#which i dont for any number of reasons.
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bhaalble 1 year ago
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I like Shadowheart but I legitimately do not know where the narrative emerges from that Lae'zel is the aggressor because in every single playthrough I've done Shadowheart talks about her like three times more and usually unprompted. Lae'zel's RUDE sure but the worst thing she does to Shadowheart is tell us not to save her in the middle of a burning crashing mind flayer ship (while doing nothing to stop us if we decide to do it). Shadowheart comes out the gate suspicious of Lae'zel and is incredibly hostile and mistrustful of her not because of anything she's actually done. Shadowheart has actually done something to Lae'zel's people and she knows it but when confronted about that immediately jumps to "well it was probably stolen plunder anyways 馃槖馃槖馃槖" ITS NOT. ITS CARVED WITH GITH RUNES AND HAS BEEN WITH THEM FOR GENERATIONS. AND ALSO THAT WOULDNT MAKE IT YOURS.
The weirdest the game gets about this is that fight where Lae'zel challenges her to a duel and Shadowheart instead sneaks up on her in the middle of the night and holds a knife to her throat! And then starts!!! lecturing LAE'ZEL about how they need not be enemies and they could instead direct that hostility at others! This is seconds after "If the others ask, I'll say you were turning. Don't expect to be mourned" btw
To be clear this too is yuri but girl you have problems! Conditions even!
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employee052 5 months ago
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this is your reminder to make ur cringy n self indulgent art bc cringe is dead and you gotta live life (I say, despite the fact i still feel a bit cringe but im being so brave abt it)
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lettin myself post n do more art for myself so apologies for the more selfshippy art than usual
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bidokja 14 days ago
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I thought you kin kdj?
anon i hope this is a joke cause if this is a genuine question it is the singlemost scathing read i have ever recieved in my life 馃憦 bravo
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aroaceleovaldez 1 year ago
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my notifs recently got me thinking about the very random concept of "what if there is a second, secret CHB. directly below normal CHB." and i ended up brainstorming it in the discord.
context for how this originated: one was just a random notif on my post talking about the tunnels under the Hephaestus cabin, and the other was some tags from @drksanctuary on my fake readriordan article mentioning the idea of a chthonic demigod camp.
so. my brilliant (read: "smashing my 2 brain cells together") idea: the elaborate and seemingly infinite tunnels under cabin 9 are remnants of an abandoned underground CHB that exists directly underneath camp. It's basically just normal CHB except in a big cave system, probably connected to the labyrinth somewhere and has the separate tunnels, and instead of the Olympian cabins it has chthonic cabins. there's probably also some infernal nymphs and etc down there too. since all chthonic demigods can learn to shadow-travel they probably used that to get down there, and a lot of chthonic demigods probably have geokinesis just by nature, ergo the tunnels (for when they don't want to shadow-travel, or can't).
in brainstorming with the discord we decided it could be cool if some of the cabins lined up with the above-ground cabins, either for thematic purposes or associations or whatever. Like there's maybe a Hermes and maybe Poseidon cabin in the chthonic CHB too that just link to the above-ground ones, but also like Persephone cabin lines up to Demeter cabin because of course it does. and maybe Hecate cabin lines up to Cabin 8 cause Artemis is sometimes 1/3rd of Hecate. Maybe Angelos cabin is beneath Cabin 1, and Zagreus cabin is beneath Cabin 12. Things like that.
The other ones i thought of were either Hypnos or Thanatos cabin lines up with Apollo, because twins, and the other is just right beside it (because twins). And Charon's cabin is beneath Cabin 9, ergo why the tunnel system connects to it (because Charon. Ferryman. Surface access. It makes sense in my brain).
#pjo#riordanverse#headcanon#headcanons#au#< go figure which you wanna classify it as#this is entirely silly musing but it actually kind of works out nicely cause there's far fewer chthonic deities#than there are technical-olympians#so honestly you could get away with having the secondary chb only having a few extra cabins compared to the 12 usual cabins#it definitely wouldnt be any more than the 20 cabins it has by TOA#also for silly thematic reasons i do think itd be funny if despite everything cabin 13 is still inexplicably cabin 13 in underground chb#like. it shouldn't be. that doesnt make sense. but it is. what's the numbering system for the other cabins? who knows#negative numbers would be interesting. cause theyre underground#i do already have the hc of there being a secret extra cabin aboveground in chb nicknamed ''Cabin 0/Zero''#that's a little ways into the woods and kinda run-down cause it goes unused and basically why it exists is because#the ''12 olympians'' is actually inconsistent throughout ancient greece so there's a non-zero chance they could have a demigod show up#whose parent *is* technically one of the 12 olympians but they dont have a cabin for them - like Enodia. ergo: spare cabin#anyways all this musing is intentionally very silly#i just think itd be funny for chb to find out there is a second. more goth chb that is otherwise identical#literally directly below them. for no reason.#''why'd they made a second chb directly below the first one?'' ''idk underworld/chthonic reference i guess''
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wormchaser 2 months ago
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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bmpmp3 4 months ago
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everyone on earth probably has a hypothetical farming sim in their mind's eye that they daydream about on occasion because of the unfortunate situation that despite there being like a thousand farming games released every minute only like 4 of them are any good. and i think this is fun, i think its good to keep the imagination alive. if i made a farming sim i would bring back rival marriages from the old friends of mineral town. i want to steal someones wife.
#jk jk you dont steal anyones wife or husband. but it wasnt a popular feature because people felt like they were stealing someones spouse#plus the fact that characters married eachother after a certain amount of time made them unavailable for player marriage adding a timelimit#if the player wants to get married. but thats why i want it BACK i think its 1) hilarious and 2) interesting and makes the world feel alive#NOW part of the reason (outside of it being an unpopular feature to begin with) its not in like any modern games is probably because#devs don't know how to deal with non-gender-locked marriage candidates with this#i think its easy. everyone is bisexual. not just playersexual. textually bisexual#it'll be interesting if they always have a set pairup regardless of player gender but it could also be interesting if there was like#a little algorithm to give a couple non-player pairups as options. maybe make it random#or if a dev was tooooo ambitious they could add a matchmaking system that the player could be involved with if they wanted to play cupid LO#but that seems too much for a farming game. thats usually a whole other game in itself#but yeah i think its easy. its not like farming sim marriage candidates are all that deep characters to begin with#i think itd be fine if you had a couple randomized rival marriages...... i think itd be neat#my other farming sim daydream is NO fucking combat for the love of god FREE ME from combat#that is why i like story of seasons just a bit more than stardew#stardew has so much good farming mechanics but god i hate the mines. i think its so soso sososososososo boring#i also dont really like the turn based battles in atelier games and most atelierlikes either#(well i liked it in mana khemia but that was more turn based focused than alchemy focused)#i came here to farm. i came here to make potions. i came here to micromanage numbers. do not make me battle#but that is purely a personal preference thing LOL a lot of people really love farming game combat. i dont tho <3#MY DAYDREAM FARMING SIM HAS NO COMBAT... AND YES CUCKHOLDRY#(jk jk thats not what rival marriages are. but thats how people talk about them. which is fascinating)#(unfortunately it makes me laugh so thats why i keep making jokes about it. sowwy <3 )
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spheredotorb 6 months ago
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wait is. is that seriously the only magokirby art post on this entire website. is that seriously it
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berrymeter 1 month ago
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why..... am i still awake......... coughs like i dieying
#thistle.txt#i mean my cough has gotten better. winning. somewhat. but i have been up the past 28? hours? which isnt ideal?#i dont know i kinda dont know numbers right now maybe its been longer.. i dont know......#just been very antsy due to thinking about the characters too hard for too long. i dont know why it odes that to me.#i have to think about NOVEL INTERESTING THINGS to survive. & well there havent been many interesting things to think about#kinda just like mold & spores figuratively...#caught a glimpse of whats going on at sment & closed my eyes. ahh... horrible horrible. not good stuff over there. not good.#oh my god. dpr in one month. shaky breath. they better not put any fucking lame songs on the setlist!!!!!!!!!!#fuckk i think rome did mood at that one concert last year i hope he does it again#tried to think of a song i dont want him to put on the setlist & couldnt find one. really? surely theres one#i thought there was a song on miito i didnt like as much....? hm. oh well more good music for me#maybe it was avalon but like so long as it doesnt take the spot of a song i REALLY like im fine w avalon. its not bad#& its hard to be mad at music once im seeing it live#now live........... well alli ahve to say is he should release more music some time. maybe. think about it.#not to be ungrateful or anything.#fuck my voice is like SHOT shot i forgot i cant speak at any kind of high pitch rn..... well i do like the deeper voice lip bite emoji..#i have no reason to talk out loud though good night
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orcelito 3 months ago
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 馃槶馃槶馃槶#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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gibbearish 1 year ago
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so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe
#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info#pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number#or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big#in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain#will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean'#and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool#nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed#to feel like this!!!!#so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it#this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too#and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons#but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats#when you should start being like ok somethings afoot#like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative#...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely#and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL#anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them#/suicide#/suicide mention#/suicidal ideation#/depression#/death mention#and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and#start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side#passive*#eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is#im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres#any errors left my apologies
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qumiiiquinnquin 5 months ago
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maybe ive said it before, but i feel like im going to pick up a lot of habits my parents had, like smoking and drinking extremely unhealthy amounts of cigarettes and alcohol
#kind of a vent#i mean. i dont know this for sure. and i could definitely pick up those habits not because of my parents.#thats not even what im really saying. i strongly dont think i would pick up those habits solely *because* of them anyway#i just for whatever reason have that feeling that ill end up like them (hopefully not)#i personally dont think i will ever get in to smoking. i dont see the appeal or how it makes someone 'cool'#of course ive never done it so maybe i dont understand. but i really dont want to fuck up my health or put others in any danger#im pretty sure im so turned off because of red ribbon week at school but i feel like that education about smoking is helpful#because of school my sibling and i got both of our parents away from smoking which i think they were grateful for#my dad used to smoke a lot and would chainsmoke as well as go through a number of packs in one day#i dont think my mom ever smoked that much but she still smoked since she was 17 or 18. she's returned to it to cope with a relative's d*ath#im not convincing her to stop but i worry about her health. i dont think she cares just as long as my nana doesnt see her pack or lighter#as for drinking my dad nearly became an alcoholic at one point and has since tried to cut back#smoking and drinking are so common that i dont really know why i worry about being completely clean in my own lifetime#i mean im having my first drink on my 21st birthday. ive only ever tried a taste of wine and hated it so jve never drank before#i mean all of this more as. i guess ending up on that deeper end like my parents. i hope i dont and i never want to
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girlscience 11 months ago
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THE FACT TRANSFORMERS DO NOT HAVE CONSISTENT SIZING OR EVEN CANON HEIGHTS FOR MOST CONTINUITIES
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#tf#I HATE IT HERE WHY DO THEY HAVE SUCH WILDLY DIFFERING HEIGHTS#i can't even find canon heights for most of them anyway 馃槶#i just want to be able to figure out a ratio for auto form to robot form so i can figure out how tall my oc would be#and then how tall they would be compared to various characters#but noooooo bumblebee can be roughly in the same height range every time#and that correlates fairly one to one to his auto form (from what i can find)#starscream seems to vary a lot within the twenties or so.. but if he's one of the F number jets.#that's like a ratio of ~.4 ISH for robot height to irl jet length (again for the heights i can find)#which is no where NEAR the one to one ratio of Bee#and don't even get me STARTED on optimus 馃槶#and NONE of the motorcycle transformers make any kind of fucking sense AT ALL#i can't even start on them because I will pull all my hair out#listen. I just want a reasonable height for either a motorcycle tf or a car tf and starscream.#it's all I need to figure out a decent height for my oc based on their vehicle mode (THATS THE WORD IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR not auto form lol)#i need the motorcycle or car tf to figure out their height. and i need screamers so i know what it looks like when they fuck him lmaoo#THATS ALL I WANT. I DONT FEEL LIKE THATS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR BUT FUCK ME I GUESS#it's 1:30 am and I have been laying in bed thinking about this for the past ehhhh 2 and a half hours#and this is definitely not the first time i've gone down this particular rabbit hole#I JUST WANT ANSWERS
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istherewifiinhell 6 months ago
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[on my hands and knees] noooooo what do you MEAN they changed animation studios... you cunts. The samurai rab.bit PEOPLE
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ajdrawshq 6 months ago
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on the note of you not getting the best grade at DMing (but a good grade at friend!!!) did you ever get around to reading Kay's zero escape fic I don't even remember when I mentioned it but surely I mentioned it to you right did I :0
... also I have been getting a bad grade in getting back into playing rpgs I'm sory 馃槶
OH SHIT DID I...... I DONT THINK I HAVE..... i swear i remember u mentioning it to me at some point but i mustve just completely forgot after a while im so sorry;; maybe its somewhere in our dms.. ill check for it there after i wake up (< FOR REAL THIS TIME..) but maybe itd be easier if u sent it again just in case? thank u SO much for reminding me bc i would Not have remembered this myself,,
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carmarriage 7 months ago
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red vs blue restoration blew such huge chunks im actually mad. like completely enraged. and i wouldnt have it any other way. rest in peace you son of a bitch
#like under the conditions it was made. i can understand why it is the way it is.#but i would genuinely be hard pressed to imagine a way it couldve been worse.#they brought tex back. which is like the number one thing they should have never done under any circumstance. leave the poor woman ALONEEEE#wash had absolutely nothing to do except act like an idiot for no reason and Be Crazy. leave him alone too#carolina showed up just to immediately get her shit kicked in. she doesnt even say a single word to tex so what was the point#and i fucking love tucker so im biased but WHAT!!!!! HOW DO YOU DECIDE TO DO META TUCKER AND FUMBLE HIM THAT HARD!!!!#tucker doesnt get a single line reflecting on Literally Being Tortured for (from his perspective) TEN YEARS????#not a single genuine emotional moment for him???? just gets up and says ''oww that sucked. bow chicka bow wow haha am i right fellas''#the blues got shafted so fucking hard. they barely interact with each other. they get no resolution at all.#wash and tucker didnt even talk. i dont think they were ever even in the same frame. if you wanted me to kill myself you couldve just said#also i havent watched s15-17 since they released and i didnt bother with rvb0 but when did doc die. huh#carolina said something about ''what happened on chorus'' and HUH? did i just miss that completely. what the fuck#also where is donut. he wasnt even in this. im assuming something happened to him that i just dont remember during/after s18 but i miss him#sorry for being so mean lmfao i dont usually like complaining so much but man...........#they didnt even make grimmons canon. smh my head#anyway rvb ended after s13 鉂わ笍 yayyy
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pepprs 2 years ago
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i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it鈥檚 like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn鈥檛 know what she鈥檚 taking abt bc she鈥檚 never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it鈥檚 INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!
#purrs#imbeing insane about it i know it鈥檚 not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i#get to be 鈾ワ笍) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it鈥檚 like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i#am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of#course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃拃馃拃馃拃馃拃馃拃馃拃馃拃 and th w worst part is you can鈥檛 just go out into#the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don鈥檛 fucking go anywhere#so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the#way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT#SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#delete later#like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don鈥檛 think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy)#it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else鈥檚 number 1 person and when you have kids it鈥檚 like you鈥檙e gonna love your partner more#than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE#psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it鈥檚 n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si#since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i#just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being#RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it鈥檚 so crazy#like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you鈥檙e missing out on because you鈥檙e young and then you realize I#it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone 鈾ワ笍 im normal
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