nothing it fine.” but he’s persistent and keeps asking and eventually you’re like “im on my period”  and he’s like “oh...😳” and he tries to wrack his brain for what he knows about the menstrual cycle (that's definitely what he calls it btw) and is like ok i’ll be back. 

meanwhile, you're sat there in pain thinking you’ve somehow weirded him out (nothing weird about periods they're just the absolute worst) and so ur like kinda mad at urself but also at him bc ??//// what kind of a response is “i’ll be back” so anyway, you fall asleep on the couch or something and when you wake up you’re somehow in your bed with spencers arm wrapped around you and you're like uhhh????? 

and he slowly wakes up and is like hi 😃and ur like hey??? 🤨and he gets up and brings you a hot water bottle, placing it on your sore tummy and hands you some painkillers before lifting a glass of water to your lips, he watches as you swallow the pills and is like “you can take another two in four hours, I have a reminder set” he then lifts up a bag full of other essentials like pads, tampons and chocolates (idk i crave it sooo much when I'm on mine) and you’re like “Spencer.. thank you but I don't need 12 different types of pads.” and he’s like “I didn’t know which one you used so I got them all.” anyway I just think he's super sweet in simple ways... likes he’s kind of a dummy but he's got a big heart. 

[katsurolle]

when someone leaves out their phone and someone steals it, it's the robbers fault but when someone posts art and it get stolen, it's the artists fault???????

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[revasserium]

You made me get back into reading so I could expand my vocabulary. I ordered a shit ton of Stephen King books and edgar Allen poe poetry

oMG YES okay so here’s the thing about stephen king -- i had avoided his books for suCH a long time bc i am BAD with horror. i am SO bad with scary things like hp and the sorcerer’s stone freaked me out at the end -- ur lying to urslf if u didn’t cry as a child when voldy came outta that guyS HEAD. WTF  

bUT. then i read “it” as research cause my work had commissioned me to write something horror adjacent. AND GOSH IF I DIDN’T FALL IN LOVE. king is SUCh a master of suspense. so GOOD with language and building ATMOSPHERE. i mean -- 

Come on back and we’ll see if you remember the simplest thing of all – how it is to be children, secure in belief and thus afraid of the dark.

Calling it a simple schoolgirl crush was like saying a Rolls-Royce was a vehicle with four wheels, something like a hay-wagon. She did not giggle wildly and blush when she saw him, nor did she chalk his name on trees or write it on the walls of the Kissing Bridge. She simply lived with his face in her heart all the time, a kind of sweet, hurtful ache. She would have died for him.. (BRO WHAT THEFUCK ) 

No good friends, no bad friends; only people you want, need to be with. People who build their houses in your heart.

A child blind from birth doesn't even know he's blind until someone tells him. Even then he has only the most academic idea of what blindness is; only the formerly sighted have a real grip on the thing. Ben Hanscom had no sense of being lonely because he had never been anything but. If the condition had been new, or more localized, he might have understood, but loneliness both encompassed his life and overreached it. (like oh my GOD WHAT THE FUCK HOW -- did he explain the concept of this guy’s loneliness sO perfeclty -- so aptly that you can’t help but feel sorry for him but not like SORRY sorry for him just a kind of accepted melancholy--) 

i’ve since fallen DEEPLY in love with king’s writing. and yes, i am LATE to the proverbial party but the beautiful thing about written word is that it is WRITTEN. and thus. the party is ALWAYS raging. and it doesn’t matter if you show up the day it’s published or 400 years later, you’ll still be able to savor the wine and enjoy the food just as freshly as the day it was written. 

nOW for poe -- MMFPH if poe ain’t one of my favorite writers of all time and yES i know i have a lot of favorite writers of all time but it’s like best friend ship -- it’s not a person, it’s a TIER. 

poe is also one of those masters of horror, bc he writes it so that it creeps up on you, the concept of a heartbeat beneath the floorboards isn’t TERRIFYING. but then it’s dark, and late and you’re alone in bed. and what if there were a heartbeat beneath your floorboards? what. IF. 

also. just a master of language: 

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before (can we taLK about how “silken sad uncertain” just soundS SO GOOD to READ ALOUD im MAD ABOUT IT ) 

But we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me. (this poem taught me what seraphs meant and i have never looked bac since) 

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; (find urself someone who writes poems for you like poe does for this dead chick tbh) 

anyway you GET THE POINT. i love them both a lot and i am utterly THRILLED ur reading both sdlkfjaosihg im SO excited for you. PLEASE do send me things you think as you go along on this fantastical journey. i am HERE for you to ramble to if you need to cause GOD knows that’s all i do with my literature friends haha 

[bigowlenergy]

Notes on Gender, Ethnicity, and Culture

At the heart of the etoneki conflict/drama is nothing more than culture clash.

Eto may be amazing at studying others and have replicated humanity well enough to be a respected author among humans without anyone finding any clues to her ghoul nature, not even Haise in RE: - but she is still someone who was raised by ghouls. Her base nature is as a ghoul, from the 24th ward specifically. Naturally, there’s going to be some confusion between her and Kaneki, who was raised by humans.

But that leaves the good good question of what those differences should be. Clearly, some should be tiny, but there NEED to be huge misunderstandings bc I live for that kind of drama. Also, it’s a slowburn, so. that’s how it is.

this is long, and tagged for spoilers for a good reason. nothing specific, but if u like being surprised by the plot in ur grapefruit, go no further as of chapter 5

1) Ghouls have ABO while humans do not. Sure, there was a decently long time where Kaneki lived among ghouls, but can u picture early chapter Touka willingly sitting him down and giving the birds and the bees and the grasshoppers and also the spiders Talk? I think not. Maybe Kouma? Itori would. Like, they’d both kill him dead with it, but they would. And knowing the contexts within another culture doesn’t mean that you have assimilated those words/concepts to your own yourself, or that you actually know every single social detail, especially as it applies to others.

...but Eto does. And human gender/sexuality is fairly simple on the whole, except when it isn’t, so she has a leg up on him there.

plus, the way I have the ABO structured, it makes a bit more sense for him to be less aware of it, since his gender, as perceived by ghouls, is the most privileged one. Especially since its associated with deliberate power gain, which he totally played into during the later half of the first TG, so it would be a natural assumption for ghouls to make that he understood that he was acting exactly as his gender is socially expected to. and in a way that would socially cement his powerful omega status.

Tsukiyama would totally say something about it, since with the whole affluent family thing he’d probably be very aware of gender and social dynamics, but anything shuu says can be followed by “and he called me a cabbage in French last week, so okay shuu, whatever poetics ‘omega’ means to u, go ahead, have your fun buddy.” Banjou, who was involved with Rize, would be too worried about offending him or making it embarrassing to say anything. and as a ghoul even lower than shuu, he’d be super conservative about getting up in an omega’s business. It would just be this ambiguous open secret that everyone but Kaneki is totally, painfully aware of. the gasmask trio find this hilarious. Hina is a wee bab whose parent was a doctor for ghouls, so she just accepts her big bro as is.

so there’s eto’s expectations to be basically an underling to someone powerful as a normal, comfortable relationship dynamic, pitted against kaneki’s human-embedded inclination toward monogamy and not something that feels like weird bdsm domination stuff. they each are expecting a certain treatment from one another, and not getting it. eto feels neglected, since he isn’t all in her business and allowing her to settle in the shadow of his power and just ride things out, and kaneki, with only human expectations for sex, gender, and whatever the hell just happened, expects the worst from her as the “““male”““ in the relationship who manipulated him.

the conflict is that neither happens.

all of the power is on his side of the court, but in human terms, it feels like the opposite - vis a vis, human misogyny and all the horrible expectations for a sex and reproduction based marriage system that go along with that.

which is why i’ve inverted all that to make myself feel better :)

2) i kicked knots out bc idk about that business, but there have to be other physical differences. there have to be, or its boring. and then again, since both are hybrids, what should either have?

i’ve decided eto will have all physical differences or a learned equivalent due to ghoul socialization, while kaneki should have none but whatever was forced on him through his kakuhou - ie, pheromone stuff, but nothing more.

ghouls can purr, bc i am weak to that shit. Kaneki is aware of this. it’s just a Thing that they do. he’s read to Hina and she’s fallen asleep purring before and it was adorable. irimi purrs very quietly when she cleans things. uta is a purr machine when he makes masks, and it knocks yomo out unless he’s drunk, then he just purrs like a truck engine from the floor near uta’s desk for three hours. touka hasn’t purred since ayato left

eto purrs when she’s satisfied with her writing flow, which is one of the main reasons she prefers to work alone in her apartment and keep shiono out. otherwise, she doesn’t mind company. she also purrs when happy, like most ghouls. kaneki does not. i can site Haise’s RC scan on this: since he never took damage to the throat, he never had a chance to heal ‘more ghoul’ in that area.

so the exchange of a happy eto, deeply content with their uneasy peace, purring to express such delight, meets a blank wall that doesn’t agree. her social expression of happiness clashes up against kaneki only maybe leaning toward physical affection and being quiet. he can understand that she is happy, and she can understand that he can’t respond in the same way, but the dynamics of their relationship make her doubt her actions and get instinctually afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting someone much more powerful than her who also decides if she is allowed to reproduce with him or not. and stops purring and gets unsettled. kaneki is only confused and maybe she doesn’t like being touched? time to touch less. oh no, she did do Something Wrong and now omega is mad at her!! interpersonal drama escalates on both sides >:3c

ghouls have great night vision. kaneki also does and you know why. youve read the series. full ghouls have tapetum lucidum in both eyes, but eto only has it in her single ghoul eye. her vision is unbalanced in the dark but due to her learning to compensate for the slight reduction in light capture on one side she gets by just fine. it also parallels nicely with arima’s poor eyesight and learning to compensate for it.

ghouls are crepuscular while humans are diurnal, but this doesn’t matter since neither of etoneki know what a sleep schedule is. and the 24th ward doesn’t experience day/night cycles, so they have their own issues with sleeping when safe, do not sleep when not safe.

ghouls tend toward pack structure, but not in a rigid way where there can only be one omega/powerful ghoul per unit. as long as everybody gets along personally, its fine. omega don’t see each other as competition. alpha toss themselves at their feet without prompting. they’re not a scarce resource. alpha don’t even really fight over omega unless completely affected by heat and rut cycles and unable to grasp the concept of maybe next time. but even that is rare, mostly only those who are jealous as a person attempt this. if alpha fight over an omega and one wins, the omega might just kill them for taking away some of their prospects, or might be impressed by the show of strength. or annoyed by it, bc they want weak underlings. depends on the person. (eto is more than a bit possessive, at least for his first heat.)

more on this point as i think of it.

3)  I haven’t specified kaneki’s personal gender identity for a reason. that reason is that i’m not sure what direction i want to go. this is strictly for maman, not Sugar, which is trans girl Sasako forever. for this piece of feti/sh garbage? whom knows! (I know. and until word of god says otherwise - i’m god - every character is trans.)

but really, there’s options. and i love them all.

A) kaneki was trans all along. hide is best bi bud. aunt was a bitch, but nothing worse than canon since he was closeted at the time, although he doubly prepared to never speak to her again. (true neutral)

B) woke up a ghoul and with new parts. why believe a species change but not a sex change, eh? heightens the early game confusion and search for id as a person whose major ids have changed against his will. (lawful neutral)

C) gradual transformation. like how he came into his strength as a ghoul slowly. read a doujin like this once. was okay. quality art, big titties, 8/10. ngl would read the sequel. (Perhaps I am writing the sequel? aren’t we all just chasing our Brands across the lonely internet, hopping from one computer virus to the next? maybe u die reading hentai, or u live long enough to see urself post to ao3.) (chaotic neutral)

D) heals himself a new set of parts due to intense damage. see the haise RC chart, which has a ton of pathways around the hips/torso area. parallels with cutting eto in half?? (also lawful neutral)

E) started happening as a transformation when eto’s pheromones triggered his heat cycle for the first time. boy would he be pissed at her X2 lmao (lawful evil)

F) transformation during #240 time due to losing all memory and only having instinct to structure his body with, and just enough RC pathways to make a hormone based transformation possible. Chiba would have had a field day, but also would have torn out his horrible bowl cut in confusion. get rekt bud. not even #240 knows wtf goin on (neutral evil)

G) maybe he just wanted a vag! thought about that?? learns he is supposed to be able to manipulate his flesh like his kagune, which he is canonically great at, and just Goes For It. it works. he is a strong, dependent idiot who don’t need no dick. (iconic)

H) same as above, but that’s just what Haise does when he has the reigns. looks deep into his pastless self and asks ‘do i have to put up with this cis nonsense? not today.’ (chaotic iconic)

I) it happens suddenly when he activates his kakuja for the first time. queer the monster transformation u wish to see in the world. just. so confused. but also there’s Guilt to be felt about banjou and amon and such, so that’s back burner. (chaotic evil)

okay, so in like fifteen minutes i was able to name 9 perfect opportunities for ishida to carry though the motif of 1)iding with female ghouls 2)paralleling with canon trans man mutsuki 3)litcherally having a female ghoul organ donation fiasco 4)being associated with vacillating between masculine yang and feminine yin black/white 5)having a narrative that revolved around accepting his body and learning to find his own strength and id that is different than what he was born with - but coward ishida stopped sixty miles short of the mark. fool. I Cannot Feast Upon Crumbs, Sir. Sir, You Have Given Me Airplane Peanuts For Supper. Sir, I Am Starving And Antagonistic At Best.

(i shouldn’t call him a coward. three huge series magically having the same Wife And Kids ending all during the time shinzou abe is in office? probably not a coincidence. hope they got a good payout for it. i’d sell out for that $$$ too tbh)

eto is just an alpha. her human social id is a Normal Human Female Who Is Totally Cis and Straight for maximum social acceptance and ease of integration, but that’s only her mask. her personal id is an alpha, which is cis by ghoul standards, and she uses she/her pronouns bc she feels like it. she has the power to id as above alpha, but she enjoys the social invisibility it gives her, since she can blend in the background whereever and noone looks at her presumably weak ass twice. like chie, but for nefarious purposes.

....does that make her the equivalent of a ghoul feminist? i’m getting Too Deep

4) the wards can be isolated and far apart, and its been explored in canon with the Three Blades family and the white suites - congrats u 2 - and ghoul organizations that have a home ward having distinct cultural differences from one another. small ethnic groups and isolated diaspora? natives? subset?? of whatever the 24th ward ghouls - sorry, tokyo humans - are.

this sort of thing is only tangentially related to kaneki. if someone with a texas accent teaches someone to speak english, that person will have that accent, whether they’v ever been to texas or not. so he has some of the social mannerisms of a 20th ward ghoul, but generally still has a lot of ingrained human attributes to confuse them.

5) i’m still fascinated by the half finished thought about there are just some ghouls who become binge eaters in canon. like Rize wasn’t special for it. I think shinohara mentioned this?? but. it makes sense. general food insecurity, lack of permanent social support, total oppression, absurd power levels, plenty of humans to take it out on...ye.

and kaneki has the kakuhou of an adult binge eater. there’s cool hints of the kakuhou being parasitic, so a mature one would def fall into the biological fulfillment of binge eating for strength and carry that genetic knowledge into a new host. and from there, it would induce cravings, serotonin reward systems, and all that good stuff to get what its come to like.... like, mayhaps, a cordycepts? ;)

well, i’ve put ‘binge eater’ down as just a general omega trait, since it feels authentic to do so, so we’ll see what i do with this in the future. i will also see, since i too am ignorant of my own self. what will my horny subconscious do next? i am usually the last to know.

anyway,

peace

[jack-owo-valentine]

i dont kno u very well, but the fact that u have a "im a minor" thing on ur bio, kinda puts a vibe of "anything u do that offends me just means ur ageist, while u should cater to my preferences, whether i see it accidentally or not, and everything i do is justifiable/excused cause im a minor" cause i dont see the point of putting it on there other than just stating that ur a kid/teen and putting urself in danger, i know the point of it is so weirdos dont come to u, but there are ones wholl wait till they see that statement come off and be creepy afterwards, which wouldn't have garner their attention if it wasnt there in the first place, the only other reason it would be on there is to make an excuse about your actions on the internet, cause the majority on the internet are adults, mind u, i also was a teen on here, but i didnt have my age(or even stated i was a minor) in my bio till i was an adult.

Im not trying to send hate and be mean, though my wording can use some revision for this subject, as a kid/teen, its very risky to put a statement like that up on the internet cause you're handing out very private(and potentially dangerous) information on just a simple phrase, cause people can track your other online presence if you want to share them as an adult(ie twitter,youtube,discord etc) and find out about you very easily that way, and its still a scary concept, even for adults,

and you have to remember your age group and how they act, if they're canceling adults for what they did when(the adults) were young, they're going to do it to others in the same age group, and then they'll start looking for receipts for eachother, i only kno this cause it happened on tumblr, we couldn't do it to the adults cause they didnt have the internet and even if they did, most of the sites were down, i still remember the long callout posts, and the endless arguing and drama over a misunderstanding

Its also good to see if the phrases you're using are the ones you really want to stand by, cause what will happen is that people, just like me, who've seen kids/teens, use the phrase "im a minor", to excuse a lot of disturbing and very dangerous things they've done, cause no matter what age you do stuff and make excuses, it will affect your future like the adults being called out rn

dude i just put it bc "minor dni" blogs kept reblogging my stuff-

[mystarsforanempire]

meta: GODHOOD & ITS EFFECTS

mmm, u can reblog this if u wanna, but @ other gods & divine figures, you don’t necessarily have to Buy Into this concept, this is just what i run with on this blog and with any other figures i write that have ascended to godhood (e.g. like, hades and other greek figures)

i’m gonna try to lay stuff out in simple language that focuses on the sensation of belief and what effect it actually has on those who are Believed In in a literary sense. this bears some similarity to neil gaiman’s + terry pratchett’s concepts of belief in literature but i play with some earthier concepts that are much more based in the telepathic energy + the connection that fosters

this builds on the foundation of my concept of magic within the marvel universe, but to summarize that concept: magic exists throughout the universe, running in rivers across star systems and following, for example, ley lines upon earth while branching outward, kind of like groundwater but in three dimensions. magic is worked by drawing magic into the body (into dedicated “veins”), then running it out along previously laid-out “paths” (spells or rituals) or by utilising a higher telepathic ability to coax the magic into transforming into something else. 

2 notes:

- the word “god” is used to refer to BEACONS OF BELIEF, but the beacon may not be a god. faerie, demon, angel and other spirits affected by the ebbs and flows of belief (vague or not) could be transplanted into this consideration, but on a lesser scale. based on my own philosophy i would argue that a “spirit” is something that comes into form/being as a result of belief rather than ascending to godhood post-belief but honestly, that’s flexible

- this is really long and i’m trying to lay stuff out in relatively plain language for both my own understanding when i read back but also so people can Get Me, but totally feel free to shoot me questions about this because it’s like philosophy in that it’s vaguely scientific sounding bullshit, but can also seem simple to one person and really complex to another from the same angle!

strap urself in and hold onto ur tits, it’s time for ABSTRACT DISCUSSION OF BELIEF AS A MANIFESTATION OF TELEPATHIC ENERGY THAT CAN HAVE A PHYSIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECT ON THOSE THAT ENTER INTO ITS COVENANT

                                        WHERE DO GODS BEGIN?

the vast majority of gods exist before they are believed in. that is to say, they start off as figures usually a different species to those they are then worshiped by (although this is not always the case), and then, through a natural process of ingratiation, which becomes demonisation and/or idealisation, which becomes worship. 

not all beings can become gods, and very specific yet often incalcuable specifications must be met. the difference between non-god and god can occur within the space of seconds, and the elevation comes suddenly and impermeably: it is difficult to reverse.

one ascends to godhood by starting off as a figure of renown and high consideration: for some reason, the peoples that look up to them consider themselves separate. this might start off as a separation of class (either with firm boundaries, such as a huge difference in social class, or something like extremely remarkable appearance/personality), then becomes something which is GIVEN AND TAKEN between the god-to-be and their worshipers. 

a god of beauty begins as a figure of renown, to be looked upon with desire and delight: there comes a tipping point where the admirers become worshipers, and the god-to-be allows and welcomes the worship. a goddess of fertility may begin as a mother, but might then render advice or assistance (with magic or otherwise), and then become a figure to be admired... then worshiped. a figure of fire may be feared, even demonized, but then comes the tipping point: this god may be worshiped simply to appease.

make no mistake: when one enters GODHOOD, a covenant is made. the very spirit of that god becomes imbued with power (if they did not have it before) over their sphere of specialty, although these powers can be unreliable and patchy in places, depending on the extent to which different elements of the figure are worshiped. in the matter of apollo, for example, different devotees would examine him differently across the dozens of states in what we refer to as “ancient greece”, and subsequently that would have an effect on how absolute his power would be over particular subjects, perhaps even changing based on his closeness (telepathically, not geographically) to specific groups of devotees.

does this all sound vague??? does it all sound complicated? GOOD. no one sets out to be a god, not at first. and when it comes, it comes all at once.

                               WHAT POWER COMPELS THE GODS?

BASICALLY, it’s telepathic energy. if magic runs in natural rivers throughout the universe, being worked into grooves when spells are used, the channel of telepathic power that runs between god and believer is a groove in its own right. just as the telepathic command of a sorcerer affects the magic to change and become something else, this telepathic energy will affect the very being of the god.

this does not mean a god is controlled by their worshipers. the very nature of belief is flimsy and yet stark and block-like in the psyches of believers: belief is tended to subtle change from one worshiper to another, meaning that when many thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, or billions believe in a god, they will be different to how they would be if few people believed in them. 

a million believers may believe in some key elements, but others may be subject to change, meaning that the god figure will become blurred at the edges, will have hazy elements where something might be simultaneously true and not true. at the zenith of worship, a god’s memories (and vision of the future, which ill get onto in a minute) will be subject to what its worshipers believe of them, including their base personality, their powers & specialist knowledge & their connections to others.

this state of being, from the belief alone, is confusing and frenetic for some gods, peaceful and calm for others. it depends entirely on what others expect of them. 

                                      WHAT OF SACRIFICE & RITUAL?

energy becomes energy becomes energy: it is a fact of the universe that energy cannot be conjured from nowhere... but it can be conjured from magic. magic, in fact, is a universal lubricant that will serve to allow ONE THING to become another. what does this mean when it comes to ritual?

well, a sacrifice made up for a god is an offer of 2 things: telepathic energy (which in big enough quantities will undoubtedly affect, for example, the power at a god’s disposal and even their latent energy, such as their lifespan) and a GIFT, whether that gift exists in manifestable object/energy (e.g. offering a morsel of food, a sacrifice of meat + life energy, offering a pretty gem) or whether it is representative (e.g. offering a god your artistic thoughts, your dreams, your anger)

so like, this defo applies to loki and the other norse gods of my canon where i envision them as like, feral things at the zenith of belief in them. and that feralness is coming from the fact that you have a lot of people who are full to the brim with energy believing in them (and thus affecting them with similar energy), but also the nature of the sacrifices themselves. 

at the very high point of their worship, loki, thor and the other gods had continuously full mouths. full of blood, of half-cooked flesh, of wine; their minds would be full to the brim with prayers and wishes, askances and considerations. it is a deeply chaotic thing, and the minds of gods must become wider and ever full of other things. 

even if a god keeps up a concentration, settling upon their own lives rather than on the lives of their worshipers, that energy is constant upon them: it is difficult and sometimes painful for a god to turn down a sacrifice or an offer of worship, and it comes with its own psychological costs.

                                                      DESTINY & BELIEF

Magic flows like a river through everything - this includes time itself. although not everything is set in stone, the gods exist along a frame where some parts of the future are destined, are foretold, will inevitably occur.

some of these things are just natural aspects of destiny, but others are more centred to gods in that...

if all your worshipers know the story of the way you are killed, the way you will be killed, the way you were killed, that is probably how you will die. that telepathic energy affects magic, which will affect time itself, and thus destiny. what is destiny but foreknowledge?

and here’s the tricky part. i know that i said before “individuals become gods” and that that’s a kind of ephemeral process, difficult to imagine, except... magic knows what time doesn’t. if you are going to become a god in the future, retroactively you ARE a god now, and you were always a god, and you will always be a god, even when the only person still believing in you is yourself. fun, huh?

so that complex bit of mental gymnastics aside, i want to talk about a concept that’s very central to my portrayal of loki, and that’s FUTURE PAINS. so, imagine it: loki’s like, the equivalent of eight years old, and during a lull in the evening’s activities, when the sun is setting and the magic is flowing a certain way, he lets out a sound of pain, and clasps at his mouth. there is no wound there, and yet he knows that there is a wound, that there will be a wound, that there always was a wound. if he really concentrates, he feels the scars between his lower and upper lips, and if he really concentrates, he can feel the needle that will make them, that is making them, that will have made them.

because of the stream of belief that follows a god in every direction, the scars and the main events they’ll undergo are kind of accessible from all angles, regardless of where they are in the course of their own life: this means that a god will almost always know, on some level (likely deep in their unconscious mind) how they will die. think of it as an eternal sensation of déja vu that you effectively train yourself to ignore, simply to stop yourself going entirely mad.

                             WHEN IS A GOD NO LONGER A GOD?

when they die.

(and even then, it’s flexible.)